#vent in the tags beware

[thebearme]

I got mad so I projected on to Mike

I FUCKING HATE SCAMMERS

[moob-knight]

my dream summer internship turned down the best cover letter I've ever written. boys? it's time to bring out the hlvrai.

[zebedeezing]

ExMollytary

[im-traumatised]

Teenage me is so loud these days. A voice in the back of my head that doesn't stop screaming to be heard. I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you wanted to become.

[chlopieno]

Guys should i cry over my relationship breaking into fucking pieces or do i say good riddance and meow on

[thetimecrystal]

sometimes i wonder why i study

[midnightbears]

✿ duskbound, afterlight.

#STARRING: cybertronian fem reader & other characters.

#TAGS: trauma. talks of character death. hopelessness? mentions of prostitution. no appearance of canon characters because this is an intro. hunger games reference!

#NOTES: hi! still alive, just not writing for kny atm because my head is like a powerpoint presentation with all my hyperfixations and i can't write for requests when it is on another slide. hope that makes sense. this is the first chapter of my megatron x reader, a strangers to lovers to enemies featuring pre-war cybertron, a magnanimous amount of lore, a lot of non-cannon stuff like sparklings and stuff because i can do whatever i want, and my flickering motivation to finish it. i don't have a specific transformers i'm basing the timeline off, so we will see. i thought of publishing it on ao3 or smth but i have better judgement so i just figured i would upload the first chapter on tumblr. the new transformers movie was soooo good and it inadvertently rekindled my transformers obsession. enjoy? let me know if you like it, i would appreciate it if you have questions or anything :) THIS BITCH IS LONG SO BEWARE

part two | part three | part four | part five | part six

"Y/N, my optics hurt."

"I know, sweetspark, I know."

This place reeked. Pure flowing smoke and vapor, stinking energon, and the smell of the gray coal and ash that powdered the laborers' and miners' bodies like scintillating glitter filled the pavements of that day—such fragrant poetry. 

The barely perceivable light that shone down could not even be called proper illumination in the first place. Every once in a while, the wells of your optics danced up to gaze toward where the sweltering sunlight was supposed to be.

Still, your spark did nothing but wail at you when, each time, all that you caught were mountains upon mountains of pitch-dark vapor, dull particles of dust from the mines, and the visualization of the austere whispers of despair and anguish among the workers of one of the mining towns from one of Cybertron's Primus-forsaken satellites, Nuna 5PY.

Even if you turned to look towards the downtown streets, the particles infiltrated your vents and blistered your optics.

Some workers used gas masks, while others retreated to the mines, where the synthetic stench wasn't as foul, but most were forced to return to work. They snatched up energon everywhere they could, recharged in fits and starts among their screaming. You seriously needed to leave.

As Vaportrail coughed onto the city street, you held her small servo. Even with the torrential acid pouring last night, the smog got to her well before the rush hour. 

You realized things would not improve today, so you hurried in fear of the younger developing tear-streaked optics and a headache to match. It saddened you that Vaportrail would never know what a normal life would be like. It was as though they had collectively given up years before she was born, which was unjust to her and all the future sparklings. 

You grabbed her and pulled her into the cart. Traveling was enjoyable, but not at the price of introducing additional hazardous particles into the environment. 

Mining Outpost R–02 was one of the towns from Nuna 5PY, where unnamed members of the lower classes labored interminably, tediously. The gloomy, smoky shambles of a metropolis required the Communication Grid to communicate with other areas and locations simply. It was no place for a sparkling. 

The infant cybertronian lay quietly on the sulfurous mine carriage attached to the railway, more vulnerable than the glass that was painstakingly constructed for the masses of the High-caste buildings and just as giddily colored.

You wondered if her peds are dirty; how would you know? You pondered what she ate back when Starlight was still living in this downtown slum; where did her mother get energon to nourish her? 

Your servos were callous from several scars and defects, and a part of you ached to sweep her up in her arms and shelter her eternally. But. How could you ever live with yourself if you didn't allow such an innocent being to live a tranquil life?

"I'm sorry about your carrier," You told the sparkling wistfully, making sure she was comfortable for the long ride from here to where your late best friend wanted her youngling to go if something ever happened to her. You gave her a small pad which contained personal information like her name and situation, along with a plead for somebot to take her to safety, "Cybertropolis is a nice place, just make sure you reach the police station safely, they'll know where to take you." 

"Thank you," Vaportrail squeaked out, her knees pulled up to her chest plate. 

The train inevitably started, and you walked in tandem with the slow speed of the carriage just to get a good, final look at the sparkling's dainty, cheerless face. Vaportrail would surely be a problem when she got older because all of the mechs would swoon over her—deservingly so.

With those optics and a grin as charming and gauzy as that, she was the very picture of the youthful beauty who had once bored the name of Starlight. You believed she was the sweetest femmeling on the planet.

"I love you, okay? And I'm sure your carrier is so proud of you. Good luck!"

Eventually, you had to withdraw from the train, which only allowed you to stare at the vanishing small frame of a waving Vaportrail, whose response had been forever lost in the sad, sepulchral winds of the town. 

Despite that, you could still stare at the sparkling's naive, callow features and find colossal gratitude and admiration in its place, which made a lump form in your voicebox and squeezing palpation beat inside your spark chamber.

With Vaportrail gone, the smell of blazing smoke burned your olfactory sensors and induced you to cover them with your suitable servo. You had never before realized that the shrilling blare of the injectors, the drills, the massive excavators, and the wheels of the trucks could be so overwhelmingly loud, either. From the corner of your optics, the flashes and instants of the sparks that aimlessly flew around whenever metal met metal brought you out of your bewildered daydream. 

But then you turned and saw the portrait of shattered ambition, lost hope, undetermined origins, opaque bitterness, damaged honor, futile dreams, and wavering will that assembled the cybertronians of Nuna 5PY.

