#but I think it’s toxic af to push it on others

[borderlinereminders]

my friend is telling me that i shouldnt trust my partner because we don't go through each others phones and that it's normal for couples to have a policy that they can go through each others phone freely. do you have something like that with your partner? i ask you because i've seen you talk about the relationship and it seems so healthy from what you've said

My husband and I have each other's phone passwords, but we don't use them to go through each other's phones. There are times when I need him to use my phone or he needs to use it, or vice versa for whatever reason, and we are able to do that.

But neither he nor I go through each other's phones. Partly because I believe that trust is an important thing for our relationship, and feeling a need to go through would encourage a lot of bad habits and feelings I've worked to recover from.

The main reason though is I believe my friends deserve privacy. They tell me things in confidence, and sometimes they want it to be just between us. And I think that's okay. My relationships with my friends exist outside of my relationship with my husband. We aren't one person.

I don't think people are "wrong" if they have different policies in their relationships, as long as everyone is happy and on the same page and hasn't been coerced or guilted into agreeing. But if it is a thing where you go through each other's conversations, I hope that the people you are talking to know of this. I don't necessarily think it's wrong to do but I think that the friends and people confiding in you have a right to know so they can decide whether to share it with the understanding it might not be just between you and them.

My understanding with my friends is unless they tell me otherwise, it's fair game to tell my husband. And I do keep him updated on my best friend's life because he cares but there has been the odd time she's asked for me not to tell him something for whatever reason, and I respect that. And when he asks what's up and I tell him that it's between her and me, he respects that.

TLDR: We don't have this as a policy, but we trust each other with our passwords and part of that trust is trusting the other not to go through the phone. I think that it's up to a couple what works for them, and your friend doesn't get to tell you that you're doing it wrong or what's "normal."

[monimccoythings]

For Better or Worse

Third part of The Way We Were Saga. This is from Reader's point of view. Getting ready for the fatal encounter, maybe a chapter more.

Word Count: 1547

Tags: angst, past abusive relationship, alcoholism, violence, blood, past toxic relationship, f!reader.

Part I, Part II

Loving someone like Logan was an arduous task. Yet you still gladly did it. Because you knew that under all that brooding, all that snark and anger, laid a vulnerable heart just wishing to be cared for.

It wasn't hard to be attracted to Logan, you just had to take a look at those huge veiny arms, and all common sense went through the window. But to actually fall in love with him, to slowly tear down the walls he had spent centuries meticulously building, was as hard as it was worth it.

You had always loved him with your entire self, you had given your all without complaining. And you knew he loved you as much in return, even if he didn't know who to properly express it.

The day you gave the 'I do' to each other, was actually one of the happiest in your entire life. You had been married to the most wonderful man to ever walk this earth. And you made sure to tell him so, loving the way his cheeks were suddenly tinted pink.

You were the one to encourage him to join the X-Men, knowing that being around people who were like him and could help him understand his gifts would do him so much good. You liked them, from the very beginning they had been nothing but kind to you, despite you being a human. You knew they would take good care of Logan when you couldn't.

Logan was too proud to admit it, but you knew that deep down he appreciated them as well. Even if he refused to go out there dressed up like a 'Mustard clown' as he called his suit. Sometimes, Logan's pride got the best of him and sneaked out from the mansion, just to go out for a drink with his lovely wife.

Then, one day, everything went to hell.

He had run off again to you, trying to act like the though lone wolf he thought he was. They had called him. Several times, but he refused every single one of those calls.

Until the phone stopped ringing.

When he returned, the only thing he found was death. His friends and colleages' corpses, along those of the students were scattered across the entire mansion. He had been too late.

He lost control.

The guilt and self hate drove him into a downward spiral. Each night you stayed awake , with your heart in your throath, waiting for him to come back home covered in blood and reeking of whiskey. Sometimes you had to drive wherever he was passed out and drag his nearly 500 pound body towards your truck until you felt like you were going to pass out. Other times, he disappeared for days, even weeks, only to come back and act like nothing had happenned. Those were the worst, as you silently waited near the radio for some knews saying he had been found dead or something much worse.

You so desperately wanted to help him heal. If only he trusted you like before.

Logan didn't talk to you at all. Whenever you tried to start a conversation with him, he just grunted in dismissal, and if you tried to push your luck and try to help him open up to you he would smash the bottle he was currently holding against the nearest surface, or tear anything with his claws, making you wince.

You knew he would never hurt you.

You dreaded to think that one day there could be a 'yet' following that statement.

Sometimes you thought he blamed you for him being away that night. You could feel it in the way he made love to you, if that could be called making love. It was rough, animalistic, lacking any affection or emotion.

Yet you continued to support and take care of him, because you loved him and knew he was grieving; ignoring the fact of you were also drowning in your own grief, they had also been your friends, your family, and to think they had found such tragic endings made you lose hope on humankind.

But what really tore your heart was watching your husband self destruct. After months, quietly swallowing your own pain and tears, you found your last straw in a stormy at that dive bar on the road.

You begged him to stop hurting himself so much, you cried, screamed, finally letting out those feelings you had been repressing for so long. You couldn't just stand there and watching him destroy himself.

Apparently, that was the last straw for him as well.

When you felt his claws on your neck, you realised this was no longer the man you had married. A stranger had taken his place.

When he left you, in the middle of the rain, you sank to your knees and cried, actually sobbed your heart out. Completely numb to the cold or the dirt that covered your pijamas. You didn't know that your troubles had just begun.

A couple of weeks later you found those two dreaded lines on the pregnancy test. You cried again, cried tears you didn't know you had left, you cried to the point that your own sorrow would swallow you whole. But this time, those feelings of self pity were short lived. There was a growing life inside you, a tiny life who didn't deserve all the misery and hurt you had endured.

A switch had been flipped in you.

You needed to take action.

Back home, your husband's nefarious reputation had broken havoc in your life. You knew what they called you 'The Bride of the Wolverine', 'The Mistress of the Monster', people looked at you with disgust clearly etched into their faces, someone even insulted you when you walked down the street. Back at your hospital, they had decided to lay you off for 'classified circunstances' as they had called. It would be a matter of days before they kicked you out of the apartment too.

Swallowing your pride, you packed up what little you had left and moved to another place, away from all the pain and suffering. Like hell you were going to allow your kid to go through this too.

Your new neighborhood wasn't exactly the Hamptons, but it was discreet and allowed you and your growing belly to pass unnoticed. A rundown clinic at the end of the street was not exactly the job of your dreams, but at least it would pay the bills. Your child would never lack anything, not on your watch.

You worked hard. Harder than you remembered, taking multiple shifts and not stopping until your pregnancy made it impossible for you to move.

It was tiring doing the work of two all by yourself, it was exhausting and you had to admit that having to push in that baby without anyone to hold your hand or give you soothing words of comfort made you feel lonely than ever.

However, the second you were allowed to hold the little bundle that you had taken nearly six hours to push out of your body, whatever remaining grief in your heart dissipated.

She was perfect. Your little Ava. She was so small, so delicate. You knew from the first moment you saw her you'd never let anything harm her, ever.

Ava grew up happily, she was optimistic, curious and joyful. She loved ice cream, fries, animals and Monster High. There were no signs of the mutant gene on her, eventhough it was still to early for it to manifest. Not that you'd love her any less. But the less features she took from Logan, the better. Who knew what those people could if they found out the infamous Wolverine had reproduced.

And who knew what Logan would do if he ever found out. Maybe the Logan you married would had been esctatic, though would try to hide it under his 'cool guy' persona. It didn't matter because, that Logan was long gone and you had serious doubts he'd ever return.

So for nearly ten years you lived in peace. Or what could be considered as peace given your situation.

Still, fate found a way to screw you over. As always.

─────────────────────ⓧ─────────────────────

Blood ran cold in your veins. It was like watching the Ghost of Christmas Past suddenly appear before you.

He looked older, tired even. As if he had finally relieved himself of he huge weight he carried on his shoulders.

Why was he here? How had he found you? What did he want? Your arm shot backwards, trying as best as you could to shield your little girl from the man accross the street, desperately holding onto the hope that he hadn't seen her yet, despite his enhanced senses.

You quickly rushed her in, claiming to have forgotten something back home. You know you both will be late for school and work, but you didn't dare to get out if he was out there patrolling the streets.

As if this door was enough to stop him.

You peek through the window. For a couple of seconds you don't know what to expect. Would he still be there? Would he come after you? Did you want him to? Fortunately for you, he was gone, although that wasn't enough to calm your racing heart, because, deep down, you knew he had seen her. You had seen the way his eyes had slightly widened, the way his nostrils had flared, the way his mouth had opened slightly in disbelief.

He knew.

[maybege]

Drunken Words Are Sober Thoughts - FBI 11

Summary: The birthday celebration continues but the morning after does not look as fun.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Reader

Wordcount: 2.7k | Rating: E (18+ only!)

Warnings: alcohol consumption, hopeless yearning, Josh is annoying af and so are “your” parents

I am not dead and neither is my Hotch obsession, so I am slowly (very slowly!!!) trying to get back into this fic. Let me know what you think, your comments these past months were always an absolute joy to read 🥺

masterlist | crossposted on AO3

You did not know how many cocktails you already had thrown back, each one more colourful than the last.

What had started with a Kiwi Splash had turned into a Sex On The Beach and something else that Emily had pushed into your hand with a grin and a wink. It was hot pink and tasted like sour candy on your tongue. Delicious.

The night went on, the music got louder and you did not know a lot of people in this karaoke bar that the group had chosen but with Penelope and JJ on the dancefloor, you were certainly in good company.

Someone was blaring an offkey rendition of Britney Spears’ Toxic but you could not care less. Your dress was twirling around you, you screamed along with your friends and the rest of the bar for a moment you finally felt like you had found your people. Like you had settled in this strange city away from home with a group of colleagues with whom you had always wanted to fit in.

And how could you not feel welcomed when Penelope threw her arms around your neck and professed her undying love to your dangly earrings?

“Let the birthday girl breathe, Pep,” JJ joked, rocking her hips to the beginning tunes of Get Busy.

“I just think you are beautiful, darling!” Penelope shouted over the music, “Inside and out and you are so lovely and nice and you deserve the best things and I hate to think that you think you don’t deserve the good things this life has to offer you.”

Trying to hide how close her words hit home, you swallowed back the heavy feeling in your chest.

“All right, Garcia,” Emily interjected, taking your blonde friend into her arms, “I think that is enough drinks for tonight. How about we go looking for your hunk somewhere, huh?”

You grinned, pressing a wet kiss to Penelope’s cheek before making your way back to the table the rest of the group was occupying. While drinking all night may be a fun distraction from your usually so boring life, you knew yourself enough to know you needed to drink lots of water if you wanted to function tomorrow.

Though “function” might be too big a word.

The glass of cool tap water – condensation pearling off at the sides – was calling your name and you fought your way through the crowd. It had not seemed this packed with people when you were dancing with your friends but the moment you tried to get to a specific place, your way was blocked by dozens of people just as (if not more) drunk than you.

You were about to squeeze your way between two people (the last hurdle to your table) when they suddenly stepped away from each other. You almost toppled over, squeaking in surprise when your heel got caught in a gap in the creaky floorboards.

It would have made for a nasty fall if it had not been for two strong arms catching you around your waist, gently helping you into your chair.

“There,” Aaron Hotchner's amused smirk greeted you as you looked up, “Drank a little too much, did we?”

“Me?” you asked, finding yourself in the mood to joke, “Never!”

A real, genuine laugh escaped the man before you and you were sure you had never seen anything more beautiful than him laughing. His entire face lit up and the crinkles next to his eyes deepened. You grabbed the fabric of your dress, keeping yourself from tracing the lines of his face with your finger.

Not appropriate, you reminded yourself, So not appropriate.

