#unloved unwanted etc etc

[lavender-femme]

someday i won’t have to cry myself to sleep. someday i’ll feel warm and loved and wanted and i’ll be wrapped up safely in my beloved’s arms and there won’t be anything worth worrying over. someday i’ll be loved. someday i’ll be seen.

[gayleafpool]

[faaun]

i don't understanddddd

[siphisket]

Ooooh throwback to this watercolor piece from 4 years ago today — this would be a cool piece to redo as a gold foil print someday. I really liked the design but remember being disappointed with the shine/texture of the gold paint I used, so it would probably work way better with a touch up and some foil!

(Video under the cut to show the barely-there metallic shine via shitty camera quality lol)

Please excuse the perpetual shakiness of my hands lol

[phagodyke]

I SEE PEOPLE ON THE FLOOR SLIDE INTO THE SEA CANT STAY HERE ANYMORE WE'RE TURNING INTO FIENDS IF I STAY HERE TROUBLE WILL FIND ME IF I STAY HERE ILL NEVER LEAVE..... ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[creativebrainrot]

im so tired and my brains makin all kinds of bullshit sad tv static noises over tiny shit that literally doesnt matter and its buggin me very much,,

but most of all,,,,

my internets been out for a WEEK i havent seen MAELGWYN IN DAYS,,, THE WITHDRAWAL IS BEGINNING!!!!!

[toomuchdivergentformyneuro]

some things i didn’t realize were my ADHD until fairly recently:

(i’m probably combined type btw)

constantly starting new projects and wanting to do loads of things all at once, and then having loads of unfinished ones all over the place because i get tired of them before i can finish them and have another idea that i want to pursue

binge-reading books or whole book series within a few hours/days and not being able to think or do anything else other than that

being suddenly possessed with the urge to clean my entire room every once a month to a few months and not being able to do anything else other than that in that time when i have that urge, and getting incredibly angry and/or anxious when interrupted

being absolutely depressed, anxious, and having SI and/or SH urges/thoughts just because i’m bored, and nothing being able to solve that boredom no matter what i try to do

feeling rejected/unloved/unwanted in a ton of situations because of the way someone worded something

not being able to follow conversations because i keep getting distracted by my trains of thought, and because i can barely understand the person i’m talking to since i can’t hear what they’re saying

forgetting something i was thinking about/told/etc. as soon as i step into a new room/environment

forgetting literally everything, and learning to make lists, checking everything so many times, and thinking again and again about something to make sure that doesn’t happen

always fidgeting in some way, even when not anxious, and needing some sort of stimuli on in the background

my brain racing 90% of the time (the other 10% is when i’m extremely exhausted and my brain is shutting off/has shut off), even when i’m not anxious, and sometimes getting overwhelmed by that

forgetting something from a few seconds ago, and constantly needing to retrace my steps, whether physically or mentally

becoming really attached to someone new incredibly fast, and then feeling nothing (or not as much at least) for them once i’m adjusted to them

and many more things. i might do a part 2 another time, and just keep adding from there. but it’s incredibly astonishing to me that i only recently figured out these things and found answers for it all.

[double--blind]

(SPOILERS) Ashley, self-esteem, and starvation

So, I adore Ashley. She's this intensely toxic, vicious, cruel, manipulative girl, and her psychology gives me hella brainworms. Andrew's not the only one whose head I wanna crack open and root around lol. She's thrown away the world just to keep her brother by her side, and she'll continue to do worse and worse for the same reason. She's pretty awful! I've been thinking about why, though. How did things get so bad? How did her soul get so dark?

We don't know everything (I'm waiting for those new eps patiently aND CLAWING AT THE WALLS AND FROTHING AT THE MOUTH but whatevs y'know whatevs I'm normal. I'm fine), yet what information we have been given is bumping around my brain like a DVD screensaver on hyperdrive

It's clear from the start that the roots of Ashley's issues lie in her horrible, neglectful upbringing, but it's hinted that even those outside of her family felt the same abt her. I'm lowkey even betting we'll learn later on that she was ostracized by her peers somehow. However, what's most disconcerting, I believe, is how little she was when the results of this alienation are first made apparent to us (bc kids aren't dumb; they notice this stuff oftentimes instinctively, impossibly young, before they even know what it means to be hated), and how devastating the consequences were.

(There's something decidedly childish abt her dream sequence in the "questionable" route—filled with crayon scribbles and rabbit plushies, the metaphors simplistic yet profound—which really hammers in how these sentiments are things that have made a home in her since childhood. Formative subconscious truths.)

Growing up unloved and noticeably unwanted by virtually everyone around her likely left her with a gaping hole in her heart that she'd spend the rest of her life trying to fill. She'd make friends, but she'd always worry that they'd leave her, that they'd betray her, nothing tangible or weighted enough in their connection to trust in its persistence. Why should she expect otherwise? Not even being bound by familial ties ensures affection if her parents are any indication.

Every lesson she'd ever learned had always taught her this: you are easy to abandon. You cannot love and be loved by virtue of your own worth.

You have to rip their affection from their clenched hands if you want it so bad.

