#uhhhhhhh i guess this is an open

[risingsunresistance]

so tempted to leave my laptop on overnight to afk that 7hr quest where the guy counts down from 5000 but i think my laptop would actually catch on fire having minecraft idle for ~8 hours and also being plugged in for that long

[sysig]

I really should clean up that KoiBo essay I started, I got like 3k words deep and it was all just mushy rambling about how much I love Souichi

[teen-heart-throb-mr-hyde]

realizing in real time that (i’m 99% sure) toccata and fugue in d minor has never actually appeared in like. a dracula adaptation in a major way outside of like. cartoon cameos yet i personally so heavily associate that lil ditty with vampires and specifically draculer.

[glitchgeek]

.

[ghcstlydj]

“Anyway.” He picks up Devon, “Other Devon is baby.”

“What. No I’m not. Put me down-- Someone please help..!”

[behoright]

secret situationship with andrei

you, a new intern for the PTs in the hurricanes. andrei, lonely, overworked player. and lots of long hours. warnings: 18+ contains smut, mentions of injury n blood. also this is cliche as hell.

- uhhhhhhh so basically

- yes you have to get a certain amount of hours to graduate and stuff

- and your older friend is a PT for the canes so

- after the scariest interview of your life

- and lots of begging very polite asking from your friend

- you’re in

- tough job tbh

- these men have many ailments

- it takes you a while to figure out who needs what and

- how they all work and move their bodies

- but it’s easy to get accustomed to the new environment when they’re all very nice

- and welcoming

- they’re all very good at communicating and helping you out

- but also they always acknowledge you and want to know more about you

- all except

- Andrei

- oh andrei

- he’s not rude or anything like that

- he definitely said hi and introduced himself

- but he’s very quiet

- and after a couple of weeks you notice

- you work on him the most

- and he’s definitely not this quiet with anyone else

- like not any of the other staff either

- but I mean

- whatever ig

- it’s not that it doesn’t affect you but

- you’re there to do a job and that’s it

- however you see that his teammates for sure have noticed it as well

- whenever he walks in there they go quiet and there’s always a lil smirk from them

you just ignore it

- like he’s really not being rude but he’s just not friendly or ever talks to you

- he’s a lil strange???

- stares at you a lot when you think you don’t notice

- you try to push it to the back of your head and just deal with him

- it’s most likely part of the job and it won’t be the last time you’ll deal with someone like this

- one day tho

- he’s the last one out of the room

- you’re done working on his shoulder and he stands up quickly

- as he usually does

- always says thank you and bye

- you dont notice bc your back is turned to the door but

- he stops and turns around

- “so, uhhhh, what are you doing this weekend?”

- and you turn like ???????

- “oh! um, nothing much, just study, i guess”

- and before you can even ask him anything back

- “that’s good. have fun.”

- and he WALKS out

- you stand there in disbelief almost

- like okay

- in the next weeks he asks you a lil bit more

- the staring is really getting like…. a lot. But it’s only when you’re not facing him like ????

- that’s good tho you think? he’s warming up a lil bit?

- he gets hit by a puck one game and

- thankfully you don’t have to stitch him

- but he has a lovely cut on the top of his cheekbone

- the next day during morning skate it reopens

- while you’re organizing in the PT room on your own

- and he comes in

- sweaty, out of breath and bleeding

- “they open” he says

- “oh, sure”

- for some reason he decides to sit on the lil bench that’s in there

- instead of one of those high massage table things

- perhaps it’s bc he has hockey pads and skates still on and stuff

- so you got over and start working

stand in between his legs

- today tho

- he is STARING up at you

- his jaw a little slack and he’s still breathing heavy a little bit

- it’s hard to work when you have to be so close to his face

- and he is legitimately staring like not looking away once

- you try to get your hands as steady as you can

- “does that feel okay? let me know if it hurts.”

- “perfect. it feels perfect.”

- he almost whispers it asjdydbhehdebdh

- you almost sigh in relief when you get it done

- “there you go. all done”

- you say as you wipe the blood on the cheek from before and

- this man

- wraps his hands around your like jaw/neck/hair

- you know that part 😭 like when his thumb is under your ear

- and as he stands up he kisses you

- a full on kiss

- he pulls back when he’s standing up

- looks at your lips

- looks at your eyes

- kisses you again

- he breathes DEEP into the kiss oof

- after that second kiss he almost books it out of there

- just walks away

- says nothing

- doesn’t look at you

- and you’re just left standing there

- flushed, heart beating overtime, breathless

- what the hell just happened ?

- should you tell someone?

- why? and like what???????.??

- you just…. go back to what you were doing

incredulous

- he definitely avoids you after as much as he can

- awkward glances only

- when you see him he doesn’t bring anything up

- goes back to being quiet

- until you’re alone again

- “hi”

- “hi”

- “uhh….”

- “what can I help you with today, Andrei?”

- “uh, it’s my ankle. You know, the usual”

- so he lays down and you do the thing in silence

- you keep thinking how RIDICULOUS this is

- when you’re done…..

- “do you need anything else, Andrei? Another kiss, maybe?”

- and he does tHE STARE AGAIN

- 5, 4, 3, 2,…..

- he can’t help but sit up and kiss you again

- after that day the floodgates open

- instead of avoiding you he SEARCHES for you

- you guys sneak everywhere just to kiss and make out

- he finally opens up and he’s actually quite friendly and funny

- he hides you in storage rooms, one stall bathrooms, the PT room, empty video room….

- you guys just make out like teenagers

- you’re VERY careful not to get caught and so far it seems like no one has any idea

- but its very obvious to you both that things are starting to get a lil heated

- during your last makeout sessions he keeps pushing his body against yours

- like hard

- like.... your back hit the wall hard and he's low-key grinding on you

- but youre able to stop it before anything happens

- you guys always leave super flustered and breathless

- orrrr

- his hands start to wander a lil bit...