“Pretty sure you are, though,” he teased back, pushing the glass of water towards you. You smiled in thanks, quickly gulping down a few sips. “You are laughing more than usual, entertaining Reid’s monologues on aviation in the early twentieth century and I am pretty sure,” he looked down between you, “Just like I thought. You are wearing the heels I only ever saw you wear when we celebrated Emily’s birthday at that high-end sushi place.”

“Are – are you drunk profiling me, Agent Hotchner?” you gasped in shock, unable to hide your smile.  

“What happened to Sir?”

Hoping he did not notice the heat spreading through your face, you fiddled with the neckline of your dress, trying to get some air on your body. “Don’t tease me!”

He looked … relaxed. Open. A slow smile spread on his lips as he turned the half-empty glass of scotch in his hand. He was the epitome of confidence and relaxation with how he was leaning back in his chair. You tried to remember the last time you had seen him so … not on edge. No moment came to mind.

You crossed your legs, trying to satiate the pulsing need that had formed in your core. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you tried to remind yourself to not give him anything to read you by. Which seemed impossible considering the man could read you like an open book.

You just hoped you could hide at least a few essential chapters.

The dark-haired man leaned forward then, resulting in his head hovering right next to yours. The proximity was dizzying and intimate and you could not help but breathe him in. He smelled of the scotch and something so masculine it made you daydream about burying your head in the crook of his neck.

 “You sure?” he mumbled, his lips dangerously close to your ear and you audibly gasped for breath, the back of your neck feeling warm as you stared up at him, “Because I have the feeling you rather like me teasing you.” He was so close, looking down at you as his nose almost touched yours and shit you wanted nothing more than to –

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Pen!” you gasped in shock, plastering a big grin on your face in the hopes that she would not see the sheer need written all over your face.

Luckily, your friend seemed to focus on your lack of dancing to notice anything else. She did not even spare a glance at Hotch when he slowly pulled away from you. “Oh, don’t tell me you are getting tired,” she whined, grabbing your hand and dragging you up, “C’mon, let's go back to dancing! Swing those hips, sweetie, we have all night!”

You followed her with a laugh, happy to have the distraction, but not without looking back at Hotch.

And seeing that he still looked at you with a smile.

*

Waking up with a headache was not normally a cause for joy but the morning after your birthday, you still woke up with a smile on your face.

Never in your wildest dreams had you expected the night to turn out the way it did.

The team had shown up with you, not once but twice and even then, continued to make you feel celebrated the entire evening. Hell, Rossi had insisted on covering your tab on the condition that you brought your self-made banana bread to work again. Emily and Derek (and a very drunk Penelope) had sung you the loudest rendition of Happy Birthday you ever heard with Reid and JJ acting as backup dancers/singers.

And Hotch had been the one to see you to your cab when the night had come to an end, making sure you were before nodding at you with a small smile.

A smile that was now on your face as you made your way to the kitchen. You caught a glimpse of the chaos in the living room. Chaos that had not existed when you had left last night. Empty bottles and glasses stacked on top of plates that were not quite as empty and the remnants of the pizzas Josh seemed to have ordered yesterday.

The smell of stale leftovers hung in the air and you hoped that a few slices were left over so you did not have to meal prep for the week.

The kitchen greeted you with much of the same sight and you took a deep breath when you saw your roommate already sitting at the table, a few slices of pizza before him. It wasn’t that you were unhappy to see him, really. You had just hoped to have a few more moments to yourself before being confronted with the events of last night.

“Morning,” he greeted you, chipper as ever.

“Hey,” you greeted back, browsing through the tea drawer. Peppermint? Berries? Earl Grey? You settled on a ginger and lemon brew, hoping that it would help you to wake up.

“That was one hell of a night, huh?”

“It was,” you agreed, “The bar we went to had like three birthday parties at the same time, it was a lot of fun.”

A moment of silence followed and you did not need to look at him to know he did not know what you were talking about. “Oh good,” was what he finally settled on and you closed your eyes, trying to hide your annoyance.

How could it be that the person you had long considered to be your best friend suddenly just … wasn’t the person you knew?

Remembering Derek’s comment from the night before, you decided to take another deep breath and do something you had avoided for a long time: Confront your best friend.

“Josh,” you started carefully, turning around and leaning your hip against the counter, “Can we talk about last night?”

“Sure,” he took another bite of his toast, “What about it?”

“The comment you made in front of my colleagues … That was not okay.”

“What comment?”

For a moment you could feel the doubt creeping up. Was this the right path to go down? Was this worth a conflict with not only your best friend but also your roommate? Was it really as bad as you thought it was? What if he had meant well?

My experience is that the people we need to clarify that about usually don’t care if they mean well or not.

Derek's words echoed in your head and you knew you were right.

“The comment where you implied that I was bad at my job. In front of your friends, my colleagues and my boss,” you recalled, feeling, “That was humiliating and hurtful, Josh.”

A frown formed between his brows. “Why are you so angry? Yeah, so I made a misplaced comment, I am sorry, but didn’t we talk about this already? Besides, it was at a party I organized for you, I think I am allowed to have some leeway here.”

You could feel your eyes bulge out of your head. Was he for real?

“I really appreciate what you were trying to do,” you said calmly, wrapping your hands around the mug and focusing on how the ceramic was warming against your skin, “Really, I do. But did it not occur to you that the only people you invited were your friends?”

“You know them too.”

“I do and they are very nice, I'm sure. But you could have asked if I would have liked someone to join. I left before midnight to celebrate somewhere else with people that I invited.”

He scoffed. “Look, I'm sorry you feel that way,” he threw his hands up, “I was just trying to do something nice and apparently that backfired.”

It did not escape you that the language he used was manipulative as fuck and you bit your tongue from throwing words in his face you would not be able to take back.

“I don’t think this is very productive,” you finally said, “I am going to take a shower and I would really appreciate it if we could talk about this sometime when we are both more clear-headed.”

Though as you made your way to the bathroom, the steaming mug still in your hands, you had the sinking feeling that any following conversation would not bring the closure you hoped it would.

*

As if your day could not get any better, your phone rang just as you stepped out of the shower and into your bedroom.

Recognizing the picture on the screen, you accepted the video call, wrapping your bathrobe a little tighter.

“Hi.”

“Happy birthday, honey!” your mom appeared on the small screen. The living room wall behind her looked just like it had done your entire childhood and you spotted the variety of family pictures she took great care of dusting every week.

“Thank you.”

“Did you have fun?” she asked, “Did you get to go out with Josh and your friends?”

“Yeah, uh,” you hesitated for a moment, “Josh organized a little party here but I ended up going out with the team later. We went for karaoke and it was awesome.”

“You certainly look like you had an awesome night,” she teased and you bit your lip to keep from grinning.

“So … how are you feeling?” she asked and you immediately grew suspicious. You knew that tone and you knew when she was worried.

“Good,” you replied carefully, “Like I said, I had a fun night.”

She hummed and avoided looking at you for a moment and you knew what was about to happen when you saw your father sitting down next to her. Even hundreds of miles apart, you still felt like a child when your parents sat together on the sofa like that one time when you accidentally put a dent in the family car.

“Remember our conversation from a few weeks ago?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I am feeling a lot better now.”

“And I am so glad to hear it,” she smiled and you could tell the genuine worry from where the crease never quite left her forehead, “I talked with your father and we – we think it might be best if you come visit us for a while. Come back home, check

“Just because you don’t think I can't make it as an agent –“

“Hey,” your dad interrupted you gently, “No one is prouder of you than we are, sweetheart, and we know you make for one hell of an agent. But the fact remains that you were miserable for the last couple of months and it might not be a bad idea to try and get to the root of things.”

And by the root of things they meant that you re-discover your passion to become an English teacher at your local middle school.

“I am an adult woman,” you tried again, “I love you and I love that you worry about me. But we need to keep in mind that I made a big move for a job that I was not wholly prepared for. The adjustment period was … longer than I wanted, for sure. But I finally feel like things are moving for the better and this makes me feel like you do not believe in me.”

“We do love you, honey,” your mum assured you, “And I apologize for making you feel like we don’t trust your decisions. I know you are incredibly proud of the work you do and you should be! But I am worried and I would feel better if you took some time off and came to visit us. Allow yourself the grace to breathe, you have been working non-stop since you moved away. There is no way that is healthy.”

You ran your hand over your face, trying to get yourself some time to think over your answer. The horrible thing was you knew your mother was right. Even if you did not want to admit it, you knew that you had been overworking yourself, that ever since Dr Johnson had voiced her doubts, your brain had been on edge and that a break might not be the worst idea.

Especially considering you had not taken any time off since you started your position.

“I hear you,” you started, feeling your eyes sting with tears. But you refused to cry in front of your parents lest they thought they were right and insisted that you come home as soon as possible. The last thing you wanted was to worry them.

“Can you just give me some time to think it over?” you asked, “Taking time off is not as easy as it sounds and I want to make sure that I don’t miss anything important at work.”

“Of course, darling,” your mother agreed, “Let us know anytime.”

But you knew that her anytime meant that your time was running out.

[starry-eyed-wild-child]

🌻 kappa x reader headcanons 🌻

. yikes, first off this man right here - I need him in my VEINS

. but swiftly moving on

. i'm not gonna sugarcoat anything, this relationship is probably toxic af - like you're both AWFUL for each other, it's like an obsessed kinda love that's probably really unhealthy

. but it's okay, we move

. probably met when he broke into your house or smth - but he'd probably been stalking you for weeks before, I don't make the rules we know it's true. but he'd 100% deny it to your face if you asked

. yes he would probably live in a VW samba. stereotypical? sure. but you can't tell me he doesn't - look me in the eyes and try I beg

. will get high with you every single night, if that's your vibe - and if it's not, he's still getting high with you every night cause he's such a gentleman

. kappa will swear on his life he hates animals, but the day you bring a cat home, bro is smitten

. will convince you to join the cult, let's not kid ourselves at all - whether you do so willingly is up to you, but either way, you're sleeping in that commune, babes

. would NEVER admit it aloud but he secretly wants small braids in his hair - tiny, tiny ones that go around. but you couldn't torture this information out of him

. try it, he'd probably get off on it

. i have said this before, and i stand by it - kappa listens to the zombies, it's a guilty pleasure that he'd rather die than admit

. y'know that red pendant he always wears? put it on for him, i beg. man will be on his knees

. is actually surprisingly a really good cook (i personally headcanon kappa as a veggie but that's just me, don't come at me pls)

. tries to be this heavy dominant man, but then probably smells like fucking fire and patchouli or some waffle

. putting the nsfw under the cut cause i don't wanna get scolded

. we, as a fandom, have collectively agreed that kappa is absolutely packing it down there

. he's a solid nine inches, and definitely has a few piercings - nipple bars are the ones that come to mind when I think of kappa, but probably had them in more intimate places 🤭

. is the kinkiest motherfucker you'll ever meet in your life - everything you knew? forget it, babes, kappa knows best

. if it's not messy and sloppy, kappa doesn't want it - you will be covered in scratches, bite marks, cum, blood, spit and sweat by the time this man is done with you

. he's so mean, man, oh my god

'c'mon, sugar, you can take it, you've fucking done it before'

'stop fucking crying or I'll give you something to cry about'

. aftercare? what's that? kappa will clean you up and maybe, maybe, if you're really, really good, he'll hold you

. loves, loves, loves fucking you outdoors - in 'mother nature' 🌿🍄

. hot take but kappa actually LOVES mutual masturbation (he's so gross, he just likes watching you touch yourself)

. his ego will be heightened when you can't finish by yourself

'awe, what's the matter, sugar? can't even cum without me anymore?'

. he's so fucking mean, I want him bad, man

. BREEDING KINK ( look me in the eyes and tell me no, i dare you)

. pushes his cum so deep inside you that it doesn't even drip out

'gotta make sure it stays nice and put, sugar, gonna fuck a baby into you, hm?'

