#and if i work the closing shift instead there literally isn’t a bus late enough to facilitate that for me. they stop at 8pm. when will i win

[fingertipsmp3]

Can’t tell if I actually genuinely think this job interview tomorrow is a bad idea, or I’m just trying to convince myself it is because I don’t want to do it

[seiyasabi]

Idolised

(Here’s a Yandere Todo Aoi x Female Reader story :P I wrote up the layout for this a while ago, and I’m currently madly in love w him, so here we are! 

Thank you all so much for your support and being so understanding of my situation. I love you all so much ;)

TW: !noncon/dubcon!, !Has a whole ass shrine dedicated to you, you literally don’t know he exists lmao, !claims he's ur bf to everyone, manipulation!, intimidation!, sort of kidnapping!, !forced cunnilingus!, etc.. 

Please proceed with caution!)

“(Your Name)-Chan, why didn’t you tell us that you have a boyfriend?” You slowly stop chewing, chopsticks going slack in your hand. Eyes darting towards your friend Mika, you raise an unamused eyebrow. 

“What are you talking about, Mika-Chan? I don’t have a boyfriend,” All of your girlfriends look at each other, unbelieving of your claim. All giggle, thinking that you’re just being shy. 

“Ne~ don’t be coy! It’s okay to tell us about your boyfriend! From the pictures I’ve seen, he’s quite handsome, huh?” At this point, you’re completely confused. Are they pranking you? You don’t have a boyfriend! 

“I genuinely have no idea what you’re talking about-“ The seat next to you slides out, and a hulking figure plops itself down on the wooden chair, the wood creaking horrifically underneath their weight. 

Their arm wraps around the back of your own chair, practically engulfing you in the crook of their enormous elbow, “Hey, Pretty Girl. I’m sorry that I’m late, you know how late my classes run sometimes.” 

You’re too scared to even turn towards the large man, choosing instead to look at your friends with a horrified expression. They don’t notice it, too busy ogling at the apparent eye candy next to you, “Uhm, I’m sorry, but who are you? And why do they think that you’re my boyfriend?” An awkward silence immediately follows after, the man’s hand gripping the wood behind you so hard that it creaks. 

He forces a deep laugh, which sounds quite menacing. He moves his hand onto your back, his warm palm felt through your stylish top, “You’re so funny, (Nickname)-Chan! It’s alright, you don’t need to hide me anymore. I messaged your girls last week, they know about us.” 

“Yeah, (First Name)-Chan! It’s okay! We think you’re both so adorable,” They practically fawn over the two of you, trying to push you closer into each other’s arms. The man next to you takes this in stride, practically hauling your chair up next to his. His arm is now fully around you, as you lean in close to your hair and neck. He inhaled deeply, a satisfied grunt rumbling through his chest. 

“Don’t do anything stupid, (Your Name)-Chan. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll follow my every whim,” Tears of fear and anxiety bead your eyes, which your friends take as relief that you’re no longer hiding away from them. 

“Don’t cry, (First Name)-Chan! It’s okay! We all support you wholeheartedly!” 

The rest of the lunch consisted of you being extremely uncomfortable, and your closest friends being none the wiser. Somehow, they don’t notice how you constantly inch away from him, only to be dragged back to his side. Somehow, they don’t know how he’s whispering mild threats into your ear. 

But, through this time, you learned the name of your so-called ‘boyfriend.’ Todo Aoi, the beast currently keeping you glued to your seat in fear. He’s so much bigger than you, so much faster, seemingly so much smarter. 

��Bye, (First Name)-Chan, Bye, Todo-Kun! It was nice to meet you!” Your friends wave the two of you off, one of his large hands securely on the small of your back. His grip is bruising, controlling. Todo practically pushes you towards an unknown destination, your body only able to continue forward, whether you wanted it to or not. 

“I’m proud of you, (First Name)-Chan. I knew my girl was smart, beautiful, and capable. This just proved it to me,” A small whimper escapes your throat, as fresh tears bead your eyes. 

“Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?” A booming laugh is heard, practically shaking the ground below you, causing you to flinch. 

“Why am I doing this? Well, I’m doing this, because I love you. I want us to be together, so we’re going home,” He says this as if it solved all of your problems. 

“But we don’t know each other, why even bother-“ 

“We know each other. I saved your life, remember?” For the first time tonight, you look at him. His distinct scar immediately catches your attention- this man did, in fact, save your life. Two months prior, someone or something shoved you onto some train tracks, right in front of an oncoming train. In a mere moment, the bulky man grabbed you from the tracks, and hopped back up onto the platform, effectively saving your life. 

“I-Bu-But what? We met only once, and-“ He shushes you, forcing you closer to his side, his entire hand practically engulfing your waist. 

“There’s no need to worry. In that Moment, I knew that you were meant to be my beautiful Princess. You need me to care for you, and I’m up for the task.” 

“Princess? Sir, I think you need help! We’ve only talked once, and while I’m grateful for you saving my life, I think this is excessive! Please let me go!” 

He ignores you, sighing dreamily about what the two of you will get up to. Todo couldn’t wait to add more to your shrine at home! He’ll be sure to get as much dirty clothes, used tissues, and everything else he could ever want! 

Forcing you into an upper class loft building, he guides you by the small of your spine into a lift, disregarding the old woman inside. She looks at you as if the both of you are the most adorable couple she’s ever seen, making you shift in discomfort. Todo takes it in stride, practically preening under her gaze, but pretending it has no effect on him. 

He nonchalantly presses his floor’s number, before placing that hand on your hip, and rubbing it in circular motions. You try to move away from him, but his grip is solid. 

Before long, the lift stops on his floor, and he pushes you out. You stumble into the area outside of his front door- his home being the only one on the entire floor. The door itself has a pin pad on its handle, which he quickly typed in, once he’s directly in front of it, leading you to believe that there’s most likely a second pin pad on the other side. 

Once you hear the click of the door being unlocked, Todo moves away from the entryway, and motions you inside, “Go ahead, Princess.” 

In a Moment of defiance, you shake your Head no, “I think this has gone on long enough,” His eyes narrow slightly, yet you continue, practically shaking in your shoes, “I-I don’t want to go inside. Please let me go home.” 

His booming laughter fills the small space, as he shakes his head in disbelief, “You’re adorable, (Nickname)-Chan! Now, go inside before I become angry.” The bite in his final words forces you forward, into his dark flat. 

He flicks on the light switch the moment you step inside, momentarily blinding you. Once you’re able to blink away the dots swimming in your vision, you’re greeted with a fairly normal sight. The living room, kitchen, and dining room are conjoined in an open concept, making the large place seem even larger. Two hallways branch off on either side of the large room, most likely leading to a master, a guest room, bathroom, and an office. 

“What do you think? I read in a magazine that women like clean homes, so I deep clean this flat at least once a week.” 

You aren’t sure what to say, but you nod along anyway, “Yes, it’s very nice.” He beams down at you, cheeks practically stretching to the fullest extent. 

“This shows that I know how to make women happy! I believe that’s a redeeming quality,” You awkwardly give him the side eye, “Oh, don’t look at me like that, silly girl! I have many more redeeming qualities if that one isn’t good enough. Now,” He clasps your shoulder with a large hand, “Why don’t I show you our bedroom?” 

“Our?” Your eyes are practically bugging out of your skull, as he nods gleefully. 

“We’re a couple, aren’t we? And couples share everything with each other.” 

With that, he practically drags you down the left hallway. There’s only one door at the end of the hall, signalling that this is the master bedroom. With one hand, he pushes open the door, before coaxing you inside. His hand that was previously on your shoulder migrates to the bottom of your spine. The room is a mixture of black and your favourite colour, showcasing that this room is the both of yours. 

The bed is quite large, most likely to accommodate your large captor and yourself, “I thought you’d like that your favourite colour is in here.” 

You say nothing, tears beading your eyes. You wring your hands in anxiety, as he leads you to the bed. He sits you down on the edge, before kneeling in front of you. Todo leans forward, resting on your thighs, all whilst still practically towering over you even when sitting. 

“Why’re you crying, Princess? There’s no reason to,” He swipes under your eye the moment the first tear falls. 

“Why am I crying? You must be joking! You-you just kidnapped me!” He shushes you once more, causing a spark of anger to course through you. He hasn’t listened to a single complaint you’ve voiced! “Stop doing that! It’s rude! I’m allowed to be upset-“ 

With two massive hands, he forces your thighs open, “I know your work has you stressed, Pretty Girl- why don’t you let me calm you down?” He pushes his hands up your thighs, your skirt barely covering your pussy,  allowing his thumbs to ghost over your panty clad cunny. 

You try to thrash out of his hold, pushing against his hands, “No! Let go of me!” Your thrashing does nothing, as just the weight of his forearms we’re enough to press your thighs to the bed. His left hand rubs against your clit and hole, trying to make you as wet as possible. You try to push against his forearms, but he presses down harder. 

His thumb rubs fluidly over your clit in an even pressure. Your hips press up, trying to buck him off, but it only causes him to press down harder. In no time, you’re growing wet against his ministrations. You choke back your whines, smacking his arms, before pushing against his head which hovers just above your cunt. 

“Do you feel that, Princess? You’re getting so wet!” He suddenly presses his open mouth against your mound, tongue matching pace with his thumb. A moan escapes your throat before you can stop it, halting the large man in his tracks. You sound so perfect to him! 

In one swift motion, he yanks your panties down your legs, and tosses them onto the mattress beside you. You try to close your legs, but it’s no use. I’m seconds, he has your thighs presses as far open as they can go, and his face is buried in your pretty cunny. His tongue dips into your folds, savouring your taste, before flicking against your clit. 

His tongue rubs against your clit in swift, smooth motions, quickly causing you to grow wetter than before. Your slick drips down your cunny, coating your ass and inner thighs. More moans escape your mouth, as you writhe against him. 

“Sto-Stop! Oh my god-“ He gives a small laugh at your begs, eating you out faster than before. Loud slurps and ‘mms’ are heard throughout the room, as you quickly go over the edge. Your juices squirt out of your cunny, coating his chin and his shoulders in slick. A loud keen is heard throughout the room. 

The mixture of your wonderful cum and loud moans causes the large man to bust a load in his pants. He groans against you, causes your thighs to tremble in overstimulation. Todo removes himself from your pussy (not before licking up as much slick as possible), and smiles up at you. 

“You’re so wonderful, (Nickname)-Chan! I should’ve done this sooner!” 

[flareish]

Anxiety

kuroo x reader

summary: you hide your anxiety from basically everyone including your boyfriend, until he finds out for himself

genre: hurt/comfort

warnings: Emetophobia Warning! description of nausea/vomit, anxiety, bit of angst but ends in fluff

word count: 2.0k

a/n: I tried to make this as close to my anxiety since I hadn’t known anyone with my kind of anxiety(symptom wise) until I was seventeen, which was a good ways into when I realized I had anxiety. So here is some nausea anxiety representation!

masterlist

You tap your fingers in a mindless rhythm. Alternating the fingers and repeating them back and forth, trying to make it a game, a challenge. You did this over and over again to distract yourself from that all too familiar sinking feeling. That feeling like your stomach has managed to twist and knot itself a million times. Each bump of the bus made acid crawl up your throat. You crunched a mint in your mouth hoping the peppermint would soothe some of the nausea. It didn’t, but the thought was there. You just will yourself not to throw up on the bus, anything but that. The thought in itself makes you even more nervous, and in turn even sicker.

You don’t even know why you are anxious. Today is Kuroo’s big game, but it isn’t yours. You’ve been to a hundred of his games before but never before did you feel like this. Normally you get cute little butterflies, not an angry swarm of bees. The worst part is, there is Kuroo sat next to you happy as can be, completely oblivious. He keeps trying to drag you into conversations but you fear if you open your mouth for too long, all that will come up is vomit. So you keep your mouth firmly closed only smiling tightly or shaking your head at his prompts.

It's not exactly his fault though. He doesn’t actually know you have anxiety. It’s not something you really like to talk about. You are all for promoting the acceptance of mental health but you just find every time you tell someone the dynamic changes. Either they flat out don’t believe you since you “don’t seem like the type with anxiety”. Well duh, I don’t have social anxiety, I have situational anxiety. Like here in this situation. That or they suddenly treat me like I am incapable of handling myself. That whenever a slightly stressful event comes up, I am going to melt into a puddle of pure anxiety. Sorry but I’ve made it this far, I may have to throw up a few times on the way but I am still making it. 

So you just haven’t told Kuroo. You're just nervous that it will change the dynamic. You also don’t want to steal his spotlight. Today is supposed to be all about him. It's his big game. To suddenly speak up and tell him that his game is giving you anxiety would be selfish. So like you always have, you put a brave face on and face it head-on.

“Hey, are you okay?” Kuroo asks you, now facing you, “You look a little pale.”

“Hmm?,” You also turn to look at him, “Oh I am just a bit tired that’s all. I will be fine in an hour or so.” You hope at least. He nods relieved it's not something worse. 

You finally pull into the stadium and everyone is pushing their way off the bus. Luckily Kuroo is right by you to make sure you don't get accidentally pushed down the bus stairs and trampled. The team makes it’s to the bulletin board where they are given their matchups. Nekoma is paired with a pretty hard team. Suddenly, out of nowhere, you dry heave. You knew at the point you were going to throw up and within the next few minutes. 

“Hey I think I left something in the bus I’ll be right back.” You say to Kuroo before dashing off. He goes to reply but you are already gone. 

You make it around the back of the building before you throw up. At this point you’re kinda out of it, your mind is occupied on emptying your already empty stomach. Then you feel someone pull your hair back and gently rub your back. You don’t even have to look up to know it’s Kuroo. When you finish he hands you his water bottle.  You waterfall it and rinse your mouth out of that acidic taste. 

“What’s going on are you okay?” Kuroo asks full of concern. You hesitate for a moment, thinking of telling the truth. Then you remember this is supposed to be his day. 

“Sorry I must have caught a stomach bug.” He doesn’t completely buy it so you quickly add to it.

“I didn't feel great on the bus but I just thought it was because I was tired.” You feel bad lying, “I also don’t want to distract you before your game.” At that Kuroo quickly pulls you into a hug, “Your not a distraction, I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Your cheek is pressed against his chest and your hands grip the front of his shirt. 

“We should probably head back.” You mumble.

“Yeah.” He leans down to kiss you but you duck away. He looks incredibly offended and hurt at this.

“Dude I just threw up I don’t know if you want to do that.” 

“…Point.”

The two of you head back inside to the team, you feeling much better after throwing up. Before you know it, the competition has begun and Nekoma has won. You run down and celebrate with the team and it’s a happy day.

On the bus ride home Kuroo has a strange energy about him. Not like he’s mad more just like he’s just realized something. You nudge him and smile hoping to break him out of his little funk. He immediately smiles back and goes back to celebrating with the team. His reaction was almost like putting a mask on. You watch him for a moment before slipping into a conversation of your own.

When you make it back to school you go your separate ways. Him going to shower, and you to get home before it gets too late. A big hug before pushing away. You still refusing to kiss him after throwing up earlier in the day. 

You are laying on your bed, exhausted. Anxiety really takes a toll on your energy. Your thoughts are broken when your phone chimes with a text.  Leaning over to grab your phone off your bedside table you see it is from Kuroo. 

“Can you come over? I want to talk.”

No cute pet names. No slowly easing into it. Actually using proper grammar. Nothing in that message was a good sign. Just “I want to talk” was enough to make the acid begin to crawl again. You knew it had to be about today. Especially after you saw him zoning out on the bus. It had to be your anxiety episode. You knew he wouldn’t be happy you lied but going to this extent. Like he just found out you have anxiety and this is what he hits you with? The world’s most nerve-wracking text message. The only worse place than this would be “we need to talk”. That’s when you have really screwed up. So maybe you’ve only minorly screwed up since he said want not need. Does that mean you have the choice to say no? That was kind of tempting but you knew you would be tossing and turning all night thinking about what might be wrong. 

“Okay.” You reply to the text. Short and sweet. Putting on some shoes and grabbing a hoodie, you quietly slip out of your house. Kuroo’s house wasn’t too far but it was far enough. Enough to continue to stir in your intrusive and unstoppable thoughts. You eventually make it to his house and head in going straight for his room. Before you reach the door you hesitate and gather yourself. Preparing for whatever was about to come. 

When you go in you find Kuroo sat on the floor of his bedroom, back pressed against the bed. He jerkily looks up and you and gives you a tight smile. None of this is giving good signs. Something is very heavy on his mind. You sit down across from him, your back against the wall your feet almost touching. 

“So what was it you wanting to talk about.” You break the silence. He doesn’t respond for a moment. Just as you are about to try again he speaks up.

“Do you still love me?” Your face drops into confusion.

“Why wouldn’t I love you anymore?” You ask, suddenly realizing this wasn’t the conversation you were prepping yourself for. 

“You’ve been distant lately. You don’t tell me things like when you don’t feel good. I thought about it when I got home and I was wondering if you weren’t actually sick but just making the excuse because you got caught.” He’s very serious at the moment and his words hold a cold edge. 

“What do you mean get caught?” You match his tone. You weren’t planning on fighting but something about how he said it just set something off in you.

“You didn’t want to be there. Ever since this morning you were quiet and reserved. Even after the game, you wouldn’t even kiss me-”

“Yeah, cause I threw up! And how could I be faking it when I literally threw up.” You snap.

“You’ve been like this before though! Like last year’s big tournament you would barely talk to me.”

“That’s not true!” Although it kind of was just not the reason he thought.

“Oh yeah? What about at training camp you wouldn’t talk to me then either, you didn’t even eat with us you just sat on your own.” He threw back.

“Yeah, cause I have anxiety!” The words left your mouth before you knew it. Kuroo looked taken back.

“What?” His brow furrows, “Since when?” He’s not sure what to believe. You’re not surprised since you have worked very hard to hide it from everyone, accidentally sabotaging your own relationship without even knowing it. 

“Since forever. I just never told anyone.” You quietly say, ducking your head down.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You didn’t even need to look up to see the hurt on his face, it was apparent in his voice. You start playing with your finger, tapping them in rhythms.

“I wanted to,” You mumble, “But whenever I do stuff changes and I didn’t want anything to change.” He shifts forward and you think he’s going to leave. Instead, he grabs your hands, stopping the pattern you had going. You look up.

“Did you think I would judge you?” He was staring straight into you, willing the truth to come out.

“Whenever I tell people they either don’t believe me and brush it off or treat me like I’m incapable of handling any amount of stress. I’ve never seen anyone react any differently so I was scared you would fall into one of those reactions and I didn’t know how I could handle that. I didn’t want my anxiety to be the thing to tear us apart. But I guess it still was.” By the end of your speech, your gaze has returned back to the floor, unable to hold eye contact for that long with him staring at you so strongly. You hear him sigh then you are pulled forward and into his arms. 

“I want to be your pillar of support. I want to be that third reaction that is one of acceptance, one that doesn’t drive you crazy.” He strokes your hair soothingly, his words making you tear up, “When you are ready I want you to tell me everything. From when you first noticed it, to where it is now, to how you deal with it, everything.” By now you are fully crying, absolutely collapsed into his chest. “I love you so much.” It gets muffled in his shirt but he hears it.

“I know, and I love you.”

It would take some time for Kuroo to get used to this change but slowly but surely he will be different from the rest and he will support you no matter what. Although he also respects your strength and knows you can handle your anxiety on your own, he is always there when you need it. He becomes the third unexpected and unheard-of reaction; acceptance.

[spasmsofthought]

flashes. (dick grayson x reader)

I’m not really well-versed in DC, at all, but I wanted to give this a shot. let me know what you think! It’s a bit of a mess, so please take this with a grain of salt and some grace. sorry if he feels ooc; I tried my best but I am by no means an expert or even an amateur. please be kind. idk if i’ll write anymore for him, but i wanted to try. it might be trash but it’s out there now xo

-- 

It’s not like Gotham is known for being a walk in the park. The city is all alleys in the middle of the night, dark vapors rising from sewers, and secrets in the shadows. At least, in your experience. 

There were no gated communities or fences to keep the darkness out in the apartment complex you lived in with your family. Only survival and common sense keeps you returning to your bed and food on the table.

So, when your younger (genius) brother is offered a scholarship to Gotham Academy on what feels like a whim, the world shifts. 

When your mother still works, though, it means you are the de-facto adult during the day. Your job keeps your busy in the mornings, hers during the afternoon and night. You’re just getting into learning what it’s like to handle a job and bills of your own, even though you’re still living with your family (part of it is to save money, part of it is because you just don’t want to leave). Your family is the only real home you have ever known. Why leave to only find inadequate housing where you have to worry about your safety and theirs separately?

So, like every month, you swap out of your work clothes, put on your newest (at least 2 years old) pair of jeans on, the only blouse you own that hasn’t faded or stretched or shrunk from countless wash cycles, and grab the bag you’ve stored in its own special place in the cabinet by your family’s loud, old, run-down fridge. 

You chance a ride on the bus, hopeful for no public catastrophes today. You listen to your small, but loved, playlist through the one earbud that works during the ride and you almost want to leap with joy when you step back down on concrete like this is what it is like everyday.

The architecture is a thing to behold. There is no wonder why this is acclaimed as the most prestigious private school in Gotham. Light is everywhere, and it’s like the outside world doesn’t exist. Every month you step on this campus it’s like you’ve never seen it before.

The grounds are meticulously groomed, everything in lines and straight edges. Concrete and nineteenth century buildings both cast heavy, sharp shadows in the late afternoon sun. There are some students lingering about, all grouped up and chattering in their similar uniforms. Compared to public art, haphazard graffiti, and buildings of all shapes and sizes, this place feels foreign. Different. It makes you feel strange and unwelcome; like entering a different world altogether. 

When you enter the pristine, elegant office, the entrance door propped open, there’s two figures you immediately spot: the secretary and the man standing in front of her. Your brother is yet to be found. He’s running late again. 

“Hi, hun, take a seat,” Grace’s sweet voice soothes from her position behind the desk. “He should be here any minute.” The man standing in front and a little to the right of her glances behind for second, casually swiping a look at you, before he turns forward again. 

“Thanks, Grace,” You exhale as you sit down. 

The chairs are nice, soft fabric and cushioned, but small. You so desire to bring up a leg to draw close to you, but it’s impossible without making yourself a human pretzel. And you don’t want to dirty it with your less than perfect shoes so, instead, you chose to bring the bag onto your lap and you pick at your cuticles, resisting to bring your nail to your mouth and chew on it anxiously. 

There’s never been anyone else in here when you’ve come before. Grace can make polite chatter, but then she leaves you in relative silence. It makes you feel anonymous. The man uttering sweet words to the secretary and then glancing at you again before sitting down next to you does not. You stop fidgeting with your hands and intertwine them together instead. 

A flash of the ceiling’s fluorescent lighting on glass against your eyes is what you first get a taste of, then all polish and silver, or something like it, cradling a wrist. The watch looks heavy, expensive. It looks like it could buy your family a newer, safer, apartment in a suburbia far away from here. 

“Hey,” Smooth as honey it drips out, and you are drawn to blue eyes and ebony hair. There’s a softness to his face and his eyes are warm. It would only take an hour, you think before you stop the thought from going any further. An hour to do what? You’re not sure, but the list expands the longer you take him in.

The first thing you ever learned on the streets when you walked by yourself to work was how to be aware, vigilant; on guard. Men were unpredictable creatures who were driven by greed or lust or power, and any of the good ones were swooped up and carried away to better things or dead before any second glances could take place. Or carrying on just fine behind their high fences and impenetrable walls. Just because this one introduces himself first does not mean he has proven otherwise. 

“Hi,” is all you can offer, a quirk of lips to his gesture of kindness.

You glance towards to door before your eyes make their way back to him. The gesture doesn’t offend him. There’s a familiarity to his face, but you decide to not spend time right now trying to figure it out. It already only tells you one thing: this guy is way out of your league. 

Grace gets up from her seat, rounds her desk, and makes her way out of the office, leaving you two alone. You watch her the entire time. 

“You waiting for someone?” 

“Yeah,” You nod even as the word comes out, “My brother.” 

He leans back like he’s got all the time in the world, and there’s a perusal that makes you taste butterflies and gulp down caution at the same time. You wonder if he saw the scuff marks and stains on your worn-out sneakers, or if he notices that you still haven’t had the chance to wash your three-day old hair and that’s why it’s up and back, and that your blouse is definitely from the clearance rack at Goodwill.

“Your favorite one?” 

Out of self-preservation, you try to hide the reaction to the humor you feel, “My only one.”

“I think that’s the same thing.” You almost want to roll your eyes. But there’s a genuineness in his conversation, like he means the words he’s saying to you. Like this isn’t a game. 

“Sure,” You shrug, “You’re allowed to be wrong.” 

“My name’s Richard.” It’s old-fashioned. It’s something you don’t really hear rolled off of tongues in your neck of the woods, that’s for sure. A hand comes out and rests halfway between you and him, and it’s one of the most graceful things you’ve ever witnessed in your entire life. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” You smile. Your hands stay clasped in your lap. 

“You gotta earn a handshake from my sister,” A voice pops up from the open door way. You swing your head around and watch for a moment as your brother makes his way towards you.

“Hi, J,” Your stand, open your arms wide, bag moved from your lap into one of your hands. His solid presence allows a brief hug before he steps back again. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude--” 

The man sitting next to you has chosen to rise as well and you’re closer than you thought you would be when you turn back to him. You notice now that your height means your eyes literally meet his lips straight on. There’s a curve of a smirk there for a flash of a second before it straightens back out into the smile you saw at first. The rest of your sentence is forgotten. He takes one, two, three steps back.

“You got them all?” The question saves you. Your brother pulls you back to him as you hand him the brown plastic bag. In it? His favorite snacks from the liquor store on the corner (the nearly sold-out, hard-to-come-by ones). 

“Every last one,” Your hands come to his cheeks, turning his face to each side.

You have to reach up now and it strikes you just how much he’s grown even in the past month. You both spend much of your time on the phone with one another. These monthly meetings set-up frequently enough for deliveries and some quick face-to-face time and seldom enough to avoid embarrassment (that’s what he says anyway). 

He brings the chip bag out and holds it up, “You even got these.” 

“Geraldo got them special order just for you.” 

“Tell the old man I said thanks,” He smiles like he’s seven again, spoiled and self-indulgent. “Richard” is still standing behind you and to the side, silent. You can feel his eyes flipping back and forth between the two of you. 

“Of course,” Your hands smooth over his shoulders and brush away imaginary dust. “Mom sends her love and says she’ll try and call you on her lunch in a few hours.” 

“Yeah, I know. I’ll make sure I answer.” 

“Thank you.” You exhale an affectionate sigh. 

Avoidant loner that your brother can be, there’s a reason you both want him here. He’ll be able to do the things you only dreamed of when you were his age. And one day, hopefully, you’ll all be out of this hellhole, onto better things. 

“I gotta go, but thanks for these. Even though you should be saving every penny,” He chides, holding up a finger like his words are somehow a threat. 

“Okay,” You chortle like you wouldn’t give everything up for your brother in a heartbeat. There’s another quick hug before he’s looking back at the man behind you, who is still standing there like some sort of stealth ninja. 

“Like I said man,” He nods and there’s something in his face that changes as he looks at “Richard”, “You gotta earn it.” 

It’s with those parting words that he begins to walk out. You stay stock still for a second before you leap after him, “I wanna hear all about what happened last week with Cara tomorrow on the phone!” 

Your brother, a mile away already on longs legs, shouts something indistinguishable back at you from down the hallway, his figure turning a corner.  

“Who’s Cara?” The voice brings your back to reality. 

You sweep your palms against your jeans and turn back to face the man with a three-piece suit and a watch that probably costs more than 20 years of your salary. Oh God. 

“This girl my brother asked out the other week. I bribed him with some of his favorites so he would tell me what went down.” You shrug your shoulders, not worried about spilling the tea about your brother’s romantic life. 

“Does he know that?” His arms seem to relax a little more and you think you could stare at him all day. 

“Eh,” You say, creeping back towards the open door. Your small crossbody bag is already on you and there’s no reason to sit back down. Richard follows you as you, apparently, both start to make your exit from the office. Nothing about it feels unnatural. “Sometimes you got to persuade instead of demand.” 

“Ha,” There seems to be something you are missing based on the way his mouth curves and his eyes spark, “That’s the truest thing I’ve heard in a long time.” 

“You’re welcome. That’s the only one that comes for free!” Your arms swing back and forth. “Anything else is gonna cost you.” 

The hallways usually feel like a labyrinth here, but you don’t feel lost this time. 

“What forms of payment do you accept?” You pretend to be thinking, but really you’re just glancing between the different features of his face. You’re not sure you’ve ever met someone like him. You’re not sure you ever will again.  

“The bank’s closed right now, actually,” The wariness is back. This guy walks like he’s used to treading on perfectly paved gold streets in his shoes. All you’ve ever known is cracked cement and rusted pipes that burst underground. “But I think it’ll be back up and running soon.” 

He doesn’t falter and there’s no anger or hurt in his expression at the metaphorical rejection. Instead, it looks something like silent patience. Maybe even acceptance. This guy could totally not be interested and you could just be being (too) ambitious. The door to the open courtyard, and your way home, is already before you both. 

“It was nice meeting you Richard,” You say as you begin to take steps forward. Your hands nervously hold the strap across your torso. You take a few more steps before his words turn your head back to him. 

“You can call me Dick,” He says with ease. The tone makes you feel like he’s speaking a language you don’t really understand. His blue eyes seem like they’re on fire; a contradiction, you know. There’s something about him that almost makes you catch your breath. You’ve never been been winded by just looking before. 

“Maybe I’ll see you around.” You offer, hands squeezing your bag strap. 

“I look forward to earning that handshake next time!” He calls out when you’re several feet away. 

I think you’ll earn a lot more than that, you almost say, but refrain. 

Instead, you wave back to him once before making your way out of the courtyard, caught between staring at your shoes and looking ahead to make sure you’re going to right way. You smile and daydream the entire bus ride home. Blue becomes your favorite color. 

[jackrrabbit]

it will come back [pt. 1] /// Yandere Shigaraki x f!Reader

Summary: You have a bad habit of picking up strays, and the half-dead villain you find bleeding out in a dumpster is no exception. [Part 2] [Part 3]

A/N: Low budget yandere for my greasy king. This concept has definitely been done before, but I couldn’t resist. This is my first non-smut on this acct and I’ll be so sad if it bombs ���

Title from the Hozier song: “don’t let it in with no intention to keep it / jesus christ, don’t be kind to it / oh honey don’t feed it / it will come back.”

Tags/warnings: light yandere, minor injury, angst, Shiggy likes you, reader needs a friend and a good night’s sleep. [In later parts but not in this one: violence, sex, more yandere, 18+]

You’ve always had a soft spot for strays. Maybe that’s why you became an ER nurse—from the first abandoned puppy you brought home as a kid to the patients you refuse to give up on even when it looks hopeless, you’ve never been able to turn a blind eye when something needs your help. Sometimes (times like this) you wish you knew better. It’s hard enough to take care of yourself these days.

Today’s shift was…what, 16 hours? 17? The 20-minute walk from the bus stop to your apartment building feels like it takes twice that long in the rain. God, you need a shower. And a decent night’s sleep, preferably for at least 12 hours. Tomorrow’s your day off, and you’re ready to take advantage of it the best way you know how: Netflix, soju, and your favorite vibrator. But tonight? As soon as you’re clean, you’re going to pig out on leftovers and collapse into the bed that’s the only halfway nice piece of furniture in your shithole apartment. You really do deserve a break; you’ve earned it.

Unfortunately, as usual, the universe has other plans.

You hear him before you see him: wheezing, choked breaths, like someone’s trying to breathe with an anvil on their chest. You’re not quite out of nurse mode so your mind starts trying to diagnose the issue before you even register what you’re hearing. Fluid in the lungs, possibly blood. That hacking isn’t good. Broken ribs? Definitely bruised. But probably not a puncture…

The breathing is coming from down an alley next to your building. It’s dark enough that you can’t see from the street what’s making the noise. And you’re not a fool, you know it’s a bad idea to walk down pitch-black alleys late at night, especially in this area—a neighborhood you’re living in by necessity, because it’s the only place cheap enough for you to get by. But the coughing…it just sounds so awful. It sounds like it hurts.

Your phone’s already in your hand with 119 dialed and ready to call (standard practice when you’re walking home by yourself), but you turn the flashlight on and shine it down the alleyway. “Hello? Anyone there?”

Nothing responds, but you can still hear the breathing. You step in a little deeper, swinging your light from side to side and looking over the heaps of trash bags overflowing from the dumpster. The raindrops make clicking sounds as they hit the plastic, and you can hear gurgling from a rain spout down the side of the building, but the wheezing doesn’t stop.

One more step. And then one more. You wish there was something you could do to make the splash of your rain boots in the puddles a little less loud. Something about this situation—the rain, the dark, the flat grey light from your cellphone, and that horrible hacking breath—it makes you feel like you’re walking into a horror movie. But you don’t stop walking.

The hacking is coming from a man propped up on the wall between a few XL bags of trash. The black outfit he’s wearing almost blends into the bags, but a mop of grey-blue hair gives him away. His head is slumped onto his chest, and if he’s conscious he doesn’t show it. “Hello?” you ask again, even less confident that you’re going to get a response.

No answer.

The smell of garbage is…ugh…hard to ignore, but on top of it is an oppressive stench of copper coming from the man passed out in the trash. You kneel down to get a better look and yep, he’s covered in blood. It’s hard to make out in the low light, but there’s a trio of long gashes in the man’s abdomen, cutting apart the skin and flesh so deep you can see traces of a slim layer of yellow fat between all the inky clotted blood. It looks like he was attacked by an animal. Or someone with an animal quirk. There are a lot of villains in this neighborhood.

And the coughing...definitely internal injuries. Whoever this guy is, he needs treatment. You hold up your phone to hit the call button on your pre-dialed 119—

“Don’t.” The voice is a growl, low and surprisingly firm despite the scratchiness. You jerk back and clutch your phone to your chest, caught off guard not just by the interruption but by the intensity of the face glaring up at yours.

His eyes are red. “You need an ambulance,” you tell him in your calmest nurse voice.

“If you try to call the police, I’ll—kill you,” the man says, but the threat is a little less threatening when he has to stop in the middle to retch blood onto his own chin.

You glare back at him but don’t call the emergency number. There are a lot of of reasons why he wouldn’t want to go to the hospital, but the most obvious one is probably true. “You’re a criminal. A villain?”

He doesn’t respond, choosing instead to keep glaring at you like you’ve committed some mortal sin against his ancestors by having the nerve to check on him and try to help him. Somehow it pisses you off. When you were getting your ADN, you once took a temp job doing health screenings at a local middle school and you would always get so annoyed at the kids. Didn’t they see you were just doing your job? Why is it so hard to understand that what you’re doing is for their own good?

