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ang3lofdivinity · 10 months ago

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Can we have Andrew and Reader have a life after the events of the game (In the Bulletless Decay route)?

Reader would be an exchange student who would have gone to stay with the Graves family, but in the end she ended up being another 'victim' of the game's circumstances.

She would be a type of person who was indifferent to almost everything, cold-blooded, with somewhat sociopathic tendencies but with a kind heart.

Okay, let's do this, after Ashley's murder, Andrew and Reader finally got fake teeth and moved somewhere far away, but with all the recent traumas and along with the fear of being abandoned.

Andrew started to have possessive tendencies, a little clingy, toxic, manipulative towards our 'poor thing' Reader and that would result in them having children in the future, to keep her trapped in the coffin with him.

❝𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐧❞

꒦꒷︶°꒷₊˚ʚɞ˚₊︶꒦˚︶꒷꒦

Relationship(s): (somewhat)yan!andrew x fem!reader

Format: Headcannons + some stories

Genre: ANGST. A bit of fluff?? + Yandere(?)

Warnings: spoilers for tcoaal, yandere themes (toxic behavior, non consensual kisses and such, etc), marking, smoking, swearing, blood, death.

A/n: Ty so much for this first ever request!! Other warnings will be tagged in this post later on, ofc.

Also, fair warning to all of you, my dearest readers; if anyone or yourself is acting like this in real life, please get some professional assistance as this is not healthy. This is a work of fan-fiction. Thank you.

Andrew didn’t know all of this would happen, let alone know he’d meet someone new.

He and his sister had planned to rob their parents after killing that murderer within the woods where Andrew used up all of Ashley’s bullets in her gun!

How (absolutely not) lovely.

For you? You were living somewhat in Elysian.

You were a college student, a pretty good one too, so much so because you got a scholarship to get into the college in the first place, that being a huge achievement since that was hard and not only free!

But then again, you didn’t really have anyone to stay with..

Before Mr and Mrs Graves offered, of course!

Your parents died at a young age, and you learned how to take care of yourself from that age as well.

Yet.. you couldn’t feel anything for them, you felt lack of empathy, you didn’t even shed a real tear at their funeral when you truly wanted to. It’s like something was stopping you from doing so.

You felt crazy and something akin to depersonalization came over you, and it stayed there within you for months, or well your entire life.

You were taken into an orphanage until you became 18, moving somewhere else to start fresh where you became an exchange student.

During your time in the orphanage, you still had school.. and you did that well to the point where you colleges were almost begging you to join.

But you first needed somewhere to stay while you finished your studies.

And thankfully, the Graves gave you the offer to stay with them (which you took).

You’d cook, clean after your own messes, do chores, keep quiet unless it was a severely bad issue, wouldn’t be around during their.. ‘personal playful time’, and pay them for staying there.

In return, they kept you fed, helped you with clothes (specifically Mrs Graves), and the most important of all; let you stay there and finish your studies.

You worked some extra jobs outside of college to pay for the Graves and to continue your studies, etc.

You usually slept on the couch or at the table from studying, not like you got much sleep at all since you practically overworked yourself.

Speaking of college, you didn’t have many friends because of your “weird behavior”.

I’m talking about the fact had a lack of empathy for others including yourself.

You were impulsive, like you always bought something without a second thought.

You lied a lot, about not even doing the assignments that day- that you cared for them.

You were a bit manipulative, using people to get your way.

You ignored most rights and feelings of others, never caring about how uncomfortable they got with your behavior.

And the cherry on top, you were aggressive with most people, yelling at someone to get away from you because they were ‘threatening’ you.

All factors of your sociopathic tendencies and personality.

You had started going to therapy to try and fix that, and it somewhat worked..

Keyword: somewhat.

You found out that you had a much more.. softer side, so to speak.

There wasn’t much you could do about your sociopathic tendencies but to mask them while constantly trying to get better.

And you did just that.

Cutting to the chase here though, you were out for the day getting some ingredients for some cookies for you along with Mr and Mrs Graves.

And if you had any extras, you’d give some other people within the neighborhood.

You got all of your items, went to the register and payed for all of it before packing them all into bags and leaving.

The store wasn’t too far from the Graves house, so you would just walk to and from the store.

One your way though, an odd sense of apprehension took over you.

It.. was just super weird.

You had to stop for a few seconds on your walk and just, shudder.

And this wasn’t normal.

You pressed on nonetheless, making it to the house.

When you unlocked the door, taking out your key and opening the door all the way- you saw Mrs Graves on the couch in deep thought.

However, the atmosphere was palpable.

Something wasn’t right.

“Good evening, Mrs Graves.”

She didn’t respond, only looking up at you in pure fear.

“Dad??” Someone called from kitchen.

..Dad? What. Do you sound that much like a man????

Mrs Graves slowly got up as a perplexed look came across your face, going into the kitchen.

She said something you couldn’t hear before she approached you

“(___)..” she started, obviously nervous about the person calling out from the kitchen.

Before you knew it, two people walked out of the kitchen.

One was a woman with cherry blossom pink eyes, the same as Mr Graves. She wears a black top together with a visible black brassière, light grey shorts, and a yellow pendant hanging from a black choker. Her hair is uncombed and tied at the back in a ponytail.

Then the other was a man with emerald green eyes like that of Mrs Graves (just darker) who was pale-skinned with black uncombed hair, like the woman’s and a black, slightly over-sized jumper with light grey ripped pants.

“..meet my two children, Ashley and Andrew.”

Safe to say you were genuinely so shocked

“..Good evening. I’m (___), it’s a pleasure to meet you.” You spoke solemnly, a blank look on your face.

“Nice to meet you too..” the male suddenly spoke as he looked somewhat.. stunned and mesmerized by who knows what.

“What he said.” The girl rolled her eyes inconspicuously (or at least tried to), but you saw it. You always managed to catch onto small things like that.

From then on, it was somewhat.. odd living with the two newcomers.

You crashed over at a close friend’s house for a while as Mrs Graves tried to figure everything out, but a little bit after that Andrew gave you.. small little gestures here and there, like he was asking for you to stay.

And sometimes you did.

On those times, he would try talking to you after a lot of awkward silence in between you both.

“..(___), right?” Andrew quietly asked you, looking over at you.

“..Mhm.” You managed to utter back as you refused to meet his eyes as eye contact wasn’t.. all that comfortable.

“You.. go to college, what profession are you working on?”

“Law. I’m thinking about becoming a lawyer of some kind” you quickly replied back.

“Mm..”

“Let me guess, you were a psychology major?”

“How did you-“ He stuttered over his words, baffled by yours.

“You just seem like that kinda person to be interested in that major” you calmly stated. With the way he’s speaking in dulcet tone strikes you as a part of it, another part being some of his body language.

You two had a long staring contest before Andrew spoke again for the both of you.

“I’m pretty fond of you..”

“Any particular reason why?..”

“You’re kinda like… somewhat the opposite of my sister” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“Don’t like her all that much?” You raised an eyebrow.

“It’s- not that..”

“What is it then?”

“..We’ve only had each other for.. so long. As long as I can remember. My- our mom forced me to take care of Ashley when I was 7 because she had me when she was 15 and felt like I was able to take of a 5 year old Ashley. That,, didn’t go well. Shes attached to me at the hip and I can’t get rid of her now.”

“Maybe try. Point out every little thing shes doing that makes you uncomfortable, tell her how shes made it feel like what it is shes doing normal when it’s not.”

You returned to slowly eat your food while Andrew just, stared.

“..Thank you” he suddenly spoke as you gave a small nod.

Tapping your foot for a few seconds as you pondered about what to say next, you sighed softly and turned your head to him.

“Want some?..” you motioned to your food.

He, although astounded by the request, accepted.

He didn’t even bother grabbing another fork and just ate from yours..

Ew.

Moving on from this however, you two bonded over a lot of things you thought you probably never would.

Interests (mainly him liking things that you liked), personalities, dislikes, likes, etc.

And due to this, you started hanging out more with each other!

And his sister obviously showed that she didn’t like you because of that.

“Oops” she’d say as she spilled over your drink, ate your food even after when you caught her multiple times and told her to stop, dropping anything she had in her hands onto you, it was just.. sucky of her.

And whenever you tried anything even defending yourself, she went crying to Andrew!!

“I’m sorry.” He would mumble to you and give you a hug for his sisters acts while she stared daggers at you.

This went on for a while until one night—

“Get up” a harsh voice echoed quietly as you were violently shook from your slumber. You had passed out after studying for hours on end for your exam next afternoon.

The room was filled with a scent of blood, and the food you all had from earlier. The zephyr wafting inside from the window.

“Mmm…?” You drowsily groaned- given you’d just woke up you still felt incredibly tired, wiping the drool away from your mouth and looking around as a hand grabbed onto the back of your scalp and slammed it down onto the wooden table, creating a loud thud as you winced in response out of pure surprise.

You wanted to yell, scream, fight back. But, with the moonlight shining through the curtains of the windows and illuminating your surroundings, you saw Ashley leaning forward into your vision a bit more, holding a gun.

Your breath hitched as you chewed your bottom lip as you waited for Ashley said something else.

“I didn’t say to speak, dumbass. Keep fucking quiet.” The girl groaned as you heard footsteps approaching.

“Ashley!! I told you not to touch her! You have already taken our parents lives— but not hers. You can’t, Ashley.” Andrew’s familiar voice echoed throughout the kitchen, sounding demanding.

“Oh? So she matters more than me now? YOU CARE MORE ABOUT HER?” She started raising her voice, almost loud enough to alarm the neighbors as he slapped a hand over her mouth to shut her up.

“KEEP YOUR FUCKING VOICE DOWN.” He whispered yelled as he furrowed his brows together. She pried off his hand with a furious look, gritting her teeth together.

“Oh, don’t wanna admit it, huh? WELL FUCK YOU!” Ashley got closer to Andrew than anyone would be comfortable with as she pointed the gun at him.

“.. damn, crazy bitch.” You whispered to yourself and giggled, before you even knew it she had the gun pointed at you next.

And she got close to pulling the trigger before—

Blood.

Theres blood everywhere.

Andrew had killed his sister with the cleaver he had been clutching in his hands so tight that his knuckles turned white.

You didn’t even know what to say anymore..

Well.

“..what did you both do to Mr and Mrs Graves?” The question slipped past your lips even though it wasn’t the moment to be talking about any of this when someone in-front of you has been murdered.

“It’s.. nothing”

“Andrew- what did you do?” You asked, adamant on prying out an answer from him.

“…”

No answer.

Who knew that this little encounter would lead to both you and Andrew cleaning up the body of his dead sister.

But, nonetheless, he took a shower to clean up from the blood that splattered all over as you turned to washing both of your piles of clothes within the washer and dryer.

No sign of Mr or Mrs Graves at all.

You laid out some clothes from him from Mr Graves; A baggy sweater, some baggy light grey pants, some really old converse shoes you’d thought he’d fit in.

Surprisingly, they did!

Huh.

Like Father like Son. You guess

Being that those shoes are when Mr Graves was just a teen to young adult.

Nonetheless, you two decide to have a conversation about.. what to do now.

Which was… off putting.

“I can pay for most of the house bills. I have a job after all… though- I would have to find out how to get the police to believe that the Graves gave the house to me.” You spoke. Hands resting one over the other in your lap.

Andrew was in front of you while you were seated on the couch, your head felt.. dizzy about everything that he and his now.. non-available sister did.

The Graves weren’t the best, but they weren’t the worse while you knew them. So why?..

He told you everything about them that happened in his childhood, and you just… felt a bit disgusted.

“We could just.. move into a less expensive place.”

“True. Until I graduate, of course. Then I could get us into a much bigger and nicer house.” You chimed in, a faint small on your face.

“I can also help you get a job, Andrew”

He seemed.. surprised.

“I can also see if I can get you back into college. I can truly believable story about why you dropped out.”

Andrew stayed silent before he slowly dipped his head down low.

