gayfanservice

[gayfanservice]

But my friends are busy some are in the military other have college one already has a family I don't much my life is boring I never done stuff I have never even go out with friends well yeah hmm I don't know I can't help but wonder where's the light but you know what my family didn't raised a worthless helpless pathetic person of a man so I'm going to go out there and win against these people because quite frankly the bother me to no end I'll show them what happens when the furious.

That’s a good mindset to have, show those fuckers who they have to deal with and pray you live

[gayfanservice]

Well yes I do live in the US I mean if I can ride out there next four years then it should be fine right my brother said the president more like a puppet for parties or at least this current president and that there's no way he can actually do what he wants here basically he's going to fail big time if you tries to do so. I just I want a hug a comforting hug is all.

I’d hug you if i could :( im so sorry you have to go through this but youre not alone, there’s tons of support groups and friends to help you out.

[gayfanservice]

I wish something happened no I'm just angry and stressed out and bored so I'm fine as per usual it's like that one characters in marvel saying "that's my secret I'm always angry"yeah that's me I'm just good at controlling it but addition I have some fear for the future but I'm going to hold onto hold that we will win and reach that slightly better future. But for being gone for so long I shall now bear hug you until I feel ready to let go.

Oh shit are you in the US? Im so sorry if you are. Even if you aren’t, I know everything is looking like shit right now but it’s important to live through the pain and ask for help even if you don’t want to.

[gayfanservice]

I miss you

Nothing I just miss you but I hope you're doing fine whatever it is your doing and I hope you come back because if you left without telling me I'll never forgive you just kidding I would but still maybe like a goodbye hug or something.

Oh shit im so sorry, I’ve been busy with work and forgot to reply to your ask

How have you been? Anything interesting happen in my absence

[gayfanservice]

Hello my friend 🙏🍉 I am Ahmed. I used to live with my family, my father, my elderly mother, and they suffer from chronic diseases. My mother had open-heart surgery on October 7, the first day of the war. I used to work fishing on a large boat. Everything was destroyed, and now I am injured from the bombing, my house is destroyed, and my children and I have nothing left. Children suffer from diseases due to lack of hygiene and unhealthy food. Please donate and support my campaign and help me and my family escape from the war of extermination. Have mercy on us, please 🙏😭

Donate of you can

Reblog my pin post 😓

You can save our life 💔 https://gofund.me/315b0b3c

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-save-ahmed-family-from-gaza

[gayfanservice]

I see well as long as you weren't hurt by it then even though reading that makes me want to give a hug. Honestly it's not like I talked with everyone in school they just sort came up to me and befriend me because I was busy focus on school and succeeding however I'm just saying I would've taken notice of you see because I obverse my classmates and everything so I know who they are their names and things I hear about them. I gathered quite a lot of information about them through hearing and seeing alone but it's okay I'll definitely remember you for as long as I live and check up on your making sure your okay and good though speaking of names I don't think either of us knows each other names we'll it's fine I ask just because I'm not sure if your comfortable with tellijg me if you want to know my you can it's like it's a secret or like your instantly know who I am after all I have 100% of never bumming into people I know before it has never happened.

I do try to keep my IRL-life and internet-persona-life separate, since I don’t really want this to come back at me when I’m older lol. I just go by Service on here since that’s how it all started 3 years ago, and obviously because i write gay fan service.

It’s good people went up to talk to you, it definitely makes school fun when you have friends to do stupid shit with.

[gayfanservice]

Hi 👋, My name is Mohammad, and I’m reaching out in a moment of desperate need. I’m a father of three young children living in Gaza, and we are caught in the midst of a catastrophic war. Our home is no longer a safe haven, and the future here seems increasingly uncertain. 💔

I’ve launched a fundraising campaign with the goal of raising $40,000 to relocate my family to a safer place where my children can grow up in peace and have a chance at a brighter future.

