#until i physically not walk
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boyfriend™️
#until my throat memorizes the veins#until i physically not walk#until im oozing his nut out of me after he crampies me#until the neighbors make a formal complaint to the leasing office and the police#nicholas chavez#nicholas alexander chavez#lavender baby
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There are many things people expect from one called 'God of Blood'. Always, the first thought is the blood of war, the blood of violence, the blood of the weak shed for the goals of the strong. Ares doesn't think of the blood of battle at all. When he thinks of blood, he envisions the many tied knots of blood bonds and bonds forged in the blood of battle. Blood sons and blood daughters, blood brothers and battle sisters, blood oaths and blood vengeance - he watches over them all and keeps close each one of these bonds.
One cannot begrudge his displeasure then when he realises he cannot tell Leto's offspring apart just by looking at them.
It was easier when it was just Artemis. Dark hair curled about her shoulders, a fierce mien whenever Father summons her to the mountain, a scattering of bones and blood shed whenever she was disturbed; the eldest child of Leto was a wild thing, sharp toothed with sharper claws always at the ready. There's whispers of her being a twin, of her other half being made to crawl on their belly as penance for their sin of god-slaying but Ares pays it little mind. What twins look alike among their number? Even dog litters are born distinct with all their unique markings inlaid in their fur. Artemis' twin too would be much more than their sister's mirror image.
Pouring over his list now, he wishes anything about Phoebus Apollo was that simple.
Mirror image did not begin to describe it. The twins were the same height, the same build, had the same colour and texture hair, ate the same raw food and drank the same amount of nectar. There was no difference in how they dressed, no difference in the company they kept, no variance in the weapons they used. There are some days Ares still cannot believe Phoebus will grow into a man and not some nymph with the way his ears have that slender point. He watches them now, sitting together beneath a shady palm and stringing their bows in an uncanny unison and curses because he still cannot tell them apart. What use is his skill in knowing blood when they both have the same damn blood running through their veins? What bond is there to sense when they are tied so tightly together, Ares can scarcely tell brother from sister?
He sighs. Unadorned and completely alone, the only way to know who is who is to speak to them. He'll have to find more ways to tell them apart from a distance. Surely they cannot stay this similar all the rest of their immortal lives.
#ginger writes#hello and welcome to my 'ares is doing his best' corner#I can't overstate enough how alike Artemis and Apollo are as young gods physically#literally identical twin status which only begins to change as they acquire different domains#I was really happy with the font I got because it very closely resembles what I imagine Ares' handwriting to be like#But I'll gladly add an image description if it's too illegible#That said Ares has an interesting dynamic with the twins#In a lot of ways there's a sense of guilt/wariness surrounding him for Apollo and Artemis#because he knows how much they stress his mother out and he also knows how much Hera doesn't like Leto#But there's also a bit of fascination because Artemis is extremely strong#(in a way that's markedly different from Athena's strength)#while Apollo has all of these crazy stories attached to him from killing Python + his work while exiled#but when he returns he's very placid and calm and almost?? too nice? Definitely nothing like Artemis#in terms of personality#Ares doesn't really trust it until he learns that straight up that's just What Apollo Is Like#That too will change eventually but for now Ares just doesn't want to approach Artemis the way he'd approach Apollo#because he'd get his head caved in with the curved side of a bow#There are precious few encounters Ares has had with Artemis where he hasn't walked away with#at least a few arrow wounds LMAO#He'll eventually be forced to accept that it's Artemis' love language#ares#artemis#apollo#pursuing daybreak posting#writing
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one pet peeve of mine in founders-era fanfics is when madara's whole,,,, everything is solved by izuna just being there
like maybe this is just me, but i don't think izuna surviving or even coming around to the idea of a truce with the senju would've been enough to keep madara from the path he ended up on.
izuna wasn't the reason he left - he was definitely part of madara's issues, but he wasn't the why. even if izuna had stuck around, and even if that had been enough to keep the uchiha clan from losing their faith in madara, i think he would've still come to realize konoha wasn't what he'd hoped it would be.
best case scenario, i think izuna's survival might've caused madara to stick around a bit longer, but i don't think it would've lasted. honestly, even then, that might've just made the inevitable break-up between madara and hashirama even more agonizing (particularly for izuna)
it's a fun idea to play around with for sure, but frankly i don't think canon!madara could've ever been 'saved' from that path. certainly not if the hidden village system ended up getting set up in the same way.
