#usually i can cope
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i am CLOWNING tonight
#god between the spn s16 rumors and nandermo im fucking losing it over here#like#i’m going to start frothing at the mouth over them actually#i don’t know if we’ll get a kiss but i am so desperate to know where the nandermo plot line is going#bc there’s a DISTINCT romantic undertone to everything going on so far#and granted i’ve only seen 3 of the eps so far#but like?? there’s SUCH a breakup arch happening right now#it’s almost painful to watch the pining of it all#but i haven’t wanted a ship to be canon this bad in ages#usually i can cope#but i NEED them to be canon#there is literally no way they’re gonna play them off as to pals being bros in the year of our lord 2024#(there is a way.)
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uhh im alive or smth GO assorted random robot drawings
#transformers#chromedome#rewind#brainstorm#whirl#sounds like im just tagging random ass words LMAO#random fax machine minibot i made idk#not my usual thang... sory zeldaheads#can you tell i like chromedome a lot... :) my wife with horrid coping mechanisms#myart
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reading nona the ninth as an australian has been so good. like is this how americans feel all the time?? reading their american books written by american authors?? literal actual God in TLT is a māori new zealander... im reading abt how he and his buddies sat in the back of their ute eating sausage rolls.... nona said the word munted...
#like just kind of generally whenever new zealand or australia pops up in a piece of media i go wild#like in enders game how mazer rackham is a māori man#i went CRAZY like YES PACIFICA RELEVANCY LETS GOOOOOOOO#THERE ARE COUNTRIES SOUTH OF THE EQUAAATORRRRR#like man new zealand theyre my neighbours bro#i get so excited#sigh unforch usually when theres an australian character in anything theyre a ginormous asshole#but i can cope lmao#the day i witness an aboriginal australian character in a piece of popular media i may actually lose my mind with sheer joy#tlt#the locked tomb#nona the ninth
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Thanks you to all of you who have been so kind lately, I know we don’t know each other personally but I feel like I have a lil family and I’m not alone in being treated like shit by someone who pretended to love you ❤️🩹 big hugs to all of you, and also all you going through a depressive episode, a dark time, or struggling with substance abuse of any sort, I see you, I understand, and there will be people you find in this life that will see you too
#also some of you know me as the artist sunlightafterdark and I get a lil more open on here cause it was always my safe space#so if you know me from that#yes I’m a real person and I struggle and I’m not always happy and I’m not the usual type A kinda person that runs a successful business#but I’m here to say it can be done even if you don’t get out of bed for days#even if you have bad coping skill and are trying to get better it is possible#but it’s so so important not to surround yourself with negative people
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pov you heard your cat chewing something, asked them "what are you eating" and they started chewing faster
#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#not explicitly narilamb but you can tag that it ok#i know its messier than usual but thats all i can manage atm#im still processing the emotional whiplash i got from those last bishops quests#needed some sillies to cope 🫶
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the way i see it kaiser is kind of stuck in this state of constantly trying to prove his adulthood but the truth is that he’s one of if not THE most childish character we see in blue lock. niko is, what, four years younger than him??? and yet between the two kaiser is the one who acts more like a kid imo. i mean…his nonsense with isagi. the overall cringe. the swearing (“ex-fucking-cuse me part ___”). that one scene with the wine mom fit (complete with a glass of red). the obsession with psychology. the whole thing about thriving in malice and restriction and whatnot. i don’t think he ever grew up — and, in some sense, i don’t think he ever really left that jail cell, either. however i don’t like him so i won’t be considering this any further
