#unironically and completely seriously my god

[yumaisbored]

on one hand, tgcf convinced me life is worth living. on the other, i now have unbelievably unrealistic expectations.

[halfdeadwallfly]

[moe-broey]

Man..

[xyaehir]

need ur attention asap —

SYP — w characters who i think are actually really clingy (secretly or not)

GEN. — fluff

WARN. — gn!reader, clingy characs, pda, sickening couple activities

REQ. — “do you do carlos madrigal x reader.. if yes, could I get one?? i can’t really find any recent ones now and I love your works! if not, that’s completely fine!!! xx”

NOTES. — im literally so bad at sticking to one character 😭 im glad u love my works, have a good day lovely <33

thinking about having a clingy bf who can’t get enough of ur love <3

ur clingy bf! who can’t stop clinging onto you like a koala.

ur clingy bf! who loves back hugging you and discovering different cuddle positions.

ur clingy bf! who shows up to your door at random times with a bouquet of your fav flowers.

ur clingy bf! who has a secret obsession with the sweet taste of your lips.

ur clingy bf! who encourages you to play the chapstick game, a new excuse to kiss you over and over. (he doesn’t even make an effort to guess the flavour..)

ur clingy bf! who pulls you away at any social event to kiss you breathless.

ur clingy bf! who stares at you with a subtle pout as his friends drag him away to do god knows what.

ur clingy bf! who basically uses his status to go see you instead of doing what he should be.

ur clingy bf! who refuses to remove his arms around you in the morning, leading you to quite literally limp around with him attached to your hip.

ur clingy bf! who tries to act stoic in public but his facade crumbles in 5 minutes and his hands are back on your waist.

ur clingy bf! who has a habit of rubbing your noses together.

ur clingy bf! who carries you all different styles and doesn’t care about your protests.

ur clingy bf! who always cradles your face so gently whenever you’re ranting and just stares at you with heart eyes and a big, silly smile on his lips.

ur clingy bf! who pulls you back to his chest when you get even a centimetre farther from him.

ur clingy bf! who gives you another bottle of his perfume to spray on your clothes so you smell like him when you go out.

ur clingy bf! who’s always there for receiving and giving affection, especially on hard days.

ur clingy bf! who’d rather die than leave the comfort of your arms wrapped around him, his safe place.

ur clingy bf! who loves you so much that he has to remind you how amazing you are literally every 10 minutes.

ur clingy bf! who send you those care-packages every month filled with all of your favourite things, skincare, games, books etc.

ur clingy bf! who always matches with you in real life and in every game you two own. (no such thing as u playing a game that he doesnt play)

ur clingy bf! who’s always loud asf whenever he sees you. (mf sprints to u to give u a hug)

ur clingy bf! who calls you every single term of endearment, even the weirdest ones.

ur clingy bf! who definitely unironically calls you his pookie wookie farting glitter boo boo bear. (he says it so seriously too..)

ur clingy bf! who wont let you pay for anything and spoils you with everything he can get his hands on.

ur clingy bf! who would and will give the world to you.

thinking about having a clingy bf who can’t get enough of u <3

bonus!! —

the sound of the iphone alarm rings throughout the bedroom. a mix of deep, raspy groans and soft whining fill the room, replacing said irritating noise.

you reach to tap the ‘snooze’ button but a hand grabs your arm. he stretches a hand out to hit it instead but missed 5 times before effectively shutting it off. he groans, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face into your chest.

“babe, get up. you’re too fat, you’re suffocating me.”

“‘s too early to get up, stop squirming,” he reaches a hand up to your face, trying to cover your mouth before you slap it away.

you wriggle in his grasp before stopping, surrendering to his warmth.

“morning, my sweet waffle with honey, maple syrup and berries on top.”

there was a good few seconds of silence to make you realise he’s not joking and genuinely calls you that.

upon imagining the image of waffles in your mind, the idea obviously makes your stomach grumble. you wanted to get up and make some but forgot about the tired guy on your chest.

with a loud groan, you drag him with you out of bed. you can definitely hear his quiet giggles as he brings the blanket with him, perched on his shoulders while you drag him around.

bonus #2!! —

“i got it, i got it!”

“baby, let me pay for it!” you strain out, struggling against his tight embrace. you can feel the vibrations of his chest behind you as he captures your arms in one hand and tries to put the money in the machine with the other.

you squeal when you free your hands from his vice grip and he tickles you to prevent sticking your money in.

“babe, babe stop! i wanna pay, its my turn.”

“i got it, don’t worry. im not gonna let you pay, ill cover it,” he laughs, taking the cash from your hands and slipping it back into your wallet.

at this point, you’re thrashing around in his grasp, not harsh enough to hurt him though. he has his arms hooked under your shoulders to prevent you from moving forward.

“please, let me pay! i got it, its fine!” he protests through his own laughter.

you throw your head back on his shoulder, giggling while trying to free yourself from his grip. he leans downwards and presses several kisses to your face, successfully stopping your movements.

he paid for you again. hey, at least you tried, right?

— (bllk) NAGI, sae, REO (genshin) KAEYA, CHILDE (star rail) gepard, JING YUAN, SAMPO (haikyuu) SUNA, tsuki, KENMA, KUROO (KNY) TANJIRO, AKAZA (ENCANTO) carlos, CAMILO (ATSV) miguel, MILES, PAVITR () YOUR FAVES

@xyaehir 2023. This is my content, inspired or not. Do not translate, copy or plagiarise my works in any way. Reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated. <3

[comicaurora]

What are your thoughts on guardians vol.3? (If you have watched it) I went into it, expecting it went to the garbage like the rest of the mcu, but I was pleasantly surprised by its creativity, trope subversion, and how it wrapped up the previously unresolved arks of its characters.

That's what I've heard!

The thing is, Guardians 3 could be the most transcendent work of cinema ever made, and I'd probably still feel little to no motivation to watch it at this point. It's not Guardians's fault - it's just suffering from the same problem that superhero comics have been struggling with for decades: no matter how good an individual arc or run is, absolutely nothing good lasts or matters in the long term, and the stories are shaped in such a way that "the long term" is the only thing anyone gets to build towards.

Whenever I complain about the MCU I get a handful of people loudly complaining about my complaining, with the general thesis that if I don't like it I shouldn't watch it or talk about it - if I'm not having fun, just stop engaging with it. And the thing is, I have. I am intellectually interested in why this massive franchise is fumbling the bag so hard, which is why I still check in on it sometimes, but I've long since stopped turning to the MCU for uncritical entertainment. And even the good movies or shows with a lot of interesting ideas - good character arcs, fun concepts, interesting planting for future payoff - don't draw me in anymore, because they're hooked into a massive moneymaking machine that will scrap and squander anything if they think it'll make them more in the quarter. It doesn't matter how good the writing is, because the writers are not allowed to tell a complete, finished story, and they have no control over what happens to their characters outside of their own script.

Captain America's arc was set up from literally minute one to answer one burning question at the core of his character: does a world without a war still need Captain America? After that incredibly basic tee-up at the end of First Avenger, half a dozen movies failed to come up with a reason to say "yes," and now Steve is retired for good after getting fumbled through four different storylines that couldn't even pretend that they needed him (the unused Chekhov's Phone from the end of Civil War still haunts me). The foundational arc of his entire character never happened because nobody bothered to keep track of it past a single movie.

Taika did something interesting with Thor in Ragnarok - take away Mjolnir, force him to recognize what it means to be the god of thunder, give him a very Odin-y missing eye - and the very next movie undid all of it. Just kidding, never mind, here's an eye and a new weapon and also his old weapon again, and in one more movie we're even gonna give him his hair back, probably as an apology for all the completely unironic fatphobia we're gonna slather him in for two and a half hours. I'm not even surprised Love And Thunder was such an overblown mess that barely took itself seriously - why would Taika bother trying to give Thor another arc when the powers that be will just roll it back in six months anyway?