#naruto#naruto shippuden#meta#uchiha madara#uchiha izuna#senju hashirama#from the moment madara was born into that world he was doomed to walk that path i think#most fics that have izuna live and madara still leave that i've seen keep izuna's death as the catalyst. but moved down a bit#which i understand#but imo it'd be more interesting to explore how izuna would feel about his brother's choice#bc as much as people like to view izuna as like a super big bro supporter. he really REALLY isn't#his loyalty is to the uchiha clan#we're explicitly shown that if forced to pick between the clan's interests and madara's dream izuna will pick the clan#both as a kid when he and tajima fought tobirama and butsuma#and as an adult when he used his last words (or the last words hashirama ever heard from him) to further that divide#the clan chose konoha over madara. and i think izuna - as against the idea as he was to begin with - would've also#not bc he doesn't love his brother. bc his loyalty is and always will be to the uchiha clan#hell madara was the same until he was physically forced to stop#first by hashirama trying to use his own life as a bid for peace between their families#and later by the uchiha clan's rejection of madara himself#madara is like. if the doomed hero trope was the antagonist#having said all of that zetsu was never going to let izuna live bc he needed madara to get the eternal mangekyou sharingan#and izuna was the only one of his siblings who lived long enough to see him get the regular sharingan. so it had to be him#but like i said even if that weren't the case it wouldn't have mattered#madara believed that the end - the world of dreams - would justify the means. if izuna hadn't given up his eyes freely...#well. it's not like people didn't end up thinking madara had taken them anyway#i don't think even naruto could've saved madara really#the only thing anyone could've saved him from was dying alone#which is what would've happened if everyone except him was in the infinite tsukuyomi when kaguya came back#and honestly even tho all three of his deaths had other people there (hashirama then obito then hashirama again)
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fast sketch for today💓💓
#god these two are so cute will I ever stop drawing them ????#NO😤😤#anyways I am so tired today😭🙏#woke up at 5am & I’ve drank so much coffee!!#I have a lot of work this afternoon so I wanted to take advantage of my morning#deep cleaned/ran errands/walked the goblins#I’m about to exercise and idk why but I decided I’ve been too lazy about things lately#and I’m pushing myself so much with lifting these days I am SO SORE#(but like the good type of sore)#I just want my thighs to be more muscular 😭😭😭😭😭 lots of squats deadlift bulgarians hip thrust etc etc etc#at least I know by next week I will already see the results 🙏🙏 then I’ll be lazy again until they fade 😭#I have never managed to be obsessive about exercise or really enjoy it I just do the bare minimum to stay healthy#and hopefully my body will thank me as I get older#bc my job is so physical that I really need to take care of things or I could really mess things up for the future#tbh I’ve always noticed that tattoo artists always lift a lot🤝🤝#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fanart#hphl#imelda reyes#poppy sweeting#imelda reyes x poppy sweeting
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I think it just hit me that I’m actually getting better
#like it feels silly to happen now bc I’ve been on my new meds for months but I was getting worse for so long#and like my physical health is still very two steps forward one and a half back but#this week I’ve been doing things my brain wouldn’t have let me do at all a few months ago because the risk of being sick and making a mess#was too high according to my risk assessment#and I just casually did them multiple times this week without realizing it until after#I walked around in just my underwear. I left the bathroom to grab a towel and dry off#I got changed in my room#I haven’t trusted my body enough to do those since like at latest February 2023#probably a lot earlier#I ate beans yesterday#I didn’t get scared about not being sick today#normally I get very scared if I’m not because it’s interrupting the routine and what if it means I’m sick at a less manageable time#I just. like I think I’m actually getting better
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I’m gonna go work on some more of the ficmas things to hopefully get rid of my stress 💃💃💃I’ll see yall on the other side
