#use his money to fly over to australia

[dude-iloveu]

what you mean i gotta look for places to do internship :l

[doomedmoth]

Not fast, just furious

Pairing : Daniel Ricciardo x Reader

Warnings : use of y/n, smau, unhinged behavior, alcohol and cigarettes consumption, kys joke, suggestive texts, chaotic fluff, grumpy x sunshine, lando getting bullied

Synopsis : During his winter break in Australia, Daniel meets a barmaid with a big heart and a bigger mouth. When she starts following him during the races, fans are a bit unsure of how to deal with her unhinged behavior and total lack of media training. Daniel loves it.

Moth’s prophecy💡: Hi friends ! Pls be kind, it’s my first attempt at a smau and I’m on mobile, so the formatting might be weird. Also sorry if your name is Malva, it was the first one that came to mind lol.

[Instagram] yourusername just posted a photo

yourusername Walking in the club like we regulars

Liked by yourbff, melbournemirage and others

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yourbff leaving the club like an overworked mom

Liked by yourusername

melbournemirage our favorite employee 🤩

Liked by yourusername

yourusername wouldn’t mind a raise then 🤪

user1 gorggggg

yourbrother stop drinking on the job bitch

yourusername get a job before judging me bitch

*****

[Twitter] f1.driv.updates just posted

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[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

[Instagram] daniel3.jpg has added a story

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[Messages] Daniel has sent you a text

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[Instagram] wagupdates just posted a photo

wagupdates New wag alert ?? Daniel Ricciardo has now been seen a few times with an unknown woman around Melbourne and Perth during his winter break. At first thought to be a childhood friend, sources say they met at the bar where the young woman is working, and they have been getting quite cozy 👀 What do you think ??? 📸 via Australian celebrity press

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danyfanclub she looks cuuuute

user1 anyone got her @ ???

user2 apparently he been hanging out at melbournemirage so maybe she works there ???

malva she looks messsyyyy, doubt it’s gonna last till the season starts…

danyfanclub stay mad

*****

[Instagram] daniel3.jpg just posted a photo

daniel3.jpg Aussie adventures before going back to vroom vroom

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maxverstappen1 honey come home the kids miss you

Liked by daniel3.jpg

user1 what camera do you use ???

wagupdates do we spy the new girl on the 4th and 7th slide ??? 👀

user2 THANK YOU I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE

user3 sneakyyy

danyfanclub can’t wait to see her in the paddock ‼️

landojpg we missed you at karting mate 🥺

daniel3.jpg sorry, too busy drinking cocktails 🤪

*****

[Messages] Your coworker has sent you a text in Charlie’s Angels

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[Instagram] melbournemirage just posted a photo

melbournemirage Today we mourn the loss of our best bartender, yourusername . She had been with us for a little over a year now, and was the light of Melbourne Mirage, our pride and joy. She always won employee of the month, and not just because she created and awarded the title herself. A gathering in her memory will be held tonight at 9pm, everyone who knew and loved her is free to attend 💔

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yourbff LMAOOOOO

yourusername WHY THE FUCK DO YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE I’M DEAD I JUST QUITTED ???

melbournemirage sometimes we can still hear her voice… 💔

daniel3.jpg don’t worry I’ll take good care of her 😇

yourcoworker you better 🔪

user4 DANIEL ???

danyfanclub finally we have the @ !!!

*****

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

[Instagram] daniel3.jpg has added a story

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[Instagram] yourusername just posted a photo

yourusername last month stuff

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yourbff damn girl, money suits you well 😍

yourusername right ???

malva wow, gold digger much…

danielricciardo thank you for getting Max to fly us around babe 🥰

maxverstappen1 as if I was not offering after every race…

landonorris why don’t you offer me after every race ???

maxverstappen1 you can walk

landonorris TO SILVERSTONE ???

user1 from barmaid to wag, girl is living the dream life

user2 smoking is not cool girl…

yourusername minding your own fckn business is tho

*****

[Twitter] paddockwags just posted

[Twitter] yourusername just posted

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[Messages] my sun 🌞 has sent you a text

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[Instagram] daniel3.jpg just posted a photo

daniel3.jpg Sorry my cat bites, I found her in the streets. She’s a good girl irl.

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yourusername don’t reveal my secrets 🙄 (love you)

daniel3.jpg the world has to know ❤️‍🔥 (love you more)

lilymhe I can confirm the good girl part

yourusername I’ll be the best for you 🥵

alex_albon HM EXCUSE ME ???

danyfanclub ppl love to hate on her because she’s not trained like a nepo baby but honestly relatable queen !!

user1 boy is simping so hard

user2 she looks so fun to be around, finally a wag that doesn’t look fake

malva yeah she definitely got the street cat look…

user3 OMG GET A FUCKING LIFE GIRL

danyfanclub being this salty won’t make him like you go get a grip

*****

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user1 replied to your story :

Did you and Daniel break up ???

malva replied to your story :

fucking finally, so looooong

danielricciardo replied to your story :

have fuuuun, I’ll call you when my plane lands 🐶

******

[Instagram] yourusername just posted a photo

yourusername Back where everything started. I know I sound like a bitch sometimes, but to my love, my sun, my pup, I am so glad I met you 6 months ago. You turned my life around and I can’t wait for more shenanigans with you. You make any place feel like home. I love you. To everyone else, especially those who thought we broke up because I had the audacity to go home two days before him : Fuck you all ❤️

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melbournemirage we were so happy to have you back, even for just a night ! Soon a #speeddating night at the Melbourne Mirage everyone ? 👀

Liked by yourusername

yourusername stop promoting yourself on my account

maxverstappen1 glad to have met you this year bro

yourusername #mates4life

user1 I didn’t know they were so close !!

danielricciardo my love ❤️‍🔥

yourusername my sun 🌞

user2 highway looking pretty good for a nap rn

user3 goooosh they are so cute I’m gonna kms

danyfanclub FROM THE MAIN ACCOUNT TOO ‼️

malva still not buying it

This user has been blocked

yourbrother you did not have to come back so soon

yourusername jeez 🤡 at least pretend to be happy for the gifts you little shit

yourbrother thx I guess

yourusername you’re adopted

landonorris can you bring me back some Tim Tam ? 🥺

danielricciardo no ❤️

yourbff no ❤️

yourusername no and kys ❤️

landonorris damn 🥺

[the-l00ker]

POV: you're me looking at Wilbur Soot "coming back" video, as he explains that he's indeed NOT ADDRESSING ANYTHING AND IS AVOIDING IT COMPLETELY only to be announcing a tour in Australia and a new song like he thought people were gonna be excited about a man who hurt member of the public, admitted to bitting people even the told him to stop, hurt Shelby after she'd withdrawn her consent, admitted to biting Niki Nihachu LIVE and playing it off as "well tell them how horrible I am boo hoo", hitting Technoblade in the arm after his post cancer treatment surgery and laughing about it LIVE, basically screwing over the MCC video production takes because now they can't use him in update videos effectively making the whole event less popular meaning that on occasion less people from charities get money, giving a disingenuous apology, being rude to the people hosting his concerts, stomping on tommyinnit hands TWICE in a video for "ruining his day" / to make fun of him, being egotistical enough to write himself back into the narrative of Dsmp after he died because he basically explained on stream that it wasn't "heading in the direction he wanted it to" and believe it wasn't good enough and most importantly shatter the trust in his ACTUALLY fans that could afford/would go to see him

Because the only fans he has now are 10-15yr old girls who are "ride or die" for any form of man in modern day media, telling people to kill themselves and get r*pe if they initially didn't support their ideologies and who CAN'T EVEN AFFORD TO FLY OUT TO AUSTRALIA TO GO SEE HIM-

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 7/23/24

i woke up at ass o'clock monday morning to find BOTH of my cats sleeping on the bed with me :') temporary peace and love on planet niceys

also read a book where my takeaway was that there are SO many opportunities in the world for evil engineering but not nearly enough for evil puzzle games

listening

my sister sent me ONE instagram reel/screencap of a tiktok and ive been muttering "emergency! emergency! paging DOCTOR BEAT!" under my breath for the past three days. alarmingly catchy remix of this gloria estefan song. this specific video below is pretty close but there are approximately eight zillion versions

-

reading

Dark Wire by Joseph Cox (photo from here, description from the publisher's site).

The inside story of the largest law-enforcement sting operation ever, in which the FBI made its own tech start-up to wiretap the world, shows how cunning both the authorities and drug traffickers have become, with privacy implications for everyone. In 2018, a powerful app for secure communications called Anom took root among organized criminals. They believed Anom allowed them to conduct business in the shadows. Except for one thing: it was secretly run by the FBI.    Backdoor access to Anom and a series of related investigations granted American, Australian, and European authorities a front-row seat to the underworld. Tens of thousands of criminals worldwide appeared in full view of the same agents they were trying to evade. International smugglers. Money launderers. Hitmen. A sprawling global economy as efficient and interconnected as the legal one. Officers watched drug shipments and murder plots unfold, making arrests without blowing their cover. But, as the FBI started to lose control of Anom, did the agency go too far?   A painstakingly investigated exposé, Dark Wire reveals the true scale and stakes of this unprecedented operation through the agents and crooks who were there. This fly-on-the-wall thriller is a caper for our modern world, where no one can be sure who is listening in. 

i really liked this one! cox did a really good job of slowly unfurling the extremely technical details as they became relevant, instead of one horrible infodump near the beginning, and has a real gift for humanizing little anecdotes that illustrate the concept. he's also dryly funny in a very british way, eg the transition between one paragraph describing a very talented olive oil salesman and his lifestyle to how that olive oil processing covered up drug labs with the sentence "But Catanzariti didn't stay with olives; he pivoted instead to methamphetamine." i loooooove reading about how the drug trade gets around customs. i love edge cases and figuring out why things fail. i truly think some of the finest materials engineers of our time are out there trying to figure out how to get cocaine into australia.

this is deeply reported in a way that's very different from a lot of popsci and pop-history books that annoy me: this is NOT a book where it feels like the author is simply padding out a wikipedia page, supplemented with articles he's already written. he's been on this beat since 2016 and it shows: he has quotes from hundreds of people on many sides of the drug war. something i also appreciate is that cox is not automatically, rabidly pro-cop; he does not gloss over the very real tortures and kidnappings and all the other nasty realities of the global drug trade, and frequently shows how much overreach and entrapment took place during this whole endeavor. i particularly liked a chapter where he flipped back and forth from various law enforcement officials assuring him they of course complied with all relevant privacy laws and blacklisted anyone using it for simple secure communications, and lawyers telling cox "no the cops very much did spy on my privileged communication with my clients and i know this because these texts came up in court". also gratifying to read about some cases overturned or thrown out, in the odd case a judge decided it looked too much like entrapment.

i feel like i devoured this book SO fast but it's a solid 352 pages in hardcover. i also had to wait a good two months on the libby holds lists so there is strong interest in this book! good for cox!

how did i find this book: it's austin underscore walker's fault. they used to be coworkers at vice and cox and three others broke off last year to found 404 Media, which has had an absolutely crazy amount of real-world impact for the size (again! four people!) and how long they've been around. rip vice. wish u did better by your people.