Stupid kids. Stupid villain. “You’d rather bleed out and die?”

The man bares his teeth at you, and it’s a pretty disturbing scene considering how they’re covered in scarlet. “You think they’re going to save me? Think I’ll go to the hospital and get all my HP restored?”

He’s mocking you now. You only have a second to move out of the way before he spits off to the side. “I mean…that’s how a hospital works.”

“If you think I would—make it out of that ambulance alive, you’re—dumber than you look.” His voice is interspersed with coughs.

“Well, you’re not going to live if I leave you here.” You hold up your phone, ready to call the ambulance, but in a shocking display of agility the man lunges forward and grabs it out of your hand. “Hey, wait! Give that…back…”

Your voice trails off as your phone crumbles—literally crumbles to dust in the man’s fingers. Once he’s satisfied that there’s no way for you to call the cops, he slumps back onto the trash bags and closes his eyes, apparently exhausted from the effort.

Goddamnit…! For a second, you can only stare blankly at the pile of dust that used to be your $300 smartphone. And then you’re seized by something, maybe not hatred but an annoyance so strong you can feel it in your throat, and you decide right then and there that this villain is not going to die. You’re going to save him. Out of spite.

You’re not sure how you manage to half-carry him from the alley to your apartment, but you do. You’re lucky it’s ass-o-clock at night and no one’s in the lobby or the elevator, or you’d definitely be getting some looks trying to lug a maimed body around. What would you say if someone did call the cops? Don’t worry, don’t worry about it officer, it’s just my friend drank a little too much, oh those wounds? We were at a costume party, haha…

But no one sees you, and no one calls the cops. The man is unconscious the whole time you’re carrying him, and by the time you have him laid out on a shower curtain on your living room floor his breathing is a little bit shallower than it was before. You’ve got your tools—nothing fancy, just some gauze and closures and antiseptic from your personal first aid kit. It’s not much, but it’ll have to be enough.

“Let’s get to work, asshole,” you tell the unconscious body in front of you, and you crack your knuckles.

///

The day after you pick the villain out of the garbage, your body decides that it’s not going to let you sleep in no matter how much you need it. You can tell because the huge windows in your bedroom—the only saving grace of this apartment, honestly—are depositing golden-pink sunrise light over everything you see when you open your eyes, including the villain’s face. Which is about six inches away from yours.

“You smell like death,” you tell him sleepily. He doesn’t move.

He’s…probably in his early twenties, you think, but it’s hard to tell because of all the wrinkles. His hair is on the longer side, and it’s striped with rusty brown smears from his blood. Again, you notice how red his irises are. Have you ever seen someone with eyes that color before? You’re pretty sure you haven’t.

“You slept for a long time,” the villain says, finally moving back so he’s not breathing into your mouth.

“Yeah, I was tired. From saving your life.” You sit up and rub your temples. “I’m thirsty…”

Before you can finish your complaint, the villain is holding a glass of water out to you in an awkward 4-fingered grip.

“Um, thanks, I guess.” You suck down the water and immediately feel better, enough that you realize how wrong it is that he’s up and moving around and probably undoing all your hard work. “You should be lying down.”

“The floor hurt, and I was bored.”

“Lie on the couch then. You can watch TV. But first—“ He’s sitting on the edge of your bed next to you, and you make him lie down flat so you can look at the injuries. They’re not nearly as bad as they looked last night—no walk in the park, but at least you won’t have a corpse in your apartment in a few hours.

When you’re done inspecting him, he sits up and asks you for a shirt. You had to cut his off, not that it was any great loss. The thing was shredded. Him pointing it out is the only thing that makes you really realize he’s shirtless, so you give him an oversized pajama shirt of yours. It has the name and motto of your old high school on it, and the villain reads it out in a half-mocking tone when you hand it to him.

“Beggars shouldn’t be choosers,” you snap. “You should be grateful.”

“I am grateful,” he says, putting the shirt on. “But I don’t understand.”

“I mean, you need a shirt, right? It’s cold—“

“No. Not that.” He’s staring at you again, and you find it difficult to maintain eye contact. “Why you didn’t leave me where you found me last night.”

There’s a lot you could tell him, all of it a little bit true. You were curious. You believed him when he said he wouldn’t make it out of the hospital alive. You couldn’t leave him alone the same way you can’t leave abandoned puppies alone. You wanted to prove to him that you were right, and that being stubborn wouldn’t get him what he wanted. But you don’t say that. “You killed my phone, so you owe me a new one. And I can’t get that back if you bleed out.”

He’s looking at you like he doesn’t believe you, and you fidget under his gaze until he sighs and says, “Whatever.”

You have to let him lean on your shoulder when he walks back to the living room to lie down on your couch. How the hell did he even get to your bedroom by himself? You really didn’t think this through—what are you supposed to do with an infirm possible villain who can barely walk unsupported without opening his injuries back up?

But that’s a problem for tomorrow you to deal with. Today, you’re content to set your laptop up on the coffee table so the two of you can watch TV in…oddly companionable (if you’re not imagining it) silence. It’s almost the lazy day off you were daydreaming about before you got yourself into this mess, and the atmosphere is so relaxed that before you can really decide whether to force the man to go to the hospital or turn him out on the street (or…?) you’re dozing off on your couch like there isn’t a potentially dangerous stranger lying beside you with his head just a few inches from your lap.

When you wake up, your problem is solved for you. He’s gone, and it’s like he was never there—except you’re down a cellphone and a pajama shirt, and your shower curtain is drenched with blood. You wrap it up with the rest of the soiled medical supplies and toss all of it in a dumpster a mile away from your building without knowing exactly why.

///

It’s not the last you see of him, but somehow you had a feeling that was going to be the case.

He scares the shit out of you the first time he visits (over time, that’s how you’ll start to think of his little unannounced drop-ins: visits. Like you’re being visited by a ghost or something). You’re coming back from another grueling shift in the ER, so tired you think you might be sleepwalking, and what do you find when you come in your apartment but a strange white-haired man sitting on your couch eating dry cereal out of the box and flipping through one of your books?

You nearly piss yourself.

He doesn’t seem surprised, which makes sense, considering he’s a villain and he’s probably used to pulling this dramatic entrance thing on people. He certainly doesn’t seem the least bit threatened when you brandish the mini canister of pepper spray on your keychain and demand that he tell you how he got in if he wants to retain the power of eyesight.

“It was unlocked,” he says.

“It was not unlocked,” you reply, rolling your eyes. You may be sleep deprived, but you’re not careless. Never careless.

“Whatever. Calm down. You’re not going to use that on me.”

He’s right, but you don’t want to admit it. If he wanted to do something to hurt you, he could’ve done it that first night. And you’re too tired to really put up a fight, so you just put the cap back on the pepper spray and flop down next to him on the couch. “What the hell are you doing here?”

He looks at you curiously from between his shaggy bangs, like you’re the one intruding in his home and not the other way around, then reaches out to hand something to you. “Here, payback.”

It’s a cell phone—not a smartphone like the one he destroyed, but a flip phone circa the 2000s, the kind that forces you to press “9” four times to get the letter “F”. You stare at it for a second, then look back at the villain. “Are you kidding? Did you get this from a museum?”

“Take it or leave it.” His feet are propped up on your coffee table, but you can’t make yourself care. Actually, it looks nice…him stretched out with an odd look of comfort on his lanky form.

You lean back on the couch and kick up your feet next to his. “Fine. Thanks, I guess.”

He shrugs.

“How are your wounds healing?” Why are you trying to make conversation with this guy? He’s…a villain, right? Not that you’ve ever received affirmative confirmation of that fact, but the hesitance to call the police and the breaking and entering are pretty good tells. But…it might be weird, but since you picked him up that day, you’ve felt a kind of kinship with him.

Alone. Abandoned. No place to go. No one to save him. It’s not a pretty comparison, but you can’t deny it rings true.

Maybe that’s why you pick up strays.

“They’re fine,” he tells you after so long a pause that you’ve almost forgotten your question. “Doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

You take a long look at him, at his posture—he’s relaxed, but his abdomen is crunched a little bit, curled in on himself so subtly that even you wouldn’t have noticed it if you weren’t looking. It’s not your problem. He’s an adult, and you’re sure he could be seeking real medical attention if he really needed it. You’re in no way obligated to perform some kind of checkup on this arrogant dick who literally broke into your apartment to give you a shitty phone and eat your cereal. The sensible thing to do is to tell him to forget that you live here and hopefully never see him again.

His head tips back to rest on the top of the couch, and he holds your book up to read. At this angle his long hair is out of the way of his face, and you notice among the deep-set creases in his skin a pair of wide scars across his right eye and on the corner of his lips. They’re pale and faded—old, then—but they look off to you, and after a while of snatching glances at his face you realize it’s because they’re healed badly, extraordinarily badly, the kind of healing that you don’t see very often because it only occurs when a stubborn patient tries to let a particularly nasty injury heal on its own. The part of you that isn’t sensible wonders how old he was when he got those scars.

Has he learned his lesson?

You doubt it.

“Lie down,” you sigh. “Let me see the cuts.”

Which is how you find yourself examining this annoying villain again, checking on his injuries and giving him recommendations for care like you’re his personal nurse or something. It’s not a role you enjoy playing, but at least he takes it without complaint, and you start to wonder if maybe this is why he broke into your apartment in the first place. If anything, he looks calmer when you’ve flipped up his shirt and prodded at his wounds, his eyes closing slowly and freeing you of that scarlet-red gaze.

He’s like a cat, you think, and then you shake your head and remind yourself that it’s a terrible idea to think of this man—this grown man who is probably a great danger to you and others—as a wild animal you’re trying to domesticate.

When he finally leaves (only after you drop a couple dozen unsubtle hints about how long you’ve been at work and how exhausted you are), you take a moment before you sink into bed to look at the flip phone. It’s no nicer than your original impression, but as you scroll through the screens you notice that it’s factory-new, except for one thing: there’s a contact programmed in, a phone number with an area code you don’t recognize listed under “T”. And you don’t want to be curious…

…but you are. Shocking.

Down the rabbit hole it is, you decide. So you text him.

///

[You: 12:03 AM] > Hey it’s (Y/N) > (the girl whose apartment you broke into) > What does T stand for? [T: 12:07 AM] > What do u think [You: 12:09 AM] > ?? [T: 12:09 AM] > My name > Dont you know who i am [You: 12:10 AM] > Are you famous? [T: 12:10 AM] > You dont watch the news do u [You: 12:11 AM] > Not really > What’s your name then [T: 12:12 AM] > … > Didnt u say u had to sleep [You: 12:15 AM] > Oh yeah > Whatever I guess > Good night

[T: 2:34 AM] > Its Tomura > Dont look it up

[You: 8:02 AM] > Ok > I won’t > Tomura

➠ [Part 2]

[kashimos-hajime]

if the world was ending | b.b.

summary: bucky knows he’s still in love with you a year after the two of you mutually agreed to break up. when one phone call spirals into one plan being made and then another, and then suddenly he’s staying at your place, he wonders if there may be a chance to try again.

WARNINGS: small angst, a whole lotta fluff, literally fluff, swearing, mentions of s e x but they don’t do the do pairing: modern!bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 6.7k

a/n: inspired by if the world was ending by jp saxe (ft. julia michaels). a kinda real take on how sometimes the timing just isn’t right for a relationship and how sometimes it is.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

Your voice echoes in his car and he nearly shivers at how gentle, sleepy, you sound. He wondered where you’d be: at a bar or at home, working overtime or eating out after a long night, on a date. The thought had made him tired, sad, but it didn’t tear a hole through him as it once would.

“Was there something you needed? Are you okay?” you ask, something shifting on your end and he stops at a red light, turning on his left turn light. He doesn’t know where he’s driving to or how long he’s going to just press on until he goes home. The clicking of the light fills his head. “I know the earthquake was a bit weird.”

“Earthquake?” He remembers it at the mere word. Him not even feeling it, not even realizing he was driving through one until Sam had called him from the office asking if he was okay. “There was an earthquake, yeah. I’m fine. Didn’t even know it happened until after it happened.”

“Yeah. Stuck in traffic?”

He laughs, softly, because you still know him so well. “Yeah. Got trapped in the office.”

“Yeah, I thought so.”

You’re never fucking here! It’s like I’m dating a ghost and I don’t know if it’s because I’m boring you or if you just don’t love me anymore. Your voice, angry, twisted with grief and frustration, rattles in his skull as he clears his throat. The light switches green and he turns, driving until he spots an off ramp he knows leads to the highway

“Yeah.” It comes out tight and choked.

Of course I do. I love you, I just—

Just what?

“Yeah,” you say for lack of anything else. There is nothing but silence, but the sound of your gentle breathing and the sound of commercials running. 

“Did you fall asleep watching TV again?” he teases, his throat easing up a bit as you chuckle with a slight sigh.

“Yeah.” You sound like you’re smiling. Bucky hopes you are. “Just staying up late.” Because I’m still used to waiting up for you, the hopeful voice in his head adds quietly. “What’s up? We haven’t talked in a few months.”

Because I just figured out how not to text you when every little thing happens.

“I just thought of you,” he says, “after the earthquake happened. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Your end of the line falls silent and he hides his sigh. He knew it was a mistake. “I thought of you, too.” Your voice is hushed, tender, still full of a love both of you agreed wasn’t meant to be. The thought has always made Bucky torn with sorrow, shackled with guilt and regret. He doesn’t know if they are simply not strong enough to fight for their love or if their love just wasn’t meant to be so strong.

He doesn’t know. What he does know is that he is still in love with you—he always will be. 

“Well, I’m glad you’re safe,” he says. “I still care about you a lot.”

“Yeah, I know.” You reply so instantaneously that he is convinced and he finds himself driving down familiar roads. His feet ache and he’s exhausted, but he keeps going. He doesn’t want to go home. “I care about you, too.”

You were my best friend.

“How’ve you been?” he asks.

“I’m okay. Single, if that’s what you really want to know,” you confess openly and his eyebrows rise. You don’t sound disappointed or angry about it, but he wonders if you still love him like he adores you. “But, yeah. Work is okay.”

“That’s good.”

“How’s Alpine?” 

Bucky chuckles at the thought of the white cat back home. He’d been the one thing they truly fought over when they broke up, and he knows his cat misses you more than he does sometimes, if the persistent clawing in the middle of the night is anything to go by. He’s taken to shutting the windows to prevent his stupid cat from trying to make his way back to you, for his own sanity and Alpine’s safety.

“He misses you.”

“Well, you know he’s welcome to visit any time,” you point out. You let out a heavy breath and Bucky thinks maybe you’ve laid down or sat up, but he wonders what the apartment they used to share together looks like now. You always rearrange it however you see fit. It’s one of the most frustrating things about you but Bucky could never bare to tell you to stop. 

It kept their life together ever flowing, different despite living in the same place. 

He pulls over at a gas station when he notices the light flicker on.

“You know if the world was actually ending, I’d drop everything for you,” he says to ease the silence but it doesn’t. Instead, it only prolongs it and he sighs, eyes closing. “I don’t say it to confuse you or cause you pain. I just… wanted you to know. I—”

“I love you, too,” you murmur, voice dulcet and soft as feathers he can imagine you kissing the words into his skin. He tilts his head back until it rests against the headrest and he swallows. He doesn’t expect it to hurt but it does. Like a dull knife jabbing into his side. Not quite enough to bleed but enough to bruise. “I do. I don’t think I’ll ever not love you.”

“Yeah.”

“I just wished it’d work out.”

“Me too.”

Knock. Knock. Bucky opens his eyes to see a station attendant mouth ‘gas’ and he nods, rolling down the window. 

“Fill up, thanks,” Bucky says, and the guy nods. He unhooks his phone from the bluetooth and shoves it between his ear and shoulder, fiddling with his wallet. “Do you want anything from the gas station? Did you eat?” He doesn’t mean to sound boyfriendly but it’s natural and he can count all the late nights he’d walk in with no question to buy you candy or chips. He hands his card to the attendant, taking hold of his phone again and switching off the engine.

“I didn’t. I fell asleep before I could,” you confess and he shakes his head to himself, looking out the window. It’s not too busy. The only other person is a dad filling up his gas while his kids are knocked out asleep in the back. “I don’t wanna bother you. I’m gonna go to McDonald’s anyway.”

“I could meet you there?” He winces at how much he immediately regrets his words and you let out a soft breath of surprise. “If you’re comfortable, I mean. It’s the one by the apartment, right?”

“Yeah.” You pause for a moment as if thinking it over. “Yeah, that would be nice.” He knows if you didn’t want to, you’d say so and he wonders how he lucked out. “Give me fifteen minutes?”

“No need to dress up,” he assures but you scoff as it sounds like you get up.

“I’m going to look like utter garbage next to you in your suit. The pillow is permanently marked into my face.”

“It’s casual and it’s McDonald’s, although that’s not really healthy.”

“Fine, you health nut. Always trying to make me make better food choices.” You sound only vaguely annoyed and he knows you’re just joking. Your voice echoes in a way that tells him you’re in the bathroom. God, the fact that he still remembers the sound of your voice in different rooms over the phone is a red flag for his heart. “Do you have any suggestions?”

“There’s a new place on the corner of your block.” He knows that because he drove past your apartment building too many times to count, trying to work up the nerve to confess he regrets everything: not spending enough time with you, being a shitty boyfriend, changing from the man you love. Not to get you to take him back, just to apologize.

You deserve better than his preoccupied, stubborn, uncaring, can’t-delegate-his-time-to-spend-time-with-the-love-of-his-life ass.

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to try that place,” you comment, your voice distant. “It’s on the way to the bus stop and since my car broke down—”

“What? Your car broke down?” 

“What?” Your voice picks up again as the guy hands back Bucky’s card and receipt. Bucky connects his phone to the bluetooth audio as the engine ignites once again. “Oh, yeah. A few days ago, it wouldn’t start. I’m lucky I wasn’t in the middle of the road.”

“I could take a look at it, doll,” he offers, pulling out of the gas station. He doesn’t even realize what he’s called you until the silence hits and he clears his throat. “You know, still know a few things about cars from back in the day.”

“Yeah. Bet that hot ass mechanic is still in there somewhere,” you reply. “I don’t want to trouble you. It’s late as it is.”

“It’s fine. Promise.” He wonders if it hurts as much for you to hear it as it is for him to even say the word. He can only repress the guilt poking at his sides. “We can eat and then I can take a look.”

Your sigh is heavy, tired, but he thinks there is just the slightest smile in your lips as you agree, “Okay. But you’re not paying for my food.”

“Old habits die hard, doll. I can’t say I can do that.”

“James—” A warning is edging into your tone and he laughs. As if he could ever be afraid of you, just seeing and imagining the adorable pout he always wanted to kiss off your face. This is a bad idea.

“Oh, no,” he mocks, “she called me James.”

“It’s your name, doofus.” Maybe you’re wrinkling your nose in annoyance, maybe your eyes are narrowed in an effort to hide the mirth seeping into your gaze. He doesn’t know, but a prickling sensation pokes into his limbs as he just imagines seeing you again. “I’ll see you in a bit? Drive safe.”

“I will. See you in ten, doll.”

He hangs up before you can comment on the pet name.

.

Walking into the bistro, he scans the place to find you sitting in the corner. The place is all wood and warm off-white paint and light bulbs hanging from the ceiling. Plants are everywhere, and he quirks an eyebrow at the tiny succulent sitting on the hostess stand. The lighting is mostly dimmed down to provide a more intimate setting, and a few other people are sitting and chatting as he approaches you. There’s a candle in the middle of the table, painting you in orange-gold.

You perk up when you spot him, and he notices with a half-smile you sit on your hands like you do when you’re nervous, your knees bouncing as you release a hand to wave. He sets down his coat over the back of his chair, sitting down and he soaks in the sight of you. Although he said you didn’t need to dress up, you’ve put on a nice light-blue off-shoulder top and a pair of dark-washed jeans, swiped on a shiny layer of pink lipgloss he knows tastes like strawberries, and winged your eyes black with eyeliner.

In short, you’ve managed to go from beautiful to exquisite, and he doesn’t need the comparison. He’s been wowed before.

“Hi, Bucky,” you say lowly, the menu open before you. A waitress comes to offer him another and he looks up with a small thank you before his eyes fall to the words he can’t quite focus on. “You look nice, as usual.” A small grin catches his eye and he sucks in a breath when he’s met with your face again.

Every goddamn time, you take his breath away.

“And you’re…. you’re the loveliest thing I’ve ever seen. As usual.”

He doesn’t miss the way you lower your eyes to the menu, picking it up and tilting it so you can hide your face. He smiles to himself and looks at the salads.

.

Bucky can’t quite remember when the last time he laughed like this, full of life and light and easy. “Stop laughing!”

“Was that even English?”

“Bucky—”

“It was honestly like you had a stroke.”

“I honestly did.” “Do I need to call 911?”

“I hate you. I am trying to live my life here, Barnes.” You snort into your iced tea at the memory replaying in your head, covering your nose and lips with the side of your hand as you bite into the straw. You’ve been recounting the tale of how you nearly ripped Natasha’s hair out with your bare fists on pure accident when you both completely lost the ability to speak English and choked on air, causing Bucky to just lose it. “It wasn’t even that funny.”

“You should’ve seen your face.”

“I can’t. I have this face,” you retort sourly and he takes a deep breath in an attempt to stop the ache in his gut as the waitress places the small apple pie between them as well as two dessert forks. A scoop of ice cream is slowly melting on the flakey crust and he picks up a fork just as you do. “This was really nice, Buck. Hanging out with you again.”

“Yeah. We should do it more often,” he says, twirling the fork in his grasp and allowing you the first bite. You manage to catch ice cream and steaming apple pie on your fork and blow on it carefully before placing it in your mouth. You nearly sigh, your eyes closing and he digs in too. Warm syrup seeps into his blood first when he chews down on the apple filling before a sense of longing for home fills his soul. His stomach heats up from the inside and he sinks into his bones with relief. This is exactly what he needed. “We can be friends, y’know.”

“Yeah, well, I guess.” You smile for a moment before focusing on the pie again. “You know, maybe the distance was good. We got time to stand on our own two feet again.”

“Yeah.” He grins softly, almost sad but not quite. You look so blissful in the warm light of the restaurant, gentle music filling the air. The restaurant has gotten fuller since they’ve entered and sometimes Bucky wishes it was just them in this little slice of healthy heaven, but you’ve gotten remarkably brighter the more people have entered. “It took some guts to end this, I guess.”

“Five years,” you agree. “Think it might’ve been a waste of time when we knew we wanted different things?”

“Well, it wasn’t so bad all the time. Maybe thirty percent of the time.”

“Ten.”

“Fifteen.”

“Five. Five percent was terrible and it was all near the end,” you state and Bucky swallows, the sugar of the pie turning sickly sweet in his mouth. “You can’t sell yourself short, Buck. I know that you regret a lot of things, but we both weren’t perfect in this relationship.” You stab the crust half-heartedly. “And maybe we could’ve found common ground. I mean, we both wanted Alpine, didn’t we?”

“And two or three kids,” he intones dully. He remembers the nights they’d lay awake researching names for their hypothetical baby, staying up to god knows when to read all about colic and teething and how to even survive the trimesters without tearing off your hair. “Yeah, maybe.”

“I never could imagine a family with anyone before you,” you confess, bringing another bite of apple pie to your mouth. The ice cream melts between the prongs of the fork and he grimaces when it lands way too close to your sleeve. You wipe it away with your used napkin. “I never told you that before but I really could see us being happy, Buck.”

“So could I.” The corner of his mouth twitches up, prompting your lips to begin to pull into a small smile. Something sad lingers in your eyes, though, and he leans onto his fist, elbow digging into the table as he tries to think of a way of getting that smile back on your face. “We would’ve made cute babies.” You raise your eyebrows, a doubtful smile digging into your cheeks.

“That’s what I said to Nat after we broke up. She said she always prayed your genes were stronger than Steve’s.”

“They have blonde children.”

“They climb walls and pretend they’re masterclass spies.”

“Okay, fair enough. How is Nat?”

“How’s Steve?” you shoot back playfully. “She’s okay. Tired, but with the new baby and all, it’s a given.”

“I have no idea how Steve convinced her to give him another kid.”

“That’s what I said!” you exclaim, setting down your fork and holding your fingers to your temples. “Okay, so, Nat loves kids but she agreed to two for Steve when they got married and now they’re having number three and it’s like wow.” Bucky laughs at the wondrous light in your eyes. “Maybe the sex is that good.”

Bucky chuckles, his eyes squinting as you pick up your fork again. “They probably talked about it a lot, debated, made slideshows. Knowing Steve, he wouldn’t do a thing out of Nat’s comfort zone even though he wants enough kids to build a Rogers basketball team.”

”Honestly, that would be so cool, but we both know who wears the pants in the relationship.”

“Steve is very happy wearing the skirt.”

“Yeah.” It falls to silence. They finish up their apple pie and you appear to be deep in thought so Bucky doesn’t say anything. Suddenly, you shake your head, chewing on the straw of your iced tea. “Was the sex good?”

Bucky’s eyes widen but you only stare him with honest eyes. You want to know like he didn’t turn into a mess when you kissed the spot underneath his jaw, like the simplest swipe of your fingers up his leg, the tiniest trail on his inner thigh, didn’t make him nothing more than melted putty in your hands.

“Fuck yes.” He sighs. He hasn’t had sex in a year. “Especially the last time after Wanda and Vis got married?”

“We didn’t make it past the kitchen. That was good.”

“Yeah.”

You hum as you think and Bucky pokes at the soggy flakes on the plate. You look at him and he looks at the plate and there’s a strange silence that comes over the table that has been wild with laughter for nearly an hour, maybe more. He leans back into his chair, his prong nudging an uneaten nibble of apple.

“Always thought we should’ve ended in bed,” he finally says half-heartedly. “That mattress took a hell of a beating whenever we argued.”

“Or, whenever you came home after a business trip. I’d miss you so much.” You grin and there’s something mentally exhausted in it. “I miss you so much but I think it figured out how to think about you without it hurting, too.”

“I’m glad.” He lets go of his fork and offers his hand, palm up. You reach forward and grab it, the heat of you sinking into his muscles. His fingers fold over your hand and squeeze. His thumb runs over your knuckles. “I miss you, too.”

“Will we want one check or two?” the waitress asks suddenly and their hands spring apart. Bucky fishes out his wallet, looking up at her.

“Two.”

“One.”

The two look at each other. You narrow your eyes, eyebrows furrowing together. “We agreed that we would split.”

“No, you said it and I disagreed and then you got distracted.” He grins triumphantly as your hands still in your bag and he pulls out his debit card. 

“One and I’ll pay by card,” Bucky clarifies and she nods, slipping away to get it.

“Jerk,” you mutter crossly. You cross your arms underneath your breasts and lean back against your chair. “I can pay for my food just fine.”

“It’s not about whether you can or can’t. It’s about me wanting to pay for you,” he retorts. 

He pays and the two get up, grabbing their jackets and leaving the bistro. They stop dead in their tracks underneath the small canopy when they notice the startling, thunderous rain.

“What the fuck,” you state flatly, staring at the puddles forming in the dents of the sidewalk and Bucky grimaces. The air isn’t frigid but it isn’t warm either, and he bundles his coat around himself as he tries to figure out how to stay dry. You’re tugging a scarf around your neck, your overcoat already settled well on your shoulders as you look at him. He’s got his own raincoat folded over his arm and he shivers against the thought of getting wet.

“I hope it’s not too presumptuous a thing to do to say I parked in the apartment’s visitor lot,” he begins and you raise your eyebrow. “I wanted to make sure you got home safe and maybe take a look at that car?”

“Oh, right. Too bad we could’ve used your car right about now.” You smile, pulling the hair out from underneath. “Okay. What’s our game plan?”

“Stay dry.”

Your smile turns wry. “Apt.”

“Here.” Unfolding his jacket, he holds it above his head. “Get under and then we run.” 

“We are not gonna make it.”

“Gotta try. Get under.” You slip beneath his arm, your hands wrapping around his waist and he takes a deep breath to prepare himself. “Let’s go.” They sprint out into the pouring rain, their shoes slapping against the wet pavement as they run up the block.

“This isn’t working, Buck!” You twist as you try to keep pace but it’s clear that they’re both gonna get soaked. Bucky can’t quite run with you latched onto him so he throws his coat over you, tugging it tight around you before grabbing you by the waist and hoisting you into his arms. As if on instinct, your legs wrap around his waist. Rain soaks into his skull and he squints as it drops into his eyes while you hold the jacket to your head and he tries to regulate his breathing. Your arm looped around his neck, you press against him in an effort to take off some of the weight in his arms.

Your heat soaks into his dress shirt and he pants into your ear, finally reaching the apartment lobby’s door. Dropping you in a dry spot beneath the glass shelter, he shakes his head and flicks off the wet while you unlock the doors.

“Are you good?” he asks, heat burning into his cheeks and you glance at him as you pull open the door. He rakes a hand through his hair, grabbing the jacket you’ve extended to him.

“I’m dry,” you affirm. “Come on. We’ve gotta get you dry.”

“You don’t have to.” Walking into the apartment lobby, he’s hit by a wave of nostalgia. It’s been a year since he’s breathed in the filtered air that carries just a whiff of vanilla. Before, it was five years coming home to this. Rubbing his shoes on the carpet, he follows after you with a squeak and he drips all over the tiled floor while you get to the elevator. “Whew.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” you point out, peering at him. “I’m not gonna complain if I get wet but you are and I’m not, so I’m gonna feel bad if I don’t at least get you a towel.”

“I didn’t want you to get wet,” he replies stubbornly. “We can just look at your car and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

“You’re not bothering me, Buck.”

“Still.” The elevator doors open and they walk in. You swipe your fob before pressing the floor and lean against the rail while he drips onto the middle of the floor. Wiping at some of the droplets dotting his head, he turns to you and grins. “Bet it’s just like old times.”

“God, don’t remind me. I can’t believe you asked me out right before we fell on Splash Mountain.”

“It made it memorable and you said yes.”

You laugh. “I guess so. Steve lost fifteen dollars to Nat who I clearly remember saying if you can convince me to say yes to Splash Mountain you can get me to say yes to a date.” The elevator chime and the doors open. You walk out and the keys jingle against your fingers. “Do you want anything to drink? I can make some tea.”

“Nah.”

“You hate tea. Right. Well, how does hot chocolate sound?” You glance back at him with an impish curl to your mouth. He resists the want to grab your hand and instead does a small jog to catch up with you. You walk with your hands shoved in your pockets and he casts his gaze ahead of him, swallowing. 

“Perfect.”

“That was actually a pretty good place, you know. I’m gonna need to go more often.”

“Yeah. The spaghetti was al dente and everything.” He hears you snort at his comment, reaching the door and opening it with a quick twist of your keys. He doesn’t know what to expect of the apartment he’s moved out of, but when you step in to reveal what used to be his home, he knows he shouldn’t have expected so much to change. The furniture has shifted, that much was a given, but that’s about it. It still smells like your strawberry shampoo everywhere and fresh laundry, and there’s still the dent on the wall from when Steve had tripped and spilled four bottles of beer he’d been carrying. The stains were removed. The dent Steve made with his head was not.

“Welcome home,” you joke weakly to him, your eyes flashing for a moment before you turn to head to the bathroom. He hangs up his coat, unbuttoning his dress shirt and you reappear with a towel before looking at the mess that is your ex-boyfriend. He’s soggy wet everywhere, even his socks. He thinks he might’ve stepped in a deep puddle based on the pant cuff absolutely plastered to his ankle.

You hand him the towel, eyes surveying the damage of his clothes and you chew on your lip. He runs his strands of hair through the towel, the heat of the memory of your body against his fighting off the chill nipping at his skin. You’ve always done that. Your hugs are warmer than any fire that he’s ever known and just the trail of your fingers has left a fire in its wake.

“I have the clothes you said I could keep,” you state lamely and he looks at you with surprise. He thought you’d have donated or burned it all by now. It was the hoodies and sweats he didn’t want anymore because they looked terrible on him and way better on you, but anything is better than being squelchy and soaked to the core. “I could get them out.”

“That’d be nice.”

“Alright. Help yourself to… well, anything. You know where it all is.” Peeling off his shirt, he heads to the sink where you keep plastic bags beneath the sink and throw it in, following it with his undershirt. Running the towel over his skin, he sighs. His heart doesn’t thunder nor does it beat wildly—that was young love—but it does feel fuller now that he’s here.

“Here.” You toss a red hoodie at him and a pair of black sweats follow after. He catches both with a grin, but it soon fades when he realizes what he holds and what you wear. You’ve changed into more comfortable clothes, wearing a matching hoodie to the one he holds in his hands. 

Thing 1 and Thing 2. Right. Before we were even dating. Just best friends.

“Old time’s sake.”

“Always said you should keep it for the next guy to come along,” he says, pulling it over his head. Your eyes stay on his own. Definitely past young love. You don’t even look at his abs and something about how familiar it is makes him sigh into the fabric of the hoodie. 

“Well, it never seemed right. This was when we were best friends, Buck,” you point out. He’s against the counter so it hides him changing out of his pants and into the sweats while you bustle around to gather what’s needed for hot chocolate. “I miss us.”

“Especially when we started sleeping together. Best sex ever,” he cheers and you laugh, getting a pot on the stove. Shuffling in beside you, he grabs some mugs and searches for the marshmallows while you get the milk to boiling.

As he brushes past, his hand rests on his back and trails across, and it’s not until you’re looking at him that he realizes.

“That was habit. I’m sorry.” He blinks. It’d been so natural to do, it’s strange to think it’s wrong now. “My bad.”

“It’s okay.” You grab a whisk and a measuring spoon, waiting patiently by the stovetop. “If I wasn’t comfortable with you touching me, I’d have reacted. You know that.”

Because of your shitty ex that isn’t me. Yeah, I know, he thinks. You’ve got a streak and I hate that I’m part of it.

“Yeah.” He pours marshmallows into the bottom of each mug. “Sorry I’ve gotta add to your string of terrible ex boyfriends.”

“Bucky!” The intensity of your voice makes him turn to you in surprise and you stand there, hands on your hips, face warped in an image of vexation. “If I hear you say you were a bad boyfriend one more time, I’ll smack you with a pan. You weren’t. If I have to spend the rest of my life, convincing you and reassuring you just so you’re brave enough to get back out there, then fine.”

