#very charming it made me cry tears of hysterics

[ratatatastic]

(Top photo of Niko Mikkola: Joe Puetz / Getty Images)

Now that Niko Mikkola is in the NHL, his older sister, Nina Linnainmaa, laughs hysterically when she remembers the story.

As it goes, 20 years ago, the now-24-year-old St. Louis Blues rookie was in daycare in Finland and was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up.

“Ice hockey was always his thing, so he said that he will be an NHL player,” Linnainmaa recalls, bursting between words. “But he had a backup plan, and that was to be the driver for the trash car. You know, those cars that pick the trash from people’s houses? Garbage truck! That seemed like a compelling option. NHL player or drive the garbage truck.”

When Mikkola is told over the phone that Linnainmaa has shared that with a stranger, you can almost hear the 6-foot-4, 185-pound defenseman’s shoulders slumping.

He sighs and can only surmise that the big truck had him in awe.

“Yeah, probably that’s why,” he says, shifting the conversation back to hockey. “But I think it was NHL player. I always like all kind of sports, so probably that’s my career option.”

It has turned into a wise choice for Mikkola, who scored his first NHL goal in San Jose on Monday night. Just 21 games into his NHL career, the fifth-round pick from 2015 has many in awe of his veteran-like ability. In an era in which young defensemen are coming into the league looking like forwards and wanting to make their marks in the offensive zone, he seems to enjoy coverage responsibility and physicality.

“Yeah, he has a different element in today’s game,” Blues general manager Doug Armstrong says. “He’s a defender, and there’s not a lot of defenders out there anymore.”

It’s as if he chose the more thankless of his two career aspirations.

To learn more about how that make-up evolved, The Athletic spoke to those who have known Mikkola since his garbage-truck-loving days, those who were there for his path through Finnish hockey, and those who identified him as a player who could make an impact at the NHL level.

A young Niko Mikkola skates at an outdoor rink in Finland. (Photo: Nina Linnainmaa.)

Sports were always part of life for Timo and Pirjo Mikkola’s two children: Nina, who is three years older, and Niko.

Timo played ice hockey and was a coach, so that was the family’s main sport in Kiiminki, a municipality that is now part of the larger city of Oulu. Both kids played, and Pirjo would volunteer at the rink.

Mikkola played for his dad from ages 4 to 10, and as he grew older, he was always on the ice.

“He would spend a lot of hours on ice hockey,” Kinnainmaa says. “Even after the official trainings, he always wanted to go to the public rink to skate with his friends.”

Blues defenseman Niko Mikkola rollerblades with his sister, Nina. (Photo: Nina Linnainmaa.)

And if it wasn’t hockey, it was some other competition: soccer, baseball, skiing or orienteering, which combines hiking and navigational skills.

“We used to compete a lot. And it didn’t matter where, we competed,” Linnainmaa says. “Our parents would sometimes play a trick on us and say, ‘Run around the yard, and we will take time.’ They didn’t take time. They were just telling us, ‘OK that was a bit faster than last time. Please try again.’ That was their way (to get rid of us).”

Asked who won those races, Mikkola doesn’t hesitate in responding. “Me.”

Linnainmaa jokes, however, that her younger brother has never won a fight between the siblings. She let that slip in an interview with a Finnish gossip newspaper a few years ago.

“That became like a headline, like shocking news: ‘Niko has not won against his sister on a fight,’” she says. “He was embarrassed.”

Mikkola didn’t find out what his sister had said until he read it in the article.

“I was laughing first, and then I call her,” he says. “I say, ‘Don’t say that again.’ She was laughing.”

So is it true?

“I don’t know,” Mikkola says.

“Yes,” Linnainmaa says. “I was three years older, and Niko moved away when he was 15, so …”

In 2012, Mikkola left Kiiminki to play for the U18 team of the Finnish Elite League’s KalPa, which is located in Kuopio, about 3 1/2 hours away from his home. He would be living on his own, which he admitted was “a little bit scary.” But his parents would visit and bring him food, and Linnainmaa wasn’t worried. Her brother had always been independent. When he was little, he would pack his own hockey bag, making sure he had his helmet, skates, etc.

“It’s not just something he learned,” she says. “It’s something he’s always been.”

Mikkola played just 12 games in his first season for KalPa but suited up in 46 his second year and finished with four goals and 17 points.

“It was kind of like a fresh start,” he says. “I did get more ice time on that team, so I feel like that was good for me for sure.”

Meanwhile, the defenseman was sprouting. His dad is 6-foot-1 and both his mom and sister are 5-9, but Mikkola was well on his way to towering over all. In 2014, the year before he would be eligible for the NHL Draft the first time, he grew three inches.

“Niko was in Kuopio, and I was busy with my university studies, so living in different cities, I didn’t see him often,” Linnainmaa says. “It was like an instant that he became so tall.”

But despite his game developing and his frame extending, Mikkola, not unsurprisingly, went undrafted.

Timo Koskela, a former Blues area scout in Finland, was in his first year with the team when he spotted Mikkola.

“He caught our eye the year he went through the draft, but in the second year, his game really improved,” Koskela says. “But he was a late bloomer, a little bit, over here. He was a lanky kid, but every time when I saw him, the two things that caught my eye: He really wanted to make a difference and his ability to skate as a big man.”

In Mikkola’s third season with KalPa, 2014-15, he had nine goals and 23 points in 37 games on the U20 team and also made his first appearance in the Finnish Elite League. But still, when Central Scouting released its mid-term rankings of European skaters in January, he was not among the 210 on the list, and when the final rankings came out in early April, he was No. 111.

The Blues thought at the time they might be able to get Mikkola in the sixth or seventh round of the 2015 draft. But that changed when Koskela watched him at an international tournament in April, two months before the draft.

“He played really well at the end of the season, and I was nervous because there was a lot of scouts (at the tournament),” Koskela says. “I kind of thought that he wasn’t (a secret) anymore.”

Two years earlier, the Blues had made a trade with New Jersey, sending forward Matt D’Agostini to the Devils for a conditional 2015 seventh-round pick. The condition was if D’Agostini was not re-signed by New Jersey, the selection would become a fifth-rounder.

D’Agostini was not re-signed, therefore the Blues got pick No. 127 from the Devils.

“I remember we were discussing closely, like, ‘What would be the right time to take him?’” Koskela says. “We had a pick early in the fifth round, and we thought that’s the place where we can get this guy.”

Then Koskela had an idea. A day or two before flying to the U.S. for the draft, which was held in Sunrise, Fla., that year, he would drive to Kuopio to meet Mikkola in person.

“I wanted to get an idea of how many teams interviewed him,” Koskela says. “I waited a long time to be the last one who could interview him before the draft, so that’s why I drove and tried to get all the possible information. But you know, Niko was smart. He said he had some interviews.”

Mikkola says he wasn’t fibbing when he told Koskela that he had spoken with 10 to 15 NHL clubs.

Either way, the Blues knew if they wanted him, they had to grab him sooner than later.

“He was late on to our list,” says Bill Armstrong, the club’s ex-director of amateur scouting, who drafted Mikkola. “Timo kept talking about the kid, and then he played well in the late tournament. We went to go see him at the end of the year, and everybody just came away excited about him. You’ve got to give a lot of credit to the area scout for really going to town on him and getting him on the board.”

That year, the Blues took Vince Dunn in the second round, followed by forwards Adam Musil and Glenn Gawdin in the fourth.

“As the head scout, at that point, you’re looking for something of a quality,” Bill Armstrong says. “I’ll give you an example: So, OK, a guy has 110 points in junior, but he has no size and he’s just playing with somebody good, so his game is not going to translate. … He might be a great junior player, a great college player, a great European player, but you want to see NHL qualities so you can sink your teeth in and say, ‘This is why we’re taking this guy.’ With Mikkola, we could sink our teeth into the quality of his size, his compete and his ability on the defensive side of the puck.”

So after Carolina made its pick at No. 126, the Blues took him. Mikkola actually thought the fifth round is about where he’d go, and because typically only players who are projected to go in the first few rounds attend the draft, he was not in Florida.

“No, no, no. He was in the sauna somewhere in Finland,” Bill Armstrong says.

Actually, with Rounds 2-7 taking place in the afternoon, Mikkola was out for dinner with some friends when his agent called to tell him the news.

“I think I was like one step closer,” he says.

Before he became the Blues’ GM, Doug Armstrong worked in Dallas under Bob Gainey, and one of the many lessons he learned from the Hall of Famer applied in the decision to keep Mikkola playing in Finland after he was drafted.

“The feeling was: Until you can play in the World Championships, there’s enough you can develop over there,” Armstrong says. “A lot of organizations see it totally different. They want to get them over to North America as quickly as possible. I personally have no problem leaving a European there until (age) 22-23 and let them just develop in a very comfortable environment.”

Mikkola agreed with the decision.

“I wasn’t ready for the NHL back then, but I was growing up as a player,” he says. “There’s no rush to get there if you’re not ready. So I stayed for a couple of years. I think that was good for me, growing up as a player. … I found more of my game, like my style.”

Growing up, Mikkola had watched skilled Finnish defensemen Teppo Numminen and Kimmo Timonen, along with the likes of Janne Niinimaa and Joni Pitkanen. But he modeled his game more as a sturdy blueliner who liked to defend.

“He has a big frame, and since I’ve known him and played against him, he’s always been willing to go in and battle and lay the body on people,” says Jani Hakanpaa, a Ducks defenseman who played with and against Mikkola in Finland and trains with him in the offseason. “He knows how good he is, and that’s one thing that keeps him going. He always wants to challenge himself and be in your grill out there. He always wants to win and be the best guy out there.”

Koskela remembers a story that demonstrates Mikkola’s competitiveness. It was Mikkola’s second full season playing in the Elite League, and he was eyeing a more prominent role on the team.

“The coach (Pekka Virta) told me that he interviewed Niko and he asked, ‘What’s your goal for the upcoming season?’ and Niko told him, ‘To play in the top six,’” Koskela says. “They had a really good D that year, and the coach told him, ‘OK, this is the list. Who is the guy that you are going to push out from the lineup?’ Niko’s answer was, ‘That’s your problem, but I’m going to be one of those six who’s going to play.’ And he did it.”

“Just be confident and trust myself,” Mikkola says. “I knew I’m going to take that spot on the team. Yeah, I took that top-six spot.”

Niko Mikkola participates in a Blues’ camp in 2017. (Photo: Scott Rovak / St. Louis Blues.)

The Blues would get glimpses of Mikkola’s ability when he visited St. Louis for development camps, rookie tournaments and one training camp.

“The first thing you notice is his size,” Doug Armstrong says. “He’s got great reach, good size. And then you watch him play, and he’s competitive. He was raw at that time, but he is a very competitive person. You either have that or you don’t have that, and he had that right from the get-go.”

For the first time, Mikkola was measuring himself against future NHL players.

“I felt pretty good at that time,” he says. “I just knew that it was my goal to get here someday.”

After one final season in Finland, Mikkola came to North America in 2018-19, making the transition to a new country, new language and smaller rink in San Antonio, Texas, where the Blues’ AHL affiliate played at the time.

Everything translated.

In 70 games, Mikkola had just two goals and nine points, but his defensive play was impressive.

“You don’t have that much time on the puck, so that was the thing maybe took a little time, to move the puck quicker than back in Finland,” he says. “The Blues said that, and I felt that myself. But it was getting better.”

Doug Armstrong remembers the minor-league reports on Mikkola.

“It just re-enforced what you saw his first time: that high level of competitiveness — sort of a North American stature to his game,” he says. “He was willing to play on the edge. He fought. He did the things that aren’t common in European hockey. Then the rougher edges started to get smoothed out. His passing became accurate, quicker, harder. His reading the first play was becoming natural to him and just keeping the game in front of him.”

The World Championship was in Slovakia the next season, and when Jere Lehtinen, a former NHL player who is Finland’s national team GM, reached out to Armstrong. The two were in Dallas together.

“Jere said, ‘We don’t really have him on our radar screen,’ and I just said, ‘Well, he’s played really good in the American League this year,’” Armstrong recalls. “So they brought him in, but he had to go there not knowing if he was going to make the team.”

Jukka Jalonen, the coach of the national team that year, already knew Mikkola, having coached him in 2015 at a U20 international tournament.

“He made an impression for me, but back then, he didn’t have great puck skills,” Jalonen says. “He wasn’t that major, to be honest with you, because he was a younger guy. (But) we hadn’t seen him so much lately because he had played for AHL team. I thought we will need size on our roster in the World Championships. (Lehtinen) was also very positive watching him play on TV from videos.

“When he came in, right away we noticed that he will make the team.”

The configuration of the World Championship lineup is a little bit different because teams play as many as 10 games in 17 days, so they dress eight defensemen. Mikkola was in the second pair, logging about 14 to 16 minutes per game, which included time on the penalty kill.

In that tournament, which features many NHL players whose clubs aren’t in the playoffs, Finland ran into some serious offensive talent. Sweden, whom the Finns edged 5-4 in overtime in the quarterfinals, had Vancouver’s Elias Pettersson and Toronto’s William Nylander.

“I remember that first faceoff in overtime,” Mikkola says. “It was like Nylander, Pettersson and like (Oliver) Ekman-Larsson. Yeah, I was like, ‘Oh fuck. I have to skate hard.’ But it went pretty well.”

Finland advanced to play Russia, which had Washington’s Alex Ovechkin and Evgeny Kuznetsov and Pittsburgh’s Evgeni Malkin, in the semifinals, and blanked them, 1-0.

“Just looking back at the last minutes of the game, (Mikkola) did a good job of handling them,” says Hakanpaa, who was also on the team. “He doesn’t care who’s coming at him, if it’s Ovechkin or Malkin.”

Niko Mikkola defends fellow NHL rookie Kirill Kaprizov at the World Championship in 2019. (Photo: Robert Hradil / Getty Images.)

Finland won the gold-medal game 3-1 over Canada, which was led by Vegas’ Mark Stone and Philadelphia’s Sean Couturier.

Mikkola finished the tournament with two goals and five points in 10 games and was a plus-3.

“He did exactly what we wanted or imagined,” Jalonen says. “He didn’t play the power play, but still he had five points, which was very good. … I remember him defending against very good NHL players. He’s a little bit like a horse. He’s in very good physical condition, and he battled all night long.”

“I played pretty good,” Mikkola says. “It was kind of a breakout, for sure.”

Back in San Antonio in December 2019, Mikkola was anticipating a visit from Linnainmaa and her boyfriend (now husband), spending a few days together for Christmas. But with the couple’s flight laying over in Chicago, Mikkola was called up by the Blues. So they rented a car and made the five-hour drive to St. Louis.

“We wanted to make sure that when we were in the United States, we will get to see Niko at whatever costs,” Linnainmaa says.

Unfortunately, Mikkola didn’t play that night, but he did skate in the warmups.

“We made these really big placards, saying, ‘Niko’ and ‘Mikkola,’” Linnainmaa says. “There were like three times that the security personnel were stopping us saying, ‘Why do you have those kind of fan posters?’ They were OK because they were only ‘Niko Mikkola.’ So we went to really near the ice hockey rink, hanging our cards there. I think that I got noticed by the team.”

Nina Linnainmaa and her boyfriend show support for Linnainmaa’s younger brother, Blues defenseman Niko Mikkola. (Photo: Nina Linnainmaa)

Mikkola, who beforehand begged them not to embarrass him, doesn’t believe any players saw it.

“But our equipment guy noticed and asked me if I had family here,” he says. “I was like, ‘Yeah, my sister and her boyfriend.”

Shortly after, Mikkola was re-assigned to San Antonio, and they got their holiday time.

His sister had returned to Finland by the time he was recalled again and made his NHL debut against the Sharks on Jan. 6, 2020.

“The first game, we had to watch. That was huge!” Linnainmaa says. “Niko texted us that he will play on that night. So, yeah, we spent 30 Euros ($35) to get to see the game. I think he was excited, but sometimes it’s hard to tell because he doesn’t like scream or anything. He just says, ‘OK, I will play tonight in my first NHL game.’ You know he’s excited, but he’s really casual.”

“I know it’s a big deal, and those are big moments,” Mikkola says. “For sure I was a little bit nervous, but that was a very exciting day.”

He remained on the Blues’ roster for five games, averaging 14:22 of ice time. He was impressive enough that two weeks later the team signed him to a two-year, $1.6 million contract. It’s a one-way deal, meaning he’ll be paid an NHL salary even if he’s assigned to the minors.

“I give him credit. We’ve obviously given him a one-way contract because we think he can play in the league,” Doug Armstrong says. “When he’s in there, he’s proven he can play in the league. It’s just a matter of a consistent opportunity.”

In 16 games this season, Mikkola is averaging 13:17 of ice time, and that elusive first goal came Monday.

“He’s done a great job of kind of doing what’s been asked of him,” Blues defenseman Justin Faulk says. “He’s open to everything. He listens. He works hard. And as a young guy, if you continue to do that, it generally makes your job a bit easier. You start to settle in and get more comfortable. He hasn’t played a ton of games, but he’s going to have an opportunity here to kind of cement his spot in the lineup and show what he can do. We all think he’s capable of kind of taking the reins and stepping up.”

In addition to now being a regular in the NHL, Jalonen says, “I’m sure he’ll be fighting for a spot on the national team for the (2021) Olympics. He has a chance to be involved, for sure.”

Linnainmaa can’t fathom the opportunities her brother is creating for himself.

“It’s hard to believe because there are so many people that dream of it,” she says. “But on the other hand, he has always been really hardworking and diligent and responsible person. So, in a way, he had the qualities to make it.”

“Niko has done the work,” Koskela says. “I was the first guy who saw him play, but keep the credit for Niko.”

Don’t talk about credit with Mikkola, though.

“I don’t think about it like ‘I made it,’” he says. “I’m still on the way, and there’s still things I want to do to be better.”

And whenever his hockey career ends, there will always be an opportunity to drive the garbage truck.

“Yeah, usually you don’t play ice hockey when you’re 60, so you still have some good years after the career,” Linnainmaa says.

“He can do that when he’s retired from the first part,” Doug Armstrong adds.

“That’s true,” Mikkola says.

-

The Athletic | 3.10.21 (x)

[flownwrong]

chaotic ckr c6d squee propaganda (?) post

This, started half a year ago for @ds30below, was initially a general c6d short reviews post but kinda skewed majorly towards CKR's repertoire and wasn't too review-y. So I gave up on making sense and on including the non-CKR works. I don't know who the audience for this is, because I never give basic details for people who don't know about this stuff but say too much for those who do. I giffed what I could and tried to avoid what I know a lot about but haven't actually seen. Here goes.

Frank's Cock (1993)

Not much to say. It's only 8 minutes, it's beautiful and you should see it if you haven't. I won't spoil the subject, but you can likely guess. Watch it, cry a little. Then go watch some more of Mike Hoolboom's stuff, the vimeo link above is from his channel.

Two X-Files episodes (1994 – 1995)

Well, I haven't actually seen X-files since I was about fifteen and watched the like two seasons, and I remember none of it. I rewatched the two early episodes CKR appears in and they were fun. I did not watch the, the movie or whatever where he's doing the evil gay thing. But really, this one is on the list so I can show you this self-indulgent gif of him being Very Long:

Double Happiness (1994)

You shouldn't watch this one for CKR. I mean, you absolutely should see him here, looking like he's barely out of his teens and playing up the insecure act and having devastating chemistry with devastatingly beautiful Sandra Oh, but this is not why it's great. And it's really, really great. It's touching and funny and sincere. If you wanna have some feels about complicated family relationships and identity and growing up (at any point in life), you'll find them here.

Curtis's Charm (1995)

Don't regret watching it, can't recommend. Not gonna lie, I was emotionally affected. But I usually am by things as in-your-face bleak as this. Mostly, it's trying very hard to be smarter than it is, I think.

However: CKR's One Wild Curl is everything to me (see above, on the right. It was, like, actually curly. I was rendered speechless). And like two seconds of Hugh Dillon made me do a double-take, lol. Incredibly weird knowing this was shot like half a year before HCL began shooting. Feels like it must've been a decade earlier.

Hard Core Logo (1996)

I could make three separate posts about this one, so of course I have no idea what to say.

This one, you should watch for CKR, actually, he's something, but so is every single other aspect of this film. I wouldn't change a thing about it. It hits you like a 16 wheeler. Perfectly cast, unimaginably beautiful, hysterical and melancholy and disgusting and compelling.

Related recs:

A wonderfully fun article/retrospective/interview for its 20th anniversary a while back.

You should also absolutely read Hard Core Roadshow if you enjoyed the film. It's a book documenting the whole thing from conception to release. It touched me for its own sake, not just a backstage glance, full of love for the craft and the people and carrying this tangible bittersweetness about the heightened and fleeting nature of this kind of work.

(here, I feel compelled to include a quote from another c6d-related interview on Slings & Arrows, which I read after the book and went like man, it's really a universal experience isn't it.

Coyne: <...> But I also think, and this is my experience, what we were all experiencing, because we were all talking about our lives, our life in the arts — there’s something very melancholy about doing something you love, because it will never be good enough, it will always break your heart.

McKinney: Or it will be fleeting.

Coyne: It’ll be fleeting. You come together with people you feel passionately connected to and two weeks later they’re tearing down the sets.)

Quotes from the article and the book respectively include:

McDonald: So there was a kind of mutual dependency society with Hugh telling Callum, “Don’t worry, man, I got your back, I’ll tell you how high or low to wear your guitar, I’ll tell you how you should dress, I’ll tell you what you should drink…” and Callum was like, “I’ll tell you what hitting your mark is, I’ll tell you why they pull out fucking tape measures, I’ll tell you why you have to do it again, I’ll tell you about not overlapping dialogue..” and you know they clung to each other, like the other one was gonna fucking save them.

And:

A final gathering at the back of the tour bus with Bruce, Callum, Hugh, Bernie. We listen to the tape of HCL songs, all the way through, one last time. And we belt the words out. Bernie sings loudest, performing for Salerno's camera. Hugh and Callum sit back, looks of sadness. I get the sense that if they could do it, they'd chuck their lives and be Joe Dick and Billy Tallent forever. Callum leans to Bruce and says exactly what everyone else is thinking: "I don't want it to end."

There's much more to both texts than *gestures* the whatever those two had, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

And Xeriscape is the best HCL fic I've read. Granted, I read very few because it's not a source that creates in me a craving for fic. But this one perfectly matches the film's fucked up beauty with its language while also adding a quieter, more fraught layer of humanity that we only get glimpses of in canon and that perfectly fits John. 10/10, would recommend.

Anyway. Watch it. Read it. If you haven't. Otherwise, come scream with meeee! And go reblog my gifs or something. Idk.

Letters From Home (1996)

Mike Hoolboom strikes again, with another short. This goes into the "don't watch it for CKR, watch it because it's great" box. Yes, you will cry.

For Those Who Hunt The Wounded Down (1996)

Another bleak one! It sucked to watch, I mean, on purpose. There were a couple of very effective scenes. I really enjoyed the opening. They say the book is decent too, I haven't checked that out.

Actually, let's just switch back from coherent thought to undignified staring at his mouth with this one. What the fuck is that cigarette thing. I couldn't help myself.

Last Night (1998)

These gifs are not representative of the whole movie. There is more happening than CKR kissing or hugging people. He's also doing more than just kissing and hugging. It's all very... impressive.

Guess who's also here again? Sandra Oh! And say hi to Don McKellar, who is an absolute champion for writing/directing/starring. You'll be seeing more of him.

Another one for the "watch it for its own sake" box. Seriously, that late 90s indie stuff is banger after banger. It's so beautiful! Look at those colours! Look at those shots! It's very uneasy and charming and melanchioly and itself in the best way.

Twitch City (1998 – 2000)

Don McKellar is back to murder you with discomfort! Bruce McDonald lends a hand. Molly Parker is also here. And Daniel McIvor, who'd go on to direct, for example, Wilby Wonderful. It's a party. If you watched some stuff from above (or below) on this list, most faces and names will be familiar to you, tbh (another Hugh Dillon double-take happens).

If you liked Spaced, you'll love this. You might also love it because it commits to its weirdness with an admirable resolve and is genuinely hilarious. (Honestly, CKR's outfits alone warrant a watch.) The idiosyncrasy is definitely Don McKellar's doing 200%. It couldn't be more different from Last Night, but if you've seen one, you'll recognise the other.

Battlestar Galactica (2003 – 2009)

I don't think a person should be allowed to look this pretty in the sweaty-and-dying makeup in that light (this sentence probably looks very weird to those not under the CKR magic spell).

I don't know what to say about BSG because I really, really enjoyed early it initially, but by the middle of S2 it got... well, whatever that was. If you know you know, if you don't, still give it a go. You might get invested enough to suffer through it all, as I have been, slowly.

The unfortunate thing is that CKR got to be there mostly in the "what the fuck" years and not the "wow that's so cool" years. That, as you might be aware, is a pattern with him. But! When he was here, he was so genuinely, wonderfully creepy not in the typecast-baddy way, but in this slow, half-absent way, which really worked. You can also see him tortured a little, as a treat!! <3

Also, a wild John Pyper-Ferguson appears! If you're looking at him thinking you know him from somewhere but not immediately remembering, you'll figure it out, I believe in you. I was very happy to see him.

Wilby Wonderful (2004)

Another win for the put CKR in more good shit team!!! Guess who's here again? Sandra Oh! Also, Paul Gross. Don't watch it for him either though haha.

Another one for whoever wants to look at pushing against the weight of others' (or your own) expectations and growing into who you are or reconsidering who you are or finding meaningful connections with others even when you're kind of a mess and they are too.

Not nearly the first time CKR's gotten to play a queer character, but man, this one really is the heart of the in-universe community, and, through that, of the film. A rare chance to see him so far out of the prickly persona! He's just so solid and calm and there for others in this one and, and soft, ough. It's awesome.

By the way, if any of you have the commentary track or know someone who has, please drop me a line here or on discord (emotionalrisotto), I really wanna hear that.

Supernatural (2005)

I love Supernatural a lot. It was a formative experiences (albeit a very late one) and I owe a lot of my favourite stuff about fandom-ing to the buddies I met through it. I can't believe I'm telling you this (because who hasn't seen it, not because I'm reccing it), but you should really try it if you haven't. It's pretty rad.

I had no idea who this guy was when I saw that episode (the second ever one!), though. I simply cannot fathom what @nigeltde-fic felt when she first saw it. I think I personally got very lucky she didn't combust on the spot. It would've been unfortunate.

On a sillier note, CKR's character has weird tension with both Sam and Dean in this episode, which is par for the course. I personally think they should've... no, I shan't say it. You can probably imagine.

Californication (2008 – 2013)

I haven't actually seen it, lol (and I suspect I won't enjoy it, but I'm very curious and also CKR looks really really good).

The real reason for this one on the list is to share a fic rec. Really, it's a due South F/K fic featuring Lew Ashby. It's ridiculously hot and very satisfying in its romantic resolution, too (but then, I'm kind of big on selfcest. And consensual voyeurism. And pretend relationships when done like this. And sublimated yearning. Erm.)

Shattered (2010 – 2011)

I wish this never happened. I badly, badly wish this never happened. I can't turn back time, but I can warn those luckier than me: do not go there. Yes, even for this dude. You'll sleep better not knowing just what it is he was the EP on. And the only important part — the mascara — can be seen above (yes, the show does look that bad, it's not just the gifs).

Just kidding — I watched it, didn't I? You'll have fun hating it! Just prepare for industrial grade cringe, lower your expectations (No, lower. No, still lower than that. And just a bit more.) and you'll have a great time!

Star trek: Discovery (2024)

Or, as I call it, Star Trek: The Mediocre Show. Discovery S5 was... what it was, but it was a wonderful viewing experience — mostly thanks to the gang (@kittkatk and @feroxargentea especially!)

What a joy it is, to follow a show week by week, yelling and laughing and discussing the whole time. And giffing, too. I was very happy to contribute to the Disco fandom from my own little obsessive corner, and I was glad to see people adoring Rayner, haha.

He's a pretty neat character — very much a stereotype, yes, but with CKR's usual twist of odd vulnerability and weirdness. Also, I loved the ears. I miss the ears. The ears were great.

I even wrote a fic! Although it's not within my usual range to write for canons and universes I don't know well — and back then, I'd only seen S5 of Disco. It was a lot of suffering, and a lot of fun.