-

watching

watched Hercules (1997, dir. Clements & Musker) with my bestie's five year old. i did not grow up with disney movies and don't really have a nostalgic affinity for them but this shit holds up! i like how meg has the silhouette of a greek vase

-

playing

powerwash simulator has a new free DLC out! we get to go to the aquarium and wash some exhibits and wash the research submarine!!! VERY soothing. took me a good solid two hour podcast episode to clean the exhibits.

the temporary summer event in genshin impact is very darling this year-- there are big indie game vibes and unlocking every chest is a little more complicated or has a little bit more story attached than usual. very excited to see if this continues with the next big update that introduces a whole new land.

i also like that they've picked An Art Style to work with-- everything is very toy-like or origami. not that genshin doesn't have a distinct art style, but playing around with something less realistic is fun!

-

making

look im going to have to add a cross stitch update to the morning reblog. the lighting in here is simply Not Good Enough

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

Yes, a rant on liberals (Another one), not only are they using a scare against Trump, but they will also use gashlighing (Or call you a queerphobe… Greetings to all aroace lol) because "You don't care about Palestine" (They tell you what they ignore is that Harris/Biden/Blue Party supplies weapons to Israel, so bravo, mirror propaganda, but looking If you are for Zionists, you know where you got this method from fucking Israel)

And it's funny that they have the audacity to call you a Russian troll, or even better a "Believer in Russian propaganda", when they themselves believe in American and Israeli propaganda… Well, sorry, I'm no longer afraid of Russia, I'm now terrified of fucking Israel and it poses the greatest threat , before we realized how terrifying Israel is, Russia acted as a real fear, but now he looks like a fly in the soup compared to a hippo in a fucking lake (Seriously, what Putin is doing is disgusting, not only is he a xenophobe, a colonizer and a queerphobe, but he is also brainwashing, which does not work as strongly as in the case of Israel , but still, you have to swim through this ocean of propaganda)

Israel is scary because it goes unpunished (And the USA supplies it with weapons…), when Russia attacked Ukraine, people were absolutely disgusted and terrified by it, but when Israel commits genocide, has a law allowing rape in prison, uses pinkwashing (Loved by liberals blue voters) and his behavior shows that he wants to start a third world war (It's not a joke), suddenly people are silent or pretend that nothing bad is happening and it's fucking fucked up

It pisses me off when people are afraid of Russia and remain silent about Israel, which is a million times worse, because it goes unpunished and there is a big difference, the fact that people treat genocide as acceptable because it is carried out by a country from "Pseudo protection of Jews" (Tia. .. With a history of stealing Yemeni Jewish children and killing Palestinian… It's not without reason that I call Israel "A country for white colonizers who profess Judaism but have nothing in common with it"), then suddenly people decide that it's ok, and it shouldn't be ok

Yes, fuck the liberals and their scare against Trump because he is cynical about what is happening in Gaza

Now that I have your attention:

--------------------------------

I bought a new USB cable, so there is less chance of interruption with each pasted link

Seriously, looking for things not on the boycott list is a challenge (And you still catch something by accident and find out after you buy it… Yes, I'm talking about Lorenz chips, the logo was on the other side… Eh…)

The biggest problem is in small stores where most of the products are from Zionist companies, which sucks :/

Sometimes you can look through the packaging and only notice the logo after purchasing… That's what happens to me...

But okay, at least I'm trying… Unfortunately, my sister doesn't care, so well… Unfortunately, that's what it looks like

But here's a rant on chips: Why are most of them from Zionist companies? You have to look for it, but you won't find it anyway…

I know, it's trivial considering what's happening in Gaza, but as I mentioned, there are more Zionist companies in small shops (Fucking Nestle…) than those that didn't support Israel, so you're looking for a needle in a haystack

But yes, maybe this rant will help the collections reach more people, because the problem of reaching them is increasing :/

And the funny thing is (After this rant), my niece bought these cookies from PAW Patrol, right? Apparently there was a storm in the USA, although not as big as the one from MLP, in short, with this link to a certain website, for some reason in Poland these cakes are available for purchase and yes, I know that it is shocking for the USA, but rather children do not enter links from packaging, they just eat the cookies and then the packaging goes to the trash, so only adults enter this link because children don't care

So yes, I'm pissed about this fact, corn cookies (In the USA they caused a drama, but in Poland you can buy them in the KiK clothes store)

But seriously, you can buy them, WTF

But yes, you are relieved after the rant I gave earlier, you can just buy this cookie

(I can add additional tags to make the collections reach a larger group of people)

Remember about clicks

[weirdowithaquill]

Traintober 2023: Day 6 - Special Letters

A Tale of Two Brothers:

When Flying Scotsman left Sodor in 1967, he left behind two things: a number of new friends and a mailing address. Alan Peglar was planning on taking Scott around the world after all – sooner or later at least – and using his owner’s address as a jumping-off point, Scott hoped to be able to keep in touch with his brother and his friends. These letters would forever remain special to Gordon, and the other engines knew it.

“Where is your brother off to?” BoCo had asked one evening, knowing Gordon had just received an envelope. “Apparently, he’s going to America!” Gordon had said, having just listened to his driver recite the letter written by Scott’s crew.

Gordon worried for his brother – and rightly so. Over the next four years of his life, Alan Peglar would drag Flying Scotsman right the way across the continental United States and Canada, tiring the middle-aged engine out and bankrupting himself. Flying Scotsman’s last letter to Gordon in 1972 read as follows:

Dear Gordon,

I’m sorry to say, but Mr Peglar has run out of money. We tried San Francisco, but it was no use. Now, I am unsure what will happen to me. They have moved me to a United States Military Base, and everyday I see large, aggressive diesels growl around. They seem to think that they will be able to tow me off at some stage – and considering that Mr Peglar has had to leave, I worry they may be right.

The United States isn’t all bad though – the people are nice enough. Even the soldiers and sailors sometimes stop to talk to me… but it’s mostly to ask about England, and I never really do have an answer for them. What am I supposed to say? That I miss my home and I miss my brother who you are all keeping me from ever seeing again? The soldier who is writing this for me just looked at me curiously, so now I will have to explain to him who you are. I bet you’re more famous than I am here!

I do hope to make it back to you one day – though it may be a little longer yet. Mr Peglar is unable to pay to bring me home, and no one else has offered to yet… well, apart from one gentleman – but that’s just a rumour. Wishing you dry rails and smooth running,

Your Brother, 4472 Flying Scotsman

Gordon had sent multiple letters in return, each more frantic than the last – but heard nothing from his brother until mid-1973, when Scott had clanked his way from Liverpool to Derby. Gordon was waiting for him, and spent a solid hour chewing out his brother, and then another three crying with relief. Flying Scotsman was his last sibling left, and those letters were the last thing tethering the two together, when a country, or an ocean, or even a continent separated them.

Scott never missed another letter. Not even when he travelled to Australia, during a far more successful journey that saw the locomotive break records and rake in new fans. Still, he took time out of his day to ensure Gordon got a letter, even once begging an old lady in Alice Springs to lend him the stamps necessary.

In the 1990s, the pair switched to emails, though sometimes they still send letters – especially on important occasions. Christmas cards from Gordon to Scott fill the NRM engine shed; Mallard resents them all, but Scott wouldn’t change it for the world. And in return, Gordon gets a birthday greeting from his younger brother every year, the cards and letters all being carefully framed and stuck to the back wall of his berth.

All letters are special, no matter how mundane, simply because they were crafted by one person specially for the receiver.

Back to the Master Post

[samaraannhan20]

Harry Styles Imagine: College AU! Spring Break

A/N: I definitely rushed the ending of this, but I’ve been working on it since my spring break and never finished it so I wanted to give it some type of ending. 

Warnings: fem!reader, college!reader, slight sexual references

“How was the concert last night H?” I ask Harry over the phone as I sit on the couch, browsing netflix and trying to find something to watch. 

“It was good. I’m excited for the last two concerts, one here and the one in Auckland. Plus, you’re on spring break now, which means I can just call you whenever,” he says, and I can tell that he’s smiling, even though I can’t see him. “By the way, I figured you hadn’t eaten yet, because you’re you,” and I hear him laugh over the phone. “So I ordered you some food. It should be there soon.”

“Oh, okay. Sounds good. I didn’t really want to have to wash dishes anyway. Plus I just cleaned the kitchen today. What’d you order me?”

“It’s a surprise. You’ll see when it gets there,” he says, and then he asks me what I’m going to turn on. 

“I’m not sure yet. I checked out some of the Bridgerton books at the library, so I might watch that. Or there’s a new season of Outerbanks to watch,” I say, and then hear something besides his voice come through the phone, and he carries on a conversation with the other person.

 “Oh, darling,” he says when he stops talking to the other person, “I have to go. It’s almost final check time. I bet whatever you pick will keep you entertained. I’ll text you when the show is over, because I know you’ll be asleep by then. I love you.”

“I love you too H. Have an amazing show,” I tell him, before hanging up the phone. I lay back on the couch, and turn on Bridgerton as I relax and bask in the feelings of being on spring break. I don’t even make it halfway through an episode before there’s a knock on my door.  I slowly get up and go answer the door, and when I open it, it’s not the food I was expecting. “Sarah?”

“Hey! How are you?” she replies as she steps through the door, giving me a hug, before making her way to the kitchen because she has a bag of takeout. 

“Good, but what are you doing here?”

“Haz asked me to bring you some take out, I brought your favorite.”

“Oh, okay,”  I say, and sit down next to her as we eat dinner together. We make small talk between bites, and before long we’re done and just talking. 

“Right, well. Time to start packing,” she says as she stands up. 

“Pack for what Sarah? I’m not going home for spring break this year,” I tell her, a little confused about what’s happening. 

“Oh right,” she says around the mouthful of food she just shoved in her mouth. “I’m supposed to give you,” she pauses as she digs around in her purse. “This envelope. H sent it to Mitch and I’s house, with instructions to give it to you.” She hands the envelope to me, and I excitedly rip it open. 

Dear Y/N, 

Happy spring break my love! I’m so glad you get to take a break from your studies. 

Now, I know that you aren’t going home, and that you were planning to use this week to read a bunch of books and take a break from your homework. But I thought “I have the money. Why don’t I fly my love out to me in Australia, and then fly her back to school from Bangkok?” 

So, that’s what I did. If I timed it right, Sarah will be forwarding the email with your tickets to you right now. You fly out *your* midnight tonight. You have three hours to pack and will still make it to the airport with enough time to make it through security with an hour to sit before your flight (just how I know you like it.) Now, get to packing. I’ll see you when you get here.

All my love, 

Your H

“Sarah, what the fuck did I just read?”

“What do you mean? Check your phone, the tickets are there. Come sit down and eat and  I’ll get your suitcase out. Same place as last time?” I numbly nod my head, as I grab my phone and look at the tickets. I’m scrolling through the email, and then I quickly pull up Harry’s number and call him. 

“Hi darling. I’m guessing you got my gift?” he says, rather snugly, when he answers the phone. 

“Yeah I did. Harry, you didn’t have to do this,” I say, with absolute shock coming through my voice. 

“I know I didn’t. But I miss you, and I figured what better time for you to come visit than when you’re on spring break,” he says, and I can hear that he deeply means it. 

“H, I don’t even know what to say. I can’t believe you did this. I’m so excited I can barely see straight. I love you so much.”

“You don’t have to say anything. Just start packing. I’ll see you in the afternoon. I love you too. I have to get back to work now, love.” 

“Okay Harry. I’ll see you soon,” I say, and then hang up. “Got that suitcase out Sarah?” I shout, before heading in the direction of the bedroom. 