“Why.. are you helping me so much?”

A quiet gasp left your mouth, your lips agape as you fidgeting with your fingers. You paused to take a moment to yourself.

“..I feel bad for you. You deserve much more than this world offers.”

Safe to say he cried a bit. Thanking you profusely.

He also told you a bit about having to dump the bones of Mr and Mrs Graves, along with Ashley.

So you went just as the sun was beginning to rise, and chucked the bags out into the lake, with the three skulls.

The two of you then just… sat in the car for a bit, processing what you two just did.

“Ready?..”

“..not really but just,, go ahead…”

The car then drove off, you hugging your knees as you stared out the window.

And that’s when the two of you started bonding more and moved in together!!

Of course, the police got into contact with you more than once about the deaths of Mr and Mrs Graves, and you told them you knew nothing as you tried to make yourself seem sadder than you were about the situation.

Nonetheless, living with Andrew in the apartment you bought wasn’t too bad.

You quickly graduated your college, now getting a job as a lawyer.

Andrew himself got a job somewhere, thankfully well paying.

You two managed to move shortly after you both were doing well enough on money as he expressed that he wanted to go back to college, to learn psychology!

You didn’t see any harm in that, and decided to help him pay for the expenses.

Maybe you shouldn’t have though.

Eventually, during your time together, he’d start commenting on some of the outfits you wore.

“..That looks a bit too short”

“The color doesn’t match you”

“It exposes.. maybe a bit too much”

You of course questioned further why he was acting like this when he wasn’t even dating you, making him reply; “I’m just.. worried about you”

So you shrugged it off.

Then the gifts started.

Romantic ones.

Flowers you loved, stuffed animals, jewelry you liked, etc.

You found it.. admiring.

Andrew started getting more touchy too.

Even if you didn’t want it.

He apologized for that of course, before going back to touch you more.

This was all before he proposed the idea that you two should start dating.

Of course, for mainly appearance looks.

But you didn’t know the truth, nor the mistake you’ve made.

It only took a little more time before Andrew started getting more and more possessive over you.

He would always have some form of physical contact with you, started saying you could only go out with him, until it changed you couldn’t go out at all besides for work.

Even then he would secretly have a tracker on you always to make sure you were always where you said you were.

You tried to object to his actions, before he started making excuses for his behavior.

“Do you know how many men would drool over you??”

“I’m just trying to protect you.”

He would then cajole you to place down the subject.

Now while you were at home, he was all handsy with you.

And he was far too good at manipulating you that you would start standing up for yourself.

The final straw was when he got you pregnant.

You sobbed for days, you never wanted children.

You eventually tried to get him out and break up with him.

But he threatened you all too well.

“If you do this, i’ll make sure to ruin everything you have, you wouldn’t want to raise that child all by yourself?” “You wouldn’t live without me.”

So you sucked it up, and couldn’t even get rid of the child either since you were too afraid.

Genuinely afraid.

So.. now you’re trapped with him forever in this rose covered coffin. One where the roses are wilting and have poisonous thorns so you may never leave again.

Woah, this took— much longer than I expected. But, i’m alive!! Ty all for reading and I’ll be sure to try and update more!

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borderlinereminders · 4 months ago

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my friend is telling me that i shouldnt trust my partner because we don't go through each others phones and that it's normal for couples to have a policy that they can go through each others phone freely. do you have something like that with your partner? i ask you because i've seen you talk about the relationship and it seems so healthy from what you've said

My husband and I have each other's phone passwords, but we don't use them to go through each other's phones. There are times when I need him to use my phone or he needs to use it, or vice versa for whatever reason, and we are able to do that.

But neither he nor I go through each other's phones. Partly because I believe that trust is an important thing for our relationship, and feeling a need to go through would encourage a lot of bad habits and feelings I've worked to recover from.

The main reason though is I believe my friends deserve privacy. They tell me things in confidence, and sometimes they want it to be just between us. And I think that's okay. My relationships with my friends exist outside of my relationship with my husband. We aren't one person.

I don't think people are "wrong" if they have different policies in their relationships, as long as everyone is happy and on the same page and hasn't been coerced or guilted into agreeing. But if it is a thing where you go through each other's conversations, I hope that the people you are talking to know of this. I don't necessarily think it's wrong to do but I think that the friends and people confiding in you have a right to know so they can decide whether to share it with the understanding it might not be just between you and them.

My understanding with my friends is unless they tell me otherwise, it's fair game to tell my husband. And I do keep him updated on my best friend's life because he cares but there has been the odd time she's asked for me not to tell him something for whatever reason, and I respect that. And when he asks what's up and I tell him that it's between her and me, he respects that.

TLDR: We don't have this as a policy, but we trust each other with our passwords and part of that trust is trusting the other not to go through the phone. I think that it's up to a couple what works for them, and your friend doesn't get to tell you that you're doing it wrong or what's "normal."

#april answers #tbh #I think it’s extremely toxic this is so popularly pushed #I see it pushed a lot #I don’t necessarily think someone is toxic #if it’s their own thing in their relationship #and everyone is happy #but I think it’s toxic af to push it on others

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cripplecharacters · 3 months ago

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Hello! I have a question about characters with a facial difference and animal attributes (like, Kemonos).

A story I'm planning has the protagonists coming from our world to one with magic, where the magic usually shows on your body, like someone with light magic having glowing hair and stuff like that.

One of the characters has strabismus. In my original idea, she was going to be an animal shapeshifter, since she studies zoology and likes improv theater; her visual cue would be being a mix and match kemono (like, a rabbit ear, a dog ear, and a lion tail, or something like that). She'd keep the strabismus in all forms.

But I think while scrolling the blog I saw something about disabled people/people with FDs often being likened to animals, so now I'm worried that it might fall into that trope, though it wasn't intended. There will be other characters with FDs who aren't Kemonos (including another main character), and there's other kemonos and characters with animal-based magic who don't have a FD, but if it falls into an uncomfortable trope, I can come up with another magic for her and give the shapeshifting to someone else.

Thank you all so much for all the hard work you're doing on this blog, by the way!

Hi!

This sounds fine to me! Mostly because of a few things:

she isn't originally an animal, and even then only has animalistic attributes;

she chooses to transform into an animal, and the decision is related to her passion rather than “all characters get innate magic and the visibly disabled one just 'happens' to be the sole animalistic one”;

ears and tails are almost* always fair game IMO;

there are other characters with facial differences who aren't associated with animals;

there are other characters without facial differences who are associated with animals!

*- things that are exceptions to that, in my opinion, for future reference if anyone wants it: - rabbits features + cleft lip; - cow features + vitiligo; - rat anything + anything, I actually like rats a lot, but as an animal they gotta stay away from being associated from like 99% of minorities' representation; - “funny animal” + strabismus/drooling/skull conditions, as a rule of thumb: if the character looks like a wojak it's time to stop.

So yeah, I don't see anything wrong with it! It sounds pretty cool.

I'm usually not a fan of animalistic characters with facial differences (unless we are talking about a story where everyone is an animal, that's a completely different thing) because I, and quite a lot of people I know, have been compared to them as part of bullying or a microaggression. For me personally, it was both by people who were intentionally trying to harass me, as well as genuinely well-meaning people who just didn't consider that maybe telling someone his face reminds them of a dog's one is kinda fucked up.

The reason I don't think that's what's going on here is that you seem to be aware of the trope's existence and try to avoid it, along with giving your character actual agency. The magic giving her animal features isn't because of her disability (which is clear based on the fact that there are other characters with one but not the other trait), it's because she as a character likes animals!

I will also say that I'm not really against all kinds of animal-related magic when it comes to characters with facial differences. If there was a Disney princess with septicemia scarring on her whole body who talks with deer, it would go hard as hell. But the 99.9% of animal-related characters with FD I see are more akin to “scary scarred man is likened to a [predatory animal] because he's so scary and has scars, also he's drawn in a collar and half his dialogue tags are animalistic”, thus the blanket “no animal people with FDs please” statement you saw on some of my previous posts.

Hope this helps and explains my reasoning! Good luck with your writing :-)

mod Sasza

#mod sasza #anonymous #face difference #fantasy setting #fantasy tropes

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system-of-a-feather · 7 months ago

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Full Integration, Final Fusion, Functional Multiplicitly, and General "Spirituality"

(Disclaimer: this is a very long post)

Heyyo, this is a bit of a hodgepodge of connected topics that I was thinking on this morning. For those that don't know, after like three months of being a really solid fused whole, we really decided that we needed to redivide back into our core parts to recenter, rebalance, and reorganize ourselves since our fused whole was loosing sight / vision of the "plot". We don't consider this "splitting" because we are still in - what we like to call "full integration" - and we don't really engage in much dissociation when we do this as the means of how we do this largely stems from the way we perceive, engage with, and view the concept of "self" and "identity." Our system highly values the mastery and art of a very fluid and ever changing sense of identity and self. This morning - thank you Chunn brain for batting our collective brain from the usual urge to get out of bed and get started with our day to give us time to really sit with our inner selves - we spent about an hour and a half and a small half hour nap just laying there thinking among ourselves and I wanted to share a few.

I think at the moment I am still mostly a fused whole and I had considered trying to go to Ray or Lin for them to write this, but it didn't feel right to go to Ray brain and Lin brain directly told me "Dude, this thought line started with Riku-dominant fused brain, trying to have someone else write it would be a disservice to the reflection. Let Riku or Riku-dominant fused brain do it, it's their thought." and you know, fair point. I think I'll use this post as a temporary "bye few thoughts" and love letter to our parts as a fused whole before leaving it to the individual specialists to do their things.

So introduction to this post aside, hello and temporary soon to be farewell before I choose to temporarily redivide into my main parts. Today is May 15, 2024 and I'm gonna document this a bit for when I come back whenever that is and kind of see if my fused-whole perspective and nature changes - mostly for myself. Online I go by Feathers, irl I just go by our chosen name.

I'm a (mostly, technically non-denominational independent, but most of my views and perspectives come from and align closely with) Zen Buddhist. I'm nonbinary vaguely transmasc (not really though?) intersex individual with the pronouns of they/them. I am extremely pro-endo and if I honestly felt like sticking around longer, I was thinking about writing a much more nuanced essay on tulpa-terminology discourse with my current reflections as a fused whole and as a pretty avid Buddhist but, unforunately, unless one of my parts still shares the same insight AND interest, that essay will have to wait for me to potentially be back (hey, Riku or Chunn might still want to who knows). I dunno what else to say, I love bird, Bleach, walking, driving, listening to music, video games, writing, art? I dunno man, I'm just me.

Documentation aside anyways, I gotta figure out where I want to start. I think I will actually piss my high-school English teachers off and start with the LAST thing in the title card. I might loose a lot of close minded white anti-endos here, but hey, if you are that close minded, then its your loss cause I'm just talking about late-stage recovery as a person with diagnosed DID that is considered polyfragmented. It's a fun conversation to have with other people with DID aiming for recovery so, if you're hell bent on hating people talking about plurality form a non-DID lens enough to disregard cool information, that's your loss. (Thank you XIV brain, crediting that to you for part of our goal today)

Buddhism, Spirituality, Plurality and Our Perspective of Full Integration

According to Buddhism, and one of the largest concepts and principles of Buddhism that we believe the most in and actively work to practice and cultivate the mindset of - is that the concept of "I" and the concept of a singular, distinct, and separate self from the world and others simply does not exist - only the experience and illusion of experience exists. I was talking about it with @quoigenicfromhell in DMs since they were interested in talking shop about Buddhism.