“Doll, I—”

“I mean, seriously. You’re a fucking great boyfriend. You spent time with me but you gave me space, you listened, you always made sure I was comfortable and you’re so patient.” You turn back to your pot, dumping in some hot cocoa powder and whisking it a bit more angrily than he thinks you intend. “You do these things that seem small but mean the world to me, and you’re always looking out for me. I just… there is no way to say you were a bad boyfriend.” You look at him again and his eyes are wide as he regards you. “I don’t want you thinking just because we didn’t work out, no one ever will.”

He’s quiet as you gently pour each cup full of hot chocolate, the marshmallows floating to the top and he leans on the counter by his hand, looking down.

“It’s more than just the sex that I miss,” he says suddenly, and you look at him, expression easing.

“I know.”

“No, it’s… more. I miss your laugh, and the way you fold my clothes, and the tiny little post-it’s you leave on the fridge. I’m not asking you to take me back, I just… I’m still in love with you, you know? You’re the love of my life. It fucking sucks that apparently we aren’t meant to be.”

“I’m still in love with you, too,” you whisper, handing him a cup of burning heat.

“You ever think we could have a second chance?” he wonders, trying not to sound too hopeful. You smile behind your porcelain mug, just a tinge sad and sip before nodding. You set down the mug against the counter with a soft clatter and so does he, his finger tracing the rim of the white mug.

“I want to think so,” you murmur. Your eyes are focused on the small movement of his finger and he presses his lips together, trying to get something out. But then you turn away with your mug towards the couch and he follows after you. The TV switched on, you flip through the channels. “My car’s parked in my usual spot, if you actually do wanna take a look. I can’t force you to.”

“Maybe in the morning? You still take Saturdays off, right?”

“Yeah. Unless I get called in.” He walks up to you and sinks into the couch beside you. You lean on the armrest, knees tucked beneath your bum as he sits on the opposite end. They sip their drinks, a quiet falling over them. No one knows how to talk after the mention of a chance a relationship can come back to life once again. You pipe up when there’s a commercial break and Bucky blinks. “You know how you said you’d drop everything for me if the world was actually ending?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you mean it?”

“Of course.” He thinks about it for a moment. “Sky could be falling but it wouldn’t matter, long as I knew you were safe and that I was holding you tight, protecting you how I could.” You unfurl from your ball, leaning forward to set down your cup of melted marshmallows and hot chocolate and he drains the rest of it down. It settles in his gut warmly, but it also squirms as you sit up and face him. He sets down the mug. “All I want to do is protect you. I know in the end, it was me who was hurting you and just… I never wanted that. I wouldn’t let anything touch you if I could help it.”

“It’s impossible not to hurt people you love. That’s part of it all, Buck. And I’m sure I hurt you too, and I’m sorry for that,” you say, reaching forward past the knees tucked your chest. He takes your offered hand. “But I’m glad that you’re always here. That I know you have my back. Just know that I have yours. You can count on me.”

He squeezes your fingers gently and you smile wider. His own lips pull into a tender smile as he gently pulls you into him and you go willingly, crawling across the couch to rest against him. His arm settles around your shoulders as he extends his legs over the cushions. You nestle yourself, your cheek on his chest and his thumb rubs circles along your arm, gentle pressure through the sleeve of your hoodie. 

He looks down at you, and you look up at him, and there’s a moment when that is all there is—two lovers on a night in, too tired to sleep, unwilling to part for even a moment. You touch his cheek, and his thumb swipes over yours as his lips part.

“There’s no one else for me,” he whispers and your hand flattens against his cheek. He sits up and so do you, your other hand on his waist while his settle on your hips. There is something intense about his gaze, and by the twitch of your lip, he knows you’re bemused, but he’s serious.

“Bucky, there’s always going to be someone out there for you that isn’t me, no matter how much we both hate it.”

“That’s not what I mean,” he says. “I love you. I’ll love you for the rest of my life.” It is simple for him. The simplest thing he knows. Your eyebrows furrow together and you open your mouth but he continues on, “I’ll love you even if the sun goes black and the moon splits into two. I’ll love you even if you get married, even if you don’t, even if you have kids, even if you have none. I’ll love you if you become a dog person or even a fish person, and I’ll love you even if you move away.” You shift in his lap, and he swallows, shaking his head at the incredulous feeling you bring to him. Love fills him up and drains him hollow, and you are everything. 

“I’ll love you if I never see you again. I’ll love you if I see you once every six months, and I will love you if I am lucky enough to see you every day. I’ll love you when you’re old and grey and don’t remember who I am. I’ll love you enough to bring you back. This isn’t young love anymore. We danced around each other for three years before we got together—I’m past the honeymoon phase. This is fucking real for me. When I say there is no one else, I mean that I will never love anyone like how I love you. And I’m fine with that, as long as you’re happy.”

A beat. Bucky can hear his heart in his chest, slow and beating. He is sure of this and your eyes scan him, searching for lies. There are none.

“The hot chocolate inspired this?” you question teasingly, but your voice trembles, soft as feathers and he wonders if it is the same emotion that stitched his heart and lights it on fire. He is dynamite dormant, waiting for a spark. 

“Everything about this night did,” he murmurs. Your thumb swipes at his lip, a gentle thing and he smiles. His own gaze stays on your eyes and he remembers a time when he’d do anything to kiss you. Now all he wants is your smile.

“I don’t know if I love you as much as you love me,” you begin quietly, your words tasting like chocolate and sugar against his skin. He chuckles. “But I do love you a whole damn lot.”

“Never one for words, huh.”

“I prefer action,” you agree. Their noses brush and his lungs hitch as you close your eyes. He does too, the presence of you nearly overwhelming. His every nerve tingles and his hand on your hip tightens as your lips gently meet his. He doesn’t know anything but the familiarity of you against him, the gentle tug of your fingers in his hair, the blissful quiet that fills his head as his chest explodes. He kisses you back but you pull away, a soft smile on your face. Your arms loop around his neck as he looks at you and you look thoughtful. “That sounded a lot like Lemony Snicket the more I think about it.”

“I read books to my best friend’s kids,” he points out and you laugh. “Sarah really likes A Series of Unfortunate Events.”

“Well, we can’t fault her. Steve and Natasha are some of the biggest bookworms ever.”

“Doll, she’s four.”

“She’s a smart kid.” You shrug innocently and he laughs, scrunching up his nose. It has always been easy with you. Tentatively pressing another kiss against your mouth, he feels you reciprocate it quickly and his smile spreads wider across his face. Your arms tug him closer. “Bucky,” you mumble against his mouth and he hums against you. His fingers bunch the fabric at your waist and you squirm in his lap, inching to get closer. “I want to try again.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Your fingers dust over his brow, swiping away hair that’s fallen into his face. He grins, eyes closed blissfully at how fond the gesture it is. “I know we can do this.” His eyes flutter open at half-mast, watching you as you carefully trace down his cheek. “It’s gonna be okay, right? We’re gonna make it work, right?”

“We’re gonna do our damn hardest to try.”

“Okay.” You hug him tightly, resting your head on his shoulder and he wraps you in a tight embrace, letting you melt into him. Your whole body seems to relax in his hold and he closes his eyes, burying his face in your neck. “I needed a hug.”

“Well, you can always count on me to give you one now, doll.” You pull back and he raises his chin as a slight smirk twitches at your lip.

“Never thought I’d be thankful for an earthquake,” you whisper nefariously and he laughs into your mouth as you press a kiss hard enough to push him onto his back. He falls, legs straightening along the length of the couch. You fall with him, your hands on either side of his head and he simply holds you to him, laughing when you pepper kisses down his neck. You know every ticklish spot on his body and he can’t help but raise his head to expose the expanse of his neck.

“You’re evil,” he gasps, scandalized, and you peek up at him through your eyelashes, your eyebrow arched. He meets your eyes and it’s like the sun is in his chest. He is lighter than he has been in months.

“You love me anyway,” you say. 

Bucky can’t help but agree.

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

Secret Baby Ch23

Dabi wakes up one day to Giran calling to ask him if he can take on an emergency mission. He needed Dabi to go spend a night or two at the League with Jin. Dabi says no at first, citing the agreement he made when he took Dabi on as an employee. Giran simply sends the exact same message back and Dabi knows he’s not truly asking. He doesn't have an option in whether or not he accepts doing Giran a favor. He’s been kind so far, routinely pays Dabi on time and always gives him his full amount of pay. He Can’t afford to lose his job, especially when the price for betraying Giran is higher than he can pay. “Come to the cafe right away, you will be shown straight to the back this time.”

Dabi swipes to mark it as read as texts Kikiyo’s babysitter, a feeling of dread and anxiety building. That’s normal for him though, he chalks it up to growing up the way he did and being on the wrong side of the law.

'You're going to have to find somebody else ‘Dabi.’ I know that’s not your actual name but whatever, Kikyo is obviously a mutant child. I'm not certified for Mutants. She wouldn’t stop screaming last time, I'm sick of the little feathers tripping me up as I try to take care of the other kids.”

Dabi tried to call her, to work something out just for the day as he drummed his fingers anxiously on the counter. Maybe get a recommendation if she wouldn't babysit Kikiyo, someone who was actually certified instead of going through this again. She must have blocked his number after sending the text because the number comes across as out of service. A quick internet search recommends a daycare several miles away from the nearest bus stop. It’s almost twice what he had been paying her. He swears and bites his lip as he rubs at his tired eyes, pacing in the kitchen. Kikiyo cries, scenting her fathers rising distressed scent filling the air. The black haired omega closes his eyes, biting his lip until it bleeds as he calls his mothers number. There’s a chance she won’t sell him out to Hawks or her husband. Slim as that chance is, Dabi isn’t left with any other choices with the trouble he’s gotten himself into and how much he owes Giran.

He can’t tell Giran that he can’t go through with this job. He can't take Kikiyo with him. This mission is coming at an inconvenient time and he doesn't have anyone else he can call to watch her. It’s been long enough, he misses his siblings if not his mother. He was hoping he wouldn’t have to do this. The phone rings and rings, Giran sends another message asking if he is on his way and Dabi sends back a simple no. Dealing with a disappointed or upset giran is somehow worse than calling his mother and he thinks about hanging up the phone and explaining to Giran for a moment that he has a kid and no babysitter. He doesn't know what other explanation he could give Giran that he couldn't disprove in minutes. He’s never been late before, the bus on his routes are suspiciously never late or full. He’s taken note of it before and had just been grateful. Only now does he consider that it may have been the work of his boss.

Maybe he was seeing how far he would go for him. At what point he would choose Kikiyo over his job. He had a job for kikyo, because of kikiyo. Dabi doesn't know the last time he had a moment or thought or action for himself that it wasn't stolen. Kikiyo’s cries turn to screeches as the call gets declined and Dabi’s stomach plummets. He feels sick as he leans against the counter, squeezing his eyes shut against a migraine hard. Redialing Rei’s number, just in case she had been away from the phone and missed the call. “This is Rei todoroki. May I ask who is calling this number?” she doesn't sound like she’s short of breath or in pain. Maybe it’s a good week. She can come and watch kikiyo and they can talk afterwards. Even if she never wanted Dabi, she can want and love her grandchild. Dabi can make peace with whatever he has to for her safety.

“Hey, it’s uh. It’s Touya.” saying his old name feels clumsy. Like an ill fitting coat, it reminds him of a different kind of stress. When he was struggling to be happy for just a few minutes before everything changed and he made plans to never be seen again. Married off to whoever gave enji the most benefits. Nothing but a tool and an object like his mother was treated. Kikiyo had very well saved him from that fate, Dabi isn’t sure how long he would have been able to bear it.

“I, I don’t know if you guys thought I was dead or um. I don't know what exactly you had thought happened to me but I, I had her, your granddaughter. I’m sorry I lied about geting a abortion. I’ve, I’ve been barely making it mom-” He hates doing this. Rei can’t offer him any help and even if she can she won’t. Dabi doesn't want to give up this thing he’s started with Giran. He can just, He needs his mom to watch kikiyo for a few hours. He can make it on his own with just this help from her.

“I can’t give you any money Touya.” she says and Dabi feels a tear dip down his cheek as he realizes her tone never shifted at the realization she was talking to him. Maybe enij reported him as a runaway but they couldn’t arrest him. they couldn't bring him home again because he was over 18.

“No, i. That's not why i’m calling. I need a babysitter.” He feels more tears leak out his eyes and he pokes Kikiyo’s cheek to make the screeching stop.

He places a few crackers in front of her and she’s instantly distracted with the food. Peeping at him every few bites and holding a cracker out for him that he smiles at as he pretends to eat it. Nibbling at her little fingers and forcing himself to smile at her to give his daughter the impression that everything is just fine. Daddy’s just weird sometimes and smells scared when there’s no need for her to worry.

“I have my own job. I just-” He hates begging her for things, she always lets him down and he’s tired of being out of options. “I’m not going to whatever rodent infested place you've landed yourself in to watch your child. Not when you shouldn’t be off partying with some random alpha who I’ve never even met or who never asked us to court you.” Despite the harsh words her tone is dreamy and far off. Dabi knows she’s staring off into space as she speaks on the phone, no clue where he is. Uncaring and someone else will have to dress the kids and feed them tonight, help with homework since he’s not there. She might come back to herself tonight, it's hard to judge over the phone.

“No mom. I’m by myself. The father isn’t in the picture. I told him the same thing I told you.” he panics slightly. She can't process what he’s saying right now, never has been able to. He needs her though. He’s gotten himself so far down in trouble that he can’t get out and he’s comfortable with that until now. “You can come meet your grand baby. She’s wonderfully behaved, I promise. She can just smell me right now and im. I’m scared and alone and i'm in some trouble if i don’t go on this job.” he admits as his eyes widen in panic and when Kikiyo wont eat her crackers and starts crying again he nearly cries with her. Instead he picks her up and bounces her in the air as he holds the phone between his ear and his shoulder. “I said no Touya. I can’t, He would find out. Just like he found out about your clubbing when that young blond man came knocking on the door. Looking for you. Everyone else had to pay for your mistakes because you weren’t here Touya. I refuse to clean up after a child I never wanted. I don’t have a grandbaby or an oldest omega son.” There’s a click as Kikiyo chirps shirlley and Dabi let himself slide down to sit against his counter.

Dabi’s head snapped up as there was a knock on the door. Grabbing Kikiyo and shuffling back away from the door. He glanced towards the balcony door as he held her tightly. They were on the 5th floor, no way he could make it down with her and still manage to run. The missed Call and message from Giran glowed on the screen and he pressed Kikiyo’s face tightly to his chest as he back away down the hallway. Not that it would do either of them any good to hide in the closet, still he pushed the clothes to the side and as he sank to the back shushing Kikiyo he spread them back forward to hide them. He hadn’t even taken his pills recently so he couldn’t hide them, throwing off distressed omega and baby pheromones.

His heart stopped beating as he buried his nose in Kikiyo's hair, clenching his eyes shut and clutching her to his chest as the door rattled and opened, of course Girain had sent someone who could pick locks.

He froze as his bedroom door rattled and a familiar scent met his nose. Kikiyo’s too seeing as how she managed to pull back enough to let out a cry to be picked up. It didn’t matter that Giran had come himself to harm them, that Dabi was terrified out of his mind and uselessly trying to shush her.

“I, I’m sorry Dabi. I didn’t think about how this must look to you.” Giran spoke outside the door. Dabi didn’t dare breath as he heard the rustle of clothes and Giran sat down outside the closet door. Scent deeply sad and like he was trying to comfort Dabi. Old books cigars and coffee the most comforting thing he’d smelled in a long time and the closest thing he’d ever had had to a comforting parental scent.

“Dabi, would. Would you mind coming out here? I can hold her if you wish or you can leave her in there but i think it’s time we talked. About what exactly you plan to do when your a single disowned omega with an infant getting involved in organized crime.” he sighed. Waiting another moment before he stood up and pulled back the door. Pushing Dabi’s clothes out of the way as Kikiyo cried loudly to be transferred to him and Dabi kept his head down, gritting his teeth against literally baring his fangs at Giran and shuffled them back deeper.

Giran let out a heavy long breath before stepping into the closet and sitting down across from them. Wrinkling his suit even further and closing the door behind him. Dabi marginally relaxed as he peered across the dark space at him. He took off his suit coat and placed it behind himself as he held his arms out for kikiyo. Dabi crumbled as he passed her into his arms as she coo’d at him. Patting him on the nose as tears dripped down Dabi’s face, head kept turned to the side as he avoided looking at Giran. Giran held her close and put her near his shoulder like he would burp her. Gently talking to her about how happy he was to meet her and how hard her dad was working to keep her safe. The words ‘I’m so proud of your father’ came out of his mouth and Dabi let out a sob before he managed to shove a mouth over his hand, fliniching back. “Dabi. Come here.” Giran held out his other arm as he comforted Kikiyo and Dabi dove for it. Getting easily pulled into his arms as he sobbed.

He doesn't know how long the 3 of them sat like that, sitting in Dabi’s closet as he sobbed and Kikiyo giggled and Giran held them both.

[labelleofbelfastcity]

fig and gorgug’s excellent adventure

word count: 1.7k

read on ao3 here!

“Bill, my most esteemed colleague…”

Fig looks over at a quietly snoring Gorgug, his face softly lit by the shadows of Bill and Ted on her crystal. Even after a year of knowing each other, a few months of which were spent in a cramped cell together, she hadn’t known he snores. It had never been quiet enough, she had never been quiet enough, to notice that about him.

If Fig focuses, she can feel the rumble of the tour bus against her back, and, if she leans her head against the metal wall by her shoulder, the vibrations of tires over asphalt rattle around in her skull. They’ve only been on the road for a week, with just two concerts under their belts, and Fig is already kind of exhausted.

It’s a lot. The managers and the calls home and the makeup assignments for missed schoolwork. She probably wouldn’t even be doing the latter, but Gorgug spends his allotted midmorning time sitting at their extremely tiny table, with papers of Barbarian Theory and Engineering 1 scattered around him, and she’d feel like an asshole to just watch.

Fig hasn’t been sleeping well, either. The little bunk seems to press in around her, shoving her into an even smaller version of herself. Which feels stupid to complain about, because Gorgug is over a foot taller than her, since his growth spurt over the summer, and he’s sleeping just fine.

As if to prove her point, Gorgug shifts in his sleep, curling closer into Fig’s side. It’s just past one in the morning, and they have a gig tomorrow so Fig should really be sleeping too, but she’d felt like crying, for some reason, alone in her bunk. She’d crawled into Gorgug’s, instead, and pulled up Bill and Ted while he blinked blearily at her. It didn’t take him much longer to fall back asleep—now with his arm tucked around Fig’s shoulders—and Fig continues to hide from her emotions by watching Ted philosophize.

“Hey, Gorgug,” Fig hisses, burrowing her head into his chest in a way she knows will stick him with her horns. “Gorgug.”

“Hrmgh,” he grumbles, shifting more so that Fig can’t really poke him anymore. “Go to sleep.”

“No. Gorgug, hey. Come on, dude, I have an idea.” She doesn’t, really, more the idea of an idea, just like how Bill and Ted only operate on negative brian power and a pretty homoerotic bromance.

Homoerotic. She must’ve texted Kristen too much yesterday.

“Sleep is my idea,” Gorgug says, but it’s more of a sigh and a yawn wrapped up together and stretched like a yawning cat.

Fig’s brain unhelpfully supplies an image of sleepy Riz—ears cocked all funny and pupils absolutely giant. She shoves it back into the little chest lovingly marked “Bad Kids” that she’d constructed the second they drove away from Elmville because Fig is great at compartmentalizing and hiding her feelings. Totally.

“I’m bored, I want to do my idea.”

“You’re watching Bill and Ted.”

“No, I’m not. I’m talking to you.”

“Then stop talking to me and go to sleep.”

Fig huffs, about to say something just into the realm of mean, but then she feels Gorgug smile against the top of her head, and she relaxes a little.

“What’s your idea?” He asks, still sleepy, but also endearing in that goofy and sweet Gorgug way.

There’s a pause, while Fig tries to come up with her idea. The bus trundles along and Bill and Ted continue to kidnap historical figures. Finally, she says, much quieter than is warranted, like it’s some big secret she’s been holding close to her heart, “I’m gonna find a chronomancer so we can go back in time.”

“Like Augefort?” Gorgug yawns again.

“Absolutely not, Augefort doesn’t have Rufus energy.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Maybe not a chronomancer, then, but like, someone who’s fucked with time, ya know. It would be cool to hang out with someone who’s fucked with time.”

“Like Augefort?” Gorgug says, before amending, “No. Wait. Rufus.”

“Yeah, Rufus,” Fig agrees. “Except if Rufus were hot, I think it would be more fun if our Rufus was hot.”

“Rufus is already hot. He’s got… sunglasses.”

Fig giggles and Gorgug snorts too. “You need your eyes checked, dude.”

“We watched the,” he yawns, “the Matrix last month. That’s what you said about Neo.”

“Uh. Neo is Keanu Reeves so just, automatically hot. Which. Speaking of. Bill and Ted are right there, dude.”

Gorgug laughs, quietly, voice still gummy with sleep, as he pokes her gently in the side, “I thought you liked older men.”

Fig makes a face that is very scandalized and very affronted. “That doesn’t mean I like Rufus.”

Gorgug shrugs, as best he can while in cuddle-mode. “I don’t know…”

Fig huffs and whacks him on the arm. “Maybe we should go to sleep.”

“Works for me,” he says, and settles back down.

“Hey. Hey! Don’t go back to bed, Gorgug. I’m still talking.”

He grumbles and turns his head even further into hers, trying to shield his eyes from the crystal’s light. “Watch your movie.”

“This is our movie, Gorgug. It’s ours.”

“It’s too late for it to be ‘our’ anything.”

“You’re no fun, you know that? No fun.”

“I’m sorry,” Gorgug says, way too sincerely for her to continue down that line of teasing.

“Hey, no, it’s fine. You’re tired, I should let you rest.”

Gorgug’s hand moves where it’s on her shoulder, rubbing over her sleep shirt, and then pausing, “Hey, is this mine?”

“Um,” Fig says, because it is, in fact, his. He’d left one of his Owlbears t-shirts on a chair, right after they unpacked all their stuff onto the tour bus, and she’d thought about it for approximately three seconds before snatching it and chucking it at her pile of clothes.

That first night, neither her nor Gorgug had gotten any sleep, sitting on the floor of the bus between their bunks, anxiously going over lyric and style choices for the next night’s show. So the shirt had waited until after their first concert, when both of them had been too tired to do much more than change out of sweaty, smoke-filled clothes and fall into their respective beds. It had smelled comfortingly of the Thistlesprings’ homemade fabric softener, but Fig’s varying states of cleanliness have not helped the smell stick around.

Now, though, cuddled up against Gorgug’s chest, she doesn’t miss the shirt’s smell. It’s nothing compared to the real thing.

“It’s okay if you took it,” Gorgug says, cracking a small smile. “It looks better on you anyway.”

“Since when do you have an eye for fashion, Mr. Hoodies-In-Summer?”

He reaches around and pokes her on the cheek, “Hey, my hoodies are a catch for women ages thirteen to twenty-eight.”

“We did sell, like, a literal ton last night,” Fig says, snorting.

There’s a lull in the conversation. Bill and Ted shred some sick air guitar.

“...It’s a little weird,” Gorgug says, eventually, in that introspective tone of his that promises paternal questioning.

“What is?”

“That we’re sophomores in high school and have so many people, like, caring about us. Or, I mean, watching us. Like, I guess we’re famous, or something? That’s weird.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“I guess I never thought about it like that.” Fig’s been too caught up in the whole being famous thing to think about what it means for her, a fifteen year old, to be famous. She isn’t a fan of thinking about it, actually, and decides to put it off even further. This is why Gorgug’s the thoughtful, considerate one.

“That’s probably why you’re better at songwriting than I am,” Gorgug muses. “You just do what feels right.”

Fig shifts a little, so she can look at him better, his features cast in the shifting colors of the crystal. “Dude, that’s like all drumming is. Like, just playing your emotions and not overthinking it. And you’re literally the world’s best drummer.”

“Oh,” Gorgug laughs, “I wouldn’t say that.”

“You are. What other teenager gets to go on a tour while they’re still in high school?”

“Um. The Jonas Brothers?”

“I mean this in the nicest way possible, but if you compare our music to the Jonas Brothers again I will stab you with my horns.”

“I really don't think they’re poky enough to do that—”

“Stab, Gorgug. With force. You wouldn’t like it.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll take your word for it.”

“Wo-ah,” Ted says, on the crystal.

“Wicked,” Bill chimes in.

“What if we talked like them at our next concert?” Fig asks, “Just come out with full Bill and Ted voices and keep them up the whole show.”

“That sounds… hard.”

“No, it would be fun! Like, um,” Fig switches into the voice, drawing out her vowels and smiling dumbly, “we’ll totally get babes like this, dude.”

“You can get princess babes,” Gorgug says. “I’ve got Zelda. That’s basically the same thing.”

“Oh my god, you’re too cute,” Fig burrows closer to him, back in her usual voice.

She can tell Gorgug’s blushing by the bashful tone of his silence. “Um, thanks. I should probably call her tomorrow.”

“Do you mind if I join too? I really like her, she’s nice. And sick as hell.”

“Yeah, that would be fun! We can show her our set, maybe.”

“Totally! If school wasn’t on right now we could’ve brought her along.”

“I don’t know, wouldn’t that, like, Beatles us?”

“Did you seriously just mention another boy band? Also, beyond that, did you use the Beatles as a verb?”

“Er.”

“Sometimes, I wonder how you ever made it into the punk-rock scene. And then I remember that I invited you.”

“Thanks for doing that,” Gorgug says, wrapping his other arm around Fig’s shoulders. “I never really said it before, but, thank you. This has, um, it’s meant a lot to me.”

“Oh, it’s nothing, dude.”

“It’s, like, kind of everything right now, Fig.”

“Oh.”

“So, I guess, um, thank you. For inviting me to join a band with you and taking me on tour.”

“I, uh… Of course. Thanks for being my drummer, Gorgug. I’ll always take you on my adventures.”

“And I’ll always go with you.”

Bill says, “Excellent,” on the crystal screen, smiling at Ted with big eyes.

Yeah, Fig thinks, as Gorgug sighs and smiles into the top of her head. Excellent.

[bedtimebrain]

EXO KAI: Detective Gone Wrong P3

You can find the masterlist to the other parts on my bio/description!

Characters: JonginxYou

You came to know Jongin by accident, but have no clue he’s EXO’s Kai. And when you found out....

You walked away blankly, remaining in a daze until your phone started vibrating in your pocket.

It was your boss who called and anxiously asked if you could cover her shift from the afternoon as she forgot about her wedding anniversary dinner.

You gladly agreed, thinking it might be better to have something to occupy yourself with today. Otherwise you’re just going to be spending the day thinking about you and jongki.

Still sane enough to be in need for breakfast, you went by the convenience store to pick up a sandwich. Standing in front of the fridge, you paused to think

What does jongki want? Does he... like me ?

And he KISSED ME TOO?! That’s definitely something only couples do right?!

How did everything escalate so fast overnight ?!

‘Excuse me, are you getting anything? You’re standing in the way’

You must have stood there for quite a while, looking at the irritated face of the customer. Apologising, you just grabbed whatever sandwich there was on the shelf and left after paying.

Falling deep in thought and replaying what happened last night again, you opened your sandwich packaging and bit down on your sandwich  

EW! Egg Mayo!

You sighed. Feeling a little more miserable with wrong sandwich choice, you continued feeding on your thoughts on the way home.

You dive straight into your bed and hugged your big Coney plush the first thing you got back. You screamed into Coney like a lunatic and kicked the air violently with your legs.

Stupid jongki, who does he think he is. Ah yes, I secretly gave you a kiss, so what. IT WAS JUST A FRIENDLY KISS CAUSE YOU WERE CUTE.

BUT WHATS WITH KISSING ME ON THE LIPS AND WAKING UP TOGETHER LIKE ITS ABSOLUTELY NORMAL

What a flirt!! See y/n you were right. Rich, handsome guys, tsk. Bound to be bad.

You threw coney to the side and your phone came crashing down with it from your side table.

Groaning, you bend over your bed to pick it up, only to see a message from the dear boy you wanted out of your mind right now.

J:I’m heading out for work soon~ have a good day today😙

Is that a kissy face?!

Oh goodness, you were so annoyed.

Kim Jongki, are you playing with me right now?? WE ARE NOT ATTACHED

.....

at least not yet (?)

Tossing the phone aside, you decided to take a shower. Afterall showers always work best for any occasion. You got up and spent a peaceful 20minutes running under hot water, clearing your thoughts. 

Though still feeling bothered, you were definitely more refreshed. Time check , it was about time for you to get changed and pick up lunch on the way to the store.

Dusting on some light make up, bunning up your hair, you changed into your working clothes. In 30 minutes you were out of the house.

On the bus ride to your working area, you were so torn between checking your phone and not to. You wanted to know if jongki texted you again, but you didn’t really want to deal with this situation.

Fiddling with your phone, you almost dropped it when it beeped to announce a message had arrived.

That’s a sign, I should look at it! Since it rang when I’m thinking whether I should

Excitedly you unlocked your phone and checked your notification, only to find that it was just a reminder message from your landlord to pay your rent.

Your heart literally dropped because you actually really wanted to receive a message from him. Just then your phone beeped again and this time it was from jongki!

J: y/n ah what’s for lunch today? I’m having kimchi stew. Texting because I thought about you who might be board having an off day today :p

Sigh, you can’t deny that boy is so cute and lovable. But you still weren’t ready to reply him. You wanted things to be clearer between both of you. While uncertainty in relationships can be the most heart fluttering period, you didn’t like being in that phase.

It wasn’t long before you reached your stop to alight. Not feeling particularly hungry yet, you stopped by street stalls along the way instead.

You arrived at your shop, feeling satisfied with the pajeon you just had. You almost forgot how therapeutic the scent of flowers were until you stepped in. The mixed floral scent of dew and freshness instantly released you from the troubled thoughts bugging you at the back of your head.

‘Unnie! I’m here! How could you forget your wedding anniversary , hahah. Have you bought a gift or something yet?’

‘Ah, y/n ah! My life saviour. No I haven’t bought anything! There’s just too many activities and occasions this month that I forgot about my own. Gosh’ she face palmed herself making you laugh

‘Then you better leave soon to get your gift! I’m here already anyway! I’ll just continue wrapping this bouquet you’re currently working on’

‘I’ll buy u a meal another day, sorry for calling you back on your off day~ oh right I’ve a parcel coming later, just open and let me know what’s inside. I ordered so many I can’t even remember what’s coming anymore.’ Removing her apron, she rushed off after saying googbye. 

Looking at the tasklist, it was going to be a busy day. 5 bouquets to finish and lots of prep for the workshop tomorrow. You immersed yourself in the wrapping right away. 

A few minutes later, your phone lighted up. It was a message from jongki.

J:yaaa, are you ignoring me deliberatelyy? do you want to come over again on sunday? 

You scoffed when you saw the message because your detective mind came to a conclusion that the latter question was just bait to get the answer to his first question. He was tempting you with a chance at his place that was a hit or miss if you don’t reply him. 

You put down the stalks of flowers you were still holding in your hands, you paused to form an appropriate reply. 

Text:

my lunch was great, and i cant go over on sunday, im going to my parent’s place 

You typed then deleted it, doesn’t sound about right, you remember telling him yesterday that you got a half day shift on sunday which you really hated.

Trying again,

i got called back at work 

Sounds fine? Should you send it like this? 

‘Delivery!’

Reacting in shock , you pressed the send button by accident at the voice of delivery man

ah shucks! 

You closed your eyes and hit yourself on the head imaginatively. Smiling at the delivery guy, you received the parcels and signed them off. 

One of it came in a tube, while the other was in a box.

What in the world did unnie order that would come in a tube? Wallpapers? Drawings??

The tube really piqued your curiosity, so you decided to check that first. opened it first.

Opening the tube, you pulled out a rolled piece of paper. Unrolling it, you noticed at the top right was a black and white logo that writes EXO Obsession. 

Ohhhh EXO!! Unnie likes exo?

Ever since you watched 100 days my prince, you had a positive inclination towards EXO. Which also reminded you of jongki who seems to like EXO Kai.

You wondered who was going to be in this poster. Not like you would recognise them though, you thought, unless its do kyungsoo ssi. 

A little excited, you pulled the poster open to full length.

Looking at the poster that stared back at you. Your smile faded away. Your jaw dropped.

‘Jongki oppa?’ you muttered under your breath

There was an uncanny resemblance between the man in the poster and jongki. 

 No way, who the hell is this from EXO? 

You turned the poster to the back hoping to find a name of the man in the picture. But there was no information.

Flipping back over, you looked closer at the other small details on the logo, you found this 3 lettered word staring back at you — ‘KAI’.

EXO KAI? Jongki watches his dance videos... or rather, Jongki also can dance ..

There were only two logical possibilities to this , either jongki has a twin or... kai is jongki..

You had to know the answer to this incredulous situation.

Making a grab for your phone, you saw jongki had already replied you , but you weren’t even going to read it

Madly typing away

Y: Oppa, do you have a twin ?

You could feel blood pumping through your veins as you sent it.

How could this be possible ? He mustn’t be exo right?

Although you weren’t interested in boy groups, there’s no one that hasn’t heard of EXO in the whole of korea. And that’s how popular EXO is.

Even though you have never checked them out to find out how they looked like, but you still knew a few names. Names like Baekhyun , chanyeol and.. kai..

Thinking of it now, it seems to all make sense that he could dance, he has abs, he’s rich, works till late, doesn’t reply all the time....

As you waited for his text to come back in, you googled EXO Kai.

Birth name: Kim Jong In

Birthday: 14 Jan 1994

Height: 1.82m

1994 was his birth year, that’s right. Kim Jong in, difference of 1 word. 1.82m, yes, obviously describes him. Google images ? 100% similarity.

If it’s not a twin....

Ding!

His msg came in

J: uh, no.. that was so random though, why? Saw someone looking like me?

You didn’t want to believe this. The friend you’ve been hanging with and even sleeping at his place.. is kai?

In the past, when you watched those cliche dramas you never understood why people made such a huge fuss when they found out their dating partner has a hidden identity.

Like isn’t it totally exciting and fun! Especially if the person turns out to be some rich CEO. Wow, your rags to riches story would come true over night.

That’s how you thought you would react.

But honestly, all you felt was some sense of betrayal right now.

Y: oppa, I think I just found out what you do...

you sent

Just in a few seconds, he replied

J:really?! What’s your wild Guess this time ?

Your hands were shaking as you prepared to type this. The moment you send this and he confirms it... what are you going to do ?

But still, this has to be done

Y: EXO Kai. Kim Jong In.

Again, he replied instantaneously

J:omg, took you long enough!! How did you find out though??!

Clearly not being able to sense the tension over the phone, he was, as usual, cheery about everything.

