#uh i guess i’ll tag this as
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i’ve decided that i cannot be the only person in someone else’s life. they need to have other strong and close relationships. i will not be the only person they talk to outside of work. not doing it again.
#inverseofconverse#really thankful i kept this account safe from him#not that anything explicitly bad would have happened but#i’m just glad i don’t have to think about him on here#sa is serious and it’s not cnc if there’s no c#i don’t regret it but i hate that there’s someone out there hurting because of me#but it’s just the consequences of his own actions#i’m not a bad person for setting and enforcing boundaries#remorseful people take responsibility for their words and actions#they don’t apologize and turn the blame on something else and try to guilt you into forgiving them#they don’t get angry#they don’t make multiple new accounts to try to talk to you#especially when you said ‘don’t talk to me’#uh i guess i’ll tag this as#buzzer#charlie brown#had to dig to find the tag i used for that one lmao#i’ll also tag as#cam#other tyler#cam is the most recent situation#but tyler pulled the same type of shit#no one is entitled to my time or my attention or my body
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Marauders fandom!! You have been summoned. Look! It’s a James! Feast thine eyes! (I’m sorry, do what you want. I’m not the boss of you. Have a nice day.)
#marauders#james potter#prongs fanart#fanart#my art#art#artist#harry potter#marauders fanart#james potter fanart#i’m so proud of this drawing#and that while I only spend 2 hours on it#getting an ipad was the best choice of my life#anyways#uh#how does one tag?#should I add the other marauders?#i don’t know#i don’t want Jamsey here to show up when someone is on the sirius black tag#i’ll just leave it like this I guess#have a nice night#or day#or morning#or#actually#have a nice week#:)#harry potter fanart
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ngl kind of dreading what this week’s episode will do to the fan perception of kabru bc ppl already characterize him as overly violent bc of the harpy egg scene. he views killing laios as a last resort. he was being dramatic. that’s the punchline!
he’s interested in laios’s monster ramblings. he may not be interested in monsters themselves but he wants to know about his thought process.
in a way it is funny bc its such a “the boy who cried wolf” situation bc kabru lies so much some of the audience doesn’t believe him when he’s actually speaking from his heart
while yeah kabru might go insane if laios just kept rambling about monsters some of you exaggerate it. he’s more likely to try to divert the conversation into something else(even if it doesn’t work) than outright attack him or something. like sure, he’d get violent thoughts but he won’t act on them! god
#kabru would kill at being a retail worker#dungeon meshi#kabru#uh i guess i’ll tag that white beast too bc it’s partially about him#laios touden
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Morceau is such an interesting character to me. He’s convicted of stolen valor. He likes 2000s boy band pop. He was traumatized for life by watching his pet bunny die before his very eyes. He’s on probation. He has two older brothers named Rock and Eagle. He says he’s 6’2 on his Psychonauts ID. He’s co-conspirators with an ambiguously gay dentist perpetually committing medical malpractice. He never was able to fully make his father proud since his parents died just as he became a Psychonaut. He has posters in his mind affirming “You Are Tall!”. He’s accidentally both transfem AND bi-curious coded. He is an icon. He IS the moment
#꒰💘꒱ ❝ words of love ❞#what if I just put this in the main tags. what do I have to lose#eh fuck it#Psychonauts#coach oleander#psychonauts spoilers#implied animal abuse cw#that’s all they’re getting. don’t get cocky#anyways. my chest hurts. I guess yapping did me a favor since I feel a little better#I’ll TRY to go back to bed but uh. it ain’t gonna be easy
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I started Harrow the Ninth and I gotta say… the second-person is a hard sell
#maybe I’ll get used to it#but in the meantime it’s like#book ‘you became a lyctor’#me: ‘nuh uh I was lying in bed the whole time’#Chrissy reads Gideon the ninth#guess that tag is wrong now and I should make it locked tomb or something#…….eh
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working on some designs for an au i’ve been thinking about,, it’s all concepts, not much is solidified, so i did hide the notes i made but asdgfg you can see the art <3
#my art#smallishbeans fanart#ethoslab fanart#trafficblr#???i guess#need a tag for this… uh…#i’ll figure that out later#sphynx LIFE au
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Late to the party as always 🫡 but happy Kagerou Day, everyone 🫡
#honestly don’t know what to tag this#but uh guess I’ll just go for it#kagerou project#kagepro#tateyama ayano#kisaragi shintaro#seto clears every character in the whole thing by the way#just figured you guys should know my stance on the matter#also summertime record makes me cry#pretty pleased with how quick and decently I can draw hands without reference now#I hardly ever use reference anyway#but now they actually look like hands#okay I’ll stop stroking my ego now bye
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The opportunity was there
(a reference to this)
AHVVJDKSHDJSK HELP IM????? 😭😭😭
okay but ngl jade getting gems and visiting yuusha just to say that it’s the color of her eyes is really cute. i think yuusha would be into that. anyways. im.
