#unironically and completely seriously my god

[yumaisbored]

on one hand, tgcf convinced me life is worth living. on the other, i now have unbelievably unrealistic expectations.

[halfdeadwallfly]

[moe-broey]

Man..

[xyaehir]

need ur attention asap —

SYP — w characters who i think are actually really clingy (secretly or not)

GEN. — fluff

WARN. — gn!reader, clingy characs, pda, sickening couple activities

REQ. — “do you do carlos madrigal x reader.. if yes, could I get one?? i can’t really find any recent ones now and I love your works! if not, that’s completely fine!!! xx”

NOTES. — im literally so bad at sticking to one character 😭 im glad u love my works, have a good day lovely <33

thinking about having a clingy bf who can’t get enough of ur love <3

ur clingy bf! who can’t stop clinging onto you like a koala.

ur clingy bf! who loves back hugging you and discovering different cuddle positions.

ur clingy bf! who shows up to your door at random times with a bouquet of your fav flowers.

ur clingy bf! who has a secret obsession with the sweet taste of your lips.

ur clingy bf! who encourages you to play the chapstick game, a new excuse to kiss you over and over. (he doesn’t even make an effort to guess the flavour..)

ur clingy bf! who pulls you away at any social event to kiss you breathless.

ur clingy bf! who stares at you with a subtle pout as his friends drag him away to do god knows what.

ur clingy bf! who basically uses his status to go see you instead of doing what he should be.

ur clingy bf! who refuses to remove his arms around you in the morning, leading you to quite literally limp around with him attached to your hip.

ur clingy bf! who tries to act stoic in public but his facade crumbles in 5 minutes and his hands are back on your waist.

ur clingy bf! who has a habit of rubbing your noses together.

ur clingy bf! who carries you all different styles and doesn’t care about your protests.

ur clingy bf! who always cradles your face so gently whenever you’re ranting and just stares at you with heart eyes and a big, silly smile on his lips.

ur clingy bf! who pulls you back to his chest when you get even a centimetre farther from him.

ur clingy bf! who gives you another bottle of his perfume to spray on your clothes so you smell like him when you go out.

ur clingy bf! who’s always there for receiving and giving affection, especially on hard days.

ur clingy bf! who’d rather die than leave the comfort of your arms wrapped around him, his safe place.

ur clingy bf! who loves you so much that he has to remind you how amazing you are literally every 10 minutes.

ur clingy bf! who send you those care-packages every month filled with all of your favourite things, skincare, games, books etc.

ur clingy bf! who always matches with you in real life and in every game you two own. (no such thing as u playing a game that he doesnt play)

ur clingy bf! who’s always loud asf whenever he sees you. (mf sprints to u to give u a hug)

ur clingy bf! who calls you every single term of endearment, even the weirdest ones.

ur clingy bf! who definitely unironically calls you his pookie wookie farting glitter boo boo bear. (he says it so seriously too..)

ur clingy bf! who wont let you pay for anything and spoils you with everything he can get his hands on.

ur clingy bf! who would and will give the world to you.

thinking about having a clingy bf who can’t get enough of u <3

bonus!! —

the sound of the iphone alarm rings throughout the bedroom. a mix of deep, raspy groans and soft whining fill the room, replacing said irritating noise.

you reach to tap the ‘snooze’ button but a hand grabs your arm. he stretches a hand out to hit it instead but missed 5 times before effectively shutting it off. he groans, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face into your chest.

“babe, get up. you’re too fat, you’re suffocating me.”

“‘s too early to get up, stop squirming,” he reaches a hand up to your face, trying to cover your mouth before you slap it away.

you wriggle in his grasp before stopping, surrendering to his warmth.

“morning, my sweet waffle with honey, maple syrup and berries on top.”

there was a good few seconds of silence to make you realise he’s not joking and genuinely calls you that.

upon imagining the image of waffles in your mind, the idea obviously makes your stomach grumble. you wanted to get up and make some but forgot about the tired guy on your chest.

with a loud groan, you drag him with you out of bed. you can definitely hear his quiet giggles as he brings the blanket with him, perched on his shoulders while you drag him around.

bonus #2!! —

“i got it, i got it!”

“baby, let me pay for it!” you strain out, struggling against his tight embrace. you can feel the vibrations of his chest behind you as he captures your arms in one hand and tries to put the money in the machine with the other.

you squeal when you free your hands from his vice grip and he tickles you to prevent sticking your money in.

“babe, babe stop! i wanna pay, its my turn.”

“i got it, don’t worry. im not gonna let you pay, ill cover it,” he laughs, taking the cash from your hands and slipping it back into your wallet.

at this point, you’re thrashing around in his grasp, not harsh enough to hurt him though. he has his arms hooked under your shoulders to prevent you from moving forward.

“please, let me pay! i got it, its fine!” he protests through his own laughter.

you throw your head back on his shoulder, giggling while trying to free yourself from his grip. he leans downwards and presses several kisses to your face, successfully stopping your movements.

he paid for you again. hey, at least you tried, right?

— (bllk) NAGI, sae, REO (genshin) KAEYA, CHILDE (star rail) gepard, JING YUAN, SAMPO (haikyuu) SUNA, tsuki, KENMA, KUROO (KNY) TANJIRO, AKAZA (ENCANTO) carlos, CAMILO (ATSV) miguel, MILES, PAVITR () YOUR FAVES

@xyaehir 2023. This is my content, inspired or not. Do not translate, copy or plagiarise my works in any way. Reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated. <3

[comicaurora]

What are your thoughts on guardians vol.3? (If you have watched it) I went into it, expecting it went to the garbage like the rest of the mcu, but I was pleasantly surprised by its creativity, trope subversion, and how it wrapped up the previously unresolved arks of its characters.

That's what I've heard!

