#very much sex repulsed… but hey

[nanowatzophina]

Just some Fooliverse fun!

Might do more of these. I really like the fun reverse takes of these characters—

It’s all so fun with the whole reversals!! I love it!!

Might do some Fooliverse designs as I go— tho it depends on if my dumb brain can be nice to me.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hey, allo anon with an ace partner here. I wanted to say thank you so much for the well wishes! I figured I would send this in here again, so anyone else who is curious about what this experience looks like from the other side can see it.

My girlfriend came out to me a little over 2 years into our relationship. At the time it surprised me a lot, because she'd never given me any signs that she wasn't enjoying what we were doing. After we talked more I understood that she wasn't repulsed by sex and she didn't hate it, but she didn't really love it either and wanted to stop doing it for a while (so a sex-neutral ace).

Honestly, at the time, I did get anxious about it. Not just because of social conventions, but because I had viewed sex as an important bonding part of our relationship. I don't do well with change, and I was super worried about how a lack of sex would change our dynamic. I also had some insecurities about my own body, and my girlfriend admitting that she didn't see me as sexy was upsetting. But after speaking to my therapist, I realized that I was projecting my own issues on to the relationship. So I spoke with her again, and she reassured me that she wanted to be with me, and that she was confiding these feelings because she trusted me. She likes how I look, she just doesn't have the same sexual impulses I do.

So, I realized this was pretty much like cuddling. I love physical touch a lot, and I want to cuddle for a much longer time than she does. I like it when someone lies on top of me. She doesn't want me on top of her chest during cuddling. She still cuddles with me, but she tells me when she's satisfied, and we stop.

A few months went by, and I noticed that she wasn't spending any less time with me; she was actually spending more. We would still call every evening when we didn't meet up in person, we would still joke around, and she still told me she loved me and did everything she could to show it to me. We also began trying out new stuff together, and playing games and watching stuff more often. We also still had plenty of physical intimacy with things like cuddling and kissing, which made me really happy.

I realized that I didn't feel like anything was missing from the relationship. I just needed her to show and tell me she loved me in the ways she normally did. Sure, I am still attracted to her that way, but it wasn't something that would make or break the relationship.

It's been years since she came out, and at this point, I never expect anything sexual. It happens rarely, and I always check in with her multiple times before and during. We stop at any point she tells me. There are quite a few hard boundaries about what is and isn't off limits, and I always keep them in mind. I would rather satisfy myself forever than make her uncomfortable, and she knows it.

It's been over 5 years and we are still going strong. I am hoping to ask her to marry me in the next few years, because honestly, I can't picture wanting anyone else by my side. She is kind, funny, beautiful, intelligent, and treats me well. I could never ask for anything more from a partner.

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing. I myself definitely lack knowledge of what it feels like from an allo's perspective, so this was very educational for me, but beyond that... You have no idea how much hope this gives me.

From you being aware of how much sex meant to you in the context of your relationship and still being fine without it, to just... Heck, even your therapist for not blaming her for the situation. Therapy is still very much, in my country at least, an area where the absence or lower levels of sexual attraction will be hastily labelled as something wrong physically or mentally, so... Yeah, the amount of relief I felt reading that, you have no idea. And I can only imagine how much your partner appreciates it too.

Honestly I teared up a bit reading this - I sincerely wish you guys all the best and I hope you have a bright future ahead! (Also fun fact, seems you guys have been together as long as my partner and I have, it's nice to be able to relate to that too hehe^^)

[a-world-of-whimsy-5]

Hey can i ask Thranduil and (human) f!reader smut? When f!reader can't stare at his eyes because she's very shy and insecure with her expression during *cough cough* Thank you!

I'm sorry about that one with Thranduil x f!reader cant-stare-at-his-face that i didn't addresed my 'smut rating'? Anyway🔥🔥

It's all good. Time for some more Thranduil smut. Because it's Thranduil. And smut. I'll stop now.

"The looking glass"

✵Pairing: Thranduil x Fem. Reader (Human / Second person POV)

✵Themes: Smut / Soft 

✵Warnings: Insecure / Shy reader | Kissing | Praise | Body worship | Mirror sex | Fingering (fem receiving)

✵Word count: 1.3k words

✵Summary: Thranduil comes up with a unique "solution" when he realises how shy his partner is in bed.

✵Rating: 🔥🔥| Minors DNI | 18+

Want to be tagged? Want to know the rules? Read all here.

If you liked this, please consider reblogging it.

Thranduil gripped your chin and forced you to meet his gaze. "Sweet starlight, why do you turn your face from me?"

You said nothing, your cheeks merely burning with embarrassment. Thranduil’s question should have surprised you, but it did not. Whenever you shared pleasures with the king, he would want to look into your eyes, and you would inevitably close them and turn away. Before this night, he did not ask why you did it, and now? Now he wanted some sort of explanation.

Of course, you had an explanation, just one, but that embarrassed you even more.

"Starlight?" Thranduil was not about to let this go. "Why do you look away?"

You hummed quietly and sat up, flushing when the king sat up with you. "I… umm… that is…" you stumbled over your words, your tongue tied up in knots. Thranduil studied you with barely disguised curiosity while you fidgeted with the hem of your robe. "The thing is… I…" you buried your face in your hands and sighed. "I am not sure you would like how I look when we… when we…"

Understanding dawned, and Thranduil smiled when he heard a muffled scream. "Starlight," he pulled your hands away from your face. "Is that what troubles you? That I might be repulsed by the expressions you make when making love?"

You nodded meekly, still too embarrassed to face him. Thranduil kept smiling and looked around, his gaze skimming over the chamber before it rested on something that caught his eye and piqued his interest—something that gave him an idea. "Stay here," he said, and rose out of bed.

You raise your head, wondering what he was up to. The answer presented itself soon enough with the sound of wood creaking. Thranduil had hefted a large silvered-looking glass, one that was taller than him, and brought it over, placing it at the foot of the bed with a soft thud.

"There," he huffed, dusting his hands before joining you in bed. "That should do nicely."

You studied your reflection in the shimmering glass and gulped. "Do nicely for what, my love?"

Thranduil smiled—a slow, wicked smile—before making himself comfortable next to you. "I want you to see, starlight," he breathed huskily, and he helped you to your knees, his arm around your waist. "I want you to see that there is nothing for you to hide. I want you to see how much I enjoy seeing you while I pleasure you—that there is nothing for you to be shamed by. Now, will you permit me to go further?"

The very idea of it—watching him in the reflection of that looking glass while he pleasured you—was just so shocking, so very sinful, and more than a little daunting. It made you nervous to watch him like this, to have him look up and watch you; you were unsure you could do it. Still, you could not keep averting your gaze every night, so you came to a decision and nodded. "Yes. You can go further."

Thranduil’s eyes blazed in the dim candlelight, his hands reaching over to your robe. You felt it—the heat of his breath against the nape of your neck when he moved slightly behind you, the warmth of his hands that radiated through your silks. And you kept still, so very still, your gaze fixed on the looking glass.

The king took his time, untying the belt of your robe and drawing it away, exposing what lay beneath. "You look like a painting, starlight," he murmured, his hands sliding over to your belly. "Your body is so perfect, like you had stepped out of a vision."

Helpless and stunned, you continued to keep still, unable to tear your eyes away from what you were witnessing in the looking glass. Thranduil’s hand moved up, over to your breasts, running his fingers over your nipples over and over again until they started to throb and ache, and harden beneath his touch.

"Do you see it, starlight, how your body trembles?" Thranduil whispered, his touch persistent and demanding.