Closing thoughts

I'd really love the dude to get a better agent. And possibly better taste, but I realise that's a tougher ask. Seriously, it's been too long since he was in something majorly cool. I'm grateful to him, at least, for not making terrible music on the side. And I still have a lot of his back catalogue to get through, some of it even good, so there will be more insanity. Until then!

[justforbooks]

Shelley Duvall

Film actor who starred in The Shining and made seven films with Robert Altman

Toothpick-thin with bingo-ball eyes, a Modigliani face and a tremulous, broken-doll voice, Shelley Duvall, who has died aged 75, would have been an unforgettable screen personality at any point in history. That she began acting in the 1970s, when the unorthodox and the eccentric enjoyed a brief window of opportunity in US cinema, was fortunate. Falling into the orbit of the maverick director Robert Altman was even luckier.

Altman said she could “swing all sides of the pendulum: charming, silly, sophisticated, pathetic – even beautiful”. She became part of his unofficial repertory company, appearing in seven of his films.

Her most widely seen performance was for Stanley Kubrick in his adaptation of Stephen King’s The Shining (1980). She played Wendy Torrance, the terrorised wife of a psychotic aspiring novelist (Jack Nicholson). Almost as famous as the film itself was the emotional battering she took on set under the director’s regime of relentless, punishing takes – 127 of them in total for the scene in which Wendy is pursued by her taunting husband up a vast staircase, limply swinging a baseball bat in his general direction.

“It was gruelling – six days a week, 12- to 16-hour days, half an hour off for lunch, for a year and one month,” she told the Los Angeles Times in 1991. “The role demanded that I cry for, whew, at least nine of those months. Jack had to be angry all the time, and I had to be in hysterics all the time. It was very upsetting.”

The film tips into irony and even outright comedy at times, but one shot of Duvall’s pink, frazzled, tear-stained face is all it takes to be reminded that the stakes were high for her at least.

It was Altman, though, who tapped into her complexities, promoted her adoringly and helped extend her range. In the same year as The Shining, for instance, audiences saw her inhabit a character who seemed to come from another planet entirely.

Duvall’s physiognomy and physicality made her the ideal choice to play the gawky string-bean Olive Oyl in Altman’s delirious live-action musical Popeye. The director, who called her casting “a deal-breaker” when studio executives suggested hiring the Saturday Night Live star Gilda Radner instead, reflected that “nobody else could have played Olive Oyl like Shelley. Nobody else looks like that.”

But it was Duvall’s bottomless empathy that helped make this cartoon character far from cartoonish. Her mastery of slapstick, as well as the pathos in her delicate, wobbly rendition of Harry Nilsson’s song He Needs Me, resulted in a performance of Chaplinesque sublimity.

Altman first met her when he was casting the wacky Brewster McCloud (1970). Associates of his had run into Duvall at a party in Houston, which she was throwing to sell paintings by Bernard Sampson, who was soon to become her husband.

The director called her in for a meeting, and thought she was feigning bewilderment when she seemed not to understand why she was there. He asked her to read for him. “What’s that mean?” she said.

“She had these eyelashes painted on her face, weighed about four pounds,” he recalled. “I decided to shoot a test, so I took her out in the park and put a camera on her and just asked her questions. I was really quite mean to her, as I thought she was an actress. But she wasn’t kidding; that was her. She was a truthful, untrained person.”

The producer Lou Adler, who was also at that meeting, noted that she “looked like a flower”, and said: “She had the most amazing amount of energy I’d ever seen in anyone.”

Altman cast her as a Houston Astrodome guide who sleeps with and subsequently betrays the film’s title character, a young dreamer yearning to fly. A small part as a mail-order bride followed in the elegiac western McCabe & Mrs Miller (1971). Duvall was taken under the wing of that picture’s star, Julie Christie, who, Altman said, “taught her a lot��.

It was on the Depression-era crime drama Thieves Like Us (1974) that Duvall first proved that she was more than just an unusual face. Adapted from the same Edward Anderson novel that inspired Nicholas Ray’s 1948 classic They Live By Night, it starred Duvall as Keechie, the unwitting moll of a goofy amateur gangster (Keith Carradine).

She was raw and uninhibited, her eyes crowded with love-hearts, her nerve endings seemingly exposed. The critic Pauline Kael fell hard for her: “She melts indifference,” Kael wrote. “You’re unable to repress your response; you go right to her in delight, saying ‘I’m yours’… she seems able to be herself on the screen in a way that nobody has ever been before … Her charm appears to be totally without affectation.”

Lily Tomlin, who starred with her in Altman’s next film, Nashville (1975), where Duvall played a country music groupie, called her work in Thieves Like Us “transcendent. She’s sitting on the porch drinking a Coke in a swing, and Keith Carradine is coming on to her, and she’s so innocent. The way she played that – so sweet and funny and heartbreaking. It just killed me.”

She had a minor role as the wife of President Grover Cleveland in Altman’s irreverent western Buffalo Bill and the Indians (1976). But it was in his woozy psychological drama 3 Women (1977) that she did her most layered and mysterious work. She plays Millie Lammoreaux, a bossy-boots carer at a Palm Springs rehabilitation facility for elderly people. Taking the innocent Pinky (Sissy Spacek) under her wing as co-worker and room-mate, Millie is a picture of delusion, fancying herself a gal-about-town and the belle of the ball. A narrative fracture midway through the film heralds an abrupt reversal that puts Millie in the submissive role.

Duvall, who wrote extensive diary entries, letters and meal recipes in character as preparation, won the best actress prize at the Cannes film festival. It was this performance, too, that inspired Kubrick to cast her in The Shining. “I like the way you cry,” he said.

She was born in Fort Worth, Texas, to Bobbie Ruth Crawford (nee Massengale), who worked in real estate, and Robert Duvall, who was a cattle auctioneer before working as an insurance salesman. The family moved around constantly during Shelley’s early years; by the time they finally settled in their first house in Houston, the five-year-old was so used to living in hotels that she asked her mother where the elevator was.

Her father trained as a criminal lawyer and eventually became a judge. Shelley was educated at Waltrip high school where she showed an interest in performing at an early age, but once fled the stage during a talent contest after forgetting her lines. She later heard her parents outside her bedroom door, speculating that she may not be talented after all.

“That was definitely a turning point in my life,” she said. “I guess that might have inspired me to be an overachiever. I never felt the need to prove myself out of revenge; I wanted to contribute something, to make my life count.”

She pursued an interest in science at South Texas Junior College, but dropped out after a fellow student held a vivisected monkey close to her face.

Most of her first decade as an actor was dominated by her work with Altman, although she also made the occasional television appearance, including the lead role in Joan Micklin Silver’s adaptation of F Scott Fitzgerald’s Bernice Bobs Her Hair (1976).

In Annie Hall (1977), she had a memorable bit-part as a vacuous rock journalist who describes sex with Woody Allen’s character as “a Kafka-esque experience”. She was bags of fun in Terry Gilliam’s century-hopping comedy-adventure Time Bandits (1981), in which she and Michael Palin formed a daft double-act playing two pairs of upper-class twits in different centuries.

She also became known to a new generation as the creator and host of Faerie Tale Theatre, which ran from 1982 to 1987. The series reinterpreted classic stories, helped popularise cable television, and featured performers such as Joan Collins, Carrie Fisher, Mick Jagger, Liza Minnelli, Vanessa Redgrave and Christopher Reeve; among the directors Duvall hired were Tim Burton, Francis Ford Coppola, Roger Vadim and Eric Idle. As well as introducing each episode, she appeared in a handful of roles, including Rapunzel opposite Jeff Bridges as the Prince and Gena Rowlands as the Witch.

The show was the first in a string of projects for children – including albums, further series and the 1990 TV special Mother Goose Rock’n’Rhyme – which were all originated by her.

She starred in Burton’s morbidly inventive short film Frankenweenie (1984), which put a canine spin on Mary Shelley, and was a joyful addition to Roxanne (1987), Steve Martin’s comic update of Cyrano de Bergerac, in which she played the hero’s confidante.

She had despairingly little to do in Suburban Commando (1991), a vehicle for the wrestler Hulk Hogan, but later appeared in Steven Soderbergh’s thriller The Underneath (1995), Jane Campion’s film of Henry James’s The Portrait of a Lady (1996) and the Canadian avant-gardist Guy Maddin’s Twilight of the Ice Nymphs (1997).

After that, there were no roles of note, and no screen credits whatsoever between the comedy Manna from Heaven (2002) and the horror film The Forest Hills (2023).

It was during this two-decade gap that articles on the theme of “Where Is She Now?” surfaced periodically. Curiosity was replaced by pity and horror after her appearance in 2016 looking confused and bedraggled on the daytime talk show Dr Phil. The episode, widely regarded as exploitative, was titled A Hollywood Star’s Descent Into Mental Illness: Saving The Shining’s Shelley Duvall. She was heard claiming to have received messages from her late Popeye co-star Robin Williams. She said: “I’m very sick. I need help.”

It was true that she had serious problems, including diabetes and mental health issues. In the absence of more concrete explanations, rumours that her fragile state could be blamed on The Shining began to fill the vacuum. But a New York Times profile from earlier this year made it plain that Kubrick had nothing to do with it, and that a likelier explanation for her protracted disappearance and decline was a series of shocks and traumas including a 1994 earthquake that had damaged her home in Los Angeles, and the pressure of having to return to Texas to care for one of her three brothers, who was ill.

She is survived by the musician Dan Gilroy, her partner of more than 30 years. Her marriage to Sampson ended in divorce in 1974.

🔔 Shelley Alexis Duvall, actor, born 7 July 1949; died 11 July 2024

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at Just for Books…?

[coaadra]

Oh yes, I'm here again and I have something to say.

To say that the finale of season 4 was not easy for me, it's nothing to say. I am so devastated and at the same time filled with different feelings that it is difficult to put it into words...

I think we'll talk about the good stuff first.

Episodes 20 and 21 are definitely good and the two moments that clearly won my heart were the farewell conversation between Killian and Emma before going to New York, and of course the kiss (episode 20) and their conversation near the water (episode 21).

Killian: You have parents, Henry… Emma: You. I have you. Killian: Yes, you have me. And I have you.

This dialogue made my feelings skyrocket. I just melt from their interactions and nothing will make me change my mind..

My love for Hook only grows with each passing season. I don’t remember that at any point in the series I was really DISAPPOINTED in him. And this says a lot...

I'll miss these moments in the next two episodes, but enough is enough.

episode 22-23 My nightmare began from the beginning of episode 22 and, unexpectedly, it was not hysterics from grief, it was a clear indicator of hysterical laughter. WHAT ABOUT SNOW WHITE? SHE blatantly DOESN'T LOOK LIKE REGINA. THE DARK QUEEN'S STYLE ABSOLUTELY DID NOT LIKE HER AND I WAS READY TO DIE ONLY FROM LAUGHTER, BUT NOT FROM FEAR. AND OH MY GOD WE CAN'T FORGET ABOUT RUMPELSTILTSKEN. ALSO A CHARACTER 100% FOR SIT AND LAUGH.. This couple clearly broke all my records regarding “the strangest and most unimaginable couples in the entire series”

Freaks of season 4 - they are the winners.

Well, now the time has come for real suffering. And not only mе, but also the characters in general.

How painful it was to watch Emma, ​​who literally got reacquainted with the person she loves so much, and he doesn’t even know her… And in general, my surprise knew no bounds when SUCH Killian was shown on the screen. Not at all brave, sober without his rum and so indecisive… Of course, I (naive, terminally stupid.) was waiting for an adequate continuation and development of their relationship in a new way, yes, I really love how Hook flirts with Emma, ​​BUT WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT EXPECTED ME

Which smart guy came up with this and why?... I admit honestly, I assured myself at the very beginning and said to myself: “This series will not make you cry, dear. No amount of love for a character will make you shed a tear.” BUT DAMMIT, who knew that there would be such a charming Killian, whom I love with all my heart..

I, of course, suspect that this is not his last death. (Thanks to spoilers on tiktok and here) And this only makes me feel worse. I'm afraid that the more I see him die, the more painful it will be for me every time. The only one the writers made fun of was Hook. How much he has already suffered in 4 seasons and how many more trials await him in the future.

And yet my tears did not end there, although it would have been very nice. The second wave of hysterics and sobs came when Emma came to Regina and mentioned Killian's death there. I, like her, couldn’t restrain myself and sat crying, hugging napkins..

And even now, while I’m writing this post, I want to cry (knowing that this raiding is alive)..My Emma... ​​she managed to feel so much during this time. Although, to be honest, I was really angry at her the next time she and Hook met.

I think that at that moment I, like any reasonable person, was waiting for the cherished words "I. LOVE. YOU" from Emma. "Sod's Law!" This didn't happen, of course. What else was I waiting for...

“But why not say this at such a dangerous moment?!” Emma thought, and then she said that she loved Hook, even though she ABSOLUTELY DIDN’T KNOW WHAT COULD HAPPEN TO HER. And everyone is fine. And nothing bothers anyone...

I think I'm done...

It’s difficult to sum it up. In some places, I’m clearly tired of this series, probably because there are so many events and I simply don’t have time to consume all the information.

I know for sure that I am not tired of the Killian and Emma couple. I also know that I want to see more of the Regina and Robin couple, and I am completely disappointed in Gold.

It seems that I forgot to mention another important character this season, especially in the last episodes. It's definitely Henry. Firstly, I like that he has matured; it makes him seem even cuter and smarter. Secondly, I really enjoyed the moments where he tried to explain to all the characters that they live in Storybrooke and that he is, in fact, Regina’s son.

The ending evokes many emotions, yet they are more positive than negative. I am going to watch season 5 with renewed strength and expectations. If Emma becomes a dark magician, I REALLY want to see it.

[slynbarnes]

Embers: Season 3 Episodes 1-10

S3 E1: 

(You are alone, sitting at the mirror in your room putting in your little diamond stud earrings. You look down and touch the charm bracelet on your wrist rubbing at the little ferris wheel.)  

B: It’s time to go, doll.

Y/N: (You nod, a few more tears falling from your eyes.) 

B: We are all here for you. You won’t be alone. (He reassures you.) 

Y/N: Is Lucas ready? (Your voice comes out small and hushed.) 

L: I’m right here mom. (His voice comes out quiet from just behind Bucky. Lucas is having a bit of a hard time with Leo being gone. Despite the fact he wants his parents together he actually liked Leo as a person.) 

B: (Rubs small circles on Lucas’ back to calm his nerves.) We are all ready. The team is downstairs trying to figure out who is riding with who. 

Y/N: So you are all waiting on me?

B: No, we still have 15 minutes before we have to leave or we will be late but we should leave a little earlier, just in case of traffic.

Y/N: Okay. Can I have just a moment alone? I will meet you downstairs in 5.

B: Of course. (Looks to Lucas) Come on buddy, let’s go find Uncle Steve.

(After the boys leave you take a moment to yourself, a few more tears escaping down your cheeks.) 

S3 E2:

(The funeral) 

(Everyone is saying kind words and sharing memories but your mind keeps finding itself in that moment, the moment he fell to the floor and ceased to exist. You can hear Mia crying hysterically only a few people away from you being held by her grandmother Celia. You know you will have to say a few words, you want to, you want to apologize for what happened and for not fighting him harder, fighting for him harder and for letting everyone convince you to let him come on that stupid mission with you.) 

Y/N: (You slowly walk towards the head of his casket next to the picture of him, your hand brushing along his face and the wreath of white flowers matching those on his casket.) Hi, I-I am y/n. I am- was Leo’s girlfriend… Leo is.. was… a very special person. Full of life and energy and most of all love. Love for the people around him, his beautiful daughter Mia, for life itself, his family… and me. Leo was always happy to be alive and he never took a single day for granted. He made the best of every bad situation and persevered through it all. He was brave down to his last moments. There is so much I wish I could have said to him, so much I wish I would have done differently. (You can feel the lump in your throat grow, you cant get the rest of your words out.) I…I wish… He um…(Tears threaten your eyes, burning. You feel hands wrap around you pulling you away. Pulling you to the back of the crowds. When you finally look up you can see Buck’s tags and immediately know you are safe. Emotionally safe.) It’s all my fault. (You whisper.) 

B: It wasn’t you, Hydra is the only one at fault here. 

Y/N: I pulled the trigger. (You quietly sob into his chest.) 

(A small somber voice speaks next behind you. When you look up you can see people staring and whispering at you.) 

?: Clearly she didn’t care about Leo all that much if she is in another man’s arms so soon. The audacity she has to do it publicly and at his funeral too. 

?: Wasn’t she the one who killed him? 

?: Yeah, I heard he was helping the Avengers and she killed him instead of the bad guys. 

?: She should be ashamed of herself for coming here.

Mia: (Next to the casket as it lowers into the ground.) I want my Daddy…(She falls to the ground sobbing.) I love you daddy. 

(Watching Mia cry over her father breaks something deep inside you, you are the reason she is an orphan… your the reason she is grieving again. Her voice crying out for him is one you will never forget.) 

S3 E3:

(You, Bucky and Lucas are walking back to the car together when Mia and Celia (Her grandmother) run into you.) 

Mia: How could you? I thought you loved my dad?

Y/N: (Your voice begins to shake) I did… I do. Mia, I-

Mia: NO! You killed my father! 

Y/N: Mia, I never wanted to hurt him… 

Mia: But you did and now he is gone forever! You are a murderer! You are no hero! 

Y/N: (Kneeling to her level.) If I could take it all back, I promise you I would.

Mia: I wish he never had met you!

Y/N: Me too… (You mutter under your breath.) 

Celia: I think thats enough, sweetheart. I don’t want you getting too worked up. Let’s go home.

(They both take the last few steps to their car and Celia gets Mia in the car before turning back to you. She walks back to where you are now standing.) 

Celia: (Clears her throat getting your attention from Bucky who is holding you as you cry.) 

Y/N: (You turn around to see her standing there) Celia?

Celia: I thought you may want to know that he had this in his pocket the day he died. (She pulls a small box out from her jacket pocket and your heart drops into your stomach.) He was going to ask you to marry him. He had talked to me a few weeks prior saying he was just waiting for the right time. He may not have been the best at showing his feelings especially after Sarah but he fell head first in love with you. So I hope that you always carry the guilt of killing my son with you. (She then walked away leaving you with the ring in hand. Leaving you completely at a loss for words.)  

S3 E4: 

(Month One: Guilt/Depression) 

(Inner monologue thoughts: I should have let him kill me… But what about Lucas… But I still took Mia’s only parent, Lucas at least would have had Buck…This is all my fault… I never should have let him come with. Tony, Wanda, Bucky, Nat, Thor, Bruce, Scott, Sam, Steve, and Clint come to check on you, rotating out watching over you.)

(You have been laying in bed for days crying. Nothing is pulling you from your guilt.) 

W: (Sitting on the bed next to you) I know this is hard Y/N. But you have to know that you had an impossible choice to make. 

(You sniffle but stay quiet, waiting for her to leave.) 

(Bucky has been with you everyday since his death, not leaving your side unless he was taking care of Lucas. He even is sleeping in your room on the floor just to keep an eye on you.) 

(A few days later) 

Clint: Y/N? I just wanted to come in and see how you were holding up. (He sits next to you as you lay silent. He places a hand on your shoulder, making you sob a little harder.) I know how hard this has to be for you. We all are here for you and are worried about you. I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better but just know you will never be alone. 

(You still stay silent) 

Y/N: (*In your own thoughts*) I should have let him kill me… Mia is right, I am no hero. I am everything Hydra made me to be. I’m the villain. I killed an innocent man. 

(Most have been trying to give you space while others watched over you but, everyone knows you just need some time. They all know what it’s like to take someone’s life but this is different you took the man you loved life from him, you orphaned a child. They can only imagine what your going through.) 

(A week later) 

BB: Y/N, I’m coming in. I brought you a glass of water. (He says sitting down next to you.) I was thinking that maybe, just maybe it would be good for you to talk to someone. Anyone really. This isn’t good for you.

(You ignore him, you don’t want to talk. Not to him or to Wanda or anyone and especially not a therapist.) 

(Bruce leaves just as Nat and Scott enter.) 

Scott: Hey bestie, you don’t look so good.

N: We brought you some tea, we thought you may like it a little better than the water Bruce brought you. 

Scott: We miss you Y/N. 

N: We all do. Especially Lucas, he is always asking about his momma. 

(You take the cup from Nat but still stay quiet. You make it clear you don’t plan to speak so they leave it there and let you be.) 

(11 days later.) 

T: Hey kid, I know you don’t want to talk to anyone but… (He says kneeling in front of you so he can see your teary eyed face.) as your big brother, I am becoming more and more worried about you. It’s been almost a month and you haven't spoken a word since the funeral. Bucky told me you have refused most all of your meals, which isn’t hard to see. You look frail. We need you back y/n. (He reaches over brushing a piece of your hair from you face a placing a kiss on your forehead.) I love you kid, I hate seeing you hurting so much. 

S3 E5:

(Month Two: Anger/Depression) 

(Its been a week since anyone has come to visit, your sure they are out on missions and that’s fine by you. Maybe everyone is taking the hint that talking wont make you feel any better. Bucky still hasn’t left your side, he has brought you food and somedays he even has brought Lucas to see you thinking maybe it would help both him and you. He kept Lucas away trying not to let him see you so upset but he doesn’t know what else to do.) 

W: (Walks in quietly and sits in the chair in front of you. Wanda knows you dont want to talk so she doesn’t say a word.) 

Y/N: (*In your thoughts*) Would people just leave me the hell alone. 

W: No. 

Y/N: (You glare at her)(*In your thoughts*) Get out of my head Wanda. 

W: (She smiles at you.) 

Y/N: Get out of my room Wanda and stay the hell out of my head. (You growl at her.) 

W: (Wanda leaves and stays clear of your mind just like you asked, she got what she wanted anyhow. You spoke. She walks across the hall where Bucky is at the door watching Lucas draw.) Hey..

B: Hi Wanda. 

W: We made progress. 

B: What do you mean?

W: She spoke. Out loud and in her thoughts.

B: What did she say? 

W: She is angry, she told me to get the hell out and to stay out of her head. 

B: (He laughs a little.) She never liked talking when she was sad unless someone pissed her off or unless I made her smile. Making her smile when she was sad always made her mad too but hey it works. 

W: So that means she is still in there.

B: Yeah, she is. She just needs time. (Looks back into the room) Lucas? 

L: Yeah? 

B: You want to see your mom?

L: Yeah! 

(Bucky takes Lucas over to let him climb in bed with you. You immediately snuggle up with him, your whole body relaxes now that your boy is with you.) 

(A few weeks Later) 

B: Hey, doll. I brought you some dinner. 

Y/N: (Stays quiet.) 

B: It was good, you know, Wanda made it. 

Y/N: I don’t want to eat. 

B: She speaks. (He smiles.) 

Y/N: Just go away James. 

B: Oh so I’m James now? 

Y/N: Yes because you won’t leave me alone. 

B: (He takes a deep breath knowing what he is about to do is a risk but he has to try.) You don’t want to be left alone. You just want to let yourself feel miserable but not tonight. (He wraps his arms under you, pulling you tight against him so he can hold you.) Tonight you are going to eat and then rest. And I will make sure you don’t feel alone for a second of that. (He whispers in your ear.) 

(You begin to cry again. You can’t remember the last time someone held you like this. Allowed you to feel comfort. Usually you are the one trying to hold everything together but not tonight. Tonight you get to be the one held together.) 

S3 E6: 

(Month 2: Anger) 

T: Hey sis.

Y/N: Go away Tony, I don’t want to talk. 

T: Fine then listen, I don’t like being the one to have to say this but you need some tough love right now. We all have lost someone on the job. We all have been there but we keep moving, keep doing our job and helping people. You have a son to think about Y/N. You can’t keep laying in this bed starving yourself, and drinking all day letting yourself waste away. Lucas needs you. We all do. We all miss you and hate seeing you like this. We all are aware of how hard it all is but its been 2 months of you torturing yourself. It’s enough. Clean yourself up, you stink. Get yourself ready and come join us for lunch. 

Y/N: (You turn over and stand up out of bed, looking directly at him.) You really think you know what it’s like Tony? (You snipe at him) You don’t. None of you do! You all save others and always have been heroes. Me? No. I am a killer. I have taken more lives than I would like to ever admit. I am a trained assassin from a nazi terrorist group. I was an idiot to think that I could ever escape my past by trying to move forward with someone normal. And look what happened. I was in danger running from my past yet again and even when I tried to do the right thing, I ended up killing the man I loved! I took away a girl's only living parent! I orphaned a child! I had the choice to kill myself or him and I made the wrong decision! But then again they would have just tortured him like they did me and Bucky if I would have killed myself and Mia still wouldn’t have a father. No matter what I did I was the villain. Me! You and the rest of the avengers may have had casualties in battle but I made the conscious decision to put the gun to his head and end Leo’s life! So stop trying to act like you all know what this is like! You don’t and you never will. The only thing anyone has been right about is that the decision was impossible but you will never understand the guilt. Leo never should have been on that mission! So no! I don’t want to come eat lunch with everyone and act like I didn’t murder my boyfriend. I can’t. I- I deserve to feel it all. As for my son, his father and him are fine without me. I am no good to him like this anyhow and I don’t know when I will be.

T: You’re right we don’t know what that's like. But you are wrong about it being your fault. Hydra took your choices away. They put you in that impossible situation. You couldn’t have known that they would do that. 

Y/N: Actually I did. I knew that there were risks, risks like that and that's why I said I didn’t want him going but he insisted and I didn’t fight him. I am guilty Tony. Of so much more than anyone even knows… 

T: Well, then why don’t you tell us? Help us understand. 

Y/N: (You let out a sob) Because if you all knew... It would make it real. You would look at me differently if you knew. 

S3 E7: 

(TIME JUMP: 2 ½ MONTHS LATER. AKA almost 5 months after Leo’s death.) 

(In the meeting room) 

T: We have to do something. She isn’t telling us all of the story, she isn’t eating, or talking, she won’t leave her bed or her room and she is angry all the time. It’s been almost 5 months since the mission, she needs to be better. 

N: She threw a plate at me the last time I tried to talk to her so I’m with you on that one. 

B: Can’t take a plate Nat? (He jokes trying to lighten the mood.) 

N: I can handle it but she is out of control. 

B: I know. (He is much more serious this time) 

BB: I tried to give her an IV to Hydrate her so she doesn’t die on us and she poked me with the needle… I know she is hurting and wants to let herself die in there but someone needs to get through to her. 

T: I tried and she yelled at me… She has a point about some of it though. We haven’t been exactly where she is.

W: Yeah, she does. Did anyone tell her that we got the charges dropped? 

B: No, she feels guilty and believes she deserves to be punished so I haven't told her yet. I’m scared it might piss her off. 

N: Someone has to. Her name is cleared, nobody sees her at fault for what happened… except for Leo’s family but they were not in the room when HE made the decision to go on this mission even though HE knew there were risks. 

S: Bucky may be the only one to get through to her. I think it has to be him. She loves us and we love her but Buck, you and y/n have something far deeper than the rest of us have with her. 

W: Ain’t that the truth. (She says knowingly.) 

S: She trusts you enough to let you close, even when she is being distant. She’s been letting you sleep next to her for a while now without trying to physically harm you or yell at you. 

T: Steve’s right, Barnes. You are the only one she hasn’t yelled at or tried to harm and she allows you to stay close by. You have to be the one to do it. 

B: Okay. I will try. What are we going to do about Hydra? They have stayed quiet all these months and we barely made it out of there. They had Steve, Clint, and Nat in pretty rough shape and obviously they took Leo, taking him out. Making y/n do it, that took her out and the rest of us had to clean up the mess. We got lucky to take our old branch down but there are far more that would gladly come after my family. We may have taken one head but we know their motto. Hydra will come at us again and we can’t just be sitting ducks. We need a plan.

S: Right now we need to focus on getting our teammate back after that we will come up with a plan.

T: For now we just keep our guards up. Keep the building on lockdown and stay in communication. Hydra has laid low on this for some time now so as long as we don’t go looking for trouble and we have our guards up we should be fine. Any questions?

Everyone: No.

T: Go on with your day.

B: (Stands up) I think I may have an idea. She is not going to like it. So if she tries to kill me or you hear screaming just keep on with your day.

S3 E8: 

(Bucky walks into your room, you still are in the same spot he left you an hour ago. He walks over and without a word scoops you up into his arms bridal style.) 

Y/N: What are you doing? Set me down! 

