#unwanted indoctrination

[emilija04acer]

Navigating Friendship and Faith: My Recent Experience

Recently, I found myself in a bit of a dilemma involving a close friend and her evangelical church. It all started when she invited me to a wedding celebration at her church. During the event, the preacher mentioned that they had recently discussed turning people to God. At first, I joked about it with my friend, but soon I realized it might not be a joke after all.

She recently invited me to a Christian camp, and I didn’t know how to respond. Initially, I agreed to go, but then I lied, saying my parents wouldn’t pay for it (it costs 70 euros for two days). She was disappointed but later told me that the leader would allow me to come for free or at a very low cost. Now, I feel like I’ve dug myself into a hole.

This situation has been emotionally challenging for me. On one hand, I deeply value my friendship with her. She’s an amazing person, and we share so many interests and experiences. Losing her friendship over this would be heartbreaking. On the other hand, I feel uncomfortable with the pressure to participate in religious activities that don’t align with my beliefs.

To give you some context, I am an atheist. My family background is culturally Catholic and Orthodox, and we only observe religious holidays in a cultural sense. My parents, coming from different denominations, decided not to raise my siblings and me religiously to avoid arguments about our Christian upbringing. This has shaped my perspective and beliefs, making me hesitant to engage in religious activities.

I find myself torn between wanting to be honest with her and fearing that honesty might hurt our friendship. It’s a delicate balance, and I’m struggling to find the right words to express my feelings without causing offense or misunderstanding.

The thought of losing a friend over something like this is really upsetting. I keep questioning whether I’m overthinking the situation or if my concerns are valid. It’s been weighing heavily on my mind, and I wanted to share my experience here in hopes of finding some clarity.

Have any of you faced a similar situation? How did you handle it? I’d love to hear your thoughts and advice.

Update

[amurih]

Fuck it ima put it out anyway.

COTL AU where instead of staying in the cult Narinder leaves and builds his own little plot of land that becomes a rare occurrence you find while crusading through the different biomes post game.

Like it starts off when the lamb like spares Narinder and he’s like sent to the cult. And is in such a state of shock and bewilderment of what just happened that he doesn’t really know that the lamb is setting up their wedding until he’s at the alter. And he just SNAPS. To trade one prison for another? And to be stuck with the same being that not only took your crown, but your title as the god of death as your jailer? No thank you. Proceeds to walk out while the service is still going.

(I’m not the kind of person to think that he would be murdering or plotting to kill the lamb at every turn or possibly. No I would think that Narinder is smart enough to realize that he cannot fight the lamb in the condition that he is reduced to.)

Anyway, I want Narinder to experience life post-godhood by himself outside the cult. Maybe progressing over time you see how his plot of land develops into a pretty nice home for himself complete with a garden and an actual building/house. Not a hut, but an actual house.

All the while the lamb is going through it. It’s normal game play like one would post Narinder fight. Lore, upgrades, reviving the bishops, mystic seller, etc. All the while experiencing the highs and lows of ascension. I think the lamb would ask the other bishops once they get indoctrinated of how they went through their ascensions went. Only they would tell them that each went through theirs differently, so in the end it wasn’t really helpful.

So going through a process that you have no idea how to get through and the only person who does has fuck off into the land and hates your guts. Really fucking sucks man. So they try to “catch” Narinder while out crusading. Only they don’t find him physically, they find his place of residence while he is away.

I thought of a way to incorporate the quests that Narinder gives you when he is usually established in the cult. Could still be used: like there’s a book left on a table where you could peak in and see what’s going on with the cat that is currently away from his house.

“ I should head to Darkwoods and see if I can find more materials to build that fence and make more paper. Moving materials from one abandon home stead to this place has been challenging enough. My arms hurt after years of being bound to one position for so long...I wonder if camellias still bloom there now that Leshy is gone? If not I’ll have to develop a new alternative for this persistent strain and sharp pains I keep having. Got to get these walls up before it starts raining.”

“Bah! There’s not enough food at the last abandoned settlement let alone seeds. It’ll take long of a walk all the way to smuggler’s cove just to see if that sea louse got any thing. And it hasn’t been that long since the depletion of fish at pilgrim’s passage. I would have just stuck to what vegetables and berries I’ve got growing, but some animal or heratic keeps getting into my garden and stealing my food!when I find the person or thing that is stealing from me I’m going to make them into my fertilizer. In the meantime I should look into Anura and see if those foul mushrooms are still there. If I remember they are just as foul as Hecket when she would screamed about being hungry during dinner…Those should hold me over until I get this unwanted pest under control.”

“The wind and rain coming in through the holes on the side of the house that I use to see if any heretics come to kill me, has gotten too much. I’m tired of having to clean up the puddles of water that enters the home. And the curtains don’t do much in terms of trying to block both of these elements.That stupid squid Kallamar doesn’t need his crystals now that he’s gone. It didn’t help him when trying to hide from me. I’ll go to Anchordeep tomorrow and get some to make crystal windows. They sure would make it more beautiful than their temple…”

“Finally the loom is ready. It’s been a such a long time since I had decent robes. It’s easy to find cotton, but what I really want is a nice, soft, silk robe. One that doesn’t rub against these scars preferably. I miss the old one Shamura they made with their silk. But, that one got destroyed in the fight with that damn vessel. Maybe there is some in Silk Cradle. ”

(I’ll come back to this when I flesh it out more via work time daydreams)

[talcite]

To non-binary, trans, and genderqueer friends, and other MOGAI friends: it's not your fault to feel unrelatable with, excluded from, isolated by, and/or ostracized by both sides. The both sides can either be the binary genders, be your own label and another label, or even the queer community and the cishet society at large.

Because this place isn't yet perfect. We have to admit that BS and AHs exist everywhere, and being queer (or another identity) doesn't necessarily make the person a good and trustworthy person. Our society is long drenched by patriarchy, cissexism and dumbass gender isolationism, it contaminated and indoctrinated everybody's mind since a young age. It also takes time for queer people (and possible allies) to unlearn all the rubbish society dumped in and heal from internalized queerphobia.

Assilimating without difficulty isn't the only right way to live. Being unable or unwanting to join the majorities doesn't make you any less than valid, and doesn't make it more unlikely to live a fulfilled life. Your worth isn't determined by social recognition. Know that you are righteous, and gain your autonomy back, believe that time will eventually tell the truth.

[femmefatalevibe]

Unlearning Purity Culture & How To Embrace Your Sexuality

Some words on how to unlearn purity culture and embrace your sexuality on your terms. For the women, men, girls, gays, theys, and anyone else who grew up in a religious, ultra-conservative, or sex-negative environment.

Remember that no one is "tainted" from engaging in such a natural act with someone they have chemistry with. The only "damage" that can happen from consensual sex is STDs or unwanted pregnancy if you don't use protection.

From what I've seen, religious indoctrination tends to promote an otherness around sex – it is a purpose-driven act (uphold a marriage, create children), rather than an innate desire that matures just like the rest of your being (body, mind, spirit). Once you consider that your sexuality is simply a part of your human existence – like your desire for certain foods, emotions, interpersonal connections, sensory experiences, and creativity – it is easier to perceive sex as a morally-neutral act.