#i wouldn’t consider this a pause from kaiser hating but here is a slightly more insightful post than my usual slander#i mean not that this is NICE but at least i’m not calling him grated cheese#anyways obviously i Don’t GAF abt him so don’t go crazy in the notes abt how i missed the point of his character#i probs did idk i genuinely don’t care abt him or any of the characters he’s associated with#so this is based solely on what vague recollections i have of him!!#you can consider it my coping mechanism for the fact that i have to see his ugly ass week after week#michael kaiser#bllk
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TAKIISHI CHIKA IN CHAPTER 153
#✧* ꜝ takiishi chika#𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝓴𝓲𝓴𝓲#TAKIISHI CHIKA I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU#I WANT TO BITE YOU / EAT YOU / KISS YOU / CONSUME YOU / DEVOUR YOU / CLAIM YOU / DO EVERYTHING TO YOU#SWEETHEART LOVE DARLING HONEY ANGEL SWEETIE BOO DEAREST SUNSHINE CUPCAKE GEM PRECIOUS GORGEOUS BEAUTIFUL BELOVED CHARMING MY EVERYTHING ADO#SOULMATE TREASURE MY LOVE ENCHANTING LOVELY HEARTBEAT ANGEL FACE CUDDLE BUG SWEET PEA SPARK BUTTERCUP FIREFLY DREAMBOAT BUTTERFLY STARSHINE#SWEETS POOKIE SNUGGLE MUFFIN DARLINGHEART STARLIGHT MOONBEAM CUPID SWEETY PIE FLOWER DAZZLE BELOVED ANGEL POOH BEAR SUNKISS HARMONY SWEET C#TAKIISHI CHIKA DON'T MAKE ME GO EVEN MORE INSANE / BOY YOU DRIVE ME TO THE EDGE AND I WILL DIVE IN FULLY LET ME DROWN#I HATE YOU CHIKA I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME OBSESSED WITH YOU I WILL NEVER GET A REAL BF LIKE THAT#PLEASE BE REAL AND LET ME LOVE YOU AND BE YOUR COOL GF I CAN KICK ASS TOO IM SO GOOD AT FIGHTING#I CAN TWIST HANDS I CAN KICK HIGH WE WILL BE SO HOT TOGETHER#i mean we are alr together in my silly little brain#GUYS PLEASE IM NOT WEIRD IF I CANT HAVE A REAL BOY TO OBSESS AND LOVE / I HAVE TO COPE SMH PLEASUE UNDERSTAND THIS#I MEAN MY MAN IS THE BEST ISN'T HE HMM#kichi / takikishi forever#F O R E V E R#MONSTER MY BABY IS A MONSTER#IM IN LOVE WITH A MONSTER#EXPECT SO MANY CHIKA CONTENT AS USUAL#YOUR CHEEKS I WILL EAT THEM AND KISS THEM AND BITE THEM#takiishi#takiishi x reader#takiishi chika
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"Sometimes you learn more things from the difficulties than from the celebrations"
#google play 'handsome devil' by the smiths#god he's so charming and handsome for how much this race devestated him and all of nando girles(gn)#the lighting in this interview is genuinely immaculate#like seriously why is he always at his most attractive when suffering the absolute most#he dnfs and is slow all wknd and then looks absolutely godly and beautiful#so yeah as you can tell. im very enamored by post mexico fernando#also i liked this interview it was very very comforting#you should always watch his interviews after bad races bcs they really just remove all depression you may have#like: 1. he always looks so beautiful and stunning. 2. he is usually pretty rational abt the results and comofrting#yeah the quote i picked is ultra cope ofc. but hey i love cope!!!#i was so upset and done after this race just so tired of it and then i watched this interview and i feel like a happy little creature again#fernando alonso#2023 mexican gp#2023 mexican grand prix#fa14#we do a little bit of f1#f1#formula 1#formula one
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Unrelated to any of the usual things i talk or reblog about over here in my silly little corner, but as i got back into the LMK fandom bc of shadowpeach bio parent au and delve into the fanfictions because of PittedPeaches' AGAOC, i just want to say that... holy shit Red Son you and your actually dysfunctional family's dynamic DID NOT HAVE TO HIT THAT HARD IM SCREAMING IM CRYING IM SOBBING IM TEARING MY HAIR OUT IM BITING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE!!!