This understanding carries with it an undercurrent of degradation, instilling within Ashley a constant, biting inferiority complex which will never fail to be a source of insecurity. She will always be put last. She was difficult to raise, so her parents gave up on raising her. She was difficult to get along with, so her friends gave up on getting along with her.

It's an odd cycle. She's difficult bc she needs to be to get attention, but bc she's difficult, she can't keep it. Not without having whatever fondness she's managed to cultivate within someone fray at the seams, volatile and prone to collapse, bleeding toxicity.

Hence, her relationship w/Andrew.

By being the only reliable constant in her life, caring for her and keeping her company, Andrew essentially became her only source of happiness, and she's since learned not to bother with anyone else. Still, it's dangerous to keep all your eggs in one basket; since he is all she has, she must protect her place in his life with even greater ferocity, which becomes a torturous ordeal when coupled with her damaged self-esteem.

It's apparent in her quarrels with Andrew that she needs constant reassurance that she is wanted in some capacity or perceived in some positive light (getting pouty when Andrew says he's "stuck with her", needing to hear that she's pretty, needing him to "choose her", wanting him to say he loves her back, etc. etc.), yet her insecurity remains, bc unlike her, he's got options. She doesn't think he needs her like she needs him. He's got a gf, their parents love him, her friends love him. Why would he settle for her? What if someone better comes along? Someone she can't scare away?

Wouldn't he just leave her like everyone else?

Even before getting locked in the coffin of their apartment, starvation's been a constant theme in Ashley's life. She's constantly aching for love, and Andrew's the only one who can feed her. When you're forced to fight for a bite to eat or suffer every moment you hunger, you become ravenous—covetous—when faced with food; you don't want the hunger to return, so you lock down the source of your sustenance, wary of its retreat. Ashley's in a permanent state of intense insecurity, always anxious that the love that gives her life will leave her.

Andrew knows Ashley better than anyone else in the world, and it's obvs to everyone and him how desperate Ashley is for him, but I don’t think Andrew has truly, consciously processed the depth of that desperation. It's there buried in his head somewhere no doubt, but rn, he doesn't operate w/the direct awareness that he is everything. He is brother, mother, friend, and soulmate. He is life and love, air and water, everything that is good in the world—everything that there is to justify existence.

It's heartbreaking, in a way, that it's so difficult for Andrew to convince her of his loyalty. This goes further than his tendency to hide his true feelings, bc when push comes to shove, he's at her beck and call. Objectively, he's hers. She doesn't see that bc all she sees is all the ways she can lose him.

So, she gets bratty. She gets pushy, possessive, territorial. Manipulative. Gets under his skin, guilts him to exhaustion, bc she can't see him staying any other way, bc he doesn't get it, bc it works. He bends to her will, for her sake. For now. It's always "for now", bc he'll start slipping away again, and then it'll get worse. She does worse.

Becomes worse.

[furiousgoldfish]

While growing up in an abusive family, a part of me strongly refused to grow up, in fact it's still resisting it. I thought at first, it was because I was taught that I am less and less valuable as I age, but it wasn't only that. It turns out, growing around mostly abusive people, can give you some horrifying notions of what it means to be an adult.

I am going to write down how I perceived adulthood, as an abused kid, because I need to work on it myself, and if there's somebody else feeling this, know that these are not your only option for a future:

All adults are stupid, unkind, boring, bitter, aggressive, obsessed with money, do not understand people around them at all.

All adults have to play specific roles assigned to them and don't step outside of these roles. For instance: mother, grandma, father, aunt, teacher, uncle, neighbour. All roles are restrictive and people can only do whatever is assigned to this role (cleaning, cooking, working a job, going to army, being married, etc)

Adults can't play, be curious, or have fun. Adults have to be focused on their role and stay grumpy, serious, bitter and busy. They don't laugh except when drunk.

Adults are having it tougher than children. They are unloved, uncared for, nobody considers them nice or pretty, nobody wants them around or gives them gifts. Adults are permanently unwanted and undesired everywhere.

Adults have good opinions only of people who are already dead. Everyone alive is constantly being humiliated, shamed and criticized. It's better to be dead.

Adults don't care about children, and only think the worst of children. Adults think children should only exist to work and to be yelled at. Adults are dangerous.

Adults don't care about friendships, loyalty, kindness, courage, bonds, closeness, care, or love. Adults friendships are drinking and smoking in the same room while talking badly about every other person in their life. They don't play, laugh or share things. It's a big game of pretense that the other has it better.

Adults lie and fake everything. They lie about their home life, about what they know, about money. They lie about, and to their children. They tell lies confidently. They make things up if they don't know and then tell those lies as if they're truths. They don't feel guilt if caught lying and instead double down on it.

Adults have money but they can't spend it. They have to keep paying bills and they never have enough money for bills and food. They will buy alcohol and cigarettes though, but they're always stressed about bills. They consider it children's fault.

Adults are endlessly stressed about having to 'feed a family'. This is so bad that they actually end up hating their families. They wish all of their children were dead so they wouldn't have to feed them. They can't seem to stop having children but also hate feeding them. It's like they're forced into it.

