#ur a really great friend to have
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happy birthday molly @burstingsunrise 💜
#this is not my best work BUT i had to make something for you molly!!#it's your birthday! i'm so happy and excited for you!#anyways#i do want to say something really sentimental and sweet but i literally do not have the words to so#yknow#i appreciate you lots#ur a really great friend to have#and i hope you like this mb even tho there's no coffee in it 💜💜💜#cake#molly <3#my moodboard#e*creations
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i know i've posted abt this before also but i did not have screenshots to demonstrate just HOW gently passive aggressive ingo is to volo when they talk. i have no idea if they intended it this way but he sounds so "sadly my strict standard of conduct will not let me tell you to fuck off for asking weirdly personal questions just so you can share your theories but with the subtext toolkit available to me i am VERY much shooing you out of the way so i can get back to what i was actually trying to do."
#the nemesis speaks#pla analysis#idk if it really comes across without the context of volo's whole ramble#but he really did just sort of rock up to you while you were TRYING to get through this quarry#just to be like ''hi ingo. hey tell me about your memory loss. great now listen to what I think about the whole thing''#though the exchange does also make me feel like they have had prior conversations to this effect#ingo feigns not recognizing him at first but the way he says ''continue to prioritize'' specifically makes me feel like#this is not the first time they've tread this particular ground#volo also greets ingo pretty familiarly at the start of it imo#these tags are getting long but one other thing that sort of strikes me atm and i'm curious to see if it continues#is like. this is the rudest (by his standards) ingo gets with mmmost everyone in pla#-except melli. who he is actually fairly direct with. and melli in turn doesn't rise to it really at all#for a guy who bitches at literally everyone just saying ''well guess we don't always see eye to eye!'' is like. WILDLY notable#and then ingo asks you to say hi to him later#they're friends i think. thanks for ur time
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been sober for 5 weeks today, & in a lot of ways my quality of life has greatly increased. but one thing ive never rlly heard spoken abt when it comes to sobriety is how u literally have to learn how to feel again. just a really bizarre & strange transitory period !!!
#huge rant below but just thinking out loud like this is my diary LMAOOO#like i wasnt doing anything hard i just quit smoking weed#**hard as in like hard drugs but quitting smoking was nawt easy 😭#but i smoked every single day for almost 10 yrs from late high school till my late 20s#& relying on that to like watch tv shows & de stress and hang out with friends and engage with my craft#truly fundamentally alters ur brain chemistry#like emotionally im so gray & it’s so much better than it was before bcs I sleep now#& I don’t get super angry or overwhelmed or frustrated anymore#which is truly really great#but i also don’t have the highs either which is weird !#it’s just so like coasting and i feel like now i have to reteach myself joy which is so weird#all in all tho things aren’t bad just different & it’s an adjustment for sure !
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Day 3: Patience/Focus
Prompt List
Pt. 3 of The Empire of Samadhi AU
Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 | Pt. 3 (you are here) | Pt. 4
Wordcount: 3k
Summary: Red Son is the son of an old empire, Mei is the daughter of a new one. Red Son, consumed by fire, was put into an induced stasis sleep to stop the world from burning until his family can find a way to safely remove the fire. They find a way but he never wakes up. Hundreds of years later he awakes to discover his power resides within another as she stares at him with wide eyes on fire.
To wield the fire of Samadhi requires focus. To survive around such idiocy, Red Son requires more patience than he practised whilst creating said fire of Samadhi. But before that, Mk wakes up with a spider on his nose.
Mk woke up warm.
He hadn’t been warm in a long time.
Well, honestly he hadn’t really woken up in a long time. It was all muffled sounds, freezing cold and blurry bits of scenes unfolding in front of him here and there while he was unable to move or think clearly. It was… weird to be warm and be able to twitch his fingers without first being told to. But… nice. He really thought it was a dream at first.
He could hear muffled voices, two of them. One familiar and one not. His body ached despite the warmth as he slowly gained consciousness. His vision started out a little blurry when he opened his eyes, then adjusted after a few moments and he was greeted with a small black spider sitting on his nose.
Mk screamed.
He was already halfway up the cave wall, cramming himself into a space he could fit by the time Someone came running in, fire flickering around them. They looked around wildly, alarmed, fists clenched and guard up.
“Mk!”
The voice was loud and panicked and Mk would recognize it anywhere.
“Mei!”
He didn’t really think before he was practically launching himself off the cavern wall and at his best friend. He realized maybe it wasn’t the best course of action when he noticed how high up he’d been--and when he processed the fact she was on fire--but by then it was too late.
Mei yelped as he slammed into her from above and they both went crashing to the ground in a tangle of limbs, rings and fire.
Fire filled the cavern in a small, startled explosion. Mk’s skin burned with a distant memory of pain he couldn’t place the origin of, but before long it was clear the flames weren’t actually touching him. Despite the realization his breathing still came more shallowly than usual for some reason.
Mei grabbed his hand and pulled him through the smoke and flames to the mouth of the cavern. Mk shielded his eyes and gripped back tightly, the warmth of her hand seeping into his fingers and even up his arm. She was really there.
They stumbled out coughing.
“What is wrong with you people?” came an incredulous voice, one Mk didn’t recognize.
He glanced up, coughing and waving away smoke to try and see who it was coming from.
“Oh!” Mk said when he saw him. “Hello! You’re really scary looking!”
And he was pretty scary looking. With hair about as red as it could get, like, ripe tomato red, or maybe hot pepper red. It was reminiscent of many of the vegetables and different fruits he had seen in Pigsy’s kitchen over the years. He was dressed like Mk remembered his Shifu’s distant ancestor dressing in paintings and books. The clothes of a king, or maybe a prince or emperor, unmarred and pristine aside from it being a little dusty with streaks of ash and soot. His scowl was probably the scariest thing. That and his eyes, dark enough to be compared to coal, with just as little life in them. Honestly he looked like he was missing something very important, though Mk couldn’t begin to tell what it was. A smile maybe?