The thing is, Guardians 3 could be the most transcendent work of cinema ever made, and I'd probably still feel little to no motivation to watch it at this point. It's not Guardians's fault - it's just suffering from the same problem that superhero comics have been struggling with for decades: no matter how good an individual arc or run is, absolutely nothing good lasts or matters in the long term, and the stories are shaped in such a way that "the long term" is the only thing anyone gets to build towards.

Whenever I complain about the MCU I get a handful of people loudly complaining about my complaining, with the general thesis that if I don't like it I shouldn't watch it or talk about it - if I'm not having fun, just stop engaging with it. And the thing is, I have. I am intellectually interested in why this massive franchise is fumbling the bag so hard, which is why I still check in on it sometimes, but I've long since stopped turning to the MCU for uncritical entertainment. And even the good movies or shows with a lot of interesting ideas - good character arcs, fun concepts, interesting planting for future payoff - don't draw me in anymore, because they're hooked into a massive moneymaking machine that will scrap and squander anything if they think it'll make them more in the quarter. It doesn't matter how good the writing is, because the writers are not allowed to tell a complete, finished story, and they have no control over what happens to their characters outside of their own script.

Captain America's arc was set up from literally minute one to answer one burning question at the core of his character: does a world without a war still need Captain America? After that incredibly basic tee-up at the end of First Avenger, half a dozen movies failed to come up with a reason to say "yes," and now Steve is retired for good after getting fumbled through four different storylines that couldn't even pretend that they needed him (the unused Chekhov's Phone from the end of Civil War still haunts me). The foundational arc of his entire character never happened because nobody bothered to keep track of it past a single movie.

Taika did something interesting with Thor in Ragnarok - take away Mjolnir, force him to recognize what it means to be the god of thunder, give him a very Odin-y missing eye - and the very next movie undid all of it. Just kidding, never mind, here's an eye and a new weapon and also his old weapon again, and in one more movie we're even gonna give him his hair back, probably as an apology for all the completely unironic fatphobia we're gonna slather him in for two and a half hours. I'm not even surprised Love And Thunder was such an overblown mess that barely took itself seriously - why would Taika bother trying to give Thor another arc when the powers that be will just roll it back in six months anyway?

I hear Rocket Raccoon has a fantastic arc in this movie. That's great, and demonstrates that he's being written by a writer that deeply cares about him. But he's part of the MCU, and the MCU doesn't let anything end, so if current patterns hold, Rocket is going to continue to serve as quippy plushie-bait for the next dozen movies and none of that depth is going to come through in the long term. Hell, since they're making Kang noises for the Next Big Threat and Kang's entire gimmick is rewriting timelines, literally none of this is guaranteed to matter. By next year, it might not have even happened anymore.

The MCU has successfully shaped itself into a paradigm where the bright spots of good writing are overridden and lost as soon as the writers room turns over, and that makes it really hard for me to muster up the enthusiasm to watch even a really good movie that's locked into the exact same grist mill as everything else. I'm glad people liked it, I hope it gets to stay good this time - I just have no desire to watch it.

[jade-len]

bad svsss fanfic/au idea: random marriage/guidance counselor transmigrates into PIDW, sees the absolute mess of lord luo bingge and his harem, goes "jesus fucking christ", and makes bank.

and like. they're probably not even that good of a counselor. it's just that people lack any sense when it comes to bingge, and since he's the emperor, that means pretty much everyone. also because therapy doesn't exist. i'll give them some credit though, whatever they hell they're doing works.

now, while sqq and sqh are having a grand ol' time in SVSSS with their husbands, this random, average counselor has to deal with being in the care of lord luo bingge. no wife beam. no anything. all they have is some basic empathy and common sense people just tend to lack in here for some reason.

it's even worse considering the fact that they've arrived after luo bingge completed his plan and became the hailed demon emperor. now, while they've never full on read the entire thing, they've heard enough from a close friend who has kept up with it to know the main character is the literal embodiment of the cycle of abuse and heavy unresolved issues. like, it got to the point where they started to unironically use luo bingge as an example of how to not deal with conflicts and trauma.

really, how could people like bingge? seriously, it's just another edge lord main character with way too many glamorized issues and abuse. red flag! (hey, who the hell is peerless cucumber and why does he keep defending binghe? lord, have mercy on these impressionable young men...)

so, after being kidnapped taken in by bingge and his wives after the bunch claimed that they were a "wise man" or whatever (all they did was offer some basic relationship advice to some poor woman, who turned out to be ning yingying, who told the other wives, and it just spiraled from there), they were deemed "special" and given their personal office and a room! hey, better than being on the streets in this god forsaken hentai-ish world, i guess.

quickly, a routine was established. one that, especially, consisted of luo bingge outright ignoring them. which, they weren't complaining about!

wake up, eat, meet with multiple of the wives, spend their hard earned money on delicious delicacies, meet with more wives, sleep, repeat. the most interaction they had with the demon emperor was him ordering them around, but even then, that was uncommon. it was, surprisingly, easy to fall into the rhythm of this undoubtedly odd life. you're upset that lord luo hasn't spent much time with you? maybe you can ask! the other wives are being annoying? remove yourself from the situation. you're upset that lord luo has so many other wives? oohhh... yeah. uhm.

luo binghe only tolerated them, they knew that. and they're sure that, if not for multiple of his wives insisting on keeping them, they'd be dead for even daring to be so "intimate" with them. a little bit of a shock, if they do say so themself. like, insecure much (something that they'll probably never get used to is the fact that bingge built an entire little village for his wives, though)?

but that's not the most shocking thing, oh, no.

it's this.

"i- i tried.. i tried to take the.. hiic-- other.. other shizun w-with me.." lord luo binghe, the powerful, almighty demon emperor, trembles and sobs. "b-but he! he wanted to-- s-stay with that.. stupid, inferior version of my- hic- self.."

despite the mountain of gold they're getting paid in, is it really enough to deal with this? probably not. will they get killed for witnessing luo binghe's vulnerability? perhaps. is he a dictator, the embodiment of the cycle of abuse, and a crazily vengeful bastard? definitely.