It was a blow to the back of your head.

Starlight was dead.

If you closed your optics, you could still see the glow on her metallurgical protoform, the spark that no longer burned, and the sound of her laughter that still reverberated in your audio receptors and processor.

Oh, you missed her desperately. 

She'd spent her days as a young and daring cybertronian who didn't let the vacillating shame of her prostitution career ridicule her or anything she was. A good, pleasant, and kind femme that thrived and existed, only for some mech to tear her from her home and forever close her laughing optics. She was a femme, a friend, a sister, and a carrier.

She was someone.

"Oi, femme!"

You knew that whoever was calling that word in such a degrading manner was referring to you and you only. You were aware that you were one of the few femmes working on that hellhole.

Sourly, you turned your helm to the source of the voicebox and found your boss—if he could even be called that—staring at you rigorously from across the street. Other mechs were beside him, and in their hungry optics, you could see hunger, amusement, a blatant lack of respect, and other things—all of it for you.

"You said five minutes. Start moving your aft before I tell someone to move it for you."

The group of despicable mechs started laughing at the humorous, unique, spectacular, utterly not-ever-done-before knee-slapper comment. You wondered what comedians told to get a chuckle or two out of their audience nowadays. 

You detested yourself when you started walking back to the mines with crystal-clear coolant forming in your optics and with the words caught inside your voicebox.

Even the clicking of your battered timer had a languid touch in the fading light of their (your) chamber as if it were a spark-beat at rest. The perpetual rhythm of it became more of a white noise inside the transparent yet spurious safety surrounding your beguiling, chimerical space bubble. 

The memory of the lingering perfume of Starlight's aromatic utensils saturated you far more intensely than it did only days before, making you want to pound and bang your head against the wall until you ran out of energon inside your body.

Your spark chamber was wrenched apart in the core by a hollow cavity. It had been there for forty-eight groons. Faithless and cynical, the pit that took form inside of you pulled you to the very depths of your revolted mind.

You were immobile, your bare servos lying at your sides and your digits tinkering with the berth. Everything within the room drove you crazy and made you want to tear out your optics under the scrutinizing, deep-rooted omnipresence of both the carrier and the sparkling.

Vaportrail was not napping on her carrier's bed; her small chest plating was not rising and falling according to her mellow, smooth breathing. You remembered how she would spring from Starlight's berth just to greet you after every single burdensome solar cycle of nothing but suffering under the cruel comments and sometimes spiteful actions of mechs and their superiors. 

You knew and understood that she left for a better life in Cybertropolis, yet you just can't comprehend why you are not hearing her dulcet giggles and her voice as soft as a feather.

"Y/N, look at me!"

You turned your helm lightly toward the soft-spoken sparkling from your spot on your berth. 

One of your stabilizers was crossed over the other, your servos snuggly behind your helm. Due to your horizontal position, you were seeing Vaportrail in a somewhat awkward manner, whispering something to her carrier excitedly, which made you turn your whole frame so you were resting against your side, lifting your helm with your right servo.

"What is it, V?"

Vaportrail, who had her mother's laughing optics, stood proudly atop Starlight's berth beside her laying figure, servos on her hips and grin on her dermas, meekly waiting for you to look at her so she could show her spectacular stunt.

She was no bigger than a mining pickaxe, which is why she was never let out of Starlight's and your’s shared chamber. She was still tiny, even for a youngling her age, but that was not unusual, as the impoverished environment and the mediocre energon didn't do much to help anyway. Primus knows what could happen to someone so small and so weak.

Her confident, puffed-up stand made you laugh casually, as while typically Vaportrail was a modest sparkling, never one to demand attention or directly ask for what she wanted, whenever she got like this and let out her inner childishness for the silliest of things, both you and Starlight would get tons of laughter out of it.

"Go on! Show Y/N what you've been practicing," Starlight encouraged.

When you nodded at Vaportrail, signaling that your attention was entirely on her, her optics lit up. She walked towards the end of her carrier's berth, planting her peds at the very ends before turning around. 

Vaportrail crouched, and with a slight push from her servos and an impulse from her peds, she successfully rolled forward in the berth, landing on her bottom before scrambling to get up and putting her servos up in the air, muttering a small 'Ta-da!'

You had smiled warmly, watching Vaportrail giggle to herself giddily. Starlight clapped for her and swarmed her in a big hug, proud of her sparkling and happy that she had gotten her little trick right. Honestly, you were a bit jealous. You wished you could be this happy by doing something as simple as a gymnastic maneuver.

Vaportrail cheered along with her carrier, excitedly thumping her peds against the surface of the berth. Then she turned to look at you, her optics gleaming with happiness. "I did it! I did a forward roll!"

"Oh, did you?" After your rhetorical question, you languidly returned to your original position, lying with your back plates on the berth and your servos behind your helm. You cheekily turned to Vaportrail and Starlight, a sly, good-natured smile pulling at your dermas; you closed your optics. "I wasn't looking."

"Y/N!"

Both femmes happily laughed at the moping undertones of Vaportrail's voice.

"Just kidding!"

That day was a long time ago, at least it seemed to be; it felt like it. Those words were spoken in the same chamber you slept and resided in. That comical stunt was performed in the berth across from yours. They were not here anymore. Even if you wished they were back together, that deceitful dream would only be achieved by death.

No one can pursue their dreams or be free enough without it. Freedom is for the rich because dreaming costs money.

Starlight wasn't there to hold her youngling and hug you when you needed it. You weren't hearing her voice either, singing lullabies to help you both fall into a much-needed recharge. Her presence was so needed, so sought; in places like this, femmes like her were what one needed to forget about the harsh burden that was the act of being alive. To think that only forty-eight groons before she was still living, she was still here. 

