#idk how hypersexual asexuals work personally?

[nanowatzophina]

Just some Fooliverse fun!

Might do more of these. I really like the fun reverse takes of these characters—

It’s all so fun with the whole reversals!! I love it!!

Might do some Fooliverse designs as I go— tho it depends on if my dumb brain can be nice to me.

[full-of-malice]

miguel o'hara, relationships, & asexuality

i'm back with another character analysis because i can't be normal idk this is a take on miguel being asexual from the perspective of an arosepc aspec person and just discussing him for no particular reason

miguel o'hara is a generally sexualized character, shown constantly over and over again through media, you're often unable to scroll through any social media feed without finding something about miguel's ass or boobs or him half naked. he's incredibly hypersexualized in every aspect. much of this likely stemming from the "latin lover" trope and fetish. [this is not a callout type analysis, not everyone who finds him attractive has a fetish. this is just where i get to say random things because i feel like it for some reason] despite not being shown in any sort of sexual concept, shown anything related to romance, shown interest in romance, or even portrayed having an old relationship, the internet became obsessed with this man. miguel has shown no want or need for relations, romance or sex or not his driving motives, he has romance and sexual concepts forced onto him, not unlike many asexual people. it's one of the reasons that some asexual people may headcanon him as such, and may see themself in the way that he is constantly being sexualized for nothing. yes this is a character, who does not exist, but this aspect that seems made by more fanon parts of the atsv is incredibly relatable all the same. by no means does this headcanon mean that he as a character cannot participate in sex nor romance, asexuality and being aspec is a vast spectrum, some people have likes, dislikes, preferences and so forth. this isn't a headcanon because i might think he's a prude

regardless of whether you think that miguel is asexual, or if he is sex repulsed, allo, or aromantic as well, it can easily be said that having a relationship is not on the table for him. in regards to miguel's mental health, romance or sex is not an option really. while he does need to be taken proper care and get the help he needs, romance is a commitment that him getting into amongst all of this, simply would just not work. his immense anger issues, devastating grief, and unhealed trauma would simply not be good for a romantic or sexual relationship, and it would end up falling apart. rather he needs a kind of care and stability, from friends, maybe a therapist, those he can form a familial bond with over time. he doesn't need a relationship or to care for others, first he needs to learn how to care for himself and take a moment for what he needs rather then what his moral guilt is driving him to do. 

as always thank you for reading my incoherent mess of words

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

AroAce Club: The Origins

Sini: As an ace person ace Miu makes perfect sense. It's one of my fave hcs as well and I also just find it offensive when people say certain characters are "too horny" to be ace. Like....Ace people can be horny???

we need to start a club, aces united for ace Miu

Ves: sneaks into your house and turns all your ships into qprs while you aren't looking

you are my hero for this

idk how to put that in normal words, I feel unhinged things about this

I need explicitly aromantic ship content and nobody is making it

how many times can I reread Litsu's "Besties but Better" before more fics like that spawn, before I go insane?

I mean, "The Simple Truth (And Other Boldfaced Lies)" has been starting to go in that direction but it's crumbs in 1 (one) longfic that I don't know when/if to expect a next update

Hina: Can I ask what you mean by this?

I mean stories that make it clear characters are aromantic that are still relationship focused, that show how they navigate it

Hina: That seems cool, and I'd love to see this more!! I think I've only ever seen one or two aromatic ones and maybe like 5-10 asexual ones? (I know those aren't the same)

I want to read about characters being confused by the other types of attraction they experience trying to figure out their feelings just as much as I do about ones figuring out they're gay

I want those domestic slice of life one-shots that just don't have the romance in them but still make it clear the relationship is as important to the characters in it

I want to read those settling into a relationship 5+1 fics but about QPR

Clown_Chaoticz: This is so true, man, there's just a few certain things I think do best when presented in the form of something aromantic. Really wish there was more surrounding that type of closeness

Checkers: romance is a really difficult concept for me so seeing qpr and intimacy without romance is very lovely