Flushed and breathless, you did indeed see it—how the muscles of your belly fluttered, how your entire body quivered. And there was Thranduil, his eyes darkening with lust, the need in his gaze matching the growing desire in yours. You felt it, growing prickles of pleasure all over your body, heat slowly pooling at your core. You blushed and instinctively tried to look away, but Thranduil caught it.

"Look into the looking glass, starlight," he crooned, his hand gliding down to the apex of your thighs. "And focus on me. I want you to see how high I could take you."

You raised your eyes and found his locked on yours. Embarrassment slowly morphed into something else, something dark and primal, when he moved his hand over to your slit and found it already hot and wet. His fingers moved in a slow, delicate rhythm, and his name parted your lips in almost a sob. You still couldn’t look away, not when he possessed you the way he did. Your body started to move against him; your hands moved to rest over his, and his groan, guttural and harsh, felt so sweet to your ears. 

"That is it, starlight," he rasped, his voice already roughened, when your first moan spilled free. "Show me how much you desire this."

Thranduil watched, utterly spellbound, as you came undone in front of him, how you sagged into him, your moans and mewls slowly turning to pleas. Pleas for more, pleas for him to go faster, to take you higher. He wanted to incite and inflame, to break down your walls, and he was amply rewarded when your hands pressed over his, to guide him. He slid a finger inside the warmth of your sex, then another, moving them inside you, slowly growing drunk on your needy moans.

"Th-thranduil," you whimpered shakily, all sense of shame now long forgotten. The sight of the woman in that looking glass, her body yielding to pleasure of the acutest kind, her eyes darkening with each deft stroke, was too beautifully erotic, and you took great pleasure in seeing it—how he pleasured you, how he took you higher and higher, like he promised.

"Do you see, sweet starlight?" Thranduil cooed sweetly, "Do you see you have nothing to hide? How much I delight in seeing you this way?"

How true he was, and how foolish you felt. And how Thranduil looked on, with lust-filled eyes, as if he were feasting on what he was seeing. "I do see," you breathed, harsh and ragged, the muscles in your belly coiling as your release neared. 

"Keep looking, starlight," Thranduil ran his tongue over your neck even as you trembled and he felt a tightening around his fingers. You were close, so very close. "See how beautiful you are even now."

And you looked on with heavy-lidded eyes as a wave of bliss rose higher and higher, as a sweet, delightful pressure grew stronger and stronger, unceasing, until it felt like your body splintered, and Thranduil’s name came out like a desperate, wanton cry. Your entire body shook against his as you slumped into him, your breath coming out in shallow pants. Thranduil held onto you, moaning softly as your walls contracted around his fingers, pulling them deeper. His gaze cut to the looking glass and found you, looking right back at him, your lips curling into a deep and satisfied smile.

"You were right," you murmured, your hands still over his. You turned to the side and found his lips just over yours. "There was nothing for me to be shamed by."

Thranduil leaned in and kissed you, his body humming with unsated need. "Absolutely nothing," he said, before helping you lay back in bed. "And now, starlight, I hope you will indulge me, by letting me make incredibly thorough love to you this night."

No longer plagued by your fears, you smiled and welcomed him into his arms.

Tags: @shrasdust | @asianbutnotjapanese | @nupppuff | @ryantryan6969 | @lemonivall

[hazbinhazmeinachokehold]

Alastor + Ace reader

Summarcy: The reader comes out to Alastor, and he finds out some stuff about himself.

!!Not beta read and made when I was very tired!!

Alastor was very into older stuff. His love of Radio being the biggest showcase. But you weren’t sure how far that extended to his morals. Particularly lgbtq subjects. While, yes, he didn’t seem adverse to Charlie and Vaggie dating, or Angel’s comments that show sexual attraction only being towards men, they weren’t his friends. You had actually built a relationship with him. But he was around for the early 1900’s! They are kind of famous for not being accepting. Even if he was okay with gay people, ace people are still commonly seen as “broken.”

Despite all that you can live in the closet forever. Or, well you could. But recently the question of his stance or your... Existence was gnawing at your brain. You decided you had to bite the bullet and tell him. Worse that could happen? He’d kill you. But that's the absolute worst. Which was too extreme even for someone like Alastor. Probably.

You’d told him to go to your room in a few minutes to “discuss something important.” He opted to randomly teleport in.

“Am I early?” He questioned.

“Nope- well kinda. I expected you to be here later but it's better your here now. Cause I’d probably pass out in panic! Am I talking too much?” You let out a forced chuckle. You were visibly shaking. Just as Alastor was about to speak you interrupted him. “I’m asexual!” You blurted out with way less tact than you wanted.

He tilted his head like a dog, “A what?” Ah right. It just fully occurred to you that ace people weren’t really acknowledged back then. They’re barely acknowledged today. Miracle you found out really. If you hadn’t felt so confused about why you didn’t have sexual attraction to others despite that being the “norm” and looked it up, you wouldn’t know it was a thing. But we're getting too far from the subject at hand.

“Um asexual? It's a spectrum but the base is you don’t feel sexual attraction. Some people are sex-repulsed and hate even thinking about sex. Others are fine discussing it but don’t like having it. Some like having sex but again, no sexual attraction. But they are all still ace. But they can still date people!” You were rambling and you knew that.

In a rare display, Alastor seemed genuinely surprised and showed it. In an even rarer display, he voiced it, “There a word for this?” It was a question but it came out like a statement. Your eyes lit up.

“Wait, are you ace too?” You asked.

“It appears so my dear.” He wasn’t totally confident but that's okay, “I have some thinking to do though.”

“That's okay too.” You smiled as he left. This time he just used the door. Having Alastor find out he’s ace through you coming out was not the plan but hey, you aren’t complaining.

[radioapplerevue]

See a lot of questions scattered about regarding "Why do people even ship Lucifer or Alastor? They hate each other/Lucifer's married/Alastor's ace etc etc etc." And while I doubt most people are asking in good faith, I figured I'd give my answer anyway! In part because these two in conjunction with each other fascinate me and I want to talk about it.

First off, you have Alastor, this character whose whole shtick is trying to convince everyone around him all the time that he's the most mysterious and most dangerous person around. And... he's not. We know he's not. Hell, he's not even in tier 3 of "dangerous people in Hell." But it's very important to him that he is perceived that way, and he goes to great lengths to manufacture and maintain that image.

Then you have Lucifer, who is the most dangerous person in Hell, power-wise, by far. But he doesn't seem to give a shit about that at all. His power means little to him, he didn't want the throne, he doesn't do anything with this position that Alastor would do everything to have. Lucifer is a deeply broken individual whose only concern is his family, and he's not intimidated by Alastor in any way, and never will be.

So he was pretty much tailor-made for Alastor to hate. This guy who has everything Alastor wants, but doesn't give a shit about having it, who he can't scare. Ever. The only way he can get under Lucifer's skin is by digging into his emotional sore spots, and boy howdy does Lucifer have a lot of those. And here's the fun thing! Or one of the fun things, anyway. Most people, even in Hell, would never dare to try and upset Lucifer. Upset the King of Hell? That's suicide, right?

But Alastor knows it's not, because he sees two things right off the bat: one, Lucifer wouldn't do anything to hurt Charlie, and hurting Alastor would do that -- and two, it's just not in Lucifer's nature to do so. Surprising for the King of Hell, but nonetheless true. Lucifer's a showy guy, but he's not a violent guy -- even against Adam, he only toyed with him until Adam made the mistake of going directly for Charlie a second time. Needless to say, it takes a lot to make Lucifer get violent, and it's unlikely to be anything that only targets himself.