(sorry grim i did not have the patience to draw you ghdksjfd but imagine he's like: “what's the issue here, ur getting free gems”)
i had unagi on his bday and jade sensed it from miles away. what is. wrong with him. why is he like this.
#LITERALLY I SAY IT SO MUCH BUT YOURE SO FAST BUT ANYWAYS I WANTED TO DRAW SOMETHING TOO--#ALSO i see that hairstyle 😭🫶#it makes me happy you noticed that this whole yuushade fiasco is during yuusha’s 2ndyr#[—✦ chatting#-✧ lovely art#twst oc x canon#jade leech#twst grim#(💜) yuusha#(💜) yuushade#(<- SIGH there's a tag for them now i guess)#2ndyr💜#-✧ my art#-✦—]#final post for the night then i eep#i’ll queue something later that i drew a few days ago;;;#there’s uh implied yuushade#and it’s also based on that purple heart sweater you drew tato 😤💕
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the unique experience of going through my drafts
#sorry about the images i didn’t know what to put lmao#music#no id#giddly’s art#i guess??? i’ll make a music tag. maybe. at some point#claymation#i think some of these go back as far as like 6 years ? so uh . yeah. it takes me a LONG time to produce music 🪦#giddly’s music
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saw you guys were talking about cannibalism
grian canonically is a cannibal bro (not hermitcraft canon, but fuck it we say it is anyways, just like the watchers)
he invited his friends over to a house he WON and ATE THEM
(vid on taurtis’/joeyish’s channel btw)
gotta look at that video at some point wow
#mod ice#grian in a situation#wait what do i tag this#uh#i guess i’ll just#taurtis#grian and others in a situation
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Cotl Auuuuu
It’s modern time babeyyyy
* This au does take place in modern day but it technically “starts” in the late 90s bc it’s a Narinder and Lamb were childhood best friends au :))
* I honestly have the most ideas for when they’re in high school but I’ll get to that in a bit (also should say this was inspired by that one prom post from redcrowncafe where Lamb talks about their prom date who was an asshole and wishes they knew Narinder then so they could’ve gone with each other. Saw that and thought “okay but what if they did” and that spiraled out of control)
* I’ve yet to say that my personal headcanon for Lamb’s family is that they had two moms, and three younger siblings (a sister about 12 years younger, and 18 years younger twins; one male one amab gender-fluid). The twins don’t show up till Lamb is, well, 18 tho so they won’t come up much yet
* The Bishops (Bishop is just their last name here) are all foster siblings who have shitty foster parents. Shamura stays even a bit into their early 20s because of this since they don’t want to leave their younger siblings alone with those two. The foster parents’ were abusive in multiple ways, and they also kept any money the Bishop’s respective parents might’ve left for their offspring to themselves (spoiler: Shamura’s in particular were LOADED and so when the Bishops are finally away from these two they’re pretty much set for life). It’s after a particularly scary night where a two year old Leshy and a six year old Heket are threatened while Shamura and the parents are arguing that something in Shamura snaps and they begin to plan to murder their foster parents. Yay!
* I don’t have the details but they in fact /do/ kill them. Thing is they’re super smart about it and hardly any evidence can be traced back to them. It is a small town though so there aren’t too many suspects and overall the one who would have the motive and probable method would be Shamura (unless they wanna try and pin it of 13 year old Kallamar or 8 year old Narinder). Thing is, their foster parents? No one liked them. So no one’s gonna point fingers. The police try and press people to give a suspect but no one does. So the case goes cold. But, even though no one liked the two, murder is still frowned upon by most so the siblings move away.
* But BEFORE all that let me explain a bit about Nari and Lamb’s friendship: they met in kindergarten (idk why they’re in the same grade when I hc Lamb to be a year older but shhh) and while Narinder tried to act “cool” and “aloof” Lamb was having none of it and dragged him along on little kid adventures like playing in the mud and pretending to be power rangers. Also almost from the get go Nari had a little crush on Lamb lol. Since Nari and his sibs move away when he’s 8, these two knew each other for 3 years. Idk what all happens in that time. Like I said most of what I’ve thought up for this au (mainly about Narilamb) happens in their high school years. It is thanks to their play dates at each others houses that Lamb figures out that being nonbinary is a thing from Shamura and is like “Wait… Me too???”
