#uhhhh where the fuck did all that come from

[centrally-unplanned]

(Link embed not working? Okay)

Okay a bit surprised at this one! Back during the July Crisis I had a very clear logic in mind. I thought Kamala was a weak candidate, she was a very bad pick in 2020 for all the wrong reasons and being BIden's VP was bad baggage. Biden stepping down and having a process where a strong candidate with none of the Biden stain could emerge seemed ideal to me - US campaigns are way too long anyway, it being "rushed" could be a blessing in disguise.

However, that was impossible - the Democrat's org structure is just too sclerotic to throw that together. If it hasn't been approved by eight committees over the course of two years of debate, it can't be done. So in practice, Kamala was the only bet. She is the VP, that is literally their job and why they exist, so we could all default to Kamala, throw Biden into an early grave, and sail off into the tail end of Brat Summer to go down actually putting up a fight.

(And she did better than I expected! Props to her, pity about that last bit)

What all this means is that my assumption was that Biden endorsing Harris was something everyone was on the same page about! It was the only option, and so who would bother dissenting? But now Nancy Pelosi is out here telling me it was a fait accompli and she was actually discussing having an open primary? Was that really in cards?

So Pelosi is definitely a bit of a schemer, so I wouldn't be shocked if this is a bit of a white lie to burnish her rep. Still, she is also very much a schemer, and so maybe she actually could have pulled off getting the DNC to commit to an open primary? My respect for her would go way up in that case - way to really understand the problem at the critical moment.

And my respect for Biden would go way down. We all know Kamala was a mistake at this point as a VP choice, the entire logic behind it was backwards (Why was the candidate earning the overwhelming support of black voters feeling compelled to choose a black woman to double-represent them? Oh, she didn't, she represented the white vote? Uhhhh). But it was a mistake of the past, and so you had to deal with it. Now, though, it comes off as doubling down on that mistake! Just not acknowledging the political errors of the past four years.

Which is a recurring theme of this year - constant whining from the Biden camp that their record wasn't being "sold hard enough" to a voting public that fucking hated him. I can almost imagine it as a moment of stubborness - fine, you don't want me? Then you get my VP; my choice, *I* get to decide.

I don't want to read too much into one article of course, but it is one more datapoint for my already strongly held prior that the Biden team just completely lost the plot in 2024.

[alipeeps]

Episode 20

Goddammit Bai Jiu, you had better be pulling a double agent thing like Pei Sijing turned out to be or I swear I will never forgive you!

This flashback montage of how he lied to everyone is giving me the rages.

I can't help thinking about him just the previous episode telling Li Lun that Zhu Yan (who had gotten himself trapped in a demon-suppressing cage in order to protect Bai Jiu) "Zhao Yuanzhou is my best friend". Grrrrr...

Ugh, and the flashback montage of how he sealed Zhu Yan's senses is even worse! You sneaky, devious little shit, Bai Jiu.

Fuck's sake, they've been working towards this from the very start, right down to the list of people to be on the team...

I keep feeling like there is information that either I have missed or that simply was not presented in previous eps? Last ep they said Pei Sijing was the Prime Minister's representative - and I was like, eh? Since when?

And now Wen Zongyu says she's the Prime Minister's bodyguard?! I don't remember that ever being mentioned?

Oh fuuuuuuck!! So it WAS Chongwu Camp running that clinic with the imprisoned demons 8 years ago...

And 8 years later it is still the ever-burning wood - that Zhu Yan accidentally absorbed back then - that Wen Zongyu is after!

Well, the little shit does at least look a bit conflicted...

And.. right, okay, I watch a lot of cdrama, I know this is just how it goes, it's very common to have scenes where they stand around dramatically talking about their schemes etc and almost kinda waiting for the next move/attack to be made etc but really?

You've had it laid out in explicit detail that all they need to do is use a needle to seal your sense of touch and that's it, kiss your core goodbye, but you're still gonna just stand there and watch and wait for them to come at you with the needle? You could turn around and be out that fucking door in a heartbeat dude, why don't you?

Oh SHIT the entire room is painted with demon-suppressing charms?!!

Dude, just fucking RUN then - you can outpace a fucking 13 year old, surely?

Annnd now you can't do that because the cavalry has arrived to cut off your exit.

Pleeeeeeease tell me we're gonna get one of those famous GJM flashbacks where it turns out they suspected something and they planned for this?

Ayyyy teleport device for the win!!

And from the sigh of relief, Bai Jiu did not want to have to do this. But that doesn't fucking change that he has been doing it right up until this point.

Uhhhh is that not the Prime Minister's carriage that previously stopped for "Wen Xiao" who was blocking the road? Why is it now seeping blood as it passes along the street...

I guess Not-Wen Xiao was hungry eh?

Ahh Zhuo Yichen, Zhuo YIchen...

Yeah best not to pin your hopes on maybe's... this is a cdrama after all...

Situ's mansion? Am I having memory lapses again? That sound's familiar but I can't think why...

Oh and presumably it's because of Mr Situ who has just arrived in a panic. Can we assume the guards are here to arrest Wen Xiao for eating the Prime Minister?

Hold up, it's Chongwu Camp that have come for her? How come they keep coming around to enforce things on behalf of the Prime Minister?

Oh ya think?!!

Oooh she's clever...

Oh she's VERY clever! Ask Mr Situ to hide you in his mansion... where you can then search for the divine wood!!

Oooh dontcha just wanna punch that smirk off his face?

This fishpond is so fucking extra and I love it so..

Oh you've got a wife hidden away in a sealed fucking room have you bro? Bedridden and sensitive to light and wind, is she? That doesn't exactly explain why the room is literally sealed shut?!!

Oh and was that a glimpse of the inside of the room with branches in it?

Oh wtf wait is Mr Situ Bai Jiu's dad?! I hadn't connected the names before. So the mystery wife who is sealed away is Bai Jiu's mum? The one who we've previously seen footage of Bai Jiu crying outside her room as branches spread out from under the door? Is Mrs Situ a pagoda demon as I have previously theorised?

My god these two. Zhu Yan's like.. didn't expect you to be the subject of a city wide hunt.. impressive! And Wen Xiao's like... why shouldn't I be.. are you doubting my ability to excel?

Is poor Zhuo Yichen now the only one who doesn't know about Bai Jiu? Shouldn't somebody maybe clue him in?

