#varricmancer

[emotionallyunstabl]

varric shutting hawke down from the flirting early on is so juicy to me because ok when is he gonna take it back?

Mid game when hawke is already in a relationship with anders? of course he would never say anything post-da2 bc hawke does not need that after having to kill their boyfriend.

and by the time they meet again in skyhold how many years has it been? maybe now is the time,,,, of course after one last mission,,,,,,,,,,,

[new-austin]

Proposing my theory:

The Merchant's Guild is convinced Varric made up the whole "Champion of Kirkwall" arishok thing and all other Hawke Facts™️ because Hawke is obviously just Varric's favorite sugar baby. He makes up stories about Hawke so no one is suspicious when they can suddenly afford a nice house in high town or show up at important parties. If Hawke passes through the merchant guild's market in high town everyone there calls him the "Champion of Kirkwall" with a voice like they know exactly how much varric is paying the human nobles to pretend to gush about them.

[lavellane]

i was so set on replaying veilguard for the davrinmance but oh my god im SO attached to my agent-of-fenharel hardingmancer rn i actually think the choice is out of my hands lol

[cadaveerie]

related to this post about the gameinformer articles.... but also kinda unrelated: here are some funny things that i realized while putting it together:

the names of the pictures that you can read on the drive are the names they were originally uploaded with by gameinformer. my hightlights are "davris" and "tassh".

i'm. sorry. it's driving me insane that when talking about romance they have A PICTURE OF HARDING AND VARRIC to accompany it. like ok, we know we can romance her, BUT WHY VARRICCC WHYYYY

THE SAME PICTURE IS USED IN THE NUDITY ARTICLE. AND THE COVER IMAGE FOR THAT ONE IS SOLAS. WHAT AFJSHGHSGL ARE WE FINALLY GONNA SEE THEM NAKED-

*loads the game* *a varric x solas very explicit sex scene unfolds before my eyes* wow... goty

sorry i just thought it was. funny. and weird. and suspicious. *tries very hard not to make this post part of his varricmancer agenda* auuuggghhh..

anyway that's it.. can't believe we'll FINALLY see varric's hairy ass and solas' massive schlong in 4k *gets shot*

[pinacoladamatata]

Bianca *gets exploded*

The fans: Here's how Varricmancers can still win

[solastia]

Chapters: 12/? Fandom: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Varric Tethras/Original Female Character(s), Rylen (Dragon Age)/Original Female Character(s) Characters: Male Inquisitor (Dragon Age), Cassandra Pentaghast, Varric Tethras, Solas (Dragon Age), The Iron Bull (Dragon Age), Dorian Pavus, Cole (Dragon Age), Cullen Rutherford, Sera (Dragon Age), Leliana (Dragon Age), Vivienne (Dragon Age), Trevelyan (Dragon Age), Rylen (Dragon Age) Additional Tags: Suicide Attempt, Modern Girl in Thedas, MGiT, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, eventual smut so the rating will change, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Flirting and bad jokes because this is Varric we are talking about, Crystal is very soft and sensitive, don't expect the badass female warrior thing, Varric may usually go for that type, but I think he would benefit more from someone that actively needs him and someone he can coddle, Past Abuse, Time Travel, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, a bit of jealousy until we get rid of she-who-shall-not-be-named, OC learns to love herself, Did I just promo BTS here?, maybe so, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Character Death, Demons Are Assholes, Love Triangles, Found Family, Adoption, no beta we die like Leandra, Masturbation, Explicit Sexual Content Summary:

Instead of the nothingness she had craved, Crystal woke up in the world of Thedas. What had once been merely a story that she loved now seemed very real and she was right in the heart of it all. She soon finds a reason to live again and a love in the arms of someone as quietly broken as her.

[vigilskeep]

anyway draw ur aeducan/brosca/cadash’s love interests and ur varricmancing hawkes etc with ONE vambrace pls they r spoken for

obsessed with the dwarf noble origin line abt gorim that says “he wears both vambraces... unmarried and eligible!”

this is partly bc the canon implication of a whole system to tell someone’s relationship status by their armour is very delightful but also they cant have both vambraces?? married dwarven warriors will be like damn who needs both arms

[wrdn-tabris]

MAYBE ILL FINALLY MAKE THAT VARRICMANCER I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT

[varricmancer]

Varric couldn’t seem to stop his gaze from straying to the newest member of their crew as he spun a (only slightly embellished) tale to entertain them for the evening. He was used to his audiences gasping in shock or staring raptly with excitement. Instead, she was watching him with a smirk that tilted her pretty lips, like she knew he was full of crap and was letting him spew it all anyway. But even more captivating was the look in her eyes - warm and fond, dangerously so. Like all he had to do was say the right words for her to tumble into his arms. 