- from your face, then eventually your waist and now he loves to grip your hips as you guys kiss

- you can feel in the kiss too how bothered he is

- the way his tongue moves... much more aggressive

- much more spit, and biting, and even teeth

- or he'll put his hands in your hair and even grip it at times

- during the last couple of times you both moaned a little bit shh

- and he was definitely hard when he walked out

- so one night

- you're both at the arena late

- as you both usually are because yes you have things to do

- but also for your regular nightly makeout appointment

- when he walks into the PT room tonight tho

- he looks

- different

- like girl.... different

- his EYES

- much darker, much bigger

- practically black

- he doesnt say anything to you

- he just walks slowly towards you

- "uh.... Andrei?"

- finally he reaches you

- youre immobile, literally frozen

- he's actually mouth breathing dude

- his nose touches yours

- "I can't fucking wait anymore."

- "I can't pretend I don't want it."

- 4, 3, 2, 1

- he parts your lips with his tongue

- HARSH kiss

- while he grabs the back of your head

- HARSH makeout session

- grabs your waist after and immediately and puts you on the lil massage table thing

- you're both moaning already

- he RIPS your shirt open

- rips it with his hands, split right in the middle

- "fuck"

- he pulls your bra down and just starts attacking your neck, chest and tits with his lips and tongue and teeth

- he only pulls back to take off his shirt and his sweatpants come down easily thanks to you

- his cock springs out bc he is not wearing any boxers

- its huge, and red, and actually throbbing

- the flush of his cock matches the one on his heaving chest

- he pulls you down the table and turns you around so he can take your pants off

- theres a lil table next to him with a bunch of equipment and stuff and its in his way so he just shoves it out of the way and it all goes flying

- but he needs his space and he needs You most importantly

- now

- i can't even say he thought about any sort of protection srry

- he fills you up quickly

- all the way in with one thrust

- doesn't give you time to adjust but you don't care

- "you are soaked, shit"

- he thrusts so hard the slapping sound of your bodies colliding is so loud

- and you are facing the OPEN DOOR to the room

- if someone walks by you're in so much trouble

- but truly you don't even care

- because hes fucking you so hard and so good

- and he's so big

- he hits all the right spots but also makes you bend over a lil more since he is in your guts

- and he's groaning and panting behind you

- his other hand is wandering around on your body

- he grabs your tummy, or your tits, or runs it down your back, buries it in your hair

- he moves it down to your clit after spitting ON HIS FINGERS and audibly too

- applies the most pressure when he's rubbing your clit in circles

- there is no way to conceal any of your moans it just feels so good

- you're both getting sweaty too fkjvnkfjv

- safe to say you finish relatively easily and fast

- he cums with you

- straight up just

- fills you up with his cum

- you can actually hear it filling you up its so dirty

- andrei finishes with the loudest groan

- it rumbles so deep in his chest it's almost a growl

- the change between horny andrei and afterwards... dramatic

- he turns you around and he looks completely different

- "you okay? I hurt you?"

- "what? no, that felt amazing"

- and he smirks yOU KNOW THE ONE

- takes a couple of steps back and leans against the wall behind him bc he's still out of breath and hot and sweaty

- but the whole time looking at you

- you both look over at all the stuff he threw on the ground

- he chuckles before turning back to you

- "made a mess, uh?"

helps you clean it up after you get dressed bc he feels bad and he's so embarrassed

i must also say you guys were not the last people at the rink.... little did you know marty decided to stay back too....but... did he hear anything?

[honeybyte]

taz commitment might leave my queue but kardala will never leave my heart and soul

[tricktster]

so i’ve been baking bread pretty regularly since sayyyy april 2020. you know, when we were waiting for this whole kooky covid thing to die down in a few weeks, but in the meantime some people had taken the very rational step of buying out every store’s supply of EXTREMELY PERISHABLE goods, including the extremely sad 100 calorie sandwich rounds favored by my parents.

now me? I’d read enough zombie very serious survival books to have ventured to the co-op on March 10 to stock up on dry bulk ingredients, and I’d included yeast and bread flour among the necessities - not because I thought that they’d ever get used, really, it just seemed practical if things got a lot worse than anticipated. And then? Well. You know.

So I joined the club of the tens of thousands of americans who had always viewed leavened dough with a healthy skepticism and the deep sense that these things were best left to the professionals. With the circumstances now unimaginably altered, we were now very cautiously dumping yeast into bowls of warm water, all the while doubting that this would actually work. So, obviously, that sense of accomplishment I felt when, after all the proofing and kneading and rising and punching down and rising again and venting and egg washing and etc etc etc, I actually pulled two relatively respectable loaves of bread out of the oven? Fucking intoxicating.

I’ve gotten medium good at bread over the intervening years, insofar as I can produce a sandwich loaf without needing to find a recipe, I’m pretty comfortable with adding cheese or garlic or raisins and nuts or whatever if I’m feeling like an Interesting Bread, i’ve forced a few loaves of sourdough into existence (though both I and the dough were kicking and screaming the whole way), and I recieved the ultimate tool of convenience for my birthday last year, when my parents gave me the dutch oven that finally permitted me to finally skip kneading altogether (if I so desired).

Except like.,. I didn’t ask for a dutch oven. I actually asked for something much cheaper and by all accounts more convenient: A bread machine. When I did, though, my mom (who has baked precisely 0 loaves of bread in her life) said “oh, you don’t want a bread machine.”

“I don’t?” I asked, already halfway swayed by her confidence on the matter.

“oh, no, nobody ever actually uses bread machines, they just take up space on the counter.” my mom, a woman who owns two instapots, assured me.

I considered her reasoning, and very firmly replied with a defiant “oh, okay, yeah. that makes sense, and I guess I’ve gotten this far without one, so like, it’s silly to get one now.”

I know. I have a will of steel.

So like, another year has passed since that exchange, and a week or two ago i finally decided that since counter space is no longer at a premium at my new place, i could at least try out a cheap bread machine? I went on ebay, got an open box deal on a decent entry level model, and took it for a spin yesterday.

And, for what it’s worth, uhhhhhhh HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT COULD HAVE BEEN THIS LOW EFFORT THE WHOLE TIME?????

LIKE I COULD HAVE BEEN JUST DUMPING INGREDIENTS IN A PAN AND WALKING AWAY THIS WHOLE TIME?????!?!?!?

it’s making brioche for me right now. It’s almost too easy. I’m actively furious.

