#ukulele apology video

[vifromtheundercity]

hey baddies, sorry for telling viktor to kill himself.

-vi probably

[definatelymrhyde]

HJ7 COOKING TUTORIAL??

Yeah, so remember the HJ7 PANCAKE TUTORIAL from almost exactly a month ago? Well! We made another one! This time it’s a ‘HJ7 EGGS AND NOT HAM TUTORIAL’!!

And what’s this?? A special guest?? Yes! That’s the wonderful @jekyll-everything playing none other than Dr.Jekyll! Gadzooks!

Please enjoy this completely normal, non-alter ego creating recipe!

[parasiticstars]

Friendly reminder that sexualizing/blorbofying Luigi Mangione and your support for him being a quirky little trending meme is exactly why 1. he's been almost forgotten about when any other time his actions would've had far more rippling consequences, 2. why nothing will ever get done in this fucking ass country, much less the positive-- if violent-- change we need, and 3. goes to show the sheer imbecility of the "lol be gay do crimes" demographic.

Where was your support for Briana Boston, who was falsely arrested just for quoting him? Oh, right, she's not a conventionally attractive white man for you to turn into your next Tumblr sexyman.

[fcthots]

Drunk sex with jay?he's the one drunk btw

I got carried away...

This is one of the longest things I've ever written

He is such a horny drunk. It's been established for years at this point. He achieves something. He's proud of himself. He gets drunk. His face gets flushed. He gets flirty. He gets horny. All a part of the routine. You've talked about it. You've discussed it. You've accepted it.

And you'd be lying if you said you didn't enjoy the flirting at least a little.

He'd started drinking an hour ago. He's had his eyes locked on yours since then. He's watched your every step and hasn't stopped smiling.

You know he's watching you. You're standing with him in the kitchen. He's sitting on one of the metal barstool chairs he picked out a few months ago at some old furniture store. He's solidly drunk now. His steps waver when he tries to walk and he slurs his words when he speaks. He smile still doesn't drop.

He's been chattering most of the time, talking about nothing. Also flirting. So much flirting. But he's been silently staring at you for the last 3 minutes, a record.

He rests his chin in his hand. "I wanna taste you."

You drop the remote you were holding. He snickers. Loudly.

You let out a huff and bend over the grab the remote, blushing furiously. While you grab the remote from the floor, he soundlessly moves behind you. You're not entirely sure how he pulled it off in his drunken state. You don’t notice until you stand back up and his hands find your waist, pushing their way up under your shirt and tracing patterns into your skin. "Sounds like you like my idea. C'mon." He draws out the last syllable slightly. He turns you around, removing one hand to place it on your chin and tilt your head up to look at him. His eyes are hooded and dark. "Please?" His voice is gruff and slightly deeper than it usually is. How are you supposed to resist him?

He can see the surrender in your eyes ands smile brightens. You let out a breath. "You sure?"

He doesn't respond, just presses his lips to yours in a bruising kiss. He's no longer so drunk that he can't walk, but you still don't trust him to walk backwards to the couch the way he'd usually lead you during a kiss, so you walk yourself backward to the kitchen table. It breaks off the kiss when you sit, but Jason is quick to go to his knees to follow you. His mouth doesn't stay on yours for too much longer, it makes its way to your neck and you can feel him leave hickeys that surely won't be gone by tomorrow. His hands find their way back under your shirt to your hips and waist, pulling your body flush with his. They move and latch onto the hem of your shirt, trying to lift it, but he can't bring himself to move his mouth away from your neck. You do it for him. Faster than the flash, kid flash, or impulse could move, you lean slightly back and away to lift your shirt off your head. You toss the shirt across the room and you can faintly hear the fabric hit the ground as Jason's mouth returns to your neck.

But this time, it doesn’t stay in that one place for two long. How mouth moves to your finally freed collarbones and licks a hot strip up the middle of them. His eyes lock with yours and your skin feels warm and electric. His hands move up your body and try to make their way to your chest before he gets annoyed at the fabric there.

"Ugh!" His tone is annoyed and you can't help but let out a breath of a laugh. "Take it all off. Everything. Now."