The wonderful @the-commanderjaneshepard gifted me some fanart for my birthday! Varric and my OC Crystal from my fic Lost and Found. The snippet is from the upcoming chapter that is from Varric’s POV. 

[emedeme]

50 euro are around 36 UK pounds and around 60 US dollars. I don’t keep tabs on them every day, but Google is your friend when it comes to translate currencies and luckily PayPal allows you to pay in different currencies as well :)

[lyrium-lavellan]

could you tell me a bit about vel and varric?? what draws them to one another? which characteristics immediately attract the other, and which do they grow to love?

Of course, I love yelling about my babies! Ok so initially, Vel was really apprehensive about the whole Herald of Andraste thing. She just wanted to go home and never deal with humans ever again. She bonded with Solas and Varric(later Sera and Bull) because they were the only other non-humans who had joined the Inquisition. Varric helped her realize that it wasn’t all bad, and supported her through some especially rough patches, vouching for her character.

Varric was drawn to Vel because she’s just so sweet. Almost sickeningly so. He instantly admires her honesty and unadulterated sense of self, how unapologetic she is especially when it comes to her being an elf. As they get to know one another better, her resilience impresses him. Her past is so tragic but she still manages to remain positive, if a little timid. He grows to care for her more and more, a little more than a friend should. And then suddenly, they’re no longer “just friends”.

Vel was drawn to Varric for so many reasons(none of them being his chest hair). His wit and intelligence, his talent with a pen, and his intriguing past attracted her, among other qualities. At first it was innocent curiosity, then it graduated into a genuine desire to speak with him - about nothing and everything. She wanted to know about Hawke, and he was curious about her life with her Clan. Soon, she was completely smitten.

They grew to love each other’s awkward qualities, specifically the way Varric loses his cool around Vel towards the later end of their friendship(which Dorian notices, and promptly points out). Vel, being on the receiving end of Varric’s kindness and generosity, falls head over heels. Literally. She suddenly becomes very clumsy, tripping on air. Varric also loves Vel’s curiosity - the way she looks nose-deep in a book, tracing her fingers under the words to keep her place. They gradually realize they love all of the little, almost unnoticeable qualities of the other. Then, they realize they love the other person. It’s a very slow process, full of hesitant touches and stolen glances from across packed rooms, but eventually they get their moment. It’s all very romantic and sappy, perfect material for a trashy novel(Cassandra gets the first copy, by the way). The Storyteller and The Heroine make one hell of a pair.

send obscure asks about my dragon age OCs!

[lavellane]

ive made my feelings on veilguard clear atp but i WILL say as a tragedy enjoyer act 3 really redeems sooooo much of it for me. esp having my rook-and-siblings worldstate bc let me tell u 3 rooks = 3 separate tragedies is DOING it for me rn. a bellaramancer a hardingmancer and a varricmancer walk into a bar. they all walk out single 😍

[crackinglamb]

Chapters: 11/29 Fandom: Dragon Age: Inquisition Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Female Lavellan/Solas, Fen'Harel | Solas/Female Lavellan, Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus, Female Hawke/Varric Tethras, Cullen Rutherford/Original Female Character(s) Characters: Cremisius "Krem" Aclassi, Hawke's Mabari (Dragon Age), Abelas (Dragon Age) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Modern Girl in Thedas, Established Relationship, Fluff-uary 2021, Tumblr Prompt, Fluff, Romance, Carly & the Ancient Elvhen Boyband, Explicit Sexual Content Series: Part 4 of Til It Squeaks: A Modern Girl's Take on Thedas Summary:

A multi-ship romp of fluffy prompts! Featuring Carly and Solas, Dorian and Iron Bull, Varric and Hawke and more. These all exist within the worldstate of Twist, an MGIT AU. Pairings will head each prompt in the author's notes.

NSFW will be marked with **.

As always, beta'd by Iron_Angel.

Chapter 11 - Take Them Dancing**

The door was barely closed behind him before Hawke began stripping off her sweaty clothes.  Her skin gleamed in the firelight from the hearth and he leaned back against the door to watch her sashay around the room, still idly dancing to some tune in her head.  Her skin was a roadmap of scars, and he knew the name of each one.  It was strange to think about, how long they'd been together, how much they'd done together.  He was still in awe of her love for him.

“You're staring, darling,” Hawke said, finally collapsing onto the edge of the bed.

“I like watching you.”

Her brilliant sapphire eyes looked black in the darkness, and they gleamed with a mix of humor and desire.  “So come watch a little closer.”

Well, he couldn't ignore an invitation like that.

[varricmancer]

Varric teaching Crystal how to use the bow 🥰

Commission for @varricmancer! Thank you very much <3

[sapphim]

are there any slutty armor mods out there for varric I NEED to KNOW

[sinsbymanka]

Thank you @tevivinter​ for the lovely prompt. I agree, it screams Varric trying to talk down his very angry, yet adorable, girlfriend. ;-) For @dadrunkwriting​, I present... 

