#until he realizes that maybe he does actually have the same feelings for Lucy

[miriellesandthegiantpeach]

Anatomy of a Breakup | Bucktommy

All it takes is one moment; one sentence that’s misinterpreted, exposing their insecurities, and it falls apart. An argument that neither of them remember how it started, but spiraled into something else entirely.

‘I really can’t do this right now, Evan, I gotta go.’ Came from Tommy where he meant he was tired of arguing and needed a breather and Buck interpreted it through the self conscious lens that Tommy was done done. One too many slip ups on Buck’s part.

‘Wait what? Fine fucking leave then! See if I give a shit,” Buck spat back in anger and confusion and insecurity. So Tommy left his loft and came back an hour later to find it empty. And maybe Tommy called a little too late at night and Buck was a little too tipsy to be able to talk through it or decide to wait for a better time, so they decided to just end it.

The thing is, they didn’t seem to get the memo that they were exes now; neither of them quite understanding it meant they needed to let each other go. They weren’t too good at the whole broken up thing.

**

It’s when the rest of the 118 crew petter out one by one from the bar, conveniently leaving Tommy and Buck to be the last two standing outside attempting to order separate Ubers.

Tommy is already outside when Buck closes out his tab, not even looking at how much he spent or drank for that matter. He walks out into the crisp night loose limbed and relaxed. He catches Tommy’s eyes and can’t help the smile that spreads across his lips; he believes for a moment that it’s written in the stars that Tommy is still there and not due to the Ubers taking a while. Walking over to Tommy, Buck realizes he doesn’t actually have a plan, but he knows he wants Tommy.

“Uh, hey,” Buck says a little less than eloquently. The soft smile Tommy shoots his way sends little sparks of hope down Buck’s spine. “Hey back,” Tommy says easily, refocusing on his phone.

Buck drops the need to be flirty, they’ve gone through that, they know each other better than anyone else. He goes for earnestness because that’s what works best on Tommy. Taking Tommy’s hand out of his jean’s pocket he says, “I don’t wanna go home alone tonight.” Tommy meets his eyes again and dips his chin, mouth forming a flat line.

”Evan.” That’s all Tommy says as he drops the hand holding his phone. For a minute there’s silence, searching each other’s eyes, looking for answers neither of them have. Tommy sighs and decides he’s too drunk for rational thinking especially when Buck’s hand is warm in his and tugging slightly. “You know what, me neither,” Tommy sighs and pulls Buck in the rest of the way and meets his mouth halfway. They melt against each other; they kiss easily because it’s so familiar.

Tommy breaks the kiss just long enough to check his phone, and says against Buck’s mouth, “Uber’s seven minutes away.”

Tommy can tell himself that this could be anyone’s cologne. But if he’s being honest with himself, this scent is forever associated with Buck. This lethal combination of bergamot, cardamom, and cedar that’s woodsy and sweet and has become Tommy’s own personal aphrodisiac. He takes a big indulgent inhale, aware that this could be the last time he’s this close to Buck.

He can convince himself that Buck’s stubble feels just like anyone else’s, and almost does, up until the moment Buck rasps out ‘Tommy’. No one says his name like him, whines his name the same, moans his name in such a particular way to send Tommy directly into a tailspin.

**

The hospital lights are blinding as Tommy cracks open his eyes. When he adjusts, his tired gaze falls onto Lucy.

“Donato,” he croaks, “Call Evan.”

Lucy gives him a reluctant look, “You sure? I thought you guys had a pretty nasty breakup?”

“He’s gonna find out anyway and there’s no stopping him from coming here, might as well speed up that process.” Tommy can barely move, his left arm feels numb and his ribs feel all kinds of bruised.

As soon Lucy steps into the hallway, Buck’s number on her screen, she sees said man storming down the hall looking frantic. “Calm yourself, Buckley,” she says, holding up a hand to stop him. “He’s okay, he just woke up and asked me to call you.”

”Thanks,” he says, rushes into Tommy’s room and pulls up a chair next to his bed.

“Tommy? What the hell happened, we heard over the radio-“

“Evan-“

“As soon as I heard there was a chopper from Harbor down I drove straight here-“

”Evan, please-“

”What happened? No one knew anything and I-“

“Baby!” That shuts Buck up so Tommy can finally talk. “I’m sorry. But I needed to get your attention.” He knows that word is off limits, but Buck just wouldn’t stop talking.

For the next five minutes Tommy explains everything, Buck’s hand gripping his tightly. Buck’s eyes are red rimmed making them a lighter shade of blue and Tommy can’t look at him. When he’s done, Tommy’s head falls back to the pillow and he rolls his head to make eye contact with Buck, “thanks for coming.”

“I’m so relieved you’re okay, I don’t know what I’d do if-”.

”Shhh- I’m okay.” Tommy soothes him, rubbing a thumb back and forth on his hand. Buck swallows hard and just nods, canting his body towards Tommy like he’s going to kiss him. They both feel it- the pull like gravity. They resist, both knowing they can’t break the dam, not now anyway.

**

“Tommy?” Buck chokes out as soon as Tommy answers the phone. “I didn’t know who else to- my parents-”.

“On my way,” Tommy interrupts him and speeds over to Buck’s.

The door is unlocked and Tommy finds Buck pacing in the kitchen. Without a word Tommy wraps Buck tightly in his arms. Buck takes a minute to let himself cry into Tommy’s shoulder, seeking the familiar comfort. Tommy doesn’t ask, knowing Buck will tell him. All he has to do is stroke the back of his head and pull him back by the shoulders.

There’s a telltale tremble in Buck’s hands so Tommy takes them, holding tight. “I’m sorry, I didn’t have anyone else who’d understand. Maddie and Chim were there and Jee is sick and my parents said you were just an experiment.” Buck’s tears are flowing freely down his cheeks. Breath trembling, Buck continues, “I just lost it, calling you a fling and that they were relieved I ‘got you out of my system’”. Buck spits out his parents' words in pure anger and hurt.

There’s a vice around Tommy’s heart, strangling it, because if they were being completely honest with themselves, there’s a very slim chance of them getting each other out of their systems. Their internal wiring has permanently changed.

Tommy pulls Buck’s head back into the junction of his neck and shoulder, big hands rubbing up and down his back. He clasps his hands together across Buck’s lower back and rocks them side to side. “You’re okay, Evan. We know what they’re like. Don’t let them change what you know, okay?”

Buck sniffles against his collarbone and nods, hands hanging onto Tommy’s shoulder blades. “You can always come to me, even though-”, Tommy stops himself from finishing that sentence. Even though what? Even though we're not together. Even though we’re too hurt to talk about what we need to. Even though we’re still obviously, painfully in love but too scared to admit it.

“Stay,” Buck whispers against Tommy's ear. And Tommy is powerless. Anything, Tommy thinks. I'll do anything, just say the word. If Buck asked him to, Tommy would take Buck straight to the courthouse and say ‘I do’ with whatever they can find to wrap around their ring fingers. Even now.

“Okay,” is all Tommy says out loud. He takes Buck's hand and silently pulls him upstairs and into sheets they've been tangled up together so many times before.

**

“Buck, I can’t take it anymore, you’re miserable and it’s making me miserable. For the love of God talk to Tommy and fix this,” Eddie tells Buck, frustrated that his best friend is being so hard headed.

Buck groans and puts his head in his hands. “It’s not that simple, Eds! He literally said ‘I really can’t do this right now.’ Like how else am I supposed to interpret that any other way then he’s done with me? I was fun for him while I lasted I guess, but the novelty wore off, just like with all my ex-girlfriends.”

“Well, did you give him an actual chance to explain? Maybe it wasn’t that. I know that man is absolutely head over heels for you, so I don’t believe for a second that he’s done with you.” Eddie sighs and puts a heavy hand on Buck’s shoulder. Buck turns to look at Eddie with his signature Buck sad eyes and pout.

“I’m just scared of being this huge disappointment to him, like I just feel like I’m going to slip up in a big way because of my inexperience. He gave me an out so I panicked and took it.”

Eddie tilts his head and gives Buck an exasperated look, “Maybe I’m betraying Tommy’s trust but I’m tired of you moping and you were my best friend first. Tommy is stupid over you, he was literally talking about moving in and settling down with you. Does that sound like you’re a huge disappointment?”

“He-he what?” Buck is blinking back tears. He didn’t let himself hope for all that no matter how desperately he wanted it. He wanted everything with Tommy.

“Go. Please. He’s off tonight.” Eddie barely finishes his sentence before Buck is out the door and in the Jeep.

Tommy hears the familiar engine cut off and looks up through the front window with anxious hope. Ten seconds later there’s a hasty knock on the door. Buck is on the other side, eyes are red rimmed from either crying or trying not to. Tommy tugs the other man wordlessly in by the wrist and closes the door.

With a deep breath, Tommy asks, “Evan?”

“You want to settle down with me?”

Goddamn it, Eddie, Tommy thinks, that was supposed to be confidential. All he can do is clear his throat and meet Buck’s too sincere eyes. “Yeah, whatever that looks like. You’re it for me, Evan. I don’t want anyone else.” Buck’s breath hitches at the present tense Tommy uses- he still wants him, wants a life with him.

Lunging forward, Tommy catches Buck in his arms with a surprised huff. Tommy feels the hot tears now against his neck. “I’m so sorry, Tommy. Fuck. I- I fucked it all up.” He pauses to sniffle and breathe ragged breaths. “I want that too, God I want that so bad, more than anything. I was so afraid of letting myself believe that what we had, what we have, could be that. I’ve never had something like this, never felt like this before. I guess I thought I’d be easier to break my own heart before you did.”

“Baby-” Tommy’s voice breaks and he’s holding on tight to Evan, as hard as he can without hurting him. His tears are now falling freely too. “I’m sorry too, I should’ve talked and not walked out. I was scared too- insecure that you had your fill and were going to be done with me soon.”

Pulling back, Buck makes eye contact with Tommy and cradles his face, wiping away stray tears. “Never, honey.” Buck kisses the tear tracks left behind on each cheek. “I’ll never have enough of you, never get over you, never not want you.”

They lean their foreheads together and just breathe. Both beyond relieved but angry now with themselves that they could think letting the other go was even a possibility.

“I love you,” Tommy says.

“I love you more,” Buck says back.

“Respectfully I don’t think that’s possible,” Tommy counters and makes Buck laugh. They finally find each other’s lips in a kiss that says everything that’s been built up, letting the dam break.

“I don’t wanna be broken up anymore,” Buck says, meeting Tommy’s eyes.

“Same here. Let’s not ever do that again,” Tommy smiles and it reaches his eyes. “I’ll do you one better- move in with me. I can’t go much longer without you here everyday.”

“We’ll start tomorrow,” Buck agrees and pushes the words into Tommy’s mouth.

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ where were you, before we met? ]❜

ft. mr tumnus x f! reader — the chronicles of narnia

╰₊✧ tumnus encounters an unconscious stranger in the snow, a flower nymph┊1.7k words

setting: the age of winter (the lion, the witch, & the wardrobe) contains: love at first sight for tumnus, talks of species extinction, flowers are the reader’s choice, probably inaccurate lore, mentions/implications of death (?), rushed ending

➤ author's note: why are there so few tumnus fics when he’s so cute?

the faun wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, finding a young woman lying asleep in the freezing with nothing but a thin, tattered coat and surrounding snow to protect you. white flakes stuck to your hair and eyelashes, completely unmoving and making him fear that he came across a corpse while exploring the woods too deeply. he had to examine you more closely to check if you were still alive and jumped back when he found that you were indeed still breathing, feverish to the touch even instead of being as cold as stone. he certainly couldn’t just leave you here to die when you were clearly not built to endure the cold like he was, so he was quick to drop everything he was doing to carry you in his arms and bring you back to his humble abode.

he almost assumed that you were another daughter of eve at first glance, but now that he was looking more closely, he could see that you weren’t. besides, the chances of meeting another human just like the day before were even lower than impossible than meeting miss lucy pevensie before. you had pointed, leaf-like ears and barely noticeable green vine patterns swirling all over your skin. there was something enchanting about you that he couldn’t quite explain, an ancient and whimsical charm that sparkled in you with the beauty of a siren. despite not knowing your name, voice, or even eye color, he felt a strange connection to you as if he once met you in a dream. he didn’t understand why he felt this way, why his heart was beating do quickly for a stranger he was saving, but perhaps it was fated for the two of you to cross paths.

he was concerned about the fact that you didn’t come to at all while he was transporting you, not even so much as a twitch of the nose. he half-expected you to start squirming or maybe even attack him out of panic, but you were as still as sleeping beauty until he set you down in his armchair and started the fire before tossing a woolen blanket over you. he watched you anxiously while making something hot to drink, not sure how you would react to waking up in a strange place with a strange narnian.

the heat of the flames melted away the rigidness of your body and the remnants of snow that clung to you, returning the sensitivity of your nerves and allowing you to feel the softness of the fabrics you were enveloped in. you stirred in place before finally opening your eyes, looking confused on how you woke up in someone’s home when you collapsed in the forest. movement in the far corner caught your attention, slowly turning your head to find a handsome, shy-looking faun bringing you a cup of tea with a few cookies on the same tray.

