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sad-trekkie-life · 2 months ago

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What I think TOS crew Instagram accounts would look like:

Bones:

Less then 1K followers. Private account. Selfies of him being in a company, a lot of selfies with Kirk, bad pictures of Spock, random photos of medical equipment. Sometimes snaps of landscapes. Active on stories.

Argues in the comments on scientific and moral topics (he’s usually right).

Has 2 secret accounts: Dolly Parton fan account, with a huge amount of followers. Other one is reviews of drinks, bars and clubs of different planets, also has a big amount of followers.

Spock:

A lot of followers (think ten thousands). Posts rarely, so account doesn’t really grow. Very beautiful photos of the landscapes and portraits of crewmen. A lot of candid pictures of Kirk. Sometimes posts harp music. Doesn’t feature his face for privacy.

Kirk:

Successful influencer amount of followers (think of hundreds of thousands or even over a million since other planets might have instagram as well). Cares about feed’s aesthetic, which features a lot of space, stars and shiny disco balls. Posts videos where he tells about his adventures while doing “get ready with me” (usually makeup), regular outfit checks. Pictures Spock made of him, information of interviews, articles, him with famous interplanetary politicians and celebreties, etc.

The only photos of people without him in the picture as well are of Spock (with some cheesy captions), and of Bones, with funny captions. Always pins Bones’ comments. Reposts Spock’s photography in stories. Doesn’t know why Dolly Parton fan account follows him. Follows Bones’ review account without knowing it is Bones, recommends Bones’ recommendations to everyone, even to Bones. Tries to convince Spock to create a beauty account.

Scotty

Scotty does have an account, but does not post anything on it. Still managed to get 325 followers.

Chekov

Two accounts. Meme account and modeling. Meme account is pretty big, and it’s Russian memes. Modeling account is smaller than meme account but still big. Collaborates with popular intergalactic brands. Doesn’t tell people about model account, meme account is Chekov’s proudest achievement.

Sulu

Cosplay. Botanics. Shitposts. Cosplay again. Comic cons (with Chekov). Flowers. Cosplay. Not a big amount of followers but not a small one.

Uhura

Amount of followers is slightly higher than Kirk’s. Makeup, outfits, singing, African culture. Spock leaves a lot of nice comments there. Uhura from time to time features Spock to promote a makeup or them to do makeup to each other. McCoy also gets featured especially “doing makeup to my friend” kind of videos, and is pretty popular among her fans, but he doesn’t accept follow requests. Feed aesthetic often changes, but always has bright colors, certain themes and color schemes.

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elexuscal · 11 months ago

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because i've been in been in the biology industry for so long that i can no longer judge what's common knowledge and what's actually very niche

how aware are most people that there's a protein called Sonic hedgehog protein, coded for by the SHH gene?

and that it is one of the core proteins responsible for development in all animals?

i can say 'Sonic hedgehog causes cancer' and i'm not even shitposting. it's scientific fact.

#biology #sonic the hedgehog #okay SHH doesn't so much cause cancer #rather #certain mutations in the gene and alterations to the SHH transcription pathway contribute to certain kinds of cancer #there i've hopefully been sufficiently accurate #i just need to know if this is basic enough everyone is aware or not

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louthesawgirl · 5 months ago

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What each Saw character would get as a Tesco meal deal (scientifically accurate)

Hello everyone, I decided as my debut long Saw shitpost, I thought I would decide what meal deals different Saw characters would opt for if they stumbled into a Tesco and were a bit peckish after setting up a few traps.

If you’re not from the U.K. or Ireland and are not familiar with the British & Irish institutions of a meal deal, it’s basically a packaged sandwich, pasta pot, salad, bit of sushi maybe alongside a snack item and a drink for a fixed price (it used to be around £3/ €4 but the shops are taking the piss now). Meal deals are considered a treasured institution here and are an indication of your personality. People judge your character based on what you get between two slices of cheap bread.

Here’s what different Saw characters would get for a Tesco meal deal:

Adam (Faulkner) Stanheight

1. Southern fried chicken chipotle mayo sub

2. Doritos cheese flavour

3. Vimto still drink

Judging on how we know Adam is quite an unorganised adult struggling to adult most days, I would assume he opts for high energy foods to keep his tastebuds happy. Cheese, spiced chicken and fruity drinks seem up his street. Plus, Vimto is a very Mancunian thing and if Saw was set in the U.K., there’s no way Adam would not be from Manchester.