The man before him puffed out his chest a bit, looking almost proud. “Well at least someone knows I-”
“Don’t mind him,” Mei said to him dismissively, “he’s a big ol softie. He’d faint if we held hands in front of him.”
He spluttered. “I would not-”
“Oh,” said Mk, beaming. “Well, that’s a relief! It’s nice to meet you then, mister.”
The man spluttered.
Mei held up their intertwined hands for the man to see, grinning widely. “Look, grandpa. Holding hands.”
The man's entire face went nearly as red as his hair. He spat curses at them as he turned around and stomped away, kicking up ash as he went.
“Um…” said Mk. “He seems nice.”
“You get used to him,” Mei shrugged. She squeezed his hand lightly and glanced at him. “You okay?”
Mk blinked. “Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m good. Uh… how are you?”
Mei laughed.
At first, Mk was going to start laughing along with her, despite his confusion. But then he realized it was different from her normal laugh. It wasn’t light or giggly. It lacked that unrestrained joy that always erupted from her when she laughed. It was drenched in heavy, heavy relief. The shaky kind of relief that Mk had felt after a close brush with death during training.
Then it stuttered.
His best friend in the whole world sucked in a shuddering breath, and suddenly she was crying. Her voice was shaking between a laugh and a sob as she pulled him into a hug and held on so tightly and crushing that it made it hard to breathe.
“Mei?” He choked out. “Are you okay?” His voice was muffled by her shoulder and a piece of her hair got in his mouth. He half-spat half-blew it out of his mouth. He made a mildly grossed out noise. “Ew, ew, hair in my mouth-”
Her next laugh was torn from her like a sob and he could feel it through his entire body.
She gripped him tighter.
Something wasn’t right here.
“Mei?”
She only buried her face in his shoulder, her entire frame trembling. Mk could feel the heat from her and from the rings hovering above them. They were heavy. It almost felt like massive weights hovering over them, threatening to crash down and crush them.
With her hair out of the way Mk glanced up to look at the angry red-haired man questioningly, but whatever he was going to ask died in his throat before he could even lay eyes on him. For the first time, he saw beyond the cavern and the people in front of him.
And there was nothing but black.
Nothing but a desolate wasteland of ashes as far as he could see.
Mk gripped Mei back tightly, knees suddenly feeling like jello.
“What… What happened?”
Mei held him tighter still and all Mk could do was glance at the angry man with a lost look.
The man rolled his eyes at him. “Don’t look at me, peasant. I’m not the one with the fire.”
Mk glanced at his best friend in his arms and startled as he saw his hands for the first time.
Burns stretched over his fingers, his hands, small ones, and bad ones that looked like they would never ever go away.
Mk let out a small choked sound.
“What-?”
“I’m sorry, Mk,” Mei choked out between sobs. “I’m sorry-”
Mk wasn't sure what was happening, what had happened. He didn’t know where they were or who they were with or why his hands and everything around them was burned, or why he was afraid to look at the rest of himself, or why the clothes he was wearing felt scratchy and uncomfortable and unfamiliar. He didn’t know what the rings were floating over their head or why the fire in the cave hadn’t burned him. He didn’t know why he could only remember being cold for so long, or why now he felt warmer than ever. He didn’t know why a tiny part of him buried away in his chest felt nervous near his best friend.
Mk didn’t know what was happening, but the one thing he did know is that his best friend was crying. His best friend was crying and needed him right now. That was something he could understand just fine.
He hugged her back just as tight, squeezing until she could feel like her shaking sobs were steadied by his arms. “It's okay,” he said. “It's okay, Mei, I’m here.”
He held her tightly and Mei fell apart in his arms.
Mei and her friend talked just outside the mouth of the cave for a long time. Far too long in Red Son’s opinion. They had places to be. But when he’d attempted to tell the Dragon girl that, she’d actually snarled at him. Her friend’s hand on hers seemed to be the only thing that stopped her from actually trying to barbeque him.
The amount of patience he required just being around the two of them was already exhausting. He missed the days he could simply incinerate annoying people like them.
Eventually they stopped talking. After Mei had stopped crying. After Mk had stopped crying. After they had both stopped clinging to each other like children and crying, they finally approached him, still holding hands in a disgusting display of affection.
“Teach me,” Mei said.
“No,” Red Son said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Please?” Mk said, shuffling in place. He didn’t seem to know what to do with his free hand so he tapped it on the side of his leg awkwardly, arm swinging out away from him a bit after every tap. He was such a strange one. There was something about him, Red Son couldn’t put his finger on it, but it made him suspicious.
“No,” Red Son snarled again, this time with more venom. It was highly entertaining to watch Mk flinch, up until he glanced at Mei and saw absolute murder in her eyes. Red Son cleared his throat and looked away. “I’m not teaching you anything.”
“You taught me how to use the fire to save Mk,” Mei pointed out, infuriatingly correct.
“That’s different,” Red Son hissed out. “You weren’t fighting, so I did what I had to.”
“Well,” said Mk, chiming in in the most annoying way possible. “Wouldn't it be easier to get places if Mei knew how to use the…” he faltered a bit, glancing up at the rings hovering above Mei’s head. One of them was nearly directly over his head. Red Son narrowed his eyes and watched how Mk’s grip on Mei’s hand tightened. She squeezed back which seemed to give Mk enough steadiness to continue. “I just mean if we run into any other problems it would be better if one of us with big ol’ world-destroying power knew how to use it.”
He made a good point. A horrible good one. Good enough that it made Red Son grind his teeth and dig his nails into his arms until it hurt.
“It’s my fire,” Red Son said through gritted teeth. He missed the way his hair would flame up when he felt this way. He missed how his eyes would spark and people would stumble away, terrified of his power. As it was, the two in front of him simply stood, unphased. Mk was the only one looking even the slightest bit uncomfortable.
“Duh,” Mei said, rolling her eyes at him. “But if any of us die you won’t be getting your fire back-”
“The only one here capable of dying,” said Red Son, “is your friend here.” Mk flinched. Red Son pretended not to feel satisfied by it.