* After the move, Nari and Lamb stay connected through letters and phone calls. They also send pictures of all kinds of things, mainly of themselves so the other “won’t forget what I look like!” Neither make many lasting friends, at least, not ones around the same age as them (Lamb befriends Ratau and his buddies. Narinder befriends kind library assistant Forneus and her two twin sons).
* Lamb is loud and proud about who they are, which unfortunately makes them targeted for bullying, though it’s not just for their gender, it’s also because of their - Idk a better word than quirky Sorry - personality and the rumors about their long distance best friend; there’s multiple rumors, like that he doesn’t exist (this comes from those who don’t know much about the whole Bishop family scandal) or that he’s a murderer, just like his older sibling (this comes from those that /do/ know, ofc)
* Btw over the course of these years they’ve been apart Nari’s crush has only grown and Lamb has also gained a crush on Nari themself
* OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY TIME FOR THE BIT I HAVE THE MOST OF AN IDEA FOR GET READY (it’s super cheesy and corny and honestly feels like a Disney channel original movie but this fandom could use a little more of that imo so let me live)
* So, I know some schools would let Juniors have their own prom. Let’s say Lamb’s school does that. They had been asked by some guy to be his prom date and figured “why not?” and accepted. Thing is the guy asked if they could buy his ticket, and being the nice person (yet to decide if this is also a human au or if they’re still all animals) they are they do so. The guy then just takes the ticket and tells them to get lost. Lamb didn’t like the guy but it still hurt to have their kindness taken advantage of. They tell Narinder all about it and admit they probably won’t even go to the prom, even though they already bought a ticket and outfit. Nari, who Lamb can’t see bc it’s just a phone call, is absolutely SEETHING.
* Now Narinder has a mission: Get a tux, flowers, and other gifts. Convince Shamura to let him go in his truck (yeah he drives a truck in this au, idk it’s just the car I imagined when I thought it up lol) and be away from home for a few of days (it would take about a day to drive there, then he’d want to stay for at least one or two, then another to drive back). Shamura is reluctant (that town holds a lot of bad memories and him being so far away when he’s only 16 is scary), but seeing the determination in his eyes makes them relent.
* He calls Lamb’s moms and lets them know his plan, but wants it to be a surprise. They both agree to convince them to go to prom even if they will be going alone, without letting it slip that they will have a prom date after all.
* Prom night comes around, and Lamb, who is dressed in a tux-dress combo, is confused as to why their moms, who were so insistent that they go, aren’t ready to take them? (Projecting my reluctance to learn to drive onto them here, so that’s why they can’t drive themself). Then the doorbell rings. They answer and see Narinder (who is now like a foot taller wow couldn’t tell that in the photos he sent) in a tuxedo holding a bouquet and corsage. He’s got a nervous smile on his face as he says “I know it’s a little last minute, but will you allow me to accompany you to prom?”
* Almost a full minute passes in silence, making Nari sweat and begin to regret doing all of this. Then he gets jumped by Lamb into a hug that topples them both to the ground as they scream “YES!!!”. Thankfully they aren’t hurt and their formal wear is alright, though they wouldn’t notice otherwise, their focuses only on each other’s laughter and presence.
* When he opens the passenger door for them there’s a basket of treats, jewelry and a black cat plushie. “Ohh, Narinderrrr! You’re making me feel like I’m royalty!” “You are, to me.” *pause as they look at each other in flustered silence* “A-ANYWAYS WERE SHOULD GET GOING RIGHT?” “OH YEAH YOURE RIGHT. Uh, help me up?” He helps them climb into their seat, close the door, and silently screams about how dumb that was (while Lamb is inside internally screams about how sweet that was and oh no they think they’re falling for him)
* They get there (Yeah I realized Nari doesn’t have a ticket but let’s say somehow there was enough for him to buy one at the entrance) and they’re having a good time (only barely noticing the looks they’re getting and the whispers of “Isn’t that one of the Bishop siblings? Figures Lamb would have to settle for a murderer to be their date.”), dancing, eating and drinking the possibly spiked punch. I’m sorry to say some hurt is about to happen
* They have a run in with the guy who tricked Lamb and Nari almost breaks the guys nose before Lamb pulls him away saying it’s not worth it. He’s about to disagree and say something embarrassing again like “maybe /he’s/ not worth it but /you/ are and he hurt you so he deserves to be punched” when a girl “accidentally” spills her whole cup of punch onto Lamb’s outfit. Everyone around them laughs and Lamb, barely blinking back tears, runs out of the building. Narinder growls at them all and runs after Lamb.