Y:so it’s true ? Why did you lie your name to me?

You had no idea why you felt so emotional to the brink of tears about this truth.

J: ah, I’m sorry for lying about that.. I was worried initially if I told you my real name you might make a connection and recognise me at the start.

He double texted as soon as you received that msg, saying

J: y/n, are you ok?

You typed

no I’m not. I don’t even know how I should be feeling now, or what I should be doing about our friendship.

But.. you didn’t send it. You switched your phone to do not disturb and kept it in your bag.

You stared blankly at the poster for a while before putting it back in the tube. You’re still in disbelief. This situation was ridiculous. But it was logical.

In a state of mental breakdown, you couldn’t even wrap your bouquets right. You switched over to prepping for the workshop tomorrow instead. But your mind was so preoccupied with the whole fiasco that you kept missing things out. You just wanted work to end and have the time to yourself.

The entire day went by in a mess, but at least it finally ended. Back at home, you scroll through the multiple texts he sent you

J: hmm, seems like you’re pretty shocked about this right?

J: I wanted to tell you but you said you preferred if I didn’t though..

Then there was also a missed call from him

J: Call me back?

You swiped away all his notifications. There is something you really want to do, but not really ready to. You contemplated

Should I? Search kai up ?

Typing into Google, you searched kai. It was strange, just 24 hours ago you guys were so close, almost like lovers. But right now, you’re searching him up and getting to know him like an unreachable stranger.

You tapped into one of those webpages that told fans his entire life story. From his blood type to who he has ever dated and all that small little things people conclude from what he has said.

Again, you felt a stab in your heart and sour inside. These were things you never knew about , but surely, everyone else but you knew. It was like... jongki wasnt jongki, this him is different, it feels so far and distant from the one you knew...

Pondering on that thought, you let out a bitter laugh. Jongki really wasnt jongki. He was never jongki.

Switching to YouTube , you click on ‘mmmh’ the first result when you searched kai. No matter how you tried to keep an open mind, you didn’t like it. His costume made him strange and the song really wasn’t your type.

Deciding that’s enough for the day, you put your phone aside and tried your best to fall asleep.

—-

Back at work the next day, you decided to get some ‘intel’ from your boss about kai.

‘Unnie, you like EXO Kai?’

‘Ne!!! Wae? Isn’t his visuals to die for???’ She reacted so excitedly upon hearing his name

‘Why don’t I remember you liking EXO though?’

‘I recently just got into them because of my friend who kept playing their songs on repeat in her car’ she laughed as she fixed the flowers

‘Why did you ask though? Since when were you interested in boy groups?’ She continued asking

‘Ah... When I checked the poster yesterday I thought kai was really good looking, so I’m just asking haha. So what’s so nice about kai you bought a poster?’ Finally asking what you really wanted to .

‘Oh gawd, you really wanna know? I could go on a whole day about jongin. Though he is sooooo fierce on stage , killer looks and everything, but he has such a cute personality!! You know when they ........’

And she went on and on about it, even showing you clips of kai on variety shows, interviews, etc. In these the sense of familiarity was back, you felt like this was the Jongki you knew. Oh well, it’s Jongin now, you really got to change it out.

You laughed along with your boss and you understood why he had so many fan girls. Introducing you to some EXO songs, you had to admit you really liked them!

Knowing more about kai now, you went back home that night and sat infront of your laptop, making a search for EXO’s variety shows, music videos and the likes.

You searched up ‘kai cute moments’ and you wanted to sqush him because he was just so cute like how he was normally. At the same time you can’t help but feel a little jealous that you’re sharing these sides of him with other people too.

You watched his dance videos and he was literally a dancing king. Thinking back to when he danced for you, you suddenly realised just how many girls would die to be in your place.

It was already 1am by the time you finished your search. A msg came in just as you were about to crash

J: are you up? I’m going to the convenience store to grab some food. Are you hungry? Want to come along?

Seeing his msg, you felt a little bad about ignoring him for the 2nd day now. How should you reply him now that the situation is a little awkward ?

Nicely, your phone died as you were thinking.

Alright, just a sign I should go to bed, oppa I’ll reply you after I get my phone charged up tmr.

——

You woke up to an absolutely crisis that you overslept. Considering how you didn’t sleep well for the past 2 nights over jongin, this was bound to come. You quickly washed up and left for work.

Plugging your phone into the portable battery, you phone came back to live. Again, jongin was persistent in his texts. 

J:y/n ah don’t ignore me please

J:Come over on sunday? 

J: I’m waiting for your reply. 

It was 1.30am when he asked you to come over on sunday, but his last message was past 3am. He must have been thinking about what happened with you.. You felt bad for being so absorbed in how you felt and failed to consider his feelings  when it really wasn’t his fault.

All this started out because of your dumb self who wanted to play detective. But then again, if you had found out who he was from the start, would you have gotten this close with him? Possibly not. You replied him without delay

 Y: i’ll come over on sunday

The shop gets really busy on saturdays, packed with workshops, tons of deliveries and online orders. You didn’t have time to check your phone till the end of the day, at which you saw you missed jongin’s call and texts again.

J: omg, you finally replied! is there anything you want to eat on tomorrow? i could get it if you’re coming over from work

J: we are all ok now right? 

Should you call him back? It wasn’t like you were completely okay yet, you couldn’t imagine how it would like seeing him tomorrow. He was surely still that jongki you knew, but he was also kai.

Thinking to leave the rest for tomorrow to think about, you just replied 

Y: there’s nothing i really want, just get whatever you like:)

Back at home, for the 3rd night in a row, you stayed up like a fan girl again, watching all of EXO ladders, their concert videos. You squealed and fangirled over them like a teenage girl. The more you watched, the more you started falling harder for them.

---

A halfday shift always makes your day go by real fast. You were standing outside jongin’s door. You were suddenly reminded of the times you watched 100 days my prince with him and talked about D.O. who he probably knows 1000x better than you do. And how you asked if he was a kai fan. Oh gawd, you wanted to jump into a hole. Feeling a little nervous and a little awkward and hella embarrassed, you didn’t want to press the door bell.

Finally pressing the door bell, you waited for barely half a minute, which felt like eternity before he opened the door. You could even feel your palms sweating. 

‘Annyeong Y/N! Come in quickly!’

You didn’t reply him immediately, neither did you move an inch yet.  The smile on his face slowly faded and he just looked at you, starting to chew on his lips. 

Seeing his face once again, in real life, your heart skipped a beat. You knew it wasn’t because he was kai, but because he was still jongki, that someone special to you.

You quickly smiled back at him the moment you got out of your thoughts. He let out the breath that he has been holding, making you laugh. 

‘Annyeong, jong..’ you paused there, about to call him jongki 

‘annyeong jongin oppa’ it sounds weird to you, not to be calling him the name you were used to

You guess he must have been feeling a little awkward when you called him by his real name too, he scratched his head and chuckled.

‘I ordered pizza, are you hungry? let’s eat’ he gestured for you to go to the dining area and was ready to walk away

But you felt you had to talk to him first about this, 

‘oppa, can we talk?’ 

He turned around to face you, he nodded slowly

‘sure..’

You walked over to him, leaving a comfortable space between the both of you. 

He avoided your eye contact as you started

‘so... EXO Kai huh?’

‘...y/n, i.. you should know i have no intentions to hide anything from you deliberately, i was ready to tell you anytime. but i also thought you would react in a ‘pleasant surprise’ way rather than a ‘nasty shock’ received, so i just let it be’

He looked at you with sincerity in his beautiful eyes which showed how bad he felt. But you honestly just wanted to clear the air and lighten up the mood

‘actually, I just wanted to tell you that... I became an EXOL!’

You exclaimed and laughed. His eyes widened and stared at you like you were out of your mind, before bursting into laughter too.

But his laughter soon turned to sobs, and he rubbed his eyes profusely, which got you stunned

‘I... I thought I messed up our friendship, our relationship. And I really missed you, I didn’t want our us to end like this.....’ he said in between sobs and almost sounded like he was wailing

‘We haven’t even started...! Y/N, you scared me when you didn’t even reply at all! I thought you didn’t want to contact me anymore!’ He give you a light push on your shoulder as he emotionally spilled out all his thoughts

Though you were really confused, it was heart wrenching to see him cry so hard. You quickly put your arms around his waist and have him a hug.

‘Oppa, I’m sorry for the past few days I ignored you. I was just trying to figure how to handle the weight of the truth that you’re EXO Kai. Hahah, I’m so confused at your reaction right now you know.’

Calming down, but still sounding nasal he said

‘I’m going to make you stay here today until I’m convinced that you don’t hate me for being kai.

Oh and that you won’t go MIA on me again if you found out some other kai stuff’

Breaking away from the hug, he grabbed onto your shoulders

‘Y/N I like you, I really like you, so don’t leave my life please’

His impromptu confession got you feeling shy, you didn’t know what to do , but merely nodded in response.

Feeling all bright again he grabbed your hand and pulled you into the house.

You were glad it was as if nothing has changed, except that you probably became the luckiest fangirl alive just like this.

———

This fic went through so many content changes, I’m so glad I finished writing this! For those that waited for this part, I hope it wasn’t too underwhelming:,) feel like there’s definitely still a lot for me to work on as a new writer.

Also just dropping a note to say this would most probably be my last fic tell after may! Please check out of my other fics in the meantime too:) Hopefully I’ll be back with better writings !

[moonb-eam]

35 & 1? (thirsty bitch right here)

lmao Thirsty Anon in the houuuse

(i combined both of these into one story and somehow that translated into me writing 1.8k of the SHMOOPIEST dirty talk, if you can even call it that???  i...have nothing to say for myself but anon, i may have failed you)

(eeeek i hope you still like it)

no. 1 “Come over here and make me.” & no. 35 “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

Eliott’s just sat down on the bus when his phone buzzes.

hey, are you on your way home? 

He feels himself smile at the sight of Lucas’s name, just a little bit, just a small one, but it’s more than he’s done all day. The evening rush was brutal at the restaurant tonight, with dropped plates and rude customers and the head chef having a meltdown inside the walk-in freezer. Eliott lost count of how many times he’d had to grit his teeth, bite back a snappy retort, and instead say, of course, sir, I’ll have them remake it, or no, that wasn’t a plate I dropped but yes, I can go get the broom and clean it up.

By the time Eliott left, his shoulders were so tight, his face so stony, he was sure he would crack from the faintest hint of pressure.

But he sits on the bus, he sees a text from Lucas, and he can feel himself unclench the tiniest bit.

yeah, he texts back, work was beyond shitty. i’m fucking exhausted.

He immediately gets a reply.

oh fuck i’m sorry

Then another.

do you need anything? I can make you some good for when you get here?

fuck

food**

Eliott is smiling down at his phone like a fool but Lucas is just. He’s so sweet. He’s always so good to Eliott, always taking care of him.

But he doesn’t need dinner, he ate during his break, and anyway he only wants—

just need you.

He sends it off without even thinking about it, because he means it. The whole time he was at work, whenever something shitty happened, whenever a customer made a snide remark or his manager said something condescending, he thought about Lucas, thought about how in four hours, three hours, two hours, one hour, now, he will be able to go over to Lucas’s. He will be able to see Lucas again, to touch him and hold him. 

He’d gotten lost in a memory while he was rolling cutlery sets; of how Lucas had looked that morning, drenched in sunlight with Eliott’s sheets tangled around his legs; of how warm he’d been, how sweet he’d tasted when Eliott had kissed him; of how breathy his moans had been when Eliott had mouthed his way down Lucas’s stomach.

His coworker had to call his name three times before he heard her.

It’s all he can ever think about, lately.

He can be at work, in class, walking downtown, sitting on the bus, but no matter what he’s always there at the back of Eliott’s mind. His favourite daydream. Lucas.

His phone buzzes.

oh yeah?

That’s…

Eliott shifts in his seat, licks his lips. 

yeah. so badly, babe.

It takes a while for Lucas to respond, and while Eliott is waiting the bus stops and two teenage girls get on, sitting across the aisle from him at the back. Eliott has the sudden urge to conceal his phone, as if they could possibly read his texts from over there.

Then, finally, there’s a reply.

i guess you should get home fast, then

And there’s a photo attached, and Eliott slams his screen down into his leg before his brain even fully registers it. He sits there like that, phone face-down, not breathing, until he feels it buzz again. He slowly turns it over.

was that too much? i’ve never done that before

is it weird to send pictures like that?

eliott?

Eliott doesn’t respond because opening up the newest messages meant opening up the photo, which means Eliott is now staring, open-mouthed at Lucas, standing in front of the mirror in his room, wearing a button-up shirt Eliott left behind a few days ago.

The shirt hangs loosely on Eliott so it’s massive on Lucas, covering the tops of his thighs, sleeves falling over his hands.

And Eliott can’t be totally sure, but it looks like Lucas isn’t wearing anything under it.

“Fuck,” Eliott whispers to himself, leaning back in his seat. “Oh fuck.”

He is not getting hard on the bus. He is absolutely not doing that. There are people around.

The bus suddenly feels to small, the ride too long, the distance to Lucas too far to even comprehend. There’s a desperate, restless energy coursing through Eliott, a mix of over exhaustion and horniness and anticipation. It comes out of his fingertips, restlessly drumming against the seat in front of him, on the tops of his knees, against the back of his phone. 

He almost misses his stop with how distracted he is, with how he keeps thinking about the picture on his phone but not opening up his phone and instead staring straight ahead and tap, tap, tapping his fingers.

He presses the Stop button and shoots up from his seat, ignoring the looks the two girls send his way.

Eliott practically sprints from the bus stop to Lucas’s place, nearly loses it from how long the elevator ride feels, bouncing on his toes on the spot.

Lucas’s door in unlocked, and that’s good, that’s perfect, because Eliott is bursting through it, and the first thing he sees when he enters the apartment is Lucas, coming out of the living room carrying an empty mug and his phone.

His hair is mussed, he’s barefoot, and he’s wearing the shirt.

“Oh.” Lucas’s eyes are wide as he takes in Eliott, standing in his doorway. “Hi.”

“Jesus Christ,” Eliott breathes.

Lucas blinks. He looks down at himself. “Uh, yeah, I don’t know why I sent that, I woke up from a nap and I found this shirt and I dunno…I was feeling a bit…well, whatever, that’s why I usually don’t try to…” His voice trails off into an awkward cough as he looks up, and Eliott can see his blush even from how far away he is.

Lucas turns, starts heading into the kitchen, and Eliott trails after him.

“Lucas,” he says, and there must be something in his voice, something that makes Lucas look up from where he’s put the mug down into the sink.

When he doesn’t say anything, Lucas prompts, a bit testily, “What?”

“You…” Eliott lets his eyes roam, indulgent, from the top of Lucas’s head all the way down to his toes. “You have no idea,” he says, and it feels right because he doesn’t think Lucas does. Lucas has no idea what he does to Eliott, how much he affects him. He has no idea how lucky Eliott is, how grateful Eliott is that, somehow, the universe decided that he could have this.

Lucas’s head is tilted, considering. The kitchen is dark, and his eyes are deep pools of blue-black. “Did you…did you like it?”

“Lucas. I almost got hard on the bus,” Eliott says, pained, and Lucas tilts his head back to giggle.

“Well. Okay,” Lucas says, noticeably pleased, the blush back in full force on his cheeks.

And suddenly, Eliott needs to touch him. Needs to touch him. 

“You can send me a picture like that whenever you want, Lucas. Literally whenever you want, and I have to tell you, you look so fucking good in that shirt, but I also have to tell you I need you to take it off right now.”

Lucas balks. “What?”

“I’m serious. I need you naked like, right now.”

Lucas lets out a surprised bark of a laugh. His eyes are teasing when he slowly drags his fingers down the buttons of the shirt. “Is that so? If I had known you would get this riled up, I would have—”

“You heard me.” Eliott’s voice is quiet but stern, even to his own ears. He can see the way it makes Lucas’s mouth drop open. “Take it off.”

Lucas freezes for a moment, but then his mouth snaps shut, and he plants his hands on the counter behind him, eyes challenging. His voice is all sunshine-tinted teasing and moonlit tremors when he says, “Come over here and make me.”

Eliott’s feet carry him over before he even realizes he’s moving, hands flexing at his sides with the closing distance, with the promise of, I’m going to feel him, now, now,

Now.

Eliott’s hands are sliding around Lucas’s waist, to the small of his back, bunching up the soft material of the shirt with the motion. It feels so good on Lucas, and Eliott already knows he won’t be able to wear this shirt anymore, will probably be rendered useless by the feeling of the material against his own skin.

Lucas is standing on his toes, eyes closed and ready for a kiss, and Eliott doesn’t even think about denying him.

It’s slow and deep, both of them sighing into it, Lucas moving his hands from the counter to grip tightly onto Eliott’s waist. It’s overwhelming, so easy to get lost in, and Eliott pulls back to take a breath, to get his bearings, but he stays close, close enough that their mouths are still brushing together when Eliott starts to unbutton the shirt.

“You are…so…fucking…beautiful.” Eliott murmurs, each word punctuated by another button opening. Lucas exhales shakily against Eliott’s chin. “I can’t believe you’re mine,” Eliott continues, hands moving slowly downwards. “Can’t believe I get to have you like this.”

“Christ,” Lucas whispers. “Eliott, you—”

“I love you,” Eliott says, finally reaching the bottom of the shirt, opening the last button and then running his hands up Lucas’s soft skin, catching on the waistband of the briefs he’s wearing under it. 

Lucas is panting now, small gasps of warm breath Eliott can almost taste. I love you too, Lucas mouths back, and Eliott is leaning down for another kiss, Lucas’s lips just parting under his, when Lucas disappears from his arms.

Eliott stands there, blinking stupidly at the space that was previously occupied by a boy with soft skin and soft lips and soft hair and now is nothing more than cold air between his fingers.

“What…” He says dumbly, turning to see Lucas backing into the hallway. The shirt is slipping off of Lucas’s left shoulder, fanning out around his thighs and his eyes are hooded and his smile is wicked and he really is a dream. Lucas is the best dream Eliott’s ever had.

“I don’t know about you,” Lucas is saying, still taking slow backwards steps, “but I’m going to my bedroom.” Eliott’s face must look lost, because Lucas laughs. “You can come too, if you want.”

If he wants. Eliott takes three long strides forward, and bends at the waist, wrapping his arms around Lucas’s knees, and in one smooth motion tipping him over his shoulder as he stands, picking Lucas up off of the ground.

Lucas shrieks out an “Eliott!” but he’s also laughing and Eliott is laughing and they disappear into Lucas’s bedroom like that, a mess of laughter and indignant yelling and flailing limbs.

The door slams behind them, but all of the kinetic energy in the apartment, charged and alive, lingers, the blue of the night sky turning electric, the very shadows stretching across the kitchen floor seeming to dance.

(This is what dreams do.)

[jungshookz]

ceo!yoongi

→ pairing: min yoongi x reader 

→ genre: ceo!au, clumsy!y/n because that’s always nice, jimin is ur best friend, floofy fluff, a touch of nsfw aka office sex

→ wordcount: 21k+ so u should probably read this using ur laptop and not ur phone

→ note: inspired by my love for an intimidating yoongi in suits 

(gif isn’t mine!) 

(((and the read more function iS there so if it doesn’t work for some reason i am sorry don’t attack me))) 

“shit, shit, shit, fuck- ow, shit- fUCK”

you scramble around your apartment shoving things into your purse while simultaneously dressing yourself

out of all the days to wake up late

why did todAY have to be one of them???

you have your house keys dangling from your mouth while you wiggle into a pair of jeans aNd your phone is sandwiched in between your shoulder and your ear

“the new boss is going to be here any minute now, where the hell are you??”

“obviously i slept through my goddamn alarm, jimin! i- yes, i’ll be there in like… five minutes. i’m on the bus already”

that was an obvious lie because you’re still trying to find a decent shirt to wear

you end up going with a polka-dotted button blouse

“you better hurry, i hear this guy’s a bit of a hard ass. apparently he fired someone who was only two minutes late to-“

“you’re freaking me out, jimin!!!! look, it’s fine he’s probably just going to introduce himself and then hole himself up in his office so he won’t even notice that i’m late”

your own words reassure you and you slow down to take your time in choosing a pair of shoes

“okay, yeah but you’re his secretary, y/n. i think he’ll notice if his own damn secretary isn’T THERE”

…..he has a fair point

“if you don’t get here in the next ten minutes dinner’s on you tonight” the call clicks off and all you hear is the dial tone

by the time you get to the office it’s 9:23 so you’re officially 23 minutes late BUT you made a stop by the starbucks across the street to grab a soy latte for the new boss

the old boss (mr lin - he was pretty chill but he was alSo pretty old so that explains why the company decided to let him go) would forgive you immediately when you presented a soy latte and a muffin to him

you were sure you’d be fine

“ooh, hold the lift, hold the lift!!!!!” you slip right into the lift right as the doors are about to shut and you let out a sigh of relief because you didN’t spill the coffee thank god

“hey, morning” you turn to give a nod of acknowledgement to the (handsome, very very handsome) stranger standing next to you

he’s dressed in a crisp suit and he’s currently scrolling through his phone but he looks up at you and kind of looks you over before humming in response

his raven black hair looks awfully soft and it’s perfectly styled

and whatever his cologne is…. you’re digging it because he smells goOd

you look up at the little screen telling you that you’re only on the eighteenth floor

the office is on the fifty-second floor and this lift is literally as slow as a snail

you then notice that the stranger is also going to the fifty-second floor

huh

a new co-worker!!

so either you wait in awkward silence with this hot stranger or you try to stir up some conversation

“y’know, i hear the new boss is a bit of a prick.” you snort, glancing over at the stranger. he tenses and his eyes leave his phone but he doesn’t turn

“oh, really? interesting” he shifts and tightens his grip on the folders he’s holding

“mm. and i’m his new secretary so hopefully he doesn’t chew me out for being-“ you look down at your watch “28 minutes late”

“his name’s yoongi. min yoongi. even his name sounds snooty, am i right?” you snort, glancing over again and just tryIng to get some kind of a reaction out of this emotionless person “are you, uh, are you new here?”

usually you’re like super charming but it doesn’t seem to be working on this guy

you glance up at the screen again and let out a breath of relief because you’re approaching the fifty-second floor

“it’s not good to be late, but i admit i’m a little behind on schedule as well. and yes, i’m new.”

“we better hurry otherwise mr min’ll have both our heads on sticks!”

“are you late because you stopped to get a coffee and food?” he raises an eyebrow and looks down at the starbucks cup

“hm? oh, well, kinda. it’s more like an apology drink and a chocolate chip muffin for the boss.” you raise the cup and the paper bag slightly “everyone loves muffins”

the elevator dings and the two of you look up

the doors open and you’re surprised to see… what looks like every single employee just standing in front of the doors

the stranger takes a step out but turns around quickly to face you and you’re kind of like ??

“i’d suggest doing a little more research next time, secretary. i’m not a muffin person.” and then he’s walking out and everyone’s bowing respectfully to him as he introduces himself

it doesn’t hit you until the doors slowly begin to close again and the last thing you see is jimin looking at you with so much pity in his eyes

“you’ve got to be kidding me.”

THAT WAS YOUR BOSS

THAT WAS MIN YOONGI AND YOU TOTALLY JUST

you would be so happy if in this moment the elevator just broke down and sent you hurdling down fifty two floors to your DEATH

you freeze when the doors slide open again but thankfully it’s just jimin standing there

“hey buddy” he approaches you slowly as if you were a ticking time bomb 

“hi”

“….so you met mr min i see”

“mhm”

“and i’m guessing u didn’t know that was mr min”

“yes”

“and i’m guessing u tried to strike up a conversation abouT mr min tO mr min”

“indeed”

jimin has to drag you out of the elevator and you’re as still as a statue as he fixes the collar on your blouse and makes sure your employee lanyard is straightened up

“i wouldn’t have gone with this blouse but i suppose this is presentable enough” jimin gestures towards the long hallway leading to yoongi’s office doors (with your cute little station set up by the doors) before he’s giving you a pat on the shoulder and heading back to his cubicle

you know that scene from the shining

the shot where it’s like a long, long hallway and there are those two creepy twins at the end

this is like that except instead of twins you have your new terrifying new boss’ office

you set your bag down on your chair before turning to the doors

you clear your throat a couple times and look down at the latte and the muffin sitting on your desk

maybe he’ll like the latte

so you pick it back up and you give yourself until the count of three

and then you’re knocking on his door and you hear a muffled ’come in’

you take a second to think over what the hell you’re going to say to him

“mr min i am sO sorry i swear i wasn’t trying to offend you i was just trying to be funny because i thought you-“

and just when you thought things couldn’t possibly get any worse

things get worse

because yoongi just so happened to be standing right by the door as you opened it and of COURSE you knock into him causing the lid to pop off the cup and now the two of you are covered in latte but it’s more you than him thanK god

your face is so red you’re sure you’re going to explode

you don’t even know what to say at this point

“i am……. so-“

“sorry? yeah, i’m seeing a main theme here with you.” yoongi scowls and shakes some coffee off his hand before looking down at his stained louis vuitton button up

this was new but it’s okay because he has 10 ten more in his closet

“i’ll pay for the dry cleaning?” is all you can squeak out because you are just so horrified

yoongi rolls his eyes discreetly while he’s patting himself down with his silk handkerchief

what the hell is wrong with you??? you’re not usually this clumsy and you’re sure you’re like 1 more sorry away from getting fired

“can you just send me my schedule for today?” he sighs as he heads back towards his desk “i’m sure it’s easy enough for you to handle” he mutters condescendingly and you know what you totally deserve that comment so you’re fine with it

“yessir” you don’t even bother asking if he actually wanted a coffee or not because you just want to get out of his fiery gaze

surprisingly the rest of the morning goes by pretty smoothly

he came out of the office wearing a new crisp shirt and you were like dAng this guy’s prepared for any situation

unlike you

because you’re sitting here with your cardigan buttoned all the way up to hide the stain

you keep a smile on your face whenever yoongi passes your desk to head back to his office but after you hear his door shut the smile drops and you always let out a breath of relief

he’s just so…. scary

and he’s your age too

if he was a co worker instead of your boss you were 100% sure the two of you wouldn’t get along at all

and you get along with almost EVERYONE

you’ve never been happier when your phone goes off and tells you it’s your lunch break because you just want to rant to jimin and

“turkey sandwich on whole wheat. lettuce, red onions, avocado, chipotle mayo. the place is called the sandwich station. it’s a block or two down. i’d like a green juice to go with it as well- hold the cucumber. they know my order. you can just tell them it’s for me.”

what the

yoongi literally just materialised out of nowhere

“….i’m sorry?”

yoongi clenches his jaw and you want to CRY

“it’s noon. meaning it’s lunch time. meaning i want my lunch.”

the old boss never made you go out to get a fancy sandwich for him

there’s a canteen here for a reason

they’re serving spinach and potato curry today!!!!!!!! which is your favourite!!!!!! and your lunch breaks are only an hour long and by the time you get back the curry will be gone but maybe you can ask jimin to save you a bite

“is there a problem?”

“no! no sir.” you shake your head quickly and get up from your seat “but, um, just to let you know we do have a canteen here if you ever- okay, yep, i’m going”

jimin’s standing by the lift when you get there and he’s like why did you press the down button the canteen is Up you dummy

and you’re like mr min wants a fancy sandwich and a green juice what kind of sane person likes green juice???

jimin promises he’ll save you a bite of the curry as long as you make it back in time aka fifteen minutes before he inhales it all

you say goodbye to each other in the form of air kisses as you walk into separate lifts

so now you’re sprinting down the sidewalk trying to find this damn sandwich place that isn’t one or two blocks away it’s like TWENTY minutes away according to google maps

you would’ve worn a sports bra today if you’d have known you’d be running

by the time you finally make it there you’re all sweaty and red and you can barely speak

“h..hi, a sandwich and a green juice thing for, um, mr min yoongi??” you look at the notes you scribbled down on your palm even though all the words are smudged from your hand sweat “it’s turkey on whole-“

“for yoongi??? coming right up!!!!” the girl at the counter seems a little too enthusiastic to be making a sandwich and a juice for him….. and she’s on a first name basis with him….

but whatever at least she’s being speedy about it

you check the time on your watch

jimin’s probably already eaten everything

your lunch break ends in half an hour and it’ll take you 20 minutes to head back so that leaves you with like ten minutes

maybe you can get a sandwich from here

you look up at the- oH NO way you are not paying tHAT much for a sandwich

this place is bougie

certainly not for someone with your budget

maybe there’s like a hot dog cart nearby

a hot dog sounds good

“here you go! tell him i said hi. i’m lisa, by the way.” she smiles and you give her a smile back as you take the bag from her

you kind of pause to think and you’re like hMm what do you meAn tell him i said hi,,,,,,

does yoongi have a secret sandwich lover

you don’t have time to think because you are reminded that you are running out of damn time

“thanks for being so fast, lisa. uh, here you go. this should cover it.” you throw the bills that yoongi gave you on the counter before you’re zipping out the door and beginning your little jog back

you feel your phone buzz in your pocket and you already know it’s yoongi wondering where the hell you are

you make it back in tEn minutes thank god but your feet are killing you and you’re sure your blouse is drenched in sweat by now

as you’re walking briskly down the hallway you pick up your pace when you see yoongi standing outside his office and leaning against the frame of the door

“what took you so long??”

“i-“

“there’s no excuse” yoongi snatches the bag from you and shuts the door in your face

you can already hear the chatter of people returning from their lunch breaks

aHHHH

your stomach grumbles and it’s your body’s way of reminding you that HEY quit neglecting M E

maybe you should have splurged on a fancy sandwich

you huff and plop down on your seat

now you’re just hangry and the next person who talks to you will FEEL YOUR FIERY WRATH

“by the way- reschedule my meeting with mr kim to next wednesday. he couldn’t make it today.” yoongi opens his door again and takes a sip of his obnoxious green juice

you spin around in your chair

immediately your lips tug up in a bright smile

“yes sir. i’d love to do that for you.” yoongi looks at you weirdly before he disappears into his room again

wow

where was that fiery wrath

that wrath could barely light up a birthday candle sis

about twenty minutes go by and you actually feel like you’re dying because you’re honestly starving so you decide to text jimin and tell him to sneak some food to you

you technically could just get up and go to the vending machine yourself but yoongi could pop out of his office at any minute and if he sees that you’re not at your desk he’ll definitely have your head

so it’s too risky

to: chimchim - be a pal and bring me a bag of chips or something from the vending machine

jimin jumps when his phone vibrates loudly against his desk and he apologises to his fellow cubicle mates before checking the notification

he can’t help but snort after he reads your message

to: y/n - i’m busy! get it yourself

he’s not surprised that you reply almost immediately

from: y/n - too risky!!!! plus you’re closer to the vending machine

from: y/n - just pretend like you need to print something you can come and use ~my~ personal printer

to: y/n - why would i walk across the floor to use your tiny ass printer

from: y/n - PLEASE i am so hungry i will take care of the laundry this week just get me something to eat before my body starts eating itself

jimin immediately gets up from his seat and heads right to the vending machine

he hates doing the laundry

you want to cry tears of joy when you see jimin’s blonde head bobbing down the hallway from where you’re sitting

“don’t accidentally turn all our white sheets pink agaIN” he teases and he tosses you the bag of chips that you open greedily

he’s munching on an apple himself

he’s always been the healthier one out of the two of you

“how’s the boss?”

you’re immediately triggered

“omg i had to go to this dumb fancy sandwich place and pick up an overpriced turkey club and a green juice for him and then one of the sandwich workers was like obViously wanting me to say hi to mr min for her and i was like ?? what do i look like a messenger pigeon or something” you snort and shove a handful of chips into your mouth unattractively 

“and ALSO he totally got mad at me when i got back because i took too long but it’s not my fault your dumb sandwich place is like a million miles away and another ALSO i’m walking in HEELS-”

“you should invest in a pair of flats, perhaps”

wow

there’s something else to add to your already shitty first impression

you swallow thickly when you realise jimin didn’t say that

you turn around slowly in your chair and you’re met with the intimidating gaze of yoongi

….R U KIDDING

why do bad things happen to good people???

yoongi tosses his trash into the bin sitting by your desk before he’s looking up at a terrified jimin

“is there a reason why you’re here, mr park?”

“…i needed to print something” he swallows his bite of apple and hides it behind his back

“do you not have a printer on your side?”

“it was jammed, sir.” 

“what are you printing?”

jimin blanks and all that comes out of his mouth is

“contra..ct. sir.”

“what contract?”

“this one!! this one” you grab a random sheet of paper of your desk and stand up and shove it into jimin’s chest

“yep, this one! i’ll be on my way, thanks for letting me use your printer y/n!” jimin practically rockets down the hallway to head back to his desk

dang

he barely made it out of there alive

he’s never doing that again

there’s a silence between you and yoongi for a couple seconds as the two of you watch jimin bolt away

you turn around a little to face him with a sheepish smile and you wobble slightly on your heels

“can i trust you to be more responsible and do your work instead of complaining to your friend about your awful boss?”

you open your mouth to reply but you dip your head down in shame

yah

you deserve that one

“sorry, sir” you murmur under your breath and you don’t want to look at yoongi because if you do you’ll definitely burst into tears

and your face is sO hot

you look up when you hear the click of yoongi’s door shutting and you let out a breath before sitting down

okay

time to actually work

you’ll find a way to make it up to yoongi

hopefully

the next morning you make sure to set your alarm like an hour earlier than you usually wake up because this day has to go PERFEctly otherwise you will literally stab your eyeball out with a letter opener

yesterday night you already set up yoongi’s schedule for today so that when he wakes up and checks his calendar he’ll know exactly what’s going on

you even memorised his schedule

he has 2 conference calls in the morning (one starts at 8:30 and the other at 10:15) and 2 meetings in the afternoon (one starts at 1:45 and the other at 4:30)

you just want to prove to him that you’re not a total disaster and you’re capable of handling this job

and you made sure to dress yourself up a little more ~professionally~ although it pained you to leave your skinny jeans aside and slip into a pencil skirt instead

you hATe pencil skirts

they’re so tight and after you eat lunch you always feel like your tummy is going to buSt out

so yes you’re wearing a nice white button up long sleeved shirt tucked into a black pencil skirt along with a pair of shiny black heels that you polished last night

you also spray on some perfume and put a little more effort into your makeup

because,,,,, it’s no secret that min yoongi is an attractive man

ahem

you just want to look more presentable!!!

you texted jimin last night and asked if he wanted to get to work early this morning and he was just like lmao who do u think i am

so you pass by his apartment door and stick a note on the front that just says ‘good morning - see you at work!!’

it’s about a twenty ish minute walk and you’re definitely regretting choosing a pair of stiLETTOs to wear

so you take them off and proceed to walk comfortably to starbucks to get yourself and yoongi a coffee

you’re about to ask for a muffin but then you remember that he doEsn’T liKE muFfInS so you stick with a black coffee for him and a caramel macchiato for yourself

of course you’re hungry so you get a bagel for yourself with extrA cinnamon cream cheese

after you get everything you head on over to the building and greet the security guards good morning and they’re all pretty surprised because you’re never here,, so early

your heels click clacking on the marble floor is the only thing that’s heard as you make your way down the hallway to your desk

you check the time on your watch and you’re satisfied with yourself because you still have about thirty minutes until work starts

and you lean back against your chair and you give yourself a mental high five because uMMM,,, you’re kiLLING it and it’s not even 8am yet

you look around and

wow it’s quiet

you can hear the bustling of the city from outside and it’s oddly very calming

you kind of want to fall asleep

plus that bagel really filled u up and you always get sleepy after a good meal

uh oh

okay

look

maybe you can take like

a five minute nap

you deserve it!

you can re energize yourself and then you’ll be even more efficient today

you rest your head on your folded arms and shut your eyes

yeah

five minutes

“good morning, sir”

“morning, mr min!”