“Alright, your highness,” Mei said suddenly, releasing Mk’s hand and stepping forward. Although he’d suggested she call him your highness on several different occasions, the way she said it was devoid of any real respect. The rings above her got hotter and brighter, the fire lashing and reflecting in her eyes from within. “You shut up and listen. If you die, you won’t get your fire cause you’ll be dead. If I die, you won’t get your fire because everything will probably burn to nothing. And if Mk dies you can kiss your sweet fire goodbye because I will burn you and everything else myself if anything happens to my best friend, got it?”
Truly, her tone was something reminiscent of Red Son’s mothers. Threatening, scolding and terrifying all at once.
Red Son very nearly took a step back.
He cleared his throat. “Well… I suppose things would go… faster if you were not quite so useless.”
“Right,” Mei said, crossing her arms, unamused.
Red Son straightened up, keeping his chin tilted up. “I am not doing this because you tried to threaten me.”
“Of course not,” Mei said dryly.
Red Son bristled. “Whatever, dragon girl. Pull yourself away from your friend and I’ll show you how not to be a useless sack.”
“Thanks, grandpa!” Mei chirped, quite suddenly smiling brightly. She skipped back to Mk and took his hand in hers once again, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
Red Son scoffed.
“Um, yes, thank you Mister uh… Mister…” Mk trailed off, looking a little lost.
Red Son groaned. He tilted his head back for just a moment to pray for the long-suffering patience required to hold a conversation with these uncultured peasants. “The Demon of Samdhi. Or at least I’m told by your friend that it is now my title.”
Mk jolted. His head snapped up and he gaped at Red Son.
“Wait- you’re… you’re-”
Mei patted his shoulder. “Oooo… Yeah… I forgot to mention. Um. Mk…this is… well, the Demon of Samadhi!” She paused then waved her free hand back and forth. “Surprise…aha….”
Mk made a small choking sound. He looked quite pale. “M…Mei are you sure um… are you sure traveling with the… him is a good idea…?” He nervously glanced back at him.
Red Son bared his teeth at him in a wide grin. Mk took a step back.
It was horribly satisfying.
At least until Mei shoved her hand into his face to cover it and shoved him down out of Mk’s sight, completely ignoring his indignant cursing and outrage. “Ah, don’t worry about him. He’s a big softie.”
“I will kill you,” Red Son hissed.
“See?” Mei said. “Softie.”
“Oh,” said Mk, like he had complete faith in Mei’s judgment of character. “Phew, that’s a relief. Glad to have you on our side Mr. Demon of Samadhi!”
“I am not on your side-” Red Son attempted to choke out to no avail. They completely ignored him.
“Well, Sifu,” Mei said. “When do we start?” “When you get your hand off my face.”
“Samadhi is a meditation and a form of concentrated focus. Its meaning is a form of… bringing things together. I harnessed it to create the most concentrated form of fire that exists in this world.”
Mei sat cross legged on the ground in front of Red Son as he paced before her, his arms held behind his back loosely. She had a bored look on her face, one elbow resting on her knee and her chin in her hand. He ignored her blatant disrespect and continued.
“A true wielder of my fire, should be able to become one with it, to make it their own and wield it through the practice of meditation and focus.” His lip curled as he watched Mei glance at where a gust of wind was blowing up some loose ash. “Though I doubt you will be able to do such a thing.”
“Ehhhh… what was that?” Mei glanced back at him.
Red Son sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “If you want to learn you are going to have to listen.”
“I’m listening!” Mei said, rocking back and forth. “I’m listening real good.”
“If I could kill you right now, I would,” Red Son said.
“But you can’t,” Mei sing-songed. She giggled and winked at him.
“I hate you so much. You are a disrespect to my fire.” He turned to Mk and barked. “You there!”
Mk nearly fell backwards where he was balancing on a blackened boulder. His arms windmilled and flailed until he got himself steady and he stood up ramrod straight, with his arms at his sides.”Yes! What? I’m listening!”
Red Son groaned into his hands. “Of course, of course I’m stuck with two of the biggest idiots-” He exhaled sharply and looked up at them. “If either of you want to understand my fire you are going to have to start paying attention-”
“But I’m hungyyy,” Mei complained, continuing her rocking back and forth. “There’s nothing to eat around here.”
“And thirsty,” Mk added.
Red Son squinted at them both. “Idiots.”
He bothered to glance around. He had to admit, there was some concern to be had for the lack of resources. Red Son, of course, could go a very long time without those types of substances. Mei as well if his fire sustained her the way it had always sustained him.
But Mk was another matter.
He was more mortal than either of them. Lack of sleep got to him quickly. Even more quickly in the form of eating away at his attention. Food and water were another thing he clearly could not do long without and there was no telling how long he’d been without it already under the white lady’s influence.
And as long as Mk was distracted Mei would likely also remain distracted due to her worry for him and they’d blame him for it because of course they would.
“Fine,” he said. He planted his feet firmly on the ground to get their attention before he started his declaration. “We will continue this lesson after you two get yourself some sort of substance to consume.”
Mei blinked. “Uh… Samadhi Sifu… I don’t know how to tell you this, but… there’s not really… anything here…”
She gestured to the wasteland stretching around them. Red Son could still feel the fire going on under his feet. The only thing for miles around were half-melted boulders and rocks in a pattern that made Red Son assume it had once been a stream or river of sorts. The fire had long since eaten up any water that had run through it previously.
Mk blinked slowly, one eye closing and opening sooner than the other, a little off-beat.
“I know that,” Red Son snapped. “That’s why we’re going somewhere else.”
“Uhhhh…” said Mei. “Where… exactly?”
“I don’t have time to explain,” Red Son threw up his hands. “Ugh. Just- stand up, fool.”
Mei rolled her eyes but she did as she was told.
“Give me some fire.”
Mei blinked. “Huh?”
“Fire. Just-” Red Son sighed. “Just light the rings.”
“Oooookay…” Mei said slowly. She closed her eyes and after a moment the rings above her flickered to life.
Without missing a beat, Red Son snatched a bit of flame from the rings. Mei made a little surprised sound, leaning forward curiously. He tried not to bask under her clear admiration. He may not have been able to create his own fire now that it had been stripped from him, but he could still wield it just fine.
