#ur a really great friend to have
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happy birthday molly @burstingsunrise 💜
#this is not my best work BUT i had to make something for you molly!!#it's your birthday! i'm so happy and excited for you!#anyways#i do want to say something really sentimental and sweet but i literally do not have the words to so#yknow#i appreciate you lots#ur a really great friend to have#and i hope you like this mb even tho there's no coffee in it 💜💜💜#cake#molly <3#my moodboard#e*creations
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i know i've posted abt this before also but i did not have screenshots to demonstrate just HOW gently passive aggressive ingo is to volo when they talk. i have no idea if they intended it this way but he sounds so "sadly my strict standard of conduct will not let me tell you to fuck off for asking weirdly personal questions just so you can share your theories but with the subtext toolkit available to me i am VERY much shooing you out of the way so i can get back to what i was actually trying to do."
#the nemesis speaks#pla analysis#idk if it really comes across without the context of volo's whole ramble#but he really did just sort of rock up to you while you were TRYING to get through this quarry#just to be like ''hi ingo. hey tell me about your memory loss. great now listen to what I think about the whole thing''#though the exchange does also make me feel like they have had prior conversations to this effect#ingo feigns not recognizing him at first but the way he says ''continue to prioritize'' specifically makes me feel like#this is not the first time they've tread this particular ground#volo also greets ingo pretty familiarly at the start of it imo#these tags are getting long but one other thing that sort of strikes me atm and i'm curious to see if it continues#is like. this is the rudest (by his standards) ingo gets with mmmost everyone in pla#-except melli. who he is actually fairly direct with. and melli in turn doesn't rise to it really at all#for a guy who bitches at literally everyone just saying ''well guess we don't always see eye to eye!'' is like. WILDLY notable#and then ingo asks you to say hi to him later#they're friends i think. thanks for ur time
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been sober for 5 weeks today, & in a lot of ways my quality of life has greatly increased. but one thing ive never rlly heard spoken abt when it comes to sobriety is how u literally have to learn how to feel again. just a really bizarre & strange transitory period !!!
#huge rant below but just thinking out loud like this is my diary LMAOOO#like i wasnt doing anything hard i just quit smoking weed#**hard as in like hard drugs but quitting smoking was nawt easy 😭#but i smoked every single day for almost 10 yrs from late high school till my late 20s#& relying on that to like watch tv shows & de stress and hang out with friends and engage with my craft#truly fundamentally alters ur brain chemistry#like emotionally im so gray & it’s so much better than it was before bcs I sleep now#& I don’t get super angry or overwhelmed or frustrated anymore#which is truly really great#but i also don’t have the highs either which is weird !#it’s just so like coasting and i feel like now i have to reteach myself joy which is so weird#all in all tho things aren’t bad just different & it’s an adjustment for sure !
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i do miss being a little kid and creating the most vividly fucked up stories with my toys that i could
#i would say it was one of my fav little girl things but i did it with my brother mostly#and he sometimes got more into it than me#it’s great we had stories of abuse kidnapping murder#i thought up a looooot of kidnapping stories. i think it was how i coped with the intrusive thoughts of break-ins i’d get lmao#but this isn’t abt my GAD this is about my creative bloodlust#what even was a sleepover if you and ur best friend weren’t roleplaying an evil torture dungeon with her lps toys#or pretending to be foxes in the wild and getting mauled by bears#<- i was not a warrior cats kid but was friends with them. we all liked foxes so we were usually foxes#honestly i think a lot of my artistic energy is spent trying to return to that level of raw creative energy and power#it was always either violent or everyone was having sex with each other#to the kid with internalized homophobia who would jokingly torment me with ‘lesbian’ barbies in daycare (which we later got in trouble for):#thanks for helping me make the connection that lesbians were just girls who liked girls (like my aunts#also really funny that we’re both gay now#hey friends and mutuals who wants to play barbies with me and have them cannibalize each other#girlish whimsy. for free. cmon it’ll be so much fun
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feeling inadequate about my writing tonight