Unfortunately, my previous fundraising efforts were abruptly halted when my account was terminated without explanation. However, I remain determined to keep fighting for my family’s safety and well-being. 🫶

If you could take a moment to read our story, consider donating, or simply share our campaign with others, it would make an incredible difference. Every act of kindness, no matter how small, brings us one step closer to safety and a new beginning. 🙏

Thank you for your time, compassion, and support. ❤️‍🩹

https://gofund.me/fd1faea2 🔗

[gayfanservice]

That's very kind of you to do think about them I get why though but don't worry I'll be with you until the end or at least your end on this site. And rest assured will still talk with each other afterwards definitely I'm not letting you go much like others anyways I wanted to say this feels like your a senior about to leave campus who I had to become friends with so I'm just spending time with you because everyone know seniors don't do much when it's time to graduate at least I think that's how it feels. I don't know I never made an senior friend because I was that senior and also my schools were so new at the time part of 2 school's founding class and first graduate from said schools so you know that never happened to me and also I didn't much interaction with the other grade levels expected for a few times but was school work stuff. I know I can't fill the spaces for those people but I hope at least me talking with you can help not feel so sad or something.

I’ve never talked to anyone at my school, the first time someone talked to me with no connections (being friends with someone I knew, being grouped together, etc) I was in 12th grade. Legitimately no one fucking talked to me lol

The amount of times someone would say “who is that” when my name was called…

[gayfanservice]

Well okay I'll believe you seeing as don't seem like the type to lie I know at some point you'll leave since you said stay awhile and I have accepted that fact and your free to do so but even so even after that fact after you leave this site I still want to be able to talk with you so we need to work something out for that for now though I'm going to keep as much company in a effort to make the most of your remaining time here a good one.

When i first started i used to be so active with like 7 different people and we’d all chat like all day😭 i miss those days so much

[gayfanservice]

Well if you say so then you don't mind that I hold you on that right? So don't go kicking the bucket now or something bad happens because if it does I'll find you and give a good scolding and then I'll help you out. I'm very protective of my friends in that same vein sometimes they need to be scolded a healthy balance of kindness and harshness that's what I offer and add to the group so you best not leave without me knowing okay after all I still want to talk with addition there are orders to these things so you leaving randomly would bother me since that's not the first time something like that has happened and I don't to happen without saying a proper goodbye should it need happen.

Im staying on tumblr for awhile dont worry lol

[gayfanservice]

Well okay then that's a quite the view you have on it so much so I can't be worried about you after reading that so let's hope nothing bad happens to you as you seem to see it addition for my part I'll make sure your trust is paid off in full and you feel safe placing your trust in me so I guess let's do this thing.

lol trust me, someone has tried and they failed to do anything about me being on here. I ain’t going anywhere anytime soon.

[gayfanservice]

Hmm I'm surprised your helping me in my endeavor though aren't your trusting me a bit too much well that's fine honestly the more we talk the more I feel like I can imagine your facial expressions or at least I feel like we are talking face to face but reading your answer I do feel a presence next to me so you what consider your thoughts and demonic symbols received.

There's the spirit lol, I trust anyone online cuz no matter what nothing bad will really happen in the long run so YOLO

[gayfanservice]

Please, please, look at my donation campaign and help me. I have newborn children and my son Ahmed needs treatment. He is a heart patient and suffers from two holes in the heart. He needs help and treatment. We do not have money and we are stuck in Egypt because of the Gaza war. My wife and I lost my jobs and there is no source of income. I would like you to help. To care for my children and provide the necessary treatment for my child Ahmed, please donate even a little thing to save my child’s life

https://www.tumblr.com/shareeffamily/762996061483745280/please-please-look-at-my-donation-campaign-and?source=share

[gayfanservice]

I'm here to vent see yesterday I went to the dentist right as like a final adjustments for my braces before taking them off next time however they put these elastics bands to close the gaps between my front and back teeth. And I need to wear them everyday all the time expect for when I eat or brush my teeth only then can I take them off. However it's so annoying it's like when I first got braces I want to really badly rip them off which I won't but I dream of doing so and I can't sleep in my normal position because of said things also I need to replace as well which I have the things to do so but I have to deal with this until my next dentist appointment I hate this so much point is I'm very furious right now so much so my normal care about things have flow right out the window and will only come back when I get these off for good I'm going to start causing mayhem as a way to distraction from this.