B: Nope. I know you are blaming yourself, doll. I did the same thing everytime they would torture you because I would refuse to hurt you myself. And the time they told me to kill you and if I didn’t they would wipe me? Yeah, I have been there in those impossible decisions. Put myself through hell or kill the woman I am in love with. I know the guilt you feel because when they decided to torture you I knew that it’s because of me. The thing is if I did what they had asked, you would have been dead. For me, you dying is worse than me dying because I would have had to live with it and without you but watching them torture you and hearing your screams killed me. Hydra loves their lose lose situations. I am done letting you torture youself for something out of your control. I know it hurts babydoll but don’t let it kill you. 

(Bucky sets you in the tub and starts running nice hot water as he strips you down. Tears flow down your face as you realize the one person who has never left your side actually does understand. How you didn’t remember all that you're not sure but he was right. They put him in compromising positions all the time. He may not have killed you but he tortured himself they same way you are now.) 

(You sit in the tub as Bucky washes your hair and detangles it. The hot water feeling nice on your tense, aching muscles and over your stale skin.) 

Y/N: Thank you. 

B: (Smiles.) I told you, I’m always here for you no matter what. (He says as he finishes getting you out of the tub and finding your clothes.) 

S3 E9:

(That night you can’t sleep so you sneak out of your room down to the kitchen for a drink after noticing Bucky had left to either check in on Lucas or go to get some sleep for himself since he has been taking care of things for so long now, which you feel horrible about, he is probably exhausted.) 

Y/N: FUCK ME! God… you scared me. (You nearly fall on your ass jumping back when you realize you're not alone.) 

B: Well, if you’re asking I wouldn’t be opposed.

Y/N: BUCK!

B: You said it!

Y/N: Not like that… (You say blushing, a small giggle slips through the cracks of your smile.) 

B: Oh so she laughs. (He happily points out.) 

Y/N: And somehow you would be the one person to get me to crack. (You roll your eyes, the smile still cracking at your lips.) 

B: I know you hate smiling when you're upset but, I have to admit I have really missed hearing that beautiful laugh of yours.

Y/N: (You smile) I missed it too…(You admit.) Buck… I’m really sorry. 

B: Don’t apologize. 

Y/N: No, I need to. Thank you for stepping up with Lucas. I have been a terrible mother. Actually, I haven't even been a mother all these months. You are an amazing father Buck. I couldn’t have done this without you. I have a lot of apologies to make, but you deserve to be the first. You never gave up on me. Even when I gave up on myself. 

B: That’s because I get what you're feeling, I know it’s hard but I knew with time you would be okay. You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. 

Y/N: I don’t feel like it. 

B: (Wrapping you up in his arms) You have been fighting for your life since you were a teenager. You have been through hell and yet you are still standing here today and that takes strength, my doll. Everyone has moments of weakness but you keep going and that is what makes you so strong. 

Y/N: You are the best. 

B: I know. 

Y/N: (Laughs) 

B: Please don’t ever stop laughing again. I really did miss it. (He kisses your temple.) 

Y/N: Okay.. but only because you asked.

S3 E10: 

(You're in the training room alone, trying to start getting back in shape after the last few months but your mind floods with memories of you and Leo.) 

(Montage)

[koishua]

❍. °· “ 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. ”

→ choi beomgyu x gn!reader. 0.568k words. i wrote this in a pretty ugly headspace, so boom. angst. as always, beware as there are allusions to death. i cried twice while writing this short piece and had to take a break both times, so it's one of my heavier works for me personally and idek why haha anyways try to enjoy, because my heart certainly did. it was a cathartic experience. also as always i would appreciate a quick feedback <3

→ you and beomgyu talk about the future by the ocean.

The waves crash onto the shore in a beautiful cacophony, scenic and peaceful as you stand hand in hand with Choi Beomgyu. The clouds drift languidly, soft white wisps decorating the bluer than blue sky and the gulls dance above your heads, cawing over the sea. It’s a day not just of any kind— calm, as though not a single thing is wrong within the world you reside in. As though not a single worry plagues your mind, the only feelings you welcome are those of his fingers clasped around your palm and the soft breeze sweeping up your clothes, brushing against your exposed skin.

“We should get a house around here.” 

Beomgyu is a charming man, soft spoken when he needs to, bold when the situation plays in his favour, kind and easy to get along with. At times stubborn, though he has never been afraid to show his vulnerabilities with you. You’ve seen his thousand faces, yet none has ever made your heart tremble in the way it does in this exact moment. So fragile, yet hopeful to a fault.

Your eyes find his and you squeeze his hand, exchanging weak smiles. With a full heart you accept the gentle kiss he presses on the crown of your head, closing your eyes as you bask in his safe and comforting presence. His touch is enough to make your heart ache— throbbing and heavy, as though it’s been crushed under the weight of everything dreary in existence.

“We should.” You reply, quiet and mournfully. 

The man in your presence hums a simple tune, swinging your arms back and forth lazily as you approach the very edge of the rocky path. You are now surrounded by the water almost on all sides. “You think we might find one within the next month or two?”

You don’t have any other choice than to entertain his musings, nodding with a faint chuckle, “Maybe. If we do, then that’d be amazing.”

A shiver racks your entire body, leaving you to sink onto your knees as you hold back from crying out a choked sob. It’s impossible to stop the onslaught of tears that fight their way down your cheeks, staining the light grey asphalt into a darker shade. There is an unobstructable force squeezing the heart you’ve been left to take care of alone.

“Why are you so sad, my love?” He asks, a concerned look etched on his face.

Oh, how it hurts to watch as the man you love with your everything fade away into nothing— gradually, bit by bit. The haze in your mind clouds your thoughts as you scream above the waves that seem to be rising, intent on drowning you under them. It’s his name that tears beyond your lips, anguished and agonisingly. No one is around to hear your hysterical cries, desperate and downright deafening.

His voice rings distantly in your ears once again. “Don’t cry, my beautiful. I love you.”

Afraid to open your eyes to see your vision of him gone again, you try to tame your hiccups, hands clutching your arms in a self soothing hug. It’s a dangerously peaceful day and it hurts to open your eyes. It’s not a beautiful world, not a single ounce of desire left in you to go on living in it.

It’s not beautiful, no, not when he’s not here to hold your hands anymore.

[ © 𝐊𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐔𝐀 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐, 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 ] [ 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 / 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆! ]

taglist batch one: @junityy @99outros @heejojo @mark-lees-world @strwberrydinosaur @yourlocalhotgf @jdyunvrs @jitaros @luvholicz @spookybias @envirae @renjunvrse @iuwon @rae-blogging @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @astaia @glorybeom @tyongishs @wccycc @twntycm @sooblvr @icywhatim @yutaalove @yjwfav @yyxy27 @eternallyhyucks @w3bqrl @moontines @rielleluvs @not-camila @todorokiskitten @enha-hwajinna @jungwoniics @jayk2511 @ifwtyun @ily-cuz-i @misah0e @squiishymeow @enhacolor @clarakyunisageek @ahnneyong

[yandere--stuck]

Hello, okay I. am. Obsessed. With you’re joker fics 💕💕💞💞 if you ever write anymore don’t be shy to tag me in them if you want. Kay? :D

Have a nice day! :DDDD

@thephantomnoseblower

Aaaaaa thank you so so much!! I'm so glad you like them! Also I'm so happy to meet another Joker Liker. He's the best!! 💚💚💚

And! You inspired me to write more, so I made some general Yandere!J Headcanons. I hope you like them ^^

---

💜 When it came to love, the Clown Prince of Crime could find it most anywhere, if he looked hard enough. In his mortal enemy, in his former psychiatrist, and… In you. You don't have to be anyone of particular importance, or of a particular personality - really, Joker could build rapport and hit it off with most anyone. Or, at least, that's what he believed. Joker liked you, grew to love you, exactly as you were. After all, you accepted him and took him exactly as he was, without pleading to be let go or have mercy, begging him to change and reform. No, no, no, you were different. Sweet. Charming. Funny!

🃏It's a hostage situation, when he first met you, got real up close and personal with you. The other hostages all trembled and whimpered in the corner, looked over by his men. But you seemed calm, whether you were brave enough or so afraid you had gone frozen didn't really matter. It was a bore waiting for the news crew and the Bat, so he went around, talking to the civilians - a mix between making idle chat and intimidating them to tears. None of them could bother to even speak, some bursting into tears. Finally, he made his way over to you, kneeling down to your level. "How about you, dear? How's your night going?" Your heart rabitted within your chest. You could barely breathe, but you tried to steel yourself. Show no fear. You managed to exhale with hyperventilating, a breathy chuckle escaping your throat. "Eh, could be better, I'm not gonna lie." The Clown snickered, which egged you on. This was good, right? You continued, "It's my first time as a hostage, so I hope I'm doing it right." The Joker beamed as he barked out a laugh. "You're doing just fine! At least someone here has a good sense of humor."

💚 It wasn't long before police helicopters began to swarm the building the Joker had stashed you in. Through the glass exterior of the high rise, you watched as the choppers circled the building, circled the Joker and his men, circled you and your fellow hostages. Somehow, dread managed to sink even further into the pit of your stomach. The GCPD had a poor reputation for a reason - filled with corrupt, crooked, and reckless cops. The entire police force was filled with more bad apples than good. Someone here was going to get hurt. God, why couldn't they have just waited for Batman to deal with this?! Through the glass, you could hear the voice of an officer shout something unintelligible. The Joker turned to one of his men, tilting his head toward the copter. "Tell 'em I'm not talking to anyone but Bats." The lackey seemed to hesitate, but only for a second, fumbling to pick up a speakerphone while also keeping his weapon in hand. He approached the chopper, stepping out onto the balcony, raising the speakerphone- and you let out a scream as a shot rang in the air, the man flying back as he was shot.

💜 The other hostages descended into hysterics as Joker's men began firing back at the chopper. "And I thought I was crazy," The Joker spat. "I thought these guys were supposed to be protecting you." You winced as glass shattered, shards exploding into the room. You opened your eyes, staring straight down the barrel of the helicopter's aerial gun- and in an instant you were pulled away, pressed against a solid chest as you were pulled away. You began to hyperventilate, heart beating so hard you could barely comprehend what was happening, vision swimming as you began to lose consciousness in your panic. As your vision faded, Joker's visage came into view. You felt a hand cup the side of your face. And then, it all went black.

🃏 You woke up not long after. People don't really stay passed out after fainting, just a minute or two, really. Long enough for police to storm the building and find you, taking you to safety. You were transferred to a hospital, where you were overlooked. You had minor cuts and bruises, the only major damage being that of psychological trauma. Before they released you, you watched a news report of the crime - the one you had just been a victim of. The Joker had managed to escape. Most of his men were taken out. It was a miracle that none of the other hostages hadn't died, and Gordon reprimanded his men and their reckless actions. But, you knew nothing would change. In spite of the traumatic experience you had been through, you knew you couldn't seek help for it. Mental health was a very, very touchy subject in Gotham. If someone caught you going to therapy, they'd probably think you're just one bad day away from becoming Gotham's next supercriminal. Life returned to relative normalcy… Until you received a package. It was specifically labeled "CARE PACKAGE" on the side in black marker. It was heavy, slightly damp at the bottom, had a foul odor, and had no return address. You hesitated, not knowing what to do with it… Before deciding to bite the bullet and open it. It contained a bouquet of flowers, (containing one trick flower that spurted out water, drenching your face), a whoopee cushion, a teddy bear, a heart-shaped box of chocolates, and… Your eyes widened in horror and disgust. The last three items were a note, a Joker playing card, and… A human heart. You hesitantly reached in, making sure not to touch the organ as you did, shaking as you read the note. "So sorry the other night, my dear! I didn't expect things to get quite so hairy. Those animals! If they had hurt a hair on your head, it'd be no more Mr. Nice Joker! I wanted to check in on you and make sure you're doing well. I know that if I don't get proper care after something nasty, I go a bit looney, myself. I just wanted to look out for my favorite hostage! … And perhaps, something more? See you soon, love. ~ J" Oh, God. Oh, God. Your legs went weak as you slowly sunk to the floor. You suddenly realized you had been crying.

💚 Joker liked you. Joker more than liked you. After your first meeting, he couldn't get you out of his head. He was obsessed! He was… In love. He was so glad that Harley understood and was supportive. You and he were meant to be. He'd ask Harley or his men to spy on you, gathering the information they knew. What you liked, your schedule, your favorite foods, what made you laugh. And if he got any word that his fellow Rogues were targeting places you frequented, they'd get an earful from him! And a bullet to the brain if they didn't take him seriously… He couldn't let harm come to you. And he had to make it perfect for when he finally took you home, with him. Forever.

[books-and-catears]

Right everyone hold on to your feels, you will shortly be boarding Angst Express 101. Just look at this brilliant and angsty ask I'm speechless. Even the pairings you asked for are so unique and well thought this is a perfect angst concept. And I really hope I could do this justice. Thank you so much for this ask @saltypaperdestiny

So very sorry for the delay, this was the longest ask I've ever written and boy was I delighted. Though I have to admit I had to cry through some of them myself. This is PART 1. Rest of the brothers and the newly Dateables coming soon in part 2.

Who loved you first? Pt1

Lucifer : Simeon

It was time, he decided. After months of being in your presence, his prideful heart had melted enough to recognise his feelings for you. You were the only he'd truly humble down for, because the affection and care you displayed was unparalled.

"MC please get dressed in something nice. I'm taking you to Ristorante Six as a thank you for helping me with Cerebus and the council paperwork" He says to you, barely containing the excitement. He couldn't wait to see the look on your face when he confessed and how you'd blush when you kissed your knuckles and your cheek and wait - What is Simeon doing in your room at this hour?

He didn't want to interrupt, surely it might be nothing to bother about. He patiently waited outside until he heard what Simeon said.

Simeon: MC... You look beautiful, what's the occasion?

MC: Aw thank you Simeon. You're always so kind. It's nothing much, Lucifer is taking me out as a thank you.

Simeon: Oh do you have to leave right away...?

MC: Oh no no. It's okay I have some more time.

Simeon: Well I originally came here to invite you to try Luke's latest attempt at some new recipes but now there's something else I feel like I must tell you. *Blushes* Something I've been holding back for too long.

MC: *joking* Oh what have you been hiding from me, angel? Speak I beseech you!

Simeon: *laughing and then going solemn* MC... *Takes your hands in his* I love you. I love you with all my heart.

MC: ....me? You love..me? But I'm not nearly-

Simeon: You're the most beautiful soul I've ever met. You radiate kindness and forgiveness and everything pure, overcoming the seven biggest evils you reside with. How can I not love you? Tell me, MC, will you accept me as yours?

Lucifer had a half a mind to storm in and laugh in Simeon's face. What a failure this attempt was going to be. His pride grew inside him as he stifled a laugh. MC was his and only his and now he would take pleasure in watching Simeon learn that. Surely MC was going to turn him down nicely but still. He creeped closer to the door, looking through the open crack.

MC: *in tears* Oh Simeon, I love you too! I never thought an angel could ever love me back!

Simeon: *kisses her knuckles* So... It's a yes?!

MC: Yes yes yes! Oh of course it's a yes! *Hugs him tight* My guardian angel who protects me in the dark, oh how I love you.

Simeon: *laughing as he picks you up and spins you around* Oh how happy you've made me MC! I'm the happiest being alive!

MC: *kissing his cheek* So am I, Simeon. I love you with all my heart.

It took Lucifer all his strength to not collapse or go into a violent frenzy. He balled up his fists so tight, the gloves started tearing at the seams. He watched you smiling so gleefully in his arms, looking so radiant. When Simeon dipped his head down to kiss you, the moonlight poured in through the window as if blessing your union.

It was supposed to be him. If only he made it to your room sooner, it could have been him. Embracing all your beauty, being the cause of the shining smile. IT COULD HAVE BEEN HIM.

At his best

"Are you really that happy with him?" he asks you later that night. The blush on your cheeks and that cheeky smile says it all.

"Congratulations MC." You look so joyous even at the thought of Simeon, how could he ruin that?

His temper is worse, more unforgiving towards all his brothers. He has to bear with your absence in the house all day. The fact that he knows you're at Purgatory hall, sipping tea and arm in arm with him pains him to think.

You bring Simeon along to the council to help him too. He outright denies and asks both of you to leave.

He only ever feels calm to see you alone, but that is even rarer with his brothers around to hog his remaining time.

Eventually makes his peace with it, maybe you're better off with someone as pure as yourself than a demon like him.

At his worst

His wrath is back. It's almost bad enough to birth another Satan. His sense of entitlement is through the roof.

He snaps three weeks later when Simeon and you tell everyone about it and decide that you'll be moving to Purgatory hall soon. Everyone claps and rejoices while Lucifer, drunk off Demonus, crashes the fun.

"Simeon, you dirty cheat, pretending to be all pure with your white wings and devious smile. How dare you?!" He says in calm and deadly rage.

"Lucifer... what's wrong-" You approach him to ask. He looks at you and you see the little tears in the corners.

"MC WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE THAT NIGHT. MINE. NOT YOURS. THE ONLY BEING THAT CAME CLOSE ENOUGH TO STEAL MY HEART AND YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME."

Lucifer was louder now, hysterically angry, throwing his glass on the floor. "AND I KNOW THEY WOULD HAVE PICKED ME IF I GOT TO THEM FIRST! I LOVED THEM TOO DAMNIT." Simeon stood in front of you to protect you from Lucifer's rage. You hid your face in your hands, breaking down in sobs. What is happening? Where did you go wrong?

"Look at them, Lucifer. Look. At. What. You've. Done. And don't tell you've forgotten how many times you've threatened their lives before." Simeon said, holding you tight as you cried into his chest. "How dare you still feel like you deserve them?"

Lucifer sees you broken down, clutching onto Simeon for dear life, crying. You were smiling just a minute ago what has he done? Simeon blocked off his view with his pearly white wings. A reminder of what Lucifer used to be and cannot be again.

Mammon: Asmodeus

You were his human. And he was your first demon. No one was more territorial about you than him. So he finally made up his mind to seal the deal. No more lying about his feelings. He was going to claim you, once and for all. He imagined you smiling and running your hands through his hair and kissing him returning his feelings.

"MC! I brought the movie of the day!" He barged into your room excited, but you were nowhere to be found. Where could you have gone? It was your movie night with him. You were supposed to be waiting for him inside. He asked his brothers and they said you were with Asmo. He stomped his way up to Asmo's room and called out your name. No response. Not till he peeked inside the dark washroom. You were holding Asmo who looked very unstable and weak, sitting at the side of the bath.

MC: Asmo why don't you listen to me when I tell you not to drink so much!?

Asmo: I'm sorry MC *hic* I needed it today...

MC: Why? What's so scary that you don't have the confidence to do sober?

Asmo: MC do you think I look beautiful?

MC: Of course Asmo, you always do.

Asmo: Even with my runny make up, red nose and swollen eyes and this horrible complexion?

MC: *grabs his face* You're always beautiful to me MC.

Asmo: I...I stopped sleeping around MC. I couldn't do it anymore. *tearing up* Because to them, I'm only beautiful with a perfect covered up face.

MC: Asmo...they're blind and shallow demons who don't know anything! I know you, and I know how much more beautiful you are inside out. Don't listen to them.

Asmo feeling insecure about his appearance? What a big fat lie. Is this his new ploy to get to you? How irritating. It's not going to work, Mammon knows you're smarter than that. The Avatar of Lust can manipulate in many ways. Surely his human was smart enough to see through that!

Asmo: MC, I knew you were the one only who truly loved me. And today, I found the one I love too. Much more than I love myself. So I needed a drink to tell you this.

MC: Asmo...

Asmo: *holding your face gently* MC you saw past this pretty face. You saw the things I do more than what I am. Or what I pretend to be. I know it's hard to believe coming from the Avatar of Lust... But MC, I truly really love you. *looks down and sobs* But you probably can't believe me right?

MC: Asmo. Look at me. *You run your fingers through his hair and he looks up with teary eyes* I believe you. And I've loved you too. You're the only one who never hurt me. The one who willingly made a pact with me. You've been so sweet to me since I came. How could I love anyone else?

Asmo: MC I want you all to myself. Will you be mine? Only mine? I swear I'll keep you happy always!

MC: Of course Asmo. I'll all yours. I'm your little human. *giggling and kissing his head*

Asmo: *grabs and kisses you* MC, if you want, I can be your actual first tonight.

Mammon fell to his knees. He wanted to barge in and scream. He wanted to wrestle Asmo to the ground. He wanted to break his face for saying the words that were special to him and you. But your response had him paralysed. You...accepted him. You agreed to be his.

Silent tears streamed down his face as he watched you embracing Asmo, peppering kisses all over his face, running your hands through his hair, laughing and frolicking in the water with him. The colored moonlight through the stained glass danced on their skin like a scene from his favourite movie.

At his best

He cries to himself for days. Spends as much time outside as he can.

Maybe he is an idiot for thinking he had a chance with him. How could he compete with Asmo's charms.

Maybe it hurt more because Asmo didn't even have to use his charms.

Only ever tries to talk to you if he's sure your alone. One time he barged into your room and caught you and Asmo tangled up together and it broke him all over again.

He watched as you twirled around in a new outfit Asmo bought. He scoffs. He could have bought it for you too.

You both look so cheerful and in love, he decides to accept it. For the sake of his little brother and the human he loves.

At his worst

Breaks down and lets his emotions out in the worst way possible. Too desperate to win you back somehow.

Asmo and you were just telling Solomon and Simeon about your relationship when Mammon barged in through the doors of Purgatory halls.

"MC look! Look what I got you!" He came in all ragged. He knelt down and pulled out a ring. "Take me instead! I was your first wasn't I MC? Don't let him take my place please!"

"Mammon no... No please don't be this way...I'm sorry..." You kneel down next to him as he screams and sobs like a child. You feel guilty. You caused this. You lead him on. You fight your own tears as you keep apologising.

Asmo yanks you up and wraps his arms around you, staring down angrily at Mammon. "Mammon, leave."

Mammon lunged at Asmo. "I was going to tell them. That night was our movie night. You stole that night from me. YOU STOLE MY CHANCE AND MY MC!"

Asmo mocked at him with a sardonic laugh. "You still assume MC is yours without even telling them. You kept lying about your feelings and hurting them in the process. And yet, when they finally look happy, you come and make them cry. You are a scumbag Mammon."

Mammon looked at your tear stained face, nestled inside Asmo's arms and wings. He really felt like nothing but a scumbag.

Leviathan : Belphegor

Levi fell in love with you since your first act of kindness. As a shut-in whose only conversations were with his own eccentric and dismissive brothers, you were an angel who had brought him the gift of true companionship. Honestly he was okay being your best friend, until the day he started craving more. So he decided it was time to tell you.

'MC come to my room! I have a new game to show you!' It was a virtual dating game where he was going to confess digitally. You always loved his creative ways of doing simple stuff after all. He decided to play your favourite game while waiting for you. He even left the door ajar. Now he wished he didn't.

Belphie: MC do you have a minute?

MC: Yeah I was just heading to Levi's room what's up?

Belphie: I think I fallen in love with you, MC.

MC: .... Huh?

Levi almost burst out laughing hearing Belphie's confession. What kind of a bland confession is that? How can someone say that so easily? No that was definitely a joke on MC or something. Surely MC wouldn't take this seriously.

Belphie: I had a dream just now. About you.

MC: Uh huh?

Belphie: In that dream, we were up in the sky, among the stars. And you looked so pretty glittering along with them all. So I kissed you impulsively. And you kissed me back.

MC: ...that's a sweet dream. *blushes*

Belphie: *takes your hand* I woke up and my first thougt was I wish that was real. And then I realised it can be.

MC: ...

Belphie: I want to be able to kiss you always. I want to be able to take you far away. I want all your time. I love you MC. Be mine.

MC: Belphie I-

Belphie: I know, how can you possibly love your own murderer...? *Sighs* I cannot undo what I did. I'm sorry MC. I can only swear that I won't ever let that happen again.

MC: *smiles and cups his face* You were locked away for 3 millenia I can imagine your endless anger and grief for your sister. I forgave you long ago.

Belphie: So does that mean you'll accept me?

MC: You're already mine, silly. And now I'm yours. You're the only one I can relax with in the whole realm.

Belphie: MC... Come here. *holds you close and kisses you*

Levi's game screen displayed the message "GAME OVER: You lose". Levi couldn't see it clearly. His vision was blurred by the tears brimming on his eyes. You and Belphie looked to distant shadows on the moon.

He blamed himself for even thinking he had a chance with you. But maybe just...maybe if he had gotten there before? He stared at the screen and then at his spare console that he had declared yours. He picked up it, and locked it inside. Probably won't be needing it anytime soon.

At his best

He barely comes out of his room anymore. He tries to return your smile at breakfast but then returns hurriedly, leaving Beel to finish most of his food.

"Are you sure you want to play games? Wouldn't you rather go up to the attic" He mutters under his breath sometimes and then says it's nothing when you ask him.

Pains him when he sees you curled with Belphie in random places, dozing off. Might cover you with a blanket. Just you though.

Spites Belphie. A lot of people have said they look and act alike. But somehow you like sleeping more than anime and gaming?

Just accepts it as his fate. Atleast he's still your best friend, right?

At his worst

He's called the Avatar of Envy for a reason. He can barely hold it in seeing the both of you together constantly.

Belphie you and Beel were having a jolly time watching a movie and eating snacks while Belphie slept curled up in your lap. Levi happened to walk in while you were rubbing Belphie's head soothingly.

For some reason, Levi couldn't hold it in anymore. "UGH YOU FUCKING NORMIES!" he screamed out of frustration.

Belphie woke up drowsily when you stopped at stared at Levi holding back tears in the doorway. "Levi..what's wrong.." you call out to him.

He barges in and pushes Belphie off you and grabs your hands, tears falling and him screaming. "Why do you care, MC?! I'm a just disgusting shut in otaku right?! But guess what even as that I do more than just sleep and drool all fucking day! AND MORE IMPORTANTLY ATLEAST IM NOT THE ONE WHO KILLED YOU! So why him? WHY NOT ME MC?!"

"Levi...no..." You plead with him to calm down, tearing up yourself. You should have known. You should have known this would happen.

Belphie violently pushed Levi off you and grabbed him by the collar. "You were the first one to attack MC in this house. And I'm sure you would have killed them if not for Lucifer. So stop pretending you're better than me, you ridiculous creep. A shut in like you is worthless. The only thing you're good at is making MC distressed."

Levi looked at you trying to pull Belphie back, tears streaming down your face and hung his head low. It was simply an Otome game and MC didn't choose him.

Satan: Solomon

Satan took his time to fall. With late night studying session, every cat cafe date, every trip to the museum - he fell more and more each time. To the point where he wanted to spend every waking moment with you. And he was ready to tell you.

For a whole week, he kept writing and scrapping the perfect love letter for you. Then he realised you were someone who preferred simple honesty. "MC please wait for me in the library I'll be there shortly." He'd said before he dashed out to bring a boquet of your favourite flowers and a book which reminded him of you. He'd almost made it to the library, he saw you waiting inside for him eagerly. That was until someone flew in through the window.

Solomon? What's he doing at this hour? Satan peeked in through the half open library door. He wanted to be alone with you so he'd wait till Solomon was gone. He shouldn't have waited.

MC: Solomon! You scared me silly!

Solomon: *laughing* Your face just now MC...so adorable! Like a scared kitten!

MC: You wooshed in through the window!

Solomon: Okay okay my bad. Now what are you doing in the library so late at night. I went to your room and couldn't find you.

MC: Oh Satan called me out here. Told me to wait for him. Maybe there's a new book he wants to read.

Solomon: Do you guys do that often? Reading books this late?

MC: Haha yeah usually we just read in my room or his at night, in case we fall asleep.

Solomon: *sigh* So unfair.

MC: What's unfair?

Solomon: You and I are the only humans here. Why did they put us in different houses? Shouldn't we... be together more often?

MC: Well logically yes we should. Just classes and magic lessons aren't enough! You should live here too!

Solomon: I doubt Lucifer would be okay with that. But well.. here's the real reason I'm here now. *brings out a little basket*

MC: That's...that's a kitten! Hi baby! What's her name!?

Solomon: MC.

MC: Yeah what?

Solomon: No I named the kitten MC. This way I get to call your name as much as I want haha. The silly things us humans do for love, huh?