I hear Rocket Raccoon has a fantastic arc in this movie. That's great, and demonstrates that he's being written by a writer that deeply cares about him. But he's part of the MCU, and the MCU doesn't let anything end, so if current patterns hold, Rocket is going to continue to serve as quippy plushie-bait for the next dozen movies and none of that depth is going to come through in the long term. Hell, since they're making Kang noises for the Next Big Threat and Kang's entire gimmick is rewriting timelines, literally none of this is guaranteed to matter. By next year, it might not have even happened anymore.

The MCU has successfully shaped itself into a paradigm where the bright spots of good writing are overridden and lost as soon as the writers room turns over, and that makes it really hard for me to muster up the enthusiasm to watch even a really good movie that's locked into the exact same grist mill as everything else. I'm glad people liked it, I hope it gets to stay good this time - I just have no desire to watch it.

[jade-len]

bad svsss fanfic/au idea: random marriage/guidance counselor transmigrates into PIDW, sees the absolute mess of lord luo bingge and his harem, goes "jesus fucking christ", and makes bank.

and like. they're probably not even that good of a counselor. it's just that people lack any sense when it comes to bingge, and since he's the emperor, that means pretty much everyone. also because therapy doesn't exist. i'll give them some credit though, whatever they hell they're doing works.

now, while sqq and sqh are having a grand ol' time in SVSSS with their husbands, this random, average counselor has to deal with being in the care of lord luo bingge. no wife beam. no anything. all they have is some basic empathy and common sense people just tend to lack in here for some reason.

it's even worse considering the fact that they've arrived after luo bingge completed his plan and became the hailed demon emperor. now, while they've never full on read the entire thing, they've heard enough from a close friend who has kept up with it to know the main character is the literal embodiment of the cycle of abuse and heavy unresolved issues. like, it got to the point where they started to unironically use luo bingge as an example of how to not deal with conflicts and trauma.

really, how could people like bingge? seriously, it's just another edge lord main character with way too many glamorized issues and abuse. red flag! (hey, who the hell is peerless cucumber and why does he keep defending binghe? lord, have mercy on these impressionable young men...)

so, after being kidnapped taken in by bingge and his wives after the bunch claimed that they were a "wise man" or whatever (all they did was offer some basic relationship advice to some poor woman, who turned out to be ning yingying, who told the other wives, and it just spiraled from there), they were deemed "special" and given their personal office and a room! hey, better than being on the streets in this god forsaken hentai-ish world, i guess.

quickly, a routine was established. one that, especially, consisted of luo bingge outright ignoring them. which, they weren't complaining about!

wake up, eat, meet with multiple of the wives, spend their hard earned money on delicious delicacies, meet with more wives, sleep, repeat. the most interaction they had with the demon emperor was him ordering them around, but even then, that was uncommon. it was, surprisingly, easy to fall into the rhythm of this undoubtedly odd life. you're upset that lord luo hasn't spent much time with you? maybe you can ask! the other wives are being annoying? remove yourself from the situation. you're upset that lord luo has so many other wives? oohhh... yeah. uhm.

luo binghe only tolerated them, they knew that. and they're sure that, if not for multiple of his wives insisting on keeping them, they'd be dead for even daring to be so "intimate" with them. a little bit of a shock, if they do say so themself. like, insecure much (something that they'll probably never get used to is the fact that bingge built an entire little village for his wives, though)?

but that's not the most shocking thing, oh, no.

it's this.

"i- i tried.. i tried to take the.. hiic-- other.. other shizun w-with me.." lord luo binghe, the powerful, almighty demon emperor, trembles and sobs. "b-but he! he wanted to-- s-stay with that.. stupid, inferior version of my- hic- self.."

despite the mountain of gold they're getting paid in, is it really enough to deal with this? probably not. will they get killed for witnessing luo binghe's vulnerability? perhaps. is he a dictator, the embodiment of the cycle of abuse, and a crazily vengeful bastard? definitely.

"it's-- s' not.." his voice breaks. something else inside of them probably does, too. "..n-not, hiic- fair."

should they feel bad? they shouldn't. he's hurt much too many people. isn't it a little late? can he even be redeemed? because, they are absolutely not here to try and "fix" him.

and yet.

"can you breathe, lord luo? deep breaths, don't focus on anything else but me, okay? i'll do it with you too. can you do that for me? there, there. you're doing a very good job, do you know that? here, when i'm upset, sometimes i like to do something called, '5-4-3-2-1'. i promise it'll help, binghe. would you like for me to do this one with you too?"

they can't help but think about a small, lonely boy on qing jing peak.

. . .

after that, bingbing slowly starts to come around and develop an actual bond! cool!! he just,,, can't believe only his wives were granted the "wisdom". how foolish was he?

"i know i'm only a mere human, but i can tell that lord luo is... masking things. you can put that away for now, okay? i promise, everything you say here will be confidential information, and it'll never leak... no no there's no enemy spies here-"

"i'm not even going to question this. you go back there right now and deal with it yourself if you cannot respect me or the other clients. aka, your wives."

"no, it's not stupid. this is how people help themself, and it's okay if you want to do it. as long as it doesn't hurt you or anybody. it helps, and that's all that matters."

"oh? one of your wife confronted to you about it? i'm glad to hear that, she's doing well, i see. i'm also happy that you're listening too, really."

"yes, and when something like that happens, you--- no- don't pull out xin mo now. what did we say about that? good job."

"here, can i touch your hands, binghe? there we go. when you're unsteady, you feel the need to pick at your skin, correct? well, let's try a few different things to keep those hands busy! it must be quite stressful being an emperor. how about we start with crocheting! it's quite popular back at my hometown."

"your mother sounds like a wonderful woman, lord luo. hey, how about you take a small break and visit her, okay? you want me to come with you? of course, it'd be an honor."

and thus, the story of the poor transmigrator counselor continues on with luo bingge added to their schedule!! this could be read as romantic or platonic lol. but i was thinking of this as luo bingge obtaining his first actual friend. it takes a long while due to bingge's... bingge-ness, but eventually it all works out lmao

[wonysugar]

hate rodrigo (literally) | aeri uchinaga

a/n: this is not even a fic this is a tiny little one shot that i wrote yesterday night AT LIKE TWO AM due to thoughts we had in a discord server ahem anyways I FELL ASLEEP THO. soo have this now!!

genre : really bad crack smut like i genuinely have no idea how to describe this

word count : like 600 something?

tags : one shot, smut (obvs), crack, ptv mention, falling in reverse mention, olivia Rodrigo mention, mcr mention, taylor swift mention (sorry @pupyuj)

pairing : angsty!giselle x whitegirlmusic!femreader (I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO LABEL THISSFJEKF)

your music taste wasn’t something you particularly shared with people, but you didn’t hide it, either. to you, it was music, nothing more, nothing less.

however, one of your friends, aeri, took music very, very seriously, and it really showed. she had a certain aesthetic, she wore certain things and god, did she listen to certain music.

“no like i genuinely can’t grasp the fact that you unironically listen to olivia rodrigo?” she laughed, leaning back on her bed as you stared at her in disbelief.

“god aeri, some of her songs are good, you just haven’t tried them.” you snapped back, wearing a convinced smile as you proceed to jokingly hit her arm.

“okay, sure, whatever. but just imagine getting to know someone, going on dates with them, all the sha-bang. then, when it’s time to get down and freaky, they turn on their sex playlist and motherfucking driver’s license starts playing??”

she was basically cackling at that point and you couldn’t do anything to stop it. defending your cause seemed like it would’ve been difficult, with how far up her own ass she was.

“yeah, because that isn’t a sex song? olivia rodrigo doesn’t make fucking sex music?? try putting a falling in reverse song while you get naked, see how that works out for you.” you fight back.

“oh i don’t know about you, but i’d be soaked for sure. plus, anything would be better than hearing young adult women sing about their previous relationship like it was a war they fought in.” she kid, crossing her arms in victory, as if she even won the argument in the first place.