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

As I pull my carry-on through the airport, I’m constantly shocked by just how different this airport is from the ones in America. I finally find my way to the baggage claim, and grab my bag as soon as I see it. I then turn around and look for Jeff, because Harry had told me he was going to pick me up. I finally spot him with a sign that has my name on it, shake my head, and make my way towards him.

“Hey Jeffrey,” I say as I get to where he is standing. “Any chance my boyfriend is in the car that is waiting for us?”

“Hi Y/N,” he says with an eye roll, “Nice to see you too. I’ve been great, thanks for asking.”

“Oh sorry Jeffey. How are you? Are you enjoying Australia? It’s so nice to see you. Now, is my boyfriend in that car?”

“Since you were rude, you’ll just have to wait. Here, I can take your suitcases,” he says as he grabs the handles from me. 

“Jeff, if Glenne was waiting in the car you would want to know,” I say to him as I trail behind him.

“Not going to work, Y/N. You’ll find out in approximately 50 feet,” he says with a roll of his eyes as he keeps walking ahead of me. I decide to give up and we walk in silence the rest of the way to the car. When we get to the car, I open up the boot for Jeff, and help him put my suitcases in, not noticing a familiar head of hair in the back seat. I walk around the car to get into the front, and notice Nyoh sitting there. I smile and wave at her, before opening the back door. As soon as I do I’m tackled by a body that yanks me into the car.

“Harry quit it!” I exclaim as I laugh while he peppers kisses all over my face. He plants one right on my lips, before pulling away. 

“Were you surprised?” 

“No, Jeff refusing to say anything gave it away,” I start as I settle into my seat, which was difficult because Harry still had his arms around me. “If you weren’t here he would have told me right away so that I was over it by the time we got in the car. I’ve been around long enough for your team to learn the ins and outs of my emotions,” I end with a laugh, and then realize I still haven't said hi to Nyoh. “Hey Nyoh, sorry it took me so long to acknowledge your presence. I was attacked as soon as I open the door,” I say, reaching around the back of the seat to give her a hug of sorts. 

“No worries. I’m just glad you’re here now. He wouldn't stop talking about when you were getting here, and how excited you were when Sarah gave you the tickets. Hopefully you being here will make him bearable for the week,” she tells me with a laugh, and while Jeff and I laugh in response, Harry pouts next to me. 

“Excuse me for being excited to see my girlfriend for the first time in a month. We haven’t even been able to call and talk that much because of the time difference,” he says, still pouting, as you pull up to the hotel everyone is staying at. “Now, if you don’t mind, we have 5 hours ‘til sound check, and I’m going to spend some quality time with my girlfriend,” he says as he opens the door, pulls me out of the car, and then circles around back to grab my suitcases out of the boot. He quickly leads me through the hotel and to the elevator, and tugs me  inside, and immediately brings my body flush with his. “Now that we’re alone,” he whispers, before leaning down and kissing me.  We kiss for a while before I have to pull away to breathe. 

“H,” I breathe out, “Someone could see.”

“I don’t care. We’ve been separated for too long,” he says, before pulling me back into another mind numbing kiss. Before I have a chance to pull away again the elevator stops on our floor. “Okay, now I’ll take it somewhere private,” he says to me as he pulls me and my luggage out of the elevator.  I giggle as he pulls me down the hallway to his hotel room, and laugh even harder when he smacks my ass as we enter the room. 

“Harry!” I exclaim as he drops my suitcase handles, and simply tugs me to the bed, shoving me back onto it. He climbs onto the bed and hovers over me, trapping my body between his legs. 

“Hi love,” he says, with a shit-eating grin on his face, and then starts to kiss down my neck. 

“Hi Harry,” I say breathlessly. 

“I missed you,” he says, pausing his trail down my chest and lifting his face to look at me.

“I missed you too Haz,” I say, and stretch my neck out to kiss him. 

“Let me show you how much I missed you?” he asks when we pull away, and I just giggle and nod my head. 

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

“Good morning,” I hear a voice in my ear as I start to stir awake in the morning. I feel a smile grow on my face, and I blindly turn my face towards the voice. I hear him laugh, and then he kisses me, over and over again. After a few minutes I shove his face away from me, and lift my body up off the bed. I slide over to the edge of the bed, dragging the sheet with me, and stand up, moving towards the shower. 

“Well,” I say, the first word I’ve said all morning, “are you going to come join me in the shower?” and then drop the towel. Harry laughs, and jumps out of bed and runs towards me, and then shoves us both in the direction of the bathroom. 

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

I’m sitting on the floor in front of the floor length mirror, applying eyeshadow when Harry walks in from the bathroom, after his actual shower that he took after our… shenanigans, in the shower, where he helped wash my hair and body afterwards, before claiming I had to get out or we would have to do the whole thing all over again. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, sitting down behind me and wrapping his legs around my body,  as I use my finger to smear color over my eyelid. 

“The same thing I always do when I do my makeup,” I say with a laugh. “I don't like using brushes for eyeshadow, so I just use my finger. You’ve seen me do my makeup before,” I say with a laugh. 

“Yeah, but never this close. And usually I was getting dressed when you were doing it,” he says, and then leans his head down to kiss my neck, right where he had left a bruise the night before. 

“Harry, I’m almost done,” I say with a laugh, and shove him away. 

“Good. I’ll stop when you’re done. Might want to be quick or you’ll end up with another one of these before we leave,” he says, and then chuckles into my skin. 

“Okay, I’m done,” I say about a minute later, and then scoot forward a little in order to stand up. As I stand, Harry, ever the cheeky boy, smacks my ass and then stands up behind me. 

“Get your shoes on, I want to get coffee before we go to the venue,” he says, and I turn and kiss him before walking over to where my shoes are. 

“You don’t want coffee,” I say with a laugh. “You just know how to keep me happy.” I slip my shoes on and then go to stand in front of the mirror again. “Okay, wait. I have to put a turtleneck under this before we go anywhere,” I tell him, and then slip over to my suitcase, and grab my black turtleneck. I take off my oversized-T, and throw on the turtleneck, and then put the t-shirt back on. “Okay, ready. But can we take a picture in the mirror first?” I ask him, and he throws his head back in a laugh, before mumbling a yes. I grab his arm to wrap around my waist as we stand in front of the mirror and take a picture. I then shove him away and take a picture of myself, to document my outfit for future reference. After I do that, we head out the door, and Jeff meets us by the elevators.

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

“And we’re here,” Harry says as the car pulls into the venue in Auckland. 

“It’s so big,” I say as we get out of the car and I look up at the venue we’re about to enter.  Harry laughs and pulls me closer.

“You said the same thing about something else earlier,” he whispers in my ear, and I scoff, laugh, and push him away from me. 

“Shut up,” I say laughing, and he just reaches out and grabs me again, pulling me into him. He kisses me on the forehead as we walk through the back entrance of the venue, and keeps his arm wrapped around my neck as we walk through. We walk through the venue and make it to his dressing room before too long. He pulls me in and shuts the door. 

“So what do you think?” he asks as he pulls me to sit on the couch with him. 

“Well, so far all I’ve seen is backstage babe. But it is very impressive,” I say, and then he pulls me onto his lap, and I wrap my arms around his neck. “Harry?”

“Yes darling?”

“I’m so proud of you. You’re such an amazing person, and you’re using your talents for good, getting out there and spreading kindness with every word. And you do it without taking more than a days break,” I say to him, my voice cracking and eyes watering the closer I get to the end of my sentence. I take a second to clear my throat and wipe at my eyes before continuing. “Every day I become even more thankful that you chose me to do this with you. I’m nothing special. I’m just a college student. I was just another fan that you happened to come across while she had a panic attack. It could’ve been anyone else.”

“No,” he states, interrupting me. “No. You are special. And it never could have been anyone else. Something put us in each others lives, because they, or it, knew that we belonged with each other. You are not nothing. You have become the sole reason that I get up in the morning. I love my fans, and I love performing for them, but I would give it all up if it was doing that or losing you. You are the love of my life, and I am so thankful that I came across you that day. I love you, so much.”

“I love you too, H. I can’t imagine life without you.”

He leans down and kisses me, before pulling back and resting his head on top of mine. We sit in silence for a few minutes, until a knock comes to the door.

“H,” I  hear from the other side, before Jeff opens it. “Sound check time. Let’s go.” Harry groans and kisses me one more time before getting up and heading out the door. 

〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️

“Do I have to go home now?” I ask as we pull up to the airport and see the plane that is waiting to take me back to America.

“Yes. Spring break is over,” Harry says, kissing me gently and then resting his forehead on mine. 

“How many days until I get to see you again?” 

“I don’t remember exactly. But your plane leaves the day after your last final. And there’s only like four or five weeks left. It’ll pass by before you know it,” he tells me, not letting go of me. 

“I’ll call every night,” I say, looking up at him. 

“I’ll answer every night. Now, I love you. Go get on your plane before I decide you can’t leave,” he says, and kisses me one more time before reaching behind me to open my door. 

“I love you,” I say, not moving, and kissing him again. “Five weeks. I’ll see you in five weeks.”

[cat-mermaid]

I have a Rescuers Down Under theory that I've been sitting on for over 10 years

I want you to watch that movie if you haven't in a while, do you notice something odd about how the main characters, the little boy and the mice, interact?

No?

So for those who don't know, the movie is about two mice who go to Australia to save a little boy and an endangered eagle from a poacher

The mice (and some third guy) spend the whole movie trying to get to this boy

The boy spends the whole movie in the clutches of this poacher, who is using him to catch the eagle

If I were to make two edits of this movie-

-one with only the mice (and some third guy) scenes and no cuts back to what the boy is doing,

-and one with only the boy/eagle scenes with no cuts back to what the mice and the third guy are up to,

-up until the point where the two plots finally meet up and the movie proceeds like the theatrical release,

-they would each seem like their own self contained movies.

(also don't talk to me about the albatross being tortured in the hospital side plot thats just filler and not relevant)

57 minutes into this hour and 17 minute film, the mice and the third guy meet up with the kid. They go "we're here to rescue you!" and the kid simply asks who are you then immediate whips away to yell at the eagle about stuff

He then for the rest of the move proceeds to say nothing to the mice and the third guy, only visually reacting to the things they say and speaking only to the eagle

And at the very end of the film when he, the mice, and the third guy are flying away on the eagle, the boy speaks one last time to his eagle friend but does not acknowledge the mice/third guy or what they have done for him

He never says their names

not once

Friends and Neighbors, I propose to you the following:

Rescuers Down Under was originally a film about a boy named Cody, who goes out and rescues animals from traps, who makes friendz with a giant endangered eagle and then has to figure out how to escape from and defeat a poacher who wants to kill his friend

along the way he teams up with other animals captured by the poacher

with their help, together they thwart the poacher and save the eagle and her eggs

thats it

that was the original movie

it was created to capitalize on two big trends at the time in the 80s: 🐨AUSTRALIA🦘 and ENVIRONMENTALISM🌏

and it was so far along in the production that they even had the dialog all recorded

BUT THEN

at some point during, someone decided hey um shit its the disney animation dark ages and no one is going to our movies, and this kidnaped kid story is a lot like that original Rescuers that came out like 15 years ago or who cares so TURN IT INTO A SEQUEL 2 THAT because Rescuers is our most successful animated film in FOREVER GODAMMIT EVERYTHING ELSE SINCE TANKED AT THE BOX OFFICE

and they fucking rushed and did just that, and then frankensteined the the new Rescuers plot line into the main plot, cleverly keeping the Rescuers (and the third guy) from getting to the damn kid untill almost the very end.