. will praise you but in a really derogatory way? idk how to describe it

. when i tell you, you will never want another man again - kappa will make you feel things you didn't even know you could, man

. very, very good at what he does - kappa is very cocky, he knows he's good, and he loves when you tell him how good he is

. let this man eat you out, bro - you'll be in heaven. he's so disgusting with it - he's messy, sloppy and you can guarantee he will lap, lick, drool and dribble absolutely everywhere

. you have to beg this man to get away from between your legs - and even when you do, he still doesn't

. realistically, he's probably like a -2/10 BUT I'm gonna give him a solid 9/10 cause he's my man, and i'm delusional

. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[mrwinterr]

The Nerve

Pairing(s): former!Steve Harrington x Female Reader; eventual!Eddie Munson x Female Reader

Summary: The nerves of some people. 

Warnings: Cliché af. Toxic behavior. When they go low, I go lower. Revenge. Not a girls’ girl here bc once you fuck around w/ another girl’s man it’s “yes, and?” from there. Implied smut. Language. We’re probably not gonna like Steve (or even the reader for a bit) here. 

Disclaimer: Typical !former and !eventual pairing. Some time hopping. None of the spooky events of the Stranger Things (2016) series take place in this piece. Everything is just where it’s at because this is made up. 

Pre A/N: This is embarrassing. I was in my villain era. I was certainly in the business of misery. I was angry (still am sometimes), so I wrote this. We all cope differently.

The nerve. 

She had the nerve to steal your boyfriend. 

It had been a few weeks since Steve broke up with you, only to start dating a girl you had harbored no ill will toward until that night. He even had the guts to reveal who she was and how long he had been losing interest in you. You weren’t going to lie, it hurt – a lot. Discovering his real need for “space” during the last two months of your relationship was painful to realize because in that time, while you were being understanding, he was finding a way to end things with you.

Looking back, you couldn’t help but dissect the memory. It was an ordinary day. School was let out for the weekend, and you were spending it with Steve, a cozy night in without interruptions since he was often left alone at home. The two of you lay on the couch, cuddled up, bodies parallel, his arms around you, the room dimly lit by the TV screen. 

“I have something I wanna talk to you about…and it’s been on my mind for a while,” Steve says, loosening his grip and pausing the movie that was mindlessly playing midway. 

“Okay,” you reply, pushing yourself up from the couch to make space for him to sit up. He shifted, swinging his legs over to plant his feet on the carpeted floor, settling into a seated position and scooting aside to allow you room to sit back down next to him.  

The atmosphere shifted noticeably, and it made you nervous. The way he ran his hands through his hair and avoided meeting your gaze – it all felt ominous, and you couldn’t prepare yourself for what he was about to say. 

“I met someone,” he revealed. 

It wasn’t the news you expected, and you could feel your heart sink into your stomach as you absorbed his words.

“Oh,” is all you manage to say, now turning your gaze to the ground too, unable to look at him. 

A whirlwind of emotions swept through you – hurt, anger, brokenness, betrayal. The signs had been there. Why hadn’t you seen them? He had been growing distant – more withdrawn, fewer “good mornings” and “good nights”, less calls, more canceled dates. You had been looking forward to tonight, thinking he was just preoccupied with work or his upcoming graduation, believing whatever he needed space for was resolved. Turns out, he needed space from you. 

You had so many questions, even though you weren’t sure why you needed the answers. In that moment, you wanted to know what you had done to make him lose interest in you. You had thought the relationship was salvageable. 

What? He was breaking up with you. 

When? He’d been feeling like this for almost two months. 

Where? At work.  

Who? The other girl he worked with, also attends Hawkins High, but she's a year above you, therefore had more classes and events with him. 

How? It just happened. 

Yeah, that last one was a classic, but not as much as him telling you that you did nothing wrong and that you both could stay friends. Bullshit. With Steve, would come her, and you couldn’t believe the nerve of her to pursue another girl’s boyfriend. You’d seen her while visiting Steve at his job, but you hadn’t felt threatened by her. The hurting phase was brutal, but now all you could feel for her was anger – after all, who didn’t know that you were dating Steve Harrington? 

She had the nerve to act all innocent.

The school hallways were not pleasant for you. A few days after the break up, rumors circulated that Steve left you for someone else, though apparently their relationship hadn’t been made public yet, sparking widespread gossip. 

How would you have known that though? His business wasn’t yours anymore. In fact, you’d made a deliberate effort to distance yourself from them because the breakup was still fresh. Fuck trying to be friends. This time you were the one that needed the space. The last thing you wanted was to think about them together. 

Steve had the audacity to point the finger at you because you were supposedly the only one aware of the relationship. Even when you tried to explain, he left you hanging. The disbelief on his face hurt to witness. He didn’t believe you. 

“How do they know about us?” Steve demanded as he approached you at your locker, hands on his hips in typical, upset Steve fashion. No hey, hi or hello. He just went right in. 

“I don’t know,” you scoffed, continuing to unload your textbooks from your backpack.

“Well, you’re the only one who knows,” he persisted, leaning in closer, determined to get an answer. “And your name is going around.” 

“Look, Steve,” you finally turned to face him, your tone sharp, catching him off guard. “Your new relationship isn’t my concern.” This is a side of you Steve isn’t used to. “Why would I go around telling everyone that you left me for her? In all the time you’ve known me, have I ever given you a reason to think I’d do something like this?” 

You could see him reconsidering his accusation. The questions seemed to stump him, as if he knew the rumors were absurd and gossip wasn’t something you partook in. 

“Why don’t you go talk to your girlfriend and figure it out?” you suggested, turning back to your locker, not in the mood to continue the conversation. 

All Steve did was stare at you before shaking his head then going into a tangent of how some of the rumors were negatively affecting her when they weren’t true and how she shouldn’t have to endure them or receive any of its backlash…as if you did. But when he started saying something along the lines of how she wouldn’t do that because she told him she didn’t, you knew this was all a wasted effort on your end because he had already made up his mind. He believed her. 

Did he truly think you cared that much about them? Did he really think you'd stoop so low as to announce his new relationship? Did he ever really know you? 

She had the nerve to lie. 

Steve apologized to you when he discovered it was actually his new girlfriend that spread the news. He recognized his rash behavior and conceded that he should’ve believed you. Why would you waste energy on them? They weren’t worth your time anymore. 

“Hey,” a voice calls from behind, and you turn to see Steve standing there, looking contrite. Unlike before, you receive a greeting.

“Hey,” you reply, briefly acknowledging him before returning to organizing your locker, now cluttered by your chaotic friend’s belongings - stashing the shit that no one would suspect the good girl to possess. It didn’t bother you much, except for the occasional stench it left behind. 

“You were right,” Steve admits, hands in his front pockets and moving to the side to look at you. Pausing your task, you wait for him to continue. “She was the one going around telling everyone that I left you…for her.” Boy, that was awkward and lowkey stung. It hadn’t even been that long and he didn’t fail to remind you how you all got here. 

“I’m sorry I doubted you,” he continues, visibly ashamed, “I should’ve known better than to believe that.” His apology didn’t really move you. The damage had already been done. You were branded as the ‘psycho ex’ and all Steve had to do was trust you from the start. 

She had the nerve to act like a girls’ girl. 

She never directly apologized, but she had the nerve to claim that she harbored “no hard feelings” toward you. Hard feelings? Why? Because you’re the ex? Was she fucking stupid? How did she expect the girl whose boyfriend she stole to feel? Everything that came out of her mouth infuriated you.  

It was no ordinary day – it was your birthday, and your friend had organized a night out to celebrate. You never liked to make a spectacle of your birthday, but it was also a good reason to go out, distract yourself, and avoid dwelling on unwanted thoughts. 

“You’re lying,” your friend responds, baffled by what you just told him, “she really said that?” 

“She fucking did!” you exclaim, still grappling with her impeccable timing. She wouldn’t know it was your birthday or would she care. 

“Jesus. Of all the days…” he says with a low whistle before attempting to lift your spirits, “But, hey, we’re not gonna let her ruin your birthday!”

“I know, and I won’t!” Your voice wavers as you try to convince yourself this wouldn’t affect you. You were determined to not cry today, but the truth was, it still hurts. Her little stunt reopened a wound that was almost healed.  

“He’s such a fool,” he remarks, followed by a brief silence. You were preoccupied with regaining your composure, fighting back tears, unable to respond. “He didn’t know what he already had in front of him. Lucky son of a bitch,” he added, and you’re not sure if he was speaking to himself or he meant to say that outloud, but you heard him nonetheless. 

“Stop,” you reply, turning your away from him. You’re not gonna cry. “I know what you’re trying to do, Eddie.”  

“What am I trying to do?” He asks adjusting to move to your line of vision, but you keep your focus averted.

“Hype me up, make me feel better…I don't know,” you answer, finally meeting his gaze, the tears now freely falling. 

He understood how hard you were on yourself, replaying what could’ve been avoided. Your relationship with Steve wasn’t something you anticipated. Steve pursued you, and initially, you were fine with a casual fling, but he insisted on something more serious. You had doubts about whether he was the right person, but what if he was? It’s a reminder that life isn’t planned; it’s lived.

Eddie’s support during your breakup was invaluable. He watched you cry a lot – at home, at his trailer, at school, at work. He watched you criticize yourself for the breakup. He watched the light go out and he was determined to reignite it. He simply wanted his friend back. 

“Sweetheart, I promise you,” he assures, hand over his heart, “everything I’ve said is sincere,” accompanied by that charming, stupid trademark Eddie grin. He was so endearing. 

“Well,” you begin, but he’s got you. He had a knack for flipping the script, leaving you wondering why you were arguing in the first place. 

Despite your curiosity about what attracted Steve to someone else and away from you, you had to accept that you probably wouldn’t ever know. 

If there was one thing you knew about Steve, it was that when he falls, he falls fast. With that realization, it sparked a wicked plan in your mind. If you could bag him once, you could probably do it again. 

The nerve. 

You had the nerve to lie. 

The only person you had confided in about your breakup with Steve was Eddie, and you had the right to do so. You needed a friend. You also knew he had no interest in high school gossip, so it couldn’t have been him that told the whole school. You trusted him. 

People liked to talk and they didn’t hold back. Although the lies bothered you, you had a strong support system in Eddie and his friends. If any group could shrug off that nonsense, it was the Hellfire Club.

“Are you sure you didn’t tell anyone?” Steve asked, continuing to badger you, even suggesting Eddie as the culprit. You knew Steve well enough that he couldn’t take gossip about him for this long. After all, he had a reputation to uphold, and not all of the rumors were in his favor. 

“Eddie?” You asked, confused but also guilty because you had done just that. 

“Yeah, I know how much time you’ve been spending with him lately.” 

“Why is that any of your business?” You countered, a bit snappy.  

“Because,” Steve began, grasping for an excuse, “people talk.”

“And you really think Eddie would? He doesn’t care about shit like this or you-”

“Please,” he interrupts with an eye roll, in the annoying way Steve always did. 

“You don’t know him,” you defended your friend, “so get off your high horse and go talk to your girlfriend about your problem,” leaving him questioning everything again.  

You had the nerve to act all innocent. 

The birthday incident, as you tried your best to keep thoughts of Steve at bay, she unexpectedly approached you, alone, feigning sweetness and innocence. You listened as she spun her lies – lies about overhearing people gossip about her, Steve, and you; lies about rumors allegedly started by you; lies about having “no hard feelings” toward you. It was all fabrication.  

Politely, you attempted to have her understand your side of the story, clarifying that you had not spread any rumors and had discussed the situation with Steve, as civil as that could’ve been, and ultimately, how she should address the matter directly with him. What were you now? A couples counselor? You didn’t have time for this or them.

You weren’t going to start lying to yourself now, but it angered you. All you saw was red. So, you gave it right back, feigning innocence yourself, doubling down on it, subtly planting a seed of doubt in her mind. 