Adults have to work constantly. They work their jobs and have to do endless chores when they get home. They have to get up early to do chores and do them late at night. They have to do everything alone, unless they can get a child to do it for them. They can't select not to do it, they have to shift it to someone else to avoid it. Adults have no free time, or hobbies. They have to work at all times and always know what needs to be done.

 Adults have bodies that work less and less. They can't run, climb or jump. They're always having surgeries and can barely walk. Their backs and hips hurt and they complain about the pain every time they need to do anything. They blame the work for this but can't stop working. They're still somehow stronger than children when they want to hurt children, and then they're fully mobile. But at all other times they appear sickly and need stuff done for them.

Adults never get over anything that ever happened to them. They're always victimized by everything that ever happened to them. We the children have to get over things instantly, but they are angry and bitter about the past forever. They hold grudges against family members forever. They freely take things out on other family members. They never forgive or forget or calm down.

Adults are not passionate about anything. Their main priority is looking good in front of others and convincing everyone they're better than they are.

Adults selectively care when someone is crying. If it's someone they don't know, they'll act nice about it. If they know the person they will tell them to shut up and stop annoying them. It's like they fall for strangers tears but see through anyone else's as pretense. I don't understand.

Adults die and then other adults get drunk at their funerals. They say you need to cry but they're only serious for the public part and then go and have parties where they just laugh with everyone. Adults don't care about the dead people but say you're not supposed to say anything bad about them now they're dead. They pretend they cared while the person was alive but they didn't. They obsessively clean and decorate graves just for others not to think they 'didn't care'.

Adults will betray anyone's secrets. Adults will tell other adults whatever you told them in confidence. Adults cannot be trusted with information.

Adults judge and badmouth anyone who doesn't act the way they think people are supposed to act. They will impose their own rules and morals on others and shame anyone who doesn't agree. They insist that everyone needs to follow their assigned family role even though they complain about hating their own. They use the most horrid slurs for people they consider 'bad at their role' and write these people off as parasites and worthless people

Adults all agree children should be obedient, quiet and never want anything or disturb them. They want children only to present them with achievements and work for the rest of time.

Adults have sex but nobody is supposed to say anything about it. It's unclear whether they want to be doing it. If it's a part of a role it doesn't seem like they can say no.

Adults can't be cared for or pampered like children can. Adults do not get candy or chocolate. Adults say it's because children are cute and they're not. Adults are jealous of children. Adults complain about not being cared for.

Adults don't understand how hard children have it and always say being a child is the easiest and best time of life. They seem jealous and tell children to be grateful because it's only going to get worse. I can't imagine surviving worse. They claim their childhood was better than anything they deal with now because food was free and they didn't have to have a job.

Adults have no freedom. They have to stay with family and play their role. They can't survive otherwise. They leech off of each other and hate everyone. They live by imposed rules that force everyone to stay together even if they hate each other. They hate everyone around them. They feel loyal to no one. They bring misery to themselves and people around them and don't feel shame or responsibility for anyone they've hurt or ruined.

Adults don't see others as people with their own inner world. They insist that everyone except them is stupid, shallow, mindless and worthless.

Adults are all cowards who will submit to anyone who is stronger and louder. They'll only fight those who are weaker. They don't care about justice and will happily punish victims in unfair fights. They themselves are bitter and upset if they don't get the justice.

Adults only ever look out for themselves. They don't care about other people. They want money and others to admire them and to serve them. If that is not happening they are angry and bitter at the entire world.

Adults don't see good in other people. They don't see what someone else needs or deserves. They don't care about adventures or magic. They don't have wonder or awe inside of themselves. They don't even look at beautiful things in front of them. They don't care about nature, animals or trees. They don't care about books or knowledge, or reading. They don't care about stories or legends. They don't care about people who suffer so badly they want to die. They judge people for suicide.

They don't care about creating or making something unless it can be sold for money. They don't even tolerate others doing it.

They love no one. Everything they do is a drag and a pain to them and they want to push their work on someone else all the time. They don't care about anything except money and how to get more attention and keep pretenses. They have no true friends or care for anyone. All they have is work, rules and roles they need to act. Their lives are meaningless. Even though they have money they cannot travel or use it for fun or joy. They don't think anyone should be free to do as they want. They have no dignity or honor but pretend they do when in company. They yell but pretend they're victims for 'having to yell'.

They don't care if someone wants to die because of their actions. They don't care for anyone who wants to live differently. People who live differently are worthless and stupid to them. They think they're the only ones who are always right even when they're always wrong.

Adults are convinced that when I grow up this will all make sense and I will grow up to be exactly like them

If you felt as a child, or still do, that these are the truths of adulthood, and something you'll end up becoming, it's not true, and it's mostly just abusers who live their lives in this manner. If this is the only thing you've ever known and seen as a child, adulthood would be terrifying and feel like you'd have to lose your soul in order to become like this.

I'll write another follow-up debunking these and writing what I feel adulthood is right now. It's just definitely not that. And living around people who act like this is normal, is traumatic.

[miley1442111]

the morning of choices (part 11)-a. donaldson

--------------------

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summary: the morning after you and Art sleep together.

(one more part!!!)

pairing: art donaldson x reader, patrick zweig x reader

warnings: angst, eating disorder, fluff, smut (18+), etc.