"it's-- s' not.." his voice breaks. something else inside of them probably does, too. "..n-not, hiic- fair."

should they feel bad? they shouldn't. he's hurt much too many people. isn't it a little late? can he even be redeemed? because, they are absolutely not here to try and "fix" him.

and yet.

"can you breathe, lord luo? deep breaths, don't focus on anything else but me, okay? i'll do it with you too. can you do that for me? there, there. you're doing a very good job, do you know that? here, when i'm upset, sometimes i like to do something called, '5-4-3-2-1'. i promise it'll help, binghe. would you like for me to do this one with you too?"

they can't help but think about a small, lonely boy on qing jing peak.

. . .

after that, bingbing slowly starts to come around and develop an actual bond! cool!! he just,,, can't believe only his wives were granted the "wisdom". how foolish was he?

"i know i'm only a mere human, but i can tell that lord luo is... masking things. you can put that away for now, okay? i promise, everything you say here will be confidential information, and it'll never leak... no no there's no enemy spies here-"

"i'm not even going to question this. you go back there right now and deal with it yourself if you cannot respect me or the other clients. aka, your wives."

"no, it's not stupid. this is how people help themself, and it's okay if you want to do it. as long as it doesn't hurt you or anybody. it helps, and that's all that matters."

"oh? one of your wife confronted to you about it? i'm glad to hear that, she's doing well, i see. i'm also happy that you're listening too, really."

"yes, and when something like that happens, you--- no- don't pull out xin mo now. what did we say about that? good job."

"here, can i touch your hands, binghe? there we go. when you're unsteady, you feel the need to pick at your skin, correct? well, let's try a few different things to keep those hands busy! it must be quite stressful being an emperor. how about we start with crocheting! it's quite popular back at my hometown."

"your mother sounds like a wonderful woman, lord luo. hey, how about you take a small break and visit her, okay? you want me to come with you? of course, it'd be an honor."

and thus, the story of the poor transmigrator counselor continues on with luo bingge added to their schedule!! this could be read as romantic or platonic lol. but i was thinking of this as luo bingge obtaining his first actual friend. it takes a long while due to bingge's... bingge-ness, but eventually it all works out lmao

[aramynx]

DENKI KAMINARI HEADCANONS...

*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.* *.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.* *.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

⚡︎ sweetheart, sugar, baby

⚡︎ never takes anything seriously- unless it’s actually something really serious! then he activates his singular brain cell

⚡︎ “what’s cookin’ good lookin’?”

⚡︎ and he says it at least twice a day, oh my god

⚡︎ laughed when you asked him out on a date because he thought it was a prank, and cried from guilt when you told him you were being completely serious

⚡︎ worships you like a goddess and you have no idea if it’s a just bit he’s committing to or not

⚡︎ pizza and mario kart date nights, except he short circuits the console when things get too tense so neither of you ever win

⚡︎ “god damn it not again! i was so close to beating you!”

⚡︎ he was actually in 11th place

⚡︎ jumpscares you as often as he can

⚡︎ you can NOT let this man’s hands go anywhere near your stomach. he WILL tickle you- and you’re scared.

⚡︎ every time his hands get close to your stomach you tense up and he finds it so funny-because he wasn’t even going to do anything this time. and he always acts so offended and pouty about it!

⚡︎ “woooow babe i can’t believe you don’t even trust me, your own boyfriend, i would never ever tickle you”

⚡︎ spoiler alert: he did tickle you

⚡︎ the worst sweet-talker ever. all of his flirting is so brainrotted it makes you cringe; sometimes you wish he would stop trying to flirt with you :(

⚡︎ unironically uses the word ‘rizz’

⚡︎ spams you with dumbass tiktoks 24/7, and they don’t even make sense?? like weird edits of cats

⚡︎ “babe its literally me”

⚡︎ get this man to TOUCH GRASS

⚡︎ he can actually be sweet when he wants to be though- he’ll bring you sunflowers on bad days

⚡︎ he charges your phone for you whenever you want!!

⚡︎ touchy feely 24/7, he can NOT keep his hands off you- he just has to be touching you if he’s able to!

[wonysugar]

hate rodrigo (literally) | aeri uchinaga

a/n: this is not even a fic this is a tiny little one shot that i wrote yesterday night AT LIKE TWO AM due to thoughts we had in a discord server ahem anyways I FELL ASLEEP THO. soo have this now!!

genre : really bad crack smut like i genuinely have no idea how to describe this

word count : like 600 something?

tags : one shot, smut (obvs), crack, ptv mention, falling in reverse mention, olivia Rodrigo mention, mcr mention, taylor swift mention (sorry @pupyuj)

pairing : angsty!giselle x whitegirlmusic!femreader (I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO LABEL THISSFJEKF)

your music taste wasn’t something you particularly shared with people, but you didn’t hide it, either. to you, it was music, nothing more, nothing less.

however, one of your friends, aeri, took music very, very seriously, and it really showed. she had a certain aesthetic, she wore certain things and god, did she listen to certain music.

“no like i genuinely can’t grasp the fact that you unironically listen to olivia rodrigo?” she laughed, leaning back on her bed as you stared at her in disbelief.

“god aeri, some of her songs are good, you just haven’t tried them.” you snapped back, wearing a convinced smile as you proceed to jokingly hit her arm.

“okay, sure, whatever. but just imagine getting to know someone, going on dates with them, all the sha-bang. then, when it’s time to get down and freaky, they turn on their sex playlist and motherfucking driver’s license starts playing??”

she was basically cackling at that point and you couldn’t do anything to stop it. defending your cause seemed like it would’ve been difficult, with how far up her own ass she was.

“yeah, because that isn’t a sex song? olivia rodrigo doesn’t make fucking sex music?? try putting a falling in reverse song while you get naked, see how that works out for you.” you fight back.