Because one's sexuality is so personal, you need to learn, explore, and accept your preferences at any given stage in your life. If you find the idea of casual sex or purely physically-driven sex to be unappealing, that is completely fine. Some people prefer to have sex with someone only after they've established an emotional connection or were friends with the person beforehand. Others crave more dynamic or adventurous sexual experiences that can incline them to become bored in long-term relationships. These pleasure-seekers may be more inclined to seek the thrill, novelty, and lack of inhibitions that come with casual relationships. It's like someone preferring smooth or chunky peanut butter. You might not understand why someone likes the other option, and you might change your mind over time, but neither option is inherently "good" nor "bad." Either option should align with your personal preference to ensure you're getting the most pleasure and satisfaction out of the experience.

While sex and love are not the same, you need to learn for yourself whether you prefer to have experiences that mesh or separate the two. Beneficial connections manifest in all forms. Sit with yourself honestly without judgment to pursue the path that feels most authentic to you.

[damnfandomproblems]

#7342 - Okay so i do think this is where a lot of people get it wrong.

Pedophilia ≠ Predator

Pedophilia is a disorder where someone is involuntarily attracted to minors, which is why you see the arguments of people trying to validate it as a "real sexuality" because so is being lesbian/bi/gay/etcetc which they really shouldn't even remotely compare for reasons I'll elaborate on in a second and is honestly horrifically manipulative, frankly I consider it worse than child predation to be essentially encouraging/convincing people who suffer from this disorder to act upon their involuntary attraction. Caused well, It creates predators.

Anyway—the big reason that pedophilia shouldn't be remotely considered a "valid sexuality" is because the target of that attraction cannot consent. And if you do think minors can consent, seek help.

Overall, and this will be the more, way more controversial take that I know people will have a knee jerk reaction to. Pedophilia, as a disorder, NEEDS to be destigmatized for the safety of everyone.

If a disorder is so horrifically stigmatized people will be scared to seek treatment, therefore will never be able to manage it, making it worse. We've seen this happen especially with cluster-b disorders.

If we destigmatize the disorder, encourage people suffering from it to get help instead of falling into these harmful anti-recovery communities that indoctrinate them into potentially predating on children, be able to research the disorder on a deeper level to treat it even more effectively. We could potentially significantly reduce CSA.

(This also extends to zoophilia as well.)

And to anyone out there suffering from these disorders: seek help, if you're not able to afford therapy or any of the sorts, or just scared to, research into techniques that could help you, it doesn't necessarily have to be specifically for pedophilia, techniques for OCD could also significantly help on a similar level anything that focuses on unwanted/intrusive thoughts, there are resources out there for you.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[gilverrwrites]

this isn't really a request but what draws you to hal jordan? i've always been a jason fan but he's been really interesting me lately and i wonder what you like about his character, and how you put that in your writing? sorry if this is weird, but i love how you speak on the characters you write and your writing in general :3

I appreciate you asking this, and I hope you keep looking into Hal because I do think he's an interesting, and very underrated character at least within fandom space. But this seems an odd question to ask me specifically as I've only ever written one headcanon, and a match-up for him. I haven't written about him enough to have a grip on what exactly about him works for me on paper (or screen).

However, I want to write more about him going forward so i’ll try and surmise what I like about him.

Disclaimers: I am hangging out of my ass rn. A lot of my understanding of Hal comes from pre-2011 and obviously this is just my personal view of the character.

As a Hero, I like that he's kinda different in his orgin to most. He didn't choose the lanterns, they chose him and he embraced it, quite willingly, and I thinks because he's:

a) always chased a sense of purpose.

b) good. Something deep inside him craves to do good.

(not saying he was blindly indoctrinated but I think I know which JL member is most likely to unwittingly join a cult.)

He's often billed as being ‘without fear’ but I don't think thats true. He's often shown to be afraid of things and he’s constantly surrounded by peers and foes that are alien, or immortal, or super-powers, but despite the constant reminder of his own mortality, he still runs toward his fears. He’s not without fear but he is exceptionally brave.

He's flawed. I know that most characters are flawed. His bravery is often driven/over shadowed by his recklessness and thrill-seeking which in my cases I've always considered to be a coping mechanism. Its hard to dwell on your unwanted emotions when you're high on adrenalin, drunkenly hurdling through the sky at 100 miles and hour, you know? (or whatever a realistic speed for a plane is idk)

He's quite a prideful character, he likes to show off the things he does well and downplay his mistakes, but when he does do bad, he always eventually take responsibility for his action. Its a big theme of his earlier stories.

He's got a strong personality, you have to in order to fit in amongst the JL and the likes.

He portrays himself very confidently, some would say overconfident, cocky, abrasively so. Which is a kind of character I've always been compelled to. I like a character with bravado, especially if they’re funny and charming too, which tick and tick.

Despite his pride, Hal also knows when its time to buckle down and get a job done.

(About to start muddling canon and my own fanon now) Yet, in his down time he's kind of a loser? I mean, ACAB to start (yes even space cops). But like, in his off time, when he's back on earth, he couch surfs, or finds someone to shack up with then spends most of his days in his boxers, drinking beer, scratching his balls, watching re-runs of MASH and Miami Vice.

Can't keep a job cause he's not really dedicated to anything but the crop (commitment issues ammiright?)

Gets kinda jealous and defensive when he finds out characters like Bruce and Ollie are also just human, like him. Thought he was special, you know?

There's a lot more going on with his character, I'm barely scratching the surface here, but these are just the first things that came to mind for me.

Oh, and if may add one last thing:

[cienie-isengardu]

There is visual storytelling with Bi-Han's frustration with Liu Kang, but story mode does nothing to validate his frustrations at all, making said frustration seem unjustified, and that he's in the wrong for feeling this way, as he's the only Lin Kuei who actually is frustrated. Not everyone saw his frustration, so is the visual storytelling intentional, or coincidental? It's ironic, as Mortal Kombat is not known for its subtlety at all.

In advance, forgive me for starting with introduction-digression about Mortal Kombat 1’s storytelling - I promise it has a point related to Bi-Han.

Mortal Kombat 1’s main purpose is to set the ground for future storytelling so understandably, we can’t expect this game to spell out every detail to us at once right away. We, as freshly introduced guests to Liu Kang’s timeline, take a lot at face value about characters and setting because we simply don’t have enough knowledge about them yet. However I wouldn’t say MK1 lacks subtlety or it didn’t show us a pretty nuanced world already. The best example is the Edenia admired and praised by Liu Kang, as a beautiful, knowledgeable and wealthy place

and indeed the first impression fits well what Fire Lord told his champions. Yet under the gorgeous facade lurks the much darker, uglier side of Edenia - and by extension, of Royal Family. 