Why would the crime scene carriage be sent to Demon Hunting Bureau when it's a) Chongwu Camp who are charged with arresting the alleged perpetrator and b) Demon Hunting Bureau could well be assumed to be biased in favour of Wen Xiao and not objective in assessing the evidence?

Yeah why has he been carrying that copy of the book around all this time?

Check out Sherlock fucking Holmes here making deductions about the owner of this book based on its appearance...

Ahhh finally the penny has dropped for Zhuo Yichen that they've previously encountered a demon who was able to appear as Wen Xiao...

Ayyy it's our favourite mountain god!!

Oooh you clever boy, you purified the yao water? Plan "repair the baize token" is back on track!!

Aaaaand yup Ao Yin is the demon Li Lun released from the cage at the clinic 8 years ago...

I sure hope that confidence is warranted. Maybe you should be... ohh I dunno... looking at how to unseal your 4 senses so that you are not still vulnerable to having the last 1 sealed?

And didn't I fucking say that somebody needs to warn Zhuo Yichen about Bai Jiu? Cos here the little fucker is and Zhuo dage has no fucking idea that he's a Chongwu Camp traitor.

Yeah you better run you little shit.

Oh man, that's badass. I love when we get a reminder of just how powerful - and scary - he really is.

Oh wait, lemme guess, Wen Zongyu promised him that whatever skanky research he is performing with demon blood - and that he needs the ever-burning wood from Zhao Yuanzhou for - can cure whatever's going on with Bai Jiu's mum?

Goddamn this kid is such a good actor though. It's killing me that we may never get to see his portrayal of Xia Sini/kiddy Chu Wanning in Immortality - he will have fucking nailed it, I'm sure.

FUCKING CALLED IT!! That bastard promised him to save his mum if he joined the Demon Hunting Bureau and sealed Zhu Yan's 5 senses.

Oh fuck the baby Xiao Jiu actor is super fucking cute!!

Uhoh is that a blood moon? Is it (again!) the same one from 8 years ago where Zhu Yan wigged out?

And did Bai Jiu's pagoda spirit mum also lose control of her powers during that blood moon?

Oh dang so his name is Situ Jiu and he chose Bai Jiu when he went to train under Wen Zongyu.

And again Wen Zongyu said his mum was killed by a demon. Is that a mis-translation? Like... is she ill... or dead?

And I still think she was not so much killed/made ill by a demon as... she is a demon and she lost control/something went wrong...

She's not dead or ill she's.... a tree!

Fucking knew it!

What on earth was the point of keeping this from him all this time though Mr Situ? Ffs...

Ah-ha!! Mummy was not just a demon, she was half-demon, half-god, like Ying Lei... and that's why Bai Jiu had divine power... and why the pagoda demon said he was lying when he said he was human...

Oh wow, she's proper old school demi-god too, as old as the gods...

Ah fuck so it was the same blood moon and it was the disappearance of the baize token that injured her and made her revert to her true form. So... presumably fixing the baize token might also fix her?

(And if she is descended from the same source as the divine wood... would wood from her tree form serve as the divine wood needed to repair the token? And is that why the clues about the divine wood were rumoured to be hidden at Situ mansion?)

That is a very good fucking question.

Why the FUCK didn't you tell your goddamn son what was going on Mr Situ, instead of leaving him hurting all these years and wide open to being manipulated by the bad guys?!!

You fucking tell him Zhuo Yichen.

Fucking kid's got more guts and responsibility than any of you bloody adults.

But Xiao Jiu, sweetie, can I please recommend that you put all of your clever medical knowledge to immediate use to fucking unseal all that you've done to Zhu Yan so that he is no longer vulnerable to being sealed by a single fucking needle?

Ah fuck... was that ending Chongwu camp closing in on them while they were all having a heart to heart?

[hypervoxel]

Oh, so, like, the entire first season's establishment of the characters and their interactions don't actually matter in Helluva Boss. Okay, cool.

Like, I get that characterization develops over time and the writers come up with new ideas and places they want to take the story, but. So much of the Stolas/Blitzø stuff recently isn't character development: it's retconning.

[nejackdaw]

(reads my own fic) woah. I'm so good at my job

[todayisafridaynight]

any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that

if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it

[sukugo]

got COCKBLOCKED in my own HOUSE (both literally and figuratively 🤔)

[fingertipsmp3]

Can’t tell if I actually genuinely think this job interview tomorrow is a bad idea, or I’m just trying to convince myself it is because I don’t want to do it

[crossbackpoke-check]

i’m not sure if you’ve heard yet but nico’s tattoo is all of his family members’ astrological signs smushed together which is so… i’m obsessed

NO I HAD NOT HEARD!!!!! (partially because tumblr decided i was not to see people’s asks??)

oh my god. oh my god. that is so unbelievably. actually i take it back it is incredibly believable and i love that for him

[washedoutwings]

yeah so uhhhh we’re always permanently low on motivation so umm yeah sorry but we are doing one of those note things

20 notes: we will try to take our meds more consistently

50 notes: draw at least something once a week

70 notes: eat something for breakfast every day (at least an apple or protein drink)

100 notes: start keeping better track of our delusions/hallucinations

150 notes: tell our therapist about 2 of our headmates

200 notes: start a system journal

300 notes: tell our therapist about 5 of our headmates

500 notes: tell our therapist about all of our headmates

700 notes: tell our doctor about about our chronic pain

1000 notes: eat something medium for breakfast at least three days a week (like a bowl of cereal)

1500 notes: ask our closer friends to use she/her less (they know that we’re trans)

from here on it’s more about just good habits that we don’t have much motivation for instead of self care type stuff, so less important

2000: draw every day (when possible)

2500: finish writing one of our wip stories/fics

3500: start working on an art commissions portfolio

4500: start working on a writing commissions portfolio

6000: set up art commissions

8000: set up writing commissions

sorry, we feel really guilty about this but we really need some motivation for this stuff. honestly we don’t expect this to even get to 20, but that’s fine! no deadline, ummm if you really want to spam idc, feel free to tag people. i’m not gonna tag anyone, i don’t want anyone to feel pressured

edit: WHAT THE FUCK where did yall come from???????

edit 2: damn i was offline for like 2 days and it was barely at 300 and we log back on to 500+ uhhhh thanks ig lol

edit 3: well we’re almost at 700 so..i guess i’m gonna add a couple more?

edit 4: the gimmicks got to us…also added some more

[othercrossee]

if youre asking about my writing for palina and irida in the timeskip one, its probably that they will never ever be as close as they were before. or its better to say they were never that close to begin with

[johnnycakesb14de]

I don't know if this goes past your rules but can you do like (greaser) x reader when someone in the gang catches y'all like making out?