…In small amounts at least.
“Cool…” Mei said as she watched him draw the circle of flame on the ground.
“This,” Red Son said, “is a gateway. It will take us outside of the range of the fire, but only for a temporary time. Then we will be transported back here.”
“So… it's like… yo-yo teleportation?” Mk asked, glancing over Mei’s shoulder to see the circle.
Red Son spluttered. “What? That-that is an offensively simple way to put it-”
“But he’s not wrong,” Mei interrupted with a grin.
Red Son contemplated throwing them both into the circle and then running away, but that would simply be foolish and separate him from his fire. Instead he cursed their ashes under his breath and finished drawing the spell out.
“Do you want food or not?” He gritted out.
That at least got them moving into the circle and shutting their mouths. At least temporarily.
���Let’s go, Sifu Samadhi,” Mei said.
“I hope the saying of mortals melting in these portals is true for you two,” he said before activating it.
“Wait,” Mk said. What-?”
The portal burst into flames.
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#KNOX WRITES (me)#Monkie Kid the Empire of Samadhi AU#LEGO Monkie Kid#Monkie Kid#Monkie Kid Red Son#Monkie Kid Mei#Monkie Kid Mk#Monkie Destiny Challenge (2023)#Wooooo#ALRIGHT THAT'S THAT#The last bit of this I was gonna put into the next prompt but eh i needed the focus bit here so if the cut seems awkward that's why#you know my plan wasn't to only write snippets from this au for this prompt month but at this rate we're just gonna get thirty days of THIS#*WHEEZING*#HG;LSKFJAWEOF#ANYWAY GOOD MORNING REMEMBER TO HYDRATE#i really didn't edit this one much but#NO BETA WE DIE LIKE LBD'S HOPE FOR THE WORLD#EAT A SNACK HUG UR FRIEND HAVE A GREAT DAY
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i do miss being a little kid and creating the most vividly fucked up stories with my toys that i could
#i would say it was one of my fav little girl things but i did it with my brother mostly#and he sometimes got more into it than me#it’s great we had stories of abuse kidnapping murder#i thought up a looooot of kidnapping stories. i think it was how i coped with the intrusive thoughts of break-ins i’d get lmao#but this isn’t abt my GAD this is about my creative bloodlust#what even was a sleepover if you and ur best friend weren’t roleplaying an evil torture dungeon with her lps toys#or pretending to be foxes in the wild and getting mauled by bears#<- i was not a warrior cats kid but was friends with them. we all liked foxes so we were usually foxes#honestly i think a lot of my artistic energy is spent trying to return to that level of raw creative energy and power#it was always either violent or everyone was having sex with each other#to the kid with internalized homophobia who would jokingly torment me with ‘lesbian’ barbies in daycare (which we later got in trouble for):#thanks for helping me make the connection that lesbians were just girls who liked girls (like my aunts#also really funny that we’re both gay now#hey friends and mutuals who wants to play barbies with me and have them cannibalize each other#girlish whimsy. for free. cmon it’ll be so much fun
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On the one hand, I can understand why they didnt do anything more with the implication that Dan and Elise share a grandmother (it would retroactively make anything dan/elise ship related kinda weird) but on the other hand, can you imagine how fucking funny that dynamic would be if explored?
#not art#text post#dan vs#Your best friend marries a woman you dont like who is more similar to you than you would like to admit#she is constantly meddling in your schemes and stopping you from exacting revenge and also her parents suck#PLUS shes your long lost cousin. You are Dan#You meet this one guy whos really sweet and eventually you start dating and get married and its great.#apart from his angry friend who is always getting him into trouble YOU end up having to get them both out of. he hates you and ur parents#PLUS hes your long lost cousin. You are Elise#(no hate to dan/elise shippers btw i just cant not see them as cousins now)#been debating whether to post this for a while. fuck it.
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same soup... different day
#hello it is sarah in the tags again#i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again#venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone#anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin#back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D#i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong#i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety#its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc#anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the#isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers#isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and#i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic#anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing#i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche#also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like#ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it#and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this
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first time writing the greats i need 2 do them the correct amount of justice or else ill explode and die
#theyre so important to meeeeeeeeeeeeee#williams relationship w not only vyncent but the greats as well. in the 10 month skip. is something that can be so important. 2 me#anyway the tranches are going awesome btw. writing ram rn hes so cool and awesome.#am also going 2 for sure include alphonse later bc haha pain and suffeting#guys i really like alphonse btw . i wish we wouldve gotten a little more of his and wills dynamic its suuuuper interesting to meeeeee#head in hands. when one of the ppl in your head doesnt like one of ur friends. hell world.#i need 2 explore this in fiction. for no reason in particular !!!!!#anyway. this aint about them. this is abt william chewing on his lip and accidentally pulling half the skin on his face away from his skull.#u know. normal human body things. this is about the Worms . he wouldnt have worms yet. but im dying to give him worms guys .#ever since mey vivweylins freak week fic i have been so obsessed w william keeping a jar of maggots. that is so everything to me#anyway.
