#I got such a bad headache rn it feels like i just got shot in the hea- wait /FLUNG

[luckycloverfield]

hi gabg what the fuck why did i wake up at 2am anyways whatever more tunner doodles go

[charnelhouse]

Hello Charnie ♡ i am dying on my period rn and it got me thinking. that part in no promises where ghost is sitting next to red and she starts crying from her hangover despite having suffered worse bodily injuries kinda reminded me of myself. I've gotten some pretty decent injuries and usually didn't cry. But my period cramps? Lord help me. They will absolutely bring me to the floor crying and whimpering, I don't know what it is about them. But it made me want to write a lil soft simon thing (him and red aren't together yet but I'm tying in golden net and how ghost can always sense when red is in pain)(ghost is in a bad mood for no given reason)(this is so very long im sorry):

It's late as ghost walks down the halls of the barracks. Everyone is already asleep in their small rooms, the only noise is the rasp of his boots and the slight buzz of the florescent lights above. Simon walks quickly, heavily. He wants to go to bed, be done with this hellish day that he'd only grown more sick of as it went on. He tries to curb his agitation, settle his mind if he wants to even have a shot at sleeping.

Sleeping never comes easy for him.

He sighs deep, tries to roll out his muscles as he walks. He tries to curb his sour mood, put a stop to his tension, but his mind swirls with his aggravations, each trying to take center stage in his mind, whooshing around, on the verge of giving him a goddamn headache and—

Suddenly he feels a pull in his chest, in his tummy. His mind abruptly goes quiet. He realizes he's approaching Red's door. Red. Red. He hasn't seen Red all day. He and Price got sent out early, early even for the military, and they hadn't been back till now. He hasn't seen Red all day. The pull gets stronger, he walks faster. Had she been sent out today? Did she return with any injuries? He doesn't like the sensation in his body.

He's now square at her door. His hand twitches at his side, he doesn't want to risk waking her up, but... he hasn't seen her all day. If he could just lay eyes on her, look at her and see she's alright, that'd satisfy him.

He turns the knob and her door opens, and even though it's given him access to what he wanted, now he wants to scold her. Why is your door unlocked? You can't get too comfortable, red, always lock your door. Because it's dangerous and stupid—

His annoyance dissolves instantly when he does finally lay eyes on her. Her little bedside lamp is on, she's all curled in on herself, brows furrowed, fists all balled up. He knows that form, she's hurt, he knew it. She didn't even hear him enter, only opening her eyes and looking towards him once she hears the door shut behind him.

He sees her eyes. There's exhaustion and tears  in them. His stomach drops. It must be bad if she's crying, Foxy's a trooper, she doesn't cry.

"Oh, hi Lieutenant." Her voice sounds weak, unfilled. "How was your guys mission today?"

"Are you hurt?" Disregarding her question, he strides over to her.

She starts to rise and prop herself up, trying to discreetly wipe her face and eyes as she does. "Umm.. no. I mean, not really. I'm fine." She gives him a weak smile.

"You look hurt, Red. What's wrong?" He can't believe she's really trying to lie to him when it's so clear something  is hurting her.

"It's nothing! I'm fine, it's nothing—"

There's more hushed arguing over her obviously false statements. She finally gives it up to him: alright Lt alright. I'm just on my period, that's all, I'm fine. I'm just.. hurting a little from it.

It takes him by surprise. Her period? Cramping has her like this..? Granted, he's a man, what would he know, but... the girl had taken bullets, been sliced open, beaten and bruised. And sure, he had seen her eyes water, anybody's would, but she didn't cry. How bad must these cramps be?

Her voice pulls him out of his thoughts, "Yeah, that's all. But I can't sleep. This off-brand Advil is not working," she chuckles to herself, rubbing a hand over her forehead. "I'd kill for a heating pad."

He quirks his brows. "A heating pad?" He asks lamely.

"Mhm," she gives him a little nod, gestures to her back and hips, "the heat, it feels nice. It helps."

He looks over her again. Her body looks tired. Her sheets and blankets are all tussled about her bed. He wonders how long she's been trying to get comfortable, alleviate the pain. Heating pad. Heat. It feels nice. It helps. He doesn't think they have that on the base. He hates that this pain is keeping her up, she needs to sleep. He moves to her before thinking.

"Here— lay on your stomach for a minute." She gives him a questioning look. "Just do it, Red."

He's at the side of her bed, putting one knee up on it. "Here." Hesitantly, carefully, he splays his palms over her lower back and hips. She tenses slightly at the contact, but then the warmth of his palms seeps through her sleeping shirt, melting onto the skin underneath. She relaxes and sinks, lets out a little moan that he tries so very hard not to fixate on and amplify in his mind.

"Oh my god. Ghost that feels so nice," she breathes out.

He smiles, just a little, under his mask. He's always run hot, much to his own discomfort, but right now it's useful. He's making her feel better. Something is ballooning in his chest.

After a minute, she speaks. "It would feel nice if your hands were right on my skin." She must of realized what she said because she quickly tries to backtrack, "But you don't have to, I was just- it'd just-"

She's so naive. She's got no clue. He'd never deny her anything.

He pushes her shirt up to the middle of her back. Her pretty skin, her battle scars, exposed to him. He's never seen this part of her and she looks like art, sculpted and beautiful. Figures.

He sets his hands back down on her, on to her bare skin. She's warm and so fucking soft. She's so small under him, his large hands on her body. His breath hitches. He tells his brain to knock it off, this is about making Red feel better. That's the mission right now.

She shifts under him trying get his hands where she wants them. He lets her, sinking them in when she finds the spot. He rubs little circles into her with his thumbs.

"There you go, love. Relax." Love. Christ, how did she get him like this?

"Thank you Simon," she says quietly, gratefully. She takes in a deep breath, her body relaxes further. She's got her eyes closed, her lashes rest on the curve of her cheek. Her trust of him is so genuine, different than the usual trust you need in the military. It's the dead of night and she trusts him, Simon Riley, enough to be in her room with his hands on her skin. She's vulnerable, and she trusts him that much. It squeezes at his heart. Ah, that's how.

For a few minutes, he sits with her. Letting his hands drown her muscles and bones with heat. Pressing the rough pads of his fingers into her, gently squeezing her. Occasionally rubbing over the expanse of skin.

"That better Foxy?" No answer. "Foxy?"

He shifts so he can see her face. No tears. No twisted muscles. Good. Her eyes are still closed and she looks peaceful. Breathing steadily.

"You fallin' asleep on me, kid?" He knows he's not getting an answer.

He pulls his hands away from her skin, his body hating the loss of her. He wants to touch her. Hold her. Press his face and lips into her. It pains him to leave her.

But he smooths her shirt back down, covering her from the cold of the room. He pulls the sheets and blankets over her, tucking her in.

He moves up to her nightstand to turn off the light. Her face is half buried in her pillow, knocked out. He smiles at her, he's glad she's not like him, he's glad she can get to sleep easily.

"Goodnight, Red." His hand moves with its own will, pushing her hair off the side of her face that's not buried.

He allows himself to touch her face, just for a moment. The backs of his fingers moving across her cheek. He presses his palm to her, thumb stroking the delicate skin under her eye, a featherlight touch he didn't know he was capable of.

Oh how he ached for her.

He flicks off her light, moving quietly along the tile floor. He casts one more look at her from the doorway and closes the door. Making sure to lock it behind him.

His mind is calm, body no longer carrying its tension, only the sensation of Red's skin under his hands remaining.

Red is asleep, a feeling of accomplishment warmly washes over him. And for the first time all night, Simon thinks he'll be able to sleep.

Omgggg I could die!!! This was absolute perfection. I desperately have needed some ghost inspo to finish mausoleum and this has done it

The below was so on point. Beyond 141, Red would never trust anyone because of how vulnerable she is in a male dominated profession. Love!!!

Her trust of him is so genuine, different than the usual trust you need in the military. It's the dead of night and she trusts him, Simon Riley, enough to be in her room with his hands on her skin. She's vulnerable, and she trusts him that much. It squeezes at his heart. Ah, that's how.

[ccfever]

why do people feel that cc is gonna get comfortable with the middy overnight? coming off senior year where she also didnt take/get any. she wanted her floater back so she got it during the break. doesnt mean she has this middy first mindset now. i guess i understand why people are saying they want her to take over when her teammates arent shooting the ball well. be a little selfish, not “disappear in the 4th” fine i get that. but in the whole 3 quarters i feel like her teammates were shooting well so she was feeding who was hot, it makes sense to me that shes not gonna give up on her teammates here. same thing people were saying at the beginning of the season like hello how was she gonna get her teammates to trust her if ms superstar ms new to the league goes fuck it when they missed every time, shes gonna keep passing - getting her teammates involved. which def helped her teammates and coaches buy into her. so now she has developed a little bit of a pass first mindset. plus with the fact that she hadnt been shooting well, prob in her head about it, i wouldnt be surprised. last night she passed up an open middy, she didnt notice, hesitant to shoot in the 4th, big whoop. she’ll get better and shes gonna have her time eventually where she feels like she can take over and its fine. i cant imagine where she takes more shots and more shots in the 4th while not in rhythm, not hot, bc her teammates arent shooting. maybe ppl just mean they want a balance of it, like at least she tried. idk (also ppl saying that oh she doesnt wanna be blamed for losses so she disappears in the 4th, okay dumb, but ms offensive load at iowa, blamed for losses at iowa, if thats the reason shes in her head about it, cant say that i care. seems like a coaching issue, she’ll get better )

i didn’t read the entire thing bc i have a headache but during that 4th quarter cc made all the right basketball plays except for that middy she gave up. so i’m not going to crucify her for that (now that i’m more level headed).

kelsey was literally chucking up shots and left us with like 9 straight possessions without scoring. and during the 4th quarter you can see caitlin asking for the ball but they refuse to swing it back to her. it’s like watching the early season fever.

so when caitlin gave up the ball late in the 4th when aliyah offered it i’m convinced it’s because she’s pissed af. she even mentioned in the postgame presser that the team’s offense in the 2nd half was stagnant and bad.

i do want to see her be more selfish and say fuck you to the entire roster and just call her own number. but she’s not like that and if she misses that’s on her. she’ll always want to do the right play that will guarantee them the win.

i need a coaching staff that will challenge her to take over late. that will put her in the position to succeed at that. because they never run her plays. and i’m sure christie sides dgaf that caitlin’s being passive. she keeps using cait as a decoy in her late game plays and it pisses me the fuck off. i hate this team rn man. i still want them to get rid if the geriatric gm and braindead coach. it’s getting fucking annoying

[nikatyler]

Zeph 1.0

in other news we continue clowning for Astarion and letting him drink from us

(x)

Right so I don't know what or who to believe anymore in this goddamn game

I say goddamn but I still love it don't get me wrong

(x)

mum come pick me up i'm scared

now tell me why tf did i rush here with no spell slots left

yeah we're fucked, reload 💀

(x)

i may be a monster

(x)

I'm starting to get a headache but I wanna keep playing 🥴

Hyperfocus this, hyperfocus that, what about "I'm fully aware I should be doing something else or else I will suffer greatly but I can't stop and it's worth the pain" kinda focus

(x)

*You notice the blood's source* *Astarion approves* okay thanks??? 😂

(x)

"Can you imagine dressing entirely in red?" I'm not saving your ass when I create Ross for my next playthrough smh

(x)

I felt really really really bad about this and thought I was making a big mistake (I probably was 💀) but seeing only 7 % of players unlocked this? Yeah that's cool. Or maybe not. Idk I feel bad 💀

(x)

Trying to take down the bitch evil vampire again

Am I struggling? Mayhaps

We are Fucked™ lmao (that's a lmao of big pain not lmao of this is hilarious)

Alright let's try again

How do y'all not get attached and just play and stay cool because it's just a game. I'm 👌 this close to ugly rage crying lol stop being mean to my boy leave him alone stay away from him get a job

Not now duo dammit

...fuck

Yeah no I'm reloading and I'm just gonna fuck around the city a bit, I can't do this rn 💀

Okay so the strategy of 1) just go there 2) try not to die is not working too well in the big fights in act 3 for me 💀 oh well I'll try harder I guess

(x)

they need a pair of glasses smh

(x)

So I'm seriously considering throwing 2 weeks of gameplay in the trash just to get a better shot at a romance but…now I'm thinking about some tedious parts and ehhh 🫠

Is he worth it? He is worth it. Right?

Lmao I don't remember the last time a fictional character had a grasp on me like that. It's rather embarrassing really 💀 I'm too old to act like this aren't I 💀

(x)

Actually considering how bad today has been, reloading that far will probably Fix Me™ so I'm doing that right after a little afterwork nap

And if it turns out to be pointless or a bad idea I can always just switch back to the furthest point in the storyline I got, I won't overwrite that save

(x)

Sacrificing about 42 hours of gameplay 🫡 it's been an honor but I need the vampire's love more than oxygen. Reloading now 🫡

And I'm making sure to actually finish some quests I didn't the first time *cough* the shadow curse *cough*

(x)

I put him in Karlach's clothes...for science

(x)

HELP I'VE BEEN LAUGHING AT THIS FOR FIVE MINUTES NOW

(x)

I need to pickpocket people more. In the game I mean. Every time I succeed, I get a good giggle out of it 🤭

(x)

organ rearranger you say...can i...can i say something...