“oh, you’re awake! here, have some tea, you’ll need your strength,” he hastily placed everything on the table next to you and went to tend to the fire, almost as if he was scared to speak to you face-to-face. “i’m sorry for dragging you all this way, you seemed awfully cold in this weather— well, it’s been this weather since forever and you actually seemed awfully lifeless— my name is tumnus, by the way,” he promptly smacked his face, realizing that he had started rambling and said something inappropriate for the situation by saying you looked ‘lifeless’. why does he always lose composure so easily?

you opened your mouth to thank him for saving you, but you were unable to speak, your voice being hoarse and your throat drier than a dessert. embarrassed, you simply picked up the cup and drank the entire thing without sparing a single drop, the piping hot liquid providing a soothing remedy for all of your ailments and the floral aroma healing you. all the tension in your body was released and any previous anxieties you might have had about the faun vanished, quickly replaced with gratitude to him for saving your life. besides, such an adorably kind fellow who lives in such a quaint space and gives such wonderful handmade treats couldn’t possibly have bad intentions or have done anything punishable by the law like treason!

with renewed vitality, the dull green marking your skin began to glow a viridescent emerald and flowers began to bloom, entangling with your locks as well as sprouting in small groups all over the ground of the hallowed cave. tumnus could only look in amazement, both at how beautiful you were and at the sudden appearance of plants in his home. he carefully touched the delicate petals of the new growth and felt a strong sense of nostalgia, remembering a memory that he thought was long lost of his father wrestling in the grass with him in a grassy field littered with the same blossoms that were currently flourishing. it brought so much color to the place and it felt so nice to have more living things in his place, but he paused and looked up at you in wonder, “i thought… i thought all of the flower nymphs died out a year after the age of winter started.”

“i don’t know how either, i simply woke up from a deep sleep and started running until i passed out from exhaustion when i realized that there wasn’t anyone around for miles,” you explained, moving the blanket off of you now that you were at a much more comfortable temperature. “it was like i was hibernating until i woke up in an empty cave, but the last thing i remember was…” your eyes suddenly flashed with fear, “that woman… jadis… is she the reason it’s still snowing when it should be spring right now? i… sort of recall…”

“well. she’s actually known as the ‘white witch’ now,” he scoffed, unsure of when he grew the balls to talk poorly of her when just the thought of her terrified him, “and depending on who you ask, she’s the queen of narnia… for the past hundred years…”

“a hundred years… i’ve been asleep for a hundred years?” you gasped and stood up so quickly that you felt lightheaded, nearly falling over in the process and making the faun run over to catch you before settling you back into the chair. “i need to go! i need to look for my family and friends!”

“but you don’t even know if they are still alive! as far as everyone else knows— as far as i knew until a few minutes ago, flower nymphs have been extinct! the tree nymphs have picked their sides in the war while water nymphs have been frozen under the ice! besides, i shudder to think of what she’ll do if she finds you when rumors have it that she kills anyone or anything that reminds her of other seasons when they’ve been banned.”

the mere concept of an entire season being banned used to be laughable as all four seasons were harmonized and perfectly balanced, but now it was a very real nightmare in naria now that there is a new ruler… or at least she’s new to you. you began to tear up at the thought that everyone you once knew could be dead unless a miracle had occurred like it did with you, a miracle that you couldn’t even explain since you knew nothing about it. all of the creatures that live under the water could survive the winter season as they always have, but that was only for a handful of months… could any of them withstand an entire century or were their corpses simply frozen in time under the sheets of ice?

he placed his hand over yours, calming your racing thoughts and recapturing your attention. something about him was so warm and comforting, immediately putting you at ease when you looked into his eyes that told you that everything would be fine. you took a deep breath and just savored the feeling of being safe, unsure why someone you’ve known for not even a fraction of the day made you feel secure, but it was completely welcome in this time of stress and turmoil.

“look, things are going to change soon,” he hasn’t told this to anyone yet, and he really shouldn’t be spilling at all, but he trusted you and was within the walls of his own home. “yesterday, i befriended a daughter of eve— a human named lucy pevensie,” he continued whispering as your eyes widened at the information. “she and her family may be the ones from the prophecy, the ones who will end the reign of the white witch and bring spring back to narina— but you mustn’t tell a soul.”

he made you pinky swear on it before you giggled, “i don’t have a soul to tell it to! i don’t even have a place to stay for the night!”

“you can stay with me! i-it’s not much, but it would be great to have company!” he blushed when he realized what he was offering you, but he doesn’t think he would have proposed this to anyone else. he barely knows a thing about you, but it didn’t really matter to him since it felt so natural. “o-only if you want to… of course…”

“that would be lovely,” you beamed a smile before it exploded into full-blown laughter that was so contagious that he laughed along with you. “prehaps i can even meet this ‘lucy pevensie’ soon!”

“oh, i know she would absolutely adore you!”

his cold, dark residence illuminated by nothing but the fireplace and candles suddenly seemed so bright, and you made him feel so much warmer than he has ever felt in a hundred years— he didn’t think it was possible yesterday, yet he had been proven wrong. he didn’t know if he was even allowed to feel such happiness when he once considered handing a young girl over to the secret police, but it wasn’t something that he was thinking about right now. all he was thinking about was how wonderful the past two days have been.

if only this warmth could have lasted forever… he could only hope that the young humans will keep you safe while he’s rotting in prison and that the two of you will be reunited soon…

[jazeswhbhaven]

Everyone in Paradise Lost always saw Jjok as their little guy and treated him like a baby but when he turns into his human form Rin, how would they react?

Jjok being treated like a smol bab plays so much into the philia and the crying. "I'm baby" is Rin's motto foreals.

I think the reactions to Rin would go as follows:

Gamigin: Would be super excited and loud about seeing Rin for the first time. "I didn't know you could do that wow!" Also he thinks Rin is very pretty, so he gives compliments often and it makes Rin get embarrassed and sniffling trying not to cry. But since he can only hold that form for so long, Gamigin kindly reminds him to take a breath and not hold it until he's blue in the face.

Lucifer: When he first saw Rin, he didn't realize it was Jjok so he nearly attacked him and it scared Rin so bad he needed a new pair of pants from wetting himself. But after, Lucifer treats him just as he always does...except well...maybe now what's different is he has to be careful not to baby Rin too much or...yeah lol

Morax: He's fascinated that this form can be held by Jjok holding his breath and wants to help with teaching him how to prolong that form with breathing exercises. He also prefers Rin around more thatn Gamigin because he's more quiet.

Marbas: Told Rin not to come around him when he's in that mood because he happens to be his type. Otherwise, he also is intrigued by Rin and often has them transform just because. That and well he literally prefers Rin around just like Morax for the same reasons. (poor Gamigin)

Buer: He actually prefers Rin's red lump form because he's small, furry and cute. Rin is a great breath of fresh air though to have around even though there's not really much he can help with other than sitting around and looking pretty. Buer appreciates the "quiet" and calm nature of Rin. (again poor Gamigin lol)

All other devils that aren't nobles: They keep forgetting that Rin is Jjok's other form, so they'll often hit on him thinking he's a new devil in Paradise Lost. Rin gets a small ego boost to tell Gamigin how much attention he's getting but he knows it's just short lived because he's in that form so he gets all shy and sad again once he's back to being a red lump. It's a good thing he has Luci and Gamigin as his found family though because they always cheer him up when he's feeling like no one likes him as a red lump that pisses himself all the time instead of a hot devil that pisses himself.

[right-there-ride-on]

For me the key to understanding SBR was to read it as a narrative instead of a jojo part. I feel like with the rest of jojo you can almost read each part as less as a narrative and more as a series of fights with a loosely connected story. When I first read Part 7, I was reading it through the same lens I do other parts; namely, the story occurs around the fights. What I mean is that I feel with most of the previous parts, the story was a vehicle for the fights, not the other way around.

It’s easy to say SBR is a fresh start / reboot but I think I just so strongly associated it with the rest of jjba that it took forever to me feel like I actually ‘got it’. With other jojo parts I feel most everything is surface-level (I don’t mean this in the bad way, just that, like the rest of the series, it’s very ‘in your face’). But Part 7 is unique to me in that it’s a narrative where I can keep digging and finding new things.

All this to say that it took me several re-reads to feel like I actually caught on to some of the subtext and other things going on. For example, while there’s blatant references to religion throughout SBR, I hadn’t realized how ingrained it was in the story proper until I went back and did the religious analysis of the text, which in turn better informed my understanding of the characters. So much flies over your head the first time you read it. For another example, it took a lot of time and revisiting the text for me to even begin understanding the True Man’s World, and I hadn’t even thought to seriously consider the cultural context of SBR’s setting until someone else pointed out how Ringo’s ideas would have tied in with Jeffersonian rhetoric about American Individualism. Maybe that was my problem: I wasn’t taking SBR on its own terms, and frankly I think I might have dismissed a lot of what Araki was trying to say with this piece by considering as Part 7 instead of Steel Ball Run.

Parts 1-6 are very enjoyable for what they are, but to be quite honest I don’t think they had a larger message besides fate and possibly abuse of power. They had themes, obviously - family and legacy as an overarching one; love comes to mind for Part 1, friendship for Part 2, the journey / friendship for Part 3, etc - but I don’t think Araki had something he was trying to say with them. He wrote Parts 1-6 because he had ideas he wanted to express, and most of those were action-oriented stand battles. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just an observation. The story functioned around the stand battles.

In contrast, with SBR I feel the fights are part of the story, and help inform the greater whole. Lucy’s whole character, as a non-combatant who does important things to keep the plot moving, reflects this change in approach. Sugar Mountain is dedicated to highlighting Gyro and Johnny’s evolving relationship. Compare Bohemian Rhapsody with Diego & Hot Pants vs Valentine. As a narrative SBR demands consideration of values and reflection on what we hold important. It encourages you to think deeply and pull it apart to see what it’s trying to say.

Again, this isn’t to dismiss any of the other Parts, and in no way is this an attack on them. Furthermore, SBR is longer and was afforded a monthly publishing timescale; perhaps there’s an argument for Araki simply having more time to do things. However, I also think the comment from Araki about feeling as though he’d hit his creative limit with Part 6 is reflective on his mindset at the time of writing Stone Ocean. Steel Ball Run was his chance to start fresh as a more experienced writer with a message he wanted to share.

This post is mostly just a reflection for how I want to approach other works in the future.

[lanalaynetalks]

I skipped the Daphne arc. I’m sorry I can’t do it. Like I don’t understand how people can look at that arc and the Zodiac arc and say that the Zodiac arc is the worst filler arc. But yay Edolas! This is an arc I have grown to like. When I first watched it I had the same feeling about it as Oracion Seis Arc. Now I like it even if it hurt my head a little bit. This is just exposing me as an idiot I think. I’m just a girl!

1. The filler episode before the Edolas arc are some of my favs! I like most of the filler episodes in the series. I do think these episodes are important because we are reminded of everyone’s personalities before Edolas where they are like the opposite.

2. I’m going to try my best to reframe from talking about Lisanna and how her character was useless after she came back. Let me be clear I am not Lisanna hater. I love her, I just believe she was so underutilized in the series and the most pointless revival of the whole series. This is will be a longer post but I love her and she deserves better.

3. “We are on a cusp of a new era” Makarov said this in the episode Guildarts came back. Now this is likely hinting that he is wanting Guildarts to become master, but I see it as something else. I personally see the 7 year time skip as a soft reset for the show. So I think it was for shadowing that. It could also be hinting at Earthland learning about Edolas.

4. My favorite part of this whole arc is Gajeel wanting a cat. I love it. It humanizes him so much!

5. I will say I don’t really like the first part of the Edolas arc and I think it starts really slow

6. Edolas Fairy Tail 🥰

7. It annoys me that they don’t just tell Edolas Fairy Tail that they are from Earthland

8. Lisanna and Nastu’s reuniting is underwhelming

9. Why is Edolas Wendy just older???

10. I don’t understand why Edolas Gajeel is a journalist but I love him sm. I need to see him and Edolas Levy together. Because we all know they are soulmates in every universe. Plus both Gajeels together is 10/10

11. I also think it’s goofy that Edolas Nastu is known for driving a car. It’s the same goofy as Cancer Vs Gray dance battle. No I’m not explaining further.

12. Lucy and Nastu are already together in every universe besides ours.

13. We don’t talk enough about how the huge ass lacrima in the middle of the city was just Erza and Gray… we need to talk about this more.

14. Also who was the Master of Edolas Fairy Tail? Was it Edolas Laxus???? You know what where is the Edolas Thunder Legion??? If Edolas Makarov is the king what about Edolas Ivan and Laxus??? Are they princes??? If Mystgon is his son shouldn’t he actually be Ivan’s counterpart? This confuses me the most about Edolas… where are the rest of the Dreyar family? I guess if Wendy is just older they may of been born to different people I guess. I’m just going to believe that Edolas Laxus was master and died. WHERE IS EDOLAS LAXUS!

15. Maybe I am being too crazy because why is Edolas Ichiya a cat…

16. It’s honestly pretty dark to think that the only reason Carla and Happy cared for Wendy and Nastu is because the Exceeds fucked with their minds.

17. I love Happy’s mom and dad so much. Them being rebellious makes so much sense. I just love them. Grumpy X Sunshine at its peak

18. I am going to fan girl over panther lily! I love him! He is my second favorite cat. Because Frocsch does exist! I love them so much. Like I cry every time something bad happens to them!

19. ROCK CITY BOY IS ON OF TH BEST OPENINGS! I think it’s in my top 5.

20. While the arc started slowly, the climax is so good. The rest is well paced.

21. So is the giant robot dragon supposed to be Edolas’s fairy heart? This is likely a dumb theory.

22. Rip Mystogan… he’s not dead just we don’t see him again until 100 year quest. Seriously though Mystogan has a special place in my heart for being my first anime crush…. Then I saw Laxus and I was like Mystogan who?

23. It took me so many years to realize this, but Lactor’s and Frosch’s parents live in earthland… like their parents were sucked out of Edolas. They are both the same age as Carla and Happy when they came back from the 7 year time skip…. I just realized this and I feel dumb. THEY WERE BORN DURING THE TIME SKIP! I don’t know why my brain never realized this!

24. And that’s the last time we see the exceeds…

25. GAJEEL AND LILY! The best of friends!

26. Why were Edolas Mira and Elfman so chill about Lisanna not being there Lisanna? Why did Mira and Elfman not question why Lisanna disappeared and there was no body after her death?