HOW THEY WOULD REACT TO YOU GUYS GETTING CAUGHT MAKING OUT

DARRY

He would definitely be the more secretive type when it comes to kisses mostly because all of his friends are immature

But I imagine y'all would be in the kitchen alone it's his day off and the boys are out

One thing leads to another and y'all are just being romantic and showing affection by making out

Next thing you know you hear the traditional caught-off-guard-cough-laugh

Darry looks up and sees Dally, Johnny and Ponyboy.

"Y'all enjoying yourselves?"

"Shut the fuck up Dallas."

SODAPOP

He was on break at the DX and you stopped by to see him and bring him food because you wanted to hang out with your boyfriend

Y'all were in the back just hanging out be cuties

Hes flirting with you

You know giving his typical sodapop charm flashing you his million dollar smile

He kisses you a few times and it leads to a make out and y'all are just in the moment not really thinking about muchv

Then Steve walks in

cunt

"Hey so what ar- HELLO? WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Y'all both turn around and you roll your eyes in embarrassment

"Do that on your own time please."

"Shut up Steve."

PONYBOY

Say your older in this maybe like 15-16 because for the first while of y'all dating you wouldn't be allowed in his room alone even with the door open Darrys just crazy like that

Y'all were in his room working on some homework or just hanging out when you totally very sneakily shut the door all the way thinking Darry won't find out because he's cooking

And start kissing

Not even two minutes later Darrys nosy ass barges in

"What did I say about the door kidd- Oh excuse me?!?!"

Y'all create distance from each other staring at him wide eyed

"I swear it isn't w-"

"be quiet Ponyboy. I have these rules for a reason, you guys can come into the living room since you can't be trusted."

"Why?"

"Y/N, don't start."

Johnny

Yall were in the lot because where else would you be

You kissed him a few times and it let to a slight make out nothing crazy

Two-bit came up to tell Johnny that unfortunately Dally had been arrested for some odd reason

And the SECOND he sees you he's instantly teasing y'all

he's trying to tease you but he ends up just making it really uncomfortable

"Lord almighty, what's going on here?! Save room for Jesus, she might get pregnant!" Insert two-bit laugh wheeze

"Cut it out man."

DALLAS

Y'all were at Bucks for some party and it was getting really loud

You were overstimulated, Dally was tipsy and everyone was getting on his nerves so he took you outfront for some fresh air

Dally was being Dally and talking to you and kissing you a few times and it leads to a make out

Then Steve walks out

(I imagine him and Dally are actually pretty good friends)

He starts laughing

"Uhhhh, Dal'! Y'know where Evie is?"

"Why the fuck would I know where your girlfriend is?"

"I dunno, just wonderin'."

He rolled his eyes and dramatically sighed

Steve

You were at work with him trying to help him

Which actually just meant he was yelling at you for certain tools

You were getting bored he was getting frustrated because he couldn't figure out what was wrong with the car so you told him to to take a small break

So he took a break and you both just started talking and he kisses you

After he pulled away you kissed him back

Darry walks in looking for Soda

"Oh, my bad. I was just looking for Soda"

"In the back Darry."

He leaves and you laugh

Two-bit

Y'all were at the drive-in just hanging out

He was bothering people yk just being two-bit

And somehow you both ended up at the drag race that Steve, Soda and Dallas were at

You were leaned up against the hood of his car and he was in front of you and you were making out

Soda comes up and laughs at y'all

"HAHAHA, Steve come look!'

Two-bit looks at him and also starts laughing because hes two-bit

And your just there like 'omfg'

[nina-ya]

When You Fake It (Zoro x Reader NSFW)

Law Version! A/N: happy kinktober!! this is an unofficial submission for it lol it's zoro yearning hours out here!!! Pairing: Zoro x AFAB reader CW: smut MINORS DNI, P in V sex, missionary, riding, unprotected sex (Wrap it up), creampie uhhhh I'm bad at warnings if I missed anything lmk • masterlist • ko-fi • discord server •

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Zoro looms above you, his thick, hard cock sliding in and out of your drenched pussy. Your body jolts with each thrust, the bed creaking with the force. His hands grip your hips tightly, holding you in place as he drives into you, the sounds of flesh against flesh filling the air along with your shared ragged breaths. 

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he growled, voice strained. You nod in response, biting your lips as your body rocks beneath his large frame. The stretch of him inside you never seems to get less intense, the sensation of his cock dragging against your walls sharp and deep… but its not hitting the way you need it to. You try to focus and fall into the rhythm of his movements, but the pleasure just isn’t building the way it usually does.

His hips snap forward, faster now, and you force a moan, making it loud and particularly breathy, hoping that it’ll trick your mind into pulling you closer to the edge. Instead, it just feels distant. Detached. 

“You close?” Zoro pants, his gaze dropping to where his cock disappears into you, watching the way your greedy hole sucks him in with each thrust. His fingers dig harder into your skin, the force enough to leave marks where the fingertips lay. 

You nod again, squeezing your eyes shut. You couldn’t bear to tell him that you were far from it. Couldn’t admit that something was missing, not when he’s like this- not when he’s giving you his all. So instead, you arch your own back, hands sliding down to grip the bedsheets below you, and you make yourself moan again. This time louder, higher pitched, doing anything in your power to make him believe your actions. 

“Zoro,” you gasp, breath hitching. He grunts in response, his pace becoming erratic as he pushes into you deeper, harder. The thick heat of him fills you completely, but the pleasure you oh so desperately crave still doesn’t come.

So you just decide to rip off the bandaid and fake it. You tense your body, trying to move in the way that you have done dozens of times before in this exact same scenario. You close your eyes, arch your back off the bed and let out a choked, broken cry, jerking your hips up as you do everything you can to put on the most convincing act possible. You clench around him, squeezing tight as you whimper out his name, and just internally pray that he buys it. 

You almost sigh in relief as he slows down, and for just a second, you think you’ve gotten away with it, your body slowly relaxing against the sheets. But then, you open your eyes to meet his and the heat in his gaze makes your stomach churn. Zoro is watching you closely, and that look in his eyes tells you that he is not entirely convinced by your performance.

“Did you fake it?” it was a straightforward question– one that had an almost challenging undertone to it right alongside the obvious suspicion. 