This feels exactly like the day I finally bought a game genie so i could get Mew to finish out my red dex. I’ve been grinding and learning helpful strats from youtube and there was a fucking cheat code that would have let me skip the bread making side quest while still gaining xp this whole goddamn time.

[seofthours]

Ooh tell me about the girl! (if you don't want to that's perfectly fine too!) + Hyuck makes everyone soft :( hes so cute

Hyuck is the love of my life pls,,, the girl well,, it’s kinda recent so it’s not fully developed yet and we don’t talk that much. I️ find it hard to message her because she talks to a lot of people and she’s not really intimidating but idk. She’s really soft and cute although she probably wouldn’t prefer to be portrayed that way. She kinda puts up a facade of being outgoing and tough but she’s really just a ball of soft deep down. This has turned out longer than I wanted it to be,,, fuck

[gayfanservice]

Aoba Johsai + MALE Reader (+Shiratorizawa)

Part 1 here

Uhhhhhhh idk angst or something. Requested by one person, thank you thank you

*********

You never showed up to practice after what happened with Oikawa and it wasn’t until a week after the incident that Coach Irihata spoke about it. It was just another day for the Aoba Johsai volleyball club when he called everyone. “Now as you guys may know, (L/N) hasn’t been here.” Oikawa could feel Iwazumi glaring at him. After you ran into him, Iwazumi found Oikawa alone in the gym and chewed him out after Oikawa explained through tears what happened. “He quit yesterday and has moved schools, that is all.” Coach left the team, telling them to get back to practice. The captain (who surprisingly didn’t know, considering you were practically best friends) went after him for questioning while saying the same thing.

Oikawa looked at the volleyball in his hands, the guilt eating at him for hitting an underclassmen. “Hey, you gonna serve or are you gonna keep handling balls?” Hanamaki and Matsukawa laughed at their dumb joke. Oikawa didn’t look up from the ball to whine about ‘how mean everyone is to me’ like he usually would, he just stood there before snapping out of it and acting like nothing happened. Hanamaki and Matsukawa stared at him confusingly before looking at Iwazumi, “So… what’s up with him?” Matsukawa spoke, genuinely concerned for their future captain. Iwazumi glanced back at Oikawa who was getting ready to serve before sighing, leaving Matsukawa’s question unanswered.

——————

The ride the Shiratorizawa Academy was as rowdy as ever, Hanamaki and Matsukawa sharing memes, Kyōtani not being apart of the team at the moment, Oikawa too focused on playing Shiratorizawa, Yahaba catching up on sleep, most of the third years doing third year stuff in the back, and the Coach’s chatting. Your captain couldn’t get any information on how or why you moved, he couldn’t even get what school you moved to. Coach Irihata told the team what he knew and that was that. The bus screeched to a stop as it pulled up the school, opening the doors for the occupants inside. The coaches got of first followed by the players, all talking amongst themselves.

Oikawa looked to the side and saw some students riding horses, he remembers when you talked to Yahaba about how you’ve always wanted to ride one. He remembers when you said you’ve ridden one when you were young. Iwazumi startled him when he started pushing him, “C’mon! We’re being left behind, shittykawa!” Catching up with the rest of the group, Coach Irihata knocked a couple times before opening the door. The sound of volleyballs hitting the gym floor filled Oikawa’s ears. They were practicing 3 on 3s.

“Ushijima!”

Oikawa (along with half the team) looked over to see you setting to Ushijima, hands up in perfect position, feet not leaving the ground. The momentum of tossing the ball made you step back. The ball hit the ground before Coach Washijō noticed the Aoba Johsai volleyball club. “Alright!” He clapped, the Shiratorizawa volleyball club surrounded him. You made eye contact with Oikawa before looking away. You looked so different from when they first walked in, one minute you’re smiling and the next you look so… dead. It was his fault, and he knew it. The Aoba Johsai team warmed up, “Man, I guess we figured out the ‘Disappearance of (L/N)’, huh?” Hanamaki joked, although Matsukawa was the only one to laugh at it.

Oikawa couldn’t believe it, you were here, at Shiratorizawa Academy. On the volleyball team. He has to play you, but maybe - just maybe - one of you wouldn’t. He couldn’t play against you, and you, there was no way you would actually want to play against them, right? You were friends with almost everyone on the team, there was no way you’d want to play them! “Now remember, just because (L/N) is on the other team doesn’t mean you go soft, alright?” Oikawa missed the plans, but he didn’t care as he was walking to bow to other team. After the quick ‘Thanks for playing’, it was time to play. It was the captain, Hanamki, and Matsukawa upfront while him, a third year, and a first year were in the back.

Semi side glanced you, “You sure you want to do this? You could probably get away with saying you’re sick or something.” He whispered to you, he and a couple of the other second years know that you have bad relations with the Seijoh team. After setting a toss to Ushijima, he went to pat your shoulder and you violently flinched from him. You two awkwardly stared at each other before you turned and just walked away. You feel embarrassed every time you think of that moment. He apologized and you had to explain how he didn’t do anything wrong. They don’t know the full story, but they know enough to know you hate the Aoba Johsai team. You sighed.

Walking onto the court you could feel everyone looking at you. They were staring into your soul, it felt like they’re trying to steal it. It made you angry. Your ex-captain looked the most confused, and hurt, that you’re on the Shiratorizawa team, but you ignored them. They aren’t your friends and they aren’t your team. They’re the enemy. Getting into position, it was you, Ushijima, and Tendō in the front with Kawanishi and two third years in the back. The game started and you looked back at the third year serving, you didn’t dare look at your enemy. ‘Keep your eye on the ball. Eye on the ball. Eye one the ball.’ The third year served, Oikawa received it, ‘Damn, unfortunate.’ You thought, a tiny smirk on your face.

The ball came over to your side as Kawanishi received it. “(L/N)!” You heard one of the third years yell. Running under the ball, you got into position, hands near your hips until the perfect moment. When it came you put your hands up to your head, the ball now in your hands. Your arms extended, your wrist kept straight, “Ushijima!” The second year ran up to the ball, spiking it down between the enemy’s arms with his left hand. Shiratorizawa got it’s first point. You made eye contact with Oikawa before looking away, Tendō ran up to you and put an arm around your shoulder. Oikawa saw the way you flinched, it was small, but he saw it, and he knew he was the reason.