Her memory made you miserable because best friends comprehend you like no other. Starlight was overly protective and brutally honest—as if she ever needed that. You felt so enraged and resentful at not being there to protect her that you feared you might break. 

Although you dug Starlight's grave, blatantly refusing to let the body of your best friend turn into waste parts or scrap metal, a part of you still suppressed the image. One day, you would properly weep for her, but first, you had to accept that she was truly gone. A part of you would never be able to accept that Starlight would never appear, skipping around a corner to tease you for falling for her clever joke.

‘How can she be dead?’

Harsh knocks against your metal door made you jerk from your position on the berth.

"08, are you in there?!" 

The boisterous tone of the mech standing behind your door made you remember that you were still real and breathing inside your crude, undeserving, unworthy existence. Your bubble-turned crystal cocoon inevitably started collapsing at the reminder that life could still go on without Starlight because, after all, no cybertronian knew who Starlight is—was. No cybertronian knew who Starlight was. The world moved on without her.

Without thinking much, you got up from the cold berth, chills flourishing in your metallurgic skin before walking the small distance towards the oxidized door and swinging it open. You would not have considered the thought of opening (being too engrossed in your self-pity and wallowing in grief, you know?) in the first place was it not for the genuine undertones of chipper motivation that were painted over H–01's usually harsh, asperous voice. 

Wait, why was he at your door anyway?

His hulking, rusted frame was as corroded as ever, and it was honestly a little sickening to look at. Despite the awful veil of dust and ash that littered him, the grayish, crimson, and dull turquoise glares of his deteriorated paint job could still be peeked at; his wheels were decaying, and his melancholic optics had lost their love for life— as had everybot else's.

Ancient as a cosmic star and twice as intelligent, with his towering structure and terse personality, H–01 was by far one of the town's most elderly seniors—and, may you add, one of the most cordial. 

You remembered the day you first arrived here, back when you were still an inexperienced femme in life, gullible, back when you dreamed dreams. 

After an accident in your old work establishment,—one of the mech coworkers had stepped over the line with you, resulting in a mining pickaxe protruding from his knee plate and a lot of energon spilled around— you had been sent to Mining Outpost R–02, and H–01 quickly took it upon himself to become a mentor of some sort as you shared letter unit. 

You recalled that he laughed as he had never before when you told him the story of why they had banned you from your previous workplace. Later, you met Starli—

"08?"

You blinked owlishly, and realizing that he was calling out to you, you grounded yourself and met his preoccupied gaze.

"What did you need?"

He frowned at your mediocre attempt at lying. H–01 was by no means stupid, and sadly, you didn’t give enough credit and didn't acknowledge how easily he could pick apart your facade, layer by layer, until your shell was utterly ripped apart.

"Kid, I may be rusty, but I'm shrewd enough to know that you're not well." You became conscious of how absurd you must have seemed in his words. He continued. "I'm sorry about your friend and her sparkling."

There it was again, that funny feeling, that blow to the back of your head. You felt your spark wail painfully, and your limbs tensed up, your optics frantically searching into H–01's face plates for any sign of mockery. You found none. You almost crumbled at his sincere words until your response was unwillingly driven back to your tanks when the piercing siren started blasting across the halls of the chambers.

Instinctively, you covered your audio receptors at the discomfort. At the same time, H–01 merely stared into the speaker device right up against the wall, a bit far away from them. From the corner of his optics, he saw many of the workers exiting their chambers, each of them confused, some of them covering their audial receptors as well, and others staring, irritated and visibly vexed at the gadget that was currently stripping them of their much-needed recharging hours.

The workers of the 8th unit, otherwise known as the H unit, approached the oldest mech from their division, questioning themselves about what was going on. Their optics wilted, and there was a slight lolling to their helms, drunk with weariness after a session of an endless cycle of mining.

"01, what's going on?" One of them asked rather loudly, trying to shout over the siren, coming up to them just as you got used to the loud siren and pulled your servos away from your audial receptors. 

You moved out of the entrance of your chamber to shut the door behind you, joining H–01 by standing beside him. They shared a brief glance, one filled with puzzlement, the other brimming with uncertainty. But before anyone could share their answer or even make a single move, the horrendous blaring of the alarm stopped. 

The speaker against the wall went completely silent, and a single red light started beeping. The Cybertronians looked at each other, baffled.

Someone talked via the speaker.

:: Attention, all workers. You are summoned to the patio at this instant. Once you reach the area, stand in your respective branch line and don't question your current predicament; ignoring this order will result in immediate offlining. I repeat: ignoring this order will result in immediate offlining ::

I need to leave. I need to leave. I need to leave. I need to leave.

That was what you were thinking when you, H–01, and the others walked among the congregation of cybertronians—you would have said mechs were it not for the few femme 'nurses' among the outer lines of the crowds, who as far as you were concerned, were the ones who took care of the workers who suffered minor accidents like infected optics, fractured limbs or something along those lines. 

It was not like they counted anyway. Primus knew what they were actually in this town for and what they did to survive.

The patio, used for Cybertronians during their spare time, was circular, wide of range, and littered with damaged devices and compartment containers, a whole mess of passed-down gear and materials. 

Whenever they got their energon rations and stopped here to rest, H–01 would remark that only the fuel granted to them wasn't recycled—well, that and the smoke. The patio boulders formed a patchwork, with stones obtained as useless scraps and waste from renovations resting together as lovely as crystalline statues from the High-caste buildings. It had artistry to it, as well as smoothness. You and H–01 used to sit there together.

You saw the executives of Mining Outpost R–02, violently shove some of the workers towards their specific department, yelling something at them that you couldn't quite catch. Considering the calm and easy-going attitude of the mistreated miners, you could just tell that they were the prissy, fastidious mechs of the upper divisions, maybe the 1st or the 2nd, where they didn't get punished for slacking off or harassing other workers along with the bosses just for the fun of it.