Dr Lawrence (Larry) Gordon

1. Eat Your Greens Feta Salad

2. Apple & Grape snack pot

3. Chilled Iced Latte

I feel like because Larry is a doctor, he prioritises convenience but also eats healthily. I also imagine him to be meat free/ vegetarian so that explains the feta & greens salad (I don’t think he’d be vegan though, he seems like he loves proper cheese too much). Larry seems like he’d always be carrying breath mints or tictacs to minimise the cheese or coffee breath- nobody needs a waft of that when being told they’ve got 6 months left to live.

Amanda Young

1. BLT sandwich

2. Walkers Thai Sweet Chilli Sensations Crisps

3. Monster Energy drink (chosen based on packaging colours to match mood)

Amanda is a busy lady planning traps and building contraptions designed to almost certainly kill people. She seems like she enjoys a bit of spice along with classic comfort combinations.

John Kramer

- Chicken & bacon sandwich

- Egg snack pot

- Green smoothie

John seems like he’s mindful of what he puts into his body considering he’s consistently a salt & vinegar crisp away from death with the cancer and all. He’s also a very smart man so he would know the best value for money combination with a meal deal is getting an overpriced fruit smoothie for a drink.

Mark Hoffman

- All Day Breakfast sandwich (triple)

- Walkers Max Salt & Vinegar crisps

- Red Bull

Mark seems like he can’t get enough of bacon & sausage, even though it’s cold and not exactly very fresh. Maybe he’d even have a bit of HP brown sauce with it. Mark would also probably make immature jibes towards vegans and vegetarians because he’s that kind of man. Considering Mark works overtime setting up traps and evading capture, all he’d be drinking by the events of Saw 7 would be energy drinks.

Jill Tuck

- Egg & Cress sandwich

- Arla strawberry protein yogurt

- Bottle of water

Jill is a bit… bland. I’m sorry but I just have to say it. Egg & cress perfectly summarises Jill’s personality as seen in movies 4-7 between two pieces of bread.

Peter Strahm

- Deli style cheese & pickle sandwich

- Smoked salmon sushi pack

- Pepsi Max

Strahm made some good decisions, some regrettable ones and one very very dumb decision during his time in the Saw universe. Just like his track record with making poor decisions, I’d guess Peter would get some supermarket sushi as a snack with his meal deal- not very fresh nor authentic and will leave you wondering why you couldn’t have got a pack of reliable crisps or a chocolate bar instead.

Lindsey Perez

- Feta & sundried tomato pasta

- Propercorn sweet & salty popcorn

- Fanta orange

Perez is a great character and so she would get a meal deal to reflect that. Why do I also imagine Lindsey being veggie?

Eric Matthews

- Meatball marinara sub

- Walkers Monster Munch Pickled Onion crisps

- Red Bull

I feel like this choice accurately reflects Eric. It’s a combination that’s maybe reflective of an immature palette, maybe even a sort of guilty pleasure combination. I wonder if he’d put the monster munch hands (or feet) on his fingers and eat them like that.

Hope you enjoyed my incredibly British saw shitpost x

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weenwrites · 2 years ago

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Cooking A Meal: Part 2

Summary - You ask one of the cons to cook you a meal, but honestly it goes about as well as you'd expect. Characters - Megatron, Shockwave, Starscream, Soundwave, Dreadwing, Knockout, Breakdown, Airachnid, Predaking, Darksteel, Skylynx Content - Crack Category - Headcanons Trigger Warnings - None

✎ A/N: This is an un-revised shitpost, not something too serious.

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

Megatron

Don't even bother having him try to cook you something, he can't cook at all. More often than not he'll just send some vehicon off to fetch you a meal, but when he's actually put in a kitchen and told to cook a meal, he'll probably serve you a plate of charred... Stuff.

It reeks and honestly you can't even tell what it used to be. The most he knows about cooking is that humans always heat up their food. He doesn't know how cooked a piece of meat or a slice of bread has to be, and despite knowing how useful patience is, he can't bring himself to wait a couple minutes for a slice of bread to turn golden brown.

Even with some instructions he doesn't understand a single word on that page. What does "fold in the cheese" even mean?! All in all, the food tastes awful, the presentation is awful, and it's not even a nice experience, he somewhat cleans his mess, but still, it's an awful experience. Even your local fast food restaurant would serve something better than what he could make you.

Shockwave

He wouldn't be too bad at cooking... However the meal he's served you is most likely made from some artificial substitute... It's not bad, per say, and it has a higher nutritional value than everything in your kitchen combined, but... He didn't stand in a kitchen to make it, he stood in a lab and fabricated it. That aside, it's plain and has a bit of a weird taste, the presentation sucks, and it's not naturally made, it was fabricated in a laboratory. It counts as science. Not cooking. So nevermind, he'd be bad at cooking.