“i’m gonna make you swallow those words right back up, uchinaga.”

“try me, l/n.”

-

“f-fuck y/n, go- mmh- slower..”

so, it wasn’t supposed to happen this way!

it originally was just the both of you, taking turns and putting different songs on the bluetooth speaker and rating them based on ‘how wet it got you’.

turns out, while that was a theory stage, there seemed to be a practice one too, and you’ve been in it for the past 10 minutes now.

thrusting your fake cock in and out of her, paying no mind to the very loud, very obnoxious pierce the veil song that was playing in the background, you pinned her hands above her head. your pace increased with time, and the decibels of her voice increased with the pace.

“oh my god y/n pleasepleasepleasepleasee i’m s-so sorry i- fuck me- i didn’t mean-“ she cried, poor thing probably didn’t even realize that her black eyeliner was running all over her cheeks. her arms and legs wrapped around you,

“shut your fucking mouth and take it, you emo fucking cumslut.” you slammed your strap into her as she yelled out your name. while she was pleading and begging for something, you were on top of her perfect laying-in-mcr-bedsheets body.

she, herself, wasn’t aware of what she was begging for, her mind was completely blank. all she could think about was how good her pussy felt when you pounded it so violently, when you were being so aggressive with her that you just used her body however you wanted.

you thought that whole thing would be a one-time occurrence, but no, it happened a second time, when she said that taylor swift had mid music. was she doing it on purpose or something?

anyways,

yes, you fucked her with the 1989 album playing.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Thought: Wukong and Erlang are actually super chill with each other but PRETEND to hate each other around strangers so no one starts asking inconvinuent questions like "Hey, why did you let so many monkeys on FFM go if you were supposed to burn the place to the ground?" And so they end up having conversations like:

Erlang: Seriously? Your successor had the same name as my dog? Dude, that's so funny.

Wukong: I told you, it's not the same, they're spelled different!

Erlang: But they still sound the same.

Wukong: Gods, you're so-

Erlang: Hey, someone's coming, get in character!

Wukong: UNBELIEVABLY PRETENTIOUS! I HATE YOU WITH ALL OF MY BEING!

Erlang: NOT AS MUCH AS I HATE YOU, MONKEY!

Mac: Guys, chill it's just me.

Definitely.

You see... Erlang was a big brother-figure to Wukong when the monkey started working for the stables and later the orchard. But they had a Big falling out because of the celestial war, the ensuing fight on FFM, and the capture that led the Monkey King into the Furnace.

Even with an uncomfortable reunion in Jttw to fight the Nine-Headed Monster - Erlang and SWK's brotherly bond still holds. Wukong knows that his bro wouldn't have burnt FFM unless no other miltary option was available to him; in Wukong's mind it was either the fire on the mountain, or it would have been complete annihilation of his fellow monkey yao from Heaven.

Fun fact: one chinese media theory I read mentioned that Erlang's "mercy" to the monkeys of FFM was likely to warn/evacuate them before the fires were set by Heaven - hence why so many monkeys survived and why Wukong welcomed him with open arms later on.

Even with the following debacle of "The Lotus Lantern" (a tale which Erlang Shen was the antagonist, though not without reason), the demi-god and monkey yao still consider eachother brothers.

The issue in the modern day, especially in the LMK verse? Status in Heaven.

Erlang and his sworn brothers were barely considered mortal mercenaries to the Celestial Realm before the war. Afterwards though? He became a Heavenly General. Outclassing even the Pagoda King in military respect. It was an insane promotion for the demi-god. He's now working directly with his uncle, the Jade Emperor, and is privy to the true cruelty the royals can dish out.

And exactly what the Emperor and Queen Mother think of his brethern.

To reference the most chilling scene in animation history (Prince of Egypt):

Jade Emperor: "Oh my boy... they were only mortal."

Erlang Shen can't risk the world knowing his true thoughts. How much he cares about his wild little brother. How much he actually knows is going on.

Yang Jian doesn't want to lose another sibling.

So yeah, in public the two pretend to hate eachothers guts. Only the Plum Hill boys themselves + Xiaotian Quan actually know that the two meatheads are thick as thieves. It takes Macaque a while to understand why Wukong dares to associate with the man who "burned our home". But a few incidents in the coming years leads Macaque to realise that the all-seeing God is deliberately ignoring some intel that could have spelled disaster for their new family.

Erlang (has the Third Eye): "The Harbringer's presence is still lurking on Earth. You, the Six Eared Macaque have been returned to the world of the living after so long. Not only that, but you and the Monkey King are living in secrecy among demons and humans alike raising a child of unknown powers..."

Macaque: *poised to start fighting*

Erlang: "...It's none of my business either way. Congrats on the baby, and your reunion as well. Bro would not stop talking about you when he was drunk." *leaves a baby-shower gift*

Macaque (has lie-detecting ears): "What the..."

Btw Erlang is def the type of (sworn) uncle to unironically get MK a dog toy as a baby shower gift. ("What? You'll thank me when he starts teething.")

[definitelyunhingedagentphoenix]

hey hye hey im back

(making this my second home)

grabs you by your neck

HAND OVER YOUR HANDLER HEAD CANONS OLEASE

Okay! Okay! I'll give you what you want!

Handler headcanons here we go.

So he is so soft. Like he only likes feel good movies. Romance, Disney movies, and ones with not a lot of conflict. He sees a lot of death on the job and just... Doesn't want to deal with that outside of work hours.

He does have a bit of a skewed sense of justice though. After years of working in the agency, the phrase "an eye for an eye" means something a little different. A little darker. He doesn't flinch at a gun shot, or his agents blowing things up. Enemies are more like a number on a spreadsheet rather than actual human beings.

But by God does this man care for his friends so deeply. When he found out about Roxana working for Zor, he wasn't just betrayed because it's his colleague working for his enemy. It was his family turning their back on him personally.

But he forgives just as easily.

He likes to pull pranks in the office on the good/slow days. He has been asked to stop. That's partly why REALLY cares for Agent Phoenix's antics. HE can't get away with things now that he's one of the big shots in the EOD but Phoenix can. And Phoenix DOES.

He has an immense love of animals and they love him back. They can sense his good vibes and flock to him like he's a Disney princess singing in the woods. He could literally go into the woods and see like 100 animals. He has pet a deer before. He has photo evidence. He loves to bird watch from his office.

Reginald has insanely good luck. There have been times that he disarmed a bomb completely by accident. Sometimes he swears that his good luck transfers to his agents when they're on missions. How else did Agent Phoenix manage to live all those times?

But that doesn't mean that every mission is a success. He's seen a lot over the years and goes to therapy regularly. At least as regularly as the job allows. He's in and out of the country just as often as his agents are so if he can, he'll do online therapy sessions.

He has to keep busy. He's not one to sit around and do nothing. He NEEDS to be doing something. So he has taken up just about every hobby that he can while in the office. Knitting, crochet, writing. He loves to write murder mysteries but everyone tells him it's so obvious who the killer is. He doesn't care. He writes them and leaves them in people's offices for them to read.

Anything he knits is also distributed through the EOD. He's surprisingly good at it, actually. People love getting a pair of mitts from him and scarves are fought over. They're really cute and have really cute designs on them. All of them have the EOD logo on them.

One time he knitted so many things that he decided to donate them and the shelter actually had no room for all of them.

Agent Phoenix does not admit to it ever but every time he makes them something, they keep it forever. If anything gets damaged while on a mission they lose their mind over it.

He wears Crocs unironically.

Can't cook to save his life. Has literally never turned the stove on in his house. It's there for show.

He always wanted kids but was told very young that he was unable to have kids. He thought about adopting but he was always so busy and his work was so dangerous that he never let that thought be anything more than that. A thought. Once he learns that Agent Phoenix has no family, he takes the role of father figure so seriously that he almost starts believing that he is Phoenix's biological father.