“Watch out for him,” you said sincerely, your warning devoid of malice. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She asked genuinely curious. God she was fucking stupid. Did she think she would walk out of this situation without a scratch? She had just proven she was not a girl’s girl for actively pursuing your boyfriend while he was with you. The world is a jungle, and it was every woman for herself now. 

“Nothing,” you shrugged, maintaining composure, “...just a girl looking out for another girl,” you added, offering her an innocent, warm smile. 

“Okay,” she replied, sounding confused and a bit shaky. You could sense her discomfort, and she deserved to feel uneasy. 

Ultimately, you weren’t lying. Yes, she should watch out for Steve – what made her think he wouldn’t treat her the same way he did to you? However, if you were in her shoes, you’d watch out for yourself. 

You had the nerve to not act like a girl’s girl too. 

The sudden breakup with Steve left some unresolved feelings, but he was now with her, not you, yet that didn’t stop the urge to act on them. Steve was weak and you realized that soon enough. 

With your head turned to the side, you observed him, listening to his ragged breathing, how his lips parted, emitting small puffs of air, his chest rising and falling, the sweat that dripped from the top of his forehead, and eyes closed in post-bliss. Your gaze traces the freckles that speckled his skin as you studied his profile, wrestling with the questions swirling your mind.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked cautiously, breaking the silence. Why fight for him?

He didn’t respond immediately, but didn’t linger too long before replying, “Not really.” 

“We’re gonna have to,” you said and it sounded almost pathetic. Why were you trying to hold onto him? 

“I…I think we shouldn’t talk for a while,” and when he said that, you knew that actually meant this was done. He was done with you. Why did you want to change his mind?

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks. You knew it had to end eventually. There was no intention or hope of remaining friends. 

That night, you went home feeling hurt, broken, angry, and disgusted. You knew what you did was wrong, a sad attempt on your part. He probably wanted that reaction from you. You were more than willing to feed his male ego. What guy didn’t enjoy the idea of two girls vying for him? If it was easy for her and it was easy for you, it would be easy for another. What made him so special?

You had the nerve to try to steal her boyfriend.

It was a toxic situation. You found yourself doing exactly what she had done to you. What did that accomplish? Bragging rights and a fleeting sense of revenge, perhaps, but it didn’t bring you and Steve back together. It only highlighted how destructive you both could be. You sought revenge at the expense of homewrecking a relationship. You were no better, yet in a twisted way, you didn’t care. You wanted them to feel the same pain you did, even though deep down, you knew Steve was capable of sabotaging his own relationships. 

You told Eddie of the misdeed, feeling ashamed. He wasn’t upset with you. He understood that you would follow your own path no matter what. He didn’t have the right to control you. Both of you recognized that this would only lead to your own suffering. Unfortunately, you had to learn this lesson the hard way. 

“I know you’re upset and that’s okay,” he tries to console you, “...your feelings are valid.  But I don’t think you need to find the answers to everything. They’ll just lead to more and it’ll never end.”

He was right. The more you held onto what happened between you and Steve, the more questions arose. He was living rent free in your head. 

“I just-” you struggled, trying hard to make sense of the situation, “I just wanna know. What did I do wrong? How did he get bored of me? When was I not enough?” 

“Have you ever heard of the 80/20 rule?” he asked, and you shook your head. “It’s basically a theory that when someone cheats, they are drawn to the 20% in another person that is missing in their current partner.”

You’re not sure how much that helped you because it begged the question…”And I know what you’re thinking, so stop that!” Eddie’s quick to read you, “you’re lacking nothing, alright?” 

“Everyone knows I’m not a big fan of Steve Harrington,” he said, scrunching up his face at the mention of his name, “...but he’ll regret this. His type always comes back…fucking roaches.” That last remark elicited a small cackle out of you. 

He then took your hand in his. It’s a stark contrast to your own hand – larger, a bit rough, warm and slightly clammy – but it provided a sense of comfort. You don’t realize how long you’ve been staring at your hands clasped together until he gives it a light squeeze and says, “He’ll realize he was much better off with the 80% he already had.” 

Damn Eddie Munson. He was too good to you. It gave you a new perspective. Why were you being so hard on yourself? Why were you trying to convince yourself that the relationship’s downfall was your fault? It was Steve who started pulling away from you. It was Steve who did pull away from you. It was Steve who was actively pulling away from you. Everything that happened wasn’t solely on you. 

These kinds of things happen to everyone every day. Feeling hurt, broken, angry, betrayed and ashamed were normal and acceptable emotions. You just have to learn to swallow your pride and accept this as part of life. You live and learn – not necessarily forgive or forget, but move on in your own way. 

You were once happy without Steve, and you could be happy again. You gave up or changed a lot for Steve, losing sight of what made you happy. Now, you were committed to reclaiming your happiness. Fuck, when did you start crying? 

“You alright, sweetheart?” Eddie’s voice laced in concern, bringing his other hand up to wipe the stray tears running down your face. 

“How do you do it?” you asked, looking down to compose yourself. 

“Do what?” he responded, amused. You didn’t answer verbally, but twist your hand in his to thread your fingers between his. The small smile on your face conveyed your question, softening his features. It’s a rare emotion from Eddie, mixed with vulnerability accompanied with a newfound awareness. 

He brings your now interlocked hands to his lips but not before saying, “...because I’m a big fan of you,” and kisses the back of your hand gently.

The nerve.

Steve had the nerve to lie. 

Several months have passed with minimal communication from Steve. Occasionally seeing them together around school and town didn’t bother you anymore – well, not entirely. You can’t deny it still stirred up certain feelings, but you didn’t give it a second thought and eventually they weren’t a blimp on your radar. The past no longer consumed you, but unexpectedly, it started consuming Steve. 

Evidently, he still knew your schedule and had been desperately trying to find a chance to talk to you – just the two of you, without Eddie, other friends, teachers, classmates, or family around. When he approached you, you were confused; unsure if he was still with her or anyone else. You intentionally tuned out gossip and never paid attention to their situation. Besides, you had a better reason to not care about Steve anymore. So, when he starts pouring out his feelings, you take it with a grain of salt, this time with a clearer mind. 

“Hey,” Steve calls out as you step out of your front door, ready to head out with your ride nearby. 

“Uh, hey, Steve,” you reply with uncertainty. 

“Can we talk?” he asks hesitantly. 

“Now might not be the best time,” you respond with unease. 

“Please, just give me five minutes,” he begs, his eyes full of hope and pleading. What could there possibly be left to talk about? Despite your instincts telling you to stand firm, you reluctantly agree to hear him out, which you soon regret. 

Steve begins with an apology and offers to explain his actions. What more was there for him to explain? You no longer desired an explanation. It was simple – he grew tired of you, became interested in another girl, and left you; perhaps grew tired of her too and now he’s back. You had moved on from your failed relationship with Steve months ago. However, he felt he “owed” you an explanation. Was this all a joke to him?

The more he spoke, the more you got lost in your thoughts trying to comprehend the reality that he was standing before you, admitting to his mistakes, and seeking a second chance. His voice started to fade into the background as you felt the weight of deciding how to respond, all while knowing your ride would arrive at any moment. When the pressure got too much, you finally managed to step up. 

“Steve,” you interrupt, “I don’t know what you want me to say to you.” 

“You don’t have to say anything right now. I just–” he’s cut off by the sound of loud, muffled music, causing both of you to turn your attention to the bulky van that just pulled up in front of your house. 

You glanced at Steve sending him a tight lip smile before taking the short few steps to the curb, not looking back, knowing you were never going to get that "owed" explanation.

Steve had the nerve to try to act all innocent.

The atmosphere in Eddie’s van is tense the moment you climb into the passenger seat. Neither of you expected to see Steve today, let alone right before a date. And it happened. The lingering feelings had unearthed between you and Eddie and you welcomed it, a testament to your decision to move on from Steve. Right when things are looking up, life throws you a curveball in the form of your ex. 

“Are you okay?” Eddie asks cautiously, stealing a quick glance at you before focusing back on the road. 

“Yeah,” you reply unconvincingly, then quickly retract, “no,” followed by a sigh, “I mean, I was…I am. I’m just annoyed at Steve right now. I swear I had no idea he was stopping by.” 

“You’re fine,” Eddie assured, dismissively waving his hand to convey that it wasn’t a big deal to him, though his mind was racing with a million questions. When he saw Steve with you, he couldn’t help but wonder: Why was Steve there? What were you two talking about? What did Steve want? Had you been in contact with him and not mentioned it? Not that Eddie could control who you talked to, girlfriend or not. 

“I can’t believe he had the nerve to say he ‘respects’ my feelings!” Your emotions spill out as you unload on Eddie, “After everything he did to me, does that look like someone who ‘respects’ my feelings?” 

“It is a pretty shitty thing for him to do,” Eddie agrees, not just coming from the boyfriend perspective, but from any perspective. 

Steve thought that by acknowledging your feelings upfront, it would ease his case. However, upon reflection, you realized it was more about saving face for the hurtful way he left you, attempting to depict himself in a more favorable light.

“Right?!” The audacity Steve had to arrive at your door, unannounced, just before your date with Eddie. God, Eddie. It was a brief but uncomfortable moment. Steve knew you were friends with Eddie, he never bothered to understand the depth of your relationship because he didn’t care enough to meet your other friends. “I’m sorry, Eddie,” you say, feeling remorseful.  

“For what?” he chuckles softly because can’t believe what you're apologizing for.

“I didn’t expect to see Steve today,” you explain. 

“That’s not on you,” he assures, “remember, I told you they always come back.” 

“True,” you agree, “but that’s not what I want.” 

“What do you want, then?” he asks.

“You,” you admit, “just you, Eddie,” reaching for his free hand to hold for assurance. 

Yeah, Steve wasn’t going to fool you.  

Steve had the nerve to try to steal you from your boyfriend. 

During the initial months, Steve made attempts to regain your favor. You questioned repeatedly whether you could genuinely consider being just friends with him. That had been his original intention after breaking your heart, but he failed to uphold his end of the deal. Was it worth attempting to rebuild a friendship with him? Would it reflect poorly on your judgment if you did? Could you bear being around Steve in any capacity? If Eddie hadn’t arrived on time for your date that evening, you didn’t know how much more of Steve's admission you could take before you hit another breaking point. 

“I’ve been thinking a lot about you,” Steve begins, pausing, his mouth opening and closing as he carefully chooses his next words, “I miss you.” He observes your lack of response before continuing, “I miss us. We worked…and I really want to try and get to that again…to what we had.” 

You can see it was difficult for him to admit this. Seeing your unphased reaction, he begins to ramble and talk out of his ass, “I mean, only if you want to. I can understand if you don’t. I do respect your feelings.” 

You knew you didn’t have the mental or even emotional capacity to deal with Steve at that moment, and fortunately, the interaction didn’t progress any further. More importantly, it didn’t ruin your date with Eddie. 

Steve’s graduation, once an event you looked forward to celebrating, was now a canceled event on your calendar. While you wished you could’ve joined in celebrating, Eddie had unfortunately not passed his exams again. Hopefully, on his third attempt, he will be able to graduate and walk the stage with you next year. 

You had started working at a music store, which you enjoyed because it allowed you to be surrounded by something you loved – music. Eddie particularly appreciated the employee discount, a place to hang around during your shifts, though he seemed less excited about the store’s proximity to a certain video store.

It was inevitable that Steve would eventually walk in. Initially, your classmate and presumably Steve’s co-worker, now friend, Robin accompanied him. Over time, Steve started coming in alone, conveniently when Eddie wasn’t hanging around. 

It wasn’t that you were afraid to be alone with him, and Eddie trusted you; he simply didn’t trust Steve. Despite Steve not being the same person from high school, multiple events humbling him, his efforts to revive your past relationship persisted. Although his approach was more subdued than before and masked as friendship, there was still an underlying motive. It was no secret either that you were in a relationship with Eddie. 