Your unit quickly got on its respective branches and neatly stood in line. You all exchanged terse nods, mentally preparing yourselves for whatever was about to happen. 

In front of you and the rest of your division were the mechs of the 7th unit, and behind them were the workers of the 9th, and so on. Judging by the others' facial expressions, they, too had no idea of why they'd been called here nor could muster up a word, which only fueled your desire to learn what was going on. The patio got tighter, more claustrophobic as cybertronians arrived.

You were the last number in your unit, meaning that you were placed in the furthest spot from your old friend. You lightly reclined your helm backward to attempt and catch a glimpse of H–01, but to no success, as you saw him and all the other mechs, for that matter, focused on the temporary stage ahead of them. 

It held a podium, a small staircase, and fifteen glass balls with electronic chips on them. One for each unit of the Mining Outpost. A chill went down your spinal plate at the thought.

An overwhelming, ominous silence suddenly governed the patio when a mech no one working here had ever seen before climbed up the staircase. The way he moved caused cybertronians to stare at him in fear. 

The mech was brawny and towering, and the way his helm fell over his lifeless, devoid optics and left shadows smeared on his cheek plates made others shudder. He was directly in front of the plain, pitiful microphone stand. However, an almost charming smile crossed his dermas.

"I suppose you're asking yourselves why were you brought in here."

Because of the microphone, his voice, profound and with a baritone tone, boomed across the patio, making you wince lightly at its loudness. You, of course, were desensitized from loud noises due to the continuous straining sounds of the mining machines around you day after day, as everyone else was. However, his statement caused many cybertronians to look among themselves, clearly disturbed.

"Gentlemechs, my name is Bullway, and I've come all the way here from Kaon to offer you a choice. I intend to give fifteen of you the chance of coming to Kaon with me and becoming gladiators."

Hushed whispers and inaudible sentences started falling from everyone's dermas at Bullway's words and what they implied. From the corner of your optics, you saw most of the mechs look at each other in mute amazement at what they had just been offered.

Their superiors, who were at the base of the set-up podium, quickly took it upon themselves to silence everyone with a loud yell, the absence of sound appearing once again.

"Think about it! Money, power, glory, fame, all laid at your digitprints!" Bullway threw his arms out to emphasize his words. "Join me, and all you have ever dreamed of will come true. A life of nothing but recognition! Isn't that what you deserve?! Isn't that what you dream of as you stare at the ceilings of your measly stations?!"

Dreaming cost money. Dreaming cost money. Dreaming cost money.

Almost as if he had read your mind, H–01 subtly leaned his helm forward to take a peek at the workers of the section he conducted. Most of them remained stoic, and he was very glad to see that, but what worried him the most right now was H–08.

His facial plates morphed into that of slight disturbance because as he peered into your face, he clearly saw what could only be described as contemplation, doubt, and consideration, which both bothered and worried him.

Bullway smiled at how he had you under a forged delusion and continued his speech, "See the crystal globes here? There's one for each unit of your Mining Outpost. They all contain chips with your respective electronic signatures. Each vorn you have worked here, your signature will be entered an additional time. You can figure out the rest, so let us begin!"

Each vorn?

You suddenly realized that the globes were not in order because, in the same minute that you let the circumstances sink in, Bullway had already slipped a servo inside one of the spheres and grabbed one chip from it, reading it aloud so everyone could hear the letter and number clearly.

"G–10!"

All of the divisions started looking among each other, searching for the (not) lucky mech, a pregnant silence following suit as the group in front of them all glared sympathetically at the chosen one, who stood frozen in place, optics blinking several times, wishing to Primus that Bullway had read the designation incorrectly and it wasn't him who was just chosen.

You felt a shiver run down your spinal plate when one of the guards roughly seized his shoulder and made him start walking toward the platform, ignoring the mech's begging and lightly dragging him across the patio as everyone stared in horror. Your intake suddenly went dry when Bullway moved to the next globe, grabbed an electronic chip, moved to the microphone again, and read it aloud.

This time it was from the upper divisions, A–07, you heard.

Just like that, another mech was whisked away from his branch line and thrown across the patio. He then ascended the flight of stairs to stand beside G–10, who apparently was still encapsulated in deep denial, continuously shaking his helm in disbelief. It was tenaciously obvious that Bullway did not concern himself with their worries and imminent fear as he once again moved toward a globe and grabbed another.

You wished cybertronians would step outside their own frames and oversee from the outside what was actually happening at that very instant in Nuna 5PY. Plucked from their workstations like flowers in a garden, sent off to Kaon for the purpose of entertainment for the Upper class with the bombastic excuse of 'MONEY POWER GLORY' behind it.

Prisoners inside their own bodies, trapped to fend off for themselves on a planet where no one cared about them.

Electronic signatures continued rolling off the mech's glossa like energon from a wishing well. The mechs that were chosen always did the exact same thing. They stood completely aghast for a few nanokliks, staring at the soot-stained ground in front of them in absolute shock, their frames deflating like rubber balloons, dermas parting in awe at themselves because they just couldn’t believe it.

F–03.

I–11.

D–04.

E–07.

K–15.

O–02.

When they got prodded by one of the guards, they stared at them, silently begging for compassion, but they found none. Eventually, they were pulled out of their place and shoved towards the staircase on the stage, where Bullway gleefully welcomed all the newcomer 'gladiators' just to grab another electronic chip and call out yet another designation, and so repeating the cycle.

C–01.

M–06.

B–09.

L–01.

J–02.

N–14.

Oh, there was still a globe left. The H unit.

The crowd drew in a collective breath, and then you could hear a pin drop. You were feeling nauseous, your servos clammy, your whole frame tense, your processor hurt, and your spark ached. You longed to see Starlight, you wanted to chase after the train where you sent Vaportrail off to Cyberpolis, and you didn’t know how much H–01 was desperately hoping that it wasn’t you, that it wasn’t you, that it wasn’t you.