To save myself a whole effort of rewriting a discussion on how one can hold together the clear sensation of existing and being an individual with the idea and Buddhist understanding that the "self" does not exist, I'm going to copy a little bit of what I wrote in response to them. If it doesn't make sense cause its in a bit of Buddhist jargon, then oh well, I'm lazy, it's written for an audience that has done some reading and looking into Buddhist thought so RIP yall srry not srry (Thank you Chunn brain lol)

Honestly the development and understanding of holding those two things together (the non-self and non-existence with the clear experience of self and existence) is largely a lot of exploration on the understanding and respect for the experience without applying too much value or regard to said experience. Its kind of a hard thing to understand just based off of words alone and like all things Buddhism, its one of those sorts of things you really gotta sit on and explore in your own mental space, but like

The experience of self and personhood and existence is a denied concept in Buddhist thought, but its not a bad or incorrect thing, the experience of self and existence is kind of considered an inherent expression of life and the world and while its important to be cognicent that it is an illusion that can cause suffering and muddy an individuals ability to see Things As They Are, the experience and illusion of self is additionally an entirely natural thing to experience and is an important part of being able to, well, be

I kinda of personally perceive it kind of similarly to say a part in a system. Innately the part is not (at least in my experiences of systemhood) a literal entire separate being and thats an important thing to acknowledge for a number of reasons (life organization and direction, system accountability, etc) but its would also be incredibly foolish to completely ignore that the part operates, experiences themselves, and lives in the world (both inner and outer) as if they were an individual of their own

In the same sense that a part in a system can be seen both as an individual and a part of a whole / collective depending on what perspective and demands the moment needs. An individual can be seen both as the individual expression of a self informed by the arguably incorrect illusion of isolation OR as a part of the whole worlds expression depending on what serves the moment the best. I largely kind of see myself as part of a system that is the world much like I see my parts as part of a system that is "me". While the self may be an illusion, its not an experience that can be denied and it is an innate expression that in its own right can prove to be a great teacher So you deny the concept of a self but respect and revere the experience and innate natural expression of self

With that context in mind, while we do not believe in the concept of self and find that trying to seek out a concrete idea of a singular person and singular self in society is a source of extreme suffering, stress, and displeasure, we DEEPLY revere and honor the expression of self. As we see it, in a complete ideal and impossible the world would be in perfect harmony if we let the world express itself as it naturally does. We find that the experiences of self - in whatever form they take - are inherent and natural expressions of the world as a whole and to try to shape oneself to fit a specific image - may that be societally imposed or internally / personally imposed or a sense of envy or any sort of clinging or desire to a specific version / image of self - is a disrespect to the innate beauty found in the natural expression and a means of adding disharmony into the world.

As a result, our system and whole aims deeply, above almost all else to exist simply as we naturally would in any moment time to time. If we find that something we are doing with our sense of self is drawn and influenced too much on a "I should" or "I want" or "I wish" or "I hope" then we tend to pause, self reflect, and ask if we are actually existing in our natural state, or are we trying to fight against our natural state of self to fit into a self-imposed idea of what we "should be".

As a result of that, our system deeply values our flexibility, fluidity, and ability to change any aspect of ourselves, any opinion we hold, any identity label we consider, and our overall presentation in all ways and forms to a very high level. The desire to be consistent and predictable serves us little in simply practicing on "being" and finding the true and simply-run life that we want. That then results in why our system so casually flips around in system size, fusions, redivisions, how we refer to ourselves, etc. We find very little value in committing to labels and concepts and do whatever is natural for us.

Additionally, another large aspect of Buddhism our system deeply reveres and appreciates is the acknowledgement that there are "Buddhas" - or in less Jargon terms, potential for everything both internal and external to be teachers and guides into finding a sense of peace and simplicity in the world - and that it is deeply important to cultivating peace, happiness, and insight to actively always be seeking out the "Buddha" in everything and everyone. It's important to reflect, engage with, and talk with those "Buddhas" as they are the best and number one way to gain the insight that brings happiness and peace into life and removes excessive suffering and stress.

As many Buddhists agree (at least of the Mahayanan branches), everyone is inherently a Buddha because the world and everything is a Buddha. The only issue people have is that they can not connect, hear, and see clearly enough to be in that state due to a large number of human conditions - one large one being the aforementioned illusion of self.

Having lived my life as someone with DID and having gone through a lot of trauma therapy, self reflection, communication and coordination with my parts, and all that to the point we have reached functional multiplicity over a year plus ago and been able to hold a fully fused state for over three months, I feel like its a given to say that of ALL things in the world, the "Buddha nature" of my parts have been the best and most insightful teachers I've ever had. We revere each other's strengths and specialties greatly as each of us have taught the other great strengths, great understandings, great insights, and great appreciations that have collectively brought us so much peace and happiness. It's not to say any part is "enlightened" because each part is also deeply flawed and struggling in their own realms, but it is largely by working and talking and supporting one another and ACTIVELY looking to one another for insight and lessons about the world and our existence that we are able to reach a uniquely peaceful space.

For us, its an incredibly important practice - both for self care and in the art / spirituality of Buddhism - to regularly talk and engage with these specialized and uniquely-wise (and uniquely stupid - thank you XIV) parts of ourselves to gain deeper insight and overall understanding of ourselves and our place in the world.

In the same sense, it is why - despite being completely capable of operating as a fully fused whole - we regularly choose to INTENTIONALLY redivide into our parts. And no, its not us "splitting again" or even really throwing up any real level of dissociation / dissociative barriers. If anything, we usually do this through meditation and mindfulness.

It's a Buddhist practice, its not a mental disorder and its not stemming from the same mechanism's DID stems from. It might operate *based* on the foundation our history with DID stems from, but at this point in our healing, the way our system operates at functional multiplicity that is intentionally chosen to be that way AFTER reaching "final fusion" has a number of differences from how it operated before we reached general full integration.

Again, for those more familiar with the tulpa-terminology discussion, you might be able to see where I would have a long post delving into a highly nuanced and more middle-ground perspective of that syscourse from the paragraph above this one, but I'm gonna leave that cause I already know this post is long and it would detract from the purpose.

At this point, my system is mostly an "intentionally created one" to Western label standards. We personally do not see any significance or binary in plural VS singular people beyond it being a label some people identify with and not. Plural VS Singular is a false binary perpetuated in white, western, and european society and while I respect that perspective and view in a space that is primarily filled with white, western, and/or european individuals, I am going to firmly state that and expect you to give me that same respect. (and if you refuse to give me that same respect, then you are close minded and being very white / western lmao <- thank you XIV, again)

And so the other related but slightly different topic away from the more philosophical, esoteric, mysticism sounding topic of Buddhism...

Full Integration, Final Fusion, and Functional Multiplicitly

At this point, what we used to call "Wishiwashi Recovery" we kind of have taken to just calling "full integration" generally as a means of really breaking apart the suggested categorical and boxed binary of "final fusion" and "functional multiplicity" as our own experience and discussion with other systems at and near full integration have made us realize that the difference between functional multiplicity and final fusion is FAR more a spectrum than it is two seperate categories. Some systems stick to one end, some to the others, but the largest difference is in external and internal expression of the parts and less any fundamental or biological / clinical difference; at least not in terms of integration. (Note: Integration =/= Fusion; Integration is the general connectivity and accessibility of parts with less / limited / no dissociation)

It's a false binary to say Final Fusion or Functional Multiplicity and its why a lot of the "ones bad and ones good" syscourse is dumb. They're two heads of the same Doduo and they should be kissing. (JOKING, thank you Riku-Aya brain)

With that said, our system, as we've made clear, regularly and freely practices sliding and flying all over that spectrum as just how we like to engage with ourselves. We change between the two as we see fit and having spent probably like 9~ months in functional multiplicity and 3~ months in final fusion I wanted to share some pros and cons of both sides.

I would also like to put a disclaimer that this isn't meant to be "positives and why this side sucks" as much as it is the differences in life style according to our opinion and our experience. Both final fusion and functional multiplicity are absolutely WONDERFUL things overall and we love both states. If we got "stuck" in either, we would still be immensely happy. The purpose of this part is just to share certain differences in how we experience the two different ends. The Cons in these case are only "cons" relative to the "alternative" and not "to not ever reaching either"

Functional Multiplicity Pros:

A lot more clear and direct communication between parts internally that allows for a SHIT ton of internal banter, productive conversation about complex topic and perspectives from unique and diverse perspectives; the communication is a lot more intentional and a lot more in focus so its easier to properly sit and attend to the complex differences and sometimes conflicting directions

It's honestly just a lot of fun, not gonna lie. A lot more dramatic and extravagant expression + brain friends in a more overt sense

Easier to let certain parts of the brain take "breaks" - it's not the same as it is with not-fully-integrated DID but compared to Full Fusion, certain parts of the brain can "tune out" easier than not

More palatable to DID / OSDD spaces online

Easier to focus and use a wide variety of skills, interests, hobbies, and thinking patterns by simply just having a specialist part take their look at it

Generally easier to target specific boxes to look into as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Final Fusion Pros:

Quick and a lot more inherent understanding of all parts on a general gut level without necessarily needing to fully think about everything and listen to every opinion and perspective; there is a lot more of an inherent understanding, trust, and awareness of the collective whole which makes decision making and seeing whats good for the system as a whole a lot easier

It's honestly way more calming, relaxing, and solid feeling. There is a unique sense of confidence, understanding, and trust within yourself and you have a HUGE arsenal of skills and interests that come from the combined parts that you've lived as

You are a lot more present and aware of your life and you actually get to live YOUR life and have all parts of yourself be engaged in life; no part feels really left behind or is caught off guard from having their brain partially turned off. The awareness is really present and engagement is so much more complete.

More palatable in real life and non-DID/OSDD spaces

Easier to simultaneously use skills from multiple parts at once; very much a jack of all trades all at once situation

Generally easier to integrate multiple complex and otherwise seemingly detatched boxes of memory and the past as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Functional Multiplicity Cons:

Takes more intention, focus, and often time to get the same level of full understanding of the whole system when making decisions. It can be slow and it requires a lot more internal engagement which can make it harder to be fully present in life

Sometimes you can get what I call "lite" amnesia where a part was not paying attention and doesn't fully process what was going on / what is going on and so sometimes you get poor attention-driven "amnesia". It's small and easily recovered by simply going "hold up wait" and thinking back or asking another part

Harder to use skills from different parts at the same time; albeit definitely still possible and only "harder" relative to final fusion

Generally harder / requires intentional discussion between parts to integrate multiple complex boxes as you process all the newly accessible memories and information from being highly / fully integrated

Final Fusion Cons:

Less direct and overt bantering and discussion between parts (still present by the way, just less frequent and less overt). It can be a little less fun (still is fun cause they are sill there) and it can be a bit harder to fully see the extent of a more extreme perspective

It can be tiring and overwhelming to be aware and present so much for so long if you were accustomed to the breaks DID / OSDD tends to give parts

Easier to forget to use a lot of the skills and hobbies that may have been more niche to less-dominant and less-prominent parts; you don't "loose" the skills, you just aren't accustomed to using them as much so you can just kinda forget to use them

Harder to focus on a targetted recovered memory / information that you want to process and can sometimes be a bit overwhelming trying to connect a number of things at once

And this is all just to say that both are absolutely astonishing and great places to mentally be. The main point is that - for us - sometimes one state works better for us in the moment and another state works better for us later and that's completely cool cause - as aforementioned - the difference between plural vs singular is not a binary one for us anyways.

Anyways, I don't know how to wrap this up so I'mma just post it

Ideally today we will focus on cultivating our independent parts and return to Functional Multiplicity end of the spectrum so I guess tata for now

-Feathers

EDIT and PS: Anyone is allowed to add their thoughts to this so long it is in good faith.