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i had a fun day 2 day ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა everyone has been so nicey 2 me all day from the minute i left my house earlier ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡
i went to a Retreat for the first time for work earlier 0: and I did SO good for being up since 2am it didn't even feel like it 💀
it was so chill i drove like an hour away but Away from the city so there wasn't rly traffic and the mountains r so pretty 2 drive thru (❁´◡`❁) got some rain n v low clouds and since it's autumn there's all these pretty colors. i took an edible on the way n was just jammin out n enjoying the scenery among the many safe opportunities 2 look
and then at the thing we got 2 do different ice breakers n go on decently long breaks; i got 2 hang in different groups n actually Talk w a bunch of ppl which i never have time for omg. it's nice working at a legal nonprofit, i would NOT want to do this with corporate mfs !! 😹
went around n said hii to the enbies and i ran up a hill that looked a lot smaller than it was, i made it like 80% of the way before my legs were immediately like no girl we're done !! but my brain was like but it's Right There, and i struggled 2 finish the climb but I Did !! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა and i was so so tired i do not remember ever being that winded before 💀 getting down was so much slower n worse bc my legs were Done and when i finally made it to the bottom i laid flat on my back for like 15m, and when when i made it back to sit n chill i still need like 10 more minutes akskska. i do not b exercising !! i just wanted 2 play it looked fun and i got excited (。ノω\。)
in between things i was working on my sister's choker n kept winding up w a group of ppl around me 2 talk to about it and just talk 2 in general n the company was rly nice (❁´◡`❁) ♡ had a lot of different kinda talks 2day!! everyone is a sweetie!! some ppl r so funny n chill and i rly hope 2 get 2 talk more casually w people perhaps As Friends when i go in 👉👈
there's one girl in particular who is rly cute n sweet and i want 2 see her again ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა when I got home finally i had 2 hop on my work laptop real quick 2 look up her name again 2 make sure i didn't forget ☝️😌 we do not work at the same office but hii i am visiting next week 🐇
yippee!!!! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა !!!
#i think i have become an introverted extrovert at some point 0:#which is rly nice bc my social anxiety was SO bad at the beginning of the year like i didn't even know where to start skskdksk#but i kinda figured it out? but it's also just being me? idk.. much 2 think. but i made good progress#i am getting a good grade in being funny and nice and talking to people !!#i want 2 kiss someone on the forehead#omg but if there's ANYONE who deserves a kiss it's this old lady who lives a few buildings down on the way to my car#where EVERY time i see her she always has something so so sweet to tell me about how i look#today she said I'm always looking fancy (。ノω\。) ♡ and more but that's the main thing i remember besides the small talk#and the first time we met she asked me if i was a model fr and she's told me I'm cute and I'm just like PLEASE SKDKDKS#i can't fully tell if you're just really sweet or kinda 👀 at me but girl u r so sweet like hello do u Want a hug or a kiss ?? i love u !!#old ladies have a warmth they fill u with that just take the weight of Everything off ur shoulders n leave u feeling full n happy!!#bless old ladies fr!! literally my favorite people to interact with always i love u abuelas everywhere u r everything to me and i would do#anything for u !!!! i miss getting to help friends grandmas w stuff as a kid 🥺 it was just always great 2 talk 2 them and be close n on#good terms n stuff :3 i was the same way with their moms hehe. hi hello i want 2 help !! (✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚)#my friend is being lame and acting embarrassed but i love you please talk to me i am so so interested and think you're really#cool and funny and sweet and wise actually ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡ i wanna be around u if u wanna hang out#even if it's as simple as getting 2 help in the kitchen n always helping w dishes n stuff ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა aaa ♡#omg i was late 2 the thing too and missed the breakfast and there's this sweet energetic old lady who's always like#omg u didn't get to eat? do u want this? can i get you some coffee or tea? and I'm always just like no no it's okay I'm gonna get it but#appreciate the offer and just ૮ – ﻌ–ა she is always looking out 4 me !! but she's just a sweetie like that !!#i think sharing food is a universally good way 2 make friends and it always warms my heart 2 meet ppl who r the same (❁´◡`❁)#they r always so so sweet 😭🥰 for my astrology girlies i correctly guessed that she's a taurus hehe 😼#there's another old lady who's an office manager for one of the offices n she is so soft spoken n sweet and i wish i got 2 hug her n talk#to her more 🥺 she's so far though omg i don't get to see her in person much#n e ways i work w some really warm bubbly ppl ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა i am a happy girlie 2day!! then im going Serious Mode again tmrw 🫡#oo i get to setup like an Actual server for a rack w linux and it's being delivered 2 my place tomorrow 0: I'm excited abt it as a project#AND my new jewelry came in today along w some cute underwear we r starting this wk off strong !!!#there was so so much more frm 2day i am just rly stoned n thinking abt it all (〒﹏〒)#if u actually read all of my ramble ily ty for letting me Talk ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა ♡
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not to be sappy on main but i just finished toh season 2 and im feeling emotional. your achilles come down animatic is what introduced me to you, and your funny guys, and honestly one of the first things i saw when i started to fixate on rain world, and i'm??? so fucking glad for that???? i'm glad it dragged me further into my madness and i'm glad it eventually lead me into talking to you because you're a really cool friend :]]] soooo yeah. happy one year achilles come down animatic you were one of the defining features of my life
AUGHHHH AUEHHHH OUHEGGHUEHG SKIDDLE !!!! WAUH!!! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!!! the fact that it was one of the first things to get u into the raintism …. oughh … it really was just such a turning point. for me too. i chipped away at it for 3 weeks and showed it to the world and that’s when i truly descended into The Depths. and suddenly i was the guy who made That Animatic, which is frankly insane! because that’s honestly such an honor!! i’ve gotten a lot of kind words and praise for it and i seriously just appreciate it so much. Thank you to the brainworm that made me unable to listen to achilles come down without imagining five pebbles forever
#some two weeks from now i will make no way back. which is the start of yet another Descent into The Depths (2)#because a day after that i will make an askblog. two days after that i’ll come up with a local group concept#for now they’re just names. for now they’re just acronyms i can put in an ask#three days and i flesh out ns a little bit more. now they have a stick up their ass. And what comes after that ……. well#my point is it’s like a domino effect. and my other point is that it really was a great thing to happen!! and im glad im ur friend too skids#!!#cramswering#also please rant to me about toh s2 i NEEED to hear your thoughts
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the way that my friend texted me before like i think there might be a lesbian in my program bc there was this girl w a rainbow pride pin on her bag & then 20 mins later she found her on social media & saw she had a bf and is straight & she sent me this i 😭😭😭
#michelle speaks#my friend getting excited abt thinking there was a lesbian is so 😭 my influence fr……#she is a man hater like me & apparently everyone in her program are all very straight lol. so she doesn’t relate to them#no but like i get it tho bc sooooo many ppl in my law school section i cannot relate to bc i’m like ur so straight lol#but my class is way bigger than the program shes in so there r some ppl i do relate to u know….even tho they r not lesbians lol#also my weirdly short responses in these texts r just bc i just woke up when she was texting me this lmaoooooo#it was after 1:30pm 😔 that’s when i like to wake up…..#i’m actually supposed to be asleep rn bc i have to get up for my final at 7am but even tho i took my medication at 9 i’m not like#where i’m really tired and have to go to sleep yet 😔 at least this final is 3 hrs….#anyway she was also texting me abt how she’s started her summer classes already before i even finish my finals 😭 which is CRAZY#anyway moral of the story is i am so great and fun to talk to part of which is bc of my lesbianism. the end!