PART 11 of 12

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Were you really doing this? Yes.

His hands roamed your body as he kissed up and down your neck, his thigh between your legs sending wave after wave of pleasure through your body. "Art," you whined. "I need you."

"You have me baby," he smirked, a beautiful sight. He switch position, lining his cock up with your core. "You ready pretty girl?"

You didn't even get a chance to respond when he bottomed out inside of you. You had to keep yourself back from screaming, by biting his shoulder, which made him let out a low whine.

"So pretty for me," he groaned as he started to move. He hadn't felt this good, this alive, in a long time, and he was not complaining. You felt so good around him, so pretty under him, he could barely think straight. "Fuck, such a good girl."

You could've cum right then and there. With him over you, grabbing the headboard to the point of destruction, he looked so good. Yet he felt even better, his cock pumping in and out of you with determined and steady thrusts, at the perfect speed, and with his fingers touching your clit just right, and the way he kisses you and-

You came with a loud scream, one he tried to mask with a kiss. A sloppy and messy kiss, just like when you two were in college. He'd changed so much, yet so little, it almost made you laugh. Almost.

Anything other than incoherent moans and whines coming from you would be a miracle. He was fucking you so good, saying all the right things, it was perfect.

"There's my good girl, think you can give me one more?" he asked, thrusting in and out of you again, despite the ring of your mixed cum that was forming at the base of his cock and he pumped in and out.

You gave him a lot more and than one.

--------------------

You woke up the next morning, Art’s arms around you. This was what you had wanted for so long, and now that it was coming true, you were scared. What if it didn’t work out? What would happen with Tashi? Were you just going to be the other woman for him?

“Morning beautiful,” he smiled, cupping your cheek as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. 

“Morning,” you swallowed.

Art picked up on the way you were uneasy, and didn’t know what to do. Were you uneasy because of him? Did you regret last night? Was this all a big mistake to you? “What?” He whispered softly, seeing through you as only he could.

“It’s nothing,” you assured him. “I need to get ready for my match.”

“Your match is at 3pm today, it’s 7am Y/n. What’s wrong?” He pushed on as you started to get up and out of bed, pulling on your clothes as you felt that sick feeling of embarrassment creep in. 

“Nothing is wrong Art!” You shouted and walked off into the bathroom, him close behind you.

He grabbed your hands, stopping you from running away again. “Something is clearly wrong. Tell me,” he demanded.

“Do you regret last night?” You asked, anxiety and fear making your voice smaller than usual. You saw his eyes soften and felt his grip on you loosen, then fall altogether, wrapping around your waist instead. 

“Not at all,” he answered truthfully. “Do you?”

“No,” you admitted. “What do we do now?”

“We could do it again ?-” he smirked and you rolled your eyes. 

“Art, seriously. What are we going to do? You’re married, with a child.” 

His face hardened, and he sighed. “I’m not sure what we’re going to do. I do know that I love you, and I’m glad we’re back,” he pressed soft kisses up your neck as you thought it all over. The last time you were with Art, he cheated on you and didn’t tell you for months. The last time you were with Art you felt unwanted and unloved. The last time you were with Art, you weren't even a priority. How would this time be different? “And I promise you this will not be like the last time, you’re my priority, and so is Lily. This is my last season anyway, I’m retiring after the Open.”

You stood there, shocked. “You’re finished after the Open?” 

“Yup,” he nodded, impressed with his hand-work of the small purple bruise on your neck. 

“I guess… that’s good news,” you smiled at him. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you,” he smiled. “What about Patrick?”

“What about Patrick?” 

“He’s in love with you,” he explained. 

“And I’m in love with you, Patrick can fuck off,” you answered and Art laughed. 

“God, you’re perfect,” he chuckled, brushing some of your hair out of  your eyes. 

“What about Tashi?” you asked and his face fell. 

“Tashi doesn’t love me at all and she never did. Yes, we have a lot of business ventures with each other, and we have Lily, so we’ll probably co-own a lot of it, and co-parent Lily-”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait- you’re actually going to get a divorce for me?” 

“Of course I am, I love you,” he smiled, and everything felt very real. He loved you, truthfully. He saw you as you were, scars and all, and he was still here. He knew what you'd done, and he was still here.

He loved you. 

“I love you too.

That was the end of it. 

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[i-never-forgot]

Ah shoot, I know you've talked about the gang's love languages before, but I can't remember Dusknoir and Eliana's specifically— but could I request a little doodle where they're making efforts to show each other they care?

Oh Sofie you know me so well🥺thank you for the serotonin boost!

And now for the needlessly long lore-dump bc I can't help myself:

I did indeed write a post on it, but I only talked about Dusknoir’s love language (which would still stand in this case) and a generic hypothetical hero. He outwardly expresses acts of service, but I feel he would appreciate receiving quality time the most (since he might have some negative memories regarding perceived deceptions messing with words of affirmations plus his low self-esteem or receiving touch bc...you know that man has never experienced an ounce of physical affection, but he learns to appreciate it for reasons below). He feels unwanted and unloveable at his lower moments, so to have Eliana (or Lu or Grovyle/Celebi, too, admittedly) stay close to him even in simple companionable silence helps a lot; to be reassured that they're no longer afraid of him and see him as someone valuable beyond what he can offer with his hands. Play games with him (bc there's no way they wouldn't have board games or smth) or start in-depth conversations/debates/lectures with him, where he can exercise his mind, and he'll be eating out of your hand.