Satan had a sick feeling in his stomach. Watching you and him sitting in the moonlight, surrounded by books, cuddling a kitten and confessing...that should be him. Him not Solomon. He didn't like where this was heading. But just like you can't help but stare at disaster - he couldn't look away. What was MC going to say...?

MC: Solomon... *blushes*

Solomon: Does my affection scare you? *reaches for your hand*

MC: Of course not...I.. *gets closer and intertwining your fingers together*

Solomon: Is this your way of showing-

MC: *blushes* Yes. I love you too.

Solomon: I believe I've lived for a 1000 years just to hear those words. *kisses you against the bookshelves*

MC: I believe you've gotten 1000 years worth of romantic lines stored away in that head of yours. *Laughs and kisses him back*

Solomon: Let's take this to the moon shall we?

Satan watched as he took you and kitten in his arms and flew out the window. Satan rushed in not wanting to lose sight of you, dropping the flowers and books. Balling his fists, he choked on his angry tears as he watched you both laughing and kissing against the bright light of the moon. He felt like his own happy ending was stolen from him.

When you disappeared from view, he let out a blood curdling scream, pulling at his own hair and knocking over the bookshelf against which Solomon kissed you. The wrath inside him made him thrashing around in pain, burning him inside out. The flowers he dropped, lay there next to his sobbing body, wilting in his pain.

At his best

He manages to put on his best fake smile and go about his day. Tries hard to hide his annoyance if you bring him up.

But you seem so happy and you often invite him to new cat cafes and shelters. So despite Solomon's presence, he feels calm because of you and the cats.

Is secretly happy you get to spend more time with him than Solomon. Takes advantage of that and hogs you all to himself while in the house

While he can't hold or kiss you the way the Solomon does, you're here next to him, reading his recommended books. That's enough to soothe his yearning heart.

At his worst

The war for love is on. He doesn't care if Solomon already won. He will still declare his love no matter what.

It started out as subtle, he did what he knew Solomon couldn't. Cooking MC's favourite dishes whenever it was his turn to cook.

Tries to subtly reinforce his intelligence over Solomon when you're around. What's 1000 years of knowledge worth, Satan has been there since the first millenia ever

But the day Solomon and you announced you'll be moving to Purgatory Hall, he charged at him, his demon form angry and glowing. "How dare you think you can take them away from us? You think you can win against us... against me? You may have taken my chance with them but I won't let you take them away! They belong here with me!"

You inched closer to Satan's form. You'd never seem him this angry. "Satan please calm down-" Satan wasn't listening. He let out a feral growl and attacked Solomon.

Solomon held MC by his side and made a protection shield Satan couldn't get through. You started crying, watching his wrath take over, he must be in so much pain.

Solomon felt you curl up against him in fear and guilt. Gritting his teeth, he grabbed Satan by the scruff of his neck, like you'd do with a misbehaving cat.

"You say you want to protect them and yet look what you did instead." Solomon said. Satan looked helplessly at you, crying with your face buried in your hands. Glancing at his horns in the mirror, he called out to you sadly, "MC..."

Solomon creeped closer and said in a deadly low voice. "You love fairy tales right Satan? Well in the story of Beauty and the Beast, they could only be together because the beast was actually a human." And Satan was far from being a human.

Asmo : Mammon

It happened the day Asmo looked into the mirror and felt something missing. Suddenly his own reflection wasn't enough anymore. He pondered what it was when you happened to walk into his room and hug him from behind. And then he found the missing piece. You. He simply had to make sure you would become a part of him now.

Now contrary to popular belief, he did get nervous while thinking of proposing. This man is all about lust and a little kid when it comes to love. It's a whole new emotion and he's unsure how to deal with it. With some advice from Satan's romance books he lights your room up with candles, groomed himself perfectly, waiting for you to return to your room. Only you don't come. "What's taking MC so long?!"

He headed out and found you in Mammon's room instead. Asmo saw in the reflection off the mirror, Mammon's shirt off and him lying on his front as you poured ointment over his scars.

Mammon: Oi MC please don't be so upset...

MC: You didn't deserve this. You didn't. I did.

Mammon: MC, not again.

MC: You took my punishment. You took the blame for the broken vase for my sake.

Mammon: I didn't want ya getting hurt ya stupid human!

MC: Don't be calling me stupid and then go off doing stupid stuff yourself! *cries*

Mammon: MC...no don't cry. Please I'm sorry.

MC: Don't apologize for this! Mammon you're too kind... You keep taking blame for others, and the others just UGH.

Mammon: I've gotten used to Lucifer's punishments, MC! I'm more used to it than my brothers so I can take it!

MC: .... You're such a sweet big brother. You can't stop protecting the people you love, can you?

Mammon: *turns around to lie on his back* Now you get why I need to protect ya, don't ya?

Asmo's eyes flew open as did yours. Mammon just confessed to you. Albeit indirectly, but really did. But he felt pity for his older brother. Sure he was caring and sweet sometimes, but mostly he was a thief and a scumbag who constantly gets into trouble. He didn't stand a chance against Asmo's charms.

MC: Mammon... You silly demon. I love you too. *Lays their head on his chest*

Mammon: *blushes and coughs* Of course ya love the Great Mammon, human!

MC: *smiles against his skin* Swear to me, you won't ever do that again else I will fight Lucifer myself!

Mammon: *smiles* He's attacked ya thrice and yer face still loses its colour whenver he's around and yet yer thinking of fighting him for my sake, MC?

MC: OF COURSE!

Mammon: But I don't want that. Ya did too much for all of us when ya sacrificed your life to bring Belphie back. I should know, I held ya in my arms. *Tears up* Ya know ye were smiling still?? So calm and undisturbed as if ya didn't care what happens to ya now that all the brothers are together?

MC: You caught me...

Mammon: And I never want to catch ya like that again, get that human!? I will be a good protector as I was meant to be.

MC: Mammon... you're far too kind to be a demon. *Kisses him and gets on top of him*

Mammon: *grips their arms and holds them close* Stay with me tonight.

Asmo watched as you nodded and took off your top and lay down over him again, your skins in gentle and intimate contact and you both wrap your arms around and you presses kisses onto each other. The moonlight danced on your entangled bodies.

He stared and stared, his insides burning with an alien feeling. He hadn't known envy till you came along. His signature move would be to call both of you out and suggest a threesome, but what you both seemed to have was impenetrable. And in the mirror where he saw your reflections, he couldn't see himself.

At his best

This demon had never known love. He might have if Mammon hadn't decides to confess that very night.

But who cares? What's done is done. It's time to root for the both of you. He still has his followers to turn to.

"Mammon finally confessed huh?" He asked jokingly. Until he saw you blush and nod.

"You both must have fun together huh?" He says with a dry laugh.

Your hugs and headpats still keep him going. He takes you buy new dresses knowing it's to impress Mammon instead.

Tries so hard to conceal his tears and tantrums around you. He doesn't want to lose the small part of you that he had left.

At his worst

He cannot stay home. The sight of you both together makes him irritated and stressed both very bad for his skin.

He drinks and parties uncontrollably, bringing home demons and succubi that always seem to resemble you.

One night, Lucifer had enough and caught him by the collar, forbidding him to go to his room. Asmo giggled until Mammon and you showed up.

He swiftly escaped Lucifer's grasp and lunged at you, holding your face between his trembling hands. You look at him closely, his make up was messier than usual, the cresent underneath his eyes was darker than usual.

"MC...look at me. Look at only me. Just for a little while." Asmo said and his eyes glowed. He'd turned on his charm on full force as he leaned into you for a kiss.

Mammon pushed him back and stood before you protectively. Asmo fell back, laughing like a maniac. "Stupid Mammon they are with you out of pity! How long do you think you can make them stay with that stupid brain and sub par beauty?"

You teared up and screamed, "Asmo stop saying things like that! You dont even know anything about him!" Mammon hugged you tight, trying to calm you down.

And then in a lowly growl he said, "Asmo don't let me see ya laying a finger on MC again. Ya would see how people really see ya if you learnt to look away from your own reflection!"

But Asmo did. He did look away from his reflection. He looked at you. Only you didn't look back at him.

Keep reading Pt. 2

[justiceforvillains]

The Pretender

Paring: Fem Reader X Bangchan

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: brief mentions of violence, death.

Summary: Basically Bangchan having a shitty day before meeting you, now he has to pretend that he's someone he's not, just so he can see your innocent smile.

It's my first time writing for Stray Kidz, so please be kind :)

Last thing Bangchan wanted to do in the morning was beat someone to death, last thing he also wanted to hear was a little girl pointing at him hysterically crying and chanting "MONSTER!!"

But here he is, just trying to go back to his car when he felt something or rather someone bumping into his legs, his hand immediately went to his gun before he turned around to look at a small girl, not even a second later she burst into tears repeatedly screaming "monster" at him.

He knew he wasn't exactly prince charming, it didn't bother him, what did bother him however was the amount of people staring and glaring, but with one glare back they all turned on their heels leaving the poor girl in his care, he decided to just fuck it and leave the crying little brat alone before he heard a soft voice speaking from behind.

"hey little one, what got you so worked up?"

He turned around again only to see a pretty girl crunching down patting the smaller girl softly on the head, the girl hiccups before turning to him again and pointing "monster"

The pretty girl looked up, only for her eyes to widen, great now he needs to run back before you have the chance to call the cops.

"that's not a very nice thing to say about someone, he's a person and people have feelings would you..."

Instead of calling the cops you're sitting there scolding the little girl, he's dumbfounded, do you not recognize him? Did you not see his bloody hands?1

"I'm sorry mister.."

the littel girl rubbed at her swollen eyes and then started explaining how she lost her parents and doesn't know where they are.

He doesn't know how or why he ended up in your shop you owned a small bakery, he looked around to see how well decorated the small space was it was a mix of brown and beige.

You said something but he wasn't listening he turned to you "what?" "I was saying my name is y/n" he doesn't know why he enjoyed the soft smile you sent his way, he returned it "Chris" "well Chris it's nice meeting you" your glance at his hands did not go unnoticed by him.

"you need to run your hands under cold water or it will bruise, follow me I'll show you the bathroom"

Once again dumbfounded you just invited a scarred man wearing all black with bloody hands into your bakery and now you're offering him help so his hands won't bruise.

He followed you silently he didn't move not when you showed him the bathroom, not when you opened the cold water for him, and definitely not when you took his hands in your soft ones telling him a small "it might sting" and running them both yours and his hands in the cold water, the sudden sting however made him come back to reality.

"um thank you.." you looked up at him smiling "it's alright, you know my brother was a boxer too" "boxer?" his confusion was evidence in his voice and in his face you returned the same confusion "huh? Yeah boxer why else would you have bloody hands?"

Oh so that's why you weren't scared of him, he smiled "yeah I am I was just confused on how you found out" "well I'm a smart girl aren't I" the soft giggle you let out had him smiling, it's been so long since he had such an innocent conversation.

You took your hands away to grape a towel, drying you then him "all cleaned up!" you cheered "thank you.." "you're not very talkative Chris are you?"

"well normally people tend to avoid me to be honest with you" the smile you had on fell and was replaced with a sad look, for some reason it tugged at his heart to see those sad eyes directed at him.

"kids can be mean sometimes and so are adults, you look fine to me I'm not scared of you and I'm not going to avoid you"

The laugh he let out stratled you jumping in surprise at the usually quiet man "sorry... Sorry it's just the first time I meet someone like you" the fact that you thought people avoided him for his looks was hilarious, yes people tend to avoid him, sometime also for his looks but most of them knew who he is, knew what he does.

But small innocent you just thought you were comforting a normal citizen "well I was always told I'm quite strange" "that makes two of us pretty" he commented immediately smiling widely at the small blush and off guard look you gave him at the nickname.

"I.. Umm.. Do you want something to eat?" he nods smile still plaster on his face at your flustered Form "get me something you would recommend" how fast your attitude changed form being a little flustered mess to excitement and happiness at his words had him chuckling.

A normal citizen who's aspiring to be a boxer? He could pretend to be that for you just keep smiling innocently like this.

Sooooooo like I said this is my first time writing for SKZ, if anyone had tips or advice on how to better my writing please do tell me.

✦ Masterlist ✦

[seriouslysnape]

Incompetence

Cedric Diggory x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Language.

Word Count: 1,231

A/N: Just a disclaimer-I’m well aware that Cedric was already...Deadric when Umbridge came along.

“Did something happen today?”

Cedric had been trying (without success) for the last 15 minutes to stop the pitiful cries bellowing from your trembling frame. He couldn’t get a word out of you other than the couple of times you had whimpered his name to display your very obvious upset. He kept his hands underneath your thighs to keep you wrapped around his waist as he carried you through the castle to his dorm, offering reassuring nods to those he passed in the halls to let them know you were okay.

At least, Cedric was pretty sure you were okay since you had yet to tell him what was wrong.

He kept pressing kisses to your temple and the crown on your head to remind you that he was there when you were ready to speak, but he had a feeling you wouldn’t be saying a word until you were settled in the privacy of his room.

“Almost there, sweet girl. Then we can talk, yeah?” He suggested as he finally made it within a few feet from his prefect door.

You only blubbered an affirming noise that you had heard him, keeping your head buried in the crook of his neck and your arms around his neck to assure that the Hufflepuff boy wasn’t going anywhere. He was able to maneuver the door open with his foot and push it open with his hip. He swiftly entered inside the room, approaching his bed and letting you sink into the mattress once he detached you from his body.

He was surprised when you slipped your shoes off and crawled under his covers, balling yourself inside until you weren’t even visible anymore. This was VERY unusual behavior for you, considering that you almost always waited until he was snuggled up next to you before you got comfortable. Cedric slipped out of his black and yellow robes, draping them across the chair of his desk. 

Your crying hadn’t stopped, and his heart broke further and further with every sniffle and hiccup that came out of you. You whimpered when you felt the mattress dip, letting you know that Cedric was next to your curled up body. He rested a hand on your sniffling body that was lost within his sheets.

“[Y/N], you’re breaking my heart,” He said with a tone full of worry, wishing that you’d just tell him what was wrong; “Did something happen today?”

You only let out a noise of confirmation, followed by another hiccup. 

“Okay...did you have a hard time with your Potions exam?” He questioned, realizing he’d have to guess what it was.

You shook your head, and even though he couldn’t see it, he could tell that wasn’t it.

“Did you have a bad time in Transfiguration?” He queried, rubbing your arm through the thickness of the duvet.

You shook your head again, causing Cedric to really think about it. If it wasn’t Potions or Transfiguration causing you all this grief, then it had to be Defense Against the Dark Arts since he had Charms with you and nothing odd had happened today.

“Did something happen during Defense?” He asked lightly.

Your silence was a giveaway, along with the new round of sobs that began exploding from your chest. He couldn’t stand to hear you cry anymore, ripping the sheets off of you and pulling you in.

“Baby, baby.” He mewled with concern, rocking you back and forth gently to soothe you; “What happened?”

You sucked in a shaky breath, wiping your tears on the shoulder of Cedric’s soft shirt. 

“It was horrible, Ced,” You wept; “It was Umbridge.”

He brought you back to face him at the sound of your voice, his thumbs wiping away your tears that were steadily falling down your usually happy face. Cedric felt a sense of dread in his gut. Umbridge had been making everyone’s life a living hell all year. She was possibly the meanest soul to ever walk the planet.

“Oh no...what did she do, princess?” Cedric prompted.

A little bit of anger was beginning to wash over him. Not at you of course, but he had heard and seen what Umbridge had done to students, and he wasn’t sure what’d he do if she had physically hurt you.

“Umbridge yelled at me.” You confessed, falling into hysterical crying once more.

Cedric paused for a moment, and couldn’t stop the amused smile and soft chuckle that bubbled out of his chest. You sat up quickly from his hold, absolutely offended that he was reacting like this.

“Are you laughing at me?” You asked in a way that was supposed to be angry, but came out more hurt.

His smile faded into more of a softer one, and he cupped your face with a quick kiss to your lips. You were always a hit with professors. You were intelligent, witty, and very kind. There probably hadn’t been a day in your life where a professor had even remotely raised their voice at you. So, he wasn’t surprised that Umbridge had you falling apart like this.

“No, no, pretty girl. I promise I’m not,” He said, holding down a snicker. He knew you were genuinely upset over this, but he was just relieved that nothing else had happened; “Why did she yell at you?”

“I didn’t know the counter curse for some stupid dark charm or something,” You retold him; “She called me incompetent.”

That wiped the smile right off of Cedric’s face. That was one thing that he never, ever wanted you to think about yourself. You were unbelievably talented and bright, and he didn’t want you to ever think otherwise.

“You are not incompetent. You’re a wonderful, talented witch.” He told you, moving your hair that had gotten stuck to your wet cheeks.

“But she said-”

“Nope. I won’t hear another word of this,” He cut you off; “Umbridge is a horrible professor and even worse of a person. She has no idea what she’s talking about.”

You still looked discouraged, but at least your tears had stopped now. He was afraid he’d start crying if you hadn’t stopped soon. You rose to your knees, wrapping your arms around his neck for a more comfortable hug that you surely needed. His arms snaked around you as he left a kiss to your collarbone that he was eye level with.

“Thanks, Ceddy,” You murmured, scratching at his scalp; “Can I have one of your Quidditch sweaters?”

“Of course, baby.” He granted, letting you slip away to change clothes.

He couldn’t miss the slump of your shoulders and the dejection in your walk. Umbridge had really gotten in your head. You changed into his sweater, reveling in the way the material felt on your skin. He watched as you padded back to his bed, curling up against his pillows. He layered you with kisses, showering you with love and reminding you how amazing you were.

“You’re my pretty girl, you know that? My wonderful, talented, lovely girl.” He praised, leaving a kiss just above your brow bone.

He linked his legs with yours, running his fingertips along the exposed skin of your leg.

“Yeah,” You smiled; “I know.”

“Good, because I don’t want you to ever forget it.” He remarked.

“With you around, I don’t think I could forget.” You joked with a giggle.

He hummed, kissing you once more.

“Even better.”

[babybluebex]

retribution pt.1 [charles blackwood smut]

➽ pairing: dark!stepfather!charles blackwood x fem!reader (y/n) ➽ word count: 4.9k ➽ summary: after charles marries your mother to gain a massive fortune, he realizes that he married the wrong woman, and he sets his sights on the real heiress: you.  ➽ warnings: NSFW/MDNI. explicit language, smut, thigh-riding, oral (f!receiving), power dynamics, step!cest, masturbation, yandere/obession (i think??), daddy kink, breeding kink, slapping, mentions of murder/suicide ➽ a/n: i know that is different than what i usually post, but charles blackwood just... hmmm he grinds my gears in the best way. so, enjoy! masterlist/taglist in bio (and the sequel will be soon!)

From the very moment you laid eyes on Charles Blackwood, you loathed him. There was something about him physically that turned you off of him. Maybe it was the way his hair was just too perfectly done, the caramel highlights too pretty to be natural. Maybe it was the way his cologne filled your head, dark and lovely, but too masculine, like he was making up for something. Or maybe it was the smile that graced his pink and pouty lips when your mother introduced him to you as her husband. 

It had hardly been a year since your father had passed, and you had no idea just how your mother could move on as quickly as she did. It had torn you up in a way that nothing else quite had. You had always been closer to your father than your mother and, when he got sick, you were left to bear the weight of what was happening. You went to visit him at the hospital alone and sat with him and read to him, and you held his hand as the nurses carefully turned off his machines. You guess that it was worth it, though; you found out that your father had altered his will and now, instead of his money being left to your mother, it was left to you. The only condition was that you had to get married to receive the money, going back to a conversation many years ago where your father tried to convince you not to go to university, telling you that the life of a wife and a mother would suit you better. You said that you would think about it. 

“You’re not my dad,” you told Charles Blackwood. You expected him to be cross or maybe even hurt by your insistence upon that, but he smirked, as if he had expected that sort of answer. “I’m not gonna call you that.” 

“Aw, that’s alright, honey,” Charles said, and he pressed his hand to your mother’s shoulder to stop her from scolding you. “I didn’t think you would. That’s awful, what happened to him. I’m really sorry about that.” 

So casual, the way he talked about your father’s death. As if it was nothing more to you than a bad exam grade. You cried that night, locked up in your room, wanting Charles gone already. He was in the kitchen when you went in in the morning, sitting at the table, reading the newspaper, and whistling. He had the glow of a recently-spent man about him, and you internally sneered at the thought of him fucking your mother. “Hey, you,” he said, putting the paper down. “Let’s have a talk, huh?” 

You glared at him, but sat down at the table all the same. You dug your thumbs into your orange and raised your eyebrows expectantly at him, and Charles pursed his lips. “I want you to know something,” he said. “I love your mom, right? And I have no interest in being your new dad or whatever. But I expect you to treat me with a little bit of respect, not any of… This.” He waved his finger at you, obviously talking about your current abhorrent pose. “I may not be your dad, but I’m still paying the bills and paying for you to go to university. So you’re gonna treat me like you fucking worship the ground I walk on. Got it, honey?” 

“And what do I get outta this?” you grumbled. 

“You get to keep living here,” Charles said. “You still get all that money that your father left your mother when he died. I don’t see what else you need.” 

You scoffed. “Right,” you whispered. “‘Cause you only care about money. Well, Chuck, that’s fucking hysterical, that you think I’m even remotely like you. I can see past dollar signs and see what people are actually about. Anyway, I could care less about your money. I’ve got my own.” 

“Doing what?” Charles asked with a dismissive laugh. “Waitressing?” 

“You wish,” you sneered. “Mother didn’t get any money from Father.”

“All that money?” Charles asked slowly. “Where the hell did it go?” 

“Into my trust fund,” you said highly, and you watched Charles’s blue eyes widen. “I have every cent of my father’s. All I have to do is get married, and me and my husband can fuck off, away from you.” 

Charles stuttered for a moment, then said, “Let me get this straight. Your father left every red dime to his kid and not his wife? And you can only access it if you get married?”

“I told him that I wasn’t getting married,” you explained. “This is his twisted way of guaranteeing that I tie the knot at some point; soon, I guess. But congratulations, Chuck. Welcome to the family.” 

As you stood up from your place, Charles’s hand shot out and grabbed your wrist, and you yelped. His grip was strong, veins in his hand exposing themselves, and his jaw was set with a rising anger. You could see the red flush in his chest and neck, and, as pleased as you wished you were, you were frightened by him. Your father had never grabbed you like that before. Nobody had. “What did I say about a little goddamn respect?” Charles asked through gnashed teeth, and he twisted his hand, pulling your skin and making you cry out in pain. “You don’t call me Chuck. You call me Charles, or Father, or fucking nothing.” 

“Let go of me, you fucking bastard,” you hissed. 

Charles’s face was red now, and he lashed out and struck you across the cheek. Before you even had time to cry out, he had you by the chin, forcing you to look at him. “Go to your room,” he told you. “Next time I see you, if this fucking attitude isn’t fixed, you’re gonna be really sorry. You hearing me, honey?” 

You nodded, using every ounce of your self control to not burst into tears on the spot. You cursed him in your head, wishing for him to leave you and your mother alone. You wanted him gone, maybe even dead. Certainly nowhere near you or your mother anymore. Charles stared at you, watching you, making sure of your compliance, then he let go of your face and tugged you close to his body by your wrist. Confusion overtook you as he hugged you, but then it made sense when you heard the floorboard in the hallway creak. “I know you miss him,” Charles said, quiet but certainly loud enough for your mother to hear from the hallway. “And I can’t be him, but I’ll try my best. Alright, honey?” 

He sent a quick pinch to your tender wrist, and you finally let out your caged sobs. “Hey, hey,” Charles said, shushing you in what could be mistaken for comfort. “No need for crying, little one. I’m here for you.” 

When you finally tore yourself from Charles, he looked happy. The anger was gone from his face, and he smiled at you. “‘Morning, lovely,” he said to your mother, and he stepped around you to embrace your mother and kiss her cheek. 

“What’s going on?” your mother asked, looking at you worriedly. 

“Having a little heart-to-heart,” Charles said softly. “Said she missed her father, and I told her that I’ll try my hardest to be there for her.” 

“Aw,” your mother cooed and placed a kiss on Charles’s lying lips. “You’re too good to us.”

That conversation seemed to change something between you and Charles. He was still an asshole when your mother wasn’t looking, but you knew not to tell her. She wouldn’t believe it, and it would inevitably just mean more trouble for you. However, there was suddenly something more with Charles. He seemed charming, as always, but you sensed something sinister underneath it. You knew that he was only after your father’s money, and he was now stuck with your mother when it was you who had all the money. You knew that he was mad at marrying the wrong woman, but he couldn’t do anything about it now, and the thought that your presence vexed him as much as he did you pleased you. 

Except, as you found out one night, Charles still could do something. 

It was still dark outside your window when you heard your bedroom door creak open. You liked to sleep with it closed, and you brushed it off as the house shifting as it settled. Your clock said that it was five in the morning, and you nearly got up to close your door back, but you smelled him first. Fresh from his morning shower, cologne still potent, Charles lingered in the doorway to your room before stepping in. You squinted your eyes to try to see what Charles was doing, but still trying to act asleep, and you watched him cross to your dresser, across from your bed. He carefully opened drawer after drawer, obviously hunting for something specific, and your heart dropped when he crouched to the bottom drawer and his hands came up to brush back his hair. 

Your heart burned with hate and disgust as you watched your mother’s husband, your stepfather, pull out a pair of your panties. You had done laundry just two days earlier and hadn’t worn them yet, and you watched as Charles pressed the bundle of cotton to his face. After a moment, he stood up, your panties in his fist, and you quickly closed your eyes to feign sleep as Charles approached the bed. You felt his presence right by your face, felt his eyes watching you as you slept, and he whispered, “Fuck, little one...”. Then, you heard the zipper on his pants. Through your eyelashes, you watched Charles press his half-hard cock into his fist and begin to stroke himself, rubbing himself with your panties. He slotted his bottom lip between his teeth as he masturbated, watching you as you “slept”. “So fuckin’ pretty… Gonna be mine.” 

You tasted acidic hate in your mouth, but you couldn’t make yourself confront him. To your knowledge, nobody had ever masturbated to the thought of you before. There was a tiny part of you that liked that Charles was so hung up on you, even if the dominating part of your brain told you how sick it was. Anyway, you hardly wanted to interrupt him and stop an orgasm and give him yet another reason to hate you. 

Charles’s cheeks went red in the dim light of the room as his fist moved faster. Your panties were bunched around his cock, flushed and nestled there like it belonged, and you closed your eyes fully. You didn’t want to see him come. You didn’t want to know what he looked like. You moved slightly, adjusting your legs under the blankets, and Charles let out a quiet little grunt. “One day…” he mumbled to himself. “Gonna be mine… All that’s gonna be mine.” 

His breath caught in his throat, and you heard the wet squelch as his cum coated your panties. Charles stood for a moment, watching you, feeling his cock soften in his hand, and he finally sniffed and stuffed the used panties into his pocket. He tilted his head as he continued to examine you and the way you gave little noises as you slept, and he smiled. Oh yes, he thought as he brushed a bit of hair from your cheek. You would make a good wife. 

Later that day, you were absently wandering around the house. It was too hot to do anything outside comfortably, but you definitely didn’t want to be around Charles or your mother for the moment. Even though you hadn’t seen anything that Charles had done, his grunts and hisses were enough for you to know that he enjoyed his time in your room that morning. You had yet to find your panties, and your stomach roiled when you wondered if he still had them in his pocket. 

Your stepfather called your name from across the house, and your heart dropped. As you made your way to his office, you decided to play with him in the worst way possible. If he was going to haunt you and make you miserable, you were going to do just the same. Charles was leaned back in his desk chair when you got there, smoking from his pipe. His tie was loose, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his gelled hair coming a bit undone. He looked stressed, and perhaps a little anxious. “Yes?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest as you leaned against the doorframe. 

“What are you doing tonight?” Charles asked, blowing out a mouthful of thick smoke. 

You shrugged. “Nothing, I suppose,” you said. “Why?” 

“I wanted to take you to dinner,” Charles said. “I think we got off on the wrong foot, and I would like to make it up to you, if I can. I… I truly apologize for hitting you. I have a short temper, see, and I’m trying to be better about it.” His lips were pursed, his eyes trained on you. 

If you didn’t know any better, you would think that his apology was genuine. But he needed you on his good side in order to get your fortune. He was buttering you up. You sighed. “That’s alright,” you said. “Umm… I’d like that, I think. Would Mother be coming as well?” 