When the wonderful and joyful parade was disrupted,

the scene following was there to explain the conflict between Li Mei and the Royal Family, however the visual side of story foreshadows what Baraka’s chapter will reveal - the sick people are treated like unwanted trash. Here alone, they aren’t peacefully led outside the city, they are bound like criminals - both (potentially) sick and those who refused to hand them over to the authorities for "quarantine" (a word used by Li Mei, but as next chapters will shown, the quarantine means banishment and dying slowly in miserable conditions). This one chapter alone gives us two sources about Edenia - Liu Kang’s words and the background details which frankly paint two different pictures. Liu Kang noted how Sindel spared no money for the festival and Tournament (Mileena added it is to honor the memory of Sindel’s late husband and her father)

and how he does not judge the Queen, only admire 

- but apparently the Queen cared more for Festival/Tournament and to make Edenia look as a great nation than she cared for her sick subjects who for years were dying in poverty, excluded and persecuted by edenian society. She even blamed Mileena for getting sick and said that to her face. Sindel also accepts Umgadi system that literally forces edenian families to give up their first daughters for training (indoctrination), so the ruling Family have a loyal Palace Guard to uphold their safety - and power -  and Liu Kang, like most of characters, admired those warriors showing no criticism toward such practices that strips born-free citizens from their freedom, family, even from right to fall in love. All in the service of Edenia’s monarchy. 

My point is, what we are told about Sindel - the beloved good Queen - and what we are shown by details happening in background or brought by tie-in materials (character BIOs, intro dialogues) are not mutually exclusive, but those for sure highlight the contradictory and flawed image the new Mortal Kombat saga introduced in its first installment . However the main criticism toward Sindel is not focused at presented by story flaws and errors, only at her relationship with Liu Kang and Earthrealm and comes from General Shao and his allies. Considering who he is, it is easy to side with Sindel yet we can’t say the game didn’t laid some solid ground for a very serious criticism, both for Sindel, the ruling Family and Liu Kang who always spoke highly about the Queen, King and Princesses.

Now, let’s talk about Bi-Han.

On one hand, intro dialogues and story mode itself are too consistent and repetitive about Bi-Han’s firm take on freedom & enslavement to think it is coincidence, especially for a character so sidelined as Sub-Zero was. Clearly, someone made a deliberate choice to emphasize those two values in regard to motives behind Bi-Han’s action, even if the official BIO itself appointed POWER as his main theme. 

On another hand, there is no doubt that the game was not intended to focus on Sub-Zero’s frustrations nor examine its roots in any great detail, at least not at this early stage of introducing a new timeline. It doesn’t help that Bi-Han was seen in two first chapters, one his own (ch. 8) and in following Scorpion’s (ch.9) to disappear from the story for good and returning as the Champion/Titan Sub-Zero only as an alternative choice of player.

However! Even with such limited focus, the game in my opinion laid enough ground, both as what we are told and what we are shown by story mode alone, to get the feeling Bi-Han’s frustration didn’t come out of nowhere. Could it be handled better? Of course! But I must disagree with the opinion that visual storytelling didn’t do its work. It may not hit fans straight in the face with all its nuances, yet there is a clear difference in how Lin Kuei characters are treated by Fire Lord in contrast to other Liu Kang’s Champions and friends.

And this is not just about Bi-Han, but also about the treatment of Kuai Liang and Tomas. 

For one, the story always presented Lin Kuei doing Liu Kang’s bidding - be it testing the new Champions or eliminating a threat (black op mission). We do not see Fire Lord interacting with them outside of Lin Kuei servitude, while he clearly spent time with Johnny, Kenshi, Raiden and Kung Lao outside of their main (game) purpose. This is especially visible at the end of the story, when all of them dinner together at Madam Bo’s, clearly celebrating their success. Bi-Han’s lack of presence is understandable, yet Kuai Liang and Tomas? All we are told about Scorpion is that he was tasked with making a new clan to replace the rebellious Lin Kuei (thus he is doing another bidding of Fire Lord while Champions are allowed to take a break and enjoy time with friends)

while Smoke is completely omitted - even though the man fulfilled his duty to Earthrealm as any other Liu Kang’s Champion did and now helps to build Shirai Ryu clan. 

Frankly, not acknowledging Lin Kuei in itself contrasts a lot with how Liu Kang interacted with his Outworld friends and Champions. Bi-Han has never been addressed as Grandmaster of Lin Kuei (nor by his codename?), even during introductions to Kung Lao, Raiden, Kenshi and Johnny. Meanwhile, the edenian Royal Family’s titles are always respected. Jerrod is called outright a friend and so is Geras - yet not once in story mode Liu Kang expressed regret over the premature death of Bi-Han, Tomas and Kuai Liang’s father. Smoke actually was omitted all the time by Liu Kang and visually/story-wise speaking, Liu Kang alienated Tomas more than Bi-Han did in the few scenes the brothers shared together.

Even the recruitment of new Champions is questionable. Liu Kang took Bi-Han - a Grandmaster who had his own duties to a whole clan  - on a trip to test the new fighters. Since Bi-Han and his men weren’t fighting to the fullest of their strength, what was the point of dragging Sub-Zero in the first place instead of just picking fighters more closely in level to Kung Lao, Raiden, Kenshi and Johnny? Was Bi-Han’s presence there truly necessary, when already two other sons of the late Grandmaster took part in the test too? All done just to lose so the precious Champions could brag about their victory? That alone must be frustrating if we remember that members of the Lin Kuei weren’t trained to fight the “honorable kombat match”, as in one on one, but to kill the enemy as fast as possible - as chapter 8 and 9 clearly showed.

Sure, the story mode - be it the words taken at face value or visual storytelling alone - didn’t go out of its way to hit us in the face about Bi-Han’s frustration yet there is a clear contrast in how Liu Kang treats his Lin Kuei subordinates and how he interacts with people he openly admires and likes. There are plenty of nuances laid out for people who will bother to look for those hints and compare them to the rest of presented material. 

Also, a thing worth to remember: just because Kuai Liang and Tomas are content with their life and duties, it does not mean Bi-Han shouldn’t be frustrated by things the way they are. Just because he is not trying to be sympathetic, doesn’t mean his feeling of injustice is invalid or that his points have no merit whatsoever.

I may be disappointed with the creators' choices, but I can't say that MK1 is devoid of nuances and interesting contradictions. All comes down to fans and their personal perception of what the story tells us through characters and what shows to actually happening.

[lemonhemlock]

No because all the anons talking about the Aemond x TB OC self insert fics are so real. Because those are so ridiculous derivative it is crazy

-White haired Targaryen looking child of Rhaenyra, probably named Visenya is either 1- takes after her mother because genetics don't exist 2-is the one trueborn daughter of Laenor and Rhaenyra who was conceived during consummation

-Can sword-fight, ride, talks like a 21st century woman, is a #girlboss and a 3rd wave feminist

-Takes Aemond's eye out as children instead of Luke being the one to do it

-Aemond somehow falls head over heels in love with her because she is #notlikeothergirls and just really really super hot

-Aemond abandons his family, his brothers, his sister, his mother and all the people he cares about to go fight for Rhaenyra because apparently the SI is just so hot and he is so in love with her

-They probably repeatedly have amazing super hot poorly written pre-marital sex but SI ofc doesn't get pregnant but there is no explanation like moon tea or anything

-Aemond calls his family out for being misogynistic haters or something for some reason????