#feathers speaks #functional mulitplicity #final fusion #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #syscourse #syscourse tw #tulpacourse #tulpacourse tw #full integration #buddhism #long post

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toskarin · 8 months ago

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»GET://NOISE« WORKING WITH RI47 HEAVY INDUSTRIES FOR PROFIT AND UNPROFIT

so, I do feel like I should clarify my actual policy on using my tracks in projects. I do this every now and again, but to be fair, circumstances change pretty often

these aren't blanket licences or anything because honestly a few of these are like... complicated enough that it's literally easier to just talk to someone after the conditions are met and give them permission in writing. in nearly every single case, the first step is "contact me directly and we'll make things work"

if you're working on a project to raise money for Palestinian aid, I am especially interested in working with you. of course, I will be checking to make sure the money is actually going to help the people it's supposed to, as I'm unfortunately aware of how many people are trying to take advantage of these tragedies for their own benefit

a case-by-case reference with slightly more detail is included below

if you want to download Ri47 music to listen to but can't afford it... legally, I care that you pirate my music. personally, never tell me about it. I don't want to see that, I'm not signed to a label that seeks out uses of my music, and I understand that the international economy is in shambles. ideologically, I am pro-piracy. don't do anything that will legally force me to care (using my work in a commercial project without permission, for example) and we'll both keep on living our lives as we were

if you want to remix a Ri47 track and need stems… I don't have the stems either. I'm bad at recordkeeping, tune my samples by ear, and primarily do my own last pass of mixing in audacity. I might have some stems kicking around, but the odds are that I'm as empty-handed as you are. sorry about that lol

if you want to use a Ri47 song in your freeware (read: not for sale) project... that's probably fine. contact me first, not because I'm going to spring a fee on you, but because a few of my songs are already licensed out to projects that make it a little more challenging to hand them out. this is mostly applicable if you're making rpgmaker games you don't intend on selling

if you want to use a Ri47 song in your small-scale commercial project... if you're making a promo video for a stream, need music for a podcast, or anything like that, contact me first. in almost every case, as long as what you're making isn't a persistent standalone work (read: something you are selling directly, with my music as part of the package) the most I'll usually ask is that you buy one copy of the album

if you want to use a Ri47 song in a more serious commercial project... you can contact me directly to get a licence. I usually don't work on royalties unless you are selling a product that I'd consider "reselling" my work (read: an OST album or other primarily audio-based product) and I'm happy to work with people to find a deal that works for them

if you want to use a Ri47 song in a project that is intended to raise funds for a not-for-profit charity, especially in providing aid to Palestine… the freeware conditions apply. let me know about your plans beforehand, because I almost certainly want to be more directly involved, but there are very few cases where I would say no to this sort of thing

if you need original music or sound design done by Ri47... I'm booked out about a year or so in advance, so I can't promise I can actually join a team actively, but this is extremely contextual. if you need some UI sounds or a handful of piano pieces to feature in a project, I'm much more likely to find time for that

if you want me to feature on an album or compilation, whether that be contributing a song or remixing one that you provide… contact me and let's talk. this one's the most complicated conditions-wise, but I don't bite

the bottom line being... I work within all budgets and project scopes. even if you think the answer is no, drop me a line and you might be surprised. if you're unsure, I'll happily help you figure out what exactly you need. it's easier than taxes!

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redwolfstabs · 5 months ago

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hi billy!! saw your post so i gotta ask bc you asked me haha - team loomis hcs?? please? 🩶

OHHH ABSOLUTELY SWEET SWEET SAM

[Note: This post will be with Ghost!Billy and a version where Billy doesn’t die because they’re both delicious to me] [SPECIFICALLY for Parker, Parker will see the vision.]

Team Loomis hcs [survivor version] - for the Sam to my Billy 🩵

Billy has a lot of trust in Sam, as crazy as that is. An example of what I mean would be, let’s say, crazy shit starts happening because someone has figured out Billy really was the murderer in ‘96, he would be honest and open with Sam about it, because he’s worried for her safety, being so close to him. And he trusts her not to tell anyone [unless it’s Tara, which he deems is fair in this circumstance], and he especially trusts her NOT to tell the police.

At First, Billy wasn’t sure how to be a dad. He wasn’t even sure how to be a normal person. But, once he’s figured out what works for them, he’s feeling comfortable and safe being her dad.

Billy is a menace and does it to mess with Sam. Soft Example:

Billy:..what do you say we go bonding? Sam: that depends on your example of bonding. Billy:…I got a new knife, so- Sam:We’re not killing random people! Billy:OH OKAY. You hate me? You want me dead? In jail? You HATE ME?! Sam:..*sighs* you are so dramatic.

He can be a little too protective over Sam, because that’s his daughter and yeah, maybe he got a late start at it, but he wants it to be good. Sam gets a partner? Billy intimidates them, on purpose. His reasoning: he thinks it’s safer before she gets attached and gets hurt, because he doesn’t want her hurt. [If said partner stays even after his intimidation? Bonus points from Billy]

YOU SAID THIS BUT I WANNA REITERATE: they are nonstop bickering. That’s one of the main ways they communicate. Sam says something indirectly about Billy? Billy joins the conversation and it turns into the two of them going back n forth. Billy looks at Sam even slightly weird? Sam calls it out, they bicker. It’s usually playful and it’s fun and games, even if it bothers others around them

Sam has to convince Billy to try and be a dad to Tara as well. Billy initially didn’t want to, nothing against Tara, but he didn’t see a reason because she “wasn’t his the same way Sam was.” But what really helps convince him? Seeing the relationship Sam and Tara have, it makes him want to parent them both.

Sam can get Billy out of his head and vice versa. Assuming there’s no Stu here, Sam learns when Billy goes into his head and gets lost in a maze, and she learns ways to get him out of that maze. If Sam is ever stuck in her own head maze, Billy notices immediately, and helps get her out.

Even though they’re a lot alike and bicker, they never have any actual arguments. If they do, they take time and get some space, and when they come back together again they try and act normal when talking to each other.

Billy would genuinely kill for Sam if she asked.

Sam is prone to seeking validation from Billy, but won’t ask for it. She’ll do something and just go “hey- I did a thing, wanna see?” And of course billy wants to see, he wants to be apart of what she does, and every time he’s prone to letting her know she’s doing good / she’s so cool etc etc

When they FIRST started trying to be Father/Daughter, they both agree to seek therapy, and it did end up working. Now if they’re still in therapy, they sit by each other and treat it as a gossip session

They both constantly try to scare each other, and it gets worse during spooky season. Billy can’t be scared easily, Sam can’t either but it’s a little easier. The one time Billy did manage to scare her, he got a knee to the stomach and decided he would not be scaring her like that again because

Billy: Ow- Sam. Sam I’m in pain. Omg Sam. Sam that hurt. Why would you do that” Sam:..you fucking scared me?? What did you expect? I’ve almost died too many times for this shit. Billy: Ohhh you’ve almost died?? What about me?? I was stabbed and almost shot!” Sam: You sound like a five year old.” Billy: You look like a five year old.” Sam: Okaaaay old man—

Along with the head maze: Billy is very observant with Sam. Constantly watching her and making sure she's alright which helps him when too comes to noticing when she's sick / feeling down. He notices way before Tara, and if Sam finds this concerning that's just for her to know.

If Sam ever gets a pet, Billy is cautious around the pet. Especially any kind of dog. Sam will notice, and will slowly [and in a not too obvious way] get them to like each other.

They are both horrible when it comes to saying how they feel. Especially expressing any kind of words about love. So, Billy will randomly leave notes in areas he knows only Sam will find and see and they say various things like "I'm proud of you", "You're a good kid" etc- and Sam loves and appreciates them alot. In return, she buys him small little gifts like keychains or any nicknacks like that because she knows he'll love them.

Ghost!Billy version of Team Loomis hcs! 🩵

Every time Sam is in danger, Billy is there and watching. [yes, this is slightly canon but I wanna elaborate more.] it’s easier to see him in reflective surfaces, and if Sam gets the chance, he’ll be there guiding her. BUT, if that’s not the case: he talks to her. [example of this from something I’m writing rn for fun ⬇️]

“Saaam..” his voice comes out in a cold singsong way, and Sam shivers on instinct. ‘Kinda busy.. trying not to die here..’ She thinks, a ragged breath leaving her as she looks around, trying to map out her area. “You’re not gonna die..” everytime she hears him but can’t see him, it makes her nervous. Anxious. She always pictured him as something that wasn’t real. Something that her mind created. This? This is starting to disprove that, and it makes her nervous. “You are slacking though- Move. They’re coming down the stairs. You have.. what? A minute? Losing time the more you lay there.. cmooon Sam.”

Billy is prone to messing with Sam, even in this state. He’d constantly knock stuff off her desks, shelves- any flat surface with her stuff really. Imagine an invisible cat, that’s exactly what it is.

Anytime Billy isn’t around, Sam gets wildly concerned. In some ways, she’d be happy. Not having to hear or see him, dealing with his teasing and menace behaviours. But if he isn’t around for more than 32hrs she gets concerned, especially if she’s gotten used to him being around.

Sam constantly asks him his thoughts on things. And it could be about anything. If Sam meets someone new, she’d find ways to ask for Billy’s honest opinion.

This kinda goes with the one previously, but Billy also tells her when she’s near a dangerous person if Sam hasn’t realized it. Being around Ethan? Even if he’s friendly? Billy is there beside her, talking to her, telling her she needs to grab Tara and run. Billy has no proof to show Ethan is an issue, but Sam does feel obligated to listen, knowing Billy is probably correct.

Billy knows that Tara is mostly unaware of his existence, but that doesn’t stop him from trying to get Sam to talk about it. He approves of tara knowing he’s Sam’s dad, but he wants Tara to know more. To know that Billy is There. Sam doesn’t tell Tara for months about it, from being nervous in how Tara would react.

Sam HATES when Billy jump scares her through mirrors, says it’s irritating and annoying and makes him seem childish. Billy keeps doing it, because he is dramatic and playful.

This was very very fun to think of and write and just RAAAGHHHH thank you. I needed these out my HEAD

Let me know if you want more / your thoughts of these <33

#asks #scream headcanons #team Loomis headcanons #team loomis #my fav duo!#billy loomis #scream #scream 1996 #scream 5 #scream 6 #sam carpenter #sam loomis

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psychic-refugee · 3 months ago

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I don’t want to claim that Wenclair as a ship doesn’t exist. Again, I’ve always been a big proponent that fandom is a) supposed to be fun and b) it’s up to interpretation and opinion. The latter makes your ship valid because that’s how you feel. Perhaps it doesn’t make your reasons rational or anchored in canon, but again we go back to a) where it’s supposed to be fun.

I don’t have a problem with Wenclair the ship. I have a problem with Wenclairs the people who have a well-documented history of harassment on non-fandom sites such as Instagram and Twitter of the celebrities in question.

Here are some of the reasons why I don’t specifically see Wenclair/I see a platonic relationship.

Gough and Millar framed Enid and Wednesday as a “sisterhood” and “friendship.” (NME, 24 Dec 2023) This is in DIRECT reaction to being asked about Wenclair. They are the authority of canon as they are the authors of Wednesday and Enid as we know them from this iteration of the Addams Family.

The fact they said its “possible” in the future means Wenclair is not currently true. I also think they were simply being polite and did not want to offend the Wenclairs. Given how badly some react to the possibility of Wenclair not being canon, I don’t blame Gough and Millar for trying to remain neutral about it.

Again, this is Millar and Gough, the true writers and authority of Wednesday.

Secondly, Jenna herself proclaimed no romance. She made an effort in an interview to stress Wednesday had no SO and would have no SO. This is right after joking about Wenclair being a possibility. I believe this is a direct consequence of Wenclairs harassment when they took her words too far and harassed anyone who disagreed with them or threatened the possibility of the ship. (Digital Spy, 8 June 2023)

Emma also wants Wednesday to be single. (Variety, 30 Jan 2023)

There has been no talk, joking or otherwise, of Wenclair being a possibility in almost two years. They in fact seem to be making an effort to not a) talk about it and b) distance themselves from it.

As of this post, none of the cast or writers have done promo for the novel nor have acknowledged it in any way. They also do not follow Meija on socials.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a) they completely avoid mentioning it anymore in interviews, b) stressing no romance, c) Jenna quit Twitter because of what I suspect a Wenclair sending her AI porn. (Entertainment Weekly, 25 Aug 2024), and d) Jenna won’t ever come out with who she’s dating. (Vanity Fair, 6 August 2024)

I think all of this ties into Wenclair harassment. (Tumblr, 29 August 2024)

Thirdly, one of my litmus tests of whether something could be platonic is if you switch out person A with a known family member of Person B.