#i don’t really have anywhere else 2 say this#been knocking into way too many cans of gas on bridges yknow and now the only bridges i have left r the spaces that r not doing me too well#admittedly.#it’s more of a me problem#do u know how hard it is to watch people ur age get supported by your friend groups when the only time you’re given the support is when you#claw and scream and beg for it. and even then#im back to not feeling 2 great about my writing#i know their writing is better than mine and that’s fine#it’s not fine but it’s fine . i can cope#i want to believe my writings decent so bad but the only people who read it r my best friend and some girl i met a few weeks ago#if my own friends can’t even fucking try to read it without me crying and begging them too then how is a large scale audience supposed to#if the people who love me and know how important my writing is to me can read it#how are complete strangers supposed to take that gamble#too saturated of a market and im not bringing anything 2 it#starting to think i should just do barrendejng or copywriting or whatever#the people I know are the same ages as me but they’re miles ahead of where I am and I’ve been writing for longer#i don’t think I’m getting better than this.#writing is all I have and I’m so mediocre about it#is it so hard to be asked to be understood and seen. Jesus Christ#ignore this if uve read it. ik shat advice I’m gonna get and its not gonna make feel any better#i just want to give up sometimes.#Anthony’s tumblr adventure#Anthony’s venting arc#there we go. a tag so anyone who follows me on here can block it#venting#that 2#while I’m here#I wish I knew someone like me.#could fix me maybe idk at least I could feel seen and understood by more than one person#begging. please.
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same soup... different day
#hello it is sarah in the tags again#i feel like i tell myself i'll actually use this as a blog and then i forget and then i remember and then i forget again#venting ahead if that is not ur jam (talking to the 2 followers who actually see my posts)#i like tumblr because it;s so removed from my personal life that it feels really like a place i dont have to be anything for anyone#anyway i've been wondering if i should go back to therapy again but i feel like they might get tired of me because i keep bailing and comin#back like an addict lol like i swear i'll commit this time! sike. ghost be upon ye#anyway this time i'd come in for the big D#i don't like the floor it just feels closer to being six feet under and a bit like where i belong#i feel like a great number of things have happened in the past year and i've met all of it with a very lukewarm sense of dread and anxiety#its not even about feeling happy i dont even think i can feel shaken by anything. i feel like people see my apathy and think it's confidenc#anyway im not going back. they always say the same thing. can't do shit about shit life syndrome. and i don't want pills i'm so sick of the#isn't it something that i'm especially depressed the day before i start my new job? it's a tradition at this point. cheers#isn't it cruel that everyone in my life seem to put me on some kind of bizarre pedestal and no one questions my decisions or authority and#i battle with myself to figure out if i'm doing the right thing (no one will tell me the truth they are all scared of me getting angry)#was talking with a friend about how it'll be if i join their group project in a module we're taking soon.#and she's like well isn't it obvious? everyone will just listen to whatever you say and we'll end up doing well.#no one would challenge you because you're always right. and it's like.. yeah. i guess. okay. (hate that i know she's not wrong)#lol can u tell this is why house is kind of getting to me. learning lots of things about myself watching that man commit medical malpractic#anyway. i didn't ghost my therapist this time i remember now. she left the clinic lol she asked me to connect on linkedin. that was amusing#i always feel like the therapists here never know what to do with me and i kind of have to hold their hand a bit through my psyche#also they seem to be a bit at awe of me which is a bit annoying. and i know that definitely sounds like Issues but it's just like#ugh not you too. please stop i'm sick of it i'm sick with it. i don't want you to be inspired by my awful life and how i handled it#and i have nothing to say for it but... *gestures vaguely* of all of this
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first time writing the greats i need 2 do them the correct amount of justice or else ill explode and die
#theyre so important to meeeeeeeeeeeeee#williams relationship w not only vyncent but the greats as well. in the 10 month skip. is something that can be so important. 2 me#anyway the tranches are going awesome btw. writing ram rn hes so cool and awesome.#am also going 2 for sure include alphonse later bc haha pain and suffeting#guys i really like alphonse btw . i wish we wouldve gotten a little more of his and wills dynamic its suuuuper interesting to meeeeee#head in hands. when one of the ppl in your head doesnt like one of ur friends. hell world.#i need 2 explore this in fiction. for no reason in particular !!!!!#anyway. this aint about them. this is abt william chewing on his lip and accidentally pulling half the skin on his face away from his skull.#u know. normal human body things. this is about the Worms . he wouldnt have worms yet. but im dying to give him worms guys .#ever since mey vivweylins freak week fic i have been so obsessed w william keeping a jar of maggots. that is so everything to me#anyway.