Pairing: Maria Cadash/Varric 

Carta. 

The fucking Carta. It was always the Carta. Like clockwork, just like it always was. First, as usual, Bianca showed up trailing trouble and fluttering her lashes. 

Then, she left him holding a dustpan and a broom. This time she didn’t even leave with a sweet goodbye kiss. This time, she may well have damn left forever. Varric, oddly, wasn’t as bothered by that as he should have been.

What did bother him, honestly, was the final act of the repeating drama. The damn Carta assassins that snuck into Skyhold like rats. He honestly hoped they could skip this step in the dance. Apparently, it wasn’t meant to be. He opened his bedroom door and saw the flash of steel just in time to twist his wrist and slam the heavy oak slab back on the would-be assassin’s wrist. It broke with a satisfying crack and a rather less-than-manly yelp. 

The second one threw a flask of Antivan fire, which was more troublesome. Varric sprung back into the room, his bad knee protesting vigorously, reminding him he was far too old for this tragic lovers shit. Still, he had the more reliable version of Bianca in his hands in a moment, ready to give a hello kiss to the second dwarf rolling through the door. One bolt, clean and simple, through the right eye. 

“Beautiful, baby.” He murmured affectionately. “That was beautiful.” 

Limp-wrist rolled into the room over top his friend, bolt-in-the-eye. He still held one of his daggers, although Varric was pleased to see he didn’t try to pick up the second. Varric’s bolt just missed anything vital as the man threw himself to the left, knocking over the table just inside the door and spilling a pitcher of water all over the letters laying there. 

Well, honestly, it wasn’t like Varic was going to answer them anyway. 

His next bolt hit the mark, right through the heart, just in time to reveal the biggest and ugliest bastard they’d sent this time. This one used the body of the second as a shield, Varric’s third bolt thudding uselessly beside the second as the brute rushed forward. 

Then stopped, comically stunned. He dropped the body of his comrade, reaching up to grasp his throat, fingers slashing themselves on the pointed arrowhead through his artery. 

He too swayed, then dropped. Varric would never get the stench of cheap ale and blood out of his carpet. Behind him, Maria Cadash already had a second arrow she didn’t need strung. 

Thank Andraste they’d been preparing to set out for some Maker-forsaken desert today. She usually simply roamed with nothing but the dagger on her hip.

“There are Carta.” Maria stated, nose twitching with anger. “In my castle.” 

He shouldn’t have said it, but the words were out of his mouth before he could think them through. “I mean, there’s usually at least one.” 

His very own Carta princess drew herself up straighter, eyes flashing, and Varric winced. “You’re far classier, though.” 

“Varric, why are there Carta in my castle?” 

Oh ancestors did he not want to answer that question. “Jealous. Probably. You started a trend. Got yourself a nice castle and now every duster with a chip on his shoulder...” 

“Varric.” 

Her voice. Her damned voice and those silver eyes framed by wisps of red hair. She saw right through him, cut right through him, just like she always did. He dropped his gaze away, shrugging his shoulders. 

He thought they could move on without revisiting the past. Varric should have known better. He was trapped in the past and always would be. 

“Listen.” He began softly, praying she could already hear the remorse under his words. “I haven’t exactly been truthful with you.” 

“Really?” Maria asked. “You’re joking. You, dishonest?” 

Ah. Sarcasm. Hello, old friend. 

“I... Bianca and I had a thing. A long time ago. And, well, sometimes the thing resumed and you know how dwarves are with their grudges.” 

She watched him warily as he struggled to find the words. “It... even though nothing happened. And I swear, nothing happened, her family... her family found out. As they do. And they sent assassins.” 

“As they usually do?” Maria queried.

Varric shrugged. “You would think they’d finally spring for someone a bit better at this than the Carta, but they’re snobs. Wouldn’t want to pay a human the money.” 

“How many times?” Maria asked incredulously. Varric winced. 

“Bianca and I...” 

“No, not Bianca.” Maria waved the name away like a gnat. “I don’t give a nug’s ass about how many time you two explored the deep roads. How many assassination attempts?” 

Oh. Varric paused, considered. “Fourteen?” 

“Fourteen.” She repeated. “Her family tried to kill you fourteen times and she sat on her ass?” 

“Princess, you know how clans...” 

“Bullshit.” Maria finally lowered her bow, crossed her arms over her chest. “If my family tries to kill you, you bleedin’ try and kill them back. None of this ‘fourteen assassination attempts’ later fuckin’ around.” 

She turned on her heel. Varric wasn’t certain, because it didn’t make much sense, but he swore she muttered something about feeding Bianca her eyeballs. 

Varric watched her go, torn between amusement, awe, and a wild, irrational blaze of lust. 

Kill ‘em back. The fucking Carta, he swore to the Maker. They’d get him yet.