#ur kinda. at least for me. giving me reasons to drop it lol

[sapphic-woes]

When. When u get excited by a comment but see it's literally just asking for more.

[lipglossanon]

Hello! I just wanted to let you know that it is 100% not your job to monitor what minors are doing online whether you write nsfw content or not. Minors who want to consume nsfw content most definitely are not going to care about a warning and it is 100% on parents to ensure their children don’t have access to that kind of content. I wish tumblr had a better system for blocking minors from viewing that kind of content, but it’s the internet and I feel like people really need a dose of reality when it comes to the internet. I’ve seen some real vile, fucked up works of fiction online and yours are literally just basic taboo with very, very common kinks that are usually only hot in a fictional setting. I understand everyone has boundaries, but some people truly shouldn’t scour the internet if they can’t grasps that someone that’s not committing a crime (or even writing about minors in the first place because can we talk about how common it is for fandoms to write porn between minors or even minors with adults??) should be able to write a work of fiction. I might come off as overly mad about this but as someone who dealt with sexual abuse from a family member as a minor, I find it crazy when someone starts suggesting that engaging with incest fics or even ddlg fics is supporting grooming or pedophilia. Writing should always be a safe outlet of expression and if people find it gross, they do not have to consume that content. If I was you, I would just ignore it all. You’re not at fault for anyone but *you*. Not what your followers say, not what someone doesn’t agree with, not if a minor reads your work. This is your page and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for writing insanely common smut even if you do want to be respectful. You deserve respect as well and I find it disrespectful that people expect u to be mommy to everyone on ur page.

U don’t have to post this either, I just wanted to rant as well because I’m mad that u had to deal with people making u feel bad about small things like a warning and accidentally using the word grooming in the wrong context when u obviously have 0 bad intentions and are always so fucking kind.

Hi anon!

I know you said I didn’t have to post, but I wanted to reply back to you (and this is the only way to do it haha).

I just wanted to say thank you! 💜 💜 It might seem silly but this means a lot to me! 🥹🥹

You seriously made me tear up cause I really do try to be respectful and kind on this platform; it’s the least someone can give to another. We’re all just people ya know?

And looking back at it now after a few days have passed, I’m still confused (since I don’t even know what was being said about me/my blog) as well as disappointed cause I thought I was on friendly terms with these people. I didn’t even get a chance to defend myself before everyone just dropped me like I have the plague lol.

And to be quite honest, I find it kinda hypocritical to unfollow me for a misunderstanding when most of the mutuals I followed at the time wrote equally problematic/dark content (and I’m not even writing underage or grooming to begin with!).

Like it’s one thing for someone to not follow me for their own reasons; it’s another to tell people not to because of X, Y, Z and it not even be in the correct context cause you’re just cherry picking my asks/posts based on my ignorance.

Also, I’m sorry you had to go through that sort of abuse, anon! ❤️‍🩹 thank you for sharing ❤️‍🩹

I’m moving past it! I’ve blocked/unfollowed anyone who I thought might see my content that was involved (just in case). And any hate gets deleted. I’m honestly doing fine! Just get peeved every now and again cause like why be nice to me up until zero hour and then not even discuss it with me? I mean critical thinking skills are a thing ya know? 🤣 it’s giving Kelso (damn Jackie, I can’t control the weather 🤭)

[linkslastbraincell]

IDK why I have such Strong Opinions about the Hateno House Debate BUT for what it's worth;

my problem with the switch of Link's house becoming Zelda's house is that there's no in-game text I've seen referring to them living together, unless you interpret her saying Link never leaves her side that way, which would work for me, BUT the only thing that's really Link's is at the bottom of Zelda's secret well-lab that I'm pretty sure she mentions is also hidden from Link. I saw someone reference the Champion's Ballad picture in the house, too, but those were also Zelda's friends so of course she'd have it up. So I wish that chest was in the bedroom or main room so it felt more like Link actually lived there-- tbh my presumption was that before totk Link literally slept outside like a watch dog, cause it seems like the kind of thing a feral golden retriever like him would do. Like,they have a twin size bed? You cannot tell me neither of them flail in their sleep. If they both slept in that bed they'd wake up tangled in the sheets each sporting a black eye. And I think it's kinda sad if Zelda just like. Never pushed him to customize his own space. Idk I just want them to actually get to be people between games. ANYWAY all that is to say it doesn't matter because I'm assuming either the devs don't view Link as a character, he's just a guy that gets dropped into the world as an avatar for the player, and/or they want you to make up your own mind. So like whatever live ur zelink dreams! BUT the whole reason I'm writing this is BECAUSE I HATE. THE DREAM HOUSE!! LOL. So I'm like if they lived together, what's even the point of the dream house? I'm guessing the idea was either a) well if you want your own customizable space here it is, or b) if you prefer to think of them as friends, here! You can give Link his own house! But because it's such a big game the dream homes.... are terrible. They're ugly. They're depressing. I'm sticking my poor traumatized blorbo in a bunch of shipping containers and hoping he doesn't worsen his depression with vitamin D deprivation. And the decor is.... awful. Like don't get me wrong, I like the little pre-furnished rooms. But if you're gonna give me a house and a yard that big to customize you gotta give me like. Minecraft or animal crossing levels of customization because the landscaping is depressing as hell. I wanna be able to add windows and pots and tables and gardens I design myself, not buy a room pre-furnished. So, as a non-game dev who didn't break their back making this game and is instead enjoying back-seat designing from the comfort and ignorance of my home pc, what do I suggest? I wish!!! they let us!!!! Add on to the Hateno house!!! Wanna give Link his own space? Add a bed room for him. Add a storage room for his weapon displays. Upgrade the paddock. Add a shrine statue if you're too lazy to go into town proper! I really loved the landscaping of the old spot so the new one feels pretty sad to me (though don't get me wrong, the pond below the cliff he lives on is so cute, I love that spot). I wish we could at least add flowers and a proper pond to the main yard lol. Anyway I hope they get the chance to add more to the dream home if they wind up doing DLC despite their announcement to the contrary, but I understand the game is already a LOT of ideas and they aren't going to touch up all of them.

[blkkizzat]

Hiii babes <33 I'm back with another long message bc i cant shut up so buckle up ig hsjsjs

Not the hand in the panties reading the Naoya fics LMAOOO bc deadass me on this blog soooo…. When i say i had 2 minutes until my morning alarm while i was reading plug!choso and i turned that shit off and went back to reading like, the all nighter was worth it!! It's the weekend so im deadass trying to re-read it again and take it in properly now that im not sleep deprived hehe

FRRRR the nicki quote like deadass im tryna be someone villain origin story LMFAO. Nahhh because it's always the cheating fics or virgin reader fics that are phD level written and i can Not read those personally lmaoooo. I got too much fire in my chart to deal with that bullshittery 😭

No bc why do i kinda love unredeemable reader??? Like yes girl be on ur thot shit AND get the man !!! It's fiction!!! Pop out!!! Istg every time i think of that scene in plug!choso where she humiliates him and its deadass 'everyones watching her but shes looking at you' Like choso is soooooo down bad and MY GOD HDJDKSK like he didnt care what anyone thought he just wanted a lil luvin from herrrr, istg when i read that i was instantly transported into the story and like in chosos pov and i felt everyone laughing around me and staring and pointing, in my lil emo get up while everyone else is in their polos and mini skirts and just like lookin at reader with so much yearning and expectation like bih I FELT THAT!!!! My head gets so cloudy when i think of that scene tbh like i feel like it actually happened to me!! Ngl i think its bc i was sleep deprived so i was already on some loopy shit and i was still thinking about it up until the point i took a nap so i feel like i dreamed i was in the story??? Like i went to sleep w it on my mind and then it played out like a movie 😫 plug!choso indeed bc that fic feel like a HIT

Big yes on gojo being an introverted extrovert. I feel like if he's not careful it can ruin his self esteem too where he doesn't let himself properly be happy or have the things he wants yk?? Like deadass carrying the weight of the world on his shoulder and its more self inflicted than anything. Like NO he doesnt want to swim in pussy, he wants someone to go home to who will make him sweets and give him lap pillows and play with his cheeks and remind him to wash his face before bed!!! Stg im out here tryin to beat the fuckboy gojo allegations by printing out otaku!gojo on printer paper and dropping it off door to door so everyone can read the TRUTH 😔. Im campaigning that ishh

Okay but the bonnet x anime shirt fit is such a vibe too?? That's what u wearing when toji bring home the hitman salary and is like "go get dolled up kali we goin out to eat tonight, n wear them lil black gloves i like" 😚 i can get behind the kalji (??) agenda lmfao. Tbh toji was the jjk character i seen when he first came out bc my shithead ex was a japanese otaku boy but like actually an incel jsjsjsk ANY.WHO! yeahhh i like my 2d men to be virgins bc im on the 'first, last, best pussy u ever had agenda' shrugs they dont call me cherry nonie for nothing!! But toji hot as fuck like id def smash at least once to say i did before hopping over to shiu hehe. But deadass i always do so well with the playboys and the jerks bc i got that 'angel until you give her a reason to bite' genetic. Wise as a serpent, harmless as a dove 😙 but men stay tryin me so the serpent do be takin over sometimes lmfaoooo

Nooo pls its so much fun talking to u like im sorry for clogging up ur dash and this obnoxious ass long ask lmfao!!! I'm prob gonna send another ask so you can reply to that one without my long ass paragraph on ya blog bc u the main star baby 🥰🥰🥰

Hope u enjoy ur weekend!!!! Im all tucked up in bed and bursting at the seams bc plug choso here i come!!!! Again!!!!

🍒 anonnn

🍒 my pookies! Sorry for the delay im just starting to feel like a normal person rn lol. 

Omfg tysm tho, ahhh not you losing sleep 💗😭. Im really tryna make p3 good for y’all so I really do hope y’all will like it lol. I gotta get it over to be beta read soon cause I have two endings and im not sure which one to keep lol, they aren’t different its just where im choosing to end it that is lol.

LOL omfg no fr. Like im a cancer but baybay my mars is in Aries so I don’t take no shit and definitely not from none of these men out here (especially too cause my Venus is in gemini so im already going to be bored of a man lol. Im not gonna sit around and be cheated on lolol). Also omg you into horoscopes too? I love my natal readings they are so accurate imo.

Yeah! Idk I wasn’t event trying to necessarily  make reader irredeemable but I do like making characters with flaws. Not that I don’t enjoy a good fairytale type perfect damsel reader fic (because those give the warm and fuzzies) but I also love the idea that no matter how big a bitch/meanie/etc you are that whatever person you are really supposed to be with will end up seeing past that and inspiring you to bring out the best in you. Like reader in plug choso a people pleaser and dating choso even on the dl was probably the first thing she’s done for herself that wasn’t part of a “plan” to live up to others expectations. Ahh not you dreaming about it, im so jealous (legit never dream about the stuff I write I want to so bad haha). But I’m so ecstatic that it really did connect with people. LOL I remember saying when I made this blog I wouldn’t write angst but I also think I was thinking of angst where the reader gets screwed over.  I really enjoyed putting Choso through hell (lmfao I mean he’s just so babygirl I need to be a lil mean to him, love to see those tears 😫).

LMFAO! Not you spreading the gospel of otaku!gojo. Haha but I feel you. Even as a confident adult who would come off playboy he’s still a big dork underneath that. Which reminds me I have a CEO!Gojo/guest!professor Gojo fic with MBA!Reader. He comes off as a charismatic playboy but he a dork lol. 

“N wear them lil black gloves I like” AHHH I SCREAMMMED. Im wearing the gloves and NOTHING else we aint making it out the house!!! We can just fuck on top of the money lmfao. But I love a gown. I buy all my gowns from this site called ‘miss circle’ and the more casual ones from ‘mistress rocks’. Yasss tho it’s kalji! 

LOL I do like some virgins like otaku!gojo and my lil chosito but I like that Toji a hoe cause im definitely going to be talking to him crazy as hell. “Bring me that dick big daddy slut.”

No it’s okay!! I like talking with you you’re funny haha so drop by anytime!

LOL im in bed too hungover but im feeling better so imma start on plug choso p3, send me good vibes!!! You have a good weekend too!! 💕💕

[crazybiaatch]

!! VENT !!

this is a vry venty post abt my struggles with high school, mental health & family so this is ur warning to only look if u want to see my problems lols

So I'm in my last year of high school rn, finally made it all that good stuff so proud of myself blah blah. At the same time though, I've had one sister get pregnant and move out, a new secret sister move in and we've had to deal with relationships imploding all around, especially my parents who are on the verge of divorce. So I am reasonably (imo at least) stressed tf out. Now my dumbass decided to take Italian for my last two years (so this year + next year until I graduate) but bc I live in the middle of nowhere I have to do it through something called distance education, which is pretty much covid school but if u transferred the day of lockdown, and that makes it a hard course. I was warned abt how hard it was but I was also a cocky lil shit that believed I could breeze through it bc I had Duolingo. I was wrong and now I'm struggling so much that i kinda just want to leave it all behind, and normally I could do this bc my school lets us drop a subject as soon as we go into our last year. Except I already dropped a subject, and we can't undo that. so now I'm stuck. There's three things I could do here that would leave me in school. 1 is fail out of the class, but not my school, which would be me not doing any of the work until they kicked me out of the class, 2 would be begging the school to let me drop it & just not graduating (p much I would attend my other classes but I wouldn't revive our version of a diploma & wouldn't be held back) which may be impossible with how the school is run, or 3, switch out my Italian course with a trade course, the only problem with that is the fact that I would be losing out of the rest of my classes by doing that, plus I would have to do mandatory work placement which is quite litarally getting a job for at least 2 weeks but not getting paid for any of it, and since it's a trade it would be manual labour, which I'm not too excited to do for free.

on top of my schooling troubles and trying to figure out what I should do, I've been depressed. tbf I've been depressed for years, not diagnosed but I've been suicidal so there's that, and last week I sought out a doctor so I can begin seeing a psychologist to deal with my mental health issues.

so the idea I came up with, which I have thought about plenty, is to get a job and drop out. This is the best plan I can see for myself. My family is a long line of drop outs, so even if I asked for help they couldn't give it to me, and I figured that since I'll have a job, my parents will for sure let me drop out, I mean, my sister (who is only a year older) dropped out without a job, so surely they would let me, right?

nope. I've only spoken to my mother about this bc she's the one that saw me having a panic attack over school, and she believes that I can 'push through and do it' and that if I did drop out, it would just put more stress on me and that I haven't thought it through. I have though. I was never planning on uni, so getting my diploma will only slightly boost me compared to the level I'm currently at, I'm trying to get my licence so I can drive myself to and from work, but ofc as a minor I can't order my own birth certificate and my mother has been putting it off for 2 years now, I'm really close to getting a job already, and I've been applying to every job I can in this tiny little town, but according to her, because I'm not going around and leaving my resume nailed to business doors it means I'm not actually trying (keep in mind this woman hasn't applied for a job in almost 6 years & runs her own cleaning business) she also says my dad will never sign off on it bc he doesn't think I'm putting in an effort either, but he doesn't even know what year I'm in or what classes I'm taking so I don't think he would even notice if I was going around like a Mormon and offering my services to everyone. She also bought up the fact that I don't know what I want to do with my life. I want to be a writer. She doesn't know what I want to do with my life. They all thought I still had my dream of owning a cafe from 3 years ago, even though I've told them all how much I hate making coffees. I've even thought about things like taxes and rent, my dad plans to start charging me rent as soon as I turn 18, so I figure a year of working and saving could help with that, and I've helped my mum do taxes for years (plus she's always done my sister's taxes, but I don't see her offering that kind of help to me) the only two things I don't have that are keeping me from dropping out are two things out of my control: a job and a licence. I can't control who hires me, and I can't access my birth certificate. I don't mind that though, I'm still applying places, and I'm more than willing to catch a taxi to my job out of the money I've already saved. I'm old enough that if I went to the school and told them I wanted to drop out, they would immediately start the process, my parents agreeing is the only possible thing that could stop me.

aside from my family, I've also received some mixed messages from my friends. 1 is definitely dropping out, she's also moving, and 1 is definitely staying in school, but there's another. He said he also wanted to drop out, but then when I joked abt dropping out he said it was a bad idea, so I'm getting pulled in different directions there.

I do love school, but the stress is too much. I also understand that working is stressful, trust me I do, but for me it's either Work or School And Work, so I would rather cut down one of the causes of my stress.

I just don't see the point in staying any longer. The thought of my classes sends me into near panic attacks and meltdowns, and I would rather work a shitty retail job that pays the minimum wage than continue in this school. Work might make me more stressed, school definitely will, to a fatal level.

My mother has also taken to telling me I need to just 'get happy' since I've been so depressed and on edge for so long. Clearly the resolution to this is to just smile more instead of talking about my problems or even trying to solve them.

I'm so so sick of all of this. I thought I was just having a bad week last week, but it's snowballing. I don't want to know what happens when it blows up. I'm not expecting to drop out and suddenly have so much free time, or to drop out and only work on weekends. I'm willing to go straight into full time, I'm not expecting my parents to fund me living in their house doing nothing all day, I know better than that, but I was expecting maybe some support, or at least a good reason to not quit school other than just asking me why.

thank you for reading my vent, if you did. these will probably become more common if I can't get out of this damned school. But for now, I'm off do go fill out my DASS21 form so I can get referred to a psychologist 😋♥️

[catboii]

yeah it wasnt too bad & the party was fun !! i slept on my friends bed last night like a kitty cat bc family stuff gives him feels & he forgot i was there so he kicked me in the head when he got up this morning but i forgive him 😹

religious reasons ? im kinda sorta in this religion thats totally not a cult & were not supposed 2 really celebrate * anything * materialistic our bodies are just vessels 4 spiritual energy & we do not reside in this mortal flesh etc etc i have a whole speech im supposed 2 give if im recruiting ppl but i dont wanna recruit u bc u have 2 uh

kill people

& i at least hope thats not smth u wanna do so !!

i cant help oversharing ur so sweet u gimme the happy feels 😺 kinda drop my guard lol ud be a good spy . get ppl 2 give up their secrets ! governments would fall !! lmiaou

friends are great . 4 a while i was kinda edgy & all ' i dont need friends theyll just slow me down & be a weakness ' but the thing is the only friends that MIGHT be kinda in the firing line for revenge or w/e can handle themselves anyway ( they have 2 w me around im a handful lol ) so ! no need 2 worry abt any1 kidnapping them & using them as hostages bc they would kick their ass !

even kinda vague ' were sorta friends ' just bc we talk sometimes are great ! like my mutuals that i actually talk 2 occasionally on here like u i consider u guys my friends even if they dont feel the same idc u guys are my friends it doesnt have 2 be mutual lol

if u ever need anything that i can help with then i am here as a friend & buddy ! altho at that point u would HAVE to admit that yes we are friends it would be rude & mean 2 not after i help u dispose of a body or smth lmiaou jk

hey, a party isn't a bad thing to get up for at least!!! why aren't you supposed to be celebrating though...? i hope you had some fun at least!!!

thank you!!!

oh... don't worry, you're not oversharing. i get it, i really, really do. i didn't have any friends at all to celebrate and have fun with until just a couple years ago..? so i'm really glad that you're happy. and i hope you get to spend lots more time with those important people and new ones too in the future!!!