⭐AND AND AND⭐

Because there is so much action going on and no time to stop and chat or anything, they gracefully avoid either characters from having to have a back and forth conversation

that part where they first meet and the kid says "who are you"? Lifted from earlier in the movie when he was talking to all of these guys:

In fact anything that sounds remotely like he might be communicating to the mice or the third guy? These were lines meant to be spoken to the captured animals, who were originally aiding him instead of the Rescuers. I would bet cash money there is a shit ton of cut audio and storyboards somewhere with the caught animals in the climax of the film instead of the Rescuers/guy number 3

In fact I'm dead sure they were supposed to be a huge part of the movie, they got so much screen time, all got introductions and had their individual personalities established and then they and the kid all worked together in this one scene-

-establishing that they can all work together as a team and overcome adversity via cleverness and ingenuity

but then once the poacher comes for the kid and takes him away to go after the eagle? We never see them again or find out what happened to them. Doesn't that strike you as odd? To give these random characters so much precious screen time and then just have them never show up again?

The scene after this shows that the mice/that hopping mouse trying to cuck the other mouse got into the poacher's truck to follow after Cody. Wouldn't it have made sense originally for the captured animals to have stowed away on the truck so they could follow along and help? Just say'in

(also the implication is that with the poacher dead and the kid/mice not indicating to the audience that they're going back to rescue the animals, the animals are going to starve to death. I mean you could argue that its been established they're capable of escaping buuuuuut its a strange story choice to just leave that plot thread unresolved. Its almost like it would all make sense if the animals whole last act was cut out😏😉)

anywayz

Wow this sounds like a huge pain I hear you thinking was it really that hard to be able to go back and get that kid to record like a few more lines with the VA's of the mice?

christ it must have been if they were forced to finish the movie like this

yet another piece of evidence to my theory is the very end, that long still shot of the side of the cliff where that albatross was hiding with the eagle eggs

barely any animation, just his tiny silhouette moving and him talking the whole time

As someone who has watched a lot of animation and seen a lot of weird decisions made because of the constraints of the budget, it smacks not as a fun idea for a scene but out of a OH FUCK WE HAVE TO RESOLVE THAT THING WITH THE EGGS AND THAT STUPID BIRD AND WE CAN'T USE THE ORIGINAL SCENE WE HAD PLANNED BECAUSE IT ONLY FEATURED THE KID AND EAGLE/THOSE OTHER ANIMALS AND WE CAN'T HAVE HIM AND THE MICE AND THE THIRD GUY TALKING AND WE HAVE TO END THIS MOVIE kind of desperation

so

so anyways thank you all for coming to my ted talk and remember that this is just my fun crackpot tinfoil hat theory I only take half seriously

BUT WAT IF

[idsb]

hi im new here can you give a brief rundown of like you lol?? where youve lived, jobs, partners, interests, give me the idsb lore please!!!!!

hi!! sure, I have a lot of new followers and I was just thinking the other day abt this and how my blog is like 70/30 my personal life v Taylor so that must be confusing for new people. so yes! here's the spark notes:

My name is Holly and I just turned 28! I grew up outside of Boston and lived in NYC for ~10 years after I went to art school there. I dropped out of college after one semester to pursue my actual dream of touring with artists. After I dropped out I spent a while willingly homeless in NYC so that I could establish myself & my career there. Eventually it worked & I had been doing freelance photography, videography, graphic design and merch sales as steady income since ~2017. I was in a 5 year, emotionally abusive relationship with my high school sweetheart and finally ended it in 2018. A bit after this, I went to Australia for the first time with my then-friend now-boyfriend (Nov 2018). I've been obsessed with Australia since I was like 5 years old and it was an incredible adventure. I spent about 3 weeks there alone without then-friend, and during those 3 weeks met a Man. The last night we spent in Australia on this trip was Christmas Eve, and said man invited me to have an outdoor Love Actually screening and have a wine picnic with him and all his friends. it was one of the best nights of my life. We hooked up and he singlehandedly cured some sex-related fears I had from the previous relationship and I couldn't stop thinking about it for months. Back in America (Jan 2019) I entered my hoe phase in a never-ending quest for validation and slept with every guitarist I'd ever worked with while meanwhile having a big mental breakdown. Enter a John Mayer vibing man we called the Guitarist here, and a lot of Bad Shit he did to me in his own validation quest mental breakdown (May-August 2019). Clearly my only choice was to fly back to Australia to see the other guy! And I did (September 2019)! Then I was mega depresso when I went home bc my life felt hopeless & I'd already lived out all the hope it had going for it :) I continued my hoe phase and chronicled it via Spice Nights where I’d just answer nsfw asks and give advice for like 8 hours straight. This is waxing over it but it was chaotic and I cannot understate the Depression (Feb 2020).

Then the pandemic happened whomp whomp. I lost all my gigs and posted about it on Tumblr dot com, this blog gained a very large following sort of bc of being a Taylor blog and sort of bc of live-blogging all the drama. ms Taylor Swift saw it and she sent me $3,000 to cover my rent for all of lockdown. a lot happened as a result of that but in the end I realized it was not smart to stay in NYC and spent summer 2020 roadtripping around the US with my then-friend who had first come to Australia with me, who had since joined the leagues of guitar-playing-employer-i-was-sleeping-with (there were 4 in total but I was in loveeeeee w this one). Big Cruel Summer vibes. my friend group exploded partially as a result of my behavior and partially bc they were cunts who didn't care about John Mayer vibe man manipulating me. So then I said fuck it and moved to Montana to work in a national park w guitar guy I Actually Loved who had become my boyfriend at that point, and we lived there until winter 2021. Then I started touring again, got insanely successful, was making more money than most people I knew with salaried jobs and booking work all over the world, my relationship ended over some drama I found out about way after the fact but then we got back together & moved in together (May 2023). Going great. Then I got so fucking burnt out from my job I was like stop the presses I am fucking off to Australia I can't do the music industry and the mega late-stage capitalism anymore. so now I live in Melbourne and am a bartender at a fancy cocktail bar and my relationship is sort of a LDR but I’m going home soon maybe(?) and that is what you missed on Glee!!!!

[celticcrossanon]

Ah Celta. These so called Wales fans have gone crazy crazy. There are some who support eom3n soccer and they are eating their tails about William not going to the lionesss play. They cite Anne visiting Canada on the QT earlier this year, so they don’t see why William can’t go. Where to begin?

No offence to Anne’s fans but where is Anne on the popularity scale to William? I know she works hard and is respected etc, but seriously, there is no comparison. He’s the heir, one of the most popular, and there are big security concerns. Not to mention I suspect this visit has to cleared by the FO, and we sure as heck don’t know if Charles will approve of such a flying visit, literally. He’s a counsellor of state, and Charles may not approve of his visit. Who the heck knows anymore? But these so called Wales fans are behaving more like Charles Stan’s IMO. People are really showing their true colours.

All this argi bargi started as soon as the lionesses won. The minute I tell you. Disgusting.

Hi AnonymousRetired,

I saw the same argument starting even before the semi finals, as 'what if' speculation. My opinion on it is as follows:

Having William fly in, watch the FIFA World Cup Final, and fly out would be a public relations disaster. Such behaviour would clearly give the message that all he cares about is England, and not the Commonwealth realms.

Australia (a Commonwealth realm) and New Zealand (a Commonwealth realm) are co-hosting the World Cup. Both of these countries have William as the heir to their Head of State. He is our future King.

With respect to Australia, we have not seen William or Charles on tour for quite a few years, despite noises made to the contrary. We haven't seen Prince William since 2014 in Australia, and King Charles's last visit was to attend the Commonwealth games, not a proper tour of the country, in 2018. His last proper tour of Australia was 2015. Our last royal tour was the disaster that was Harry and Meghan inflicting themselves upon us, and we haven't had anything since to remove that bad taste from our mouths.

The sentiment for a Republic is strong and growing stronger in Australia, especially as the current government supports that idea.

We have had covid, which cancelled a tour, and then a coronation, and there has been nothing in the way of our new Head of State or his heir coming to visit us. Nothing. People are feeling that our Head of State simply does not care about us, as for all his fine words his actions say quite clearly that we are not important enough for him to visit. Germany is, but we are not. So, quite a few hurt feelings from people who expected to at least be acknowledged in some way by their new Head of State.

Now, into this mess, throw sports. We know that William supports England over the other realms of which he is the heir. It's not pleasant to have him cheering against you, but we know that he does and it is accepted. However, IG posts or tweets are one thing. Having him fly into the country, support a rival team that just defeated us, and then fly out again, is quite another. That would be rubbing it in our faces that he doesn't give two hoots about Australia or New Zealand (which he wouldn't even visit), and that would definitely feed into the growing republican sentiment.

Then there is the travel factor. It is a long way from the UK to this part of the world. To spend all that money and resources and carbon pollution just to watch a game that he can see perfectly well on TV at home - well, it's not a good look for the founder of Earthshot at all, let along giving off 'entitled rich ponce' vibes.

If William (and Catherine, and the kids) had wanted to be present at the FIFA World Cups games, regardless of who won and who lost, then it should have been planned as part of a 2-3 week tour of Australia and New Zealand. We would all love to see him and his children again, especially George, who won our hearts as a baby. Come over here, bring the children, visit the sights, meet and greet people, and attend a few matches as part of the tour - one where England is playing, one where Australia is playing, and one where New Zealand is playing. Attend at least one match in Australia and at least one match in New Zealand. That would be fair and it would show support for us as a country. If he was charming enough, he might even get people cheering for England with him.

A tour with a few FIFA games included would have been wonderful. Flying in and out just to cheer for England is the opposite.

TL;DR: Having William fly in, watch the finals and fly out would be a disaster for the relationship between Australia and its Head of State and his heir. William staying in England and watching the match on TV is far better for the relationship.

Edited for typos (I bet I still missed some).

[33max]

Your Turkey Dinosaurs AU is so so sooo gooood. It makes me want to cuddle with Maxy and Mr Roar and watch UP with them. It's so sweet and really a safe thing to read for me. It makes me feel good and happy and comforted ❤️. Can you write something more about it? Maybe Maxy scared of storms and Daniel taking care of him. Or something with Uncle Michael. Or anything really. Anything is good. Everything about this verse is good and amazing.

Hi! I’m so glad you’re loving the series - sorry it took me so long to write this for you! Also sorry it's a only… a little bit… related to your original prompt! I got carried away 🫣

1079 words, cw for wildfires

“Wait here for a second baby,” Daniel tells Max, leaving him playing with his toy cars on the rug in the living room.

It’s the winter break and they’re spending it on the farm in Perth. It was supposed to be a nice relaxing holiday, so that little Max can spend time outside on the farm, but it’s very quickly gone to shit.

Daniel is stressed and that is an understatement. He locks himself in the bathroom, hands shaking as he fumbles with the lock that he probably doesn’t even need to use. He just needs a moment to think, to work out what to do, to check the news on his phone. He’s checked it like 100 times now, hoping that the story will just disappear. That the news is wrong.

There’s a wildfire blazing less than 200km away, the wind is constantly changing direction, and while the farm should be safe, Daniel doesn’t know.