Clown_Chaoticz: One of my favorite headcanons is that shuichi is somewhere on the aromatic spectrum, probably because I see him as the type to have some sort of feelings for everyone he meets. I saw that and went "HEH. HEHEHEHE". Meanwhile I think ouma is demisexual, or something along those lines. I wish there was something about them navigating something like that

crack treated seriously: actually getting married just for the tax benefits, an easygoing aro couple that doesn't attach much meaning to it, surrounded by supportive but not understanding friends who need to get more chill about it, it's just a formality and a party to celebrate being over with it, please we just want to be able to visit each other at the hospital if something happens, stop talking about children

Hina: Can I ask a question? How exactly does the aromatic spectrum work (genuine)

the range is similar to the ace spectrum, you get the gray, demi and all that

some aroace people use one label because the general lack of both feels like one and the same to them, but I use both separately, cause I have different feelings about those and figured them out at different times. I think I don't get romantic feelings at all, while being somehow hyperromantic (ik the term is almost unheard of compared to hypersexual, but it works the same), while having some sexual attraction left as long as it's impossible to pursue, and being mildly repulsed by mentions of irl stuff/realistic depictions while being fascinated with fiction. It was really easy for me to say I'm ace and never want to actually do anything sexual, while admitting I'm aro is still hard, part of me just obsesses over romance. And I still get sensual attraction on the crossroads of aesthetical and platonic, which is really annoying and sets off the hyperromantic spiral

Clown_Chaoticz: Yee!! Pretty much little to no romantic feelings! But still with the ability to love really deeply, just more on the platonic side of things. Personally I like it for shuichi specifically because the struggle to put people into a well defined "I feel this about you" box is very real. Mostly because I think shuichi would be inclined to search for clear answers, without realizing that his and others people's definitions of romantic are just the right amount of awkward to feel off. I'm struggling to describe it ajskhdshd I'm aromantic! And everyone's experience surrounding that is different sure but the way I can describe it for myself is that I am unable to see myself in a romantic relationship. I lowkey find it unnecessary. I like seeing it! I like thinking about it with my silly fictional people! I do not see it for myself. For the longest time I straight up did not know there was another aspect to liking someone. I thought everyone just picked who they had feelings for I thought there was a step by step process where you HAD to be friends first because there was no reason for you to further the relationship otherwise. So getting friendzoned? Did not understand why people were upset about that. Cause I thought, you have everything you need! Your still close to them!! I understand now the difference but MAN it's complicated.

like, some ace fics imply characters to lack sensual attraction too and be grossed out by kissing, but I am not, and it bothers me, because it's hard to explain it as a separate kind of attraction and draw the line

no, bc when I was pursuing dating I was hell-bent on the have to be friends first too, like, surely you have to get to know them first to be able to feel it, right? right?

Sini: Demisexual Kokichi is my fave and I cherish it. I've never thought of arospec Shuichi but that does make sense… I usually think of Tenmiko as having a kind of qpr or aroace romance. I didn't even know there were Saiou fics like that out there I know there are ones focused on asexuality that I've read, but that's it

Clown_Chaoticz: OHH!! I CAN SEE THIS!!! Tenmiko as a qpr kind of goes hard actually akhdkshdkdj This will be the only way I accept it from now on/hj

Sini: Idk, they're so coded to me- Tenko is such an aroace lesbian. She just admires and loves Himiko sm. And Himiko strikes me as not being the dating type. Like she has her crushes and stuff, she can have romantic adjacent feelings, but if she's getting involved she doesn't really want to do was is expected of her. She likes Tenko but not like that and Tenko realizes she feels the same. They simply have a deep connection : ) Literally gal pals Himiko goes off like, "We're not soulmates, we're soulbonded" and everyone but Tenko is confused on what the difference is

also I made this chart of my hcs, but tbh I could move nearly anyone to a higher tier at any time if I felt like it, any of them could be aspec, and the main reason I didn't put Kaito as aroace is me being a hater, not wanting to share that with him, he has the potential for it, and I could put saiou in any variation, maybe one day I'll write something where one is aro and the other is ace, and they still get into some weird situationship, probably within The Greater Akamatsu Polycule, they're just fascinated by each other, there'd be mind games and Literal Sleeping Together... it'd be great.