27. Not gonna lie Lisanna reuniting with Mira and Elfman makes me cry every time.

28. I do wish we got some filler episodes about Edolas, or some updates on how they are doing.

29. I think the funniest part about the series before the 7 year time skip is the fact that so many of the villains main thing is reviving Zeref, but turns out he was was chilling on Tenrou Island. Like the man was spending time with his situationship.

I wanted to put this at the end of this one, but I will start putting this at the end of the rest. I would like to let the people know who read this that I am actually doing my rewatch while working on my school work. I am working on mostly my capstone while watching. I am likely going to miss some stuff/forget to write it down. This is something I have wanted to do for a long time so I am doing in now during this rewatch. Sorry if I miss anything and feel free to share your opinions!

[originemesis]

@brokendreamscreation xxx

Aside from the blatant twitching and inability to move from his curled electric prison, Lucid deduces that the commanders of the exorcist army is in fact just fine. Whining and bitching about the situation, it is something the seraphim has since become accustomed to. If Adam did not, then he will have genuine reason to remain alarmed. The corners of his mouth remained turned down, lips parting to expel a breath. How should he go about this predicament? With them both currently in the Heaven Embassy, which is located in the center of the Pentagram, the closest place he could take Adam is none other than the place that belongs to his life long nemesis: Lucifer Morningstar’s palace. Lucid has since had a room offered to him to make his own, which he occasionally does stay the night there. Maybe if he took Adam there he won’t realize they’re in Luci’s house in his current state…But then he likely will have to shoo Lucifer off from barging in to assault the angel with mockery and laughter in his miserable state. And Lucid knows that entire situation will come down on his head with more than just wing beatings later. The short bodied angel slips his arms under the huge angel, scooping him up effortlessly as if he were nothing more than a sack of flour. The flea jumping sparks zap his own wings, making the angel flinch and promptly shake it off with a wing beat. “Right. Let’s get you somewhere to recover. The embassy has got to have a sleeping quarter around here somewhere, right? Like an employee sleeping place for long shifts?” Not exactly a hospital, but teleporting between Heaven and Hell could take a lot out on the average angel. So surely there’s some kind of nap setup down here, right? If not, well, there’s plenty of couches Lucid supposes. Only one way to find out. Bare feet lightly slap against the tile as he meanders the embassy with the First Man cradled in his arms.

Though his body seems out of order for the time being thanks to the incapacitating zap, his mouth works just fine, as Lucid would find out the more the larger angel carried on with clicking teeth and goose hisses filtered through them. "The actual nerve of this place- not coming equipped with portal neutralizers?? I mean yeah, I should be able to go around fucking holes in reality around this shithole just fine, but not some gooner with a literal taser! Like BRUH. Someone's getting a fat lawsuit, and his name starts with the same L he's gonna be taking up the ass-" Like an overly chatty budgie screeching its complaints whilst clinging carelessly to its cage bars, the first man, and unfortunately first ambassador to hell carries on to his not exactly captive audience, though the deal still remained between them...not that Adam could exactly summon up that contract now in his sizzling condition.

His loud and lingering complaints trail into a soft 'huphff' once his unwitting company peels him off the charred tiles and lifts the potato sack shape commonly afforded to human-blended archangels. His wings remain heavy and limp, grazing the floor grooves with frizzy tipped primaries until the seraphim clone could collect them underneath his current load. Wriggling and thrashing the other with his wings currently out of the question, he loses several restless squawks as the much smaller angel carries him a few steps through the embassy.

"Hey- hey, WHOA! Waiiiiihaittttt...you're so fucking going to drop me-mmpfh?!" His floundering remarks suddenly suffocate with the smushing of his face against the other's chest when he's suddenly tucked and hiked up into a more reassuring cradle. He goes quiet only until another adjustment frees his face again, but his panicked gaze from earlier is now a soured squint.

"How about don't waste my time looking, dude? This is a political playground, not exactly a hotel." The subtlest squirm indicates he's getting some feeling back, even if it's just the point between his neck and shoulder. "Might as well head to the break room. I could use a soda after being, y'know- electrocuted." Shouldn't be anyone still kicking around at this hour anyway... shouldn't be-

[teecupangel]

Ok, so I know there are allot of ideas for the bleeding affect becoming sentient and being the ancestors. But what if it wasn’t? What if when desmond bleeds an ancestor it’s really them from their time dreaming about desmond? So example. Desmond gets out of the animus and starts bleeding ezio, ezio has no idea what’s going on and can barely understand shaun/becs/Lucy. But when he snaps out of it when he sees his reflection or someone calls Desmond’s name. Ezio wakes up like wtf kind of dream is that? Later the name desmond will mean something and he might pay more attention to his dreams.

That’s going to be hard on Ezio though unless we make it that Desmond’s Bleed is special. That, thanks to Isu BS, he’s the only person who can actually connect with his ancestors like that. Otherwise, this brings us the frightening reminder that Desmond isn’t the only person to Bleed as Ezio.

This means Ezio would also know about Clay.

Just imagine the confusion that Ezio would have whenever he and Clay connected. Whenever he takes control.

Especially once Clay learned of Lucy’s betrayal and Juno starts hijacking his Animus sessions to push him into ‘understanding’ the part he must play in the calculations.

Confusion would turn to worry once Ezio starts taking over during those times, feeling Clay’s deteriorating state, maybe even noticing marks and wounds that looked self-inflicted.

Maybe, he was there when Clay finally takes his last breath, feeling it himself and angry at his own powerlessness to stop it.

Sees Lucy’s expression as Clay dies and knows… knows that something is terribly wrong with her.

So when he starts having dreams of another, of a young man named Desmond…

He knows that he cannot trust the blonde woman.

He doesn’t understand what they are saying but he could sense the hostility from the man as well as the kindness the black-haired woman tried to show.

But they were all wary.

Wary of him.

Because they know he wasn’t this man they call “Desmond”.

And it started out like Clay, just seconds before he would be awakened back in his body.

Then longer and longer.

Until Ezio could move for a minute or so without anyone realizing it.

Being quiet seemed to do the job, slouching and trying to make himself small.

This Desmond’s limbs were longer than his so it took a while for him to get used to his body.

He could stay in Desmond’s body for as long as 3 minutes when he heard of his name pass Minerva’s lips.

That’s how Ezio realized why he was dreaming of Desmond.

She called him a prophet.

He was Desmond’s prophet.

He was meant to help Desmond.

And how could he do it…

But the only way he knows how.

He does know if Desmond sees what is happening the same way Ezio sees what is happening whenever he takes over Desmond’s body.

But Minerva had looked behind him when she had directly addressed Desmond.

So perhaps Desmond could only see from behind Ezio.

Ezio wasn’t sure but…

He doesn’t mind doing this as many times as necessary.

He looks into the mirror and stares at the empty space just above his shoulder and he speaks…

“Desmond…”

“If you can hear me, I hope that you can understand me. What I am about to say may sound too ‘ridiculous’ and hard to believe so I will tell you things I have seen. You’re with three people. A woman with blonde hair wearing white. A man who always sounds rude. A black-haired woman with a kind smile. You’re in this strange place with so many different things but I always wake up in this uncomfortable red chair of some kind. I believe that’s what’s connecting you to me.”

I hope that would be enough for you to believe me when I tell you that I can see thru your eyes at times. And you’re not the only person I have dreamed of.”

“There is another man.” Ezio paused for a moment before he corrected himself, “There was another man.”

“And… the blonde woman you’re with let him die. She did nothing as he… as we die.”

“Don’t trust her, Desmond.”

“Whatever she tells you…”

“She’s not your ally.”

[vickyvicarious]

I feel it's also how a bit similar to how Bluebeard told his bride not to enter the forbidden chamber, and gave her the key to it. He knew she'd disobey. (Though what will happen next is a bit more like with Shahryar, from the Arabian Nights that Jonathan referenced. Dracula might have surprised himself with how possessive he got with this seemingly disposable bride.)

You're absolutely right, my friend. I've seen others making this comparison as well and I totally agree. Love the combination of them as well... Dracula did the whole "I'm going out, don't go into these places" Bluebeard thing, with the punishment of (un)death awaiting Jonathan if he disobeyed... but then in the moment he took it all back in order to hang on to his entertaining new bride (Scheherazade) longer. He's too interested to kill him now. Actually, he wants to keep this going just as it is, at least for one more night month.

I have been warming up to "Dracula doesn't realize how possessive he feels over Jonathan until he sees him about to be 'loved' by someone else" ever since I first said it. The more I think about it the more fitting it seems. Of course, he does seem to have pretty firmly decided to only keep this diversion going until he has to leave for England so there are limits to that possessiveness, but at least in the meantime no one else gets to touch his solicitor but him.

I do think that Jonathan was slated for being turned after Dracula left if he hadn't escaped. It's very unclear if Dracula planned to return any time soon or ever bring his fellow vampires to England with him (and to an extent, if Lucy can be taken as an example, he tends to lose interest after turning them - same with the ladies in the castle maybe, but they do at least live with him/he feeds them so less so), but I do think Jonathan definitely qualified as vampire material instead of just food. It's just that Dracula personally prefers the torment before the turning so he dragged that out to the last minute and left the turning to them. Toying with human!Jonathan was only possible in the castle, he couldn't really bring him along in a box as well, so he called it quits then.

I guess you could say Dracula saw it more as an enjoyable but finite 'summer torture fling' of sorts and lost interest after that point. After all, he doesn't go after Jonathan in London. But I do think there's room to read it the other way as well, and it was only the anger/wariness about Jonathan not only having escaped but actively being in a group hunting him down that made him lose interest in that particular game. If when he'd seen Jonathan in England it had been under other circumstances I do feel like he would have had fun picking up where he left off. I mean, his canon attack on Mina was definitely at least a little bit about tormenting Jonathan further too. If he'd spotted him that day in Piccadilly, when Jonathan was still trying to repress/deny what he'd experienced... someone else might have gotten a visit at their window.

[roadtripwithlucifer]

Hiiiii I left you a comment on the newest chapter of everything in halves and then decided that wasn’t enough so I’m coming over HERE to be annoying and tell you that ‘he can trust Oda,’ and “Now that we are working together, I suppose I should learn your name. How should I address you?” And “he could be dangerous,” ARE GOING TO LIVE IN MY HEAD FOR AGES. I’ve been WHEEZING like there’s something wrong with me. Lucy coming in with the finger-pointing. Atsushi why are you the way that you are, too gay to brain. Dazai the Disaster-man. AKUTAGAWA IS BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE HIM. R A N P O—

And I have to ask, do you have a favorite part of this chapter?

why are you soooooooo kindddddddd a;ldfjalk;sdjf URGH I DONT DESERVE IT BUT ALSO YESS YESSSSSS NO TAKEBACKSIES I WILL BE RANTING

First of all, I like this chapter a LOT. It marks a completion of the exposition - the scene is set, crumbs of foreshadowing have been dropped, and all that's left is to ramp up the drama. It was incredibly hard to write, but I'm pretty happy with the results!

Now, on to my favorites:

The cemetery scene with Dazai is number one, of course. I love what it reveals about Dazai specifically, and how much it throws him off that BEAST!Akutagawa is the way he is.

A part of it is purely superficial. Out of everyone Dazai's known in his life, Akutagawa is purely and unquestionably loyal to him and only him. In my opinion I think Dazai did that on purpose - I think he selected Akutagawa specifically to groom him. Make him his secret weapon, with little fealty to the Port Mafia. Maybe it was as part of his ploy to take down Mori, eventually Maybe it was something else. Either way, the other people in Dazai's life - Chuuya, Ango, Kunikida - care about him, sure.

But they would not follow his orders without question. They are not blind to who he is. Akutagawa is.

So when he meets an Akutagawa who not only despises him, but sees through his bullshit and refuses to play into his games, he truly does not know how to act.

Its like, you have a friend that is absolutely in love with you, and adore you even though you don't feel the same way. Then that friend suddenly moves on - doesn't treat you different, doesn't prioritize you, doesn't want you anymore - and suddenly that loss is magnanimous. Suddenly you'd do anything for them to look your way, even though you never wanted them until they no longer wanted you.

So the gut-punch after gut-punch Dazai must be experiencing right now has me kicking my feet and twirling my hair. This Akutagawa ignores him, chooses to protect Oda over indulging him, literally does not even know his name. And, just like someone being rejected, I think it actually endears Dazai to him, which is a mindfuck for the poor guy all on its own.

That also flows in a little into Atsushi's role in this chapter. While he shows up pretty briefly, his rejection of BEAST!Akutagawa when the others so readily accept him is a major plot point and ends up being an important part of our conflict and growth. He's also wrapped a little bit in the same bullshit Dazai is in.

He had been Akutagawa's singular point of interest for fuck knows how long. No matter who else is around (unless its Dazai of course,) Atsushi is the sole object of Akutagawa's attention. He's the only one that poses a challenge to him. The only one that can match him. The only one that can merge their abilities together. Akutagawa is Atsushi's burden to bear and, like a good detective, he """puts up with""" it.

Imagine his surprise when Akutagawa shows up and straight up ignores him. Avoids working with him. Doesn't even look at him. And its not like he ever ASKED to be the center of Akutagawa's attention, but now that he's not, it bothers him. It bothers him even more that no one seems to care that their Akutagawa is gone and has been replaced with some stranger.

I'm a little enamored with the I didnt realize how much I cared about you until you were gone trope. Except he's not gone, its still him, isn't it?

NOTABLE RUNNER UP SCENES:

The scene where Lucy tries to threaten him in the cafe. BEAST!Akutagawa is a fan of honesty and bravery, and Lucy's got both in spades. Is there an unlikely friendship brewing, perhaps??? I'd love to see Akutagawa in Anne's Room. Oh he would SO dig it.