[agentgumsh0e]

hello!! how are you? i hope ure doing well! i know ur request box is closed but i need to drop this before i forgot so i apologize oh and i love ur writing so much omg its so cute!!

hmmm what do you think about night ride with yoru?? dont u think its kinda cute :) maybe can you make a scenario about it?

thank you and have a nice day!.

night ride (yoru x reader)

word count: 910+

warnings: none

notes: first and foremost, i know nothing about motorcycles lol. secondly, this is written pretending that the very remote island protocol is situated on has a city and that everyone living there is cool with protocol or at least thinks it’s something innocuous. also i headcanon that yoru can teleport with other people if he's holding on to them. that's all, bye <3

it was 1 am, and you were in your pajamas with a jacket pulled around you, following your boyfriend down the hall towards the exit door. he had woken you up with a text that read, ‘be ready in 30 minutes or i’ll drag you out of your bed. you’re riding with me on my motorcycle tonight.’ 

maybe you were still muddled by sleep, but for some reason, you complied.

“are you sure brimstone won't catch us?” you whispered, wary of waking up anyone as you passed through the hall. 

“psh, that geezer?” he turned slightly to give you a smirk. “he won't hear a thing.”

unconvinced, you bit your lip. “what about cypher’s security cams?”

“like cypher cares about what we do. if anyone asks him, i doubt he'll say shit.”

his words did little to soothe your nerves, and he could tell by the way you stayed silent. 

he took his hands out of his pockets and turned around, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “hey. calm it. i've got a gatecrash ready if we need it. besides, what's the worst he'll do? put us in the time-out corner? ground us?”

looking at his hand, you sighed. “i guess you're right.” 

he scoffed, the look on his face saying, ‘when am i not?’

finally, the two of you reached the exit door. you inhaled the crisp night air as yoru pushed open the door. 

“c’mon, put this on.” he threw you a helmet that went along with the bold colors of his motorcycle.

“uh…don't you need this? aren't you the one driving us?” 

he shrugged. “i don’t need it, so i don't wear it.”

squinting at him, you felt that there was another reason why he didn't wear it (besides wanting to seem “cool”): it messed up his hair. 

“you need it if you happen to lose your grip on me and fall off,” he said with a snicker. “with your clumsiness, i think you’ll need it more than me.”

you rolled your eyes and muttered under your breath, “i am not clumsy.”

he bumped you on his way to the motorcycle, and you dropped the helmet.

“you sure about that?”

he ignored your withering glare and mounted the bike, and you soon got comfortable behind him on the leather seat. you put your arms around his waist and molded yourself against his back. 

goosebumps rose on his neck at your breath, and especially at your proximity to him.

he could feel your rapid heartbeat against him, as well as the occasional shiver, and wondered if it was the night’s cold getting to you or if you were feeling the same rush that he did when you were near.

he took a deep breath and said, “hold on tight.”

and that was the only warning you got before you both raced off into the night.

the streets were empty, obviously because no one in their right minds would be awake right now, plus it was a small city. either way, it left the city as your personal raceway. 

it was mostly dark around you, with few shops or homes lit. your only lights were the street lamps to either side that whizzed by and the moon above you. 

despite the wind and the thundering noise of the motorcycle, you could make out yoru’s words as he spoke.

“i should take you to shibuya one day. it's much more lively there. lots of brawls too. you'd like it.”

you laughed, and he could feel the air on his neck. “already planning a future date with me, ryo-yo?”

he tensed at you saying his hated nickname and grumbled, “where’s the nearest store to crash into…” 

the two of you enjoyed the night breeze and the wind blowing around you, carrying your previous anxiety away. the hum of the motorcycle beneath you was comforting, but it was no match for the warmth from being latched onto your boyfriend.

and in what seemed like a blink of the eye, you were back at protocol.

hopping off the bike, you took off your helmet and fixed your wind-blown self. yoru took the helmet from your hands and secured his motorcycle. 

unlike yourself, yoru looked fine. you guessed that's what a lot of hair gel got you.

“wow,” yoru whistled, “you look like you've been in a tornado. is that a bug on your shirt—”

“shut up. you're the one driving at 100 miles per hour.”

he gave a careless shrug of his shoulders in response, flipping out his beloved butterfly knife as if his hair was even messed up. “hurry up unless you wanna get caught.”

with a shake of your head, you followed him inside and continued your banter. 

you absentmindedly passed the main room as you came down from the adrenaline rush of the ride (and the high you got when you were around yoru). though, someone clearing their throat in the adjacent room stopped the two of you in your tracks.

without even looking, it was unmistakably brimstone. “someone want to tell me what you two were just doing out?”

yoru cursed under his breath, the sound quite familiar to you. closing his eyes, he let out a deep breath through his nose. then, his eyes snapped to yours in a second. “hold on tight.”

you did what he said without a second thought. “what are you do—?” was all you could spit out before yoru thrust his arms out and you both were teleported away.

[rotshop]

to be fair fucked up regenerative reader is such a cool and interesting concept that could lead to so much potential so i look forward to seeing you write more abt them some day :DD

goddd yeah . idk i especially love characters who are like comically durable. characters who fail saw traps and live or something idk. adore them so ,,,, i want their gender i wish that were me ,,,

anyway .

main 4 + regenerative s/o who is a little bit fucked up .

[ tw violence, injuries, gore?, read note please !! ]

note ; while i wasn't sure how to properly tw it, please be warned there is talk of not caring about health / well-being of self. s/o KINDA has personality but it's just mostly like. being stubborn.

-You scare the 4 of them. Like on one hand oh cool they don't have to worry about you dropping dead as much but on the other hand. are you ok??? bestie?? even though they know logically you'll be fine they still flinch whenever a lucky agent manages to lodge a knife in your gut or gets a well-placed shot. it especially doesn't help if you're nonchalant about it.

-hank is probably the most outwardly calm about it since he's kinda the same way, he's got his ass handed to him on more than one occasion and yet he's still alive and kicking. they still refuse to let you knowingly do anything that would put you in too much danger, even if you come out fine it's still. bad. they don't know how to explain it (so, most times they simply don't. it's hard to not listen to them with their height and general intimidation no matter what little explanation or reason they give) very well, they just can't help this weird writhing and aching sort of feeling they get at the thought of you being seriously hurt, it's even worse if the thought of you not caring about it all is present. he still instinctively reaches for you and yanks you out of the way before any agents can fire at you. honestly chances are you two kissed for the first time or something after getting into an argument about the topic (will say this applies to most of them lmao)

-chances are you mistake 2b's concern for plain irritation (or some sort of mal-intent if ur a more paranoid type like urs truly <333). which. to be fair.is understandable. where hank shows their concern by eliminating certain scenarios and keeping an eye out for you, 2b scolds you. it's never too scathing (unless you went seriously too far and don't have any real remorse for it, then he will get a little desperate to try and stress his point to you, even if it means being a little bit harsher than he intends to be) but it's still clear he doesn't like you putting yourself in harms way. he tends to be the one to deal with your worse injuries since smaller ones heal pretty quickly on their own (though, he still prefers to look at those and try and disinfect them), so it's safe to say he gets plenty of time to speak his mind. (Not entirely sure of how / where to put this so im putting it here in parenthesis lol ,, but . he does need a good bit of reassurance you're fine, he's seen a lot of the experiments the aahw has had but he's never seen someone quite like you. lot of late night hugs that go on for long periods of time because A) if you're taller then he can bury his face in the crook of your neck and feel / hear your heartbeat a little B) if you're shorter then he just . likes holding you. he knows you can handle yourself but he likes feeling like he at least some kind of ability to help / protect you.)

-dei does his best to not outwardly show exactly how concerned he is- he doesn't wanna put more pressure on you than you probably already have by your own standards n shit. you can still see it pretty clearly since you get stuck w/ him on missions quite a bit, and in some cases you both have to sit somewhere for a little while so you can try and heal a little after pushing too much. always offers for you to lean / lay on him, it feels like the least he can do since he doesn't have very much medical experience and you don't seem keen on teaching him when you're half conscious. admittedly he does freak out if you fall asleep / are especially cold, it makes his paranoid little brain go 'ohhh shit what if this did them in what if they don't get up fuckkk oh god oh god' . he does his best to power through it and just let you sleep or just put his jacket around you but he still clutches onto you a little too tightly (not to mention he's shaken you awake a few times before, he does his best to be gentle but again, grips a little too tightly and he's a little too frantic w/ it). he's had a few breakdowns where you've had to hold him because he's just that scared for you.

-sanford is kinda the same way as dei except he DOES scold you like doc does. not as much but he still gets on your case a little every now and then whenever you come back from a mission where you started to test some limits. also yanks you out of the way in the same way hank does, tends to keep you pretty close to him so he can keep an eye on you if you're especially bad at recognizing / following those limits. also has had to stick with you while you healed on missions sometimes, tends to just pull you into his side and keep you close. unlike dei though !! he does try and encourage you to rest a little (this might just be a me thing but if it helps you sleep too then he will kinda . pet you ? if that makes sense?? he runs warm and he's pretty gentle so it's just nice and tends to calm you down from any adrenaline rush you've got going on.) he however will not . he's too busy keeping both an eye on you and for any other agents / bandits / etc to be able to properly shut his eyes.

[anne-i-write]

moriarty the patriot headcannons pt. 1

| requested by anon: Can you write about all male characters in moriarty has a same look of their  children and hpw many children they want? |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader; sebastian x reader; fred x reader

word count: 2397

pt. 2: 221b boys

a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT WRITE THIS EARLIER IM SO SORRY THIS REQUEST HAS LITERALLY BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS

william: 487 words

with his whole plan to clean the world of the filthy nobles, william never really stopped to think about having children

well, until he met you

you both were in town one day and he saw you fondly watching a child speak with her mother

“i think two children would be nice”

“i didn’t even ask”

“i know, but the look you gave that mother was telling enough”

n e ways he is a simp and he did eventually give you what you wanted

fast forward a few years, you have two children: a boy and a girl

and they look exactly like their father

like,, it lowkey pains you how much they physically take after their father

you wanted to be like “oh they have your personality, but they look just like me!”

no

granted, your son took after you in an emotional sense but your daughter was a daddy’s girl through and through

like she looks like him, she acts like him, speaks like him, she even EATS like him

ok but the men w your children

fred is a freaking sweetheart ok

like he’ll watch over the kids when no one has the time and they love him too so they’ll help out in the garden which you are SO thankful for

tbh they only like uncle albert bc he brings them lil trinkets from when he gets back from london LMAO

louis doesn’t show it, but he absolutely adores your children and makes extra snacks for them at tea time

you caught onto this at one point bc for some REASON your kids would not stop bouncing off of the walls before bed and they told you uncle louis gave them chocolate

and sebastian loves messing w your kids bc,,, sebastian

but he accidentally made your son cry ONCE and he was at the mercy of every adult in the moriarty estate including the boy’s younger sister

needless to say, he watched his actions and words around your children after that

now, william

i’m just gonna say this straight out: most of the men never really thought about having kids (save john and albert)

but when you finally had kids, william had a different outlook on life

like fr,, this man works overtime now trying to get rid of the filth that is called nobles

he doesn’t want his kids to be raised in a world where just because you have more money than another means you get to look down on them

you still instill in them those good morals ofc

he also tries to be very present in their lives since he and his brother were raised as orphans

when he was younger, he didn’t mind it all much

but now that he had this small family and a brighter future, he did everything in his power to make sure they’re happy and grow up in a cleaner and kinder world

louis: 320 words

it took you a week to get him to at LEAST humor you

“if you could, how many kids do you want?”

“none”

like, this guy is so dedicated to his brother and his cause it is a WONDER you somehow wormed your way into his heart

but you did and honestly, the brothers are actually very happy that you’re with them

william especially

louis rarely emotes but when you came into their lives, you got louis pissed at one point and everyone was like,,,, wtf?? he has emotions???

anyways, his answer is one kid LMAO

and when you get that one kid, he looks just like louis

yall already KNOW that he’s ready to die for that child as soon as louis holds him in his arms

the only kid sebastian wouldnt even try to mess with

he can deal with william’s albert’s or fred’s kids but louis lowkey intimidates him so he’s as nice as he can be

that being said, louis teaches his kid how to properly handle stuff around the house

you want to cry bc ur son is just so??? the little kid just loves helping out no matter how small the task and he’s just so cute it hurts

even sebastian’s kinda like,, “aight he’s the only kid i will tolerate”

louis grew up with only his brothers so he also wants to give his son a shot at a normal family

is actually aware at how he thinks he’s indispensable for william’s cause and he doesn’t want his son to end up like him

he also teaches his son some badass fighting moves

oh and louis smiles a lot more too

cried bc his son saw the scar he got on his cheek, rubbed some dirt on his lil face and said “i have daddy’s cool scar now”

all in all his son is the best thing to happen to all of you

albert: 505 words

same as louis in the fact that it takes him a week to answer

“you know you haven’t even answered my question”

“i’m sorry, what did you say?”

“how many kids do you want?”

genuinely takes time to ponder that question

he hadn’t thought of that since his family adopted william and louis

but with you?

“i think two darling girls who take after their mother is enough for me”

pls he’d be so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

you two end up having a girl and a boy, who look just like their father

and tbh, you’re not even mad

you love them so much so when albert comes back north, the three of you are ecstatic

the happiness was short lived for albert tho

he found his son spending time with william and there’s nothing bad right????

“where’s your sister?”

“she’s with mr. moran”

his heart DROPPED

out of all the people in the manor

HIM

he sees the two running around the garden

it all happened as soon as albert’s daughter went up to sebastian and said “you’re very pretty! you’re my knight now!”

he decided to “adopt” the little girl and now he’s lowkey whipped

you found albert staring at sebastian playing with his daughter and updated him about everything going on

“but him??”

“he’s just a big softie for her let it go”

isn’t really surprised when he finds out they can fight a little

actually glad that they can hold their own, God forbid anything happens to them

otherwise mi6 has to deal w family matters lmao

“albert, she only tripped”

“you shouldve seen the fear in her eyes as she fell”

“IT WAS A STRAY COBBLESTONE”

would raise hell if anyone even THOUGHT ill of his kids

william and louis are the doting uncles

william more so than louis bc your kids have never seen louis smile

now they’re on a mission to make uncle louis smile

louis was on child duty one day and they managed to slip away

omyGOD he was stressed but also,, extremely worried

so when he found them he had the most genuine smile on his face

your daughter was like (・∀・)

she loves uncle louis

ofc your son adores his dad like,,, who else wouldn't feel awesome at the age of 10 if you found out your dad was a high ranking general

feels superior to sebastian bc of his dad

lmao this 4’5 kid thinks he can rule sebastian for some odd reason

the house is always dirty bc him and sebastian always prank each other

your daughter is trying to catch a butterfly but she can’t so fred helps

instantly loves fred

“is that what heartbreak is”

“i guess that’s what happens when you try to get close to my kids colonel”

albert is kind of afraid of turning into his dad but he has you and everyone else to remind him that: no you are not your father, you are so much better than him

loves your family with his entire being

sebastian: 844 words

“i see you looking at those kids and the answer is none”

lmao you’ll get so pouty around him bc you want kids dammit

that and he spoils you to no end so that's why you’re pouty lol

“fine we’ll only do one kid and bc one kid is all i can tolerate”

bruh

this man gives you three in four years LMFAO

two boys a year apart and a girl in the fourth year

you wanted to smack sebastian

when the two boys grew up, it was obvious they were already taking after their father in the physical sense

it was terrifying

they genuinely look like mini sebastians and you know everyone in the manor is afraid that you two birthed satan

and the satan was your eldest one

he’s just a feral sebastian moran in a tiny body

your second son, god bless him, looked just like his father but with fred’s temperament

and see, you were fine with your sons looking like their father

it was FINE right

you prayed to God that your third child would have at least some physical resemblance to you

your daughter was birthed, she grew up

and you cried

“HOW DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU”

“i’ve got some strong genetics, baby”

you sulk for a lil bit

but you accept it anyway because you love your goddamn kids

thankfully, your second and youngest child are both soft spoken and it's only your husband and his tiny clone bringing hell to earth

smacking sebastian bc all of your children suddenly started swearing up a storm at each other

“WHYD YOU HIT ME”

“YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO SWEARS AROUND THE KIDS”

finally sitting down and trying to convince them to stop swearing

“father does it!”