#nina rambles~✦#Im gonna mini vent here#so like full warning don’t read if you don’t wanna see my crap lmao#It’s been a shit show from the start !#at work I nearly had a panic attack and had to call my friend to bring me down because a damn episode of kitchen nightmares flared my trauma#I was heavily verbally and physically abused by my ex#and hearing the guy in the episode berate and say shit to his fiancée just brought me back to where I was in her position#and I couldn’t bring myself to stop watching for some god forsaken reason#so my heart just kept sinking and sinking and my anxiety kept growing until it spilled over#so that’s that#and then I have something really important going on tomorrow morning#I just came home from a 9.5 hour soft#shift*#and when I walked through my front door#intense anxiety over this thing suddenly settled in#and so I’m exhausted#haven’t eaten#stressed#and already went through shit#and it’s all culminating together to me just being at a breaking point rn#and ugh#I’m just really not in a good place right now#so im gonna write and see if that helps!!!#fingers crossed!!!
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Imagine bringing 15th century metalbeard to see a 3d movie
#he would try and grab at the screen#and then be confused when he couldnt feel it#and he would flinch if anything popped out and then when he figures out it cant actuallu touch him hes like#‘what in the blubbering sea turtles…..’ squinting at the screen#or something#( i cant pirate talk LOL)#the lego movie#headcanons#hes taking the glasses on and off thr whole time not even paying attention to the movie#seeing the pictures jump out in front of him and then the flat 2d images and hes like#‘what kind of sorcery……….’#benny is at his side patting his leg while he waves his arms around at this nonsense and being a nuisance#everyone in the theatre hates him btw#and hes taken up a quarter of the back row#hes shouting at the screen and clearly in physical distress#and benny still patting his leg like ‘hey man. its okay. youre okay’#metalbeard walking out the theatre like he was on a spiritual retreat#feeling like his lifes been changed#no one can tell if he liked it or not; but until further notice hes banned from going to the movies. just to play it safe
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You know what they say… Save a horse ride a cowboy
https://www.instagram.com/p/DBRdlhGssGW/?igsh=MTZ1cWQ5cjhxcWhjcw==
Well, call PETA. I’m going to save horse.
#I need to ride him until my legs physically cannot do it any more#until my body recognizes his organ as mine#and then I will walking bow legged#until I’m stuffed like a cream donut#need to have him drip down my thigh#I’m going to ride him like a mechanical bull#he’s going to have to plead for mercy and respite#and then!#I’ll give him the nastiest wettest most enthusiastic head#It’s going to sound like he’s getting tortured#until the room stinks and the wallpaper peels off the walls#checo fucker hours
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toxic yuri fans you NEED to get your hands on Black & White: Tough Love at the Office it is SO good and so bananas crazy
Some images because oh my god:
#k talks#yuri#gl#toxic yuri#black & white tough love at the office#two INSANELY competitive office ladies trying to outdo each other. beating each other up. having sex. beating each other up during sex#they're perfect for each other (too weird to be with anyone else) and also the way this artist draws women.... the power games....#OUGH. volume 2 doesn't come out until July (but it does have an English physical release!!!!) but I think it's all available online too#RUN don't walk to your nearest comics store. or Crunchyroll. or bookshop.org. wherever. just get your hands on this I'm So Serious
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I will think that the many years working towards being a well-adjusted person has paid off but then I see an untagged spoiler and immediately become reacquainted with the deep primordial rage that sits within me at all times
#girl it’s not that serious#but I also need to go walk into the ocean now and not emerge until the game is physically in my hands#like i can’t SLEEP#where’s that drawing of the dog w so much rage it’s reached a point rigor mortis#girl calm down#this is about dragon age btw#da4
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Interesting. Don’t necessarily think I’m autistic but I have more going on than just ADHD and I’m not sure what that is.