Given the small-town geography of Hawkins, you accepted Steve wasn’t going to just disappear. You managed to adapt to his presence. While you couldn’t deny that this attention boosted your ego, you were resolute about not revisiting the past with him. 

“So, I’ve got a copy of Pretty In Pink hot off the press,” Steve announced, showcasing proof of the video tape during another lunch break he spent at your workplace with you on a slow day. “Interested in watching it with me tonight?” he asked, trying to sound smooth and hopeful, adding and emphasizing “as friends,” though not convincingly considering you haven’t agreed to any plans with Steve let alone as that. 

You glanced at him, then at the tape in his hands, and then back at him. “Thanks, but I’m not really into rom-coms,” you replied with a small smile. 

“What? Since when?” he asked, visibly surprised. 

“Since forever…” you answered with a light laugh that almost sounded like a scoff. It internally annoys you because as a former partner, he should’ve known that.

“Oh,” he said, setting the tape down on the counter between you. 

“Yeah,” you drawled, trying to fill the ensuing awkward silence. Fortunately, the door chimed, signaling a new customer – saved by the bell, literally.  

“Babe, you’re gonna love me! I convinced Robin to save me a copy of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and she fucking delivered,” Eddie exclaimed excitedly about tonight’s movie, barely noticing Steve’s presence until he reached the register. “Oh, hey, man.” 

It’s amusing yet endearing to see Eddie straighten up and square his shoulders around Steve, as if they were in competition. You couldn’t blame Eddie for feeling that way, though he really had no reason to worry he’d lose. 

“Hey,” Steve replied, shoving the copy of the romantic comedy aside, embarrassed that he had forgotten your preference for horror movies. 

As you and Eddie enthusiastically discussed the sequel, Steve felt out of place, as if you and Eddie were in your own little world, completely forgetting he was still standing there. He couldn’t contribute to the conversation because he hadn’t seen the first movie and didn’t know anything about it to share in the excitement. Eventually, he quietly slipped away with the tape in hand, on the short trek back to Family Video concluding his lunch break. 

The notion of ‘forgive and ‘forget’ was bullshit. While you could be civil, deep down, you still harbored hurt and anger over what happened. Much of the past year was spent in an emotional decline that affected various aspects of your life – home, social interactions, physical and mental well-being. Now, however, you were focused on reclaiming your happiness. Places and things around town that once reminded you of Steve and your past relationship no longer brought sadness; you were forging new memories with someone else.  

Whether it be in a friend or significant other, Eddie was like your rock. He was there from the start, witnessing your first date with Steve and even expressing his reservations about him. Yet, he knew he had to let you navigate life, love and mistakes on your own. Despite any reckless choices you made, even those that disappointed him, Eddie remained a source of comfort and support because he genuinely cared for you. 

Growing closer to Eddie was a breath of fresh air compared to Steve. You didn’t feel the need to impress Eddie; he was always impressed by you. Reflecting on it, you realized how much you had changed to fit in Steve’s world, which now seemed almost pathetic. With Eddie, you don’t have to change anything – your clothes, your diet, your friends, or your interests. He respected you for who you were. 

It’s ironic that just as you’re back on track and happy, Steve wants to interfere. What’s even sadder is that he promised an explanation but hasn’t delivered, yet he’s actively pursuing you. So what? You tell your ex you still have feelings for them and miss what you both had. What did he expect? That he was Steve Harrington and you’d jump back into his arms? No. He had moved on, supposedly, and so did you, finally. 

Part of you cherished early memories with Steve, and you weren’t going to fail to admit that during the initial attempts, you entertained the thought of what if you got back with him. However, he’s the reason why you struggled to move on and became recluse. Who knows? Maybe he learned from his mistakes or not. What he did to you, he did to her and would likely repeat to others. He only proved that second chances sometimes didn’t matter because rarely do people change. You concluded you couldn’t be more than what you currently were to Steve. 

He was the one who chose to end the relationship. He was the one who decided you weren’t enough for him. He was the one who chose to engage with another woman. He was the one who strung you along. He's the one who decided to cut you off. And now, he’s the one seeking a way back in. It was comical because all the tactics he used the first time he convinced you to go out on a date with him didn’t work this time. It had him trying harder and he was failing miserably. You were now the one living rent-free in his head. 

The events of this whole situation have allowed you to build emotional strength and learn to love yourself and someone else again. You were happy, and happy with Eddie. You weren’t going to let something silly as an 80/20 rule or a past relationship with Steve interfere with that happiness.

Yet, it goes to show the nerves of some people. 

Post A/N: I wish I had this happier ending in real life. Please like, comment and/or reblog. It’ll motivate me to write more and you know also help my self-esteem.

[normalzucchini]

Danny is on a vacation. It doesn't matter where, why or how, the important thing is that he is.

Tim, was forced to go on a vacation. He hates it, but at least there's a good coffee shop.

A villain attacks while both of these are in one location. Both of them tense, ready to beat the shit out of the baddie, when they realize "oh hey, I'm on vacation/oh hey, b send me to get some rest, and I'm petty AF so unless the villain starts killing people, I'm letting them get away with it"

That isn't the problem of course. Nor is the fact that the villain took both of them hostage.

No, the real problem is both Tim and Danny immidietly clocked the other one as a teen hero. And both of them expect the other to do something about the situation.

It starts with Danny checking the time and realizing that if he stays here any longer, he will miss his reservation for the observatory. He tries to let Tim know he knows hes a hero, so please go ahead and beat the baddie?

Of course Tim answer similarly, because his coffee is getting cold and he can't reach it. So they're both pushing the other to do something about the situation.

Well, few hours later, they're both still at it. The villain at this point let them go several times only for them to come back like "hey Mr villain, I think you lost us there for a second". Theyre communicating with each other through various eyebrows movements and spite. It's 2 in morning, please just go home.

At one point batman shows up and Tim interrupts him, telling him to mind his own fucking business. In that moment he was in fierce staring duel with Danny, and he was slowly losing. Though Danny's eyes were slowly starting to glow toxic green, so maybe he was winning...?

[radiant-reid]

need a blurb where spencer and y/n are in a fight and a kid gets in trouble and goes to spencer to whine ab it and spencer just like “yeah me too kid”

omg i wanna write divorce fics so bad someone stop me because that's toxic af

The 'no fighting in front of the kids' rule means that even though you and Spencer are in the middle of a spat, you have no choice during the hours your kids are awake to do anything but avoid each other in a way that's not suspicious.

Your two-day-long argument isn't about anything huge, just Spencer's work-life balance throwing you both out of sync. It's something you've worked through before, so there's no major concern for your relationship going forward.

He was out running errands, but you're pretty sure he's back, probably sulking in his study. You're baking to relieve your anger, mixing chocolate chips into cookie dough while you watch the twins playing a board game.

It quickly goes wrong, and Mabel's yelling, throwing her cards at her sister. You intervene before things can escalate more. "Mabel, come here." You call sharply, and you're greeted by an angry seven-year-old next to you. "You don't throw things at other people." You discipline her. "Or yell. You can go say sorry now or sit in your room until you're ready to."

She takes the latter option, stomping away sassily. "Not fair!" She yells back.

"I didn't cheat," Maisie claims from the table.

You nod. "Why don't you read the new book you got at the library?" You suggest. They love spending time together, and they're close since they're twins, but sometimes they need time apart.

Mabel passes her bedroom and goes to the study, looking for her dad, who she finds. He's not even reading the book in his hands, just sitting there moping.

"Hey, Belle." He says when she pushes open the door.

"Mom's mad at me." She complains, sitting on the leather armchair opposite him.

"Yeah, me too." Spencer agrees. "What happened?"

She sighs dramatically. "Threw cards at Mais." She confesses. "Because she was being mean. Wait, why's she mad at you?"

"I didn't apologize when I should have." He admits.

She gasps like he'd just confessed to committing a crime. "You know you always have to apologize."

Sometimes he wonders if his kids are smarter than him because they always seem to repeat the things he tells them when he needs advice. "Yeah, I should." He agrees. "Are you going to?"

She thinks about it for a second before nodding. "Yeah, probably."

Spencer stands up, offering her a hand up. "Should we go now?"

She takes it, nodding at him. "Yup."

[autistic-ben-tennyson]

Benlie: Why I love these two

A lot of people in the Ben 10 fandom don’t really like this ship these days. Even back when UAF was airing, most were gushing over Gwevin and there was very little Benlie content like AMVs, fanfics or fanart. Many view Julie as a bland character and while she could have been fleshed out more, I think that’s a bit unfair as well as the idea of her being controlling, toxic or abusive. On the flip side are those that view Ben as a misogynistic incel who only saved Jennifer, Elena and Eunice to get in their pants, when he did care a lot more about Julie than some say. I am aware that there are overzealous stans who treat Benlie like the greatest romance in history and usually do it to drag down Omniverse, but many of us who still ship or enjoy it do so because we wish it could have been done better.

I like these two as a couple, partially because they’re a nice contrast to Gwen and Kevin. Gwevin was the “bad boy and smart girl” opposites attract, angst filled romance people loved. Ben and Julie by contrast are people with similar interests and personalities like Sumo Slammers, horror movies, sports and can be pretty headstrong while having a more compassionate side. Both also used “you’re not a monster, you’re better than this” to get the Dragon/Ship to come to their senses, ironically both incidents involved the Forever Knights. Friends to lovers can be overused or cliche but it can also be wholesome.

One other thing I love about these two is how they bounce off each other. Julie is someone besides Gwen who can remind Ben that there’s more to life besides being a hero, something the original Ben 10,000 struggled with and who pushes him to reign in his jerkass tendencies. Sort of like Robin and Starfire in Teen Titans. She brings out the best in him and he is aware that he’s not a great boyfriend, but he does better than most give him credit for. No hate to Benkai fans but they really brought out the worst in each other while Julie got the short end of the stick from the writers.

I also really like how she’s the one that saved him from being corrupted by the power of Dagon, keeping him from letting the power go to his head which is a nice parallel to Azmuth and Zenith. She was kind of the fourth member of the team before Rook, having helped Ben during Big Chill’s pregnancy, and helping stop the Highbreed war, Ultimate Kevin’s rampage and Ben from abusing the power of Ascalon. She also saved him twice from Elena and as well as when he got his hand cut off and was trapped in the Null Void and reassured him when his identity was leaked.

As stated above, many of us Benlie fans ship it because of its missed potential. The show should have really fleshed out their parents more as we never see them interact and Julie’s dad was shown to hate Ben in his only appearance. Julie could have staged an intervention with Carl and Sandra after the Ultimate Kevin incident and over their concerns about Ben’s fame as that arc needed more consequences. I think Julie would also have been fun to see interacting with Rook as well as the other characters Omniverse introduced.

One other reason I really like Benlie is it has a similar vibe to some of my other favorite ships like Hodaka x Hina or Connverse and it feels very animesque, which makes since as the series is quite similar to a magical girl anime. They genuinely care about each other despite their ups and downs and have a very cute vibe. I headcanon both as bisexual or biromantic given Ben’s “crush” on Nemesis and his interactions with Rook, Rex and Kevin. Julie also seems a bit queer, coming from a strict family, keeping secrets like Ship and slowly breaking out of her shell, realizing what she wants out of life.

People use them arguing or Ben screwing up as a reason it was toxic but I like seeing characters work out their issues and succeeding. They got together in AF and were fairly stable. Then conflicts arose in UA when Ben became famous and Julie began her own career in tennis, but they appear to have reconciled by the finale. Then OV could have had them as partners with Rook, having worked out their issues. Regardless of whether you like them as a couple, fans can all agree that Julie deserved better from the writers and isn’t as bad as the fandom makes her out to be. I’m aware that they were not a perfect romance but they don’t need to be for people to like them.

[cringelordofchaos]

Hot take: drew and Zoey DO love each other

(or at least have at one point).

Look at that blush!!