Eliana specifically tends to give gifts the most. She leaves things around for people she cares about, whether it's items they mentioned they needed/general explorer necessities, their favorite berries/gummis/etc, or random objects (flowers/pretty rocks/shells/leaves/etc)/keepsakes/treasures found in dungeons. You know that you've won her favor and affection if you find these sort of things laying only where you would find it, whether it be on your bed or otherwise. She loves spoiling the people she loves; it makes her feel like she's finally offering something of value for them having to "tolerate" her (but she's getting better about her self-worth issues through unending patience from her family).

(She always made sure Treecko ate first while they traveled and gave him the best items, even after they met Old Master Lucario and were in relative safety and security. She inadvertently gave Grovyle her old scarf when they were separated, but when he tried to give it back once she returned to the future, she only kept it long enough to have its wear stitched back up to regift it back to him since she knew how much it had comforted him while she was gone.)

(Once they reconcile, she gifts Dusknoir his Unlucky Sash. She secretly goes to Toxicroak and trades out enough items after she pays to have him requisition it. She doesn't say anything or give it to him directly, but when he finds it in his Treasure Bag he knows - especially since he had been trying to emulate her habit as a show of good will the last several months. It's good that he was alone in the Bluff when he discovered it because he would never be willing to explain to Grovyle or Celebi why he had started blubbering. Just a little. He would sooner die (again) than admit to it, but he was so relieved that he couldn't control himself. He hardly ever takes it off after that, wearing it like a badge of honor - only if it gets dirty or torn, and even then he gets almost unconsolably upset until Eliana reassures him that it can be cleaned/fixed. One time he takes a slashing hit for her and it rips pretty badly. He's almost sick to his stomach about it, but she has the same seamstress mentioned above embroider some Unown runes into it, followed by a symbol unfamiliar to Pokemon from their world; Dusknoir understands the runes where most uneducated in such ancient writing wouldn't, something they had bonded over previously, and it contextualizes the symbol for him without Eliana ever having to say a word. He runs his fingertips over the threads over and over when he's feeling anxious or upset, and especially if he's separated from Eliana for too long.)

Upon receiving love, believe it or not, Eliana's most inclined to crave physical affection. It's an impulse and hunger she's buried deep for many years, as she lacked in it from her childhood (boo her parents for being austere, stuffy jerks only concerned with reputation and status), and it only got worse when she lost her first partner. She closed herself off for the most part for years afterward, and her past romantic endeavors thought her too cold bc she always tended to keep them at arm's length emotionally and physically bc she was afraid of getting hurt again. But Treecko wears down her barriers and she holds him a lot, even when it's unnecessary. Having her memories wiped helped her to work through some of that with Lu, thankfully, and by the time she met Dusknoir and gave him the benefit of a doubt she was far more comfortable bumping into others and giving them head-rubs while she tried to choke down her purrs. Dusknoir indulged in her casual affection far more than he should have, but he was starving for it, too (although he was noticeably stiff and uncertain about receiving it and reciprocating; he only got more back-and-forth once Eliana revealed her identity since he was trying to pull away but couldn't help himself). When they make up Eliana is slow to warm back up to him again, but once she does she's almost always making contact with him somehow, whether it be pressing her flank against him in public, riding on his shoulders, curling around his head, or letting him carry her (although this is usually in a context where she needs it bc she gets flustered easily). She'll also nip at him or slap him with her tail if she's feeling feisty or playful. She loves it most when he pets or scratches her back since she can't always reach the places that itch or stay sore. (She loves it more when they press their foreheads together, in private, usually on the verge of sleep when both of their inhibitions are lowered...but you didn't hear that from me. She feels closest to him that way.)

(The bottom right pic is an old sketch I had so I decided to add it for posterity🥹)

[sweetestpopcorn]

Honestly, I can't forget how much that part of the fandom wants for Rhaenyra's importance in Daemon's life to be reduced. I remember I stumbled upon a post and it literally said "She wasn't that important to him anyway, all we know of their relationship is that she was his niece, his wife and they had two kids together", which left me completely ???? It made me wonder if they took the informations regarding Rhaenyra from the TV tropes site, where they spent paragraphs on Laena and Nettles, but a single line for Rhaenyra.

So - just for a short recap - Rhaenyra was his niece, the first woman he ever asked to marry, the wife he always wanted and choose for himself, mother to three of his children (because hello baby Visenya), his Queen, but to these people she was what? An inconvenience to be pushed aside? Like, I already knew she was hated and people wanted for her to be unloved/unwanted/undesired, but some of these takes really cross a certain line sometimes. It's very strange.

Hi there Anon 🤗

Once again sorry for this huge delay.

Ok so I just have to say how much I love the ""She wasn't that important to him anyway" followed by "all we know of their relationship is that she was his niece, his wife and they had two kids together".