That's why it hurts him when he believes Agent Phoenix to actually be dead. He has never hurt more than the brief time after the Juniper incident when he thought Phoenix was actually gone. Nothing in his life had ever hurt that much.

[empyrangel]

Finally got around to doing the Arlecchino story quest and I gotta say. what the fuck. genuinely this might be the worst story genshin has ever put out

I was so hyped for it between all of the quests in Fontaine being so good up until now, and the trailer making it seem really dramatic and tense and like it was really going to go in depth about the dynamics in the house of the hearth, just for it to be as boring as it was frustrating.

Part of what made it such a bore to sit through is that we already knew exactly what was going to happen in it. They spoiled so much of it with that terrible amine short they put out prior to the quest. There was no mystery or suspense around Clervie’s identity or all the terrible things she was accusing the house and the Knave of because we already knew she was Arle’s childhood friend and she was talking about the old Knave and not the current one. Seriously, why did they release that short before the quest? And everything that wasn’t spoiled beforehand was painfully predictable. When they were talking about Arle executing people for just wanting a better life than being forced to work for a terrorist organization, I knew there was no way they were going to commit to that. That is way to absurd and cruel and they were absolutely going to chicken out from making Arle villainous so it had to be a red herring. I joked to myself that there was going to be some big reveal about how actually Arle hasn’t been killing these people, she’s just been putting them in witness protection and giving them new civilian identities to live under. And you’re fucking telling me that they actually pulled that shit? Like unironically that was the route they chose to go with? That’s laughable.

This applies to the anime short as well as the quest, but Crucabena was such a one-dimensional cardboard cutout of a character. She was evil to an absurd, almost comical degree, and that’s literally all she was. It’s so obvious she only exists to make Arle look like a better Knave by comparison (and to give her a pathetic sob story of a childhood). She’s not even her own character and she only exists as a foil for Arle, that’s ridiculous.

And that leads into my biggest problem with this quest, which is not only how they absolutely refuse to let Arle be portrayed as a villain or even a morally grey character, but how that leads to insane levels of favoritism that simultaneously harms her character, the characters of everyone else in the quest, and the story itself. I mean the narrative really bends to Arle’s favor in a borderline Mary-Sue-like manner.

She’s all-knowing, apparently. She just knows about both of the plots going down behind her back with no explanation as to why and no prior characterization of her as being omniscient. She knows because she’s ✨special✨ and she just does. Neuvillette has been established to have the power to resonate with and read people’s emotions, but oh so conveniently he can’t read Arle’s emotions. No explanation as to why except that she’s just ✨special✨ and ✨emotionally repressed✨ and he just can’t. She’s also omnipotent btw, because we can’t have the audience believing that Arle is anything other the most perfect most special girlie in Teyvat. The traveler has fought and won against gods, and dragons, and dragon gods, and three other harbingers? Well fuck all of that because they can’t beat this mortal human with ✨special✨ fire magic. Did I mention how strong and special she is? What even was that fight though? Again, the trailer hyped it up so much just for it to fall completely flat. The traveler didn’t manipulate the elements, why not? Were they even trying? Arle just showed them some vision and it completely disabled them. But the audience doesn’t have the context as the what the vision was or what it means (because god forbid we ever get any traveler lore) so it just feels like some lazy cop-out to make sure Arle won the fight no matter what, because she’s the most specialist girl and she’s the best at everything. Can’t have her looking weak.

And that’s another thing, Arle doesn’t have any weaknesses or character flaws. Technically she does, for example she is extremely emotionally repressed. But the narrative isn’t aware that’s a flaw and therefore doesn’t treat it like one, instead she’s treated like the pinnacle of existence. She’s all-knowing, undefeatable in combat, immune to all other characters abilities, a master manipulator, she always has the upper hand against everyone else, she’s intelligent, organized, ruthless, unable to be influenced by emotion, she’s everything except a well-rounded character because this game is so insistent on keeping from Arle from actually being shown as a villain that they somehow did a 180 and made everyone think of her as a hero and the greatest thing since sliced bread. And that leads me to the worst problem with this quest.

The massive Arle dick sucking contest that is the end of the story quest. What the hell was that? Instead of killing people for simply wanting a better life, it turns out Arle forcibly removes people’s personalities and sense of self in a process that is explicitly stated to be extremely painful, and then drops them off in the court of Fontaine with no memories and no idea who they are to fend for themselves for the rest of their lives, but apparently since she doesn’t kill people everyone starts worshiping the ground she walks on? Did everyone conveniently forget that Arle forces children to join the house, then manipulates them into not trying to leave by pretending that the penalty for that is death, and then when people inevitably begin to hate her for being a piece of shit, she removes people’s personalities and sense of self in a process that is explicitly stated to be extremely painful, and then drops them off in the court of Fontaine with no memories and no idea who they are to fend for themselves for the rest of their lives. And on top of that, she’s brainwashed the children of the house to believe that not wanting to forcibly work for a terrorist organization for the rest of your life is the same as betraying your family. And she made the siblings believe that they had to fight her and win to get her to spare the other members when she was going to do that already. Let’s not pretend all that’s not extremely fucked up.

But then you have the two npc’s who were wanting to leave apologizing to her because they were pissed she forced them into the house and made leaving illegal? Like wtf are you apologizing for, you guys are completely in the right? And Lynette and Freminet, who had been beaten by Arle so badly they said they couldn’t move for two days were like “Well that wasn’t even 1% of her power, she could’ve killed us if she wanted to but she went easy, we’re very grateful for that.” Grateful for fucking what? That she didn’t kill you? That’s absurd. And Lyney, who is currently being groomed by Arlecchino to soon take her place in the cycle of abuse, thanks Arle for sparing him and letting him be in the house. He calls her a hero. These people think they actually owe Arle lives for bringing them into the hearth wtf. When I said that the Arle favoritism was ruining other’s characters besides her own, this is what I meant. The siblings could have had some development in this quest. They could have finally woken up to Arle’s manipulation and we could have some nuance to their opinions on and loyalty to Arlecchino while still having them stay in the house because it’s the only home and family they know. But no, all of that got trashed in favor of showing the audience how great Arle is for not killing and experimenting on children and how everyone loves her, and is blindly obedient, and never questions her.

But I think the worst of it was Clervie. We get that whole backstory about how Clervie dedicated her life to seeking freedom and opposing Crucabena’s terrible way of leading until she couldn’t take it anymore and decided the only way to be free was to die. And then she witnesses everything that happened at the ruins. Arle threatening to kill people just for wanting to leave a place they never chose to be a part of, the people begging and crying for their lives, Arle demanding that rules must be upheld above people’s lives, the blatant way Arle was using “loyalty” to manipulate the people in the house, her making the siblings fight her with the lives of the other members on the line, her painfully removing people’s memories and personality and kicking them out. Clervie saw all that and still told Arle that she was a good Knave and Clervie approved of what she did. At this point the game might as well just come out and say “See! Everyone loves Arle and thinks she’s the greatest. Even her friend who opposed the old Knave for being cruel thinks she’s doing a great job. That means you have to like her too. Pay no attention to what an actual piece of human shit she is and just admit that she’s the specialist and the bestest character :)” because honestly that would have been more subtle than all this bullshit.

And what really gets me is that in the quest they explicitly made a point about how sad it was that the children except for Arle and Clervie were too brainwashed to realize how cruel the old Knave was, and then they went and pulled that ending. This goes beyond irony.

Only good part of the quest was that conversation between Lyney and Freminet at the beginning and Lynette calling everyone a dumbass. This whole quest should’ve just been them.

I had such high expectations because all of Fontaine so far, from the archon quest, to the world quests, to events, to story quests have been almost perfect. I’m so pissed that we’re leaving this incredible nation on such a sour note.