Not saying they're not toxic or shallow or that it could've worked but to deny they had feelings for each other just for other ships to seem cooler seems pointless to me

They loved each other, though they are horrible cor each other that doesn't mean they don't care for each other (case in point: drake)

This is not to say drew isn't in love with Jake (I'm a big drew-is-in-love-with-jake-and-the-closet-is-made-of-glass-truther myself) but I don't think drew dated her just for reputation, they both have a messed up way of showing and receiving love (Drew's love language is gift giving, and Zoey might feel loved when given money which is weird af but it makes sense in a way, her getting a sugar daddy could be to get more money but also more love ever since drew might've started acting distant or uncaring towards her or she felt like his love and attention wasn't enough, cuz she seems extreme desperate for respect and attention and stuff like that, given how she usually makes herself to be the center of attention so often and how she tries putting herself above everyone else, meanwhile Drew would pay more attention to jake than her at times lmao, which might've made her angry or jealous or idk. but she craved his gifts, his love at one point.)

Zoey did manipulate and deceive him and he fell for it, RosyClozy at point said "Teeth" (a song by 5 Seconds Of Summer) fit Droey really well , and these are the lyrics

The song seems to be about someone infatuated with their lover, being the only brightness in their life and genuinely caring about them, but being lied to and deceived and ig being afraid of being pushed away

When drew found out zoey cheated on him, he was quite obviously upset, as anyone would be, really. Though you could say that, in a way, he seemed to be more upset about Jake not telling him Zoey cheated on him, than... Zoey cheating on him. Again, the show prioritizes how Drew feels about Jake over how he feels about Zoey, which makes it a bit more complicated to break down the true feelings behind Droey. (Plus, all the other ships have canon origins. Lander - childhood best friends. Jailey - met at freshman year, but Jake turned his back on Hailey in order to fit in w the jomies, causing rivalry and mistrust between the two. Jaisy - met in middle school, where she encouraged Jake's passions. Milliot - milliot spinoff ep1, see for yourself. Etc etc. but droey? We don't know how they met or how they got together. I assume it's gonna be revealed in S2 at one point. And it might be really important.)

At one point he worries about Zoey not asking him to buy her anything one time they went out. This was because that's his way of showing love like I said earlier. He was worried because she, in a way, rejected his love. He was worried she didn't love him anymore.

For what reason? Because he loved her.

Now, why does he act distant or ignorant to her at times? Heck if I know. In ep9 for example he seems more annoyed from her than anything else, really. Maybe he's fallen out of love..maybe he's tried of her. Maybe his love for Jake outweighed his love for Zoey. Maybe he felt like she didn't love him anymore, so he didn't feel like trying to love her either. Maybe something else entirely.

But either way ....

Drew cared about Zoey. End of discussion

Now, what is "the line" that separates romantic and platonic love? I honestly don't know. Was drew in love with her? Was it romantic or platonic? Could he have mistaken his feelings for something else? Idfk. I honestly think romantic attraction makes no bullshit. I always saw it as platonic attraction combined with sexual attraction but apparently that . Is not the case ???? Which makes no sense to me. Can some explain pls lmao

That's not the point. He loved her. Now, the show focuses more on how he loved and how he misses Jake, but it's not like Jake is the only person he loves and cares about.

Now does ZOEY love DREW? that's a separate discussion to have. Throughout the show we don't get too much of Zoey tbh. Or we do, but the fandom doesn't pay enough attention to her like it does to other characters. Which makes sense ig? At first glance she seems like a one sided antagonist that could be described in simple terms like "girlboss", "mean girl" "popular girl" "annoying" "manipulative" and that's it. But upon further speculation I feel like there's more to her. In ep3 when Jake threatens to reveal to Drew that she has been cheating on Drew, that's the first and last time she seems to soften up and seem genuinely afraid or caring. Like yeah, she doesn't want to lose the privilege of having him as her bf, that's what it seems like.. but I also have the feeling she was genuinely afraid of losing him for reasons other than money? Even though we can assume she acts affectionate towards him only to manipulate him, I feel like, again, there's more than we can tell.

I feel like though, it could've been very possible that they wanted love and affection in general, but didn't love each other specifically? But the Teeth song makes me think that's not the case.

This is what my mom thinks:

(I think they're both desperate tbh)

My mom also thinks Zoey might have had neglectful parents who mostly showed love to her through gifts and money, so that's why she's constantly seeking partners that give her such things, cause she's used to being loved that way - and being unloved as a child can make you have a messed up idea on what love is (this is the same exact backstory most people believe drew has, and honestly it makes sense for them both)

But yeah.

There's also this image, right here: (from extrarosy teeth MEP addition)

Both smiling, looking genuinely happy, faintly blushing. It doesn't seem as fake or artificial as it usually is.

They can't bear to lose each other. They need each other.

Why? That's up to debate. Maybe Zoey is a one-sided antagonist that's only dating drew for money, maybe drews relationship with her was a beard relationship like most people think so, maybe I'm just overthinking this all.

But again, I think they're more complex...

They're so interesting I need to study them under a microscope

Idk what I'm talking about tbh. This is very surface level and there's much more to say tbh but this is all I feel like saying at thr moment

[silvvermoon]

any elaboration on toxic bf! Aki??🥺🥺

yes!! so sorry i've had to disappear for a few days for health stuff and trying to type with new nails is hard haha. oh man, there's so many ways i want toxic bf! aki to go, here's some of my headcanons before i throw it into a proper fic. ALSO, these are tame af oh god i want him to be rougher :')

*YEAH this turned into a drabble good grief

toxic bf!Aki who's kinda clingy but subtle. just wants to keep his arms wrapped around you 24/7. doesn't give a fuck if it's the middle of summer, he just loves the way you feel.

toxic bf!Aki who does all the cooking and cleaning at home so you feel care-free and never wanna move out and away from him (yeah, he always cooks all your fave meals)

toxic bf!Aki who 100% tries to slips a hand down your panties ALL THE TIME. seriously, it doesn't matter if you're on your way to work or see friends, aki just wants to turn you on and have you ride his cock 24/7. he always feels closer to you when he's inside you so yeah, he wants to be fucking your brains out as much as you'll allow him.

toxic bf!Aki who says shit during sex like "keep your eyes on my face while i fuck you, baby. want you to know it's me who's splitting your cunt wide open", and "fucking love your body, love your the way your pussy tightens around my cock like it was made for me. and this princess cunt? it's all mine."

toxic bf!Aki who simultaneously loves showing you, his perfect pretty girl, off to all his friends and the whole damn world, but also hates knowing & seeing other guys oogling at you when you look so gorgeous. his fix? marking you the f up.

and toxic bf!Aki doesn't just mark you with hickeys in the bedroom when he fucks you, no, he loves to bite and nibble your soft skin in public, doesn't give a shit where you guys are. all he knows is that he loves the pretty bruises he's painting on your collarbone. it tells everyone that you're his alone, and the more that know that, the better. he wants everyone to see.

of course toxic bf!Aki doesn't tell you any of this though, doesn't want you to know just how much he likes staking his claim on you. whenever you complain, saying that hickey's make you look trashy, aki just nods and sprouts lies like "mm I know princess, but i get so easily caught up in the moment, just love touching you so much" and that's not really a lie, when he thinks about it

toxic bf!Aki 100% gets jealous sometimes but he'll never admit it. he's definitely not the toxic type to go through your phone or anything, but whenever he's feeling a bit insecure, he'll want you to show him just how much you love him and wanna please him.

and toxic bf!Aki wants you to show that love by getting down on your knees and deepthroating his thick cock until you can't breathe. he'll say shit like "i know you can do it because you love me, yeah? and you fucking love this cock, right baby?"

toxic bf!Aki will always reward you with his mouth though if you give him all your love. he makes sure you never waste a drop of his cum, wants you to swallow it all. your reward? his lips on your cheeks, on the tip of your nose, trailing further down until he reaches your soaking cunt, and then there's nothing you can do other than let him eat you out until you cum over and over again.

and yeah, toxic bf!Aki loves giving you pleasure, but he also loves the idea that you'll become so addicted to his cock and tongue that you'll never wanna leave him. he knows no one else can fuck you just like he does, no one can pull this many orgasms from you, and no ones gonna push you to your absolute limits like aki does.

[cassedyevihtt]

Solitaire and Radiosilence

I have been listening to these audio books again. About how these characters pour their hearts out online. And how people go through trying times but have friends thats there for them.

Examples of this is Tori she suffers alot alone and has to be there for charlie "i am the one thats suppost to be there when these things happen"

She cant bear the thought of someone being concerned and caring for her. But at the end of the day she feels safe with a person and lets him in. This is extraordinary.

Another thing that are common in fiction in general is that these emotional issues get to a high point where shit has got to go down. Like there starts a fire at Tori's school that makes her properly freak out and thats how she and people around her find out abt exactly how depressed she's been feeling.

Or when Tori sees micheal lose that scating competition. And he rages.

That sort of thing never happens in real life. Most of us suffer in silence. And it never gets this high point. It might gradually go over or it stays for a loooong time.

And if it does get a high point, people are never there to see it. Not the people you care abt most anyway.

Cuz u shield the people u care abt. U dont want them to go around concerned.

I freak out over things. It can get hard for me to stand or breathe sometimes and i can get a bit manic. This is all in my head. I can get easily overwhelmed bc i naturally think alot. And notice alot of things. Especially when doing something new. And not fun. Like work. This is just a basic truth for me. Something i need to live with and be patient with.

And when i get like that, sometimes I just want a hug. And other times i want people to fuck off and I just need a break and a snack. And some sleep. And to make a list.

How nice would it be for someone to know and understand that? I dont want people to be like "oh no will she be alr doing these big things she wanna do in her life?" I dont want them to make me doupt myself. I want them to stand by, see me suffer and see me pull through anyway. Like the push and pull. Both "u got this come on one more step!!" And "now u just chill, tomorrow u work"

Radiosilence has a sequence where Francis goes and finds his sister, tracks her down, fools aled's toxic af mother and finds his sister. Aled's sister and Francis and Daniel and Rain all drive 6 hours in the middle of a schoolday to find Aled.

And i feel like this also only happens in fiction. People truly caring for one another and seeing when other people are hurting and DOING something abt it. Solitaire had it realistic "i saw it comming and yet I did nothing" both charlie and tori said this to one another.

I wish someone would do that for me if they knew i was not feeling well. And i wish people would do that without it needing to be "i think she might kill herself" it could just be "mate, i think she's having a stressy day, so lets bake something nice for her and do something fun together" I mean, it doesnt have to get so serious before friends just contact each other or appear without warning and just hang out or talk.

I think, the friends that i have now, i probably wouldnt have taken that roadtrip for them in the middle of my schoolday. I'd think for them to sort it out by themself. Now, with Aled, the character's got a houndred hints that he was not okay. But in real life u cant tell. People just go around lying and maybe stop texting if they even did much in the first place.

I knew one friend was hurting herself. So i asked abt it. This was before i grew up. She talked abt it and i said for her to talk to me abt it from that moment onward. I also showed concern for another friend who had 'issues at home' I said for her to meet me after school one day where she could let it all out, and I would listen. So i did.

Another friend had panic attacks and I tried to show that i was there for them aswell. I tried to ask how they were, if they were getting help (which they were)

But then i went through shit. And i didn't feel anyone was there. I later told a friend myself, but before that no one really noticed.

I am pretty sure my main friend group knew shit was bad for me at some point. I said i'd done something stupid and they'd all ask what and i couldnt tell them.

Now later we dont really talk. My friend that had panic attacks isnt on the same wavelength as me anymore. We dont have the same interests and they have this other friend that is better. And i pissed of their little sister.

Its just. I think I chose the wrong friends. Friends who just wants to use me and discard me when i have nothing more for them to use, when i don't want to listen to their sob stories anymore. There is no genuine "how are u though?" Bc they do ask just to be nice but in reality everyone knows that they wouldnt be able to take the answer. They wouldn't want to hear the real answer. They just want to feel guilty. They want reassurance. They dont want to be there.