And thus sets the stage for what is already a really fun and interesting dynamic, and one that can become even more so with time. Because these are two characters who treat each other in a way that nobody else can or will. Alastor can poke and prod and peel back Lucifer's scars and peer directly at his insecurities. Lucifer can give as good as he gets and challenge Alastor and there's nothing Alastor can do to scare him off. In short, they can make each other confront things that right now just aren't likely for other people.

I like to think eventually, once they get over the initial "how dare he, this isn't allowed, I hate everything about this" stage, they begin to actually... enjoy it. Enjoy the back and forth, enjoy hitting the ball to each other's court, enjoy having someone around who won't back down. And Lucifer is, at his core, sweet. How unsettling it must be for Alastor, to see this extremely powerful man who is also just. Good. How over ten millennia of pain haven't changed that, even as they crumbled his heart into little pieces.

I think Lucifer would fascinate Alastor. And I think Alastor, with all his idiosyncrasies, and his ballsy manner of never backing down from a challenge, would fascinate Lucifer too. And there are so, so many ways you could go from there. Darker ways, softer ways. But there's so much potential, and I am finding it an absolute blast to explore.

As for the ace thing, hello, hi! I'm aroace. And on the sex repulsed side, even! I shouldn't have to reveal this in order for people to get off my back, but hey, there you have it. Now please stop expecting people to volunteer their sexual orientations just so you can be sure they have the... what? Right? To ship things? I enjoy this ship in all flavors. A lot of people have been taking the time to explore asexuality in their fanworks with Alastor, and it's been a delight to see! But in the end, fandom is a sandbox, and I don't care how you are smashing your dolls together as long as you're having fun. And if seeing them in a particular configuration is uncomfortable for you, there's nothing wrong with that, either... just back out, and move on to things more pleasant.

And goodness, don't go after real actual people in defense of fictional ones.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for setting a boundary on a Minecraft server that I didn’t want to interact with one of the admins after he quit my partner’s dnd campaign?

I (20, nonbinary) was on a lgbtq+ discord and had become friends with a trans guy (henceforth referred to as A) who was a minor. This was easy to forget as he made raunchy jokes, got drunk and high on call, and I have horrible memory issues (so I often opt to just remember people’s names and topics I should avoid around them via making little notes.)

We would very often end up in a vc together with others from the server, including our respective partners, chilling, playing games, sharing fun things we found. (His partner will henceforth be referred to as B, and mine as C) (I had known his partner before from another server and was happy to see them getting along then eventually getting together)

(C especially would always give advice like “if you’re drinking, make sure to eat/get some carbs, drinking on an empty stomach is bad!” Because they love researching medical effects to make their writing and worldbuilding feel more realistic)

There were a handful of incidents where I believe I was the asshole

I loved showing off games and musicals to people, and this has the unfortunate effect of sometimes unintentionally saying words that anger people.

Incident 1) I was playing a game and mindlessly saying location names- and I got a dm- I pause to glance at it- and I got a message saying “hey remember [redacted] is A’s deadname and he’s uncomfortable that you keep saying it”. I pause, make a mental note of “but. It. Wasn’t directed at him?” Then continue playing, dodging saying the name for the rest of my time showing the game.

Incident 2) I was showing off a musical I like- and there’s a cute scene where a character suggests a name for another character, saying that they don’t need it anymore, and it just so happened to be A’s deadname again.

Incident 3) I was playing Sea of Thieves solo- and struggling. I’d been hit by lightning, and now was being attacked by a shark. A and B were making fun of the fact I had slipped into an accent out of sheer panic so I (enraged and not thinking at all) said “I’ll name the damn shark after you, fillet and gut it!” (A really likes sharks. I also like sharks but apparently not as much as him)

(I apologized for this on call later, saying that I was emotional and mad, and if I’d been thinking I wouldn’t have said that. I also apologized for the previous incident about the deadname)

A and B had also joined C’s dnd campaign alongside another one of our mutual friends, D (who did not leave the campaign, but that’s not important right now). I have reason to believe C told the others they couldn’t be either of the two classes I said my character thought they were, but I don’t know. Things went great (or so I thought) we got some plot trails (one connected to the race of my character, one being D’s character’s family) and everything seemed fine- A was flirting with a lot of the enemies and NPCS (C found the character arts via google images and unfortunately ‘attractive’ seems to be a main character design commonality)

Then one day, I woke up to check the campaign discord because of a ping and noticed both A and B had left the server and there was no new messages- confused, I hopped into call with C- who explained that A had dropped a long list of accusations about Myself and C, essentially insulting us and accusing us of things like ‘sending NSFW things to kids’, ‘acting like the victim’, ‘naming a character A’s deadname’, ‘DM favouritism’, and a whole bunch of other things. I was- shocked.

(A also apparently messaged D and said something like “sorry for ending the campaign like that, if you want to use your character you can always write with me!” And got angry when D said they didn’t leave the campaign.)

(C is also a generally sex-repulsed Asexual. They were forcing themself to become more comfortable with it because of A’s raunchy jokes)

This was followed by some harassment from A and B.

A tried publicly calling out C on social media (which C had only used to make a single post sharing something they had made for someone’s art/design) for “sending nsfw things to minors” and on another platform for “being a fake ass bitch”, as well as both of them heckling a new haircut I’d been nervous but excited to try and get for years and just figured out how to ask for (responses such as “omg no ew why would you do that”), as well as A saying “no I don’t” a picture I shared of C and I going to see a musical together with the caption “you wish you were here!” (All were shared and reacted to publicly on the discord server)

(To be fair about the haircut- the stylist had cut part of it a little too short and it made my face look especially chubby)

This is where I start to feel less like the asshole

So I went on the discord for the Minecraft server and said “hey, I don’t feel comfortable interacting with A after the allegations they’ve been making”. A immediately got defensive and angry about me saying “allegations” and kicked me from the discord before I could defend myself (and C).

I explained the situation to the admin of the server we’d met on, who also owned the Minecraft server, and apologized to them that they had to moderate. Both A and I lost our mod privileges on the discord, and I also found out A had been given multiple “cease and desist”s for… saying/sharing vulgar/nearly nsfw things on the discord before. And they did it again. The reason they were never banned or kicked was that the admin had made it in hopes that A would make friends.

Now. To a part that still horrifies me.

A legitimately found out C’s mom’s number, and called her to insist that C sent NSFW things to minors. (C suspects that they got it from a time C called the police out of genuine concern for A who hadn’t responded to any messages in around a day)

C also told me that the most they had sent A was like. Attractive anime guys from the first page of google images because C really liked big anime man chests. A apparently sent C full on p*rn once.

The problem is- I feel like I was the asshole- even though most of the “incidents” were accidents because I try to not remember someone’s deadname because- it’s? Not their name anymore? And it didn’t help that I genuinely do not remember being told it was their deadname until after incident 1.

Was I the Asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[harmslength]

(Mostly) NSFW Headcanons - Part II

Disclaimer: Slight spoilers ahead so be warned. Just covering movies I have seen before or know a decent amount about the character. Overall, just my own personal opinions. This is just for shits and giggles so feel free to disagree. I’m also very aware that I’m being a hater rn.

Red Eye (2005) | Wes Craven - Jackson Rippner

• FREAKY ASS DUDE

• probably would learn everything about you before asking you out

• mean asf, like definitely the type to pick on you and call you a cry baby

• loves, loves, loves roleplay, specifically: CNC (Burglar x Sleeping Victim)

• big on humiliating you, probably the type to hold your head down while giving head. Likes his balls being sucked..