Your heart stutters in your chest as you realize your lies are crumbling apart by the second. “I-” you start, stumbling over your words, “I didn’t-” but the lie doesn’t come easily. You know he can see right through you, see how you are just putting on some poor excuse of an act. 

Zoro raises an eyebrow, expression unreadable, and suddenly the weight of his body on top of you feels much much heavier with the occasional pulse of his cock deep inside of you not letting you forget just how full he has you.

You swallow hard and your hands reach up and slide over his broad shoulders. You can’t hide from him, not when he’s looking at you like this- like he knows exactly what happened. “I’m sorry,” you mumble in defeat. “I just wasn’t feeling it.”

He’s silent for a moment, but then Zoro dips his head down, lips brushing against your neck as he kisses a trail of warmth along the column of your neck. “Why didn’t you ay something?” his voice is softer now, the rasp of his breath hot against your skin. “What’s wrong, huh? Tell me what you need.”

You can feel the sincerity in his question, his concern, but your words seem to be trapped in your throat. You’re not quite sure whato say, not even sure what is it that you need. Instead of verbalizing your response, your hands slide down to his chest, pushing gently. Zoro watches you for a beat, expression shifting to realization as he leans back allowing you to guide him. You press harder, silently asking for control, and he complies as he shifts under your touch as you push him onto his back.

He lets out a low hum of approval, hands resting on your hips as you straddle him, his cock still nestled deep inside of you. “Take what you want, then,” he murmurs, voice low and velvety. “Make yourself feel good. I’ve got you.”

You settle on top of him, your thighs trembling as you take a moment to adjust to the different angle that allowed him to feel much deeper inside. It’s a moment of control, and it feels better- feels right. And Zoro just watches you, hands on your hips as he supports you.

You bite your lip, testing the waters with a slow roll of your hips, feeling every inch of him drag against your gummy walls. The pressure, the stretch- its intense,  but its now all on your own terms, building into something that sends shivers down your spine. You hear the green haired man groan below you, and watch as his fingers twitch against your waist as if he’s barely holding back.

Each roll of your hips against him seems to spark a flame within you and you move with more confidence, finding that pace that makes heat pool in your belly, the pleasure nothing short of real this time. Your movements grow bolder, each motion of your hip more purposeful, grinding down until you feel that electric friction right where you need it most. Zoro’s cock twitches inside of you with every roll of your body and you cant stop the tilt of your head back as gasps of pleasure fill the air. 

Your nails dig into his chest, leaving small crescent marks in his skin as you ride him with abandon now, the pressure between your legs building and building until you are trembling on the edge. There’s no room for pretending anymore– this is real, the heat between your thighs scorching, the sensation of being so full, so utterly taken over by the moment.

“Fuck… Zoro…” you moan, the words slipping out before you can stop them. It’s as if your senses are heightened and every touch, smell, sound, and taste are all on a different level. 

“Good,” he grunts out, hips twitching upward, meeting you halfway as you sink down onto him again. “Thats, it. Don’t stop.”

But how could you? Your body feels like it’s on fire, your clit throbbing in time with your rapidly beating heart as the waves of pleasure grow closer and closer to their peak, threatening to drown you in sheer bliss. 

The sensations intensify and soon you feel that familiar pressure coiling tighter and tighter within you. You lean forward, panting and breathlessly saying his name over and over again like a mantra and he responds by thrusting upwards, the bulbous head of his cock bullying that one spot inside you that has you reeling with pleasuere.

Your body oh so craves release as you feel yourself teetering on the brink, and thats when he speaks up. He urges you, his voice low and deep, “I can.. ah fuck-... I can feel how close you are. Just let go for me.” 

And thats when that coil just snaps.

The tension that had built so intensely within you shatters like glass, sending shards of pleasure exploding throughout your veins. You cry out, a broken sound escaping your lips as your body convulses in pure ecstasy. Your hands tremble against his chest in your futile attempt to keep yourself grounded while the focus around you shrinks until all that’s left is the pleasure coursing through you. Your walls clench around him, spasaming with each wave of your orgasm in a cycle of overwhelming bliss that seems to stretch on forever.

Zoro’s breath hitches, and you can sense the way he’s watching you– that gaze flickering between your face and that spot where you two connect as he drinks in every detail of your release. “That’s it. Just like that,” he grunts as he grips your hips, guiding you as you ride the waves of your climax.

But he doesn’t stop. Not even after you left that ring of your milky white essence coating the base of his cock. He continues to thrust into you, chasing his own high. It’s a delicious feeling that nearly sends you spiraling again, the sensitivity from your orgasm leaving your mind in a total state of disarray. 

“Zoro, a-ah! t- too much-” you gasp out, your words swallowed and replaced by broken whimpers and shaky gasps as his thrusts grow more urgent. 

You could see the way his eyes are clamped shut, eyebrows scrunched in focus, jaw slack as hot puffs of breath release with the occasional grunt. All tell tale signs that he was close as well. He mutters out something confirming your thoughts, but you can only focus on the way his pelvis slams up into your clit over and over again, sending you jolting and whining out with the overwhelming sensations. 

And with one final thrust, he gasps as his hips stutter into you before he stills completely, emptying his balls into your throbbing cunt. You could feel the way his cock twitches with each spurt of his seed, mixing with the remnants of your own release. 

You sigh out as you collapse onto him, the sweat of your bodies mixing as you both pant. Neither of you move, not daring to interrupt the blissful silence as the world comes back into focus. When he pulls out, you whimper at the sudden emptiness, feeling your combined slick pools between your legs. As you shift and settle onto his side, you press lazy kisses against any exposed skin you can readily reach and Zoro responds in kind, pressing kisses to your forehead as his fingers trace your body in lazy patterns. Something about this moment fills you both with the desire to recreate it over and over again. But that’s for another time. For now, you two simply will soak in the afterglow of your feelings for each other, and thats more than enough.

[aha-chuu]

Here's the thing. "Renheng but Blade is immortal and nothing goes wrong" goes totally against the themes set up in HSR. But it's so fucking funny.

So, Dan Feng loves Yingxing whatever. They decide to make Yingxing immortal together and then BAM no one finds out (so no big crime to be arrested for) but there's two ways to play it. Either they have to slowly gaslight everyone into believing YX was a long life species this whole time, or they have to somehow pretend this is not YX, this is some other 100% naturally immortal dude and Dan Feng just has the Most specific type ever, to the point that he basically got his exes twin but immortal with a cooler haircut.