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Boruto things that made me lose my mind (ep 25-40):
If I hear "what a drag..." one more time, so help me god, I will lose it
Pointing out clichés in your writing isn't clever, it's still bad writing
Suigetsu @ mitsuki: here's your intel, little gay boy
Boruto: kagura is a good ninja, his ancestry doesn't matter! Bad guy: kagura is a bad ninja, he freaks out and kills everyone when he weilds a sword (if kagura wasn't a ninja he would have nothing to feel bad abt, why is that not an option?)
Naruto 🤝 Boruto making all the boys obsessed with them
Sarada: were u really good friends with lord 7th as a child? Sakrua: ...we were more like family (well... im glad she didnt lie abt being his friend)
Boruto staring up at a beautiful sky: even if I tried, I don't think I could forget this (never say never, kid, ur dad once forgot he had a crow shoved down his throat)
Naruto @ orochimaru: our relationship is one of cooperation (natuto ur past self would beat the piss outta you)
The genin exam in naruto's time looks unhinged in comparison to the boruto extensive testing: if u can shadow clone yourself, u r ready to die in mortal combat (clearly kakashi made sweeping changes in his time as hokage)
Konoha: things have changed in this village, u don't have to be a ninja if u don't wanna :-D But if u do wanna, you make the decision to put ur life on the line at age fucking 12. So, progress but still on the path to dead children. That's our ninja way.
Why does iruka look 20 years older than kakashi when he's like 4 years younger 😭
Wow a sarada/boruto accidental kiss. It's just like the naruto/sasuke kiss, except with 1000% less romantic tension
Orochimaru: I must make sure my beloved synthetic son has free will. Therefore I will lie to his face, force him to confront the horror of his existence and make a high stakes choice about his allegiance, and erase his memory 6 times until I get the result I want
Why are all naruto missions involving bridges cursed?
#i dont kno where were going plot wise. and i dont kno how im supposed to feel abt any of this#im glad were out of the academy bc i find most of the friends annoying but i like team 7 and also i lov inojin lol#but like. i dont kno where were going. bc theres a lot of talk abt: u dont have to be a ninja! the world doesnt need ninja so much#but with a rising tide of enemies like: make ninjas great again#and boruto is like: idk what i wanna do with my life but also i wanna show my dad im better than him#and like i really reallu just want boruto to not be a ninja. like he should be a teacher or a nurse or something#hes extremely talented and fairly emotionally intelligent and he cares abt ppl a lot#so i want him to b like: fuck being a ninja. its ppl i care abt. i dont have to bleed for ppl to ensure they love me#and then b like dad ur life was fucked. u can rest now naruto can come to terms with how fucked#everything was and continues to be. but fucking there r dinosaurs apparently st somw point so fucking i dont kno where we r going#mitsuki is my boy tho. protect him from orochimaru. orochimaru should b in blood prison or dead lol#but whatever. its not a good show but i am enjoying it. its just kinda cursed#unrelated#naruto ramblings#im hardcover procrastinating. ugh.
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its been a day and i still am upset about that interaction with that person they literally didnt do anything wrong but i keep thinking about 4th grade me getting excited when someone likes the same thing as me only for me to not impress them and then i go back home crying and wondering why i have no friends
#surprisingly. i dont have many internet friends because most of my friendships with former mutuals are superficial!#and im tired of investing into friendships like those#other friendships just ended just because#and its just very hard for me personally to find friends on tumblr because im very particular about writing#i dont read fanfics anymore because some of them are really just people writing a short paragraph and slapping down several names on it#he'll fuck you until ur crying blah blah blah followed by a list of names from different fandoms like gtfo w that shit#other times its just not it to me ig#i hate a lot of my fics here i absolutely despise my most recent scara fic its so bad#and im not saying this to buy pity or wtv im very honest about this kind of thing#fuck like i cant do art#i dont fit in w the shippers because im particular about my ship tastes#i dont fit in w the self inserts because of that as well#like tf am iiii everyone around me has friends on tumblr and is doing great stuff here#ive been growing this blog for 3 years and have reached 3 thousand followers and it still feels like im alone#tw rant#tw vent
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I finished final fantasy vii rebirth and. Some mixed opinions.
The main good points: as a Sequel to original FF7? Its good. The women are all written well (which was a concern considering Kairi and Lunafreya in past games), and everyone was in character just fleshed out more (with 2 slight exceptions). What the game did best was accomplish an open world game, world spanning adventure, stick fairly well to some main highlights from original ff7 (which is what people wanted for ages) and with new stuff thats fun if you like the world, very little wasting of player time (so much better than ff7 remake). It did open world well, pacing well, side quests and mini games well, characters well, combat well, and overall gave the feel of what square enix was maybe Hoping and Wishing to successfully accomplish in a mainline game for years but either hasnt been able to achieve on a technical level or fumbled in the past. (So no time wasting dungeons like ff7 remake, fleshed out open world with stuff you enjoy doing so more than ff15, open world so more than ff13, and combat that feels like things theyve learned and improved on well). How it feels to play? Great, fast paced, no dead time, all enjoyable game you came to play. (With the exception maybe of Cait Siths box mandatory mini game and the aerith in ancient temple magic platforms thing but they both werent too difficult to push through if you dont enjoy them).