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i had a fun day 2 day ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა everyone has been so nicey 2 me all day from the minute i left my house earlier ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡
i went to a Retreat for the first time for work earlier 0: and I did SO good for being up since 2am it didn't even feel like it 💀
it was so chill i drove like an hour away but Away from the city so there wasn't rly traffic and the mountains r so pretty 2 drive thru (❁´◡`❁) got some rain n v low clouds and since it's autumn there's all these pretty colors. i took an edible on the way n was just jammin out n enjoying the scenery among the many safe opportunities 2 look
and then at the thing we got 2 do different ice breakers n go on decently long breaks; i got 2 hang in different groups n actually Talk w a bunch of ppl which i never have time for omg. it's nice working at a legal nonprofit, i would NOT want to do this with corporate mfs !! 😹
went around n said hii to the enbies and i ran up a hill that looked a lot smaller than it was, i made it like 80% of the way before my legs were immediately like no girl we're done !! but my brain was like but it's Right There, and i struggled 2 finish the climb but I Did !! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა and i was so so tired i do not remember ever being that winded before 💀 getting down was so much slower n worse bc my legs were Done and when i finally made it to the bottom i laid flat on my back for like 15m, and when when i made it back to sit n chill i still need like 10 more minutes akskska. i do not b exercising !! i just wanted 2 play it looked fun and i got excited (｡ﾉω＼｡)
in between things i was working on my sister's choker n kept winding up w a group of ppl around me 2 talk to about it and just talk 2 in general n the company was rly nice (❁´◡`❁) ♡ had a lot of different kinda talks 2day!! everyone is a sweetie!! some ppl r so funny n chill and i rly hope 2 get 2 talk more casually w people perhaps As Friends when i go in 👉👈
there's one girl in particular who is rly cute n sweet and i want 2 see her again ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა when I got home finally i had 2 hop on my work laptop real quick 2 look up her name again 2 make sure i didn't forget ☝️😌 we do not work at the same office but hii i am visiting next week 🐇
yippee!!!! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა !!!
#i think i have become an introverted extrovert at some point 0:#which is rly nice bc my social anxiety was SO bad at the beginning of the year like i didn't even know where to start skskdksk#but i kinda figured it out? but it's also just being me? idk.. much 2 think. but i made good progress#i am getting a good grade in being funny and nice and talking to people !!#i want 2 kiss someone on the forehead#omg but if there's ANYONE who deserves a kiss it's this old lady who lives a few buildings down on the way to my car#where EVERY time i see her she always has something so so sweet to tell me about how i look#today she said I'm always looking fancy (｡ﾉω＼｡) ♡ and more but that's the main thing i remember besides the small talk#and the first time we met she asked me if i was a model fr and she's told me I'm cute and I'm just like PLEASE SKDKDKS#i can't fully tell if you're just really sweet or kinda 👀 at me but girl u r so sweet like hello do u Want a hug or a kiss ?? i love u !!#old ladies have a warmth they fill u with that just take the weight of Everything off ur shoulders n leave u feeling full n happy!!#bless old ladies fr!! literally my favorite people to interact with always i love u abuelas everywhere u r everything to me and i would do#anything for u !!!! i miss getting to help friends grandmas w stuff as a kid 🥺 it was just always great 2 talk 2 them and be close n on#good terms n stuff :3 i was the same way with their moms hehe. hi hello i want 2 help !! (✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚)#my friend is being lame and acting embarrassed but i love you please talk to me i am so so interested and think you're really#cool and funny and sweet and wise actually ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡ i wanna be around u if u wanna hang out#even if it's as simple as getting 2 help in the kitchen n always helping w dishes n stuff ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა aaa ♡#omg i was late 2 the thing too and missed the breakfast and there's this sweet energetic old lady who's always like#omg u didn't get to eat? do u want this? can i get you some coffee or tea? and I'm always just like no no it's okay I'm gonna get it but#appreciate the offer and just ૮ – ﻌ–ა she is always looking out 4 me !! but she's just a sweetie like that !!