“oh i don’t know about you, but i’d be soaked for sure. plus, anything would be better than hearing young adult women sing about their previous relationship like it was a war they fought in.” she kid, crossing her arms in victory, as if she even won the argument in the first place.

“i’m gonna make you swallow those words right back up, uchinaga.”

“try me, l/n.”

-

“f-fuck y/n, go- mmh- slower..”

so, it wasn’t supposed to happen this way!

it originally was just the both of you, taking turns and putting different songs on the bluetooth speaker and rating them based on ‘how wet it got you’.

turns out, while that was a theory stage, there seemed to be a practice one too, and you’ve been in it for the past 10 minutes now.

thrusting your fake cock in and out of her, paying no mind to the very loud, very obnoxious pierce the veil song that was playing in the background, you pinned her hands above her head. your pace increased with time, and the decibels of her voice increased with the pace.

“oh my god y/n pleasepleasepleasepleasee i’m s-so sorry i- fuck me- i didn’t mean-“ she cried, poor thing probably didn’t even realize that her black eyeliner was running all over her cheeks. her arms and legs wrapped around you,

“shut your fucking mouth and take it, you emo fucking cumslut.” you slammed your strap into her as she yelled out your name. while she was pleading and begging for something, you were on top of her perfect laying-in-mcr-bedsheets body.

she, herself, wasn’t aware of what she was begging for, her mind was completely blank. all she could think about was how good her pussy felt when you pounded it so violently, when you were being so aggressive with her that you just used her body however you wanted.

you thought that whole thing would be a one-time occurrence, but no, it happened a second time, when she said that taylor swift had mid music. was she doing it on purpose or something?

anyways,

yes, you fucked her with the 1989 album playing.

[iceyrukia]

I unironically think Tite Kubo is a misogynist for making Or1hime and Ich1go end up together.

And I'm not just saying this because ichiruki is my OTP but it's because the fact that this man knows how to write romance and ichiruki's bond is top notch even when you compare it to actual shoujo pairings - he could have written ich1hime into something that developed slowly over time that maybe could have at least made sense and delved into something organic, but till the very end they felt like awkward acquaintances. The gap in closeness between Ich1ruki ('more than friends less than lovers') vs the cannon Ich1hime ship bond is quite frankly jarring like there is seriously no competition. Now renj1ruk1a, while I'm not enthusiastic about, at least had something to it but again, comparing Ich1go's and Ruk1a's relationships with other people aside from the one that they have with each other, Ich1go's and Or1hime's relationship is hands down one of the most lackluster in the show. Heck, Ich1go even had a more dynamic relationship with Ury*u, Chad and even T4tsuki for god's sake.

I really think that the only reason Ich1hime ended up together is because Ich1go is the male hero lead and the "appropriate" love interest in Kubo's head was a woman who fit the "ideal" woman to start a family with and that's where Or1hime fits the bill. She's the typical ideal shy and submissive Japanese girl ( not to mention the ridiculous breast size) who is motherly and completely smitten and devoted with the male lead and I guess Kubo thought that was peak heterosexual romance as opposed to the duo with the sun and moon symbolism and moving 'she stopped the rain' 'i wonder if i can keep up with the speed of the world without you' poetry.

Also, you would think that male authors who put so much work into their male leads would develop the romantic bonds and individual character of whatever female love interest they plan to pair up the precious male hero but NOPE - they often don't do that and it's where you can clearly see men's misogyny and how little women matter to them.

And when you have a story where you can actually see the male author write such a beautiful deep relationship between two opposite sex characters without bullshit gender roles and then go ahead and make one pairing (involving one of the main characters) that fits patriarchal gender roles cannon ??!!! - in the same fucking story where you can directly compare them - it's the misogyny I'm afraid.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Thought: Wukong and Erlang are actually super chill with each other but PRETEND to hate each other around strangers so no one starts asking inconvinuent questions like "Hey, why did you let so many monkeys on FFM go if you were supposed to burn the place to the ground?" And so they end up having conversations like:

Erlang: Seriously? Your successor had the same name as my dog? Dude, that's so funny.

Wukong: I told you, it's not the same, they're spelled different!

Erlang: But they still sound the same.

Wukong: Gods, you're so-

Erlang: Hey, someone's coming, get in character!

Wukong: UNBELIEVABLY PRETENTIOUS! I HATE YOU WITH ALL OF MY BEING!

Erlang: NOT AS MUCH AS I HATE YOU, MONKEY!

Mac: Guys, chill it's just me.

Definitely.

You see... Erlang was a big brother-figure to Wukong when the monkey started working for the stables and later the orchard. But they had a Big falling out because of the celestial war, the ensuing fight on FFM, and the capture that led the Monkey King into the Furnace.

Even with an uncomfortable reunion in Jttw to fight the Nine-Headed Monster - Erlang and SWK's brotherly bond still holds. Wukong knows that his bro wouldn't have burnt FFM unless no other miltary option was available to him; in Wukong's mind it was either the fire on the mountain, or it would have been complete annihilation of his fellow monkey yao from Heaven.

Fun fact: one chinese media theory I read mentioned that Erlang's "mercy" to the monkeys of FFM was likely to warn/evacuate them before the fires were set by Heaven - hence why so many monkeys survived and why Wukong welcomed him with open arms later on.

Even with the following debacle of "The Lotus Lantern" (a tale which Erlang Shen was the antagonist, though not without reason), the demi-god and monkey yao still consider eachother brothers.

The issue in the modern day, especially in the LMK verse? Status in Heaven.

Erlang and his sworn brothers were barely considered mortal mercenaries to the Celestial Realm before the war. Afterwards though? He became a Heavenly General. Outclassing even the Pagoda King in military respect. It was an insane promotion for the demi-god. He's now working directly with his uncle, the Jade Emperor, and is privy to the true cruelty the royals can dish out.

And exactly what the Emperor and Queen Mother think of his brethern.

To reference the most chilling scene in animation history (Prince of Egypt):

Jade Emperor: "Oh my boy... they were only mortal."