This would be pretty gross, right? To have a “fizzy” feeling for your father? Not to mention the addition of kissing full on the mouth in such a way, TWICE. To me this is a clear sexual reaction on Wednesday’s part and could not be construed as platonic.

Here, if Morticia had saved Wednesday and had this moment, it could still work. It wouldn’t be weird, so this scene is not necessarily romantic.

I think pretty much every interaction with Enid could be replaced by Morticia or Pugsly, and it wouldn’t make it as off putting as the Tyler example.

Meija could have at any point described Wednesday’s feelings while in Enid’s presence as “fizzy” or anything remotely romantic and they chose not to.

If they meant for it to be romantic regardless, they don’t have the confidence to stand by their work and say it outright.

So, unless it’s Game of Thrones where sibling/family incest is the norm, then seeing Enid and Wednesday as platonic is a fair interpretation.

#wednesday addams #enid sinclair #jenna ortega #emma myers #alfred gough #miles millar #wednesday novelization #tyler galpin #tehlor kay mejia

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thesweetnessofspring · 1 year ago

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Katniss Wants Kisses: Part 5

Drabble series: Katniss is fed up with getting no physical affection from Peeta during their training for the Quarter Quell, so she takes matters into her own hands. Rated T.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Read on ao3

I expect Peeta to hide from me the next day, so I’m surprised when in the early evening, he’s knocking at my front door and asking me to go on a walk with him. I take my father’s jacket with me and head out the door.

The snow has melted and patches of grass have come through. Though it’s warm enough, Peeta’s hands stay securely in his own coat pocket.

“I know you want Haymitch to go into the Quell with you,” Peeta says. I don’t deny it. I can’t lie to Peeta. Not any more than I already had to in the Games. He continues, “And you know that I’m planning on going in there.”

“Peeta–”

“I’m not here to fight with you about that,” he says. “I’ll make my plans, you make yours, and we’ll see what Haymitch decides to do. But what you’re doing–it’s not fair.”

“And what exactly am I doing?” I ask.

“Come on, Katniss. The massage? The kiss? You’re trying to give me hope of what we could be, if I let Haymitch go in and you win. To convince me to stay behind,” Peeta says.

“What?”

What he’s accusing me of is cruel. And after the offense strikes me, I try to imagine how this has been for Peeta. How I played up our romance to save his life before, without him knowing and the hurt when he found out it was for the show. The distance I put between us after the Games and then again after Gale’s whipping. It doesn’t make sense why now I’m longing for Peeta’s touch, Peeta’s kiss, after all of that history, unless I’d returned to the act.

“I’m not doing that,” I say.

“Then what are you doing, Katniss?”

I shrug. I don’t know how to explain it to him. I don’t even quite understand it, just that right now when I’m so scared and worried, he makes me feel warm and good.

We’re quiet as we keep walking. Peeta’s question hangs over us. Why do all I can to have physical contact with him? Why chase after his arms, his kisses? Because now, it doesn’t matter. I only have these few months left. The things I used to worry about that kept me distant–having children, losing them–they won’t ever happen. My guard has dropped, just as Peeta has put his up, suspicious of everything I do.

I’m so stuck in sorting all of this out that I don’t notice where we’re going until blackened faces with olive skin appearing along wrinkled creases start to pass us by. The west mine entrance.

I stop before going any further down the way. “Why are we here?”

But I know. I know that we hadn’t been walking down a random path. Peeta’s brought me here deliberately.

He has a sad smile on his face. “Reminding you that you have a future.”

Gale’s coming down the path–he’s taller than just about anyone else in the whole District and impossible to miss. A future. A future with Gale, he means. I’d made that decision once, but that had been before. Before it would be Peeta’s life or mine.

Peeta turns around, catching my eye and masks the hurt of this whole situation and I want to scream and cry that this isn’t fair. None of it. Not the Quell and not using Gale for him to get his way. Then he walks away, leaving me to be alone with Gale.

“Hey, Catnip,” Gale says when he’s in front of me. A stream of miners step around us as we stare at each other. His gray eyes stand out against the black coal dust on his face.

“Hi,” I say.

I think about last Sunday, how I’d ignored him all evening, not wanting to give Peeta the satisfaction of having his distraction work on me. Now, though, this same distraction has a heavier weight after my conversation with Peeta.

“Walk me home?” Gale asks.

I nod, feeling odd that my fiancé has set me up on a date. To others it would just look like two cousins taking a walk, but I know better. And I know what Peeta is trying to do, what Gale is helping him with.

Gale starts talking, reminiscing about memories of the woods. Finding that patch of strawberries, practicing duck calls, sledding in the winter with a long strip of bark. I laugh along with him at the memories, but it's only an echo of those days so long ago. Days that were both harder and easier than now.

Gale has a spigot outside his house and he starts washing up, though I remember from my father the dust never really comes out the whole way. Once he's cleaned up, he turns to me and says, "Come inside and have dinner with us. My family would like to see you."

If I cross that door and follow Gale in, I'll step for a moment back to the days of two kids trying to survive and save our families.

But those days are gone.

“My family is expecting me," I say.

He gives me a nod and we go our own ways.

It’s completely dark now. I make my way through the Seam, across the town square, and to Victors Village. As I walk up the street, I see that Peeta’s kitchen light is on at the back of his house, so I sneak up the side and around to the back door. I pause, watching through the window as Peeta cleans up dishes, his back turned to me. And for a moment I picture things that could have been. A extra set of dishes, towel in my hand as I dry, ending the day with his arms wrapped around mine.

But we still have time.

I knock on the glass window of the door. Peeta jumps and then sees that it’s me. I wait as he dries his hands on his apron and heads toward the door to let me in. His wide shoulders have slouched and he's frowning as the door opens.

“Katniss,” he says, voice deflated. I can't take his disappointment, so I lean forward, pressing my mouth to his. He hesitates, and I screw my eyes tight, willing him to allow this. It takes a moment before his arms enclose my waist and mine go around his neck, scrunching my shoulders up to pull him into me. I want to taste more of him, feel his heartbeat against my chest, and never let him go.

He breaks the kiss and while holding me in his arms, looks down at me with a mix of wonder and conflict. I hold my hands together around his neck all the tighter. But something passes over him, smoothing his brow, and then his lips are on mine while he steps back into his house with me and shuts the door.

#everlark #everlark fanfiction #thg fanfiction #katniss wants kisses #one more drabble after this!#plus a bonus peeta pov

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laugtherhyena · 5 months ago

Note

Out of curiosity, Are you able to talk about all the characters in Danganronpa Another and what you do and don't like about them?

And out of curiosity, what is your opinion on the creator?

Be ready for a lot of rambling anon because you just opened the floodgates here.

Ok so first and foremost, I don't really feel much towards Linuj himself? That's sorta of a me thing where i tend to not care much about the creators of stuff i like so you'll never see me go like "wow i love this person they're fucking awesome" or "Goddamn that guy sucks" (unless said creator has done something genuinely awful, in that case obviously I'd dislike them) at most you see me go "that's wild" or complain about writing decisions and that's about it, none of that makes me inclined towards liking or disliking Linuj as a person. Tho as much as i rant about his games i gotta give credit where credit is due, the dude manages to make two whole games prey much all by himself and I respect that honestly.

Onto the opinions on the charcters, I'll just be doing the Dra folks because it's been years since i last went through Sdra2 and since I don't like that game nearly as much as a the first one i feel like whatever I've got to say about the characters would be really shallow in comparison to the first game's cast and that's like,, not fair? In my head?So yeah, sorry Sdra2 fans, maybe some other time.

Kiyoka Maki

Kiyoka is a character i genuinely love a lot because she feels like the most perfect execution of a first victim character in a Danganronpa type game, so much so that i am genuinely appalled that Linuj just randomly decided to pick her as the first victim like, what?? She fits that role so perfect that it genuinely feels as if she was created with the idea of being the first victim in mind rather than creating the character and only assigning the role later, from her personality, to character traits and even down to her design, everything works so well together that it's insane for me to think that he created the pinnacle of first victim characters pretty much accidentally.

Regardless, the way she was written and inserted into the story never fails to amaze me but i already went into more details about that here so go check that out cuz now i wanna take this time to talk about her as a standalone character instead of just her role in the story.

Because really, Kiyoka is such a funny character! She's just this silly girl that wants to chill out and hang out with her besties but she could also shoot you square in the face from several feet away. That immense discrepancy between her talent and personality is something i always found absolutely hilarious, tho if there's one thing i dislike about her is that i wish Linuj would have explained how she got into spining in the first place? Since it's such an out there talent that Kiyoka herself doesn't even like that I can't help but wonder how that happened. Not in a "the character NEEDED this" way, I'm just genuinely curious and I'd love to know how she got herself into that pickle.

Her interaction with everyone else in the cast are delight too, i love thinking about her and the sunshine trio going around and getting into stupid shenanigans and i think Linuj did a fantastic job writtring her and Ryutaro's relationship, it's a very realistic portrayal of sibling relationship which makes me really sad whenever i think back to ch6.5 and how Ryutaro will never be able to apologize to his sister. Fun fact! The ending segment of that chapter where we see him at Kiyoka's grave was the first time I've ever cried over anything that happened in these games.

Mitsuhiro Higa

Higa is in this weird spot where I don't dislike him but I don't like like him either, it's this limbo area where I'm way too indifferent to actively dislike him so he just exists there and I don't think about him like ever and that's pretty much it.

Seriously, it's hard for me to even think about way to say in terms of likes and dislikes when it comes to him because i just. Don't think about Higa-

One thing that sorta bothers me about him is how Linuj tried to make him a bit "heroic" in that one flashbacks sequence we see in Ch6 that shows how the class was captured. It's just comes out of nowhere and it's so jarring considering not even his FTEs try to paint Higa in a nicer light. It's also really weird to me how Kizuna, the other awful person in a similar vein as Higa, didn't got any of that treatment which is just,, off.

Kizuna Tomori

And speak of the devil! Kizuna Tomori my beloved, they could never make me hate you❤️

I actually got this question about Kizuna specifically a while ago, so go read that post so that I won have to repeat myself here.

Ayame Hatano

Do you guys know Dungeon meshi? Have you ever seen people talk about how they've improved their eating habits or are generally eating and cooking more often because of how much they like Senshi, whose main character traits revolve around proper nutrition and cooking? That's literally me but exercising frequently out of how much i love Ayame.

Honestly? I feel a little embarrassed getting to talk about my liking for her like this because this is a character that's only around for like 1/3 of the game at most? If you count flashbacks scenes and extra materials like the FTEs and the IF chapter. At the end of the day Ayame is by no means an incredibly complex character so I'm not here to ramble about how she's actually really a deep and intricately constructed character and you guys just don't see it because ultimately, she isn't.

The older i get the more i realize that this is the sort of character i tend to gravitate towards in any media i consume. Very rarely do i ever become this attached to characters who are super intricate and complex, let alone main characters, i feel like even simpler characters like Ayame who has pretty normal life in comparison to others from the cast and not a lot of crazy stuff going on in her backstory have things going for that the casual fan may not notice but are absolutely worth looking into.

And it's crazy because i like quite literally everything about Ayame from her character to her design, in fact, it was her design that initially brought my attention to her because Ayame's hair is one of my favorite hairstyles to see in any character design ever (specifically the little spiky parts on the side that stick up a little) so that immediately made me like this character a bit before i even knew anything about the game other than the death order and that it came before Sdra2. And for real, i think Ayame's design is really good, simple yet solid much like the character herself honestly.