“(L/N)! That was a killer set!” You matched his energy, “Well I did learn from the best!” You said as you looked over to Semi for a quick second before looking at Ushijima as he walked over. “Nice toss.” You could tell he meant it. “Ooh, Wakatoshi, blunt as ever!” Tendō still had his arm around you before the coach yelled you all. Oikawa couldn’t believe it. You never looked that happy at Seijoh. You never responded like that at Seijoh. How are you so happy after what he’s done? The guilt was eating away at him.

——————

Shiratorizawa beat Aoba Johsai. You looked so happy. Happier than you ever did with them. After they relaxed and gathered their stuff, the Aoba Johsai team were on their way. Oikawa looked back at you, you looked at him. You held eye contact, and Oikawa hoped that you knew how sorry he was. Maybe he could make it up to you somehow. All hope was lost when he saw the middle finger you held up to him. He turned and walked out of the gym doors, and that’s when he knew, he fucked up. Big time.

*********

Wow I did this instead of doing actual work ._.

Read the rules before you follow me

[msm-tsotmw]

( . . . )

(H..lo?)

Hello? You awake?

(Sprigg tries to blink their eyes open. Their glasses are somehow still intact.)

Ugh… huh?! Where am I? Who are you?!?

Oh, you are! You’re on Air Island. My friends and I found you and your friends lying on the beach unconscious, so we brought you up here!! I’m Strootheo, by the way, but you can just call me Theo. Anyways, you’re alive!

(@paidexp it’s the bird :D)

Uh… where are they?

Um, who?

My friends. You said they were unconscious too.

Oh, they’re just outside doing stuff! I don’t know exactly WHAT they’re doing, though, but I think I saw one of them try to jump off of a chair while the other started trying to make friends with literally everyone on the island.

“Make friends with literally everyone…” sounds like Toorie. Uh, can I get out of this bed now?

Oh, sure! I think Toorie told me that she was “worried sick” about you earlier. I think she’s by the bakery, eating a Big Salad with some Mammott.

You mean Mondo?

Uh… yeah, probably!

Oh, okay.

…Wait, what about Mauna?

Ehhh… who?

She’s about the same height as Mondo, has a volcano for a head, and carries a bright red bag around with her.

Oh, right, her! Yeah, I think she was talking with Xever about the “Dawn of Fire” or something like that. No idea what that’s about, haha!

(theo , are you done trying to talk to the fluffy green thing ?)

Oh, right! Yeah, I am, actually. Wait, what did you say was your name again, uh, green one?

Sprigg.

Ah, okay! Yeah, uh, Sprigg, this is Shwam! She’s kinda shy, but she knows their way around here. :)

uhhhhh , hi ? um , i can lead you to your friends if you want …

That would be convenient, thanks.

okay , uhhhhhhh , i saw two of them over there by the bakery . i’ll lead ya there .

Okay, thanks, Shwam.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

its been a while and we still havent seen sprigg

do you think theyre dead or smth

What ?! No , No !! They’re Probably Just Studying Their Surroundings , Like How They Usually Do On New Islands . Let’s Just Hope They’re Fine !!

Plus , Mauna Managed To Survive Being In Water , So I’m Sure They’re Okay .

uh … are these your friends , sprigg ?

Yeah.

Oh , Sprigg !! It’s You !! Welcome Back :D

we thought you fucking died

(Toorie nudges Mondo, still smiling.)

…You what?

(Mondo-)

nothing

i jumped off a chair btw

I know. Theo told me.

Uhh , Who’s Theo ?

the pink bird guy with one leg who checked on us to see if we were ok

Oh , Right ! It !

Anyways , We’re Glad You’re Back .

Yeah, I could tell.

…So are you two gonna save that Big Salad for me and Mauna?

Of Course !! We’re Not Leaving Anyone Out .

speaking of mauna where tf is she

Theo told me she was talking with this guy named Xever.

i think i may know where she is … want me to go get her ?

Yeah, that’d be convenient. It’s dinner time for me and my friends anyways, and I don’t think she’d want to miss out on this, uh… salad.