“your father’s stupid”

speaking of your daughter

she’s his little princess and no he will not take criticism

spoils her more than he spoils you

did she glance at a toy at a passing store?

he buys more toys than he should from said store

you have to physically hide some of his money bc there is only so much you can buy

and her older brothers are so caring you want to sob

if a person accidentally shoved her over bc she was tiny and they couldn’t see her

oh boy

get ready to restrain them like chihuahuas

“little sister will be protected at all costs”

since his second son is so different from him, sebastian actively makes time to talk about what the little boy is doing and what he’s getting from it

doesn’t want to be pushy and suffocating like his dad was so when his younger kid does want to be left alone to his devices, sebastian does so

but honestly loves that your second son is so literate

lddhsajdsfk what yall dont know is that they’re all in cahoots

kinda funny to see them all together bc they all take after their father so much it's like having three tiny sebastians go around town

anyways,,,, yall know the promised neverland right

you got ray, norman, and emma

granted one of them wasn’t as smart as ray but he definitely knew what stealth was

regular sibling rivalry was still a thing but if they could smell the pudding from the kitchen, they know they have to work together

sebastian caught his eldest smuggling biscuits into a small bag

he had half a mind to scold him

but then he ended up giving tips TO ALL HIS CHILDREN on how not to get caught next time—

bc of this they beg him to tell them some stories from afghanistan bc “there’s no way a man as old as dad knows this many stealth tactics”

louis is so fed up lmao

albert is in london most of the time so he just thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to deal w the propaganda that sebastian feeds his children about how “mr. albert is a bad man”

william is fine w it as long as they don’t trash the library

your younger ones love the library so they would cry at the thought of one of the books losing any of the pages

your second and your daughter are definitely the moriartys’ favorites

they don’t show it, but you just KNOW

your eldest could care less about that though

as long as you and his father still love him

and of course you both do

and fred is definitely your youngers favorite

they like to hang out in the garden

ok they still fight all the time though

just because your second child is soft spoken doesn't mean he’s afraid to throw hands

their sister likes to join in for the hell of it

but if someone wrongs any of the children

just because the younger ones are the moriartys’ favorite, doesn’t mean that they’re not gonna hunt someone down if they even think about trying to hurt the eldest too

yeah,,, good luck to them and their families

they got the entire moriarty estate coming after them

fred: 241 words

cmon yall are like,, young

but you did ask him bc you were curious if he thought about it

he wants one

and when yall do have the kid, you guys actually do have one kid and its a girl

since you both are young, you can immediately see a resemblance between her and her father

everyone who meets her would die for her

ABSOLUTE CUTIE

especially when she walks around the garden w her hand in her dad’s and he’s showing her all the plants and telling her how to take care of them

needless to say she grows up loving plants

any type of plant

the boys love giving her flowers or anything from bc she has the biggest smile every single time

no matter if it’s just a single rose or a rock

this was found out one time when sebastian gave her a rock bc everyone else had given her like,, two roses each

was afraid she was gonna cry

“thank you so much mr. moran! i will treasure this until i get old!”

she was like 4 at the time

and had the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her

guys u don’t understand she smiles a lot but this was like,, genuine happiness

but everyone was just,, i will destroy the world and myself if anything happens to her

fr it’s just sunshines and rainbows every single time she’s around

everyone just loves her ok

moriarty the patriot general taglist: @zoehanji

[fangurk]

She’s Always There (Paul Lahote x Reader)

Key:

Y/n: Your Name

Y/l/n: Your Last Name

Y/n/n: Your Nickname

Y/e/c: Your Eye Color

Y/h/c: Your Hair Color

Prompt Given To Me By @ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhh.tumblr.com: hey!! so the reason I'm messaging is because I wanted to request something but can't fit it all into an ask lmao. anyways could i please request a Paul Lahote x reader where the reader has been super close to the whole pack for years and has been Paul's imprint but doesn't know it (bc Sam thought it would be best to keep u away from it all) and they decide to finally tell you about being shapeshifters and being Paul's imprint and you're so mad about them not telling u earlier and there's a huge argument and they and Paul tries to calm you down but you say stuff like 'leave me alone' and things like that and it sounds like you're rejecting him/the bond in ur angry breakdown. anyways Paul is heartbroken and can't get out of bed or eat or anything so the guys finally convince you to come back bc they and Paul need you and it's just the reader cuddling with him and getting him out of bed to take a shower and eat and he realizes that you're not going anywhere and it's just like healing the imprint bond? sorry for this WALL of text, I've just had this idea stuck in my head for a while lol. if you don't want to do it, that's completely fine!! thank you for your time ♡

ok so my guy,, bc this fic has been stuck in my head for a bit, some scenes have developed? so idk i hope this isn't too much, but if u do write it, would u be willing to add like some angst to it, obvi, and maybe a scene/part lol where when the reader tries to get him to shower (bc the misinterpreted rejection made him like super depressed and he just felt low about himself) he won't shower, because he doesn't want to come out and the reader is gone. so either they shower together (not smutty just angst&fluff) or she sits like in the bathroom while he showers LOL. and when he feels a bit better, they go down to eat and he's touching some part of her at all times. if this is too much to like,, include then that's a-okay. i just need to get this OUT of my MIND ugh lmao!/!

Reader Gender: Female

Summary: The Reader has been friends with most of the pack members for her whole life. Which is why, after months of silence and strange changes, she was willing to let them back into her life— until she finds out she’s been told lies that leave her in danger, of course. After a big freak out and two weeks of avoiding them, the boys come begging for her help; it turns out that Paul has some wolf-y claim on her, and whatever she said to him has left him worse for wear...

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Nudity, Angst, and Cursing.

A/n: this is literally like a whole novel I’m so sorry I got carried away. this is kinda based on a lot of fics I read where the imprint has the potential to really hurt people and I named Paul’s dad.

Word Count: 2.9k+

“The legends are real!?”

Y/n Y/l/n hasn’t ever been so disturbed in her entire life.

After weeks of radio silence, Sam Uley’s little ‘gang’, mostly consisting of people she’d known since childhood, had slowly trickled back into her life. What started as a grocery run with Paul or a movie with Jared had turned into big bonfire parties including Jacob Black and his gaggle.

But that was months ago. Months. And now, as she sits by a fire, surrounded on either side by them, they decide to tell her their little secret?

“Y/n.” Sam says as she abruptly stands, eyes stern and hand raised placatingly.

His actions only served to upset her more and her skin bristles with irritation. Sam was acting as if she, a human surrounded by shape shifters, was the unstable one. As if she could do any damage to things built to kill vampires.

“Don’t you dare, Sam.” She clenches her fists, glaring right back at him. “It’s been months- months- and you’re telling me now?”

“It’s not exactly an easy thing to bring up.” He reasons, voice a little less demanding. “We all wanted to be sure that you were ready to know.”

“Ready?!” Y/n laughs mirthlessly, y/e/c eyes wide with disbelief, “When was I supposed to be ready Sam? W-when one of you gored me? When a cold one ripped me apart?”

Her hands shake as she puts them on her forehead, blinking back tears. Growing up all she’d ever heard were stories of humans getting dragged into fights between wolf and vampire, and she couldn’t bring herself to look Emily in the eye because it was suddenly apparent that wolves alone could hurt people too.

It was so bad, whatever happened to Emily, that they said a bear mauled her— Y/n didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“It’s not like that, Y/n/n.” Embry chimes in, reaching out to grab his friend's arm.

She yanks her body out of the way and gathers her belongings quickly.

“What is it like then, Call?” She holds her bag to her heaving chest, “because it seems to me that you all have the ability to turn into giant, slobbery freaks that are built for killing vampires and, after completely dropping me for weeks, you decided to keep it secret from me for months. Did it even occur to you that I would’ve been better off knowing right off the bat?!”

No one says anything. Eight shifters and two of their girlfriends sit there, just staring at her like she was speaking a different language.

“You know,” Y/n has to clear her throat to steady her wavering voice, “had you guys really been souped-up on drugs like everyone says, maybe I could’ve handled the lying. But my life was clearly potentially in danger, and you let me hang around without saying anything. I- God I don’t want to see you people right now.”

She leaves with that, stepping over logs and storming back down the beach with determination. Faintly over the roar of her heartbeat, she can hear someone scrambling to stand behind her.

“Wait!— shit, sorry-” Paul grunts, jogging to catch up with her- “Y/n-“

With an unusual gentleness, his warm hand wrapped around her forearm. For a moment, deep in the back of her mind, a foreign feeling tells her to stop, to listen; but that small voice is quickly smothered by the rational part of her brain, and she wrenches her arm from his grip.

“Don’t touch me!” She snaps, lowering her voice, “Leave me alone- I need to be alone.”

Paul stands there, dumbstruck, an unreadable look in his eyes as she walks away. And he’d continue to stand there, looking like a kicked puppy long after her retreating form became a blur amongst the darkness of the beach.

“Paul?” Sam is hesitant, hand hovering over the younger boy’s shoulder a minute before he touches him, “You okay?”

Shrugging his leader’s arm off his shoulder, Paul sighs. “No...I...I’m just gonna head home.”

Instead of going in the directions of the cars, the wolf stalks off toward the woods; Emily stands from her seat, wrapping her sweater more around herself as she watches Paul leave. Concern is written all over her features.

“He’ll be fine, Em,” He pulls her in for a hug, “it’ll all work out eventually.”

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Y/n does a good job of avoiding them for a while.

She turns her phone off a few days in and avoids going to First Beach, even when Washington gets a rare, warm summer feel. Books that have sat long forgotten on her shelves get read and TV shows she’s always meant to catch up on get watched; it’s boring and she runs out of options, at one point thinking of dying her hair y/f/c just to spice things up, but it allows her to think. (Or at least it allows this strange little voice in the back of her head to tell her that she needs to go back to them.)

The next time she sees any of the boys is exactly two weeks after the bonfire incident.

She’s curled up on her couch, picking at some of the Clearwaters’ fish fry and barely watching an episode of ANTM, when a fist comes banging down on her door. Turning off the TV, she tiptoes to the window, peeking under the curtain as carefully as she can.

As she expected, Jared Cameron and Embry Call are on her porch, the former standing in front of her door with his hip cocked, the other rooting around in her mother’s plants for something. Cringing, she hopes if she’s quiet enough that they’ll just go away.

Her front door opens within minutes, however, and she realizes her hoping is fruitless.

Should’ve known you can’t hide from wolves, she can’t help but think bitterly.

“Y/n?” Jared calls out through the house, “we know you’re here.”

“Yeah, and you guys should probably move your spare key,” Embry tacks on, flicking the light switch to the living room up, “I've known you forever and it’s still in the same place.”

From her spot by the window, the y/h/c haired girl glares at the two boys, arms crossed over her chest. Embry gives her a lopsided grin and holds the key out to her, his bud plopping down on the couch and pulling her abandoned plate into his lap.

Y/n extends a hand to take the key.

“Has it really been in the same place?” She sounds a little more defeated than she’d like.

“Yeah, it’s always been in your mother’s cornflower pot.”

“That’s...kinda sad.” She wrinkles her nose, pocketing the key with the intention to hide it better later, “but uh, I’ve been ignoring you for two weeks for a reason. Peacefully breaking into my house kinda furthers my need for space.”

Embry scratches the back of his neck.

“Well,” He says, “we need you to come back, man. Paul won’t talk to anyone- Sam doesn’t know if he’s eating, and he won’t even get out of bed for patrol! He needs his imprint-”

“His what?” She cocks her head to the side and Jared snorts from the couch.

“She left before we got there, nimrod,” Jared mocks through a mouthful of food, “she doesn’t know what an imprint is.”

He lets out an indignant “Hey!” as Y/n walks by, snatching her plate back from him on her way to the kitchen. Embry chases after her, a grumpy Jared jumping up from the couch to follow.

“You’re his imprint— you’re basically his soulmate!”

“Really?” She says warily, sealing the fish and putting it back in the fridge.

Both boys nod clumsily.

“You remember a few weeks ago when you saw each other for the first time again and he kinda just stood there like an idiot while you talked?”

“Yeah? Oh!-” She brings her hands up to her mouth, brows furrowed as she recalls.

It was exactly Jared had said. She and Paul had seen one another for the first time in a long time and the minute her y/e/c eyes looked into his, it was like he’d been struck dumb.

Embry gives her an encouraging look, “An imprint is...It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like… gravity moves… suddenly. It's not the earth holding you here anymore, she does… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend. When you snapped at him last week he thought you were rejecting him….”

A part of her thought about how absurd it was that he knew that whole speech. But the bigger part of her came to a realization that made her stomach churn.

“So he's all depressed… because… of me?” She whispers, leaning back on the counter.

Embry, always a rather sympathetic person, opens his mouth to comfort her, but Jared cuts him off.

“Basically. So are you going to come with us so we can help Paul or are you going to continue being petty?”

In any other circumstance, Y/n probably would’ve thrown something at her for calling her petty. She felt she was completely justified in her actions. A part of her wonders if she can really believe them— they’d spent months lying to her after all. But a larger part thinks about Paul, curled up in his bed, slowly desecrating because he thinks she rejected him.

If it were really all some ploy to get her to listen to them, then she’d at least be the person who chose the well-being of her friend over a petty disagreement.

“I’m coming.” She affirms, pushing herself off the counter, and letting the boys lead her to the car.

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

Jared and Embry drop her off in front of the Lahote household. They tell her something but she can’t really hear them over her heartbeat, she doesn’t even know they’re gone until it’s too late to turn back.

Getting into the house wasn’t the hard part. Paul’s father, Cyrus, had been leaving as she arrived, and, after he watched her stare at the house with a fearful expression for a few minutes, he happily let her in. The hard part was willing her legs to take her up the stairs to Paul’s room, and then it was opening his bedroom door.

Y/n has known Paul since they were eight, but she was afraid of him until they were eleven. He wasn’t mean, per se, but his anger made him do mean things; she wasn’t entirely happy with puberty and it’s monthly gifts, but whatever it did to make her suddenly un-afraid of him she was grateful for. But now, standing in front of his bedroom door, she had a nagging fear that Paul would revert to that eight year old boy who threw lunch boxes and twisted arms behind backs until people cried.

The door creaks slightly as she struggles to push it open.

His room is almost completely dark except for the light coming from the hallway behind her. Trash and dirty clothes have formed a compact layer on his bedroom floor, foot sized holes leading up to the twin sized bed in the corner. On the bed, amongst the blankets she’s sure he doesn’t need, is Paul— or at least, a Paul sized lump.

As gross as it is, she’s kind of relieved he’s been eating.

“Paul?” She whispers tentatively, stepping toward the bed.

The lump flinches and turns toward her.

“Y/n?”

If the room and the description of his state weren’t heartbreaking enough, his voice definitely was. Hollow, rough, and small, everything it never was, everything Paul wasn’t.

“Is that you?”

“Yeah...it’s me..”

She carefully steps over to the bed, and Paul slowly sits up, pushing his blankets to the side. There’s a beat of silence as she stands between his legs, his reluctant hands coming to rest on her waist after a minute. Y/n let’s him have another to gather his thoughts.

“You really came…” Tears well up in his eyes and loops his arms around her back.

She runs a hand through his hair. “I did, and I’m so sorry, if I had known—”

Paul nuzzles her stomach, “S’fine, you didn’t know, and you’re here now.”

There’s a sort of cute, euphoria lacing his voice and he’s visibly much more relaxed.

“Just don’t ever say that again…”

“I won’t, I promise.”

She’s surprised when he manhandles her into his lap, but she doesn’t really mind. He’s warm and strangely familiar and something about it just— clicks.

“When was the last time you spent, I dunno, a minute or two out of your room?” Y/n asks softly, y/e/c eyes glancing about the room.

The shifter’s only response is a shrug, too busy nosing around her neck with vigor. When he finds a certain spot, it makes her squeak, and this seems to excite him like a puppy finding out its favorite toy makes noise.

“You need to bathe, eat something substantial,” She intertwines their fingers, “and the...pack...they’re really worried about you— are you even listening to me?”

He looks up at her then and flashes her a sheepish smile, answering her question. Pursing her lips, she pulls his arms from around her.

“C’mon, Paul.” She stands up and takes his hand. “We’re gonna get you cleaned up.”

She moves toward the door, urging him forward, only to be jerked to a stop as he stays put. He looks a little distressed when she turns back to him, brows furrowed, almost like he’s in pain.

“Paul?”

He grunts, jaw clenched as the cogs turn in his head. Y/n cocks her head and reaches out for his other hand. It felt like some sort of supernatural intuition, one she’ll blame on the imprint and ask Emily about later.

“Paul, hon, why won’t you come shower?”

“I’m afraid you'll leave,” He says bashfully, “it’s stupid, I know, but part of me is afraid you’ll leave while I’m in the shower.”

Y/n couldn’t help but feel a little heartbroken at his confession. Paul was part wolf, and part of being part wolf was imprinting— she almost wishes she’d have stayed long enough to listen, or been able to focus as the boys debriefed her on the ride over because only being able to speculate how much she’d actually hurt him was eating her alive. He wouldn’t even shower, something he desperately needed to do, because of what she’d said.

Taking a deep breath, she barely registers the words she’s about to say.

“I’ll wait with you, I’ll sit on the toilet, you’ll see me there.”

And true to her word, Y/n does sit on the toilet while Paul showers, reading the information on soap bottles to distract herself from the fact that he was there next to her, very naked. Occasionally he asks her what she’s doing, and she reads the ingredients out loud to the best of her ability, and he laughs a little— she tries to hide her smile, but she was too happy he was laughing.

She closes her eyes when he gets out, letting him dry himself off and pull on some clean shorts. He throws the wet towel at her when he’s done, eliciting a “Hey!” that makes him laugh again.

Now that he’s clean, the two of them descend into his quiet house. Y/n navigates the kitchen, her wolf attached to her hip and being less than helpful, and makes them both something to eat— he doesn’t do much more than stand behind her, wrapped around her, making her life more difficult.

“I’m so happy you came back.” He says, watching her work.

“I was always going to.” Y/n responds, her voice sure and steady.

They talk as they eat, sitting across from one another at the too big table in the Lahote household. Talk about how this was going to work, admitting feelings that always lingered, and everything in between; she hooks her leg around his, watching him scarf down his meal with a wrinkled nose and fondness glittering in her y/e/c eyes.

He’s...gross...but he’s hers, she’s kind of stuck with him.

A date is planned. An actual date.

Paul promises to take her to the local diner (and to wear a shirt, for once.)

“I’ve been saving up for something like this.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and you can get that dessert you like.”

Y/n laughs softly, but heat spreads up her neck and settles in her ears and cheeks. It’d been a long time since that had been her favorite food, but it was the thought that counted...

When Cyrus Lahote returns from work later that night his son and the Y/l/n girl are awkwardly situated on his couch— him on his back, snoring, her lying on top of him, face tucked into his neck, also fast asleep. The older man turns off the TV and tosses a blanket over the pair, ascending up the stairs with a smile on his face.

Y/n Y/l/n was trustworthy. She’s always there when Paul is in a rut too big for him to handle...