But if he were to cook, he'd get into the technicalities of all, and spout food science facts at you. He'd tell you all about how proteins in meat force out moisture through coagulation, and that's how meat cooks. Or how amino acids and simple sugars are rearranged to change the color of meat as it cooks. Unless you know about food science yourself, all it may sound like some scientific garble to you. Whether you implore him to continue or not is all up to you.

But just because he knows about the chemical composition of a cracker doesn't mean he knows how to make things taste good. He chooses things based on their nutritional value, not their taste. Everything from meal portions, to seasonings, to even the temperature it was cooked at is all carefully measured to ensure that you're getting your healthy fill of nutrients. He doesn't even allow you to season it afterwards, because any more seasoning would disturb the healthy balance.

Still, while it may be nutritious, it certainly isn't delicious, but at least it's 100% edible and extremely healthy.

Starscream

He didn't know humans cooked their food, he thought they just ate it as is. So you'll have to explain a lot of stuff to him before either of you actually get anywhere. But once he gets the basics down, he'll be off to a rough, yet good start!

He's very particular about the way things are organized in a kitchen, and he'll get real annoyed if you moved something like a spatula or a spoon he was using. He's sorta set up this organization system in the kitchen that works specifically for him and no one else. While it may look like a mess on the outside, it works really well for him.

He'd never touch raw meat, even if it were to cook for you. He just hates the feeling, so you'd basically have no luck at getting him to scrub a chicken down with salt and seasoning unless you gave him a pair of gloves or a brush. But even if he's a bit squeamish, he's very thorough with his work, and very patient too. But he does complain about how long it takes for things to prepare things and then cook.

Might be a bit burnt here, and a bit bland over there, but if you pick some parts out and sprinkle some salt, pepper, spice, or hot sauce on it, it makes for a solid-ish meal! Which is pretty impressive, given the fact he once knew nothing about cooking a few hours ago.

Soundwave

They're actually a really good chef, better than everyone else, that's for sure. Soundwave knows where and how to learn what he needs to know, so it wouldn't take long for him to research and grasp the bare bones of cooking. And after a couple of tries, they could definitely whip you up a 5 star meal that tastes like something the best chef in the world would make.

It's almost scary how fast he learns, but hey at least you're getting like one of the best meals in the world using cheap ingredients from your fridge. Like who knew ketchup could taste so good in place of fancy marinara sauce!

And because of the amazing meal he made, it's without a doubt that he is the undisputed best chef aboard the Nemesis and everybody else's skills immediately pale in comparison. If it were a competition, it would've been over the moment they joined.

Dreadwing

Like almost everyone on this list, he has no idea what to do, and he has no idea what humans eat, so it ends up being a bit of a lecture before he actually starts cooking. It might take him a bit, and he'll stumble here and there, but he's always quick to ask good questions to ensure he has a solid grasp on what he needs to do.

He's quick to pick up anything you teach him, like about cutting vegetables, or seasoning meals, temperature, et cetera. And in a while, he's able to follow a recipe rather well, only occasionally coming to you to ask a question about what "folding" or "basting" or "al dente" means.

He'd serve you a pretty solid meal all in all. But on the off-chance that what he made for you had caused you to get sick, he'd immediately and sincerely apologize to you, and most likely never make you a meal ever again.

Knockout

He has some knowledge around human cooking thanks to the internet, and it helps the slightest bit, but for the most part he'll be bugging you with all his questions about human cuisine and cooking.

And all the while he's cooking, he'll ask you to fetch him things like that kitchen knife over there, or that measuring cup—no, not that one. That one was used for wet ingredients, he needs the other one that was used for dry ingredients, now chop chop. The clock's ticking. Or he'll holler at you to come and help hold the bowl as he scrapes the mixture into another pan.

Surprisingly, the kitchen actually remains rather nice and orderly throughout it all. He fills your sink with water and just leaves the dirty dishes in there to soak, and cleans messes the instant they're made, which greatly helps with clean-up afterward! But he won't touch the dishes. He just hates the feeling of scrubbing grimy food off, so you're on your own unless you give him a pair of gloves.

But as for the food itself? It's... Semi-decent! He may have burned it a little, or messed up one of the steps, but it still tastes good and it's still edible. He even decorates it nicely! He'd chop any vegetables into cute little shapes, and he has a good eye for presentation. So it's pretty nice.