Erlang Shen can't risk the world knowing his true thoughts. How much he cares about his wild little brother. How much he actually knows is going on.

Yang Jian doesn't want to lose another sibling.

So yeah, in public the two pretend to hate eachothers guts. Only the Plum Hill boys themselves + Xiaotian Quan actually know that the two meatheads are thick as thieves. It takes Macaque a while to understand why Wukong dares to associate with the man who "burned our home". But a few incidents in the coming years leads Macaque to realise that the all-seeing God is deliberately ignoring some intel that could have spelled disaster for their new family.

Erlang (has the Third Eye): "The Harbringer's presence is still lurking on Earth. You, the Six Eared Macaque have been returned to the world of the living after so long. Not only that, but you and the Monkey King are living in secrecy among demons and humans alike raising a child of unknown powers..."

Macaque: *poised to start fighting*

Erlang: "...It's none of my business either way. Congrats on the baby, and your reunion as well. Bro would not stop talking about you when he was drunk." *leaves a baby-shower gift*

Macaque (has lie-detecting ears): "What the..."

Btw Erlang is def the type of (sworn) uncle to unironically get MK a dog toy as a baby shower gift. ("What? You'll thank me when he starts teething.")

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

hey hye hey im back

(making this my second home)

grabs you by your neck

HAND OVER YOUR HANDLER HEAD CANONS OLEASE

Okay! Okay! I'll give you what you want!

Handler headcanons here we go.

So he is so soft. Like he only likes feel good movies. Romance, Disney movies, and ones with not a lot of conflict. He sees a lot of death on the job and just... Doesn't want to deal with that outside of work hours.

He does have a bit of a skewed sense of justice though. After years of working in the agency, the phrase "an eye for an eye" means something a little different. A little darker. He doesn't flinch at a gun shot, or his agents blowing things up. Enemies are more like a number on a spreadsheet rather than actual human beings.

But by God does this man care for his friends so deeply. When he found out about Roxana working for Zor, he wasn't just betrayed because it's his colleague working for his enemy. It was his family turning their back on him personally.

But he forgives just as easily.

He likes to pull pranks in the office on the good/slow days. He has been asked to stop. That's partly why REALLY cares for Agent Phoenix's antics. HE can't get away with things now that he's one of the big shots in the EOD but Phoenix can. And Phoenix DOES.

He has an immense love of animals and they love him back. They can sense his good vibes and flock to him like he's a Disney princess singing in the woods. He could literally go into the woods and see like 100 animals. He has pet a deer before. He has photo evidence. He loves to bird watch from his office.

Reginald has insanely good luck. There have been times that he disarmed a bomb completely by accident. Sometimes he swears that his good luck transfers to his agents when they're on missions. How else did Agent Phoenix manage to live all those times?

But that doesn't mean that every mission is a success. He's seen a lot over the years and goes to therapy regularly. At least as regularly as the job allows. He's in and out of the country just as often as his agents are so if he can, he'll do online therapy sessions.

He has to keep busy. He's not one to sit around and do nothing. He NEEDS to be doing something. So he has taken up just about every hobby that he can while in the office. Knitting, crochet, writing. He loves to write murder mysteries but everyone tells him it's so obvious who the killer is. He doesn't care. He writes them and leaves them in people's offices for them to read.

Anything he knits is also distributed through the EOD. He's surprisingly good at it, actually. People love getting a pair of mitts from him and scarves are fought over. They're really cute and have really cute designs on them. All of them have the EOD logo on them.

One time he knitted so many things that he decided to donate them and the shelter actually had no room for all of them.

Agent Phoenix does not admit to it ever but every time he makes them something, they keep it forever. If anything gets damaged while on a mission they lose their mind over it.

He wears Crocs unironically.

Can't cook to save his life. Has literally never turned the stove on in his house. It's there for show.

He always wanted kids but was told very young that he was unable to have kids. He thought about adopting but he was always so busy and his work was so dangerous that he never let that thought be anything more than that. A thought. Once he learns that Agent Phoenix has no family, he takes the role of father figure so seriously that he almost starts believing that he is Phoenix's biological father.

That's why it hurts him when he believes Agent Phoenix to actually be dead. He has never hurt more than the brief time after the Juniper incident when he thought Phoenix was actually gone. Nothing in his life had ever hurt that much.

[max1461]

I mean to be fair on your sister's behalf you do tend to say things that are under-researched and clearly coming from a POV limited to your fields of study and then immediately get hyped up by your followers for it. Not like an atrocious moral failing, but shows a lack of perspective tbh.

Often when you are on my dash you are "There's Max who didn't do the requisite research and said something kind of ignorant assuming their fields of study are the only topics at hand in this discussion." And it's sad because you do seem super fucking wise and well read when you actually know wtf you're talking about.

I think you didn't pick up that the whole thing was banter; my sister saying I wasn't wise was banter and then me asking my followers to disprove her was me including all you guys in the banter, it's a fun little game. It's fun to get a bit megalomaniacal with your internet persona and talk about how wise you are and shit but I don't actually believe I'm god's gift to the earth. We are just having silly fun on my blog.

A good 90% of my posts are not serious. They're either outright jokes and intentional absurdities (these are easy enough to spot), or they're elaborations on an intentionally silly premise (like when I talk about all countries being either "Americas" or "Europes"), or they're unironic but completely off the cuff, not assertions of some deeply held belief (like uh, that post I made recently speculating about Onision's psyche). Absolutely none of these posts are meant to be taken seriously, or to reflect in a genuine and thoughtful way how I view the world. And I do think I do a fairly good job of cordoning them off from my genuinely held viewpoints, both in terms of writing style and in terms of tagging/blog organization. I can sort of understand how you could get confused, because the internet is fully of people who say very silly things and mean them very seriously. But I think I've given everyone all the tools to distinguish my silly posts from my serious ones very reliably, so it falls on my readers to actually do that.