[cowboy-robooty]

Robooty Reviews: Killer Crush (10/10) PERSONAL FAVORITE

Professional killer Joo Taeman has found himself completely head over heels with Korea's biggest heart throb actor Kang Da-Hyuk. Not to be confused with the average hobbyist serial killer, Joo Taemin's professional is his legitmate career and he has endured severe training mentally and physically his entire life to be up to the job. But suddenly he finds himself melting from the mere glance at Da-Hyuk's "boy next door" smile! This manhwa is packed to the brim with comedy and cute pannels. IF YOU LIKE ROBOOTY STYLE ITAGER YOU WILL LIKE THIS.

First review eeheehee! And whats more fitting than to continue this draft i made all the way back in March 2023? Dont expect proper summaries for the next ones lol. but ohhhh my god... this one is so good okay. ITS SO FUNNY AND AAUGWHHS ITS LIKE ROBOOTY ITAGER ADJACENT. LIKE FUCKING TRUST ME RN OKAY. THIS READS LIKE AN ITAGER AU TO ME ALRIGHT GUYS ITS NOT FULLY THE SAME OBVIOUSLY BUT IT HAS LIKE... COCAINE. COKE-HYENA! IF YOU LIKE THE SHIT I MAKE YOU WILL MOST DEFINATELY LIKE THIS!!!!!!

The romance is so cute too and ohh my god this art is to die for it's sooooo good.. I wish i drew as good as the author.... IM SO MAD THAT I DONT KNOW HOW TO ORDER THINGS USING A KOREAN WAREHOUSE ADDRESS BECAUSE THERES OFFICIAL PLUSHIES AND I WANTED ONE SOOOO FUCKING BAD AUGH **TEARING GRASS OUT OF THE EARF**

Anyways rn it's on hiatus because season 2 finished and I'm going to cry I need season 3... I wish there was a physical print of this PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MAKE A PHYSICAL PRINT I WILL BUY EVERY SINGLE VOLUME. This is my first post and it's a 10/10 but no seriously guys. I dont give out 10/10s like candy alright. It's that good. This is unironically the only yaoi manga that I would feel comfortable recommending to anyone because its just a genuinely good comic. (It's not my all time favorite yaoi, but it holds second/third place with another manga I'll talk about later).

I love this shit. it's hilarious. I don't laugh often while reading yaoi (such a shame) or well even laugh often while reading manga (I need more comedy in mai life), but this made me laugh a whole lot. So good...... please read this I am begging you

[autisticlancemcclain]

Keith was used to random foster parent reassignments. He was used to packing his shit to go from house to house quickly. He was used to meeting whatever exhausted adult who needed the paycheque, knowing he’d be back at the group home in a matter of months. It was clockwork, at this point.

His new foster father was a little different. He was a weirdo.

Keith liked him, a little.

Granted, Keith barely knew him. They’d only really had the one interaction, wherein Keith had met the man who’s car he stole at the police station in handcuffs, and the man had pretty much decided then and there that he wanted to adopt Keith because he found him hilarious.

Yeah. Shiro’s a weirdo. But he’s definitely a break from the norm, which is something Keith appreciates.

“…so, technically, my fiancé is about to have the surprise of his life. But he’s pretty chill, once he gets past all the angry Spanish, so I’m sure it’ll be fine!” Shiro smiles brightly at him, and Keith can’t help the small smile he shoots back. Shiro is definitely kind of a dumbass, and his fiancé is definitely about to go bananas. Like, let’s be serious. Who impulse-decides to foster a child who is also a criminal who has also stolen your shit? It’s inane!

But, well. Keith likes chaos, so. This is going to be interesting.

“Honey, I’m home!” Shiro calls as he opens the apartment door, completely unironically.

Keith forces himself to not find Shiro amusing.

He needs to have some boundaries, or he might go do something really stupid, like get attached.

Jesus.

“In the kitchen,” comes a voice, presumably from the kitchen.

Shiro brightens like a considerably excitable puppy, which is a hilarious face to see on someone who’s supposedly some fancy military officer.

Keith follows Shiro dutifully as he makes his way to the kitchen, watching as a man — the fiancé in question, Keith would assume — idly offers his cheek for a kiss (which Shiro happily obliges) without taking his eyes off the vegetables he’s cutting. Keith sets his bag in the floor and slides onto one of the stools at the kitchen island to watch this play out.

The fiancé has yet to notice him.

“How was your day?”

Shiro’s bright smile never leaves his face. “My car got jacked!” he says, in the same tone someone might say that they were promoted.

To his credit, the fiancé — yikes, Keith needs to learn his name — doesn’t even hesitate.

“That’s probably for the best,” he drawls.

“Yeah, I got it back — hey.” Shiro honest-to-god pouts, and Keith bites his lip to keep his laughter down. “That was mean, Adam. You’re a meanie.”

The fiancé — Adam, finally a name — snorts, pausing for the first time to face Shiro fully. He presses a gentle kiss to his lips, grinning the whole time.

“I’m sorry, Takashi-baby. It’s just that you’re maybe the worst driver ever to pass the test.” He softens his words with another kiss, which seems to mollify Shiro a little.

Keith quietly takes out his notebook and a pencil, and starts sketching. This will make a hilarious comic. Not that he really has anyone to show his comics, but he enjoys amusing himself.

“Anyways,” Adam continues, turning back to the cutting board, “did you get the car back?”

“Yeah! Went to the police station, talked to the kid who took it. He’s actually a sweetheart, and he returned my keys and everything. Say hi, Keith!”

Keith decides he is going to do the funniest thing he could possibly do at the moment. Well, to him, anyway.

“Hi, Keith,” he repeats.

Shiro laughs.

Adam turns around, looks at him, and sighs.

“Takashi,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose, “did steal a whole-ass child?”

“Of course not! I applied to foster him.”

Adam turns to Keith. “Blink twice if you’ve been kidnapped.”

“Hey!”

Keith snorts. “I don’t think Shiro is capable of kidnapping anyone.”

Adam nods seriously. “Good point. He’s not very organized, is he?”

Keith shakes his head, giggling. “His car is a mess!”

“Hey!” Shiro protests again, but he doesn’t really look upset. “That’s not fair. It’s two versus one!”

Adam and Keith look at each other. Adam raises an eyebrow. Keith nods solemnly. “I’m sorry to inform you, Takashi,” Adam says, “but you are never going to win an argument again.”

Somehow, Shiro doesn’t look very sad at the prospect.

Keith smiles to himself. Maybe this will turn out even better than he thought.

[imminent-danger-came]

Hello friend. At first, I thought it was a joke that there's a Lego show that people love. I've seen you post about it a lot so I figure it's just one of those things that maybe a couple people really really love otherwise, whatever. But I just sat that clip of that characters death and it made me realize I know nothing about anything ever lol. What is the Lego show about? What do you love about it? I'm just super curious

Well. Okay. My embarrassment aside, I totally get it—it is a lego show, but it's my lego show and I'll gladly tell you about it!

(my apologies this got a little long)

*inhales cigarette* I remember starting to watch lmk (Lego Monkie Kid) and not expecting anything except some very pretty animation—it's just legos, right? And then it completely blindsided me. Then I did some digging and realized it's a modern retelling of Journey to the West (jttw—one of the great classic chinese novels), and that half of the whole reason this show exists is to retell a familiar tale to the modern age. That's how the show opens, and that's how s3 ends.

And, at the risk of sounding a little deranged, I'm going to say that the show being legos is thematically relevant. It legitimately adds to part of the story they're trying to tell—and the story Lego Monkie Kid is trying to tell is legitimately very solid. It's super good. They completely blew me out of the water with season 4.

So. The first special and s1 isn't anything too unique on a first watch through. The characters are charming and the show is very pretty, but it's nothing I'd write home about (though, 1x09 is very good—in my opinion—and 1x10, the season finale, builds plenty of intrigue).

But here's the thing: legitimately so much is set up in s1 and you don't even realize it, and it's STILL being re-contextualized well into s4.