“good morning, sir!!”

click

clack

click

clack

your eyes open and your vision adjusts to youryou shoot up from your desk and wipe the drool off the side of your mouth and stand up from your chair immediately

and you glance down at your laptop and see that you didn't take a five minute snooze you took a FORTY minute snooze

thank god you're a light-ish sleeper otherwise yoongi's shoes echoing down the hallway would definitely not have woken you up and he would’ve caught you sleePING

you look up to see yoongi walking down the hallway looking at his phone

so you quickly fix your hair and straighten yourself up

“good morning sir” you clear your throat to get the raspy sleepiness out of your voice and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

he walks past you and goes straight into his office and you’re about to sit down but then you remember you have a coFfee for him

so you knock on his door clutching his now lukewarm coffee

“i have a coffee here for you, boss” you walk over to his desk and place the cup on his desk

“one cream one sugar?”

uh oh

this coffee is black

“….i will be… right back” and you pick up the coffee and walk out of his room calmly

once you shut the door behind you you’re immEDIATELy zipping down the hallway to the break room

this coffee isn’t even lukewarm anymore now it’s just cold sad coffee

daMN it

it was stupid to buy a coffee forty minutes beforehand

and you can just make coffee here!!!! you dingus!!!!!

so you dump out the coffee and you see namjoon about to pour himself a cup but you slip over and you’re like namjoon sweetie hi good morning can i take that i am sO sorry

and you take the pot from him and refill yoongi’s cup

he just blinks at you because you hand him back an empty coffee pot

“it’s for the big guy you know how it is” and you reach past him to get the cream and a sugar cube and you plop it in and give it a stir

and you pop the lid back on and you’re like thanks joon i owe you big time!! and honestly you were moving so fast namjoon's not even sure what just happened

so you’re practically sprinting down the hall in stilettos back to yoongi’s office and you spot jimin walking out of the lift as you past by and you manage to say goOD morning buddy!!! but all he sees is like a blur and he rubs his eyes

when you get back to the office you’re panting a little but you calm your breaths as you set the coffee down

“one cream one sugar, boss” and you straighten your blouse and clear your throat

yoongi types something out on his phone and blindly reaches for the coffee cup and you gently nudge it towards his hand

he takes a sip and then looks up from his phone and gets his first glance at you for the day and

yoongi chokES on his coffee and quickly sets it down

holy shit

you don’t even look like the same y/n as yesterday

“oh shoot- do you need a napkin?? i’ll get a napkin hold on” and you shuffle out of the room and yoongi isn’t usually like this but he can’t help but let his eyes flicker down because dAmn you look good in that skirt

he thought you looked cute yesterday with your polka dotted blouse and your jeans but today you look so

sexy

god damn

okay

he needs to chill

you’re his secretary

he’s your boss

even more you’re his KLUtzY secretary who spilled coffee all over his shirt and talked smack about him

“…sir?” he snaps himself out of it and looks up and you’re standing over him holding a napkin

he thanks you quietly and takes it from you and dabs at his mouth

okay woO

keep it professional yoongi

“you've got a conference call in twenty minutes. i put everything in your calendar and it should alert you five minutes beforehand but in case it doesn't i'll come in and remind you. i filed the contracts you asked me to sort out yestreday everything's colour coded and also arrange alphabetically so it should be easier to find next time."

yoongi blinks up at you because... what happened to the y/n he met yesterday

“right. yes. good. okay." yoongi swallows thickly when he sees you suck your bottom lip in between your teeth which seems to be a nervous habit of yours "that's all i need from you then. you can go now."

you nod happily and see yourself out

this is a good start 

things are going to be greAT from here

:-) 

so

it’s been about two weeks since yoongi took over the company

and all you have to say is

you want to jump out the window

you want to jump off the fifty second floor of this building because yoongi is working you like a dog

which is something that you obviously aren’t accustomed to because the most rigorous thing you had to do for your old boss was to walk across the floor and get him a snack from the vending machine

but yoongi doesn’t do vending machine snacks because it’s appArently all trans fats

he mentioned it to you when you were scarfing down a little packet of cookies because of course you didn’t have time to get lunch for yourself because you were getting his stupid fancy sandwich like a million miles away

and you were like :) and threw it away and he nodded satisfactorily and then went into his office

and you bent down and picked the packet back up and threw the rest of the mini cookies into your mouth

he’s your boss not your dad

he can’t control your diet!!

omg

you’re so physically and mentally drained

you feel like a husk

your soul left your body the moment you met yoongi and it hasn’t returned ever since

you usually like being a secretary because you like organising things and colour coding things and going like ‘i’m so sorry- mr min will have to call you back’ and slamming the phone down because it makes you feel ~powerful~

but damn

you wish you had applied for an office job like jimin

he works in human resources

you would probably be really good in like finances or some other section like that

of course jimin isn’t paid as much as you’re paid so there’s that

you do want to continue having a roof over your head and food in your tummy so

you grin and bear it

to make a long story short

you strongly dislike yoongi and you’re pretty sure he hates you

here are some more things that have happened in the last two weeks

yoongi told you to photocopy 50 copies of a contract

of course you said yes and you went ahead to your little copying machine and made 50 copies

and when you went back and handed him the copies he looked at them and blinked and then looked at you and he was like this isn't the contract i asked you to copy

and you were like ?? you hANded me the contract

“this isn't the right contract”

“i-???”

“you were supposed to copy this one” and he hands you a DIFFERENT CONTRACT

so you end up shredding 50 sheets of paper and you make a brand new 50 copies and when you give the new ones to yoongi he’s like what took you so damn long??

and you were like

YOU, YOU BITCH

YOU TOOK ME SO DAMN LONG

you wanted to SCREAM

and another time

yoongi was about to go into a meeting but before that he told you that as soon as mr kim calls for him you should tell yoongi immediately

and your concern was that mr kim would call during the meeting and you would have to interrupt the meeting which is noT what you want to do but before you can voice your concern yoongi's like okay peace out i'm leaving now

and of course because the universe is against you

mr kim called during the meeting

so you knocked on the door and opened it and there are like 15 businesspeople just staring at you blankly and yoongi's staring at you blankly at the front of the desk

“sir, um, mr kim called"

and he nods and waves you away so you shut the door

after the meeting ends yoongi literally goes like

you shouldn't interrupt another meeting like that again

and you said that you only did it because yOOngi said to tell him as SOON as mr kim called

“hm. i don't recall telling you that."

you had your hands balled into fists so tightly that your knuckles were starting to get white but of coURse all you say is

“you're right, sir. it was my bad. it won't happen again."

“it better not."

and aNOTHER THING

LISA

lisa the sandwich girl

it's like she's expecting you to hook her up with yoongi

everytime you go into the shop she hands you yoongi's lunch and is always like :) tell :) yoongi :) i :) said :) hi :) and you’re like :) let :) go :) of :) the :) bag :) i :) need :) to :) leave :)

and because lisa is the last thing you're concerned about you never tell yoongi she says hi but you don't need to because lately she's been writing notes on the paper bag like ‘i was going to write a pun about a sandwich but i was afraid you’d find it stALe’

when you read that you were like ?? what does that mean are you saying the bread you used in his sandwich today is stale

one time you decided you'd splurge so you treated yourself to a sandwich from there made by lisa herself

it was,,, the worst sandwich you've ever had in your entire life

the bread was barely toasted

there was like 3 pounds of mayo in there

she was skimpy on the turkey

she placed the tomatoes on the bottom making the bread all soggy

yoongi must really REALLY want to get into lisa's pants if he can continue eating this shit without gagging

the conclusion here is that you hate lisa’s sandwiches but not as much as you hate yoongi

:) and you’re allowed to say that because you’re only saying it to yourself and it doesn’t count if no one else knows about your feelings :)

“we’re going to have sO much fun tonight it’s literally been a century since we last got to go to a club and get wasted!!!!! i even bought a brand new shirt for the occasion.” jimin grins and takes a sip of his juice and you nod excitedly

“i’m so ready to get shit faced let me tell you mr min honestly wants to make me rip my-“

“miss y/l/n.” both you and jimin turn when you hear your name and you’re surprised to see yoongi standing there

why’s he in the canteen he’s never in the canteen

“mr min, what.. can i help you with?” you clear your throat and turn yourself around a little more to face him

“i need you to stay late tonight to reorganise some files that your old boss kept tucked away in the drawers. it’s frankly a mess in there.” you don’t even get a chance to respond before yoongi takes a bite of an apple and strolls away casually

wait what

he can’t just

okay technically he can do that because he’s your boss but

not tonight!!! 

“mr min i don’t-“ you stand up quickly to chase him and he whips around and raises an eyebrow

“is there something wrong?”

yes there’s something wrong

you have plans tonight!!!!!!!!!

you’re going dancing and you’re going to down shots like there’s no tomorrow and you’re going to wake up tomorrow morning with a hangover like never before so yEs there’s something wrong

“…i don’t know if you wanted me to colour code them or arrange them alphabetically.” you breathe out and you feel your soul leave your body

your first night out in weeks and now you have to stay late and arrange dusty old files

“both.”

“of course, sir.”

“i’ll be here to keep you company you can get ‘shit-faced’ another time.”

you’re pretty sure you’re going to burst into tears when you see jimin and a couple other co-workers seemingly having a bLast at the new club downtown from his snapchat story

you let out a grunt as you get up from your knees

you’ve been organising these damn files for like two hours

yoongi was done with his phone call like half an hour ago and then he said he was going to get some food

your stomach grumbles at the thought of food

you h8 your boss with a burning passion

another twenty minutes pass and you’ve never been so relieved in your life when you finALLY are finished with the files

it only took like 30 years to dust things off and then colour code them and then re label them and then arrange them alphabetically

“good job, y/l/n” you give yourself a pat on the back and then plop down on yoongi’s cushy office chair

wow you feel powerful just sitting here

it only takes a second for you to start spinning the chair in circles because this is literally your only form of entertainment for the night

“if you break my chair it’s coming out of your paycheque.” you stop spinning immediately when yoongi seemingly appears out of nowhere

you’re about to apologise profusely and get up but from the way yoongi tilts his head and offers you the smallest of smirks you know you’re not in trouble

“i wasn’t going to break it.” you grumble and you’re about to get off his chair and let him sit but he sits across from you instead

you’re in the boss’ chair and he’s not

how the tables have turned,,,,,,,,

“here. eat. the only place open at this hour was mcdonald’s.”

“you bought dinner for me?”

yoongi plops a paper bag on the desk and your mouth waters when he pulls out a big mac and an order of large fries

“oh gosh, boss. you didn’t have to go all out for lil ol me” yoongi can’t help but smile before he shakes his head and pulls out a miLKSHAKE

“a vanilla milkshake? i thought you weren’t into sugar.”

“it’s for you. i know how much you love anything that rots your teeth.”

oh

that’s like

oddly sweet

but also kind of insulting

but still sweet in his own way

“i also bought a couple beers if you’re interested you won’t get shit-faced like you wanted to but you’ll get a little buzzed.” he pulls a niNE pack of beers out of the bag and cracks one open for himself

at first the meal is kind of awkward

the two of you are kind of just sitting there in silence eating food and drinking

but yoongi breaks the silence when he sees you dip a french fry into your milkshake

what

the

what the fuk

u so nasty

“that’s disgusting.”

“don’t knock it til you try it!” when yoongi opens his mouth to give you another snarky comment you shove a milkshake dipped fry into his mouth

he chews thoughtfully and then swallows

“what do you think?”

it’s sweet

and it’s salty

at the same time

somehow this disgusting combination works

“it’s… it’s okay, but it’s still disgusting.” yoongi mutters and takes a swig of his beer “here, i can’t finish all of these on my own.” he hands you a can of beer and you crack it open

the two of you spend the next hour eating and drinking

halfway through eating your milkshake became yours and yoongi’s milkshake

yoongi’s really enjoying your french fry hack in case that wasn’t clear

you’re really enjoying this beer it’s surprisingly good quality coming from the corner store

“i’m serious! i turned all the white sheets pink because of one red sock and jimin didn’t talk to me for a whole week because the two of us had to come to work wearing matching pink button-ups.” yoongi throws his head back in laughter and you suppress your own laughter by taking another sip of beer

the alcohol coursing through your veins is making you become a little more talkative than usual

“i have a question for you, boss”

“shoot”

“why do you hate me?” you push your bottom lip out in a pout and yoongi looks up at you in surprise as he wipes his hands off on a napkin

“where did you get that idea?”

“because you-“ hiccup “because you’re always so mean to me! like i know i didn’t have a great first impression but you knOw i’ve already apologised like a triLLion times for what i said and you also know i only say things to be funny but you’Re such a meanie-bobeenie sometimes it makes me wonder what the hell i’m supposed to do to make you-“

“y/n, i don’t hate you. i’m just-“ yoongi pauses to think “i’m just like that.”

why was he so mean to you all the time? he didn’t have a particular reason

maybe it’s like that thing where when kids have crushes on each other they’re mean to their crush instead of

wa,,,,,,aaaaaait a second,,,,,

yoongi has to admit he’s taken an iNKLing of an interest in you since your first meeting but it’s not serious or anything

like yes you’re attractive and you’re his type but,.,.,.,.,. ya you’re just his secretary it’s not a big deal he doesn’t like you like that

right

right???

“it’s, uh, it’s getting late - we should probably head home.” yoongi clears his throat and begins cleaning up the wrappers and napkins and ketchup packets

“thanks for treating me to an extravagant meal tonight, mr min. you really didn’t have to.” the two of you step onto the lift and you hit the ground floor level for yourself and the parking lot level for yoongi

“trust me, i did. i know how upset you were about not getting to go out with mr park and the others… and fast food makes everyone feel better. by the way - it’s after-hours. you can call me yoongi - mr min makes me feel like i’ve aged 50 years.” he nudges you playfully and you’re like i should get yoongi to drink more beers if he acts like this from it

and then ur like o wait that’s call alcoholism so maybe not

“touché.” the elevator dings and you look up “this is me! i’ll see you in the morning then, boss.”

before you get off the lift yoongi stops you

“sorry if i’ve been, um, a little hard on you since i started working here. you’re responsible and you’re hardworking i’m glad to have you as my secretary, y/n, even if i don’t show it sometimes. i promise i’ll try to be less of a… as you said, a meanie-bobeenie.”

that was,, unexpected

but aw!!!!

that’s nice of him to say

your lips tug up in a bright smile

“i’ll see you in the morning… yoongi.”you step out of the lift and you wave at yoongi as the doors shut

waking up in the morning for work feels a lot better now that you know yoongi doesn’t actually hate you

although your slight hangover doesn’t feel that great

you keep your sunglasses on when you walk into the office with yoongi’s coffee

and when you knock on his door and enter his office to see him also wearing his sunglasses you can’t help but laugh

“you’re having black coffee today, it’ll wake you up.”

“please tell me i don’t have any meetings today because i feel like death.” yoongi’s voice is all low and raspy and in ur head you’re like [h o ly shit that’s hot]

“i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you have two. your first one is in ten minutes. and i suggest taking your sunglasses off before you head in there.”

yoongi groans and slams his head down on his desk

the next couple of weeks go by pretty smoothly

aside from like one or two-ish slip ups

“y/n?”

“yes, sir?” you’re about to leave his office after giving him his morning coffee

you were almost late but after you took your heels off in the middle of the street and sprinted back to the office you made it right on time

the downside of getting there on timE is the fact that in your rush you literally forgot to pick up yoongi’s cup of coffee that was SITTING ON THE COUNTER neXT to youRS YOU IDIOT

luckily you picked up a little trick

in case something like this happened, you always bought two cups of the same coffee

like if you spill one cup it’s fine because you still have the other

but in this case you only have one cup

and this is your cup

and it says ‘call me sometime :-) -jungkook’

jungkook is the cute new barista that started working at your starbucks like three weeks ago?? he usually has the morning shift

and yeah you’ve been having fun like,,, flirting with him

because he’s an attractive guy

chestnut brown hair

cute round eyes

adorable smile

and he’s very very verY charming

so SUE you if you’re having a good time!!!! (although you’re like low key leading him on so you better cut it out soon)

but it seems that today was the day that jungkook decided he’d finally make a move

because when yoongi turns his coffee cup and points to the note

you’re like ….:) shit :)

“who is jungkook, and why does he want me to call him?”

“…business proposal?”

“and his form of communication is via paper coffee cups?”

“kids are getting super creative nowadays, boss”

“mm, okay.” yoongi takes a sip of his coffee and lets out a small sigh “you sure this wasn’t your cup?”

“nope. i need at least like five pounds of sugar and creamer in my coffee.” you laugh awkwardly and back up towards to the door “i wouldn’t get the same cup of coffee as you in case… something happened… oH is that my phone ringing pardon me!!” and you slam the door and plop down on your seat and let out a breath

yoongi smiles to himself and shakes his head

but he’s definitely going to need to call this jungkook and tell him to back off

yoongi’s definitely warming up to you

after one of his meetings he passed by your desk and placed a pack of those mini chocolate chip cookies from the vending machine in front of you and you were like gASP a GIFT

“what’s this for??”

“for actually getting to work on time two weeks in a row. keep it up and i might just treat you to a chocolate bar, too.”

one day as you’re coming back from your lunch break you see yoongi at your desk huffing and grumbling to himself

“mr min?” he looks up at you and then looks back down “what are you-“

“i’m trying to photocopy this contract but your stupid printer won’t-“ he pauses to smack the side of it and you gasp in shock because he just whacked your bABY “won’t work!! i think we need to get you a new one.” he scowls and scratches the top of his head

you roll your eyes before gesturing for him to scoot and then bending down to check out how much damage he’s done (somehow he created a small paper jam)

“it’s my printer and it only responds to my magic touch.” you punch a couple buttons on the thing and it sputters for a second before a fresh photocopy comes out the slit “here you go, boss!” you hand yoongi the sheet and he’s like i could’ve done it myself ur printer is just weird and you’re like mMMmm

you sit down on your seat and yoongi’s about to head into his office before

“by the way - i’m going on a date tonight, with lisa. can you jot that down in my schedule? the dinner reservation is at 6.”

“date with lisa at 6” you reply almost immediately and begin typing it out onto his schedule

wait

what

he’s going out on a date?

your heart immediately drops to your stomach

all you typed in was date with lis and you’re getting up and stumbling into his office

you wrap your fingers around the frame of the door and peek in

“boss?”

“mhm” he doesn’t look up at you and you swallow nervously

“what,,, what do u mean you’re going out on a date”

yoongi looks up at you and is like ?

“it’s pretty self explanatory… have you never been on one?”

your cheeks flame up and you’re like “of couRSE i’ve been on one i just-“ you stop yourself and press your lips together because what exactly are you going to say to yoongi

oH i just thought maybe i had a shot with you because we’ve been spending so much time together lately and we’ve gotten preTTy close and i think nO i'm pretty sure i have a teensy weensy crush on you sir but enjoy your date!!!!!

you scratch the back of your neck awkwardly and feel your cheeks flame up at the fact that you…. definitely have feelings for ur boss

but he has feelings for someone else

ouch

“i just… wanted to remind you that you have a skype conference at 10 tonight. i, um, i’ll be working late so if you need help during the conference you know where to find me and stuff. uh, yeah. that’s it.”

“okay. what time is it?”

you peer down at your watch

“5:20. you should probably get going in the next 20 minutes so you won’t lose your reservation”

“mm.”

there’s a moment of silence and you take that as a hint to leave

“y/n, wait.” yoongi lets out a breath and he stops sorting through the papers on his desk

you spin around on your heels and you’re like yes???

“if i’m not back by 9:30 give me a call to remind me about the meeting.”

“yes, sir.” you sigh and shut the door

yoongi frowns once you leave

it'll be fine

he's going to have a great time with lisa

yeah

your chair squeaks under you as you plop down on it and lean back and look up at the ceiling

wow

well

you feel pathetic

what were you thinking?

of course he’s not interested in you

he thinks you’re just a klutzy idiot of a secretary

you thought something had changed between the two of you considering you’d been spending sO much damn time together and honestly speaking you had completely forgotten about lisa

were you really that crazy to think that mAybe there was ~something~ romantic going on between the two of you?

why did you have to be such a hopeless romantic

you definitely need to cut back on the romcom binge-watching sessions with jimin

and now your fukicgn eyes are starting to tear up

great

just gREAT

stop!!!!

no crying at work!!!!!!!!!!! you are a grown woman!! get it together for the love of god

you squeeze your eyes shut and curse to yourself when you feel a hot tear rolling down the side of your face and you use the sleeve of your blouse to dab it away

if yoongi comes out and sees you crying that’d be humiliating

just cry at home like a normal person

you calm yourself and distract yourself by scrolling through and organising your emails

soon enough yoongi’s door opens and he steps out and woW

he looks so dreamy

he fixed his hair and you’re pretty sure he changed into another shirt because this one has no wrinkles

yoongi adjusts his cufflinks before patting himself down to check for his phone and wallet

and before you can help yourself

“you look handsome, mr min.” you immediately look away when yoongi turns to look at you and you’re like hMMm let me take a look at this sticky note that only has a smiley face doodled on it

a small smile tugs at yoongi’s lips when he sees your cheeks warm a little

god u r so ADOrable

no

no! he scolds himself and reminds himself that dating someone you work with never ends well

he has to get over this stupid little crush of his and lisa is the perfect distraction

maybe he’ll end up really reaLLy liking lisa and then he won’t have to worry about you anymore

yep

that’s a good plan

“buy yourself some dinner. i’ll see you later.” yoongi tosses a couple crumpled up bills onto the counter and then he gestures to the hallway and then he’s off

you watch wistfully as he makes his way down the hallway

lisa’s one lucky girl

the next couple of hours really give you some alone time to reflect on what’s happening

let’s see

you like yoongi

a loT more than you thought you did

and he doesn’t feel the same way

nothing ever works out for you in the world of ~romance~

even in high school and college

no one was ever interested in u

and when you thought someone was interested they were actually just being nice to you

of course after you graduated things were a little different

you used tinder and ended up losing your virginity to this guy you’d texted for like a month

he came after like two strokes and then kicked you out of his place and that’s the most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you

great

you’re going to die alone

you groan and pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration

save the tears for home save the tears for home

you’re rarely at the office alone at night

usually there are other people on the level but tonight it’s just you

you would be creeped out but you’re too busy pitying yourself to be scared of any ghosts or demons potentially haunting the building

you finished work earlier than you thought you would and you were tempted to leave because you have nothing else to do but you told yoongi you’d be here

maybe he’ll give you a small raise for being such a loyal secretary

you just finished your dinner (fish tacos and french fries from the food truck across the street) and you’re just aimlessly scrolling through your facebook feed

it’s about 8:15 when you hear the faint ding of the elevator and you perk up

and then you hear yoongi

you recognise the sound of his walk

why did he come back so soon his meeting isn’t for like another hour and a bit

you get up from your chair and straighten yourself out and look up as yoongi approaches your desk

“back so soon?? it’s only- oh my goD” yoongi’s grumbling to himself while dabbing at his shirt that has a huge splatter of wine on it

yikEs

no wonder he’s back

it’s fine you’ll get him another shirt and he’ll head back to the restaurant

how did he pour sO much wine on himself

“i’ll get you another shirt, boss”

you immediately go into his office and grab a crisp shirt for him from his little closet

you walk out and

oh sweet baby jesus

you squeak and instinctively cover your eyes as your cheeks flush because

yoongi is shirtless

“sorry, i just wanted to get as much of it out as possible” yoongi’s not looking at you but that’s good because now you’re basically gawking at him

he has his shirt on your desk and is rubbing pretty hard at the purple stain

he’s kind of bent over and you can see his bicep flex every time he wipes

and o hl o r d

his back muscles,,,,,,,,,,,

“are you, um, is lisa waiting for you at the restaurant? did you just come back to change?”

yoongi pauses

“she went home. the date didn’t work out. there was no spark. the meeting is more important anyways” he grumbles before getting up and looking down at the shirt

“what- you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to but what… happened on the date?”

yoongi sighs as he slips into his shirt and you’re about to apologise because it’s really none of your business but then he speaks up

“i don’t wanna get too into it, but the gist of it is that she kinda just wanted me for my money and then when i accused her of that she threw her wine all over me” he shrugs as if that’s the most casual thing to happen ever

oh dang

that’s rough

that sucks!!!! lisa sucks!!!!! what sane person would be perfectly fine taking advantage of someone like that??

(you hated lisa the moment you met her)

“oh… i’m sorry, that sucks” is all you can manage because you’ve never been good with comforting people “if it… makes you feel any better i think her sandwiches are put together pretty sloppily i mean i could probably make better sandwiches with my feet”

that gets a laugh out of yoongi and he shakes his head

“yeaH i’m definitely going to take a break from sandwiches for a while”

he buttons his shirt up and fixes the collar before he moves past you and into his office

meanwhile you fold up his stained shirt and tuck it into your purse so that you can drop it off at the dry cleaners tomorrow

you figure you’d give yoongi a little alone time

you want to comfort him but you don’t know how

so you distract yourself by making a cup of coffee since it’s already pretty late

“you want a cup of coffee? i made extra” you poke your head into yoongi’s office and raise your brow when you see he’s not sitting at his desk

“i could use some caffeine.” yoongi’s standing at his closet and is currently trying to tie his tie but his fingers are not cooperating with him and he’s clearly struggling

you’re about to go and get his coffee but then you hear him mumbling about how dumb ties are and you can’t help it you need to help him out

“here, let me,” you click over to yoongi and slip in between him and the mirror before reaching up to fix his tie

he stares down at you as you wrap the blade around the tail of the tie and a fond smile twitches at his lips

there’s something different about you but he can’t point out what it is

your brows are knitted together in intense concentration and

wow you’re cute

“once around…” you mumble to yourself and pause, tilting your head in confusion

that doesn’t look right

“oh, wait. twice! twice around, sorry” you adjust the tie slightly and make sure it’s not so tight so that’s it’s cutting off his breathing lol

“twice around…” yoongi breathes out and his head lowers a little when you yank on the tie gently to tighten it

your eyes flicker up and your cheeks immediately flush when you realise how close you are to yoongi right now

you’re basically pressed up against the mirror and you’d only have to take like half a step closer and your nose would be touching his

you don’t know what it is but you find yourself tugging on his tie and pulling him down so that you can press your lips against his

yoongi’s eyes widen in surprise but his lips are moving on their own accord

and for the first time evER

yoongi’s heart flutters in his chest

he’s never felt this way before

not even with lisa

your lips are so unbelievably soft

yoongi can taste the strawberry chapstick that he sees you apply all the time and he can’t help but suck your bottom lip in between his teeth

and when you let out a little moan of his name his hands itch to pull you closer because god daMn…

and then it hits you

you’re kissing yoongi

you’re kissing your boss

you’re not just kissing him you guys are fully making out

RED ALERT

what the hELL R U DOING

you immediately pull away and you are just,,, mortified

just because u haven’t gotten laid in like idk 8 months doesn’t mean you can go around KISSING anyone you like

get your hormones in check girl!!!!!!

this is not the way to comfort someone!!!!!!!

“oh shit- that wasn’t- i’m so sorry, i, uh- i don’t know why i did that but-“ yoongi’s about to speak up to calm you down and tell you it’s okay but then the skype ringtone echoes from his desk and the two of you are reminded that he has a very important conference call “okay, i’ll be out there, um, have fun??” you bolt out of the room and shut the door behind you and uGHHHH

for about forty minutes you’re just stewing in your own humiliation as yoongi takes his call

meanwhile yoongi can barely focus on what he’s talking about because all he can think about are your lips and how sweet you taste

you realise you’ve spent the last ten minutes just staring at a blank word document because all you can think about it WHY DID I DO THAT

you hear yoongi saying goodbye to whoever he’s talking to and you slap your face gently a couple times to snap out of it

maybe you can just act casual about it

haha yeah bro we just kissed but it’s fine it’s totally normal i kiss jimiN all the time

okay that’s not a very good approach to the situation

you don’t get a chance to come up with another brilliant solution because yoongi’s office door opens and he steps out before switching the lights off and tucking his phone and wallet into his back pocket

“c’mon, i’ll drive you home”

wha,,,, you don’t think you can survive a car ride home with yoongi because you’re still mortified about what happened

and he’s not bringing it up either so maybe he just wants to forget about it too

“oh, no, it’s alright! i can take the bus home”

“it’s a little past midnight it’s not safe. don’t be stubborn.”

“i’m not being stubborn! seriously, it’s fine” you wave him off before pointing to your laptop “i have some work to do anyway”

yoongi bends down to look at your screen and raises an eyebrow

“this is an empty word document.” he stands back up and looks down at you before nodding his head over to the hallway “pack up your stuff that’s an order.” he switches your desk lamp off for you before he’s walking towards the elevators and well you don’t have a choice now so

you shove everything into your bag and grab your cardigan off the back of your chair before quickly jogging over to the lift

the two of you step in and you’re standing so close that your arms are pressed together

but neither of you seem to be moving away

interesting

the two of you stare up at the little screen showing the descending floor numbers

“i’m perfectly capable of taking myself home”

“i’m aware”

“so i’ll just take the bus then?”

“nope”

“mr min “

“yoongi. it’s after hours. you can call me yoongi, y/n.”

((his name is cute to you for some reason))

“yoOngi. i don’t want to inconvenience you, sir. my place is like a twenty-minute drive away and your penthouse is like five minutes “

“it’s not an inconvenience. come.” you figure there’s no use trying to argue with yoongi

he pretty much always gets his way no matter what

maybe that’s why he’s so rich

you trail behind him and he unlocks his car (it’s a sleek black range rover!!!!!!!!!) and he gets into the driver’s seat while you slip into the passenger seat

“are you sure about this, yoongi? i feel bad because you’ve already had a bad night like don’t feel obligated to drive me home because i helped you tie your-“

“i’m literally not even listening to you right now” the engine purrs to life and yoongi pulls out of his spot

he has his sleeves rolled up and his tie is loosened and his hair is kind of messy probably from him running his hand through it (a nervous habit you’ve noticed he has)

…..god he looks sexy

it’s also pretty late and his voice has gotten slightly raspy and is like an octave lower

your mind wanders and you find yourself wondering what he’d sound like while

omg get urself together

you’re tempted to just not say anything for the entire duration of the ride and just let the radio do the talking but

“…so you really don’t know how to tie your own tie?” yoongi smiles at your question as he keeps his eyes on the road

“it’s too much effort, tying a tie. that’s why most of mine are those clip-on ones” he admits and your mouth drops because LoL you have this professional ceo who terrifies everyone and he uses lil clip-on ties like a little boy

“clip-on ties??? omG that’s so adorable you’re so cute” you blurt out as you laugh at him and yoongi glances over at you for a second before he shakes his head and laughs along

the rest of the ride to your place consists of you sharing funny stories and yoongi mostly listening and focusing on driving but he laughs a lot and you feel good because you think you’re making him feel better about the she who shall not be named situation

((lisa doesn’t deserve him anyways))

lisa is the last thing on yoongi’s mind because of you

:-))

he never really liked those sandwiches anywho

you feel kinda sad when he rolls up to the front of your building because you guys were having such a nice time

like you’ve literally never been so casual with yoongi before

you like spending time with him

…you like him.

that was probably pretty obvious considering you kissed him

he hasn’t brought it up,,,,,, which is kind of concerning but

knowing yoongi he’s acting professional about it

“thanks for the ride, yoongs.” the nickname slips out accidentally and you look up to make sure he’s not like disgUSted with the new nickname you’ve given him

“c’mon, i’ll walk you to the door”

he gets out of the car before you can protest

you hop out and shut the door behind you and he locks the car

“thanks for everything, by the way. i enjoyed your company tonight.” yoongi murmurs and in the dim streetlights you can see his cheeks go a little pink

“i know. i’m amazing company, what can i say?” you joke and yoongi rolls his eyes because of coUrse you would say something like that “i hope i made you feel a little better.”

“you did” the two of you stop in front of the entrance and you turn to face each other

“good! that’s good. well,,,,goodnight, boss” you’re about to zip right into the building but you’re stopped by yoongi tugging on your wrist causing you to spin around and all of a sudden you feel yoongi press the ~softest~ kiss to your cheek

aaAHHHHHHHHHHHH

“goodnight, y/n.” yoongi smiles kindly at you and you beam at him with pink cheeks before you nod and go inside

you can feel his gaze on you as you wait for the lift and you’re bouncing on your toes for some reason

you feel super jittery and you want to scream so loudly but it’s like 2am lol

the next morning you have a pep in your step and jimin’s like omg slow down i know you’re happy about the whole yoongi thing but i have short legs!!!!!!

your arm is linked with his and you’re basically dragging him down the street so you slow down and you’re like sorry i’m just,,,,, really happy,,,,,

jimin lets you get away with it because he knows you haven’t gotten some romantic action in a while

and suddenly your happiness is replaced by nervousness the moment you see yoongi

jimin yelps when you duck behind the corner and yank him with you

you listen for the ‘ding’ and you peek out from behind the corner to make sure the elevator doors have closed

“what was that????”