The bad? Mostly... if you treat Rebirth as a SEQUEL to original ff7, these arent major issues. They just annoy me as a player of the original ff7 game. Because i know plenty of people will ONLY play ff7 Remake and Rebirth etc, and never know the original characterizations. So 2 characters were slightly unlike their original ff7 selves, and instead more like their Advent Children (and general non ff7 appearances) selves: aerith and sephiroth. Sephiroth's character being NOT like ff7 originals is more irritating personally. Because yeah... i get it. As a sequel to original ff7, this Remake/Rebirth Sephiroth might be from the future (so he is Advent Children esque version of himself), hes had time post losing his way to really get all mysterious and hyperfocus on cloud and be a looming vague pest. But the thing is... in the original ff7 the reason we learn hes used to be a SOLDIER war hero, is so the cast and you are confused why he kills Shinra people. Then you and the casy figure: well cloud remembers sephiroth finding out hes a monster cause of shinra, justifiable for sephiroth to hate shinra. Unflrtunately Sephiroth also decided to hate ALL HUMANS. Then you later find out maybe Jenovas controlling Sephiroth/one with him etc. But the key here is you find out at some point in original ff7 that sephiroths goal is mainly Destroy World because Hes not Human. Rebirth... does not clarify this very important and very BASIC point ever. Maybe it assumes its so basic that as a ff7 fan you should know.. but plenty of new players wont. Rebirth clarifies yes sephiroth may be Jenovas kid... but the whole MOM, im an ancient like Jenova! Oh Jenova isnt an ancient oh well fuck humans anyway! Either way fuck humans ill kill them all! None of those Very basic sephiroth motives are clarified much. I felt Rebirth did good explaining the Gi and the black materia. But to make Sephiroths motives so vague, why he wants to end the world SO VAGUE, why hes in clouds head (the black robes are everywhere but the game HINTS theure sephiroth clones but never actually spells it out eevn though its a BASIC KEY DETAIL). Now... because Rebirth is a sequel, it makes sense... if hes Advent Children Sephiroth he already knows he isnt an ancient, knows hes Jenovas kid, knows he wants to fuck with Cloud specifically now and the world generally but not necessarily so singlemindedly desperate to just kill all humans. So yes, Sephiroth is in character for his future self... but i feel like even with him less SINGLE MINDED and freshly with Jenova, clarifying some basics of his Original old timeline motives... would be helpful to new fans. So it annoyed me. I think the biggest Not Good writing decision in Rebirth was to never fucking clarify Sephiroths original basic goal: im not human like mom, hate humans, kill world. I suspect the writers either thought players KNEW so hinted instead of being on the nose (but to new players theyll just be CONFUSED), or they plan to explain those basic things in game 3. Which seems stupid to me and shouldve been explained earlier.
And Aerith. As a sequel? She remembered the other timeline which explained some moments she was calmer than original ff7. She forgot, then toward the end of Rebirth she seems to have remembered the other timeline again and that she needs to die and X happens etc. So her being calmer based on the plot they wrote for Rebirth? Makes sense. However... i deeply miss her Original FF7 personality where as an Ancient she freaks out a bit LIKE sephiroth, paralleling him, that shes not human, a freak, that it all rests on her as only one ancient left. Their overwhelm parallels each other. Aerith is more scared in original ff7 of being the only ancient, of what it means, of finding out more. That fear is slightly there in Rebirth but WAY LESS. its only a little in cosmo canyon and almost gone in the Ancient Temple. In ff7 expanded universe theyve changed her character over time to a calmer wiser goddess type like in Advent Children, and so yes in Rebirth when she remembers the alrernate timeline it makes sense she'd be calmer like her future self. However... i miss original ff7 aerith. I miss her initial shock, loneliness, fear of the weight on her shoulders, not being sure what to do. Her and Sephiroth, because of Rebirth writing them to know more, act more like their future selves and so. While it is in character and logical to the Rebirth plot. Its also sad to me that anyone who only plays Remake and Rebirth simply wont see what they were like WHEN these revelations were brand new shocks to them, forcing them to react and grow and fear. I dont think Aerith is written bad, i just think because this game is in reality is a Sequel im just personally mourning that it didnt have that as much of the original Aerith's personality who was afraid and discovering. Mostly her Rebirth personality is similar to original ff7s. But in some high tension moments shes way calmer and wiser than in the original. I miss getting to see some of that before to after character growth.
Oh and. The aerith dies scene. Does it make sense in context of Rebirth written as a sequel? Sure. Is it impactful? Not as much as the original. In Rebirth, theres a scene where Cloud is losing control and listening to Sephiroth and attacks Tifa, causing Tifa to fall into mako. That scene is high stakes and emotional and lands WELL. Later in Rebirth, when Aerith actually dies, Cloud has not lost control and isnt the one who killed her. Its fine, as a sequel to ff7 i get the choice to make him able to stop himself from hurting her. But it does make the scene less impactful: now cloud will NOT be blaming himself for her death, will not be struggling with the guilt and fear, and will not be as terrified of losing control again. Since he wasnt the one who attacked her. And since he saw her ghost/something post death, hes not even sad or grieving her. He thinks shes fine. These 2 things will result in a WILDLY DIFFERENT cloud moving forward than the original ff7 one who very much was distraught and horrified he did that. So like... as a sequel its fine these changes were made. But death wise... i wouldve prefered like, cloud drops her from up high qhile struggling with whispers, or doesnt get to her in time and sephiroth stabs her when shes too far away. The way Rebirth did it, cloud was near her, she gets stabbed anyway. It seemed to me almost like the writing was trying to vaguely or softly kill her, like somehow making it vague would make it hurt less. Yeah it did hurt less... but id rather if a character i love dies that its a Worthy Scene for them to die in. A strong meaningful scene that makes me cry, that felt like the loss it is. The Rebirth scene... couldve done its plot as intended and just make Cloud farther away or something and it wouldve been better to me. Maybe the writing point was Cloud thinks its fine, and its still not, and he cant even feel distaught because he cant tell if she died or if things are fine? Thats the only angle i can see where maybe the death scene did what the writers wanted? Anyway. Aeriths moms death made me sob, Aeriths death did not. It is what it is. I feel like Tifa, crying in my heart off screen, the game acting like Cloud like its fine and it looks fine to him but im confused like Tifa aa to why hes (the game) treating it that way. Lol.
