#uh do got a headache
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Just remembered I have a bomb ass recipe for milk bread and should make some
#day musings#today while I was volunteering#Someome was making bread#The kind with yeast#and oh my gods#How I have missed the smell of that#should make lots of yeast bread this summer#also am feeling emotionally better#uh do got a headache#but p sure thats from being bent over peeling these teeny lil onions
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hi gabg what the fuck why did i wake up at 2am anyways whatever more tunner doodles go
#sprunki tunner#sprunki#tunner sprunki#why do i keep drawing him i dont know#These were over the span of one day btw i was BUSY yesterday#I got such a bad headache rn it feels like i just got shot in the hea- wait /FLUNG#Erm final notes i need this guy DEAD wai /FLUNG 2#Ok ok ok yeah im done with tags uh gehehehe skips away spilling water all over the place
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if this account is still active by college expect updates about my situationship (my rivals/enemies to lovers girlfriend i made up in my head weeks ago)
#i met this girl?? she’s so nice she’s my partner in a few of our classes#help she offered to study with me#theatre class !! i’ll post updates 🫶🏽 im GETTING that lead role#oh i didn’t know she also wanted to audition for this role#oh.#she just?? patronized me?? what#i take it back !! she is not nice and i do not like her <3#she’s so fucking annoying all because she made 2 points higher than me bfr#she spilled her coffee on me in the hallway. i don’t even have a change of clothes#i hate her sm#im being forced to partner with her for the project what 🙁 i will commit#im going to go crazy we actually have to work together i hate working with her okgfjhfjfhf#update: we’re at her dorm because she insisted on not wanting to go to mine kms#WHY IS SHE BEING SO UNCOOPERATIVE. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT PROJECT im sonfucking. she’s so annoying#we js got done arguing over who was going to do the writing (im doing the writing 🫶🏽)#im about to go back to my own dorm this is giving me a headache. i literally cannot do this anymore#update: so uh#guess who got laid
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My aunt decided a good way to wish me a happy birthday would be to text me a picture of me & my dead dad from my 22nd birthday.
Like yay thanks, I totally wanted to be sad and missing my dad on my birthday. I definitely wasn't trying to do the "out of sight out of mind don't think about sad things" thing to get through it without crying or anything 👍 Definitely wasn't already struggling missing not getting a happy birthday text from him 👍👍
#and like I get that her intentions were good but i find it SO rude#why would you bring up something heart wrenchingly sad to someone on their birthday? Unless they've indicated to you that they want that#it wasn't even like it was a new picture/one she could reasonably believe I hadn't seen before#we literally used a cropped version of that exact photo for his obituary#she has done something similar with EVERY SINGLE holiday since he died#fathers day & his birthday & thanksgiving & christmas all of them we got texts like “i know how hard today must be!”#like uh no i was doing fine til I got your text actually cuz I was blocking it all out & now your text has forced me to think about it#we're not even that close? Like she legit had never texted me before my dad died#and the last conversation I had with her was her telling me that me needing help with things was co-dependence#rather than a legit need because I am disabled#and that keeping my curtains closed all the time was unhealthy#and when I tried to explain sensory issues she said that she 'gets headaches from the sun sometimes too but you just have to power through'#as if that's the same thing as sensory issues from autism#(which she is apparently an expert on because she is a nurse and has worked with a few young boys with autism)#like literally she claimed she knew better than my actual doctor who diagnoses autism for a living#or my therapist who sees me twice a week (whereas i speak to my aunt MAYBE once a year)#oh also did you know that I should totally be able to hold down a full time job?#because the 18 year old autistic boy she knows whose parents do literally everything to support him and who has zero other responsibilities#and a huge support network trying to meet his needs#well HE'S able to work part time at the movie theater#so obviously that means that I should be able to work too because we're all the same#yeah anyway sorry rant over#it just really upset me#also because I was so upset I forgot I wanted to go to the park on my way home from the weed store 😔#beth posts
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New school attendance rules (that are stupid as fuck) being published has me learning people didn't even know that the UK fines people for their kids not being in school unauthorized???