Okay we're all adults here right I can say it. Minors look away this isn't a safe space for you

Well let's just say I stole this for someone and he can rearrange my organs anytime okay byeeeeeeee

Well technically he stole it himself I just giggled with my finger ready on f8 in case things go badly 🤭

(x)

Okay so I just found that one reason why some things weren't going well for me was simply because I don't long rest enough in the game 💀

(x)

Me when I first started playing bg3: I hope there's a way to avoid a lot of combat, I hope I'll be able to just talk my way through Me now: woooo slaughter!! 😗

(x)

Nooo I was like "wooo yeah cutscene finally!!! is it happening?? are we so back???? we're so back amirite" and it's this guy 😭😭 (with all due respect i was hoping for something else 💀)

(x)

and it's only gonna get worse

let's goooooo

(x)

Does this game hate me or what

It's so joever it's so joever I'm just not getting any cutscenes in the camp lmao

My negative rizz is so strong not even videogame characters want me

(x)

You know what? I get her

(x)

WAIT HOLD WE ARE SO BACK

I USED TO PRAY FOR TIMES LIKE THIS *incoherent screaming*

I truly am the embodiment of this meme

I'm not even trying to scream anymore my voice is dead

I can't believe this actually happened so now I'm pretty much spamming the kiss, ignoring everything else

"I play for the plot" she said 🤭

(x)

my game crashed, good thing I save every five seconds otherwise I'd think about jumping off of very tall somethings

okay i actually lost like zero progress, jfc blessed day

(x)

Zeph you're standing way too close lol

(x)

"I'm gonna speedrun the parts I've been through about a week ago," she said, failing to realize she's not a good runner

There's no such thing as speedrunning this game lol. I just want to do everything always. Fight everything and open every crate and loot everyone 🤭

(x)

back to act 3 we go now that i've righted my wrongs 😌😌

(x)

wise words from daddy, wise words indeed

(x)

buddy you have one job

(x)

...okay?

(x)

"watch out for anyone acting STRANGELY" said by the guy who tries to suck your blood on like the first night of camping together but ok love whatever you say 💀

(x)

[swagwinnerslime]

I’m a little upset.

I haven’t always been around my parents.

I grew up pretty consistently.

Some random ass black man was so deep into this shit radiology, that it appeared to be my dad. I feel like that right now, why hasn’t anyone shot this man. Tony went to jail in 2022. I’m sorry no one is giving you that justice, these niggas made a cake for this nigger, I shot her and now she’s working at the mental hospital. No this was a welcome home for you not a birthday. My head hurts so bad rn, just barely got to the biggest source of my headache. Why would you wanna be so connected to my mind…..? I do not wanna go to the Salvation Army. My grandmother is threatening me with that right now. Like damn, you have to sit out in the sun if anything from 7 am to at least 5-7 pm. I think they made a 12 hr rule. Even if you do have a job you have to be gone. I’ll even go as far to say sorry to who I disturbed bc 211 services went on to say they had services today. God damn. I hate hearing Machiavelli say he don’t feel like I’ve been there. Like damn , I have not seen you in so long wtf huh. I did not get wrong with our son, that was some big ass random nigger. Brandi said they would not leave her alone. Idk man ykwim. She may or may not remember telling me that, but yea that woman was creating a toggle and being like that with her. I don’t believe that the way that woman was sweating just sitting down that was her. I miss you and I’m feeling shittay.. right now. Just a reminder Adrian is with Tony’s sister, to myself at the least shit. God I pray this week judge Hagler sets out to get me an attorney, it doesn’t take long for my restitution to process, I don’t have any trouble with credit getting a house and I get in touch with my baby daddy, shit. My son graduated this past year, I was thankful to have been there, sister and her boyfriend brought me back his banner, I hope he knows I appreciate that. I may not, I asked him before we had to move back because they had me come to Texas for restitution and I had to put those couple hundred together so we can make for the best time together, I just want you to know not everyone gets that and I’m thankful my dad isn’t absent during this time of everyone I’ve talked to not having answers, shit lying to me, not offering me a couch to sleep on.

[matt-erialgirl]

How would Matt take care of you when your migraines hit? Sounds like it’s a common occurrence for you babeyy 😞 feel better soon

Awe babes thank you so much ♥️ it’s a shitty but common occurrence indeed. can’t not say that 50% of the times i get them, it’s because im not taking good care of myself so babies PLEASE care for yourselves, your well-being and your bodies ✨

Before I get into this, I’m letting you know rn im basing this off my own experience with migraines. And hey, if you dont get them, I’m so happy for you God bless. If you get them, come cry with me.

Migraines are different for everyone (symptoms, severity, how long they last) but mine make me extremely sensitive to light and sound. Everything is just ten times brighter and ten times louder and the actual headache sits on half my forehead, that same side’s ear, jaw and that whole side of my skull. It can hang around for as long as 48 hours. Turning this into a cute little drabble or whatever because cute

__

Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock.

Every tick sounded louder than the last, each one thudding in your ears with an echo that felt like it was vibrating inside your skull. You laid there, body curled up on the leather sofa, head tucked under a throw pillow to avoid the purple lights pouring into Matt’s living room as your head continued to pound to the sound of the clock; in sync.

You wanted to get up and rip it off the wall but that meant having to pull your head out from the dark and open your eyes; both thoughts sounded absurd to you in your mind. So, you stayed put, squeezing your eyes shut, willing the sounds and lights to fade away.

What felt like hours later, you heard Matt enter the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him only to hear you groan in pain at how loud the slam sounded in your ears.

Matt’s head tilted to follow the sound you made, quickly figuring out that something was wrong. He could hear your heart pounding, your breathing was ragged, your nails scratching against the fabric on his pillows.

”baby?” He whispered gently, piecing his observations together, throwing everything down by the door and discarding his suit jacket on the opposite sofa.

“another migraine?” he breathed as he bent down at his knees to be level with you, his palm gently resting against your back while your head remained under the pillow.

”it’s so bad,” you breathed, barely a whisper, but he heard you. He swiftly got up to his feet, unbuttoning the cuffs of his shirt to roll the sleeves up to his elbows. He made his way to the kitchen, filling a tall glass with water and finding your migraine medication before bringing it all back to you.

He felt bad having to rouse you from your hideout, knowing exactly how terrible you would feel the second the dark was ripped away from you. “try to get up and take this please,” he said gently, keeping his voice down, “I know you probably haven’t.”

Your head pounded harder as you started to move, pushing the pillow off your head and pulling your head out of the corner of the sofa. A small whimper fell from your lips as a searing pain shot through the side of your head, your eyes struggling to open up.

“it’s so bright,” you huffed, squinting to see Matt’s outstretched hands and taking the tablet and glass from him, “thank you, Matty.”

”I’ll be right back,” he said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead before he started flitting around his apartment. You watched him through a crack in your eyes, a small smile making its way to your lips as you realised what he was doing.

Matt switched off every light in sight, the clicking if the switches loud in your ears as he moved quickly between them. Next, he placed a roll of thick cloth tape on the coffee table before he made his way into the bedroom, coming back with three folded blankets.

You watched in silent gratitude as Matt taped the blankets to his large windows, making a note in the back of your mind of the need of actual curtains, even if the windows don‘t bother him.

Without a second thought, he made his way over to the clock on the wall by the bedroom and pulled it down, putting an end to its incessant ticking and relieving it of its batteries. A sigh of relief tumbled out of your lips at the absence of sound. Your head falling back against the sofa, eyes shut.

”what else do you need, baby?” Matt asked gently, coming up to you from behind the sofa and placing his palm gently against your cheek.

”blindfold,” you told him quietly, slowly turning your head to the side and pressing a gentle kiss to the inside of his palm, “it’s in the-“

”bedside table drawer,“ he finished with a nod, gently rubbing his thumb across your temple before pulling away to retrieve the black silk scarf you used specifically for this.

He knew it was because no matter how hard you squeezed your eyes shut, it still felt like you could see and it wasn’t dark enough. But part of him also knew you found relief in the fabric squeezing your temples and pushing against your eyes.

He sat down next to you, scarf in hand, his heart aching at the mere thought of you in pain. He reached out and felt for your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze so you’d get up for him tie the silk around your eyes.

You sat up, eyes closed and facing him. “Okay,” you breathed before Matt pulled the silk up to your eyes. As he brought it around to the back of your head, you leaned forward, placing your forehead against his shoulder so the knot was easier for him to tie.

”Tighter, please,“ you whispered against his shoulder.

Matt obliged, pulling the fabric a little tighter around your head, a sigh falling from your lips as he tied it there.

”Thank you,” you smiled, reveling in the darkness you now found yourself in, the pressure around your head heavenly against the pain.

Matt smiled and pulled you close, slotting you into his side, your legs draped over his thighs and your head in the crook of his neck. His hand went up to run through your hair to lull you to sleep, while the other traced patterns onto your thigh. Slowly, you started to calm down, your breathing getting slower and deeper as you started to drift off, Matt not once leaving your side.

[isthisthingeven0n]

volunteering at its finest : s.r

spencer ‘volunteers’ to babysit henry whilst you and the girls have a needed girls night, except the night lasts a lot longer than any of you anticipated (2.2k)

* also i have an etsy shop where i sell some criminal minds tote bags and prints. if you wanna check it out i’ll leave the link here (i’ve also got a labour day sale happening rn til the 8th!) *

“Please do not tell me you’ve forgotten about girls night that I’ve had in my calendar for the last five weeks?” Penelope focuses on JJ through the monitor who slowly lowers her phone before glancing over to you.

“I, I didn’t forget,” JJ starts, causing both you and Emily to hold your laughs as she tries to ease her way out.

“You don’t sound so sure, J.” You comment, quickly feeling a rolled-up newspaper swatting your arm as you head towards the jet.

“It’s not that I forgot, it’s just the first time Will has been away in months and it just slipped my mind.” JJ tries to reason as you board the jet before you sit down opposite her and Emily, awaiting the wrath of Penelope Garcia once you return to base.

“What slipped your mind?” Spencer pitches in as he sits down beside you, a bright smile crossing his lips as you lean against him. “Hey,” He mutters to you, and JJ glances to Emily, still shocked that the pair of you owned up to your feelings six months ago after pining over one another for two years.

Patting Spencer’s arm lightly, you shrug it off. “Just girls night tonight.” You begin to explain, noticing Spencer furrowing his eyebrows together. “What?”

“I thought we were going to watch the Doctor Who marathon tonight?” He questions quietly, watching as a look of guilt consumes your expression.

“That was this today?” You weakly ask back as Spencer simply nods. “Oh, Spence,” You mutter, but Emily kindly butts in to save your ass once again.

“What if you watched it at JJ’s,” Emily begins, and you focus on her with a raised brow. “babysitting Henry?”

JJ scoffs lightly. “Spence, you’ve never babysat on your own before.” She looks over to the Godfather of her son, one of her best friends who could talk his way out of most things, but babysitting is another level.

“What? I could easily do it.” Spencer states proudly, forcing himself to sit taller in his seat as Rossi glances over, lowering the case file from his view. “I’ve watched Home Alone with Y/n, I know exactly what not to do. And I’ve read sixteen books on parenting.” He quickly adds, and Emily quips an eyebrow to you.

“I didn’t know that.” You mutter under your breath, just as JJ laughs playfully at Spencer’s antics.

“Just let the kid babysit, he clearly wants to.” Rossi pitches in, and Spencer smiles brightly at Rossi’s reassurance.

“Think of girls night.” Emily chuckles, and JJ looks over to you with concern before focusing back to Spencer, nodding to the proposition. “It’ll only be a couple of hours.” Emily quickly adds, and Spencer grins brightly.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Spencer nudges your side as JJ shakes her head, wondering what she’s about to let lose.

***

“I still can’t get over the fact Spence offered,” Penelope states as she brings over your drinks to the table, placing them down as you eye Emily who shrugs her shoulders.

“Spencer is a good guy like that,” Emily snickers, and you nudge her playfully before sipping your drink.

As you swallow, you can’t help but cough and widen your eyes to Penelope who happily downs her cocktail. “Shit, Pen, what is in this? Battery acid?” You remark, sniffing it as JJ sips hers, quickly having the same reaction.

“No,” Penelope shakes her head as a scoff leaves her lips. “but it is called ‘Poison Ivy.’”

You raise an eyebrow, clearly intrigued as Emily downs the last of her previous drink, slamming the glass down before heading back to the bar. “Anyone want another one? I saw there’s a deal on certain drinks.” Emily calls out, not giving any of you a chance to answer before she disappears to the bar.