“No, little one,” Charles said, and you remembered how he had called you that as he pleasured himself into your panties. “Just us. A father-daughter dinner.” 

“Alright,” you said. “Umm… Would you be angry if I called you Father? I just think…” You trailed off and pretended to be ashamed as you played with the sleeve of your dress. “Maybe it would help me adjust.” 

“Not at all, honey,” Charles replied. “Anything to make you comfortable.” 

You gave him the smallest smile, and you approached his seat. “I should have greeted you with a bit more open-mindedness,” you mused. “I was being childish. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me, because I… I just want you to like me, Father.”

“Aw, honey, I do like you,” Charles said, tilting his head. “You’re already forgiven.”

Your smile grew, and you leaned over to give Charles a tight hug. You could smell his strong cologne as you embraced him, and you made sure to give a soft little moan in his ear. “Oh, Father!” you started. “I can’t seem to find some of my clothes. Would you happen to know where they might have gone? Mother’s always on about donating unused things.” 

“I have no idea, little one,” Charles said, and you straightened up. “What exactly are you missing?” 

“Just a few sweaters,” you said, tracing the etching on the desk. “A skirt or two… A pair of panties with daises on them.” You gave a little laugh, and added, “They were my lucky pair and I just… Never mind, that’s embarrassing.” 

“No, I mean,” Charles began, and he shifted in his chair. Your words had done exactly what you had hoped; he was suspicious and uncomfortable. “If it means a lot to you. How exactly are they lucky, might I ask?” 

You laughed quietly. “Oh, Father, I couldn’t possibly tell you,” you giggled. “It’s not the sort of things girls talk about with their parents.” 

“C’mon,” Charles smiled, reaching forward and playfully tickling your side. “If you don’t tell me, then I’ll assume the worst.” 

In truth, the panties meant nothing to you. You couldn’t even remember when or where you had gotten them. But if it made Charles uncomfortable, then you would stretch the truth however far you needed to. You bit your bottom lip and giggled, and you said, “Fine, fine. I wore them the night I almost lost my virginity, and I… I just feel good wearing them.” 

Charles straightened in his chair, setting his pipe aside. “You’re not a virgin?” he asked. 

“I said ‘almost’, Father,” you whispered. “I still am.” 

“Well, that’s not a bad thing,” Charles told you. His hands went to your waist and tugged you closer to him, and he carefully parted your legs with his knee. “Are you waiting for marriage?”

You shrugged. “Or whatever,” you said. “I wanted to do it, but I just… He wasn’t my type.” 

“And what is your type, honey?” Charles asked. 

Your stomach was curling with disgust, but you kept up the ruse. “I don’t know,” you whispered. With a sigh, you settled yourself on Charles’s thigh, playing with the collar of his shirt. “Just, someone who knows what they’re doing, I guess. Who can make me feel good without making mistakes. Older, I suppose.”

“What else?” Charles asked. His thumb brushed against your hip bone, and you shivered when you felt your walls flutter. You couldn’t possibly be turned on by playing this sick game with your stepfather, could you?

“I like dark hair,” you said softly. “Tall. Nice eyes.”

“So…” Charles began and gave you a satisfied grin, one like a wolf who had cornered his prey. “Me.” 

“Oh, God,” you whispered. “I-I guess, when you put it that way--” 

“It’s alright, little one,” Charles said softly, and he leaned forward and kissed each of your cheeks. “It’s alright if you’ve got a little crush on me. Tell me, honey: have you ever been touched before?” 

“Yes,” you replied with a fake meekness. He seemed to like the more innocent side of you. 

“Yes…?” 

You swallowed down disgust, disguising it as nerves. “Yes, Father.” 

“Good girl,” Charles whispered. “How have you been touched?” 

“A boy put his fingers in me,” you told Charles, avoiding his eyes. “And his mouth on me.” 

“Where on you?” Charles pressed on. His hand slipped down to your bare legs and let his fingers linger on the soft skin of your inner thigh. 

“Father,” you mumbled. “I can’t say it.”

“Show me,” Charles demanded, his face suddenly stony. “Put your hand where that kid had his fucking mouth.” 

You let your hand rest on top of Charles’s, and you lifted it to your breast first. “Here--” 

“Over your dress?” Charles laughed. 

“N-No,” you laughed softly. You bit your lip as you guided his hand down the neck of your dress, and you shuddered at his warm palm on your soft nipple. Your cunt fluttered again, and you fully blushed when you realized that Charles had certainly felt it against his tense thigh. “Here,” you whispered, and you found yourself letting out a quiet moan as Charles groped at your breast. You weren’t supposed to be enjoying this. No, this was supposed to be torture for him. 

“You like when I touch your tit like this, honey?” Charles asked, and you nodded quickly. “So good for your father, little one. Where else?” 

You took his wrist and pulled his hand up to your mouth, and you placed a gentle kiss to his fingertips. “He kissed me,” you said. 

“Did you like it?” Charles asked. He pressed his thumb to your bottom lip, and you took it into your mouth as Charles watched greedily. 

You shook your head, and Charles pulled his thumb from your mouth. “What did he do wrong?” he asked softly. 

“Nothing,” you whispered. “I just didn’t like him, I suppose.” 

“Do you usually fuck guys you don’t like?” Charles asked. 

“I didn’t fuck him, Father!” you said quickly. “I-I stopped it. Remember?” 

“Oh, right,” Charles said in a hushed tone. “Saving yourself for the right person, who just so happens to have every quality that I possess. Is that right?” 

“Father,” you groaned, leaning forward to press your forehead against his shoulder. For some reason, you didn’t entirely mind the smell of his cologne anymore. You didn’t mind his perfect hair. You didn’t even mind the wolfish smile that overtook his pink pout. 

“Where else was that boy’s mouth?” Charles whispered. “Did he put it anywhere else? Or just on your pretty little mouth and tit?” 

As you grabbed his hand, you realized that there was absolutely no going back. Your plan was set in motion and there was no way to stop it. You took a deep breath to prepare yourself, and you slowly took his hand down your body. You carefully lifted your dress and settled his hand over your cunt, and you shuddered at the warmth of his palm. His fingers were against your hole, the heel of his hand pressed to your clit, and you watched him lick his lips. “You naughty little thing,” Charles chuckled. “You let him put his mouth on your pussy?” 

“I didn’t like it,” you told him quickly. “I didn’t like him.” 

“Honey, I’m gonna ask you this once,” Charles whispered, pressing his hand fully against you. Even through the thin layer of your panties, you could feel every inch of his hand, and you bit your lip and tried to control your hips from bucking into his palm. Amongst other things, you were sure that you would get in trouble for it. “Do you want me to fuck you? I can show you how good you’re supposed to feel, little one, you’ll love me for it.” 

You nodded quickly, but yelped when his free hand landed a smack on your ass. It truly hurt, and you whimpered when his hand stayed on your ass and squeezed. “Use your words, honey,” Charles said. “As much as I like the little dumb whore act, I wanna hear you beg for it.” 

“Yes,” you said quickly. “Yes, Charles, please. Please, Daddy, please fuck me.” 

“Ooh, Daddy,” Charles purred. “I like the sound of that, baby. Stand up and take off your panties, sweetheart.” 

You did as he told you, shivering when the cool air hit your wet cunt, and Charles tugged you back down onto his thick thigh. The roughness of his pants made you whimper louder, and he sent a slap to your cheek. It wasn’t hard and didn’t even hurt, but you gasped all the same. “Keep your fucking cock-hole shut,” Charles hissed. “You want your mother to hear you fucking yourself on my leg?” 

“N-No, Daddy,” you whined. 

“Good girl,” Charles whispered. “Show me how badly you want me.”

“Huh?” 

Charles took fistfuls of your dress and tugged it downwards, letting your tits escape. “I said, show me how badly you want me to fuck your little hole, babygirl,” he growled. “Fuck yourself on my thigh, and maybe, if you’re good for me, I’ll bend you over this desk right now and fuck you ‘til you can’t walk. You want that, baby? Want your daddy’s cock wrecking your pretty little pussy?” 

You rested your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, and you rocked your hips down onto his hard thigh. The material of his pants brushed your cunt and clit and made you bite back a whimper, and you squeezed your eyes shut. You hated the way that you were enjoying it. You hated him. Maybe you even hated yourself. But self-loathing could wait until you got off, because the pleasure of everything was too overpowering to focus on much else. 

Charles’s hands roamed your body, touching you everywhere that he could manage. He squeezed your tits and pinched your nipples, and bolts of pleasure rocked through your whole body. That, added with the feeling on your clit, was almost too much, and you whined out. “Daddy--!”

Suddenly, his hand was over your mouth, the other clamping down around your throat. “Shut up!” he huffed. His eyes were alert, locked on yours, and his face was red. Was he really angry? The thought that he was truly angry made your stomach flip, and not in a good way. “I told you to shut the fuck up, why can’t you listen?”

You pleaded with your eyes, asking him to forgive you. It was important for your plan that he didn’t have any ill will towards you. You needed him to want to marry you, and to actually do it. Then, you would get the money, and you could find a way to stage a suicide before the money was put into his bank account. Then, you would have your father’s money, and live with just yourself and the fortune he gave you. But, in order to do that, you had to do everything Charles Blackwood asked of you. You had to treat this horrible man like the sun shined out of his lying ass. You had to make him want to marry you. Which, at the current moment, didn’t seem like it would be too difficult. 

You mumbled behind his hand, trying to warn him that you were going to come, but he only hit you across the cheek again. “Not another sound, you fucking whore,” he said. “Fucking yourself on your father’s leg. So slutty. You gonna come? You wanna come on Daddy’s leg?” 

You nodded quickly, and you started your hips faster. Your legs were quivering and you could hardly hold yourself upright anymore, and Charles took note of the tears brimming at your eyelashes. “Is this the first orgasm you’ve ever had, honey?” he asked. He seemed softer suddenly, and his hand left your mouth; the other stayed secure around your throat, though. You nodded quickly, and he gave a little coo. “Aw, my poor baby. I guess I oughta take some pity on you, huh? You’ve been good to me after all… Take off your dress and sit on the desk.” 

Your dress hit the floor, and you settled yourself on the edge of Charles’s desk. It was a hefty thing made of mahogany, and you clenched your thighs together as Charles’s eyes raked over your entire body. “I know you’re not trying to be modest now,” he laughed. “Open your legs and show Daddy that pretty pussy.”

You bit your lip and did as he said, and you gasped when his eyes finally landed on your cunt. You were dripping wet, your slick glistening off your thighs, and Charles let one thick finger glide up your slit and collect your wetness on his fingertip. “Jesus Christ, baby,” he laughed. “You were really close, weren’t you? Let me guess, you want me to shove my cock in you, huh? Want me to fuckin’ split you in two and stuff you full of my cum? God, you would look so pretty, gettin’ all big with my baby.” He paused to suck your wetness off of his finger, and he gave a quiet little sigh. “Oh, God. Of course you taste good… So sweet, like sugar. It’s almost like you want me to eat you out, sugar.”

“Please,” you sniffled. You reached for him and pulled him in by his tie, and he slotted easily between your thighs. “Please, please, please, Daddy, want your mouth on my pussy, please, make me come, Daddy…” 

Charles placed a soft kiss on your forehead as a way to placate your begging, and he whispered, “You’re asking so nicely, sugar. How could I say no to your pretty little face?” 

You didn’t know what exactly to expect as Charles kneeled down in front of you, and you carefully pushed your fingers through his hair, through those perfect blond highlights. The moment his tongue touched your clit, though, you forgot entirely about how you were supposed to be hating him. You forgot practically everything that wasn’t Charles. He lapped up your wetness and placed a wet kiss to your lips, and your stomach clenched as he looked up at you through his eyelashes. “Aw,” he whispered, his warm breath making your cunt flutter again. “You look so pretty, sugar, all fucked out like this. Can’t wait ‘til I can actually fuck you…” 

And, with that, he dived in. He was kissing, licking, and sucking your cunt like it was his only goal in life, your thighs in his bruising grip. You had the instinct to clamp your legs shut, and you nearly did, but Charles pulled his mouth away just enough so that his lips teasingly brushed your clit, and he whispered, “Now, that’s not what good girls do, is it?” 

“M’sorry, Daddy,” you whispered. “Just feels so good.”

“I know, sugar, I know,” Charles whispered. “You’re being so obedient for me, though. Do you think you deserve a reward?” 

“Yes,” you gasped. “Please, Daddy, I’ve been so good for you. Done what you’ve asked, please let me come.” 

Charles sighed, looking up at you once more. “I love listening to you beg,” he whispered. “But you’ve been doing good for me. Go ahead, sugar. Come on my face, baby.”

The way his lips shined with your cum nearly made you pass out. If it were anyone else, you would have adored the sight of it, but, since it was your awful fucking monster of a stepfather, you loathed it. Still, you pulled him close and kissed him all the same, cringing at the taste of yourself on his mouth. 

“What do we say?” Charles asked. His hands smoothed down your body, landing on your waist, and he tugged you flush against his body. 

You let out a quiet little laugh. “Thank you, Daddy,” you whispered. 

Charles smiled, looking like the cat who ate the canary. “You’re welcome, sugar.” 

[lavishedinjimin]

Proper Training -> knj (hybrid!au)

— synopsis: Namjoon was not expecting such a random hybrid crying at his doorstep on a rainy night. After learning more about you and your past, he was determined to help such a precious little one like you. Perhaps you just needed some proper guidance and training.

↳ pairing: Namjoon x kitten hybrid f.reader

↳ genre: fluff/angst/smut

↳ rating: 18+

↳ word count: 9.5k

↳ warnings: tw/ partner abuse (please bear with me that all of this is fanfiction and I do not tolerate anything like this in real life), degrading terms/namecalling, breeding kink, dom!Namjoon, sub!reader, sexual intercourse, unprotected sex, pain kink, cunnilingus, etc.

The discreet sound of leather shoes clicking against the floor made your tail lower in desperation to find a place to hide. You whimper to herself, panicking. The living room was filled with mess, scattered pillows and the carpet spilled with milk. Although you were proud of the chaos you’ve created, you were awfully afraid of your his reaction.

You crawl underneath a side table where a lamp was placed, hugging your knees tight to your chest as you sit on your white, tucked-in tail. Your poor ears were tugged down in dismay.

“Come out, come out wherever you are!” Your master declares, his cold, chilling voice causing you to mewl. You croon your face in between your knees, bottom lip quivering in fear.

“You can’t hide away from your bullshit forever, Y/n!”

Elijah begins to search the house, looking behind and under every furniture as possible. He had no mercy whatsoever. His blood boils when his eyes drag across the ruined carpets and pillows, the white stuffings scattered all over the floor. Nothing else annoys him more than coming back home every goddamn day to see his apartment scattered in clutter because you couldn’t seem to be a normal fucking hybrid.

It wasn’t hard for Elijah to spot your furry tail. He rolls his eyes and comes walking towards your fearful figure with long strides of his feet. You emit a loud squeal when Elijah tightly grabs onto your frail arms, forcing you out underneath the table – making you bump your head on the glass.

“Stand up.” Elijah blurts, voice filled with malice. Your body continues to tremble, biting your trembling lip. You didn’t dare to make eye-contact with him, staring down at your stocking-covered legs.

“Are you deaf, girl? I said fucking stand.”

The timbre of voice that he used was harsh, commanding, and loud. You obeyed in an instant, afraid of what’s about to come. Elijah grabs both of your wrists in one big hand, preventing you to do anything to him. He presses his body against yours, noticing that he was breathing very heavily.

His other hand pulls against the charm of your black collar, easily ripping the pendant which engraved his initials. Elijah throws the pendant on the floor like it was nothing but a piece of trash.

Your eyes immediately start to tear up.

“Ma…Master…” you sniffle, trying to pry your hands away.

Elijah shushes you, unclasping the leather collar with one hand, and he throws that on the ground as well.

“I’m so glad that you can’t talk properly. Sadly though, your annoying unruliness makes up for that. I’m so tired of your bullshit.” He pulls you with him in front of the door where your fluffy slippers lay messily, instructing you to put them on.

Elijah grabs his car keys from his pockets and drags you outside the apartment, down the stairs, and outside to his car. He scoffs when you were trying to escape his tight hold, but he encloses you with his arm around your waist.

Tugging you close to him, he whispers in your ear, “Don’t try to escape from me, kitty. You know I can fucking bruise your sensitive skin anytime I want. Huh, you’re fucking lucky to even receive a bruise from your master.”

Elijah drives farther and farther away from his place, not knowing where he’s taking you. You were sobbing hysterically, your tears dripping down your cheeks just like the hard downpour of rain outside. The roads were dim and the sky was dark from the thick clouds blocking the sunset.

He was sick of your cries, he was. He couldn’t wait to get rid of you.

“W-Where…?” you finally speak, wiping your tears with the back of your hands, turning your head to face your Master.

Well… not anymore.

Your chest tightens from the thought, still not wanting to accept it.

“Where are we going?” he completes the sentence from you, “To some person’s doorstep, of course. I can’t stand to live with your ass anymore.” His harsh words made you want to curl up in a little ball. “You’re nothing but a toy to me. I wish I never fucking adopted your bratty ass in the first place. How come is a piece of trash like you so expensive anyway?”

Elijah was sick of your loud sobs, he doesn’t want to be with you anymore. He drives to an upscale district in the neighborhood, a neighborhood that can definitely afford to buy a hybrid like you. So, he spots a large house on the side of the street and he immediately parks.

‘Whatever’, he thinks to himself, opening his car door to walk over to your side. Pulling the handle, he roughly tugs you out, making you stumble on your own feet. The rain instantly drenches your hair, fur, and your clothes, the cold water making your body shiver. 

He orders you stay put in a stranger’s doorstep, his bigger body towering over yours.

“Kneel.” He commands.

You obey.

“You stay here until someone fucking finds you, okay, brat?”

“Master—” you claw onto his feet, begging with your eyes, “M-Master no…”

“Shhh, shhh,” Elijah caresses your cheek. The warmth of his palm allowed you to press against it in utter need, wanting to go back home with him. He strokes your hair once, twice, before he sharply pulls. “Shut the fuck up. You deserve this.”

Without giving you a final look, he turns away and walks back to his car. Elijah, from inside the vehicle, watches you sob with your palms on the cemented doorstep, your shoulders heaving up and down. He didn’t regret his decision at all.

‘Finally, peace…’

Namjoon hears loud bangs coming from his front door. He gets up from his bed, rubbing his eyes. He was in a deep sleep already! Who could be knocking so loudly at this hour?

Still, in his pajamas and no shirt, he strolls outside his bedroom while rubbing his eyes. He figures that it may just be the kids that were throwing rocks at the people’s doors again. Namjoon always wonders where their parents were.

He turns the doorknob, “I swear if you kids keep—”

Namjoon gasps when he sees you curled up, soaking wet from the rain.

A hybrid.

His mind immediately panics and wonders what he’s supposed to do with you. He has never seen a hybrid before, for he only heard them on the news. He’s read countless stories of people adopting certain hybrids – make them as pets, but he’s never seen a cat hybrid before.

“Hello?” his deep, sensual voice instantly instills inside your brain. Elijah always had a high-pitched tone, and this man’s tone was utterly different. You’ve never heard anything like his before.

Your big, swollen eyes from crying too much stared up at him. Namjoon notices your ears and tail twitch when he squats down to get a better look at you.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay,” he gulps, “W-Why are you here?”

He wonders if you can talk. However, you did not give him any reply. Your master always taught you to be careful of random strangers, especially a man.

When he reaches a hand out for you, your instincts kicked in and you immediately lean forward, biting him, sinking your sharp teeth on his skin.  

“Oww! Fuck—” Namjoon curses, rubbing his gnawed hand. You back away from him, whimpering, scared that he might attack you as your master did. “Hey, I’m not gonna hurt you,” Namjoon tries to say calmly, eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t go away, don’t. I promise I won’t do anything bad to you.”

Namjoon knows one thing, though. Cat hybrids are supposed to have owners. They shouldn’t be wandering around the area like this, and if they were, adoption centers would’ve had taken them.

And for that, he detects the red marks that wrapped around your neck, making it seem like there had been a collar – previously wrapped tight.  

“Come in,” he whispers gently, standing up and making room for you to enter, “I’ll keep you safe.”

Safe.

Safe.

Safe.

That word was familiar to you. You repeated it over and over in your mind to make you remember where you’ve heard that from.

‘I’ll keep you safe.’

The same words your master told you.  

“N-No!” You furiously shake your head, “Y-You lie…”

Namjoon’s eyes widen. He sees you visibly tremble, your tail in a downright position behind you. “Oh, goodness,” he sighs, “Trust me, dear. I have no bad intentions with you. Look!” Namjoon tries to keep a gentle, caring tone in his voice, hoping that you’d trust him, “It’s raining so hard here, and you’re soaking your precious fur! I bet you’re so cold…”

You were. You were freezing your butt off. Nodding your head, you mewled pathetically.

A smile forms Namjoon’s lips, “See? If you come inside, I’ll keep you warm and get you some much comfy clothes, dear. You won’t be sleeping in cold concrete.”

His soft, gentle yet deep tone allowed you to slowly ease into his comfort.

“You can sleep in a soft, plush, comfy bed if you want!” He beams, the sleepiness in his body long gone. “Come, come inside and let me take care of you.”  

A nod of your head was all it took for him to take your little hands in his, helping you stand up from your position. He was shocked by how smaller you are than him. But then again, he was indeed a tall person.

You slowly enter the unfamiliar place, though wondering how his area was so neat.

Namjoon cringes a little when your slippers created dirty, wet prints on his wooden floor. “Stay here, dear. I’ll get some fresh clothes and a towel to dry you off, okay?”

You don’t respond, too busy observing his very tidy house.

“Hey,” he unconsciously smirks, tilting your head up with a finger beneath your chin to make you lock eyes with him. “Did you hear what I said?”

A cheeky giggle escapes your mouth, eyes creasing into little crescents while you shake your head ‘no.’

“I said,” he repeats, “I’ll be right back.”

As you watch the strangely kind man walk out into a room and out of your sight, there was no hesitation for you to climb onto the large L-shaped couch that was previously capturing your attention. There was a huge fireplace adjacent to the couch, feeling amused because you haven’t seen anything like that before. Although wet, you didn’t care. Your head feverishly tilts in all directions, eager to see such new areas.

Noticing that there were a lot of plants, your ears peaked up in interest. They are everywhere!

Namjoon comes back with a towel and clothes in his hands. However, his chest drops when he sees that you’ve made yourself comfortable on the couch.

Great.

He shakes his head, trying to hide his slight exasperation with a timid laugh. He crouches in front of you so that he can clean your damp hair and ears with the towel. You were trying to pry away from him, moving your head left and right, shaking your head – obviously in a playful mood already.

“Dear,” he chuckles, “let me clean you up. C’mon now.”

You let out a little squeak when he cleans your fluffy ears, then your face. Down to your neck and your hands. The rest of your body was covered with your long sweater, cotton shorts, and stockings. He wonders if you’ll let him take them off…

“Do you wanna get changed?” he asks you.

He didn’t expect the frantic, almost desperate nod.

“Oh. Do you want me to take your clothes off?”

“Mhm!”

Namjoon gulps the ball that formed in his throat. He’s a grown adult, he shouldn’t be nervous about this. But then again, you were still half-human and a total stranger… it was unbelievable how you trusted him enough.

He grabs the hem of your sweater and slowly tugs it upward, revealing your soft, supple-looking skin. An immediate exhale leaves from his lips when you thankfully had worn a bra underneath. You raise your arms, letting him take the damp clothing out of you. “Here you go…” Namjoon slips on the large plain black shirt that almost covered half of your body. You giggle when you felt that it was so warm and soft, and very comfortable for it was twice your size.

Namjoon strips your stockings off, followed by your shorts. He makes you wear one of his boxers, all while having a content smile on your face. Pulling the neckline of his shirt up to your nose, you smelled his scent that instantly got you hooked. Namjoon chuckles, “Yes, dear?”

There was a glint in your eyes, looking up at him with a bright smile.

“Aww, you comfy?” he asks gently, lifting a hand to rub your arm. He didn’t expect a verbal reply from you, for he already learned that you don’t talk much. Although it can be seen from your content and calm expression, you were now perfectly fine.

Namjoon eventually seized the opportunity to take you in. A cat hybrid. In his house. Playing with the pillow covers. As he sits beside you on the couch, with an arm resting on the backrest and his left leg hiked up to his right knee, he wonders if you were still claimed.  

“Hey, hey,” he gets your attention by caressing your back. You turn around with big, innocent eyes.

“Do you have a name, dear?”

Namjoon hears you mutter something underneath your breath, but he can’t seem to get a hold of it. “Say that again?”

“Y/n…” you repeat with a little tilt of your head. Your ears perked when he rubs the top of your head soothingly.

He repeats the name over and over his mind. “Y/n… good.”

His hand moves down to your chin, using his thumb to rub gentle circles on the skin. He sees that there were freckles scattered all over your face. “Kitten. You’re still a kitten, aren’t you Y/n?”

Your tail hikes up, moving closer to the nameless man carefully.  

“I’m taking that as a yes,” he breathes out, spreading his legs apart so that you can sit in between his thighs. “Do you want me to call you kitten?”  

Namjoon finds your little whines so adorable. Once you’ve sat down, you allowed your right hand to carefully rest against his bare chest, feeling him. Your striking blue eyes, soft fluffy white tail and ears deeply resembles a white Persian kitten. Namjoon assumes that that’s your breed.

“Kitten,” he whispers, feeling pity of you all of a sudden. He holds your hand that was on his chest, “Why were you left out on the rain like that?”

With those words, your head hangs low and your eyes well up again. You clench your wrists tightly, “M-Master…”

Namjoon quietly gasps when he sees a single tear dripping down your cheek. Oh god, he shouldn’t have asked this question.  

“Aw, kitten,” he tuts, wiping your tear away, “It’s okay. I understand now.”

Based on what happened, it was easy for him to connect the dots. You were abandoned by your master and was left at his doorstep. Namjoon couldn’t even imagine how you, a poor kitten, would’ve felt. Someone who you once deeply trusted and who you gave all the power to take care of you could betray you like that – it must’ve been heartbreaking.

Guessing with the marks of the collar that were engraved on your neck, it must have been recent.

Namjoon takes your face in his hands, making you look at him. His eyes were looking into you like your master once did, so full of adoration. But now you guess that you weren’t his anymore.

“Don’t cry, kitten. I’ll protect you. I’m not gonna let anyone take you. You’ll stay here for a couple of days before I figure out what to do with you, okay?”

You nod once, a pout on your lips.

To make you feel a little bit better, Namjoon rubs the back parts of your flattened ears. He hears an unexpected purr, causing him to chuckle. Shivers run throughout your body. He figures that you like these ear rubs.

“I’ll get you a big, warm blanket and you can sleep here, alright, Y/n?”

You move away from him so that he can stand up. With round eyes, the kind man gets up and walks away once again.

You yawn, sleepiness getting the best of you. You try to find the comfiest spot on the couch before settling yourself in. This wouldn’t be too bad… it’s much better than sleeping outside with the cold rain!

When Namjoon comes back, he sees that you’re already fast asleep. Once again, his heart clenches. He pities you, for who would even ditch a precious, good little kitten like you are.

He quietly covers your curled up figure with the blanket, careful not to wake you up. He rubs the back of your ear once, twice, before shutting the main light of the living room off. He flicks the lamp on the corner of the room so that it wasn’t pitch dark. Namjoon also makes sure that the door was locked – who knows what could happen.

“Poor thing…” he whispers to himself, right before he tucks himself in bed.

Right after Namjoon wakes up, just the minute he opens his tired, puffy eyes, he sees something white in his view. A tail.

You were sat meekly in his lap with your back to him, cheeks pressed down against the sheets, waiting for him to wake up. Once you feel him move, quickly – you let out an unconscious mewl, greeting him with a happy smile.

“Oh, Y/n,” Namjoon says, his morning voice causing him to sound deep and raspy. “Good morning… I didn’t expect you to be on my bed!” He laughs a little awkwardly.

You crawl further up to him, hands softly pressing against the bed. Your innocent, happy smile was now replaced with a cheeky, teasing smirk. Namjoon’s hand lifts to pet your head, his soft fingertips scratching behind your ear. Involuntarily, you nuzzle your nose into the crook of his neck, smelling his pleasant scent.

“Y/n…” he warns when he feels you get closer to him.

What’s the reason to stop? You mentally ask yourself with a chuckle.