#i think sharing food is a universally good way 2 make friends and it always warms my heart 2 meet ppl who r the same (❁´◡`❁)#they r always so so sweet 😭🥰 for my astrology girlies i correctly guessed that she's a taurus hehe 😼#there's another old lady who's an office manager for one of the offices n she is so soft spoken n sweet and i wish i got 2 hug her n talk#to her more 🥺 she's so far though omg i don't get to see her in person much#n e ways i work w some really warm bubbly ppl ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა i am a happy girlie 2day!! then im going Serious Mode again tmrw 🫡#oo i get to setup like an Actual server for a rack w linux and it's being delivered 2 my place tomorrow 0: I'm excited abt it as a project#AND my new jewelry came in today along w some cute underwear we r starting this wk off strong !!!#there was so so much more frm 2day i am just rly stoned n thinking abt it all (〒﹏〒)#if u actually read all of my ramble ily ty for letting me Talk ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა ♡
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not to be sappy on main but i just finished toh season 2 and im feeling emotional. your achilles come down animatic is what introduced me to you, and your funny guys, and honestly one of the first things i saw when i started to fixate on rain world, and i'm??? so fucking glad for that???? i'm glad it dragged me further into my madness and i'm glad it eventually lead me into talking to you because you're a really cool friend :]]] soooo yeah. happy one year achilles come down animatic you were one of the defining features of my life
AUGHHHH AUEHHHH OUHEGGHUEHG SKIDDLE !!!! WAUH!!! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!!! the fact that it was one of the first things to get u into the raintism …. oughh … it really was just such a turning point. for me too. i chipped away at it for 3 weeks and showed it to the world and that’s when i truly descended into The Depths. and suddenly i was the guy who made That Animatic, which is frankly insane! because that’s honestly such an honor!! i’ve gotten a lot of kind words and praise for it and i seriously just appreciate it so much. Thank you to the brainworm that made me unable to listen to achilles come down without imagining five pebbles forever
#some two weeks from now i will make no way back. which is the start of yet another Descent into The Depths (2)#because a day after that i will make an askblog. two days after that i’ll come up with a local group concept#for now they’re just names. for now they’re just acronyms i can put in an ask#three days and i flesh out ns a little bit more. now they have a stick up their ass. And what comes after that ……. well#my point is it’s like a domino effect. and my other point is that it really was a great thing to happen!! and im glad im ur friend too skids#!!#cramswering#also please rant to me about toh s2 i NEEED to hear your thoughts
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the way that my friend texted me before like i think there might be a lesbian in my program bc there was this girl w a rainbow pride pin on her bag & then 20 mins later she found her on social media & saw she had a bf and is straight & she sent me this i 😭😭😭
#michelle speaks#my friend getting excited abt thinking there was a lesbian is so 😭 my influence fr……#she is a man hater like me & apparently everyone in her program are all very straight lol. so she doesn’t relate to them#no but like i get it tho bc sooooo many ppl in my law school section i cannot relate to bc i’m like ur so straight lol#but my class is way bigger than the program shes in so there r some ppl i do relate to u know….even tho they r not lesbians lol#also my weirdly short responses in these texts r just bc i just woke up when she was texting me this lmaoooooo#it was after 1:30pm 😔 that’s when i like to wake up…..#i’m actually supposed to be asleep rn bc i have to get up for my final at 7am but even tho i took my medication at 9 i’m not like#where i’m really tired and have to go to sleep yet 😔 at least this final is 3 hrs….#anyway she was also texting me abt how she’s started her summer classes already before i even finish my finals 😭 which is CRAZY#anyway moral of the story is i am so great and fun to talk to part of which is bc of my lesbianism. the end!