“God, if Spencer was here he’d happily list off some facts about the DC character Poison Ivy.” You sigh, wondering how he’s managing with little Henry.

“I’m sure he’s doing fine, Y/n.” Penelope reaches out, and you nod. “How’re you holding up Jayj?”

Turning your head, you see JJ finishing off the remainder of your drink as she places it next to her empty glass.

“What?” JJ slurs, lifting her head up as her eyes cloud over.

“Yeah, I think JJ has past worried and is in denial.” You mutter to Penelope who wisely nods in agreement.

Emily quickly returns with more drinks which JJ gladly accepts. “So, Y/n,” Emily rests her elbows on the table, focusing directly on you as you swallow the lump in your throat. “when are you going to tell us about the good Doctor huh?” She jokes and you laugh lightly, taking one of the four shots.

Placing the empty shot glass down, you wince as the burn descends down your throat. “Maybe after four more of these,” You cough, and Emily signals to the bartender to bring a few more rounds.

*

“Come on, we gotta get into the taxi,” Penelope tries her best to take charge as you help JJ to her feet along with Emily who is as much help as Spencer with his gun.

“Pen, can you take Emily? I’ll help JJ.” Despite still being drunk, you can focus on Penelope long enough to see only two of her as she nods and a blur of colour crosses your vision.

JJ’s head hits your shoulder, and you hear her hum. “Y/n?” JJ slurs and you hold her head up as you reach the exit to the bar, seeing the taxi feet away.

“It’s okay, J, the taxi isn’t far.” You rub her arm as she shakes her head and quickly darts out of your arms and hauls her body against a wall as she vomits violently.

“God, least I’m not that bad.” Emily laughs, unaware of who is being sick until JJ lifts herself back up, swaying back into your direction as she wipes her face. “Oh, hey JJ.” Emily waves as JJ groans loudly before climbing into the taxi after you.

“Where to ladies?” The driver speaks up as the doors are finally closed, and Penelope fastens her seatbelt in beside the driver.

You completely zone out as Penelope gives the driver her address, and miss the ringing of your phone. Little do you know, that missed call would become the first of many throughout the rest of the night - not that you’d know until sunrise.

“Thank you, Craig!” Penelope waves the driver off as you laugh hysterically with Emily about something Spencer once did during a date he organised.

“He just, he was so sweet, but got it so wrong,” You wipe your eyes as tears fall whilst Penelope helps JJ up the stairs as you and Emily trail behind. “I just didn’t have the heart to tell him I had no interest in seeing Twilight, only Robert Pattinson.” You sigh, remembering how excited he was to take you to the cinema to see something not only in English but current.

“Spencer means well, I think his big ol’ brain gets in the way sometimes.” Emily comments as you reach Penelope’s apartment, barely having the chance to take it all in before you’re given a wine glass that’s being filled.

“Oh, Pen I can’t.” You whine, feeling a headache already in the works, but Penelope Garcia is not one to take no for an answer- especially on girls night.

“Let me ask you, ladies,” Penelope starts, and now you wish you just kept quiet. “when was our last girls night?”

Penelope watches as you all exchange glances, no one knowing the answer. “Like, a year ago?” Emily guesses, receiving a quick scoff from Penelope.

“Two and a half years ago.” Penelope states. “We’ve had team nights out, but not a girls night.” She adds as Emily collapses onto the sofa whilst maintaining a full glass of wine. “So, I’m making up for lost time,” Penelope lifts her glass up as she looks around at the three of you, just about hanging in there. “to the ladies of the BAU.”

With a cheer, your night carries on with more laughter and embarrassing memories whilst Spencer is having less of an enjoyable evening with his godson.

*

“Y/n, this is the tenth message I’ve left you after leaving fifteen to JJ, five to Emily and twenty-six to Garcia. You better not have died on me as I’ve rung every hospital in the district and have had Kevin hack Garcia’s phone to find her location.” Spencer sighs as he paces around the living room whilst Henry remains sound asleep in his bed.

Part of Spencer knows he’s being irrational, but it isn’t like you to not even answer a text let alone a phone call. He’s so used to you being on hand whenever- especially with the line of work you both do. So when you don’t answer, he can’t help but allow his mind to spiral into the dark depths of misfortune.

Glancing out of the window, Spencer could tell without looking at a clock it was almost sunrise. Approximately 5:37 in the morning and you along with the others were nowhere to be seen.

With a small sigh, Spencer dials your number once more, only to hear movement outside of JJ’s house and he tenses.

Reaching over into his satchel, Spencer grabs his gun as he hides by the living room door, hearing movement of the front door opening as hushed voices sound throughout the hallway.

“God, he’s going to hate me, isn’t he?” You wince at the thought of Spencer scolding you for not getting back to him after you reviewed the dozens of messages and voicemails when you woke up twenty minutes ago.

JJ wraps her arms around you, bringing you into a hug but also to stabilise herself to stop the room spinning. “Spencer couldn’t possibly hate you, Y/n.” She assures you, seeing Spencer peer his head out from the corner of the living room and lower his gun. “That boy loves you more than you realise.”

Pulling away from JJ’s embrace, you sigh deeply into your hands. “I love him J, I just worry sometimes.” You mutter, unaware of Spencer standing behind you as his heart sinks. 

“You should tell him, Y/n.” JJ motions and you tense up, silently swearing before you turn around to face your rather tired looking boyfriend. “I’ll go check on Henry.” JJ mutters, quickly passing you both and heads up the stairs with caution. 

“I could never hate you, Y/n.” Spencer starts, “I was just worried about you and your safety.” He explains as he reaches out, resting his hand on your upper arm. “Did you have fun?” 

A small laugh leaves your lips as you nod. “Yeah,” You chuckle, focusing on the tired look in his hazel eyes. “I, I love you Spence.” You tell him as you fall into his arms, exhaustion beginning to take over your body as Spencer’s chuckle vibrates against your body. 

“I love you too, Y/n. Come on, you need to get some sleep.” Spencer guides you to the living room and you fall down with ease onto the couch. “Did you know the human body requires at least-”

Holding a finger up to Spencer, he pauses. “Spence, as much as I adore you and your facts, they are the last thing I need right now.” 

“Alright,” Spencer gives in as he pulls a blanket over you, ignoring the smudged and dried mascara beneath your eyes and the lingering smell of cocktails on your clothing. “I’ll see you in an hour.” He mutters as he wanders out to make some coffee, knowing you’d need it once you woke back up. 

*

“This is hell.” You state as you heavily lean against the railing alongside the girls whilst voices cheer around you, including Spencer. “I blame you, Pen.” 

Penelope merely groans as she pushes her sunglasses further up her face. 

“A couple of hours! No big deal!” Spencer emphasises as you roll your eyes, burying your face in your hands once again as he carries on cheering for the runners as they pass you all by in a blur. “You weren’t home until sunrise!”

“Why are you yelling.” JJ comments flatly whilst Derek glances over, holding his laugh in as he keeps Jack on his shoulders. 

“Make him stop.” Emily adds, and you nudge your boyfriend as he stops waving his flag frantically and focuses on you. 

“Next time, I’m either joining you in babysitting or you’re joining girls night.” You tell Spencer who smiles down at you before wrapping an arm around you, holding you close as you weakly smile through the pain of your hangover. 

“Deal.” Spencer leans down, kissing you softly before the cheers of your team increase as Hotch reaches the finish line. “Come on, I think breakfast is in order.” Spencer guides you away from the railing as you rely on him heavily as the girls follow behind. 

“Girls night happens every two years for a reason, I take it, baby girl?” Derek jokes as Penelope shushes him as you all gather around to celebrate Hotch’s achievement and block out the blur that last night has left on your memories. 

“What happens on girls night, stays on girls night.” Penelope simply states, refusing to say anymore as you walk ahead with Spencer, discussing more about his latest read, ‘Parenting 101.’ 

[hanniiesuckle17]

Stray Kids Reaction: S/o Has a Migraine and Can’t Sleep

A/n: I had a super bad headache last night so I just came up with this. Sry for the lack of og content! I’m working on a big request rn! (btw this is not edited so sorry for mistakes)

Warnings: maybe a couple curse words? nudity? idk its chill

Bangchan:

You had been prone to get migraines every now and then. As a result, you often didn’t sleep very well. Tonight was just one of those nights. It was a particularly bad one. You wanted to scream it hurt so much, but Chan was sleeping peacefully beside you. This was the third time this month. You didn’t want to wake him up again.

Slowly, you got out of bed. It seemed every movement only made the pain worse. You started to get dizzy. Bracing yourself against your closet, you sighed and rubbed your temples. “Chan...” You felt terrible about waking him up, but you needed help. “Channie...babe?” You said a little louder. He shot up in bed.

“I'm up. I'm up.” He looked around the dark room until he saw you by the closet. He rubbed his eyes and jumped out of bed. “Is it your head, baby?” He asked, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. You nodded and Chan gave you a tired smile. 

Carefully he picked you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck. Your head dropped onto his shoulder as you tried to ignore the sharp pain coming from the top of your head. Chan carried you into the bathroom and closed the door with his foot. He carefully set you on the counter and the flicked on the lights. “Ahh!” You yelped, clutching your head.

“Sorry! Sorry! I forgot!” Chan said, flipping the light switch back off. Chan turned the shower all the way to hot and let the steam fill up the room. He kissed your cheek before leaving the bathroom, closing the door behind him. The mirror fogged with steam and the pressure in your head started to subside little by little.

Chan softly knocked on the door before entering again. By now steam was setting into the room like a mist. Sweat beaded on both your foreheads and the glass Chan held in his hand. Your boyfriend came to stand between your legs, his hand rubbing up and down your thigh. 

“Drink some water, baby girl.” You took the glass, his hand staying nearby in case you dropped it. After you drank all the water, you leaned your head against Chan’s shoulder letting him rub your back. 

“I’m so sorry that it hurts, Y/n.” He whispered, kissing the top of your head.

Minho:

Work had been seriously stressing you out lately. So much so that Minho went to sleep before you did. You were doing your best to work through the splitting headache you had but it was impossible. Deciding to give up, you trudged to bed. However, laying down only seemed to make it worse. 

Minho was sleeping soundly beside you, completely oblivious to your pain. You did your best to fall asleep. But it felt like someone was taking a jackhammer to the side of your skull. “Minho,” You said shaking your boyfriend. “Minho, please wake up.” You said clutching your head in pain. He groaned and rolled over, sleepily glaring at you.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“My head is killing me. Fuck...It hurts so much I feel like I’m gonna be sick.” You said trying not to cry. Minho looked around, brows furrowing and then back at you.

“Well....what do you want me to do about it?” I sighed and slapped his shoulder, making him yelp. “Okay! Okay! Sheesh.” Minho stumbled out of your shared bed and shuffled sleepily down the hall. He came back a few minutes later with a bag of frozen peas and water. 

“Peas?”

“Sorry, we were out of brussels sprouts.” He said helping you hold the freezing bag to your head. He watched you drink the water and lazily rubbed your thigh as he sat next to you. You knew he didn’t mean to be rude. He was just sleepy. 

“I’m sorry I woke you up,”

“Don’t apologize.” He said, taking your hand in his. Minho felt the back of your neck, only to pull away at the temperature. He gently took the bag of peas from you and transferred it, pushing your hair out of the way. “I don’t like seeing you in pain.” Minho leaned forward and pressed his lips against yours. Your boyfriend sat with you half asleep until the migraine finally went away.

Changbin:

You were very stressed. Stressed was an understatement. There wasn’t a word for how much pressure you were under. You had been pushing it all down and just telling yourself it would all be over soon. However, it had started to affect your sleep. You would get these splitting headaches anytime you lied down. 

Changbin lounged across your couch scrolling through his phone, probably ordering the food you had talked about earlier. “I can pay for it this time, Bin.” You said running a hand through your hair. Your boyfriend shook his head, throwing his phone on the couch.

“Nonsense. I’m paying. Come here, baby. You look really stressed. Lie down for a minute.” You shook your head. You knew if you lied down, the pain which was already starting to throb against your skull would get worse. “Y/n, I’m gonna make you lie down if you don’t come over here.” Again you shook your head and turned, trying to find something to occupy your tired mind and body.

Changbin sighed and pushed himself off the sofa. He wrapped you in his arms and dragged you down onto the couch, your head laying on the cushions. He backed away when you cried out in pain. “Changbin, I told you I didn’t want to lie down!” You said clutching your head. 

“Baby, I’m sorry! What’s wrong?” You shook your head, pain throbbing.

“It’s nothing. It’ll pass....eventually.”

“No, you’re hurting. Tell me what I can do.”

You tried to push past the swelling and throbbing. “Umm....uh...in my bedroom. The nightstand- in the drawer there is a little glass bottle. It’s brown and green.” Changbin nodded and got off the couch. 

You could hear him rummaging through the drawer looking for one of the bottles of essential oils you had. The doorbell rang, making you cry out from the sound. “I’ve got it, baby! Hold on!” Changbin said rushing to the door. Quietly he thanked the delivery guy and placed the food on the table.