#i...i....yeah to anyone who didnt know#we do#this country is obsessed with school attendance#if its not authorized your fucked#hell even if authorized aka your carer did phone for you and shit#depending how many you have it can stack up and they'll get sus#and you'll get in trouble even then#like the new rules alone are increasingly making it clear if your not authorized you can get bankrupt depending how many kids you have#which yes makes the new rules abelist as fuck and also only rich people will survive it#hell if the schools cant fine you they'll at least make you feel shame#as my school had a form system where at the end of each term a form will be rewarded for the best attendance#so rip if you were the fucker that took i dunno one or two days off for sickness or whatever#because you just costed your form room the award and the classmates know it and will look at you#source: me who had to take sick days off#hell snow days you wont free at my school#my roads and pathways were iced so i couldnt go in#but noooo according to my head of year i should have tried cause he hunted all of us who took the day off and interograted us#and if our excuse wasnt good enough for him we were told off#and they'd literally encourage you to only take sick day off if your throwing up#my head of year literally said he dont care if we got a headache or small cough or sniffle just come in#...huh wonder how they did during 2020...#but yeah attendance in the UK in terms of schools is fucking strict#(also if your curious they did send us home if we were bad-bad#i got sent home once i think??? i dont recall much of that school for my own sanity#but i badly burnt my hand in DT via a soldering iron and i had to go home and the doctors and return to school#with a hand i couldnt write with which was my writing hand so um#yeah i couldnt work much until it recovered...well my english teacher forced me to write with my non-writing hand but#and one girl got sent home for throwing up on the stairs#and another from my limited memories for falling down the stairs which uh were stone in a way so um#(i fell up those stairs somehow once...didnt get sent home but i missed english so) they had no choices sometimes)
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Really gotta finish and elaborate on this chart of 'natural' Zeti powers and how they work because not only is it really important to my headcanons/personal Zeti lore but it's also really, really important to Sonic Pantheon
Because (in the au) each of the D6 has developped their own specialty and aside from Zor (and Zavok but only kinda) it's based entirely on this
#sonicrambling#zavok's whole thing is fire and heat which is partially an elemental ability he just *has* but also relies on plasma & radiation control#master zik & zomom both use magnetism#tho master zik is exceptionally good at it and zom is just starting to get to a level where it could be useful in combat#zazz can generate a (small) amount of electricity#and i do mean small#zeena has like. opinokinesis lite?#like a verrrrrry light version of it#she can mess with people's senses a tiny bit and maybe like. give you a headache or something#and then zor has the dark ancient forbidden powers he was cursed with by the leader of the death cult he grew up in#so uh yeah fun stuff#the whole point of this is for the d6 to walk up to sonic like “hey we got new powers and shit now”#“anyway you have 5 seconds to explain why the outer hex just entered a new ice age before we fucking kill you”
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adding this to the list of Severely fucking stupid absrad deaths
BUT!! (under cut so as to not Clog)
we fucking got there in the end baby
(did a couple tries for radiant, then was Swept Away by the Migraine. We’ll get there.)
#z talks#hk#hollow knight#uhhhh. yeah i sat and played for like 6 hours (with a lunch break). relevant is also that i Slept for 6 hours (max).#and the whole day i had a headache sneaking up on me and i was like. Nooooo it’d just a tension headache I don’t have any migraine symptoms#(voice of guy who’s stubbornly ignoring their light and sound sensitivity to keep fighting absrad)#And then eventually it. Got so bad i couldnt focus on the game anymore. And i was like. Ok thats it no more game.#And then went to pick up a package (literal 300m walk) Both bc it was the last day to pick it up And to be like ok. If this is a tension -#- headache itll get Better. If it’s a migraine itll get Worse.#I’m fine the walk THERE. But then about halfway home it’s fucking Go Time for the migraine lmfaoooooo#(it was also Hot. and Sunny.)#by the time i got home i was like a solid. 9. on the uh. 1-10 pain scale. GREAT.#anyway then i took my prescription sumatriptan BELOVED and it got better within the hour and now im down to like a . 1-2#which is so insanely good like. that never happens to me even when i DONT have a migraine. LMAO#anyway. this has been the fucking. Daily ted talk about my chronic migraine#dont worry a 9 isnt. Well it is a lot. But it’s not NEW .#happens occasionally#it hurts a Fucking Lot#i didnt even clock it as a 9 at first i was like. god… why would an 8 hurt this bad…#and then i iced my head for 15 minutes and it got better and i could think better and was like. wait no THIS is the 8. THAT was a NINE#im just glad i have fucking medication for it now#before i had to survive on PARACETAMOL. didnt do jack shit#had i not had the sumatriptan i Would still be in that much pain and probably writhing in bed unable to sleep lmfao#unmedicated chronic migraine Not Fun. do not try at home.