[empyrangel]

Finally got around to doing the Arlecchino story quest and I gotta say. what the fuck. genuinely this might be the worst story genshin has ever put out

I was so hyped for it between all of the quests in Fontaine being so good up until now, and the trailer making it seem really dramatic and tense and like it was really going to go in depth about the dynamics in the house of the hearth, just for it to be as boring as it was frustrating.

Part of what made it such a bore to sit through is that we already knew exactly what was going to happen in it. They spoiled so much of it with that terrible amine short they put out prior to the quest. There was no mystery or suspense around Clervie’s identity or all the terrible things she was accusing the house and the Knave of because we already knew she was Arle’s childhood friend and she was talking about the old Knave and not the current one. Seriously, why did they release that short before the quest? And everything that wasn’t spoiled beforehand was painfully predictable. When they were talking about Arle executing people for just wanting a better life than being forced to work for a terrorist organization, I knew there was no way they were going to commit to that. That is way to absurd and cruel and they were absolutely going to chicken out from making Arle villainous so it had to be a red herring. I joked to myself that there was going to be some big reveal about how actually Arle hasn’t been killing these people, she’s just been putting them in witness protection and giving them new civilian identities to live under. And you’re fucking telling me that they actually pulled that shit? Like unironically that was the route they chose to go with? That’s laughable.

This applies to the anime short as well as the quest, but Crucabena was such a one-dimensional cardboard cutout of a character. She was evil to an absurd, almost comical degree, and that’s literally all she was. It’s so obvious she only exists to make Arle look like a better Knave by comparison (and to give her a pathetic sob story of a childhood). She’s not even her own character and she only exists as a foil for Arle, that’s ridiculous.

And that leads into my biggest problem with this quest, which is not only how they absolutely refuse to let Arle be portrayed as a villain or even a morally grey character, but how that leads to insane levels of favoritism that simultaneously harms her character, the characters of everyone else in the quest, and the story itself. I mean the narrative really bends to Arle’s favor in a borderline Mary-Sue-like manner.

She’s all-knowing, apparently. She just knows about both of the plots going down behind her back with no explanation as to why and no prior characterization of her as being omniscient. She knows because she’s ✨special✨ and she just does. Neuvillette has been established to have the power to resonate with and read people’s emotions, but oh so conveniently he can’t read Arle’s emotions. No explanation as to why except that she’s just ✨special✨ and ✨emotionally repressed✨ and he just can’t. She’s also omnipotent btw, because we can’t have the audience believing that Arle is anything other the most perfect most special girlie in Teyvat. The traveler has fought and won against gods, and dragons, and dragon gods, and three other harbingers? Well fuck all of that because they can’t beat this mortal human with ✨special✨ fire magic. Did I mention how strong and special she is? What even was that fight though? Again, the trailer hyped it up so much just for it to fall completely flat. The traveler didn’t manipulate the elements, why not? Were they even trying? Arle just showed them some vision and it completely disabled them. But the audience doesn’t have the context as the what the vision was or what it means (because god forbid we ever get any traveler lore) so it just feels like some lazy cop-out to make sure Arle won the fight no matter what, because she’s the most specialist girl and she’s the best at everything. Can’t have her looking weak.

And that’s another thing, Arle doesn’t have any weaknesses or character flaws. Technically she does, for example she is extremely emotionally repressed. But the narrative isn’t aware that’s a flaw and therefore doesn’t treat it like one, instead she’s treated like the pinnacle of existence. She’s all-knowing, undefeatable in combat, immune to all other characters abilities, a master manipulator, she always has the upper hand against everyone else, she’s intelligent, organized, ruthless, unable to be influenced by emotion, she’s everything except a well-rounded character because this game is so insistent on keeping from Arle from actually being shown as a villain that they somehow did a 180 and made everyone think of her as a hero and the greatest thing since sliced bread. And that leads me to the worst problem with this quest.

The massive Arle dick sucking contest that is the end of the story quest. What the hell was that? Instead of killing people for simply wanting a better life, it turns out Arle forcibly removes people’s personalities and sense of self in a process that is explicitly stated to be extremely painful, and then drops them off in the court of Fontaine with no memories and no idea who they are to fend for themselves for the rest of their lives, but apparently since she doesn’t kill people everyone starts worshiping the ground she walks on? Did everyone conveniently forget that Arle forces children to join the house, then manipulates them into not trying to leave by pretending that the penalty for that is death, and then when people inevitably begin to hate her for being a piece of shit, she removes people’s personalities and sense of self in a process that is explicitly stated to be extremely painful, and then drops them off in the court of Fontaine with no memories and no idea who they are to fend for themselves for the rest of their lives. And on top of that, she’s brainwashed the children of the house to believe that not wanting to forcibly work for a terrorist organization for the rest of your life is the same as betraying your family. And she made the siblings believe that they had to fight her and win to get her to spare the other members when she was going to do that already. Let’s not pretend all that’s not extremely fucked up.

But then you have the two npc’s who were wanting to leave apologizing to her because they were pissed she forced them into the house and made leaving illegal? Like wtf are you apologizing for, you guys are completely in the right? And Lynette and Freminet, who had been beaten by Arle so badly they said they couldn’t move for two days were like “Well that wasn’t even 1% of her power, she could’ve killed us if she wanted to but she went easy, we’re very grateful for that.” Grateful for fucking what? That she didn’t kill you? That’s absurd. And Lyney, who is currently being groomed by Arlecchino to soon take her place in the cycle of abuse, thanks Arle for sparing him and letting him be in the house. He calls her a hero. These people think they actually owe Arle lives for bringing them into the hearth wtf. When I said that the Arle favoritism was ruining other’s characters besides her own, this is what I meant. The siblings could have had some development in this quest. They could have finally woken up to Arle’s manipulation and we could have some nuance to their opinions on and loyalty to Arlecchino while still having them stay in the house because it’s the only home and family they know. But no, all of that got trashed in favor of showing the audience how great Arle is for not killing and experimenting on children and how everyone loves her, and is blindly obedient, and never questions her.