okay , i’ll go get her .

~~~~~~~a few minutes later~~~~~~~

… uhm , she’s here ! i have to go now , though … uh , bye .

Okay , thank you , Shwam ! I highly appreciate your help .

you’re welcome . you can , uhh , eat , now .

Hi , guys !

Hey , Mauna !! :DD

sup

Hi. Toorie and Mondo apparently ordered this huge fucking salad, and there is NO WAY they’re gonna be able to finish it by themselves.

O-oh . Uh , you two ordered THIS ?

what

we were hungry af

(Mondo Had No Idea What He Was Thinking When He Ordered This .)

Oh . Okay … let us dig in , then !! I have not eaten anything in a WHILE .

…Uh, what?

What ? I was trapped in amber , and I did not have much to eat on the boat ride ! Anyways , this salad looks DELICIOUS .

…Yeah. I guess you could say that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hgaujvHvhgvajhgvaygvhGJHGAJYGAJBJHbjhabuhbauyg sorry for not posting today!! as I said on my main, I had to go with my grandma to an appointment, then to a restaurant w/ my family, then I got a haircut and some parts of my hair dyed pink B)

dying hair takes a lot of time tho so yeah

that’s why I took so long to post-

-Mod Jimmy 🗣️

[moemammon]

When I was in High School, my crush and I got into a fight and neither of us were talking to each other. One day I was headed up the stairwell to get to my science class, when I saw them coming up from behind... I don't think they had even noticed me yet considering that they were busy talking to their friend BUT I am slow going up stairs so even if I rushed up the stairs roadrunner style they would have caught up to me, well; the little corner that connects the steps going up to the second floor and the steps heading down to the ground floor had a large open window... and I jumped out, like I literally just jumped out. I didn't even think it through, I just saw the window and my body was like "Yep, IK what to do." I landed on a bush or tree? It's too big to call a bush but too small to call a tree, landed in a squat before my feet gave out and I fall onto my knees and got two large grass stains on my jeans knee part, couldn't walk right either after that landing, I was shaky all day lol but it was a risk well calculated bc the whole thing would have been so awkward. I mean we used to be like BFFS before the rumors began and then they started and we just stopped talking without warning, we couldn't even look at each other. Our science partners, bc we were in groups of four, literally got fed up of our bullshit bc we literally refused to acknowledge the others existence... anyway, I digress...

Anyway, this whole story is a long winded way of me requesting how the brothers would react to an MC that literally just jumps out windows to avoid awkward moments, or to dodge people that want to ask them for favors, or when they straight up want to avoid someone?

And sorry about the large ass message, but thanks for letting me vent

You have a special place in my heart, window-jumping anon. Just uhhhhhhh look down next time okay? Ily

The Demon Brothers react to GN!MC jumping out of a window to avoid an awkward moment

(Mario jumping sound effect)

Lucifer

He approached you after class to ask exactly what you were snickering at your D.D.D. about during class.

Must've been real funny if you weren't listening to your lecture, huh?

"I imagine you've somehow found something worthy of laughing about in Demonology 101?"

You do not have the guts to tell him that you and Mammon were texting back and forth, abusing a new photo editing app to alter pictures of the eldest himself.

I mean, take a wild guess about how he’d react to seeing how big you edited his head to be-

The avatar of pride lets his eyes pierce into you, like he's trying to stare a hole through your blanket of "uh"s and "um"s,

You don't exactly see a way out of this one, but you can NOT let Lucifer see your photo gallery.

So you glance to your left to the open classroom window, and do the only thing you can think of: you jump.

Luckily you're on the ground floor so you??? really didn't have to jump so dramatically. But the fact that you yeeted yourself into a bush JUST to escape has left Lucifer speechless.

Honestly? He so impressed with your dedication that he's not gonna stop you. Besides, he's gonna see you back at home anyway so-

Also thinks you might be hanging around Mammon too much because that 100% seems like a stunt he’d pull.

Mammon

GIVE GOLDIE BACK RIGHT NOW

He KNOWS Lucifer told you to bring the credit card to him, and he demands to know where it's hidden! He's positive you know where it is!

But you don't really though?? You just brought the card to him like you were asked. If anything, you're the victim here!

But Mammon isn't having that. The avatar of greed is circling around you like an angry cat, patting you all over like airport security to see if you've got his beloved card.

"Where is it, huh?! Ya really think you can steal from THE Mammon?! Even if Lucifer told ya to, who do ya think you are?!"

When he has confirmed that you don't in fact have his previous Goldie, he's now cornering you up against a wall.

If looks could kill, you would've exploded into a fine powder

And you feel like your mental strength is about to do just that. So what do you do after you notices the slightest of breezes caress your face?

You jump outta that open window, before Mammon can even finish his "Wh- Oi! What're ya-"

Even though you just face planted into the garden, you're up on your feet and making a mad dash for somewhere that wasn't here.

Mammon lets you run for ten while seconds before he's hopping out after you. You think you can outfox the Great Mammon?! Think again!!!

Levi

You... weren't interested in this movie in the slightest, but you didn't have the heart to tell Levi that. Especially not after he’d begged/harassed you for the past week about watching it with him!

Reluctantly you agreed, and now you were suffering,,,But Levi was ecstatic! This movie was a classic! Sure it was an old one and the acting was a little bad, but you could overlook that if you watched it with your heart, not your eyes!

According to Levi.

You managed to keep your eyes open for the grueling one and a half hour movie, enduring every corny line of bad acting, horrible CGI, and lame sound effects straight out of a 90s super hero movie, and now the hell was finally over...

Or so you though, until Levi followed that up by immediately pulling out a cosplay outfit worn by one of the supporting characters in the show.

Funny how it seemed specifically tailored to your measurements. Even funnier how Levi was looking at you with those damned eyes.

You knew what he wanted without him even having to say it. But one look at the gaudy outfit he presented to you made your heart burn with a sudden indescribable urge.... to escape.

Honestly you caught him so off guard by suddenly getting up and sprinting out of the room, that he makes a sound that's pretty much the noise equivalent of "?!?!?!?!?!?"

He watches you run down to the end of the hall, throw the window open, and fuckin JUMP. Pretty sure he just witnessed your death??

Also this kinda solidified his 'gross otaku' mentality, seeing as you literally jumped out of a window to get out of cosplaying with him. A simple no would've sufficed, MC.......,.,,..,,,

Hey gamers... can we get an F in the chat? 😔✌️💦

Satan

Satan lent you a book to read last week that he was sure you'd be interested in! He found it pretty interesting himself, so he wants to see if you'd like it as much as he did.