Hum...

Just imagine this situation:

"Hi Paul!"

"Oh, who's this lady here with you?"

"Oh no one especial really, she's my wife of ten years with whom I have two kids with and who I met since she was born. No big deal."

Ok then, so if being from the same family, being married, and having children together is like no big deal and nothing important, can I ask wtf is?

Also this is a complete lie since we know about Rhaenyra and Daemon's relationship with much more details than ANY of his other relationships across all stages of Rhaenyra's life: when she was a child, when she was a teenager, when she was a young woman, and then a grown woman. So if we know nothing about Daemon and Rhaenyra's relationship which spans across all of the Dance, can I be as bold as to ask what great information we have on his other relationships? Ah yes a couple of lines. 'Mazing.

Like once again, write all of the fanfiction you want, have all your "headcanons", but keep it real right now and don't make yourselves seem like you need some medication by pretending Daemyra aren't the main relationship of the Dance and the main characters.

And if I can add for all the confused besties, Daemon's character was specifically created for Rhaenyra. She has existed since GOT, him we have only evidence of having been created post "A Dance with Dragons". There was a Targaryen male we knew she married to have Aegon but he was literally "Targaryen Husband" and nothing else. He was very recently created.

What more do you need? Because I'm a doctor but I cannot prescribe medication.

Regarding any website the only legitimate one concerning the canon asoiaf universe is awoiaf.westeros.org run by Elio and Linda. Yes, it's not perfect, has some missing information (not a lot) and some aspects that need updating and have minor errors, however it is the most completed and accurate one and the only one I would advise anyone to go for regarding information from asoiaf, all others seem to be run either by G*T universe fanboys and girls and by people who lost their way to AO3 and somehow ended up writing a wiki for their imaginary fanfictions.

Oh, Anon, have no doubt that many lines have been crossed when the subject is Rhaenyra and I have seen almost all. The same people calling Rhaegar a pedo🐻 and feeling so sorry for Lyanna being dead silent about Rhaenyra and Daemon and blaming Rhaenyra for seducing Criston - these are canon fans btw, not redacted and this was many years before redacted - people writing about Daemon ab_sing and r__ing Rhaenyra while telling her how the LoVe Of HiS LiFe was Laena, people legit calling her a wh0re, fat, disgusting etc... list goes on and on and on.

I would be shocked but this fandom has taught me better and can we really expect anything from a fandom who calls DANY - I repeated DANY - a r__ist, slaver, racist, etc etc, writing entire f_cking metas about how she's worse than Joffrey? Like the bar is BELLOW the titanic and every sh:t show Hb:tchO puts out there will only lower it.

All the best to you, say no to websites run by people who lost their way over to fanfiction.net and AO3, and yes to the ONLY legitimate asoiaf website.

Also when you talk nonsense and you know a story by fanfiction and metas, stop it and get the books. And maybe some medication. There's support available.

Popcorn out!

PS: This is NOT about redacted. Keep Ryan's fanfiction out of canon discussions.

[kingkatsuki]

So on the topic of Bakugou filling out a dating profile. We all know that he’s going to be very direct about what he’s looking for, of course. But would he be as direct about his identity? At least at first?

I can’t imagine him being too forthcoming about his identity when he’s filling it out. Not to say that he’d lie about who he is, because I definitely don’t think Bakugou would ever lie like that. But I definitely think he’d try his best to skirt around that piece of information.

He’s one of those guys that’ll post photographs of him in a group of people, so you’re wondering which one is actually him. Even trying to zoom in, you can’t really make out any distinguishable features or recognise who he is, outside of his piercing crimson eyes. The selfies he uploads of himself are either taken in a mirror with his cell phone obscuring his face, or with a facemask pulled up and his hoodie hiding his mess of hair while he glares down at the camera.

Bakugou is clear and concise about what he wants on his dating profile, even after edits from Mina and Kirishima to make him seem more approachable (“You can’t put you’re looking to get married, Kats. You’ll scare everyone off—” “But I don’t want people wastin’ my time.”)

It bites at his insecurities when he doesn’t get any responses right away, that deep seated fear about being unloved, not good enough or unwanted begins to boil to the surface and Kirishima has to remind him that he’s being picky too— by swiping by so many potential suitors. Bakugou’s gotta remember that he’s just as fussy, and it’ll make the process that bit more difficult.

Mina tries to encourage him to say yes to more people, to go on dates so he can get a feel for it. But Bakugou isn’t interested in wasting his time, he’s looking for love and he’s determined to find it.

There’s some women that message him for hook ups, or one night stands but he can’t bring himself to do it (even if his cock throbs at the thought), but when you start to message him talking about how you see your future and how you want to fall in love etc. now he’s really throbbing.

And imagine the reveal when you finally find out who he actually is? Like he lets you in?

[redd956]

Commonly Misused/Misjudged Buzzwords! Part One

Lovebombing - An intense display of affection used to manipulate and control someone.

Lovebombing IS NOT excessive flattery, but abuse and manipulation disguised as such . It's not an always intentional move, but often looks like someone spending the early phases of their relationship being overtly affectionate, loving, and over-communicative, then sliding into tactics gaslighting and other kinds of abuse.