- 639363 pages of Alicent bashing

-Aegon is the devil himself

-SI and Aemond get married and have children with white hair who they name after Rhaenyra and Daemon

-Author somehow managing to sneak in their own opinions that Rhaenyra is the one true heir and her and Daemon are innocent little saints who do no wrong

Just explained the plot of like a min. of 50 of Aemond x TB OC fics

i mean.... yeah :)) good for them for having their fun, but, bless their hearts, i had to check out

at the end of the day everyone can relate to this feeling of frustration when the majority of fics skew in a direction you're not a fan of. and every author should absolutely feel like they can post whatever they want and enjoy themselves; the target audience isn't always you and that's fine. but i simultaneously feel like venting these annoyances with like-minded people in your own space is also not a crime. sometimes we don't like stuff and want to gossip about it. it's really not that serious, everyone has the thinnest skin imaginable these days

it's like we've forgotten how to interact with one another. not liking something is not a personal affront to the person who does like it. it does not require outrage at the expressing of an opinion. it does not require a silencing campaign. you shouldn't expect others to keep quiet all the time just so your feelings won't be hurt. the fuck. especially when, i repeat, the tags can always be muted. what are you even doing interacting with the posts if the mere act of verbalizing a dislike bothers you so much?

there's a world of difference between occasional banter and sending authors hate, leaving disgruntled reviews, telling people to kms or insinuating that on your blog, casually accusing them of being illegal sexual deviants and whatever other deranged insults stans trade like candy and we definitely should stop acting like these two things are the same. you don't have to turn everything into a fight in the trenches

Anonymous asked: Yeah while I don't expect Alicent to be portrayed in every fic as the best mother who has no bad qualities since nobody is perfect it's becoming tiring to constantly read about how she's always trying to actively destroy her children's lives and is to blame for most things including the upcoming war while Rhaenyra is an amazing mother who truly loves her children and can do no wrong, like the worst she'll do is maybe arrange some unwanted marriage to her OC daughter or betroth her to another man who is not Aemond. I've come across to stories in which Alicent was abusive to Aemond for no reason other than she's a bad mother, was physically recoiled by his lost eye, turned and indoctrinated him into a religious extremist just like she's always portrayed in many fics or even tried to have Rhaenyra's daughter be assassinated just to prevent Aemond from defecting to the other side by marrying her and not the Baratheon daughter the greens want him to marry. To some extent I do believe it's very hard to avoid some OOC-ness from these characters since they're being put into new scenarios that didn't happen in canon and everything about this is being left to the author's personal interpretation which will naturally spark some debate whether or not what a certain character's actions are believable within their universe, however, due to the formulaic nature of a lot of those fics most characters (especially green ones if we're talking about Rhaenyra's daughter OCs) are brought to insane levels of OOC just to make their story work. Like yeah, if Aemond has constantly been abused by his mother (not physically necessarily), by Aegon, by his grandfather and, on top of that, Alicent and/or Otto try to have his beloved OC assassinated well, chances are this will make him denounce his family and switch sides sooner or later. Something that would've never happened under normal circumstances. Oh and I've also noticed a trend in quite a few of these fics of using Alys in cheating tropes and always turning her into an evil witch and seductress who tries to separate Aemond from the OC and use him for her own benefits…all I'm going to say is you don't want to see how demented and misogynistic people get about her in the comment sections. Anyway I'm sorry about extending this discussion about Aemond x OC fics and I hope it hasn't attracted too many weirdos who are spewing hate in your inbox!

i pretty much agree with you, anon, not much more to add. :))

[agentrouka-blog]

Why do Targaryen fans love incest so much and see nothing wrong with it and even consider it something good and "liberating" when incest is part of the patriarchy which is all about controlling women. What surprises me is that they don't see that the children in this family are indoctrinated and groomed from an early age into thinking that their sisters or brothers/nieces belongs to them. On top of that, these relationships are so broken and abusive and people think they are romantic for which I blame George Martin himself (he’s a fan of Jahaerys and Alyssane) and the headcons created by fans.

I would say GRRM has written Alysanne and Jaehaerys very deliberately as a deeply messed up dynamic that has been heavily romanticized by their dynasty and the surrounding culture. It hits some romantic markers (fidelity, childhood sweethearts, he rescues her from an unwanted betrothal, she has some influence over him) which makes it tempting to ignore all the awful angles.

I don't want to make assumptions about what motivates Targ fans. You'll have to ask them.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Funniest irony of Paris Special, is that Shadybug ("evil" version of S1!Ladybug) is "less bad" that S5!Ladybug, due to fact that she is ultimately just "minion of Supreme"

"I was awful, due to Supreme threatening me into compliance. What's your excuse?" - Question that Shadybug should ask to S5!Ladybug, but didn't, due to fact that it would cause latter to look bad (and "we can't have that")

Unless I'm missing something, I don't agree with your assessment of who is the badder one here. I'm assuming S5!Ladybug is getting the "bad" label for keeping everything a secret from Adrien? If so, then I get why that upsets you, but Shadybug is a domestic terrorist or possibly even a domestic and international terrorist. In the grand scheme of things, terrorism ranks much higher than lying to/keeping secrets from your significant other no matter how bad the lie/secret is. I love Adrien, but he is not more important than the safety of every person in Paris.

If I'm wrong and you were instead talking about S5!Ladybug keeping Gabriel's status a secret from Paris? Then I still don't agree. That's not worse than terrorism, especially since I don't even think that Ladybug was clearly in the wrong there.

I disagree with her telling people that Gabriel was some sort of hero - I would have just labeled him an "unfortunate victim" - but the threat is neutralized. Paris is safe. Is the general public really owed the full details of how it happened?

It's a complex question and I fall on the side of protecting the innocent here. Gabriel is dead. Outing him to everyone will just hurt Adrien. I've actually written and will write fics where Gabriel lives, but is neutralized, so he's still not outed because Paris isn't owed the fine details. Perhaps in the idealistic world we see at the end of season five this sort of grand reveal would be a good idea, but in a more realistic world, it would probably blow up in Adrien's face and possibly even force him to give up being a hero due to unwanted public attention. In order to protect him and the secrets of the miraculous, I am totally cool with Gabriel facing justice via non-conventional means. This is probably extra true because I'm not a big fan of punitive justice, so I try to find paths other than traditional jail when dealing with my villains.

I will possibly feel differently about all of the above if season six introduces Gabriel Agreste day or something, but the universe was rewritten by the wish, so maybe Marinette thinks that Gabriel really was a hero? Who knows. Canon is dead to me and, either way, active terrorism is still worse than Gabriel being posthumously seen as a hero.

In your ask you say that Shadybug was "just a minion," but that's not an excuse. If someone hands you a weapon and orders you to hurt another human being, the fact that you were "just obeying orders" doesn't undo the harm you cause by obeying the order. Those things still happened and they happened because of you.