[when I shared it in the pit, I said] I need help, how do I hc characters as aro without making them aroace? I need more aro hcs, I am not even sure about Sayaka or Sonia, it was more like I'm okay with placing them there but it wouldn't be my default, why do I not have aro hcs? wtf and I am not much better with ace hcs, I was going to have Kiyo and Gundham be just ace, but the voice in my head was like Why not? Why shouldn't I make them aroace? We can have it all

Hina: I love Aroace Nekomaru

I just think that after having their private platonic interaction peeped on & sexualized by outsiders both Nekomaru and Akane deserve to be ace, she's got more going on but tbh I haven't seen either of their ftes myself so it's mostly vibes and what other people said I am referring to the massage scene

Sini: FR! They’re so chill when it comes to that stuff. In Akane’s case it could be partly due to all the harassment she received, which just makes a lot of her reactions really sad, but she deserves to be ace as a treat. Makes things a little less sad (but also more so sad)

Hina: I've gotten some hate before for headcanoning Nekomaru as Aroace because he's apparently canonically MLM but? I don't know. Based on his FTE's, he's just a really chill person and I think he values the friendships that he builds and forms with people enough where a romantic relationship just isn't something he thinks about for himself often

Sini: Nekomaru can be Aroace and still be MLM…..Idk why people think being aroace means you can’t feel any attraction to any gender ever

Now go and write about aspecs!

[krystalin3]

i saw the old anime movie Wicked City

It's one of those anime movie I always wanted to watch but never did, to reference a friend "cause it was too cool" and thought I wasn't ready or sonething.

I think generally speaking I'm always wrong when I feel that but that's a different topic.

The movie was... technically speaking.. writing wise... kinda dumb and bad.

But the important thing is that I personally kinda loved it.

It's sleazy, low budget, nonsense.

But they tried to make the sleaze part of the point, and I alreciate that even though it was stupid.

The low budget led to them really making some stricking, cool, evocarive imagery despite the animation not being the smoothest thing ever.

A lot of fight scenes had these almost artistic music video vibe to it cause they just trying to save money and put as many editing trick to simulate movement and all of them were lovely to watch.

And the nonsense has potential to be cool if a better writer grabbed it. The implications are stupid or ridiculous, but I can imagine myself writing fan fiction exploring the cooler implications, or the aspects they chose to ignore or failed to see about the general concept.

The worst thing about it is that it wasa very hypersexual film, and it chose to try to titilate by constantly raping a main character. Which is obvioullsly shitty.

But I'm used to seeing shitty depictions of sexual pleasure so to me what matter is how the depictions are framed, and again, I find the framing, the art, the lighting, to all be really cool looking.

I am too asexual to actually be aroused in any way, but I did find that they looked neat.

I also appreciate it tried to be really mature and try to be subtle with writing... despite the writers not being great at it, sometimes it worked out ..

Idk it's a movie that hits certain aesthetic things that I like and I would like to share my appreciation of it one day. Maybe when I finally make my movie nerd YouTube channel or something.

[starrycassi]

RavenBand!Neil thoughts

Tws for acephobia, sa and yk, the traditional in aftg. Also I ignore the canon in some a lot of parts. Ah, and this is settled more in a present like time so, bear with me.

I personally love the idea of Nathaniel being SO out of touch with the world. This kids was brought in here from such a young, young age. And since day one, he's been number three.

He's been under Ichiro's wing control all this time, too. His only spare time is divided between some weird game called Exy and stuff like mostly trying to sleep.

Picture this little boy, who isn't even 15 yet, having a routine like: wake up, everything that comes in with self care for a star, daily warming ups and then fucking exploiting himself in both dancing and singing, for as long as his body can hold (and then, just a bit longer)

He then gets up, shakes his spirit until it's awake again and walks off to the room he shares with Jean. Nathaniel is performing in a piano in front of millions when he's not even able to reach the bathroom mirror without standing on his tiptoes yet. He's being perfectly presented to the world when he doesn't even have his own phone.

You know those sort of kids that fuck up their lives to shit like ballet, modelling and such? The ones who shine so brigth that their souls burn in the process? The ones that fight harder and harder every day because in something like art, the older you get the less attention you are given? The ones that cry out of pure rage when shit goes grown because they know how important it is for everything to work out? That's Nathaniel Wesninski, number 3 of the perfect group, brother property of Ichiro Moriyama, son of the butcher and caretaker of Jean Moreau.

So he grows up to be this sort of machine-like person when he's out of his room. The only real friend he has is Jean, because even when Kevin tries to be there, he always ends up running when Riko asks him to, and even if Ichiro finds Nathaniel somewhat better than his actual little brother, he knows what kind of person that man is.