Overall? Um 4/5. 8/10? Really solid square enix game, Amazing as far as final fantasy 7 SEQUELS go. It has one main weak spot in treating Sephiroth fully mysterious when a few clarifying details could help the game stand on its own Better (and make Sephiroth a stronger enemy character instead of a vaguer one). The other weak spots are more my personal preference and mourning the parts of ff7 original i miss and had wished were in this, but as this is a Sequel in a parallel timeline i dont feel the parts effect Rebirth on its own merit. It IS the best Square Enix game ive played in ages, at least since Final Fantasy X or XII. I thought it was better than FF13, FF15, definitely better than ff7 remake (i hate time wasting dungeons and bad pacing its a dealbreaker), and than kh3 (although kh3 was quite good for a kh sequel). I get to play FF16 next, which will hopefully be as good as Rebirth or better! Since its also on the PS5 and clearly from Rebirth, the square enix main team can do excellent combat, open world, level design, mini games, side quests, and good pacing now. So i'll just have to see if ff16's story is better. And i am guessing it hopefully will be, since Rebirth as an ff7 sequel has some weirdness to its plot quite typical of ff7 extended universe stories like Crisis Core and Dirge of Cerberus. Whereas ff16 is a brand new plot, so they have nothing preventing them from a tight excellent written story except themselves. I am curious how BIG ff16s world will be though. Because ff7 Rebirths world was MASSIVE and very full of stuff, tons of mini games, cool stuff to find or do or little character side quests. If ff16 also takes me 60 hours to beat the main story its gonna be thw longest final fantasy main title ive ever played.
Rebirth is very replayable if you enjoyed it. I will probably replay ff7 original soon.
#final fantasy vii rebirth#ff7r#lb#rant#oh and shipping discourse lol: if you ship tifa x aerith? GREAT TIME#tifa mourns aerith more than cloud does. tifa aerith ARE IN LOVE. great time for me as an aerti fan and ot4 fan#i do think in theory the writers had aerith x cloud scenes more in Rebirth since aerith dies at the end. and predict game 3 will have#more tifa x cloud scenes. so itll be even by the end. i think everything was in character tho tbh#(in my opinion anyway)#like. aerith x tifa x cloud x zack i ship and they clearly all CARE for each other. zack loves aerith but also saved cloud#when aerith likes cloud. zack is big enough to be happy for aerith and want her to have what SHE wants.#cloud loved zack and was so fucked emotionally when zack died he convinced himself he WAS zack. tifas his childhood crush. aerith likes him#and he gradually does like her back too. (clouds very not interested in crushes tho tbh. hed happilt be in ot3 with#tifa and aerith or ot4 with zack or ot3 with barret too if they just told him to be)#and tifa loves cloud but wisely isnt sure how he feels OR whats going on mentally with him. and is focusing on building trust#that cloud will communicate with her BEFORE getting romantic (shes wise we should all copy her). and she loves aerith. which is goof#cause cloud isnt giving aerith some care she Needs. but Tifa always does give aerith that support.#tifa knows aerith likes cloud. so tifa simply is likinv her 2 crushes (happy to be in an ot3 if aerith and cloud would start it)#but tifas shy and slow going ans values friends MORE so shes not making any major moves until she knows the other 2 aerith and cloud#are emotionally stable (and theyre lol not)#and now shes grieving aerith so :/. my point is: all the romance is written very in character#very similar to original ff7. and if ur a tifa AND aerith as characters fan like me?#its really NICE to have 2 main woman leads in a game (with romance even) who are full characters ON THEIR OWN#and really well written and with relationships outside of cloud. (again... after lunafreya and kairi#i was worried tifa or aerith as love interests might get written BAD or flat or destroyed writing wise#by some shitty square enix writer *cough* who tends to butcher woman characters if theyre love interests)#so im super glad i could just enjoy tifa and aerith#also as a Non romance lover. i enjoyed that Rebirth focused HEAVY on friends but had very little actual romance#flirting yeah sure. but aerith and tifa never even kissed cloud in my playthrough (yay for me)#their crushes are just side details they mention to be direct and communicate (wise of them) but the romance isnt the main point
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No fr, I saw Hazbin fans on TT who ACTUALLY THOUGHT Alastor's last name was "Altruist". Like. They didn't comprehend it was a word he was mockingly attaching to his name after his performance in the finale.
oh my good god. once again i say, the media literacy (and possibly literacy, period) is buried beneath the ground like...that’s actually concerning. unless they were young teenagers who just didn’t know what the word meant,, tho idk if young teenagers should necessarily be watching hazbin but that’s a different conversation for a different time.
#in my short time in the hazbin fandom i have seem some really wild takes and interpretations#and most of them are just straight up wrong. like;;; not the interpretations or the personal opinions—everyone is allowed to have those ofc#and that's valid.#but i mean like saying stuff that is FACTUALLY wrong#because you know;; there's the facts of the text itself and then there's the bits left up to the viewer's interpretation#but anyway#i'm not gonna get into that hahaha#i just rly do think the inability to close read and the lack of analytical skills is very concerning#you *should be* taught how to close read in high school literature classes#i'm not american so i don't know just how awful their school system currently is#but i know that when i was in high school we were taught how to close read and pull apart nuance and subtext and form our own opinions base#on that; on the material itself. and how to argue and back up our points#not that anyone necessarily needs anything THAT SERIOUS in fandom but like just the general skill of close reading#the fact that so many people lack it is justttttt a lil scary idk#i'm rambling now i've been having this conversation with several friends over the past week#it's just baffling#ANYYYYYWAYYY#hope ur having a great friday anon!!! <3#pls enjoy ur weekend and stay safe c: love u lots!#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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haha I wish I could get new friends
#irl friends#and i don't mean all new irl friends sum of them are great#like one of my friends on here they're super cool(if ur reading this u know who u are)#but like i want friends i can actually talk to about my interests because they all have people they can talk to abt their interests#but i don't#and they don't really like to listen to mine either#in fact they would rather yell over me than listen to me talk abt the things i like for more than a minute#tw vent
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