They keep their abused on their toes, by being abusive one moment, and giving them the world the next. It leads the victim into a loop of looking back at their relationship, and being blinded by the lovebombed moments.

"She's been so awful to me, but- Last christmas she gave me more presents than I could ever ask for. Maybe she's not that bad."

Lovebombing is a type of Emotional Abuse.

Intrusive Thoughts - Unwanted and involuntary thoughts, disturbing and upsetting to the people who have them. They are usually of violent content, but not always.

Intrusive thoughts are usually mixed up now a days with impulsive thoughts. Pushing a kid into a pool IS NOT an intrusive thought.

They don't look like this either

Cutting your hair for a new look

Making sudden expensive purchases

Peeling off your nail paint

Poking your dog in the face

Play hitting your sibling

Intrusive thoughts can look like

Driving into oncoming traffic

Homicidal thoughts

Suicidal thoughts

That your house WILL absolutely burn down

That someone is watching you

Intrusive thoughts are normal, despite their terrifying quality, but appear more often and can become problematic for people with a myriad of different mental illnesses.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Borderline Personality Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and many others struggle particularly with intrusive thoughts.

Delusional - Holding false beliefs or judgements about reality despite undeniable evidence, usually a mental symptom to a greater condition.

I see a lot of people arguing about this one. It's not ableist to call a Conspiracy Theorist delusional. They are by definition delusional, however...

It's important to take delusions as a symptom of mental health more seriously than we have in the past. Delusions in a psychological context can be terrifying experiences for those who have them. They can range from small disconnections of reality, to grandiose spirals that can lead to hospitalization and endangerment.

(Also delusions can happen to anyone. They can be fueled through stress, alcohol, and even environment. Take for instance Mob Hysteria.)

Commonly known delusions are

Persecutory: Being stalked, being watched, someone's after you, the government is after you, someone's trying to poison you, etc.

Erotomania: Convinced that someone is in love you (often to the dangerous/creepy extent).

Delusion of Grandeur: Believing oneself to be greater and more influential than they are. Believing they're divine. Believing they may have special abilities. Believing they have exceptional talents. Etc.

There's many more kinds. Also, no I don't have a problem with the slang, delulu. It's a playful variation of the word, and is not meant to be taken seriously.

Gaslighting- A manipulation tactic in goal to cause someone to question their perception of reality.

Gaslighting is NOT telling an everyday lie or pranking a friend. It is a serious Emotional/Psychological abuse tactic often used to keep someone within the gaslighter's grasps. I think one of the best examples of gaslighting in media is Mother Gothel in the Disney Rapunzel movie.

She gaslit Rapunzel into believing Gothel to be her only protection from a cruel and predatory world.

Gaslighting is incredibly cruel. One of the most common examples is convince someone that they are insane. Another often seen is convincing someone they are ugly and/or unlovable.

These tactics are to keep the abused insecure, and unfortunately for us, insecure people are easier to keep tied around your finger.

[br1ghtestlight]

because today is @seemoreseymoursbay minor and one-off character day i thought that i would share some of my thoughts and analysis on lily's younger brother ernest lombard. since he is a one-off character from season three and i have thought about him more than ANYBODY else in this fandom and that's a promise lol

he's five years younger than lily and alice got pregnant w/ him after billy returned from the war and they were kinda having a honeymoon 2.0 phase since she was so happy her husband was alive and safe. he was born in 1946

lily was VERY protective of her baby brother. he got picked on a lot by the neighborhood kids bcuz he was nerdy and kinda weak/feminine but because lily was older and not afraid of ANYTHING she would stand up for him against everybody at school and in their neighborhood. very louise and gene vibes in that sense (except lily actually is older than ernest lmao)

only alice and lily (and later bob when was born) called him ernie/uncle ernie. he did NOT like being compared to the sesame street character especially when he was a teenager. HE IS NOT A MUPPET >:(

he was more nerdy and shy/sensitive and kept to himself. not many friends outside of his sister and he mostly spent his childhood reading comic books and playing by himself in his bedroom. his parents were very understanding and supportive of him since they were both pretty progressive for their time in terms of gender roles

he LOVED superhero comics when he was a kid. still a secret passion of his as an adult and he collected them

he was devastated when his older sister moved away from home especially because he was going through his angsty high school years and he really needed her. they still phoned each other and wrote letters everyday and lily would visit when she was able <3

he was gay and it was really tough for him growing up in the 1950s and 60s with homosexuality not even being legalized. his family was as supportive as could possibly be expected for the time period (they didnt disown or abuse him) and lily didn't think any different of him when he told her (but she told him to kinda keep it on the down low for his safety) fortunately he lived in new york city so there was a bit of a community for him

he had a long term boyfriend throughout the 70s and 80s but unfortunately he died from aids/hiv during the crisis :( ernest never got into another relationship after that and that's why he died single with no kids. he also lost a lot of friendships it was really hard. poor guy!!!