“Is this why you haven’t been sleeping?” He asked handing me the bottle of peppermint oil. Nodding, I opened it and rubbed some of the oil on my temples. The pain started to fade away very slowly. Changbin wrapped and arm around me, pulling me into his chest. “Baby, you’ve got to tell me when you’re hurting so I can help.”

Hyunjin:

Today was not your day. Nothing seemed to be going right. On top of all that you were beginning to worry about money problems. There wasn’t enough in your savings to start paying off your student loans and no matter how much your boyfriend tried you wouldn’t let him pay for the entire rent of your shared apartment. 

Your shifts were getting cut back all week so you were struggling to come up with the money for rent, let alone something for Hyunjin’s birthday at the end of the week. Your boyfriend was still at rehearsal, giving you time to look at your finances without him offering to pay every eight seconds. Your brain was pulsing against your skull. 

You gave up after the pain started making words float off the bank statement you were reading. You switched off all the lights and rubbed your temples. The pain was only getting worse. Not having the energy to walk to your bedroom you just laid down on the cool wood floor in your living room. 

“Y/n? Hey, gorgeous! I’m home!” Hyunjin called out. The sound of his keys dropping in the dish made you clutch your head and whimper. You heard him walk over to the kitchen table and sigh when he saw the papers. “Babe, I told you not to worry about all this....Y/n?” He called out again.

“Y/N!” He yelped seeing you on the floor.

“Ahh...Jinnie...please be quiet. My head...” He nodded and carefully lowered himself onto the floor, laying on his stomach. “Hyunjin, what are you doing?” You said rubbing your eyes. Another sharp pain erupted from the top of your head, making you wince. 

“I don’t really know how to help...so I’m just being here if you need me.” 

If you didn’t feel so horrible you would kiss him. Gently he stroked your hair and sat against the couch. His arms wrapped around you pulling you into his lap, apologizing profusely when you whimpered in pain. “Thank you, baby.” You whispered into his chest.

“Please let me pay for the rent, gorgeous. I don’t want you hurting like this.” He kissed your forehead when you nodded the tiniest bit.

Jisung:

This had not been your week. Everything seemed to be going wrong and fighting with your mom was the last straw. Jisung was set to be at the studio until late so you just cried. And maybe screamed...a little. You just let it all out until your entire body hurt from crying. It wasn’t the healthiest option, but it was healthier than keeping it all in.

The sound of the lock turning from the front door sent you shooting up from the couch and wiping your tears. A splitting pain shot through your head, making you wince, but you smiled seeing your boyfriend come home early. “Jisung, I didn’t expect you to come home for like...another four hours.”

“I missed you baby.” He said kissing your forehead. You tried to hide how much it hurt and quickly pecked his lips. After having dinner together and getting ready for bed, the pain in your head just kept getting worst. Jisung quickly fell asleep, but you lay tossing and turning next to him.

You stared up at the ceiling hours later, listening to the snores coming from your boyfriend beside you. Every way you turned hurt and the pain was so much that you wanted to cry. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Jisung asked drowsily after you gave up and sat against the backboard, clutching your head.

“Ji, it hurts...” 

He sat up, still half asleep, and wiped a few straggling tears. “What hurts, baby? What is it?” He tried to blink the heaviness away from his eyes. His tired eyes softened seeing you in pain.

“My head. It hurts so bad.” Without saying another word, Jisung got up from his side of the bed and walked around to yours. Gently he picked you up in his arms and carried you to the bathroom. Not bothering to turn on the lights your boyfriend carefully and sleepily set you on the counter, placing a kiss on your cheek. 

He turned on the shower, steam filling the room. With slow tired movements, he helped you undress before doing so himself. Tenderly Jisung carried you under the hot water and let you stand there, hands braced against the cold tile. His arms wrapped around your waist and he buried his face in your neck.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” He muttered against your skin. 

The hot water was helping relieve the pressure in your brain, easing some of the pain. Jisung placed sleepy kisses on your shoulder, rubbing slow patterns on your stomach as the steaming water fell over you both. After a while, you turned around and buried your face in his neck. 

He stayed under the water with you until the pain had subsided.

Felix:

Sweat dripped down your neck. It felt like a thousand shards of glass were pressing against your brain. Felix was sleeping deeply beside you, laying on his stomach. His skin was cool to the touch compared to how hot your forehead felt. You couldn’t sleep. Every time you tried to get comfortable your head seemed to hurt even more. 

“Fuck...” You whispered clutching your head. 

You rested your head on Felix’s shoulder, letting his cool skin press against your head. It only helped a little bit, but you just focused on listening to your boyfriend’s slow breathing. Your hand pressed against his bare back, letting the coolness try and calm you. 

He stirred when he felt you wince. “Y/n, darling, what’s wrong?” He asked his deep voice slurring. He rolled over and you sat up in bed. He pulled you down onto his chest, his fingers gently stroking your hair. “Why aren’t you sleeping, baby?”

You winced feeling another jab of pain. “My head hurts too much.” His movement stopped and he moved his hand away, choosing to place it on your shoulder instead. “Felix, it hurts.” 

He nodded and carefully got out of bed, resting you against the headboard, “I know, darling.” He whispered. “I’ll be right back.” You watched your boyfriend walk out into the hall. A few seconds later you heard the thermostat kick in, making the room cooler. He returned with a glass of water, a wet cloth, and a pill bottle. 

“Here, take this.” He said handing you two pills and the glass of water. While you swallowed the medicine, he gently pressed the cloth to your head, pulling you into his lap. You rested your head against his shoulder, letting the cold cloth soothe the pain. “Drink the whole thing, darling. It will help.” 

Nodding you tipped the glass a little further, hearing the chunks of ice clink against the side of the cup. Felix moved the cloth to the back of your neck. Another sharp pain in your forehead made you wince. You pressed the cold glass to your skin and sighed. “Thank you, Lix.” You muttered before drinking more of the water. He gave you a sleepy smile and pulled you close.

“No problem at all, Y/n.”

Seungmin:

Seungmin knew that you tended to get migraines when you were stressed. It had happened ever since you were in high school. You could practically feel a headache coming on. It wasn’t too late at night, but you would usually have been asleep at this time. 

Knowing it was going to get worse any second, you went to the bathroom and checked for the medicine you needed. When you reached for the bottle you found it empty. Sharp pain in your temples made you brace yourself against the sink. “Oh, shit...”You whispered feeling sick to your stomach. Without your meds, the migraine would only get worse. 

The pain got exponentially worse, sending you to lean over the toilet, wrenching the contents of your stomach. You reached for your phone, dialing your boyfriend’s number.

“Y/n, hi! I’m just leaving JYP. What’s up, cutie?” Seungmin answered happily.

“Um...I’m having a little bit of an issue.” Another throbbing sensation pulsed throughout your skull. “Min can you pick me up some meds. I’m out and I need them.”

“Yeah, of course. Hold tight. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Seungmin hung up the phone. You flushed the toilet and tried to clean yourself up. The pain was getting worse and worse. Dragging yourself to the kitchen, you grabbed the first bag you saw in the freezer, holding it to your head.

“Y/n?” Seungmin called out into the dark apartment. 

“In the kitchen, babe.” The sound of Seungmin’s footsteps echoed through the space. You felt sure arms wrap around your stomach. Turning your head, you were met with his lips on yours. 

“I’ve got meds and I picked up coffee on the way.” He whispered pecking your lips again. “Salted Caramel Cream Cold Brew with extra ice just for you.” You cupped his cheek, mustering up a smile. 

“Thank you so much, Min.” He handed you the coffee and the meds knowing you would feel better after having both.

“Always, Y/n. Anytime you need me.”

Jeongin:

Of course, you had to get a migraine right now. The one-time Jeongin was staying over. Carefully you got up from the bed, not wanting to wake your boyfriend. While you were no stranger to migraines and headaches, you hadn’t had one in a significant amount of time.

Tiptoeing into your bathroom you opened the medicine cabinet. You didn’t bother turning on the light knowing it would just make the pain worse. Your tired hands searched through the cabinet only to find that you were out of the pills you needed. 

A cry escaped your lips as the pain jumped higher. Quickly you covered your mouth, hoping that the sound didn’t wake Jeongin. Clutching your head, you grabbed a washcloth and dowsed it in cold water. Folding it, you placed it over your forehead and slid down the bathroom wall. 

Slow tears escaped as the pain spiked at random times. You let your body fall onto the floor and you curled your knees into your chest, holding the cold cloth to your head. The cool tile pressed against your cheek, easing the pain only a little bit.

“Y/n?” You heard Jeongin call softly. “Y/n, where are you? Are you okay, honey?” You winced, feeling another spike in pain.

“I’m in here, Innie.” You said weakly. You heard footsteps pad across the carpet of your bedroom until you saw the shadow of his figure from under the door. He politely knocked on the door. “You can come in, babe.” He opened the door, looking around before he found you on the floor.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?” He said crouching on the floor and pushing a few pieces of wet hair out of your face. He immediately retracted his hand when you winced. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you-”

“No, Innie. It’s not your fault.” He relaxed and sat against the wall reaching for your hand. “I just get really bad migraines sometimes. I didn’t want to wake you.” He rubbed his thumb across your skin.

“Y/n you can always wake me up if you need me.” Carefully, he pulled me into his lap and didn’t even shy away when the other side of the cold washcloth pressed against his neck. “What can I do to help?”

“I’m out of the medicine I need. Could you run to the pharmacy and get some?” He nodded and slowly got up before taking the empty bottle and leaving the apartment. About twenty minutes later he came back and gave you the pills. Jeongin sat with you in his lap as the both of you waited for your pain to go away.

Requests are open my lovelies!! Just send an ask! <3

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[stark-strange-love2]

A Day at the Fair

My submission for the ironstrange fanfic challenge!

Prompt: 

Tony drags Stephen out on a date to the fair, despite Stephen insisting he doesn’t want to go. Tony spends the whole day trying to show Stephen how much fun it is until finally, Stephen breaks down and confesses the real reason he didn’t want to come today. 

Tags:

Omega Stephen Strange, Alpha Tony Stark, high school au

Tony grinned, practically vibrating with excitement as he rolled out of bed. Every year he and Stephen went to the fair, the closest thing their tiny town had to offer for fun. He grabbed his phone from his nightstand.

T: Heeeeeey Steph~

S: Tony? What is it?

T: Well I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to the fair this fine day, as per our usual tradition

Stephen took a few minutes to reply. Tony set down his phone, brushed his teeth, dressed, and sat down for breakfast. Stephen still hadn’t replied. Then, as he was pouring cereal, his phone dinged.

S: Idk. I’m not feeling up to it rn

T: Okay… do you wanna come over and hang out then? My parents are out of town… I could even sneak a bottle of wine for us

S: Eh… let’s just go to the fair.

Tony smiled.

T: Great! I’ll pick you up in an hour?

S: Sure

The fair was loud and hot and crowded. It reminded Tony of every fantastic summer with Stephen he could think of. Tony squeezed Stephen’s hand, but Stephen didn’t squeeze back.

“Hey, Steph, are you okay? You seem a little off-color.”

Stephen bit his lip.

“Just tired I guess. I have a bit of a headache.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Tony leaned up and kissed Stephen’s cheek, then down to his unmarked scent gland. “Maybe we can sit down near the back? Have some lunch? I have Asperin too if you need it. We can even go back home if you’d like. Anything for you,” Tony said.

Stephen smiled softly.

“Lunch sounds good.”

He finally squeezed Tony’s hand back.

“Ugh, don’t they have anything remotely healthy?” Stephen bitched, scrunching up his face at the third deep-fried Oreo stand they passed.

“Oh? Are you doing another vegan kick or something?”

Stephen shook his head, cheeks pink.

“Uh- no. No, just trying to eat a little healthier, that’s all.”

“Can you take a break for today?” Tony asked. God knew he wasn’t planning on eating well today.

“Well… I mean…” Stephen worried his lip between his teeth. “I’d just feel better if I ate healthily, that’s it.” He didn’t meet Tony’s eyes.

They finally found something reasonably healthy- chicken tenders and lemonade- and sat down at a table under a large tree. Somewhere in the background, a band was playing. Stephen picked at his food while Tony happily munched away.

“After this do you want to go on a ride?” tony asked.

Stephen shook his head.

“No rides.”

“Why? Are you still not feeling well?”

Stephen didn’t meet Tony’s eyes, electing instead to look off into the never-ending distance, hazy with the feeling of the fair, a haziness that stayed in Stephen’s mind and mulled like a roiling, humid cloud of every problem that had ever graced him. The heat clung to his skin. His stomach turned and he looked down, his arms folded over his abdomen. Tony could smell the scent of unhappy omega from across the table.

“Yeah. Not feeling great,” he lied.

Tony’s eyes were so warm and comforting that Stephen’s stomach couldn’t help but crawling higher into his throat and nestling there like some sort of weak and defenseless baby bird. Stephen’s cheeks were hot with shame.