Without thinking, you gave his honeydew neck a broad lick, hearing him gasp, and bite his neck just hard enough until there was a little mark.

“Hey!” Namjoon bursts while he pushes you away from him, making you lay back down on the bed. He took the opportunity to get on top of you, pinning you down with his hands on your wrists.

His bed hair, all messy and tangled, flows perfectly down to his forehead that almost covered his eyes. He feels somewhat irritated from the way you were smiling so mischievously, a bold gaze painted across your eyes.

“Naughty,” he whispers, lowering his head down until it rests almost against your ear, “Stop that.”

His grip on your wrist tightens, and it fueled your instincts to just bite. Tilting your head a little to the right, you jerk forward as an attempt to sink your teeth into the skin of his wrist, but Namjoon was quicker to move it away.

“Well, well,” he chuckles, climbing out of the bed but still keeping an eye on you. “Obeying isn’t easy for you, huh?”

Namjoon walks up to his closet to grab himself some clothes with you watching idly on the bed. You decide to sit up and rest your back against the headrest.

“Anyhow, I need to go to work, so you’re staying here until I get back home.” He hears a little whimper coming from you, but he ignores the sound, “Do you understand?”

You nod once, tapping your foot impatiently on the bed.

Oh, the fun you’ll have when he’s not here…

“Wait a second, you still don’t know my name, do you?” He partly laughs mid-sentence. “Excuse my manners! I’m Namjoon, but you can call me Joon for short—”

“Master.”

Namjoon’s forehead creases immediately, “Ma—I’m not your master, kitten,” he says breathily.

“Master!” you insist, whining in your seat.

“No, kitten. You don’t belong to anyone yet. You have no master.”

Oh. You felt something stinging in your chest – as if a spear has been pierced through your heart.

Namjoon doesn’t think much about what he said, for he believes that he’s just telling the truth. He walks out of the room and to the bathroom to get himself ready for work, about to give this whole household all to yourself.

When he arrives at the agency, Namjoon scurries to the conference room in a rush. He lowers his facemask, looking at the watch on his wrist.

9:39 A.M.

The sliding door unlocks and he was quickly greeted with the rest of the boys already seated on their designated areas around the long table, supposedly ready for an album launch consultation. He emits a sigh, “Sorry, I’m late.”

Thankfully, the CEO was late too.

Yoongi chuckles, clasping his hands together in front of him on the table, “You know, Namjoon, you’ve been tardy more times than Jungkook lately—”

“Yeah!” Jungkook abruptly buts in.  

“—did your alarm not wake you up again?”

How can he say that there’s a kitten hybrid in his house without the boys finding him delirious?

But either way, the members always deserve to have honest answers.

He takes a seat in between Hoseok and Jimin, who were patiently waiting for a response like the rest of them. “So, um, you guys know all about those… hybrids, right?”

A few of them chuckled, some of them replied with a “yes.”

“You did not just buy a hybrid, Kim Namjoon!” Seokjin half-yells and half-laughs.

“Aren’t those expensive?” Hoseok inquires, “Well… you are a multi-millionaire…”

“No, I didn’t buy anything!” he retaliates, “A stray kitten hybrid has been left on my doorstep last night and I took her in my home!”

“Huh?!” almost everyone exclaims synchronically. “A kitten hybrid?” Jimin questions, “Like… half kitten, half…” he almost can’t finish his words from how other-worldly he thinks he sounds, covering his mouth with his hand.

“Half-human, yeah.” Namjoon completes his sentence.

He can feel the rising tension inside the room. Even though the air conditioning was on, Namjoon feels himself getting hotter each second.

“If this goes out to the public…” Taehyung mumbles, “It’ll be all over the news. They’d think you’ve adopted or bought one, hyung.”

“Who’s looking out for her?” Hoseok asks, looking straight at Namjoon’s eyes.

“It’s a her?!” Jungkook whisper-shouts, eyes were blown wide.

“Hey!” Jimin slaps the younger’s arm, “You weren’t listening!”

“Yeah, yeah, God,” Namjoon frustratingly rakes his hands through his dark hair. ”She’s like… abandoned from her original owner…”

Suddenly, like a flash appearing inside his mind and taking over his train of thoughts, your pleading, desperate face when he first saw you outside his house overtook his head. He remembers how woeful, miserable, and heartbreaking you looked – all drenched from the rain with your wet hair framing your face. White fur has been soaked and ears pulled down in despair. Namjoon can almost hear your gloomy little noises, those pleading mewls going past your lips.

Oh, how pitiful you were.

“Kim Namjoon!” Hoseok breaks him out of his ruminating thoughts with a violent shake of his shoulders. He laughs uncontrollably right after, filling the room with endorphins. “She’s abandoned, okay we get that, then what?”

Namjoon giggles embarrassingly, lowering his head down while his dimples appear on his cheeks.

“Uh, I mean—I couldn’t just leave the poor thing outside. It was raining heavily at the time so I opted to just let her stay in with me.”

“What are you going to do with her?” Taehyung asks curiously, “Will you take her back to the centers?”

The truth was, Namjoon wasn’t thinking about bringing you back to the adoption center. It’s too early for him to decide if he wants to keep you or not. But one thing’s for sure, though, that he loves the bratty personality that you’re putting up with him.

“I don’t know if I want to.”  

From the car ride back home, Namjoon was on his phone researching all about these so-called hybrids. Everyone has heard of them – it’s no secret. But having to receive one was never a plan of his.

‘Kitten Hybrids.’ He types on the search engine.

‘Kitten hybrids usually grow to an average height of four-and-a-half to five feet, depending on their breeds. These hybrids are created either from an infant instilled with feline DNA the day they were born, or the result of two cat hybrids breeding.’

Namjoon was already aware of all of that. He was acquainted with the knowledge of how hybrids are created when it was less widespread than today.

‘Just like regular, ordinary animals, the younger ones are most likely to have insubordinate and rebellious tendencies, whether a male or a female. When not guided and coached properly by their first owner – kittens will most likely display abysmal behavior. The possessors of this hybrid must know their duty to ensure that your kitten knows what is right and what is wrong.’

Namjoon is dropped off at his house and finally, after hearing the lock jingle, you skipped your way to the front door with a happy, wide smile plastered on your face.

You whine while embracing his taller, muscular build in your short arms. Namjoon gasps from the unexpected action, almost hesitant to hug you back. “K-Kitten…” he exhales, “hey.” He closes the door behind him with one hand, as the other rubs the back of your ears. Purring, you press your cheek against his chest.

“Did you miss me? What did you do while I was g— oh my fucking god.” Once Namjoon looks up to scan the living room, it was all a horrible, jungle of mess. His indoor plants were shoved down to the floor, dirt all over the place with the expensive vases shattered. His pillows and the cushion of his couch were littered everywhere. Books had fallen to the ground at the opposite side of the room. It was like a magnitude five earthquake had just occurred.

He looks down at you with a serious gaze, eyes unwavering with his forehead creased in dissatisfaction. Namjoon clenches his jaw tightly when he hears a quiet, almost discreet breathy giggle coming out of you.

Brat. He thinks.

“Are you proud of the mess you’ve made?”

“Mhm,” you nod your head happily.

“That’s fortunate.” Namjoon was quick to shrug his coat off, leaving it on the coat rack whilst sliding his shoes off. He takes a deep inhale through his nose, “You know what you’re doing is wrong, Y/n.”

You tilt your head to the side in utter confusion. Why doesn’t he seem… angry?

Slowly walking backward until your ankle hits the couch, you sit down timidly. Watching Namjoon clean up your mess was a weird, yet a new sight. He wasn’t screaming at you, punishing you – he isn’t doing what Elijah did.

Namjoon quietly cleans the shattered vase and dirt with a handy broomstick, smirking to himself when he hears a whine coming from your lips.

“This vase is expensive you know, Kitten?” he chimes, smiling in your direction. “But that’s okay. We can buy a replacement. I was getting a little sick of this plant anyway.”

Your eyes widen. There was a feeling inside of you that you can’t seem to decipher. After creating the mess you’ve made, you prepared yourself for a whole spanking from him. But it didn’t come. It was so unusual for you that he isn’t here yelling his lungs out.

Namjoon collects the trash on the dustpan and throws it in the bin. It was amusing for him that you were just sitting there prettily; your hands on your thighs while your white tail keeps swaying behind you. Your face shows a clear image of confusion, which was entirely Namjoon’s plan.

You were used to all the shouts and screams, thinking that it was normal. But he was showing you a reaction you’ve never seen before. Maybe if he doesn’t give you the reaction that you anticipate, you’ll stop misbehaving, and he can teach you some good morals.

A mewl leaves your lips, trying to get his attention. Pouting, you call out for him, “J-Joon…”

“Yes, Kitten?” he chuckles, placing the broomstick at a corner. “Come here.”

Without hesitation, you get up to walk over to him. Although, your body quickly stops when he clicks his tongue firmly. “Tch, no. Crawl. Crawl to me.”

Your intuition takes over you and within a second, you were down on all fours, making your way to him. With big, wide eyes, you held eye-contact with him. Namjoon watches your hips swing side to side, tail upright. He purses his lips to a thin line, trying to stop from grinning too wide.

Once you were at his feet, Namjoon slightly leans down until his hand can reach your head. He combs your soft, beautiful hair – and of course, not missing the opportunity to rub the back of your ear. He hears you purr.  

“You don’t do this, Y/n,” he mutters as soft as possible, “It’s bad to ruin other people’s stuff. Don’t go destroy every possible thing you can destroy, okay? Are you a good kitten?”

Your nose twitches from his question – of course, you are!

“Y-Yea…” you murmur.

“Well, good little kittens don’t do this. They don’t act like this. If you wanna be good, behave for me, don’t make a mess, and maybe I’ll reward you.”

Namjoon can notice the change of your eyes from the word ‘reward’.

‘Were you even rewarded before?’ He thinks to himself. The thought of you not even receiving something good breaks his big heart.

“Do you want that? You want a reward?” Namjoon grabs your face in both of his hands. He giggles from the way you nodded so fast. “Then be a good kitten for me.”

In the next couple of days, Namjoon was surprised by your every improvement; whether how little or big the change might be. However, there was still an itching need for you to push over and break his newly-bought Snake plant. You still had to work on that.

The thing that was driving you to your goal of being ‘good’ was Namjoon’s so-called reward for you. You have no clue what it might be, but you still feel excited about it.

Your old master was now forgotten. Before, his face occasionally appears in your mind for a brief second. But as Namjoon continuously showers you with compliments, kindness, and praise that Elijah couldn’t give you to, all you can ever think about now is making Namjoon proud. That was your overall goal.

“Y/n, don’t bite!” Namjoon chuckles right after you tempted to gnaw his wrist when as he gives you food. “What are you, huh? I think you’re much naughtier than a pup!” He slowly moves his hand forward again, third try feeding you with nuggets. As you sat idly on the couch, legs on a ‘W’ position with your hands on your lap, Namjoon instructs you to keep your eyes on him.

“What will you say?” he giggles when he sees your pout. “Say please.”

Please?

You tilt your head to the side to let him know your confusion about the word that had just been added to your small vocabulary. Namjoon leans back, purely baffled. Was your master such a piece of shit for not teaching you basic things like this?

“U-Um, listen… okay?” he stammers, his mind still in bewilderment. “ ’Please’ is what you say when you want something from someone.”

Namjoon starts to get lost in your beautiful eyes.

“When you want to ask for something, when you need something; may it be food, water, comfort, or attention – just say please, and your master will surely give it to you.”

You look down, tucking your tail to sit on it. “But h-have no m-master,” you mutter.

Namjoon was quick to tilt your head back up with his unoccupied hand, wrapping his hand around your jaw. You whimper quietly. “Don’t worry, Y/n,” he smiles, trying to make you feel better, “At least you have me, right?”

You affirm him with a nod.

“Good. Now c’mon, say please and I’ll let you eat.”

“Please…” you whisper, eyes wide. He chuckles lovingly, adoring the way you said that so cutely. He feeds you the chicken nugget whilst placing the square box down beside you. He combs your hair with slender fingers, releasing all of the knots.

“Good girl, baby.”

From that single sentence, you gasp.

Why did your stomach… flutter?

“Oh… err,” Namjoon meekly laughs after realizing what he said, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah.”

After being with Namjoon after a whole week, you’ve never been more comfortable. He has brought you a whole bag of toys and even new clothes for you to try on.

“Have you been spoiled like this before, hm?” he asks cockily, watching you twirl around with your new outfit. For the past days, you’ve been wearing his clothes, it was great that you can finally have your own!

You shake your head as an answer.

“Pass me the bag, kitten,” Namjoon asks you, raising a brow to see if you’ll obey.

Without hesitation, you grab the shopping bag and gave it to him. He chuckles, “Thank you, Y/n.”

“Y-You’re welcome,” you reply shyly, using the new phrase that he once taught you.  

Watching him rummage through the bag as he sits down on the edge of the bed, you feel quite the anticipation. He mumbles something underneath his breath, although you couldn’t quite catch what it was.

“Here it is.”

Your eyes shine, tail jerking upward in excitement when you saw what the object was.

There beholds a pink collar in his hand, dotted with shiny silvery beads. Your mouth forms a wide grin, itching to put it on.

“Kneel before me, baby.”

He unclasps the collar and puts it around your neck. It was a perfect size. He makes sure that it wasn’t too tight nor too loose – just snug enough to remind you that it’s there.

“So pretty,” he whispers. Whining, he grips your chin and pulls you close to him. “You’re so fucking pretty.”

Namjoon growls darkly right after, and it shocked you. You’ve never seen him like this before, heck, you’ve never felt anything like this, too. A trail of goosebumps arises to the skin of your arms and legs just from watching his aura completely change.

“Shit, keep staring at me like that and watch me fucking…” he sighs, “Sorry, Y/n.”

You didn’t have to say anything, but Namjoon can see the way you were rubbing your thighs together. He traces your collar with his index finger, watching his jaw clench tightly. “Do you like it, Kitten?” Namjoon asks, receiving a nod from you.

Your mind doesn’t think any further as you comply with your immediate instinct. You stand up just to sit on his lap, placing your hands on his broad chest. He was surprisingly quick to wrap his strong arms around your body. “Good…” you mumble.

“Good?” he smirks, “What do you mean, Kitten? Is the collar good?”

“Yes, but… m-me.”

Namjoon tries to connect the things that you were saying. “You? What about you?”

“I’m good,” you pull yourself closer to him until your bodies touch each other. Crooning your head beneath his chin, Namjoon can feel your fluffy ears ticking his jawline. “I’m good,” you repeat.

“Yeah baby, shit,” he inhales your scent, cupping the back of your head firmly as he pulls you tighter to him, “Good girl. You’re a good girl. My good fucking kitten – aww fuck ­– what a-are you doing?” He was taken aback when you suddenly start grinding your hips on his jean-clad crotch.  

Your core tingles, a delightful sensation you’ve haven’t felt before. Your cheeks heat up, his neck looking so delicious. Something takes over you and you instantly lean forward, attaching your mouth on his neck. Namjoon hisses as he feels your teeth dig into his skin. The way you whimpered while you ground down on him harder fueled the fire inside of him.

“Kitten,” he growls, twitching as you lick his neck. “You want your reward, yeah? Do you think you’re good enough to deserve to see my cock?”

The way he used his voice; deep, demeaning, and teasing, caused you to let out a quiet moan. “Yes… p-please!”

“Yeah, you do?” he smirks, “Then strip. Let’s see if you can follow instructions and do as you’re told.”

Standing up, you removed every single inch of the clothing. You were waiting for him to say stop, but he waits until you were fully naked. Shyly, you finally pulled your cotton panties down, stepping out from it. You couldn’t grab the courage to gaze at him, for his eyes were like lasers that’ll melt you if you look.

“Take my cock out.”

You were needy for you’ve never felt this way before. Everything was too overwhelming. You kneel on the floor and wasted no time to unbutton and unzip his jeans while he took off his shirt. You were salivating.

He was shocked by your eagerness. He helps you tug his jeans down, before guiding you to pull his briefs down as well.

Eyes almost bulging out of your sockets, they widen as his half-hard cock finally comes to show. Namjoon laughs lightly from your reaction, closing your parted mouth with his fingers beneath your chin.  

‘Whatever!’ You think, before taking matters in your own hand.

“Fuck!” Namjoon bucks his hips when you suddenly grabbed the base of his cock, leaving a wet and sloppy lick from his balls up to his tip. His body shivers, eyes almost rolling to the back of his head. “Fucking bitch…” he mutters under his breath.

A cheeky giggle, a mischievous smile, all of those caused Namjoon to let out a disapproving sigh. He harshly cups your jaw, “Did I tell you to do that, huh?” he forces two long fingers inside your mouth, making you choke on it, “Did I?”

His slender digits hit the back of your throat, making you gag. Shaking your head profusely as an answer, he chuckles.

“That’s right, I didn’t. Have you forgotten everything that I’ve taught you already, huh?” Namjoon uses his strength to carry you from the floor to lay you down on the bed behind him. His cock throbs from the way you were clenching your legs together, desperate for some sort of friction down there.

“Spread your legs.” He commands.

Hesitantly, you hike your legs up to plant your feet on the mattress. Namjoon withholds his urge to just dive right in your pussy, for it was too fucking long since he’s tasted one. “Go on, kitten. Let me see your cute pussy.”

His words alone were enough to make you shiver. You mewl in embarrassment as you displayed your cunt all to himself, spreading your knees apart.

“Oh, fuck,” he exhales, “you’re dripping.” He starts to slowly run his big, warm hand up and down your thigh, heightening your sensitivity. “Who made you this wet, hm?”

“Joon...” you squeak as he inches his hand closer and closer to your throbbing heat. Bucking your hips up, you try to meet with his hand but it only resulted in him pulling away.

“Me? I see, kitten.” He grins before laying down on his stomach, his head in front of your pussy as he gets ready to eat you out. His lips slightly brush against your inner thighs, prodding his tongue out to lick around your core. Your legs involuntarily jerk from the weird yet erotic feeling. “What made you wet?”

“D-Don’t know,” you whisper. It was true that you didn’t know. All that you knew that you became needy for him and that’s it. There was no reason why. Namjoon clicks his tongue and stops you from bucking your hips too much. He growls and pins your hips down. “Stay. Still.”

Without wasting any more time, he doesn’t go for the ‘gentler’ route for he was quick to lick a firm, heavy line from your dripping hole and to your clit. He watches your body’s immediate reaction, trembling. He keeps his eye contact with you as he does this a second time, hearing your loud, heavy pants.

“Feel good?” Namjoon mutters, “Do you want more? Or do you want us to stop—”

“No! No!” you instantly reply with a shake of your head, “M-More please!”

Please. He was satisfied with your answer and dived back in. He firstly teases your slick by giving fast-paced licks on your wet folds, drawing patterns, and figure eights to bring you to blissful pleasure. You arch your back, whimpering from the newly discovered feeling. It was scary to feel so good, but you can’t stop.  

“This pussy tastes so fucking good, mmngg…” he wraps his mouth around your little clit, sucking harshly on it. He smirks in the process because of your constant cute noises.  He watches your face twist in satisfaction, your neck and chest dampening from the accumulation of sweat.

“You like that, hm? Like my tongue playing with your cute, sweet virgin pussy?” he groans before continuing his work on you, both sucking and flicking quick licks on your clit at the same time. Your body writhes on the bed, your hands going down to grip onto his hair. Namjoon grunts from your sudden sharp tugs, the pain making his cock twitch. Namjoon was unconsciously grinding his hips down on the bed, resulting in a few moans and delightful hums coming out of him.  

“Yeah? Wait until I fucking tear your tight pussy apart with my thick cock.”

The wet, slurping noises added to the heat and sensuality of it all. He collects the juices that dripped down your entrance on his tongue, tasting your sweet nectar. Your scent was addicting, so sweet, and it just made him want to eat you out on his bed all day and make you cum again and again.

“Ooohh m-my—aaaghh!” You suddenly felt a rapid, burning sensation when Namjoon decided to insert the tip of his middle finger inside your pussy. Your walls were tight around his digit and it only urged him to push it in deeper. “Mhmm, there you go,” he chuckles darkly, “Fucking take it, Kitten, wanna stretch your pussy walls out. You don’t wanna disappoint your master, do you?”

‘Master?!’ Your face lights up, eyes enlarging.

Namjoon sees your reaction to his words, knowing damn well what he’s doing to you.

“You heard me, Kitten.” Namjoon pumps his digit at a steady pace, trying to find your sweet spot. “I’m gonna fucking own you after I fuck this cunt.”

He alternates between sucking your clit and thrashing his wet, warm tongue along your slit, all while his finger was moving oh-so-slowly inside of you. You pulled on his hair harder as he eagerly ate your pussy out need to make you feel good. “Master… master!” you pant, starting to see stars, “I— oohh please!”

“Hold it.” He commands with a rough voice, “Hold your fucking cum, or I’m not gonna fuck you.”

You whimper loudly, thrashing your head side to side from the overwhelming sensation. Your core feels like it was about to burst any second as it tightens and tightens. “Master!” you squeal, legs shaking when he starts to rapidly flick your clit. Namjoon didn’t care that you were thrusting your hips so frantically up against him anymore, he finds it so hot that you are so reckless.

You obey and held yourself from cumming, just as he told you. You wanted to be obedient and follow his instructions. With a final, harsh lick of your soaked cunt, he denies your orgasm and allows himself to lean back and see the mess he’s created.

Face fucked out and cheeks blushing, chest heaving up and down, your cunt throbbing in a desire to cum. You look so perfect.

“Master,” you cry, “More…”

“More? Awwh, my pretty kitten wants more?” he bites down on his lip, wrapping his hand around his cock to stroke it a couple of times. “Aren’t you fucking ashamed of yourself for being such a horny slut for your master?”

You watch his actions with wide eyes, noticing some white liquid pouring out from his tip. Namjoon collects his precum and lathers it all over his shaft, hissing in pleasure.

“Master’s gonna fuck your tiny cunt with his cock now. It’s big, isn’t it?” he smirks, dimples peeking through.

You nod shyly. ‘How is it gonna fit?’

He shifts his position until he was hovering above you, legs on either side of yours. He traps your body with his arms. “Who’s my good girl?” he asks in a deep whisper, lips ghosting against yours. He aligns the tip of his cock upon your entrance, “Tell me, baby. Who’s my good, obedient little kitten?”

“I-I am, master.”

“Correct. I want you to always remember that, slut.” Namjoon abruptly shoves the tip of his cock in, stretching your pussy out and letting your walls accommodate his thick, big size. You gasp loudly, eyes rolling back as your hips quiver in pleasure.

Namjoon surpasses a moan, crooning his head in between your neck and shoulders. He starts to thrust hastily, not letting you adjust. “There, there. Take that dick. Your pussy’s fucking made for me, kitten.”

There was a slight sting of pain as Namjoon starts pounding, but you try to push it to the back of your mind and focusing on the new feeling. Your mouth gapes, the sounds escaping were fast-paced ah’s after every hard thrust.

Your hands were quick to wrap around Namjoon’s body before your fingers suddenly scratch his back. He grunts loudly from the sharp, stinging pain of your nails. “Kitten… fucking shit,” he moans, “K-Keep doing that… o-okay? You can scratch my back any… aah yea—anytime.”

Your scratches caused bright red marks on his skin, but the sting was driving him to fuck you harder. “Aww, fuck, my poor little pet,” Namjoon says through an airy moan, “Want master to stop? Hm?” he angles his hips better so that he can hit that certain sweet spot inside of you. “Is it too much for your bratty cunt to handle?”

”Wrap your legs around your master, c’mon baby, let me fuck you deeper,” Namjoon grunts once you obeyed, his big cock doing its job to make you feel good, wanting him to be your only first and last cock you’re ever going to get.

His tip rubs up against your g-spot, hitting such unexplored places. You arched your back as your legs shook violently, “Oh, oh, oh, oh—!” high-pitched moans erupt from you with every thrust. “S-So good!”

His lips tickle the side of your neck, teasingly giving wet, sloppy kisses. Your body shivers, being your neck a newly-found sensitive place. “Master…” you whimper, closing your eyes, “Please…”

“Please what, kitten? Do you want to cum, mhm? Cum around your master’s dick?” He says in a teasing way, assuming how much you liked it when he talks dirty because of your pussy constantly tightening around his dick.

Everything around you feels and sounds lewd; the two of you were moaning without care of whoever’s listening, his balls were slapping against your ass, bodies so close together. His neck looks so good right now, the skin beading with sweat, and you can’t stop your temptation to taste him.

Leaning forward, you open your mouth and clasped your sharp teeth down on his neck, whining in the process. Namjoon shudders, biting his lip from the delicious pain. He leans his head more to the side to allow you more access.

“Fucking fuck,” groaning, he grabs your neck and pushes you away from him. “Turn the fuck around, kitten. Lay on your stomach, yeah that’s it.”

You turn around and there on Namjoon’s sight was your pretty, white tail. He bites his lip and gives it a taunting tug, making you wiggle your butt. With the new position, he pounds your pussy while his hips continuously bounce against your ass.

“A-Ahh, there we go. You like it when I fuck you raw?” he growls against your ear. “Mhm, yeah I know you do. You like the feeling of my cock drilling your pussy, right? You want someone to coat this pure little pussy with cum.” Namjoon starts to feel animalistic once he wraps his strong, muscular arms around your neck, bringing you into a tight chokehold. You couldn’t hold back your squeals, feeling hot as he restricts your breathing.

His thrusts turn inhumanely fast, “So tight, fuuuuck kitten. I’m gonna fucking burst my cum into you, make you fucking pregnant with my kids, oh god—” Namjoon doesn’t care about what he says, his words falling carelessly out of his mouth, “You would want that, do you? Your body probably isn’t ready to carry my children, hm? But oh goodness fuck you would look so good,” the fantasy continues to play in his mind, fueling him to pound you harder with his rock solid cock, “You’d look so fucking hot, your little belly so round. I wanna fill your tight, warm pussy up ‘til the brim and watch it pour out. You want that?”

You feel dizzy, all too intoxicated with his cock and his dirty words. You only nod for you can’t bring yourself to talk.

“Of course you do, you’re gonna take master’s cum like a good kitten, yeah? Wanna cum with me, baby?” his voice becomes a little high-pitched, cock twitching inside of you, “Just let it all go, baby. Don’t hold back. I’ve got you, you’re safe with me, Y/n.”

You didn’t know how you did it, or why it happened, but you feel yourself coming undone on his thick cock. Your body feels like it was going limp as it keeps shaking and trembling, although his arms were there to keep you in your place. Namjoon sighs as he feels your walls clench so tightly around him, pulsating furiously as you soak his cock with your white, sticky liquid.

“There… fuck yea, that’s my good girl,” he moans, “cum all over me.”

Namjoon swivels his hips in circles, humping you like a fucking dog on a rut.

“Master…!” you wail loudly, practically screaming, “Puh…please!”

Namjoon hasn’t cummed so hard in a long time. His seed spurts deep inside of you, coating you up with his liquid. His thrusts became sloppy, hips jolting for his cock was throbbing so hard. “Shit, shit, shit, shit,” He pants while wrapping his hand around your neck, tightening his hold so that your collar can strangle you. “Take my cum, take it nice and deep, kitten. Fuck you’re such a good girl for master.”

After coming undone, Namjoon pulls out and watches his cum mixed with yours drip down your pussy. It was such an erotic sight, almost reminding him like all those pornos he’s watched. Your tail was hiked straight up into the air, burying your face into the pillow as you purr.

Namjoon flips you back over so that he can see your face. He watches your chest rise up and down in an attempt to catch your breath. You whimper quietly.

“Hm, what is it, kitten?” he strokes your cheek tenderly with the back of his hand.

“Again.”

“Again?!” Namjoon laughs breathily, eyes wide. “Want a round two?”

“Yes, master.” You nod with a frivolous grin.

“What will you say?” He dives his hand down to play with your collar, running his fingers against the studs. “What’s the word, kitten?”

You plead with your eyes, lips forming a pout as you’ve never felt so needy in your entire life. The whole ride felt so good and you wanted to do it again and again and again with him, allowing the two of you to strengthen your bond together. You’re trusting him your entire life, you’re submitting to him. And you’ve never felt safer than before.

“Please.”

His lips connect with yours for a quick, light kiss, “Good.”

Ironically, the next day, Elijah had come knocking at Namjoon’s door with a set of papers in his hand. Namjoon had a protective stance with his arms crossed, eyeing the dude up and down.