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So was anyone gonna tell me that too much caffeine can worsen depression or was I supposed to figure that out for myself after sipping too much 'self-loathing bastard' juice?
#personal#ive been deep in my feels the last few days#and ive been sitting here like where the fuck is this even coming from i cut out all the stressors hello#am i just predisposed to hate myself forever???#no#ive been having too much cold brew#and i know this because i wake up today with an obnoxious ass headache as if im having caffeine withdrawals#even though i had a latte yesterday just not the cold brew#the cold brew thats got waaaaaaaay more caffeine per serving than the latte (and i usually end up having about two servings in one go)#and you know what? the self-loathing bastard energy just aint slapping today somehow#just the damn headache and some vague queasiness#(and annoyance at how my new curtains for my room are doing a piss poor job of staving off the evil hate orb but that's a different thing)#and its like okay i know caffeine can worsen anxiety and it can have the opposite expected effect for folks with adhd#is there a link with depression too?#studies say...yeah there might be a link especially if youre already predisposed to it#so uh#yeah today i learned i guess#i need to take that snide self-deprecating remark off my sideblog too...whoops
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I wrote that post earlier because I’ve been feeling horribly, horribly depressed for all of this whole week without being able to say anything about it to my IRLs for fear of judgement and now I’m sitting here like, “Wait, is it because of my actual mental disorder or is because I’ve been the most physically ill I’ve been in a long while almost this entire week?”
#personal#Is it the mental ill or the physical ill doing the talking?#Anyway I have to go back to work tomorrow no exceptions and I’m uh NOT ready LMAO.#Like I’m still sick. You can tell in my voice for sure but I’m not dying so I guess that doesn’t matter.#Decided it’s just a sinus infection even though I got no clue where the headache/dizziness was coming from.#Even though if it’s just an SI it was a BAD one. I haven’t been this sick since the first time I got COVID. 🥲
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…. Do artists get notified when you use their music in a YouTube short? Cuz…. I’d be… one on hand I hope they like the art, on the other - panic
#did I use a vocaloid cover by a vtuber I like on the recent speedpaint? yes#cuz I’m a nerd#if you don’t know this by now#rip you#I’m a proud goof#who would probably be a vtuber too if I had the shit to handle that#shit I’d stream with a png if I had the shit to handle that#talking while doing art or editing would be way more fun#well k liek the quiet time#but I like talking to y’all to do having more chat would be fum#however I have An Laptop#anyways#uh#pretty voice sing good and did a cover of a song that j liked but as a vocaloid song gave me a headache#then pretty man was like I Got You#so I listen to it a lot#his vampire cover also rules#as does his bad guy/showman original song#I’m cringe and trying to be proud alright leave me be
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it's lophelia time :)
she is Tall, she is always smirking, and she's bad at everything but arcana, reading mindflayer sigils, and eldritch blast, and i love her SO much and i can't wait to watch cthulhu and the mindflayers get in a slap fight over her
#//juri speaks#juri's bg3#oc: lophelia#one day when i do not have a headache lurking around i shall get you farther than i ever got in ea...#also i uh. really need to replace the thermal paste in my pc lol
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have a horrible headache and usually headaches are a combo of things (esp not eating/sleeping enough) which could be the reason i have one today but. also i smoked thu which was 2 days ago and usually i get a headache 2 days after smoking. and im just. i already wrote a diary entry talking abt it and how i feel guilty and bad for like a million different reasons but now i'm also just incredibly frustrated w myself bc why do i do this!!!!!!!!!!!! i can go weeks and months w/o smoking i don't NEED to do this!!!!!