“Are you sure that’s everything? Please tell me if something’s bothering you, Stephen. I love you. I want to help.”

Stephen’s stomach churned and he ran to the nearest trashcan and threw up. Tony leaped to his feet and rushed over but Stephen waved him away.

“Oh God- oh God Stephen!” Tony cried.

“I’m- I’m fine,” Stephen coughed. He wiped his mouth and downed his lemonade, popping a few breath mints into his mouth. He let out a low groan and took a deep breath.

“Jesus Stephen, let’s go home. You’re sick. You need to rest.” “No. You brought me here on a date. We’re staying.” The resolution in Stephen’s voice felt strong and clear and hard and unwavering, the same way a freshly poured asphalt highway stretches on and on and on until it dissolves into a dazzling mirage. Endless and resolute in a way that made Tony feel tiny in comparison.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Stephen ate his last chicken tender and tossed the tray.

“Maybe we can try at one of those fair games,” Stephen offered.

“Aren’t they all rigged?”

“Well that makes winning more impressive,” Stephen said with a grin.

Stephen took Tony’s hand and they walked through the fair before stopping at a booth: balloons and darts. Stephen bent over, looking at the booth. Then there was a loud whistle and a squeak from Stephen that had Tony’s alpha growling in his chest. Tony turned and snapped at the fuck boy alpha that currently had his hand on his omega’s ass. Stephen turned and slapped the guy’s hand away, face red and furious. His blue-green eyes burned like two twin stars hovering above the ocean horizon.

“Hey sweet-cheeks, what’s a pretty little omega like you doing with a boring alpha like him?” the guy said with a thousand-watt smile.

“Not interested.”

“Aw, come on baby, don’t be like that.”

“He said he’s not interested,” Tony growled.

The guy rolled his eyes.

“Fine, tightass.”

He stalked away and Stephen’s resolve broke. His entire body drooped and he sank into his seat, the smell of pure displeasure and unhappiness radiating from him like a morning fog over a valley. Tony sighed and pulled Stephen to his chest, holding him tight.

“Fuck Stephen- I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault,” Stephen mumbled.

But there was a flat sort of grey hanging in his eyes and Tony knew it wasn’t okay, but he also knew there was nothing he could ever do. Tony held him close, whispering gentle things into Stephen’s ears.

“Hey, I saw what happened.” Tony looked up to see the carnival stand girl looking apologetic at the two of them. “I don’t know if this would make you feel better, but would you like to play a few rounds for free? It’s on the house.”

Tony smiled and looked to Stephen.

“Does that sound fun?”

Stephen shrugged, laying his chin on the counter.

“You play. I’ll watch.”

Tony nodded, a plan in mind. He missed the first shot but nailed the next four. Then he aimed for the bright yellow balloon titled ‘10,000 points.’ It was tiny, underinflated, and unlikely to pop from elasticity tension. Tony ran a few trajectory equations through his head, nibbling at his lip. He had two darts left. Gravity was his best bet, if he could arc the dart so it landed into the balloon, he might stand a chance. All the other balloons were one point, and by now, he could maybe get Stephen one of those cute little teddy bears, but he wanted to get Stephen something bigger. Like that giant fluffy round hamster plushy the size of Tony’s body.

The first dart missed, bouncing off the board and falling to the ground. Tony took a deep breath and tossed the last dart in a high arc, watching as it fell and fell and fell and gained velocity until it popped the yellow balloon with a loud snap.

Stephen grinned and clapped and Tony did a little dance. The girl grinned.

“Congratulations! What prize would you like?”

Tony grinned and pointed up at the massive hamster. The girl pulled down the hamster and passed it to Tony who promptly passed it to Stephen.

“Hey, I know today hasn’t been great, but I’m really glad I got to spend time with you today. You never fail to make me happy, even when the whole world feels bad, and I want you to know I want to be there for you, on all the good days and bad.”

Stephen looked at the hamster, then back at Tony. He sniffled and broke down in tears.

“Oh God- Stephen? Was it something I said? Are you okay? Oh God, I’m so sorry!” Tony stammered.

Stephen whimpered, tears pouring down his face. Then he turned and ran, the hamster in his arms as he wove through the crowd and through carnival stands. Tony stared after him, heart sinking. He stood there for a second before taking off after Stephen.

It took him twenty minutes to find Stephen in one of the animal shows, surrounded by cages of fluffy baby bunnies. He was crying silently into the hamster, squeezed tight in his arms. Tony knelt beside him.

“Stephen?” His voice was soft. Something was very wrong. “Please… please just tell me what’s wrong. I want to help you.”

Stephen looked away. His chest was so full of lead he couldn’t bring himself to speak. He felt heavy and dense, like an ancient tree rooted to the ground, bark worn by the elements but still there. Unmoving. Unable to move.

“Please.”

Stephen let out a choked whimper.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to tell you.” His voice was cracking and frail. So weak. But it was the truth.

“That’s okay. I just want to make sure you’re safe… are you safe?” Tony asked, taking Stephen’s hands in his.

Stephen nodded.

“It’s just… I don’t know.” Stephen hung his head.

“It’s okay not to know,” Tony whispered. “Do you want to go home now?”

Stephen shook his head.

“I want to ride the Ferris Wheel. Like we do every year.”

Tony smiled softly and hugged Stephen, staying there for a second, the way a curling vine of ivy finds comfort in cracked bark, grey with exhaustion. They stayed there for a bit, nestled amongst the animal cages and beneath the flair of the crowded festival like the world was fog and they were the grass, rooted in place.

Stephen moved first, reaching up and pulling himself to his feet and then reaching for Tony to help him up.

“You know, you’re the best alpha I could have ever wished for,” Stephen said with a small, bittersweet smile.

“Well… I couldn’t have asked for anyone better to fall in love with,” Tony responded.

“Do you promise you’ll always be with me? Through everything?” Stephen asked, squeezing Tony’s hand.

“Of course. I love you, Stephen. And nothing can ever make me stop.”

Tony leaned up and kissed Stephen softly, sweetly. Stephen let his eyes drift closed and he savored every single saccharine second.

They found the Ferris Wheel easily. It was the center of the fair, after all. And one long line later they were sitting in a car going up and up and up. Stephen fidgeted quietly. It was funny how the second all you needed was time it seemed to twist and turn and go faster and faster so blindingly fast you can barely even remembered what you prepared to say. When the carriage got halfway up its arc Stephen bit his lip, letting out a little, tightly-wound sigh.

“Tony… I need to tell you what’s wrong. I’ve been avoiding it all day, but… I just wanted one last good day with you before it all changed.” Stephen looked over the edge of the carriage and let out a dry chuckle. “Although I suppose I ruined my chance at that, too.”

“What- what are you talking about?” Tony’s voice was on edge.

“I-I’m pregnant.”

Stephen stared at Tony full-on. He kept searching for something other than shock but it was like combing a beach for something that just wasn’t there. Stephen’s hands started to shake.

“T-Tony? Please say something.”

Stephen’s voice sounded so small. He felt so small.

“Am I- Am I the dad?” Tony finally asked.

Anger flared deep in Stephen’s gut and for a moment he wanted to slap Tony off of the stupid Ferris Wheel.

“Of course you’re the father!” Stephen snapped. “You fucking idiot- you really think I’m screwing a dozen alphas behind your back?”

His scent soured and he turned away, glaring. Tony stayed quiet.

“Whatever. You probably want to break up with me now anyways. Just do it. I don’t want to have you pretend to care about this. I’ll just… forget about my full-ride to Columbia. I doubt my parents will even let me go. They want me to stay on the farm and become a good obedient little housespouse omega.” Stephen let out an involuntary whimper. Tears were pouring down his cheeks and he hugged himself. “I thought I was going to be happy… I thought I was going to have a future, but I- I don’t know anymore!”

The whole world felt like it was collapsing, folding in an compressing into one invincible singularity stuck in Stephen’s windpipe. Everything was spinning and hot and his head hurt so so much… Stephen closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands, sobbing.

Then, Tony gently wrapped his arms around Stephen, pulling the crying omega to his chest.

“Shh… it’s okay. I’m sorry, I just… I’m a father…” A small smile appeared on Tony’s face. “I couldn’t believe it. But Stephen, whatever you choose to do, this is your choice, and I will back you up 1,000%. I love you, and I meant it when I said I would stay with you no matter what. I know how much medical school means to you, and I swear that I can help you take care of our child so you can study if you choose to keep it. You don’t need to give up your dream, your dream can always stay. If you choose not to keep it, then I’ll be there for you too. No matter what you choose, we’re in this together.”

Stephen let his hands fall away from his face and his head plop on Tony’s shoulder. He was still crying and shaking, but this time from happiness. Tony wasn’t leaving him. He wasn’t going to be stuck alone on a farm his whole life. He would be okay. They would be okay.

He turned and tackled Tony in a hug, enough to rattle their cart. Tony laughed and held them as they reached the top of the Ferris Wheel, watching as the sun set over the fair and the town and everything surrounding it and turned it all to gold.

[asokatanos]

I got the first dose of the covid vaccine yesterday (Jan 5th 2021)!! Sharing 2 days of my experiences so that when access has been expanded and doses are available more widely you’ll have my story regarding safety and side effects.

Some facts: I got it early because I’m a medical student seeing patients (lately a lot of covid pts!). I am otherwise mostly healthy without any serious chronic or autoimmune conditions. The reason healthcare workers are being prioritized is not because we’re going to get more sick, but because if we DO catch it, we might accidentally spread it to patients who might themselves become very ill. Our jobs mean we are exposed to and exposing many many people every day. No WFH here!

Once you register you get a little card with the vaccine company (in the US rn moderna or pfizer only) and today’s date and a date 28 days later which is the date of your next and (hopefully) final dose/appointment.

I got the first dose of the Moderna vaccine after answering some screening questions about history of severe allergic reactions, recent covid (+) test or quarantine, a temperature check, etc. The shot itself was delivered with a small gauge syringe 💉. It actually hurt WAY LESS than the flu shot I got several months ago!! I’m a big baby when it comes to needles (ironic! I know) but this was NOT BAD AT ALL. Genuinely barely felt it. 1/10 pain scale. The 1 is just because I knew the needle was going in

They had me sit for 15 min afterwards to make sure I didn’t pass out or suddenly get an allergic reaction. I was just fine! Left the hospital and got totally lost on my way home thanks to my goddamn gps which for some reason took me ACROSS STATE LINES I am going to kill google-

Two hours later my arm felt mostly normal. No pain! 0/10 pain scale. The area felt like it might be a little warm and maybe ever so slightly numb, but this might just be because I was mentally focusing on it very intently since receiving the shot.

Pain began maybe four hours after the shot. Gradual soreness that went from a 4/10 to maybe a 6/10 by bedtime (11 hours later). It’s not sharp or stinging, it feels like the same dull sore sensation one gets after a flu shot. Maybe slightly worse, like something between a flu and tetanus shot. I will survive it even though my mom accidentally bumped the spot no less than three times

Around 11pm or so I started getting a headache. This might have been secondary to personal stress or maybe the several hours I spent watching tv or the fact that I’ve been prone to bad headaches for several years now. But it’s also a known vaccine side effect. I took two ibuprofens at around 10:45pm because of the arm soreness

Okay so I didn’t sleep much over night. Part of it is stress but also my arm hurt. I’m used to sleeping on my left side buuut the shot was in my left arm :/

And in the morning about 22 hours after I got the vaccine the arm soreness is worse, maybe 7-8/10. I took another two ibuprofen so we’ll see how it goes. No other side effects though just the sore arm.

okay so it’s now about 6pm and fascists are taking over my country’s capitol building so i haven’t been focusing on my arm so much. the good news is that it hurts less now! still hurts to move it in abduction (which is medical for out away from the body like an airplane pose) but it’s way less severe. a steady 4-5/10

Everything is unhinged now so I’m just scheduling this post for Jan 7th and hoping there are no further historical events in the next 24 hours.

Jan 7th update is that it doesn’t hurt anymore!!