Breakdown

He doesn't know anything about human cooking. He does question where the heck human food comes from though, and the most he knows is that humans consume other organisms, which he finds really weird. So in the beginning, the whole cooking session might be more of an educational session than anything, but only so he understands what humans can eat and what he should be doing.

He technically doesn't do any cooking since he just makes you things like instant noodles or instant mac n' cheese. But he'll need a bit of supervising because with the noodles, he'll put the seasoning packet in the water while the noodles are cooking, and then drain the noodles because he thought that the noodles would absorb the flavor (same goes for the mac n' cheese), but it turns out that the cheese water just goes down the drain. So it technically isn't completely his fault that the food may taste off (because instant food doesn't always taste that good...) but he does mess some of the steps up which contributes to that.

But with a little guidance here, and a little trial and error there, he'll actually be able to whip up something pretty decent using the instant stuff as a base! He'll add things like chopped up vegetables or spice for some flavor in some instant ramen, or cook the macaroni in milk and add some mustard for mac n' cheese, or perhaps crack an egg and add some garlic into some insta-soup.

All in all, it's a pretty solid meal for his first time cooking. But does it really technically count as cooking if he used an already pre-made thing to make it?

Airachnid

If she didn't care about you as much as she does, she would've fed you something poisonous if she didn't ignore your request first. She's... A questionable cook... To say the least, but one thing's for sure, all the meat she uses in her cooking is fresh. And I mean fresh as in "she dragged that animal into the kitchen and slaughtered it on the spot" kind of fresh, which is ideal if you're eating something that requires super fresh meat like oysters.

She doesn't burn the food, but she most likely under-cooks it. As for seasoning, well, she doesn't add any, so whatever you're eating will need a whole lot of salt, pepper, and spices either to taste like something, or to distract from the horrible taste the food already has.

But while the food may taste weird, the presentation's interesting. It's something of an art, made from something you don't even think you can call "food" anymore, but it's interesting to look at.

All in all, the food tastes horrible, the presentation's neat, and you're 100% guaranteed to get food poisoning if you scarf the entire meal down (which you won't, the stench is bad enough to kill even flies).

Predaking

He can't cook at all—actually, he doesn't even know what humans eat, so you'll have to explain to him quite a lot. Even then, he'll probably just bring you a dead animal and assume that's enough. You'll actually have to lecture him on cooking meat, preparing ingredients, and whatnot. So this whole thing turns into a cooking lesson as opposed to doing actual cooking.

He soaks all that knowledge up like a sponge, and with his newfound knowledge of cooking he's able to make something relatively decent for you, if not leaning more towards mediocre! The meal is something simple, probably from a cookbook you have at your house (or on the internet...)

All in all, while it's below average, it's probably above-par by your standards, given the fact you just taught him how to cook a hot second ago. The presentation is simple, the food actually tastes good, so all in all it's a pretty average meal.

Darksteel

Surprise, surprise! He is the worst cook out of them all. And here you might have thought that Predaking or Airachnid would've been the worst, but nope. It's him. He'd most likely burn your kitchen down, if not trash everything you have, and waste everything you have in your fridge. The best he does is bring you a dead animal that he "cooked" by spewing fire at it. Then again it's most likely either overcooked or undercooked and would definitely give you trichinellosis, E. coli, BSE, salmonella, or whatever other horrible disease you risk contracting by eating what he's served you.

But what about vegetables? He doesn't even know what a vegetable is, and unless you give him a really thorough description of what counts as a vegetable or not, he'd most likely just uproot a tree or pluck a bush out from the ground and give it to you, mildly scorched, because he remembered that you have to cook it.

If you were to ask him about presentation, he'd probably pose the scorched cattle or chicken he got his claws on, set the crisp "vegetables" upright, and think that's good enough "presentation".

Bottom line? Do not eat anything he gives you, it'll absolutely destroy your stomach.

Skylynx

Yeah he doesn't want to. He'd hate cooking so much because everything takes so long to do! He's sensible enough to do some research and learn, or ask you questions for clarification, but waiting for water to boil just drives him crazy.

He tries to work diligently and be patient, but you might catch him cutting corners a little bit. How so? Well, he'd raise the temperature of the stove to get something to cook faster, or if he needs to carefully ground something into a poultice, he'll just smush it into paste. If you're having something simple like mashed potatoes, then he has absolutely no problem preparing that.

He doesn't pay much attention to how it looks, so while the food he serves looks unappetizing as he straight up slaps it onto your plate, it actually tastes pretty decent... Ish... Decent-ish. Sure your food may have come out a bit burnt, or you might find some weird chunks in it, but it's better than what Darksteel has to offer, that's for sure.