NOT THE ELASTICS 😭 dude i fucking hate the elastics soooo much, im seriously so glade i dont have to go through that. Im so sorry you have to endure the brutality of them sending thoughts and demonic symbols your way 🙏😭 its gonna be so worth it once theyre off

[gayfanservice]

| requested by @thisbicc

| pairing: kotaro bokuto x reader

| warnings: 18+ MDNI. Cursing. Self-consciousness / Self-sabotaging behaviors.

| summary: Bokuto's always been your best friend despite the fact that you've always been a bit cold to him... But it's only because you'd die if he found out that you're madly in love with him.

| wc: 1.1k

| taglist: @aylitgirl , @@justanotherpasserby , @lyteatus , @unknownspecies , @diorsbrando , @peachesncats

All it took was a single breaking point. Years and years of teasing and acting like you hated each other when in reality you were all that the two of you had, drawn to each other regardless of how shitty you could treat him and how his teasing could some times get out of hand. Bokuto was the only person who had stuck by your side through thick and thin. At first, the whole thing started as a joke-- or maybe even a defense mechanism to protect yourself from the fact that you thought that someone as handsome and perfect as Bokuto would only be looking at you in the first place for some silly joke that would leave you heartbroken and in shambles.

He'd come up to you to ask how you were doing, and you'd easily shrug him off, yet he'd follow you around 'til you gave in with a gumbly, "I'm fine. What do you want?" He'd do it every day until suddenly his questions were normal and your jagged responses didn't bother either of you anymore; then you were suddenly going to him, asking how he was and if he wanted to go out for drinks and dinner that evening. Bokuto would always abandon the groupies he'd be surrounded by just to go with you wherever you wanted, and he'd quickly take pictures or sign autographs in a discreet way that wouldn't interrupt you while you were thinking or talking to him, because you could tell that he enjoyed the sound of your voice-- The first person to give off that vibe, really. You hated it. He was supposed to be the loud, boisterous, extroverted one, however he always gave you room to speak in circles until you'd run out of breath or couldn't bear to ramble anymore while he was stuffing his face full of soba noodles.

Part of you didn't hate that Bokuto was famous and attractive, you just hated that it meant the two of you were never really alone or that you were always left second guessing your friendship, and as a result you were incredibly cruel each time. There were a handful of examples to give aside from the common shrugging off whenever he'd sneak up behind you to tease you, like how you'd straight up walk the other way whenever fans would approach him on the street. You knew that there was nothing that he could do. He had to stay there and kindly interact with everyone while watching you with pouty puppy-dog eyes as you wandered off but he couldn't stop you or catch up to you. You knew that you should have just sucked it up. You could have just stayed with him, even offered to take pictures or something-- But you felt like you had to walk away each time or inevitably Bokuto would see it on your face how you were so jealous of the way he'd playfully flirt with the girls, how he'd wrap his arms around them for photos, and how he absolutely adored their "I love yous" and their endless "Fuck me" stares. If he knew that you were jealous, he would have made fun of you for an eternity. Nothing would change. You'd still be his bitchy best friend, but now you'd be deemed his silly, jealous, bitchy best friend. Fuck that. You weren't going to give Bokuto the satisfaction.

Yet in the end all it really took was a single breaking point. It started like normal, him running up to you, tapping your left shoulder to get you to peek over it before you realized that he was actually glancing around your right shoulder, him asking how your day was, you responding by rolling your eyes and walking off so that he could follow you down the road to your neighborhood. He skipped alongside you like a toddler while interrogating you, "How was work? Make any new friends today? What did you have for lunch? Did you miss me?" When the two of you were stopped at the train station by a couple of teens who were apparently big fans of his, you rolled your eyes and walked off with your hands stuffed in your pockets. Behind you, you heard Bokuto apologizing profusely to the girls while scribbling his signature desperately before running away from them to catch up to you.