[vadergf]

exactly, EXACTLY! i feel like people in this fandom have no idea how fandoms work because you can literally do whatever you want. what do you think fanfic and art and aus and everything are for?? it's for exploring ideas about canon that you think are interesting/didn't get explored in the source material etc etc etc. and like. what happens in canon will never change that. like. supernatural for example. idk if u were ever into it but i assume you know about it because well. this is tumblr. but God it was so bad and the fandom's still kicking! istg like. you Have to be new here. if ur so mad about the ending make up your own! a bad ending to a series or piece of media or whatever is not the end of the world! i saw people doomposting sounding like they will never find another piece of media to love again because of this. like guys its ok. its fine because. again you can do whatever you want. i saw a post that said something along the lines of 'the characters are ours to use, you headcanons can't be decanonized now go wild.' like. YEAH. obviously. the characters have always been available to go wild with. they are characters. you can do whatever you want with them within reason obviously but like. i honestly don't get where all of this stuff is coming from in regards to taking characters away from the creators because you can do that no matter what. maybe i'm just so jaded and careless about it because ive been in fandom for a long time, but i think that some of the people on here are really uptight about aus and headcanons and stuff. like it's not real y'all. its fake so you can take any piece you want and make it real. just make shit up. its fun i prommy. and to get sappy for a moment, the fandom was always the life of the dsmp. ALWAYS. at least for me. all the fanwork and analyses and art and everything was the stuff that sucked me in and kept me here for so long. the creators have mirrored this statement over and over. and i feel like this goes along with the "dsmp is dead" idea that happened every couple of weeks a while ago. fandoms don't die the second the content stops. that's not how it works, a fandom dies when nobody is interested anymore. the fandom and the art and the analyses and the fic and the aus and headcanons etc are what gives like to a piece of media, not the other way around. at least for me. make fandom a living breathing thing with your work. just because you didn't like the ending doesn't mean it's all meaningless. people put time and effort into their art surrounding the dsmp and writing that off as a waste of time because of what is an unsatisfying ending to You personally is disrespectful and a slap in the face imo. some people really just dont get it i fear. BTW this isn't me saying the finale was bad lol im just repeating what ive heard others say about it. i havent seen it yet and im excited to!

so sorry to drop this massive ask into your inbox i kinda just started going and couldnt stop lol. been meaning to get a lot of this shit off my chest and i agreed with your post so it just happened to be in here! i hope it sort of makes sense lmao thanks for reading if you do

You're so right!!! I literally don't have anything to add

[mypoisonedvine]

Exchanging Gifts | chubby!Bucky Barnes x reader

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARINA!!! @ballyhoobarnes​ you’re such a sweet person and so talented and a great friend and ily and also ur hot, which is less relevant but still worth mentioning

summary: chubby!bucky takes you out for your birthday, and even though he’s inexperienced, he knows how to show you a good time if you know what I mean... listen it’s pretty much fluffy pwp idk what to tell you

warnings: smut!!, oral (m receiving), loss of virginity (his, of course lol), some fingering, overstimulation, creampie kink, praise kink, morning sex, bucky being insecure?? FLUFF it’s FLUFFY you guys but somehow it turned out filthy too idk i couldn’t help it.

word count: just under 4k, hot damn how did that happen

Even though you'd insisted he didn't need to do anything special for your birthday, Bucky had shown up with a dozen roses and dinner reservations.  "Get dressed up fancy," he instructed you the moment you'd opened the door.  "This place has a black tie dress code."

He was a true gentleman the whole night, until he walked you back to your place.  The second you were on the other side of your door, you couldn't keep your hands off of each other.  

"You're so wonderful," you murmured between breathless kisses as you stumbled back towards the couch.

"This better not be you thinking you owe me anything because I paid for your dinner," he chuckled, "on your birthday."

"Oh it's not that at all," you smiled, running your hands over his chest.  

"What is it then?"

You smirked.  He always seemed to need a reason, as if 'you're my boyfriend and you're hot' wasn't reason enough.  "Can I be honest with you, Bucky?" you asked quietly, licking your lips subconsciously.

"Always!"

"It's times like this that I'm just really in the mood to suck your cock."

He stammered a little, running a hand through his hair nervously.

"Really?"

"Yup."

He laughed for a second, then got serious again, then just looked horrifically nervous.  "Oh, well I, uh…"

"We don't have to do anything about that, I just felt like saying it—"

"What if we did do something about it?"

You raised an eyebrow.  "Would you want me to?"

"Of course I want you to," he sighed.  "I know we've been taking things really slow— and I'm so glad you've been patient with me— I just… god, you're perfect," he laughed.

"That's far from the truth," you dismissed.  "But I've been happy to take things slow with you.  Even when sometimes it felt like I would die if I couldn't get my hands on you…"

You ran your hands over his chest, feeling how warm and soft he was beneath the shirt he was wearing.  

"Ah, I've been there," he replied wistfully.

"Really?  You relate to that?"

"I barely made it through dinner," he admitted with a laugh.  "All I could think about was… doing this…" he trailed off as he leaned in and began to lick and suck at your neck; his arms wrapped around your waist and you were like putty in them.

"Oh god, Buck," you moaned.

"Say my name like that again," he pleaded.

"Make me," you challenged.

He growled a little as he pulled you back to straddle him on the couch.  You couldn't stop yourself from grinding down on him, moaning again when you felt the hard shape of his cock rubbing right against your clit through your dress and panties.

"Mm, take this off," you purred, tugging at his shirt and tie.

"C-can I keep it on?"

You got a little more serious.  "Of course you can, if you want to.  But I'll admit that I wanna see you."

"And if you don't like what you see?"

"Unlikely, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.  I'll take mine off first if you'd like?"

"Obviously I'd like," he chuckled, "but that's easy for you to say.  You're, you know, sexy and stuff."

"As if you're not?"

"I'm not," he informed you.

"Bucky, I'm gonna level with you: you are so fucking sexy it's actually gonna be the death of me someday," you laughed.  "Don't you realize I think about you all the time?" you asked, getting a little more serious.  "Bucky, those times where you came over and we made out, or fooled around?  As soon as you left I was getting myself off right here on this couch— even when you'd already made me come while you were over.  That's how horny you make me— and when you're not here and all I can do is imagine you, I always call out your name when I—"

"Baby," he groaned, "you'd better stop talking like that or this is gonna end a lot sooner than I want it to."

You chuckled before you started to slip off the straps of your dress, loving the way he watched you do it: enraptured.

You were taken by surprise when, the moment your breasts had spilled from the dress, he leaned forward to suck your nipple between his lips.

With a gasp and a moan, you gripped at his hair and let your head fall back.  Either you were really sensitive, or he was really good at this-- probably a little bit of both, but fuck if you weren’t beyond needy and desperate at this point.

"Please, Bucky," you whimpered.

"What is it, angel?  Anything you want, you can have it," he mumbled as he switched to the other side (symmetry is very important with these sorts of things) and you rubbed your hips against his absent-mindedly.

"Please, please, I need to taste you Bucky, oh my god please let me taste you—"

He nodded and you sighed with relief, beginning to slide down his body as you loosened his tie and opened his shirt.  With each button you exposed more of his body, lathing every inch of skin with kisses.

"How's this?" you asked him softly, looking up at him through your lashes.  "Is this okay?"

"It's very unfamiliar," he answered, "and much more than okay."

"Has nobody done this to you before?"

"Nobody's ever wanted to."

You smirked a little.  "Oh, I doubt that."  You palmed his cock through the suit pants, grinning when he jerked a little under your touch.  Slowly, you opened the fly and pulled it out.

Of course you'd seen his cock before, but not for very long and not up close like this.  It suddenly seemed intimidatingly big; you weren't sure you were going to be able to get much of it in your mouth… but you were excited to try!

You weren't sure you had the heart to tease him very much, but you wanted to give it a try at least.  You licked the head first, then down the shaft, then back up slowly.  He was quiet at first, too busy watching you to say anything, but you knew he was losing patience when his fingers brushed over the side of your face; you could feel his restraint, you could feel that urge to grab your hair and guide you.

"Go ahead," you encouraged, "tell me what you want."

"Put it in your mouth, please," he whimpered.

When you obeyed by pushing his cock all the way to the back of your throat, he made the most beautiful sound: like a gasp and a moan all at once.  His hips bucked up into your throat ever so slightly and the sensation of choking made you grow even wetter.

"Fuck," he sighed, "'s so good…"

You moved up and down, savoring every ridge of him as it slid over your tongue.  Each movement grew a little faster as you used your hand to stroke what your lips couldn't reach.

"Baby," he moaned, "oh my god, s-slow down, please— 'm so close, ah fuck yes—"

You stopped for a moment and used only your hand, catching your breath a little as you took a moment to appreciate how good he looked like this.  

"Is it okay if I make you come?" you asked.

"Is it okay if it doesn't take you very long at all?" he returned, already sounding positively wrecked.

“I’ll take it as a compliment,” you decided.

“You should,” he confirmed, whimpering again when you took him back into your mouth and let your tongue explore whatever it could reach.

The taste of his pre-cum made you moan, and the vibrations of that moan made him grip your shoulder tightly.

“A-angel, please,” he begged, as if he was worried you would stop for some reason.  Your attitude was entirely the opposite, though.  All you could think about was how much you wanted to taste his orgasm and swallow it down.  Fortunately, that dream came true not too much later when he grabbed the back of your neck and moaned your name loudly— loud enough that you were a little worried the neighbors might hear.

But honestly?  You kinda wanted them to.

You kept stroking and sucking until every drop was on your tongue.  You smiled up at him and almost spilled some of it but thankfully avoided that fiasco.

“Show me,” he requested softly; it was a relatively mild show of dominance, but it still sent a shiver down your back as you stuck out your tongue and let his seed gather on it.  “Fuck,” he whispered, “that was… wow.”

You swallowed before answering, because it seemed like a good order to do things in.  The bitter taste as the back of your throat was a small price to pay for him looking at you like that.

“You look drained,” you informed him.

“I am,” he nodded.  “Oh, wait, you mean tired?  Yeah, that too.”

You laughed a little.  “Can we lay down for a minute?”

“It’s 10 p.m., I think it’s acceptable to lay down for more than a minute.”

Deciding to turn in for the night instead (and, of course, have a sleepover), the two of you got ready and changed into pajamas, snuggling up into each other’s arms.

It was an easy sleep after that, and a long one.  Bucky woke up first, the very early light of sunrise being less of an influence on his wakefulness compared to you bumping up against him.  He didn’t mind, though, he liked to watch you for a minute before you woke up anyways, to appreciate how peaceful you looked.

He heard you hum through your sleep, cuddling up closer to him.  It was just cute at first, but then your ass pressed back against crotch and goooood morning…

"Hi there beautiful," he cooed, gently kissing on your temple and down to your neck.  You stirred but didn't wake just yet, though you did smile; and he smiled too, loving the way your lips curled— he could remember how those lips looked wrapped around his cock, swollen and slick with spit and come.  It was a good memory.  

His hand slipped down to your hip, holding you firmly against him: by this point he was so hard he was worried he was going to injure himself somehow.

Finally you woke up, your eyes fluttering open as your sleepy smile turned to a wide, flirtatious grin.

"This might be my favorite way ever to wake up," you informed him.  

He chuckled softly, beginning to kiss along your shoulder.  "Agreed."

His fingers moved down at a teasingly slow pace; you unabashedly opened your legs, hoping to egg him on.  Thankfully, it worked.  He started to suck a mark onto the back of your shoulder as he slipped his hand into your panties, instantly discovering how drenched you were and how swollen and sensitive your clit was.

“Oh you poor thing,” he grinned.  “When’d you get so wet, angel?”

“It never stops around you,” you explained with a shiver.

It didn’t take much more until you were a begging mess, his fingers working their magic and making your whole body alight with energy.

"Bucky, please—" you whimpered.

"What do you need, angel?" he asked with only a hint of coyness shining through his tone.

"I just— I want more, please…"

"We've tried a lot of new things today," he reminded you.  "And it was amazing.  And I wondered what you would say if I told you I want to try something else…"

"Oh really?" you purred.  "What did you have in mind?"

"This might not be the, uh, most hip language but… I want to make love to you."

Your eyes went a little wide.  "Really, Bucky?  I mean, you're sure you want me to be—"

"Yes, I'm so sure, I've never been more sure of anything.  You've been so amazing and I can't think of a better person to have as my first."

I don't just want you to be my first, I want you to be my only, he added internally, too afraid to say it aloud.

"I wanna be your first, Bucky," you agreed softly, brushing your fingers through his hair.  "I'm really— I'm honored you want it to be me.  And also I'm very turned on right now."

He laughed and kissed you again, pulling you close.  As his body settled between your legs, you revelled in how warm you felt— not hot or sweaty (yet), just warm, and safe, and comforted.  He still gave you those butterflies in your stomach, sure, but for once that didn’t seem to just be a cute way of repackaging your anxiety.

With your panties pulled to your ankles and your shirt (which was, of course, actually his shirt that you’d stolen) tossed to the side, he kissed his way down your chest and stomach until his face was buried between your legs.

“Buck, I— fuck I thought you were gonna oh god just like that yes—”

“Wanted to return the favor first,” he explained, his words muffled.

“Didn’t anybody ever tell you it’s rude to talk with your mouth full?” you giggled.

He smiled but kept going, almost gentle at first but quickly finding a few favorite spots and stimulating them mercilessly.

You didn’t mean to pull his hair so hard but he didn’t seem to mind, moaning every time you forced him onto you harder.  "Bucky, oh god, don't stop please!” you sobbed.

Of course he didn’t; he wanted you to come, he was a man on a mission and not much could stop him at this point.  Just as he began to suck on your clit even harder than before— just hard enough to make the threat of pain tingle up your spine— he pressed two fingers into your opening.  One little curl into your g-spot and you were gone, biting down on your lip as your body spasmed uncontrollably.

He moaned as he coaxed you through it; you tried to tap out but he went just a moment longer and for that one moment, you thought your body might just crumble into little pieces from the overwhelming pleasure.

Before you could even catch your breath, he was kissing you again.  Your taste on his lips was divinely filthy.

“Need to be inside you,” he explained with a whisper as he started to take off his boxers.

“Please,” you sighed, too weak to even put a full sentence together.

Even with a very thorough warm-up, you couldn’t help but gasp as he pressed into you.  Your walls fluttered and flexed as they made way for the intrusion, both of you moaning softly while you arched your back to take him deeper.

“Fuck, you feel incredible,” he whispered as his face buried into your neck.  Your arms wrapped around his shoulders— you loved how broad and strong they were— and he pushed up from behind your knees to spread you open for him, the new angle forcing the head of his cock to press right into your spot.

“Fuck!” you cried out.  He sat up slightly and looked a little concerned at first.  “No, it’s good,” you reassured him, “it’s so good, Bucky, right there—”

He pulled back only to quickly push forward again, setting a pace that wasn’t quite rushed but was certainly a bit desperate.  Even so, you were on the verge of begging for more, you needed him so badly.

“Harder, please,” you moaned.  Okay, maybe you were a little past being on the verge.

“Is that how you like it?  Rough?” he asked darkly.

“Maybe,” you grinned.  “Is that how you like it?”

“I don’t know yet,” he responded, his grip on your legs tightening until you were almost tempted to struggle against him just to see if he was strong enough to hold you down, “but I like you telling me how to make you feel good.”

“Then fuck me,” you demanded through your teeth, moaning louder when he obeyed and began to pound into you.  The slapping of skin filled the room, as did the revealing sound of your arousal, and it made your face burn even though you were pretty sure he didn’t mind at all.

You were so sensitive from the last time you came that you were already making quick progress towards the next.  Didn’t help that your swollen clit was brushing against his cock every time it speared into you.

“You’re— fuck— you’re squeezin’ me, angel,” he hissed.  “You gonna come already?”

You couldn’t even speak anymore, just nodding wildly.  He leaned forward to kiss you and you were nearly folded in half as he kept his grip on your legs.  You weren’t sure anything had been so deep inside you before; you were sure you had never made a sound like the one you made in that moment.

“Fuck, s’that good, huh?” he teased in reaction to the way you were nearly screaming already.

“God, you are the cockiest virgin ever,” you laughed, hoping you could delay the inevitable just a bit longer for the sake of your dignity.  You tried to angle your body so he wouldn’t be so deep, so it would be so much, but he held you firm and fucked into you even harder.

“Ah ah ah,” he corrected with a smirk, “no running away, angel.  Gonna make you come on my cock.”

“Oh fuck,” you whimpered, “fuck, Bucky, I’m close…”

“Me too,” he murmured back, kissing you deeply one more time.  You hadn’t even imagined how perfect it would feel to come around him with his tongue still in your mouth, your moans blending with his, his fingers digging into your thighs while your nails were sure to leave marks on his back and shoulders.  But even if you had tried to imagine how perfect it would feel, you couldn’t have ever come close.  The moment you were tumbling over the edge, he was right there with you; you could feel him flexing against your walls as he came, and you were afraid if you let your eyes roll back like you so desperately wanted to, they’d get stuck there or something.  

You just barely heard him murmur ‘angel’ as he kissed all down your neck.  His body relaxed a little on top of you, though you still felt sensitive and tingly from where your bodies were joined.

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” he admitted, looking down at you as his cheeks turned a little pink.

You couldn’t, though, and he sat up with a sigh as you smiled back up at him.  He held your legs up as he pulled out, watching with wide eyes as his come leaked from your hole.  You gasped when he reached down to push it back in with two fingers; your whole body jerked when he moved those fingers inside you and started to rub your g-spot again.

“Bucky, what are you—?” you asked breathlessly, but you were already subconsciously pushing back to ride his fingers.

"I wanna see you come one more time," he explained.  "You just look so perfect when you do it— and it's the best feeling when I'm doing it to you."

“We can definitely agree on that,” you mumbled.  He rubbed little circles over your spot, using his free hand to hold your hips down, forcing you to take all the sensation he was giving you.  Knowing that his come was the lubricant for all this made your head spin.  “F-fuck, right there,” you whimpered.

“I know,” he smiled.  “I can tell you’re close again.”

It wasn’t so much that you were close than that you never got a chance to come down from the high of the last one.