"Bossy." But you're doing exactly what he says and you know he can see the excitement in your eyes. You think about making a remark about the clothing (What? can't figure out how to get it off?), but ultimately decide that getting the clothes off as fast as humanly possible is more pressing. His hands have to move away from your waist when it's time for the pants to go and you immediately miss the warmth of his touch. It isn't gone for long, though. The moment your underwear drops, his mouth is on your tits. He draws a nipple to his mouth and you can feel his tongue move against it. Your hands find their way into his hair as he moans and pushes the rest of his body against yours. You feel his teeth graze you and you let out a brief gasp. His fingers dip into your hipbones and he doubles his efforts.

He doesn’t want to spend too long on just one, though. He always says they both "deserve equal attention" (usually right after he says something like "mine. All fuckin mine,") but well his mouth is a little busy right now. His hands trail down to your thighs, moving up and down. They squeeze intermittently as he bares down on your tit. You try to rub your thighs together, to get some sort of friction, but his hands roughly push them apart and hold them in place.

You tug his hair back, moving his face away and making him look at you. His eyes are half lidded, dazed. There's not a damn thought in his brain other than you. He whines and it short circuits your brain. You were about to say something, but he beats you to it.

"Need you. Need to taste you. Please."

"Thought you'd never ask."

His head moves back to your chest, but this time it trails down. His open mouth kisses are quick and sloppy. He follows your skin as it moves with your quickening breaths. His hands move back up your thighs and this time they trail all the way to your hips. He licks a final stripe up your stomach as he jerks you to the edge of the table.

He moves his hands again, this time around the outer side of your knees. He briefly kisses his way up your thigh. You're both breathing loud and heavily by the time he hooks the knee over his shoulder. Then he moves his mouth the other thigh, moving his mouth along it the same way he did the previous one. And again when he finally makes all the way to your inner thigh, he backs his head up, smiles at you, and hooks that knee over his shoulder.

He lays down one last kiss before he looks back up at you again and says, "Sorry, ma. Can't wait any more."

His arms loop around your thighs to keep you in place and he wastes no further time. He licks a wet stripe up your cunt and you let out an unholy moan. His lips wrap around your clit and suck and your brain shuts off. Your eyes slide closed against your will, despite how fucking good he looks between your legs. The only thing you can do is feel what he's doing to you, and by the looks of it, he's in the same boat. You swear you don't know what he's doing with his tongue, but fuck it feels good.

You think he might be more drunk on you than the alcohol at this point, but regardless you notice he hasn't remembered to breathe since he started devouring you. You try to tug him by his hair but his neck remains stiff and he moans into your cunt (and fuck if that is't distracting). "Baby." You tug his scalp again, this time with force. He gasps when you pull him away. You make eye contact and his eyes are a fucking sight. His pupils are blown wide, but more important his mouth and chin are coated in your slick. He licks his lips and you almost lose it at the sight. "Don't forget to breathe."

He seemingly can't wait any longer because he talks on his way back to your cunt. "Yes ma'am." Your brain shuts off for the next two minutes. You suspect he might be tracing his name into you, but you're not complaining, especially when it feels like that. His fingers dig into your skin as you let out a stream of curses.

He backs away to catch his breath and had you been in any sort of state to, you might have made a remark about him remembering all on his own this time, but you're too thoroughly wrecked to let out anything other than a high pitched whine.

He breathes a laugh. "You sound like me. Tsk tsk tsk. I guess I've been rubbing off on you too much lately." You forget how much of a cocky bastard he can be. Apparently he's finished his meal, because he moves your knees off his shoulder and rises from his knees. There are red marks where his fingers were pressed into you. "C'mon. Get up. I'm gonna need you to ride me. Let's go. Let's go make you drunk on my cock, baby"

Time to find out if you can still walk.

[plasticbag23457]

🎶One way ticket to manipulation station🎶

[breath-of-fresh-grantaire]

[schlozo]

Fallen Hero: Into the Taylorverse Trilogy Finale - Connor confronts Taylor Swift

dw he said sorry

Sequel to this

Fallen Hero by @fallenhero-rebirth

[faery-willow]

HUGE thank you to the Republic of Gortash discord for helping to create this and for being Orin's twitch chat 😂 This was so much fun to make!