While Ayame was always amongst one of my favorites characters from Dra, I was much more into Sdra2 back when i first got into the series so for a good while my liking for her wasn't as imense as it is nowadays, but it was definitely more than i liked any other character in the first game though i could never quite place my finger on why i liked her so damn much. It was only when i got back into the another series years later that i was hit with a wave of emotions as i remembered how much i adored this character and looking into her again with a better understanding of things made me finally piece together what made me love her so dearly. Spoiler alert, it went much beyond my dumb teenage self pointing at the phone screen and going like “she's just like me fr‼️” to the point that nowadays i really don't relate to Ayame as much as i used to back then, i guess a good term to describe her would be a comfort character of mine but that doesn't feel that right to me either? I think this level of attachment to a fictional character goes beyond that like she has a special place in my heart and I think by now I've rewatched Ch2 more than any other person in this fandom-

I think what i love the most about this character is the inherent contrast within her, one so prominent that it goes as far as blending into her sprites and expressions, she appears as a serious and maybe even a little intimidating person upon first impressions with Yuki and while those are indeed parts of her Ayame is also a caring girl with a huge heart she's just a little awkward.

She struggles quite often when it comes to communicating and socializing with her peers but i cannot stress enough just how much Ayame cares for her classmates even though she's not the best at showing that, and don't mean just Akane (though she's by far the person she was the closest to). In the Ch2 post trial we learn that Ayame had actually been affected pretty heavily by the first motive video the cast was given yet she kept it to herself which when taking into account how she wishes for the rest of the class to get along as she's leaving for her execution reads to me as Ayame genuinely caring for the others as well to the point she wanted them to see her as strong so that they could also remain strong amidst the despair, and if that isn't enough to show her care then just look at the fact that this girl went as far as reopening an old wound on her leg, one that brought her so much pain and despair in the past, as a means of apology to all of them in case she managed to win the class trial (+ i personally believe this was also a self inflicted punishment for killing Kizuna since Ayame is well aware that she could have tried to save her instead of leaving her to bleed out with a knife on her neck, but that's more on the interpretation side than in-game implications.)

And this is where the nuance of this character comes in because while Ayame is a good person at heart, and a courageous and determined one at that, she's not beyond being cruel and getting her hands dirty in order to protect those she loves, but amidst this desire there's also a heap of selfishness in her acts that Ayame herself admits in the post trial as being the reason why she didn't just admit she was the killer from the start. She killed to spare Akane's life from an unavoidable execution but at the same time she wasn't free from the urge to take that as a chance to leave hope's peak academy herself and that's just,, ough man i love when characters can be brutal yet kind, selfless and selfish at the same time and i think this conflicting aspect of hers is what truly makes this character special.

So much so that i feel like if you just look at chapter 2’s case purely from a “clean” perspective where Ayame wanted to save Akane and there's not much more to that then you're missing out on the most interesting aspect of both the trial and her character and if that's as deep as most viewers tend to interpret her actions then it's no wonder why she's commonly deemed not very memorable and tends to be reduced to her relationship with Akane.

Yes, what she did was noble and it truly showed just how much she cared for Akane when she was willing to give up her own life and dreams for the future if it meant sparing her from a terrible fate, but you can't just gloss over the fact that at the same time Ayame had the selfish desire to use that as an opportunity to escape, and most importantly in my opinion we shouldn't ignore the fact that this sacrifice came in the form or brutally murdering someone she had the opportunity to try saving. It's just as cruel as it is noble yet simultaneously intertwined with Ayame's own selfish desires and wow! This character makes me unwell❤️

So yeah, in conclusion i like Ayame a whole lot and i wish more people would acknowledge the fact that she's kinda of a little freak too.

Kakeru Yamaguchi

So Kakeru is a weird one, in concept i like him quite a bit! I love the gentle giant archetype and i think the idea of him switching into a more assertive and loud personality in trials is really cool, but much like Kakeru as a whole, that is pretty underutilized and results in a character that could have been so much better than what we actually got in game.

I get the feeling that Linuj didn't really know what to do with Kakeru, he had a handfuls of ideas but there was no proper execution for them and he so he was sorta just,, there for the ride. I think what bothers me the most is how dumb he is in the trials, sure, DR trials aren't at all similar to the real life ones he would have been used to going to due to his talent, but that doesn't excuse the fact that Kakeru is surprisingly dumb in both the trials he's in when he should at least be able to argue and bring more to the table than just be another one of the characters that goes "i don't get it" or says something blantantly wrong for Maeda to refute. + If he smarter than that then maybe he could have been one of the characters to oppose Tsurugi more directly, since he is a lawyer and Kinjo has his "all criminals are scum" mentality. It would have fit well in with the characters and storyline but because Kakeru is such a nothing burger that role ended up being passed to Kinji since he's one of the few smart characters in Dra.

Still, none of that makes me dislike him it's just a little disappointing and ultimately makes him one of the people I don't think about very often but he's still a pretty sweet dude who i think it's pretty silly and funny in his interaction with the others from the cast so yeah, he's neat :]

Kanata Inori

You know, Kanata wasn't a character i originally thought much about but the more i looked into her the more i started loving this character, simultaneously, i felt disapointed of how underutilized she was in the story, but I'll get into that later.

Kanata is just such a sweetheart and you can really feel how much she cares for everyone during her interactions with the cast during the storyline, she's also quite useful in the trials she was in seeing as she was able to perform autopsies and give Yuki information that he probably wouldn't have known otherwise which more often than not ends up being pretty decisive in figuring out who the culprit is. I also really enjoy her backstory and how Ando's kindness in working to save her life despite the borderline nonexistent chances of her making out alive inspired her in such a way that Kanata decided to pursue a medical career so she could bravely save people just like he saved her! They're one of the sweetest family relationships in this series in my opinion so much so i get so sad whenever i rewatch ch6.5 and get to the part where Ando talks about Kanata and how she's an amazing kid :(

Much like Kakeru, the one thing i dislike about this character is that she was ultimately underutilized in the story, but whereas Kakeru's came from the fact that his character is an unorganized mess of ideas, Kanata had things going for her, they just weren't shown through most of the time she was on screen for whatever reason. Seriously, why was she reduced to the emotional character who cries all the time? I get that she's very nice and cares a lot for her classmates but c'mon, she worked at a hospital she should be able to deal with the situation at least a little better instead of bawling her eyes out whenever something bad happened.

Kanata hit a yakuza member on the head in the middle of a gang fight so that she could treat him properly once, she can be fierce and assertive when the situation calls for it, so why did she never do that in the main story?? This is absolutely baffling to me because it genuinely does such a disservice to the character and can end up driving people away from learning more about, like if i wasn't writing for an AU where she was a major character during the time she was alive I don't think i would have looked deeper into this character and learned how incredible she is because the main story made me think of her as just "the emotional one who cries all the time".

I also feel like it was a missed opportunity to not have her being the one who died trying to save the other ch3 victim. Like c'mon, her backstory shows us how she can often put other's safety before her own, that would have fit so well.

Kinji Uehara

Just like Kakeru, he's also a character I don't think much about but that comes from personal preference rather than feeling as if he was underutilized in story. Kinji just isn't the kind of character i tend to pay much mind to and that's ok! I do think he's a pretty interesting character, with his deal with the orphanage and also being the traitor in the game, i also enjoy how he always made his opinions clear to everyone like when he left the group because he didn't agree with Tsurugi's way of going about things and how he stood up against him and called him out in his hypocrisy in the Ch3 post trial.

If there's one thing I don't like about Kinji's is how linuj structured his murder plan, his method are SO violent for a character who had a noble motive and wasn't just some kind of crazy serial killer. Kakeru's make sense, since he was trying to stop him as fast as he could but i just don't understand why he still went on to kill Kanata when he had already killed someone (which was all he needed to do according to his deal with Monokuma), we're never told that Kanata saw it was him who attacked her, so why did ge insist on killing her anyway? Just because he had the plan set already? A plan that was also uncharacteristically brutal for a guy like Kinji. Seriously, when i first spoiled myself of all deaths in this game i got to Ch3 and thought "oh so he's the token crazy serial killer character" and while i was happy that he wasn't that, it's jarring that he got so violent out of nowhere + his breakdown in trial also feels pretty out of character in my eyes.

Haruhiko Kobashikawa

See, Haru is a cool guy, him Satsuki and Teruya (for a good part of the game) are essentially DRA's comedic relief characters and I've always had a big soft spot for those in DR games, when my faves inevitably die really early it's there character's inclusion that keep me watching the rest of the game!.. And then they die and struggle to get myself to watch the final chapters because most of the remaining characters are people I don't care nearly as much for- (thank god Ch5 has Mikako and Teruya survived the whole game)

But the thing is, when it comes to Haru himself I don't actually have much to say about him? He reminds me a lot of Kiyoka in the sense that he's a pretty normal guy for his age with a really out there talent that he's crazy good at. I think where Haruhiko really shines is not in his actions during Ch4 (tho that was amazing too, i can totally see why this is so many people's favorite chapter/case in Dra), but in his interactions with the other character because pretty much every single one of them are just so endearing to watch, regardless he's just being a dumbass or getting into trouble, in fact! I quite enjoy how he's a little hot headed (not sure if that's the right term)? The dude stands his ground and is not afraid of getting into fights if something's bothering him a lot, tho his own shortcomings and paranoia can often get the best out of him and he'll be sorta of an asshole and makes him feel so real to me, like he's just some dumb teen bound to make mistakes in a dangerous situation like the killing game and i really like that.

If i had to think of one thing i dislike about him I'd say is how he was characterized in the Ch6 flashback segment, like, by that point him and Satsuki are a couple right? So why was he trying to hit on the random Kisaragi fundation worker? That's not necessary out of character for him, but it's really weird that he's doing that despite havinya girlfriend of her own (smh Haru, i expected better from you).

Satsuki Iranami

Satsuki isn't a character i talk about a lot but i like her a lot! Not only is she a genuinly funny character who i love seeing her interactions with pretty much anyone in the cast, but i find her relationship with her family and the way she goes about it really interesting. I think anyone who've seen Satsuki's FTEs can tell that her family is insanely abusive, creating an environment of making their kids compete and compare themselves to one another on who's the best clown and treating Satsuki like absolutely garbage since she's considered the worst of them. Hell, I'm pretty sure they only sent her to hope's peak so they could get rid of her since she was of age to attend which is just,, damn. This is a fucking awful place to grow up in.

Yet Satsuki herself isn't a sad person nor do we ever see her get really depressed and upset when talking about her family, at most she looks a little sad and, unfortunately, agrees with them that she's the worst of the clows while sticking to not crying or sulking about it, instead she goes on to keep being silly and joking around which has always striked me more as a coping mechanism instead of "Satsuki it's too stupid to realize how terrible her family situation is" because as goofy as she is i do get the feeling that she knows her situation is absolutely awful but doesn't know a great way to cope with it other than what she's already doing.

And this seeing this strange coping mechanism explains so much about the way she acts in the killing game, she keeps joking around even during trials or when faces with murder motives because she just wants to remain happy and tries to see if maybe doing so will lift up the spirits of her classmates as well. Not saying that this is by any means a healthy coping mechanism, like, no, Satsuki girl it's okay to cry and be upset over terrible things, be it her family situation or the killing game, but this is nevertheless the most fascinating aspect of this character to me.

And once you take that into accound, it makes perfect sense why she was choosen to be sorta the "hope beacon" of the cast in Ch4 because really, that's just what Satsuki's Been doing the whole game. Tho i do wish this aspect was given more of a spotlight even in Ch4 itself because on first watch (without going through her FTEs) it felt a little jarring to me how Satsuki "randomly" became really important, but i consider that more of a nippick in comparison to other things I've complained about here.

Yamato Kisaragi

Oh right, this guy! He exists in the same indifference limbo as Higa but only because I don't think about him that often (so much so i forget he exists sometimes) because whenever i do think about him he gets violently pushed onto the active dislike section. Which is really funny to me considering Yamato is the perfect and super cool genius guy of the first another game, and that's a big point on my lack of care for him. The game insists in telling us how awesome Yamato is, how all of his classmates like him and how much of a hero he was for try to save them both in the Ch6 flashback and in the IF chapter, and i think that's exactly what made me feel such insane annoyance/repulse towards this character to the point that I'll see him and just groan and roll my eyes.