Jean isn't exactly in a different situation, with his life literally being Riko's new toy... until it isn't, because Ichiro decides that if Riko gets Kevin is only fair that Nathaniel gets Jean, as if the two boys are some sort of fancy toys.

So what I'm trying to get to here is Nathaniel and jean bein horribly clueless to shit like sex innuendos. But Nathaniel especially, since he doesn't even feels something along those lines or at least not until some good five or so years after.

Even if Riko insist. So much. Sometimes, he wins those figths. Sometimes he doesn't.

Then they decide to stop being only a group that performs shit like weird ass contemporary dances or classical songs, all of them a very useful front for the business the Moriyamas needed to do. They ALSO become a "k-pop" band (because idk if u can call it that) and it's chaos.

And of course you all know about the sexualization of young artists, so I think that as soon as it's legal to do so, this "quality" of being absent minded to sex of Nathaniel is exploited. Suggestive pics that aren't actually graphic, but they are... interestingly placed and conceptualizd. Out of place comments that he never catches on or plays out as a joke. Riko hovering over him way too much when they are too close. Being asked to behave in certain ways with certain artists because that's what the fans want.

They turn the asexual boy into a sexual fantasy for the public.

Of course he becomes aware of it after Jean gets his own phone and fuck, that is a hard weekend.

But he's also used to it. And as someone who has a lot of bad behaviors, I know how fucking hard it is to get rid of them. Nathaniel just hating human contact when he isn't warned about it but also being all touchy with other people accidentally because he's been teached this since he was a child.

Like, sometimes I feel like people forget that hypersexuality is a response to trauma, too. I've even seen some people use this as some fort of excuse, and it really, really makes me feel so weird.

Just imagine it. Neil (former Nathaniel, and then former Niel) learning that even if he can be a bit too out of line, it's not his fault. He's heard those words before, Jean used to whisper them to him after bad nights, but Jean is Jean, and he can be so soft with Neil sometimes that it scares both of them. For them, those words were the same as saying that everything will be okay or we'll get trough this. They were never real words, they were just an expression of solidarity— just a bunch of attempts to survive in that hell of a place, even if they had it "better" than some of the others.

But then, there's Andrew. Andrew who just fucking kicks him in the legs when Neil attempts to get too close. Who only asks one time if Neil really doesn't like to swing even if they both know he's still being forced to play the game and then never brings the topic up. Andrew who only looks away, humming, that one time Neil had to undress in front of him. Andrew who keeps Nicky in line even when Neil can be seen as interested by the way he behaves. Andrew. Andrew who makes Neil understand what sex should feel like. Who makes him happy and makes him feel like he's floating in the short moments they get to be actually alone. Who makes Neil understand that even if he is pretty, even is he is hot, even if he is wanted, he should never be used. Never, never, never.

And then there is Aaron, see? They're a good duo. Aaron, who only pays attention to his scars when he sees his naked chest. Aaron, who looks like he doesn't care about life but slowly makes sure to never sit too close to Neil when it isn't necessary. Aaron who just straight up hates him but never hurts him. And it makes Neil so relieved and nauseous, to understand that even if he can be annoying, even if he is stubborn, even if he isn't wanted, he should never have to under go horrible punishments. Never, never, never.

[yibuo]

1. As a SA I agree with u that sex is something we dont discuss and we never even touch the topic until we think we're grown up to talk abt, even with friends. I love it when western ppl try to discuss and dissect asian content with their own values and upbringing. So I dont really think lwj or wei ying are asexual at all, the story in the novel starts at a tender age of 13 or 14 and most asian kids at that age are really kids, No 13 year I knew was confident abt dating at that young age.

2. But I disagree u on one think I loved the way the author wrote lan zhan, coz this boy has hidden away from any human emotion. He locked himself in the library or used to practice what he learned, he never even learned the art of simple conversation and suddenly him realising that he might have fallen in love must have made his life unstable. Him telling his brother that he might be in love just tells u how much wei ying affected him, he just didnt have the tools to express the need and love

3. Lwj was smitten and even wrote a song just for them, he wasnt confident enough and didnt know enough to make a move, when he did wei ying forgot and so lwj kept thinking he was reject but still stood with him. Lwj is basically the longing and wwx was disbelief. Wwx never believed he was worth anything, he might have gotten a house to call home but the way the lady of the house treated him made him have issues. Love wasnt the only thing which made him give his golden core to jc.