"And the last one! H–08!"

[sunnies-theory-of-happiness]

ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ɢᴀᴢᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇs ᴍᴇ ʙʟᴜᴇ

: ̗̀➛ it's a me, sunnie★ feel free to give me a nickname of your own<3 i am singaporean. i use she/they and am a minor, so don't be a creep. my birthday is december 30th, making me a capricorn. my mbti is infp-t.

: ̗̀➛ i kin vil schoenheit, azul ashengrotto (twisted wonderland), akane kurokawa (oshi no ko), zac the sunrise (beyblade burst), momo kisaragi (kagerou project) and kiyama hiroto (inazuma eleven)

: ̗̀➛ i am a huge enjoyer of noboru kodo(buddyfight), riddle rosehearts, silver vanrouge and jade leech(twisted wonderland), nene kusanagi (project sekai), hiura kirina (inazuma eleven ares), kazemaru ichirouta (inazuma eleven), matangi (moana 2), jet (hsmtmts) and seto kousuke (kagerou project)

ᴛʜᴇʏ’ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛɪᴄɪɴɢ ᴛᴏᴏ, ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏ ɪ ᴅᴏ

: ̗̀➛ i like to create banners, dividers and icons for fun. my editing blog, @/sunniesque is currently open to three requests in the inbox at a time. my blog layout is by me.

: ̗̀➛ on this blog, i will post edits, drawings, covers and poems. for fanfiction, please head to my writing blog @/cupidsstudio

: ̗̀➛ i will try to keep this blog as swear free as possible. my vent tag is #the queen of hearts' soliloquy₊˚⊹ ᥫ᭡., please dont reblog my vents.

ɪᴛ’s sᴏ ʙᴀᴅ ɪ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɪɴ

: ̗̀➛ i am in many fandoms, but this blog will mainly consist of project sekai, the riordanverse, oshi no ko, twisted wonderland, kagerou project, inazuma eleven, beyblade burst, hsmtmts and buddyfight.

: ̗̀➛ i also have a lot of ocs. too many to list. for content related to my project sekai oc idol group, please check the #☁️ dream♪st★r ☁️ tag.

: ̗̀➛ i listen to lots of artists, but my current main ones are jin, mad tsai and six the musical.

ɪ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʜᴇʟᴘ ʙᴜᴛ ғᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs

: ̗̀➛ my other interests and hobbies are ducks, winter, cheese , candy, astronomy and making silly slideshows about my silly interests.

: ̗̀➛ feel free to tag me in as many chains as you'd like, though i won't always respond, especially if i've already been tagged in it several times.

: ̗̀➛ my dms and inbox are always open if you need it, but please give a heads up first. also, my tumblr messages aren't the fastest or the best, so apologies if i take a while to respond.

“ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴏᴘ sᴛᴀʀɪɴɢ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴍ���!”

: ̗̀➛ my strawpage is always open for you to do/nf. my pronouns page has my other social medias too, such as pinterest, c.ai and wattpad. i am also snoozze on ao3.

: ̗̀➛ some of my favourite songs currently are idol (yoasobi), pop in 2 (oshi no ko), all you wanna do (samantha pauly), ira ira shiteiru (jin), diamond city lights (lazulight), SHADE (claude clawmarke&alban knox), jazz on the clock (luxiem), get lost (moana 2) and boys beware (mad tsai). i am also a big fan of vocaloid, especially the kagerou project songs.

ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ᴛᴏᴏᴋ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴅs

: ̗̀➛ if you'd like to be mutuals, feel free to send an ask and hmu!!

: ̗̀➛ i am a child of apollo, and i enjoy creating dance covers in my spare time. i also play the violin. i am a huge multishipper as well. i aspire to be an actress and love to read. i'm in the roleplay community for project sekai, the riordanverse and twisted wonderland as well, though i'm pretty inactive.

: ̗̀➛ i do not have any dni crit, but i will block you if you and/or your blog makes me uncomfortable. otherwise, i will mostly just not interact. i try to stay neutral in drama, but if you send hate, especially on anon, to a friend, i will be there in the reblogs with a verbal turret of insults and comebacks.

ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴏᴄᴋᴇᴛᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴀᴡᴀʏ

[melystar48]

heya welcome to my absolutely FUCKED up blog!! ^^

⚠ TW for here: A LOT of swearing, some potential vents(with seperate tw in them), rants, gorey-ish art or very rarely sugg(NOT NSFW or 18+. I'm still a minor. Usually just swimsuits/revealing stuff!) Art. I have a few oc x canon ships so please beware of that if you don't like self ship or oc x canon

yeah stuff along those lines lmfao- ⚠

okay, onto the actual introductions >x3

☆٭*•. ~ you may call me lily(irl name), mely, or crys 💙

٭✧`°•.🏳‍🌈.•°`✧٭

any but he/they highly prefered lmao.

gender fluid (⚠ i have issues with my gender dysphoria too. please don't make crude comments about stuff of that sort, it makes me uncomfortable ^^)

homosexual cupioromantic. questioning.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷♡specialjewel's no. 1 fan confirmed/hj 😼😼 ᰔ

interests: space/astrology, pokespe, pokemon, yokai watch, kirby, pokepasta, art/drawing

music taste: tv girl, melanie martinez, stand alantic, odertari, heavy metal, jack stober, MSI, ect

⚠ again, im a minor so no NSFW/18+ stuff, PLEASE

DNI: Basic DNI criteria, anbody over the age of like average grandparent age pls unless stated otherwise (close friends and irls are fine. Just not randoms.), NSFW/18+/p0rn/k1nk accounts, it's fine if you like a few posts but don't follow me/excessively interact at some point pls <3

Ect

1st sideblog: @specialjewelceo (daily specialjewelshipping >3< ʚɞ)

2nd sideblog: @soul-ofsilver (silver roblr/roleplay askblog)

3rd sideblog: @grated-flesh (pokepasta blog #1)

---------

I'M ADOPTING ALL OF SILVER NATION (my mutuals......shdhdheheh) MWEHHEHEHEHEHEHE

📆 birthday: 04 . 08 🌙

!!! huge space/astrology enthusiast 🪐

discord: @ melystar48

tiktok: @ melystar.48

pinterest: ask for link.