That being said, you don't have the heart to tell him that you,,, didn't read any of it. Well you kind of did, if the cover counts for anything.

You doubt he would accept that as an answer, considering how you told him how much you appreciated receiving the book, and how you'd definitely read it and let him know how it was.

So now, Satan had come into your room with two cups of tea, ready to settle down and have a nice, long talk about your thoughts on the riveting plot that you promised you would indulge in.

"I'm really glad you decided to read it. I found that the protagonist reminded me a lot like you. I'd like to know what you thought about it."

Satan sets down the tea cups, and one sip tells you that he brewed it exactly the way you like.

His expression is eager and warm as he waits for you to begin gushing about just how deeply the story touched you... how absolutely moved you are by the sheer majesty that was the book he lent you...

Okay yeah, you're sweating bullets. You can't imagine how the sparkly eyed avatar of wrath would react to learning that you chose the company of your D.D.D. over Satan's book.

You don't have such an ice cold hard that you can just crush this book nerds dreams like that! And every time you look at his expectant face, the weight of your crimes weigh heavier on you until... you break.

Satan watches in shock and awe as you almost perfectly reenact the big scene where the main character leaps out of the window of a building rigged to explode, before making their escape. And you did just that.

Wow.. he never thought you could be so moved by a story, but he completely understands...

Asmo

How many outfits, Asmo. HOW MANY OUTFTITS WILL IT TAKE TO APPEASE YOU?

He's made you model TWELVE outfits so far, and you swear if you see another ascot, you're gonna lose your mind.

Asmodeus doesn't seem to notice the way the light slowly fades from your eyes, because he's pulling out outfit number thirteen with that cheery smile of his.

"Isn't this one absolutely adorable? Look, this part will look lovely around your waist! This part here hugs your body in all the right places, and this-"

You can't do it. You've gotta get out of here. You'd love to stand around and get mild rug burn from trying on a billion different clothes, but-

Actually no you wouldn't.

You DID promise Asmo you'd hang out with him today, but this wasn't really your idea of a good time.

"-Oooh, just thinking about it makes me want to eat you up~! Here, put it on for me, will you? I'll give you a kiss as a reward!"

You would do no such thing.

You make a mad dash for his ornate window and push it open. He has no time to stop you as he helplessly watches you vault yourself out like the room was on fire.

"MC?! Wh-where are you going?? Come back here! Grass stains are impossible to get out of that fabric!!!"

Beel

He means well. I swear he does. It's just that Beel can be a little... overbearing when he's worried about you. He cares, okay?

But he hasn't seen you eat anything all day! You tell him it's because you've got a stomach ache from who knows what, and you promise you've had little snacks here and there to keep from starving, but he can't accept that!

Eating is important, and you need it to survive. So Beelzebub was currently trying to nudge your mouth open with a pizza slice, while you vehemently refused. "Just one bite. And then another after that. You have to eat, or you'll go hungry... and I don't want that."

Beel knows the true pain of being hungry, and he’d never wish that on you! So just forget about your stomach ache for two seconds and open up-

Not that you really can. The aroma of that pizza was not sitting well on your stomach, and you were pretty sure you needed a fast escape or you'd risk losing your lunch. Greasy foods didn't exactly mix well with sour stomachs...

Beel still won't let up. He has a strong hand planted firmly on the small of your back, as if trying to prevent you from leaning back any further in your attempt to escape the pizza.

"If you eat this, I'll treat you to dessert at Madam Screams," he says, as if bribing your refusal of food USING food will somehow work out.

You can't break his heart, but you seriously can't eat that! Your head is spinning, thoughts racing, face becoming greasier and greasier from the pizza pressed against it, and-

You snap. In a sudden burst of strength you break free from Beel's grasp, and sprint toward the nearest window. All you see is your chance for freedom, and you're taking it.

You leap out and tumble into the ground, all while Beelzebub wonders what?? Just happened???? Did you really hate pizza that much...?

He never knew you were such a picky eater... To think you'd go so far as to jump out of the window though...

Belphie

You thought it was cute at first, when Belphegor wanted you to join him for his naps. And you didn't mind much. It was the weekend, you were tired, and he makes a pretty good body pillow.

But you didn't realize he planned for this to become an everyday thing. The youngest might not act it, but he sure could be spoiled.

But seriously, if you slept any longer, you might never have a normal sleep schedule again! It never occurred to you just how often Belphie sleeps.

He's definitely not human, because there's no way you can keep up with that, and maintain a normal lifestyle.

But the way he quietly, gently grabs your sleeve to cue your next nap session makes your heart clench. Why was it so damned hard to say no to this gremlin??

You were trying your best though, but the words always seemed to get caught in your throat. Belphie picked apart your excuses, doing everything in his power to take you back to the attic.

"You can study when you wake up." "Mammon wants to go shopping? Reschedule." "Lucifer told you not to be late to the board meeting? Just hide."

You're starting to get sucked into the sleepy lull of his voice, and it feels like your entire body is becoming heavy with fatigue. But no.... you resist!

Since there's no escaping this through words, you have to think fast. Fortunately, your fast thinking has led to an amazing solution!

Jump out of the window, baby

Belphie is just??? Did you fuckin???? Are your legs okay??????????????

He probably stops asking you to nap with him for a while, since you're willing to almost break your legs just to get out of it. You're gonna make him have weird dreams....

[sergeantsporks]

I would imagine Hunter to have never celebrate or even know his birthday, especially if he is a Grimwalker, he just counts his age by the year. So whenever he glimpsed at a party with many people while on nightly patrols, he feels oddly jealous. Flash-forward after the adoption/kidnapping, Luz found out and can't let that stand. Turns out though, surprise party and Hunter dont go quite well together.

“Heeeeeeyyyyy, Hunter?”

“Mhm?”

“You’ve been with us over a year now.”

“Mhm.”

Luz toed the ground. “And uhhhhhhh we never celebrated your birthday.”

“My… oh. Huh. Yeah, never did that before, don’t know when it is.”

“You don’t know—Hunter!”

“What?”

“Did you ever celebrate anything?”

He shrugged. “Sometimes on the anniversary of my coven initiation, I’d get a cupcake.” He twisted his hands in his lap. “Not really something I want to celebrate anymore, though.”

“You don’t know when you were born?”

“Noooooo. Luz, whatever it is you’re planning, stop it. No planning. Christmas was hard enough, I don’t need any more human holidays to worry about.”