• feral mf, loves to use his teeth (ankle biter energy) and eats pussy like a champ [insert slurping noises]

Perriers Bounty (2009) | Ian Fitzgibbon - Michael McCrea

• top contender for best in bed

• grimey little dude.. but hey, bums know how to lay pipe like it’s their god given purpose

• not attached to any particular fetish or kink just very experimental and kinky

• 3 words: tongue in ass. There I said it. Specifically from the back, he will stick his tongue in places god hasn’t even seen.

Broken (2012) | Rufus Norris - Mike Kiernan

• spontaneous and sensual. Probably an exhibitionist lowkey

• can be a bit selfish at times, but definitely makes it a priority to make you cum.

• could definitely see him having a thing for stockings or thigh highs

Inception (2010) | Christopher Nolan - Robert Fischer

• if a boy was a princess it would be him

• DADDY ISSUES

• all bark no bite, he’s a bottom if I’ve ever seen one. Loves being told what to do and how to take it

• big fan of praise and humiliation

• will dom at times but definitely is not his preference

Watched the Detectives (2007) | Paul Soter - Neil Lewis

• Puppy

• horny teenager vibes, probably would fuck you in his office while your bent over his desk

• loves roleplay but in the vanilla way like: cop x criminal, stepsiblings 🤭, strangers, Bonny and Clyde. Just overall loves recreating cheesy pornos.

• loves when you’re all natural down there

• definitely likes to think he’s the one in charge but you would absolutely wear the pants in the relationship

• whiny asf, likes to whimper and pout. Big on theatrics.

Breakfast on Pluto (2005) | Neil Jordan - Patricia Kitten Braden

• the queen herself 👸

• another top contender for best sexual partner

• pillow princess, loves to be taken care of but will absolutely do the same for you. Definitely giving switch vibes

• super tender and sensual, could definitely see a friends to lovers trope here

• LOVES to tease and loves sexual tension. Wandering hands and subtle glances kind of shit

Sunshine (2007) | Danny Boyle - Robert Capa

• needy little freak but in a subtle way

• you would probably have to make the first move

• would probably zone out during sex ngl

• classic fan of gripping hips and neck kisses, relatively vanilla but open to exploring

• nonchalant lover but good bf overall

The Dark Knight Rises (2012) | Christopher Nolan - Jonathan Crane

• say it with me now— Mommy Issues

• don’t be afraid to join in— daddy issues

• probably grew up with his grandma or two loving parents that he despises deeply

• sick little gremlin, probably into sounding or golden showers

• two words: doggy style 😎

• he’s a switch, but mostly doms because he gets off on the thought that he’s better than you

• big on quickies, hump and dump kind of dude. Casual sex, but not super big on multiple partners

• so repulsed by the thought of sex that either the utter crippling shame of it turns him on so much that he acts like a deranged animal

• or is so repulsed that it hinders him and only does it when absolutely necessary

28 Days Later (2002) | Danny Boyle - Jim

• Jim, Jim, Jim — I love him with my whole heart and my whole pussy

• hear me out.. probably the best sex out of everyone HEAR ME OUT

• this man is DEVOTED okay!! Bro would take out an army base of 20 men just to get a lick of pussy (more so, a gentle sensual kiss, shared between two troubled lovers)

• you know he’ll eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Probably would bring his own bib and cutlery js 🙄

• not overly kinky, in fact probably a bit inexperienced, but satisfaction is guaranteed.

[moonstruckme]

hiiii love ♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱

i saw your post aksing about request for anyone other than the marauders and i was wondering if i could request some asexual comfort :o with whatever character you think is the most fitting !!

i was thinking maybe reader coming out to them and being very nervous about it since they're a sex repulsed asexual??

if your uncomfortable with this request pls just ignore this, i just really enjoy your content and am always looking for some ace comfort hehe

hope ypu have a great day, love ya <33

Hi lovely, thank you for requesting! Sorry for the wait, I tried re-writing this a couple of different times and tbh I'm still not very happy with it (which has nothing to do with you or your request, I just couldn't seem to write it the way I wanted to) <3

cw: mention of boner, reader experiences uncomfy feelings around Eddie's arousal, and lastly I’ve been told that sex-repulsed asexuals can still enjoy kissing as a sensual or romantic experience but I apologize if that’s inaccurate ! 

Eddie Munson x fem!reader ♡ 937 words

You like kissing Eddie, but you don’t get lost in it the way he does. You can feel him curtailing himself, turning his grip from ravaging back to gentle each time he realizes you’re only tracing the curve of his jaw with your forefinger, trailing a hand down his shoulder, twirling a piece of his hair. 

He keeps his kisses soft the way he guesses, rightly, you like them. Slow and sweet explorations of your mouth without any of the heat you know he nonetheless wants. His hands splay over your back, pulling you closer to him, and you like being closer to him. 

You don’t like what he brings you closer to meet. 

It’s not Eddie’s fault, you know. He can’t control the bulge pressing into your leg, and even if he could he couldn’t know how you feel about it. It’s revulsion mixed with anxiety, dread heavying it all until it sits low in your stomach where you’ve been told the heat is for most everyone else. 

You tense a bit. Eddie takes it for enthusiasm, his hold on you tightening. And you feel like crying, because in a minute it’s all going to be over. You’re going to have to tell him no.

You like Eddie. You like Eddie so, so much, love him even. You don’t want to end things. You’ve been putting off even thinking about it, the inevitability of this conversation and the certainty of its outcome. Eddie is kind, he’s been patient with you, but you’ve let him think you’re just setting a slow pace, and that sex is on the horizon. He doesn’t ever push you, because to him it’s an eventuality. 

Tears sting your eyes. You’re so in your head you almost don’t acknowledge them until one escapes, catching in your lashes. You blink, and the next slips down your nose, transferring to Eddie’s cheek. 

His lashes part like they’re stuck together with syrup, reluctant. His eyes meet yours where you’re already watching him, and you both pull back at the same time. 

“Whoa,” he says, voice rough around the edges as you sit up on his lap to wipe under your eyes, “what the fuck? What’s wrong?” 

“Sorry,” you tell him, croaky for your own reasons. “God, sorry.” 

You move a few inches back on his lap, into a safe zone just above his knees, and Eddie sits up too. “Shit, am I really that bad?” he asks. 

You laugh a little, but it’s too close to the truth. You tent your fingertips over the bridge of your nose as fresh tears blur your vision. 

“Hey,” he sits up, looking somewhere between bemused and panicky as he sets both hands on your thighs, rubbing in an attempt to soothe you, “hey, what’s going on? Did I do something?” 

“No,” you say, though that’s not exactly honest. “It’s not you.” That sounds like the beginning of a cliche breakup. You make yourself say it outright. “I don’t want to have sex.” 

Eddie’s hands still on your legs, his eyebrows rising so sharply it makes his eyes look even huger than normal. “Wait,” he says, “that’s what’s got you so wound up? That’s fine, baby, we don’t have to. Shit, I wasn’t trying to.” 

“No.” You shake your head, face hot beneath your fingertips. “I mean ever.” Eddie’s head tilts. “I don’t…I don’t have sex. I don’t like to.” 

Eddie’s hands remain on your thighs, but they ease back as he sits up. You understand now why some people deliver news in letters or phone calls. You wish you could give your boyfriend the time and space he needs to pick the words to break up with you. You don’t mean to make it hard on him. He nods again, again, and again, brows bunching tighter with each one. 