[powerosewaterpuff]

yk so i was watching bmw (boy meets world :) ) while procrastinating an essay so oF COURSE i decided to write some more of my reverse robin au (that pertains to jason being the oldest of the batkids w/ him and dick growing up together) except fLUFF bc i cannot handle angst rn (oR cOulD I wE wiLL nEvER kNoWwwW)

oh and disclaimer there may be several medical inaccuracies so please feel free to correct me :)

jason often gets night terrors, ones that can get particularly awful when bruce goes on an overnight business trip. so one night bruce is in new york after being forced into it by lucius, with dick being adopted for some time now. dick was awake because he was having trouble sleeping, for no real particular reason in all honesty. he heard a short yell though, coming from the room next to him and he dashed over, tripping over his blanket and still gripping zitka tightly. he knew that he wasn’t supposed to fight yet, but he doesn’t really think about that as he yanked jason’s door open.

he then saw his brother laying on his side, turning back and forth, breathing heavily looking so visibly pained it was hurting dick. he rushed over to jason, his eyes darting around because he just didn’t know what to do. taking his chances he tapped jason’s shoulder gently, and he already felt like it wasn’t the right move but he sucked it up and tried again, only this time to some result. jason shot up, gripping on tightly to dick’s arm, his eyes hazy and unfocused and his chest heaving.

dick remained still, only slowly trying to push jason off of him and back into his bed. jason’s grip didn’t let but he laid back in bed, squeezing his eyes tightly as if he was trying to push away everything he had just witnessed. dick took this as an initiative to gently climb into bed, as jason fell back into a less violent but equally as stressful sleep. he placed zitka next to jason, who still hasn’t let go of his arm, and awkwardly sat up in bed, almost acting as a protector. slowly, dick began to doze off, feeling a lot more comforted in his brothers prescence then he had been in his own room.

jason on the other hand, doesn’t remember much of that night, as he rarely fully remembers any of his night terrors (only the scars they leave behind), but when he wakes up at the ass crack of dawn with a few fragments of something he would prefer not to remember, he puts it together rather quickly. he guessed it would happen, and he could’ve told bruce and he knew the guy would drop anything in a heartbeat, but that pissed him off, more so then it justifiably should. he wasn’t a child and he hadn’t been a child for a long fucking time, and it was stupid that he couldn’t deal with a single night without bruce. jason then turned onto his side, disgruntled with a new found rage directed at himself that he might take out on someone else, when he found dick, sleeping at an awkward position.

he was leaning on the headboard, but was slumped down and drooling a bit, which would have been hilarious blackmail material on any other given day. but today, jason felt a pit in his stomach. the only rational thought that his mind could conjure in its fear muddled frenzy was please tell me i didn’t hurt dick, pleasepleasepleaseplease. he quickly checked over dick’s face, cupping his checks and looking for any signs of a bruise. he had given bruce a particularly nasty one earlier in his tenure at the manor, after bruce attempted to restrain him while he was having a night terror so he could avoid hurting himself, instead jason kicked him in the jaw. he even felt bad about it the next day, which was an odd surprise for him at the time.

after checking over dick hasilty, he could see he wasn’t all that hurt, even though if he looked hard enough he could see inklings of nail shaped markings in dick’s right arm just under his shirt sleeve. jason felt a bit of bile rising up, as he gently shifted dick into a better sleeping position, and pulled the blanket up to his chin and slipped a pillow underneath him. dick opened his bleary eyes, mumbling jason’s name in question, and squinting his eyes. jason rolled his eyes but nodded, “yeah, it’s me. now sleep–why’re you shaking yer head? you don’ wanna sleep? too bad.” jason pressed another pillow onto the side of dicks face in a teasing attempt to smother him to sleep, but dick only proceeded to giggle, and snuggle closer to jason, who had sat up already. jason tossed the pillow to the side after a few seconds of play fighting, dick was going to be too sleepy to remember this break in the ‘teasing older brother’ façade. so, he ran his hand through his little brothers hair and laid back down, tracing soft circles into dick’s scalp absentmindedly. and feeling a rush of gratitude that bruce had brought this little circus boy into his life. he really didn’t know what he would do without his little brother. (needless to say, dick became a constant comforter in jason’s night terrors).

jason blames dick for everything. if a vase got knocked over, it was a dick. if the tv wasn’t working, dick had been playing with the satellite. if his phone was missing, dick stole it to play games. if his sweater had a stain, you better bet it was dick. the boy in question, of course, adamantly denies these facts and does have a way of persuading bruce (he is the golden child after all, jason could testify to that), but bruce also knows both of his boys are annoyingly good liars. so every incident is treated like a little miniature crime scene, and it never fails to make jason howl in laughter at dick explaining how he couldn’t have possibly used up jason’s shampoo because he has his own washroom with his own shampoo and so w h y jason w h y would i steal your shampoo. (jason’s usual response is a deadpanned ‘why wouldn’t you’, and that just gives bruce another headache as the two bicker on and on and on.)

the pair of them usually go biking together, and it’s usually quite tranquil to start. until dick makes a sly comment that jason’s old bones must be so tired from cycling, so why not take a break? jason snide reponse is how the fuck are you touching the pedals with your stubby ass legs. that’s really all it takes for them to delve into a full on biking race. it never really ends well, but the two always come out rolling in laughter so whose to complain.

dick thinks real housewives of beverly hills is better then new jersey, and jason is adamant that new jersey is superior in every shape and way. the two agree that atlanta is the absolute winner no matter what though.

jason is dick’s english tutor. and it’s safe to say that it’s an experience. dick already knew a fair amount of english growing up, his father had been a wonderful teacher but it wasn’t exactly up to gotham academy standards apparently (jason knew the feeling) and his accent was still quite prevalent to have him be considered an esl kid, so jason ended up being his tutor once dick started going to english class at school and after his time with an esl instructor. jason, who has an untapped passion for literature that not many can match, is absolutely dedicated to teaching dick, because fuck man this is genius! genius, dick! and dick isn’t exactly a fan, but he does secretly think jason should be a teacher, he’s better then any of the teachers he’s had that’s for sure (his father would’ve really loved jason too, that was also for sure). and dick is considering buying him a little briefcase with his little initials on it. ((it happens, and jason tries really really hard not to cry))

bruce is absolutely that parent that secretly takes pictures of every single moment possible. he isn’t a photographer, in any sense, but he likes to capture natural moments, and he has a series of pictures dedicated to the one trip him and the boys took to Barbados where he started this habit. he wasn’t and still isn’t a big fan of beaches, they’re hot, crowded and just too much for bruce to feel any kind of comfortable in. he remembers sitting under a floppy beach umbrella, feeling the knot in his chest sit heavily on his heart, fire ants scurrying across the underlining of his skin, burning under the side stares of those passing by. it wasn’t until he caught a glimpse of dick riding on jason’s little shoulders, as they trotted around waist deep in the clear ocean water, that the fist squeezing his heart like the rotten fruit it was began to ease. he glanced down at the camera that alfred had subtly slipped into their bag after dicks insistence, and lifted it up to fiddle with it slightly. then raised it up to take a swift picture. capturing jason mid laughter as he leaned back, in a joking attempt to shake dick off who was in the middle of a yelp but had entrenched his hands in jason’s mop of curly hair. it was hilarious imperfect, but bruce would not want it any other way. not at all.

(jason found it once. he saw the picture at the corner of his eye sitting by the keyboard of the ‘Batcomputer’ ((dick was so shitty with names, thank god he didn’t come up with flippy man as his code name )), and he hesitated for a moment before hastily grabbing it. examining it with an unexpected amount of gentleness, he rubbed his thumb against the glass above dick’s hands in his hair and felt something snake around his heart. slowly and methodically seeping into it until he felt like he couldn’t fucking breathe. then he heard damian trotting down the stairs as he explained the details of his anthropology class to dick who was hopping down behind him. jason shoves the picture back and grits his teeth together to ignore the sting that was absolutely not in his eyes)

aAAAND THATS ALL!! i’ve had these in my notes for a while so it’s relief to get them out there hehe so i really hope y’all enjoy ive legit been falling in love with this reverse au bC THERE IS SO MUCH POTENTIAL U G H IVE NEVER BEEN EXCITED TO WRITE SHIT UNTIL NOW SO Y A Y FOR INSPIRATION

Y A Y :)

[cynicalrecoverysociety]

Daily Dispatch 1/22 and 1/23

Apparently I was so busy yesterday I forgot to make a daily dispatch. I'm the weekend lead so weekends are typically my hardest and busiest days.

I have been meeting my goals every day since I set them, secret and otherwise, so I'm quite pleased. Last night I had a fever and so I probably have the rona. I think I even know when I got it. I went to the head shop last week and got a replacement down stem. No one there was wearing masks which is pretty common in the middle of Missouri. Basically the only people wearing them are employees with a company policy and democrats so you really only see masks at Costco. Anyway as soon as I left I absentmindedly started biting my nail for like half a second before I was like what are you doing you neanderthal you touched a million things in there. But that was enough. I don't really feel that bad, but I've had a headache every day for a few days and a touch of sore throat. Thankfully I got my booster shot a month ago so it's unlikely to get that bad. Honestly I'm kinda glad it's the virus because I had too much spinal fluid when I was younger and it caused headaches every day like that and they said it could come back. So every time I get a series of headaches I'm like oh no I'm gonna have to get another spinal tap or roll the dice and see if I go blind. At least that's not happening again? Bright sides?

Anyway. As far as goals go I'm going to give myself a bit of slack while covid runs it's course. I don't feel that bad (just this stupid vague headache and the fever) so if I can do my yoga and planking, awesome. If not that's okay. Same for eating. I'm not allowed in the kitchen rn (the front room is my sick room and my SO is delivering anything I need to the hallway for me) so I'll eat what he brings. I'm also not going to dedicated fast while I'm sick. If I'm hungry I'll eat, though I will try to make decent choices. That said I got a pickup order (my mom is no contact delivering it to us) and it includes quick and convenient foods. I'm not going to begrudge myself whatever food we can manage to eat while sick. As long as I don't have a full binge, I'm counting it as a healthy day.

Trying to keep my spirits up. I predict a lot of guild wars. I have a big edible. I have a very soft and nice blanket. I have two lovely cats. I have cartoons and twin peaks and everything I need to just relax and chill. I got this.

View from my world rn:

Plank time: 17 seconds then 31 seconds

Healthy Eating Ratio: 18/22 (82%)

[1zashreena1]

I Am Having a Sad -9

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary: Princess has a bad and lonely self-esteem day. Diego goes too far too fast from 2500 miles away and she calls her safeword for the first time in her life. 

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

FEELS. the L word, SAFEWORD, depression/anxiety, self-esteem issues, sensory processing issues, sel-expression difficulties, plus size woman+fit man, soft!Diego,  overwhelmed Princess, is a relationship happening?? apparently. Leftover high school Spanish.

A/N:  Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic​​​​ @symbiont13​​​​ @nicke0115​​​​ @bunnykjm​​​​ @rosee-sensuelle​​​​ @girlpornparadise​​​​ @mandoplease​​​​ @heresathreebee​​​​ @xxsteph-enrixx​​​​ @jetiikad​​​​ @joalsglasses​​​​ @mutantcookiesecrets​​​​ @demoncatstone​​​​ @squidlywiddly87​​​​ @lockedoutofmyotherblog​​​ @poeedamerons​​

I am having a sad. This is normal and okay. I just have to wait it out. I do not need to text him. This pep talk would be more effective if you would stop staring longingly at the last selfie he sent you.

It isn't working. All you want right now is to be smothered in Diego but he is in a different time zone. And you don't want to be clingy. And demanding. And needy.

Surely making yesterday's selfie your new lock screen will help, right? 

With a big sigh you flop backwards into your bed. You eye your phone like it's a live grenade. It hasn't even been eight hours since the last text and. And you have this… pain? In your chest? What if I'm annoying him?

He has to be super busy, I should just wait. What time even is it in LA right now?

You snatch up the phone and check. 7:46 pm PDT. You wonder what he ate today. Did he have dinner yet? What shirt is he wearing? Does he have a headache? He always says he has a headache when he gets back to New York. And then you rub his head, stroke through his soft hair, stretch out his solid neck, break up all the adhesions in those broad shoulders.

Bitch, this is not helping. What do you hate about him?

Oh yeah, that list is blank.

You open up the text conversation and stare at the blinking cursor. Just one text can't hurt, right?

You look at the selfie again. He's in bed, deep plum sheet tucked up under his chin, all sleepy chocolate eyes and a soft little smile. His face is relaxed, leaning against his left hand. His beard is ruffled on one side, flattened on the other from where he must have slept on it. You can feel tears welling up again. 

How the fuck is he so gorgeous? Why is someone who looks like that sending me selfies? I have no right to this. I don't deserve this. 

You reach out and trace one finger down his cheek. His right dimple is visible under the stubble. Minimizing the picture, you go back to the cursor. The screen is blurry until you blink and one tear slips out. 

You type out one hasty 'hey' and hit send before you can quadruple guess yourself. This is stupid. He's too busy for your little drama queen hissy fit meltdown.

Sorry, should've asked if you're busy first 

Send.

Enough time passes that you flip the phone screen-down and plop it on your heaving chest. You bring both hands to your face and press into your closed eyelids. Just as you reach back down with a huge sigh the phone vibrates.

Princessssss. You know I'm never busy to you

You choke out a sob-laugh and try to breathe normally. Okay, now a decision. Idle chatter or metric fuckton of feels? While you waffle about it, Diego initiates a videocall. Oh, hell no. You jab 'Decline' so hard it bends your nail back.

What is wrong? Why can't I see you?

I just look like shit rn. Please don't 

That has never been true. Mi princesa bonita

Always quick with the compliments. You sniffle.

I just. I guess I just miss you. Tonight

Perfect, you hit send before could have deleted it. Great job. Wonderful. Brilliant. 