“Hrmmmmmmmmghhhhhhh.” Luz gave him big eyes. “You’re so saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!”

“I’m quite fine, thank you very much!”

Luz rolled off of the couch. “I’m going to go talk to Eda.”

“Whatever you’re planning,” Hunter called after her, “stop it!”

Xxx

“Alright, lets have a moment of silence for Lilith, who bravely volunteered to take Hunter to the museum of unnatural history. The sacrifice of her sanity will not be forgotten.”

Luz nudged Eda. “Eda.”

“Haha, right. Okay. Gus, Willow, decorations, King, you arrange the presents, and Luz, you’re with me on the cake.”

Luz followed her mentor into the kitchen. “Thanks for agreeing to do this, Eda.”

“Ah, sure. But are you sure it’s a good idea? Hunter can be… well, I’m never quite sure what he will or won’t like. Have you considered maybe he just didn’t want to tell you his birthday because he didn’t want you to make a fuss?”

Luz poured batter into a pan, putting it in the oven. “He just doesn’t know when it is, which isn’t surprising, considering… Belos.”

“I guess.”

Luz set the timer. “Besides, he just doesn’t know what a birthday is like, we can show him how much fun it is, and… I don’t know, I just think it’ll be good for him.”

“Alright, if you say so.” Eda gave her a push. “I’ll get the rest of the cake, you make sure they’re not trying to kill each other in there.”

Luz dashed back out to the living room. King had dumped the presents in a pile in the center of the room, and Luz shook her head. The door rang, and Amity came in with her own present. She scooped up the pile from King and arranged them on the mantleplace. “Looking great, guys!”

Gus and Willow gave her a thumbs up, and Luz grabbed the raven phone. “Lilith, how’s it going?”

Lilith heaved a sigh, and Luz turned up the volume. She could hear Hunter chattering about demon biology evolution in the background. “I like ruins,” she hissed, “I like history about civilizations, but this—got to go, he’s waiting for me, hurry up!”

The phone clicked, and Luz winced. “Whoops. How we looking?”

“Tell this cake to cool faster!” Eda called from the kitchen.

Luz checked her phone. Lilith would leave before too long—she’d been cagey about the whole thing anyway. Luz suspected it had something to do with the “turns-into-feathery-monster-when-startled” situation. So no surprise parties for her or Eda.

Another half hour ticked by, and Eda came out of the kitchen with a frosted brick with Hunter’s name on it. Good enough—Luz doubted she could do any better. Next time: pick up from the baking coven.

“They’re coming!” Hooty called.

The lights all went out, and the six of them crouched behind the couch, King and Gus poking each other and giggling.

“Shhhhhh.”

The door opened, and all the lights flashed back on.

“Surprise!”

Hunter’s staff was almost immediately in his hands, and cake splattered across the couch. Two balloons popped, before Lilith put her hand on his shoulder. “You’re not under attack, it’s just a bunch of idiots. Phenomenal idea, Luz,” she said dryly.

Hunter’s shoulders were heaving, and he slowly, slowly lowered his staff. “Uh…” he said in a small voice, “I’m… just… gonna…”

He disappeared in a flash of gold, and Luz sat down with a whump, burying her face in her hands. “Well, I’m a horrible person.”

Amity knelt down next to her. “Hey, Luz, no, you didn’t know…”

“I could have guessed.”

“You really could have,” Lilith supplied, “And I tried to warn you it was a bad plan.”

Luz curled her knees to her chest. “Yeah, you did. I should have listened, Lilith, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to.”

Xxx

Hunter sat on top of one of the ribs, hood up. Up here, the whole isles, and everyone in it, was just a tiny speck.

Fantastic job, Hunter.

He should have known something like this was coming—especially after Luz had been asking about his birthday. And maybe he’d expected something. But not this, specifically.

He heard a whooshing noise, and Luz landed next to him. “Hey,” she said softly.

He rested his chin on his knees. “Sorry for ruining your thing.”

She plopped down next to him with a sigh, sitting crisscross. “No, I’m sorry. I know that you’re… that you have a strong startle reflex. And… I shouldn’t have designed something that would stress you out.”

He shrugged. “You meant well.” And he knew she did. But still… “I just… guess I don’t get why it means so much to you.”

Luz’s fingers tapped against her legs. “Well, it’s just… Birthdays are like… celebrating that you’re here. Like, we’re so happy you’re alive, and that we get to know you, that we’re going to celebrate the day you were born, because you’re so important to us that… that that day is amazing and special because without it, you wouldn’t be here.”

“That sounds… nice. I guess.” The being special and important to someone bit, anyway.

“I went about it the wrong way, though. I was… so caught up in the idea that I didn’t really actually consider you.”

“I overreacted, it was stupid, I—”

“No. If I’d surprised Eda or Lilith like that, they would have turned into the owl beast, and no one would have blamed them. Maybe you’re not under a curse, but having a similar reaction isn’t your fault. It’s mine. And I’m sorry.” She pulled out a lunchbox, and took out a container with chunks of cake in it. “You blasted it pretty good, but there’s enough left for you, I think.”

Hunter took the container from her with a small smile. “Thanks. I, uh… I don’t really mind the cake. Or the decorations. I just…”

“Got scared,” Luz finished, “That’s okay. From now on, no more jumping and startling you. Promise. Just cake and decorations. And… presents?”

He looked up from the cake to see a small, brightly-wrapped package in her hands. “It’s not Christmas.”

“It’s a birthday thing, too.”

He squinted. “So, what, I’m getting presents for being alive?”

“Well, when you say it that way, it does sound weird. C’mon, just open it.”

Hunter tore off the paper. It was a small notepad and a pack of gel pens. The first few pages of the notepad were pre-drawn glyphs, with a note on what they did.

“To keep with you, just in case you need some magic and Rascal’s not around.”

Hunter smiled. “Thanks.” He nudged her shoulder. “You want to help me eat this cake?”

She reached in, picking up a piece with her fingers. “Why thank you!”

Hunter flipped the pages of his new notepad back and forth with a small smile. “Thanks, Luz. For… wanting to make me to feel special.”

“Even if it backfired spectacularly?”

Hunter chuckled. “Ah, it’s not so bad. This is good.” He looked again over the isles, and the darkening sky overhead. “Yeah. This is nice.”

Luz nudged him. “Happy first birthday, Hunter.”

[chuuyanaurkahara]

uhhhhhhh some more dani content for you lovelies i guess

hehehe i'm gonna write about their 'second family' like it's common knowledge and you can't stop me hehehehehehehe >:D

i literally had to google all of the stuff dani googled and more. also dani never interacted with a baby before, they have no idea what they're doing, but they're trying their best:')

i apologise for any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language

----

They were lying in bed, their phone in hand. Dani was scrolling through social media, liking some cat pictures here and there, ignoring how their eyes were burning.

Charlotte was asleep, snoring loudly. The teenager thought to hear her talking too.

Dani checked the time. 2.57am. Whoops. They should go to sleep. The teenager turned off their phone and pulled the blanket over their body. They were about to drift off, when something— or rather someone— started screaming and crying.