./`\.٭./`\.•✧. (Supposed to be a star bouncing 💀 how do people make emoticons oml....)

~‼️ TAGS ‼️~

art tag: #melystar48 ⭐

ykw au series: #BLOODY ASHES

daily crystal: #crystal days

pokepasta tags: #SKULLS' PEAK , #skulls peak pokepasta , #skulls peak creepypasta, #skulls peak silver #skulls peak crystal

rant/yapping tag: #lily rants

answers/inbox: #lily answers shit & # (insert user/anon)

#DON'T STEAL MY GODDAMN ART = this was just a random tag i made, but it contains almost all of my art on here unlike my actual tag, that's just the art since I've made that tag lol)

#silvercopter tumblr family status = this post makes it make sense, but it's just a half-assed online degenerate family rp i guess

okay bye ily lol

-----------

UPDATES:

3.8.25: 1:made post,

2:added DNI cause i forgot...sobsob,

3:added discord

3.14.25: added silver blog + adopting silver nation

3.15.25: added silvercopternation family's tag thingy

3.16.25: added grated-flesh blog + it's tags

4.19.25: updated discord user, added tt & pin

--

[nonhuman-help-column]

Hello! And welcome to the Nonhuman Advice Column.

Here you can ask for tips, tricks, and advice from a fellow nonhuman of nearly a decade. Just send an ask, and I will do my best to help you with anything from species dysphoria, questioning, defining community terms, how to talk about your identity with friends, and more.

This column is run by a single moderator who works full time, but I will do my best to reply as fast as possible! Mod uses he/him and is in his 20's.

What is Allowed?

- Requests for any sort of help or advice

- Asking for kin activities, journaling prompts, or similar

- Confessions and rambles

- NSFW questions (related to nonhumanity) from those over 18. The replies to these will be put under a cut and all will be tagged #MDNI

- Asking for advice from the community, just specify that you would like others to reblog and add on their thoughts

What isn't allowed?

- Requests to post bewares

- Vents openly about other members of the community

- Requests for moodboards, playlists, care packages, etc. There are plenty of other great blogs out there for these!

Tags:

#[species] kin - to find all asks related to a particular species.

#activities - for all activity recommendations

#questioning help - for advice about finding your species or label

#finding friends - for advice about building community, finding other nonhuman friends, and similar questions

#terminology help - for definitions and brainstorming labels

#validity politics - for talking about whether or not something is valid (pro tip, the answer is almost always going to be yes) or belongs under a particular label

#[emoji] anon - for those who want to be in frequent contact but stay anonymous

Tags list will be added onto as I get different kinds of asks! This list is not comprehensive of all the things I offer.

[fullcollapse-mp3]

follow at ur own risk

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ──

cr33p-a-z01d ———> deathwish-mp3

personal status: thursday..............thebband thursaday................

online status: off and on

jailed?: nope :)

music of choice:

pinterest ~ new spotify go follow me ~ spacehey ~ pronouns.page ~ ao3 is tboymikeyway :)

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

ryan or spencer. (mutuals and irls can call me mikey :3). minor. pronouns in bio. I don't rlly do tag games sorry </3

things I like: my friends (shoutout zari and frankie ilysm mwah <33 /p), mcr, the academy is..., spacehey, poetry, harley poe, will wood, writing fanfic (I take requests), cobra starship, cigarettes, mikey way, nine inch nails, nu metal, saw, the 2000s, faith the unholy trinity, and scene culture

things I don't like: bigots, zionists, people at my school, ppl who are mean 4 no reaosn, cringe culture, and terfs/transphobes

byf: I might be a minor but I get fucking weird here sometimes so just an fyi. I also vent about my depression a lot so beware. see my spacehey or send asks if u want to get to know me better! :) also I fw bandom rpf HEAVVVYYY so don't follow if u don't wanna see that

dni: people over 30, bigots, zionists, homophobes, yada yada yk the drill. also people who partake in cringe culture, and xenogender haters. if you actively post about eds and sh I will block you for my own sake. also if you are religious do not talk to me about that shit I will kill you with hammers.

blinkies/graphics!!!!

these BEAUTIFUL things made by my super duper awesome mutual @rip-my-heart-out-and-eat-it <3333

[here-am-i-sitting-in-a-tin-can]

Intr0duct!on

please do not send me asks for donations, here’s why. bad day? poetry blog: @ode-to-the-muses best rp ever: @halloween-jack-fr

song stuck on repeat:

• Hello, you can call me Luca, Penelope (any nicknames welcome) or Skye (but feel free to call me nicknames based on my url, let me be one of those people)

• my wonderful partner: @narcissus10191

• I’m genderfluid, so my pronouns change a lot (card). Please check here what they currently are before referring to me.

• pronouns: she/he + any gendered terms, last updated April 21st

• also important: I am offline every day from midnight till 7 am, CET. Everything posted in that time frame is queued/scheduled.

• my gender is whatever coked up Bowie had going on.

• I’m bi-lesbian and somewhere on the ace spectrum, but too lazy to find a label

• and a minor

• I am a hellenic polytheist, but I don’t post about it much (you can ask me about it though)

• I’m also punk and may post shit I make for my jacket

• I speak German and English (fluently), know the basics in Italian, Spanish and French, and can insult you in Korean.