#babygirl im taking you and MK to therapy with me because holy mfing hell#no im actually going to throw up their family issues hits too close to home#oh but slightly unrelated but MK is definitely ADHD coded with red son definitely possibly being autistic and i will die on this hill#augwgshwh i have a bit of both of these dumbasses' coping mechanisms (mostly mk's) and i dont think im proud of it#MEI IS ICONIC AS PER USUAL TEEHEE#guys help me i spent about a week reading lmk spicynoodles fanfiction (specifically pittedpeaches' and the bookmarks and stuff THEIR WRITIN#IS SO GOOD! I CAN ONLY HOPE TO WRITE AS WELL WHILE I WORK ON MY OWN STUFF IN THE BG! i still.. need to get around getting them out#lmk#lego monkie kid#monkey kid#qi xiaotian#red son#lmk redson#lmk qi xiaotian#lmk mk#demon bull king family#demon bull family#lmk spicynoodles#spicynoodles#spicynoodleshipping#unrelated but guys do you think mk and mei would be on tumblr? + read and or write fanfiction?#aster stfu
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#that’s how I cope usually#like#ah I mean you can just practice and find the right brushes and you’ll be drawing like them#I have this toxic trait tho that I always think I’ll get it first try and it destroys my motivation#but that’s just me#and a me problem#been busy with school too and as they say#school kills artists#that’s why I like being self taught though#it’s pretty cool#I can learn stuff my way#rant
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I kinda wonder what it is about ultrakill that uh (how do I say this without being an asshole) that attracts so many systems (?)
I like statistics so I wanna like, study what it is about certain games or series that seems to collect folks like that. Is it how the fandom treats a piece of media? Is it the demographic? I donno!
Like if we all just decided to treat doom 2016 the same way we treat ultrakill would introjects n stuff start popping up over there too? (I picked doom cause it's a bloody shoot em up with religious undertones and insano angst potential, but feel free to insert any other game here too) I'm just genuinely curious about it all
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#ultrakill confessions#ultrakill#I think it entirely depends on the audience something markets itself towards#Ultrakill markets itself towards queer people which have a lot of overlap with neurodivergence (including mental illnesses like OSDD/DID)#Autistic and ADHD hyperfixations can lead to newly formed alters in a system pulling from media (since dissociation is a coping mechanism-#-and too much dissociation in early developmental stages leads to dissociative disorders both with and without alters -#- and hyperfixations usually end up being sources of comfort if someone is currently dealing with stressful occurrences)#I'm not entirely a professional but I love psychology (it's one of my special interests) so I may as well ramble a little bit here :3#Classic games (including DOOM afaik) have historically marketed themselves towards a cishet masculine male™ audience#The stuff I've seen of classic game marketing is very “cool guy”-esque and not really “traumatized gay”#I've noticed a lot of Rain World fans end up being fictionkin or systems though (and that also has religious themes but more in a Buddhist-#-than Christian way)#But maybe there's a pattern there? At this point I'm just rambling lol sorry if I'm a little incohesive
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watched a little too much 25 21 this week and @mundanememory’s matteo/jonas got me badddddd
The closet smells like dust and Lysol. It clashes against the gentle bergamot and wood of Jonas’s cologne, Matteo’s favorite of his small set.
“You haven’t worn this one in a while,” He whispers, his voice reflecting in hot breath against Jonas’s cheek. “It’s nice.”
“Mm,” The other man acknowledges. He pulls Matteo in by the waist, further response neglected. Matteo, as usual, let’s him take the lead. Jonas kisses unhurried, moving as if down a familiar road. Soft, casual. Matteo has to be careful to not seem clumsy in comparison– against Jonas’s steady, contained calm it’s hard not to feel gangly, limbs and want spilling out of him like he’s overflowing.
He’s making a conscious effort not to melt too much into the way Jonas drapes his arms around him, carefully monitoring the electricity sparking in his chest as the lovely warmth of the blond’s tongue darts into his mouth. It’s practically routine, but his face still flushes from the way his heart races as Jonas slides a hand up his sweater. Matteo runs hot– Jonas is chronically cold. He’s pictured holding his slender fingers in his own until they reach an equilibrium a frankly embarrassing number of times— an image he distracts himself from by trailing down Jonas’s neck in a tentative kisses, which really doesn’t do much to help. He has to remind himself that they do this in a custodial closet for a reason, sometimes. The ring that bites into his shoulder is a silent reprimand, coaxing him away from the more domestic of his fantasies.