He’s already text their pilot, asked if they can scramble the plane and fly home at short notice, and the crew are on standby ready to go. The only problem is getting a flight slot. The smoke has stopped some flights, there is a backlog to get through, and Daniel can’t get them a slot no matter how much money he’s willing to throw at them.

He splashes some water onto his face. Think. Think. Think.

He hasn’t lived in Australia for over seventeen years. He’s not exactly prepared for this.

“Daddy,” Max says, knocking on the bathroom door.

“Just a minute, Maxy,” Daniel says, squeezing his eyes shut. He needs Max to be big right now.

“No,” Max says, voice wobbling. “TV says big fire.”

Oh shit. He’d left the TV on, which means Max has seen the news.

Daniel opens the bathroom door, and then immediately holds his arms open for Max to snuggle into. He’s looking up at Daniel with big blue eyes and a terrified expression, but the thing that really hurts Daniel is how Max is looking at him like Daniel can fix this, like Daniel can fix anything. He wishes he could.

“Yeah,” Daniel says, stroking his hair. “Do you think you could get big Maxy out?”

Max is quiet for a moment, but then he lets out a pathetic little whimper and Daniel knows that this is it. Max can’t bring himself up.

“Sorry, Daddy,” Max says, “I can’t do it I’m scared.”

Daniel can’t quite explain what happens inside of him after that, but knowing that Max is stuck small and potentially in danger brings out the fighter in him. There is no fucking way he’s going to let Max get hurt. No way.

He texts Michael.

Then he texts their pilot again.

Michael is at his families place a couple of miles away and Daniel feels fucking terrible asking him to leave them but it turns out he doesn’t need to. As soon as Michael finds out Max is small and terrified, he’s on his way to help.

Their pilot promises he’ll keep trying to get a flight slot and that he’ll call Daniel as soon as he has any news. He tells Daniel that they will be the first non commercial plane out of here; that he’ll be such a pain the arse that air traffic control will end up throwing a slot at them. Daniel suspects their pilot knows about Max, he’s never mentioned anything, but he looks at Max with soft protective eyes sometimes.

When Michael arrives they immediately beginning preparing for the worst. They divide up tasks. Michael hoses down the entire outside of the farm house and the surrounding land, making sure the earth is wet and less likely to burn. Daniel cuts back the grass, reducing the amount of material that could burn and fuel the fire further. A little bit of protection if the fire does come their way.

Max sits on Daniel’s lap on the lawn mower, he’s crying completely silently because he doesn’t want to distract Daddy from the important job. It’s heartbreaking. Daniel drives with one hand and wraps the other around Max’s waist to hold him close. He can’t give Max all of his attention right now, but he can make sure Max has some comfort.

It’s still unclear if the fire will reach them, the wind unpredictable, but the smoke is gathering now. Sitting heavily in the sky and scratchy in the back of Daniel’s throat. That’s how he knows it’s time to go inside.

“Baby,” Daniel says, lifting Max into his arms as soon as they’re inside. Max wraps around him like a koala, holding on so tight, burying his face into Daniel’s neck. “Daddy won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Uncle Michael won’t either,” Michael says gently, devastated that this is happening when Max is small and so delicate.

They sit together on the sofa, Daniel and Michael pressed close together and Max sprawled across both of their laps. He’s sucking on Daniel’s fingers, too distressed for his binkie, only Daddy is able to bring him comfort at a time like this.

The next hour is a blur. Daniel’s phone rings. He and Michael scramble to gather up Max’s plushies. Then he’s driving to the airport, Max on Michael’s lap as Daniel drives faster than he should.

When they arrive at the airport, they’re able to drive straight to the tarmac, and Daniel ends up carrying Max the short distance from the car to the plane. The younger man’s legs and arms wrapped around Daniel so tightly as they climb the stairs. The pilot greets them with a small wave, he doesn’t seem surprised that Max is in Daniel’s arms. He’ll have to thank him properly later.

The moment the plane wheels lift off of the ground Daniel sobs with relief. It’s an overreaction to flee the country, he knows, he could have gotten them a hotel room in the city but. It’s hard. He was scared. Max was scared. He would have done anything to keep Max safe, to get him as far away from the danger as possible. So, back to Monaco it is.

He holds Max close, whispering that they’re safe, they’re okay, that Daddy will always keep him safe. All he gets in return is babbles, the relief of getting away from the danger has dropped Max even younger.

“Oh my sweet baby,” Daniel says, stroking his back and peppering kisses to his cheeks. “We’re safe.”

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

ttwt episode 6

“Last time, on Total Takes World Tour: our remaining players stopped by the charming Polish city of Krakow, but the only charms they got were pain, pain, and no game! Bonnie went a little AWOL when they decided to switch to a nocturnal lifestyle, but that still didn’t stop their team from using them as a personal love coach- again. Albert got some bad news, but it was Kelly who really took the cake for most pathetic episode ev-ah after their non-monogamous ex decided to return to monogamy.... for someone else. Ouch! What does this mean for Kelly? What will become of Team Mojo with their mojo gone? Find out now, on Total Takes World Tour!”

“And here we are fleeing from the Bulgarian police. Pricks,” Patrick says, shuffling his handful of photographs while his team peers over his shoulder. 

“Aww,” they coo as Patrick flips to another Polaroid of Kitty being tasered. “And here we are getting caught by the Bulgarian police.”

“You guys are so cute,” Sha-Mod says. “How long have you been together?”

Patrick stacks the images and puts them in his blazer pocket. “We’re not. We’re more like… business partners,” 

Albert and Michela make fleeting eye contact and then shrug. Across economy, Bonnie yawns and stretches, rubbing their eyes. Max turns to them. “How much did you get?’

“Enough,” Bonnie says, then sighs after Max continues staring. “Two hours.”

“How are we supposed to win with you on autopilot?” he snaps, then lowers his voice to a whisper. “You expect me to carry the team with THESE people?”

He gestures behind him to Kelly, Staci, and Phillip, the latter of which is staring intently at a cockroach on the wall and holding his temples. 

Bonnie sighs. “Fine, I’ll get a coffee,”

---

“This has got to be the best season yet,” Ass sighs as a manicurist paints their nails. “If beating the other teams will be this easy, we might as well move in here permanently.”

“You’d think they have the numeral advantage, but we’re actually doing quite well. I’m impressed!” Courtney adds on. They stretch in their plush, first-class seat and sigh happily as the smell of breakfast wafts in the room. 

Julia watches the interaction and rolls her eyes before sitting back and pulling a sleeping mask back on to catch a few more minutes of sleep She kicks back and Mal slinks into the seat next to her, pulling out an ink pad and stamping her thumb print to an index card. 

“Mal!” Courtney shouts, pulling out a spray bottle and chasing her to the other side of the cabin. 

“It’s for my charity auction!” she yells. “It’s for charity! Well- my charity! These fingerprints go for a lot of money in the Balkans!”

Courtney backs them into a corner and then sighs. Ass rolls their eyes. “Next time we lose, she’s out,”

“I can get behind that,” they take an exhausted seat next to them. “I found her collecting hair from the shower drain the other day.”

Ass shivers. 

Chris’ voice squeals over the intercom, making everyone jump. “Good morning, passengers! If you’ll look out the right side of the plane, you’ll see our next destination- Australia!”

Courtney and Ass peer out their window over a vast expanse of green. “Are you sure we didn’t take a wrong turn again? End up in Austria?” Ass shouts. 

“Nope. Welcome to the rainforest, mates! Now buckle in and gear up, our landing track is a little… um, crowded!”

Courtney looks back out the window to see an overgrown, crumbling landing pad. They sigh. “He’s so doing this on purpose,”

---

Economy class buckles in just in time- seconds after Bonnie figures out the seatbelts in their disoriented state, the entire cabin begins tossing around luggage, garbage, and miscellaneous rats like a salad. 

The teens yelp and duck as clothes, books, and the occasional snack stash fly at their heads. A rat wearing a crucifix necklace latches onto Patrick’s shoulder. 

Finally, after several minutes of bumping and bruising, the plane comes to a stop. Economy groans and stands shakily as Chris laughs like a maniac over the intercom. 

Albert rubs a bump on his head and turns to his right. “Um, Patrick, don’t freak out, but-”

“Oh, please. I’m not a wussy fruitcake like the rest of you,” he says. “A little turbulence is nothing to a sigma like me. Man up.”

“Yeah, okay. You have a rat on your shoulder,”

Patrick turns to his shoulder. He goes pale and shrieks, standing up and shaking in circles, screaming “GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME!” while everyone else watches. Michela rolls her eyes. 

---

Patrick sits in the confessional in the fetal position, sobbing.

---

“Calm down! You’ll hurt him,” Albert says, scooping the rat off his shoulder. “He won’t bite.”

“What makes you so sure?” Max asks, raising an eyebrow. 

Albert holds him away and glares a little. “He won’t have to defend himself if he has nothing to fear,” 

---

ALBERT: "Max is... afraid of me. Interesting. Very, very interesting,"

---

Max rolls his eyes and drifts back over to Bonnie, helping them up to leave the plane. The rest of their team follows behind, then the Mojos. 

Outside of the great metal bird, the teens immediately swallow in the muggy, humid air. Birds chirp, mysterious creatures squawk and the rat on Albert’s shoulder squeaks nervously and scampers back into the plane. 

“Where are we?” Ass finally asks, hands on their hips and eyes lowered. 

Chris, busy picking his teeth with his pinky finger, looks up. “Hm?”

“I said where are we?”

“Oh, yeah. Forgot we were doing that,” he chuckles. “Welcome to the Dandenong Mountains!”

“The what now?” Sha-Mod asks, squinting. 

“Mountain range- well, more like hills and rainforest,”

Mal squeals. “OMG, in the original World Tour, the Amazons went to the Amazon forest, so does that mean that we’re going to the-”

“NO! There’s no Yaoi forest!” Chris snaps. He composes himself and smiles. “Today’s challenge is simple- you’ll be going on an itsy-bitsy safari for some of Australia’s finest- and deadliest!”

The teens shift uncomfortably and look between each other. 

“But don't worry, due to local laws we can’t have you capture any of the wildlife. You’ll be getting these!” he says as Chef passes around slips of laminated paper. “Your cards for species bingo. The first time to reach the finish line with a bingo wins first class- and avoids elimination!”

A bird squawks off in the distance. Team Yaoi looks between each other nervously, as every Mojo turns to Albert expectedly. 

“Ready? Go!”

The teens awkwardly amble off and begin moving through the brush. Team Friendship takes a leftwards path, Max in the lead while Bonnie stumbles behind him. 

---

MAX: “Maybe voting off Scruffy was a mistake. At least they knew how to lead a team of morons,”

---

“Keep your eyes peeled. A lot of these are big, so it shouldn’t be too hard to spot things,” he instructs, handing the team card to Staci. “Don’t lose this.”

She salutes and tucks the sheet under her sweater. Kelly gives her a thumbs up. 

“Y’know, I should be leading,” Phillip says, walking past Max. “I was in the boy scouts, but I had to drop out cause it wasn’t tough enough for a guy like me.”

He trips over a root and lands face-first in the dirt. Max steps over his limp body without a second thought and he sobs into the mulch. 

---

“This place is so cool- like we’re in Jurassic Park!” Sha-Mod says, petting a fern leaf. 