Also the scene with Ranpo immediately coming to Akutagawa's defense. I hadn't planned for it initially, but after having written it, I'm a little obsessed. They're both blunt and observant, they both aren't well versed in social norms, they both have no idea how to ride a train. I also think that out of everyone, Ranpo is the least likely to let feelings about Original!Akutagawa bleed into how he treats BEAST!Akutagawa. Ranpo barely looks at faces anyway, all he knows is this is a different dude and he's very, very useful. I'm excited to see how their dynamic plays out.

WOW I"M SORRY. WHY IS THIS SO LONG. THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS MY BRAIN-WORMS ARE BRAIN-WORMING. I'm kissing you on the mouth pleaseee i WILL overexplain if you endulge me i'm so sorry

[daz4i]

wait okay. instead of going to sleep like a normal person. here's how I'd change the ages in bsd (for those that have a canon age), bc no one looks their age/it makes the timeline feel weird, i wanna let at least some major past events breathe a little between one another. possibly controversial takes ahead:

atsushi: i like that he's 18 actually. he looks and feels 16 but no yeah 18 works better. I'd say 20-21 would be nice but that'd reallyyyy throw his backstory's timing off unfortunately

dazai: 25

kunikida: around 27-28

ranpo: 28 also, maybe even 29 (his whole thing is that he looks young for his age anyway)

yosano: 28 as well

tanizaki: like. he does look 18. but also 16 and 21 at the same time. i like him as a bit older than atsushi so let's say 19-20, and naomi as well while we're at it

kenji: why is he 14. it's not that he doesn't look 14 it's that i simply did not expect a child to be the muscle in a detective agency. so please make him like at least 16 which is only just slightly better tbh

kyouka: yeah 14 is chill in her case imo. makes her more tragic 👍

katai: 27-29ish as well

fukuzawa: at least in his 50s. maybe 55ish, or even more. he def looks like it and it fits more with having a son in his 20s

akutagawa: i do want him to be older. but making his age gap with atsushi bigger is weird. so keeping him as a 20 y/o it is, maybe 21 at most

chuuya: 25

kouyou: 30s. early 40s even. she is already so milf coded. finding out she's 26 in canon was straight up offensive i swear. come on.

higuchi: 21

tachihara: 22 or 23 maybe? (the hunting dogs don't have canon ages but i like jouno and tecchou as 26ish so that way he's still like the baby of the group)

hirotsu: how is that man 50. make him 65 at least. jfc. the whole point is he's been with the mafia a long time. ik they keep recruiting teenagers for some reason but give me a break. my dad is pushing 70 and looks younger than him

q: actually my issue with them isn't that they don't look their age (tho they do look a bit younger ig) but that timeline wise?? they're so weird?? why did the mafia have a 6 y/o on deck that's just inconvenient for all parties involved. like i can excuse kyouka at 11ish but come ON. at least make them 10 in fifteen. or just bring them in later bc i just realized the timeline doesn't line up with the dazai and chuuya changes otherwise. man idk

odasaku: girl that man was NOT 23 when he died he should've been like at least 27 then

mori: late 40s or early 50s. keep the few years gap from fukuzawa maybe but he should still be older

ango: 29ish in the current timeline. or even 32. idk why but that number feels right.

francis: 45 at least. how is a 32 y/o man supposed to have a daughter old enough to study abroad...

poe: 29

melville: actually he is the only one aged correctly in this entire manga. bestie 🔥🔥🔥🔥

steinbeck: 24. maybe even older

lucy: 20-21ish. same issue as akutagawa really

louisa: 25 at least please 🙏

nathaniel: 34 maybe.

margaret: also early 30s. how the fuck is she 20. like kouyou this is straight up insulting 😭

mark: ageless for he is the spirit of youth and joy (yeah 22 is chill for him actually. he's like the taylor swift song. he'd love that)

mushitaro: tbh I'd make him more around 29 or even older than 30. like he would be a believable 35 y/o to me if needed.

nikolai: actually him being 26 is chill too. tho i wouldn't mind making him around 28-29ish too since i already aged up most 26 y/os so may as well go all the way.

shibusawa: yeah he can stay 29 too idm. i actually didn't know he had a canon age until now. cool!

i think that's everyone who has a canon age (excluding lns bc i haven't gotten to them yet)? aside from sigma maybe but his age is more of a plot device than a fun fact. and fukuchi is implied to be the same age as fukuzawa so, yeah just make them the same in this case too.

i did mess up the timeline myself with this. so lemme clear it up:

The War and the whole thing with mori and yosano still happened when she was 11, so 17 years before canon. that means mori was still in his 20s back then, no big change

untold origins still happened when ranpo was in his teens, honestly we can keep it 14, so 14 years ago, meaning fukuzawa was in his late 30 or early 40s. again not too big of a change I'd say

fifteen happens when. well. dazai and chuuya are 15. ten years ago. i don't want q there get them out of my sight (for now) let them be a kid for a bit!!!!! but yeah like in canon that means the previous boss's murder was a year before, 11 years ago. also while we're at it, stormbringer is also the same aka a year after 15

now this is where we shake things up just a bit. rather than occuring when dazai is 18, i think we can push the dark era to when he's 20 and still maintain the whole childlike thing he has going on there, it's not that big of a difference imo.

that means, 5 years before canon instead of 4, making akutagawa 15 back then, and ango 27 like odasaku.

also yeah q comes in at some point in the middle between those^ I'd say close to dark era than fifteen.

originally i wanted to make skk 26 but this started stretching things even more. bc now we gotta figure out how long dazai spent in hiding. and ig we can keep it 2 years and just make it so his entrance exam was 3 years before canon. again imo not that big of a stretch 🤔

idk why i said this changes the timeline a lot i think this is p simple. also lets ppl stew in their situation for just a bit longer which i like more.

thank you for reading. you are very brave and strong for pulling through. feel free to disagree with my takes but just be nice about it please. I'm also open to hearing other takes if you have any that i didn't consider 🫡 but again just be nice okay?? 🥹

[thesporkidentity]

this was originally a discussion on another platform, but i decided i wanted it (edited for coherency lol) actually on my blog so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯. it is quite long because i was apparently more excited than i'd realized to talk about what a good villain drac is

-

i have to disagree in terms of assigning anyone but dracula himself the "fault" for what happened on october 3. without a doubt, there are certainly things that could have been done better, but nothing that i think could be attributed to any one person are any one action as the one avoidable thing responsible for mina's suffering.

like, was it the wrong choice to cut mina out of their plans after the big infodump and make her feel like she couldn't share her worries with the menfolk for fear of being labelled a hysterical woman and cut out even more? yuuuuup, stop doing that. but we also know from lucy and renfield that dracula can force silence on people. she'd still have been unable to tell them what happened on october 1 even if she'd tried. (frankly, i'm surprised she even managed to write it in her diary at all.) so were they in the wrong to keep her in the dark? yeah absolutely, communication is one of The Themes of the book and it's not subtle about it lol. but i don't think her knowing their plans about the dirt boxes would have changed those events except to give them a different flavor of horror.

could they have let her come with them to the carfax estate on october 1st rather than staying home alone? she might have managed to avoid that first bite by not being in the house. but the Big One where she was forced to drink drac's blood and bound to him was on october 3, when everyone else was still in the house. she hadn't been left behind; jonathan was in bed with her. because while it's easier for dracula to prey on people when they're alone, safety in numbers is not guaranteed. maybe he'll just throw a wolf through your fucking window and drug the entire household, maybe he'll hypnotize everyone because knowing about his trance powers does not stop one from succumbing to them. subtlety may be a preference, but it's not a necessity.

but maybe they could have stopped him from getting in at all by transferring renfield somewhere else like he'd requested even if they didn't actually free him. except dracula only needs an invitation from any resident. he could have worked his way through all the patients/inmates until he got one. heck, he could have waited until the crew were all out and then just gotten someone who works there to let him under the pretense of looking into facilities for a family member, who knows! renfield was just the one he already had a connection with who had shown a previous inclination to help him, but dracula has shown himself perfectly capable of rules-lawyering his way into places.

and one can run through a whole list of what if's, but just as easily as i can think of a scenario i can come up with a way around it, just an endless series of moves and counter-moves. so while we as a fandom can (and do) talk in circles about how someone was wrong and should have made a better/different decision (and boy, there were some Choices being made, i'm not even trying to defend some of them), i don't actually think they could have averted, at this stage, the horror of the october 3 events simply by making the Good And Proper decisions (as designated by each personal opinion). i think we'd have ended up in the same destination, or somewhere equally as bad, it's just that the road there would have looked a little different. (and while i haven't looked at the events leading up to lucy's death as closely, i think it's likely one could draw the same conclusion where Questionable Decisions were made, and yet none of them were actually the final cause of the disaster.)

and that's part of what makes dracula as an adversary so scary. it's human nature to want to play the blame game because if this could have been easily prevented by one action or by one character, then his victories would be by mere chance, something you could avoid by just being smart enough. but dracula is a strategist, and all these backups and failsafes and counters make him feel unavoidable, inevitable. not one path to victory but all paths.

[firstdegreefangirl]

Gotta Leave Us Where We Left It

Tim drops a jar of pasta sauce – meat and cheese – in the shopping cart and reaches forward to put the garlic and herb variety back on the shelf, having made his decision. He’s looking at the shopping list in the front of the basket, Lucy’s neat handwriting outlining everything they’ll need for the dinner party she’s finally convinced him to host for all of their friends next weekend.

He’s lost to his own thoughts, trying to decide if Lucy will notice that he grabbed fresh thyme instead of the oregano that she asked for, in an effort to avoid stopping at a third grocery store on his way home. She probably will, but it won’t stop him from trying. Maybe he’ll be able to talk her into going with him for the next grocery run; it’s always more fun to do his shopping with a sidekick.

He recoils when his knuckles brush up against someone’s hand, narrowly manages to avoid dropping the jar and splattering pasta sauce all over his feet.

“Sorry, go ahead,” he mutters, at the same time as the other person speaks.

“Oh, my bad, I didn’t mean to – Tim?”

He looks up when she calls him by his name, and his heart skips a beat, then starts pounding in his chest.

“Isabel?”

They blink at each other for a long moment, both seemingly stunned into silence. He hasn’t seen her in close to three years, since the day they finalized the divorce paperwork and parted ways on the steps of the LA County courthouse. So much has changed since then; somedays it feels like he’s an entirely different person than he was when he knew her.

“You look … good,” she hedges, when neither of them say anything else.

“So do you,” Tim echoes automatically, before he actually looks at her. But then he does, looks her up and down, and he realizes that he means it. She’s radiant again, like she used to be before …

Before.

The light is back in her eyes, and her face is filled out again, not sallow and sunken in like it was during the worst days of her addiction. Her hands are steady, and her smile reaches her eyes. Her clothes fit nicely, and she fills them out well.

She looks like the woman he fell in love with, all those years ago.

He can still see her now, almost two decades younger, locking eyes with him for the first time across the classroom in academy. They'd both felt the spark, like the jolt from a Taser, and within the month, she’d created a space for herself in the living room of his tiny apartment. Every day they’d spent together felt like the best of his life, natural and easy and comfortable, with fireworks in all the right places.

And then it had all fallen apart. His wife had stopped coming home, first for a couple nights at a time, then at all, until he hadn’t seen her in close to a year. He’d slept alone, in their bed most nights, save for a few he spent on the couch when the hurt and worry were too much for him to bear.

He tries not to begrudge her those last years, knows that addiction isn’t the addict’s fault, that she was sick, she wasn’t trying to hurt him. Some days, that’s easier to do than others, but at the very least, he doesn’t want the ending of his marriage to spoil the good years they had together.

And there were good years, many more of them than the bad ones. Back then, even when things were hard, they worked through them together. He remembers nights sitting up together on the couch, hashing through which in-laws they were visiting for Thanksgiving, negotiating and bickering and compromising until they’d reached a solution, how even their fights had been almost as much fun as making up after.

He’s thinking about the good times, now, looking at her smile, how it still quirks up further on one side than the other. There’s a stack of albums at home, boxed away in the basement, not meant to be on display, but still welcome in his new life. He thumbs through them every so often, but nothing about their past could have prepared him for this onslaught of memories, bittersweet images of the good years layered with flashes of the insurmountable pain that drove them apart.

He looks at her now, standing across the aisle from him, and a decade and a half melts away.

Read the rest on ao3 here!

[sukirichi]

[ BROKEN RECORDS : 009. ]

→ heartbroken after breaking up with his ex, suna rintaro hits up an old flame to ease the pain. or at least using you to get someone off his mind was what he intended, until suna realizes that maybe, you were the real one he truly wanted to forget.

cw. family drama. angst. toxic characters. toxic relationships. cursing. slightly suggestive. unedited.

notes. reblogs / feedbacks / comments are appreciated <33 

series masterlist

[ playing track 009.  ] → all of the memories feel like magic, all of the fighting seemed so sweet. all that we were, my love, was tragic — and you’re the last thing that i need.

Waking up each morning to brush your teeth, get ready for the day, come to the office, and be forced to listen as the meetings droned on and on – you never noticed how dull your life had been all along. You'd been too immersed in your little escapades with Suna to ever realize these routines you stuck to were numbing. Dreadful, even, and you could barely take another sip of the complimentary coffee.

It was a vicious cycle. At this point, you didn’t try hiding your boredom anymore. You stared out at the windows, chin cradled in your hands as you mindlessly twirled a pen. Once the meeting finished and the room had been emptied, a hand tugged at your sleeves.

“You weren’t paying attention today,” your mother sighed. Inviting herself to sit before you, she crossed her legs, stealing your coffee to take a sip before she grimaced.

Ah, yes. One of the things you inherited from her – other than the useless wealth and the trust issues she was more than gracious to bestow upon you – would be her sweet tongue. Always so unhinged, the never-ending craving of rotting sweetness seeping to the bone. You wondered if she felt the same way for your Dad. The compulsory need to desire the one thing you were not supposed to have, but badly wanted it enough to consider risking it all anyway.