There can be nuance to this depending on context, but that's kind of the problem with making these grand statements about the Paris special: we don't know anything about that other world. We don't know if Emonette has loving parents. We don't know how long she's been working for The Supreme. We don't know if she's been indoctrinated since childhood to obey the Supreme or if he operates from the shadows and she didn't know that he existed until she got her Miraculous. We don't even know what she's done! She could have killed millions! She could have also done nothing but chase after Betterfly. Without a full picture of what her life was like and what she's done, we cannot say that Shadybug is clearly the better person. I'm also having a hard time picturing any context that would lead me to give her that label. She might have a worse life than canon Marinette, but her crimes are still hers.

If you're making the argument that Emonette is more sympathetic than S5!Ladybug, then I might agree as her situation does have the potential to be far more sympathetic than Marinette keeping a massive secret from Adrien, especially when that secret has the potential to cause him very real harm. But that's not a case of our Marinette being worse than Emonette. Emonette is still a terrorist, making her the one who is irrefutably causing the most harm. We just don't see that harm on screen because it would undermined her frankly lackluster redemption.

Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy the Paris special, I'm just saying that it only works because we never have to think too hard about what Shadybug and Claw Noir have actually done. Their minimal screentime keeps them pretty tame and allows their redemptions to mostly work. If we'd spent five seasons watching them terrorize people, then their redemptions would probably have felt as lackluster as Gabriel's did.

Because we don't have all of that context, the emo versions fall into the same category as PV Felix: they're so underdeveloped that they're more of a concept than a true character, so you can imagine them as wonderful or as terrible as you would like them to be. They will never be marred by the prolonged influence of the writing staff. If we had a show that starred them, then you would probably feel very differently because it's the same writing staff writing them. I don't see a world in which these two are magically leagues better than what we got in canon.

All of this is reminding me of that excellent Eddie Izzard bit where he talks about horrific, large-scale crimes being so outside of what most people's minds can fathom that they just kind of go, "Oh, well, that's, huh..." because it's easier to know how to react to smaller, more personal wrongs:

[diagoose]

✍️ for any of your ocs!

character name meaning and symbolism

tysm!! i very much appreciated you dropping an ask, sorry it's taken me so long to answer, i get nervous lol.

i hope it's okay with you that I roll down with the answers for my two guys, fair warning, it got long lololol so it will be under the cut!

⛈️ Leigh's name - she is my lady of many names and nicknames

a bit of background, Leigh is a character that was adapted/changed to fit our dnd campaign(I view them as separate characters at this point, but for the lore her original name was Larisa). had a tricky time settling on a new name for this iteration but I eventually landed on Leigh. 

Leigh(pronounced like Lay) was named by her grandfather who raised her and her sister during her early life. it is sorta our game world’s equivalent of an anglicized version of her birth name Leikiinae, which roughly translates from draconic as: surprise.

Leigh is the surprise additional bebe(identical twin) from a (unwanted)surprise pregnancy, a surprise of a surprise if you will. technically, you can't really label a twin as the “surprise” because there is no way of knowing which person actually was the split off, but leigh's family sure did! which i feel is telling of the dynamic that was there.

Leigh has the nickname Beetle from Saerdis. She got lil iridescent blue scales like a lil beetle(and she scurries like a bug lololol). Saerdis practically raised Leigh, and there’s a lot of fondness there between the two.

Birdie is a pet name given to her by Griffin her fiance. He started calling her that when they were kids, after breaking her nose in a training incident. her nose in recovery was clogged for the next while, and in his 11-year-old opinion, she kinda squawked like a bird. as the years went by the context morphed into a much more endearing nickname. When they are signing to each other, Griffin will also use an iteration of the sign for a bird in flight as her name.

you may have also seen my tag for leigh as oc leigh/enna. Enna is the alias Leigh went by at the start of the campaign, as she was a deserter from the military and on the run. as the party called her Enna the whole first bit they knew her, she still uses it, and doesn't really view it as less her given name. Enna also means bird with gives me feelings.

💜 Griffin's name:

Griffin, like Leigh, is a character that is an iteration of my old oc. While I do also view him as a separate character, I always felt off about changing the name.

Griffin's name was chosen for a lot of reasons and symbolism and ✨️themes✨️ regarding his original iteration, for the sake of brevity and also not getting the two characters conflated, I won't really go into the details here. 

BUT, wonderfully, there was a really interesting crossover of similar themes even if the contexts of the characters were different. The name Griffin has a bit of a meta irony in the narrative, its irl historical association is tied up with myths, knights and chivalry, and it's much darker use as a symbol of the European crusades back in the middle ages.

This meta symbolism also extends in the fictional world they exist in as they are a symbol of the Emperor. 

Griffin was a child soldier who was indoctrinated with imperial beliefs, and used as a weapon to keep the forces of power in power. he was raised in a dogmatic religion that made him deeply ashamed of being a tiefling, made to believe that his redemption and salvation lay within the constructs of that empire and its military. he also idolizes mythic figures and stories of folk heroes, viewing them and their sacrifices as the pinnacle of masculinity that he should emulate. 

He believed that if he could become a “hero” in a sense, he would be “saved”. the themes VIBE here for the name's associations.

but also, his own morality and sense of right and wrong frequently contradicted these ideals, he is always being pulled two, between the ideals that he idolizes and were also forced onto him, and his quiet but very strong inner sense of morality and heroism which is often overlooked and rarely rewarded. 

His strong inner sense of true morality, made more willing to question the status quo, and grew disillusioned to the empire much sooner than leigh did. HE was the reason she eventually was also able to break away from their indoctrination and admit that they were sold into something horrific.

So his name being Griffin is both symbolic of the projections he had of what he should be vs the actual heroism he displays that will never be rewarded. two sides of a griffin stamped coin if you will.

also griffins are associated a bit with hedonism, and god does this guy deserve to heal from his catholic guilt and indulge in life a bit.

if you read this whole thing, omg hi, thank you, i hope you enjoyed the oc lore.

[deathinfeathers-a]

The exterminators are a distinctive choir of their own but they did not come about in the same fashion as the rest of heaven's native born denizen. They are a relatively small, self-contained society, one which the heavenly host has kept strictly segregated from the rest of the celestial kingdom for several millenia. Every exterminator who ever was has been born and raised inside the compound serving as the excorcist unit's base of operations. This is done namely to keep the annual purge under tight wraps and to ensure that this innately violent, combative and unruly caste of people does not cause a disturbance inside the rest of heaven's picture perfect society.

They are composed entirely of women and girls, governed by an exclusively male body of supervisors who's sole objective is to methodically break each member of the commune in via an elaborate system of indoctrination which starts as soon as a nestling exterminator is fit to attend their junior academy. The ultimate intent is to create perfectly obedient, perfectly subservient, perfectly objective oriented soldiers who possess very little in terms of superfluous opinions or emotions (save for that which is systematically instilled in them). If simple brainwashing does not do an adequate job at scrubbing any unwanted thoughts and inclinations from their minds a much crueler system of punishment and reward is implemented in order to achieve the desired results. The herd is culled once a year in order to get rid of any stragglers who refuse to fall in line.