Albert passes by him, holding the bingo sheet. “Let’s hope not. And try not to touch anything you don’t recognize, the flora here isn’t known to be friendly,”

Sha-Mod quickly stands and hurries to catch up with the group. Patrick rolls his eyes. “Please. Afraid of a little plant?” he stops and stands over a shrub. “Oooh, I’m so scared.” 

A spider crawls out of the brush and sits atop the plant. He immediately screams and stumbles backwards into Michela, barreling her over. 

“Ow,” she grumbles, rubbing her shoulder while Patrick rocks back and forth on the ground. 

Albert backtracks and holds out a hand, which she accepts with a smile. He smiles back. 

---

ALBERT: “Okay, so, I lost my job. No big deal! I still have plenty to live for and now that I’ve been f-...f-f… fired- I can finally pursue them. I mean, I would've used the winnings to donate to the coalition, but when’s the last time I’ve taken a day off?” He smiles and his eye twitches. 

---

Albert stops the group in a small clearing to show them the bingo card. “Most of these are pretty easy to find. The spider that scared Patrick looked like a funnel web,”

He huffs and crosses his arms. “You’re welcome,”

“A lot of these are birds, so just keep your heads up. If we had time and gear, we could set up a really nice bird-watching party, but… a hike is just as good a way to see wildlife as any,” he shrugs. 

“You’ve done a lot of hiking, huh?” Michela asks, standing and brushing off her skirt. 

Albert hums and looks down at the sheet. “My dad and I used to do a lot of camping and hiking,” he stands and begins leading the group again. 

“Used to?” she asks, walking alongside him. He smiles sadly and shrugs. “Oh… sorry,”

After a brief moment of silence, Michela takes his hand and gives it a squeeze. Patrick rolls his eyes from behind them. “What a couple of fruitcakes, huh, buddy?” he chuckles. No response. “Um…”

Patrick stops and turns, prompting Michela and Albert to do the same. 

“Sha-Mod?”

---

Sha-Mod walks through the thick jungle with swagger, taking wide strides and whistling to himself. He makes it some steps before suddenly colliding face-first into a tree- sending him tumbling backwards down a hill, into a creek, and then downstream. 

---

“That’s not good,” Michela says. 

Patrick smirks. “Relax, sweetheart. Chris never said we had to make it past the finish line with the whole team,”

Michela grits her teeth and steps on his foot. Patrick screams in pain and whimpers, scampering away. 

---

“OMG you guys, there’s Yaoi on this list!” Mal squeals, holding the sheet to the sky. 

“Give me that,” Ass snatches it back and reads it. “This says YOWIE, you dolt. There’s even a picture!”

“I thought that was just a bear. Someone isn’t well versed on their gay terminology!” she crosses her arms. “Besides, Yowies aren’t real.”

Julia rolls her eyes from behind the two. “But yaoi is?” 

“Duh! We have gay rights for a reason!”

“Can you guys settle down?” Courtney asks, massaging their temples. “I have a really bad headache.” They turn around for a second and a massive spider crawls off their back. Julia and Ass go pale and make fleeting eye contact, then shake their heads. “Let’s just keep going,”

---

“Cockatoo,” Albert says, marking off another item on the bingo sheet. “We’ve got echidna, spider, and cockatoo, but… no Sha-Mod.”

“I hope he’s okay,” Michela says, somewhat nervously. “He wouldn’t leave us alone with… that thing, would he?”

Albert scoffs a little, slightly offended. “The cockatoo hasn’t done anything to you,”

“No. I meant the other thing,” she points to Patrick, who’s busy taunting the plants to hurt him. They both shiver, and then laugh.

---

ALBERT: "Michela is a good person. She doesn't care about what other people think about her, or losing her job and her very reason for existing! I could learn a thing or two. If only it was just us on the team,"

---

“Anything yet?” Bonnie yawns, stumbling over another overgrown root. 

Max shakes his head and moves a branch out of the way for them as they walk ahead blindly. “We might be doing better if we were QUIET!” he shouts, turning to Kelly and Staci behind them, who quickly stop gossiping. 

Max massages his temples. Phillip walks alongside him, covered in bug bites and dirt. “I had a dream that I could control animals with my mind once. I wrote a poem about it, do you want to hear?”

“NO!”

Bonnie yawns again and scratches their head. “Where are we, again?”

He groans. 

---

MAX: “SOMETHING has to be done about this team. Bonnie’s been avoiding everyone because of their- whatever you’d call their thing with Caesar- Staci is too busy gabbing about girls and gossip to be of actual use, Kelly is only here for moral support, and Phillip is basically a pet,”

---

“Look, there!” Kelly says, pointing. Max stops dead in his tracks and looks in the direction they’re pointing. “A fruit fly!”

He slowly sits down on the forest floor, puts his head in his hands and rocks back and forth. 

Bonnie walks over to Kelly and Staci, who are staring nervously. “You broke him,” they say before slumping over and falling asleep on Staci’s shoulder. 

---

“Sha-Mod!” Michela shouts. “Sha-Mod!”

“Is it really such a wise idea to shout?” Patrick asks. “I mean- not for me. But you know, you might attract something dangerous for you.”

“There are no large terrestrial predators in Australia,” Albert says nonchalantly. “Anything in these rainforests that could kill you isn’t predatory towards people, and would only act in self-defense. So let’s try not to antagonize anything else, okay?”

Patrick rolls his eyes. 

---

It’s dark. 

The sound of bugs flying, mammals chittering, and birds crying out fills the empty air. 

Slowly, Sha-Mod awakes. He groans and sits up, scratching his head with his back to the camera. “Owie,” he says. 

Then, it’s bright. Too bright. 

“Wait,” he grabs at his face. The feeling of warm flesh fills the void where smooth paper should be. Sha-Mod ducks to the ground and sees the mulchy, emulsified remains of Lighting crumbled in the dirt. “Oh, no. Oh no. This isn’t good.”

---

Julia presses ahead, swatting at the jungle growth with her arm while Ass, Mal, and Courtney follow behind them. It’s beginning to get dark, the sun setting off in the distance. 

“Guys, I really don’t feel good,” Courtney mumbles. “My head is pounding, I think I have food poisoning or something.”

“Did you eat any of Chef’s scrambled eggs, cause those were definitely expired,” a voice from the brush says. 

Team Mojo walks out of the undergrowth, converging with Team Yaoi. Michela walks over to Courtney and scans them over. “Cramping at all?"

They shake their head. “No cramping, I just feel sick,”

She turns back to Albert, who sighs and begrudgingly steps forward to inspect them. “What are your symptoms? You could’ve been bitten by something,”

Ass and Julia look between each other with wide eyes. 

“Headache, and… I feel nauseous,” they say as Albert holds a hand to their head. 

“Well, you’re not dead yet, so it can’t be that bad,” Patrick says. Courtney rolls their eyes. 

“Do you remember handling any wildlife? Maybe you fell into a bush and startled something?”

“We went through some overgrowth earlier, but I’m sure it’s nothing,” Julia says. “We should really get going, thank you.” She grabs Courtney’s arm and pulls them away. 

The cracking sound of thunder stops Team Yaoi in their steps and Julia grits her teeth as a sharp downpour begins to cover the forest. “You wouldn’t happen to know how to make a fire, would you?” 

---

“You know, we really shouldn’t be doing this. It’s winter in the southern hemisphere, and-”

“SHH!” Ass hisses at Albert. “We are on a survival show. We. Are. Surviving!”

He grumbles to himself and sits next to Michela after she finishes lighting the fire. “I hope Sha-Mod is doing okay,”

“Hey, maybe Team Friendship found him,” she says, tossing the fire-starting sticks into the hearth. “Max would take care of him for us.”

Albert raises an eyebrow. “Would he?”

Julia studies the interaction cautiously as Ass hisses at Mal for getting too close. 

Michela’s expression shifts at the speed of light, and she takes on a new, more annoyed look. “What does that mean?” 

“I mean, I don’t know him, of course,” Albert says, raising his hands defensively. “But he seems kind of… mean.”

“You can say that again,” Julia mumbles, kicking a rock into the fire. Albert nods. “See?”

“Well, Julia deserves it,” Michela says. “But he’s not a mean person. Right?”

Patrick whistles passive-aggressively. Julia rolls her eyes and Courtney avoids eye contact entirely. 

“He seems fine to me,” Ass says. “But that’s probably not a compliment coming from myself.”

“I like his yaoi ships!” Mal offers. 

Michela stands. “Fine, if you’re all so sure, you can stay here on your high horses. I’m going to go find Sha-Mod,”

And then she storms off into the rain. 

---

Staci finishes hammering together a makeshift wooden shelter with a hand-held rock and ducks under it, where Max is crouching in the dirt. Kelly is shivering, and Phillip is scribbling in his notebook. Bonnie is fast asleep on the ground. 

“Well, this is delightful,” Max sighs. “Anyone else enjoying themselves? This is basically a cruise!”

“You don’t have to be so negative all the time,” Staci says, sitting down next to Phillip. 

Max rolls his eyes and pulls his knees to his chest. “How long has Bonnie been out?”

“A few hours,” Kelly says, matter-of-factly. “On the bright side, we’ve got two animals on our bingo card now!” 

He groans and puts his head in his hands. Staci sighs. 

---

STACI: “Okay, admittedly, I haven’t been carrying this team like I know I could. My plan was more to fly under the radar like in Island, and then cruise to the final five. But… if we lose, Kelly might get voted out. They’re not exactly a class favorite right now,”

---

Bonnie suddenly yawns loudly and sits up, rubbing their eyes. “Mhmm… what time is it? Did we win?” they awake and turn from side to side. “Where are we?”

“The rainforest, sleeping beauty,” Max comments dully, flicking a lint ball off his blazer. 

“What? But I have a match in like, fifteen minutes! If I miss a league tournament they’ll kick me off the team!”

Max glowers. “I don’t think that’s the team you should worry about being kicked off of now,”

Bonnie looks away. 

---

BONNIE: “I don’t exactly have a good catalog of coping mechanisms. Avoidance is numero uno,”

---

Michela walks through the thick jungle, staring up ahead at the high canopy. The rain has begun to clear up, but it’s not any easier to navigate through the dark. 

“Sha-Mod? Sha-Mod!” she shouts. “Come on, man!”

No response. She sighs, but trudges on. As she pushes through another overgrown fern, a rustling behind her makes her whirl around. 

“Hey, it’s just me,” Albert says. “I couldn’t sleep knowing you were out here alone.”

She opens her mouth to retort and he quickly holds up a finger. 

“Not that I think you’re incapable of taking care of yourself, this is just a rainforest at night. Not the safest place to be off-trail,” he says quickly. “I have full confidence in your skills. But I also wanted to apologize, I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m sure Max is… a nice person…”

“You don’t have to lie to me,” Michela snaps, walking ahead again. Albert trails after her. “Sha-Mod!”

“He just comes off as kind of rude! And you’re so open, and helpful to everyone…”

“Sha-Mod!”

“I guess I just don’t see it,” 

“Sha-Mod, come on, man! Help me out here!”

“But…” Albert says, catching up to Michela and standing in front of her. She lowers her eyebrows at him. “I could believe that he’s nice to you, at least. You’re easy to be nice to.”

Michela looks away. “Thanks. I guess,”

“I won’t bring it up again, promise,” 

The two make brief eye contact and then hug for a little bit too long. From the brush behind them, Julia squints. 

---

JULIA: “Maybe Max isn’t a totally delusional control freak, after all. There is something going on between those two. But the question is, how can I get this to turn in my favor?”