Ugh. Let's hope mom'll take care of it quickly. Three whole minutes passed. The screaming and crying of their baby brother remained. Seems like their mother, stepfather and -sister were all sleeping well, not bothered by the noise.

Dani let out a rather annoyed groan and forced themselves out of the bed. They took their phone with them— better safe than sorry. Slowly they got closer to the baby's room, carefully opening the door as to not startle him.

Ricky was screaming and crying, kicking away everything in his crib. Dani grimaced. They never liked babies. Especially the loud ones.

Please don’t make me change the diaper. Please don’t make me change the diaper. Please don’t make me change the diaper. Carefully the teenager lifted their brother up.

Well, there wasn’t any additional weight, so it was pretty safe to say that Ricky didn't need a diaper change. Dani remembered their mother saying something about the baby's diapers and that they could withstand some 'accidents'.

Good. Then he's probably hungry. How old was Ricky again? Seven months. Their brother was seven months old. What do seven month old babies drink?

Dani secured their grip on their still crying brother and carefully walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. They placed Ricky into the baby seat before opening the fridge. Almond milk, full milk, some vegetables, a cake, eggs, cheese, ham, ketchup, mayonaise...

They got out their phone.

Can babies drink almond milk? Not recommended for children under five years.

Can babies drink normal milk? Not under 12 months.

Everything a seven month old baby can drink. Breast milk or infant formula.

Dani sighed. Well, they sure as hell couldn't get breast milk at that moment and there wasn't any baby formula powder in this whole damn kitchen.

They looked at their crying brother and then at the fridge. Fuck it. One sip of cow milk won't hurt. Probably. They opened the fridge and got out the milk packet.

After an embarrassingly long time of looking for the bottles, the teenager finally found one. They filled it up to about 1/4 and put it in the microwave for about 15 seconds at the lowest temperature.

Yup. That should be warm enough. They screwed the bottle shut.

"Oh Ricky~" Dani shook the bottle a bit, successfully gaining their brother's attention. "L-look here... A tasty uh- a tasty little t-treat for you~"

The teenager picked him up again and gave him the end of the bottle to suck on. Wow. Ricky must've been pretty hungry, with how eagerly he drank up the milk. After that he was calm again. Dani thought to even see him nod away a few times.

They carefully removed the bottle out of his little hands and placed it on the kitchen counter. Then Dani took slow and dragging steps out of the kitchen, their limbs and eyelids getting heavier with every step they took.

Not trusting themselves to go upstairs, they walked into the living room instead, where they slowly lowered themselves onto the couch. Dani secured their grip on their brother once more and got into a comfortable position. Finally they were dozing off too.

[thotsforvillainrights]

Can I get a uhhhhhhh Deidoro content with a side of fries?

(Pull up to the second window pls🍟)

~In Denial~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

"Just admit it and I'll leave you alone." You teased him while bundled closely together on the couch. He shifted his weight underneath the thick blankets to shove you to the side, smirking when he heard you laugh. "Piss off. I aint admitting to nothing." The energy between the two of you had been light and playful all day but you knew later this evening you would be a little sad to go. You had a small trip to take with family (or friends) and he couldn't tag along due to being needed at the Hassaikai for a couple of days. This meant you two would be away from each other for a week. Short time? For most maybe so, but you knew you'd miss him by Tuesday and it was already Monday today! The only thing you wonder if whether or not he would miss you? That's exactly why you were trying to squeeze the info out of him before your ride arrived to pick you up.

"C'mon Dei, I know you're gonna miss me! We haven't been away from each other this long before. You'll probably fucking die without me so just admit it and get some closure hmmm?" He rolled his eyes at you and took another sip of his drink. "Shut up. I survived without you and I can damn sure do it again. It's you that'll miss me the most. Look at you? I know you can't make it a full 24 hours without seeing my handsome mug. Be real sweet for me and I might let cha give me a goodbye kiss." He teased you right back. You scoffed when suddenly a horn honked from outside your shared home. Immediately the tone shifted if even just a little bit. "Welp...that's my ride." You frowned and his eyes trailed to the bags sitting by the door. "Let me help you get your crap out then." He stood up from the couch and you followed behind. "There's more in the bedroom."

"HUH???" You chuckled at his reaction and passed him by, lugging a case to the car outside. He dutifully helped you load all your luggage into the vehicle until it was all said and done. Finally the two of you stood with each other by the backdoors of the car, just staring. He kept his hand on the handle but hadn't opened the door for you yet. With one free hand he rubbed the back of his head and looked to the ground with a sigh. "Aw geez, I guess this is it then huh..." You nodded at him. "Y/N listen...be careful or whatever. I just want you to come home safe." His eyes softened considerably when he looked to you. You smiled and gently cupped his cheeks in your hands. "Of course I'll be safe. You know I will." You smiled before planting a sweet kiss on his lips. Once satisfied with the kiss he then nodded once and opened the door for you to get inside. He watched the car slowly pull away from the house, your hand on the glass of the window as you waved him goodbye. Although he didn't admit to you that he'd miss you on your trip, you still had a small feeling you were right about him being in denial.

This was especially true by the way he was already calling you at the airport to make sure you were safe and unharmed.

"Hurry up and come home soon. Love ya..."

[iraprince]

also uhhhhhhh i didn’t mention this here but i finally got an official adhd diagnosis and i’ve been on meds for a little over a month and it’s. like. hhhhhonestly lifechanging, in a way i wasn’t prepared for bc i was trying not to get my hopes up about it, and it also comes with a lot of grief for how difficult everything has been up until this point and a lot of weird baggage that i wasn’t expecting to have to unpack about being undiagnosed for my whole life and like. idk. it’s weird! but also good. and it’s making it easier for me to do the stuff i want to do.

i’m not really gonna answer questions about it bc i’m a weird stoner who draws hot cartoons and i don’t want people thinking they can come to me for actual medical advice but i guess i’m saying anything abt it at all bc... sometimes i make stuff abt adhd, and ppl look at that stuff and resonate with it, and getting diagnosed + medicated is now a new part of the stuff that i put out that feels relevant. so yeah. i had to fight really hard to get to this point and i feel pretty fucking relieved and also very excited abt how this can like, open up new options for me maybe, just in terms of everything being maybe a little less grueling all the time lol