“Ookay.” He draws out the first sound, nodding again like that’s that. “That’s okay.” 

“I’m sorry,” you say again. It’s easier, now, your tears slowing since you’ve ripped off the band-aid. “I wasn’t trying to lead you on, I just…” You just fully were leading him on, letting him think there’d be more when there wouldn’t. “I know this isn’t what anyone wants.” 

Eddie’s mouth pulls. “Well, I’ve got bad news.”

You flinch internally. “Yeah?”

He nods, uncharacteristically grave. “I’m, like, super fucking into you.” 

You pause in wiping under your eyes. “Huh?” 

“Yeah.” Eddie shrugs. “I mean, obviously this was some way to get me to break up with you, but you’re going to have to try harder than that. This isn’t gonna work.”

“Eddie, I’m serious.” 

“So am I, sweetheart.” He hooks his hands under your knees, tugging you closer on his lap. You find it’s a comfortable place to be, now that everything has calmed down. Eddie takes your hands, pulling them away from your face and looking at you intently. “I like you a lot, you know? This may be hard to believe, but you’re more than just a piece of ass to me.” You crack a smile at that, and he mirrors it. “So if this is your way of trying to get me to break up with you, you’re going to have to think of something else. Or just do it yourself, coward.” 

“I don’t want to break up,” you say quietly. 

He raises his eyebrows. “Seriously? Because it really seems like you’re trying to convince me to.” 

You shrug. Your face is cooling now, but Eddie’s hands are warm around yours. “I thought you’d want to.” 

“Yeah, well.” He makes a face at you. “Give me a little more credit next time, huh?” 

[lightfeltmemories]

mithrun nsfw alphabet please

mithrun: nsfw alphabet

note: mithrun is basically canonically a sex repulsed asexual because of the demon taking away his desires, but then i realized, hey! i could just refer to the version of him before that happened! also his younger version is so finer anyways so a win is a win, this is also a request from someone on ao3! shoutout to them!

tw: none so far

minors, ageless or blank blogs will be blocked if seen liking, reblogging or commenting on this post.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Mithrun tries his best to be there for you, he's not the best at aftercare but he's also not terrible, he wants to show you how much he loves you and sometimes it's a bit hard to.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) on him, his body in general, while on you, your neck, he has a bit on an affinity for making love bites and hickeys, but they're usually very small and can't be spotted that easily.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) his cum has sweet undertones, not sugary sweet but sweet enough to where the taste is bearable, it's slightly thick and texture and he cums just a bit to where you can clean it easily.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) i imagine him as the type to be a switch, he does not mind having his ass licked or fingered, and when he's bottoming, his moans are soft and sweet.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) even after the demon removed his desires, he was a complete and utter virgin before he met you, and was a nervous wreck the first time he did it, but over the years of the two of you continuing he started to get better at keeping his composure... and lasting longer.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) he started to like the butterfly (doing it on the edge of the bed, your legs in the air, as he stands), but missionary and even doggy style are fine too.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) oh that man is serious and down with the business, leave the humorous moments for aftercare.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) you'd be surprised how much hair he grows down there, give it about 2 1/2 weeks and it's a white bush down there, if you tell him to trim or shave, he'll do it, though.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) he can be romantic, you just have to tell him what to do, he doesn't have much experience on romance either so some words have to be exchanged.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) it sounds crazy, but he hasn't ever had that urge to until you came, he has only ever did it once when he was in a state of desperation for your body, outside of that very moment, he hasn't ever had the interest in pleasuring himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) he has a slight.... ok i'm lying here, when you're on top and you talk him through his orgasam, it turns him into putty in seconds, he's also kind of a brat when he wants to bottom, he won't put up with brattiness from you though, not pretty fair.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) in complete privacy.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) talk to him in a sweet, seductive voice as you're starting foreplay, tell him that he's a good boy, and that he's doing a good job at obeying.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) not a fan of hard kinks such as bdsm or degradation.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) he turns into complete putty when you're on the giving end, and he has little experience with giving as well, so, oral is kind of a gamble, only a little practice gets us so far and before his desires being taken away he started to get a little better.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) he's a slow type of guy, not painfully slow, but slow enough to make things last just a bit longer.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) he doesn't do them, nor does he see the premise, he feels that sex should be a sacred act, not some one two you're done.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) realizing he was a switch was kind of the risk for him and the only risk he's willing to take.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) he can last surprisingly long, a couple rounds should do, he doesn't want to drag anything out.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) the two of you owned a couple toys: an anal plug, and a strap on for him, after his desires were taken away.... they remain untouched for when one day, his desires come back.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) he doesn't really tease you, but you tease him, leaving a cute, whining mess, while you pump into his ass, refuse to let him cum.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) he's not too loud, when he's top he's quiet or keeping sounds at a minimum, but when he's a bottom, he moans pretty loud, he can't help but yell as his ass is being filled.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) his pull out game is... kind of weak, so he ends up accidentally cumming inside of you on more than one occasion.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) he's a grower, not a shower, he's a good 3 inches when flaccid while he grows at least 5 or 6 inches more when hard.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) currently non-existent, but was still pretty low beforehand as well.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) he doesn't always fall asleep quickly, but when you two go a little more than 3 or so rounds, he's out cold.

[llamagoddessofficial]

Hey llama :>

So I think you answered a question once about the aggre boys’……. ““““Packages””””, but I was curious about how they actually act in bed…? 👀

Couldn't help but do this one. I don't usually do NSFW (I'm a sex repulsed ace), but this is fun concept ksjdf

18+ only under the cut. Please respect my wishes.

Sans: Not gonna lie, he's goofy as hell in bed.

He can definitely be serious, if that's what you want. He's by no means only silly. But left to his own devices, he's going to be doing a lot of 'ruining' the mood with puns. You'll both be laughing at everything; the jokes, the whole situation, the inevitable sounds that bodies make. It's all very silly and lighthearted.

Red: He's good. And that's something of an understatement. He's very experienced, very kinky, pretty much down for everything... so he can do anything you want him to do, doll~

His comfort zone is firmly the exciting stuff. He doesn't typically do anything soft, because then he has to actually think about his feelings. But... if you're with him long enough, and he's certain his love is reciprocated, you might eventually catch him in a mushy mood and unlock Sweet & Emotional Red.

Skull: Usually, Skull doesn't have those kinds of feelings at all. He had more urgent things to worry about, Underground, and after a while his mind kinda just... shut down that part of him. He still gets very strong romantic desires, love coming straight from the Soul, but his fear of hurting/scaring you keeps sexual feelings tightly locked up.

But if you express interest, initiate with him, and can convince him you won't be frightened... well. He's got a whole lot of pent up urges suddenly coming out all at once. You won't be walking in the morning.

(Don't worry, he can carry you; aftercare is his favourite part.)

[kalfui]

as someone who's aroace myself, I...really do not like all the sexualized content of Alastor. or the romantic content tbth. it is deeply off-putting to me. like idk, yeah I get that ace people can still have sex, that aro people can still be in romantic relationships--but as someone who's sex-repulsed AND romance-repulsed, it's. uh. idk, it made me happy to think of Alastor as the same. (my favorite joke reason I've seen for why Alastor vanished for seven years is "Vox confessed to him and Alastor is so romance-repulsed that he had to leave for seven years to get over it." bc SAME. I know it's not canon but I like pretending it is.)