* He finds them curled up by a tree outside, and sits down next to them. He tries to comfort them but they sob out “Just take me back home.” He agrees to do so, but tells them to go wash up a bit in the bathroom while he gets something. As they’re washing up he knocks on the door and asks to come in. They let him and see he’s holding a box. He tells them he planned on giving it to them later after Prom for something else he had planned but figured they’d just go now since Lamb didn’t want to stay anymore. He hands it to them and says he’ll be waiting outside.
* Surprise! It’s another outfit :)) It’s a bit more cozy than what they were wearing before, but still fit for “royalty”. And a black crown with a big red jewel inlaid in the middle-front
* They get dressed and marvel in the mirror before going back out. Narinder’s heart skips a beat when he sees them.
* Idk what to put in between so let’s skip ahead to when they’ve arrived at a spot out in the open wilderness where it’s easier to star gaze. He sets up the trunk bed to be comfy and reveals he had a cooler and basket of food for them to have a night picnic under the stars.
* After they’ve eaten some, one thing leads to another, and then Lamb pulls Narinder into a kiss. They both confess and spend the rest of their time cuddling (until Lamb gets a phone call from their very nervous moms because of how late it’s getting and they’re not home yet lol)
* I have more ideas but to sum them up for now: The rest of this AU is just Narilamb long distance relationship angst & fluff. Eventually the Bishops move back to the small town and then it’s not long distance narilamb (and eventual leshycat and whatever else).
* I will say this: Another murder will happen, this time it’s Lamb who commits it. That’s all I’m giving y’all ;))c
#cult of the lamb#cotl AU#cotl modern au#my posts#my headcanons#does it count as headcanons if it’s for an Au???#narilamb#true devotion#tw mention of abuse#tw mention of murder#idk what else to tag#so uh. that’s it I guess lol#maybe I’ll draw something for this maybe I won’t#I do need to clarify side characters’ ages and also develop their place in the story more#and then actually. you know#get to the actual MODERN part of this#I mean it’s more modern than the game’s time but it’s still like. 2011 in what I talked about at the end there#I’m operating off of imaging The Lamb is about 6 years older than me okay that’s how I’m doing this lol#*imagining#keep on doing that typo lately#is it a typo if I just forget how the word is spelled???
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Killer clowns…+Krusty
I’m getting graded for this.
Anyway, here’s more for this project.
Yeah, it’s bad quality, I had to take a photo of my phone work area.
#idk how to tag this#shit post#art the clown#pennywise#killer klowns from outer space#clown movies#krusty the clown#yes I had to draw a Halloween parody in my table of contents for my art project about killer clown movies#It’s important don't you know#but yeah uh#I may have unintentionally quit the Alastor mom week thing#I can't draw every day if I have a prompt#I’ll just draw other mpreg or some shit#anyways enjoy#i guess idk#I’m taking an art class hence why I made this since I don't normally draw clowns#My ‘boyfriend’ brags about being related to one of the Pennywise actors; don't ask for details since I don't know#Unrelated note but still.#I’m bored so oops
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Thoughts about Gabriel ultrakill and the heavenly council
okay okay okay okay okay so
i’m assuming this is referring to the tags i rbed that one post with so. youngings avert your eyes maybe idk how deranged i’ll get while typing this
gabriel ultrakill has such an impossible appeal to me and i’m going to attempt to put it into words
first of all. look at him. he’s so fucking pretty it’s insane have you seen that guy he’s beautiful in a way i can’t wrap my head around
he acts the way he acts he gets beat for the first time ever literalky ever by a machine and falls in love with it but mistakes that love for hatred and then when he reports back to the council they blame him for getting his ass handed to him like hello ???? you can’t just do that to him this is not what this post is supposed to be about im getting off topic
the way he acts his character his flow hsi jehevrnrgehrgrgrhuuuuuggaggggggggghh he triggers such a primal carnal desire within me that i’ve not felt my entire life until i witnessed him do you fucking grasp how much just how much i need to just be Near him do you understand how much i want to just hold his hand or to grab his stupid tiny little waist i want to place my hands on him in any kind of way okease oh my god please i need to cling to him i NEED to watch him do common normal things like twisting a doorknob or tie a knot oh my god i need to see him tie a knot you know how you have to pull the strings taut i need ti see him di that i need to see him lift something slightly heavy i need to watch him throw something into the air and catch it or alternatively i need to see him almost not catch it and do that jolt thing people do when they almost drop something to catch it i need to see him do that i need ti see him grip something i need to watch him stand up from a sitting position i need to watch him forget the direction he’s supposed to be going in and then do that weird pause and glance around before turning around and speed walking in the opposite direction i need to see him pick up a spherical object and watch the way his hands wrap around it i need to watch him reach around to try and grab something slightly out of reach