“You’re so perfect, my perfect girl,” he purred, watching you squirm from the praise.  “You wanna be my good girl, don’t you?  You wanna come for me again?”

“Yes,” you groaned, “god, yes, Bucky—”

He pressed against you harder and your moan quickly shifted to a slightly-embarrassing choking noise.  His fingers pumped into faster and faster and your sore walls burned but you still wanted more.  He didn’t let up until you were tightening around him with another orgasm, this one burning brighter but shorter, taking all the energy from you at once.  He watched your face as you came, loving the way you held your breath, the way your eyes fluttered shut, the way you bit down on your lip—

"Bucky— you said one more—" you whined in confusion when you realized his fingers were still moving, if a little slower, and his thumb was reaching up to press into your clit.

"I never said just one more…" he smirked.

"Fuck, I— I dunno if I can take it!" you sobbed, the sensation nearly too much to handle.

"Oh you can," he purred.  "You're so strong, you're so good for me— I know you can.  I know you can give me one more."

You literally squealed when he pulled out his fingers only to put his cock in you again.  You hadn’t even realized he was still hard.

“Oh my god, Bucky!” you cried out, gripping the sheets for dear life.

"You wanna call out my name like you did when I wasn't around?  I bet that's not all you did.  I bet you begged, and pleaded, screamed for me to let you come.  Am I right?"

You nodded feverishly; his laugh in response had just that hint of condescension, that edge of degradation.  Even though you knew he wouldn't judge you for it, admitting it felt dirty in a delicious way.

“‘Cause you wanna be my good girl,” he posited.

“I— I am your good girl,” you stammered, feeling a little silly referring to yourself that way.

He laughed a little, still rubbing your clit as he fucked you hard and fast.  “Yeah, you are, angel.”

The petname, even though you’d heard it a thousand times, was what sent you over the edge the last time.  You nearly kicked him off you as the pleasure finally reached the point that you truly were at your limit, but thankfully he got the hint before that and pulled out, giving you a much needed break.

“Dear god,” you chuckled through your exhaustion, your eyes falling shut, “that was— you are— I can’t—”

“Was it good?” he asked softly as he laid beside you and pulled you into him.

Your eyes shot open again.  “Was… was it good?” you repeated incredulously.  “Buck, it was incredible.  It was life-ruining.  I thought your first time was going to be about you.”

“It was!  Making you come four times is me spoiling myself,” he explained, kissing your shoulder.  “What’s about you is me letting you shower first.”

“You aren’t gonna join me?” you asked coyly.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, angel,” he warned.  “I think you need a rest.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you grumbled disappointedly.  The last thing you needed was to pass out in the shower from him doing that to you again.  “Is it really a whole year until my next birthday?” 

“Yeah, sadly that’s how those work,” he smiled. 

“What about your birthday?” 

“Not ‘til March.”

“...that means your half-birthday is just a week away,” you realized.

“So?”

“I think we should start celebrating those.”

He laughed a little.  “You wanna get me a half-present?”

“Yeah,” you decided.  “I think I’m gonna pay for half of your dinner.  Then I’m gonna fuck you halfway to death.”

[wholesomemendes]

Omg congrats on 1k🥳🥳 concept- a blurb about love languages and like ur guys styles are diff lil angst pls heheheh

Author's Note: Hiiiiiii. How are you lovies? I know you probably all hate me cause I just disappeared but hopefully this will kinda make up for it for those of you who are actually still here. Fun fact never used the queue before so we'll see how that goes. Also I vaguely remember the read more thing not working that well with asks, but I don't remember what I used to do to fix that so hopefully this works. Love all of you and miss you *mwah* please interact with me so I get more motivation lol

The second the door shuts to the condo you share with your love, you can already hear his unmistakable voice call out for you, “Baby, come here! I have a surprise for you!” You roll your eyes, knowing that some insanely expensive gift was probably waiting for you around that corner. Shawn wasn’t the type to randomly spend a large portion of his money on things he didn’t need, but when it came to you, there was no limit to his spending. Anytime he saw something that reminded him of you or that he thought you’d look stunning in, he couldn’t stop himself from swiping his card. It wasn’t like you didn’t appreciate the copious amount of gifts he gave you; you knew he meant well and that one of his love languages was giving gifts. However, as someone who was raised to be independent and not accept “handouts” from anyone, you found it hard to be constantly given things you didn’t work for and you didn’t believe you deserved yet. You didn’t find it fair that you weren’t at that stage in your life where you could gift Shawn something as expensive as what he gives you, but you constantly get those things from him. It wouldn’t have phased you as much if it was just for holidays, but this was an almost every other day occurrence and no matter how many times you told him not to buy things for you, he never seemed to listen.

You sighed, putting your purse on the table and making your way towards the bedroom, desperately wishing you could just relax into a warm bath after your hard day at work instead of facing whatever your loving boyfriend had in store for you. Opening the door you were met with Shawn’s smiling face, a large box with the word Gucci written in bold lettering across it. You put on a fake smile as your heart sank. This couldn’t be what you thought it was could it? “Hey,” he put the box next to him in favor of pulling you onto his lap, “How was work today?” He pressed a sweet kiss to your lips and for a moment, you let yourself get pulled into the utter bliss that was Shawn Mendes.

“I won’t lie, not the greatest,” you sighed as you rested your head on his shoulder.

“Why, what happened?” he asked, his arm tightening around you to pull you closer.

“It was just insane today and my boss was in a bad mood and...I don’t know it was just bad and I’m exhausted.”

“Well, I think I have something that might cheer you up!”

“Shawn…,” you said in a mix of a whine and a stern tone, “I told you no more.”

“I know, I know,” he rushed out, placing the box in your hands, “I just want to spoil my girl. I can afford to do so and there’s no one else that deserves it more than you do.” It hurt your heart to hear him talk like that when not a single part of you felt you deserved it. You were nowhere close to where you wanted to be in your life career wise and you certainly weren’t near Shawn’s level of success. “Just open it, please?” he gave you his softest puppy dog eyes that always made you cave.

“Ok…” Opening up the box your heart stopped. There lying in the delicate paper was one of the most beautiful handbags you had ever seen; the one you had secretly been saving up for for almost a year now. You thought you had hid it from him so well, always looking at it when he wasn’t there to make sure you could still get it, and even putting together a small envelope of extra money to use towards it. This was supposed to be your first big designer purchase in honor of your huge promotion at work a little under a year ago today, but of course Shawn had to go and ruin it all for you.

Meanwhile, Shawn was oblivious to the disappointment and resentment brewing inside of you. “Do you like it?” he asked with the biggest smile, “I noticed the tab open on your computer last week when I borrowed it for those pictures and thought you liked it!”

“Why would you do this?” you whispered, a crack forming in your voice.

“What?”

“Why would you do this?” you almost snapped at him, looking at him with tears that held mixed emotions.

“B- because I love you,” he stammered, not having prepared to have this reaction. In his head you were going to come home, see the gift, smother him in thank you kisses, and maybe, just maybe, you would make love to him for the rest of the night. Never in his wildest dreams did it end up like this.

“If you loved me you would have listened to me and not bought this, or anything for that matter!” you exclaimed as you stood up off his lap, “I’ve told you so many times I don’t want you buying anything for me but you never listen!”

“I- I’m sorry, I just thought…”

“No that’s the thing, you didn’t think! I just- god, Shawn, this was it, the one thing I was going to do for myself after all these years. I was only $100 away from my goal, I was right there! But you can’t just think with your head for one second and think about how your girlfriend who always tells you that you don’t need to buy things for her might be planning on finally achieving one of her goals of having enough money to spend it on something like this!”

If your eyes weren’t filled with tears and you weren’t so blinded by your emotions you might have been able to see Shawn’s heart visibly breaking on the bed, leaving him looking like a hurt puppy. “I’m so sorry, I’ll do anything to make it up to you. I’ll, I’ll return the bag or or you can pay me back for it so it’s like you bought it yourself!”

“You don’t understand because you’ve never had any problems with money. It’s not the same anymore, Shawn. No matter what, all I’ll be reminded of is that you bought it first and not me.”

“What can I do? I, I swear I’ll do anything,” his voice cracked as his own tears filled his eyes.

“I don’t, I don’t know. I need to go.” You knew you were being dramatic, but after 2 years of the same thing with Shawn over and over again you had reached your breaking point.

“No please, I’ll fix this I promise,” he pleaded, standing up to face you.

You successfully avoided him so you could grab a small bag with your things, “Shawn, I need space for at least one night.”

He reached out for you this time, his large hand grabbing your arm desperately to turn you around, “Please, don’t go. I won’t buy you anything else, I swear!”

“It’s not that I just, I don’t know. I’m upset and I’m tired and my head is all over the place and…” His large hands cupped your jaw and pressed his lips hard against yours, giving you no space to pull away. The slight taste of salt from both of your tears on your lips broke your heart more than it was before. It was hard to explain why you weren’t fighting him on this kiss; it was almost as if he was kissing you so that it was easier to let you go for the night.

His lips released yours reluctantly with a sigh, “I’ll pack my things for the night. You stay here.”

“Shawn…”

“No, I was the one who messed up so I should be the one who has to leave. I still have a backpack I never unpacked from when I got back from LA last week and I can stay with my parents for however long you want. I- ,” he looked down shamefully, his hands finally dropping from your face. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to make you happy, but I wasn’t even thinking of what would really make you happy. Just, just tell me when you’re ready for me to come back home.”

He made his way through the bedroom, grabbing his phone, wallet, backpack and guitar before making his way through the door. Your heart cried out to go after your love, but your feet stayed planted almost in shock of everything that just happened. You were still mad at him, upset with him, and if it was possible, even more upset and mad at yourself. So as much as you wanted to run after him, you let him walk away with half your heart in his hands.

____________________________

“Mom?” you sniffled as you sat on the edge of your bed, the infamous handbag discarded next to you as if it was taunting you.

“Oh honey, what’s wrong?” the soft voice of your mother filled the speaker.

“I messed up,” you confessed, “I really messed up and I don’t...I don’t…”

“Take a deep breath, dear, and tell me what happened. I’m sure it can be fixed.”

“I don’t know if it can. I’m a horrible person!”

“You are not a horrible person. Now tell me exactly what happened.”

She listed carefully as a mother does while you went through moment through moment of your lash out with Shawn, up until the point where he left. “I feel terrible, Mom. This was just the one thing I had planned to do for myself and he never took into account how I would feel about this even though I constantly tell him how I feel about gift giving.”

“Sweetheart, I know you so badly want to be an independent woman and there’s nothing wrong with that. But you’re in a relationship now which means not everything you do can be independent. Think about it from his point of view: all of these things he gets you he gets out of love. He doesn’t do it because he wants you to rely on him for money, he knows you’re not with him for that and it’s probably one of the reasons he loves you so much; you treat him like a regular person. Not someone who is just a pretty face that can buy you whatever you want and get you fame. However, he is someone with money and that means he can afford these things for you. It’s not to belittle any of your accomplishments in your career or financially because we both know how supportive he is of you. It’s simply because he wants to show you he’s thinking about you and spoil you to make you happy. I know gifts aren’t one of your main love languages, but it’s definitely one of his. I bet if you had told him about this bag and how much it meant to you instead of hiding it from him, he would have never dreamed of taking it away from you. I understand your immediate frustration, but maybe think about if you’re truly upset with him about this or if you’re upset with yourself for not being able to reciprocate.”

“You’re right, Mom.”

“Of course I’m right, I’m your mother!” she let out a light hearted laugh, “But seriously, go apologize to that boy. He’s probably beating himself up over this.”

____________________________

“Are you and Dad home right now?”

“Yes, why is something wrong?”

“Can’t I just be coming over to say hello?”

“Of course you can, but I can tell by your voice that something is wrong.”

A sad smile formed on his face at the fact that even over a car speaker, his mom was still able to read him like a book. “Y/n and I got into a fight.”

“Oh no,” his mother gasped, never hearing many difficulties between the two, “What happened?”

“It’s my fault, Mom, I was being selfish,” he replied defeated, his guilty heart weighing down on him, “You know how I love to give gifts right? Well, Y/n isn’t always the biggest fan of it because she loves being independent. But I can’t help it! She’s the first person who hasn’t been overjoyed over every gift I give her and I never understand because I just want her to be happy and I know they’re things she would like so...I just don’t think! I don’t know why I can’t take a hint and just do what she wants me to do! I just want to make her happy, Mom, and feel loved and all I’ve done is annoy her and upset her!”

“Ok, before you keep going on this self-deprecated spiral, I need you to tell me what happened. And no more blaming yourself until I’ve heard everything.” So he did. And just like the conversation unfolding back at his home, his own mother listened to every word he had to say.

“From my understanding,” she began, “And I’m not saying this to try to defend you, but it sounds like she is battling some problems of her own.”

“No, you don’t understand, I wasn’t listening to her…”

“Oh will you hush! I wasn’t finished. Could you lay off the gifts and make them every once in a while? Of course. However, I believe her outburst today had something to do with some financial conflicts she is facing and maybe just an overall bad mood. You’re not perfect, obviously you need to tone down the gifts just a little bit, but you were definitely not in the full wrong here. There was no way she could have expected you to know about her intentions and plans so you can’t blame that on yourself. She definitely felt that she had to hide it from you in fear that you wouldn’t listen, which might be another issue if she believes that you aren’t willing to budge on your point of view. But you should not go beating yourself up over this! She’ll come around to her senses and you two will be fine.”

“Thank you, Mom. I hope so, I miss her already,” Shawn pouted, wishing so desperately that he was driving back home instead of away from it.

“Of course. Now I’ll make sure your room is all ready for whenever you get here and I’ll stay up to give you a big hug. How does that sound?”

“Amazing, I’ll be there in…” the sight of your name popping up on his center console broke him from his thoughts, “Wait, Mom, she’s calling me. I’ll call you back.”

“Good luck honey!”

With shaky hands, he hit answer on the phone, “Shawn?”

Even just hearing his name out of your mouth brought him comfort, “Yes? Are you ok? Did something happen?”

“No, I’m fine. I mean I’m not fine, but physically I’m fine. Anyways, I’m going to ramble so I’ll just try to say this quick before I stray too far away from what I was going to say and before I get myself even more worked up again because who knows how long…”

“Y/n,” he stopped you, knowing you would ramble on forever, “Why did you call me?”

“Please come home.” His heart nearly lept out of his chest at your words, not needing to hear anymore. “I’m so sorry, Shawn. I should never have lashed out at you and…”

“Don’t say anything else. I don’t want to do this over the phone. I love you, please don’t apologize and I’ll be home in half an hour.”

“But, Shawn…”

“I love you and I’ll see you soon.” With that he hung up the phone and sped his way back through the Toronto streets to the girl he loved most.

____________________________

The second you heard the door open you ran to launch your body into his arms, abandoning your previous post of walking holes in the floor. He gladly accepted you against him, holding you tight in his arms. “I’m so sorry,” you pleaded, new tears rimming at your eyes, “Please forgive me.”

“Shushh, we both can apologize in a second. I just want to hold you.” Shawn maneuvered the two of you back onto your bed with you in his lap, still clinging onto him for dear life. He felt your tears wetting his shirt and while it broke his heart to know you were

hurting, he hoped that being close to you for these few more moments would show that he wasn’t mad at you. After a couple minutes passed, he loosened his grasp on you, “Y/n look at me.” You did as told, revealing your tearful eyes to him. “I’m not mad at you,” he promised as he wiped your tears away, “I’m not upset with you in any way. I forgive you for whatever you feel you need to be forgiven for and I hope you can say the same with me.”

“No, you have nothing to apologize for!” you protested, “You did nothing but try to show me love and make me happy and I’m so sorry I couldn’t look past my own selfish issues. Talking with my mom made me realize that the reason I have always been so apprehensive to receiving your gifts is because I’m not at the point in my career that I thought I would be and I'm letting out my resentment at myself on you. I know how wrong that is of me and I am so sorry for it. There’s nothing wrong with you expressing your love through gifts and I can’t express how sorry I am for making you believe that you were the issue.”

“I forgive you. And I’m sorry, too. I should have talked with you about this and taken into account how you didn’t respond the same way as my friends and family when I give them things and should have taken a step back. I realize my gifts are excessive and I will work to tone them back so they are more special. I love you, Y/n. Even being away from you for an hour after a fight was too much for me to bear.”

“I love you, too. I hated being away from you more than anything.” He kissed your lips passionately, transferring every emotion he had for you into that kiss. Hands caressed your body as yours held him tighter in fear of him disappearing and neither of you wanted to relive this night ever again. “Shawn?” you whispered against his lips, receiving a hum in response, “Thank you for the bag. I can’t wait to tell everyone how my loving and thoughtful boyfriend got it for me.”

“You don’t have to, I can return it.”

“Return it? This is my dream bag and the fact that you wanted to get it for me because you could tell I wanted it means a lot even though I had the absolute worst way of showing it.”

“Stop,” he kissed you again, “I don’t want you to worry about it any longer. Let me just love on you how I had planned tonight.” And while it might not have been the way Shawn had planned the night to go, he was ending it exactly how he wanted to.

[hwangsies]

LIMERENCE

(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person

pairing: hyunjin x female reader

summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,...well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?

warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)

8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,

and enjoy!<3

---

"alright everyone" your professor rubs his hands together "that was it for today... i hope you all have a great break and i'm very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again" he chuckles.

You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.

"fuck" you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.

"you did it girl" your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.

She's sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.

"finally" you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.

"my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up" she giggles "it was kinda cute not gonna lie"

"oh god" you snicker.

"hey did you find someone to take to yongin?" you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.

"oh yea, i did" she turn to you "i think you know him, seo changbin?"

You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you've heard of the name.

"he's a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin" she continues folding a pair of jeans "funny you'd ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn't that where you're going?"

"Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich" you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.

"Mm you aint gotta tell me girl" chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.

"so who's that friend?" you ask, stretching out on your bed.

"he's in his grade, hyunjin"

Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”

"Oh yea" she points at you "you know him?"

"unfortunately" you huff.

"o-oh, what"s the tea?" your roommate wiggles her brows at which you shake your head.

"nothing much really" you sigh, leaning back again "he's just like the most arrogant and stuck up fuckboy ever"

"wow, well thats not nothing" chaeryong laughs "any reason as to why you think that?"