Is everything ok? This does not sound like sexytimes

Oh, Diego. 

Yeah, I'm fine. Mostly. I mean nothing is wrong, its just me

Just me having feels

… should you have sent that? Probably not. Do you regret it? Yes, instantly. In fact, if preemptive regret were possible you would already have drowned in it.

The phone is quiet for a minute. Good job dumbass, now he IS annoyed.

What kind? Sad feels? Headache feels? Work is stupid and frustrating feels? Huffy feels that require cheese? You have many feels. At all times. It sounds exhausting 

Yep. I'm annoying and clingy. You chastise yourself rather effectively.

You're right. Sorry. I got this

Does that sound bitchy? Is it bitchy? Oh my god, I need an off button.

Nonono. I asked. You have to answer. Its a rule

Your laugh is sharp. 

Since when do you care about rules lol

When they're your rules. We agreed to answer direct questions honestly, yes?

Well fuck. He got you there. You had agreed to that. When you two sat down in your living room after the Emotional Spanking*™ and had a 'groundframe setup' discussion. Sometimes you were fairly certain he mangled phrases just to watch your eye twitch violently. Little shit. 

OK fine. I'm feeling shitty about myself.  Happy??

Now that is bitchy. 

FORBIDDEN

And no, that does not please Diego

And is that why I exist? To please you??? 

Before you can stop it, your temper flares.

No Princess. The other way. Let me please you

Oh no. Oh shit. What. Is. Happening?? You are royally fucked now. This entire conversation has gone so completely off the rails that you can't even define a 'train'. Those little bouncing dots have not stopped yet.

Should I tell you how I miss you? How these stupid meetings and these stupid people and my stupid sister bore me when I would rather be listening to you read a dictionary? Or sing every word to every song ever played on the radio? Or explain the differences between cat breeds?

Or maybe I could say how ridiculously empty this bed is with only me in it. How there are no tiny socks hidden under the comforter. Not a single lip balm in sight.

Perhaps you need a list of everything I would touch. The soft lips. A little bitty hand. That tiny ribcage. Those thick thighs. With my beard, ofc. Your forehead with mine?

Oh. Ohh. Oh no. This is not fair. This is an attack. How did he just break me like this? Your face is flushed and you are crying outright now. You have to stop this right now.

Stop.stop please. Diego no

Diego yessss 

You can't take anymore. This isn't funny. You can't even form words. When autocorrect suggests the picture of a pineapple you stab it and then hit send in rapid succession.

Pinnaea🍍🍍

………………………...

Your phone emits one aborted ring then it cuts off.

Can I call? Please

You're trying to figure out a way to calm yourself, to stifle the heaving gasps and whiny sobs. You're nodding. Not useful, idiot, you scold yourself.

No video. Just talk. Please Princess

You can't say no to that when he is trying so hard. 

Ok yeah 

You barely see the message load on the screen when the ringing starts up again. Smacking the green button entirely too hard, you hold your breath to stop the pitiful sounds.

"Princess?" His voice is cautious, tone soft.

"I'm h-here." Is all you can manage. Any more and you'll burst into sobs again.

"Are you in bed?" Keeping it short and precise. Yes or no answers. Nothing too demanding. 

"Yeah. S-s-sitting." He is being so sweet. How is someone like Diego so sweet to you. Something rustles in the background. 

"What was it? A specific word? Or just too much?" His voice is hushed, like he might be in a small room…

"Are… are you in a c-c-closet?" Is he really…? You hold your breath.

"Si. Your closet is too small. I was going to send you a picture." He answers.

You absolutely cannot deal with this man. 

"Baby, I--" Your stupid soprano voice gives away how emotional you really are. He was going to send you a picture of a closet big enough for you to hide. Probably a panoramic shot so you could fully visualize it. Your chest compresses and you gasp.

"Princess? Talk. Make a noise. Something!" He sounds panicked. You suddenly remember he can't read your face this way. He can't see your pleased smile.

"That's. That's just. Diego, I love you so much." Its out before you can stop it. Even though you know he can't see it, you still hide your face.

"Love." He breathes softly into the phone. "Tell Diego what you need, my good little girl." His voice is quiet, controlled. He is letting you lead him where you want him. Everywhere. Forever.

You feel safe enough to actually confess, "I just have a, a really hard time believing… all of. That." You wave your hand in the air vaguely. "Not that you're lying!" You rush to clarify. "Just that anyone could actually like, well seems to, at least, everything…?"

"Did that make any sense?" You chew your lip anxiously.

His soft chuckle makes your stomach flip. "Well, it was technically English." Your snort sends him into quiet giggles.

"I like hearing you laugh." You whisper. He goes silent. You tense up.

"Perfect little princess. No one has ever told me that before. Most people are frightened of my laugh." He seems a little bewildered by his own words. Like he didn't mean for that to come out but now he definitely wants to hear the reaction.

You cover your smile, then pick up the phone so you can lie down. "Apparently I'm not most people." You feel around blindly until you locate TMP (Tiny Murder Panther) and tuck the stuffed animal under your chin for cuddles. "I like your voice, too. Like when you talk to me. Sometimes its just the words. Or rather my ingesting of them of that trips me up." Your quiet sniffle is hidden in silky black fur.

"The words are the problem? Do I need a, a…. The book with words that all mean the same thing." He bites out.

Sometimes you forget that English is his second language. Then things like this happen. And its fucking adorable.

"Thesaurus. Synonyms, baby." Your smile is audible.

"I know!" He huffs in mock indignation.

"I know you know. That's cute, though."

"So are your little 'aqui's and 'si's and 'ahora's."

"Fine! Gawd!" 

You both dissolve into laughter. It fades into easy silence while you rub your cheek over faux fur. 

He sighs gently into the phone. "Was it the forehead touching?" His voice trembles a bit, like he is unsure that he should have asked. As though afraid. A little overwhelmed, just like you.

"Um. Yes. Actually. That was. Yeah, that did it." You blink back tears. "We have a thing. We're a 'we'."

"That is what you want, yes?" Diego sounds cautious. As if he might accidentally utter an irreversible spell or something. Then, a quiet whisper, "It's what I want."

You suck in a deep breath and decide to just force it out. Just take what you desire. Jump already.

"I want you. I don't think a typical, um, relationship would work. But, people can define themselves. Relationships should operate the same way."

That… that actually sounded decisive and authoritative. Wow. You're really that bitch tonight, huh? You are very pleased with yourself. You can hear something sliding against the phone but can't identify the sound.

"There she is." The wide smile in his voice stabs directly into your heart. It was his beard rubbing the phone when he smiled. You laugh with his approval, pleasure burning through your veins.

"Maybe I can write some stuff down. For discussion purposes. Maybe you can write some stuff down for me. Reading it makes it seem more real to me."

"If that is your royal decree, Princess." He shuffles around, you can hear clothing rustling.

"Do you really like finding my orphan socks?" Your voice is sly, like a kid springing a trap question. He likes that smirky tone and you know it.

"They are cute. Just like the tiny feet. You are so very little, Princess." Oh, but he knows exactly how to flip the trap back onto you. The sound of muffled tapping comes through the line. "Tiny feet. Added to the list." His voice echoes the smallest bit, he must have you on speaker so he can access the note app. "Next item: fat ass."

You explode into guffaws. "Damnit Diego!" Your wheezing almost drowns out his husky laughter. 

"Wait! I almost forgot! Fan-tasss-tic. Rrrrack." He sounds out the words as he types them. You lose vocal control again, giggling like a child. Logically you know these juvenile jokes shouldn't be this amusing, but clearly you both have the same maturity level.

"Baby, you are my favorite pervert." Your declaration is met with haughtiness. 

"I had better be your only pervert, Princess." The possessive tone straightens your spine with shock. "You are mine!" He growls fiercely. 

Everything is quiet for a very long minute. You seem to have consumed every butterfly, hot sauce, and poprocks-and-cola mixture on the planet when you weren't paying attention. 

You think about all the gifts. Designer purses, specially tailored clothing, the six pairs of redbottoms you now own, how the last ring he gave you still twinkles up at you from your right hand (he took great pleasure in ensuring it fit your middle finger so you can still be pretty while you flip him off).

You remember all the places he has taken you. The Michelin starred restaurants, that hole-in-the-wall Mexican place where they know him by first name is your favorite, the stupid stores he wanders through with you, the cheesy tourist traps where he always gets you a hideously clichéd souvenir. 

Your memory flashes through a slide show of his laughter. Gleeful giggles at your horrified reaction to the neon orange lipstick he presented in Sephora. His wheezing delight when you gagged on the seaweed appetizer he shoveled into your mouth before you could object. The gentle, knowing chuckle when you pulled TMP out of your bag to take a nap two weekends ago.

You realize he is entirely correct.

"Yes I am, Diego." Is your quiet confirmation. 

"Bicki. I." He seems startled. You stay silent and let him gather his thoughts. The swallow is audible before he continues hesitantly, "I will see you this weekend, mi amor?"

All the ways this man says 'I love you' are so many more than just the actual words. Your pleased smile stretches your cheeks so far it hurts.

"Yes please!" Your shameless request ends in a yawn. "Sorry." 

"You need to sleep for work, Princess. I have one last meeting here then I will be there tomorrow." 

You wish he was here now but keep that to yourself. 

"OK, let me know when you're here." 

I am so not wearing panties under that new maxidress for the flight up and demanding that he pick me up personally. Yes. A perfect plan. You amuse even yourself with your scheming.

"Be careful tonight, Diego. I want you to come home to me." The thought of anything happening to him crushes your throat.

"I, I want that, too. Love you." All comes tumbling out of him in a rushed confession of quiet hopefulness. It makes you so happy that tears well up again. Fucking stop this, woman.

"Love you. Bye, baby." You whisper warmly, hoping he can feel even an ounce of how deliriously happy he makes you.

"Goodnight, Princess." The reply is sighed, full of self-conscious relief and pleasure. His rough voice is so calm and soothing that you nod off before the line disconnects, face tucked into his miniature proxy.

…………………………...

Incoming text

Friday 12:09am

From: Murder Panther

🥰💋💟💯🔜

[roxa-sos]

heaven's gate, part two - morning mulling (john b routledge)

john b routledge x reyna lance

tw; a little smutty?, morning after shit

part two; hungover reyna can’t possibly seem to hate her one night stand, no matter how hard she tries.

a/n -- this is just fuckin chaos rn lmaooo nobody’s doing anything productive

×××

reyna was no stranger to waking up with random people she didn't know.

there was a warm ray of sunlight on her face, which was what ultimately woke the girl up. the headache she had hit her before she even opened her eyes, her body aching and her head pounding. as she took a deep breath and opened her eyes, she realized she wasn't in her bedroom. wasn't in a bedroom at all, actually. rather, in the back of some ratty van, curled up across a seat. sitting up, what had been covering most of her body fell from her chest, leaving her exposed. she quickly pulled it back up, glancing around.

nobody was there.

the material that had been covering her looked like an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt, sprawled across her body. unfortunately, on the floor of the van, she saw only her shorts and panties she'd been wearing the night before. reyna had to assume that it was better than nothing as she pulled them back on, buttoning up the shirt that had been on top of her in replacement for her own. while this ensamble didn't leave much for the imagination, it wasn't like anything reyna wore otherwise was any better.

she opened the van door, climbing out and closing it behind her. this was definitely not the boneyard, and it was definitely not figure eight.

"nice to see you up, sunshine." reyna heard a voice from a few feet away, and turned to see a familiar face.

john b. his face, and voice, quickly had her remembering the night before. he was laying in a hammock, which was a ways away from a dockside house.

reyna didn't respond to him at first, dragging her hands through her hair as she looked at him. "how the fuck did you drive me here without me realizing?"

"you're a heavy sleeper, i guess. that, or i was just so good, you had to recharge after." he answered her, a teasing smile on his face as he admired the girl standing in his yard. "don't worry, we got here, like, twenty minutes ago. you didn't miss much."

"good," reyna nodded, ignoring his first few comments. "and i just... fucking, passed out last night? in your van?"

john b chuckled, getting out of the hammock. "not just in my van, in my arms, but yeah. we had a nice talk before that, though."

"we did?" reyna wasn't too philosophical when she was completely drunk and in that post-sex haze.

"no, i'm kidding," he laughed once more, shaking his head as he walked towards reyna. "you hungry?"

"are you just trying to get me to come inside?" she didn't seem to impressed by anything he was saying. he was kind of an ass, but to be fair, he was hot. and honestly, that was just reyna's type, so there was no surprise in the fact that she hooked up with him in his van, of all places.

"yes or no, sunshine." he didn't answer her question, only giving her options so that she could answer his.

"yeah, sure, yes." she brushed it off, yawning as he passed by to lead her towards the door.

the way his shorts hung rather low on his hips had reyna feeling what she must've felt the night before. not to mention, the fact that she could see her own marks she'd left on his neck and chest had her feeling the same. his lack of shirt was doing something to her, and she was almost embarrassed by that.

god, since when did she hang with pogues? since when did reyna lance, kook of the century, fuck a well known pogue?