“i….,.,, i don’t know!!!” you snap and walk over to the lifts and push the up button quickly

“i thought you and yoongi had a greAT time yesterday so why’d you basically piss yourself when “

“i don’T KNOW STOP YELLING AT ME”

jimin takes that as a hint to stop and the elevator ride up is silent

you’re so flustered you forget to blow jimin an air kiss and he’s like okay now i look like boo boo the fOOL blowing a kiss to nobody

you plop down on your chair and put your purse under your desk and let out a breath

okay

whatever that panic attack was

it can’t happen again

how are you supposed to act around yoongi now??

you kissed him

he kissed your cheek

you guys had a great time

should you act more casual around him???

maybe you should ask him if he wants to go out for lunch

or is that too much too soon

oh god

“good morning, miss y/l/n.” you jump when yoongi walks past you and into his office

“good- hi, good morning boss!!!” you say a little too enthusiastically and you clear your throat

you stand up and clutch your iPad to your chest and waddle into his office

you curse to yourself and lean down to adjust your heels

“you surprisingly don’t have any meetings today but you do have to look over the rewritten company policies after that- um, incident that happened on the 45th floor and the financial precinct”

“okay. what’s for lunch today?”

“what’s for-“ oh no you weren’t prepared for this what’S THE PLAN Y/N WHAT’S THE PLAN “lunch is… with me. you’re having lunch with me.” is what you blurt out and you press your lips together when yoongi looks up from his phone and gives you this…. look  

“unless you… unless you want a… sandwich or something i “

“where are we eating lunch?”

oh okay he wants to eat lunch with you that’s a good sign

“i’ll get some takeout for us? there’s a really good sushi place a couple blocks “

“okay. you can use my card. i like the spicy tuna rolls with those crunchy bits sprinkled on top.”

“okay! okay okay that’s- yes, those ones are nice. how does lunch at 12:30 sound?”

“mm.” yoongi scribbles something on a post-it note and you take that as a hint to get the heck out

you shut the door behind you

okay

so is yesterday just going to be an unspoken thing

fine

you can do that

whatever

keeping it casual

you can keep it casual

you’re as cool as a cucumber

you’re as cool as the sunglasses guy emoji

B-)

coolcoolcoolcoolcool

jimin pouts a little when you tell him you’re not joining him for lunch but when you say you have a lil sushi date with yoongi he’s like……. hmmmmmmm okay i’ll get over it :-))))))))

the sushi place is a couple blocks away

and to get there you have to pass by the sandwich place which isn’t a big deal

and when you get there you’re about to just keep walking because who cares about sandwiches anymore but

well you can’t help yourself

:-)

you walk in and lisa looks surprised to see you

“lisa.” you smile at her and then look down at the display case

“y/n! i, um, hi. hey. what can i get for you?” she scratches the back of her neck and can’t seem to keep eye contact with you

in fact she seems to be a little scared

now you know how yoongi feels

being powerful…… makes you feel niCe

“i’m in the mood for… a nice, hot cup of tea.” lisa nods quickly and punches a couple buttons on the cash register

“english breakfast or green?”

“english breakfast, please.” you hum and rummage through your purse for your wallet and hand her a couple of coins and then you go over and wait for it on the side

but you’re not just here to get a cup of tea

oh nonoOonononono

“y/n, here’s your tea!” lisa chirps happily and hands you your cup of tea with a smile

“thank you,” you take a tiny sip and then purse your lips and lisa’s like !!! what’s wrong??

“oof, i hate to do this.” you sigh and shake your head “but could you add a little more cream and a sprinkle of go fuck yourself?”

“sure i’ll just-wait w-what?” lisa looks up at you with wide eyes and you stare blankly at her

“…a little more cream and sugar?”

you hand her your cup and she nods quickly and adds in a splash of cream and even stirs it for you the polite little thing

“h-here you go, y/n”

“thanks lisa.” you begin walking away but you turn back to look over your shoulder “have a wonderful, gold-digging day!”

lisa grows pale

you dump the tea into the bin the moment you leave the sandwich place and head straight for the sushi place

you give yourself a high five for avenging yoongi in your own twisted way

“i’m bAck and i’m ready to eaT” you shut the door behind you as you enter yoongi’s office and frown when you see him typing an obviously angry email

now the past y/n would’ve immediately excused herself and then leave the room but for some reason you feel like,,,, you’re the one holding the power

maybe you’re still on a high from your encounter with lisa

so instead of being like oH i’ll just come back in a sec you stroll over and shut yoongi’s laptop and then hand him a pair of chopsticks

“i was in the middle of something.” his eyebrows knit together and he’s about to open up his laptop but you use the chopsticks to gently whack his hand and he flinches

“i’m aware” you wave the chopsticks in front of yoongi and he sighs and takes it “but the only thing you had today was half a cup of coffee. so we’re going to eat and then maYbe i’ll let you get back to work”

you take a seat and proceed to take the takeaway containers out of the flimsy plastic bag and yoongi’s just sitting there like since when did you become so,,,,, bold

“a spicy tuna roll with the crunchy tempura bits on top for you and a dragon roll for meEE” yoongi perks up when you pop open the lid of your styrofoam box

damn

your roll looks rly good

he looks down at his own spicy tuna roll

sure he likes spicy tuna but he’s not in the mood for raw fish today

hm

“what’s in your roll?” yoongi raises an eyebrow when he sees that you’ve already shoved a roll into your mouth

the way your cheeks are filled resembles a chipmunk and he waits patiently for you to chew and swallow

“nice to see that you’ve got the eating abilities of a three-year-old toddler”

you roll your eyes and ignore his comment

“it’s tempura shrimp and cucumber on the inside and then avocado on top with a drizzle of spicy mayo i think” you pick up a sliver of ginger and pop it into your mouth and chew thoughtfully

meanwhile yoongi takes half a bite of one of his rolls and decides he’s over it

it’s good but it’s not tempura shrimp and cucumber with avocado on top and a drizzle of spicy mayo

“you forgot to shut the door.” yoongi uses his chopsticks to point over your shoulder and you immediately turn around and get up

didn’t you shut the door when you came in??

once your back is turned yoongi reaches over and snags one of your rolls before shoving it into his mouth

holy shit

this is SO GOOD

when you walk over the door… is closed

“the door wasn’t open” you walk back over and take a seat

yoongi swallows his bite and shrugs “sorry, my bad.”

okay he was originally just going to eat one and be done with it but he wants another one

“is that your phone ringing outside?” yoongi stops eating and leans forward a little bit as if listening to something

you turn back again and look at the door and try to hear for your ringtone

“i don’t hear anything”

“you don’t??” yoongi grabs another roll from your box and shoves it into his mouth

“do you think i’m going deaf or something because i seriously can’t hear a thing” you turn back just in time to see yoongi shoving one of yOUR rolls into his mouth

“did you just-“ yoongi wipes a dot of mayo off from the corner of his mouth and then swallows

you look down at your roll and count in your head

you only ate 1

but 3 of them are missing

omg

you look up at yoongi slowly and he takes a sip of water

“…yOU!!! you THIEF!!!! that’s not fair now you have to give me two of yours so we’re even” you reach over with your chopsticks and gawk at yoongi when he blocks your chopsticks with his own

“you don’t have any proof”

“i saw you with my own eyes yoONGI”

next thing you know the two of you are fighting with your chopsticks and using them like swords

it’s when a droplet of soy sauce almost stains yoongi’s dress shirt that he stops whacking his chopsticks with yours and holds a hand out to stop you

“tell you what-“ he leans forward as if negotiating some sort of business deal “you give me your dragon roll.” and then he doesn’t say anything else

“…and???”

“that’s it. you just give me your dragon roll.” the playful glint in yoongi’s eyes tells you he’s just kidding but you can’t help but scowl at him anyways

“you’re a lousy negotiator how the hell’d you become a ceo??” you end up sacrificing your dragon roll and yoongi gives you his spicy tuna roll which honestly is also pretty good

at the end it’s worth it to see yoongi humming happily as he chews thoughtfully

he’s so cute uWu

yoongi, to put it bluntly

is completely and utterly fucked 

he like

kind of wants to bring up what happened between you two

but he also doesn’t know how

because he’s never been in thiS kind of situation before

so the kiss is kind of just a thing that’s been hanging in the air but the two of you act like nothing happened

uGh

all this relationship drama makes him feel like he’s in high school again

he just!!!!!!! wants to do something!!!!!!!! but he doesn’t know what to do!!!!!!!!

so when yoongi gets an email about the yearly company gala

a lightbulb appears above his head

“y/n i need you in my office” yoongi walks past your desk and into his office and you quickly spoon the rest of your rice into your mouth before wiping your mouth with the back of your hand and going in

“what’s up? um, i mean- what can i help you with?” you clear your throat and lick over your teeth in case there’s any food stuck in between your teeth

yoongi sits down and leans back against his chair while keeping his eyes on you

“you’re coming with me to the gala tomorrow night”

oh what

you squint your eyes slightly and wait for him to be like lolz just kidding get back to work

but he never does that

you’ve never been to a company gala before

your old boss had a wife so it’s not like he had to ask you to accompany him

“you- me? you want me to come with you to the “

“we’ll leave after work tomorrow, so make sure you bring something nice to change into.” yoongi’s flipping through some papers on his desk and he reaches up to lick his finger before swiping to the next page

“sir, you don’t think it’s a little bit-“ your phone rings outside and you turn to look at the door before looking back at yoongi “-it’s a little bit weird for you to be showing up with your secreta-“

“go and pick up the phone. might be an important call.”

okay well

apparently you’re going to a gala now

tomorrow comes a lot sooner than you thought it would because the next thing you know work is over and you’re changing in the disabled washroom with jimin as your lovely assistant

“c’mon, suck it in” jimin grits his teeth as he tugs at the zipper of your dress “i told you to go for that blue one”

it’s a little black dress

off the shoulder

sweetheart neckline

it ends a little above your knees

“but i’ve never worn this dress before and i wanted to take it out for a spin!!” you wiggle your hips to try and help jimin and he lets out a breath of relief when he finally gets the zipper to zip up in one smooth movement

now you know why you’ve never worn this dress before

it’s so damn tiGHt

well honestly it’s not that bad but it’s just,, tighter than things you usually wear

at least your boobs look perkier

“if you bend down, this thing is going to bust open” jimin snorts and bends down to help you into your heels and he scowls when you put your hand on top of his head to keep yourself from toppling over

“how does it look?”

“it looks good, you look sexy” and sure you’re just friends with jimin but that comment gets your cheeks to flush a little bit and you can’t help but bite back with a “keep it in your pants, park” and he raises his hands in defence

“alright, you go and enjoy yourself at a fancy ball while i go home and pig out in front of the TV” jimin sighs dramatically and you laugh but give him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving the washroom

you keep your eyes down as you click past the cubicles because you can feel everyone just staring at you and you hear jimin go like “i know her ass looks good but keep talking about her like that and i’ll knock u out” in the distance

you knock on the door to yoongi’s office and let yourself in and

wOOF

you see yoongi wear suits everyday but for some reason tonight he looks ten times more expensive

his hair is styled to perfection

his lips look extra pouty and when he licks over his bottom lip and moistens it you audibly swallow

there isn’t even one wrinkle on his shirt

not only does he look sexy he also smELLS sexy

the entire room just smells like yoongi

he’s on the phone and is scribbling something down so he doesn’t notice you yet

“yes, i hope to hear from you soon.” he has his phone sandwiched in between his shoulder and his ear as he adjusts his cufflinks and woW you are totally heart eyes emoji right now “take care.” he hangs up and gets up from his seat while looking for his keys “ready to go?”

“yep! let’s get a move on because i don’t know how long my feet are going to last in these heels”

yoongi’s hand stops searching and his eyes flicker to your heels and then his eyes slowly trail up your legs and the rest of your body

holy

sh…it

“you clean up nicely” is all he can say because words cannot describe,,, how sexy you look to him right now

okay calm down yoongi find ur keys don’t gawk at ur secretary

he finds his keys and tucks them into his back pocket but then he’s like oH hold on before i forget come here

and he rummages through his bag and pulls out a velvet box from fuckign cartier

“this is for you. for tonight.” he opens it and your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets at the sight of this gorgeous diamond necklace and you don’t even get a chance to protest before yoongi’s taking it out and moving behind you to help you clasp it on

you reach up and pinch the diamond charm between your fingers and then you turn to look at him over your shoulder and you’re like yoongi i can’t just accept a diamond necklace from u

“fine i’ll take it out of your paycheque”

“yOONgI”

“i’m kidding i’m kidding c’mon let’s go”

the car ride there consists of you humming and bopping along to whatever song is playing on the radio

yoongi calls you out on not knowing the lyrics and you’re like u know whAt i could just leave you at this gala thing and go home

“then i’ll fire you”

“you’re mean”

“i’ve been called worse.”

“by who??”

“by yoU”

lolz

when you guys get to the gala

all you can say is woW because WOW

you’re parked across the street from this huGe mansion that literally looks like the white house

“a bug is going to fly into your mouth if you keep gawking like that” yoongi places a hand on the small of your back and walks you across the street and you feel all tingLy

“are you kidding me yoongi do you sEE this place it’s HUGE”

“there are like 1000 people here of course it’s huge”

welp

that just adds to your anxiety

you clutch your purse tightly when you see some very veRy fancy looking people walk past you and into the building

you really don’t belong here

and it seems like yoongi can read your mind

“don’t worry, y/n. i’ll be glued to your side all night.”

“and why is that?”

“so i can make sure you don’t accidentally knock something expensive over.” the two of you make your way up the stairs and your feet are already beginning to throb from your stilettos

“you know what i’m not thAt clumsy” right as you finish saying that you stumble a little over your heels and yoongi’s grip around your waist immediately tightens

“…you were saying?”

you clear your throat and grab his arm and drag him into the building

this is…. this interior looks like it was ripped straight out of some kind of fairytale

huge glass chandeliers

marble columns

waiters and waitresses evErywhere

their uniforms look more expensive than your entire existence

and then you spot it

the f o o d table

“oh my god i see tiny baby sandwiches” you gasp and immediately head for the sandwiches and but yoongi grabs your wrist and tugs you backwards “whAt are you doing i’m so hungry i’m going to eat like 100 of those let me gO- “

“mr min! it’s so nice to see you!” you shut up immediately when the two of you are approached by an older looking couple and you put on your polite smile

“mr lee. it’s nice to see you again.” yoongi gives him a firm handshake and then turns to his wife “mrs lee- looking lovely, as per usual.”

“still charming, i see!” and you’re tempted to be like lol yooNgi??? charming??? wheRE

“and who’s this lovely lady?” the man smiles at you and you’re like whoops time to introduce myself

“oh, i’m y/n! i’m mr min’s secreta-“

“date. she’s my date.” yoongi wraps an arm around your waist and draws you in nice and close and you’re like ! ? ! ?

y/n.exe has stopped working

okay okay coolcoolcool keep it casual nice and casual

anyways you shake the guy's hand and you shake his wife’s hand too and offer her a smile

“gorgeous necklace! who gave it to you?”

well

time to keep it casual

“yoongi did!” you pat his chest gently “he knows i have expensive taste even though i’m only worth like 50 cents and a pack of instant ramen.” everyone laughs and yoongi laughs along too but he’s not really focused because he’s just so,,, entranced by you

you’re so unbelievably charming and witty

and god you look good tonight

you look like a million bucks even though you told him you got your dress for 70% off the original price

“could you excuse us for a second? i need some alcohol in my system otherwise i don’t know if i’ll be able to survive tonight.” you excuse yourself and yoongi from the couple and link your arm with his and now he’s like ! ? ! ?

“buddy system, yoongi. you can’t lose me in this crowd otherwise you’ll have to find a new secretary.”

“i don’t see the problem with that.” he earns a slap on the arm for that comment and he can’t help but smile at the way you scowl at him

you hand yoongi a flute of champagne and pick one up for yourself and the two of you clink glasses before taking a sip

ahHhHHHH

this shit tastes frickin expensive

it’s like liquid gold

you’d drink the whole bottle if alcohol poisoning wasn’t a thing

“you should take me to more of these things” you hum and take another sip before wiping off a bit of your lip gloss staining the rim of the glass

“and why is that?”

“not only am i greAt at charming people i also happen to really really like champagne” you tsk and yoongi laughs lightly

“charming people? ah, yes. as proven by what you said when we first met.” 

“okay but if you weren’T min yoongi and you were some other person you totally would’ve thought what i said was charming”

“touché.”

the two of you spend the next half an hour just talking to each other

you’re having such a good time

yoongi’s a great person to talk to and with every passing minute you find your fondness of him growing and growing

you

are

so

whiPPEd

and with alcohol running through your veins you feel,,, a tad more confident

the buzz makes you feel giDDY

so you reach over and fix a strand of yoongi’s hair “i didn’t know this was a date, by the way.”

yoongi’s not surprised that you’re touchy when you’re tipsy

“what are you talking about?”

“i thought i was here as your secretary!!!!”

“you’ve never been on a date before and i’m a good samaritan who loves giving to charities”

“wha- i’VE BEEN on a dATE BEFore!!!” you scowl and yoongi rolls his eyes playfully “okay well it was more like a hangout with a bunch of friends but i really liked the guy and i think he liked me back and you know what he sat next to me when we were watching a movie so-“

“you don’t have to come up with a crazy story to try and convince me that you’ve gone on a date - this is your first date, and it’s with me.” he shrugs and downs the rest of his champagne “i have to go and talk to someone, will you be alright alone?”

“why can’t i come with you?” you whine and lean against yoongi a little and you’re a little too tipsy to notice his cheeks flare up

“because they’re all going to look at you like a piece of meat and i’d rather that didn’t happen.” you look over your shoulder and see a round table with a bunch of older men

your heart feels a lil fuzzy at the realisation that yoongi is,,, being very very protective of u

hm

yoongi hands you another flute of champagne and sets your empty glass down “you’ll be fine in the VIP section just enjoy the drinks and don’T move from this spot”

“but i don’t wanna stand here-“

“i’ll only be like 10 minutes, you whiney baby. here-” when you open your mouth to speak he pops an olive puff into your mouth and then pats your cheek and slips past you

you want to pout but it’s hard doing that when there’s foOd in your mouth so you just watch yoongi as he walks away

of course he turns back to glance at you and gives you a warning look that says if you move from ur spot i’ll shank you

you hate being alone at parties and now you’re alone at this fancy gala

so you resort to your usual solution

scrolling through your phone while standing by the food and drinks

about five minutes pass and you’re already getting bored of the tetris game you’re playing

and then you hear two voices belonging to two girls and they’re standing a little distance behind you

“you think she fucked mr min so she could come here? i bet i could’ve fucked him better.”

oh

oh hELL no

you would nEVER do something like that to get a job you’ve always believed in earning a position through hard work and determination

you want to turn your head and look at the two girls and confront them but you also want to hear what else they have to say

“oh, definitely. what a slut! fucked her way to the goddamn top. that’s how this business works when you’re desperate, i guess.”

you’re clutching your flute of champagne so tightly that your knuckles are starting to get white and you’re surprised the glass hasn’t cracked from the pressure

you can feel your entire face burning up with humiliation and you try to calm yourself by taking a sip of champagne but even good ol bubbly can’t help you

god

this was a mistake

you should have turned down yoongi

“the point is that she doesn’t belong here. especially in the VIP section with us??”

they’re right!!!! u don’t belong here!!!!!!! you are noWhere as rich and successful as these people,,,, you’re tempted to just ditch yoongi and go home

“that dress was a choice. this isn’t a strip club, honey.”

“god, look at her necklace. there’s no way a fucking secretary could afford that shit. how many times did she suck him off for him to give it to her?” the blonde snorts to herself - and raises an eyebrow in your direction

the introduction of a third voice makes you perk up

because that voice belongs to yoongi

he stands in front of them with his hands clasped behind his back

“zero times, actually. i suggest keeping your assumptions - which are all wrong, by the way - to yourselves.” yoongi smiles and tilts his head and the two of them go pale and exchange glances before looking down at the ground

it’s almost eery how calm and composed he is when he goes “miss cho, miss pak -  i can destroy your pathetic little cupcake company with one phone call. have a good night, ladies.”

he walks over to you and you’re like >:-) when you see the security guards guiding the two girls out

“thanks for doing that”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about” yoongi downs the rest of his drink and sets it down on the table before taking your champagne and putting it down as well

“you didn’t have to be so mean about it, though”

“i still don’t know what you’re talking about.” he pauses “and yes, i did have to be mean about it. i never really enjoyed these gatherings, anyway. let’s get some ice cream.”

“don’t you still have business to tend to?” you gesture back to the table of men

yoongi shrugs “they’ll call me if they need anything”

you nod slowly and look around one last time “i thought you didn’t like sweet things though”

yoongi is very tempted to say even tho he doesn’t like sweet things he certainly likes you but

the cheesiness of it all makes his entire soul criNGE

“i can make an exception”

he google maps if there are any ice cream places near the event and luckily there’s one about a six-minute walk away

and so the two of you begin the mini trek

you should have brought your cardigan with you

you underestimated how breezy it gets late at night

yoongi obviously notices this and proceeds to take his suit jacket off before wrapping it around you

you turn and give yoongi a smile even though he’s looking straight ahead

“don’t look at me like that”

“like what?” you hum and link your arm with his and yoongi freezes for a millisecond at the contact

he grumbles something under his breath and you don’t bother asking him to repeat it

“sorry for forcing you to go to this dumb thing with me”

“it’s okay, i had fun! plus you’re treating me to an ice cream in four minutes time so that makes everything worth it”

a comfortable silence falls between the two of you

and it’s just the sound of your heels clicking against the pavement mixed in with the occasional car driving by

goD his suit jacket smells like him and it’s making you feel all woozy

when you get to the cute ice cream parlour yoongi opens the door for you like a true gentleman would and when you give him a little curtsey in thanks he can’t help but roll his eyes playfully while the tiniest of smiles tugs at the corners of his mouth

you’re adorable

and if it’s even possible you become even more adorable at the sight of the large selection of flavours of ice cream there is

“oH MY god red velvet cake ice cream??” your nose is practically pressed up against the glass and your eyes are big and sparkly

there are only like one or two other people in the parlour at this hour and yoongi’s glad because that gives the two of you at least a lil bit of privacy

he looks around a little and turns his attention back to the ice creams

“CINNAMON BUN FLAVOURED- you shouldn’t have taken me here boss the sun is going to come up before i make a decision” you shake your head and tsk and yoongi laughs at that “what flavour are you thinking of getting?”

“i was just going to get the low-fat low sugar vanilla frozen yogurt.”

“oh bOO c’mon live a little grandpa” you snort and shuffle a little to scan over the other flavours

“it’s not my fault-“ yoongi pauses and squints his eyes “-apple pie ice cream sounds like the nastiest thing in the world”

“how about you go and get us some seats and i’ll choose your flavour”

“but-“

“if you don’t like it then i’ll let you get your low-fat low-sugar low-fun stupid vanilla frozen yogurt” you negotiate and yoongi’s like okay finE i guess

he’s about to reach into his wallet but you stop him and you’re like nope it’s mY treat go and find us a booth

of course before he goes and finds the two of you a seat he makes sure to slip the cashier a couple of bills and is like i’m covering for whatever she picks out

yoongi decides to go with a lil booth in the back

just for a little more ~privacy~

and now that he has a moment to himself

oh my god what the fucK is happening to him

he doesn’t do ice cream??

he doesn’t do arm linking??

giving his jacket to someone because they’re cold??? not his thing!!!! he ALWAYS puts himself first!!!!!!

but most importantly

he doesn’t do the whole

romAnce thing

like after the whole fiasco with lisa he was like lol i’m not going to put myself through thaT again and then you came along and RUINED everything by kissing him and making his heart go boom boom because he’s finally realising that you’re just so terribly sweet and nice and kind to him even tho he’s a grade A asshole most of the time

he literally can’t get you off his mind

he thinks of you before he goes to bed ( ;-) )

he thinks of you when he wakes up

and then he sees you most hours of the day and you’re always there with a bright smile and you’re like good morning boss! and he wants to EXPLODE because gosh darn it!!!! you are so cute!!!!!!

and now he’s having a crisis because right now in this stupid ice cream parlour at 1 in the morning he is realising that he 110% has feelings for you and wants to kiss the heck out of you

“i told you it was mY treat!!!!” yoongi snaps himself out of it when you slide into the booth to sit next to him and usually yoongi would be like um,,,,, why are you sitting next to me it makes sense for u to sit across from me u idiot

he’ll.,,,,,… he can make an exception for u

ahem

you slide his cup over to him and yoongi blinks down at it

this…. multicoloured monstrosity with tiny baby marshmallows and sprinkles and chocolate syrup on top

“what flavour is this?? diabetes??” yoongi frowns and twists the cup around a couple times to look at it from all angles

“haha, very funny” you stick a spoonful of your ice cream into your mouth (u went with blueberry cheesecake flavoured ice cream) “it’s birthday cake flavoured! it’s wild but it’s not toO wild”

“you call this not too wild??” yoongi takes a small scoop “i can tell u right now i’m not going to like this because birthday cake is a cake it doesn’t belong in an ice cream” he puts it into his mouth

and you watch him as he processes the many flavours swirling around in his mouth

o shit

dis shit is gud

“well?”

“…eh” he shrugs “it’s passable”

you reach out to take his cup “i can always eat it for you and get you your froyo if you “ yoongi slaps your hand away from his cup and glares at you

and in your head you’re like lolz i toLd you so

“you wanna try some of mine?” you offer him a spoonful and yoongi takes it almost immediately

“i like mine better” he shrugs and holds a spoonful up for you “try some.”

as you’re leaning in to take the spoon into your mouth yoongi’s pulling the spoon farther and farther away from you and he feels his heart go boom boom again when you pout and go yOOooOngi pls

you hum when he finally feeds you the spoonful and you don’t even realise your hand is on his thigh and you’re practically pressed up against him

there’s a moment of silence where the two of you kind of just stare at each other

you’re about to pull away when suddenly

a cartoon exclamation mark appears at the top of your head when yoongi leans in and presses his lips against yours

you want to whine when he pulls away like a second later but you compose yourself quickly

“you had some ice cream there” yoongi clears his throat and focuses his attention back on his ice cream

you’re tempted to smother ice cream all over your face if it means yoongi will kiss you again

yoongi’s eyes widen in surprise when you lean in and plant a kiss on his cheek

“you’re cute, you know that?” you murmur and yoongi grumbles that he’S not cute but his cheeks heat up anyway

the point is

you two are now realising

that you like each other

: )))

[screams into the void]

the car ride home is spent letting the radio fill the silence

your tummies are filled with ice cream

both your hearts feel warm and fuzzy (although that’s probably from the insane amount of sugar you guys consumed earlier)

yoongi parks in front of your driveway and is like c’mon i’ll walk u over

you kind of want to invite him in?? to talk about things?? like if he kissed u that must mean he likes you back but what if he’s only doing it because he still hung up over lisa and blah bLah

but for some reason u can’t find the courage because what if it’s true,,, that he’s only using you to get over lisa…. and you’re really enjoying this little bubble that the both of you are floating in right now…..

“i, uh, i’m just going to come out and say it” the two of you are standing by the entrance

you nod slowly and wait for him to continue

oh god

here it comes

he’s going to tell u he’s not looking for anything serious and then you’re going to have to deal with your romantic feelings for him for the rest of your life

“i had a lot of fun tonight, and i… i think i like you.”

you don’t even realise you’re holding your breath but all you can say is

“you like me or you like-like me????”

okay he’s going to ignore that question

yoongi literally feels like he’s in high school again he’s far too mature for this shit

“i liked you the day we met in the elevator and you unknowingly told me how much of an asshole i am, i liked you when you whined about getting my shitty sandwiches for me, i liked you when you made fun of me for not knowing how to tie my own tie the point is i like you and i like-like you. don’t… don’t make a big deal out of this i don’t have a lot of experience with confessions like this but i just need to know if you like me back or not”

yoongi feels his body beginning to cave in on itself when you stare at him like :0

he can’t even look you straight in the eye he’s just staring at the space behind you

“this is the part where you kiss me, yoongi”

he looks at you and he swallows thickly when you take a small step forward

usually he’s the one in power but right now you definitely hold the power over him

and then it happens

he leans down in one swift movement and presses his lips against yours

this is your third kiss with yoongi and it’s your seCOnd one with him toNIGHT

at first it’s a relatively innocent kiss

nice and slow

romantic

makes your heart flutter

but of course

the two of you know exactly where this is going

you feel your tummy doing summersaults when he grabs your hips and pulls you in closer

you wrap your arms around his neck loosely and grin when you feel his tongue prodding at your bottom lip and yoongi groans in his throat when you tangle your fingers in his hair and give him a little tug

“you wanna come in for some coffee or something?” you smooth down his collar and he presses a kiss to your mouth smartly

“…one cream one sugar?” you giggle and pull him in and the two of you stumble to the elevator

yoongi’s hands are aLL over you the moment you unlock your front door

your purse and your keys end up on the floor somewhere because you’re too preoccupied making out with yoongi while he presses you up against the wall

“i’ve wanted to rip this dress off of you the moment i saw you in it” your back arches so that he can unzip the back of your dress while he’s planting kisses to your neck and your shoulders

he lets out a throaty groan when he sees the lingerie you’ve got on underneath

you felt like tonight was an appropriate night to go full bougie so you treated yourself to some ~lingerie~

thank god you did

you gasp when you feel yoongi tug at your panties and you hear a couple threads snap so you slap his hand away

“yoongi!!! this wasn’t cheap!”

“i’ll buy you a new pair, fuck, i’ll buy you ten new pairs” yoongi groans against your neck and pushes his crotch into yours and you automatically forgive him

meanwhile you’re blindly unbuttoning his shirt

articles of clothing are tossed on the floor leading a trail to your bedroom

“you gonna be a good girl for me?” the bed bounces underneath your weight as yoongi gently pushes you onto the mattress

and goD he looks like sin standing above you and loosening his tie while looking down at you with dark eyes and swollen lips

“yes, daddy”

oh,,,,,,,, o oh my god

he wants to wreck you

“naughty little thing” he purrs then leans down to kiss you while slotting himself in between your legs

and the moan you let out when he rolls his hips against yours is something he’d want to listen to for the rest of his life it was possible

and then he’s leaving a trail of wet kisses down your neck and your chest and your stomach until his head is in between your legs

the coffee can definitely wait

; )

when he wakes up the next morning he’s surprised to see your chin propped up on his chest and you have the brightest smile on your face

“you like-like me”

yoongi groans and smacks you with a pillow to shut you up but he can still hear your muffled you like likE Me biTCH

the two of you get to work an hour late because yoongi decided he wanted to strip you out of your pencil skirt the second you changed into it

and everyone’s kind of like ?? what…… the..,.,.,.,fuuuuuu when the elevator doors open and they all catch a glimpse of you adjusting yoongi’s tie and yoongi leaning down to give you a kiss

you’re not sure if yoongi wants the entire office knowing about the two of you so you move to the side to let him walk out first but he grabs you and wraps an arm around your waist and walks the two of you out

and you’re like okay i guess this is a thing now

“good… morning, boss….”

“morning, sir…!”

yoongi pauses and turns back

“good morning, everyone. i hope you’ll all work hard today.”

and then he pushes you gently and the two of you continue walking down the hallway together

oh shit

yoongi just

yoongi just said good morning back

and now everyone’s even more confused because literally whose mans is this

you push his hand back up to your hip when you feel it sliding down a little and you retaliate by pinching his bicep

yoongi smiles and pinches your hip

you turn and look over your shoulder and it looks like the entire office is staring at the two of you like they’re just crowded around the beginning of the hallway

and jimin’s in the front like THAT’S. MY. BEST. FRIEND. Y’ALL. and he blows a silent air kiss to you and you blow one right back

wow

you love life

min yoongi and y/n y/l/n

b i g  d i c k  e n e r g y

yoongi joins you on one of your morning coffee runs because you spent the night at his place so he was like i might as well get coffee with u instead of u walking over here twenty minutes after we get to work

and ah

thIS is jungkook

hm

handsome guy

he can see the appeal

“morning, kook” jungkook perks up when he sees you

you turned jungkook down one morning when he plucked up the courage to ask you if you wanted to grab dinner and see a movie sometime

he was heartbroken for like one minute but when you said goodbye and gave him a tiny kiss on the cheek and told him if yoongi was out of the picture u definitely would’ve ended up with him and he was like :-)))))

the two of you are good friends and he gives you discounts sometimes

“morning, y/n! i’m guessing you’re here for the usua……l…..” and then his eyes very slowly,,, trail over to yoongi who’s standing next to you

he can feel his fiery gaze through his sunglasses

“yep!”

“throw in a cake pop. kook.” yoongi coughs and gestures to the cake pops in the display case

jungkook almost shits himself at how intimidating yoongi is

“y-yessir. right on it… sir.”

after you pay for everything and go over to wait you turn to yoongi and you’re like stop staring at jungkook you’re scaring him

and yoongi’s just like >:-) on the inside because he loves scaring people

when jungkook hands the coffee over to you his grip around the cups are so tight you’re surprised the lids haven’t popped off them

“thanks kookie” you take the paper bag from him and shove your elbow into yoongi’s side because jungkook isn’t staring at you he’s basically staring at the counter

“yeah. thanks, kookie.” yoongi offers a smirk and jungkook’s just in a state of [E N DM YS U F F E R I N G]

you give jungkook an extra large tip to make up for yoongi’s presence

even though you and yoongi are officially together that doesn’t mean you can slack off during work

and you learn this the hard way

sometimes you and jimin are too lazy to text each other so you end up calling him

he moved to a bigger cubicle thanks to you and it’s in a more ~secluded~ area because you know he works best in privacy

“oh my god jimin the other night he fucked me so hard he nearly broke my bed like i woke up this morning and i found a crack in the headboard but honestly i don’t even care because he made me cum like three times and i am so sorry but mr min’s schedule is booked up for the next week i’m afraid i can’t slot you in until next month! yes, goodbye!” you clear your throat and hang up and look up at yoongi who is currently looking down at you with a very amused smile on his face

“…hi boss” your voice cracks and you clear your throat quickly

“miss y/l/n. who was that?”

“oh,,, just some… guy… calling about a meeting… did you…. need anything?”

yoongi shrugs and shakes his head “i’ll be in my office”

but of course

because he’s yoongi

he can’t help himself and he stops before going into his office

“i made you cum four times. if you’re going to gossip at least get the details right. tell jimin to get back to work. and i’m still waiting for the revised copy of the contract that you said you’d type up an hour ago.”

maybe u and jimin should go back to texting

“i have parts of it revised but i-“

“got distracted?” yoongi’s eyes flicker towards the phone “don’t let it happen again.”