#smoking#tw smoking#havilah's thoughts#addiction#tw addiction#nicotine#like i feel like i Know that i can just not smoke idk why i sometimes do it anyway bc it's literally only negatives#i've never had a.... i guess a 'strong' smoking habit? like usually it is weeks and v often it is months btwn cigs#i just sometimes get mad and wanna do Smth that will make me feel more bad but also kinda better????????? it doesn't make sense i know#this time i felt Particularly guilty bc just a little bit ago i was hanging out w my friend and he hugged me and told me he's glad i haven'#been smoking a lot lately and a buncha nice things i'll keep to myself but. i just. and then i got home and had a letter from my grandma#that was so so sweet and my grandma used to smoke and she quit before i was born and she used to tell me when i was a kid how horrible it i#and now i have a headache and i /hate/ headaches and it felt dirty and i felt slimy for hiding it from my roommate n for feeling like i was#lying to ppl that care abt me#i know i felt calm too. i know it somewhat feels nice. the sensation is diff from anything else and i like it. i know i sometimes need to d#smth that feels. like. drastic and like it's gonna kill me w/o killing me#but it just. i KNOW that it's not worth it later!!!!!!! i know that i feel horrible and the negatives outweigh the positives by a lot!!!!!!#but i never throw away the pack. it's like. idk. idk what to do to just Not do it.#anyway uh. lemme put additional warnings for what i ended up saying in the tags#suicide#suicidal ideation#depression#i guess idk. just covering my bases i guess so ppl don't see smth they don't wanna see
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Didn't you find it funny? :(
you'll have to be more specific, anon jdjdsjjs
#going to sleep tho so i probably wont reply fhsjsnsns#i got a couple of anons but im having bad headache exhaustion day#also i got over the idea that i NEED to answer asks before remaking my blog cause uh#getting 50 a day does that to a person#so while i appreciate every anon that isn't calling me names fhsbsns i do not feel the pressure to always reply#i usually do! but sometimes i don't have anything to say and i don't want my blog to just be answering sphere#its my lil corner of the internet with Pictures And Gifsets#so i will be answering some older asks during the weekend#but yeah actually not sure what you're referring to here 😭
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ohhh the paranoia hitting BAD tonight
#got a twxt from work. girl i was with all day apparently tested positive for covid. so uh. now i am panicking at every small thing wrong#my throat is not sore but i keep thinking it is. my arms r sore but thats bc i do physical labor as a job.#i have a headache but like. i always have one of those#took loki outside and . its raining and dark and usuallt thats fine#but the good ol coat in someones window looks like a person standing there looking at me hit#and then cars were driving by rlly slow (bc of the rain)#and there was a car. parked in front of my apartment#just. in the road not in a space or anytbing just. in front of my door#so i liteally just. ran by w loki and locked the door real fast#and when i got inside uh. had the awful urge to turn off all lights and shut blinds and#looking @ mirrors is freakin g me out now. so thags fun#literallt took the one off fmy closet door bc i can see it from bed. ive neverdone that before there is sometning Wrong with me#head in hands.#i feel like. jonThan sims. there r eyes everywhere and it Fucking Sucks. i understand u buddy. hate this#i Do Not Like Feeling Like Im Being Watched this sucks so bad.#and usuallt its fine bc its like. a background noise thing. i can ignore it ! but smth abt tonight is just like. nope yhere r Eyes#feels BAD#im ok i promise just. jumpy hsbdjdbsjsnsbs#tw// vent#i guess. havent tagged a ventoost in a while i dont remember the format
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fun that resolving a good chunk of my issues with damien has caused me to think abt him a lot more. yayy
#damien fletcher#salty talks#mostly a lot of damibeck stuff but like. its fine. i think he gets headaches a lot#hes also had the uh. privilege. to be in a new gore art idea.#bellum x linebeck gore is like dramatic and with symbolism and whatnot and damibeck gore is meet the medic stuff#its been stuck in my head these gore ideas idk if its jarring for me to keep mentioning#anyways. damiennnnn. guy whos fine but actually not. he feels like a cozy character. hes nice#i should make more damibeck aus. i think ive just got one. i should do that to play with the ship a little more#i keep clinging to them being childhood friends as Necessary but i should try to do some stuff without that#yyeah
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I'm worried abt my ass being pre-diabetic but in order to check I need to go outside and get my labs done but going outside is still really hard for me. I just recently gotten comfortable existing in my room again 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#rae speaks into the void#I haven't had as debilitating of headaches recently either bc I'm literally trying my best to do everything I can not to stress myself out#I don't really think myself as a wimp most of the time but objectively speaking it's really sad that what I can do is so limited#I can't even power thru anything anymore it'll just make my brain shut off with buzzing/zaps#just thinking abt it n facing my reality head on already got my head buzzing idk how to make my tolerance any better 😭😭😭#oh but good news imma watch ina11 with my uh peer support person? from the clinic
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