I do kinda ship him in a QPR way with some characters (after he finally figures out that he is aroace), bc I was in a QPR for a long time (with someone who wasn't even aroace himself) and people so often just...didn't get it, didn't get that it was platonic but also different than "just a friendship", and so I am projecting my experiences on Alastor a bit lmao. putting my favorite aroace character into my own lived experiences. Alastor can experience the same frustration I did as everyone around him is like "wdym you're not dating, you hold hands and cuddle, there's no other interpretation of that!"

but like...most of the shippy content I see written or drawn with Alastor is romantic and/or sexual. at best, if it even acknowledges that he's aroace, it's just to justify the shipping with "well SOME aroace people are romance-positive/sex-positive!" people could, at the very least, take this opportunity to explore and try to understand QPRs, relationships that don't have sex or romance and are platonic but are also not "just friendship", but I see like. almost none of that

I'm.. completely tired of the aroace people can still date stuff. Hey, if you're gonna ship him and erase representation, at least admit that you're taking away a canon part of him, and don't act like it's canon he'd date or have sex, he is most likely sex repulsed and romance indifferent or repulsed. The fact that I see people debating this is absolutely crazy to me, do people need everything spelled out for them? Did they need to write Alastor looking disgusted by some sexual remark someone makes and then looking into the camera and saying how he feels repulsed by sex, and how he doesn't care for romance or doesn't like it either?

I'm not too familiar with QPRs since I only found out about them some time ago, but I've seen people say that he's in a QPR with this character or that character and then just, write sexual stuff? I don't know too much about QPRs like I said, but I'm not sure that's how it's supposed to be? I mean, there's a reason it's platonic, and it seems that a lot of the time people are just using QPRs to not get attacked when they ship Alastor with someone.

[scretladyspider]

saying that the aces who are sex favorable/neutral/have sex are treated like the only “valid” aces is just

wow

…no

I have thoughts and experiences and thoughts based on those experiences

here I go

sex repulsed and averse aces treat sex favorable/neutral aces like we’re just trying to appeal to allosexuals, like talking about our experiences is inherently harmful, like our very existence is harmful because they get told that somethings wrong with them and as a result become very defensive of their aceness — but instead of taking that anger at being constantly dismissed out on dismantling allonormativity and compulsory heterosexuality, the framework and expectations that harm them… they say that if you say “hey I’m an ace and I have sex, we all have different relationships with having sex, some of us don’t, some of us do”, that we’re saying that we’re the better aces and are going out of our way to appeal to allosexuals at the cost of how our sexuality intertwines with our personhood, that we’re trying to appeal to allosexuals, and it might make allosexuals think maybe they can have sex with any ace actually, even tho we never told them that and specified it was just our experience (because we all know all allosexuals are mindless sex machines who only think about sex and are never capable of respecting boundaries or asexuality, no sexless relationship between an allo and an ace could or has ever healthily existed) (that in parentheses was sarcasm)

allosexuals treat sex favorable/neutral aces like we’re not really ace, like by having, or god forbid, enjoying sex, we are invalidating our sexuality, like asexuality and celibacy are the same thing and therefore we’re not really ace, and any acceptance comes at the price of respect and understanding of who we actually are, and (often) don’t accept us for who we are because “you’re not like those other people”, so to be acceptable means again paying the price of constant insults, invalidation, and depending on the situation, much worse stuff actually

so we’re left in this weird place where we know personally it’s important to talk about it because we didn’t know what was wrong with us for so long but then when we do, our own community acts like saying “I exist too” out loud is purposely harmful to them, like we’re trying to hurt them, like it’s personal and vindictive and not just “I also exist, just differently from how you exist”

we go to allosexuals and say “hey I exist” and are met with “no you don’t” “not really” “oh, you just want to invade the queer community” “you wanna be oppressed” “you need to stop taking antidepressants” “you’re just a woman/feminine” etc etc, and depending on who/where we come out it may not be safe, and may even be traumatizing if it goes badly, a risk that is always taken when coming out, but surely our sex favorability is just to try to appeal to allos, that couldn’t be who we are

but if allosexuals who are acephobic start to loudly say “oh asexuals just want the right to not have sex, that’s not a sexuality”, THEN all of the sudden it’s “that’s not what asexuality is, some aces have sex!” and the same it’s sex repulsed/averse aces saying it when the community is being put down, all of the sudden we’re important and our stories matter and our perspectives matter and help challenge misconceptions about asexuality

which is it?

Why are we only allowed to say we exist when asexuality as a whole is being put down?

why is the rest of the time if we say “hey some aces have sex, we exist too” harming you, but then when acephobes take a swing at all of us, we’re suddenly important and it’s good to acknowledge the spectrum of asexuality and then it’s okay to say there’s a spectrum of sexual attraction and of sex favorability

why are you mad at us, not the structures and people and sex Ed and purity culture that says none of us are allowed to exist?

if we can’t fit in with other aces and are only valid in the eyes of sex repulsed/averse aces when we can be used to prove a point, and we can’t fit in with allos because we’re invalidated and treated like we don’t exist while still having an ace experience

where the fuck are we supposed to go?

you’re mad at the wrong thing; you’re mad at the wrong people

aces who have sex, aces who like sex, aces who rarely/conditionally experience sexual attraction, are not out to hurt you by saying “I do also exist”

we are here with you trying to find a place to fit in

I’d like to think you’d understand that but it seems like there’s a part of the sex repulsed/averse ace community determined to lock the door on a part of your own community

and I dunno

it just puts a bad taste in my mouth

[children-of-moss]

Reminder that Alastor is shown to be sex repulsed and most likely romance repulsed

And hey, platonic, familial, queer platonic and one sided relationships exist !

A relationship doesn't need to be sexual or romantic to be interesting and worth exploring/depicting !

Aroace people are very much queer people and our identities as well as the representation we get in media should be respected as such !

- From your local slightly pissed off aroace

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Hey everyone.

Maybe some of you have noticed that my writing's been super sporadic since like June (if you haven't that's very okay) but I just wanted to write a little bit about what's been happening in my life because it's had a pretty big impact on my writing.

It turns out that I'm actually ace.

So, if you happen to notice an uptick in me writing fics with ace characters who still get to be loved, I'm just trying to process a thing.

Please feel free to skip the rest of this post if you're not interested in the harrowing journey of self discovery. I am absolutely giving too much information about my life, I'm just really working at processing everything and I'm hoping writing it out will help. And honestly, there have been some beautiful souls in the Tumblr community who have given me some beautiful encouragement (including but not limited to @basicallyahedgehog who answered an anon ask I sent them the other day with so much kindness and encouragement because I'd bawled my eyes out about one of their fics featuring ace Harry/Draco.).

(Anyway. If you want to read a ramble about all of the things I'm struggling with at the present moment, I'm gladly accepting advice and kindness at this time. Please read below the cut and chime in if you have anything hopeful to add.)

For most of my life I've pretty comfortably called myself a "picky bi" and in the past couple of years have labeled myself "demisexual" because I'm not sex repulsed; I've had sex, it was fine/good when it's with someone who I'm in love with. I moved on from the labeling, content with the label I'd given myself and whatnot.

It's been a minute (read: 8+ years) since I've been in a relationship that got to the point where I've considered having sex but I didn't really think all that much of it. In retrospect, I think this is largely because I've grown a lot in terms of self respect and honoring my own autonomy. Somewhere around 25, I started saying no when I didn't want something and if the other person didn't respect that decision they were not worth my time.