I am ready to move away from this place. I want fresh air. New friends that will take initiative. That wont just wait for me to make a move. But actually come around to my house and check up on me, not bc i seem sad but bc thats just a nice thing to do.

That they will call me instead of me just calling them. (For example one friend I called alot but he never called first)

And this is not me wanting pity. I dont do pity. What i want is understanding. And to be seen. Like micheal and Tori. For someone to stop and invest in the energy to get to know me, slowly. Quality time. Pick up cues and pieces of who i am. Not just the rough tough exterior i have (which I love) but the person inside too.

Maybe I'd like it to be more than one person so that I dont enter some Co-dependant relationship/friendship again. Still a bit hard to trust myself or anyone else after something like that. It has always been hard for me to trust others though.

In reality the only one that can save u is urself. It would be nice to have team players though. Real and actual team players.

[blueicequeen19]

Payback

Warning: NON-CON? - JJ thinks she’s his gf & she lets him. Cheating. Angst. Toxic af

I heard him come in. I listened as he stripped out of his clothes then crawled into my bed. My bed. Not my sisters. When his warm body met mine under the covers, I shuddered down to my bones.

“I’m sorry, babe. I don’t want to fight.”

I kept my eyes closed as his hands caressed every inch of my curves, gently rubbing and squeezing. His hands found their way under my sleep shirt and rolled my nipples between his fingers until they ached. They weren’t the only thing aching. My panties were soaked.

“I need you so bad. Don’t be mad at me. I’m sorry I left, I just needed a minute to cool down and John B got me drinking.”

I could smell the alcohol on him. I knew they’d had another bad fight. They were toxic. My sister sucked the life and happiness out of everything whereas JJ was warmth and sunshine. I honestly felt bad for the both of them. They’d be so much happier with other people. This is what needed to happen. My sister was always cheating on him. It’s only fair she got a taste of her own medicine.

I remain “asleep” when he tugs my panties down and positions himself between my thighs, flicking his tongue along my clit without hesitation. It takes everything in me to fight the urge to buck and moan. But I maintain the ruse.

“God, you taste so good. My favorite fucking meal.” His fingers pinch my nipples as he licks my pussy, circling my clit with his tongue then sucking it into his mouth.

“I know you’re ignoring me but your body’s not.” His tongue flicks rapidly against my clit and my body tightens. I refuse to make a sound yet.

“Fine. Ignore me while my cocks in you.” I don’t get warning before he’s pushing inside me, the room filling with the sound of his groans as he fills me. I push past the pain, only a small whimper leaving my lips before his face is buried in my hair as he fucks me.

“Goddamn, this pussy is so good I can barely move.” I dig my nails into his shoulders as I turn my face away from his, biting back my cries as he stretches me beyond belief.

“You’re so wet for me, baby. My cock feel good? Why you holding back them pretty sounds? Afraid to admit defeat?” His lips find my neck and I gasp. Then he bites me. Hard.

I cry out, dragging my nails down his back until he growls, rutting his hips into me harder.

“Mark me, I don’t care. I already said I was sorry. What more do you want?” I turn my head quickly and kiss him hard. His caught off guard but I feel his anger start to dissolve. I moan when his tongue thrusts into my mouth and I taste the whiskey. We kiss and fuck until we’re breathless, the ache between my thighs had finally subsided.

“Cum with me.” JJ mumbles against my lips, hiking one of my legs over his shoulder and holding himself up as his pelvis slaps against mine. I throw my head back into the pillow, my body tightening as my climax raced forward.

I didn’t care that I wasn’t on birth control or that he didn’t have a condom on. I didn’t care about anything except this moment that would never happen again.

“JJ.” I moan his name without thinking.

“I know, baby. Play with your pussy. You’re close.” He cups my jaw, slipping his thumb between my lips just as my fingers find my clit. A zap of pleasure shoots through my body and the I loose the ability to breathe as I climax. I bite down on his thumb but he doesn’t pull away, only fucks me harder until he’s a moaning mess in my ear and I feel a gush of warmth between my legs.

He came inside me.

Because my sister is on the shot.

And he thinks I’m her.

It’s over. The moments over.

“Fuck, you almost ripped my dick off, babe.” JJ goes to kiss me again but I turn my head.

He withdraws him me with a sigh and I quickly clamp my legs closed and turn on my side, covering myself back up as my body shakes with after shocks.

“Please don’t be mad, babe. I love you. I just get so jealous. I hate seeing guys looking at you and talking to you.” JJ groans, rolling onto his stomach and burying his face in my other pillow while still naked. A moment passes and he’s snoring.

I don’t say anything as sleep rapidly approaches despite the mess to come in the morning.

When I wake up, he’s gone. My heart races as I wait for my sister to come in my room and scream at me but she never does. Not even after I take a shower and change out my bloody sheets. I thought I would look or feel different after I lost my virginity but I feel utterly the same. Minus the huge hickey on my neck that takes almost all my concealer to cover.

My anxiety was through the roof. I needed to get this over with. Time to face the consequences. I was ready to get dirty to get even.

I go downstairs for breakfast and am thankful when I find out she never came home last night. I literally sigh in relief when I find her car missing from the driveway. But my peace doesn’t last long because she shows up about an hour later, in last nights outfit. She looks like hell.

We don’t say anything as she ignores me to make a cup of coffee, not bothering to put anything away or clean up her mess. I can smell last nights party and someone’s cologne on her from across the counter.

“Fun night?” I ask, grinding my teeth as I think about her cheating on him again.

“What do you care?” She snaps, not even looking at me as she takes her coffee and goes upstairs. I clean up her mess and just when I hear her shower turn on, the front door opens and JJ walks in.

My heart nearly bursts inside my chest. Oh fuck.

His eyes lock on mine and although his expression is neutral, I know he knows. We remain silent as he walks into the kitchen, pours himself a cup of black coffee and watches me as he drinks it. I couldn’t deal with this.

“Get on with it.” I snap, tying my hair up into a messy bun to stop my hands from shaking. He sits his mug down with a smug smile. My eyes lock on his thumb. Oh god. He has a perfect bite mark all the way around it. From me.

Our eyes lock again and he cocks his head, holding up his thumb.

“You think this is bad? You should see my back.” I can’t say anything as he tugs his shirt over his head and turns, showing me bloody claw marks along his shoulder blades.

JJ turns to face me again, looking satisfied with himself.

“How’s your neck?” He asks, coming closer until he’s directly in front of me. I gasp when he wipes his hand across my neck, smearing the make up.

“Stop it.” I hiss, pushing at his chest.

“Better yet, how’s your pussy?” My cheeks and ears burn as last night flashes in my mind. I can still feel him inside me.

JJ cages me in against the counter, leaning in until we’re almost nose to nose. “You’re probably sore.”

“JJ.” My voice comes off as a whisper, my hand comes up to push at his chest.

“Because I wasn’t gentle.” He growls and my entire body shudders.

“I don’t have to ask if you liked it because I know you did. You let me tear through your virgin cunt and barely made a peep but you sure kept your legs spread and pussy wet.” He leans in until his mouth is next to my ear.

“I bet you even liked tricking me.” JJ whispers, his hand suddenly cupping me over my shorts. I gasp and jerk in his hold but he doesn’t move away.

“You got me good, Y/N. All those times that your sister fucks you over so you get her back by fucking her boyfriend. Kudos to you. That takes balls.” I suddenly hear the upstairs shower turn off and I look to the ceiling before meeting his firey gaze again.

“So here’s the deal. I won’t tell your sister what you did, but you have to keep spreading your legs for me.” I lean away from him, my body shaking uncontrollably as the countertop digs into my back. I can’t even swallow my own spit.

“And I know she cheats on me. The whole island knows. So consider this MY payback.”

Tag list: @lovedetlost @hoebx @strokesofstokes @alizabethcs @carnisidi @famousdestinygarden @i-always-come-back-xoxo @pankowforlife @my-baexht-ls @onmykneesforrafe @slutforsmutsstuff @bethoconnor @hellosexxxysalvatore @mrsjakeseresin @belcalis9503 @maybanks-luver @i-always-come-back-xoxo @adventuresinobx @hopebaker @drewbooooo @itsmytimetoodream @houseofperfecttaste @harlowsgirl @wh0reforstefansalvatore @urmommas @drewbooooo @ogayitsgwen Let me know if I missed anyone! 💕

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

not a request but i have a question or two on your siren character that you wrote with a dark/obsessive alucard, in the piece it is made clear that the siren character has a strong hate for humans due to being stolen from her family and home to be inslaved and sold by them and tries to leave alucard when finding out he is half human. so my question is about how the series ends with village belmont being built around the castle, how do you think the siren would react to alucard bring humans to live in and around their home knowing her history with them? my first thought would be her trying to leave and lashing out at alucard as she would rather be alone in the world then surounded by humans but as she is your character i wanted to get your take on that situation and to ask where or what media you got the sirens physical characteristics from as i have never seen sirens depicted with large dark eyes and am intrested in learning more siren lore

Oooh, that's a good question.

I wonder if, by that time, she'd sort of warmed up to the idea of humans being with Alucard and getting to "trust" him (that or the Stockholm syndrome starts to set it). OR... If like you say, she'd be very angry and distrustful.

I also see this third option of sorting using it to each other's advantage. She sees that even though the humans adore Alucard now for saving them, it won't be that way forever. Eventually, they will learn something they don't like, see a part of him that's more vampire than human, and they will judge him negatively for it. She could use this looming threat to ensure Alucard sees her as his one true partner and confidant, even after Sypha and Trevor return.

At the same time, I see Alucard potentially doing a version of the same thing. He knows our Siren friend is not versed well in human social expectations, so every time he pushes her to socialize, it doesn't end well. Either it's awkward, or she ends up yelling and scaring people, which is at the point where he gets to swoop in and apologize for her behavior. Alucard in doing this, is basically telling her, hey, "I am the only reason these people tolerate you" "I am the only one you can trust still".

It's toxic af but that's the yandere asepct for you lol.

Maybe I should write a Part 2 about it? What do you think?

And for the siren descriptions, I read a bit about Celtic lore surrounding fae and selkies, and then thinking of selkies made me think of seals, and they have dark big eyes, right? They have big rounded pupils to see deep underwater where it's dark, but then those pupils close up when on land.

For our Siren, I think she'd have a protective lens layer for her more 'human' form, that protects the extra large pupil from the harsh sun/UV rays. I also recalled reading a Reddit post about what a realistic mermaid would like, and how she'd need blubber or layers of insulation OR she'd be very skeletal and have translucent skin if she were much further down in the deepest parts of the ocean. So I went with the deeper down theory a bit, which is also why she couldn't get away in a river, even if it was deep enough to swim, she couldn't sustain a long life in that environment.

[moodymisty]

Author’s note: I really enjoyed writing that Lorgar fic, so here’s a little thing in the same timeline. It's very rough and not very good, but I figured I would just dump it here since I had no plans for it anywhere else.

Relationships: Lorgar/Fem!Reader

Warnings: The word 'whore' as an insult, Lorgar being mercurial as usual, This relationship is toxic af but I love it, Implication of sex

Word Count: 1514

“Lorgar?” 

Your blurry eyes see him a short distance away, at the large desk he keeps in his private quarters. You wondered why when he has his own personal study, but the need to write or draft the endless letters, notes, and vox communications that need sending seems to strike him at the oddest of times. Multiple instances have you seen him leave one desk, simply to end up at the other not long after.

When the Primarch hears his name, you see his golden eyes glance up towards you and widen just the slightest. Finishing the word he’d been writing before the ink dries on his quill or drips onto the parchment, he places it in the ink well before getting up. His chair scrapes against the stone floor as it slides backward before he rounds the desk to approach you.