"you could probably ask any girl on campus and she'll tell you the same" you scoff.

"really girl?" chaeryong squints an eye at you playfully "cause i've only heard of him being hot but never of him being a hoe. And you know i'm the first to know the hot gossip" she winks.

Laughing defeatedly, running your hand through your hair.

"it's just- we hit it off at the campus' new years eve party, like really hit it off- at least thats what i thought"

"oooh spill it spill it" chaeryong leaps over to your bed to sit at the end of it.

"well there's really not much to spill, i gave him my number and he was talking all that smack about taking me out and stuff aaand to make a long story short i never heard from him again"

"well" chaeryong speaks slowly, biting her lip guiltily "i dont think you'll be very happy about me giving changbin your number for him, then?"

"you did what???" your eyes almost pop out of your head.

"sooorryy" she jumps up from your bed, clutching her hands apologetically "i didnt know"

"aaaaarghh" you whine, burying your face in your pillow.

"maybe he won't even text you though" chaeryong tries to console you, but the damage is already done...

-

unknown number - hey i got this number from changbin, i heard you're driving up to seoul, i'd love to tag along if you're looking for someone to share expenses with -recieved at 9:12 am

You huff looking at the message on your phone.

After chaeryong had left last night you really convinced yourself that he couldn't possibly dare to reach out to you.

But here you are reading his message after just waking up, and your day is already ruined.

you - who is this? - sent at 9:56 am

You know who it is, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that you do.

Scoffing when he answers almost immediately.

unknown number - this is hyunjin, did i reach the right person? - recieved at 9:57 am

You have two choices at this point.

1. be petty and bitter about a boy who probably doesn't even remember you.

Or 2. move on and help someone who is also just trying to get home and also maybe get some closure.

So you curse your mother for rasing you so well and suck it up.

you - yea sure, i planned on leaving tomorrow at around 6 pm - sent at 10:02 am

Damn you and your common human decency.

he sus - oh okay great :) i only have one suitcase and a backpack btw so i wont take up alot of space or anything - recieved at 10:05 am

he sus - also i feel weird bc i dont know ur name or anything changbin literally just sent me the number and nothing else lol, also 6 sounds good should we meet at the main building then? -sent at 10:06 am

You're quite honestly not shocked that he seems nice over text because he was the same when you met on new years eve.

you - sure lets meet at the main building, my car is white and my name is y/n - sent at 10:09 am

Cringing as you press the send button because you are 99% certain he won't answer anymore; not that you'd care, obviously.

he sus - alright y/n see you tomorrow at 6 then :) - recieved at 10:14 am

You raise your brows when your phone lights up with his message, does he really not remember you?

Was he that drunk?

Well, it doesnt matter because you don't want to pay for all this gas alone and he seems to be the next best option to fix that.

So you shrug it off and get out off bed to run some last errands and start packing.

-

Your heart is beating unreasonably fast when you take a turn towards the main building at 5:55 pm the next day.

Calm down y/n it’ll just be 5 hours and who says you have to talk to him?

However you do know deep in your heart that you only wanted to arrive just a little early so you could complain about him being late.

That plan got cut short because your eyes fall on him as you pull up to the main building.

He’s- oh my god he’s blonde. You stop your car and he looks up at you.

“it is you!” hyunjin smiles at you when you step out of the car.

“who else would it be?” you ask, a little irritated at his reaction.

His face drops a bit when he sees you clearly annoyed by him, but the doesn’t blame you; he’d be mad too.

You open your trunk for him to put his weirdly small suitcase into, looking him up and down as he lifts it inside.

He’s wearing dark baggy pants and a windbreaker jacket, the top part of his chin-length blonde hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.

He seemed to have bulked up as well, shoulders looking broader than what you remember.

The hair is different than the jet black hair that you remember on him, but it suits him very well; to be honest he would look good in any hair colour, not that you’d care though.

The first thirty minutes of the ride go by agonizingly slow and in complete silence.

When you drive onto the freeway you can’t take it anymore and mumble something among the lines of ‘wanna listen to some music?’.

You don’t wait for an answer, pressing the radio button right as you finish your sentence.

“uh, actually” hyunjin starts, his hand lifting to turn the radio back off, your eyes snap towards him, is he serious? Turning off your radio in your car?

“I wanted to address this situation” he says rather quietly.

You scoff “what? You realized that this is awkward just now?”

“no- I mean- yes I understand why you would think that but I just really want a chance to explain myself” he stutters.

“explain yourself” you repeat after him before mumbling “sure because there’s so much to explain”

“listen, I know you think I’m an asshole who just ghosted you b-“

“listen, I can handle rejection, you could’ve just said that you weren’t looking for something serious and I would’ve accepted that. The thing I’m mad about though is you literally making false promises and shit” 

Hyunjin blinks at you “can I please just explain to you what happened?”

You let out a long huff “sure” you wave your hand “go ahead”

“when you and your friends left at around 4, you wrote your number on my arm with your eyeliner, correct?” he asks.

Glancing over at him, you nod.

“after you where gone, I was already pretty drunk but then my friends decided to drag me with them to a different party that was still going” you see him fiddling with his hands in your peripheral “well I got super fucking shitfaced at that party and ended up puking on this one guys shoes”

You raise your eyebrows and hold back a laugh, which he notices.

“its okay you can laugh” he chuckles as well.

“anyways that guy was not very happy about it and busted my lip before kicking me and my friends out, so then back in the dorm my roommate sat me in the shower because I was full of alcohol, blood and puke”

“ew” you chime in.

“and when I woke up the next morning your number was gone” hyunjin looks over at you “we don’t have any mutual friends, I didn’t know what your major is so I couldn’t even asks for you in the administrating office, and then the covid lockdown happened and here we are”

“you called the administrating office?” you look over at him, he nods a little smile on his stupid pretty lips.

“yep, so, sorry to tell you but your eyeliner is not waterproof” he jokes at which you playfully knit your brows at him.

“believe me, I wanted to text you. I really wanted to take you out; and when you sent me your name yesterday I didn’t know if this was a lucky coincidence or if you’re a different y/n, that’s why I didn’t say anything” he explains.

You take a deep breath as you realize you have to apologize for going off on him just now, you believe him but you hate apologizing.

“well, I feel like an ass for going off on you like that after hearing all this” you chuckle “I’m sorry” you eye him shortly before looking back on the road.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize I get how it looked, very much sus” he laughs with you.

-

Coming back to your car after you took a bathroom break on a highway rest-stop, you see hyunjin sitting in the drivers seat.

“what do you think you’re doing?” you smile as you sit down on the passenger seat.

“I thought maybe you’d like to sleep since its dark already and you’ve been driving for almost 3 hours” he suggests while putting on his seatbelt.

“well, I wont say no to that” you shrug and put your seatbelt on as well.

“so when did you go blonde?” you ask curiously.

“uh- around end of june” hyunjin chuckles “it was a dare if I’m being honest but I ended up liking it and got it redone”

“oh okay” you check out his profile once more and follow his hair with your eyes “I like it”

“yea?”

“yea, which is weird cause I’m usually not into blondes at all” you wonder.

“hm” he grins “must be me then” he says before winking at you.

“pfff, in your dreams” you rebuttal playfully, at which he laughs and mumbles a ‘true’.

You don’t react to it because you think your ears are playing tricks on you.

“hey I have a question too” hyunjin says.

“what’s up” you lean your arm against the window as you look over at him.

His face is slightly lit by the lights of the other cars, no seriously, how can a side profile be so perfect?

“why did you even agree to take me with you if you thought I ghosted you?” he grins.

You laugh “well, I’m a nice person and I know not a lot of people there are from seoul and my mom raised me right, okay?”

“okay okay” he giggles, the way his eyes crinkle when he does makes you smile everytime.

“or…did you have such a good time with me on new years that you just had to jump on this opportunity?” he quips, carefully stealing a peek at you.

“sure, why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t text” you feign sadness.

The both of you laugh before falling into comfortable silence.

When looking outside your window, you think back to said new years eve.

-(flashback)

“oh my god” you said, stepping into the big hall that usually is the universities gym. But whoever planned this outdid themselves.

A dj was placed on one of the tribunes and a whole buffet of drinks and punches on the other, as well as a big disco ball hanging from the ceiling, making the room shimmery and shiny.

You could see people coming out of the doors that connected into the universities hall on one side and into the locker rooms on the others, as if it wasn’t already packed.

“this is fucking insane” lia, your roommate from last semester, squeaked while grabbing your arm and jumping a little, her voice overpowering the blasting music..

“I wanna get fucking hammered tonight” you turned to her.

“oh babe don’t worry,  we didn’t come here to drink soda” she laughed before spotting some of your other friends.

About five minutes before midnight you and some more girls gathered at the buffet of drinks and started doing shots.

You all had decided that instead of kissing someone at 12 o’clock you’d ring in 2020 with a shot, because alcohol can’t cheat on you.

You were laughing at something when some people started the countdown.

10!

9!

8!

7!

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“HAPPY NEW YEAR”

Every one shouted and celebrated in union as you downed your shot.

“happy new year babe” lia hugged you after downing hers.

“happy new year!” you shouted into her ear, full of relief that this stressful year was over.

“lets do another one” she grinned widely after your whole friend group had shared their wishes with each other.

A girl you didn’t know very well handed you another shot, just as you emptied your glass you heard a guy yell something before stumbling into your back.

“jesus” you stumbled forward a bit before turning around, ready to throw someone a dirty look.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” in front of you suddenly stood a tall dark haired young man with almost too perfect facial features, frowning a little out of concern.

“nothing happened” you smiled, taking a step towards him so he’d hear you better.

“I’m glad” he replied, a grin slowly stretched across his handsome face

“I’m y/n” you giggled as you held out your hand.

His eyes crinkled with his smile as he took your hand in his “I’m hyunjin” he said before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“okay guys let her have her fun lets go over there” you hear lia usher your friends away from behind you.

“happy new year y/n” he said before instinctively pulling you a little closer to him when a group of people passed behind you.

“happy new year hyunjin” you replied, a slow blush creeping on your face from how intensely he was taking in your appearance.

“well yea happy fucking new years to me for running into you” he joked before taking a sip, your brain wasn’t able to function anymore so you just giggled and nervously pushed your hair behind your ear.

It had been way too long since you’d talked to a guy, especially someone as attractive as him

“you’re fucking stunning” hyunjin complimented you and lifted your hand with his to make you spin for him, to which you complied because you took a long time getting ready and always appreciate being appreciated.

“thank you” you were crimson red by now but hoped he wouldn’t see because of the dimmed lights.

“how come I’ve never seen you around? I would’ve remembered you” he tilted his head.

“oh this was my first year here and I live on the other side of campus so…” you nodded slowly “but yea I would’ve remembered you too”

He grinned before downing his drink and putting on the table next to the both of you.

“wanna dance?”

That’s how you found yourself on the dance floor with hyunjin pressed against your back.

Slowly but surely the alcohol made you braver; and it didn’t take long for the dj to play perfect songs to grind yourself against his toned body to.

His reaction was instant, hands gripping even harder at your waist and his own movements matching your own.

You looked back at him just to have the air knocked out of your lungs, a barely there sheen of sweat was covering his forehead; his pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted before his tongue swiftly swept over his lower lip.

He looked like sex on legs and moved like it too.

His plump lips formed into a grin when he noticed you staring, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol running through your system but you so desperately wanted to kiss him.

“can’t stop looking at you either, pretty” he lowered his head to mumble against your cheek before pressing a kiss there.

“you’re so goddamn sexy” you blurted out as you turned around to face him, running one of your hands through his dark hair before positioning them on his firm chest.

He threw back his head as his chest vibrated with laughter.

“don’t laugh at me” you laughed as you locked eyes again.

“you’re cute when you’re drunk” hyunjin brought one hand to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“you dont even know me sober” you giggle “also i’m not drunk!” you protested playfully, his hands found your waist in the meantime to pull you flush to his body; at which you gasped almost inaudibly.

“oh really?” he looked down at you, clearly amused “didn’t you drink like 5 shots half an hour ago?”

“well well well, I didn’t know I had an audience” you countered, looping your arms around his neck.

Hyunjin prodded at the inside of his cheek with his tongue before looking away for a swift second, slightly embarrassed because he just exposed himself.

You felt yourself gush a little when he licked his lips again after bringing his gaze back to you.

“so you almost knocked me over on purpose?” you grinned even bigger when he shook his head laughingly.

“listen” he chuckled, leaning down unnecessarily close because you could hear him perfectly fine but you weren’t going to complain.

“I actually didn’t run into you on purpose, that was my friends doing after he saw me notice you” he said.

You mouthed an ‘ahh’ while nodding, feigning disbelief.

“I’m serious” hyunjin laughed “I still have to thank him later; I would’ve probably chickened out”

He got quieter at the end of his sentence, his eyes jumping to your lips when you wet your lower lip with your tongue quickly.

“i-m glad he pushed you then” you replied, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pumping your blood in record time.

“yea” he inched his face closer to yours as you tilted your chin up to meet him in the middle “me too”

His eyes switched from your lips to your eyes one more time before closing the gap between the both of you.

His lips were firm but soft at the same time in the way they moulded against yours, you swore you could hear lia squealing from somewhere but maybe you were just hearing things.

But when his tongue touched yours in the most tentative way you lost contact to what was going on around you, slinging your arms tighter around his neck and deepening the kiss.

A tiny groan escaped hyunjins throat when you carded your fingers through his hair to tug on it and release some of the adrenalin that rushed through you.

He was slow and explorative and let you take control from time to time before sucking on your lower lip and making you loose it.

You didn’t know how many songs had passed; to be honest you didn’t even remember what song was playing when you started kissing.

All you knew in that moment was hyunjins lightly flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dark glistening eyes.

“let’s go somewhere else?” he questioned in a whisper when you bit your lip, nodding at his question.

He grabbed your hand in his before manoeuvring the both of you through the dancing and celebrating crowd.

Before you knew it, hyunjin pulled you into the entrance hall of the university where multiple people had the same idea as you.

Couples scattered across the big room, some just talking, most of them however making out heavily.

“come on” he softly tugged at your hand, smiling when your gaze falls on him.

He lead you up the big flight of stairs onto a floor of the building you’ve never been to, stopping in front of a random room before pulling a small set of keys out of his back pocket.

After unlocking the door, he opened it to let you step inside.

It was a dance studio, the wall right across from you was just one huge mirror through which you could see the big couch in the back of the room and the water dispensers next to it.

“why do you have the keys for this room?” you asked, giggling.

Hyunjin grinned as he closed the door “I’m a dance major, we all have keys for the practice rooms”

“that’s so cool” you beamed “I wish I could dance” you looked around the room, walking towards the mirrored wall a little bit.

“you were moving just fine earlier” hyunjin came up behind you, nimble hands finding your waist as he looked you up and down through the mirror intensely, now that you were under the bright lights of the room.

You couldn’t help but to smile a little at that, the tight little glitter dress that you had chosen really did accentuate your curves in the best way possible, paired with the cute black heels which made your legs look way longer than they actually are.

“but that was like club sexy dancing, you know?” you elaborated.

“hm” he hummed amusedly “whats wrong with sexy club dancing?” you turned around to him.

He didn’t look to shabby himself, all in black, a chic button up with some jeans and a belt; accessorized with rings on his pretty fingers, a  dainty silver necklace and some small earrings.

Some might say he was underdressed, but the way he carried himself with such confidence, and that face of his must for sure be a panty dropper, you thought.

“nothing but… I don’t know, teach me something” you pleaded.

“what do you want me to teach you?” he laughed.

“I don’t know a pirouette or something” you suggested, laughing as well.

“okay” he grinned “this is like the base stance” he positioned himself correctly before looking at you to see if you were following his instructions.

“mhm” you hummed, replicating what he was doing.

“and then you get momentum with one leg to be able to swing yourself around, like this” hyunjin explained before executing a perfect pirouette and ending it back in the base stance.

“that was fast” you chuckled.

“your turn” he grins before moving behind you “try to keep your eyes on yourself in the mirror otherwise you’ll loose balance”

“okay” you said unsurely.

“I’ll catch you if you fall” he winked at you, at which you scoff playfully before carefully swinging yourself into a pirouette.

You landed on wobbly legs but before you could tip over hyunjin stabilized you with a firm grip on your hips.

“you’re a natural” he grinned at you through the mirror.

“well thank you” you playfully feigned cockiness before he spun you around himself.

A few seconds pass of the both of you taking in each others features in silence, the only thing you could hear was the faint music of the party downstairs, before hyunjin spoke up.

“can I kiss you?”

You fell into giggles again as you let your forehead rest against his collarbone before looking up again “we’ve kissed before”

“yea but that was like a moment and I don’t want to catch you off guard or anything” he mumbles cutely.

“mm” you nod “ you can kiss me”

And with a smile, he does.

You weren’t surprised when his first gentle ministrations turned into more desperate ones rather quickly because you could feel the warmth spread in your lower regions as well.

He walked the both of you over to the couch, only parting from your lips when he sat down on the black leather material of the couch.

“come here, pretty girl” he took your hand to help you straddle him, your dress riding up but you couldn’t care less if he saw your safety shorts, and he didn’t seem to care either by the way he feverishly connected your lips again.

His hands travelled down to squeeze at your waist before smoothing over your ass and grabbing a handful of each cheek, you moaned into the kiss when you realized how big his hands were.

Your own hands were squeezing at his shoulders before one moved into his soft hair while the other softly rested on his cheek.

The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth clinking together and tongues licking at each other.

The things that riled you up the most however were his groans and praises.

“you’re so fucking sexy” he groaned before moving down to kiss at your jaw and down your neck.

A needy whimper escaped from your throat when he started suckling the sensitive skin at the base of your throat.

“fuck-hyunjin” you moaned when his teeth grazed over your clavicle.

Your hands fumbled before landing on his belt, at which he pulled away from your skin, gently taking your hands off of his belt.

“I’d love to take you out first, actually” his pretty kiss swollen lips twitched up into a shy smile as he pants.