She pulled a sugar packet from the pocket of her coat, pouring the contents inside the cup. “Did something happen between you and Shinsuke for you to be this spaced out? You’re not usually like this.”

“Are you asking out of concern or do you just want to know if I’ll give you grandchildren?”

“That’s a harsh way of putting it, dear. You act like your own mother can’t be concerned over her child anymore.”

You scoffed at the gracefulness of her stirring the coffee. Your mother was always like this; composed and elegant, even in the face of trials in which normal humans would’ve surrendered already. “Concerned? If you really cared about me, then you would have told me the truth about Dad,” her grip around the cup tightened, further proving your point. “What exactly are you hiding from me, Lucy? Is it true that you seduced Dad even while knowing he was married? Don’t you dare lie because Nagisa told me everything. From how you’ve always had your eyes on Dad, or how you approached him right after his wife got sick. What were you thinking back then?”

A sickening smile plastered on her face, she slapped her free palm down on the table as she stood up. “Don’t you have an appointment with your dermatologist? Go and get that dumb tattoo of yours removed.”

Your nostrils flared. She’d gone two steps away from her seat when you forcibly grabbed her by the shoulder, turning her to you. “Don’t walk away when I’m talking to you, Lucy.”

“You address me as mother, Y/N. I didn’t raise you to be disrespectful.”

“And I never pictured you as a liar,” you spat back, “If what Nagisa said isn’t true, then why won’t you tell me what actually happened before? What about your relationship with Dad that you’re so ashamed about you can’t talk about it? Your silence makes you look guilty. What does that make me now, then? An illegitimate child?”

“Your father and I are married. Nothing is wrong in our family – so you keep it down unless you want our reputation to tank.”

“Seriously? You seduced a married man, you became part of the reason why Nagisa lost her parents and you’re worried about our repu—”

Your mother threw the cup on the ground. Coffee splattered all over the carpet until it got absorbed by the material, yet your mother didn’t blink at the mess. To her, it was no longer her problem, just like how the chaos she’d caused upon your family was overlooked for the sickening sake of reputations and keeping faces.

“Fine, I knew him before! I knew him long before he worked for me, but it was nothing but a silly crush. Did you think I kept tabs on a random guy I found cute up until I was already president of this company?” scoffing, she placed her hands on hips. She fanned herself by the hands before she fell on a nearby seat, mascara running down her face in time with the first fallen tear. “I never told you anything because as my daughter, I didn't want you to be disappointed in me. It's my responsibility to be a good role model to my child. Yes, I indeed knew your father in college, but I genuinely had no idea he was married. The reason why Nagisa…” Lucy swallowed the lump on her throat, her gaze falling to the marble table. “…the reason why your sister hates me so much is because her mom asked us to divorce. Months before she passed away, she said she’d only forgive her husband if we divorced but I refused.”

“What do you mean you refused?” your voice came out as barely a whisper. Your knees weakened as you watched your mother push her hair back, back straightened in an attempt to regain her composure. Like you, she refused to show weakness. “You mean…the reason why you and dad are still bound together by law…it’s because you never wanted to leave him?”

“I love your father, Y/N. What I did back then was selfish for ignoring her last wishes. I was young and stupid, alright? She was going to die anyway so why can’t I stay with him as I pleased?”

You pounded a fist beside her, your face inches away from the face you now felt sickened to the stomach to gaze upon. “Dad cheated on his wife. He made us look like fools. He tore two families apart and yet you’re still letting him waltz back into your life as he pleases? All because you’re in love?”

“You’re too young to understand.”

“No, you’re not making any sense—”

“It was a promise I made, Y/N. I vowed to your father on the day we got married that I’d be with him no matter what; in sickness and in health, for poorer or for richer, and whether it was for the best or not. You’re still too much of a child to understand that certain sacrifices have to be made to keep the promises you made,” Lucy reiterated, flattening her blouse down before raising her chin north. As if she was proud. “That's what unconditional love is. You can call me stupid, you can stop respecting me as your parent, but my heart has never lied to itself as yours do. I may not be able to forgive your father for what he's done, but he is my husband to whom I made a vow. Sometimes you have no choice but to need to learn how to forgive.”

“Certain sacrifices?” you repeated incredulously, picturing a maddened frown you knew so well. “So you sacrificed Nagisa?”

“I took care of your sister because her mother could no longer. She was under my wing and my care. Nagisa would’ve lived a comfortable life if she just stayed with us. I was more than willing to be her stepmother so we could be a complete family – isn’t that what we all wanted?”

“You don’t get to decide what others want or not!”

“You and Nagisa both are my children now. It’s up to me to provide you with everything you need. One day, I’ll convince your sister to join us for dinner as a proper family should—”

“Lucy, you’re just fucking crazy,” you interjected, taking a step back as disbelief flooded your system. This whole time, you believed her. You believed your mother couldn't be wrong about letting you both suffer, but what did you do wrong? You were an innocent child. It wasn't your choice to be born. Nagisa was just as ridiculous as your mother was. Your entire family was built on nothing but lies and betrayal, and you'd had enough of playing along with their charades.

“It is love, Y/N! You’re doing the same to that boy you can never get rid of! Don’t you realize, child? No matter how much Rintaro hurt you, you keep coming back to him like a fool!”

You were at a loss for words. Standing there numbly, you unclenched your fists and took a deep breath. “If that’s how love is going to be, then I’d rather not feel anything at all,” leaning down to her level, you frowned before her face. “Tell me, did you and Dad ever separate, or is he still welcome to come back home to you when he feels like it?”

Lucy refused to meet your eye.

“He’s my husband, Y/N. One day, you’ll understand that this life is not as kind as you’d like it to be. You don’t always need to be logical when it comes to marriages. Sometimes, it’s strategic – it’s a form of business – which is why I’m telling you now that you need to grow up. I’m doing all this for you. I’m whipping you into shape because you need to see it’s not always going to go your way,” exhaling right as she held your gaze, Lucy pursed her lips. “The Kita’s and I have already agreed that you two are to marry this instant to strengthen our ties—”

“No.”

“Excuse me, young lady? Do you think you have a say in this?”

“Don’t drag Kita into this. He’s too innocent to be involved in your schemes or shitty strategic methods. He’s a person, not an asset you can buy off. Kita doesn’t deserve to promise the rest of his life with someone who won’t even love him back.”

Lucy studied your face, darting between your eyes from one another before she cupped her lips, muffling the soft gasp she let out. “The heir is in love with you.”

“But I am not,” you cleared out, “And that’s why as the future president of this company, I proclaim that we will be cutting off ties with the Kita’s from now on. The loss in our stocks if we find new partners will be lesser than if they pull out themselves after knowing you planned on using Shinsuke all along. The business trip, the blind dates – we’re not people whose emotions you can toy with. I refuse to be stuck in an atrocious marriage like yours.”

With that, you walked away from your mother. Your back met her fierce gaze burning holes at the back of your head. “Shinsuke’s accepted his fate long ago, Y/N!” she announced, “He knows this marriage will happen! You can’t escape your fate!”

Placing your palms over your ears never shook away the sound of her voice.

The hairs on your body rose as you made it into the main lobby, nodding to the workers passing by and making sure to plaster on your most polite smile. Granted, you wanted the lies of your family to come to light, but not through this. Not through rumors. It had to be announced if it meant setting everyone free and – “Y/N,” a deep voice greeted, making you stop in your tracks. Lifting your head, your eyes widened at the sight of kind, brown eyes the same shade of coffee he held. “It’s nice to see you again.”

Scanning your surroundings, you immediately stood up straight at the sight of your employees gushing at the both of you. “Oh, Kita-san, you’re back! What’re you doing here? Do you have another meeting with my mother?”

“No, I came here for you,” the sides of his lips turned downwards, brows pinched together in confusion. He must be comprehending how your smile ached the muscles in your face. Kita then pulled you aside right to the door of an empty room, scratching the back of his head before raising the paper coffee trays. “I wasn't sure if texting you would be appropriate now that you're in a relationship, so I came dropped by to give you coffee. Just in case you needed it. You hadn't been updating me on what happened like you promised you would.”

“Sorry about that,” wincing, you flattened your palms together. It was true that you’d promised him to update him beforehand, but you completely forgot about it ever since that day. Kita remained concerned, however, and you sighed. You couldn’t tell him everything without one of your mother’s lackeys possibly eavesdropping.

“Are you free tonight, Kita? I still have those two tickets at this art museum I think you might like.”

Kita caught on quickly to the hesitance transparent in your features. He nodded and took you to his car the next moment, the both of you ending up in an art museum specializing mostly in Romantic classical paintings with a little bit of baroque.

Much to your surprise, Kita led you away from the artists he once said he loved most.

Left with no choice but to keep up with his fast strides, you cursed your stilettos and ran after him. It seemed like Kita realized your state for he was offering his arm not long after. He let you loop your arm around him as he stood in front of a painting mostly filled with reds and blurred-out golden orbs.

In the center stood a man and a woman wearing black berets, matching army green jackets, and the animated lights of the city night right behind them. They were looking at each other, or rather past the other, but met halfway somehow. Half of the girl’s face was painted a pale white with bright red lipstick, a silk kimono adorning the other side of the body. On the bottom of their feet lied cherry blossoms. Soft petals crowded around the man’s feet while plastic, neon ones scattered on the woman’s and Kita’s smile turned nostalgic

“Do you know the story behind this painting?” he pointed to the scribbled letters below that read, “Someone That Loves You.”

“I don’t,” you answered in all honesty, biting the insides of your cheek when you nearly blurted out you were never really interested in art. So no, you had no idea what any of this could mean.

Kita smiled at you before pulling you closer, his hands now brushing against your knuckles resting on his arm. “One night, there were two souls who met in a colorful city. The man was foreign to the country, barely speaking their language and struggling to find his way. Yet, he found the city beautiful. In every corner he looked, lights would be shining bright, people would be laughing with one another and he was awed by how the crowd swallowed him. A thousand lives would’ve passed him by and he would never notice,” he gestured to the display of romantic colors surrounding the man, a burst of reds, oranges and blues softened into blurs. “He called it dreamland; something similar to being stuck in a blissful state he’d never want to wake up from.”

“Then the woman woke him up.”

“Not quite,” Kita laughed, pointing to the half-hidden side of the woman’s face painted powder white.  “You see, the man had no exact destination. He just wanted to explore and cherish the world for what it was. Like everyone else, he had that sort of phase in his life where his curiosity took him places, but he didn't necessarily have an intention to stay. There's a huge difference between wanting to leave parts of you to the world to outright leaving a mark on somebody.”

Kita paused to cast a glance your way, perhaps gauging your reaction if you were still listening. Returning his smile, you sent a sheepish grin. “I'm not quite sure I understand but go on,” you rested your cheek on his shoulder, relishing in the warmth his body offered. “Your voice is soothing, by the way. I hope you don’t mind I’ll close my eyes for a bit.”

“You want to close your eyes in front of art?”

“I’ll have plenty of time to look at it in a different light once you tell me the story.”

Had you opened your eyes then, you would've likened Kita's smile to another form of art.

Yet, he remained quiet, toning his voice a pitch lower as if you were the only one meant to hear the story, his words alone doing a better job at painting the world he wanted you to see.

“He met the woman by chance. Their eyes met, smiles were shared along with the pleasantries, and like magic, an undeniable connection could be felt. It was instantaneous; like a shooting star unseen from miles away. Before you know it, it’s right there burning bright in front of you.”

“Love at first sight.”

“Something like that,” he shrugged, “So they went out for the night. They hopped from one karaoke to the other, the spaces between them diminishing bit by bit. Two souls who’d never met before suddenly were intertwined by this invisible string of fate. Lovers, friends, soul mates… it was hard to tell what they were, but one thing was for sure. They had something special only to them, something that would take a million years or perhaps a few more lifetimes before you could experience that sort of mutual understanding again. No words needed to be spoken. They didn’t need any sort of lexicon to understand each other; their hearts did all the talking. Their touches as gestures from the desire burning within, and lips used for another form of communication,” even with your eyes close, there was no doubt his lips inched closer and closer to the top of your head, a breath away from landing a kiss if he wanted to. You stayed under him, waiting with bated breath if he would, but it never came. Instead, Kita pulled away, his voice sounding like he was miles away from you right now.

You heard him release an exasperated sigh.

“In just one night, they transcended into forever. They surpassed the human error of doubt, fears, and anything else that took away the purity of love,” his fingers wrapped around your wrist, touch so soft and featherlike you doubted he was ever there to begin with. Kita's breath hovered until it fanned against your cheeks. His voice, his touch, his words were as noiseless as it could be. “They touched each other’s skin and felt their pulses come to life. Human instinct gave in, but something otherworldly transpired between two twin flames at that moment.”

“Unconditional love,” you suggested in a mumble. Cracking your eyes open, you were not taken aback to be greeted by Kita’s doe eyes. “No forms of thoughts on who they were, where they came from, what kinds of flaws they might have. Just love in its rawest form.”

“Yes… love at its rawest form,” Kita sighed, “They fell in love until the man woke up after a passionate night. It hadn't even been hours before they were intertwined as one, but the woman was already gone. He searched all over for her. Running after people who shared the same colors she wore on her head, his legs taking him to places he'd never been before yet he didn't fear being lost. To him, nothing could be worse than losing her.”

“What happened then? Did he find her?”

“You cannot find the person you love when the real version of them wouldn’t be that same person,” taking your hand into his, Kita let your pointer finger hover over the other side of the woman’s lips. To the world shown to its viewer, she was smiling, but if you flipped it over until her right side was facing, those same lips were as straight as a pin. “You see, the woman was a geisha. It’s in their profession to entertain and uphold tradition, to be united with art and not with man. Their relationship was doomed from the beginning. They would never be together when she lived in an entirely different world; one was willing to stay behind and the other never meant to stay any longer. Can you guess which is who?”