Winners do make up a small percentage of the excorcist population; If a mortal soul causes a great enough disturbance in heaven they will be sent to serve alongside the true-born members of the unit for the rest of their immortal lives. They are usually considered to be weak and are generally shunned by the women of the compound.

Adam sits at the very top of this totem pole, though he is more of a figurehead, in essence, who's involvement with the day-to-day going-ons inside the base itself is little to none until it's time to rally the troops into action. Lute on the other hand is much more wrapped up with the actual machinations of the system and travels to the compound every Sunday to conduct sermons and lead various combat courses for the fledgling members of the commune. She has spent over nine centuries of her 1000+ years of life serving directly under Adam. For somebody of her ilk, she leads an exceedingly cushy lifestyle thanks to her association with him. That's not to say she was, by any means, spared the harsher reality of what it means to be an excorcist before she came to be regarded as an extension of the commander himself.

[forestofforever]

So tempted to bring Jeremy back as a muse.

He was part of my old blog for a while until I deleted most of my muses, but I'll admit that Jeremy was definitely one of the ones that was more difficult to let go of.

See, Jeremy was an angel that didn't realize he was an angel. This mostly manifested in him causing glass to break and lights to flicker when upset, as well as his shadow having wings on occasion, but there's a lot of lore behind it that I won't dump on here just yet.

Jeremy was unwanted and his mother eventually abandons him, causing the town's priest to adopt him. Jeremy grew up somewhat sheltered while also being pretty strongly indoctrinated by his adoptive father. This for instance causes him to view homosexuality as a sin (which makes his own bisexuality a rather frustrating thing for him to deal with). The priest has been performing rituals to repress Jeremy's angelic side, but by doing so, Jeremy's health has begun to suffer.

Jeremy for the most part seems like the perfect type of person to befriend. Kind, helpful, generally cheerful... but unlike someone like Wester, this isn't entirely genuine. He can be pretty judgmental and he bottles up his emotions until they explode (sometimes literally, considering the whole angel thing). He's often sickly and weak, being prone to fainting, and having to stay in bed for days on end when things get bad.

He owns an antiques shop in his more recent versions of the character. He also worked for Benjamin in one of the older versions, which could be an interesting element to bring back.

Maybe I'll bring him back someday.

[skaldish]

Reciting a prayer to drown out unwanted thoughts sounds identical in essence to some of what I and others go through with OCD. To me, it feels like people who are being told to address their thoughts this way are having an OCD-like mental state imposed upon them. I don't know what that experience would be like for someone without OCD, but it can't be good. I can confidently say that if a young person with OCD was put into that situation, it would make their condition magnitudes worse. I knew that OCD often latches onto religious anxiety, but that example is much more dangerous than I had imagined.

Yup. It's simultaneously a form of thought-termination and self-indoctrination.

[falloftheusurperau]

Arc 1: Escape from Fleecy Fields

Prologue

A quick look into Narinder's thoughts as the bishops are brought to the cult, memories erased and reduced to the same miserable state as him. Meanwhile, the lamb has a great surprise for him...

When Leshy arrived in the village, it was with a great cacophony. He materialized through the designated sigil meant for the yet-to-be-indoctrinated, but rather than cowering on his knees he began screaming the moment he arrived in full. Screeching in a visceral, jagged way from deep in his throat, now-stubby little fingers clawing at his face.

Seemed his pain tolerance was significantly lower as a mortal. One of the unfortunate consequences of being torn from godhood. Part of Narinder feels smug, watching the slimy wretch that used to be his brother writhe in pain. His bandages are quickly soaking through with red blood and black ichor alike, beginning to well up and trickle down his chin and neck.

“MY EYE-E-ES!” he had wailed loud enough to shatter glass and draw more than a dozen curious, frightened stares. “My- My eyes!” he scrubbed fruitlessly at the bandages wound tight around his face. “I can’t see…! My crown, where is- where am I- my eyes!”

His helpless pawing at his face only tapers off when he begins to sob, and Narinder turns away. He’d seen Leshy cry enough to know it would become a messy affair, and he had no desire to bear witness or to listen to his demonic shrieking.

It felt weird for Narinder to see his brother again. It's been a very long time since he had contact with any of his siblings. He didn't know how his brother felt towards him. Probably hatred. Maybe some sort of disgust? He can't help but remember the old times when Leshy threw a tantrum because a follower stepped on a bunch of his special flowers. Kinda nostalgic.

The sudden bout of unwanted, ancient memories makes him sneer, and he pushes the thoughts from his head. He had no brothers or sisters or siblings to speak of.

He doesn’t see Leshy again for several days. Word travels swiftly through the grapevine and apparently, he had tried to go for the lamb’s throat. They hadn’t mentioned it to him, though, so that could hardly be counted as fact. For better or worse, the little woolen wretch told him everything.

A tiny one-room cottage at the edge of the southern fields, that’s where the lamb put Leshy. Assigning him to tend the fields was smart, even he could admit–mortal now though he may be, the bagworm had a way with plants. The greenest thumb anyone could ever bear witness to, and nothing was immune to it: fruits, vegetables, flowers, brambles, shrubs, it didn’t matter. If it had leaves, Leshy was good at it.

Things were oddly very quiet in the aftermath. There wasn’t so much as a sprinkle of resistance after those first few days. Pretty soon, Leshy was everywhere, it seemed–he attended the daily morning sermon like everybody else, he happily stood in line at the kitchens for his meals, and he had a grand time mucking about in the soil watering seeds and pulling weeds. Narinder had seen him damn near skipping at one point, arms swinging merrily with his completely rhetorical straw sunhat on. His aura was carefree, airy, almost sunny.

“...don’t you find it strange?”

“Nope!” the lamb is cheerful as ever, popping the ‘p’ and giving him a lopsided grin. “Without his crown he’s harmless, and without his heart-”

Ah. Right. His immortal heart.

“You mean…?”

The lamb nods. “He doesn’t remember.”

Oh. Well. He honestly wasn’t sure if that was a blessing or a curse.

For a moment Narinder pondered what, perhaps, life would be like for him, if he had forgotten… would he jump in the fields, pray like the most devoted follower or maybe consecrate resources like nobody else could? Would he sport blank eyes and a wide devoted smile?

Ugh. No, even in the grips of amnesia he would never smile. How could he? This would be misery with or without his memories.

“...hey,” the lamb’s hand gently comes down on his shoulder and they give him their gentlest smile. “He’s ok, you know? He’s safe, he’s happy. This is better for him.”

Narinder sighs and rolls his eyes, turning his gaze from theirs.

“...Nari,” the lamb moves in front of him, this time grabbing his hands. He holds eye contact diligently, but keeps his face neutral. “I… know this is probably really hard for you. But he was suffering, they’re all suffering. I’m…” they blink and their shoulders slump ever-so-slightly. “I’m sorry, that he doesn’t remember you. But, maybe now you can try-”

“NO!” he yanks back from them and folds his arms. “I want nothing to do with them! They can rot!”

And that’s the end of their conversation. The lamb presses a soft, gentle kiss to his cheek and goes on their way, and Narinder watches them go, chest burning with hatred. The Red Crown had never had quite such an unworthy bearer before.