[box-dwelling]

I am FASCINATED by the Colleen Ballinger apology from a public relations perspective. I knew about the allegations for like a week now? And the general reaction was a mix of we need to boost this and oh another YouTube groomer to add to the pile.

But since the video came out it just fucking exploded. Everyone knows about it and everyone wants to talk about it because there is nothing the internet likes more than a bad apology video. People who didn't know about the drama, hadn't thought about her in years and people who never even knew who she was now ALL know about her.

The woman dropped a fucking atom bomb on her reputation. And what baffles me more is that she's ALREADY DONE AN APOLOGY VIDEO FOR THE GROOMING THAT GOT EVERYONE OFF HER BACK AND TARGETED A TON OF HARASSMENT AT HER VICTIMS. From a PR perspective she already did this right, and then she decides to completely ignore her PR people and drop the worst apology video the world has ever seen.

Bad apology videos never leave the internet brain. Never. Do you know how often I think about Logan paul? As little as humanly possible. But that thumbnail is plastered in my brain for all fucking time and I say "I have made a severe and continuous lapse of judgement" constantly. People do nostalgic reflections on the worst of the worst of those things and she just sailed right to the top of that list.

What the fuck was she thinking? I hope her entire pr team left her because she's a completely lost cause. She might genuinely have to do an apology video for the apology video. Insane

[swifty-fox]

I was already shaking Gale for being snarky with John when he said “smart guy” about Gale getting his doctorate and Gale said “harder than holding a rifle” because that was lowkey wild to say to a dude you don’t know but John has a TBI on top of it?! Gale please 😭😭😭

words Gale should start living by

and the best part is!! John flew a helicopter!! he didn't even carry a rifle!!!!!! Gale!!!!!!!!

[snakesandstone]

all aboard the toxic yuri train or something

Tbi Loki is so fucking funny actually imagine being in the midgardian rebellion and one day completely out of the blue the tyrannical dictators lead engineer who she's at least vaguely homoerotic with shows up on your doorstep like "hi can i join you i need to blow up a train <3"

[riefol]

the only thing i'll ever upload on here and never upload again

[3dogbones]

I was just sitting with my friend and you wanna know what they pulled out.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! ORANGE MILK

Is this normal??? I’m very sorry if you like this but I have never heard of it before and HELP? WHY ORANGES? WHY NOT ORANGE JUICE WHAT WHY MILK THAT- THAT DOES NOT MIX IN MY MIND I AM SORRY ORANGE MILK ENJOYERS BUT WHAT PLEASE

WHAT ELSE IS THERE? APPLE MILK???

The epic sans thing is actually a screenshot redraw ik very very cool

original image no context:

Epic sans and image above by @yugogeer012 HOLY MOLLY THEY CHANGED THEIR PROFILE PIC?!

[ev3rythingsuckz]

WHY IS ERIK HIGHKEY A P3DO WHAT TJE FUCK?;?

[definatelymrhyde]

I think a lot of my jokes are like,, so much funnier when I can add the physical humour and hand gestures and stuff because the humour doesn’t have to be purely verbal you know?? Like. Join a vc that I’m in one day, if I turn my camera on, I might pull out a ukulele, or a recorder, or violently toss myself off camera. Think I’m exaggerating? I am not. Join it. Join the vc. This is a genuine formal invitation. I’m not exaggerating I promise.

[that1phantomuser]

Coming clean.

I would like to formally apologize to the Stardew valley community, ConcernedApe, my Stardew valley animals, everyone in pelican town (except that abomination Clint), my friends, AND my family. I never meant for this to happen. I have wasted not only everyone's time but also MINE. I wasted my time, my sanity, and all hope for a better farm. I cannot explain enough how sorry I am for watering the fucking fruit trees. I am an idiot. I don't even know how to explain myself. However, To the asshole who told me to water my fruit trees: I will find you.