He has to lean down a little for this, and he cups his hands around Jonas’s jaw as he licks softly at the delicate skin of the smaller man’s throat. They both know what comes next– Matteo undoes the metal clasp and zipper of Jonas’s navy blue dress pants in practiced motions and drops to his knees against the rough carpet.
“Wait,” Jonas interrupts, straying from their typical script of wordlessness. Matteo pauses, looks up. “I’m live soon.”
It’s not refusal so much as a warning. He dares a smile. “Okay, boss.”
He works quicker from there, wasting less time with his typical frivolities as he pulls down the elastic waistband of Jonas’s boxers. Jonas is halfway there, and it doesn’t take much work to get him fully hard as Matteo strokes him with a hand blushing at the knuckles. Jonas exhales sharp and long through his nose as Matteo takes him between his lips and begins his ritual. It’s a clandestine dance, both of them practiced at keeping pleasure quiet. Jonas has a hand thrown over his eyes, breathing controlled, steadily regulating the reactions of his body in a way that seems almost natural, thoughtless. It would make Matteo envious if room for such emotion wasn’t taken by reverence.
He works his tongue into the hot salt of Jonas’s dick heavy in his mouth, chasing after the way he bucks his hips forward in seeking for more– of which he is eager to give. His head buzzes with thrill as he hears Jonas’s breaths grow shakier in suppression of the more crude sounds behind his lips. The world shrinks down to just the two of them when they’re together. The rush in his veins is fueled solely by Jonas; his body, his pleasure, his praise. He could ride the high that he gets as Jonas fucks into his mouth and comes with an escaped moan for days. He waits a moment before swallowing and wiping his lips, entranced by the way Jonas’s golden curls fall back into place as he runs a hand through his hair.
Jonas zips up his dark pants. The simple gold of his wedding band flashes in the drifts of light that seep through the cracks in the door. Matteo brings his gaze away and back up to Jonas’s face.
Jonas looks Matteo up and down as he gets up from his place on the ground. “You wore the green tie,” he notes.
“Oh, yeah. People said it looked nice last Friday.” By people, he means Jonas. He was hoping he’d notice again, a little.
“It looks good with your hair,” Jonas says, which makes Matteo have to smother a grin. “Trine told me first. It’s her favorite color. She knows more about what goes with what than I do,” He laughs.
“Oh,” Matteo smiles, a little forced. He remembers his own stilted words clashing against Jonas’s relaxed introductions between the three of them. He likes Trine, really.
“Ah, I’m on in a few minutes.” Jonas taps on his watch screen. “I’ll see you later, hm?”
“Right, yeah. Good luck live, eh, boss?” They both know he doesn’t need it, but Jonas smiles back anyways. He steps out casually, as if exiting any other meeting room. That evening, they’ll see each other at another team dinner and say nothing. Jonas, at least, is very good at pretending. All Matteo does is follow his lead.
#recently been very taken by embarrassingly in love x doesn’t take this that seriously. matteo wants to elope and to jonas this is thursday#coping by calling him boss possibly the most unsexy thing on earth :///#also introducing your long term partner to the person you’re cheating with like 😄😄😄#yeah matteo can Play It Cool he’ll do whatever jonas wants!!! he’s fine about all this for real#ok but i was watching 25 21 as usual and like what if baek yi jin was fucking his boss lmao 😭😭#visions of trainee x senior reporter introducing the younger to a new environment… they’re guiding them through it and watching them begin#to flourish and of course hiding in the closet for a bj. EMBARRASSINGGGGGGGGGG#yeah but. gotta send them on a Business Trip for real lmao#matteo jorgenson#jonas vingegaard#my writing#cycling#also jonas owns 7 of the same pair of pants just all in different colors
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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Okay guys so I know we all lightly tease Charles for seemingly never actually thinking through any of the emotions he ever has but it occurred to me, what if he has alexithymia?!? Between his very obvious ADHD and his apparent lack of ever addressing how he feels, alexithymia would explain a lot actually. I mean even in hell he's saying he needs more time to process how he feels and basically wants to NOT have to think about it in the moment on the stairs. Like that boy has alexithymia. He needs his reflective time Edwin, give him time.