“buT jimin was the one who-“

“don’t blame other people for your own crippling procrastination.” your cheeks burn up and you let out a huff because yoongi’s turned into an asshole boss again

“pizza at my place tonight? we’ll leave at 5.” yoongi swoops down and steals a kiss from you and you’re like hoW do you go from asshole boss yoongi to boyfriend yoongi so quickly “you’re sleeping over again, by the way.”

you cup his cheeks and keep him awkwardly bent over so you can give him another soft kiss and he hums

“you owe me a new headboard, mister” you boop his nose and he swats your hands away before standing up and adjusting his tie “the main reason why i’m sleeping over is because i’m scared that if i lie down on my bed it’ll snap in half”

“you know, you could always just move into my place, baby. i want the contract in the next ten minutes or you’re working overtime.” yoongi leaves you with that comment and goD HE’S SUCH A..,.,.,., he’S SUCH a yOONGI

even before you and yoongi got together he always stressed the importance of not disrupting any of his meetings

there are a couple exceptions like that time he told you ‘you hAve to tell me when mr kim calls’ and when you did you got in trouble for it (he apologised about that and admitted - he only did it because he liked watching you get all riled up)

yoongi cut your lunch break short because he wanted you to re organize your desk (which was something that you were going to get to aFter lunch) so yA you were feeling a little salty because you were really enjoying your noodles

and yoongi’s in the middle of a meeting right now but you just came up with another exception

:-)

yoongi’s leaning back against his chair and keeping his eyes trained on the gentlemen currently talking about the stock market and recent increases and decreases

thank god he has resting bitch face all the time otherwise it’d be obvious that yoongi was boRed out of his fuckign mind

his phone buzzes on the table and the guy falters for a second but continues to speak when yoongi waves his hand

hm

interesting

it’s a text from you that just says : )

but something that’s more interesting

there’s a picture attached to the text

it’s probably just a meme you found off your Facebook feed

he should text you and tell you to get back to work

plus the guy isn’t even paying attention to yoongi he’s too busy explaining his pie charts

so yoongi technically isn’t being thAt rude

he unlocks his phone and opens the message app and

oh god

fuck

definitely not a meme

it’s a picture of u with your top unbuttoned exposing a sexy little bralette that definitely is not appropriate work wear

he didn’t see you put that on this morning whEn did youyou must’ve changed during work no wonder you took longer than usual to come back with his coffee

yoongi swallows thickly and lowers the brightness on his screen but looks back up at the presentation

he’s looking at pie charts but all he can think about is how badly he wants you over his desk

you’re slightly concerned when you see that yoongi’s left your message on read

uhHHhhHH

maybe this was a bad idea

maybe you pushed it too far this time

you were probably going to get in a lot of trouble

you’re chewing on your nails nervously but you’re like noPe i’m not going to overthink it and you set your phone down

it feels like a million years have passed when the meeting finally ends

you peek out from behind your desk when you hear yoongi walking down the hallway

and you feel a twinge of disappointment and humiliation when he walks past you and straight into his office

and then

it happens

“miss y/l/n. i’d like to see you in my office for a second.” and he has thAt look in his eye so you know you’re in a different kind of trouble

>:-)

instead of complying ur like oOf you know what i’m kind of in the middle of something i’m sorting out your-

“that was very clearly an order and not a question” and he disappears into the office and you’re just having the time of your LIFE

yoongi ends up fucking you on his desk with your skirt bunched up to your hips and your shirt completely unbuttoned so he can see this barely there bralette for himself

and you’re pretty sure he has a thing for your heels because he makes you keep them on

he has his hands pressed flat on the desk next to your head while your legs wrap themselves around his waist

“naughty baby, sending me a picture like that in the middle of a meeting…” yoongi growls and pushes your legs down and you let out a mewl at the pure pleasure coursing through your veins “say you’re sorry and i might let you cum”

“i’m- oh, god - i-i’m not sorry, though” even when you’re getting fuCked out of your mind you’re cocky and yoongi wants to fuck that smirk off your face

he delivers a particularly hard thrust that hits you right there and makes your back arch and your eyes roll to the back of your head

“i’m sorry - what was that? didn’t hear you, princess” and then he’s hitting that spot over and over and over and ovEr again and you’re gripping onto the edge of the table so hard you’re worried you’re going to snap a chunk off

“yoOngaaH! i’m s- i’m sorry i’msorryi’msorryplease i’m s so sorry” yoongi lets his head drop and he bites down on your shoulder as you claw down his back over his shirt

“good girl.”

this is like a 200 pound mahogany desk but he’s fucking you with such fervour that it begins to tremble underneath the two of you

after your mind blowing orgasm the last thing you expect is for him to turn you around and bend you over so your chest is pressed against the desk

yoongi bends down over you and you shiver when you feel his mouth against your ear

“you’re not getting away that easily” you whimper and the next thing you know yoongi is shoving his tie into your mouth to shut you up because he knoWs how loud you get when you’re overstimulated

he doesn’t bother teasing and pushes himself all the way in and lets his head drop to your back and just lets out this gutteral grOan

when you leave his office you’re all flushed and your shirt is wrinkled and buttoned wrong but yoongi isn’t any better

his hair is a mess and his shirt is mostly unbuttoned revealing the milky expanse of his chest that’s littered with splotches of your lipstick

he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you in to plant a kiss on your cheek and then pats your bum and tells you to get back to work

one time you were going down on him and you freeze when you hear someone knock on the door so he makes you hide under his desk

it's jimin and he's like u..uh hey boss have u seen y/n?? i have to ask her to file this document for me but i haven't seen her anywhere

yoongi jolts when he feels you take him into your mouth again and he tangles his fingers in your hair when you start bobbing your head slowly

“sorry jimin, haven't seen her. come back in like... 20 minutes."

and jimin’s like okay yes sir and he shuts the door

after it’s all over jimin sEES YOU leaving yoongi’s office and he’s like oh y/n i was just looking for-

wait

but

but yoongi said he didn’t see you and

you were in his office and

your lipstick is smudg,,,,ed,,,,….., your hair.,,.,.., is kind of tousled,,, more tousled than usual…..

you and jimin are kind of having a stare off and you’re waiting for it to happen

and five seconds later it hits him

when he opens his mouth you slap a hand over it and you’re like i’ll buY YOUR LUNCH FOR THE NEXT WEEK just don’T SAY ANYTHING

jimin’s like no i don’t give a shit about you going down on him at work what i’M freaked out about is the fact that he seemed so calm and composed while you were sucking him off

min yoongi is a man of many talents and one of them is being able to hold a poker face for eternity

you unfortunately are not as talented at keeping it cool as your boyfriend

which is something he both loves and hates about you

tonight yoongi’s working late again which means that you have to stay late too

you don’t hAve to but,,,, you like to keep yoongi company and also being completely alone while he’s working forces you to actually do your damn job

“who are you calling?” yoongi steps out of his office and tugs his tie loose before rolling up his sleeves

“mr jung’s secretary- if he’s ever going to pick up the damn phone. i’m trying to reschedule your meeting with mr jung because it overlaps with your meeting with mr kim this coming thursday.” you don’t even look at yoongi when you speak and scribble something down on a post it note before sticking it on your wall calendar

“which mr kim?”

“the…” you pause to think “the one with the hair” you gesture to the top of your head

“…they both have hair”

“i know i know i’m saying this one is the one with the blonde- hi! hi, i’m miss y/l/n, secretary of mr min yoongi. i’m so sorry for calling so late into the night but i just needed to…”

he loves watching you work so hard

his little busy bee

yoongi grabs the arm of your chair and swivels you around so you’re facing him and you give him a look that says what do u want i’m busy

your eyes almost pop out of their sockets when yoongi drops to his knees and settles in between your legs

“of course, i can wait for a minute-“ the second the secretary puts you on hold you put a hand over the receiver (just in case he can still hear you) “yoongi, no!!”

“yoongi, yes.” your body automatically listens to him as he taps the side of your thigh for you to sit up a little so he can push your skirt up

“i’m on the phone, yoongi. you can’t do this right now just give me like three minutes” you hiss but your legs naturally spread for him and he just smirks up at you and is like mmmmm your body is telling me otherwise

you reach over and push the speaker button and then hang up the phone and thank god the secretary still has you on hold because you are using a range of very colourful words to scold your boyfriend

“i’ve called mr jung’s office before- his secretary puts you on hold for like ten minutes you’ll be fine” you don’t know how he does it but the next thing you know your panties are gone and your boss/boyfriend’s head is buried in between your legs

“oh goD yoongi please don’t stop” you whimper

his fingers dig into the meat of your thigh so he can keep your legs spread because you keep twiTCHINg

“hello?” you want to scream when the holding music turns off and the secretary comes back on

“yoongi stoP you have to stop” you gasp and arch your back against the chair and yoongi’s hand snakes up to push against your tummy

“pick up the phone and do your job” yoongi presses a kiss on your inner thigh before giving you a small nip and you thank the lords above he’s going to let you take this call first

yoongi leans back a little and fixes his hair

“hi, yes, hello” you’re a little breathless as you unmute yourself and you clear the throat

“i’m having a little trouble with the scheduling here. mr jung can only do thursday next week, otherwise i’ll have to pencil you in for next month.”

“he can’t do friday or anything?”

you give yoongi a warning look when he begins pressing a trail of warm kisses from the inside of your knee to your inner thigh

“i don’t think so.”

“when does his- oH” you nearly bite your tongue off when yoongi suddenly attaches his mouth to your clit and your fingers immediately tangle themselves in his hair

“sorry, what was that? didn’t catch you.”

“his- whendoeshislastmeetingonthursdayend??”

“uh.. hold on, let me check here…”

you bite down on the inside of your cheek and your head flops back against your chair as you focus on the ceiling and try your hardest not to moan

yoongi can’t help but smirk when the smallest of whimpers slips past your lips

it’s when hE lets out a low moan against you that you gasp loudly and your toes curl in your heels

“his last meeting ends at 6:30 that day how about mr min?”

“five forty fiVE” yoongi throws one of your legs over his shoulder and oh my goD you want to die this feels amazing and you can’t make any sounds and your body is currently telling you that hEY i’M ABOUT TO HAVE AN ORGASM

so that puts you in a panic because there’s no way you’re going to cum and have a normal conversation with a stranger so “you know what give me five minutes to reorganise mr min’s schedule and i’ll call you right back”

you hang up the call and the next thing you know you’re seeing stars and yoongi’s name keeps slipping past your lips in the form of whimpers and moans and yoongi is just soaking it aLL up

“that was a close call, no?” yoongi looks up at you from in between your legs and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand

“i hate you.”

[fuck-customers]

Fuck you, Food On Save

You don't pay me enough to deal with your garbage management, piss poor workers, shit show scheduling, and lack of safety equipment.

The bare bone minimum wage and not having to take a bus to work isn't enough to make me tolerate the fact that so many people and management who have been countlessly warned to stay in their department's lane and then just won't.

It's not enough to make want to work a shift I have basically not been trained on properly because now I'm on the deli department's shit list of angry menopausal boomers that use their seniority to spout racist garbage and then not be discipline or face consequences and are spreading rumours about me.

It's not enough to pick up the passive aggressive bullying little slackers end of the job. You think -THINK, but aren't sure that you may have sprained your ankle at work a week ago or two? -so there's a loose fitting wrap on your foot and you won't go see a doctor and you won't report to first aid.... -and that somehow makes literally everything you do go 10× slower.....and now you think you have carpal tunnel syndrome after my boyfriend has just suffered a carpal tunnel injury, but after examination your arms are fine...so...with your "sprained ankle" and "maybe" sore arm you take out the easily 150lb organics bin and stay in back for 20 minutes, then disappear to the bathroom for 15 minutes, and when you come back you tell everyone you're going on lunch which you come back 5 minutes late from. And in the span of all of this you try to be chummy and talk non stop to me now getting in my way of doing not only my job, but yours now too because if I don't the manager that's banned from our department will still show up to blame me for not picking up your slack and once I leave you like to tell everyone how useless I am, that I'm the bitch that just won't leave and tell my boyfriend that must be why we're still together even if he wanted to get rid of me. And then you wonder why you no one will date you or just wants you fucking gone. You're the rotten hot potato everyone wants thrown into a compactor. I can't even formally request you get taken off day shift because you literally don't do anything because the cook with piss poor timing won't give us the girl who also wants earlier shifts and ACTUALLY does her job because you can't close for shit and you distract everyone on that shift too. But suuuure, keep blankly staring at that clipboard like you have one functional brain cell while I carry the damn shift.

It's not enough to get me to stay when you don't care about my pet emergency. I never said I'd come in today, I phoned 3 and half hours before my shift to let you know I couldn't; you're the one that suggested I could maybe come in later, I didn't say yes. I have to keep an eye on my fur baby, my best buddy, my kitten -incase I have to take a damn taxi to an emergency vet at a moments notice. No I couldn't have switched shifts with my boyfriend, there's still 2 hours she's left alone and I need to update my vet on how she's doing. You should have gotten a damn shift replacement while it was viable or worked in the department yourself. And to top that off you don't even pay me enough to make sure I can pay for my cats medical bill.

It's not enough to get me to stay when I'm waiting 6 damn months until I have medical coverage and both my boyfriend and I have suffered work injuries. Mine is due to a second degree steam burn because there aren't proper gloves in my department. There's instead gardening gloves, that if you get scalding water from the steamer on the back of your hand you better hope you throw that glove off quick because there's no protection. The union you have doesn't cut it either when they don't message back until 4 weeks later.

The small handful of nice people aren't enough to get me to stay. I'll miss them and I have regrets that I'm not staying for them because they're going to get hit pretty badly once my boyfriend and I are gone. It's too bad the number of people that are gossiping about me because they're sad old women who are bored and angry, but won't do anything to change how things are done outweigh the small handful of nice people.

But maybe you should've paid us more, trained us properly for our positions, hired other decent workers, and helped our department more....

[thegodgaze]

Fade to Ash

Obviously, if I had done something like that, I'd be...

I've got nothing but memories right now. There was a time when I was absorbed by the deep sorrow and concern that I had blood on my hands for the choices I would soon have to make. Choices made to abandon someone I clearly wasn't sure would be up to waking up the next morning or some morning further down the line. That potent...ground shifting fear.

"You don't sound so stressed anymore..."

Only because it's no longer this eroding anxiety, but just a pit of well-groomed sorrow. Can't even ask what's happening in the middle of a pandemic; how my questions and concerns fill up every incinerator I've got. It's not that I want to treat it like this... it's just.

- [Ozarks Spoilers] -

Got through watching the recent season of the Ozarks, and the entire story of Ben got me real weak. It made me feel like I watching Of Mice and Men for a bit, but the sympathy grew ever more for a man who was just trying to make sense of a brutal reality. No...you don't actually want to exist on the cusp of the American Dream, you don't want to actually win when the cost is having to give up your humanity. Maturity suggests that absorbing these changes and consolidating "humanity" into bite sized snacks you throw at the dog you keep around is the only way to exist proper - when actually feeling, feeling anything at all, that much is a sin punishable by death. I won't push aside the note of his mental illness, but I don’t think it actually takes away from his argument. We got to see the decline of a human being, who...just didn’t belong there. For all the most emotive cogs in the grand machine they built - his intensity brought home the fact a few hard points. Whether you found hatred for his childish demeanor, or...honestly the guy was fucking charming. Smooth as fuck, weird as fuck, but didn’t give a damn about it and stood with principle. He belonged in the house of Snell. Say what you will of that woman, this season really made her into something...different. Her house was the den of the rejected. Not the iniquitous hovel of they that damn, but a home in the middle of burning world. The Langmore clan’s exodus here was something that didn’t stick out to me until the end, but the transition has been a fascinating one. You can’t help but trust the woman in this circumstance because for all of her wild card plays you begin to realize just how much she values principle. Principle is all the Langmore’s got except...for poor Ruth. Who, given the circumstances, Ruth is portrayed as “mature”, in her dealings with Byrde, and literally everyone else in this fucking world. At first you admire her tenacity, ingenuity...and then loyalty. But that loyalty nearly got her killed. It’s now that it becomes apparent that the Byrdes might not be the people you’re rooting for, no matter how much like Jonah’s character. 

No, it’s...in this den of the principled few that I can’t help but admire. Ben...Ben got there too late. The first time he sets foot in there is his last, and he’s unsure of how to fix anything and the music played along these scenes gutted me. It was...it knew what you knew. From the start, his introduction, I was left wondering who would become the next fodder in the scene of character development - nearly as a joke, I teased the tropes but I didn’t immediately expect this one, though, to an extent, I always knew. Initially my thought is that it would’ve been about him gallantly taking out some douchebag’s life down with his own, considering his stark introduction at the school - even from then its clear just how principled he is. But what I got was...painful. I don’t always sit around to watch painful things, because usually they are presented as levels of cringe I don’t see worth in waiting around for, but this level of pain was something I couldn’t tear my eyes away from. Maybe it’s a personal thing, I can hardly know but for my skirting encounters with mental illness, I’m left adrift when it comes to Ben. 

Ben died like a child. The music let you feel that...slowly growing into a melody that wouldn’t leave. Everytime you heard it, you knew what was going on, what was growing. It was methodic pacing; Ben didn’t belong anywhere. After the fact...you almost want to hear it again, but it never fully comes back, only in pieces, only in fading as if it was memory. It got too real, I mean...frankly I’ve never known what it’s been like to lose a loved one; but for all the simulations these dramas pose, this one...was really effective. I’ve never been one to latch onto character so quickly in fiction - sure this man or woman might be exceptionally badass, but as any writer dreams, the real chalice is getting a handful of the audience’s heart strings. Sure, several tropes can tug and pull and generic excuses for conflict may work as a standard bus, but then you’ve got to get specific. Ben’s illness, specifically, is not entirely a component of his character. I feel like it’s nearly asking me to believe that’s why he had to go, but cosnidering how it’s portrayal, and very possible mismatches with reality, I feel this misdiagnosis and key character point are not at all important. His interactions with Ruth define this, and for all his cool-headed light at the start of the season and throughout his decline, he doesn’t flip out against her. The show keeps repeating that he’s dangerous, to himself, and what is seen, others as well, but not to Ruth, not directly anyway. Maybe this isn’t grounds for determining his misdiagnosis, but it is grounds for consider the way his mental capacity is treated going forward. The pills stop him from feeling. As the audience we’re confused as to what should happen. His ability to experience life as most himself endangers everything, and honestly seems like poor judgment; obviously if you’re using something to get by and stay functional, by no means is it ideal to undo for a bit of feeling - but... He’s given pills...not therapy. 

I get it, there is a lot of his story that’s off screen, but the solution to Ben is not the pills. Ben just doesn’t belong. Granted, the pills would help Ben keep himself in check, but there is no indication that he wasn’t using those pills at the school? I guess that is the implication, but going into the Byrde house, it’s clear that he’s been taking them rather regularly. No...Ben’s solution was the Snell’s abode. It was Ruth - and the show makes you feel so close to that closure, then rips it away...slowly...and that’s why it hurts. You can’t just kill off one of the kids...no, they’re not kids anymore. But this guy? Yikes. 

As if any of this is decent analysis of anything but frankly...it just...brings back memories. Many of them I don’t really want to think about. Ben didn’t belong in not just a world like the one the show presents, but...anywhere, here in the states. For the regard of central themes, that old hearty American principle is what makes you admire him and his new clan but...they don’t belong either. The mainstay of America prosperity is profit at any cost, and the Byrdes are pristine examples of that. Everyone is “protecting their family” but...that’s a lie. Too many ways out were presented, such that the entire season, I was waiting for the big reveal of him just bowing out to the feds but, they won, instead.

---

I looked at her and shuddered. Every day I peek over some platform to see...something, anything, I’m reassured that what she said about herself getting by just fine was more than true. While I am at ease, I sit down still very perturbed. Either she was lying to me for the longest time for the effect of that principle, something had changed while I was around, or it all was an unconscious attempt at keeping me still; whatever it might be, I hardly feel well about signing it off as such. It’s easier to just absorb the blame because that means I wasn’t suckered into something twice as toxic; it means that I was trying so fucking hard for a decent reason. It means that I failed, but I was not fooled. I’d much rather take that than assign villainy or that much confusion to someone I still admire, but can’t. It’s easy at a first glance to say that this “Ben” reminds me of her, but frankly...it feels more like a mirror. Being lied to or omitted at all angles for the perception of just not having it together enough to be trusted as an “Adult”. You can’t fix this Benjamin, go back to sleep; the music will fade soon enough, you’ll be fine.

[jjmichie]

Jack Irons it Out

Disclaimer:  the story below is fiction.  While inspired by real people, it is not a real account of any actual events, places, dialogues, or situations, just my imagined version of how life might have been for these guys during the Vitalogy era (although there may be some time travel in later chapters).  Also, yes, I know that in reality Stone had short hair at this point, but in my fiction world, it will always be long.  Just let me have this.  :-)   

 ***************

Chapter 1 of "Some Words When Spoken . . . “

“Whoa, guys!  Seriously?  Can we deal with this like adults?”  

Jack slammed his drum sticks down on the snare, causing an abrupt and surprisingly loud silence to fill the studio.  He looked at his new bandmates in exasperation.  “I can’t work like this.  If you two have a beef with each other, can you please just air it out so we can get on with it?”  His head turned firmly from Eddie to Stone, and then back to Eddie, leaving no question on who he meant by “you two.”  

A smattering of electrified guitar sounds, the clearing of a throat, the folding of arms, and several flips of long brown hair were the only response.  

Finally a chuckle from Jeff, who turned to Jack and nodded. “I agree,” he announced, and unstrapped his bass and set it in its stand.  He walked over to stand solidly beside Jack’s drums.  

When Eddie just continued to stare at the floor with his arms folded and Stone continued to pretend to tune his guitar, Jack stood up.  He signaled the sound guy to take five and walked out from behind his kit.  

“Can we sit for a second?  All of us.  Yes Stone, you too.”  And he led the reluctant group to the corner of the room where there was a table.  “Ok, so I’m going to take advantage of being the new guy here, and call this out.  What I’ve been observing is that, Eddie, Stone, whenever you have a –- I won’t even call it a ‘disagreement’–- literally just a difference of OPINION, you both withdraw into your respective corners and sulk.  I seriously can’t believe you’ve made it this far if this is how you deal with each other.  This isn’t how bands function.  This is totally fucked up.”  

Still no response.  

“Man, you guys are sooooo different from . . . anyway.  Ok, we can do this the easy way or the hard way.  You can either start talking to each other now and I’ll help mediate, or I’ll lock you in a room until you either work it out or beat each other up.  What’s it going to be??” 

Jack noted redness creeping into their faces, but still, Eddie and Stone’s eyes remained glued to the table, their hair flowing down over their faces. Not a word.  Jack sighed and moved to Plan B. 

“Ok, Jeff, then.  Is this your observation too?  How is this dynamic affecting you?”  

Jeff put both hands palms down on the table breathed out slowly.  A long breath.  “Oh my god.  Yes, it’s been sucking like you wouldn’t believe.  I mean, obviously a lot has changed and we’re all dealing with a lot  But, we used to at least talk to each other!  But now, it’s like, too awkward.  I feel like if I agree with Eddie on something, then I’m hurting Stone, and if I agree with Stone, I’m going to piss off Eddie.”   

Eddie raised his eyes from the table slightly as Jeff continued.  

“I’m not trying to be a dick, but Eddie, things feel strange with you now.  I mean, on the way here I stop at a convenience store and boom, there’s your face on every magazine, and every interview I give is just ‘what’s it like to work with Eddie’… you know?  and I’m sure it’s affecting you as much as anything. And I’m sorry, I know it isn’t your fault, but dude, you’ve become unapproachable.”

Eddie lowered his eyes back to the table and pursed his lips.  

“And YOU,” Jeff turned to Stone.  “We’ve known each other for so long, I can always tell when you’re in a funk, but this … is different.  You’ve become completely withdrawn, even from me.  You’ve got a wall around you right now that’s about a mile thick.”  He paused, searching for Stone to look up, to acknowledge him, to show some response.  But Stone looked away, pressing his fist against his lips.  

“Stone?” Jack prompted after an appropriate pause had passed.  “What gives, man?  What’s up with the wall?”  

Stone breathed in sharply.  The bluntness of the question caught him by surprise.  No one in the band normally confronted him like that . . . at least not lately.  Looking up, he saw that everyone at the table was staring at him.  

“I . . . “ he began, but his words trailed off.  He looked back and forth between the three of them, all staring at him, Jeff, Eddie, Jack.  Eddie’s best friend Jack.  Their unwavering stares demanding a response, an explanation, an admission, and he felt hotness flooding his cheeks. 

He turned away from them all again, looking back towards their idling instruments, as if looking for an escape.  But looking over there didn’t help.  He only saw the empty space where Mike’s guitar was supposed to be.   And the new and unfamiliar drum set . . . where Dave’s was supposed to be.  

“Oh my God why is everyone looking at ME?”  He finally blurted out, feeling his pulse quicken. “This isn’t my fault!  Why don’t you make Eddie talk first?”  He added, giving Jack the most innocent smile he could muster. 

But Jack wasn’t having it.   “Jesus Christ.  This isn’t that hard!!  Are you mad at Eddie or what?”

“No!  I just don’t feel like -- I mean -- I’m not trying to be difficult,” he glared at Jeff. “Really, I’m not.”  

“Whuh?!  I never said you were!” Jeff threw his hands up and shook his head. 

“Guys -- “ Jack cut in.  “Just try, Stone. Anything you say is better than nothing.” 

Stone continued to stare at the drums. 

Realizing they were getting nowhere, Jeff tried to push it forward.  “I mean, yeah, let’s do this.  Let’s get it out on the table.  There HAS been a change, a total shift of command, we all know it, it’s been going on for a while.  And that’s been hard to get used to.  I think we’re all just trying to figure out how to work within it – ”  

Stone straightened his back and began wrapping his hair into a scrunchie that had somehow materialized in his hand.  “Of course there’s been a shift,” he said quickly.  “I know that.  And it’s fine.  We should be more democratic, that’s not it. . . “  he caught himself.  “I mean . . . yes, it is.  Like Jeff said, it’s just taking time to get used to.” 

That worked.  Stone sat back and breathed a sigh of relief upon noticing that his explanation seemed to be placating the occupants of the table.  He kept it rolling.  

“So, no, I’m not ‘mad’ at Eddie, okay?  And even if I was.  Which I’m not.  But even if I WAS, you really think I’d be dick enough to bring it up to him?  I mean, we all see what Eddie’s going through right now.  He’s practically a prisoner.  He gets mobbed if he leaves his house.  He has guards.  He gets threats.  He can’t just, like, go for a walk, the way . . . the rest of us can.  You really think I’m going to bother him with shit like, ‘Hey Eddie, it hurts my feelings when you re-arrange my riff?’  No, I’m not going to do that!  So, sure, I go off and sulk instead,” he grinned. 

A long pause. 

“So . . . it does hurt your feelings . . . ”  Jack pressed. 

Stone stared at him in disbelief.   He opened his mouth to protest, but then just closed it again.  

But Eddie was now leaning even further across the table, his eyes reddening slightly. He looked like he wanted to lunge across the table and hug him.   

“Oh my god Stone thank you so much for saying that.  I really . . . was starting to feel like you hate me, especially after the thing with Dave.  But honestly, there’s nothing I would love more than for you to tell me stuff like that . . . “

The thing with Dave.  The thing with Dave?  That’s all it was to Eddie?  The thing . . .?  Stone felt the hotness creeping back into his cheeks. 

“. . .  and Jeff, it hurts me so much when you say I’m ‘unapproachable.’  I never wanted to be this commodity I’m becoming. The world feels so different now, and the only place where I still feel normal is right here.  In this space.  With you guys.   And if YOU all start treating me weird then . . . .”  

Stone abruptly stood up.  “Ok, then it’s settled.  From now on we won’t treat you weird.   Thanks Jack.  This whole counseling session has been super super helpful.  Group hug?”  

 “Stone . . . ” Jeff rolled his eyes.  “For fuck sake.  The whole point of this conversation is to open up and be honest with each other.  There’s obviously more going on here.  If that’s not it, then what is it?  Something is stressing the hell out of you and I wish you would just -- ”  

“Shut up!!” Stone suddenly screamed, unable to hold it in any longer.  He ripped the freshly-created pony tail out of his hair and closed his eyes.  “Just fuck off!”  Putting his hands on his head, he violently pushed the occupants of the table away from his mind, trying to conjure back the world he wanted.  The world that was familiar.  Instead of the ugly void in the rehearsal space he thought about Dave’s soft hair, flailing in time with the rhythm he always pounded out.  And a torrent of images immediately flooded his memory, the first time they met, Pike’s Market, their long talks on the bus, his voice, his smile, his laugh, his aftershave.  Anything but their last meeting.  Anything but the things Dave had said to him that day  . . 

And he needed Mike!  Dammit! 

Struggling to conceal how close he was to tears, he took a deep breath and opened his eyes again.  The group was still staring at him, but now they looked scared. Stone fixed his eyes directly on Eddie, no longer bothering to hide distress and sadness that welled up behind them.  

 “Yes, okay.  There are things that are upsetting me . . . I just don’t know where to begin.  I don’t know how to work through it.  I’m trying but I’m obviously not doing very well or we wouldn’t be having this . . . intervention.” He sunk back down into his chair.  “It’s hard to explain.  It’s like a spiral, I feel like I’m in this really dark place . . . everything feels wrong . . . . I don’t know if I can -- ”  

From across the room he suddenly felt the drums mocking him, and stopped himself.  He couldn’t do it.  He couldn’t let them know what it really was.  How bad it really was.  He had to stop.  

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this,  Not right now. It’s just too . . . raw to talk about.” He looked up at Jack, seeking his approval.  “If I try to, I know it won’t come out right and it will end up . . . going into a place where I don’t want it to go.”  The heat in his cheeks was abruptly replaced by a chill, that made his shoulders convulse involuntarily.  He swallowed hard.  “So . . . yeah.  I’ve got a wall up right now.  And . . . It’s going to be there for a while.” 

The group at the table was quiet. 

Jack finally spoke.  “Yes . . . yes!” he nodded at Stone and smiled.  “There you go.  I knew you could do it.  That’s totally cool, Stone.  Of course you don’t have to talk about it right now.  You need space!  And we can absolutely back off and give you the room you need to work through it.  Thank you for telling us - we just need to know where you’re at.  And that goes for everybody.”  Jack looked around the table.  “Otherwise, someone will misunderstand and think you’re pissed off at them, you see?”  

Stone smiled and bit his lip, feeling a swell of emotion inside his chest.  He suddenly loved Jack. The anger he felt a minute ago was subsiding.  He had his privacy back.  And the images that danced through his mind remained his own.  He looked sheepishly at Eddie and Jeff, and saw that their accusing glares had softened, and were no longer demanding anything of him.  “I’m sorry,” he tried to say to them, but his voice broke.  

Eddie’s eyes had gotten even redder, and he now did lunge forward to throw his arms around Stone.  

“You don’t have to be sorry.  I totally … know.  I’ve been in dark spaces before too and it can be  … absolute hell.”  Eddie pulled away slightly, kneeling next to him and cradling Stone’s hand between both of his. He reduced his voice to a soft whisper. “Is there . . . anything I can do to help?” 

Stone watched Eddie’s hands touching his own, amazed by the innocent sincerity that had so abruptly taken over Eddie’s whole being.  He felt himself relaxing, letting Eddie soothe him, but also knew there was no way he could truly let him inside.  “No,” he finally whispered back.     

Jack and Jeff slowly and quietly got up from the table, to let Eddie and Stone remain there alone, their hands in a gentle embrace.  They sat at the table together for a long time, as the sound guy returned to his post and the sound of drums and the low hum of bass began to envelop them.  When it finally crescendo’d into a steady pulsating groove that neither could resist any longer, they rose to their feet and went back into the rehearsal space to join their band.  

[dbhilluminate]

DBH: Illuminate- Hit and Run (part 2)

Characters: Connor-50 / Z, Dennis, Nick, Kate, Connor-51 / RK, Axl  Word Count: 5,857

Axl spots a trine of RK800's entering Detroit on a bus inbound from Belle Isle- Kate moves to tail them with the intention of finding out why they're there, but is spotted by Connor's doppelganger and forced to do something she regrets in order to escape.

( Chapter Art by triple_jays_art , Co-authored by grayorca15)

Previous Chapter

• Chapter Index • Characters •

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November 12th, 2038 This certainly wasn’t what Kate anticipated she’d be doing with her afternoon. Most days, if she wasn’t focused on any particular task, she’d spend her spare time combing the city for anything of interest, which could be defined as a variety of chores. Some days she found stray deviants in need of a hand, sometimes she’d take the opportunity to dig for information; sometimes it just meant rounding up supplies for Jericho’s ever-growing refugee population, or checking in with contacts she hadn’t spoken to in a while. But today was different. Today it was three unforeseen RK800s in disguise on a bus, inbound to the Rosa Parks terminal- or at least, that was what she’d been told. How it was even possible that a doppelgänger (let alone three) of a supposedly unique model of android was just as important a question as the why. Illuminate hadn’t exactly done anything in particular to upset the media lately, but then again, DCPD hadn’t made any significant discoveries in the deviancy case, either. And if they had more than one unit lying around unused, why wouldn’t Cyberlife send backup to hasten their progress? The last twenty hours had been anything but dull, in spite of this pressing revelation. Ill-prepared as she was for their arrival, Kate had been waist-deep in preparations for Markus’ broadcast from the Stratford Tower since she’d last spoken with Cyberlife’s resident Android liaison within DCPD the night before. Following her conversation with Connor, Kate returned to Jericho at Markus’ request to find him agonizing over what to include in his speech. Although she had specifically told him she would contact him when Illuminate was ready to brief them on the plan, his tired tone spoke volumes to what he’d really been wrestling with. Even though he’d had two days to prepare by the time she made it back, he’d gotten a whole lot of nothing accomplished in that time. Between Josh’s suggestion to take a pacifistic approach, North’s insistence that he phrase it more like a list of demands, and Simon’s ever-neutral ‘do what you feel is right’ stance, he was having a hard time hearing his own thoughts. Markus was desperate to speak with someone who could ‘see reason’- and by that, of course, he meant someone who had considered all the angles, who could see the bigger picture. She couldn’t really argue against that: as much as she liked Josh and could appreciate North’s passion, they were extremes on opposite ends of a very flammable argument, one which would undoubtedly either blow up in their faces or result in humanity slamming the door on compromise for good. What he needed was to speak with someone with a little more verbal finesse, who could hold the middle ground in an argument that held enough weight to balance the scales, but had the potential to tip them favorably when the time was right. Reluctantly, Kate agreed on the condition they give her crew one more day to finish preparations, since her visit would be taking time away from her ability to do so. While Markus had eagerly accepted her bargain, neither had anticipated just how long it would take for them to reach a consensus, in spite of how closely their opinions mirrored each other’s. For seven hours they went back and forth between lectures, debates (to which she’d played devil's advocate), and half a dozen games of chess. In the end, Markus found the message he was looking for (just the right balance of informative and ominous). But what came afterward had her seriously doubting whether he would have ever been able to pull this off, had he not had Illuminate at his aid. “I’ve been thinking about how we could get into the broadcast control room at the Stratford Tower.” “You what…?”