#I’m not even sure if the ADHD is actually ADHD either or if it’s just technology addiction#Gonna get a REAL neuropsych evaluation at some point out of sheer curiosity as to what the fuck is wrong with me#I relate to a lot of autistic things and I relate to a lot of ADHD things; but I don’t entirely relate to the majority of either population#and I don’t relate to people with both enough to think I have both#I’ve begun treating myself as if I am autistic just for Kicks and using things that help them and it’s helping in some ways#but I know it’s probably not autism because even though I struggle socially; it’s not because of the same reasons#I understand social cues; I was only accidentally perceived as rude as a kid (and most kids are kind of blunt)#(Mostly a moderate amount of “Stop correcting me! It’s disrespectful!” from my parents)#And nowadays because of how much psychology and acting I study; I can perceive shrimp social cues#And I’m purposefully doing all the right things but it still feels like I fail social interactions because of my lack of assertiveness#which I KNOW come from being raised in a cult#so perhaps my odd social behavior is from CPTSD from being raised in a puritan doomsday cult as an only child#Because I was NOT introverted or sensitive to others as a child#I did not have routines as a child and the ones I did have were for fun and did not distress me if I strayed from them#But now I need structure as an adult because I don’t know what else to do with myself if I have nowhere to be#But at the same time everyone feels worse when they have no routine or expectations#And is it actually inattentive ADHD or severe derealization and an itch to do as many things as possible#because I spent my childhood being raised in a boring doomsday cult by disabled older parents who couldn’t physically do much?#(And I don’t fault my parents for being disabled but I do fault them for the whole doomsday cult thing)#So I spent my whole childhood doing mentally tedious things when really I’m more wired for physically spontaneous things#Because I was not allowed to walk around the neighborhood alone until I was sixteen#And I couldn’t hang out with friends I wanted to hang out with because they were bad association#So of course I got really good at drawing even though I don’t even like drawing that much#Of course I got really good at writing even though I don’t like writing that much#Now that I don’t need to escape from anything I find I actually hate drawing and writing because it’s such a chore#they make my heart rate accelerate in a way I don’t like to feel#(I hate writing less than drawing)
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in my quest to quell my pain ive only hurt myself worse. damned if i do damned if i dont.
#i need better coping mechanisms but it’s so easy to just turn to substances when you’ve never learned how to cope w your emotions#and physical pain. however a lot of it has been brought on by the substance abuse aka i did it to myself#so i probably deserve it#but i started with them in the first place to get rid of pain that was so overwhelming and constant#it feels like every time i do something to preserve myself im punished for it#and im so sick of it. i cant believe its gotten this bad#i drink to help the pain -> i get hungover and the pain is way worse -> i drink to stop that pain#and the worst part is it always works#realistically ive depended on substances for like a decade#i started drinking at 13 and fell into a rut of alcoholism at like 15/16#my mom was going thru a phase of alcoholism and roped me into it so bad if be woken up by her bringing me a drink at 9 am#and we’d drink till she passed out and i had to walk her to bed and cook for everyone and do all the chores#it went on for months one summer#then it was weed and i smoked every day from like 18-22#only thing thwt stopped me from drinking until i started again after both my parents died#i havent recovered since.#im still so traumatized and depressed that i looked for any method of relief#the dph phase was the worst. i think alc is even better than that lmfao it was horrible#once i got access to alc i stopped all that. wouldnt have if i hadnt had alc tho#it’s honestly been one addiction after the other for a decade#and my parents fueled so much of it#‘oh id rarher you drink under my eye than do it behind my back’#BRUH YOU WOULDNT LET ME GO ANYWHERE OR DO ANYTHING. HOW WOULD THWT HAVE HAPPENED#crazy how i was obsessed w drugs and shit by the time i was 10 and i remember thinking wow im gojna grow up to be an addict.#why am i so irreparably fucked up#idk whatever. like im not gonna drink abt it lmao.