But I think the worst of it was Clervie. We get that whole backstory about how Clervie dedicated her life to seeking freedom and opposing Crucabena’s terrible way of leading until she couldn’t take it anymore and decided the only way to be free was to die. And then she witnesses everything that happened at the ruins. Arle threatening to kill people just for wanting to leave a place they never chose to be a part of, the people begging and crying for their lives, Arle demanding that rules must be upheld above people’s lives, the blatant way Arle was using “loyalty” to manipulate the people in the house, her making the siblings fight her with the lives of the other members on the line, her painfully removing people’s memories and personality and kicking them out. Clervie saw all that and still told Arle that she was a good Knave and Clervie approved of what she did. At this point the game might as well just come out and say “See! Everyone loves Arle and thinks she’s the greatest. Even her friend who opposed the old Knave for being cruel thinks she’s doing a great job. That means you have to like her too. Pay no attention to what an actual piece of human shit she is and just admit that she’s the specialist and the bestest character :)” because honestly that would have been more subtle than all this bullshit.

And what really gets me is that in the quest they explicitly made a point about how sad it was that the children except for Arle and Clervie were too brainwashed to realize how cruel the old Knave was, and then they went and pulled that ending. This goes beyond irony.

Only good part of the quest was that conversation between Lyney and Freminet at the beginning and Lynette calling everyone a dumbass. This whole quest should’ve just been them.

I had such high expectations because all of Fontaine so far, from the archon quest, to the world quests, to events, to story quests have been almost perfect. I’m so pissed that we’re leaving this incredible nation on such a sour note.

[cowboy-robooty]

Robooty Reviews: Killer Crush (10/10) PERSONAL FAVORITE

Professional killer Joo Taeman has found himself completely head over heels with Korea's biggest heart throb actor Kang Da-Hyuk. Not to be confused with the average hobbyist serial killer, Joo Taemin's professional is his legitmate career and he has endured severe training mentally and physically his entire life to be up to the job. But suddenly he finds himself melting from the mere glance at Da-Hyuk's "boy next door" smile! This manhwa is packed to the brim with comedy and cute pannels. IF YOU LIKE ROBOOTY STYLE ITAGER YOU WILL LIKE THIS.

First review eeheehee! And whats more fitting than to continue this draft i made all the way back in March 2023? Dont expect proper summaries for the next ones lol. but ohhhh my god... this one is so good okay. ITS SO FUNNY AND AAUGWHHS ITS LIKE ROBOOTY ITAGER ADJACENT. LIKE FUCKING TRUST ME RN OKAY. THIS READS LIKE AN ITAGER AU TO ME ALRIGHT GUYS ITS NOT FULLY THE SAME OBVIOUSLY BUT IT HAS LIKE... COCAINE. COKE-HYENA! IF YOU LIKE THE SHIT I MAKE YOU WILL MOST DEFINATELY LIKE THIS!!!!!!

The romance is so cute too and ohh my god this art is to die for it's sooooo good.. I wish i drew as good as the author.... IM SO MAD THAT I DONT KNOW HOW TO ORDER THINGS USING A KOREAN WAREHOUSE ADDRESS BECAUSE THERES OFFICIAL PLUSHIES AND I WANTED ONE SOOOO FUCKING BAD AUGH **TEARING GRASS OUT OF THE EARF**

Anyways rn it's on hiatus because season 2 finished and I'm going to cry I need season 3... I wish there was a physical print of this PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MAKE A PHYSICAL PRINT I WILL BUY EVERY SINGLE VOLUME. This is my first post and it's a 10/10 but no seriously guys. I dont give out 10/10s like candy alright. It's that good. This is unironically the only yaoi manga that I would feel comfortable recommending to anyone because its just a genuinely good comic. (It's not my all time favorite yaoi, but it holds second/third place with another manga I'll talk about later).

I love this shit. it's hilarious. I don't laugh often while reading yaoi (such a shame) or well even laugh often while reading manga (I need more comedy in mai life), but this made me laugh a whole lot. So good...... please read this I am begging you

[bnnuy-wabbit]

Cunospig -> bnnuywabbit

Name's Lago. I'm 22.

My art tag is #feral art tag

My asks and messages are disabled due to spam. If you want to contact me you can send me asks in any of my other blogs (Like @marmenlade, that's my OC/aes blog), send a submission and pretend it's an ask, tag me anywhere and/or comment on any of my posts INCLUDING THIS ONE, call my actual real phone number in real life, scream my name really loud or even reach to me through the ether. Seriously. Feel free to talk to me if you so happen inhabit a human shaped shell at this moment in time.

I'm prone to note spamming mutuals btw! I personally love being note spammed. It's a love language. To me.

If you happened to stumble upon this blog, you Must Know that I'm obsessed with many things like Sandman as of writing this post!

I'm Brazilian. As in from Brazil. As in Born There and Living There till my eventual demise, possibly. If you also happen to be one of those or adjacent, feel free to hit me up. É nois 🤙

I treat my blog as an open diary. There'll be cool things about my life and things in excited abou t and things that make me upset and general life shit. I also talk a lot about my little brothers endeavors because i love him and he's my little creature. If any of this or the stuff i blog about bothers you, i recommend not following. Also this blog contains adult stuff because im an adult, so follow at your own risk and/or pleasure! I think you should be in control of what you use your eyes to look at. I ain't a cop.

More info under readmore!! But only if you feel like it.

Other than the aforementioned, i have Many other interests that Can and WILL show up here, like:

My OCs and worldbuilding

Portal

Half life and hlvrai

Disco Elysium

Stranger Things

Homestuck

Whump stuff

FNAF

Literally whatever show and game im currently watching or playing.

SO, so many bands

I'm VERY into music. My favorite genres are 00s pop, industrial, heavy metal when it's a joke, classic rock, synthpop and mpb. I love learning more about music and getting to know new music genres. Autism list moments. Feel free to throw some at me!