And with the gaslighting idea - I think it could work. No one's gonna notice that YX isn't aging for at least a few years, probably more since everyone they know is long-life and they likely have a warped perception of how regular aging works. So DF & YX just gotta wait like 5-10 years, slowly dropping hints that "oh yeah can't wait till our 150th anniversary!!" And Jing Yuan is like "... Hmm is that normal? That's probably normal?".

Cos also. Who's gonna mention it? Like it's gonna take so long for anyone to notice, is Jingliu gonna eventually sit them down like "you did a big sin didn't you" and then YX and DF just play dumb: "what??? Jingliu what are you on about? Is Mara eating all your memories of YX definitely being immortal this whole time?" So that's not good for Jingliu's mental health but whatever.

Anyway so Dan Feng and Yingxing have successfully scammed everyone but DF is still definitely the High Elder and absolutely no one wants him to be dating this guy. Also the dragon heart is missing cos it's in YX's chest and surely the Preceptors would check up on that? Like a renewal service? Some sort of 200-year check-up? Does DF have to take his bf with him so the aura is nearby? It's just a game of "how dumb are these guys?" Until all those preceptors reincarnate into ones who DF can convince "oh no the High Elder is supposed to give the dragon heart to their beloved. Yeah it's a ritual. Oh the immortality uh no Yingxing had that forever obviously".

Eventually YX is gonna get stabbed and he's definitely more immortal than everyone else. More gaslighting ensues probably, cos otherwise it's like?? He's just an abundance monstrosity (Jingliu is seeing red rn) and Jing Yuan has sussed it out at this point but yknow he likes YX; he prefers him being alive than dead. Jingliu is gonna stab YX for being an undying monstrosity and JY steps in - "nooo don't you know I mean ig your parents never told you but if uhhhh you suck enough dragon dick this is totally normal -" and anyway Sanctus Medicus get a lil fetishy sex crazed from that conspiracy theory.

Then later DF has to be reborn which is sad, but I like to think YX just takes like. A gap year from their relationship. He's a divorced old man he deserves a mid life crisis while DH gets the "plss don't fall in love this idiot guy again" speech from the other Vidyadhara but it's working like reverse psychology, DH is all "pshh I'm way too put-together for that!!" And anyway YX is still a hot piece of ass so DH fails immediately.

One day DH gets a dream memory about the whole sinning part of their relationship and has to come to terms with That™ meanwhile YX is sipping a mimosa while he's having a moral dilemma. "No babe it's fine it's like. Yeah it is a hellish sin but it's cute that you're so worried about it. No they can't try us for crimes we did so long ago don't worry" meanwhile JY is still dealing with the paperwork nightmare from YX's birth certificate definitely not being that of a long-life person's but ehh.

Basically fluffy unproblematic renheng where no one gets amnesiaed or tortured is great and good even if it laughs in the face of canon.

[ghoulphile]

no use cryin' over spilled milk | c.h./the ghoul

➥ pairing | cooper howard/the ghoul x f!reader ➥ word count | 2.8 k ➥ warning(s) | 🔞 smut; dirty talk, frottage, lactation kink, pregnant!reader, fingerfucking, praise kink, breast play, the ghoul calls reader pretty mama, he's a pervert who wants to lend a 'helping' hand ➥ summary | based off this ask; oops being an experiment from vault 4 where you may be the first rad resistant human pregnant with a possibly rad resistant baby, and you come across the ghoul who helps you get to a safe place but then he gets attached with you and the baby 🥺 (this is just me trying to insert a lactation kink somewhere i'm sorry) ➥ notes | uhhhh pls let me know if i missed anything, my brain is dribbling out my ears (its 3:44 am and i have work at 8 am rip) but the parasites persist. i'll do the tag list when i wake up ❤️ masterlist | feel free to send in thots, questions, requests! | feedback is always appreciated ❤️

Going topside wasn’t an easy decision.

In fact, bile bitter regret often lingers in the back of your throat - a lump that stifled the air in your lungs.

And while you might’ve been bioengineered to survive better under these harsh wasteland conditions, every time you find yourself in a less than ideal situation, you're catapulted headlong into paralyzing self doubt; alone and rudderless.

No one lives in the vaults - not truly.

Birdie (and the others) warned you of what awaited beyond those lead-lined walls. But you couldn’t abide spending the rest of your life trapped in a cage, albeit a gilded one.

Not anymore.

Oh no, you wanted to feel a real breeze instead of air pumped through the HVAC. Experience the sun baking warm into your skin like fresh bread instead of the artificial heat of the UV lamp used for mandatory light therapy sessions. Complain about the chafe of sand in your shoes and hear the crunch of dirt under foot instead of a hollow clunk of sterile metal.

To witness first hand all the sights, sounds, and smells this world offers. 

Only… you didn’t expect it to be this hard.

Nor did you expect to be pregnant when setting off into the great unknown on your own (a definite oversight on your part [you really shouldn’t have had one last hurrah before hitting the road]).

Through trial and error, motion sicknesses that swing into crippling nausea as manic energy - your first taste of true freedom! - dwindled into dragging fatigue, you found a happy medium. None of which would have been possible had it not been for the most unlikely of companions.

Ghouls; who knew, huh?

Sure, you’d heard of them from the rotating door of visitors that found themselves at Vault 4, but you’d never seen them. While you grew up surrounded by visible mutations, seeing the battlefield of his body was off putting; how a person could survive a patina of burns and patchwork slices without unraveling at the seams was beyond you.

And kind of frightening.

But he took it in stride, introducing himself as Ghoul. Refused to divulge anything else of substance no matter how much you poked and prodded.  His life pre-bomb was a complete mystery filled with plot holes and unanswered questions (which is exactly what he preferred).

You learned to be comfortable with his meandering conversations, and all the words he spoke that said much of nothing. And what you did glean, you did so through observation alone. 

He was alone - had been for a very long time.

He was very old - one of the last of his kind.

And he was, in his own way, very kind - at least by wasteland standards.

“The fuck you doin’?”

Pausing, you stop mid push and hover awkwardly on your hands and knees. The vault suit pulls taut across your hips, pinching behind your knees uncomfortably. Your toes squeak in your shoes, socks thoroughly soaked through with sweat.

It’s been unseasonably hot (or it’s the hormones). Whatever the case, this is the first semi-decent lodging you’ve camped in for weeks, and you’re not about to miss an opportunity to freshen up.

And maybe find a way to soothe the building ache in your tits - flesh swollen tender and nipples rubbed raw.