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fiireicee · 5 months ago

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three Starmania fanarts posted in less than 24hours ? You're not just cooking at this point you're a chef

Haha thanks 😳😳

There's a scientific explanation of this: I post fanarts, people react to them very nicely, so I make more fanarts, people loves them, so I make even more art and boom that's how I ended up making this much fanart 😭

I still have a long list of shitpost to do but I should also work on my other illustrations and also on my Starmania dtiys I'm teasing it since a while on my other socials sooooo I should work on it 😔🖐

#I yapped a lot while answering damn but I love talking about my life 😭

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systembug · 1 year ago

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Bug Pronouns

So, as a non-native english speaker i wonder about certain rules that are connected directly to my interest - insects.

When i was taught english, the rules about animal pronouns were kinda outdated. Any animal should be referred to with an "it/its" pronoun. However being actually exposed to native speakers quickly proved otherwise - people like to humanize their pets and use more "human" pronouns. (Very valid btw) And any language is a creature of its own - it is constantly changing and evolving. So i wonder - how bug-lovers refer to bugs and why? What kind of flavour people give to a small thing they find cute or interesting when they refer to it? This is borderline a shitpost, i just think it would be fun to make this poll, please dont take it too seriously. But if you ever saw serious research on bug gender, send a link cuz it sounds interesting :D

#bugposting #bugblr #bugs

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recurring-polynya · 2 years ago

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Re: the tags on Sensing Rukia Fighting Aaroniero: Renji the Designated Squad 11 Radio Antenna. It's the hair spikes they help him hear better. Yumichika's antenna are the hair/eyelash accessories. Zaraki doesn't count bc his own electromagnetic reiatsu aura drowns out everything else and this is also why he's always shouting. Welcome to Shitpost Worldbuilding Wednesday With Lexi.

Whether or not this is actually true, I like to believe that this is the commonly held belief at Squad 11 (at least among those who are capable of paying attention through a six-syllable word like 'electromagnetic.') Look at Madarame. His bald ass ain't sensing shit.

Mostly, though, I am enjoying thinking about Renji explaining this to the Nerd Squad at the bar. He is a) quite drunk and b) very earnest, but also, c) a known troll and retired professional liar. No one can tell if he believes this or if he's trying to have one over one him (where "the one" is that he believes this bullshit). This is happening during the 17-mo timeskip, so Momo is substantially recovered, but also drunker than she probably should be, and is also constantly Taking Up Projects. Looking around the table, she realizes that she has the makings of a very good Scientific Experiment.

Over the next three weeks, she calls the three of them up at random times and asks them to tell her where she is, or where some randomly designated person is ("Captain Hitsugaya? He's in his office. He's *always* in his office.") She keeps a big notebook, recording their accuracy.

Unfortunately for science, while they're all roughly equal, Renji is a little better at sensing reiatsu than Shuuhei, who is in turn, a little bit better than Izuru.

Renji is insufferable. Izuru is livid. Shuuhei decides to join the "insufferable" side, because he thought he was going to come in third and is very excited about coming in second.

Shinji spends an hour on the phone trying to convince Hiyori to repeat the experiment in the Living World with Love and Hachi ("You used to be a scientist! Don't you miss doing a science?" "Absolutely not.")

Momo writes a white paper and makes a nice poster, which she presents to the SWA. Nemu rates her a "good methodology and interesting results" and asks if she can have a copy to share around at Squad 12. The Twelfth has a lot of machines for enhancing reiatsu sensing, she says, but no one has really done a deep dive into wearable solutions, because they all hate "going outdoors" and "doing things."

Akon shows up to next Tuesday's booze night because he's decided to try integrating some micro-antennae into his horns. Izuru swears he will murder all of them.

Anyway, as far as we know, we've never been given any sort of explanation as to why Momo cut her hair short during the timeskip, but there's no way to disprove that she did it so that she could gel it into an sick prototype reiatsu-sensing faux-hawk (for science!)

#momo hinamori #renji abarai #the nerd squad #squad 11 #bleach worldbuilding #senjumaru voice: you think i'm wearing this headgear for my health???#unfortunately the 12th loses a lot of institutional memory every time they get disbanded and half of their leadership gets thrown in muken #is this also why izuru got rid of his awful duckbill haircut (at least briefly)?#'maybe you should try pointing it upwards' renji suggests helpfully #'maybe you should try CENSOR CENSOR CENSOR'

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