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Boruto things that made me lose my mind (ep 25-40):
If I hear "what a drag..." one more time, so help me god, I will lose it
Pointing out clichés in your writing isn't clever, it's still bad writing
Suigetsu @ mitsuki: here's your intel, little gay boy
Boruto: kagura is a good ninja, his ancestry doesn't matter! Bad guy: kagura is a bad ninja, he freaks out and kills everyone when he weilds a sword (if kagura wasn't a ninja he would have nothing to feel bad abt, why is that not an option?)
Naruto 🤝 Boruto making all the boys obsessed with them
Sarada: were u really good friends with lord 7th as a child? Sakrua: ...we were more like family (well... im glad she didnt lie abt being his friend)
Boruto staring up at a beautiful sky: even if I tried, I don't think I could forget this (never say never, kid, ur dad once forgot he had a crow shoved down his throat)
Naruto @ orochimaru: our relationship is one of cooperation (natuto ur past self would beat the piss outta you)
The genin exam in naruto's time looks unhinged in comparison to the boruto extensive testing: if u can shadow clone yourself, u r ready to die in mortal combat (clearly kakashi made sweeping changes in his time as hokage)
Konoha: things have changed in this village, u don't have to be a ninja if u don't wanna :-D But if u do wanna, you make the decision to put ur life on the line at age fucking 12. So, progress but still on the path to dead children. That's our ninja way.
Why does iruka look 20 years older than kakashi when he's like 4 years younger 😭
Wow a sarada/boruto accidental kiss. It's just like the naruto/sasuke kiss, except with 1000% less romantic tension
Orochimaru: I must make sure my beloved synthetic son has free will. Therefore I will lie to his face, force him to confront the horror of his existence and make a high stakes choice about his allegiance, and erase his memory 6 times until I get the result I want
Why are all naruto missions involving bridges cursed?
#i dont kno where were going plot wise. and i dont kno how im supposed to feel abt any of this#im glad were out of the academy bc i find most of the friends annoying but i like team 7 and also i lov inojin lol#but like. i dont kno where were going. bc theres a lot of talk abt: u dont have to be a ninja! the world doesnt need ninja so much#but with a rising tide of enemies like: make ninjas great again#and boruto is like: idk what i wanna do with my life but also i wanna show my dad im better than him#and like i really reallu just want boruto to not be a ninja. like he should be a teacher or a nurse or something#hes extremely talented and fairly emotionally intelligent and he cares abt ppl a lot#so i want him to b like: fuck being a ninja. its ppl i care abt. i dont have to bleed for ppl to ensure they love me#and then b like dad ur life was fucked. u can rest now naruto can come to terms with how fucked#everything was and continues to be. but fucking there r dinosaurs apparently st somw point so fucking i dont kno where we r going#mitsuki is my boy tho. protect him from orochimaru. orochimaru should b in blood prison or dead lol#but whatever. its not a good show but i am enjoying it. its just kinda cursed#unrelated#naruto ramblings#im hardcover procrastinating. ugh.
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its been a day and i still am upset about that interaction with that person they literally didnt do anything wrong but i keep thinking about 4th grade me getting excited when someone likes the same thing as me only for me to not impress them and then i go back home crying and wondering why i have no friends
#surprisingly. i dont have many internet friends because most of my friendships with former mutuals are superficial!#and im tired of investing into friendships like those#other friendships just ended just because#and its just very hard for me personally to find friends on tumblr because im very particular about writing#i dont read fanfics anymore because some of them are really just people writing a short paragraph and slapping down several names on it#he'll fuck you until ur crying blah blah blah followed by a list of names from different fandoms like gtfo w that shit#other times its just not it to me ig#i hate a lot of my fics here i absolutely despise my most recent scara fic its so bad#and im not saying this to buy pity or wtv im very honest about this kind of thing#fuck like i cant do art#i dont fit in w the shippers because im particular about my ship tastes#i dont fit in w the self inserts because of that as well#like tf am iiii everyone around me has friends on tumblr and is doing great stuff here#ive been growing this blog for 3 years and have reached 3 thousand followers and it still feels like im alone#tw rant#tw vent
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No fr, I saw Hazbin fans on TT who ACTUALLY THOUGHT Alastor's last name was "Altruist". Like. They didn't comprehend it was a word he was mockingly attaching to his name after his performance in the finale.