“I’m just, uh, gonna,” you motion towards the back of the house, the askew bathroom door clinging to its hinges by a corner, “y’know, f-freshen up. See if they don’t still have some water.”

The Ghoul scans you up and down, gimlet-eyed. “S’that so?”

You huff, your knees starting to ache.

Being five months pregnant throws your center of gravity for a loop, the atmosphere weighing extra heavy on your bones. It doesn’t help that the baby’s decided sitting directly on your bladder with a foot tucked under your ribs is the best position.

“Didn’t know I needed permission to take a piss now,” you snipe. Usually, you try to reign in the hormones but the day’s been too long and you’re in pain. Anyone would be a little snippy (right?). “Can I do that on my own or do you need to watch, Mr. Ghoul?”

A faint smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth, his gaze glinting from beneath the rim of his hat as he tips his head. “Better watch it, sweetheart,” he says. “Otherwise, I might have’ta wash your mouth out with soap.”

Pushing yourself up with a grunt, you determinedly ignore the raspy chuckle that follows as you waddle towards the bathroom. Cussing him out all the while in your mind.

While he’s been ‘nicer’ today - stopping for extra breaks, even packing it in several hours earlier than usual because he noticed how weary you looked - he’s still an asshole.

The toilet’s gone, the tub’s tipped sideways, the linoleum’s cracked, and closing the door sounds like a pack of howling mole rats but its functional. When you catch your reflection in the spider web fractures of the mirror, you grimace.

The wastes have certainly left their mark on you. Gone is the prim-and-proper vault dweller, replaced by a gremlin of a woman Overseer Benjamin would surely scowl at.

A true ‘surfie’ now.

“Great,” you groan, scrubbing a palm over your face. “Just - ugh!”

You’re caked in grime, a steak of dirt smeared across the bridge of your nose. Mysterious stains darken the blue fabric, the golden stripes of your suit an off-putting grey.

Your hair clumps in greasy chunks. You’re glossy with sweat, and while your curves have plumped up over the last few months, you didn’t realize just how much until now.

The vault suit’s always been tight - now it clings and creases in unflattering places. And there’s nothing you can do about it, unless the Ghoul is willing to spare a sewing kit.

You could let the waist out some…

What the hell am I gonna do if he won’t? There’s no way I’ll fit if this baby gets any bigger. Shit, I look like a fucking sausage. Your hand cradles the side of your stomach, stroking over the bump with a frown. This is all your fault, you little parasite.

“You better be so fucking cute - the cutest goddamn baby in the wasteland. Or I will riot.”

Tugging down the zipper over your breasts is heaven, the swollen flesh spilling out of the parting fabric, no longer compressed. It’s almost enough to make you cry as you struggle to tug the lycra off your shoulders, the fabric putting up a fight.

After some awkward contortions that pull uncomfortably at the muscles of your shoulder blades, you manage to wrangle yourself free.

The temptation to burn the stupid goddamn suit is almost too much to resist, but then you’d really be traipsing around the wasteland in the nude and just… no.

Peeling off your undershirt is another story altogether, the soft cotton feeling like sandpaper as it scrapes over sensitive skin. Your nerves tingle with awareness, bolts of pain shooting through your nipples with every shift.

Quick like a bandaid, you think, taking a steadying inhale.

It’s a miracle you don’t scream.

Tears cling to your lashes, your nose running as you toss the shirt to the side with one hand and cradle your chest with the other. Sure, you’ve had tenderness with your period but this kind of pain? A whole new level.

You almost don’t know what to do with yourself.

How is this fair - aren’t you suffering enough?

Sniffling, you peer down at your tits and gingerly cup them with your palms. Swollen hard and warm to the touch; a heavy weight crushing your ribs.

Do I really have to milk myself like a fucking brahmin? Another bolt of lightning crackles through your nerve endings as if in response. Fine. God, this is embarrassing.

Only any attempt at touching your nipples produces pure agony, shards of glass biting into delicate skin.

No matter how slight your touch, no matter how gentle your fingers - it doesn’t work. Leaves you more distraught and in pain than when you began as inflamed nerve endings crackle and burn.

And when the tears truly start, the dam breaks. It’s not long before they drip down your cheeks in fat rivulets, your breath hitching from you in pathetic little exhales.

Your fist shoves against your mouth in an attempt to smother the sounds, teeth sinking into your knuckle until you leave sore indents.

But you should know better, not only does the Ghoul have heightened senses (he’s taunted you constantly with this fact like the asshole he is), but he’s uncannily perceptive in a very annoying way.

You don’t hear the squeal of the door, but you do sense his presence behind you; the rad warm burn of his body as he stops a scant few inches away. You feel his breath against the nape of your neck, the barest brush of his chest as he inhales.

“You ready ta stop bein’ stubborn?” he hums. “I thought I told you not ta wait s’long.”

Your voice warbles from you, “G’way.” You curl into yourself, shoulders hunching as you hang your head. “Don’t need your help.”

The Ghoul snorts. “Cuz you doin’ so well on your own, huh?”

“I resent that.” You shoot him a weak glare, the animosity ruined by the crumble of your lips. “I really, really do.”

You hate always having to rely on him, so desperate to prove that you can take care of yourself only to have every effort to do so thrown back in your face.

Shit, you hate how right Birdie was, “Honey, you won’t last five minutes on your own. Please stay here with us where it’s safe.”

“Well, maybe so. But pickers can’t be choosers, sweetheart,” he shrugs with a languid roll of the shoulders. “Ain’t no use cryin’ over spilled milk. C’mon, the longer you wait, the worse it’s gon be.”

“I just - you don’t understand…”

He reaches around you to set his hat on the sink, the dwindling light of twilight creeping in through the holes in the roof to bathe him in its bloody light.

He looks like a grotesque demon that clawed its way from the depths of hell. It gets your pulse thudding, electric awareness an unwelcome visitor as it roosts behind your navel.

“I understand plenty. Now, let me.”

Not an offer - not really.

More akin to a demand, one wrapped up pretty like a gift. You’ve been here many times before, and while the Ghoul proffers his help under the guise of not wanting to hear your bitching and moaning, the hungry gleam of his eyes as they rake over your face say otherwise.

If it’s one thing you’ve learned in your travels with him, it’s this: he is entirely self-serving. He offers because he wants to suck on a set of pretty tits. If you happen to cream your panties while he does, well, he counts it as a win-win.

Quid pro quo.