4. It was also the sense of duty that these ppl helped me now I have to sacrifice myself for them. Even with lwj he keeps thinking hes ruined lwjs white cloths everytime they end up fighting someone or thing. He felt guilty for his feelings coz he wasnt sure that he would be ever accepted anywhere. Wen for him became a mission coz he lived as a dirt poor kid, he knew how they felt.

5. So yep I dont think lwj or wwx were written badly it's just the cultural thing coming in abt relationships. I seriously am loving this writers another novel coz they write the relationship like normalised relationships. Couples are made when one person is persuaded by the other. Never have I seen both ppl fall in love at the same time. P.S. sorry for the rant, it just makes me angry when white ppl think that us asians live their kind of life style

hey! this is going under the cut because much food for thought. you made 2 valid points and i’ll reply to both. also please feel free to correct me if i’m wrong. this is just based on my experience as a south asian lgbt who had the luxury to grow up and figure out this whole sex and lgbt thing along with other (east & south) asian lgbt individuals. i’m definitely not opposed to criticism and it’s important that i be corrected should i have said something wrong !!!!! and tbh that might give me some priviledge because i know some asian individuals probably didn’t have the same type of support group that i did to help figure out sexuality things

western values and expectations being pushed onto asian media - i think it’s really funny how people from the west like to push their expectations of romance/relationships onto asian media. like asian parents, east or south, are very minimal about exposing us to sex ed and sex in media, and media itself is very minimal on showing sexual attraction between characters (straight or gay) and romance is limited to kissing and hugging (unless it’s after marriage...maybe). like sex is just viewed as a baby-making tool?? i had this convo with my 1st gen east-asian friends last night nd we all came to the conclusion that we grew up w the idea that “sex happens but it only happens to ur partner for the rest of ur life” kinda thing so it’s completely a culture shock to us when western media has high-schoolers having sex and being chill about it ?? i couldn’t even imagine. so yeah anyway. not asexual. no sex in the show doesn’t mean asexual.that’s just not how dramas work lol plus yeah lol why are people expecting teenagers to have sex like...???? that’s just not a thing in mainstream media btw i’m not saying that gay sex shouldn’t be in asian media- i’m just tryna say that sex in general isn’t prominent especially in asian media

also it’s really interesting a lot of people were like the western idea of gay relationships are “conservative” like i feel like the hypersexualization especially of gay men started from western culture (specifically cis white males, for ex, when they first started making clinics to target lgbt people, the clinics were modeled after cis white males, which ended up ostracizing other lgbt groups) lol (like have U Seen All The Gay Thirst Traps On TikTok Lol /s) i’ve seen a lot of my friends (asian and white alike) be negatively affected by these standards which are propogated by the hypersexualization of gay males

wangxian- for lwj i just wish they didn’t write that part where he was some angsty teen who had to blindfold kss his crush to get his point across...i think that part was just so weird because it kinda furthers the idea of “people forcing each other on other people is romantic” but like it really isn’t?? idk that’s just my 2 cents i feel like that’s common sense lol and then i think it’s weirder that he hides it and even weirder that at the end it’s just cool “like o u forced kissed me? i thought it was a girl or something but that’s cool whatever <3″ idk it was just weird and it didn’t sit well w/ me. i’ve just seen people close to me affected by this kind of stuff and romanticizing of noncon just doesn’t seem like a kink it’s just. weird. sorry i don’t know how to form sentences. otherwise i really liked the idea of lwj being someone who’s so far from romance and love and expressing emotion turning into someone who shows love and loyalty

tldr; asian mainstream media doesn’t really focus on sex (not sexuality but sex), kinky sexy times are ok but noncon isn’t, western ppl stop tryna take over the world pls

[light-of-being]

10.01.19 (communication / understanding / connection)

People have told me this thing of “communication is a two-way street and if you struggle to be understood there’s probably things about the other person you don’t understand too” Like, sure, in a certain sense that’s completely true -- e.g. my asexual utilitarian ass will probably never really know what it’s like to be hypersexual or spiteful...but there is a certain asymmetry.