Narinder sighs. It was more of a grunt than a sigh; looking at his brother's happy demeanor disgusts him. He turns and goes back to his hut, laying on that pile of hay the lamb calls a bed. He stares at the ceiling for a solid minute or two before closing his eyes.

When Heket arrives it’s with much less fanfare than Leshy, though a great part of that is because she can’t speak. Without her crown the utter lack of vocal chords has rendered her almost entirely mute. She’s in a terrible state, emaciated and starving, skin stretched tight over her ribs and jaw, limbs gone wiry, cheeks gaunt and eyes sunken. Her lips are cracked and bloody, and she can barely stand. Starvation had hit her hard and fast, and Narinder secretly smirks in the background. Served her right.

She, too, tried to attack the lamb, but despite her severely weakened state she was still just as fast and vicious as he remembered: no sooner had she arrived had she lunged at the lamb and sunk her teeth into their neck. Blood sprayed violently from the wound as she ripped them apart, ravenous in her appetite and in her hatred for them. They collapse backwards, light already vanished from their eyes as the most loyal and brave amongst the cultists lunge to separate the two of them. Even in her starving state it takes 3 people to hold her back; she only stops struggling when a familiar voice starts shouting over the crowd.

“Let me through, l-lemme through!” and Leshy emerges, elbowing people out of his way, hands outstretched and patting at the air as he struggled to navigate. Usually his hearing was his greatest aid, but with all the screaming that ability was severely dampened.

“Heket?!” he calls, spinning blindly in a circle as his hands search desperately for her. “Heket, Hex, is that you?! I- I smell you, where are you?!”

“...eh’shee…!” is the tiny, pathetic noise that manages to squeak out of her heavily damaged throat, and she forcefully shrugs off those trying to keep her in place, driving her elbow into Treon’s abdomen at the same moment she brings the heel of her foot down harshly on Juju’s toes with a sickening ‘crack!’ of shattering bones. Freed of their clutches, Narinder watches her rush over to Leshy: as soon as she touches him, the younger of the two throws his arms around her and starts bouncing in place. Her stick-thin arms return the hug, and tears start sliding down her face.

“...s- still-” she coughs, a harsh, wet noise, and fresh blood stains the bandages at her neck. “...alive…!”

“Yeah! Y- Yeah, I am-!” Leshy’s a blubbering mess, clinging to her arm and nuzzling his face into her shoulder. “And- And so’re you! I can’t believe you’re here, Hex! I missed you sooo much, and I-” he pauses very suddenly, lifting his face til they’re nearly nose-to-nose. “Why do you smell like blood?”

“Great question, Leshy!” the lamb is back on their (feet once more, hands clasped before them and a tight smile curled over their face. Their voice us grating with displeasure, as they continue, “Your sister must be starving. Why don’t you take her to the kitchens for a nice meal?”

“Ok!” Leshy salutes playfully and then immediately starts dragging a thoroughly-flabbergasted Heket away.

It was the same for her as it was with Leshy: within 3 days time her immortal memories had faded to obscurity and she started living life like every other unremarkable mortal here. She took to sign language at lightning speed, and joined Leshy in field work on only her second morning. She moved into the same house as him: Leshy’s personal request, apparently, and the lamb thought it was just darling that he wanted to share living quarters with his big sister. She was a lot less chipper than him–even before she lost her voice, she’d always been a very surly, serious individual–but was entirely amicable to the goings-on of life in the cult. Leshy had volunteered wholeheartedly to care for her, pestering her to always eat seconds at mealtimes and making sure she didn’t overdo it while she was in recovery. Being in such a state of emaciation was dangerous and he was determined to make sure she was back to full health as quickly as possible.

The two of them became a pair, rarely seen without the other: Leshy was always hanging off of her arm, letting her guide him around, while he talked her ear off. She’d always nod and grunt in response, not able to do much else, but Narinder suspected that Leshy understood everything she meant even without words. They’d always been close like that.

Kallamar’s arrival is the funniest. No sooner has he been yanked through the portal is he stumbling backwards, arms raised as if to shield his face and begging for mercy, “No no no no no, please no, no, s-stay away, stay back-!”

The lamb follows him, hands raised as if for peace, trying to soothe him. “It’s alright, Kallamar, I’m not going to-”

The squid promptly turns the color of guacamole and projectile vomits all over both of them. The lamb bleats in surprise and leaps backwards, and Narinder slaps one hand over his mouth to keep from laughing. Kallamar is still dry heaving, wiping his mouth and looking on in horror when his color undergoes another drastic change: all the blood drains out of his face, turning his cheeks ashen, and he’s barely mumbled out a half-slurred, “I don’... feel’so…!” before dropping like a sack of flour, slumping into the dirt, wholly unconscious.

Narinder observes silently as someone is sent to fetch Heket and Leshy: the two of them come running and flock to Kallamar’s side at once; Heket checks his pulse like she’s been doing it forever, and Leshy presses their foreheads together to gauge his temperature. The lamb agrees to let them take him away to rest; the indoctrination can come later, once they’d had a bath and Kallamar is awake.

Unlike the other two, Kallamar’s presence never becomes a constant. Their cottage is once again upgraded and they’re given two more beds–no doubt in his mind who the fourth one is for–and Kallamar rarely leaves his. According to Leshy’s ramblings, Kallamar has quote, “Always been really frail and sickly, you know? Ever since we were little.”. Had the loss of their immortal memories been complemented by the implanting of new, false ones? Because that wasn’t true in the slightest. The few times Narinder had walked past their cozy little house though, there was always some sort of miserable sound of the ill and abed coming from it. Coughing fits from full lungs and desperate sneezing and the horrible sickening sound of gagging, all courtesy of one very unhealthy squid. It was rare to see him more than thrice a month, it was so bad. Narinder theorized that, as the god of pestilence, his body had been a natural breeding ground for disease, hosting a countless slew of potent bacteria and viruses so he was always ready to inflict it on the heretical. But now, his power over plague was gone, but the ailments themselves hadn’t been purged from his system.

Leshy and Heket became a less common sight as well, taking turns tending their sick brother. The healing bay was out of the question: though the lamb could use their magic and camellias to cure him, he was always set upon by another disease in less than half a day. It was a waste of their medicinal stores and his siblings were protective, insisting point blank that they could take care of Kallamar and needn’t bother anyone else with it. The squid attended less than half the daily sermons and, though he was qualified as a doctor, never saw any patients because he was always so unwell and contagious.

The first winter since the trio joined them, their presences plummet to an all time low. The cold weather and, more importantly, the wet, freezing snow ensures the oldest of the three is battling with raging fevers and bronchitis for the entire season. Leshy and Heket start becoming more and more scarce, and no one is surprised when they’re both reported sick. Honestly, the only surprising part is that it took a winter storm to knock the three of them down, considering they lived with Kallamar. They recovered just as most everyone else did in time, and were always back to work within a week. Heket got significantly slower and lethargic during the cold season; more than once Narinder had seen her nodding off in the middle of a task. She’d never hibernated through winter before and so was stubbornly refusing her body’s call. It was no wonder she got sick more often than Leshy did that winter–5 times to his 2.