i need to jump on him i need to cling to him i need to climb all over that guy i need to feel the ridge of his spine i need to watch his adam’s apple shift as he swallows or speaks i need to watch his throat do that when it’s like you know when you lean your head back and the skin over your neck is pulled taut and the movement of yiur throat is much more significant i need to see him do that i need to watch him preen his wings i would collect his shed feathers and keep them in a little box or put them on a necklace and he’d be like Why Do You Have Those and i’d be like 😊😊😊😊😊😊 i think his wings are so fucking pretty i also think they’d be warm like they change temp depending on his mood notmally they’d be relatively warm like a heated blanket enraged they’d be like the temp of the surface of the sun and ecstasy they’d be even hotter donyou get me
there are so many things i think about him i have no words for them i just think he’s so catastrophically attractive ok in every way possible my view on him varies all the time sometimes i’m like Wow I’d Really Like To Be Friends With That Guy and other times i’m like I NEED HIM IN ME ummmmmm thats
okay getting only slightly more unhinged i’ll cut it here just in case cause we’re enterying hornypost territory
do you understand the amount of lust my body contains for gabriel ultrakill i would love to be pinned down by that guy by the shoulders or to have his hand run along the length of my spine or against my jaw i need to press my body up against his i don’t care how i just need to Touch him i NEED to hear that archangel whimper (<- listened to the gabriel whimpering audio clips 67 times) i need that guy down my throat uhhhhmmmmmm yeah i’m cutting that one short it seems my rational mind has finally kicked in
have fun reading my category 7 autism event
#ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#oopsies !#haha unmmmmm#that’s okay#suggestive#i’d add more tags but#uh#| okay i had to edit all tags from this one forward in because someone walked in my room as i was typing#and i frantically hit post to get it off my screen#as i was saying#id ad more tags but this little tangent here absorbed so much of my brains ability to describe things#but hey#if i have another wet dream about gabriel tonight i’ll keep you guys posted j guess#i’m sorry#matryx speaks#mail
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this was from a long time ago but i haven’t posted much abt dr so. is this something. did anyone have this idea yet
#please don’t flame me i do not ship sora and nya#if it is kinda weird tell me n i’ll take it down#i also don’t know if this crush on older siblings slash counsellor thing actually happens or if it only happens in fiction#but whatever they’re fictional#shoutout to squib#ignore the uh. 6am#i did not remember it being 6am#i haven’t posted anything in so long so take this i guess#is ninjago tumblr still like. alive#i haven’t seen much but also everyone i follow has moved on and i don’t really check the tag so i hope so#ninjago#lego ninjago#sora ninjago#ninjago sora#nya ninjago#ninjago nya#dragons rising#ninjago dragons rising#i don’t think i have to tag spoilers it’s been long enough
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Every day I find out another person I care about in some way is a terrible person why the hell do I keep getting attached to horrible people—
Warning: descriptions of some of the said horrible people below, read the tw tags if you need them.
One friend suddenly started to be homophobic when they got comfortable enough with me, another started to get super pissed off if I ever had to end a conversation earlier than three hours and would constantly want me to solve all their problems, another I thought was cool until I found out they’d been being racist on twitter and I couldn’t see it cause I don’t have a twitter account, another (an adult) followed me and was friends with me when I was a teenager and literally waited until I was 18 to start hitting on me, multiple people I tried to make friends with in a couple different fandoms I’ve found out were writing and circulating CP or just in general porn addicted, and another started up drama that included using a friend’s trauma they opened up about as reference to write and draw CP and cheating on their spouse, a couple ended up saying transphobic shit around me, I recently found out one was racist enough to be calling for death to people, one of my old middle school friends turned into a complete dick in high school and I found out recently is in jail—
And even outside of people I’ve actually known personally, it seems like every musician, artist, YouTuber, actor etc. are all either dying or rapidly being outed as absolutely horrible of all kinds and it’s just fucking disheartening man.