• My fandoms are: PJO, The Marauders/Harry Potter (fuck jkr), The Hunger Games, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Ghostbusters, Sherlock Holmes (BBC, the books, Sherlock & Co.), Dead Boy Detectives, Derry Girls, Stranger Things

• Twitter and the Gulf of Mexico are the only things we deadname in this house

• me living in Germany is cause for multiple mental breakdowns a week over fucking Deutsche Bahn, don’t be put off.

• I am kind of fucked in the head, don’t expect me to be normal. Ever. • As in I have depression and am probably autistic, but testing isn’t available to me so self diagnosing will have to do, (maybe also bpd? fuck therapy tho)

• on that note: major swear warning, not even my intro is clean

• other TWs include: suicidal thoughts, depression, smoking, SH and ED

• here’s my Pinterest if you’re interested

• my blog is a safe space for you unless you find yourself in my DNI.

• DNI: transphobes, homophobes, racists, sexists, zionists, MDNI blogs, if you wanna convert me or smth, etc.

• If you don’t like my stuff, the door is right there, don’t be rude about it.

• please don’t hesitate to send me your thoughts and questions about literally anything. Inbox and DMs are always wide open. • I’m sorry if you followed me for something specific and now have a bunch of shit I reblog on your dash

• and also please send music recs, I love discovering new music.

Tags I use regularly:

#skye’s silly thoughts ➾ shower thoughts, lyrics I relate to, and shitposting #der die deine mom ➾ yeah sometimes I speak German (lyrics, vents, politics) #tin can vents ➾ vents I suppose, I don’t always put TWs so beware

#my fucked up family ➾ self explanatory

#my poor poetry attempts ➾ my poetry/writing

#cal <3 ➾ my beloved, he is half my soul, as the poets say

#my silly bug boys ➾ about The Beatles, my commentary on Get Back, etc. #love letters ➾ submissions

#luca’s fanfic ➾ my fan fiction

#penny sings sometimes ➾ my guitar covers and maybe original songs in the future

#skye’s asks ➾ my asks

moodboards by my beloved (cal <3):

by aiden my love:

My Taste In Music. About Requests. Microfic Navigation. My Cover Of Landslide.

[spilling-my-guts-to-you-guyss]

New intro post cuz the other one is shit

Reminders for me-

Gift from ellia Symbolism and shit <js for me ig> Gift from ellia but i drew it Notes challenge Thinking about my past attempt vent art...

Time since last relapse: 4 days

Hey guys, lore drop ig, I'll be explaining it straightforward, so trigger warnings

Also not tagging my main account, but if you search deep enough here, youll find it

Minor, Christian, Ex-suicidal, struggling with self harm, Have several physical and probably mental problems, BUT here to help where I can

Minor: i am a minor, 16 to be precise. And to be honest, i domt care what ysll do here. I dont care if youre mean or nice, or anything. If you help, thank you so much. If you dont, well im still glad youre here. The only real rule is please dont be sexually explicit or freaky in thst nature. This is a serious blog to me. Christian: I am a Christian. I have grown in religion, yet only in the past 2 years have i really grown closer to God. My past life was... terrible in a sense. Not because of family or friemds, just myself. God saved me countless times from Satan, from myself. In still figuring out some things, still wondering about my purpose... but hopefully things will be cleared up soon. Ex-suicidal: i will explain explicitly so beware- I've attempted may 25th 2024 i belive. It was a Saturday, and it was by attempted overdose. I tried with 55 pills (a variety), thinking that might be enough. But surely it wasn't, and i lived. If taken 5-10 more though, then things would've been serious. Anyways, I'm still somewhat affected by it. I can't take pills without feeling gross after, and any mention of suicide or even the words related to it maks me a bit uncomfortable. Still struggling with thoughts on my life, but i will not attempt again. I wouldn't dare. Self Harm: Started this around January February last year (2024), and just progressively grew worse... was first hangnail picking then using nail cutters on my skin, then tweezers, box knives, and carving knives. spread all over my body in small splotches; arms, wrist, thigh, ankles. Its grown so bad that i feel no affects of it any longer. No pain, yet also no relief. It's an addiction in trying to stop... i am getting help though. Ill put a "time since relapse" cohnt up there, as you have seen Problems: ive got suspected autism and adhd, and I'm actually gonna get a psych evaluation for this soon. But anyways, also suspected depression. Was also diagnosed with coccygodynia (chronic tailbone pain) after an accident, and overall i have shrimp posture. Not kidding about that too, it's fucking terrible. Also I'm quite overweight and it's a self conscious thing. Plus my jaw problems... I've got plenty things wrobg with me physically as much s mentally. Helping: yeah I made this alt account to get help, i do need it... BUT im also here for you guys! remmeber always that you are loved, people care for you! i dont wanna give the cliche "life gets better" shit, because sometimes it doesnt. But just because it doesnt get better doesnt mean it will never. I care for you and yall can talk to me, Ill try my best to help where I can. Remember again! I love you, God loves you, people inthe world care for you.

People who know my shit

Online- the-ellia-west, geckowo, sunflowerrosy, homelessnerd, inspirationallybored, likeadeadbattery

In person- lwkjsfloating (sis), theweirbox123 (friend), potatoeperson33 (friend), bamboozled-08orange (froend), mom (not sbout suicide tho)

Thanks for reading if yall really did, I know its a lot.

have a great day or night, get rest and always remember

YOU ARE LOVED

[genericventblogname-cockandballs]

"But as it is, the water is simply stroking his fur."

Intro post; beware, triggering blog, block don't report, tw animal death for the poem quoted

------------------

I'm Elliot, a teenage loser who runs this blog.