Narinder wondered just when the lamb was planning to retrieve Shamura. The winter came and went, making way for the warmth of spring as life was breathed back into the Fleecy Fields, blades of grass and shy tree leaves peaking their heads out once more, slowly turning the land green and lush once more. Leshy and Heket returned to the fields as soon as they were able to, sowing the first seeds of spring the day the frost fully melted and left the soil soft and tillable once more. Kallamar stayed inside, and though the warm weather did help finally chase away the infections in his lungs, he was miserably allergic to just about everything coming back to life with the fresh season, and was still laid up in bed with spring colds and flus and sinus infections.

Narinder would have felt bad for him, but it honestly just made a curl of satisfaction coil into his belly. Even without his memories, at least someone else was suffering in this hell with him.

Spring turned to summer, the air became sticky and heavy with moisture before the lamb brought Shamura to them.

Shamura was in a state all their own: they didn’t speak or flinch or react in the slightest when they were dragged through the portal. Narinder hardly recognized them, whereas before they had been tall and willowy and graceful, now they were short and round and nubby. They were clumsy, always stumbling, always looking lost. Shamura wandered off somewhere they weren’t supposed to be as a daily occurrence in their first several weeks of living in the Fields with the cult. They were always confused, and the lamb said it was the brain damage. Narinder could believe it; even as a god having such a drastic injury had taken a toll on them, but as a mortal they hardly seemed like a person anymore. So forgetful, so absent minded, so… listless. What was it the mortals called it? Demented? Demential? Something like that. Shamura seemed to embody it to perfection.

The lamb decided that Shamura was best put to use on their knees in reverent prayer and worship, so every morning Heket or Leshy would drop them off at the shrine and they’d stay there for most of the day, free of disturbances and constantly producing a steady stream of devotion for the lamb to feed their crown. It was much better than them getting distracted in the fields and wandering into the woods, at any rate.

Only when Shamura has settled in amongst them and summer is at it’s peak does the dreaded question come.

“Will you marry me?”

Narinder has never fostered such hatred for anyone before, not even his thrice-damned siblings. The lamb had pulled him away from prying eyes and they’d sat for a picnic together: he tucked the wretched beast under one arm and pressed a meaningless kiss to the top of their head. He’d even accepted a spoonful of food from them when they offered to feed it to him. They watched the sunset together, wrapped in each other’s arms and embracing like the lovers the lamb thought they were.

Then, when the zenith of the sun had dipped below the horizon, the lamb had stood up. Grabbed his hands and folded gracefully to their knees. Peering up at Narinder with round eyes full of hope and boundless love, they’d asked, breathlessly: “Will you marry me?”

Narinder covers his mouth with one hand. He’d prepared for this. His eyes moisten on command and he stares them down for several tense seconds like he can’t quite believe it.

“...what?!” his voice comes out choked up. Wet. Perfect.

“I said, will you marry me?” the lamb repeats it. They squeeze his hands and draw in a tense breath, betraying their nerves. “Narinder… it’s been three long years, and… I want to spend the rest of my immortal life with you. There’s no one else I’d rather have by my side, so I ask you again: will you marry me?”

His stomach twists into knots and his heart plummets. Disgust wells on his tongue but he swallows down the venomous words he wants to spit.

“I-” he sniffles. “I…!”

“Oh my gods,” the lamb blinks at him. “Nari, are- are you cryi-”

“NO!” he shoves them away and turns his back, wiping furiously at his eyes. “Sh- Shut up!”

“Those are, uh, happy tears, right…?” he hears the lamb rise to stand. “Hey, Narinder, th- that’s a yes, right?”

“Of course it’s a yes, you fool!” he whirls around to trap them in his arms. He kisses them, long and deep, and his skin crawls. How mortals could enjoy this wet, slimy sensation he would never understand. 

Narinder wasn't surprised when he found out the lamb had already planned the majority of the ceremony behind his back. No sooner have they returned from their romantic getaway are they swarmed by eager followers, reporting that the feast will be ready by morning, that they've finished decorating the pews and the ceremonial garments are ready to go, they just need to do a last minute fitting with Narinder to ensure that the hems are the perfect length. He's dragged off by the clothier, an old pangolin called Merga, and a solid, cold dread like a block of lead drops into his stomach.

The wedding is tomorrow.

[mmriesoftvat]

Thoughts on Arlecchino, under the cut for mild spoilers

I have thought SO MUCH about how she'd treat her children at the House of Hearth. I even talked a bit with Saint (@haereses) about it, because we both share similar thoughts on how the harbingers tend to operate, especially where children are concerned.

There's no real doubt that the harbingers are horrible people. That's the narrative we, as the audience are given, and that's the narrative that we, as the traveler see, first hand. We know they're awful.

But in truth, the harbingers are just high standing in civilization. What they do and how they operate is still a secret to the rest of the world. Most people don't see the fatui in general as this evil organization, we only know that because the officials in each nation tell us what they're doing.

Arlecchino would not run her orphanage as a torture house. She genuinely loves the children there. She provides all the basic necessities they'd need to survive: comfortable beds, warm food, a roof over their heads, and even a safe environment where she can provide an education. it's a home, it's a safe haven for all the unwanted children.

THE DIFFERENCE HOWEVER

is that Arlecchino absolutely is using it as a front to raise soldiers. She is giving them a pro Snezhnaya education, a pro-fatui stance, and she is very much teaching them to fight from a very young age.

With the younger kids, she gives them wooden weapons and encourages rough play. They can't seriously hurt each other, and they learn how to fight with these toy weapons. They learn how to hit, how to dodge hits, and there are times when Arlecchino will step in and teach basic moves to help them learn even more. These young children are also made aware of the other harbingers. Presuming they stop by and give the kids candy and other treats to win them over, the children would not know any better. It's how Arlecchino prefers it. They're still young and malleable, easy to mold in favor of the fatui.

When the children grow older, Arlecchino will give them actual, but small weapons, such as knives and daggers. They learn more fighting skills, they learn more advanced techniques. It's also at this age when Arlecchino either starts taking her stronger children and teaching them fatui fight tactics, or the weaker children to send them to stay with Dottore. They like the harbinger, the kids don't know what is actually happening until it's too late.

But the stronger of her orphans will then start being heavily indoctrinated with pro fatui/pro harbinger everything, being told that if they're good, the Tsaritsa herself will acknowledge their good work. It works. And because Arlecchino provided for these kids for so many years, they feel nothing but love and admiration for her.

In Lyney and Lynette's cases, the fact that they still refer to her as 'Father' and seem loyal to her still is a very good sign -- for her. Because Arlecchino genuinely cares for them, they are her children, and the only one allowed to shape their world view and twist it around is her. The traveler turning their back on the twins is a good thing in her opinion, it means she can still insert her fingers into that offense and twist it around so she comes out on top.

Arlecchino may be a manipulative harbinger and her own goals are still mostly up in the air (not counting Fontaine's prophecy), but she is still protective of her children, and if they get hurt, she's going to pick up the pieces and make sure they know their father loves them.