#unpleasant to be around
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v-arbellanaris · 2 years ago
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i think the problem (?) is that the only kind of (fictional?) love that interests me is the kind of love that changes the world. the kind of love that derails the narrative, the kind of love that changes everything -- not necessarily by how special or unique the love is but by the very mundanity of it. the love that grows, not in spite of the barren lovelessness of Before, but out of it. i think that's why I'm always so invested in ships that are two people diametrically opposed to each other, or enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, or two people on separate sides of the morality issue coin, because i love it when love... not that it changes a person but it allows the person to Become. the space, the grace, to change. to love the monster, to love the unlovable and the intolerable, is to make it something other than a monster, than unlovable, than intolerable. i love it when being loved at your worst, ugliest, most horrible self is what makes you want to be someone worth loving. like is this ANYTHING to anyone or
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#sorry im not here but im thinkin abt fic things and im really just! having some Emotions about things#idk? i see a lot of aspects of myself in villains. whoever you consider a villain. and i think there's a tendency in fandom#that I've noticed for like... years. where when these issues are portrayed in Good People it's always framed in an acceptable way#if they're angry it's never in a way that really hurts anyone - or everyone Just Knows they're going through shit#if they're depressed it's always the sad pathetic kind that makes people want to coddle you and not the kind that made me isolate and#unpleasant to be around#the urge/inclination towards violence to people who did wrong to me is a villainous act#trauma only ever affects Villains in a bad way. and their trauma MAKES them Bad and Evil people who should only ever just die to fix all#the damage they did to people. and idk man! don't you think that's kind of fucked up? don't you think that it's so fucked up to see yoursel#and the ugliness of your trauma and how it impacts you only ever represented by villains. and then the solution is ''they should just die''#and in the rare moments those villains DO get redemption arcs or a second chance or whatever there's a large n frankly horrific portion#of fandom going i want this person dead or (other violent gruesome violating thing) because they're awful and horrible and their very#existence is unforgivable. i think they should die#and it's like i get it. i also get tired of having to see this message constantly blasted into my brain 24/7?#''why do you ship x with x--'' god i dont fucking know#maybe i want to believe we can get better. that people can change.#maybe i want to believe there's no end point where i have to weigh up the damage ive done to people vs the benefits ive brought and decide#i should die. maybe i want to believe that people are inherently good and want to do good and have the capacity for good!!#that we can do better if only someone believed we could!!#maybe i want to believe we're all worthy of love. of someone who will believe in us. who sees something good in us even when we're at our#worst & most unlovable. maybe i want to believe we can still BE loved after all that! idk leave me alone!!#tbd#i added the image bc its how im feelin rn
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hinamie · 7 months ago
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i'm on an itafushi kick and i am making it everyone else's problem
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caffinatednightmare · 4 months ago
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going to the club might fix her i think!
inspo from @toddellz doodles [STILL BELOW CUT]
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waitineedaname · 4 months ago
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tbh it is incredible how compelling bingge and shen jiu are considering they're characters who ceased to exist as soon as the novel began
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shield-and-saber · 2 months ago
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y'all know that tiktok sound "who are you playing with sweetie?/amanda./ oh! 😰 who are you??/ i'm amanda 👹 i'm six 👹"
that's exactly the vibe that loden is giving me
in the book he is sweet, snarky, bold and brave jedi master who has my entire heart. & in yja he is literally friend shaped
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AND THEN THERE'S THIS DEMON IN THE OFFICIAL ART AND HE GIVES ME NIGHTMARES
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lunarharp · 3 months ago
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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regret-evatorful · 8 months ago
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goodmorning
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popsiclefloss · 1 year ago
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The fact that Impulse is like, consistently the calmest and longest surviving person in JITS and GIGS horror streams is really fun to me. He just goes dead freaking silent and hones in on finding a hiding place. Who has the braincell might be a question, but who has survival instincts is not.
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tangledinink · 1 year ago
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new gemini update was so good as always but I can't stop thinking:
big mama: there's nothing wrong with my sons
splinter: you fucked up two perfectly good kids is what you did. look at blue. he's got an eating disorder
wwhhhattttt? nooo, don't be silly. leo doesn't have an eating disorder.
leo and donnie have eating disorders--
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bonefall · 8 months ago
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ever think about how in tnp bramble is suspicious of hawk until the /moment/ they visit tiger together? and then gets mad at squilf for expressing an opinion he used to agree with?
Actually! The moment Bramble stops being suspicious of Hawkfrost is when he's jealous of Squilf's magical telepathic bond to her sister. It's like spite. It fascinates me that you can read it as though Brambleclaw is being consumed by jealousy, trying to have everything that Squilf does, as though his "hatred" of her is coming from envy.
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keiru-the-worm · 5 months ago
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design swap of these two dumbasses + ship art cause it seems I'm the ONLY unpleasant and folly shipper in this DAMNED PLACE
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feelingtheaster99 · 9 months ago
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I’ve seen like only three minutes of Kipperlily Copperkettle and I already STRONGLY dislike her
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ddarker-dreams · 2 years ago
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scaramouche thinks it should be painfully obvious he's sweet on you.
he doesn't get why you're struggling to pick up on the fact. he does more for you than he would anyone else, human or otherwise. he listens when you speak, doesn't physically recoil when you brush against him, and tones down his insults to a level he thought himself incapable of. you always bemoan his tendency 'to glare at you like you did him wrong somehow', but he swears he isn't glaring. probably. he's just focusing. you have such a knack for theatrics sometimes. seriously, why don't you appreciate how hard he's trying here? he can't recall the last time he put in such substantial effort to get himself in a person's good graces. it's exhausting, not to mention entirely below a being of his caliber. each smile feels tighter than the last when you stubbornly insist on being difficult. adjusting your head to the side when he tries to kiss you, crawling as far away from him as you can on his bed; your belligerence knows no bounds.
when he feels himself threatening to snap, he remembers the many centuries under his belt and ceases bristling. you have no idea, do you? his ability to wait to get what he wants. whether it be the gnosis, or revenge on his wretched creator, he's used to time ticking away for the results he desires.
so even if you don't get it today, tomorrow, or perhaps a decade later, he'll remain undeterred. being immortal makes you nothing if not patient.
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abirddogmoment · 9 months ago
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Thinking critically about the wind
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saturnniidae · 1 month ago
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📂
Hiccup has a fear of deathsongs.
Obviously he doesnt hate them, I dont think he has it in him to genuinely hate a dragon seeing as they're just wild animals playing their part in the food chain, but after almost being killed by a dragon that lures in and borderline brainwashes prey via sound it's hard not to see the similarities.
Part of why he had no moral dilemma or second thoughts about trapping the Melody Island deathsong in that cave at first. It's something that makes him feel deeply guilty because he's meant to be the dragon guy right? A bridge connecting humans and dragons, bringing peace between them, it's hypocritical of him to have this knee-jerk reaction, right?
Anyways so much untapped potential in Hiccup's ptsd surrounding the end of the first movie
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itssofuckingover · 2 months ago
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Okay, look, listen…I know, and I understand that Missy trapping Clara in a dalek, and trying to trick the doctor into killing her was a very naughty thing to do…But it still hurts my feelings to watch her run around on Skaro, kind of scrambling to get away from a ton of daleks as the Doctor takes Clara away to safety.
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