And what you hate more than how utterly correct everyone is about life on the surface, is how needy he makes you. How desperate and dumb and dripping he’s got you by the end, drunk off the flick of his tongue and the rasp of his touch.

Because it’s so hard to be strong in the face of pain when the solution is right there; open-palmed.

“...Fine, just don’t - don’t leave marks this time, okay?”

A slow waking smile creaks across his face, and he says, “I ain’t makin’ any promises, sweetheart.”

Your stomach swoops, and your thighs clench.

Shit.

Scarred lips work over tender flesh as a talented tongue flicks and swirls over the bumps of your areola, the tip digging into your nipple and drawing the swollen nub into a hot mouth. You whimper, arms tossed over the Ghoul’s broad shoulders.

Cold ceramic digs into the base of your spine, your body crowded back against the sink as he plasters himself to your front. Cuts off any escape routes and refuses to let you squirm away from the overwhelming sensations as he suckles.

Heavy palms grope at the plush curves of your hips, fingertips digging into the fat.

His lips pop off your nipple with a sticky smack. “Always taste s’fucking good,” he groans against your sternum. “Got the prettiest set a tits in the wasteland.”

“Hnn! N-Not so hard.”

While you say that, you don’t mean it - not really. Your pussy throbs in time with your heartbeat, clit swollen and aching for friction. Your inner thighs are a mess of slick, your vault suit caught around your knees.

He never touches you below the waist directly (some boundaries still exist between you two), but at this point in your pregnancy, you’re so sensitive a gentle breeze could set you off.

“Heh, ain’t you know lyin’s a sin?” he says.

A scarred cheek drags over the swell of your breast, the rasp of rad burn alighting your nerves. Bolts of desire ricochet down your spine, fizzle like Nuka Cola on your tongue. He presses an open mouth kiss to your nipple, his tongue flicking out to massage the tender bud.

At the taste of your skin, his cock twitches where its grinding against your thigh. You feel him through his ragged pinstripe slacks, his shaft a thick line of heat.

It’s probably the hormones (you refuse to admit its anything else) but just the thought of touching him, of sinking down onto his erection - feeling how fucking good he’d stretch you out and fill you up - makes you dizzy.

You pant, your voice distinctly whiny when you say, “Please, d-do something. It still hurts.”

His grin reminds you of the mongrels roaming the wastelands. “Sh,” he hushes you. “I got you, sweetheart.”

The tips of his fingers brush along the side of your swollen stomach. Your heart flips in your chest, your breath catching as he follows the contours of your body, reaching down to brush over the skin of your mound. This is new, he’s never done this before. It’s simultaneously as arousing as it is terrifying.

“Can smell how wet you are for me,” he says, tone low and gruff. “You gonna be a good girl for me, ain’t you?”

“I-”

Then his mouth is slurping at your tit, his teeth biting down on your nipple gently as those strong fingers dip between your thighs. Blunt nails scratch through your pubic hair, a calloused pad swirling circles around your slippery clit. Your hips jump, your head rolling back between your shoulders as a loud moan rips itself from your throat.

You arch back so far your belly presses against the Ghoul’s, your tits smothering his face.

You think, half deliriously, it’s a good thing he doesn’t have a nose otherwise you might’ve broken it.

“Shit, that’s so - oh, fuck, please, please, please!’

Your legs widen to make room for his hand as yours fly up to grab his biceps, nails biting into the rough leather of his duster.

His tongue flutters across your areola. “C’mon, pretty mama, give it ta me.”

“Oh.” Sparks dance behind your eyes, your knees shaking as the Ghoul strokes over your folds, tests your wetness and the give of your cunt as he plays with your entrance. “Right there,” you gasp. “I’m gonna…”

He grunts, tugging on your nipple with his teeth.

The sharp bite of pain shoots through you, deepens the kindling warmth behind your navel that steadily builds and builds and builds. You feel on the very edge, nerves plucked like the keys of a piano.

So close you can taste it.

Then a tingling starts in the tips of your fingers.

Burns its way up your arms to settle in the weight of your chest, pins and needles pricking across the skin of your tits, lancing through the swollen buds of your nipples.

You tremble, the relief bringing tears to your eyes as tears the heaviness releases in a warm flood, your milk letting down to flow into the Ghoul’s eagerly pulling mouth.

“Fuckin’ finally,” he moans, chasing after the taste by nuzzling into your chest. His cock ruts against you. “Took you’re sweet damn time, didn’t you, darlin’?”

Your head spins, hazy thoughts scattering like confetti.

Endorphins simmer through your veins as you float on a cloud of cotton softness. Reality seems worlds away, your vision blurry as you focus on the points of contact between your bodies. The stretch of his fingers plunging into your pussy to stroke over the front wall.

Mouth slack, your hands creep up the Ghoul’s arms to trace over the sides of his neck, watch the dance of your fingers over his skin. “It feels s’good,” you slur. “Please don’t stop - wanna cum just like this.”

“Heh, wouldn’t dream of it.”

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

can u guess which gif will be at the end of this. can you guess. i'll bet at least a few of you can guess XD

Charlie: "New plan- group bonding through shared, SAFE, suffering!"

Alastor: “Oh joy~”

Husk: "Not this fucking shit again."

Angel Dust: "Well hey as long as it's consensual sufferin'~"

Niffty: (lifts arms at vaggie) "YEEET ME!!!"

Vaggie: "Ughh... no."

Niffty: "Aww."

Vaggie: "I'm never living that one down am I?"

Charlie: "Vaggie, you don't need to live anything down EVER-"

Alastor: "Cough cough! Lied to her girlfriend for three years, cough cough!"

Angel Dust: "Dude you're not supposed t' SAY cough."

Husk: “That’s the part you’re fucking annoyed at?”

Charlie: "-and the POINT is, your whole idea about going through hell to trust the people who go through it with you? Not entirely on the wrong track!"

Vaggie: "Yaaay."

Husk: "You fucked up but for the right un-shitty reasons."

Vaggie: "Great. Thanks."

Charlie: "SO! We're all gonna share the worst work day of our lives with each other!"

Niffty: "Share?" (excited) "By INFLICTING them on each other!?"

Charlie: "Talking, Niffty. We're going to, talk about them."

Niffty: "Aww...."

Husk: "Is there a time limit."

Angel Dust: "Is there a rating limit?"

Alastor: (thoughtful) "Does it still count as a terrible work day if I was able to murder them at the end of it?"

Charlie: "Uhhhh-"

Vaggie: "How 'bout we stick to how it made us feel, rather than all the... X rated... gory details?"