Random info: I use emojis and smileys unironically. I just love to pepper my texts with some emotion here and there. I promise there's no sarcasm associated to my emojis and smileys. If i send i smiling smiley i Mean It. I also add !!!! To them if I'm particularly excited. Tone tags are confusing to me, I don't use them.

Regarding The Me: I'm queer and weird about it! My gender is completely none of my business. Also I'm an Artist and creator at heart, so i draw a lot, i like sculpting things with clay and foam, i love doing collages, i like playing my guitar and sometimes i write fucked up things for fun because it's Fun, tho i wouldn't call myself a writer. I'm diagnosed audhd. I'm weird and not in a cutesy way sometimes, but at least I'm funny about it i think!

I'm uhhhh a med student with a background in AG/rural sciences (vetmed + fishing) which ig is kinda funny. The funniest thing about me is I'm an honest to god fishing technician. I have a fucking diploma in fishing. I have no idea how or why, it still baffles me to this day that i made it through fishing school!! I have plenty thoughts on the ag/fishing field as a whole and a bit of experience with Some Things. I've worked in a few labs and written and published a few papers and I've wanted to be a Real Scientist when i grew up since i was a kid :) I don't know what I want to be when I grow up now. Maybe work in emergency services or something. Or maybe. Perhaps do something research related. I am Nosey.

I'm surprisingly a bit shy, even though nobody believes me when i say it! I'm getting over it, though. Please feel free to send an message somewhere asking for my discord if you'd like to chat. My messages are off for nonmutuals because I'm tired of getting spambots and my asks also. But i post a lot. Seriously just respond and go like 'oh hey can i DM you' and I will DM YOU. One thing i MUST state upfront if you'd like to talk to me and be friends: I'm trying to get better at talking to people. I'm soooo not very good at it. Don't blame yourself if our conversations fall flat. Talking and initiating conversations with people is Hard, but I'm alright at keeping conversations going if you tell me about your likes and dislikes or if you wanna do small talk! My cheat sheet is: Talk to me about your favorite weather, your timezone, what you like learning more about, about your country and culture or your favorite types of music and your favorite bands! Tell me about yourself, please!!! ALSO. Talk to me about fandom. Feel free to complain about petty things, I do enjoy a good complaint. And passionate rants. I'm told i can be cool to talk to if we get to know each other, I'm told I'm a very trusting, agreeable and judgementless individual. I like to believe that is true. To be fair, I'm eager to make new friends and learn more about people and we'll surely bond over something, I'm absolutely sure 🥰.

I have a lot of blogs. Like a LOT. I'm not going to link them all here, but they ARE linked to my main somewhere. Probably. Have fun collecting them all or something. It's wayyyyyy too many.

Here's my favorite one: @marmenlade

I think that's about it.

Updated: 7.jan.25

[imminent-danger-came]

Hello friend. At first, I thought it was a joke that there's a Lego show that people love. I've seen you post about it a lot so I figure it's just one of those things that maybe a couple people really really love otherwise, whatever. But I just sat that clip of that characters death and it made me realize I know nothing about anything ever lol. What is the Lego show about? What do you love about it? I'm just super curious

Well. Okay. My embarrassment aside, I totally get it—it is a lego show, but it's my lego show and I'll gladly tell you about it!

(my apologies this got a little long)

*inhales cigarette* I remember starting to watch lmk (Lego Monkie Kid) and not expecting anything except some very pretty animation—it's just legos, right? And then it completely blindsided me. Then I did some digging and realized it's a modern retelling of Journey to the West (jttw—one of the great classic chinese novels), and that half of the whole reason this show exists is to retell a familiar tale to the modern age. That's how the show opens, and that's how s3 ends.

And, at the risk of sounding a little deranged, I'm going to say that the show being legos is thematically relevant. It legitimately adds to part of the story they're trying to tell—and the story Lego Monkie Kid is trying to tell is legitimately very solid. It's super good. They completely blew me out of the water with season 4.

So. The first special and s1 isn't anything too unique on a first watch through. The characters are charming and the show is very pretty, but it's nothing I'd write home about (though, 1x09 is very good—in my opinion—and 1x10, the season finale, builds plenty of intrigue).

But here's the thing: legitimately so much is set up in s1 and you don't even realize it, and it's STILL being re-contextualized well into s4.

So, then the s2 special happens right after s1, and it's like, alright! The plot seems to be going somewhere! We get introduced to a few more antagonists and the status quo from s1 is already somewhat disrupted. But then the last half of s2 comes around. And they're all bangers. 2x05 Minor Scale is GREAT. 2x06 is pure game motif. 2x07 gives us backstory and continues the main protags negative character arc. 2x08 is one of my favorites in the whole show. By this point you realize how consistent the character writing is if you've been paying attention. 2x09 is the beginning of the end. 2x10 ends the season on quite the cliff hanger, and it's like. HOLY SHIT. WHAT IS THIS ABSOLUTE GEM OF A SHOW.

s3 is lovely, and the end of the s3 special has one of my favorite scenes in anything. s4 is so ridiculously good. Lmk honestly has what I would consider to be god tier pacing. They have 10 minutes to achieve their goal, and by GOD are they going to do exactly that.

But like, what do I love about the show specifically?

The animation. The characters. The themes. I kid you not a major theme in s4 of the show is the fact that every single thing you do leads to pain. Being the hero or the villain, it doesn't matter—you cause suffering and destruction with every step you take. You hurt the people you care about. No, seriously. I'm not kidding. THAT'S one of the main focuses of s4, and oh boy is it a wild ride. You get used to legos crying. I am unironically expecting s5 of this show to be a tragedy.

I can not recommend it enough!

(If it's your thing that is! I TOTALLY get not being able to look past the legos, and the fast pacing isn't for everyone.)

Anyways, here's a bonus gif of Mei to end off!