So, then the s2 special happens right after s1, and it's like, alright! The plot seems to be going somewhere! We get introduced to a few more antagonists and the status quo from s1 is already somewhat disrupted. But then the last half of s2 comes around. And they're all bangers. 2x05 Minor Scale is GREAT. 2x06 is pure game motif. 2x07 gives us backstory and continues the main protags negative character arc. 2x08 is one of my favorites in the whole show. By this point you realize how consistent the character writing is if you've been paying attention. 2x09 is the beginning of the end. 2x10 ends the season on quite the cliff hanger, and it's like. HOLY SHIT. WHAT IS THIS ABSOLUTE GEM OF A SHOW.

s3 is lovely, and the end of the s3 special has one of my favorite scenes in anything. s4 is so ridiculously good. Lmk honestly has what I would consider to be god tier pacing. They have 10 minutes to achieve their goal, and by GOD are they going to do exactly that.

But like, what do I love about the show specifically?

The animation. The characters. The themes. I kid you not a major theme in s4 of the show is the fact that every single thing you do leads to pain. Being the hero or the villain, it doesn't matter—you cause suffering and destruction with every step you take. You hurt the people you care about. No, seriously. I'm not kidding. THAT'S one of the main focuses of s4, and oh boy is it a wild ride. You get used to legos crying. I am unironically expecting s5 of this show to be a tragedy.

I can not recommend it enough!

(If it's your thing that is! I TOTALLY get not being able to look past the legos, and the fast pacing isn't for everyone.)

Anyways, here's a bonus gif of Mei to end off!

[rescue-ram]

God. It's been two years since Top Gun Maverick came out, and I was dragged there by my friend fjjfjsknf. And despite my best efforts, I do have unironic thoughts and opinions on the propaganda movie, and have continued to have them despite my best attempts to ignore them the past two years. So!

Overall take is this: Top Gun 1986 is both a good movie and effective propaganda. Top Gun Maverick is a good movie, but incredibly ineffective propaganda.

It is also, more than anything, a movie that desperately wished it could've been made fifteen years ago.

Seriously, everything about it, both in universe and metatextually, would make more sense if it had come out in like. 2006.

Hypothetical 2006-ish TGM would've been coming out just past the height of fervor for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, so there would be a more coherent conflict to be referencing. Maverick would be in his mid-40s- just past his prime as a pilot but not ready to be put out to pasture, and Rooster would be in his mid-20s, the same age as Mav in the first movie, making for a nice little reference and passing of the torch. The way Maverick talks about him and the other aviators as kids with a lot to learn would make sense, because they'd all be one step removed from rookies. Rooster's anger would make sense because getting his papers pulled would still be a very fresh wound, only 5ish years behind him

Instead! Even the most generous interpretation of the timeline puts Maverick at mid-50s or later and Rooster as mid-30s, and he could easily be 40-44. This is an insane choice!

I mean just on an in universe character relationship level. They've been estranged for 15+ years. I'm not saying Rooster can't be mad at him, but it would make more sense as a cold anger- "you did this incredibly shitty thing when I was 18, but I've shown you, I don't need you, screw you." It really doesn't read that way on screen.

More than that, it makes the infantilizing "kids" language used towards Rooster and the other kids seem really absurd and insulting. They are all grown ass adults in their thirties or more. The fact the 60 year old is the best and most accomplished aviator makes the program seem incredibly pointless and uncool, which is not a desirable vibe for a propaganda movie lmao.

Also the mission in not!Iran was so incredibly contrived jfosjdj.

And narratively, Maverick either should've died or been more seriously wounded such that Rooster has to step up to save the day, completing the cycling of the generations. Instead Rooster is turned into a little kid, unable to contribute to their rescue, emasculating him. The young men you are trying to recruit don't want to be Tom Cruise any more, and it's ineffective propaganda to make their proxy suck.

That being said there is something infectious about the disaster movie, and it has been stuck in the back of my brain for literally two years trying to to unpick its knots lmao so I can't knock it

Like it's a good piece of cinema, but in terms of accomplishing it's goals of trying to make people want to sign up for the Navy? Terrible! Completely ideologically vapid! But the dramatic choices are so unintentionally unhinged I can't quite get it out of my head either ldndkdn

[k7l4d4]

K Reviews and Rants: Miraculous Ladybug Season 5! Episode 4

Hello, hello, anyone and everyone willing to give me a chance! On the advice of a friend, I've decided to mix things up a bit by giving my thoughts on this episode now that I've had time to think it over, once the veil of incredible RAGE has passed.

I gotta say, what annoys me the most about this episode, in hindsight, is how... dismissive it is. It reduces basically one of the most potentially crucial and insightful moments for Marinette as a character, a chance to think back on everything she's done over the show, good and bad... and boils it down to the writers having Marinette and everyone around her fixate on her crush, as if it's the deciding point upon which her entire life revolves around. It's just such a waste of a good plot, of Marinette thinking on where she's gone wrong in life. And I'm left feeling depressed and cheated at what could've been. That's not even getting into how this episode in particular... really makes Marinette look like a completely self-centered jerk.

Anyway, with my brief pity party over, onto the review! Warning as always for profanity.

Episode 4: Jubilation 

Alright, we get an introduction with Marinette looking at an ad for the Alliance Rings, and Tikki pointing out that she's still "in love with Adrien." Like, NO DUH!! You don't just "stop being in love, or having a crush" just because you want to, that isn't how emotions WORK!! We also got Marinette blaming what happened with the Miraculouses on her "loving Adrien" and I'm just... NO!! As much as I fucking hate the Love Square, THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED!! SERIOUSLY, STOP TRYING TO MAKE EVERYTHING IN THIS SHOW ABOUT THE FUCKING LOVE SQUARE ALREADY!! This didn't happen because of "love," this happened because of freak coincidence, and while it's not unreasonable for Marinette not to realize that, given that Felix is nowhere to be seen, IT IS STILL IDIOTIC TO JUMP TO THAT CONCLUSION! What HAPPENED had nothing to do with her being "in love," and had EVERYTHING to do with the fact that she has not EVEN ONCE managed to keep her emotions under control when it COMES to Adrien!! Her problem is that she refuses to acknowledge she HAS a problem. Even THIS is just her avoiding the actual issue!! God DAMMIT Astruc, how do you fuck up what should be a fairly straightforward plot about Marinette analyzing herself and learning discipline!? 

Oh great, and here comes everyone's "favorite Principal" playing superhero again. Now, to be blunt, I wouldn't MIND this... even with the last time he showed up in colored undies having him "realize" he should stop playing hero or something to that effect, it's clearly something he's passionate about and he's just honestly trying to help (in his own dumb way)... but this is fucking pathetic. Thomas, what in the world is portraying a man hanging by his clothing after failing to rescue a cat from a high place supposed to show!? It just makes him look sad and pathetic. For a series ABOUT Superheroes, mocking or portraying someone who honestly wants to BE a superhero as a joke is in poor taste in general. 

And just recycling a plot? Seriously!? There wasn't any OTHER way to reuse this guy besides making fun of his passion? It's the height of laziness. And... we get a Ladybug Cosplayer. Who Marinette apparently knows... Oh boy. It's one of THOSE plots. 

Socqueline... a "school friend from last year." Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't a MASSIVE part of the first season's set-up, Origins in particular, about how Marinette apparently didn't have ANY FRIENDS AT ALL!? Now, this... this wouldn't be that big of a problem... if it weren't for what's coming next. 

Pardon me while I go on a rant within a rant: Monster. You had... a high school girl... call Chloe Bourgeois a MONSTER unironically, Thomas. What. The Complete. AND UTTER. FUCK!? No no, none of that, SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH THAT NOISE. She is a fucking HUMAN BEING who you have bent over backwards to demonize for either trivially petty bullshit, blatantly hypocritical double-standards, and just plain DENYING CHILD ABUSE EVEN WHEN YOU PORTRAY IT FOR THE WORLD TO SEE!!! you do not get to have ANYONE call her a monster. Ever. Shut the fuck up, and don't let the door hit you on the way out. 