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How was your date with the butch? Have you had your two exams? Hope you do well!!<33
hi hi omg i forgot how much i updated u guys but the first date was great and the second date was also great and we held hands and then i started panicking abt my exams and she had a dissertation deadline so i havent seen her in a while 😭 i miss her but she is TERRIBLE at texting but hopefully will see her soon !!
did 1 exam the other one is tmrw we are NOT sleeping tn once again !!! wish me luckkk + ty for asking i hope ur days have been filled w comfort and joy !!!
#asks#anon#on the first date we walked and talked a lottt she was rly interested in my culture and it was rly adorable and also rare#i taught her some persian words she taught me some chinese words we went to a museum and walked#in hyde park etc etc shes sooo . shes so cool#i asked her if she wanted to hold hands in the museum and she said 'i'm fine' and i was like . oh :/ maybe she doesnt want anything w me#but then she did a lot of other date-like stuff but all her physical contact was so light and gentle so i thought maybe its more sacred#to her but on our second date we walked and talked a lot and i had a very overpriced glass of almond old fashioned on a very tall rooftop#on the way back to the station i asked her#if shes generally uncomfortable w physical contact or if its reserved for closer ppl etc and she said shes not uncomfortable at all so#she asked me why i seemed surprised i told her bc she seemed a lot more reserved b4. bc of the thing in the museum#she didnt remember saying it and in fact she said she would never say that#not to me she was laughing in disbelief i think she entirely misheard my question and her 'i'm fine' was a declaration of her wellbeing#rather than a refusal . anyway after she was done laughing (she has a beautiful smile by the way) she held my hand all the way until#i got onto my train
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P sure I have a slight frost burn on my hands from having to let the dog out ASAP without gloves 💀💀💀 evil evil evil temperature 💀💀💀
#and evil horrible little dog who insisted on walking all over the driveway until she physically could not anymore 😩😩😩#even tho i forewent gloves bc she was acting like she was gonna have an accident 😑😑😑#disgruntled octopus
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As someone with ADHD, you know you're fucking exhausted when you're not even fidgeting. :'D
#I'm literally just sitting here. listening to shit. I usually need to fidget or do something while doing that but no. I'm just staring off#into space. At the creature that I'm dogsitting.#he's exhausting too but it's mostly from the fact that I did a lot of physical labor in horrible boots and now my lower body is dead#I mean this creature eats anything and everything off the ground. One walk and I had to pull 4 acorns. 7 leaves. 5 rocks from this#idiot's mouth. he's not allowed off leash because he just bolts as well. He's sweet but I'm pretty sure there's just a walnut rattling#around in his head lol. I genuinely worry about this dog because...He genuinely has a deathwish#speaking of which. if anyone knows how to teach your own dog how to stand up for herself I would appreciate it :'D#I give my own dog. my sweet girl Mocha. a treat and this little guy starts hopping up and biting at her mouth until she drops HER treat#and then he runs away with it! And I'm like “sweetie. why are you letting him treat you like that?!?!”#yes I separate them when I give treats but still :'( My girl is too sweet for this cruel world.#She's so sweet and brings her OWN toys up to him so they can play together and he just runs away with them and growls at her.#They're HER doggy toys!!!#I know I'm complaining a lot. He's not that bad but also... My Mocha. (also he chases the cats. we have shit blocked so they can#have their own space and be safe and a space for him but oof)#Mad rambles#Mad vents#I'm mostly still recovering from those horrid boots as we realized once I took them off that they basically were at a weird slope.
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impossible level of empowerment in waiting tables while androgynous. my tables start arguing in hushed tones about what to call me the minute i walk away. older folks confidently assign me gendered language and their eyes widen as i give them a puzzled expression back. i didn't think nbs ever got to experience this kind of passing
#i am living my dream rn no lie#holding onto this job until i become physically unable to walk again#(or i am otherwise forced to quit against my will)
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