“oh” you were taken aback, you were almost certain that this was something regular for him “I thought-“

“I mean if you just want to fuck we can fuck of course” he chuckled “but- I actually think you’re really cute and fun and I’d love to get to know you better”

Your mouth stood a little agape “uh- I mean-I” you stuttered, your brain not functioning properly because of the alcohol running through your veins but also him!

“its okay if you just want, you know-“

“no!” you blurted out all over sudden, making him flinch a little “sorry, uhm- its just been a while since I had a date” you smile apologetically.

His expression visibly brightens “that’s okay” he giggled “so is that a yes?”

You grinned, leaning in to just barely brush your lips with his, his head twitching upwards in an attempt to connect them fully.

“yes” you whispered, at which he smiled brightly before pulling your in for a kiss by your neck.

-(flashback end)

“y/n”

“hey, y/n” you grumble when you feel someone gently rocking your shulder.

“mmm-what?” you peek your eyes open just to see hyunjin smile at you.

“good morning sunshine” he teases as you sit up in your seat when you realize you aren’t driving anymore.

“just kidding its not morning” he says as you look around your car, realizing your on a parking lot.

“where the fuck are we?” you whip your head towards him “did you bring me here to kill me? kidnap me?”

“wha?- no” he laughs “no, I’m sorry. Right after you fell asleep there was this huge traffic jam because of an accident and we stood there for almost 3 hours so I drove off and found this” he points out the rear window, where you see a small motel building.

You look back at him before checking the time on your phone, seeing it was indeed almost midnight.

“fuck” you swear to yourself.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to keep driving because I was getting tired so I thought maybe-“ hyunjin starts rambling guiltily, not wanting you to thing that this was an attempt to get in your pants.

“hey” you put your hand on his shoulder after taking off your seatbelt “this is good, you made the right decision I think we both could use some sleep” you say.

You each take your suitcases and walk inside, it’s an old building but it looks pretty clean for a motel off of the highway.

“good evening you two” an old lady sits behind the, probably just as old, reception.

“good evening, could we get 2 single rooms, please” hyunjin speaks up politely.

“I’m afraid we only have 2 double bed rooms available, if you’d like to take them, they will however be more expensive than the rooms for one” she explains politely.

“its okay, we’ll take one of those, please” you decide, hyunjins head snapping towards you.

“is that okay?” you ask him.

“yea- sure” he nods.

“alright, room 301 it is” she hands you the key before stating that you’ll have to checkout before 12 pm and what the room costs.

“do you accept card?” hyunjin asks at which the friendly old lady nods before taking his card and swiping it through her little machine.

“I’ll venmo you half of what you paid” you say after unlocking room 301.

He tsk’s at you before shaking his head “don’t, it was my idea so I’ll pay”

“are you sure?” you ask closing the door behind you when he turns on the lights.

“yup-oh” he exclaims.

“this room is cute” you say, it’s small but the walls are a soft sunflower yellow, decorated with paintings of autumn leaves .

The bed looks clean, and when you smell the mouse gray blankets and pillows, they smell fresh as well.

“stop smelling the pillows” hyunjin laughs.

“I’ve never been to a motel, I thought everything would be dirty or ancient” you confess comically.

He chuckles as he comes out of the small bathroom “the bathroom is clean too, don’t worry” he says when you look at him expectantly.

“I’ll sleep on the floor if you want” he offers as you open your suitcase to get out your toothbrush and pj’s.

“it’s fine, hyunjin I’ve slept in the same bed as a male before” you joke.

“well how am I supposed to know that?” he counters, at which you throw your pj shorts at him out of reflex.

When you realize what you had done it was too late, he was already holding them out in front of him before giggling.

“very cute choice” he mocks the small white shorts with red hearts all over it.

“stoop” you whine, trying to fish it out of his hands but he holds them over his head like a kindergartener.

“I remember why I don’t like you” you pout, crossing your arms.

His face drops alongside with his arms “I thought we were past that”

You use his moment of weakness to snatch your shorts out of his hands “gotcha”

-

“see I told you I was gonna take you out” hyunjin beams at you before looking down at the various snacks he took from the motels vending machine, which were laying in between the both of you on the bed.

“and so luxurious too” you joke, crossing your legs.

“only the best for you” he grins when you open a pack of fruit jellies.

“you know, I was thinking about new years” you say “ and I realized that it was your fault!”

Hyunjin throws his head back as he groans playfully “why?”

“if you hadn’t lost your phone when we got back downstairs, I wouldn’t have had to write my number on your arm; or you could’ve just given me your number and I could’ve text you. But you didn’t even know your own number!” you laugh in reminiscence.

“listen” he laughs “I was drunk and you’re hot! I couldn’t think” he defends himself before taking a bite off a chocolate bar.

You blush a little but play it off with a laugh.

“but yes, I admit, it was indeed my fault” he dramatically holds his hand in front of his eyes.

“yeeees!” you exclaim victoriously.

“I’m kidding though” you pat his knee “I forgive you”

“I’m glad” he smiles.

After the both of you are done eating way too many sweets, you find yourself being really comfortable when talking to hyunjin.

He’s funny, doesn’t seem like he’s full of himself and just in general seems like a very kind person.

“I thought you were a fuckboy when me met” you confess, looking at him.

Propped on one elbow looking down at you, while you lay on your side towards him, his face illuminated only by the little lights on each of your nightstands.

“you did?” he asks confusedly.

“yea” you chuckle “you were so confident and…sexy I don’t know” you place your hand over your face in embarrassment.

“oh that was the liquid courage talking, I’m usually pretty shy” he shakes his head smilingly when you peek through your fingers.

“don’t lie” you push his shoulder softly.

“I’m serious!” he laughs.

“you were the first guy to approach me at a party” you pause “like ever”

“no way, you’re lying now” he furrows his brows.

“nope” you shake your head.

“but I was really close to not talking to you as well, I’m sure there were many guys before me that just didn’t have the liquid courage, like I did” he speculates.

“maybe” you say.

“have any exes?” he asks after a few seconds.

“yea, one”

“well how did you meet him?”

“he showed me around on my first day of freshman year, I transferred like in the middle of the first semester so I wasn’t with any other freshmen” you tell him.

“why’d you break up if I may ask?” hyunjin asks carefully.

“oh we were only together for like three weeks, you can’t even call I relationship. He used me to make his hot ex jealous and cheated on me with her” you say “but hey they’re back together at least” you scoff.

“i’m sorry” he mumbles at which you look up at him.

“it’s not your fault” you chuckle.

“well, still no one should feel that way” he says “you know that you were way too good for him right?”

You nod.

“what about you? Have any exes?” you ask back.

He snickers “only one in seoul”

“why didn’t you last?”

“it was a long distance situation, she was super jealous and couldn’t trust me. which I can understand to a certain degree but everytime I went out she wanted me to facetime her and show her what kinds of people were there with me. That was just too much” he explains.

“wow” you chuckle “that doesn’t sound fun either”

Hyunjin shakes his head “nope, but hey we got rid of ‘em, didn’t we?”

“yea” you giggle “plus if I hadn’t broken up with him I would’ve probably never gone to the new years eve party”

“I guess I owe him something then” he grins as you scooch up on the bed.

“can I kiss you?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.

“hm?” hyunjins eyes almost spring out of his head.

“I don’t want to catch you off guard” you grin as you repeat his words from the night you met, sitting up.

He licks his lower lip as a grin stretches over his face as he sits up as well “do your worst”

You get up on your knees to shuffle over to him, when you get close enough hyunjin grabs one of your thighs and lifts it over his legs so you’re straddling him.

Once you sit down on his lap, your eyes lock again and you’re once again baffled as to how someone can be so god damn attractive.

His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips expectantly, a shaky breath leaving his lips when you lean in.

Your lips connect and it feels like all the pent up energy of liking him since that night finally gets set free, sparks glowing behind your lit and his hands leaving a trail of fire where ever they go.

They squeeze at your thighs and waist, pulling you impossibly close to himself.

A whimper tears from your throat when his tongue licks at yours, he tastes like chocolate and what could only be described as him.

He moans into the kiss when you tug at the blonde locks that weren’t pulled back into the ponytail; before pulling the hair tie out of his hair to free it and finally card your fingers through all of the blonde glory.

Before you realize what’s going on, hyunjin lifts the both of you before dropping you on your back and crawling above you.

The fact that he just lifted the both of you from a sitting position as if you weigh nothing makes you feel all types of hot.

“you’re so hot holy shit” you pant as you push his long hair out of his face.

“ditto” he only grins before attaching his lips to your exposed collarbone and sucking a bruise into the skin.

“take it off” you moan as you tug on the dark blue calvin klein shirt he’s wearing.

His lips release the skin of your collarbone before sitting up to pull the shirt over his head.

If your mouth wasn’t already open from your heavy breathing, you would’ve opened it now because his body is more sculpted and toned than you had expected.

Your hand lifts to smooth over his abs, muscles flexing as he connects your lips again.

His one hand slides from your waist up to cup one of your breasts, gently palming the soft flesh.

“I know I said I wanted to take you out first but-“ he mumbles against your lips.

“you bought me a lovely dinner” you interrupt him, threading your fingers through the hair that’s falling down into his vision.

He grins, dropping a short peck to your lips before his the grin gets wiped off his face “I don’t have a condom with me”

“I’m on the pill” you let him know “I got tested before the lockdown and I haven’t been with anyone since soo…”

“yea, me too, I was tested a few months ago” he nods.

You nod back, biting your lip as you absently play with his hair.

“do you trust me?” hyunjin asks, observing your demeanour.

“yea- yea I do I’m just nervous” you smile awkwardly.

“no” he coos before kissing you “why are you nervous?”

“just haven’t been with anyone for a while” you confess.

Hyunjin nods understandingly “if you don’t want to do this we’ll stop”

“no I really want to” you look into his eyes as confidently as you can.

“okay” he smiles, planting his lips on yours again.

“can i?” his voice gives you goosebumps when he mumbles against the sensitive skin under your ear, his fingers slowy undoing the loose knot of your heart shorts.

“yes” you say when he locks eyes with you.

“I love these shorts” he softly presses a kiss to your knee, trying to calm your nerves a little, before he gently rocks your hips to pull them off of you.

You blush a little out of embarrassment but smile when you lift your hips to help him.

“cute” he whispers when he see’s your panties have a little bow on the front.

He chuckles when you hide your face in embarrassment, pulling you closer to him again by your thighs before you let him kiss you again.

“can I take this off too?” hyunjin whispers, softly pulling at the fabric of the tank top you’re wearing, at which you nod.

You are still wearing a bra when he pulls it off so you take it into your own hands and unclasp your bra.

Your nipples stiffen a little at the sudden exposure to air, as well as to hyunjin’s admiring gaze.

“fuck” he muses when palming your breasts in his big hands, gently pushing them together an running his thumbs over your nipples.

A whimper involuntarily leaves your lips when he wraps his plump lips around one of the perked up nubs and sucks gently.

“so fucking pretty, princess” you feel yourself pathetically clench around nothing at his praise.

You feel one of his hands wander downwards to provide some friction for you, he slots his lips against yours when you tentatively roll your hips against his hand.

Hyunjin feels his cock get even harder when an almost desperate moan tumbles from your lips against his. So he ads a little more pressure and starts circling your clit with two fingers, your sighs of pleasure mixing into the kiss.

“you’re so sensitive baby” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours “can I go down on you?” he grazes his lips over your chest, looking up at you seductively.

You nod as you bite your lip, hyunjin placing a few kisses on your tummy before shortly sitting up to also free you from your soaked panties.

The first stripe he licks up your slit, and how he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit expertly sends you to heaven.

His hands are gripping your thighs to prevent you from closing your legs, your hands are tangled in his hair and the sheets.

“hyunj-fuck” you cry out when his tongue enters you.

He carefully prods one finger at your entrance “is that okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust.

“yea” you sigh.

Once you adjust to one finger, he adds a second one, curling them upwards to search for that specific patch inside of you.

“yes-fuck right there” you moan when his fingers press onto the sweetest spot inside of you, tugging at his hair a little harshly. But you feel him moan against you, getting lost in your taste as he sucks your clit in between his soft lips.

Your hips buckle against his mouth as your eyes roll backwards, feeling the warmth of your orgasm approach rapidly.

“fuck fuck yes-hyunjin” you cry out just before he tipped you over the edge with his skillful ministration, your orgasm rushing up your spine and into your head, endorphins spreading everywhere.

A cry of pleasure fills the room as your thighs starts trembling with the aftershocks, clamping around his head when he drives you into overstimulation.

“oh-shit-“ you pant as you softly pushed on his forehead to get him away from your clit, his fingers still inside you, guiding you through your high.

He nibbles on your inner thigh apologetically. You can still hear your heartbeat in your ears after hyunjin removes his fingers from you and sits up, gently holding your legs together to help you calm down.

“fuck” you mewl, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

He’s wanted to do this for so long and there you are, with all of your naked glory in front of him.

While he’s daydreaming about you, you sit up and start fiddling with his sweatpants.

“you want more?” he quips, once he realises what you’re doing, leaning in to kiss you.

“mhm” you humm into the kiss affirmitavely when his hand holds you close to him by your jaw.

With a quick last peck to your lips he simultaneously shimmies the soft black sweats and his boxers off of himself.

You apparently visibly gulp at the sight of his cock because hyunjin smirks cockily “like what you see?” as he crawls above you again, his lips finding yours again and not waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know if you’ll fit” you mumble when he suckles at the soft nook of skin under your ear.

“we can stop here” he offers softly before locking eyes again.

You shake your head as you reach down to fist his length, slowly pumping it and smearing the few drops of precum around.

“no, you’re just really big” you huff with a shy smile on your lips at which hyunjin groans.

“you’re gonna be the death of me, you know?” he mutters against your lips before kissing you deeply, his hand smoothing over the slope of your waist before coming up to gently pinch at one of your nipples.

Eliciting a soft high pitched moan from you, this only spurs him on.

Rolling his tongue against yours desperately and making you taste yourself before sinfully sucking at the wet muscle.

All the while you’re stroking him with your small hand before cupping his balls, as if he didn’t already feel like he’s gonna blow his load way too early.

“please” you whine, guiding his reddened tip towards your entrance.

Hyunjin releases a shaky breath before replacing your hand with his, rutting his hips against yours a few times, coating his length in your wetness.

This already had your toes curling, suppressing a whine as you lock your legs around his waist.

“tell me if it hurts, yea?” he breathes, only pressing inside you after you nod, dropping a kiss to your swollen lips.

“fuck” he swears softly, tucking his face in the crook of your neck when he breaches your tight walls for the first time.

Your fingers tighten in his hair at the back of his neck when a subtle sting flares up inside of you.

“ah-“ your body flinches a little when he presses further inside, hyunjin notices, observing your expression before kissing your cheek and sitting up slowly.

“you’re doing so good, baby” he lifts his thumb to his lips, swiftly kitten-licking the digit before bringing it to where your bodies join.

Gently rolling your clit under his thumb to distract you from the pain.

“you look so perfect like this” his other hand travels over your stomach to gently squeeze at your breasts “all spread out for me”

You whimper, arching your back when hyunjin thrusts into you carefully; the pain slowly subsiding and the ache to be fully filled up by him growing exponentially when his cock rubs against your g spot.

“hyunjin” you moan, gripping onto his hand, which is resting atop your breast.

“yes baby, I’m here” he groans at how tight you feel once he’s balls deep inside of you, abandoning your clit to grab you by the hips for leverage.

His other hand resting on your cheek now, after a few trusts you moan “harder, please”

Hyunjin groans and fulfils your wish, at one particularly harsh thrust, you latch your lips around his pointer and middle finger, sucking at them.

“oh my god-that’s so fucking hot” he grunts through clenched teeth.

His cock dragging along your walls deliciously, filling you up to the brim as you hum around his slender fingers in pleasure.

“you like my hands that much baby?” his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist is rough , the contrast to how sweet he was just a few minutes earlier had you clench around him furiously.

“fuck-“ he breathes when you nod to the best of your abilities, eyes wide open and holding his gaze.

You only release his fingers from in between your lips in favour for a loud high pitched moan when his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing harsh circles into the bud.

“-gonna cum-huynjin” you dig your nails into his biceps, eyes squeezing shut.

“yea?” he grits through his teeth the fingers that were previously trapped in your mouth now wrapping around your bared throat.

Not squeezing tightly, just resting there as if to show you that you’re his now.

Your thought gets confirmed when he rasps “you’re gonna date me after this, right pretty girl?”

You do look so pretty right now, tits bouncing and skin slapping because of the fast rhythm that he’s snapping his hips into yours, not to mention the subtle sheen of sweat that’s coating the both of you.

A desperate breathy chuckle tumbles from your lips “ yes-yes fuck” you feel your second orgasm creeping up on you.

“cum for me princess, all over my cock” he urges you on, his tip hammering into the sweet spot inside of you repeatedly before you crash into your second high of the night.

Your body convulses in pleasure as you call out his name mixed with profanities, your toes curling so hard you’re not sure if you can ever uncurl them again, and your nails probably leaving painful indents in his skin.

His thumb on your clit slows down until you grab his hand for him to stop, his hand around your neck grabs your free one, holding both of your hands over your head now.

“so good, baby” he mumbles, kissing your lips; mostly just breathing into each other as he rocks you through every wave of your orgasm.

Hyunjin looses himself in you not long after with a guttural moan and his eyes squeezing shut.

You coax him through it when he rests his face against your neck again, running your fingertips through his damp hair and over his broad back, muscles tensing under your gentle touch.

i“don’t fall asleep on me” you whisper sneakily, grinning when he chuckles against your neck, tickling the soft skin there.

He props himself up again to scan over your features, pushing some hair out of your face before kissing you tenderly.

“you okay?” his hand resting at your temple as he gently runs his thumb over your hairline.

“more than” you assure him, cupping his cheeks to pull his lips onto yours again.You think you can never get enough of his lips, anything about him for that matter; not when he makes you feel so cared about and safe.

“so does this mean we’re dating now?” he whispers after he has cleaned you up and tucked the both of you in bed.

“hmh” you nod your head sleepily, positioned on his bare chest.

“so I can spoon you once we fall asleep?” he asks, grin evident in his voice.

“you can spoon me but you can’t wake me up in the middle of the night if you get horny” you mumble jokingly, enjoying his fingers running down your spine as your eyelids get heavier.