Also also like he never wants to talk about himself, only address other's needs and feelings which is just so alexithymia?? I mean I know it's partly his trauma response but also it's such an alexithymia personality trait too. Alexithymia makes every choice he makes make sooooo much more sense. That and the adhd impulsivity, but it didn't really feel like it was the whole picture. Alexithymia was the missing key
#ive come to this realization and now it is final no one can convince me otherwise#Charles my alexithymia best boy <3#i think he TOTALLY has alexithymia so he needs separate reflective time to understand his emotions#but also he likes to live in the moment and does NOT want to reflect ever if he can help it no thank you that's usually a painful experience#so essentially he never even knows what the hell he feels because of his alexithymia and trauma coping mechanism working against eachother#no WONDER the boy has no fucking clue how he feels#just going through afterlife straight “oh well”ing his nervous system#i love this boy so goddamn much#Charles' adhd and alexithymia are holding hands. Charles' alexithymia and trauma are THROWING hands. that is all you need to know about him#well that and his bisexuality obviously we cant forget that#anyway#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#dead boy detective agency#dbda
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legacies fandom's selective moralizing over the non-white chrs remains so funny like jdksjdks yes i Can "forgive" alyssa for sending away the saltzmans and yes i Can "forgive" cleo for trying to kill hope. it's not hard!
#y'all wanted to deprive hope of bad bitches. for shame.#and in general the Usual tvdu fandom behavior was. el oh el.#'i just can't forgive raf for being mean to lizzie or cleo for being mean to hope or alyssa for being mean to the twins or or or'#that 'how can u guys ship josie with people who are mean to her sister' cope that carried all the way over to s3 like... are u fr.💀#asking for scenes of alyssa being violently tortured then calling for hope's post-birth abortion over 3x08 likedjksjdsk#alyssa chang#cleo sowande
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headcanon that scorpius was a sick child and was in and out of hospital constantly, perhaps related to astoria's blood curse but not directly. his immune system isnt very strong, and everytime he gets sick they're terrified that it's the blood curse but also whatever else it could be, because it's always so sudden and so intense and they call healers over to the house who recommend this delirious feverish 4 year old is hospitalised immediately, and you'd think it'd get easier to some extent because they'd be used to it, but everytime they feel like this is it, this is the time he'll walk in to the hospital and not walk out again
#this headcanon has no purpose im just thinking of scorpius in bed like a sickly victorian child with scarlet fever or something#asking if he'll make it to sunrise lmfao#so then he hates hospitals with a passion#my friend from school was in them constantly he was even a make a wish kid and he can not fucking stand the places so#headcanon scorpius becomes a healer anyway lmao#im sick and this is how im coping by putting baby scorp in hospital lmfao#it just made draco that little bit more protective#lucius made an insensitive comment about it once and draco was ready to throw hands#this headcanon doesnt really go anywhere ive just decided scorpius was a sick child#he has sick child energy lmfao#he still knows some of his doctors/healers because he was there so frequently#just imaging lil scorp in a hospital bed and draco and astoria are sleeping in the room on like uncomfortable chairs and the fever finally#breaks and hes like uh daddy im hungry and its like 4am but draco couldnt care less cause scorp hasnt been able to eat anything for days#let alone ask for food directly and baby scorp is wondering why his parents are acting so damn weird just cause he asked for some toast#but once hes grown up whenever he gets sick its on such a lower level than what it used to be when he was a kid because his immune system#got better that he struggles to gauge when other people would usually stop trying to do daily activities and albus has to start wrestling#scorpius back to bed instead of going to class cause scorpius really youre practically dying and hes like pfff you wanna see dying? use tha#timeturner one more time and go back to see me at literally any point between 2 and 10 i am FINE#(he absolutely was not fine)#scorpius malfoy#albus potter#draco malfoy#hpcc#scorbus#this is so many tags im so sorry
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