“I'm guessing…the man was the one willing to stay behind, and the geisha isn't allowed to marry nor be involved with men like that.”

Kita nodded with a small smile, although it wasn’t long before his shoulders slumped, his grip on your arms loosening. “Correct. That's why…this painting has always taught me a lesson. And that is to be careful with who I love because I wouldn't ever want to keep searching for a person who never wanted to be found.”

Whether your understanding of his implications was correct or not, you didn't dare comment any further. You simply took it upon yourself to detach yourself from him, attention focused on the one thing that had been bugging you since you saw the painting.

“The cherry blossoms– it’s not the same.”

“The cherry blossoms he's standing under are the real ones. The ones she's walking past are nothing but street decorations; lights shaped like flowers to bring more glow to the city night. While the cherry blossoms normally represent a renewal of life as it blooms for the beginning of spring and end of winter, it also teaches the importance of the present time. How fleeting it is; how we only realize how significant a certain event is until it's all part of the past. In a way, it's the ironic thing about being mortal. You take time for granted, but at the same time, in the knowledge that nothing lasts forever, it makes us hold on to precious memories that keep us going on,” Kita’s eyes widened into saucers as his mouth fell ajar, facing you with a tinge of pink clear on his cheek. “Shit, I’ve been rambling. I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. It’s a wonderful story,” you kept the distance between the both of you, fiddling with your fingers before you sucked in your cheeks. “I don’t know if you showing me this painting is your way of comforting me, but thanks. Art isn’t really my thing, but it’s nice, you know? Just like music, we leave pieces of ourselves behind in the things and people we pour our love to. I think I can relate to the geisha much more than I’d like to admit.”

“I’d say I feel the same way,” Kita piped in, “You and I don’t have the connection the muses in the painting did, but I can’t deny that I feel at ease when I’m around you. Like your presence alone brings a smile to my face, and that’s enough for me,” he stuffed his hands inside his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels while his gaze remained straight ahead. “From the moment I met you, I could tell your heart belongs somewhere out there. Either from a person or you’re just someone out of my reach, I know where I stand. So if this is our last date and I’ll never see you again, then I’ll keep this night close to my heart. At least I can say that for once in my life, I’d experienced my dreams coming true.”

A melancholic laugh burst from your chest, your vision of Kita blurring momentarily from the tears that threatened to breakthrough. “You wanted to look at art while appreciating a beautiful woman?”

Kita’s eyes shone as he nudged your shoulders, “You remembered.”

“Well, it’s hard to forget someone like you,” you teased, the both of you indulging in innocent giggles before your mother’s words echoed in your head. You sniffed the tears back and gnawed at your bottom lip. “You know about our arranged marriage, Kita. Technically this won’t be the last time we’ll see each other when our parents expect us to marry soon.”

Kita shook his head at you. His hands landed on your shoulders, cradling you close but still at a comfortable distance. Leaning down until his forehead nearly brushed with yours, you saw nothing but the smile of pure kindness – one genuine enough your heart would’ve melted right then and there.

“I won’t marry you, Y/N, so you don’t have to worry. I’ll be standing right beside you as we tell our parents we’ll decide how our lives should play out. Until then, you should live the life you want.”

“Kita…”

“It’s okay to cry. It doesn’t make you weak,” he reassured with a squeeze of your shoulders, bringing you down to his chest until your tears were staining his shirt. It was embarrassing. To be held and planted to his body while his arms shielded your tear-stained face from everyone that walked by, yet you felt utterly safe at that moment. Understood. After all, you didn’t want anybody telling you that you’d be fine because you were strong. Rather, you wanted someone to tell you it was okay to be hurt because it mattered. It mattered to you and you were undeniably hurt by it all – by the disappointment of Suna, the heartbreak of not being able to be with him, and this guilt sinking on you because Kita deserved better.

If you could go back in time and rewrite the past, you would’ve risked it all to be with Suna. Before it was too late. That way, you’d have never met someone as kind as Kita and hurt a sweet soul like him. “Had we met in a different timeline and a different world,” soothed by his strong arms offering you a temporary home, you sobbed into Kita's chest. “I would've loved you with all my heart, Kita.”

“I know. I see the way you look at me, and that’s enough. But this is the present and this is our world. This isn’t where you want to be and I’m not the one you wish was here with you. And that’s okay. Honestly, as long as you’re happy, then I am, too.”

Two weeks. That was how long it had been since Suna last contacted you, and the unread messages glaring at him from his phone began to eat away at his conscience. He wanted to call you, wanted to text you and tell you everything. But it was easier said than done. When he had a vomiting and nauseous ex-girlfriend right beside him, along with your half-sister who’d made it her job to keep a close eye on everything he did, Suna had never felt more suffocated in his life.

It wasn’t until Nagisa had made sure Suna wasn’t going to leave that she eventually left the parents-to-be alone. Now, Suna hunched over his couch, his toes tracing patterns on the fur carpet you’d gotten him as a random birthday gift.

Mari sat opposite of Suna. Clothed in his sweaters as she was comforted by his scent, her cracked lips bled with each word she spoke.

“It’ll always be her, huh?” she rubbed her belly, cheeks sunken and face hauntingly pale.  Pregnancy took away the glow of her skin and she lost her appetite, the bones of her fingers running little strokes as she stared at Suna's empty face looking back at the sonogram. True to her words, the baby was his. Mari wandered the streets for the weeks following her parents kicking her out of their home, saved only by Nagisa who saw her throwing up in a dark alley on her way back home from work. That was how the two met, and somehow, they formed a bond far more sisterly than Nagisa could've ever had with you.

Watching it all unfold in front of him, Suna felt nauseous as well.

“I’m sorry, Mari,” Suna mumbled, though he wasn’t quite sure what he was apologizing for. The more he looked at Mari, however, he saw nothing but longing. Heartache. A borderline possessiveness marked out of jealousy, stemmed from insecurities that were now brewing deep within her. No matter the efforts you and Suna put, Mari never rested well. Deep down, she knew she could never take your place in his heart, and if anything, that would probably be the only fault of Suna’s he had in her eyes. That he loved you more than he loved her. And if that was a sin, then Suna would repent if it meant the whole world knew nobody could compare to you.

“I didn’t mean for things to end this way.”

“Why won’t you stay with me, Rin? We’re going to have a baby; isn’t that enough for you? Our child is going to need a happy family—”

“Our child deserves honesty from his parents. I’m sure they’ll appreciate it more that we were honest about whatever we had instead of pretending we’re happy together when we’re not,” believe me, I know that better than anyone; he wanted to add. Sighing, Suna let his head rest on the back of the couch. “I’ll support you, Mari. I’ll take care of you until the baby is here, but I can’t love you the way you want me to when it’s her I want. It’ll always be her.”

“What about her that makes her so special, Rin? What does she have that I don’t?”

Here we go again. For the past few weeks that he stayed with her, she exposed her true colors. Osamu always made snide comments here and there that something didn’t feel right about Mari, but Suna ignored them. She used to be his girlfriend, after all. It was only natural he’d defend her, but now that she no longer held back with how much she wanted Suna to be hers and only hers, Suna couldn’t help but feel pathetic, ashamed of how he didn’t see it sooner. Or maybe, it was because Mari made him happy when you left.

And he needed that more than ever. He needed the distraction of her body and her love for him that even when it got unhealthy, even when he choked around her toxicity, he chose to stay. Suna, in all forms possible, reached a point of desperation. All to forget you.

But he couldn’t. Suna understood it now that there was no way he’d be able to forget you unless someone wiped you away from his memories by force. There could be no way his heart would stop skipping a beat each time you smiled at him, or how his skin would always yearn to touch yours, to feel your warmth. It would be impossible for a day to come that his lips would no longer be greedy in tasting you, in swallowing the moans and sweet whispers of his name on your lips he was so obsessed with.

Suna would always love you. He loved you then, he still loved you now, and in the years that would come, he would still love you. Nothing would change that; not even her. “I’m really sorry, Mari.”

“Where are you going?”

Suna was halfway out the door when he heard the creaking of a sofa, a waddling Mari shedding tears right beside him. “I need to talk to her. She’s still my girlfriend and I fucked up everything we had. Just when she started opening up to me too…” he groaned to himself, interrupted by the soft sniffles she made. Suna softened out of pity, cupping Mari’s cheek as he promised, “Don’t worry, Mari. I’ll come back for the baby. I just… I need to sort out my feelings for – our relationship. When I return, then I’ll think about what we can do about this.”

He didn’t dare stay any longer.

Knowing Mari, she’d preach about the memories they made in an attempt to get him to stay. Suna took the stairs two at a time until he was inside his car. He slumped in the seat, eyes closed as the exhaustion crawled its way to awareness and his sigh came out heavy. Tired would be an understatement from the stiffness of his shoulders, one eye open to dial his friend.

“Hey, ‘Samu, sorry for the sudden call but can you watch over Mari for a bit? She’s at my place right now.”

“Man, seriously?” Osamu groaned from the other line, matching everything Suna felt. He was truly fucked, Suna realized, not only was he close to losing his best friend and his first love, but the mother of his first child was a damn lunatic. He should’ve listened to Osamu a long time ago. “No offense since she’s the mother of your child, but I don’t like that woman. She’ll get on my nerves.”

“Please, ‘Samu. I need to go talk to Y/N before it’s too late,” he pleaded, already stepping on the gas to make his way to your place. Glancing at the time, you should be out in the office by now, legs propped up on your coffee table as you watched a movie as a nightly ritual to distress from a long day of work.  

“‘Samu, you there?”

“Uh,” Osamu coughed, “Rin, about that…”

“What is it? Spit it out already.”

A minute of silence passed before Osamu cursed lowly to himself. Suna parked to the side to let his friend finish, a sinking feeling stirring in his stomach. “She… she’s leaving, Rintaro. I heard her parents wanted her to be in an arranged marriage with the Kita heir but both of them went against it, and she left the main office on her own accord. Her flight is in an hour,” Osamu declared, the silence ringing loud in Suna’s ears. “I’m sorry, Rin. She begged me not to tell you.”

Until now, Suna had never known what true fear was. When you broke up with him, part of his pain was eased knowing he’d only lost you as a girlfriend, but you never left. You came back to remind him you would still be friends; that you’d be a part of his life even with your current situation. So then why was it that even though he never took you for granted, he still felt like he was running out of time?

Suna’s focus was in a daze. He wasn’t in control of himself anymore as he sped past the streets, his foot heavy on the gas. Make it on time, don’t be too late, you have to see her again! His heart pounded wildly in his chest so much so that he struggled to breathe.

Still, he kept going on. He didn’t stop even as his lungs burned for air, his hair sticking to his skin from the sweat beaded on his head. Suna pushed past the lines and called out your name. Like a crazed man, he sought out the only person who could make him feel this way, legs burning and heart barely intact from its urge to break into pieces. Suna held onto the ring he got for you after graduation. The diamond dug into his palms until his skin turned red, but he kept pushing. Kept running. Kept singing the tune only you would respond to, your name falling from his lips in garbled cries and desperate pleads.

And in the middle of the crowd, he spotted you. Even with a thousand others around you, Suna would be able to tell you apart from sight, scent, or touch alone.

“Wait!” Suna ran after you. His hand found its way to wrap around your wrist, forcing you to spin towards him as relief poured from his being. Suna felt like laughing, euphoria blanketing him whole until he came face to face with you. In front of him, you stood with a dejected smile, both relieved and anguished for reasons he couldn’t understand, but what he noticed most were the tears glistening down your face. “You…you’re—”

“I can’t believe you’re really here. I thought I was hallucinating when I heard your voice, but you’re actually here. You came.”

Suna blinked back in surprise. “Why aren’t you mad at me?” he asked cautiously, thumbs reaching out ever so softly to catch the beads ruining your makeup.

Suna remembered how much you hated crying during college. You never stopped complaining about how two hours of effort put into your makeup would go to waste; one of the reasons he made sure to only put happy movies, but each time, he reminded you. You were beautiful. You were beautiful even when you cried. He found you beautiful with or without makeup – he never got tired of making you feel you were on top of the world. But he’d fucked up. He made a mistake and he hurt you.

Yet here you were, giggling with hiccupped sobs, looking at him like he’d just run to the moon and back for you. “You’re…you’re not cursing, or shouting at me. Why is that? Don’t you hate me? Aren’t you mad over what I did?”

Shaking your head, you kissed the insides of his palm. “No. Quite the opposite, actually – I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Suna felt like dropping to his knees. He was more than ready to beg for forgiveness if need be, anything to undo the past and have you back in his arms. “We were doing so good. We’re happy together, but I messed it all up. I didn’t even know she was pregnant or why she came back now.”

“You can thank my sister for it. It was Nagisa who told Mari you planned on marrying her, so she came back reassured she’d still have a future with you,” sniffling, Suna watched as you made yourself small by ducking your head to hide your tears. “Small world, isn’t it? To think that my sister would be involved here too… But you know, Rintaro, it’s not always so bad. I guess there are just some people we’ll never get along with, my sister included. She’ll never forgive me for something I didn’t do, so maybe I should stop trying so hard to soften the hearts of those who don’t want me,” you blew air out of your mouth, “I suggest you do the same.”

“But why do you need to leave, Y/N? I need you now more than ever. We didn’t – we didn’t even get a chance to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you concluded, taking a step forward when Suna shook his head, heavy in denial. You cradled his face then, shushing and cooing at him like you did each time he doubted himself. “Stop worrying so much, baby. You’ll be a great father. That’s something I’m sure of. Remember those little conversations we had on how much you wanted kids and you’d watch your grandchildren run around you in your minivan? That’s possible now. Your dreams can come true.”