oh my good god. once again i say, the media literacy (and possibly literacy, period) is buried beneath the ground like...that’s actually concerning. unless they were young teenagers who just didn’t know what the word meant,, tho idk if young teenagers should necessarily be watching hazbin but that’s a different conversation for a different time.
#in my short time in the hazbin fandom i have seem some really wild takes and interpretations#and most of them are just straight up wrong. like;;; not the interpretations or the personal opinions—everyone is allowed to have those ofc#and that's valid.#but i mean like saying stuff that is FACTUALLY wrong#because you know;; there's the facts of the text itself and then there's the bits left up to the viewer's interpretation#but anyway#i'm not gonna get into that hahaha#i just rly do think the inability to close read and the lack of analytical skills is very concerning#you *should be* taught how to close read in high school literature classes#i'm not american so i don't know just how awful their school system currently is#but i know that when i was in high school we were taught how to close read and pull apart nuance and subtext and form our own opinions base#on that; on the material itself. and how to argue and back up our points#not that anyone necessarily needs anything THAT SERIOUS in fandom but like just the general skill of close reading#the fact that so many people lack it is justttttt a lil scary idk#i'm rambling now i've been having this conversation with several friends over the past week#it's just baffling#ANYYYYYWAYYY#hope ur having a great friday anon!!! <3#pls enjoy ur weekend and stay safe c: love u lots!#inky.bb#clari gets mail
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haha I wish I could get new friends
#irl friends#and i don't mean all new irl friends sum of them are great#like one of my friends on here they're super cool(if ur reading this u know who u are)#but like i want friends i can actually talk to about my interests because they all have people they can talk to abt their interests#but i don't#and they don't really like to listen to mine either#in fact they would rather yell over me than listen to me talk abt the things i like for more than a minute#tw vent
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If a ttrpg has options for the player characters to be furries, they will succeed. Homebrew can solve any problem, but baked in RAW furry rules are your ticket to fame.
Cyberpunk: Absolute horseshit no one is running around as one those handsome little robot sergal fuckers
Lancer: Deergirl piloting a mech, fuck with me
Monster of the Week: Become Cryptid
DnD: Pirate all of their content, become tabaxi, come aarakocra, become harengon, become leonin
Monopoly: play it in your fursuit you had to pass go fifteen fucking times to afford I guess
SO fucking true. My enjoyment of a setting is hands in hands with how many weird lil fellas there are running around. Like one of my sonas is a kobold I'm not immune to furrybait ttrpgs
Also can you actually play as a deergirl in Lancer because uhhh uhmmm 👉👈
#love a ttrpg im slowly getting back into then after not playing for years#have so many game stories in my brain#lancer seems v cool!!#havent read it yet but mecha is rad and the crunchy combat style reminds me of my halcyon 4e days#need to play more systems tbh#like ive played d&d for years (4e and then 5e)#but ive also dabbled and run oneshots in FATE which was really fun i love how you design your own character feats#and the fate token system is a lot of fun#im actually now gearing up to run Blades in the Dark with some friends!!#very excited hehe been doing a lot of prep lately#not as many funny lil guys in there but i think cool heists make up for it#once again i have spent far more time throwing words in tags than in the actual ask#awe well hehe#thanks for the ask anon i hope ur having a great night :3#ask#anon
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Sick Quinn and worried Santiago on the brain
gosh. thats so cute and u got me thinking abt it again
#ask#twst oc ask#quinn !!#really santiago is a great friend to have when ur sick bc he will be bringing u medicine and food and water all the time
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