A hand on your wrist.

A gentle yank to get you to stop walking.

Another pull to make you turn around to face him, panic and embarrassment written all over him.

A pant as he said, "Please stop walking away from me... I get worried."

And with a furrowed brow, you scoffed and asked him why he'd get worried. Scared of a couple of teenagers, huh?

"No..." He stepped closer. "No, not at all." And closer. "Just scared that I'll lose track of you and never see you again."

You laughed. How could he think he'd never see you again when all he did was track you down every day just to hang out with you?

He was so close that you could feel his body heat radiating against yours while his large figure towered over you. "My worst fear is not having you around anymore, is that so hard to believe?"

"It's a stupid fear."

"Not to me."

"Why?"

"'Cause I never even got the chance to properly ask you out yet."

The train arrived as you realized that this was the breaking point. After so many years of dancing around the idea of possibly dating Kotaro Bokuto because you thought that it'd never happen in a million years, he was standing there, holding onto you desperately, looking down at you with sincere eyes, ignoring the train doors that were closing, and he was the one finally doing the dance-around instead of you.

Bokuto gulped. "I know a pretty good barbeque place nearby."

"That's a shitty first date," you told him flatly in order to hide the fact that your heart was racing in your chest.

"Fine. Kuroo told me about an expensive izakaya in Tokyo."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"What time?" you pressed on.

"Seven."

You chuckled. "Without a reservation?"

"I can pull some strings."

"You mean that Kuroo can pull some strings for you."

Bokuto looked a bit more panicked. "Do you not want to go with me?"

You froze for a moment before your eyes widened in realization that you'd done it again. In your attempt to hide how happy you were, you came off as cold and uncaring to the situation. Shit. So to remedy the situation, you grabbed his phone from his pocket while he blushed at you, and you handed it to him, telling him to ask Kuroo to pull those strings for him.

Bokuto lit up like a fire cracker. Despite how disruptive it was, he started jumping around the train station platform while cheering happily. He really was like a toddler when he got excited. That was something you'd always loved about him.

[gayfanservice]

No you don't have to do that I don't want to put that added weight to you I alone can and should overcome problems that are solvable without asking for help. I mean I kinda already talk with you every day so that box is already checked I mean you have to like talking with whoever it is your speaking to be able to do so everyday right at least I think so. But thanks rest assured if it gets by chance it becomes to much for me then I'll reach out to you and hey trying is more than enough I would never ask anyone for more than that because that in of itself is something that should be appreciated and just nice to know.

Im pretty bored on here so i appreciate any types of conversations people send in lol, don’t be afraid

[gayfanservice]

I'VE LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU THAT HURTS

matsukawa issei x m!reader (pronouns aren't mentioned but the intention is still there), established relationship

warnings: angst, really poor body image on mattsuns part including negative mentions of weight, hurt/comfort, cussing, use of pet names (baby, honey, pretty boy), matsukawa is referred to as mattsun and issei, the friends mentioned are not the seijoh four

notes: i projected a bit oops

mattsun had lost track of time. all he knew was that the light illuminating from his laptop hurt his bloodshot eyes, and if the soft sounds from it weren't the only thing keeping him sane, he would slam it shut in a heartbeat.

he doesn't know how he ended up in this position, really. he's not typically a sensitive guy, he's normally nonchalant, laid back. he walks the world like nothing can hurt him.

but then he thinks about what his friends said.

it was playful, at first. little jabs at his personality that he could rebuttal with ease. teasing them about their flaws, adamant on avoiding striking any nerves.

he just wished they would be as careful as him.

what got to him first, was the mention of his eyebrows. how they were too thick, that they didn't match his face.

which then led to the conversation about his jawline, how it was too triangular, too uneven.