“But I wanted to fulfill those with you,” his tears landed on the insides of your wrist, “We haven’t…we haven’t even done much yet. We were young and we were so fucking stupid but I love you. I’ve always loved you and I don’t want you to go and I know how selfish I sound over that because this isn’t fair to you, but god, I want you. I want you to stay – even if you’re just my friend. We don’t have to date or be like that ever again, just please, don’t go—”

“—I don’t want to go either!” Suna was stunned when you crushed him into a hug. His shirt muffled your cries as you fisted the material, heartbeats syncing with one another and tears shed for the same reasons. “You know me, Rintaro. I’d be fucking dumb if I left you right now when we were so close.”

Closing his eyes shut, Suna wrapped his arms around you. He embraced you so tight in fear of losing you. And the ironic part was that he knew he would. Yet, he held on close, held on tight, and prayed this was all nothing but a nightmare he’d soon wake up from.

“So then stay. We'll make it work. I don't plan on being with Mari anymore; I'm only here for the baby because they're my responsibility. So just stay with me, okay? We've been through everything. Thick and thin, I always had your back like you had mine. You and I can’t end here. I don’t want this to be the end.”

Your voice turned somber.

“I love you, Rin.”

“Don’t say that,” he gritted his teeth, unable to stop himself from pushing his palms against his eyes to stop the throbbing in his head. His mind ached, his heart torn. “Fuck, I don’t want to do this, Y/N. I’ve always wanted to hear you say those words but don’t fucking say it now if it sounds like goodbye. You-You’d be better off never loving me in the first place if that means you can stay, just don’t leave me. I want to make more memories with you.”

Your cries got louder upon hearing Suna stumble over his words, quite nearly choking on his breath from how hard he tried to make you stay.

“I know, Rin, me too. There are still so many things I wanted to do with you too,” forcing out a laugh, you tugged the necklace out of your shirt and showed it to him. “Remember this necklace you got me with the seashell? I lost it when we broke up but turns out it was always in this little box I hid. And guess what? I opened it the other day and saw everything we'd been through. From receipts to ice cream dates, ticket stubs, the Polaroids you'd taken off your room, and even a spare key to the house we used to live in – I kept them all. I remember them all. We’d done everything but it feels like it’s not enough.”

“So then why are you leaving?” he stressed, “And you didn't even tell me, you idiot. Did you think only Osamu was allowed to know just so you could leave the country without even saying goodbye? That's selfish of you. That's fucked up.”

“Because I don’t want to say goodbye to you, Rintaro. I don’t want to leave but I need to. You and I are always so complicated—”

“—Then let’s work it out.”

“—I’m tired,” you confessed, shoulders slumping in defeat. Clutching at your chest, you heaved a deep breath, the baggage you carried heavier than your actual luggage. “I’m really tired, Rintaro. Maybe… maybe you and I aren’t meant to be together right now.”

“Then when?”

“At the right time, if you’re the right person,” if this was your shitty attempt at comforting him, Suna was not having any of it. He fervently shook his head, bottom lip curling up as he kept chanting no to himself. You stood there, close yet so far away, wearing a smile that was genuine for the first time since he came to the airport. He hated it. Hated seeing you smile because how could you smile when you were moments away from disappearing in his life? “You need to let me go, Rintaro. We can’t be happy together right now, but trust in fate. I trust that we’ll keep coming back to each other like we always do, so I’ll find you again, Rintaro. I promise you that.”

Suna was cut off by the ringing of his phone. Mentally cursing at whoever it may be, Suna would’ve ignored it if it weren’t for Osamu’s name flashing on the screen. “‘Samu, what’s—” Mari cried in the background. Only this time, it wasn't different. It wasn't her crocodile tears that he'd gotten used to. Rather, she was screaming out of agony, and Osamu was panicking from the sounds of comforting promises he made to Mari that it’s okay, he’ll be here soon, hold on a little longer!

“It’s Mari. She’s bleeding, Rintaro, I-I don’t know what happened!”

A thump could be heard from the other line before Osamu ended the call, leaving Suna with nothing but the sound of his whole world falling apart and the odd placidity of your voice. Clutching your suitcases, you patted his shoulder. “You should go, Rintaro. She needs you.”

“Will you ever come back?”

You opened your mouth to speak when the intercoms played a soft tune, followed by a woman’s voice calling out. “Passenger Y/N, L/N, this is now your last call to board your flight. Calling for Passenger—” your head hung low. Suna’s knuckles turned white as you sucked in your cheeks for a passing beat, head lifting only to give him a little chuckle he knew would haunt him. “I’ll see you around, Rintaro. Let’s leave it up to fate to bring me back to you when the world decides we can be together again,” spinning on your heel, Suna watched as you paused, grinning at him over your shoulder one last time. “Hey, Rin?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for the playlist,” you waved your phone, the ‘my best friend is getting married!’ playlist he compiled for you during your second anniversary playing through your earphones. It was the same playlist he once claimed he'd play if ever you met the one you wanted to spend your life with.

He couldn’t tell you then but Suna made that playlist hoping it would be him. Hoping it would be him that you’d be dancing with when the time came.

“Thank you for loving me.”

But that time had long passed. The both of you were no longer those same kids who chased each other on the sands before making out in the sunset, or the young lovers who talked about the future like you could make it happen. No, the harsh reality was that Suna had long accepted he’d be nothing but a friend – which he supposed right now, he even had that taken away from him. All you left him with would be nothing but nostalgic memories. But he knew. He knew he couldn’t make you stay. Perhaps you were never meant to stay, and he too realized that he was just as tired of running after someone who only wanted freedom.

“You’re welcome,” Suna pocketed the diamond ring and waved back to you, reminding himself that even if he couldn’t have the future with you, he still created a memorable past. He had been someone that loved you. As long as you know that you’d always have someone to come back to in him.

“Safe travels, lover. Until we meet again.”

[ BREAKING NEWS ]

Celebrity Volleyball player from EJP Raijin, middle blocker Suna Rintaro, aged 25, was found in a car crash today at 7 PM at Shinjuku. A passenger in Suna’s car is his partner, Hamamoto Mari, 22, who is four months pregnant. Police stated the couple was on their way to get medical service for Ms. Hamamoto when a drunk driver from the opposite lane swerved. Suna Rintaro avoided the car by swerving to the hard left, causing the car to crash to a nearby tree and wreck half of the vehicle. Both passengers have been taken to Kyoto University hospital; one of them in critical condition and the other dead upon arrival.

taglist: @hollowpurpl @kyriaan @myhomeworksnotdone @omisemi​ @criesinpisces​ @fairybnha3​ @sunasmuse​ @zeninnwife​ @rinstars​ @qualitygiantshoepsychic​ @sunasbabie​ @massivelynervousprincess​ @justablogforreblogs​ @hikroki-blog​ @thebeardedmoon​ @rinsangel​ @daphnxy​ @rintarovibes​ 

random fact : the painting kita was talking about was not an actual painting. it’s from a music video called “someone that loves you.” it’s one of my favorite songs since i dedicated that song to someone that meant a lot to me :(

[thepremedthatwrites]

Insufferable

request: Hi lovely, can you do Peter pevensie x reader imagine, please? The reader meets Pevensies in Narnia, but from the beginning she and Peter can't get along together, lots of arguments, while secretly and slowly developing feelings towards each other they don't want to admit, lot of sexual tension before smth happens but eventually they'll end up together. you can include some smut stuff. Thanks xx

hi, so i was gone for a while sorry about that haha but now school is done for the year so i can focus on writing more also this is going to be a multi part story cause it’s enemies to lovers

part 2 | part 3

A soft breeze brushed my face as my eyes fluttered open. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as I turned to where my bedroom window should have been. Instead, a large bookshelf filled with a myriad of leather bound books was there.  The confusion grew as I took in my surroundings.  Where my nightstand should have stood was a trunk.  My dark blue comforter was now a deep maroon.  My sheets felt softer than they ever were.  As I ran a hand over them, I realized they were silk.  

“You’re up,” a voice said.  I jumped, my head snapping in the direction where the voice came from.  A tall, blond man sat in an armchair across the room.  “Lucy found you laying in the meadows.  I carried you here.  I should fetch you a maid.  You look like a mess.”  He spoke quickly, not giving me any time to interject until he was finished.  

“Where am I?” I asked, choosing to ignore the man’s last comments about me.

“Narnia,” the man said.  He stepped closer to me and as he approached, the light from the lantern on the nightstand illuminated him.  On top of his head sat a golden crown decorated with jewels.  He had good bone structure, his jawline strong and sharp.  His sparkling blue eyes studied me.

“I’m being serious,” I said, crossing my arms.  I wasn’t wearing a bra and the shirt I was wearing did not offer much coverage concerning my breasts.  The man pulled his full lips into a smirk.

“And so am I.”  I took a deep breath, not wanting to start a fight with the man who seemed to have some power if his crown was any indication.

“Please just tell me where I am.  I have a very important presentation for school tomorrow and I cannot be wasting time sitting here.”

“You’re from Earth, aren’t you,” he said, the smirk still on his face as he sat down on the bed.  

“What kind of question is that?  Of course I am.”

“I hate to break it to you, darling, but you aren’t on Earth anymore.”

“I seriously don’t have time for this.  If you don’t tell me where I am, I’ll have to call the police.”  I started searching for my cell phone which had been tossed somewhere onto my bed before I fell asleep.  My hands moved the sheets around, my eyes frantically looking for the familiar rectangular shape of my phone.

“I already told you where you are,” the man said, laughing at me.  “You are in Narnia.”

I let out a huff as I gave up my fruitless search.  “Alright fine, whatever.  I’m in Narnia.  How do I get back to Earth?”

“How would I know?”  I wanted to bury my face into the pillow and scream.  Was he being serious?

“If you won’t be of any help, you can leave.”

“I’m afraid not, darling.  You see, I’m the high king here which means I have to make sure you aren’t a threat to my nation.”  I let out an incredulous laugh.

“Who let you be king?”

“High king, actually.”

“King, high king, whatever.  You most certainly aren’t acting like any sound ruler right now.”

“Would you prefer I tied you up and interrogated you?”  I bit back my response.  I wasn’t sure if he would actually do that if I weren’t careful enough.

“Okay fine.  What must you know in order to determine that I am not a threat to your precious nation?”

“Well first, you could be a bit more respectful.  You are talking to the high king after all.  Second, tell me your name.”

“I was told not to tell my name to strangers.”

“I’m hurt, don’t you trust me?”  The man feigned a look of betrayal as I stayed silent, narrowing my (e/c) eyes at him.  “Okay fine, I’ll go first.  My name is High King Peter the Magnificent, Lord of Cair Paravel and Emperor of the Lone Islands.”

“That’s a mouthful.”

“Now that you know my name, will you tell me yours?”  

“Okay, fine,” I sighed.  “My name is (y/n).  Happy now?”  King Peter smiled, nodding his head slowly.

“Very good, (y/n).  My second question is how did you find your way to Narnia?”

“I’m not sure,” I said, my voice softer as I tried to rack my brain for any memory of how I could’ve ended up here.  “All I remember is falling asleep in my bed and then waking up here.”

“Interesting,” the king said, almost more to himself than to me.  “Well, I’m not sure how you got here or how we can get you back but I’m sure Aslan would know.”

“Who’s Aslan?” I questioned.  King Peter looked at me, the ghost of a smile on his face.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.  Perhaps I’ll have Lucy explain that to you.”

“Who is Lucy?”

“My sister.  You’ll meet her tomorrow along with all the others.  But now, you should sleep.  It’s late.  I’ll see you tomorrow (y/n).”  He walked over to the large mahogany doors.

“Good night, Your Majesty.  It was a pleasure talking with you.”

“You should drop that sarcastic tone if you want to survive here,” King Peter said as he started to open the door.

“Is that a threat?” I asked, raising my eyebrow.

“Only if you want it to be.”  And with that, he left the room, closing the door behind him.  I buried myself deep into the covers, squeezing my eyes closed.  Maybe when I woke up, I’d be back in my bedroom.  That’s what I hoped.  Instead, I tossed and turned in the sheets.  Although they were of the softest material imaginable, I couldn’t fall asleep.  I let out a sigh, admitting defeat before getting out of the bed.  I looked around the room, spotting a wardrobe in the corner.  I pulled open the door to see a white robe, along with a few other articles of clothing.  I grabbed the robe, wrapping it around my body before opening the door.  

The door opened to a hallway, torches lighting the way.  The cool stone pressing against my feet as I walked along the corridor.  Every now and then I would pass a few doors.  All of them were always tightly shut.  I wasn’t sure where I was going and I was definitely not sure of how to get back to the room I had been in before.  That didn’t matter to me.  I just needed to clear my head.  The hallways I was walking in seemed to be reaching an end, two large wooden doors waiting for me.  The right one was slightly ajar, candlelight spilling from behind it.

I crept towards the doors.  I peeped in to see shelves upon shelves of books.  I felt my mouth fall slightly open as I cautiously walked into the room.  The shelves reached up to the tall ceiling.  In the middle of the ceiling was a large glass dome where the full moon was visible.  “Beautiful, isn’t it?” a voice said.  I tore my eyes from the moon to see a man sitting in an armchair near a fireplace, a brown book in his hand.  

“I’m sorry for disturbing you,” I said quickly.  An amused smile formed on his face.

“Don’t be.  You must be the girl Lucy found in the meadows.”

“Apparently I am,” I said while slowly walking towards the man.  “May I?” I asked, motioning to the empty seat across from him.

“Of course.”  I quickly sat down, fidgeting with my hands.

“Am I truly in Narnia?” I asked.

“Trust me, if Peter was lying you would know.  He is a horrible liar.”  I couldn’t help but smile.  

“I just never heard of Narnia before.”

“Most people from Earth haven’t.”

“I feel like I should do my research on the place.  I don’t want to offend anyone.”  As soon as the words left my mouth, my mind immediately flashed to my interaction with Peter.  “Well, not offend anyone else, I mean.”