I'm not pro anorexia, sh, or any other harmful illness, I believe everyone deserves to get help. I don't want my posts to get traction I just want someone to hear me scream. It is hell and I wish I could recover but I am unable to. I don't have people to talk to in real life, reporting will not make me get better, please go report actually harmful people (like the pedophiles or trolls who plague vent communities).

In fact, I really dislike people who act like they love their ED or are stereotypical ana girlies and block them when possible, don't mistake me for those people.

------------------

"It is raining and there is a dog lying in the gutter-"

------------------

Basic info

•I'm a transgender man who uses he/him pronouns

•I have a restrictive ed (undx) somewhere between bulimia (c/s), Anorexia (restriction), and EDNOS (b/r cycles and not uw) I'm partially recovering currently (eating more and gaining muscle back)

•I sh, I don't post pictures nor do I encourage it.

•I've been told I possibly have autism (mom won't let me attempt to get tested) and I struggle with social cues, tone tags are appreciated but not necessary (unless I need more context)

•Dx EDS, I don't currently use mobility aids except for my orthotics

•Possible OSDD or P-DID system (again not dx) I mostly cofront when I do switch. Feel free to interact with the others but PLEASE do not interact with any young ones, it's a matter of preference and safety.

•Please tag paranoia bait and reblog bait with rb bait and/or reblog bait

•DM for my main (same url as before for those who know me from my last accs) but I interact from my main (this is a side blog, so if you're cool you get my main)

------------------

"-and the gutter is filling with water because the sewer is clogged."

------------------

Things I won't allow on my blog:

•Asking for harmful tips (I will not tell you how to purge, cut deeper, or fast longer.) I will give my best attempt at harm reduction advice but I advise you to find better sources.

•No meanspo or fatspo- if you post fatspo I will block, and if you post meanspo please tag it

•No queer discourse. I have mutuals who use neos and controversial labels, if you don't like it leave because I support them fully.

•Goes without saying but no transphobia, homophobia, racists, ableists, or zionists. Leave.

•Fake claim me or my mutuals. I do not want what I suffer with and it impacts me day to day, and it feeds into my self-doubt

------------------

"If the dog were alive he'd be drowning-"

------------------

Tags to block:

Ed vents: #elliot!ed!

Sh vents: #vent!sh!

Substances: #vent!sillyjuice!

Rb thinspo: #TW->thinspo

"Rb or gain 10kg" or paranoia bait posts (if I don't rb I get anxious so anxious): #rb bait #reblog bait

Sexual posts: #suggestive

------------------

"-but as it is,"

------------------

Alters and alter tags

Elliot2: #elliot the squeakquel 🔥

Andrew: #andrew tag 🚬

Victor: N/A

Bea: #bea tag 🩰

Jack: #jack tag🏫

------------------

"The water is simply stroking his fur.

------------------

"Seeing a Dog in the Rain" by Laura Gilpin

[rylanboo]

Important!!! Please Read

I usually don't do bewares as much but it came from attention that two users @/analogdaddy aka salmonmaws and kipper (fruitlerdoodler) have been caught with Disgusting and awful behavior Trigger Warning:mentions of SA Gr00ming and other stuff that might be very triggering towards other people please read at your own risk or feel free to scroll away! Salmonmaws has been caught grooming a minor by the age of 14 according to the documents Xe has also vented towards minors about their past 4bus3 Xe also has posted nsfw in a sfw space according to the document Link to salmonmaws doc:

Kipper aka Fruitlerdoodler has SA'ed a person (not naming them due to their safety) and blackmailed them and gr00m3d them as well they even gave d34th threats towards the victim and told them they deserved to di3 from c4nc3r Link to Kippers doc:

Side note:

some tags that are used is to spread awareness especially towards people who are in the same fandom as these 2

Theyre also both on tumblr as well Accounts to report and block

Salmonmaws has a habit of changing xer's user name whenever they get caught

[m00nstruck-eyes]

I have no idea how tumblr works I never used it before...

Otis ⌗ they/he ★ Slavic (Polish) ♰ trans demiboy 𖦹 8teen ꗃ pan

I'll most likely post yan & vent blogs but I'm not promising that it'll be regular

Fandoms: studio investigrave (esp dead plate), homicipher, clinical trial game, 8:11 game, danganronpa, the stanley parable, my own OCs, Saihate Station

Feel free to ask stuff or dm me.

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

┊byf 𖤐

𖦹 Despite living in England and knowing English since I was 9, I'm still terrible at this language. It's mostly my grammar that sucks. If bad grammar bothers you then you should leave lol

𖦹 I might word things in a way that seem sarcastic or mean but in 90% of the time I don't mean it like that. I'm sorry if I ever sound rude

𖦹 Since it's more of a vent acc, I'll be posting stuff that can be triggering. Mostly stuff related to suicide, isolation/loneliness, obsession, yandere fantasies and shitty family

𖦹 I may post/repost sexual content from time to time

𖦹 I'm not a dangerous yandere, but I am clingy, annoying, pathetic, lonely and desperate, so beware of that

┊dni 𖤐

𖦹 15 and below (you can interact with posts, just don't dm me)

𖦹 Proshippers and darkshippers. Comshippers are fine as long as it's nothing illegal

𖦹 Homophobes, transphobes, racists, ableist, etc etc

𖦹 Radqueers

𖦹 If you're going to lecture me about my own mental health and coping mechanisms. I literally dgaf

𖦹 If you use any form of generative AI. I hate you so much

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

Anons: 🦦, ⭐️

(list will be updated everytime I get a new anon lol) (anons will be deleted of they're not active for 5 days)

⋅───⊱༺ ♰ ༻⊰───⋅

Tagging system. Some may overlap with eachother

#otis mcyappington <- rambles

#moonstruck otis <- yandere/obsessive stuff

#otis take your meds <- vents and rants

#otis answers your prayers <- answering your asks