And now, to resume my original rant. See, Marinette knew exactly where to FIND Socqueline, without any issue whatsoever. She knew precisely where she would be. And yet, they apparently haven't seen each other in a while. Thomas... How do you portray Marinette THIS FUCKING BADLY AT BEING A FRIEND!? Because when you have it set up that Marinette knows precisely where Socqueline WORKS, then how the fuck has it been that they haven't seen one another in awhile!? Like, the ONLY WAY this really makes sense is if they either A) weren't that close of friends and meeting back up just hadn't occurred to them, or B) somehow BOTH OF THESE IDIOTS never thought to try and reach out and meet back up, even though there's no fucking law that I'm aware of that would've stopped them. Even ignoring the later bullshit, this is completely and utterly idiotic. 

Okay, and it turns out that Socqueline has a crush on Adrien too (although it's more obviously a crush and not a crush dressed up as being "in love with him" like it is with Marinette). They really are just... trying to make Socqueline be on the exact same wavelength as Marinette, aren't they? That's just... you don't need to have people have the same overall personality and interests and living situations to pull of a fucking case of MISTAKEN FUCKING IDENTITY!!! Gaaahhh! This is gonna be annoying, I can just TELL. 

Yeah, she's a fangirl. Ughh... also, if she's a big fan of Adrien as depicted, and she's Marinette's friend... how the FUCK did Marinette not know who Adrien was during Origins!? 

Okay, the dialog just now included a moment of Socqueline stating "I should've stayed back a year." Which... to me... shoots a MASSIVE HOLE in her backstory regarding an upcoming episode. Namely, by implicating that she had a CHOICE in whether to stay or go. 

Honestly? A bit of an aside, but I kinda would've enjoyed seeing standoffish Adrien, what with him being homeschooled for literally his whole life and his only public interactions being press events and model work. 

Marinette... why the FUCK are you running your mouth about Adrien's personal life and secrets to a girl you haven't even TALKED TO IN ROUGHLY A YEAR!? Don't... you do not DO THAT. Like, I GET that this is supposed to be some kind of "can't you see how much she cares for him and understands him!?" moment by implying she's the only one who knows him that well... while ignoring how he tends to keep people at arm's length and she only "knows him so well" by the fact that she apparently is the only one in the class with EYES or who bothers to talk to him when he's visibly upset, not even his best friend Nino. FUCK THIS SHIT. It's crap like THIS that makes me hate the Love Square SO FUCKING MUCH!! It takes what COULD BE a fairly decent execution of realizing one's feelings... and butchers it both by how it shoves it down the viewers throat by people commenting on it basically every episode AND the numerous writing flops in trying to shove them together as a couple. I have seen better romance from kids taking a pair of dolls and smashing their faces together. 

Like, this entire round of dialog is just Marinette rambling about her "feelings" because "OH EM GEE SHE LUVS ADREEAN!!!" Fuck this shit with a rusty spoon. Lemme guess, we're gonna see Socqueline devolve from fangirl (which could've AT LEAST set up something resembling interesting conflict between her and Marinette) into "rabid shipper." Garbage. 

Marinette... on what BASIS DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON WITH ADRIEN!? Beyond being generically nice people who like video games (which can apply to MOST OF YOUR FRIEND GROUP), the ONE THING you two had in common (fashion) turned out to be something Adrien doesn't actually want ANYTHING to do with!! 

And another round of mocking the Principal who loves superheroes. 

Okay, and we got Marinette getting fed up with Socqueline dodging the issue of her impersonating Ladybug and going on a rant of her own about trying to be a superhero "because it's very dangerous without magical powers" and I'm just sitting here like... Marinette, if this wasn't about being a superhero, that would be VERY FUCKING ABLEST SOUNDING. Heck, it's ablest sounding ANYWAY because it's implying that only people with the "right abilities" should be allowed to do a dangerous thing, even though IT IS THEIR OWN FUCKING CHOICE WHAT TO DO WITH THEIR LIVES!! Like, Socqueline impersonating Ladybug alone is annoying to me, not because it's wrong of her to want to emulate a hero she admires, but because she's apparently CLAIMING to be her when helping people, which actually IS a valid concern. But when the person delivering that valid concern talks like THIS?! Marinette... god fucking DAMMIT go see a fucking therapist. NOW. And we got a word of Socqueline sharing her "words of wisdom" from her and Marinette's up until now unknown shared past... "you've got to step in if you want to change things in life." Which isn't BAD in the slightest... until you remember that Marinette in Origins was a fucking doormat, so if Socqueline was supposedly such a big influence on her, why didn't she stand up to Chloe more!? They are trying to imply the two know one another so well... and it falls apart when you stare at it hard because of how little thought they put into meshing Socqueline's existence with the show's history! 

Also more of an angry rant by Marinette which is now pretty transparently about how much she hates being a Superhero. Like... Marinette, no one FORCED you to keep being one. It was literally a plot point in Origins that when she doubted herself, it was because she thought she wasn't CAPABLE, not because she hated the idea of it. So this entire angry rant is so much idiocy because it doesn't paint her as stepping up by doing what no one else is able to do, it paints her as someone complaining and being honestly a bit of a fucking control freak in that she's not thinking about what's best for the people she's thinking about what's best for HER by claiming no one can help her. This is almost NARCISSISTIC in how it is basically railroading the people of Paris into stepping back and leaving it all to the heroes, no matter how much of a burden it places on them, and it's all because of Marinette's personal feelings and stress. Okay, it's not LITERALLY that, given that the people of Paris are doing small things to try and keep from getting Akumatized, but for all that is good and decent in the world, WHY IS THIS SUCH A FUCKING BIG DEAL FOR MARINETTE!? It isn't even ABOUT Socqueline at this point, so you can't even claim that this is "anger born of worry." Why in the fucking world is someone who apparently hates being a hero so much and wants to leave it all behind still out in the field!? this is the kind of crap that results in permanent, life-long mental health problems. 

Oh, and now that we've moved on from that, we get a scene that APPARENTLY there's someone in Paris making Dinosaur/Pigeon hybrids. Given a later plot point in the season involving what the superheroes can and can't get involved with, this is gonna get stupid, I just know it. 

This is so idiotic. Just... it's completely idiotic because in this case, she ISN'T putting the safety of the people before her own feelings. If anything, she's doing the opposite, in that she's denying people the right to make their own choices for her own peace of mind. That's like expecting Superman to try and talk Lois Lane out of being a reporter, "because it's not safe for her to go and investigate dangerous criminals and organizations." 

And now we get Damocles getting mopey about whether or not he's an effective hero... and Socqueline, rather than encourage him to try and keep going on, and help because he wants to help, tries to encourage him to "keep being an excellent principal." Which, given that her argument basically involved people having the right to help out however they desire, it just feels like kicking Damocles while he's down (and he's just plain NOT a good Principal honestly). Yeah, we're seeing him get akumatized this episode. 

Marinette accidentally turns on the step tracker in front of Socqueline RIGHT after getting back from a big fight as Ladybug... and Socqueline just dismisses it as a bug. Which, yeah, I honestly buy... and makes a later bit of stupidity coming up more obnoxious to me. 