For the things I have difficulty grasping in a personal way, I make great effort to at least form an intellectual model of how/why this thing works -- construct a person that meets the right assumptions to result in that feeling or whatever else I’m tryna simulate. I kinda have to...else I’d have a grand sum of like 5 conversations in my life (”oh, I too had a stomach ache that one time. it does the pain thing. it’s not nice.” and other such literal physical things that require minimal values in common).

But I’ve had almost 0 people do the same for me. They apply their personal selves as model and if it doesn’t fit (which it rarely would), they simply dismiss it. “You’re fucking weird, mate” *puzzled look* “Anyway so...” K. Thanks, I guess. And I know they’re not even bothering to try because they don’t even ask a single question to get more information -- and as far as I can tell, more information is the single most important factor in this.

(do the holes in their model not bother them?? are they just like, “ok i can comfortably do people very very alike me, everyone else is weird and doesn’t matter”? you won’t do research and revisit your beliefs? does it just never present an obstacle in your life and so it’s fine? idk. must be nice. i gotta figure out this process for my own models lol)

I’ve been thinking about self-disclosure. I have explored this in some detail before, and I concluded time after time that I’m pretty open and would happily share anything I am asked, just that I’m often alogic and wouldn’t do so spontaneously. But I’m starting to think I was mistaken.

I was looking for the kind of things I’d expect people to keep secret, idk tragic family things or personal vulnerabilities or whatever. But again, those aren’t things that actually matter to me. I was looking for things I’d be intentionally withholding...I didn’t account for things I’d become so used to being dismissed/misunderstood that I’d developed normalised responses in their place by redefining terms.

“What do you do for fun?” “Nothing really...idk” [internal process: people do not relate to your brand of enjoyment and that is not what they refer to when they say “fun”, it is not relevant here. they won’t get it. in their terms, this answer is true.]

I’m growing increasingly tired of dealing with people lately. I’m bored and irritated by having to feign interest in what boils down in my mind eventually to “the commonplaces of existence”. Friendship feels like scheduled small talk. Like watching reality TV. I’m reminded of my semester-long experimental foray into a clique, which ended with me being so completely done that I abruptly went, “I can’t do this anymore” and walked out from the dinner table.

They demanded explanation later that night. The best I could give was (rephrased more gently obvs), “I’m tired of having to care about all of you and listen to your petty issues, while I get nothing from this relationship.” People have asked what it is I seek to get and I’ve never really had an answer except that everyone else was obviously getting fulfillment of some sort, that I was not.

Sigh. Idk. I’m just wondering if I’d abhor social relations less if they didn’t entail getting up in the morning and putting on my Person Mask and never taking it off, ever. If I could actually get experiences across to another. But the things that end up mattering to me are vague and oft ineffable, hard to articulate at all...much less frame in an understandable way. And I do not know where I would find such a person who has any idea what I’m on about.

Sounds unlikely enough to make any engagement not worth it.

[bitter-bitchbites]

also, if you’re against “allosexual” and say “non-ace” should be used instead, uuuh i’m sorry but you remember that’s short for “non-asexual” right ? so like. no big, actual difference.

just admit you just hate not being seen as the default “normal” for being allosexual and us having an easy word for it pisses you off. we’re all normal. this isn’t a competition.

so long nobody uses it to invent a privilege, it’s really not hurting you, so chill. if you stopped trying to paint us as “cold virgins” or “self-hating gays” or “people who don’t wanna fuck” so you can reassure yourself you’re the one with a Good Sexuality (which u are. rlly. no question on that) in opposition or some shit this would be muuuch less of a big deal to you, i promise.

just stop using us as prism to project your self-hatred and internalized sex-shaming bullshit into, and suddenly you’ll stop feeling like we frame you as a sex-obsessed beast just by existing. learn to live without comparing yourself and judging your worth according to what you think other people have/are, that’s much more healthy... healthier ? idk. it’s late. english is weird.

this’s been a psa by your local csa survivor, hypersexual ace trans intersex lesbian. i think i’d be pretty damn idiotic to promote sex shaming. but good thing is i’m not. you just need to not see every term with “sex” or “sexual” in it as a personal attack against your person when it’s not. you’re not abnormal for not being asexual. that’s not what the word ever meant. the people who promote that shitty interpretation are troll blogs passing as ace and scumbags calling themselves allogays because one day one (1) asshole used that phrase (tho i can’t actually remember if that wasn’t a troll too) and suddenly you all cry “slur !!” 