He's a character the story actively wants us to like but he's just so bland and generic that this push just annoys me and i feel nothing towards him as a person, the fact that we barely see him be himself in the game doesn't help either since he died almost as soon as he's introduced and all we have are flashbacks, the other character's opinions/memories of the guy and his Ai version. And even when we do see Kisaragi be himself in the IF chapter, his role there is like,, textbook generic anime nice guy protag and i just feel?? Insane???

His bland ass is like a piece of wet cardboard to me that i see people point at and act like it's the coolest thing ever and i just look down at it in my hands and think, i don't get it. I don't see it.

And don't even get me started on how Linuj fucking side lined Mikako's role and character in favor of giving this guy the spotlight by having him come in as if he's the goddamn saving grace of the killing game and solve all the mysteries that were set and build up BY ANOTHER CHARACTER, because nooooooooooo we can't have Mikako do that, it has to be Kisaragi because he's THE. GUY. EVER. ISN'T HE JUST SO FUCKING AMAZING EVERYONE????????

This makes me. Genuinely so mad and since I'd rather not pop a vein while raging as i write this go look at this post if you wanted to see me ramble a little more on this part.

Wow, after this it's tricky for me to even think of a positive to say, uhm.. I guess his relationship with Mikako is nice? I do like how it genuinely seems like they care a lot for one another tho sometimes this care can come off the wrong way and lead to arguments between the two, like how Yamato was avoiding and being rude to Mikako during that flashback sequence i keep mentioning over and over even tho she could tell there was something wrong with him and just wanted to help. They're sweet and tragic when thinking about how they met their ends but I can't feel much on that regard seeing how many,, feelings. I have towards Yamato.

Mikako Kurokawa

You know i feel like we as a fandom don't talk enough about the horror that Mikako goes through during the killing game. She never lost her memories, she remembers these people being friends and having strong bonds with other another and she's just forced to sit there and watch as they forget everything and murder each other without knowing of what she knows, and if Mikako does as much as try to say a few words regarding what she knows her head already starts splitting into two and she'll have headaches so bad they'll make her pass out and puke blood. And that's without counting the fact that she's left completely in the dark about her brother's whereabouts through most of the game and when she does reunite with him is in the worst way possible because Yamato’s mental state is even worse than hers and he dies not long after with her being blamed for his murder. She had the worst time ever in that game and i feel like it really isn't an understatement to say she suffered through the whole thing.

And that's where Mikako's spirit really shines because despite all the pain she went through, both physical and mental, she always held onto hope and wanted to help her friends even if her options were incredibly limited. She cared for each and every single one of them to the point she even wanted to try and save Yuki and Akane even though she knew they were the masterminds because she thought that with their memories erased they could embrace hope as well and come out of that as better people, and in her very last moments she still wished to help the remaining characters and kept talking even though she knew it would kill her. That's such an insane level of courage and determination from her part that it never fails to impress me.

She's such an insane character I can't help but feel like we were robbed when she died, especially when it happened before she could unravel all the mysteries Mikako had help build up through the entirety of the game and instead we get her amazing and so cool brother doing that and getting all the spotlight instead of Mikako herself.. How nice.

But i think what bothers me the most about her death is that it was so?? Unnecessary?? Like, what did it do for her character arc? It feels like she died more because Linuj wanted her to die than because it felt fitting for the character’s journey to end where it did, and you can't tell me it wouldn't have been awesome to see her in Sdra2 and how she'd react learning that her shitty mother was one of the reason why that second killing game happened in the first place.

I explained my thoughts on Mikako's death in a nicer manner in this other post so please go check that out because I will never not be upset over her death in this game, especially when her execution ends in a way that she would have survived if she wasn't already dead by the time started.. that just felt like an unnecessary fuck you from Linuj’s part-

Akane Taira

Another character I've rambled about in the past and so don't feel like reiterating it all here (this post is getting REALLY long), so yeah, check it out but tldr, I think Akane is a really cool character and i think writing her so frequently in -2+2 has made me not only get a better understanding of her character but also like her a lot more too!

Yuki Maeda

As y'all know, Dra Yuki>>>>>>>>Sdra2 Yuki always and forever in my heart ❤️

Seriously, for someone who tends to really not give a fuck about the protagonists in DR games it genuinely surprised me how much i grew to enjoy Dra Yuki after i went through the game's full translation and realized “Woah! He isn't the same universal punching back as the Sdra2 one!” Because prior to that i was under the impression that both Yuki acted and were treated the exact same by the game's storyline and as you can probably tell I don't like Sdra2 Yuki all that much.

Dra Yuki differs because not only does the game not try to force the horrors upon him constantly but he feels very human in his actions, he's just some guy not the embodiment of good or a hope hype man so he's bound to get a little sick of this shit sometimes and make mistakes. We see this during Ch4 in his argument with Akane and also in Ch2 where he decides to break the groups trust by reading the secret note anyway which later comes back to bite him when the cast finds out, and this really stood out to me and made him instantly more interesting than other protags in my eyes, although I'm pretty sure this nuance of his character was done as a way to foreshadow his reveal as Utsuro/The mastermind.

Either ways, it ended up creating one of my favorite protags of any DR type game + i do really like the twist of the protagonists being the mastermind at the end of the day, it was something super unique by the time Dra first came out and it's still something i haven't seen be done in any other fangan (tho to be fair I don't look much into those anymore nowadays-)

It's hard for me to pick something i dislike about him since he's overall just a neat guy in my eyes but if i had to pull something I'd say he constantly taking Tsurugi's side feels kinda annoying at times? Sometimes it feels like he just glosses over some of the nasty stuff Kinjo says, like when he questioned why the group for kicking out Kinjo in Ch3 as if he hadn't just told Akane to kill herself right after she saw her best friend be grinded into minced meat. Like okay buddy i get that you see good in Kinjo and you wanna help him, but he really deserves to get a good slap in the face sometimes and the others are rightfully mad at him.

Utsuro

Not much to say here honestly, i feel like i like the idea of Utsuro and what he brings to the table in terms of world building, how his presence and powers affect the others around him and even the story itself. The idea of someone with insane luck powers he can't control that made his life miserable since he could achive literally anything with no effort and everyone he met only wanted to exploit said powers which led to him falling into the despair ideology since by that point it was the one thing that made him feel something it's just so,, wow man, thats some crazy angst and such an unique way to explore the borderline magical luck that exist in the DR franchise.

I love thinking about him in that vein but as a character?.. Erh, i really don't care nor think much about Utsuro at all. Which in a way, i suppose isn't all that different from how the world saw him in universe? How ironic.

Teruya Otori

By far my favorite out of the survious though I'm not sure how to explain why i like Teruya so much? I feel like part of it comes from the soft spot for comedic relief characters i talked about earlier and the rest from the way he was written in the story.

It's crazy because i feel like Teruya's writing in itself really highlights the changes in the way Linuj viewed and went about characters by the time he started working on Sdra2, i feel like if Teruya was a character that originated from that game he would be portrayed as a bad person who you shouldn't sympathize for even though he has his reasonings for acting the way he does sometimes, sorta like how Linuj tends to punish Hibiki even tho she was the bigger victim at the end of the way.

Just like Haruhiko he feels very real to me and his character arc through Dra has gotta be one of my favorites. Teruya is not a bad person, he's a good kid at heart but the severity of the situation they're in and the stuff that gets forced upon him gets to him a lot which leads to Teruya lashing out at his friends and doing some pretty bad things here and there, yet he's never portrayed as an awful person that shouldn't be forgiven or shit and he does change for the better at the end of the day. He went through a lot and came out bigger and stronger on the other side and is a shame this kind of character arc isn't properly used in Sdra2 since Linuj's mentality became so black and white out of nowhere.

I love this little guy, I'm so glad he survived the killing game though unfortunately the same can't be said for the second one but honestly? Teruya's entire role in that story was such a mess, and sometimes even a detriment to his character in my opinion, that nowadays I can't even feel that sad over his death anymore. While there are a handful of things that bother me a lot about it, like the amnesia plot just because Linuj seems to hate actually building up to things in that game and his entire role in ch4 (seriously. What was that. Why.), i think what i dislike the most is the fact that he ended up being permadead while Rei escaped the killing game fine.

I know Linuj actually gave a good explanation to why it happened (unlike Mikako's barely explained sudden brain explosion), but still, it feels like such a mean thing to do to someone who's been through so much and still tried his hardest while being in a dangerous and unpredictable situation. My guy was done dirty in that game.

Rei Mekaru and Tsurugi Kinjo

Grouping these two together because i feel like my opinions on both of them are not only pretty much the same but they also stem from the same place, so yeah-

Don't get me wrong, these two are very interesting characters and I'd argue they're one of the more complex ones in the cast as well, not only because they make it through both games but also because of their own personal backgrounds and how that shaky upbringing affected the kind of person they became as they grew older. With Tsurugi living under his father's black and white ideologies of criminals being deserving of death no matter what and falling deeper and deeper into that the more friends he loses during his life and Rei being abandoned (albeit unintentionally?) by her parents at an young age which led to her working hard to get where she's at now which not only made her quite used to being on her own but also loathe those who "take the easy" way and want all awnsers handed to them on a silver platter, which explains why she's so rude to the rest of the cast since she wants them to figure out stuff on their own too.

There's a lot to look into these characters and it makes sense why so many people like them a lot, I'm however not the biggest fan of this type of character (tho i feel like that lies more in their personality than anything else?) so i never looked much into them before i started writing DRA -2+2 and decided to look into everyone in the cast to get a better grip on their characters. And man, writing these two really did give me a newfound appreciation and love for them! They're such fun characters to write and have interacting with the rest of the cast. Tho i wouldn't by any means say i have a proper understanding of them, i feel like that's a bit out of my league still.

If there's one thing I'm not a big fan if is that i wish we would have seen more of those two in Sdra2 instead of them just having a major role in Ch6, AKA; the messiest chapter in this entire series. Like, would it have hurt that badly to not have the Void theather segments and instead cut to small scenes at the Kisaragi foundation showing what the characters are doing and how they're reacting and planing to go about interfering with Mikado's killing game? I feel like that would have been so much more interesting than watching Emma bother Hajime with bad puns while Nikei and Iroha continue being the same assholes they've always been + it would have made Tsurugi's backwards development less of a shock to see whenever Ch6 actually rolls around.

Anyways, to wrap up this massive post here's what i hope will be the definitive Carol Dra cast tierlist

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mookymilksims · 7 months ago

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I was struggling with how to respond to blackswan, and you said it all so perfectly! Thank you so much.

I want say this in general because the drama is done and we aren't ever going to get a response here.

Firstly, thank you for saying that, while I never look to represent anyone, it is a relief to know that I wasn't the only one thinking it.

I've wonder why simsecret is such an environment recently, and then I realized that the simblr community space is a PR warzone.

People, in general, are afraid to speak up, afraid to speak their minds, for fear of losing notes, being canceled, receiving anon hate.

There's a bizarre and unspoken rule here that you need to do everything publicly in a very calculated manner and it incentivizes people to not be themselves and think about how other's will perceive them more. Then you consider that a good chunk of people in this community are not very good people, so who's rules are we even playing by?

I've been hearing from a lot of new and old simmers who state that this space is very depressing for them because they felt lonely and anxiety when attempting to interact with each other. Anxiety when posting their gameplay. Anxiety when asking questions to other simblrs. Anxiety when reacting to other people's post.

Tumblr was made to connect with people. So why is simblr causing so much anxiety and pushing people who want to connect and interact and speak up; into silence?

Then spaces like Simsecret start to make a little more sense. It seems to be a rebellion to the atmosphere here in simblr. Same can be said for the anon feature here on tumblr.