Anyway, it didn't really occur to me that perhaps going nearly a decade without thinking about/wanting to have sex with anyone (and without experiencing even vague aesthetic attraction to someone with only the odd exception here and there- some of you saw that post a couple of months ago, apparently just having the thought that someone is pretty isn't the same as attraction that allo people experience- so that panic now seems pretty unnecessary. It literally boggles my mind that people can just see a person they've never met and want to have sex with them. Anyway, I'm digressing.) Apparently, it's not a common occurrence even among demisexuals to go that long without thinking about sex if you have emotional intimacy with people (which I do). So fast forward to June when I went to a conference for lgbtqia christians and started listening to people talk about attraction.

To say that my experience of attraction and desire for sex is profoundly different than that of nearly all of the people that I talked to at that conference would be an understatement.

After that conference, I started talking to a lot of friends about their experience of attraction and their desire for sex (eventually this also included some new friends who are demi/ace) and have been a little flabbergasted by their responses. Suddenly, in light of the fact that my body doesn't interpret a lot of things the way that other peoples' seem to, a lot of things started to make sense.

I've been called a flirt (at best, and a [cock]tease in more unpleasant moments) my entire life because I always want to give people gentle physical affection; I love holding hands, touching people on the arm while we're having a conversation, playing with peoples' hair, hugging, leaning, the list is long- none of those things have ever felt like flirting to me. Every one of those actions was the end in itself, there was no artifice in my touches, no desire or even thought for more, but APPARENTLY that is not the thing that happens in a lot of peoples' bodies. It is incomprehensible to me that simple, affectionate touches are not something that everyone just wants to do to anyone that they harbor platonic affection for. This also applies to the way that I communicate with people. Again, I've been called a flirt, been told that I'm intense, been told that I'm trying to 'steal' peoples' boy/girl friends simply by being friends with them. APPARENTLY, showing "too much" interest in other peoples' lives and hobbies is flirting. APPARENTLY, getting really excited for people who are excited and doing cool things is flirting. Because (or so I have been told) the emotional energy I expend is too much to just be friends; surely, I have another angle.

Next, in terms of attraction, I experience attraction to beautiful things in nature in the same way that I experience it to people. If I'm being honest, nature makes my heart sing in a way that people usually don't. I can get caught up in the beauty of the world; the vastness of the ocean for literal hours, in the majesty of the mountains, the strength of trees, the way water carves a path through the rocks in glens and waterfalls. The world takes my breath away, it makes me weep just to exist in nature. Apparently, this in not everyone's experience of nature and apparently, many people who want to have sex don't think that trees, or bodies of water, or mountains have as much (or more, in my humble opinion) appeal than humans.

It's come to my attention that even the way that I have experienced heart break from relationships where I was "in love" and having sex is not the way that people typically experience heartbreak. All heart break feels the same to me; grieving leaving a job, grieving the death of a loved one, grieving horrible things that happen to my students, grieving the loss of friendships, and grieving the loss of a relationship feel like the same heart break. (Like some of those things hurt worse than others but the heart break over the loss of a relationship isn't worse.) One of my friends mentioned that I grieve the passing of summer into autumn (I fucking hate the winter) like the loss of a relationship and I wish I could say that she is wrong. I've been told my whole life that I experience my emotions too big and I just can't help but wonder if there is some sort of correlation there, but I digress.

The literal dream for my life is to have someone who wants to get in the car or on a plane and travel with me. Someone who I can make coffee for in the mornings and who wants to cook me dinner at night. Someone who wants to sit on the couch after a long day at work and talk about nothing, or watch a show, or just exist together. Someone who wants to dance with me in the kitchen, and hold my hand while we walk, who wants to smile at me while I ramble about nature. I want someone who wants to hold me when I cry, who wants to listen to me when I'm mad, someone who will remind me to take a break when I'm working too hard. The only thing that I actually want from a partner is just someone to do life with. It's not that I'm opposed to sex, it's just that it literally doesn't matter.

(So many things in past relationships, so many fights, so many of the reasons that I was left, so many things that I JUST DIDN'T UNDERSTAND make sense now. Or at least they're starting to.)

So. In the process of understanding this complete fuckery, of trying to put all of the pieces that haven't quite made sense in my life into order, in the end of July my best friend told me that she's in love with me.

And on the one hand, I'm fucking over the moon, delighted, honored, speechless, crazy-happy. She's literally the best person I have ever known, she's the kindest, sweetest, most loyal, loving, amazing human being to ever exist. She loves me so well, so completely, like all of the things that I said above that are my dream; that is her. We road trip together, and she lets me braid her hair, and we snuggle on the couch and watch movies, and we talk for hours (literally hours, when we road trip we go for 7-10 days at a time and I like do not shut the fuck up for more than like 5 minutes total the entire day and she loves me; loves listening to me talk about whatever is in my brain), and when I'm going on and on about how pretty things are in nature she looks at me like I'm the pretty thing (when I say, 'oh my gosh. that mountain, tree, lake, ocean, etc. is so beautiful.' she literally says 'you're so beautiful' and I am deceased, my heart can't take it, I can't fucking stop smiling- I don't even want to), and she lets me info dump about whatever I'm learning, and she loves my brain and my stupid adhd, and she plays me sappy love songs and sings them to me (and she sings in my car, sings to me even though she doesn't sing in front of people) and and and... she makes me feel like I'm good. She makes me feel like I'm all of the things that other people have said I'm not.

And I am constantly terrified of hurting her.

There are a variety of reasons we're not planning on having sex (partially because it's not really something that I want) that I'm not going to get into but I'm afraid of being what I've been to other people. I'm afraid of her feeling like I'm pushing her buttons because I just always want to be touching her (very platonically) like just having our shoulders bumping while we walk, or putting my head on her shoulder when we're on the couch, or letting our elbows press against one another while we're in the car. BUT what happens in our bodies when we're touching like that is really different. Like I described above, for me any type of touch is really the end goal in and of itself (if I'm braiding her hair, it's safe to assume that that is all I want to be doing. If I'm leaning against her on the couch, that too is what I'm wanting.) But that's not always how her body wants to interpret touch, even if she logically knows that I'm not intentionally teasing (she would never say that she feels like I'm trying to tease her, for the record, it's just the easiest way for me to articulate what it feels like could be happening).

And I love her so much, like so much; I'd do anything for her but it's not the same kind of love that she feels for me. By which I mean that she is just really gay and actively attracted to me emotionally/physically but for me if she started dating someone else, I'd be actually fine with that. If she was dating/having sex with someone I wouldn't be jealous, as long as we still get to be friends. (And maybe her dating would necessarily change the dynamic of our friendship and that would be really hard but that's a different mental exercise.) This isn't the way that she feels.

She is so special and important to me but even the way that we are aware of the other person's presence is different. For me, if I'm in a group of people and she's there, I'm aware of that on some level but it's not at the forefront of my mind. My brain is always sort of 'triaging' the people around me when they're my friends; who's being too quiet? who has been going through a rough patch with work/family, etc? who has an exciting new thing they need someone to squeal about with them? who hasn't been included in the conversation in too long? (see the paragraph above about flirting. haha.) She's there but she often isn't the first person I'm thinking about because I talk to her almost every day, I get to love her every day, and odds are good that we either drove together or will talk on the phone our way home from the event- I see the other people there less, so my brain just prioritizes them since I have less time to love them. (This is actually really good, healthy progress for me in terms of healthy attachment and not forming a codependent relationship. My therapist and I are really proud of the work I'm doing, but I'm digressing again.) For her, though, she always knows exactly where I am. It is work for her to pay attention to other conversations, work to be in a different room. In most situations, I am the person she defaults to thinking about and wanting to be near and she has to actively choose other things if she wants to. (And I don't mean to sound like an absolute asshole, it's not like I ignore her or anything, and I'm delighted for us to be in the same conversations, it's just a different way that we engage with the world.)