---

Julia returns to the campfire and takes a seat. Courtney looks up. “Did you find any?”

“What?”

“Water?”

“Oh, yeah. Um, no,” Julia says, leaning back. “Guess you’ll just have to rough it.”

“Great work. Really top-notch survival skills,” Patrick says, trying and failing to carve a stick into a spear. 

“As if you could do any better,”

“Oh, please. I bet you’re really regretting being dumped by me now, huh?” he chuckles, pointing his barely-formed spear at her. “I could do this in my sleep.”

“I broke up with YOU!” 

He smirks and rolls his eyes. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, honey,”

Julia grits her teeth and sits between Ass and Mal, seething. Courtney chuckles lightly, looking pale and sickly. “Says the guy who got dumped here by his whole team,”

“Yeah, and not to mention your losing streak,” Ass rolls their eyes. “Really great ‘survival skills’, Bear Grylls.”

“And, for the record, it was Julia who broke up with you. It’s literally on my Patulia archive blog,” Mal nods. “Honestly, you should be so lucky you got to go out with her in the first place.”

“Yeah, what did you ever bring to the table?” Courtney asks. “Julia is smart, experienced, and a good leader.”

“We would never leave Julia behind with another team. And we hate her!” Ass says, jabbing a finger in his direction. 

Patrick grumbles to himself and half-heartedly tosses his spear into the fire. Julia blinks. 

---

Sha-Mod stumbles through the forest blindly. A large leaf has been tied around his face with a shoelace and, without proper eyeholes, he’s as blind as a bat. 

After walking into the third tree along the trail, he sighs. 

---

SHA-MOD: “Is this the universe punishing me for saying I needed time apart from Takes Three? I didn’t mean to get Joner voted out! I didn’t know I could do that with my mind!”

---

The rain picks up again and he sighs. 

A few minutes behind him, Michela and Albert are walking alongside each other, shoulder-to-shoulder. “I hope he isn’t hurt,” the latter says, scanning the treeline as if Sha-Mod might be up there. “Hey- possum. That’s another one for the bingo.”

Albert pulls the sheet out of his windbreaker and checks off another box. Michela raises an eyebrow and he stares back. “Bad timing?”

“No, no. It’s okay. But I wouldn’t hate it if we lost, I mean… Patrick has gotta go,” she says. “He’s been dragging his heels this entire competition.”

“Agreed. He’s been giving you a hard time,” Albert says, clicking his pen. “Poor Sha-Mod, though…”

The faint sound of a ringing bell catches both of their attention and they turn to each other. "Now?" Michela sighs before clearing her throat. “We should’ve just kept our heads, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“I thought so too, but then we lost Sha-Mod in the rain-for-est!” Albert continues. 

“Now if he goes missing-”

“-We definitely won’t be ‘winnin!”

“Oh, what would we do the-en?”

Sha-Mod stumbles through the foliage just yards ahead, coughing weakly. The faint, familiar dinging of the song bell sounds and he groans. He sighs:

“Lost here, woods are gonna make me boke,

Leaf in my face, get me outta this place!

Going solo was not what I anticipated, probably means I’m eliminated. Yeah, I’m out! Out, oooh, oooh, yeah, yeah, yeah!”

“Sha-Mod?” a voice comes from behind him.

Sha-Mod whirls around and runs through the forest towards the voice, stumbling over roots and logs before tumbling into a warm wash of light. 

When he looks up from the dirt, he sees Team Friendship watching him. Phillip finally squeaks out a quiet: “What happened to you?”

“I-I made it! I’m back! I’m safe, all by myself!” he says, pumping his fist. “I survived alone! I can do anything!”

“Okay, that’s great. Where’s Team Mojo?” Max asks sharply. 

Sha-Mod shrugs. “We got separated. I haven’t seen them since this morning,”

After a long, drawn out sigh, Max finally speaks. “Okay. We’ll find them in the morning,”

---

Team Yaoi (and Patrick) crowd around their dying fire, trying to shield it from the rain. A rustling from the bushes behind them turns everyone’s attention to the foliage. 

“Did you guys hear that?” Courtney asks nervously, looking from side to side with wide eyes. 

“It was probably just the wind,” Patrick says. “There are no large terrestrial predators in Australia. That’s something I knew all by myself. No one told me that.”

Julia rolls her eyes. 

“Maybe it’s Yaoi!” Mal squeals, kicking her legs back and forth. 

“A yowie,”

“I told you, yowies aren’t real, but yaoi is!”

The bushes rustle louder and everyone turns again. A large, ape-like creature jumps from the brush and roars. Everyone screams (especially Patrick) and takes off running into the forest. 

The “yowie” giggles and takes off its mask, revealing a short teenager. Kitty unzips the suit and then runs back off into the forest. 

---

Michela and Albert return to the campfire, wet and exhausted, and raise both their eyebrows at the sight of the abandoned embers and empty yowie suit. 

“I don’t even wanna know,” Michela grumbles. 

---

The sun rises over the mountains in the east, washing a new light over the damp earth. Bonnie yawns and stretches, looking much less pale and sickly than they had for the past few days. 

Max follows after, then Staci and Kelly rise. “Hey- where’s Phillip?”

As if summoning him from Hell, he arrives with his shirt full of berries. “Look what I found! Valuable asset to the team, right?” Max rolls his eyes. 

Through the fog behind him, Michela and Albert walk into the clearing. “And that’s a bingo,” the latter says, marking off kookaburra on their sheet. “Oh!”

Sha-Mod jumps up from where he’d been lying on the ground and throws himself into Michela’s arms. “IgotlostIwassoscaredneverleavemealoneeveragain!” he sobs rapidly. 

“We found him in the woods like a puppy in a wet box on the side of the road,” Max sighs. “Then he ate all our food supplies and scared off our last chances of finding a bingo.”

Sha-Mod sobs loudly in Michela’s arms. “Geez, alright,” she says, then turns to Albert. “See? Told you.”

He smiles and shrugs, then turns away from her to roll his eyes. 

Team Yaoi (and Patrick) come stumbling out of the fog next, all panting and exhausted. Once they’ve caught their breath, Ass whacks Mal upside the head. 

“Sure, let’s make it a party,” Bonnie yawns, then turns to team Friendship. “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

---

The three teams- now reunited- cross the finish line at the exit of the forest, where Chris and the plane are waiting. “Wow, what happened to you guys? You look terrible!” he chuckles. 

The teens collectively glare at him. 

“Well, anyway. Let’s see those bingo cards…” he walks between the groups. “Two for Team Friendship, a full five for Team Mojo, and…. Surprise! Nothing for Team Yaoi.”

The team groans and he grins. “Lucky for you, this is a non-elimination round!”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Bonnie grumbles. Team Yaoi weakly cheers. Ass holds out their hand for a high five from Courtney, who swings and misses, then falls over. 

“Team Mojo, you’ll be enjoying first class,” he says, walking back in front of the groups. “The rest of you will enjoy gruel and grime in economy. See you there!”

Team Friendship groans. “Don’t look so glum, guys. At least I have these!” Phillip says, popping a small black berry in his mouth. 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t eat those if I were you,” Albert says. “Those look like nightshades.”

“So?”

“They’re poisonous,”

Phillip goes pale and spits out the berry, scraping off his tongue and whimpering. 

"Some boy scout," Max mutters.

---

The plane jostles a little, shaking economy. Courtney snores through the turbulence, hanging limply in their seatbelt. Ass mumbles a brief “ew” as Mal drools on her phone, and they scooch closer to Julia, who’s staring ahead intently. 

Bonnie is fast asleep, back to a normal human sleep schedule after their soiree in the jungle broke their bad habit. Kelly and Staci are leaning on each other, snoring, and Phillip is mumbling to himself. 

Max, balancing his head in his palms, blinks slowly, staring ahead out the window into the dark. After a few moments of silence, Julia unbuckles herself and crosses the great expanse from one side of the cabin to the other while the plane shakes. 

She takes a seat next to Max and he sighs dramatically. “What is it now?”

“Calm down, I just wanted to talk,”

“I’m not falling for that again,”

“I’ll make it short,” she smiles. “You weren’t with Team Mojo last night, after all. If I were you… I’d keep a close eye on Albert.”

Max blinks and looks pale. And with that, she walks back to the other side of the cabin. 

---

JULIA: “No, Michela and I aren’t enemies- but we aren’t allies, either. That makes her fair game. I want Patrick gone, and if that means I have to pick off the only player that’s keeping that team together- so be it,”

---

[usafphantom2]

Norway, a member of NATO, is the third country to donate F-16 fighters to Ukraine

Fernando Valduga By Fernando Valduga 08/27/2023 - 09:28am Military, War Zones

NATO member Norway will donate F-16 fighters to Ukraine, Norwegian Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Store said on Thursday amid Kiev's difficult counter-offensive against Russia.

Speaking to the Norwegian news agency NTB in Kiev, where he paid a visit on the occasion of Ukraine's Independence Day, Gahr Store said that Norway will supply F-16 aircraft to Ukraine, but it will probably be less than 10.

Gahr said he informed the president of Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, about the donation of the aircraft and that Norway would discuss the number of planes, as well as the transfer schedule with Kiev and other allied countries.

“But Ukraine can count on the contribution of Norway,” the prime minister added.

Norway would be the third European country, after the Netherlands and Denmark, to donate F-16 planes.

Ukraine has long asked sophisticated fighters to give it an advantage in combat. He recently launched a long-awaited counter-offensive against Kremlin forces without air cover, putting his troops at the mercy of Russian aviation and artillery.

In February, oil-rich Norway announced that it would donate 75 billion crowns ($7 billion) to Kiev as part of a five-year support package, making Norway one of the world's largest donors to Ukraine.

The money will be divided equally between military and humanitarian assistance over five years, divided into 15 billion crowns (1.4 billion dollars) annually.

Gahr Store announced on Thursday that Norway would also donate anti-aircraft missiles to Ukraine, saying that “air defense is critical to Ukraine's ability to protect both the civilian population and frontline infrastructure and military units against any type of Russian air attack.”

“This is one of the largest Norwegian donations of military material to Ukraine to date,” Gahr said in a statement.

The Norwegian government has long stated that it is considering sending F-16 to Ukraine. In January, Norway received the first of the 52 F-35s ordered. The new fighters will replace Norway's F-16 fleet.

Last week, the Netherlands and Denmark announced that they will donate F-16 aircraft. Denmark said it will provide 19 planes, while the Netherlands reported that it will donate 42 of the jets.

Earlier this week, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy visited several European countries, including the Netherlands and Denmark, but did not go to Norway.

Tags: Military AviationF-16 Fighting FalconRNAF - Royal Norwegian Air Force / Royal Norwegian Air ForceWar Zones - Russia/Ukraine

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Fernando Valduga

Fernando Valduga

Aviation photographer and pilot since 1992, he has participated in several events and air operations, such as Cruzex, AirVenture, Daytona Airshow and FIDAE. He has work published in specialized aviation magazines in Brazil and abroad. Uses Canon equipment during his photographic work throughout the world of aviation.

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[wolfiemcwolferson]

if ur still doing spotify wrapped fics, 5 pls!!

This is more Del Water Gap - Alone Together. You didn't pick a pairing, but this is screaming Maxiel at me. This is angsty and a little bittersweet. Previous F1 Journalist Daniel and Driver Max. (This got out of hand.)