And here's the stupidity: namely, Gabriel gets an alert on HIS Alliance Ring regarding the superhuman data Marinette ended up inputting in Socqueline's Alliance... I-I gotta ask, why the absolute FUCK is he not questioning why he's only NOW getting word on this!? Or rather, why is he not QUESTIONING why he's only getting this data now!? Like, given he's apparently got those things linked together and is spying on the data they input to search for Ladybug, it shouldn't be too hard for him to check out Socqueline and figure out that she's had her Alliance for longer than just TODAY, so how in the world has he not gotten this info before now!? Because let's face it, Socqueline is the most OBNOXIOUSLY OBVIOUS in-universe red herring you can HAVE for a case of mistaken identity. Has won awards for gymnastics several years running? Check. Takes Tae Kwon Do classes? Check. Used to go to Francois Dupont, where multiple students have been Akumatized? Check. Has her hair in pigtails!? Fucking CHECK. Plus the incredibly "heroic" personality and mindset. It's CRINGE INDUCING how obvious of a suspect they made her... and the fact that she's NOT Ladybug, but won't actually admit as such when cosplaying AS Ladybug IS NOT HELPING. 

Okay... I GET that Dark Owl (or Darker Owl this time I guess) is meant to be a Silver-Age Batman/Adam West Batman Parody, but seriously, FALLING INTO A CAN OF PAINT IS THE BEST THEY COULD COME UP WITH!? This is just... what made Dark Owl effective in the first place was that he was VERY genre savvy regarding Superheroes and much more clever with his plans than he let on. So this?! Yeah, they are making him an absolute JOKE in the worst way possible. It's honestly a bit cruel. 

They aren't just recycling a plot, they are DOWNGRADING the plot. 

And now we move onto the fucking SHARED DREAM. You want to know the dumbest part of this bit?? It's the fact that we are given ZERO CLUE whose dream occupies which parts, or even WHY THEY ARE SHARING THE DREAM IN THE FIRST PLACE. The dream overall is just so ridiculously contrived it's basically running on the same campy Silver Age tones as Dark/er Owl does, and it makes any potential emotions regarding this just... fizzle away because how the FUCK do their respective dreams create a set-up where defeating Monarch is as finding his address, punching him, going to a movie together, and then winding up married... and how in the FUCK do they somehow NEVER NOTICE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THE FACT THAT THEY AREN'T DETRANSFORMING!? And... the babies. 

EVERYTHING about the babies is weird, and creepy. HOW DID IT TAKE THEM SO LONG IN THE DREAM TO REALIZE IT'S A DREAM!? WHY DID IT TAKE THEM THAT LONG!? It's... completely and utterly obnoxious. 

And what makes it more annoying is that they are trying to frame this as them losing this idealistic life... that they haven't put ANY EFFORT into making believable or desirable. It's just weird, disjointed, and doesn't seem to have any kind of logic to it at all. Ironically, just like a real dream. 

It's like they were trying to rip-off Alan Moore's Superman run where Supes got put into an idealistic dream, and it just comes off more as a cheap parody of what that run, and adaptations of it, tried so hard to capture. Like, we are given NOTHING to go off of regarding what their "dream lives" are meant to be besides "together, and with four/five super creepy babies that don't age." 

And I GET that "oh, Adrien is just upset at having gotten his dream life and then learning it's all fake," But it runs into the huge fucking problem THAT HE IS DEALING WITH A SUPERVILLAIN BOOSTED WITH A POWER ALL ABOUT GIVING PEOPLE AN IDEALIZED DREAM, and as stated above, the "dream life" was so blatantly fake and low-quality that the reaction he's showing is just... no. He is not sympathetic in this, he is coming off as violently unstable over a cheap, loweffort fake life. And he tried. To Cataclysm. AN INNOCENT MAN OVER THIS. Does Thomas NOT REALIZED HOW UTTERLY FUCKED UP THIS IS!? And this is AFTER he apparently had a fucking breakdown over accidentally cataclysming Monarch BY ACCIDENT. Like, if having his emotions toyed with like that made him less sympathetic towards MONARCH, I would get it... but that is not the case. He is royally pissed off over a cringy fake life that was so transparently nonsensical and taking it out on a fellow victim of the terrorist looming over their heads. No. Get his head out of his ass, this is insane, and not in a good way. 

Okay... so Marinette refused the Alliance Ring because it almost revealed her to Socqueline. That... is completely and utterly stupid because SHE CAN JUST TAKE THE THING OFF IF SHE IS ABOUT TO TRANSFORM!! Even if it is a plot by Monarch, the fact that SHE DOES NOT KNOW THIS means that her reason for refusing it is idiotic and doesn't seem to have any solid basis for it beyond a very weak case of sentimentality or paranoia. I wonder when they'll reveal that Monarch can track people through the stupid things. 

And with that, this episode review is done. 

Wait, just found out that Chat and Ladybug have a discussion about the power of Jubilation... and it's transparently low-effort ship tease. I say "low effort" because it's pretty obvious that they aren't even TRYING to discuss it at all and are just setting it up as "Ladybug isn't honest about her FEELINGS!!" and it makes me cringe. NOW my review for this is done.

[cigmuttfreud]

i think today was one of the best if not the best of all our little whatever-ya-call-its

first off i am writing this before i get completely trashed because i feel it impending, so i wanted to get my thoughts out while i still could.

him edging in the morning was probably the best decision ever. i got to taste even more of him, twice. hell yeah. the first time was fun because it got somewhat messy. honestly, don't regret it. only complaint is it getting in my hair.

i spent a lot of time on top of him today. usually its not my favorite because its harder to hit the right angles and my knees give out, but today i was able to actually handle it and god i get the hype. him grabbing my hips as my face is pressed into his shoulder. moving me in time with his movements. i felt so full. and so close to him, which i really like.

the first nap and wakeup surprise was super unexpected, because unlike last time I didn't even feel it. like i didn't wake up until he started with his mouth. achievement i suppose. he's gotten so much better with his mouth. constant improvement. i have 0 complaints.

i noticed today that when using his hands on the outside, he's basically found the spot. tortured me with it a bunch though. i really like it when he makes me wait to cum. i complain and struggle every time but the payoff is always good and i like him controlling me a lot.

lots of hand stuff in general. the three fingers was fine this time, am i getting used to it? it hurt for only a second. me begging and pleading for him to stop.... gaaaaaahhh... him continuing to go faster.

fourth finger was kinda dodgy. unironically really hurt and i think he tore something but the way he handled it... told me to quit complaining and that i'll get better next time. him appearing to have like no regard for my feelings as i cried and begged him to take them out. and when he did, holding me and telling me it'll all be ok as he tells me to quit crying and that he'll do it again next time. agghhhhhhhhhhhh i love when he does stuff like that.

him cutting his initials into me. i literally came from it. as dumb as that sounds. its just, pure ownership. a constant reminder of who i belong to. it feels so good when he does it.

him telling me while i was nonverbal at one point how much he loves everything about me. like going on a whole rant about it. and how much i belong to him. i was literally gonna cry it made me so happy.

so much kissing this time and i love it. literally like top 3 things ever. its just such a hungry feeling that nothing else can really fix its so good.

is it missionary if hes bent over me or is that technically a mating press? dunno and dont really care but every time he'd pull my hips in closer and slam into me. i could do that all day.

something i could seriously do all day was doggy. it's my favorite which i guess makes sense. it feels the best. no angles, no hurt legs, only occasionally falling off the bed. just straight in and fast. he gets really fast with it actually. it makes me so dumb and dizzy.

him recording me and making fun of me with it. another weird thing i came from. idk why i liked it so much. as soon as i got home i rewatched the videos like 4 times. aaaa im weird.

me passing out. i wish i was able to see what he did while i was because he said he did something.

him choking me like severely that one time where there was genuinely no way to breathe. like strangling and pulling my head up. it was crazy.

my head game was sorta alright. i think i got the tongue stuff down and found a new weird suction technique with the front of my mouth but i was having major choking problems and stuff. it made me really lightheaded. even though he told me to stop i kept going because i wanted to make him feel good even when he tood me to stop going so deep.

i felt good just staring at him watching the faces of pure pleasure he made as he jacked off the second time. i was so locked in. and then my throat was like instantly full. i miss that feeling. i'm sorta useless without him using me.

him denying me water. yeah another control thing i like, what about it?

anyway its almost done kicking in its so bad oh my god i wish i could write more