“okay” he giggles softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before you whisper your good nights to each other.

And as promised, he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night because he’s horny.

It’s you who wakes him, because after 10 months of wasted time, you have a lot of catching up to do.

-

a/n: oml this is my first ever long fic so pls pls pls give me feedback, i had so much fun writing his even though it made me feel even more single but hey :))))

allsooo i waited til after work to publish this and i just saw i hit 500 followers?!?!?! thats crazy to me omg i started this like 2 months ago and so many ppl liked my stuff so much that they decided to follow me?? so i just wanna say thank u thank u thank u for hitting the follow button even though im very unorganized and everything i do is spontaneaous and not thought out well. but hey i guess there is a reason that u followed me so thank u!

(i’d love if u sent me an ask with the first one of my writings that u stumbled across, and how <3 ...only if u want tho no pressure) 

anyways thank u so much for reading if you’ve made it this far! i hope you have a great day/ night! much love

-aj

(this is a work of fiction and does not represent the real actions of stray kids or hwang hyunjin)

[fallindomino]

how i would have changed s2 of hsmtmts

obvious disclaimer but im not a screenwriter or anyth so im not claiming what i want is best, this is just for fun lololol

okay so first of all nini would still have dropped out of yac but she wouldn’t have gone back to east, she would have transferred to north bc she was too ashamed to tell anyone she left at first and maybe she still wants to explore who she is away from ricky and the others

nini could join north’s batb and this way maybe we could have some playful rivalry with lily and nini and more scenes with antoine shdhdjdj also it could have been a great opportunity to flesh out lily’s character so those scenes where she reaches out to ricky and her confession at the end of the season actually make sense lol

speaking of ricky ,,, i think he should have left the play at some point hear me out. he only joined in the first place because of nini and barely wanted to do it at all once he realized he wasn’t gonna be able to perform with her. he could have joined crew and been a manager with natalie or smth considering he rlly does see the theater gang as a second family. also this would leave so much room for ej and ricky development and bants since ej joined the av club and began to pursue film. they could have some convos where idk ricky asks ej how he figured out what he wanted to do after duke didn’t work out and ricky could actually develop some interests that arent the play or nini ,,, maybe fucking art club i mean he did p good on that centerpiece for carlos’ quinceañera.

with ricky not being the beast anymore i think seb should take his place that would be soooo good. and since seb isn’t chip anymore carlos won’t make those snide comments about chip being a small unimportant role and we can just cut that whole fight bc it was dumb and bad. we could still have seb being insecure that carlos is only dating him bc there aren’t really any other gay guys at school. in a heartbeat is great and i did like ricky being supportive in the background it was kinda funny too idk dhdjdjfj

ooh i almost forgot abt rini ahshdj okay so i still think they should break up. but in my version there’s no ricky pulling an ej 1.0 and deleting comments off of nini’s insta, cause with ricky in art club and nini at north trying to figure out what she wants i think one of them would realize that they’re going in different directions and only got back tgt because they made each other feel safe cause what they had was familiar. this could be triggered by ricky mentioning smth abt nini at yac and then nini breaks down and tells him that she dropped out and is at north and doesn’t know where she’s going. and then they can both realize they aren’t good for each other rn and have a less tragic mutual break up.

honestly i really liked the scene of nini taking charge after miss jenn freaked out cause with the character detail of nini giving every person in the cast of productions she’s in a thank you note she just seems really like someone who is suited to lifting others up. this could still be explored at north, maybe she could help lily through her issues that were briefly implied in ep 11 and nini realizes she wants to be a drama teacher and encourage kids to go off book and put themselves into their acting, something she couldn’t have at yac.

okay now ej ,,, so like i said in ricky’s section, more bants between them cause i feel like friendships kinda fell by the wayside due to all the relationships so more friendship !!!! also the scene where ej tells his dad he’s not going to duke shouldn’t have been an ending scene, it should have been fleshed out with his dad pushing back saying how he pulled all these strings to get him in and ej saying he doesn’t wanna go if his own hard work couldn’t get him there. and also more scenes of ej doing av club things !!! and realizing he rlly likes film and wants to do it OMG IT WOULD BE SO COOL IF HE BROKE THE FOURTH WALL AND ASKED THE DOCUMENTARY CREW ABT THE FILM INDUSTRY god i would love that. the only scene we rlly got of ej doing film things was at the quinceañera which made me kinda sad. uhhh also i just wanted to specifically mention how ej got mr mazzara that job at cal tech bc it really showed how he wanted to be there for people not just for gina, who he had a crush on, but for mr mazzara who supported him outside of romance, so i wanna keep that for sure.

gina !!! okay so i mostly liked her arc in this season, the only changes i would make would be to flesh it out a teeny bit (god this hypothetical s2 would have to be like 22 eps at least shdjdjdjfj) anyways besides ashlyn singing home to get gina to stay i think there should be a scene where they actually talk in her room abt how gina feels safer when shes on the run (second chance reference ilysm) hhhh and also a scene of her and carlos actually working out compromises for their choreo cause i liked that bit of development too and fleshing that out would make gina an even better foil for lily, who felt a need to hog the spotlight like gina used to. with gina’s own arc fleshed out her character would feel more whole independently from romance and portwell would be even more rewarding than it is in the current s2. the only thing i would really change abt portwell is that they would kiss !!! in the finale but thats bc im biased.

ashlyn should have gotten a more fleshed out storyline about being insecure about not being a good enough belle or the typical belle. there were some throwaway lines when north did their typical dramatics but the only two real scenes that showed it were when ash talked to big red about it and when she was telling nini she wanted to do a run in “home” bc lily did it. ashlyn should get more screen time where she has to grapple with the reasons she doesn’t feel good enough and big red can still support her but also gina too bc i would like more roommate besties interaction.

kourtney could still date howie, that harry potter shit was cute but there needs to be smth else for kourtney’s arc. idk she’s still into fashion so maybe she could be out here trying to create her own line or smth? this doesn’t have to be resolved in s2 like making a wholeass line takes time and she could work on it into a potential s3. kourtney just didnt get much outside of howie and the stuff at the beginning of the season where she said nini inspired her to be independent and that's why she got a job was just dropped?? so i think that fashion could fill that for her if she’s still dating howie cause like having her whole arc just be the pizza place kinda overlaps w big red’s mini arc abt how he wasn’t settling for hospitality, its what he wants to do with his life.

ik what ur thinking. anna, even if you added more episodes, where would u find the room to add all these plotlines?? well first we cut (most of) the seblos fight, so thats some time saved. honestly most of the time that we r going to gain is going to be from cutting ms jenn’s time. things like ms jenn’s and nini’s car ride would get cut, but mostly all of ms jenn’s romances would get cut down. considering she’s the teacher and isn’t actually a character with an arc how does she have THREE love interests this season?? like all of the weird tension between her and zack can be cut, like just some short scenes of them being competitive can stay. all of the stuff with ricky’s dad can go bye bye we don’t need it. i did like her w mr mazzara so most of that can stay i just didn’t like how he said he would give up cal tech for her, ew no that would be gone.

the MENKIES !!!! this is the last thing im gonna address cause in a perfect world every character would get a long fleshed out arc but then the season would be waaay too long and also im mostly trying to work within material the show gave so this is mostly made up of “realistic” deviations from what actually happened. lol idk what that even means it just makes sense to me. but anyways!! uhhh bro idk i thought them dropping the menkies was funny but it also made the finale really BAD lmao. in this finale, seb is the beast, east still had to deal w the fact that they’re underfunded compared to north but no one is injured, lily is less of a poorly written character and maybe ppl are even rooting for her, and wow i just realized i never actually said what role i think nini should have in north’s show. OOH she could be student director instead of lily cause lily both being in the play while also directing was weird considering omg i just checked and according to her wiki page shes a FRESHMAN?? and they let her be student director? lol hell nah. okay so with all that in mind ,,, the menkies should have been the season cliffhanger instead of portwell. east and north should both be nominated, both schools perform at the menkies, and then the award winner is about to be announced and THATS when it cuts to natalie and the end of the season.

one, this actually gives more tension for a summer s3 as we would be waiting to see the consequences of whichever school won. also i bet people would be wondering if nini’s gonna be transferring back to east or staying at north. people would also prob wonder if ej would be getting the scholarship if east won and what that would mean for his interest in film.

lmao that got longggg and idk if anyone’s even gonna read this but it was fun to do :D

[leejeongz]

nsfw a-z CHOI HYUNSUK (treasure)

🔅highly requested so i hope that you’re all happy with this and it’s what you wanted 🥺 these are so fun to write🤗🔅

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

the nicest boy on the planet. he’ll get you water and will clean you up. he becomes your little puppy and would do ANYTHING for you. he asks you if you’re okay a LOT and is super soft and giggly with you. also tonnes of compliments 🥺

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he likes his mouth and what it can do to you. using it on any part of your body has you moaning… even just gentle kisses. he likes that he has that influence on you and uses it to his advantage.

on you his fav is… he doesn’t have one? he can’t find anything he likes more than the rest, everything about you is perfect to him and he tells you that regularly. but he is a big fan of your legs and how sexy they look 👀

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

on your face, in your mouth or on your chest. not really a fan of finishing inside because 1. he prefers safe sex 2. HE DOESN'T WANT A CHILD YET and so doesn't wanna cum in the condom either lol just in case. likes to cum on ur tits because it looks nice and it makes him cum thinking about it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he likes sending and receiving voice notes. it’s easier to get off to when you guys aren’t together and faster than texting. enjoys phone calls too but doesn’t have time to think before he speaks on the phone so that’s why voice notes >>. plus they last forever, he can return to them at any time.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

keeps it on the low because he doesn’t wanna make you think you have to “live up to previous partners” or “he’s just using me as a statistic” but he’s had a lot of sexual partners. most were romantic partners (as romantic as 3 month relationships can be) but he’s probably had to relieve stress with other people on occasion. he knows what he’s doing, but he doesn’t wanna compare you to other partners so he keep all of his experiences separate from whatever you’re doing together if that makes sense.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

he likes hitting it from the back, doggy all the way. his hands rest on your ass and spread your cheeks occasionally. also gives him the best angle to spit on his dick before pushing it in (doesn't just rely on spit alone as lube tho, he learnt that the hard way).

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i wouldn’t call him goofy in the moment, but he’s not serious either. he’s just having a good time and so are you. he still remains the same person you see everyday, fun loving and sweet.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

the first few times he knew you were gonna do stuff, he shaved or at least trimmed. but the care slowly started fading out and he stopped doing anything down there. if you don't like it, that’s your problem, not his, it’s a lot of effort to go to for someone who clearly doesn’t accept him for him.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

everything you do, it’s full of love, and it shows. he treats you like his queen and nothing less.

sometimes he can be distant tho, especially during quickies, he has one goal and that is to cum, you’re simply there to assist at that time. but after he’ll show you all the love in the world, he’ll even thank you hehe.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he does it in the shower most of the time. it’s private and also reminds him of times he’d had sex in there so it’s a winner.

the idea of having sex or looking back at sex is mainly what he gets off to, but he uses porn ocassionally when he’s jacking off in bed.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

PRAISE (giving)- likes to tell you when you’re doing something well and likes to let you know that you look good throughout. it’s his favourite thing to do because he means it. he tells you that you look good on your knees because you do, he tells you that he loves the way you moan because he does. he recognises that this makes him vulnerable but it builds trust.

daddy- only if you’re okay with it bc some people don’t really enjoy it for obvious reasons, but he likes you calling him daddy. he likes your voice anyway, but dropping “daddy” innocently into sentences not only turns him on but also makes him eager to please. you’re his baby girl so it’s only natural that he’s your daddy. he has to treat you right.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he’s up for it anywhere when he’s in the mood. he loves shower sex. although a little impractical and kinda annoying at times, he loves being able to make out with you in a hot and steamy room and fuck you agasint the shower glass.

he’s also a fan of just basic on the bed, on top of the sheets. it’s convenient and hard to mess up.

both places mentioned he considers quite romantic too, which is why he likes them.

very very very turned on by the idea of fucking you in a bathroom or dressing room backstage but he isn’t sure if you’d be up for it or not, definitely something you’d have to initiate but he’s love it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

your voice and your moans - you turned on = him turned on. hearing you moan or talk in the way you know he likes… HARD ON STRAIGHT AWAY!!!!!

running your hand through his hair - it sends him crazy. his eyes roll to the back of his head and he has no control over himself when you do that.

wearing his clothes - especially if you wear nothing underneath. he’d encourage that shit too, constantly giving you hoodies and t-shirt’s to wear when you’re at his place.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything that puts your safety at risk. you are his happiness and seeing you suffer, even if it something you enjoy, he hates it. he also isn’t one for receiving pain himself. i think he’d not only be hurt physically but also emotionally… like why would you do that to him?

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

likes to keep it equal, always repays the favour. actually enjoys eating you out tho and it’s his ✨forte✨. let’s just say he knows what he’s doing with his tongue. he likes to hold your hand when he eats you out, like in a romantic, intimate way.

when you suck his dick, he’s the type to have his hands laced in your hair. he wouldn’t be too forceful and would let you go at your own pace. he never expects you to suck his dick, he’s not one to request a blowjob all too often, but he would never refuse one.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he would start of steady, letting you adjust and what not, before making you set the pace. you can back into him as slow or as fast as you want but after a few seconds he’ll be there to steady it out again. he’d be quite rough even though he’s attempting to be romantic, but it’s just to add a little spice.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

oh he LOVES quickies. they turn him on, even just thinking about them turns him on (and usually leads to one when possible). sex is sex and he’s game for any at anytime. most of the time these happen when people are in earshot. he tells you to be quiet but neither of you want to be. the idea of getting caught fucking you in his dressing room turns him on.

he’d actually prefer quickies to dragged out sex. fast fucking to get the job done is more appealing to him than dragging it out sometimes.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he likes to stick to what he knows. he’d rather know that what he’s doing is good and is actually making you feel good rather than experimenting with something that could go wrong.

he does take risks in the sense that he’s gonna fuck you where you guys could possibly get caught but not as far as to inflict pain or injury.

saying that, he isn’t opposed to trying something that you want to try, or something that you’ve brought from previous experiences.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he drags out the whole thing if you have the time to, spends a lot of time on foreplay. although this doesn’t happen very often, this type of sex is once in a blue moon.

as mentioned above, he loves quickies, they’re his most favourite type of sex since they happen when either of you need it, not when it’s been built up for god knows how long because he’s too busy for that.

he usually can go for two+ rounds but chooses not to. once he’s started on his aftercare, there isn’t a chance you’re getting more dick after that, you’re gonna have to wait (unless you tease him ofc 11/10 would recommend).

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he’s in two minds about them. if you already own them, he wants to see you use them and might use them on you too. if you don’t have any but you want to incorporate them, he’s not opposed to it but he’d rather you found out what you liked in relation to toys first. if you didn’t want to use them he wouldn’t even bring it up.

if you wanted to use some on him, he would let you try it out, but he wouldn’t force himself to enjoy it. if he doesn’t enjoy it he’s not letting you use it again.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’s a tease outside of the bedroom but during sex, everything is as you see it. he doesn’t want to waste time teasing you, especially if you don’t have the time.

he likes teasing you when people are around. seeing you getting all clammy in front of your friends or his friends to assert his power over you. his favourite thing you do is wink at you and smile. so innocent yet it means so much more to you than it would to someone else when he does it.

sometimes teases you unintentionally. he puts his hand a little too far up on your thigh and before you know it you’re wet and he’s just having a laugh with his friends, not even noticing what he’s done to you. time to take him to the bathroom and show him i think ;).

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

loud! groans and moans a lot, he’s not afraid to do it either, he doesn’t hold back. he knows you get turned on by his groaning just the same as he gets turned on by your moans and so he takes great pride in not being shy to make some noise.

dirty talk is a must among you pair once the initial shyness has gone. you could get off to each other’s voices alone. add that to some amazing sex and you’re all set for orgasm after orgasm.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

(i have a strange feeling that someone has written something like this before about hyunsuk (but better obvs and in more detail) but i can’t remember who… if that’s the case i promise this isn’t me stealing their idea or anything malicious).

“i’ve never done this before” you confessed, opening up your laptop to the screen he’d caught you on. you were really embarrassed that he’d caught you watching porn, but he wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest, in fact, it really turned him on. that’s why he suggested you watch it together.

“we can try it together” he encouraged, pressing the spacebar to continue the video. you turned up the volume a little, making sure you could both hear.

it took you both a few minutes to really become comfortable with the situation. you’d gotten back to imagining yourself and hyunsuk in that situation, while he studied it to pick up on anything that you might be into.

“oh” he looked over at you who was clearly deep in thought “you like blindfolds too?” he asks.

“yeah, it’s hot” you reply, not once taking your eyes off the screen.

hyunsuk looks around your room when his eyes land on your sleeping mask. he hesitates for a second, thinking he might ruin the atmosphere if he springs in on you straight away. he decides to not ask you just yet, he’s a little too tired to have sex right now, but remembers it for the next session.

you glance over towards him, his trousers and hands catching your eye before noticing that he wasn’t even watching.

“are you embarrassed? i can turn it off if you want” you question. he slowly removes his hands from over his pants and instead replaces it with yours. you begin to palm him while steadying the laptop with your other hand. the laptop was soon moved to the end of the bed. your hand was now in your underwear and his was in his boxers. the experience was surreal, it was a lot of firsts for you, you’d never even thought about rubbing one out while your boyfriend did the same next to you, but you were definitely enjoying it.

“don’t cum until i do,” hyunsuk ordered. easier said than done. “i wanna cum listening to your moans, baby”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he's smaller than average…4-5” with average thickness but he gets the job done and it doesn’t affect the pleasure he can give to you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

proper sex, 1-2 times a week. he can be horny whenever you want him to be and you both know that, but he doesn’t always wanna have sex. sometimes he’s just happy with getting you off, especially if he’s tired.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he gets a little hyper after sex and wants to stay awake just to be around you and show you how much you mean to him. falling asleep is the last thing he wants to do. if you haven’t actually had sex, just a little fondling and playing, he’d fall asleep pretty much straight away afterwards. the whole reason you pair didn’t go all the way at the time was because he was tired so…