Sometimes Daniel is in an airport and he catches a flash of a Grand Prix on a TV in a bar or he'll be out with some friends and he'll run into someone he knew from college and they'll ask hey, I thought you were doing that racing thing and Daniel will shake a little bit.

Sitting on a barstool in LA, waiting to meet-up with one of the kid's on the American USA team, he feels it now, the ache where F1 used to sit - the ache where Max used to sit.

But he gave it all up when Max gave him up and -

The kid shows, fresh-faced and eager and shakes Danny's hand. The article will be good, of course. Daniel charms and weasles and prods at all the right places and that's why he gets paid the money he does - in America, for sports he doesn't actually care about.

It makes him sound so dramatic, he circles back around to thinking of Max that night in his hotel - like he always fucking does when he's alone.

Max working up the courage to ask Daniel out to dinner throughout the entire season - Daniel accepting out of pity - Daniel falling hard and fast and furious and then basing his life around him - the man that was going to bring glory back to Red Bull.

It didn't matter how many times Daniel laughed it off and said don't die while Max was sneaking out of his hotel room and it didn't matter how many times Max and Daniel said it wouldn't happen -

Max went off and needed to play house with some nice girl and Daniel spent three GP's in a row hiding from him and he knew he had to go.

Because Max was the missing piece of him or whatever romantic bullshit he used to think about the two of them - the mirror of his soul, the person who saw the worst in him and loved him anyways.

Because it was the worst in the end. Daniel begging Max not to go and Max telling him he had to just for them to switch positions the next morning. Daniel shouting at him to just fucking go while Max cried on his chest and Max and Daniel shouting the awful bits of hateful shit at each other they had gathered up over a three year relationship -

Daniel puts on his running shoes and goes down to the gym so he can forget forget forget.

After LA, Daniel goes to New York before spending a week in Nashville and then he catches a game in Denver before flying home - to Australia.

Grace asks him four times if he's seeing anyone and then Michelle asks much softer if he's talked to anyone from the paddock lately.

Daniel books an earlier flight to his...well, he guesses it's his home.

There's a cabin in fucking Montana. Everyone had thought it was a joke until he did it - bought the damn thing.

Daniel has a joke about how he had traveled for years in flashy circles, but the truth is that he's an idiot pressing gauze to an oozing wound.

It had been a thing with Max. My contract will end when I'm only 28. I could...we could escape to America. Live in the middle of nowhere Montana, yes? All this money has to be good for something.

No one knows, of course. Someone would have intervened, probably. Scotty. Scotty would have intervened.

He's here until Christmas. Alone and working on the book he's supposed to be writing and - he's here until Christmas and then he'll fly to Hawaii and get ready to interview some flashy American Football College Kid.

He tortures himself and watches the last race of the season - wakes up at 6 AM to flip it on and text steady, ribbing commentary to Sam about his own commentary and Max wins, of course.

Daniel turns off the television before the podium.

He's in town buying a couple of propane tanks and more rock salt and some food. He does have to do that occasionally when Janet asks him you know who bought Gerald's old place? Daniel frowns and shakes his head. Thought it might be one of your fancy athletes. Moving in here because you can't keep your trap shut.

It's gentle, but only a half joke. It took Janet a full year before she would talk to him in more than one syllable answers.

He goes home - works on his book. Ignores the text Scotty sends asking Daniel to call.

Max Verstappen on standing in his driveway, hands shoved in the pockets of a puffy coat at 10:28 on a Thursday. Daniel knows the set of his shoulders and the slop of his face even this far away. No one else will ever look like him. No one else will ever have this kind of intrinsic draw on Daniel's entire being.

Daniel steps out on his front porch, wearing socks and a hoodie, absolutely freezing.

"What do you want, Max?" Daniel hears how exhausted his own voice sounds and he wonders if Max can hear it too.

Max is still walking towards him. "Scotty talks a lot when he's drunk."

Fuck. "Yeah, well. Everything he says is shit." Daniel says - finally talking because Max is at the bottom of the staircase, head tilted up to look at Daniel. "What are you doing here? Where's your car?"

Max shrugs, hands still in his pockets. Daniel hears his coat make that slick crinkle noise. "Don't like to drive."

The pieces fall into place for Daniel now. "Gerald's old place?"

"If you're talking about that luxury cabin down the road, yeah. It's mine." Max laughs at his own joke.

Fucking Scotty. Daniel's socks are wet. "You'd better come inside. You'll freeze to death and Christian will have my head."

Max is knocking his snow boots against the porch and he gives a little dry laugh. "What was it you always said? I was selling my 20's? Well, not anymore."

Daniel spins two steps past the doorframe where Max is. They're too close. Far too close. "What."

"There's never been anyone else, Danny." Max says in that voice. The one that preceeded something that would wreck him entirely. "I know you don't - but, maybe if you still -" He shrugs again.

Daniel sees it there. In his eyes. The love they had managed to carve out together back then - before when Daniel thought love could conquer all, when he wasn't so bruised by the hiding and the secrets and the way they had beaten each other against the rocks of F1.

Before they had become the water that broke on that rock.

"Danny," he says again, slipping a hand from his coat. "I retired last week."

Danny breaks this time, curling his head down into Max's chest and heaving a great big sob.

"I didn't have the courage then," Max whispers into his hair, hand on the back of his neck. "But I think I'd like to have the courage now."

"I'm not moving into that house, Max. It's half haunted." Daniel chokes out in between tears.

Max brings his other hand out of the jacket, wrapping it around Daniel, finally bringing their bodies together. "That is fine, Daniel. I already set up the New York Times subscription for this address anyway. I can do the crossword and you can cook me real bacon now since I am not in training."

Daniel laughs now because it all may change, but damnit if it all doesn't stay the same.

[zahri-melitor]

Back to the Santa Read Along and my next stop is another obscure comic:

Forbidden Tales of Dark Mansion #15

There is something decidedly creepy about reading old horror comics with the Comics Code approval on the front, as your brain goes places that the story does not. Here we have A Slay Ride with Santa, where our opening scene is a hired Santa (Bill Digby) killing a child for her pocket money so he can pay rent, and not what my brain expected from the story set up (CSA). His landlady finds the little girl (who has been hanged – seems an awkward way to go about things but what do I know about child murder) and calls the cops.

REAL Santa is here too, as “Kristopher Kringull” who has a shop labelled “mender of toys”. This toy repair business apparently fools everyone over his blatantly obvious name. I do want to stop here and note that we are once again repairing toys for the unfortunates who would not otherwise get them, like in Superman’s Christmas Adventure 1940. Which, hmmm, is definitely another parable about accepting what you’re given and the Spirit of Christmas is in giving

Bill Digby runs away from the cops and ends up finding Kristopher Kringull’s workshop and sneaking in to hide, climbing into (oh no) the sleigh. I also want to note this story uses the phrase “I’ve gotta a see a man about a dog” to mean “I need to leave; I have commitments elsewhere”, which is fascinating, as I’ve always understood it to be a “Excuse me I’m going to the bathroom/pub”. A quick squiz at things says the general overarching meaning is the former, but it’s pretty much exclusively used to mean the latter. Anyway, language diversion complete, I’m guessing this is some joke bonus.

In terms of Santa – he is VERY delinquent in delivering the presents.

He notes that he better get started as it’s “midnight in Europe and Africa” but to get to Asia and Australia before the kids get up in the morning he really has to hurry! And to that, I would like to point out to Mr Kringull here he might need to travel backwards in time, because even if I’m generous and give him it being ‘midnight’ in the most eastern parts of Europe and Africa (which ranges from 0 to +3 if you count places like Belarus, Tanzania, Kenya, etc), then at Christmas, folks, New Zealand is in +13. The east coast of Australia is +11. Western Australia and China are +8. Japan and Korea are +9.

On my MOST generous estimate of ‘Europe midnight’…The kids are already up, Mr Kringull, as it is TEN AM IN NEW ZEALAND. They’re up in most of Australia because it is between 5-8am on CHRISTMAS DAY. If we use Central Europe, which is probably more likely, then it is 7-10am in Australia, 7am in China, 8am in Japan and Korea, and MIDDAY in New Zealand.

Santa. You should have left 12 hours ago.

Anyway, the sleigh takes to the skies (about half a day late) and Digby falls off the sleigh while they’re flying, clutching onto a rope. Santa does not notice. Digby presumably deserves this for murdering a child. The end.

Next time: some of the Rudolph stories? Maybe 1975 Limited Collectors Editions? We’ll see how I go. Hopefully some superheroes again soon.

[tomorrowusa]

There is "a tiny window" of hope remaining for keeping the climate from spinning out of control. But to keep that window open we need to keep professional climate deniers out of power.

Increasingly severe weather impacts had also been long signposted by scientists, although the speed and intensity of the reality scared some. The off-the-charts sea temperatures and Antarctic sea ice loss were seen as the most shocking. The feeling of entering a new age of devastation was the result of the return of the natural El Niño phenomenon, which has temporarily turbocharged global heating, they said. Another factor was many people being confronted with extreme weather they had never experienced before, as climate impacts began to clearly stand out from usual weather. The scientists were clear the world had not yet passed a “tipping point” into runaway climate change, but some warned that it got ever closer with continued heating.

The scientists also warned that the “crazy” extreme weather of recent months was just the “tip of the iceberg” compared with the even worse impacts to come. In just a decade the exceptional events of 2023 could be a normal year, unless there is a dramatic increase in climate action. Some further warned that the tendency of climate models to underestimate extreme weather meant we were “flying partially blind” into a future that could be even more catastrophic than anticipated. However, a “tiny window” of opportunity remained open to tackle the climate crisis, they said, with humanity having all the tools needed. The researchers overwhelmingly pointed to one action as critical: slashing the burning of fossil fuels down to zero. “Climate science’s projections are pretty robust over the last decades. Unfortunately, humanity’s stubbornness to spew out ever-higher amounts of greenhouse gases has also been pretty robust,” said Prof Malte Meinshausen, of the University of Melbourne, Australia.

There's a relatively simple prescription to keep things from getting worse.

“We need to stop burning fossil fuels,” said (Imperial College's Dr. Friederike) Otto. “Now – not sometime when we’ve allowed companies to make all the money they possibly can.” Others said the world was on “code red alert” to stop fossil fuel extraction and to fight to halt new exploration projects.

The stats are pretty damned clear about what's happening.

The first step in making things better is to stop them from getting worse. A certain political party in the US pretends that climate change is just "politicization of the weather". Making sure these people are not put in power gives us time to work on solutions.

Why Republicans can’t get out of their climate bind, even as extreme heat overwhelms the US

Even as more Republican politicians are joining the consensus that climate change is real and caused by humans, Trump’s inflammatory rhetoric has driven the party to the right on climate and extreme weather. Trump has called the extremely settled science of climate change a “hoax” and more recently suggested that the impacts of it “may affect us in 300 years.”

Even if some Republicans grudgingly admit that humans cause climate change, the influence of their party's Dear Leader will keep them from taking any action.

And if The Donald choked on a triple cheeseburger tomorrow, don't expect the party to abruptly swerve away from its extremist anti-science positions. It's not just Trump himself, it's Trumpism as exemplified by his Mini-Me Vivek Ramaswamay.

Vivek Ramaswamy calls climate change agenda a ‘hoax’ during debate

Here are some of the current "hoaxes" which Trump lickspittle Vivek doesn't want you to think about too much.