Niffty: (sighs) (slumps over) "This is my worst most terrible work day ever.."

Charlie: "And how do you FEEL about it?"

Niffty: "Sad..."

Vaggie: "I'll let you use my spear for roach hunting after this."

Niffty: (bouncing up) "OH THE EMOTIONS! WHATEVER ONES YOU WANT FROM ME I DON'T CARE, I HAVE THEM!!!"

Husk: "What the fuck."

Angel Dust: "Yeesh."

Charlie: "Okay that's, that's enough sharing from you. Good, um, good job!"

Niffty: "Spear spear spear-"

Charlie: "Well MY worst work day was definitely the one where we were besieged by an army of murderous angels heaven-bent on the full scale slaughter of most of my family! And they actually did kill one! Yeah- that." (laughs) "That fucking sucked and I hated it!"

Angel Dust, Husk, Niffty: (GASP)

Charlie: "What? What??"

Angel Dust: "You said the "H" word, toots.."

Vaggie: "She said a lot more than that while writing an angry text to heaven afterwards."

Charlie: "Hey! You checked the text for me- you know I was polite!"

Vaggie: "Charlie, it was the most aggressively polite 'fuck off' anyone's ever written in the history of all creation. I’m so proud of you for it."

Charlie: "Heh."

Alastor: “Cough get a room please cough.”

Angel Dust: “’m TELLING YOU that’s NOT how it’s supposed ‘t WORK you're not supposed t' SAY IT-”

Charlie: "Ah-hem. Um. Husk? Worst work day-?"

Husk: "Still living it."

Hotel Crew: "....."

Husk: "...but you stupid fuckers are keeping me company through it, so, fucking thanks I guess."

Charlie: (tearful) "Oh Husk. That's so..."

Angel Dust: "Love you too, Mr. Whiskers~"

Husk: "Shut the fuck up."

Vaggie: "Hey."

Husk: "Him, not her. The day your “her” shuts the fuck up is the day we all know we're fucked."

Charlie: "Gosh I hope not." (wipes eyes) "Angel Dust? You wanna...?"

Angel Dust: "My worst shitty day was also my BEST day."

Charlie: (bracing herself) "O...kay...?"

Angel Dust: "A friend came to work an' almost killed the boss for me. Can ya believe that? An' the only reason she didn't open him up a few new 'fun' an' 'interestin' holes of his own was 'cause I had to stop her."

Vaggie: "HELL YEAH!"

Charlie: "You mean-"

Angel Dust: "Yeah. Thanks, apple cheeks. I spent good crack money commissionin' fanart of you wrecking his shit."

Charlie: "WHAT!?"

Vaggie: "You have GOT to let me see that."

Charlie: "VAGGIE!"

Vaggie: "Oh come on, it's better than him buying crack, right?"

Angel Dust: "It def looks waaay better on my wall."

Charlie: "I- that's not-"

Niffty: "Is there BLOOD?"

Charlie: "Oh please don't let there be any-"

Angel Dust: "SO much blood, baby."

Charlie: "Noooo...!"

Vaggie: "Now I really need to see it."

Charlie: "H-WHA?"

Husk: "I really need a fucking drink."

Charlie: "I'm- you know what? I'm pretending I didn't hear any of that. La la la! I have complete deniability!"

Alastor: "That's the spirit! You hardly knew him, certainly never fantasized about decorating him with his own entrails! Just keep reminding yourself of that while hiding the body~!"

Charlie: "NO! Just.... well maybe for him..."

Vaggie: "You're so pretty."

Charlie: (pouting) "We need to commission a piece of you standing over Lute with your spear at her throat. It's not FAIR otherwise."

Vaggie: "Anything for you, babe."

Alastor: "How saccharine. Young love hand in hand, spattered in blood."

Charlie: "A-anyway. Alastor. Your turn."

Alastor: "Hmm. Well, there was the time someone reorganized the reels, somehow without mentioning it to me before air time. And without asking me before hand. But..."

Husk: "Here it comes."

Alastor: "Reorganized their organs for them later that night, likewise unasked, was QUITE fun."

Charlie: "I THOUGHT WE SAID WE COULD JUST TALK ABOUT OUR FEELINGS!"

Alastor: "My feelings?"

Niffty: "PURE UNDILUTED JOY"

Alastor: "Mm no, they didn't scream enough for that..."

Charlie: "AAAAAH!" (covers ears)

Alastor: "Shall we say perhaps, accomplished?"

Vaggie: "Over one murder? Wow. You're sure easy to please."

Alastor: "I've always believed in quality not quantity when it comes to my passion projects. Swift, thoughtless killings are so passé."

Angel Dust: "Y'know, meeting you has really ruined the whole dashing dapper man w' a tinted glass monocle for me. It's that creepy grin. You're a total boner kill."

Alastor: "Oh I do try."

Vaggie: "What about the day you died? Didn't you get fucking shot like a deer, venison a la Alastor?"

Alastor: "Fan of my history, hmm?"

Vaggie: "The TV future about it is pretty funny, not gonna lie."

Alastor: "Ah ha ha! TV DID YOU SAY."

Vaggie: "Vox airs it. Every day."

Alastor: "AND YOU WATCHED IT. HMM?"

Vaggie: "Every. Day."

Angel Dust: "I bring the popcorn and pills."

Husk: "I mix the fucking drinks."

Niffty: "I wish it had more BLOOD!"

Alastor: "ET TU, NIFFTY?"

Charlie: "Okay okay, that's WAY more than enough from you, reel back in the shadow monsters please-"

Alastor: "AHAHAHAH...!" (fades into shadows)

Angel Dust: "Creep. He's prob'ly vaping off to go curse the TV again."

Husk: "For mother fuck. I've got that cooking show coming on tonight. Will smacking the aerial with the angel spear get it working again?"

Vaggie: "Probably...?"

Charlie: "Vaggie!" (desperate) (hopeful) "You have a normal worst day at work to finish this exercise off with, right!?"

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: "Uh, well sweetie...."

[todayisafridaynight]

had to do the y4 final fight twice (bc i let tanimura die by accident but thats not the point of this) and during daigos the 1st time my head was empty no thoughts BUT 2nd time around i kept begging him to not hit his surrogate papa and saying i didnt want to hit my kid what happened between those two fights that made me go family brained its so funny to me

i should never be a dad because my immediate thought to this ask was 'no kiryu should supplex his dumbass kid actually'