never got along w/ big bob as he always felt that he was too cold/unloving/didnt talk enough and that he was stealing ernest's older sister from him (they started dating when ernest was like..... 14 so that teenage angst was expected) big bob would never be good enough for lily in his mind

he moved to new jersey with his bf when they were in their late 20s to be closer to lily & bob which is where he stayed until he died

he LOVED being an uncle and thought bob was so cute and funny and reminded him so much of himself at bob's age. absolutely adored the kid. unfortunately he stopped coming around as much when lily got sick so bob doesn't have too many memories of him :(

lily's death was really hard for him and he basically stopped talking to bob and big bob entirely after she died bcuz the reminder was too painful. bob tried to stay in contact but he was also a teenager so they just kinda..... fell out of touch. they hadn't talked in years when ernest died

he was always very empathetic and understanding towards people seen as different/unwanted by society due to being gay himself so he had a lot of sympathy and always tried to support homeless people drug addicts and the mentally ill etc. our differences do not define us type guy. he volunteered a lot at the homeless shelters after he retired and that's part of why he let chet stay in his storage unit for all those years (although chet actually WAS a seasonal employee at his department store) he felt real deep love and empathy for him </3 also protested the vietnam war with his big sis. very anti-racism compared to what was expected of white people at the time

always very quiet and socially awkward. it is true that bob got a lot of his personality from big bob but he got an equal amount from ernest tbh he just never knew him well enough to realize that about himself

tina also shares a lot of traits w/ ernest and had they known each other when he was alive i think they would have gotten along really well. he would have loved her erotic friend fiction and he actually wrote his own superhero comic fanfiction before that was an actual thing that ppl had a word for

always loved drawing but never very good at it. you could find doodles ALL over his tax stubs and receipts from work

he had a brief dream of becoming a comic book artist and he read all the new peanuts and archie comics when they released. billy would always bring them home from work for him to read

when he died he left pretty much everything he owned (which was.... not very much. he definitely wasn't very financially well-off after they bought out his department store to build the mall) to bob bcuz he was basically the only family that he had that was still alive. he never knew bob had kids but he did know about linda

he died of a heart attack in his 60s and nobody even found his body for a few days. his later years were very lonely

[ex-foster]

I know a few people who are mandated reporters (paramedics) and it really shocks me how little they know about the foster care system.

Some people are so ignorant about the foster care system that it is news to them that North America (and many other nations) no longer have orphanages. Some believe that foster kids are orphans or conflate adoption and foster care.

Many others don't understand that foster care is often considered the "pipeline" to homelessness and sex trafficking. It's very shocking to me that mandated reporters who are supposed to be the "heroes" who rescue trafficked people often are ignorant on the foster care system but also the fact that many of them watch pornography. It is a huge conflict of interest for porn watchers to be the ones that are in the position to respond to sex trafficking victims. (see stories related to the porn hub scandals).

I think as a former foster kid, it's just shocking to discover all the ways in which the entire system is broken. I know paramedics and medical staff who have made rape and pedophilia jokes, and others who mocked patients who were likely victims of sex trafficking. (I used to work in a hospital). I have written a letter to the CEO of the hospital explaining disturbing things I've seen from mandated reporters working there and I received a polite response back validating my concern.

However I find that there truly isn't enough awareness on the issue. Compare the visibility of former foster kids who aged out of care to the visibility of other groups like LGBTQ+ for example. There is several areas in my city which have the rainbow flag and trans flag painted on the sidewalk for SEVERAL blocks. There are pride flags on the windows of shops in my local mall, on the cross walks downtown, Pride murals painted on the sides of buildings, there is pride merchandise at public libraries, gaming events, indie shops, clothing retail, music shops, badges, enamel pins, tote bags, beer cans, key chains, balloons, stuffed animals etc. The LGBT merchandise is almost inescapable.

This group maintains that this form of acceptance is driven by corporate greed ("Rainbow capitalism") and consider the merchandise to be a shallow form of acceptance. But from my perspective at least you guys HAVE visibility. All of this visibility truly does change public perception of LGBT and normalizes and destigmatizes. It can be the ice breaker for conversations on social change and acceptance. It can convince the public to advocate for the minority.

However I find that the public perception of the foster child and youth who aged out of care needs more public attention. We are seen as delinquent, troubled, mentally unstable, social pariahs, and our struggles when we age out of care are poorly understood by the public. People can and do mock the difficulties faced by youth who age out of foster care. Where is our flag? Where are our advocates and allies? Why are "progressives" especially more likely to socially exclude, threaten, and bully us?

For the amount of discourse I see on "terfs" and "swerfs" - why do I see absolutely ZERO discourse on how feminists exclude girls from foster care? I have eyes and I can see that we are exclusively mentioned in the abortion debate. I see when you feminists call us "unloved" and "unwanted". I see when you feminists say things like "being aborted is the better alternative than growing up in foster care". I see you when you accuse pro-lifers of "not caring" about foster kids while simultaneously claiming you also don't care about foster kids.

We could genuinely use grassroots activism in this area yet I barely see anyone interested in this sort of activism (besides those who work in child welfare and social work who are not laymen in these issues). It's actually really annoying dealing with "progressives" because they are so ignorant on this topic that you have to go back to square one and explain the basics on why former foster kids are a vulnerable group.