“I’m guessing Peter wasn’t the most welcoming.”

“I don’t know.  There was just something about the way he talked to me that was infuriating.  It was like he was amused by me.  I couldn’t stand it.”

“Well, I apologize for my brother’s actions.”

“You’re his brother?”  The man nodded.  “Does that mean you’re a king too?”  He nodded again.  Great, I’ve met two royals and both meetings had been in my pajamas.  

“King Edmund, that’s me.”  

“Why isn’t your title long like your brothers?”

“Oh it is, I just don’t like stroking myself.”  I let out a chuckle, King Edmund joining in.  “You’ll get to meet Susan and Lucy tomorrow morning at breakfast.”

“Oh, I’m invited to dine with the royals?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Only if you choose to grace us with your presence.”  I felt my lips tug into a smile.

“Of course, I couldn’t disappoint the kings and queens of Narnia.”

“How generous,” King Edmund replied, a matching smile on his face.  “We should head to bed now.  You don’t want to be sleeping at the dining table tomorrow.”

“Yes, we should,” I said, exhaustion finally hitting me as I got up.

“Do you know where you’re going?”

“I’m afraid not.”

“I can show you, I have a feeling I know which room Peter put you in.”  He got up from his seat, walking towards the doors with his book still in his hands.  I quickly followed as he opened the door, holding it open for me.  We walked down hallways that seemed somewhat familiar to me.

“How do you remember where to go?” I asked as we walked.

“I don’t.  I just walk and hope I go to the right place.”  I let out a soft laugh as we passed a door where guards stood.  “I would use the guards as reference,” he continued, motioning towards the standing guards, “but they all look the same with that ridiculous face.”  He mimicked the face of the guards, eyebrows furrowed, nose flared, and mouth twisted into a frown as they stayed focused on protecting whatever was in their room.  “They look constipated all the time.”  I let out another laugh, louder than the other.  I immediately covered my mouth, hoping the noise didn’t disturb anyone.  Edmund laughed at this, the sound of the door opening cutting him off.

King Peter stood in the doorway, sleep still clouding his eyes.  “What are you doing, Ed?” he asked, before his eyes landed on me.  “You both should be asleep.”  His voice was sterner than before as his cold blue eyes focused on me.  

“Don’t worry Pete.  I was showing her back to her room, that’s all.”

“You two shouldn’t be alone together, lest someone believes you two to be partaking in a scandal.”  My face warmed at his accusation.

“I’m sure my reputation isn’t going to be ruined by being seen with King Edmund,” I said.

“I wasn’t talking about you.  Ed, you are a king.  You shouldn’t be seen with any girl, especially a peasant.”  

“I’m not a peasant.”

“Well, you certainly aren’t royalty.”

“So that makes me less than?’

“Technically, yes.”

“Well being royal doesn’t make you any more pleasant!”

“You should be thankful I’m letting you stay here.  Unless you want to live on the streets.”

“At least the streets don’t have you.”  I made my eyes meet his.  My face felt like it was on fire as I narrowed my eyes.  His jaw was clenched as his eyes stared down at me.  

“Let’s get you to bed,” Edmund softly said, his hand wrapped around my arm.  “And you, go to bed,” he added, looking at King Peter.

“Good night,” King Peter said roughly.

“Good night, your majesty,” I replied before mockingly curtseying.  He turned around, slamming the door behind him.

Edmund and I walked on in silence for a moment.  “Well that went nicely,” Edmund finally said as we neared a door.

“He truly is insufferable.  Did you hear what he said?  Calling me a peasant like I was worth nothing.  The audacity!”

Edmund only nodded, a small smile on his face.  “You should go to sleep before you get yourself kicked out by Pete.”

I let out a huff.  “I’ll try to be on my best behavior tomorrow,” I promised as I opened the door.  I was surprised to see it was the same room I had woken up in.  “How did you know which room to take me to?”

“This is the room Peter has his most important guest stay in,” Edmund said, the smile still on his face.

[lovesick-panmess]

Protect Them

Soo I know I'm way overdue with the 3rd part of my Armageddon AU but I've actually been replaying the lessons so I get a proper feel for what I'm writing, so to make up for it and to get this idea out of my head I've been thinking about it for days here is a related fic between the oldest brothers

-------

Levi can count on one hand how many times he's seen Lucifer coming home injured. The Avatar of Pride could easily crush irrelevant demons with his glare and he proved worthy of Diavalo's right-hand man for a reason... But the first time that Levi remembers was on a travel mission with Lord Diavalo within a year after their fall from grace. It was a distant memory, seeing Lucifer stumble up the stairs blooded up and adamantly refusing care from any of them, even Mammon who was following behind his every footstep. He had gotten used to such behavior and just settled for turning up his headphones on his way to the safe haven that was his room, stopping when he noticed the eldest's door cracked open. He watched Mammon gingerly wrap the bandage around his shoulder, blinking back tears in his eyes and shaking his head vehemently as Lucifer spoke. The music was loud and distracting he just settled for reading their lips-

"Mammon I need you to do this for me.."

"I won't! There's no need, ya just paranoid-!"

Watching the tears well up made Levi shift, uncomfortable and jealous, wondering what bond allowed them to be so vulnerable so open. Hadn't they all fought their father together? Rallied behind him so readily behind Lucifer, their Morningstar that only shined a light that only Mammon was allowed to see. He lingered before continuing to walk down the hall, to dwell in his own sunken loneliness but hearing Mammon speak one more time before the door had shut.

"..I'll do it, alright? Just stop ya crying, Luci.."

He had felt the deja vu of that very moment playing out in front of him, though this time he was hiding from Mammon in his secret spot in the living room. They had planned to go to the movies in an hour and Levi knew that Mammon would try to find him to convince him to pay for the tickets yet again so he decided to wait out the time so that scumbag would have to bring his wallet. It was a surprise to see the door open, everyone else is out and Lucifer's return to be scheduled for a few more days, but instead, the eldest had come early with visible wounds and beatings. Levi felt frozen, debating on whether he should slip out to help or stay putt but once again Mammon comes down the stairs like it's his calling. "Lucifer? Let me help you!" Denial was the first given reaction, the eldest's heart too hard and stubborn to ask for help before collapsing into Mammon's arms.

Levi followed with anxiety brewing in his chest, now wanting to just hide away in his room since plans were clearly on hold and he could do nothing to help the pair. Not like they would want his help, a shitty pathetic otaku wasn't much good at bandaging wounds, not like he was able to get much practice like Mammon did. Jealousy seethed, it made his heart race as he hid to the side of the door at the mention of his name.

"We have to tell him, Mams."

"We don't have to tell him shit! It's fine like this...Levi doesn't have to be involved."

It was confusing to be thrown out of the loop, but it hurt to hear Mammon so effortlessly fight to not include him. Maybe the second-born felt that Levi wasn't worth it? Too weak and unable to do..whatever it is they are arguing about, even so, it was odd-looking into Lucifer's room. Mammon unafraid of the eldest's temper and even being so bold as to glare at him while cleaning his cuts, Lucifer had an expression of utter fondness that was intertwined with an unlabeled fear, one that only he seemed to see.

"Mammon, you know it takes a lot out of me to..admit this. I'm almost jealous that you're able to view me so..."

Shit shit shit, he had been so entrapped in their conversation and his own envy he hadn't realized that it was emitting throughout the hall. He stiffens when Lucifer calls his name, slipping out from where he was hiding and now embarrassed. "Levi..come here please." He notes that Mammon refuses to look at him, biting his bottom lip hard as he sits next to his brother, so not used to this soft tone from him. He really must have stepped into a completely different world, one where Lucifer is willing to fight tooth and nail with his own pride in order to tell them the truth. And what a horrid truth it must be.

"Lucifer what's going on? Why is Mammon..." He trails off, feeling Lucifer's hand skim through his hair, and despite his own embarrassment leaned into the comforting touch and suddenly the bottle of Demonus was looking very tempting. "Levi...I would like to involve you in something very important, in order to protect the others." Lucifer's words were slow, each one taking some kind of will to overcome his pride, his wings twitching in what Levi could easily place as anxiety and one he knew way too well. "I'm not allowed to say anything about the threat outside of the Devildom but it puts us at risk and I...There may be a chance I won't come back."

His stomach drops, he doesn't realize that he's shaking until he feels Mammon's arms wrapping around his shoulder, shaking his head in pure denial. Not Lucifer, the most powerful one of them all, their eldest brother not coming back. Such thoughts were unfathomable to even believe, much less considered as a probability to the point that they had to talk about it. Acknowledge it and take action, Lucifer keeps talking and Mammon presses Levi closer to his chest, "I talked this with Mammon since the beginning but now we believe it's time to tell you in case something were ever to happen to the both of us and you would decide when to tell Satan..."

The prospect of such responsibility makes Levi feel like a fish out of water as he gulps for air yet in that same breath go on a rampage of self-deprecation and drowning doubt. How he's not ready, he's a good-for-nothing shitty pathetic otaku, he can't protect his brothers, he's weak, he's nothing, if Lucifer and Mammon are gone then there would be no fucking hope for them. The two oldest look at each other, small bits of regret building up from the pressure and burden they had put on him, Mammon gently rubbing his back and Lucifer cupping his face. "Leviathan please breathe."

His body does it automatically before he can think about it, the air in his lungs felt like boiling water as the panic slowly dissipates in his chest. All that was left was his own soft mutterings, so sure that Lucifer was probably disappointed that he has to trust in Levi of all people to protect them, he leans against Mammon who nudges him affectionately before resting his head on his shoulder. "I...I haven't really done anything good since...I was General...how can you be so sure in me?" He asks but squirms unready for whatever the answer might be, though he's unable to mistake Lucifer's radiating pride that he feels.

"Who's the one who came up with the plan on where to steal the weapons in the Celestial Realm?"

"M-Me but I-"

"And who helped convince the others to lay low while we defended the base?"

"I did but Luci-"

"Who's the one who took an arrow for Mammon while he was trying to protect me?"

"Lucifer-!"

He gets cut off with a flick on his forehead, his lips set in a pout but meeting the Morningstar's expression that made butterflies bloom in his stomach from overwhelming pride had him turn away and looking down at the floor. "Levi, get out of your head for one second and look at how smart and tactical you are. When it matters...when there is no time to panic. You're the third strongest family for a fucking reason, you should start believing it." The unusual confidence makes him flush but it's really Lucifer's words that bring the tears, no longer from fear but slowly coming to the realization that Lucifer and Mammon too had faith in him...they always did.

"Do ya still wanna join the pact? If ya wanna think about it, ya still can Levi." He blinks at the fact that Mammon had really been silent this whole time and just hugging him, the second born now getting up to tighten the remaining bandages. "Did you think about it, Mammon?" Levi knew the answer in his gut, only the blind would question the unwavering devotion that Mammon and Lucifer had for each other, only further cemented as the Avatar of greed simply shakes his head. He feels a small smile form on his face, "Then I don't need to think about it...I want to do this."

By the next few hours, any of the remaining tension and somber feelings had slipped away, replaced by a calm atmosphere that usually would not last long in the House of Lamentation. The melody of the cursed record floated and hung in the air as Levi rested on the floor in his demon form, the pact officially made and learning about the secret doorway by Lucifer's bookcase, definitely locking that information into memory. He sees Mammon grinning above him, curiosity embedded in his features, "So where'd ya decide to put the pact mark?" Levi lifts his sweater, the symbol of the three still glow fresh on the side by his ribs, and Mammon hissing with empathy.

He wanted it to hurt weirdly enough, to serve as a forever reminder that this pain was temporary but the pain of losing his brothers would surely last till the end of time. Mammon shows the mark on his hand, Lucifer clicks his tongue in disapproval as someone might ask about the pact but the second brother waves his concern away. He enjoys looking at the pact, the constant reassurance that they would be okay when the word goes to absolute shit, and Lucifer couldn't find any argument against that. They both look at the eldest who crosses his arms with a sharp, "No-" before puppy eyes come into play and Lucifer's pride can not save him from that.

What they both don't expect is for Lucifer to turn around and spread his wings out as if to show off, but then they see it. The markings trailing up his spine and next to the scars of where his two wings used to be, Levi is the first to reach up and touch it, internally blaming the remnants of Lucifer's pride that is making him so bold. He sees his hand tremble but luckily he is able to hold his voice steady, "Just because we made this pact..doesn't mean you both get to just fuck up. Y-You both should always come home." Lucifer nods, Mammon kisses his cheek and Levi struggles to hide his tears.

When Levithan leaves the room while closing the door behind him, reality, as he knew it just a few hours ago, wasn't all that different and he can hear Asmo drunkenly cheering as Satan carries him through the door. "Hey, Levi! Don't hide in your room- you better come join us." He doesn't give his thoughts a chance, heading down the stairs with a small smile. The world hadn't changed, but Levi would be forever.

----------

AHHH THIS HAS BEEN SITTING THE DRAFTS FOREVER I'M SO GLAD I FINISHED IT. Please please let me know if I should make an explanation post of how the pacts would work (it will most likely be headcanons cause I don't know how they work in canon 😪😪)

either way, I really hope you enjoyed the fic as I did writing it! I'm still working on the next part for the Armageddon AU so bear with me 😭

[lofichen]

before I saw this post I felt kinda disappointed because Lucy was really telling the truth and her genuine feelings because come on...from Tim being a pain in her ass to saving her from that barrel and their growing friendship, I knew Lucy had started to develop feelings and as a kid who was raised by therapists she learned to let all her feelings out but she knew that having a different relationship with her T.O would cause ruckus just like with her and Nolan, so she made it as an excuse and just covered it up as a joke. 😕

Lucy was telling nothing but the truth about her feelings for Tim (we all know it) but then she just fucking covered it up in a joke. 😭