that’s not how it works and you know it. but yes the jokes about allosexuals being a certain way are dumb and annoying and insulting too. they are to ace people for often desexualizing us as a whole too. but they don’t have an impact that puts anyone in danger. they dont fit in allo cishets’ anti-lgbtqiap rethoric. cuz guess what. they especially don’t wanna be called allo-anything.

so last but not least, we don’t use allo(sexual/romantic) as a synonym for “gay”. that’s not the purpose of the word. people who do that are 1) assholes 2) lame and dumb 3) people you should point out to ace people instead of complaining about how we never do anything about those meanie aceys who bully you without giving us actual sources to fix the problem you complain about 4) not like that because they’re ace but because they’re anti-gay.

tho if it is a trigger it is normal to ask to not be refered as such. but that doesn’t apply here since i’m talking to a general you/the void. and the way i tag this should be blacklist-able.

[majorasnightmare]

man

as its pride month i see a lot of discourse on both sides of the arguement wrt pride inclusion and etc and i see a lot of compelling points and history on both sides but like tbh

i cant bring myself to devote time and effort or care to it. like? im more concerned with the material plight of lgbtq+ people suffering under capitalist enforced oppression on the axis of homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, misogynoir, etc and with that in mind i just cannot bring myself to get involved in petty discourse over whether or not certain people have a place at pride! my opinion is always that toxic members of our community should be barred from it, that those individuals who represent dangerous hostile communities like terfs or fascists should be barred from it, and that our primary concern should be ousting dangerous institutions from our safe places such as corporations, military, and the police, and those groups who exploit those institutions to enact oppression (again, terfs and the fash), and then focus our community efforts towards ousting individuals.

like? obviously individual groups/bars/smaller community events and gatherings will, by nature and necessity, be more individual oriented, like local GSA's and gay bars and community outreach programs have a need and responsibility to identify and handle individuals in their communities who pose a danger, threaten the safety, or otherwise exploit and reinforce institutional oppression (ID'ing and dealing with abusive, homophobic, transphobic, racist, etc people who have placed themselves in these local gatherings) but for larger community events like pride? meant to be a gathering for lgbtq+ people for a massive area? i dont think pride should concern themselves with debating whether or not ace people belong there, or if its okay for couples you think are straight to be at pride, because pride should worry first and foremost about getting cops to fuck off! to worry about seperating themselves from corporations! to deal with terfs exploiting police presence to harass and harm trans women! THATS what pride should first and foremost deal with! let your local institutions handle smaller issues like queer discourse, or ace inclusion or exclusion! thats what theyre there for! your local GSA cant handle topics like police presence at pride, and because pride is so massive it HAS to focus on these larger issues! because ideally they work in tandem!

my opinion is that not every person has a voice in every topic and good discourse is knowing when you can meaningfully contribute and when you cant, and that a blanket silence statement does nothing to contribute to the discourse at hand. saying that ace people have nothing to contribute silences ace people of color and how they experience the unique intersections of their identities (being fetishized and hypersexualized and simultaneously desexualized, and how that intersects with their asexual identity), silences aces who are lgb+, trans aces, etc, because their asexualness contributes meaningfully to their experiences! and alsom ace people who dont enjoy or participate in pda cannot contribute meaningfully in conversations on how homophobia and transphobia punishes lgbtq+ people for simple acts of affection, because that is not an experience they have due to their decision to reject or abstain from pda! obviously if their experience is relevant, then well, its relevant and can contribute to the discussion at hand, but like!

idk! i just feel like so much online discourse is centered around local instituions working towards combatting communal oppressors, and communal institutions managing local discourse when thats so backwards to me.

im tired and low on spoons so idk if i even worded my points in a way thats understandable but like i guess the tldr is that i think pride should focus on getting rid of cops and stop putting cishet people like ariana grande at the forefront, and that it literally doesnt matter if ace people fly a flag at pride, or if leather and kink communities attend. like the rules of public decency and respect still apply especially in a place where minors can attend, but i think those issues are things best handled by smaller local groups, and that pride events shouldnt be pressured to make the call on that.