I’m getting genuinely paranoid of talking to or trusting people at all lately, it’s been insane. I don’t even wanna use instagram anymore and tumblr hasn’t been all that much better tbh. I’m starting to lose all motivation for anything too.
Shit’s just fucked up.
#vent post#cw vent#tw vent#text post#tw horrible people#tw manipulation#tw pedophila mention#tw cp mention#incoherent rambling#tw homophobia mention#tw transphobia mention#tw rasicm mention#idk what to tag this tbh#I’ll probably just delete it eventually#but fuck mannnn#my social life has not been great as of late#I’ve got a couple friends still#I need to talk to people more often but I’m just so stressed out#I don’t know why I attract horrible people all the time I don’t do shit man :’(#why do people just randomly feel like I’m a safe place to be a bigot around#I’m just gonna uh. draw The Guy about it if I can I guess#haven’t had much art motivation either lately#ugh everything sucks#I’ve had to block way too many people
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I can go on that ramble about the future and housing and aromanticism though now. It’s like man, the future is already something that is so inconceivable to me. To then have the sexuality that does not allow me to slot in the cookie cutter you find a romantic partner that you end up moving in with is terrible. And like In this economy I sure can’t live alone, and I know at least when I’m sick I desperately want someone to be there. And then there’s I’m likely to move around a bunch how do you deal with that housing, other than the work having paid housing. like constantly having to find somewhere that’s looking for roommates and it isn’t terrible? And then long term, when I find a job I stay at for a while (that’s remote so I’d love to live in a remote place) is it like I find a place to stay and then I’m stuck there forever and I just have to hope that I make good friends at this new place. (Friends that don’t want to live exclusively with a romantic partner no less.) I want to live with close friends so bad and I’m not sure if that’s a feasible thing for my future. I’m a person that has so much hope so I have to assume that yes it will work out, I do believe that. But man just hearing someone mention it, sparks that hope.
#… vaguely related other way too personal ramble#I need to try so hard to keep my friends for a long time. I want it so much#but I’ve never had close friends till now and once I went to a different period in my life the friends I had were gone#and Ive made really close friends now in college and one day I was talking with one of them on a walk home and mentioned still being friend#in 5 years. and they were like that’s not happening this friendgroup isn’t sticking together that long and they were right#at least for them specifically they were the one that came back worse and it’s a big group#there are most definitely different groups inside it and that makes me worry if once I finish college I’ll still chat with them at all#and oh hey tying this into another thought I had earlier… I’m planning on studying abroad next semester (that’s the application I’m procras#inating rn lol) and I’ll be like 8 hours in the future and I guess that’ll be the ultimate test on if I can really keep friends#a trial run before I graduate#and I won’t let this thinking of the future ruin my time now I know that doesn’t help but still.#well… actually summer sorta also is a trial run. and I still talked with them just less often and in a different way… it’s gonna be okay#this is a post i made#uh I am bad at tagging if things are vent posts or not#vent#oh I completely forgot to put the online part of the tag ramble! Ive made quite a few friends online and we talk for a while and I love the#and then it’s a every once in a while going hey I still care about you but I can’t hold a conversation for the life of me#and now there’s. you know who. who I care about so much and we say things I never imagined people saying about me#and I am so scared? (… sure) that that’s gonna go the same way. and I’m not sure reassurance on any of this will really help I think it’ll#just be I will only be less scared of the future as time passes and it’s proven to be wrong#mh hit the I want to keep this all inside and not let this out to not make other people think about it thing#… okay now I need to make a joke that is so tonal whiplash cause uhhh okay siffrin#… I need to go to sleep it’s late I’m sure that’s why all these feelings are being brought up… ’I’m fine’ as great role model siffrin says#… but it doesn’t feel real that people care about me. that I do actually have an impact. that I’m actually a note in someone’s story#I know it logically everyone I’ve ever known is part of me but it’s so hard to imagine that applies to me in others#okay I’m gonna go shower and go to sleep. I wanna say ignore this post but that’s not a good idea I don’t think#though just talking into the void does help a lot. I’m great at talking myself into believing that things are a okay if I just talk about i#… this wasn’t supposed to be a vent or be so long geez
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