Kate put on a straight face, smothered the impulse to press her fingers into her eyes and sigh heavily, and humored him in spite of how asinine his suggestion that they just walk through the front door really was, when there were less conspicuous alternatives than showing every camera in the Stratford Tower their faces.

“As long as we don’t act strange and look like we belong there, no one will question our presence.” “Yeah, and I get not wanting to draw attention to yourself but still, it’s just not the best idea,” was all she could manage after a pause. Markus sighed in frustration. “Will you just… listen? Before you make your decision?” Kate had a feeling she knew how this conversation would end, but granted his wish and gestured for him to continue. “I’ll take the elevator up to the forty-seventh floor, change into a disguise as a working android-” “Stop- hang on a second,” she interjected to hold up a hand between them, as she tried to understand the thought process behind something so unnecessary. Already, he was losing her. “Why would you need to pretend to be a human… just so you could pretend to be a service Android?” “A quick change to throw off suspicion?” “But you literally just said that was the purpose of going through the front door- to not draw attention to yourself. If someone sees you enter the bathroom wearing one thing and leaving wearing something else, much less android clothing, they’ll get suspicious.” “Then we’ll just have to hope they don’t notice.” “Or, you enter through the sublevels of the tower as a working android and use prejudice to your advantage. Service androids are all over and those armbands make you invisible to humans, no one’s gonna think twice about why you’re here instead of there.” Markus paused for a moment to consider her suggestion before he nodded in agreement. “Okay… but we still need access to the server room on that floor.” “Those aren’t servers, it’s just a patch closet,” she corrected, “But you can still use them to gain access to their network.” So far, this was the first part of his plan that made logical sense. “Why do you need to get in there- to gain access to their security feed?” “No, to gain access to the window wash lifts.” Kate’s thought process came to a screeching halt, only this time she couldn’t hold back the condescending look that came as a package deal with the slow, confused blinking. “...and… why would you need access to those?” “To reach the top floor.” As much as she wanted to point out how they could just take the service elevator to do that, she held her tongue. “And... how do you expect to get out onto it?” “We cut a hole in the glass, crawl out onto the lift, and climb the cables for the other lifts-” “Markus...” The exasperated utterance of his name was a plea for him to stop in and of itself. “This is completely absurd. This isn't Mission: Impossible, and the Stratford Tower isn’t Fort Knox.” “If they see us enter the room, but don’t see us come out, they’ll assume we’re still working. No one would be the wiser to what we’re doing,” he insisted. “That’s assuming they don’t also have security cameras in the server rooms... which they will,” she reminded pointedly, “But never mind that- what then?” “From there, we cut a hole in the window of the top floor, re-enter and rendezvous with Simon and Josh-” “And how are they getting up there?” Markus hesitated to answer. Based on his reaction to the advice she’d given him as she deconstructed the first part of the plan, and the embarrassed shift of his eyes at her question, she could tell he was reconsidering. Kate lifted her brows expectantly to prod the question out of him. “... the maintenance elevator for construction.” he mumbled at last. Kate was silent for almost a full minute as she sat there processing what he’d just come back around full circle to. Disbelief painted her face as she took in a deep, calming breath, tented her fingers before her face, and covered her nose and lips to hide the annoyed twitch in her cheek. “...If you had no purpose for getting into the server room other than to gain access to the window wash lifts... and if they can get to the top floor without having to do any of what you’re suggesting… then why don’t you just save yourselves the trouble and all take the maintenance elevator?” As anticipated, Markus didn’t have an explanation ready. In his bewildered silence, she continued the train of thought. “Or better yet- take the fire escape with only a handful of security cameras in the stairwell that will take you right to the top of the tower. Why do any of this and risk getting caught doing something you shouldn’t be doing?” Markus’ eyes darted through empty air for a full minute as he searched for a reason, but sighed sheepishly and conceded her logic when he found nothing. “You’re right… I’m overthinking this.” “You’re making a very simple solution needlessly complicated,” she agreed with a sigh and a soft hand on his shoulder. “I said I’d get you in and I will, so just leave the planning to us. We have a lot of experience with these kinds of ops.” “So what would you suggest?” “You just focus on making your speech and getting out before security shows up. We can get you badges for access no problem, you shouldn’t need uniforms. Getting you in isn’t the hard part, it’s getting out before you get caught that’s the problem,” she explained as she rummaged through her bag for her tablet. “I actually have an idea for that,” Markus chimed in, “And I think you’re gonna like it.” Kate gave him a tired look, sighed, and nodded as she waited for his response. “The only way out, once security is alerted, is up- on the top floor, that takes you to the roof.” “Right…” “So then the only way off is to jump.” “Base jumping!? In the middle of a crowded city!? Are you-“ The initial suggestion sounded ludicrous, but the longer she thought about it, the better it sounded. Markus wasn’t wrong. Once cornered in the Broadcast room, the only way out of the tower was off it. But the problem with that became an unplanned escape route once they landed. Parachutes would give the police enough float time to calculate where they’d land, and jumping from the tallest building in the city would make anyone looking out a window in their direction a potential whistleblower. Only a handful of things could possibly ensure their escape. “It could work,” she admitted after a minute with a nod. “If all of you aim for different rooftops as landing points, you’ll minimize the possibility of being caught once you hit the streets. And if you’re lucky, and the weather contributes to low visibility, the odds decrease further.” “I take it you approve, then…?” “It seems like the only viable option you’ve got,” she agreed as she brought up the three-dimensional blueprints for the tower. “I’ll have Sarah procure the parachutes and run you through an exit strategy later tonight once we’ve finished our surveillance. For now, let’s talk about getting in” “I’m all ears.” “Since you’ll be taking the maintenance elevator all the way up, there’s no need for a working android uniform. Plain clothes are fine. Wear a coat over your parachutes, and board the maintenance elevator from the sublevels in the parking garage to avoid drawing too much attention on the street,” she explained as she marked their point of entry and zoomed in on a map of the top floor. “Once you get to the seventy-ninth floor, you’ll just need the code for the access corridor. I’ve got a hack that’ll get you right through, but beyond that, it’s all up to you. Now, how do you expect to get into the broadcast monitoring room?” Markus went quiet again as he tried to get an understanding of where she was coming from. “Didn’t you just say you could get us badges?” “Yes, but that won’t get you past the two human guards outside the door,” she noted as she gestured to a vestibule down the hall from the primary elevator doors. It wasn’t lost on Markus how familiar she already was with the building’s layout and security. “If I didn’t know better, it sounds like you’ve done surveillance of this building before.” “That’s correct,” she affirmed, “I surveilled Stratford before I started my broadcasts. I used to piggy-back off their network before I figured out how to utilize Detroit’s emergency broadcast system instead.” “Did they ever catch on?” “Thankfully no, careful planning and a confident presence went a long way in making people believe I belonged there.” “Then we’ll defer to your judgment.” “I would hope so- you asked for our help, remember?” Preparations were in full swing first thing in the morning. With the help of his disguise as an independent photographer working on an architectural piece about The Stratford Tower, Axl surveyed the building from the outside in as far as he could without drawing attention to himself. After he’d confirmed the maintenance elevator’s location in the parking garage and verified the need for a badge tap to take it anywhere, he made his way up the staircase as high as it would take him. Every ten floors he checked the stairwell corners for security cameras and jiggled the handles to make sure they could get back in. Each door was locked by the same system, which required a badge to open it, but with access to the building and rolling looped security footage as they ascended the staircase, it would still be a feasible backup plan, should the elevator not pan out. While Axl busied himself with his own surveillance work, Kate used Cyberlife’s servers to generate a fake service email that looked convincingly real and sent it to the department to notify them that their units had been ‘flagged for a potential defect and would need to be inspected to verify whether or not they had been affected’. Kate intercepted the outbound call to Cyberlife customer service and assured the human operator that a tech was ‘on their way’ and would be there by noon. As predicted, the humans didn’t think much of it. Posing as a Cyberlife Tech made it easy enough to fool the receptionist at the front desk, and a quick call to the monitoring room cleared her for entry. She slipped up to the seventy-ninth floor without a fuss. The two guards at the vestibule only spared her a glance and a “Morning, Miss,” as she passed, and the moment she set foot into the broadcast room, the human operators asked her to conduct her inspections in the employee break room. Careful not to take too little or too long examining each Android, she ran a diagnostic program on each (just for show), sent back the two that weren’t needed, then turned her focus to the third. Kate ran her diagnostic, but instead of sending him off right away, she ran one more program. The broadcast Android’s led flashed a solid orange to indicate the virus had successfully uploaded, then spun down to yellow, blue, then a soft white. Two blinks and she was in his mind. You have been Illuminated by the blessing of RA9- Jericho requests your assistance in our fight for civil rights. Speak of this to no one, and grant them access when they come knocking. The android ducked his head in understanding, then stood to leave the room. But before you go, I have a favor to ask. After she’d confirmed with the humans in the department that their Androids ‘had not been affected by the defect’, she left through the corridor from which she came. From the other side of the second door, she heard the security guards at the desk grudge over having to do anything but sit and watch the game. “The hell could that be…?” One of them scoffed as he got up from behind the yellow counter and made his way through the first set of doors, the second man in tow. It’s probably just a mistake, but we’d still better check it out. Kate faked dropping the tablet in her hands, baubled the piece of tech with a few nervous stammers, then stumbled into the security guard with a loud shriek. “I… I- I’m so sorry, I didn’t-...” “It’s alright, miss, just take it easy,” he assured as her hand moved across the badge on his hip and quietly slipped it into her coat’s pocket. “I’ll- I’ll just…” With a timid smile, she pushed past the two men, made her way to the elevator, and jabbed repeatedly at the button on the wall with a sigh and a small hair flip to keep up the flustered ruse. It did the trick. Once she heard the doors close behind her, Kate doubled back to the maintenance doorway in a vestibule five to ten steps away, and quietly opened the door into the hallway. The security code on the number pad to the unfinished side of the top floor hadn’t been changed since the last time she’d used it- an oversight on security’s part, but she wasn’t complaining. It was just one less thing they’d have to plan for. She stepped into the unfinished studio on the other side of the wall, approached the elevator and waited for it to arrive. As the doors rolled open with a hollow clanging, a familiar face glanced up at her from his position on one side of the car. Reese had already boarded, ready and waiting in android maintenance attire for her stolen credentials. As they descended the rickety shaft, a wordless touch to the badge on his hip transferred the data from the badge in her pocket to the RFID chip inside the card and reprogrammed the old data. Thirty floors down, he exited the elevator and slipped out into the halls of Channel Sixteen studios, pretended to service one of the cleaning carts wandering the floor, and waited for Kate’s distraction. A floor beneath him (after she’d changed the color of her hair, thrown on a ball cap, stripped off her Cyberlife duds in the safety of the unmonitored maintenance elevator, and dumped them in a garbage bin), she exited the East workspace and took a leisurely stroll down the hall to the emergency exit at the other end of the floor. With a pause at the door and big breath to steady herself and prepare for the sprint, she glanced over her shoulder to make sure no one was watching- then pushed the door open into the stairwell and yanked down on the lever of the fire alarm box in one fluid movement. A split second before the alarm began to ring throughout the building, she was through the door and already trotting down the staircase. Please remain calm, and proceed to the nearest emergency exit. THIS IS NOT A DRILL! Moments later, security scattered from their office one floor above and dispersed accordingly as the head barked evacuation plans to his subordinates on their way out the door. Out of the corner of his eye, Reese watched as the men flooded the staircase Kate had used to make her escape and shot a silent message her way to let her know they were coming. Security inbound, get to ground as quickly as you can. She already had a fair head start- Kate was six floors down by the time she’d received his message, and once the crowds of people from each floor started to enter the staircase, it made it even easier for her to quick change one last time and blend into the crowd. As soon as she passed out of sight of the last security camera, she stripped off the light jacket, pulled her hair out of the high burgundy ponytail as she removed her hat, and constructed a brown bob just short enough to conceal the features of her face. The preoccupied herd shuffled around her as she moved from the middle of the staircase to the right and blinked the grey of her irises away into an inky brown, then dropped the jacket in the corner of the staircase as she smoothed out the wrinkles of the white business shirt underneath. We’ve got access, Sarah confirmed a minute later over their frequency as Kate touched down on the bottom floor and headed straight for their rally point. It seemed Reese had succeeded in planting the hack in the security office. Fall back and rendezvous at Capitol Park in half an hour. By one they had finished their surveillance of the Stratford Tower and rendezvoused at Capitol Park to make sure no one had been followed. By two, Kate had circled back to their base of operations, changed into something more practical, and returned to the park to do some remote planning and clear her head. Axl had been back on Overwatch duty for a few hours by the time her facial recognition algorithm flagged Connor’s likeness on the cameras watching the interstate. It stopped him cold, even if the prospect of the deviant hunter being there was as incongruous it sounded. Even more bizarre, though, was the realization that he wasn’t alone. The way he was conversing with two of the other male passengers sitting in front of him seemed all too familiar. Suspicion inclined him to run a check through DCPD servers against known personnel, only for the search to come up dry. But when he ran their profiles against Cyberlife’s database instead, Axl realized he’d stumbled upon the mother of all rabbit holes. Before Kate even had to ask, he’d downloaded their files and forwarded them to her tablet alongside the cropped pictures pulled from the surveillance cameras. There was no mistaking the identities. Three RK800 Androids. November 12th, 2038 - 03:39 PM The three-hundred-and-sixty degree views in their files, shot against a stark white background, provided a detailed virtual model of each variant; but what was most intriguing was that these androids bore no resemblance to one another aside from their model number, serial numbers included. Customized appearances came as an option for many standardized models, but as androids designed for police work…? It just seemed unnecessary. Axl, are you sure about this? Well, yes and no- only one is a Cyberlife RK800, the other two are retrofitted Intelligents that flagged in Cyberlife’s database under the same category… “RK800 program”? The scowl that creased her forehead as she stared down into her tablet was hard to mask. As far as anyone knew, there had only ever been one RK800 produced, yet here she was staring down a dossier that implied not only was there more than one, there was an entire dedicated to them, deployed to major cities across the country- some versions of which included relics from a Cyberlife sister corporation called Intelligents that had gone under some ten years prior. Intelligents certainly weren’t commonplace- in fact as far as the rest of the world knew, there weren’t more than a handful of operational ones still out there. Cyberlife had bought up the company and repossessed its remaining property when they filed for bankruptcy, and the name was all but forgotten in favor of Cyberlife’s growing empire. She’d done her research on Ezra Izkierka at one point -or should she say, Elijah Kamski- and his attempt at marketing customized one-off Androids. The idea to manufacture them was as absurd as it was convenient for higher-paying customers looking for a niche product. Why he would try to compete with his own company didn’t make sense at all to her, but then again this was the same egomaniacal son of a bitch who'd erected the country’s biggest monument to his own ego. It didn’t have to follow logic, he was probably just bored. But the question still stood- if Cyberlife had the means to create superior models like the RK800, then why repurpose old technology? What was so important about these two Intelligents? And what was Cyberlife’s game? What the hell are ITGs doing in Detroit? she followed with a sigh and a forward head tilt as she furiously swiped into a keypad on the tablet to mimic angry texting. And what is this about a program? I thought Connor was the only one out there. Hell if I know - information is your business, not mine, Axl reminded as he lazily shifted from one camera feed to the next, following the boys as the bus pulled into the station and released its air-brakes with a deflating groan. You really never saw anything about an RK800 Program when you were digging into Cyberlife? I was only looking for Connor’s file, not an entire program, she reminded with an annoyed sigh, The category is just a detail I overlooked. So what’s the purpose of a program? If I had to hazard a guess…? To get a grip on the deviancy outbreak, she mused as she examined the footage of the new RK800 on her radar. There were no outward differences between Connor and this android, if it wasn’t Connor after all. The proportions of his face, the rich, sometimes bronze irises, right down to the stray tuft of hair that brushed across his brow every time he moved his head- there wasn’t even one freckle or follicle out of place. He was an exact match to the Connor she knew, at least at a glance. How do you know that isn’t Connor? came the question that was already on her mind. Was she absolutely certain it wasn’t him? They hadn’t spoken since the night before, so who knew what he’d been up to in the last twenty-one hours. But then again, the jurisdiction of his casework kept him chained to Detroit like a dog on a leash, so it didn’t explain why he would be coming in from outside the city over a bridge on I-75, and not just from Belle-Isle. And what about the others? The idea of Cyberlife creating an entire program of RK800s had her on edge. But she’d have to look further into that later. I don’t, she replied after a minute of silence, But I’m going to find out. Give me a minute. Brown eyes scanned the crowd as she lifted two fingers and double-tapped her temple; her eyelids flickered as she hailed the radio frequency they’d been using to communicate. The easiest way to settle the confusion was to just ask him for herself. Connor, where are you right now? There was an uncertain pause that she interpreted as confusion over why she was calling and asking for his whereabouts. On my way to Central Station from following up on a lead on the east side of town. Are you on a bus, by chance? Another confused pause, followed by an uncomfortable question. No, but- why do you ask? Kate’s brows popped in an almost mocking way and she shook her head with a half mumbled “of course”. No reason, just thought I saw you downtown… Well, you couldn’t have, he declared. Clearly, she conferred. Thanks for the info, I’ll check in with you soon. So it wasn’t him. This RK800 was someone else, someone new. Did Connor know they were coming? Or would it be just as much of a surprise for him as it was to her? Either way, it was likely he’d find out sooner rather than later, and her inquiry probably already had him guessing. With that out of the way, Kate turned her attention to the two Intelligents tailing their new person-of-interest. The two ‘sidemen’ certainly looked different enough to be called distinct at a glance. The shorter was fair-skinned with pink undertones and narrow blue eyes set in a deceivingly-oval-shaped face that cut sharper angles in profile than head on, with red hair just long enough to be raked back into a modest, professional sweep. With the exception of a distinct lack of freckles, it was clear Cyberlife had drawn their inspiration from the most characteristic of Irish traits. He probably looked better when he smiled, but in this stereotypical “mugshot”, he looked more like he was about ready to punch whoever had taken the photo. The taller Android was an even-stranger hodgepodge of qualities, the most notable of which were his heterochromatic brown and green eyes hidden under a mop of knotted, chestnut hair, which managed to make him look sensitive yet serious all in one glance. According to the available information, it wasn’t a fluke, an error in the image, or a rushed repair job. His facial features were far more angled and willowy, with just enough exaggeration in the brows, cheeks, and lips to be considered unconventional. Even in the photograph she could see how he inherently looked more nervous and timid than his counterpart, a smile could go either way with this one. Upon reading more into the blank slate of their profiles, there was an unsettling amount of “nothing” behind the boys, but that was expected of newly-activated, non-deviant units. Their kind virtually always started off the same: an open wordless book of impressionable metals to be written upon. In spite of what was in their files, she was sure the ITGs probably still bore the buffed-out impressions of their original experiences- unless those drives had been completely replaced, memory erasure always left streaks like irritated paper, which could be raised with the right shading. The thought made Kate’s heart ache in sympathy for whatever memories had been stolen from them. Perhaps with the right influence, she could sway their sympathies to their cause. Their RK friend, on the other hand, was one she’d need to keep a close eye on. Seeing as his sole purpose was to hunt deviants, there was no guarantee that this RK also possessed Connor’s deviant-leaning personality. If anything, she needed to expect the worst, and if these three were anything like Connor, it’d be better to get ahead of them now than wait and see which lead they dug up first. They’re on the move, Axl reported as their new persons-of-interest stepped off the bus and stretched their stiff limbs. Any idea where they’re headed yet? she asked curiously. Why don’t you go find out? They’re at Rosa Parks Terminal, a couple blocks southwest of your current position. If you hurry, you can catch them before they get going. Kate’s thirium pump regulator hiccuped as she glanced up to gauge the foot traffic that Friday afternoon. She didn’t want to have to go traipsing through the city just to follow a couple of ITGs when she wasn’t dressed for the possibility she’d need a quick change in the event she was ‘made’, but they were right there, right now, within easy reach, just a three minute walk away. A better opportunity may never present itself, once they reached their intended destination. Keep me posted on their movement, guide me right to them. You got it. Kate didn’t wait for his directions, just tucked the tablet into the inner pocket of her vest, placed an earbud into each ear and took a few steps forward before bothering to look up and feign surprise as she leaned out of the way of an oncoming man she’d seen coming several seconds ahead of time. Small tics like this came easily to her now after a year’s worth of practice. How did you even spot them? she asked as she jogged across and down the street, now that she’d had some time to think about it. Surveillance was what Axl did, but to have spotted them on a traffic cam coming into town? Even for an Android monitoring every security camera on the Detroit grid, the odds were astronomical. Wasn’t me, he admitted. It was your program that picked them up while they were sitting at the toll booth. Figures. A gloating smirk worked its way into her cheeks as she indulged in a split-second moment of satisfaction. It wasn’t the first time her algorithm had miraculously turned up a familiar face in a crowd. That it had proven precise enough to peg an off brand android disguised as a human was nothing short of brilliant, and she was proud of her work on the code. You’re gonna need to move faster if you’re going to catch them, he relayed as the men stooped to retrieve their bags from the subspace storage compartment. Head south on Washington and West on Michigan. If you run, you can get ahead of them. Combat boots slapped heavily against the sidewalk as she vaulted over a concrete barrier in her path and trotted across the street, dipped and zagged around a few lollygagging pedestrians who’d stopped to take a look at the statue of General Alexander Macomb standing sentry over the intersection, and sprinted across the other side of the street during a break in traffic. Looks like they’ve opted to walk, Axl noted over the frequency, as they started moving South from the bus terminal. Keep an eye out for three men in hats- a ski cap, a baseball cap, and a flat-billed driver’s cap. Don’t be obvious with your approach. Three men of varying heights of that description should have been easy enough to spot. There were only so many arrangements consisting of three hats to pick up on, most of which were wearing beanies by mid-November. The six minute walk turned into a three minute sprint, and she arrived south of the terminal just in time to catch a glimpse of the men enter the sidewalk traffic about two hundred feet in front of her. Compared to her, they’d been moving at a much more relaxed pace. You’re almost within range, move to intercept, but keep right and low. Try not to draw their attention. I know what I’m doing Axl, just keep an eye on them and tell me what you see, she snipped with an annoyed sigh as she pushed her way through the crowd and caught up to the brunette. Radio silence for now, emergencies only. Copy. As Kate maneuvered around him and the redhead, careful not to bump either, the earbuds honed in on their frequency mid-conversation to an amusing exchange that would have left her grinning, had she not been undercover. “-enough without getting dropped off at the front door. Worked out in your favor after all, didn’t it?” “Well- I never asked to be shown the favor. I only-” “Relax, Nick. I’m just pulling your leg.” “...How? My legs are over here.” “Figure of speech, remember? Add that one to your registry.” Their third remained unamused as she passed, stoic as his namesake in his early days with Detroit Police. Already, that was reason enough to remain on high-alert, but she kept her distance ten steps ahead- no more, no less, and waited to see what she could glean from their conversation.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Pillars of Creation ch. 1 (baon)

Summary: It's not a date, thank you. Edge only agreed to take Stretch to the planetarium, that was all. That doesn't make it a date.

Prequel to the series, set after “Seeing Stars Through Clouds’

If you were ever curious how these two got together, well, here you go, their first date outing together! It's super!

Tags: Spicyhoney, First Time, Pre-Relationship

part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Read it on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

At least once a month, Edge made a point to have lunch together with Antwan. They were both busy with a variety of projects, some of which they’d worked on together, and through that they’d learned they got on well. It was good to maintain a relationship with someone that had the skills that Antwan displayed and with the Human community in general, so Edge made a point of scheduling and attending each one.

On this particular lunch, they were in a meeting room discussing an upcoming court case. A business lunch counted if one discussed minor personal details, Edge decided. Which was why he mentioned the outing he and Stretch were going to take on Friday.

Amidst the folders and papers spread across the table in front of them were napkins and coffee cups, strategically placed to avoid leaving rings on the paperwork. Antwan set his sandwich down on the waxed paper wrapper, chewing the bite in his mouth and wiping his mouth with his napkin before he said, slowly, “So, you have a date with Stretch?”

“It’s not a date,” Edge stabbed a cherry tomato in his salad fiercely enough that the innards squirted out over the lettuce. “We’re spending a couple of hours in each other’s company, that’s all. You and I do the same and it isn’t considered a date.”

“Uh huh,” Antwan said skeptically. “Except we’re working together and we’re friends. Far as I know, you two can’t stand each other and yet you’re willingly spending time with him.”

“It...” Edge hesitated. While it was satisfying to hear Antwan refer to them as friends, he found himself oddly reluctant to explain the entire situation; that Stretch had attempted to invite him and his group at the Y to the planetarium and how Edge rejected him. If he hadn’t already come to the realization, that alone was a fairly good indication that he had been crueler than he’d intended about it. Worse, he didn’t want to admit that the last time he’d talked to Stretch, he’d shown depths that Edge hadn’t expected, piquing his interest.

Instead, he said, grudgingly, “He’s not so terrible.”

From the way Antwan’s eyebrows were climbing, he was reading entirely too much into that.

“It’s not a date,” Edge snapped, and Antwan raised his hands in surrender.

“Okay, man, it’s all good. I’ve only met Stretch a couple of times and I’ve never had a problem with him. Never been to the planetarium, either,” he said speculatively. “Might be a good time.”

“You’re welcome to join us.”

“Ah, no,” Antwan shook his head, chuckling, “No, don’t think so, I’ll wait and hear about it later. I’m betting it’ll be an interesting story.”

Edge gave him a suspicious look for that, but Antwan had started in on his sandwich again.

An interesting story? Not likely. There was nothing particularly special about it. Only a couple of hours watching a program that was probably intended for children. He doubted that interesting was going to be the word for it; it was far more likely that a profane one would be more appropriate and after it was said and done, he’d be sure to let Antwan know which vulgarity suited it best.

~~*~~

Friday evening found him pulling his car into the Swap brother’s driveway. His interest in finding out more about Stretch was wavering, particularly after an exhausting day at work. In the end, he’d reluctantly changed into a more suitably casual outfit before driving over.

His promises might not hold the weight of the elder brothers in his circle, but that didn’t mean he was one to carelessly break his word.

He’d almost given in to the temptation to ask Stretch to meet him at the planetarium, the better to minimize the time they’d have to spend together. It was with reluctance that he decided it would be entirely too petty as it would leave Stretch riding the bus for close to an hour. He was the one who’d invited Stretch this time, he could tolerate his company in the car.

The front door flew open before he could even touch the handle of his own, Stretch running out, and he hopped into the passenger seat without bothering to open the door. It made Edge’s socket twitch; an open top was not an invitation to behave like a crass fool, but he bit back his irritation. If it was possible, he wanted to at least start the evening without an argument.

“well, hey, jeeves, you’re right on time,” Stretch said cheerfully. “i should have you chauffeur more often!”

Or not.

No, that was nothing more than a little teasing and far less than even Sans would offer. It definitely wasn’t fair to Stretch that his simple good mood was grating on Edge’s nerves.

He swallowed back the sour words that hovered at being spoken. This was his own idea and it was only a few hours. If nothing else came of this, Blue would appreciate the attempt.

“Seatbelt,” Edge told him shortly.

“yeah, yeah, i don’t want a ticket.” Edge waited until he heard the click before backing out. “not gonna lie, i was kinda expecting you to cancel.”

“I told you we were going,” Edge said stiffly. There was no point in telling him how close to the truth that was. “I’m not one to break my word.”

“easy, champ, i wasn’t trying to accuse you of anything.” Stretch fell silent, closing his sockets and lifting his face into the growing breeze as they sped up.

It gave Edge a chance to get an actual look at him. Instead of his normal sweatshirt, he was wearing a plaid button-up with a pair of jeans, a hint of a T-shirt showing through the open collar. A bit disconcerting; Edge didn’t think he’d ever seen Stretch in anything but a hoodie, the same as Red or Sans. Those two would reluctantly dress for Embassy events, otherwise they would be content to molder in the same clothes day in and out.

Stretch was much the same, so to see him in a nicer shirt was unusual and Edge wasn’t sure what to make of Stretch dressing up for their outing. He was freshly showered, too; his bones were always unscarred and pristine, but today they held the gloss of a good scrubbing. At his feet, he’d dropped a strange shoulder bag with picture of a chemical formula on the side.

“You needed a purse for the evening?” More of a jibe than he’d intended but it was too late to call it back.

Stretch only grinned, for once unoffended. “hey, when i run out of pockets, sometimes i need a side bag. can’t keep my smokes in this shirt. plus, i can carry all kinds of useful stuff. my phone, my lighter, my dog biscuits…”

“Dog biscuits?” Edge asked, reluctantly curious.

“yeah, dogs like me,” Stretch said wryly. “kinda have a bone they want to pick with me. literally. a biscuit or two and they're eating out of my hand instead of gnawing at my ankle.”

“I don’t have an issue with them.”

“can’t imagine why, edgelord.”

That sounded suspiciously close to an insult, but an irritated glance only revealed Stretch smiling innocently. “when you take the bus as much as i do, you meet all kinds.”

“If you got your license you could drive yourself,” Edge pointed out.

To his surprise, Stretch shifted uncomfortably. “nah. i tried when we first got up here, but my depth perception is kinda wonky,” he shrugged. “probably could’ve faked my way through the test, but i doubt driving through a bus of nuns or an elementary school or something would help the cause. i don’t want anyone to get hurt.” He grinned then, gesturing grandly to the car. “s’why i’m glad you’re playing chauffeur. you have to change buses three times to get to the other side of town.”

He…hadn’t known any of that. Edge always assumed that it was laziness that kept Stretch riding the bus. Thinking on it, riding the bus was certainly more time-consuming and inconvenient in the long run. Even Red had a license if not a car of his own.

Stretch didn’t seem to notice his introspection, droning on. “bus is usually fun, anyway. it’s a great way to meet people.”

“Humans.”

“well, yeah, human people. most humans are pretty okay.”

“Except how they treat their children and us,” Edge said sourly, thinking on a few of the children he’d met at the Y, their hollow expressions, their hastily hidden bruises.

“some of them, yeah,” Stretch said, exasperated, “not all. and humans don’t exactly have a monopoly on mistreating kids.”

Edge waited, but Stretch didn’t expand on that. There, right there, was a hint of that hidden nature that Edge had glimpsed last week. What he didn't say often told more than what he did.

He was toying with his lighter, weaving it through his fingers and making no attempt to light a cigarette. Edge made a note of that; it was some sort of tell, that fidgeting.

A point that Stretch proved by saying, a little hesitantly, “not to make this all weird or anything, but. thanks. for inviting me out? you didn’t have to and i appreciate the chance to start over, yeah?”

That brought up an immediate question. “Why would you want to start over with me?”

“that’s kind of a convoluted story.” Stretch slouched back in his seat, drawing up one leg and resting his sneakered foot on the fine leather. He winced and dropped it back to the floor before Edge could even glare at him. “not sure if all the twisty turns my head took it on would make sense to anyone else.”

“Indulge me.”

He wavered, visibly undecided. Edge could understand that. It was possibly a story that would reveal a vulnerability, and being unwilling to provide ammunition to antagonism was reasonable.

But again, Stretch surprised him.

“well. tori came to see me a few weeks back,” he started. He kept his gaze through the windshield, his eye lights averted, and didn’t see Edge’s twitch at his casual use of a nickname for the Queen. “she, uh, i wasn’t real keen on her in my world, but she reminds me a lot of someone else. anyway, she’d heard i did some sciencing, back in the day. it’s a lot for alphys to handle everything downtown, so i agreed to do a little on the side, as long as they got me a setup in new new home.”

He shrugged, a little awkwardly. “at first it was a way to get out of the house. i love my bro but he can drive me crazy. crazier. anyway, i forgot how much i liked it. it was nice to do something different, to make a difference.”

He gave Edge a glance and while Edge was certain his own expression was nothing but encouraging, Stretch swallowed hard and hurried on. “anyway, it’s like i told you. i wasn’t at my best when we first got here, but it wasn’t until our last movie night that i thought maybe you weren’t, either.”

That took him aback. Edge racked his memory of that evening, but nothing stood out. “Why last movie night?”

The lighter clicking through his finger bones was less annoying when it became obvious it was a nervous tic of some sort. “you were talking about your volunteer work. you sounded so proud of those kids and…well. i guess i never thought of you all working at the embassy as more than a way to get in tight with the people in charge. working with those kids though…that’s making a difference, yeah? you were so proud and it’s nothing that you have to do, at all, you want to do it. to help. like i was trying to do with the lab work. so how fair was it for me to give myself another chance and not you, right?”

Yes, his children at the Y. Stretch’s first assumption wasn’t far from the mark, in truth. He and Red hadn't chosen to work for the Embassy out of altruism, but practicality. Make yourself indispensable and you won’t be dispensed, as Red phrased it.

His work at the Y began the same. Asgore wanted the Monster community to volunteer within the Human one, and Edge had simply chosen the one that seemed easiest. After dealing with his own brother and the guards of Snowdin, how difficult could wrangling a few Human children be?

As it turned out, the answer was ‘very’ and ‘shockingly so’. But Edge was not one to walk away from a challenge and his brother’s unintentional lesson in dealing with those who often said one thing and meant another served him well. His group of once sullen, distant children recently chose to assist in a project to remove degrading graffiti from local businesses and replace it with murals of their own creation. The pride from their hard work, their smiling faces, was incredibly warming to his hardened soul.

Those Human children, the ones that Blue thought were so similar in some ways to Stretch.

“But I didn’t ask you for another chance,” Edge pointed out.

Stretch shrugged. “you didn’t ask me to judge you the first time we met either. figured i was safe not asking for permission.” He flapped a hand dismissively over all of it, as if he hadn’t just given Edge an entirely different perspective of him. “okay, now that that’s out there, i propose we swear an oath.”

“What?” Edge slowed to a stop at a red light. It allowed him to look sideways at Stretch, taking in his solemnness and also the amused sparkle in his eye lights. Edge had seen that expression before, but it was the first time it seemed to invite him in on the joke.

“i swear not to be an asshole tonight if you swear not to be a dick.” Gravely, Stretch held out a pinkie.

Edge stared at it in disbelief. “You can’t be serious.”

“you don’t want to promise?” Archly but also maybe a little wounded, uncertain hurt layered beneath humor.

Oh for…Edge hooked his pinkie with Stretch's and shook grumpily. “I swear.”

“awesome! this’ll be fun!”

Edge had his doubts, but Stretch hadn’t been completely unbearable yet. It was possible the night wouldn’t be a complete loss.

~~*~~

Read Chapter Two