Lorgar takes a moment to look at the sight ahead of him; You lay nearly swallowed by the massive bed, draped in the thin blankets that adorn it. Your body was his canvas not long ago, showing little smatterings of purple on your neck, and surely all around your body in places he cannot see. 

Just like he had imagined. 

“I am sorry,” He kneels at the bedside, and takes your head in his hands as you lay on your side supported by an elbow. His massive palms swallow your jawline, pushing your cheeks just enough so that your lips part.

Lorgar always placates you; Treats you with a goddesshood you don’t feel entirely deserving of.

“I had to finish something before I simply lost all desire to. I will join you again in a moment.” He leans in to steal a gentle kiss just as your eyes glance away, and he feels the most minute turn of your face. He pulls away and his eyes flicker all over your expression, examining for the reason.

“What? Is something wrong?” 

His tone changes so abruptly that it in and of itself almost gives you whiplash. But you don’t answer him right away, which only serves to make his mercurial change in attitude all the more drastic. 

“It’s nothing. I shouldn’t be thinking about it in the first place.”

You don't even know what it was that made you remember this; Perhaps it was the way his voice seemed slightly more hushed than usual. The tone of it brought back an unpleasant memory. One you shouldn't have.

His face loses more of its previous gentle happiness as you think. You know it will fade completely when you admit this, and part of you wishes to have been able to keep your mouth shut. Though you doubt Lorgar will let you go until you say, his hands still gentle around your jaw but now lacking that sort of loving caress from earlier. Lorgar changes emotion so quickly; He could go from the most tender of love, to fury, to the deepest of sorrow.

You always have to tread so, so carefully with him. You know he doesn’t mean it; But it’s incredible how a man so strong, who treads on a line between man and something more- can be so, fragile.

“I doubt such a thing. Please, tell me what is on your mind.”

Your eyes look towards the array of bookshelves across the massive room, collections of tomes from planets both close and far, while your body is swallowed by the thin bedding. His fingers nudge your face to look back towards him. Your lips part in the preparation of speech, but it takes a few moments more before you finally manage to call forth the actual words.

“I, overheard your conversation with your father.”

The words have barely left your mouth when Lorgar bites the inside of his cheek so hard he tastes iron on his tongue. 

He’d been wishing to forget his father's ridicule, and it angers him to know you had overheard even just a moment of it.

It wasn’t meant for you to hear. His father’s feelings should mean nothing to you, yet now they make you worry. Over nothing. He’s made you feel like you don’t belong with him, and that alone makes Lorgar furious. The same fury he’d felt at his father’s references to you, not aware you had been listening in.

He should have denied even entertaining his father's words. That day he had given him far too much lenience. If anyone else had spoken to him in that way, they would've been nothing but blood splattered across the marble floor- pooling in the grout between the tiles.

“I do not appreciate you speaking to me as if I am still a boy.” 

Lorgar turns to his father, the corners of his mouth twitching in want for fouler words to spill from his mouth. His fingers rub against his palm as he resists balling them into fists.

Kor Phaeron acquiesces, if only to give Lorgar the dominance he thinks he can take. He grows furious when he feels he isn't respected, but yet he still seeks guidance from everyone around him; And now, letting himself distracted like a hound. There are cities relying on him, and the whining irritant he calls a son is more concerned with keeping his bed warm.

“You are my son. I worry for you.” A rare sentiment to leave his father’s lips; Lorgar wonders what scalding, seething hatred will leave his mouth soon after.

“You have worlds to conquer, gospel, a legion of men looking to you for orders; Guidance,”  Kor Phaeron's breath comes out as a wheeze, his body strained. The weight of his enhanced body often makes the man sickly, unable to take a strain that a normal Astartes easily could, given their far younger age.

He regains himself quickly. He gives his son a worried look, overshadowed by the want to correct the young Primarch's path.

“You should not be so consumed by a-” He hesitates for a moment.

Kor Phaeron knows Lorgar’s personality; How deeply attached he becomes to even the most seemingly minute of things. He needs to choose his words carefully. Even more so now.

“Do not let yourself become distracted.”

Lorgar loves his pater. But in that moment, he had wanted nothing more than to strangle him. To wring his neck and string him up on the scaffolding.

Distracted. He wants to laugh. How could he be distracted- He’s found his love, the other half of his soul. You give him peace, a rest from the darker reaches of his mind and are a soundboard for his ideas. Your gentle touch and soft voice give him a peace he's never felt before.

No one, not even the man who raised him, will speak of you as if you are just some common whore.

You are not a momentary distraction. You are not some temptress; Something temporary to whet his appetite.

“Do not worry about him.” His frown changes to a smile within moments, his thumb brushing back and forth across your cheek bone. “It is a father’s duty to worry. Even if he encroaches on territory where he ought not be.”

He has been lenient with that worry, but no longer. He is not going to entertain anyone doubting his judgement, or his decisions.

“Now, enough with that. Forget it all.”

Lorgar rises back to his feet, his robes shifting and adjusting as he changes position. You watch him walk around the bed, coming to join you in it. 

It is still the middle of the night, afterall. The lack of him had woken you up, but you still have a bit of precious evening left to sleep. Once he slips back in, his hand brushes over and swallows your shoulder, as he pushes up the strap of your chemise. A gift. One of many, he’s decorated you with so many until you feel about to drown in them. To have something so useless and fragile is such a luxury, but it also feels odd to wear.

“What was it you were writing?” You ask as Lorgar settles back down and watches you lay on your side.

You’re not a stranger to Lorgar having fits of inspiration, but the way he had described it seemed as if it wasn’t the usual sort of thing he works on. His golden eyes look on yours, hooded in a gentle, peaceful expression. Rare, on him.

“A letter. I plan to introduce you to my brothers.” He watches the color drain from your face. He laughs at it, a hand raising up to once again brush over your cheek.

“You worry. Don’t, I am sure they will love you.” His thumb and index finger hold your chin. You see the look in his eyes change, even though his smile remains.

“And if they don’t, they can swallow it.” 

He watches your eyes flicker over his face, your much smaller hand on his arm. He loves the feeling of your gentle touch on his sun-kissed skin, until he pulls away.

“Now sleep. I won’t wake you again, I promise.” 

[mcyt-builds-contest]

To clarify in case people are very very VERY confused why people are clowning on that previous ask:

-There is canonical evidence, plainly stated by multiple parties both in and out of character, that the incident (the Disc Finale) which led to c!Dream being imprisoned was entirely staged/faked

-There are a lot of...unsettling directions taken with the "c!Dream wanted to Completely Control c!Tommy" train of thought. Calling him a doll DOES NOT HELP.

-c!Dream fans have gotten hatred, been chased out of other sub-groups, and been decried as abuse apologists for pushing back that c!Dream was not actually obsessed with c!Tommy (or just liking the character!). We were also called delusional for Staged Finale theory, despite...literal in-character conversations, recorded and clipped...stating there would be a fake betrayal.

Sooooooo, despite technically being on the same side, that person (knowingly or not) kicked a HUGE hornet's nest and lowkey gave some c!Dream fans war flashbacks.

But our ire is solely at people who are like. Denying easily proven and explicitly stated canon in the year of our lord, 2024. The poll itself is merely the avenue in which we have been having a silly laugh. The place I'm in is loving it so far, we fully support you poll-runner!

Whoever is giving them shit needs to go and touch grass tho, what the fuck is wrong with y'all?? THIS IS MINECRAFT. M I N E C R A F T. THE PUBLIC AT LARGE THINKS WE ARE ALL CRINGE WEIRDOS IN HERE.

Stop being fucking weird in MCYT polls on tumblr. I dare you to go tell your parents what you said to this poor person who is just trying to have fun. This is why some people are staying anonymous, you are proving our point about polls getting toxic af.

Can't have shit in MCYT, smh...

Thank you for explaining that, I only know dsmp lore by proxi so I had no idea what was going on

Also I hope the drama has been resolved now please it's a block game not the elections get your priorities straight

[shat-on-the-dick]

So I was rereading Beautiful Carnage last night and it got me thinking about what Pauline and Reiner’s lore would be if they were in a Modern AU. 😼 (I live for their chemistry)

HI HI!!! TY FOR THE ASK AND FOR REREADING THE FIC!!! I have so many scenarios and HCS for them in a modern AU, ty for the ask again!!

In a modern AU, I always think about them in college, so I'll go with that. I imagine Reiner and Pauline meet after he transfers from his previous university to Paradis, due to mental health issues. He was the quarterback for the football team there (I literally know nothing about football, it's just a common HC that I adopted JDJSHS plus he's a player in the school castes universe so).

In his previous college, he was much like his soldier persona, smug, cool looking, everybody looked up to him, everyone wanted to be with him (we stan a bisexual king), he had a scholarship due to his role in the team, good grades, confident, handsome and generally seemed very well put together.

Tho, we all know even in canonverse that he kept his true feelings hidden under this persona, and it eventually cracked in this AU as well. He came from a low-income family (Karina raised him all alone, after all, after the fucker of his father left them), so he had to keep his good grades and his good performance in the team to keep the scholarship. Plus, Karina (like in canonverse) pushed him towards this constructed persona without caring for his true feelings and wishes. Tho, in this version, I imagine Karina didn't want to reunite with his father but rather, wanted Reiner TO BE like his father, even tho Reiner is much more sensitive and caring by nature. I imagine his father used to be this macho type, boisterous, hypermasculine and toxic af. So Reiner wanted his mother to like him more, so he adopted into his persona what he thought would make his mother care more for him.

ANYWAY, going back, his persona cracked after so much time shoving away his true wishes and personality. His grades plummeted and his performance as well, making him lose the scholarship, and you can imagine how good his relationship with his mom became. Depression and anxiety took over. He transfered to Paradis uni to start over from scratch, new people that didn't know him and thus didn't have any expectation of him. Also, I imagine he studies Business administration or physical education.

Enter Pauline: she's the class representative and studies Psychology. She is friends with Mikasa, Armin, Jean and the whole crew, apart from Eren. Eren is her toxic ex-bf (it's a divergence from canonverse, she and Eren didn't have anything there and they were just friends and colleagues).

Eren at some point WAS good for her, building up her confidence and helping her say "fuck it" to her parents who were always travelling for work and left her alone her entire life. At some point, he became toxic and began deconstructing every good trait she had developed, breaking down her confidence, her relationships with other people and her independence. They broke up, but Eren won't leave her alone, even tho there is no chance they get back together.

Anyway, Pauline is calm and collected like in canonverse, she cares deeply for other people (hence studying Psychology and bring class representative) but she's not very easy to approach, since she is really serious, at least in this environment. Other times, she's a party animal, horny on main and has a broken humor.

They meet when Pauline finds Reiner on his first week beginning to have a panic attack, new environment, people and fear or blowing everything up again. Pauline calms him down, and buys him a coffee. Reiner is embarrassed but grateful, he takes her number with the excuse to buy her a coffee in return.

Reiner starts playing for the Paradis football team, Pauline introduces him to everyone, and everyone warms up to him pretty quickly. Reiner sees Pauline as a really cool, interesting and intelligent girl, that hides her warmth under a nonchalant persona. Pauline sees Reiner as a kind and caring guy, really intelligent and capable, even tho he's had it rough. Reiner feels he can be himself with her, like she can with him.

Drama sparks when Eren sees them getting close and starts to bother Pauline even more so, and Historia has her eyes on Reiner, her being the queen bee, so she has to have the new handsome nice guy.

They kiss for the first time when Eren ruins a party for Pauline, she goes out crying and Reiner follows, he drives them far away in his truck and they spend the night, drinking, watching the stars and talking about everything and anything, until they finally kiss.

OOOOF THAT WAS A LOT. No titans, no war, so no betrayal and everything, but their personalities are the same from canonverse, just their relationship that starts off in a better note and doesn't have so many comings and goings.

TY SO MUCH FOR THE ASK AND IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE, ID LOVE TALKING ABT THEM!!!!

Didn't give much background about modern AU Pauline, but if you are interested, I can give more details!