and even though those comments hurt, he took them and bit his tongue. for his own sake. just shake it off, he thought, they're just joking stop being such a fucking baby

it was fine, really.

until they started talking about his weight. how he was too skinny, too tall, too boney. how almost nauseating it was that they could see how his ribs poked through his skin.

yeah, that's what got him.

from practice to home was a blur to him, but he remembers how he stormed to his room. how he sat in his own silence for a moment or so, before his body racked with violent sobs.

he cried. he cried until there was no more air in his lungs, until the sobs got caught in his throat. he gripped his hair and broke down for what felt like an eternity.

and even now, hours later, the thought of everything that happened makes him want to start sobbing again.

but he can't. the lump in his throat sticks there, not daring to move.

he really thinks he's fucking pathetic. to let such words get to him, he knows he shouldn't care. he knows they meant no harm. he knows they were just jokes. he knows he's not that bad looking.

right?

well, he guesses there must be some truth to their words if they poked and prodded at it. he guesses there's some truth if he's allowing himself to be this affected by it.

he doesn't hear you softly open the door to his bedroom.

you had grown worried, you tried to contact him over dozens of times within the past few hours, only to be left on delivered.

at first you were mad, you figured he was just ignoring you for makki or something unimportant, but once oikawa had told you that issei had left the gym in a sulk, you had just grown to be worried.

you slowly made your way towards him, the soft blue glow of his laptop being the only source of light in the room.

when you tripped over his sneakers is when he finally noticed you.

slowly, he turned from his laptop to face you. the cacoon of his blanket covering most of him. that's when you finally got a good look at his face.

his eyes were bloodshot, and his tears from earlier left stains of trails down his cheeks. the dried snot under his nose, his tussled hair and cracked lips showing his distress.

god, you swear, even like this he looks so beautiful.

"issei, baby, what's wrong?" you question, crouching down next to his bed. you reach your hand out, lightly stroking his face.

tears slowly begin to fall from his eyes again. you wipe them away gently with his thumbs.

the gesture alone sends him into another fit of sobs, you wrap your arms around him, rubbing circles on his back as you let him weep into the crook of your neck.

"i can't fucking . . . i'm so pathetic i'm sorry . . ." he blubbers, god he can't believe himself right now.

"nonono baby you aren't pathetic, you're allowed to cry. you're allowed to be upset," you reassure him, "take your time. i'm not going anywhere."

you two stay like that for a few minutes, issei composes himself the best to his ability, before sitting up and letting what happened fall from his lips in a hurry.

your face contorts in anger as he continues, not with him, of course. you couldn't believe what he was saying, what kind of friends were these people?

once he finished, you allowed yourself to speak.

"issei," you began, "what they said about you was absolutely ridiculous."

at first he's taken aback by your words, but then you continue,

"you are one of the most gorgeous boys i have ever laid my eyes on," you said, "your eyebrows aren't too thick, they fit your face perfectly. your jawline is perfect too, and even if it is asymmetrical, most peoples are. it's not uncommon and it certainly does not make you ugly."

you take a deep breath, cupping his hands in yours. giving him a reassuring squeeze before picking up again once more,

"and as for your weight," you began, "i just . . . the fact that they even felt the need to comment on that disgusts me. there is nothing wrong with your weight, as long as you are healthy that's all that matters. whether you be on the bigger or smaller side, as long as you are healthy that's all that should matter. ever. don't listen to the utter bullshit they spew because it's not true. you're a beautiful boy, you're my beautiful boy."

he starts crying again, but this time out of a warm feeling bursting in his chest. he pulls you in for a tight embrace, and you squeeze him just as hard.

"i love you so much." are the only words he's able to mutter before he falls asleep on your shoulders.

you then softly close the lid to his laptop, crawling under the covers with him and placing a kiss on his forehead.

sleep well, pretty boy. is all you can think before drifting off yourself

a/n: i just want to remind you guys that you are beautiful no matter what and you deserve good things. likes, reblogs & comments are appreciated!