‘So this is the guy who exploited my kitten…’

Although Elijah had absolutely no clue that he was talking to the Kim Namjoon of BTS. He was stuttering as he talks, hands shaking.

“I-I’m here to give… oh, uh… the— you know… p-papers… sir.” Elijah gulps, trying his best to keep eye contact with the much taller, bigger man in front of him. “Since, uh, y-you… well I guess since you o-own Y/n now… right?”

Namjoon wanted to punch his face so badly.

Before he replies, Namjoon hears the soft pitter-patter of your feet coming near, until they stop. He turns around to see you frozen in your spot behind him, anger, sadness, and disappointment were written across your face as you saw Elijah. Your blood boils and you quickly stride towards him, wanting to hurt him as he hurt you. You’ve never realized until now how much of an asshole he was towards you in comparison to Namjoon’s kindhearted self. Namjoon has shown you what it actually means to take care of you without all of the abuse that you thought was normal.

“Hey, hey, Kitten,” Namjoon was quick to hold you back before you can even lay a finger on Elijah. He turns you around and holds your face in his hands, “Be good and stay in our room, okay? I’ll be there in a minute,” he sees that your eyes were starting to well up with tears. He clicks his tongue, “Kitten… you don’t have to be afraid, okay? Remember what I always tell you?”

‘I’m gonna keep you safe.’ The sentence reappears in your mind.

With a final nod, you take the chance to give Elijah a scornful look before scurrying back to your room.

Elijah was watching the whole scene unfold with a surprisingly shocked look on his face. “How is she… Y/n’s so—”

“Stop. I don’t want to hear her fucking name coming out of your mouth,” Namjoon spits, grabbing the adoption papers from his hand.

“Well, how the fuck is she so good to you now?! She’s never like that when she’s with me!” Elijah argues.

“Are you dumb? The reason’s so simple. You didn’t train her properly and all you gave her was abuse. Why have a fucking hybrid in the first place…” he trails off while shaking his head in incredulity. “Now step out of my compound for I might just punch you in the face.”

Elijah immediately felt the chills in the back of his neck from the celebrity’s harsh words. “S-Sorry sir,” he raises his hands in an attempt to defend himself, “It will never happen again.”

“If only you’d apologize to Y/n like that.” Without any more final words, he slams the door shut on Elijah’s dumbfounded face.

The two of you couldn’t be any happier. Namjoon had signed the papers and can officially say that he claims you – in every context as possible. He sees you sitting idly on the couch, your eyes focused on the TV as you watched a Dwayne Johnson action movie. Chuckling at how cute you looked, he can’t seem to focus on the breakfast meal he was cooking.

It was until he feels his phone ring, signaling that there was a caller. He reads the I.D.

‘Kim Taehyung.’

He answers the call, “Hello, good morning, Taehyung!”

“Namjoon,” he starts with a strict, domineering tone, catching Namjoon off-guard, “Check the news. Check the news right now, hyung.”

“Woah, woah, woah!” he panics, leaving the kitchen as he speed-walks to you. You watch him in curiosity as he tries to find the remote. “What’s wrong? Is it about us?!”

“Just take a look!” Taehyung half whispers, and half screams.

Namjoon flips through the channels, ignoring your whine that you abruptly disturbed your movie.

His chest instantly tightens from the news headline.

‘RM from BTS spotted with a cat hybrid, along with an unknown man in front of his doorstep!’

Namjoon’s palms sweat, Taehyung’s voice being muffled out from the thoughts that were slowly eating him alive. Namjoon curses under his breath, feeling a sharp sting in his chest. “Oh god…” he shakes his head, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

The news showed an awfully clear picture of him holding Y/n’s face from yesterday, her tail and ears easily caught in the frame. “Did RM just bought a hybrid?” the female news reported says, “The person who took this photo claims that the man in front of RM looked extremely terrified. What could’ve been their conversation?”

As Namjoon was visibly panicking, not knowing what to do – you on the other hand was thrilled to see such a familiar face on the television screen.

“Master!” you squeal, pointing your index finger at the TV, “You!” Taking a closer look, you squint your eyes. After a couple of seconds later, you gasped. It finally dawned upon you.

“And… me?!”

~

Sorry if there were any errors. I’ve already read this numerous of times and every time, I somehow find a new typo. Gosh. 

Thank you for reading! Your support is genuinely appreciated. Ily guys, take care <3 

[tommybaholland]

when their s/o suddenly quits/loses their job

featuring: team captains (aka daichi, kuroo, bokuto, oikawa, wakatoshi, and kita)

dedicated to any post-grads who might be struggling with finding their place in the world right now. you are valuable, especially to the haikyuu boys. enjoy <3

daichi

he’s just as shocked as you are when you tell him 

no matter how you felt about your job, he knew it was important to you and you always tried your best

he’s confident that you’ll find something else easily 

literally the most dependable and supportive boyfriend

“wait, are you serious?”

you shifted in your place while looking down at your feet and nodded. the realization hit hard in that moment as you felt the tears spill over your eyes.

“aww, sweetheart. come here,” he consoled, moving closer to take wrap you up in his arms. “let’s go sit down.”

he takes your bag for you and sets it down before leading you over to sit on the couch. he quietly hushes you while rocking you gently back and forth in his arms. one hand remains on your back while the other comes up to pet your head, smoothing down your hair. 

“i’m so sorry this happened to you, babe. i know you loved working there.”

“maybe i wasn’t doing a good job,” you sniffled before sobbing harder. 

his arms tighten their hold around you. “i don’t think that’s true. you are so wonderful and hardworking, it was probably a really hard decision for them to make. but i’m sure they didn’t do it to you on purpose, sweetness.”

“okay,” you agree, pulling away from him to give a weak smile as you wiped your tears with your sleeve.

“would you like a tissue?” he asks, reaching behind him. “here you go, sweetie. there you go.” 

“i think you’ll find something else in no time,” he encourages while continuing to rub your back. 

you’re not so convinced, still shocked that this even happened to you. “you think so?”

“don’t you think so?” he asked.

you shrugged, avoiding his gaze.

“babe, i absolutely one hundred percent think you will. even if it takes a little while, that’s okay! i know you’ll pull through and get something great or even better than your old job,” he assures. 

you manage to nod and wipe your eyes, mumbling a quiet thank you as you wrap your arms around him. he smiles as you nuzzle into his shoulder.

“we should get you up and doing something to take your mind off of it. are you hungry? i think some food might help clear that pretty head of yours,” he offers, nudging your head gently with his nose. 

kuroo

you had quit your job after finally deciding that it wasn’t good for your mental well-being 

but that was several months ago and you hadn’t been able to find another place that would hire you 

the more time that went on, the more you felt you had little support from others except for kuroo 

he could see that the pressure was weighing hard on you and you were getting more discouraged 

you remained in your seat on the couch as your boyfriend was tugging at your arm, determined to follow through with his plans. 

“please, baby. let me take you out somewhere.”

“i don’t know, tetsu. i’m not sure that i can afford to go out right now,” you reply solemnly. you didn’t mean to be such a downer but it was the truth in your mind. 

“um, what makes you think that you’re paying? i mean, what else do you have me for?” he jokes.

“noooo. that’s even worse,” you object, hiding your face in a pillow. “i don’t want all your hard earned-money to be spent on me, a freeloader.”

he scoffs. “you’re not a freeloader, babe. i want to take you out and treat you to a nice dinner and some good wine. we could go to that bakery that you like too,” he offers, wrapping an arm around your slumped form, rubbing up and down your arm.

then he hears your sniffles. “hey, sweetie. are you crying? oh, no. come here.”

he pulls you closer and you turn to cry into his chest. “i don’t think i deserve it.”

“hey, hey. it’s okay,” he soothes, hugging you tightly. “listen, i know you’ve been having a hard time adjusting with being in-between jobs. you might even regret quitting your old one. but i want you to know that i think you did what was best for you and i’m proud of you for that. and i think you’re doing your best now with what you have. it might not feel like it but you are doing something to help yourself and i think that’s something you should be proud of. so i think you deserve to go out for a fun night with your handsome, charming boyfriend and get your mind off of jobs and everything. so will you please come with me, hmm?”

you sniffle a few more times before looking up at him. “we can go to the bakery?”

“yes, kitten. we can go to the bakery,” he laughs. “if that’s all you want to do, we can just do that. i just want you to relax and see you smile again.”

you nod, giving him a small grin. 

“i’ll take that. thank you, beautiful,” he muses as he wipes a stray tear from your face before leaning in to kiss your forehead. “now, come on. go get ready, babe.” 

bokuto

has a rather overreaction when you tell him that you were let go from your job

meanwhile, you’re unfazed by it and understand their decision 

you try to remain positive about it and he’s happy to see that

insists on helping you look for new jobs and even offers you a spot on the volleyball team

he never took bad news very well, especially when you’re acting so nonchalant about it.

“babe, did you just say that they let you go?”

“yeah?”

“WHAT?! why? how? they can’t do that! so you’re not sad at all?”

you shrug. “i mean, it sucks for sure. but they had to get rid of someone and i was the last person they hired so i understand why they would choose me.” 

“but you’re, like, amazing,” he observes, his hands coming up to squeeze your shoulders. “didn’t they take that into account?”

“thank you, kou,” you grin, patting his cheek lightly. “and yeah. i’d say i was pretty good at my job but honestly, i don’t know that i could see myself working there long-term. and besides, now i can go to all of your games.”

his smile grows ten times bigger as stars shoot through his eyes. “oh, you’re right, babe!” 

he squeezes you into a hug. “i can’t wait to see my pretty baby there while i’m playing.”

“i’ll have to get another job eventually, you know,” you remind him gently. 

“right. right. don’t worry, babe! i’ll help you and-- oh! you know what you should do? you should be on the team!”

you smile, amused by his suggestion. “babe, i don’t know that they’d let me play.”

“you don’t have to play! you could be a manager or something, i don’t know. i’ll make up a position if i have to!”

you laugh and hug him tightly. “you’re silly, babe. i love you.”

“i love you more, my dearest s/o,” he replies before kissing your head. 

you saw nothing but puppy dog looks for the next few weeks when he would try to convince you to come work for the team. you’d had to explain to him that it sounds great but that you should have something of your own to work for. it’s never an easy conversation to have and he’ll pout for a little while but he knows you want him to succeed on his own and he wants that for you as well. 

oikawa

comes home to see you crying

he doesn’t like to see you upset but he loves comforting and coddling you

you try apologizing for crying over something that you could easily replace

he doesn’t mind one bit that you’re crying but they should know that they messed up

you wipe away your tears quickly as you hear the door open and close followed by his voice ringing out through the apartment. 

“helloooo, i’m home!”

you attempted to breathe slower so you could talk to him without hysterically crying. it was hard to keep the tears in as you saw him enter the room, coming closer to where you were seated.

“you’re home early. how’s my sweet s/o doing, hm?” he greets, kissing the top of your head. he notices the redness in your eyes and the tension in your posture. 

“is something wrong, babe?”

you immediately started crying again, hiding your face in his chest as you gripped the back of his shirt. 

“aww, baby. what are these tears for, hm?��� 

you tell him about what happened at work that day. 

“those jerks. i’m so sorry, honey. i hope they regret losing someone great,” he responds, brushing hair away from your tear-streaked face.

“i’m sorry for crying about this. it’s so stupid,” you chuckle, wiping away the last of your tears.

“no. don’t apologize,” he objects. “you weren’t expecting it so it’s okay to feel emotional about it, babe. now we just have to think about how we can make it better.”

he suggests that you go have a hot bath while he starts dinner and you nod in agreement. 

“now, let me have one last hug.” he hugs you extra tight. “hmm yeah. i’m going to get all of the sad out of you.” 

your back suddenly makes a popping noise and he feels you relax a little more in his arms. “did you hear that? i felt it. i bet you feel a little bit better now, huh?” 

wakatoshi

you had just quit your job and didn’t explicitly talk with him about doing it

you were nervous to tell him for some reason despite that he’s never judged you for the past decisions you’ve made

however, he’s not very expressive so the stoic look on his face when you told him got you a little worked up 

he’s anything but disappointed in you 

you felt good leaving your, now old, workplace early after you finally decided to quit. you felt good about it until you were driving home and realized that he would be the first person you were going to tell about it. your nerves started to creep up on you, making the hair on your arms stand on their end. 

you decided to do this randomly and didn’t talk to anyone about your thoughts of quitting. you wanted it to be something that you felt you were making the right decision on and would have no regrets about it. so it didn’t make sense why you were feeling nervous to tell him. 

you opened and closed the door without making your presence. you knew he would hear it. 

“y/n? is that you?”

“yeah. it’s me, ushi,” you confirmed monotonously.

“did you forget something?” he asked, popping his head out from the kitchen area. 

you put your stuff down, shaking your head.

“no. i, um, i just quit,” you revealed, unable to meet his eyes.

“oh,” he replied simply. his habitual stoic expression remained which was putting you on edge. 

“oh?” you repeated. “is that all you have to say?”

“i mean, i didn’t know you were going to do that.”

you lowered your head, suddenly ashamed of your decision. “yeah. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you. i didn’t tell anyone that i was thinking about it if that makes it any better.”

you then felt his hand on your shoulder, squeezing lightly. “it’s okay.”

you wrapped your arms around his waist, looking up to him. “do you think i made a bad choice?”

he rubbed your shoulders gently, trying to relieve the tension. “i think it’s rather spontaneous but i know you meant well.”

you grin up at him, grateful for his undying candor. “thank you, ushi. i love you.” 

“of course, sweetheart,” he replies, hugging you tighter. he then suggests that you try to relax for the rest of the day and try to enjoy your newfound freedom.

kita

after you quit your job out of the blue, you managed to find a small part-time job that was flexible and let you work from home

you didn’t make a lot of money as much as your old job but it was the most ideal for you

however, you were getting burnt out from it and even though you were trying your best to find a full-time job, nothing seemed to change

you seemed very unfocused and distracted to him

“dear,” he calls in an attempt to get your attention. he then puts a hand on your shoulder, shaking lightly. “hey. lovely.”

you jolt slightly and turn to look at him. “oh. yes, shin?” 

he frowned at your forced smile. “are you alright?”

“yeah. why?”

“you just seem very distracted lately. this isn’t the first time i’ve caught you staring at nothing.”

your expression dropped into a frown, nodding at his statement. you didn’t really know how to explain what you were feeling. 

“i don’t know, i guess i’m just..tired,” you began. “i’m frustrated with everything and i’m stuck in this cycle that feels like it’ll never end. i want to do something but every day feels like i’m doing nothing and i hate that.”

he nodded in understanding, wrapping a comforting arm around your shoulders. “i think you’re just restless, sweetie. but you know, it’s okay to not do anything for a while.”

you rubbed your hands over your eyes and forehead. “i know but it’s hard. i just feel kinda useless, i guess.”

“you don’t believe that, though, do you?” 

“i don’t know. maybe,” you reply solemnly.

“well, i’d like to remind you that you’re not. just because you’re not working right now doesn’t mean that you’re productive. you do so much, precious, even when you’re not working. i’m worried that you’ll burn out completely and there won’t be anything left for yourself. let me help you take time to relax so you’re ready for whatever comes along. please, babe.”

he ends his response with a few kisses on your cheek. you’re reminded that you feel so lucky to have such a caring partner. you turn to meet his eyes and nod, smiling softly. 

“good. thank you, cutie.”

he pulls you closer in for a sweet kiss, one that makes you feel loved all over. 

keep pushing on, haikyuu night! request some comfort with your favs..

for more writing and nsfw versions, join me on Patreon!

[snvw]

𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐘. ━━ ❦ caliban, the prince of hell.

𝐀/𝐍— ❦ hi! this is my first caliban imagine in almost over a year n omg it feels so amazin writing for my baby again... hope y’all like this. also, i changed the request just the tiniest bit... there is fluff, but it also got a lil dirty in some parts? sorry, anon! anyways, please reblog, like n share if you enjoyed this lil thing. also, feedback is very much appreciated! thank you for reading.♡

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓— ❦ ANON ASKED; Can I please request a Caliban imagine where the reader (female) is mortal but he’s superrrr whipped for her and calls her “my lady” and keeps saying how much he loves her and is just really sweet to the reader??? Thank you. Xx // also, you may send in a request(s) here.

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘— ❦ caliban, the prince of hell, is totally whipped for his girl, you.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆— ❦ caliban x fem!reader.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒— ❦ 18+! slut shaming! fluff n mentions of sexual themes! adult language! & any grammatical mistakes are my own!

𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵.

♡࿐ Caliban was in love. No, scratch that. He was so fucking in love, it hurt. The whole ‘love’ thing was new to him, like a foreign language one was just beginning to learn. Once he started feeling this strange emotion, it was like he became a whole new person. In his eyes, he saw himself as a better, new and improved version of himself.

Caliban always thought love to be a weakness, that he didn’t need it or that he felt it wasn’t worth his time. But with you, it was different. It felt different. Because of you, he was in love. Happily so, might I add. The two of you have only been dating for a little less than a year, but unholy Satan, it felt like decades had passed. It was like the two of you knew each other for centuries.

In all honesty, Caliban thought he would’ve been alone for all of eternity, which at the time, he was perfectly content with the thought of that. At least, before you – he was used to bringing whores to his bed chambers every night. Whilst he enjoyed himself most of the time, when he grew bored and had no more desire for said whore any longer – he’d either toss them aside, or kill them.

Although, now was different... All because of you. Speaking of you, Caliban had just finished ordering one of his most trusted followers to bring you to his chambers – and shall there be even a single scratch on you, he’d tear them apart limb by limb and watch with glee as their souls burned in the pits of Hell. “My Lord, as you requested, here is Lady –“

“Yes, yes – Beelzebub, you may go. Now.” Caliban commanded carelessly, looking up to see you stepping around Beelzebub cautiously, your eyes lighting up at the sight of him. Caliban smirked, standing up from the leather chair he was resting on, tossing the book he was reading aside and rushing towards you, wrapping you in his strong arms. Beelzebub bowed respectfully, but not before throwing you a disgusted look on his way out, the large wooden doors slamming shut behind him.

“Caliban,” you greeted, your heartbeat starting to race. You felt like a lovesick fool. “I – I can’t believe..why d-did you...?” you stuttered, craning your neck back to look up at the handsome Prince. “I can’t believe you sent one of the Plague Kings to come and get me,” you gasped, sounding like you were trying to keep that information strictly a secret. “You know I’m not supposed to be down here and what if –“

Caliban smiled down at you, quickly silencing your worried ramblings as he bent his knees down slightly to press his lips against yours, both of his hands reaching up to cup your face, your lips meeting in a frenzied, passionate kiss. You practically whimpered into the kiss, parting your lips as you felt your boyfriends tongue run across your bottom lip, knowing what he sought out for. Once your lips parted, Caliban wasted no time in slipping his warm tongue inside of your mouth, tasting you and groaning at how sweet you tasted, both of his thumbs lovingly stroking each of your warmed cheeks as he kissed you senseless.

“I missed you,” Caliban groaned into the kiss roughly, suggestively grinding his hips into your pelvis. You giggled in response, running your tongue along his, your teeth slightly clashing together with his, but neither of you cared enough to stop. You two could never get enough of each other – ever.

Your hands ran up to tangle themselves into his dirty blond hair, digging your fingernails into his scalp, causing him to hiss in pleasure. “I missed you more,” you breathed, before opening your mouth wider for him, feeling Caliban’s tongue run over the roof of your mouth. Next, he started slowly sucking on your tongue, swirling your tongue around with his, almost choking you in the process with how long his tongue was, but you didn’t care. If you had it your way, you’d never stop kissing him. Fuck, he tasted amazing... like spearmint gum and some sort of sugary sweet, he tasted delicious.

Then, Caliban began to run both of his warm hands down your sides, gripping and squeezing and touching and – fuck. He was so amazing and perfect. You loved him so much, he drove you absolutely mental sometimes. His hands were so big and strong and you were so obsessed with them when they were caressing you, you swear the feeling of his skin on yours was pure euphoria.

“My Lady,” Caliban murmured, trailing his lips to the corner of your mouth, then to your cheek, kissing it tenderly. “My Lady, my lady, my lady...” Caliban praised, causing your stomach to erupt in butterflies and your pussy to start gushing uncontrollably, knowing how much it drove you wild when he called you his lady, like you were royalty. Which, in his eyes, you were. You were his, always.

Caliban’s lips moved down to your neck, kissing the skin underneath your ear so gently that it barely felt like he was doing anything, while his hands were now firmly massaging and gripping your ass through your tight jeans. “Caliban,” you sighed, growing frustrated, your pussy now starting to clench down on nothing but thin air. You wanted him, you wanted him so badly you thought you’d snap any second.

It’s been days since he last visited you in your bedroom in the Mortal realm, and he fucked you so good and hard that night that the next day, you could barely walk. That night he was absolutely feral, he wasted no time in fucking your brains out, and you could’ve sworn you felt his cock in your guts as he pounded into you from behind that night. Although, that goes without saying that hours before, he was a complete tease. Eating you out for hours without letting you cum, which made you annoyed and crazy and you really thought you’d start crying hysterically if he didn’t quit his teasing then. Luckily – for the both of you – he did, and he – of course – slowly and sensually slid his cock deep inside of you, before fucking you like a good little slut.

Caliban loved you, there was no denying it. He’d do just about anything for you if you asked him, and he could be so sweet and charming, and most of the time so cruel, just the way you liked him to be. But praise Satan, he knew how to fuck you just right, like when to be soft and gentle and affectionate, with a dark twist of being rough and quick and downright sinful. You swore it was a talent only he possessed, which wouldn’t be a total shock since he did live in and helped rule Hell sometimes.

“My Lady,” Caliban sighed, grabbing your attention as you came back down to – well, Hell – and looked back up at him, snapping out of your sexual daydream. “Hmmm?” you questioned, batting your eyelashes up at the scowling Prince. Fuck, he was so pretty. The Prince of Hell smirked down at you, reaching one hand up to gently grasp your chin with long fingers, holding it as he examined your pretty face up closely and rubbed his calloused thumb over your swollen, bottom lip.

“Was my angel daydreaming again?” he chastised, his tone sickly sweet, as if he were talking to a five year old girl. You were always so fucking cute, playing dumb and naïve, but he knew you knew better. And oh, oh – he was teasing you, the bastard. Two can play that game. As expected though, your plans always seemed to backfire on you as you unconsciously started to rub your clothed thighs together desperately, knowing what was about to come.

Fuck the consequences.

So, you played along, praying that he would have mercy on you tonight. “No, my Lord, I’d never disobey –“ Caliban snorted, cutting you off completely as you amused him at your failure of attempting to lie to him. Him, of all people. Caliban chuckled, shaking his head fondly and kissing your lips once more, making you respond instantly as you stood on the tips of your toes, kissing him back eagerly. Your arms reached up to wrap themselves around his neck once more, pulling him so close that both your chests were pressed so tightly together, your hearts beating against one another’s as one.

Before speaking, Caliban wrapped you tightly in his arms, interlocking his fingers together behind your back, resting his interlocked hands right above your ass. “My Lady, I thought you learned your lesson the other night,” Caliban spoke in false kindness, leaning down to lightly drag his tongue along the shell of your ear. You hummed quietly, tilting your head slightly to give your boyfriend more access, feeling excitement flow throughout your body. Or, were you just a horny little slut, like your boyfriend said you were?

Caliban paused, taking in a short breath, feeling his cock harden almost unbearably at the thought of punishing you again, just like a couple of nights ago. “Bad girls don’t get to cum unless they tell the truth. And you, my lady – have sinned.”

fin

[dragon-kazansky]

Dangerous | Helmut Zemo

AU! Race car driver Zemo 😎

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

I AM ONCE AGAIN SORRY

[Masterlist]

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Part 9

When Zemo got to the bar, there was no one there. He had gone inside looking for you, had asked all the staff when he couldn't see you there. He began to panic when they told him you had left a while ago.

Rushing back outside, he looked left and right rapidly. He saw no one. He got back into his car and drove. He would drive all night if he had to. He just had to find you.

He kept trying to call you, but you wouldn't pick up. At some point you turned your phone off, which just made him worry all the more.

Pietro Maximoff.

He hadn't heard that name in years. What happened back then had always hung over him like a dark cloud, but it had been so long since anyone had ever said that name to him.

He had to explain. You needed to know what happened. If Zemo lost you, what would be the point? How could he race without his lucky charm? He couldn't let this get between you both.

He felt horrible lying to you. There was so much he hadn't told you, but he had never wanted you to find out like this. He should have been honest from the start.

Zemo could only imagine what you were thinking. What must you think of him now?

How long had been driving? He had no idea. He hadn't found you yet. It was becoming harder and harder to keep up his facade. He wanted to yell, scream, punch something.

Everything was falling apart.

The only place he hadn't checked was home. He had no idea how you would have got there, the walk being too far, but it's all he had left.

He makes the drive back.

His grip on the steering wheel was tight. He was full of worry, anger, regret.

He pulls up to the house, but all the lights are off and there is no sign of life. He has the key for the door, there's no way you have got in. He looks down the path to the garage, it looks undisturbed. The garage is locked up tight.

You're not here.

His phone rings.

Zemo scrambles for the device, nearly dropping it from how bad his hands had begun to shake. He looks at the screen, but is left disappointed. It's not you.

James Barnes

He answers it.

"Whatever it is better be important. I have urgent business to attend to." Zemo is surprised by how level he can keep his voice right now.

"I'd say this is important."

"Well, what is it?"

"I bumped into Y/N on my way home. It's only because of Sam I was able to recognize them."

"Where are they?" He asks, almost urgently.

"On the last train home for the night. Zemo, what the Hell happened? They were hysterically upset. I swear I'll kick your ass if you did something stupid."

"It wasn't something I did. Were they alone?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Y/N had gone to meet someone. A wicked young woman who I may run over if I see her," he hisses down the phone.

"I didn't see anyone else."

"I have to go."

Zemo hangs up. He has to go to you, but first, he has to meet with Stark. The only way that nasty little woman could have known about that incident is if Stark had told her.

Tony Stark had been there that day.

Zemo gets into his car and he drives. He drives like a man on a mission. He doesn't care how late it is, Tony Stark will see him tonight.

If Zemo loses you, he will never forgive himself. He will never forgive Tony Stark.

He will never race again.

The lights are on at Stark's homebase. Zemo spends a few minutes parked outside looking at the window. The curtains were drawn, but movement could be seen vaguely behind them.

He gets out and marches up to the door. He knocks harshly.

In the seconds before the opening of the door, many thoughts flashed through Zemo's mind. He had no idea what would happen here tonight, all he did know was that Tony Stark was a cruel man who wanted to ruin everything good in his life.

Zemo had been beyond lucky they even let him race again after what happened.

The door opens. Stark stands there.

The way he looks at Zemo, it pisses him off. He stands with his chin up, head held high, looking down at Zemo. He knows why the Baron is here. He had anticipated his visit.

"What a surprise," Tony says, no emotion to his voice.

"What have you done?'

"What I had to." Tony walks away, leaving the door open. He walks over to his alcohol cabinet and pours himself a drink. Zemo steps inside, glaring daggers at the man. His hands clenched into fists as he grinds his jaw.

"That was six years ago."

"It still happened."

"You know it wasn't my fault."

Tony stands, drink in hand, looking at his rival. Here was a man who had been broken once before, and stands broken again. Stark did you a favour. Zemo wouldn't be here now if you had gone back to him after that, so he can only assume you left.

"You are the reason that kid is dead. Everyone knows it."

Zemo shakes his head.

"You are the reason people see me as a murderer. I did nothing to you. That, out there, is competition. We play the game by the rules and we play fair. At least, we're suppose to. I do not like your dirty tricks, Stark."

Tony doesn't move. He stands there, still.

"I was lucky they even let me race again, but even luckier when Y/N came into my life. You are taking away everything I hold dear, piece by piece. You are ruining me."

"You ruined yourself when you took up racing," Tony says, coldly.

"You just can't let it go, can you? You don't like that I am better than you."

Tony doesn't reply.

Zemo takes slow, careful steps toward Tony. His eyes, glazed with tears, do not look away from his gaze. He only stops when he is directly in front of him.

"If I lose Y/N, you will never hear the end of this. You're cruelty knows no bounds, Stark. I fell so very sorry for Miss Potts. How can she be so fond of a man like you who turns careers and flaunts around with other women. Does your little bird know you are a heartless bastard?"