When people are having an easier time connecting on FB, Reddit, and Discord than tumblr, despite being mutuals here it's safe to say there is a root problem in this space.

I think this whole situation reveals a bigger problem with simblr in general, that just hasn't really been addressed.

I want to offer some solutions here that are pretty simple so I hope no one takes this as being condescending:

If you really like someone's blog, don't even look at their notes. Heart it. Send them a direct ask off of anon and talk about what you love about their content.

Reblog their content, again, don't look at the notes, if you like it and it makes you happy, and you want it on your page, reblog it.

DM simblrs, I mean is this a stretch? Just reach out and say hello. If you want to befriend them, be the first to extend that olive branch. The worst they can say is no or not respond, that's not that bad.

Real life topics such as queer-phobia, racism, sexism, etc will always rear it's head into any space with humans in it. You bring your biases with you. If you see someone express very harmful views, speak up. This doesn't mean or have to mean you or that person is getting canceled. These could easily be teachable moments, and even healthy dialogue. Unless you literally studied and work in sociopolitical fields and are an active activist, the vibe should be to not expect anyone to know everything. These ideals are so deeply engrained into us from a young age, it wouldn't be fair to expect each and every person to know exactly how these complex super structural systems work.

Tell jokes sometimes, I'd love to know what sense of humor you guys have, we get memes like once in a blue moon. Let's try to not make this space so serious, it has everyone on edge.

There is so much beautiful art work and content in general right here on tumblr but I've heard simblrs express anxiety with reblogging that because they don't want to lose followers by posting non sims content. I literally love the rest of tumblr for the very reason that I can translate that work back into my game. And I just thought someone's photography or drawing or story was so good I wanted to see it on my blog.

I mean bouncing off the previous one, why don't we interact with the rest of tumblr? That would be dope.

And this shouldn't even be regulated to the rest of tumblr, I'd love to engage with more ts1, ts2, and ts4 simmers as well.

I mean I think I've made my point, because I can keep going with this. I don't think this is going to fix sim secret or the need for simmers like blackswan to dirty delete. I'm actually very disappointed in that whole situation because she could've received a lot of support but she dug herself into a deeper hole after her actions. I'm sad for her and sad that this situation was flipped into drama and not that black simmers in general are tired of the micro aggressions. Which is a way more serious message. But people are afraid to speak up. So I guess everyone active in this community will keep going around and around in this cycle. I certainly intend to KEEP applying the solutions I've outlined above, anyone feel free to join me.

#simblr #ts3 simblr

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ophernelia · 6 months ago

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There’s so many people that follow me and have no idea what I do lmao. Not to mention it’s a lot of new people here too, so lemme do an updated introduction!

Helloooooo, I’m Brooklyn! I’m director and artist. I do both traditional art and 3D art. Recently I’ve started making poorly made free cc for TS4 that you can find over on @kiricheu. I post updates on stuff I’m working on here sometimes, but most stuff you’ll see on this blog is for my machinima series, Lykaia. Every single character you see on my page (that I’ve made ofc) is from said series. Most cc I post on Kiricheu is stuff I’ve just made for the series also. I’ve played TS4 for years (since it came out actually. and the sims in general too. My first game was TS2) but since I’ve started my series creating it is the only way I play really. Everything we do over here we do for Lykaia, girl. Go watch it.

Content stuff done, now onto personal stuff! I’m an Afro-Latina who can’t speak Spanish well. (Yes. I am a disappointment lmfao) I’m from Chicago. (Southside baby <3) I’m a research psychologist. I love my job. Proud member of the APA. I’ve lived a thousand different lives already so sometimes I’ll talk about old stuff I used to do. Like modeling, fashion stuff. (I was deep in the industry for a while until I left after getting tired of creeps.) Ummm I’m bi, but I currently have a boyfriend. I talk about him sometimes. If you ever see me say “my son” I mean my dog. Don’t want kids ever. Idk what else to put lol. I like to curse. Like a lot. Idk I’m pretty vulgar, but I try to keep it tame on here somewhat. I don’t consider myself a content creator like that. Just a girl sharing the shit she does, so I do talk my fair share of shit if something bothers me. I’m nice generally though. Unless you say something stupid, racist, sexist, etc. Don’t like racists, don’t like bigots, don’t like copycats. It’s tacky behavior and I will check you, with love tho. Sometimes lol. Idk I don’t bite. Unless you want me to. Don’t tell my man I said that either. Oh! I’m also autistic so that’s that lol. Also incredibly awkward. I also like talking about pop culture stuff too sometimes. So you might see a little of that here and there. I am also very vocal about Palestine and the plight of marginalized groups, so you’ll see a lot of that too. Lots of stuff about the black experience and black activism too because offline I’m an activist. I do a lot of community outreach with a few different orgs! (Proud member of the association of black psychologists. <333 Shout out to them specifically.)

And I think that’s it. Maybe idk. Anything else you wanna know then just ask!

#text post #resources #anyway hey y’all lmao #oh and I am also incredibly long winded #I’m very chatty sometimes lol

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lmk-aus-galore · 6 months ago

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Cinema Sins/Wins Rip Off of Lego Monkie Kid.

Yeah yeah I’m back folks, I just decided to take a looong break.

Inspired by @satansaidmyturnintheh3||scape

Rules:

-I won't be counting Animation Mistakes, because Idk how to do that, and I myself am a beginner animator (more like incredibly amateur, to the point I'm asking my sister for help) Unless of course the Animation is obviously and clearly having a mistake for me to watch.(Or it is said in the wiki) The other reason is because I don't want to keep repeating a scene just to check for an animation mistake.

-!This is mostly for entertainment purposes, sorry if I sound too mean!

-I also won't be counting flashbacks as 'mistakes' because most of them are based on bias.

-I'll be formatting it like this

-Neutral

-Sin

-Win

Let’s get started.

——————————————-

-Intro.

._.

-Love how you can see where Mei, Sandy and MK are in this scene.

-On the other hand why does Pigsy have a random game machine beside his shop? I know there are apartment buildings on top of said shop but in Season 2 he actively has authority to remove it.

-Secondly is MK currently on break at the moment or is he just, ‘slacking off’ judging by his clothes he should be currently working.

-Dragon Horse and Stone Monkey.

-Ah yes the underrated trio. Sandy, Mei and MK. Please tell me this group has a name.

-Bad time to call your daughter.

-The way Mei is so nervous to talk to her mother and the way she talks as if her mother doesn’t even give her enough time to explain, like I think Mei’s Mother is cutting her off at times here and it’s not really okay. It feels like Mei is talking to her boss than her Mom.

-Sandy for the win.

-The finishing move is a spin of the staff and a hit to the leg…wow MK.

-I really love how Sandy is just casually friends with these guys. Like these guys just met Sandy a few weeks ago and all of a sudden they said ‘Let’s be friends’

-Ok MK you should really get social cues…or at least let Mei get a word in-

-‘I always wanted to see Mei’s secret Dragon House full of secret Dragon stuff’ makes me wonder why no one believes in the Monkey King stories. Either that or why Mei isn’t being worshipped like a deity by now.

-Also MK, kinda creepy…but to be fair Mei put cameras on all of you…

-BRO THIS BULL CLONE HAS EVERYTHING ON HER?!

-Why does this Bull Clone pull out the same Two Pictures twice?

-Mei doesn’t smile in her photo, along with the rest of her family :(

-In fact she looks kinda restricted.

-Also Key detail, looks like Mei’s little green hair things are dyed!

-PIF confirms that Sha Wujing’s spear and Zhu Bajie’s rake are Celestial Weapons that later tie into Season 4

-We also have the Calabash, PIF’s fan, Wukong’s staff, Nezha’s spear and two of the Samadhi Fire Rings…though I think by this time of development this probably is Nezha’s little ring thingys in his shoes? Not really sure. The only one we don’t know about is the unidentified sword and the random rope.

-Also is she implying that her own fan is a powerful artifact? I guess that makes sense…?

-Why does PIF’s animation always stretch her or squish her I can’t take her seriously XD worse that it’s usually the face.

-Mei wanting to be a normal child is so sad. On the other hand why don’t we have more fanfics of Mei and her family dynamic? Come on people the angst is right there!

-When you think about it, the High-Tech security might’ve been the reason Mei became the ‘Tech Girl’ in the group. Since her family dabbles in High-Technology it’s only obvious she grew curious of that stuff.

-On the other note, what’s with Ancient families and suddenly getting a grasp at handling High-Technology? Like bro Red Son and Mei have so many parallels to each other it’s insane.

-MEI THIS IS WHY YOU DONT LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN.

-You know Red Son you might need to double down in calling Mei a peasant because uhh…wow, the place is huge.

-Mei’s room doesn’t have a door, which shows how shitty these people actually are.

-Also Mei has a lot of rock aesthetic posters, including one with a spider meaning Mei canonically had a rock phase. That or a goth phase so goth Mei is probably canon.

-Why I thought of rock is because of the two sets of guitars she has, one being an electric guitar.

-Mei also has a skateboard indicating she used to skate.

-She has an indoor TV with two game controllers (Why didn’t they just play in her bedroom?)

-And finally she has some things I think her parents would’ve given her such has the pony statue and the meditation carpet on the floor.

-Also apparently she plays the piano? Or is that even a piano?

-The legend of Mei’s sword is kinda cool actually.

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO TOUCH IT?! HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO GETS TO WEILD IT THEN?!

-I have a feeling I know why no one has been able to hold that sword in like…ever (They all look so mean)

-‘You two boot up the old TV!’ What TV? There is literally no TV there? Is there a TV off-screen? Even so where would you put said TV? And again, why not your room?

-MK control your strength- how the hell does that even happen?

-Bull Clone literally just yeeted his hat at him.

-Said Bull Clone took the precious Dragon Sword despite the fact that he was struggling to get it off the statue

-Mei calls her Motorcycle like a horse, get it? Dragon Horse?

-Okay now I don’t blame MK I think that pinball machine is old. BECAUSE HOW DOES THAT JUST HAPPEN?!

-Mei this house should at LEAST take up a whole acre, HOW BIG IS YOUR HOUSE?!

-Mei fixing her bike is while she is chasing the Bull Clone is badass as hell. We do not talk about her enough.

-Pro tip: Never mess with Mei.

-This is why we need to give this family some doubt, okay if literally all her ancestors are dissing her and insulting her to her face because of the way she acts then maybe you shouldn’t turn a blind eye.

-‘You know what I am part of this family! I am Mei! Descendant of the Great Dragon of the West Sea, this is mine! And this is my House!” You go girl, show these guys a what you’re made of!

-A very good take on Mei accepting who she is despite her family’s expectations on her. She’s part of the family but she knows that she needs to stand up for herself. Good bravo.

-IS IT JUST ME OR IS THAT THING BIGGER THAN NORMAL?!

-I wonder what the parents’ reaction was, Holy cow this might’ve been QUITE the sight.

-Yep that Bull Clone is straight up dead.

-MK I think that machine is really just old.

-Lol, Sandy making sure MK doesn’t lose focus.

-‘Somebody forgot our luggage’ then she stares directly at the dad and said dad doesn’t give a damn.

-The fact that Mei has to apologize first before getting praised is messed up as hell. If someone is trying to steal a really powerful relic such as that, then obviously it’s gonna be chaos, but the fact she has to apologize first before they acknowledge she did something good is messed up.

-But to be fair I think they do love Mei, really, but the way they parent just icks me.

-And Mei’s mom sounds like she pulled that whole talk out from google.

-Mei’s dad sounds…familiar hold up-

-KNEW I HEARD THAT VOICE SOMEWHERE. (Also apparently Mei’s mom is the same VA as Mei, so Stephanie Steph is just talking to herself)

-Poor MK…

#lego monkie kid #lmk #monkie kid #lmk mk #mk lmk #lmk qi xiaotian #lmk mei #lmk sandy #lmk mayor

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