I love her so much. And I'm afraid of messing everything up. Of hurting her. Of asking too much of her without asking for anything at all. I try to let her be the one to initiate physical touch (or I ask first) because sometimes it's too hard on her body and that's fair. I feel frustrated with the different ways that we experience love for each other because the way that she loves me feels so good and safe to me and it makes me feel so happy. I'm afraid that the way that I love her doesn't feel as nice for her, that it feels less than, that the way I express my love and devotion isn't as good. I'm afraid that the way she loves me is going to wear her out. She always says she knows I love her just as much as she loves me, it's just different. She says she's okay, she says that the way I love her is good for her and she's happy. But it's hard to believe.

I'm afraid that she'll fall in love with someone else who can love her the way she loves and I won't matter to her anymore (partially because that's been my experience of people who have said they're in love with me). I'm afraid.

Is it even fair to entertain the idea of maybe having a whole life together? (we're already entertaining the ideas, already daydreaming about 'what if we lived together', where we're going on our next road trip, etc. And I'm terrified.) Is it asking her to give up too much? I would spend the rest of my life with her. I'd be good and kind to her, I would love her with so much tenderness. But is it enough? Am I enough with just the things that I have to give? Is it actually possible for someone to love me for just me and not for the ways that I could contort myself to be something I'm not?

I recognize the irony in what I'm asking. I know that that's what all of these hundreds of stories I've written here say, it's what I want to believe. But is it even possible when it's reality?

I don't know. Does anyone have any good advice? Any ace people out there living with a person who's in love with them? Does anyone have something that's lasted?

[multifandomfanatic02]

Hot Take But

>>> For those of you who are pissed about the ace representation in Hazbin Hotel being botched because of nsfw artists and shippers.

⬇️⬇️⬇️

>>> It is that fucking easy people, you can do this on; Tiktok, Tumblr, Twitter, etc. Alastor in the show itself is the representation. Not the fanart. I've said it twice before, I'll say it again. There are millions of Hazbin Hotel fans, millions of Alastor fans. There is absolutely no way you are going to stop everyone from making shipping art, this happens in EVERY fandom.

>>> And hey, a lot of the people who make art are often Asexual themselves and it's how they try to understand and discover where they are on the spectrum and what they are comfortable with. And if that's the case, Alastor is doing one Hell of a good job at ace representation. We are supposed to be a supportive community and not one that makes others feel guilty about where they fall on the spectrum because of what they like.

>>> Anyway, I found this fandom to be more of a family to me now that I stopped caring about others' negative opinions and hatred. Alastor is clearly a sex-repulsed character but you know what he also is? Fictional.

>>> For those of you who need to hear it, do not feel guilty just because you aren't the strict sex-repulsed aroace everyone thinks you should be. You are valid.

>>> (Ps. This is exactly what my tumblr "For You" page looks like 60% of the time and it'sworth it. I follow a select few of Ace Alastor writers who just so happen to be obsessed with radioapple and/or radiostatic and they are absolute delights. Every single one of them. I AM STILL VERY MUCH A SEX-REPULSED AROACE)

[trisscar368]

You absolutely need to realize that real people fiction is absolutely dehumanizing to real life people when you make up headcannons about them and turn them into fictional characters to jerk off to in fanfics. It is absolutely not ok in any way shape or form. and it is, actually, sexual harassment to make someone know "everyone" wants to jerk it to them.

How does RPF differentiate from AI porn art of actors? drawings depicting actors in sexual situations? because its words, its ok? because theyre a celebrity, they're not human and therefore public property to use their humanity however you please?

the complete lack of consideration of the real life person you are turning into a toy is so repulsive. the amount of youtubers alone who have had to come out and say how uncomfortable it makes them should be enough. You should not be acting until told not to; its something you should only do IF they very clearly condone it. but even then, the gall to ask someone "can I write a romance novel about you and who" is absolutely an offputting thing to ask of anyone.

No, not because "sex is taboo" but because forcing unwarranted things like that on absolute strangers, is sexual harassment.

Reading comprehension questions:

Did OP advocate for harassing celebrities in the original post?

No. The entire point of the post was listing out ways that fandom harasses celebrities and telling them to cut that shit out.

Did OP state that people should tell celebrities about their fantasies?

No. That is... quite literally antithetical to the original post. Fascinated how you're agreeing with so much of my post and yet falling so flat at the end.

Did OP say anything about their personal interaction with RPF that might have an impact on how seriously they can take this anonymous message?

Yes. OP mentioned in the post that rpf is a squick that they blacklist. OP is not mushing any celebrities together like toys, either literally or metaphorically. OP is almost wondering if you got them confused with some other cabbage on the internet.

Reading comprehension: 0/10

There is -- and this is the part that truly I cannot let slide without commentary -- an equivalency in your message between people having and talking about fantasies (RPF existing) and the act of harassment. Let's look at the definition of harassment really quick.

Repeated or continuing unconsented contact that would cause a reasonable individual to suffer emotional distress and that actually causes the victim to suffer emotional distress.

Key word there? Contact.

People in a youtube comment section telling the youtuber how sexy they are, or how cute they are with their co-host omg my ship is so squee? Harassment. Contact has been made, the people doing are in that creator's forum space. Do not pass go do not collect $200.

Someone unsolicitedly tagging the cast of a tv show in explicit rpf fic or explicit art on Instagram, xitter, tik-tok, etc? Harassment, that individual is initiating contact with the actor. Same way endless phone calls constitutes harassment.

Sending anything explicit to an actor's family? Waaaay harassment. Possibly stalking as well, depending.

Someone writing a fic on ao3? Not harassment. It's not being sent to the celebrity. There is no contact, the only way they know about it is to go looking themself or have a friend send it to them (and hey, don't be that friend unless you've asked if it's okay).

Explicit fanart posted in fandom spaces? Not harassment.

Fic and art that stays behind the fandom wall? When no contact is made, there is no harassment.

It is not the existence of the fantasy that causes problems, it's the celebrities constantly having to hear about it. That's harassment.

Art existing, fic existing, discussions or fantasies existing do not constitute harassment. Someone writing fanfic and sharing it with their friends is not forcing it onto the celebrity. Someone expressing a sexual desire to a third party is not forcing either the desire or the act on the celebrity.

Thoughts are not actions.

This is a hill I will die on. This is a hill we should all die on, honestly, but as a someone who grew up with OCD, the fact that my intrusive thoughts don't alter reality is really fucking important.

Being out in the sunlight will not kill my friends. Calling the wrong phone number will not result in my family dying over the following few days.

Having a sexual impulse, having desire, does not itself alter reality. Saying those thoughts out loud, admitting that someone is hot, that they have chemistry with a costar? Writing it down to share? Has as little impact on reality as the rituals I had to repeat endlessly as a kid to keep the Bad away.

RPF is not an act of assault. It is not, inherently, harassment.

Is fandom really bad at keeping the fourth wall up? Yeah. There are a lot of people who harass celebrities and think it's fine, because the celebrity is rich and they can just go cry into their money. (To be clear, I think that's bullshit.) But again, constantly, endlessly, it's what people do that matters.

“You’d have done the same,” said Lily. “No,” said Granny. “I’d have thought the same, but I wouldn’t have done it.” “What difference does that make, deep down?” “You mean you don’t know?” said Nanny Ogg.