"You don't scare me, Zemo."

"Not yet, I don't."

Zemo grabs the glass from Stark's hand, throws it at the wall behind him, and then marches away.

He has to see you.

By the time he reaches your town, it's about one on the morning. Though there is the chance you're sleeping, he is here and he will takes his chances.

He knocks on your door.

There are no sounds, no sign of movement, but there is a light which he can see under your door.

You're home.

"Y/N." His accent is heavier than usual, wavered by emotion. He leans up against the door, ear pressed against it.

You're there.

He knows you're there, listening.

"I'm sorry," he says, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about me. Pietro Maximoff died in a terrible accident. His car malfunctioned. It was an accident that turned into a case because someone decided to ruin my career."

He waited, wanted to see if you would say anything.

You didn't.

"I have raced before. I won on my first race. I won again, the second. A racing star, they called me. That was the first time Tony Stark had lost. Suddenly, he had competition. Real competition. Before, he would leave everyone in the dust, winning over and over again. Then I showed up. After my second win, he had my car checked. He was furious because it was legal. He assumed I had altered it against the rules because there was no way his cars would lose. Then that happened."

He hears you move. You're right behind the door.

"Pietro Maximoff was a crazy good driver. Apparently he was awed by me. I told him if he crossed the line that day, I would tutor him. We made a deal. However, his car malfunctioned after the third turn. He drove head first into the barrier, full speed. His car caught fire. He was alone. It took too long for the team to reach him. He died on impact, they say. He was dead whether they got to him or not."

He sighs, hand resting up against the door.

"I did not tamper with his car. I did not kill that boy. Tony Stark made them believe I did with no evidence to prove it. I was found not guilty of attempted murder, but I was disqualified from racing up until I finally made an appeal. This season is my first racing season in 6 years."

He waits.

He hears shuffling, but nothing else.

"You have to believe me. If I lose you too... i have nothing left."

Nothing.

You don't say anything. The door does not open. He steps back in defeat. He doesn't know what else he can do, what else he can say.

Except, "If you still hold feelings for me, then please be at the next race. If you come, I'll know you'll forgive me. I know you'll still love me. If you don't, then I will never bother you again. I'll know that I have ruined everything and I will live with that regret until the day I die."

He takes a deep breath and steps away further.

"I love you. I want you to know that. I love you."

You cry silently as you listen to him walk away. It's not until you're sure he has gone when you let your cries out.

On your coffee table sat your laptop. As soon as you got home, you had been researching what had happened that day.

There was no evidence.

Just articles and speculation.

The fact that you even believed for a moment he had killed a young man like that made you sick. How horrible of a person could you be?

Helmut deserved someone better than that.

He has spent so many years living with a tragic accident over him, and you hadn't even talked to him about it.

You felt awful.

You spent most of the night heartbroken. Sleep eventually paid you a visit, but it was hardly restful. You just woke up in pain.

Race day was coming fast.

What were you going to do?

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @lunamooney2406 @wilder-fangirl @nectav @whovianayesha @thesuitkovian @cathrin2405 @deathtothepatriarchy @belle82devart @dxrksxul06 @killeromanoff @alex-the-nb @latenightartist-author @hb8301 @goddessofmischief03 @xxidontwikeitxx @themeanestlittlewitch @scuttle-buttle @fillechatoyante @lucky-luck-lucky @zemosimp420 @avengersofmischief @breadsquash

[junnieismylove]

MIRRORED

Pairing- Olivia (y/n) x Daniel (Yj)

Genre- fluff, angst

✨✨

The fresh morning breeze went up her nostrils, as she closed her eyes taking in the scent, smiling widely. The gust of wind swept her long brown hair as she slid her slender fingers across her face to remove them and tucked her hair strands behind her ear. Sitting on a bench in the field covered with dandelions that swayed where the wind blew, Olivia would often come here to draw, spilling her troubles and sorrows, worries and tensions on the piece of paper which brought her immense joy. 

She wore a pastel pink floral skirt which stays till her upper thighs and white plain half sleeves crop top. Her eyes surfed through the mesmerizing meadow searching for the perfect scenery that could touch her heart. While  browsing her eyes landed on a particular person. Olivia couldn’t believe herself, she never in her life saw such beauty. She was in complete awe of the said boy who was sitting on the other bench, with his headphones on, his head bobbing with his eyes closed, too deep into the rhythm of the music. For Olivia he was the most handsome and pretty man she has ever seen. 

A lean figure, his plush pink lips, high bridged nose, a jawline so sharp that could make you bleed. Without her knowing her hands worked on their own on her sketchbook capturing his feature, Olivia captured his beauty with her eyes. Her heart skipped a beat when he opened those orbs. She wanted to get lost in those iridescent eyes. Her pencil worked on the details of the boy, but her eyes were fixated on him. The moment froze when their eyes met, sending in a rush of electricity spiraling their senses. Her heart accelerated when she felt the warmth of his smile, it's like a wave of comfort and a feeling of being safe just crashed through her. 

She quickly darted her eyes, breaking the connection that they both just shared, her cheeks flushed with a tint of crimson red. She sheepishly smiled, gathering up all her courage to take one last look. Glancing back hoping to see him again grooving to his music, but to her avail, he is no more there. Olivia frowned in confusion, pondering that just now he was sitting there and the next second he was gone, she found it a little bit weird…

“Maybe he has something important to do”

Shrugging her thoughts off she looks down hoping to see an empty page but gasps in absolute shock seeing the portrait of the boy that was made alluringly perfect  . Questioning if this was her sketch, she giggles not accepting the fact that she can create something so ravishing.

“Guess his charm worked on me” 

Olivia was very altruistic and considerate but she wasn’t easy, she could sense a red flag from a mile ago. She was known to be fearless with an extreme skill set. But behind that mask of toughness, she hid her tears, her heart as fragile as glass that even a slight pinch of needle  could shatter her into million pieces. She wasn’t the one to  cry in front of anyone but the walls of her room resonated with every little sound of her wails while her pillow captured all of  her precious scintillated tears. 

“YO!!!” Olivia jerked from the sudden greeting, putting her hand on his chest breathing heavily. “What the hell is wrong with you Kai!! You startled me”. Kai wheezed “ Man!it’s so easy to scare you!” he says while laughing hysterically. Olivia rolled her eyes slamming  her locker door, surprising the over too joyed boy. Kai's expressions changed completely, he looked at Olivia in horror, noticing her creepy smile that she puts on when she is angry. Mumbling a sorry, Kai free himself from her wrath, getting pretty best friend privilege.   

“Did you make your art for the competition?” Kai asks excitedly, making Olivia nod. “Oh!! What did you make?” His eyes which are filled with curiosity shift towards Olivia. She moves her head side to side signaling him no before saying “it’s a secret!! I'll show you on the big day?” Kai whines, throwing his head back “why???” She smirks as she turns around, now facing Kai  moving backward to the cafeteria teasingly moving her finger side to side gesturing a no.

The chattering of the students could be heard as Kai and Olivia went to sit in the far back of the cafeteria. “So what do you want?” Kai says, grumbling voices coming from his stomach indicating that he was hungry. Olivia sighs, laying her head down on the table, one thought or someone clouding her mind. 

The boy from the dandelions park

Kai frowns as he calls her name many times but she won’t listen, so he shakes her intensely making her come out of her trance. “What was on your mind that you can’t even hear anyone?” ” he asked, puzzled by her shy grin. This is the first time he has seen her smile like that, so he was pretty shocked. “Do you have a CRUSH?” he yells the word “crush” making Olivia widen her eyes, trying to get him to shut his mouth.

“What are you doing? Shh!! Keep it down!! I don’t have any crush or anything!! You know I don't do those kinds of things!!” She was clearly embarrassed when everyone looked at them weirdly. She bows her head apologetically to everyone and shoots a glare at Kai, making her melt in his seat.   

“I am not in a mood to eat right now! You can go take anything!" she retrieves back to laying her head on the table. Kai shrugs his shoulders getting up to get food. Getting comfortable she was about to close her eyes when someone caught her attention. Her eyes looked like it was gonna pop out any second and her jaw was literally on the floor, she pinched herself thinking that it may be some dream or else, but it wasn’t. She was wide awake and the person she had been daydreaming about was right in front of her. 

She was contemplating whether to go say hi or not, cuz her heart couldn’t stop pounding as if wanting to get out of her chest. She gulped coming to a final decision of at least knowing his name. She stands up from her seat, adjusting her clothes, even though she was just wearing a plain black hoodie and a black jeans. Patting her face and tucking her hair back, she started to make her way towards him. 

In between the walk she thought to herself, how much she has changed, she would have never done these things for a boy but something about him just makes her wanna put on some nice clothes and make up  when she knows she won’t do that at any cost. 

Her heart still thumping as she gets closer, her footsteps start becoming heavy, wanting to turn around but there is no going back. She sits on the opposite side of her, he didn’t seem to notice her as he was so engaged with his phone. Olivia inhales a good amount of air and chooses to speak.

“Hi!!” her voice came out ever so sweet that she gagged secretly. The boy looks up at her with the most innocent and pure eyes one can ever have. She swears her expressions that were tense just min ago soften just seeing his face. “Hi!!” He smiles , waving  his hand like a child. She almost died from the cuteness this boy held. His voice was the perfect blend of honey and solace. 

A comfortable science spread in the atmosphere as no one dared to speak, their eyes were looking everywhere but at each other. Before it gets awkwards olivia starts a new conversation. “What is your name?” the said boy looks at her “Daniel!! What's yours?”  she grins “olivia!! Nice to meet you!!” Daniel bows “ nice to meet you too!!” 

“I have never seen you here before!! Are you new?” she bit her lip, showing interest “ yeah!! I shifted a week ago!! And i also remember you from the park” she inaudible gasps, trying to swallow his words but is not able to. “Oh my god!! You do!! Wow mee too!!” They both laughed as their conversation was going pretty well.

Kai gets back with a food tray in his hand ready to share with his bestie but she is nowhere to be seen. He looks around trying to find her and then sees she is on the other table talking with somebody. Kai was lowkey happy and he also felt odd like who is this person that is making her days so much brighter now. But whoever it is, Kai is grateful because it's been long since he had seen her all contended and cheerful. With this thought he goes back to eating his lunch.

Olivia threw herself on her bed, feeling on cloud 9. After so long she has felt like this. Daniel makes her feel so many things, in just one day he gave her so many butterflies, made her feel so special, they talked like they have been talking for ages. It didn’t feel like Olivia was speaking to him for the first time. 

“Is this what falling in love feels like?” 

She questioned herself, going deep into her thoughts. Her eyes get droopy, as they start to close, making her fall into a deep slumber. Days went by as Olivia and Daniel got closer and closer. Her crush gradually became her first love. She always gets this euphoric feeling whenever she is with him. Olivia spends most of her time with daniel. They talk, they go out on multiple dates, they devote their whole time at Olivia's house since she lives alone. It’s like she has gotten attached to Daniel, she can never let him go.

She is in love with him.

Canceling her plans or rejecting anything Kai wants to do with her made him very upset and angry with the person that got her tied with him. Kai was now desperate to know that person and have a word with them. 

Laying on the dandelion field where their eyes collided for the first time, they looked at the bright sky with the sun shining its ray on both of them in a complete stillness. Only  the cloud’s slow movement could be seen and the pleasant wind blowing could be heard. Olivia’s head lays on Daniel's chest with his finger entangled with her hair caressing them tenderly.

She lifts her head to look at the boy who is smiling like an idiot. “You are too unreal” she grins as he chuckles “what? Why do you think that?” she takes in a good amount of breath before speaking “ i mean, you are so perfect, how can a human be so perfect!!” he giggles “maybe i am not one!!” Olivia rolls her eyes playfully. “Yeah right!! But on a serious note you legit made me feel things no one ever has!! And I was dying to feel this way, wanting to be loved and to love, I wanted someone to spoil with my love but I guess here it's the other way around, you spoiled me with yours!!” She giggles like a little girl, but he just stays silent looking at her with all the adoration he has for her.

Olivia gathers up the courage to finally say what is in her heart. She sits, her expressions all serious making Daniel worry. She holds his soft hands into her as she looks deep into a bottomless pit in his eyes. “I want to tell you something” he nods his head signaling her to continue. She closes her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat..

“I love you!!!”

Daniel’s eyes held the world for her but his lips held a pained smile, knowing the reality of life. He wants to reciprocate her feelings but the circumstances were not in his favor. Olivia opens one of her eyes to see his reaction, he was oddly silent making her anxious. Slowly opening her second eye, she starts shaking a little bit, since she has always been afraid to confess to anyone. Rejection might be something she won’t be able to handle.

" I love you too!!” He spoke suddenly but Olivia didn’t hear it, because she was busy overthinking unnecessary scenarios. “I am sorry!! If you don’t like me it's tot- wait what? What did you just say?” She was too stunned to speak, she thought her ears were ringing but they weren’t, she heard all too correctly, he loved her back, she was in denial still she wanted to jump, dance and sing on top of her lungs, but restricted herself. Tears welled up in her eyes, as Daniel's concerned face was visible. 

“Why are you crying?” he asks, his voice softens, she sniffles, quickly hugging him, her hands wrapped around his shoulders, while his hands quickly wrap around her waist. “Thank you for always being there for me!!! For loving me, for never leaving my side”.

‘For never leaving my side’ this line got stuck deep into his heart….

He bit his lips, resisting  himself from crying, as they both sat there relishing each other’s embrace. Daniel breaks the hug, saying the thing that is impossible for him to conquer: “I will always stay with you no matter what!!” sliding his thumb over her cheeks to clean her tears, he leans in to give a sweet little kiss on her lips. They want to say so many things to each other, but some words are meant to be left unsaid. She keeps her head on his shoulder as they peacefully weave their future together which ceases to exist.

" promise me forever?" She took out her pinky finger, giving him puppy eyes. Daniel gulped and felt a sting in his heart, with hesitation he took out his pinky finger and linked it with hers. "I promise you-"

Forever… always remember even if I am not here I will be with you in  HERE always!!!” 

Taking his index finger and motioning it to her heart….

Olivia’s happiness was on top of the world without knowing that her world was about to crumble down..

Happily skipping the hallway, she makes her way to the cafeteria only to be stopped by her best friend that she has been ignoring. “You look happy!!” he says standing on the cafeteria entry point with his hands crossed keeping his poker face. She smiles “yes i do!!” he nods “care to explain why?”. Olivia remembers that she forgot to tell her best friend about her boyfriend, she was so engrossed in Daniel that she did not realize that she had been ignoring her own childhood best friend.

“I am so sorry!! I forgot to tell you!! I have a boyfriend!!” Kai's eyes widened, all of his anger turned into contentment as he used to think that she doesn’t have the ability to make boyfriends. “REALLY!! WHO?” he again yelled making her embarrassed but this time she was not mad “ssh!! I'll tell you everything!! Lower your volume down!! Geez!!!”. Kai excitedly nods his head as they go to the far back table to sit.

“So his name is daniel!!and-”she told him everything from when they met to her confession. Some words that she said felt weird to kai, like how she just told him that she used to sit with him in the cafeteria all the time but he never saw anybody with her, not at school at least.  “Where do you guys sit?” he asked “over there! He might be sitting-” she looks over to the empty table that is lying on the other end of the cafeteria, Olivia's smile drops and she suddenly gets an uncomfortable vibe, her intuition telling her something word is coming “Maybe he didn’t come today!!” she assured herself but on the other hand Kai knew something was up with her because whenever she sits there, 

She always sits alone…

He never paid attention to her, always thinking that she might be on the phone with someone. But now that he thinks about it, isn’t it weird to always be in the same place and in the same location. “Well i wanna see how handsome this man is” she smiles widely ready to take out her phone but stops midway. “Oh yeah!! He doesn’t like taking pictures!! So we don’t have any!! But he is absolutely ethereal. ``Kai furrowed his eyebrows together, finding it extremely weird, ‘there is not even a one pic of them together, that's impossible’ . His mind was foggy with just confusion. “Well do you have anything that can give me an idea how he looks!!” she ruminates for a  minute “yess!! I have his sketch I made the first day I saw him!! It’s actually an art competition too!!” she says elevated. “Ok, show me that!!” “sure”

They both enter Olivia's room as she looks for her sketchbook, finally finding it she turns the page till she comes across his sketch. She hands it over to Kai, who’s full concentration is on the sketch. “He is very handsome!! It's weird how he doesn’t want his pictures to be clicked” he says clearly puzzled “i know right!!`` Olivia stood there grinning crazily, completely oblivious to reality.

Suddenly something strikes Kai, the sketch is strangely familiar to him, it's like he has seen this boy before but where?. “He seems familiar tho” olivia frowns in confusion “where did you see him”.

“I don’t quite remember but I surely did, '' he says, still thinking as to where he could have seen him. Olivia shrugs her shoulder “well maybe you saw someone who looks similar to him” he sighs, his memory working clearly, the deeper he thinks the more it clears out but heis not sure if what he is thinking is correct  or not. 

“Maybe”

Next day Kai runs to Olivia who is sitting there saddened, because it's been 3 days since she didn’t see or hear anything from Daniel, from the day she confessed he seems to be missing. These were restless and sleepless nights for her as she cried for him. But didn’t let anyone even know what she is going through. She looks towards her right to see Kai running towards her coming to a halt, keeping his hands to her knees breathing heavily.

“I need to tell you something important!!” She didn’t say anything and nodded. “So the picture you showed me, I remember where it’s from and why it felt so familiar!! Remember we went to an art museum 3 years ago?” she nods still connecting the dots. “There is an exact artwork of the boy you made!! And if you want proof I can take you to that museum” still not knowing what he is trying to say “what are you trying to say?” he sits on the bench holding her hand “what i'll say next!! I don’t know if it's true or not and by any means I am not trying to hurt but telling you the reality and I am sorry for that  but I think you may be hallucinating him!” she quickly retreats  her hand away from him, looking extremely angry. 

“What rubbish ? Why would I hallucinate someone?” she jerks her hands away from kai. She is now totally paranoid. “Look you are getting it, you told me that you used to sit with him in the cafeteria, but trust me you always used to sit alone, how such a handsome boy wouldn’t want his pictures to be taken, how in the world you don’t have his phone number, Why doesn’t he talk to anyone at school? All these things are weird aren't they?” Olivia was now beyond scared because whatever he said was true except for the cafeteria one.

Not wanting to believe all of this, she stands up ready to leave but kai holds her wrist. “Let go of me,” she says, blinking her tears away. Kai’s face softens “please listen to me and do the things i say and if i am proven wrong, you have all the right to stop talking to me” she turns her body towards him looking him in his eye.

“Only one chance” 

He nods.

Her footsteps feel heavy as she drags them alongside kai. Making their way to the said painting. She bit her lips feeling extremely anxious as they got closer and closer. “Look” she closes her eyes not wanting to look but has no choice, she slowly lifts up her head to see the painting, she is frozen on the spot, not able to move or speak or show emotions, she becomes pale as if she saw a ghost. The man in the painting looks exactly like daniel. Those lips, nose and those pearly chocolate brown eyes, everything is the same.

She shakes her head as no, her steps one by one taking a step backward. “This must be a coincidence!” She speaks under her breath, but Kai hears it. “You still don't believe it!!” He was now extremely worried about her mental health. Olivia was already going through depression of losing her family to a fatal car accident, then her aunt took her in her custody but she would treat her like an outcast, and in school too, she keeps a low profile just because of how she is scared to get emotionally attached to someone, thinking they will too leave her. 

Kai is the only one she’s close to because they are friends even before her parent’s death. He was there with her when her parents died. Kai never wanted to see her cry, so he made it his mission to never bring tears to her eyes. Her condition day by day got worse as her aunt would treat her really badly, so decided to move out. She was deprived of love. She wanted someone with whom she could share the mildest things,  who can make her laugh and make her feel special. Kai can’t do that because she thinks  one day he will also leave her. 

She runs out of the museum, not being able to take in everything, her head hurts, she doesn’t understand anything. She wants more proof. This can just be coincidence, her mind stopped working, all that could be heard was her heart beating rapidly. Kai reaches out for her but she jerks his hand away.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!! YOU ARE JEALOUS OF ME AND DANIEL!! THAT’S WHY YOU ARE DOING THIS RIGHT?” Kai had enough, his blood was boiling, he couldn't keep his best friend in the dark, he calmed himself, not wanting to make the situation worse by yelling at her. “Do you really think I am jealous?” she looks towards him, seeing her bloodshot eyes, kai couldn't help himself, letting his tears slide down his cheeks.

“Livie!! Understand what I am trying to say!!! I am not saying that he is not real, he will always be with you just not physically!! You want more proof right? ok!! What is the last place you guys went!!” She knit her eyebrows together trying to see to what extent his lies can go. He gestures to her to speak up.

“The new cafe that has recently been opened”

Upon reaching the cafe, the pace of her steps gradually slows down,  her head starts feeling dizzy, she doesn’t feel like going inside but Kai insists her, knowing that what he is doing is going to hurt way more than anything else. Her eyes were swollen telling exactly that she had been up all night crying, his words overwhelmed her too much.

The wind chime of the cafe clanged as they opened the door, stepping inside. Mustering up all her courage, she goes to the counter. She heaves a sigh of relief, seeing the women who were here to take their order.

“Hi!!” she sheepishly smiles. “Oh hi!! What can I get for you!!” the lady grains ready to take her order. “Oh I am not here to order something, I just wanna ask if you remember me from the day before yesterday!” the cafe lady thinks for a minute puckering her lips, her expression saying that she is trying to remember something. “Oh yeah!! Well I usually don’t remember people but today is your lucky day! Is there something I can help you with?”. Olivia inhales and exhales as she nods preparing herself for what’s about to come next.

“So, I came here with a friend too. Do you remember him?” Olivia was hoping to get a yes but “I know I don't remember things but I certainly remember there was no one with you that day.” She froze, everything in her stopped, she couldn’t comprehend what she heard. She felt numb, her body completely stiff.  After a few seconds, she released a prolonged breath which she didn’t even know she held. When the realization hit, it hit HARD. Her lips start quivering, tears start sliding down her cheeks, as her breathing becomes ragged. “You are lying!! YOU ARE LYING!!! This can’t be!!” With that being said she sprints out of the cafe leaving the women petrified.

Apologetically bowing to the lady he goes out of the shops only to find that Olivia was gone. She brushes his hair back with his hand getting tense. He searches the whole area but she is nowhere to be seen. Then it hits him..

The field of dandelions..

Olivia was sitting on the bench where she saw daniel. All of her vivid memories of Daniel come flashing in front of her eyes. The way he smiled so warmly at her the first time, that melted her heart right away. And then accidently meeting him in the school, their first date and so much more that she could never forget.She caresses the bench, her tears uncontrollably falling on it, her cheeks stained , her eyes going numb. But no emotion could be seen on her face. She was angry and upset. Her heart was completely  crushed into pieces that will take infinite time to collect and piece together. 

He left me… HE FUCKING LEFT ME..

It took years for her to build her own wall and let someone step in it but it took a second for it to come crashing down. She feels his presence, that he is somewhere near but he is not, it's in her head. She stands on the place where she made her first confession to the love of her life. She tries to keep her calm but the minute she reaches it. all of the reminiscences starts clouding her thought breaking her down, she falls onto her knees, her tears uncontrollably falling. 

He is not there to catch them…

She felt splinters stab in her heart brutally slow multiple times. Her nose was running and face became totally red from crying. She holds some of the dandelions in her hand, crushing them right away. She screamed on top of her lungs..

“WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!! I THOUGHT YOU PROMISED FOREVER!! WHO IS GONNA CARRY ON THAT PROMISE, YOU REALLY TURNED THE PROMISE OF FOREVER INTO NEVER!! WHY MAKE PROMISES WHEN YOU CAN’T FULFILL THEM!! DON’T DO THIS TO ME, YOU LITERALLY BECAME THE SOURCE OF MY LIFE….THAT’S WHY I WAS AFRAID TO GET CLOSE TO ANYONE, EVERYBODY LEGIT EVERYBODY LEAVES ME, NOBODY STAYS!!!”

Nobody…

“Why god why me?? What have I done to you? I didn’t know my fate was so fucked up, the only boy I ever loved turned out to be just a character of my mind” Olivia started laughing maniacally, but then her laughs turned into her wails as she couldn’t stop bawling her eyes out!!  She was feeling completely empty, her eyes were feeling heavy, she was struggling to keep it open, they were blurred by the amount of tears she had. Suddenly, his words hit her…

“Remember even if I am not here!!! I will always be with you in your heart!”

She screamed and cried into the abyss, they echoed but no one was there to hear her. Even though the sun was shining,she could feel the darkness engulfing her. She lifted up her hand and put it on her heart, Closing her eyes, trying to feel his warmth again…but she couldn’t all she could sense or feel there was a..

A meaningless void..

She lays in the field covered with dandelions for a few minutes, her tears falling onto her side. Smiling, she could see the visions of both of them having fun at the cafe, in Olivia's home and in this very park, his laughs, his voice, everything. Her eyelids heavy with all the haziness from crying

“If this seems to be the reality i don’t never wanna open my eyes, death is far better than to live in a world with no one to hold on, nobody to walk with, no shoulder to cry on, no jokes to laugh with, no person to care for and no one to love me!!”

The wind swiftly blows her hair, ready to give up on her when she hears a voice. She opens her eyes, looking around for the source of the sound but nothing. She goes back to her previous position, when she again hears the voice but this time she lets the voice envelop her..

“Baby!! I am so sorry!!! I know i promised you that i'll always be yours till the end of time and trust me i will be, it's just not physically, whenever you want to think about me or hear my voice just put your hand on your heart and close your eyes feeling my presence,i'll be there  i promise this!! I have and will always love you no matter what?” 

Her lips shivered as she clutched her hand into her chest, shedding tears and sobbing loudly. She felt immense pain with each and every word that he spoke. She laid there numb, Wanting to feel his touch, hugs and kisses but couldn't. Olivia was scared how she was gonna survive without Daniel but she somehow had to!! 

“Even if you are not here!! I'll always love you too daniel!!”

What she didn’t know was that someone was watching her go through all of this. Kai stood there seeing her breaking right in front of him, shattering his heart, he was blaming himself that he was not able to do anything. sniffling, his tears slid down his cheeks, he turned around not bearing to see his best friend in this condition. “ I am sorry I am not there to console you but I promise that from now I will never let anything harm or hurt you. EVER”

After a few days, Kai took her to a therapist, he told them that because of her traumatic event and the abuse she had to go through, with her already diagnosed depression, and her want for love, led her to her hallucination. He diagnosed her with schizophrenia. That painting they both saw, stayed in her unconscious mind, and when her condition only got worse. Her unconscious mind gave life to the picture that stayed with her till now.

Olivia was given medication, whenever she wanted to hear his voice and feel his presence, she would always keep her hand on her heart and close her eyes, she didn’t want to heal, cuz that means he would fade away too. But as the medication started working, his voice turned into mumbles to barely any sounds and then at the end it stopped, Olivia had to  accept the fact that one day she had to give up on him.

And eventually she did..

In her art competition, Olivia displayed  the sketch  of Daniel that she made when for the first time her eyes locked with his. She smiles at her artwork that was beautifully put up in the exhibition. It was a masterpiece indeed, and for that Olivia won the competition. 

“So would you like to talk about your art!!! It’s magnificent, this boy seems close to your heart!!” the host of the show said, making oliva’s face twinkle. She came on the stage, with letting out a heave of sigh she started..

 “so, the boy that i made is indeed very close to my heart, the first time i saw him i remember how unknowingly my hands started to draw on its own, guess even my sketchbook knows that he was such a work of art, cuz god has favorites clearly and it was like a fairytale, a beautiful maiden meeting a charming prince, that kind of moment, and he was indeed very charming too. He made me feel special, I was craving for love and he fulfilled all my cravings. On my saddest days he would become my ray of hope!! Never leaving my side!!! If I get a chance to say thank you again, I won't miss it for the world!!!” she went silent for a minute, keeping her calm, blinking her upcoming tears away. “So where is he now?” 

she looks towards the host, giving him a broken smile “In HERE!!” she motions her index fingers, bringing it to her heart, smiling before lowering her head and closing her eyes, ruminating the very exact moment he said and did the same thing..

“Always!”

“Sometimes people that are fragments of the unconscious mind become your loved ones more than the real people that exist in this world. That’s what he was a piece of my mind, that showed me what love actually feels like…”