"why are you being so nice to me?" she asked as he held his front door open for her, pulling her hair over her shoulder.

"like, just right now, or last night? and if last night, early last night, or when you were sitting on my-"

"all of the above, excluding when i was naked." she interrupted him, shaking her head. she didn't really want him to rub it in her face.

"alright, well," he closed the door once she was inside, walking her into his kitchen. "it was fun to watch you get drunk for no reason. i mean, since when do you drink anything that topper thornton doesn't give you?" john b joked, earning nothing short of a sour look from reyna. "and... you don't suck, i guess."

she gave him a confused expression, "i don't suck?"

"no, like, you're... bearable."

"bearable?"

"okay, well, if you keep repeating what i say, you won't be so bearable. you want cheerios?" he shut her up, turning to face her when he pulled a box out of the cabinet. 

reyna rolled her eyes at his first statement, shrugging when he asked what she wanted. "i'm lactose intolerant."

"i never said you had to have milk." john b shook his head as if reyna was being unreasonable. 

she scoffed, leaning on the kitchen table. "okay, i take back what i said earlier, you're kind of being a dick."

"what, you want me to kick you out and let you walk back to the boneyard for your car? also, how does toast sound?" john b put the box of cereal back, giving the girl a fed up look.

"toast is fine," she finally answered, watching as he threw some bread in the toaster before turning around to face her.

while reyna wanted nothing more than to hate the boy, in all actuality, he was pretty hard to hate. he wasn't a total asshole - and if he was being a dick, he had a good reason. of course, reyna being reyna, she considered her being there a fine reason. she was shamelessly checking him out, eyes skimming over the skin she'd been pressed against the night before. 

"you just decided to... what, throw on my shirt when you woke up?" he asked, pushing himself off of the counter to make his way towards her.

she glanced down at her own figure, running her hand over the fabric of his shirt. "you were the one who left it on top of me," she brought her gaze back to the boy approaching her.

"well," john b looked her up and down once more before meeting her eyes, his own body mere inches from hers, "you look... good in it." he took the liberty of placing his hand on her hip, the other hand snaking under the shirt and meeting her covered skin.

"you looked better," she breathed, head turned slightly upward to get a better look at him. she didn't mind his touch, it was rather reassuring to know that under all of what seemed to be hatred for her was some... lust, at least.

he pushed her up so that she was sitting on the table rather than leaning on it, connecting their lips once more. his hands traveled across her body, and she wasn't opposed to a single thing he was doing. it was hard to hate him.

just as she three her head back so that he could have more access to her neck as his lips skimmed over her jaw, the toast popped. "fuck," reyna breathed as john b removed his hands from her body and walked back towards the toaster.

"bold of you to assume i'm just gonna... keep hooking up with you," john b thought out loud, putting the toast on two plates before opening his fridge.

"why is that bold? was i that bad?" reyna joked, trying to get a legitimate reason out of him.

john b shook his head, a dumbfounded smile on his face as he turned to look at her, "you can't tell me you can't figure it out on your own." 

reyna shook her head, eyebrows furrowed. he didn't seem to be joking, he looked like he genuinely thought she was dumb.

"let's see, i'd have topper, kelce, rafe, sarah, cynthia, ryland, hunter, and like, a million other kooks burning my house down." he laughed while naming every kook he could think of, shaking his head as he looked back towards his fridge. "not to mention sean fucking lance, so, hard pass." 

"please," reyna rolled her eyes, "topper? sure, be scared of him. kelce too, but i don't know kelce super well. rafe just offers me coke whenever i see him at a party. sarah's... uh, my best friend's girlfriend, i don't know what she'd do. cynthia's a dumbass. ryland is up in vermont with his family this summer. hunter's looking at colleges. you've got, like, max three people to be... scared of, or whatever." she shot down almost everyone he posed as a reason to not sleep with her again. 

"and your dad?"

"my dad is an asshole." she practically groaned. it sounded strange coming out of her mouth, usually she praised her dad in public.

that statement seemed to surprise john b, seeing as he left it there. 

"besides, from my perspective, you've never been scared of kooks, man." reyna gestured towards him, thinking back to every time john b or another kook had gotten into a fight with her or her friends.

"did you just call me 'man'?" john b chuckled, picking up the plates and walking them towards the kitchen table. reyna slipped off of the wood and sat down in a chair as he sat a plate in front of her, giving him a small nod.

"so what if i did?" 

john b didn't say anything else, instead taking a bite of his toast. 

"fuck," reyna muttered to herself, pulling her phone out of her back pocket once she remembered it was there. 

forty six texts. thirteen missed calls. all from one contact, 'top 🤮'. the latest of which being;

'did you fucking die?'

'tell me you actually got home last night'

'i swear to god if you make me go back to the boneyard to drive your hungover body back to my place'

'reyna. reyna. reyna. dumb slut.'

'pick up my calls or i'm calling the cops.'

with that, her phone began buzzing again, and she picked up. glancing back at john b with the phone pressed to her ear, she answered with a short "hello?" john b looked confused, but he didn't stop eating, he just watched her take the call.

"where the fuck are you?" topper's voice rang through, not even saying hi.

"i'm fine, thanks for asking."

"don't be like that- christ, your parents would've killed me if you, like, died or something." topper sighed, and reyna could hear the tension in his voice fade.

"aw, someone was worried about me." reyna laughed, bringing the toast up to her mouth to take a bite while listening to topper.

"where are you?"

"none of your business, asshole." she scoffed, ignoring his question. 

"just wondering. you need a ride?" topper seemed more overprotective than anything else most of the time. 

"no, i-"

"oh, who'd you hook up with, then?" 

"that's none of your fucking business, top." reyna pinched the bridge of her nose, leaning her elbow on the table. john b sighed when he heard her address the caller by name.

"actually, it's 90% my business, but fine. bye."

"bye." reyna hung up and threw her phone down on the table. she knew topper was going to want more than that the next time they saw each other, but that was as good as she could do for the time being.

john b picked up their empty plates and set them on the counter, turning to face reyna once more as she stood up from the chair she'd been in. "want a ride back to that porsche?"

"yeah, please." 

taglist; @maebanks @dpaccione @outerbxrafe @jjbabyouterbanks @wtfstarkey @milaonthemoon @spilledtee @jjmaebank @parkerpetertingle

[guessmonsta]

Kuroo x Reader- Wingman

Inconsistency is key. Everything I write is for my dear friend Emily. Anyway, here’s some fun, low-key raunchy, high-key reference-y Kuroo content for everyone in quarantine rn. Stay safe and wash your hands <3

Kuroo was, at some point tonight, going to lose his mind. 

He knew showing up to Bokuto’s stupid little “house party” was going to get him in trouble one way or another. By “house party”, Bokuto meant he was going to try to cram the volleyball team starters, his roommates basketball friends, a couple of girls, and miscellaneous friends on the side into his college campus dorm room. 

It ideally didn’t sound like much fun, but he was going to take whatever chance he got to get out of his dorm. As much as Kuroo got out in high school, in college he felt bound to chemistry textbooks and volleyball practice. He liked to joke around with his friends and say it wasn’t easy being smart, athletic, and sexy, but there really wasn’t anything sexy about under eye bags and lab goggles. 

He usually showed up to Bokuto’s dorm before anyone else did. His roommate was out of town, so it was just some volleyball guys and a few others for the night. Kuroo didn’t really mind, the basketball guys were too much to handle for him right now, anyway. A cluster headache started forming behind his right eye, and he must’ve made a stank face, because Bokuto started stifling laughter from the bed across the room. 

“Do you have to go take a shit or something?” He asked, picking up a pillow from the bed and chucking it at Kuroo’s head. 

“Nah. I’m just starting to think I peaked in high school.” 

“See? This is why you should’ve majored in business like me. I keep it cool, I keep it classy. I focus on three things, volleyball, whatever business majors do, and boobs.” Bokuto made a gesture as if he was flipping hair over his shoulder. Kuroo shook his head. 

“When I come up with a cure for stupidity twenty years down the line, you’re not getting any of it.” Kuroo stuck his tongue out, and Bokuto feigned shock. 

“I thought we were bros.” 

“Bros support bros. And you’ve gotta support me through fucking-” Kuroo took a deep sigh then exhaled, “Chemistry-y.” 

“Hey listen, you sound like a big major bum right now and it’s making me wanna hit you with another pillow.” 

“Do it, I dare you.” Kuroo grabbed the pillow previously thrown at his head, and spiked it back over at Bokuto, who dodged it. 

“I’ve got some cool people coming over though.” Bokuto exclaimed while contemplating on throwing the pillow back.

“Oh, like the guy who chugged three beers in a row last time and puked all over that one girls lap? And you had to calm her down from crying because All Star started playing from Shrek on the TV and we all were holding back laughter so she wouldn’t cry harder?” 

Bokuto made a face of disgust in response. “Absolutely not. It’s just gonna be me, you, Tendou ‘cause he’s got the goods, Ushijima ‘cause he makes me think god might just be a man, Yukie ‘cause she makes me remember god is actually a woman, a couple of Yukie’s girl friends ‘cause girl power, and __ too ‘cause she didn’t come last time and I miss her.” 

__ was Kuroo and Bokuto’s mutual friend they met in their first semester of college. She sat with them during their freshman orientation course, and they hit it off from there. She was a funny thing, always had bright eyes and a smile on her face. Kuroo noticed his cluster headache wasn’t as bad as he previously thought. 

There was definitely something about her that made Kuroo wish he had time for a serious relationship. Even then, he would make all the time in the world for her if he really could. He hadn’t seen her for a couple months- his only contact with her was sharing memes back and forth on Instagram. The thought of seeing her again made something flutter in his stomach. 

“Oh wait.” Bokuto must have noticed the look on Kuroo’s face, because he started laughing. “O-oh man I forgot you had a thing for __!” 

“I haven’t seen her in forever bro.” Kuroo looked up at Bokuto and fake pouted his lower lip. “Like if I could make that one puppy eye emoji face in real life I would do it.” 

“Awh, does somebody have a cwush?” Bokuto teased in a baby voice. 

“Yes.” He replied, in the same fashion. Then a smile extended on his face. 

“Du-ude if you told me __ was coming over I would’ve made myself look nicer. I’ve been wearing the same gray joggers for like, three days.” 

“College do be doing that to you, doe.” Bokuto got up, then flopped on the couch next to Kuroo. “Listen though, I’m your number one wing man. I gotchu.” 

“Do you mean that, bro?”

“Always, bro.” 

Without knocking, Tendou burst through the dorm door, holding a big brown bag of god knows what under his arm. 

“Your king has arrived.” He announced, and Ushijima awkwardly followed in behind him, muttering a respectful, “hello.” 

“I’m sorry, did I walk in on something… intimate?” Tendou glanced over at Kuroo and Bokuto, who were sitting closely together on the couch. 

“No bro, we’re just two bros, sitting on a dorm couch, one inch apart cause we’re comfortable with our sexuality.” Kuroo winked, and Tendou clutched at his heart in mock embarrassment. 

Yukie and her friends followed soon after, all carrying different bags of chips. 

“Just so y’all know.” Yukie announced, “All this food? It’s mine. None of you can touch it.” 

“Would you trade the bag of popcorn for a brownie?” Tendou winked. Yukie tilted her head, and nodded slightly. 

“I’ll see. Our offer still stands.” 

Another widespread conversation started, something about which movie to watch this time, or something along the lines of that. He heard “Bee Movie” and “Shrek 2”, but nothing more. All he could really think about was when __ was going to show up. He felt stupid for feeling nervous about seeing her again, especially when they were always so comfortable with each other. He had to stretch to try to calm the butterflies down in his stomach. 

Then there was a knock at the door. Bokuto quickly kicked him in the shin as a sign to stand up and get the door. Kuroo shot him a look, to which he only stuck his tongue out. Why the hell did he feel nervous getting the door for her? As far as he knew, they were only friends, just buddies, just bros. But god, even if he was dying to see her, he was sure hesitant to open that door. 

One he did, he was met with a bright smile and a playful punch to the forearm. 

“Aye!” She exclaimed, quick to then pull him into a quick hug. “I haven’t seen you in forever!” 

“I know! What happened, __? What have you been up to?” Kuroo was almost hesitant to hug her back, but allowed himself to for it. His hand creeped into her hair and he allowed himself to exhale deeply. Whatever was remaining of his headache from before vanished. 

“Man, it’s been the absolute pits. I’ve been swamped with work ‘cause of the new semester.” 

“Well, I’ve-” Kuroo caught himself quick before he could continue. “Bokuto and I have missed you a lot.” 

“Awh, really?” She chuckled. “I missed your dumbasses too.” 

She set her jacket down by everyone else’s, then was quick to take a seat next to Bokuto, who already pulled her into a hug and ruffled her hair. He was saying something to her, but Kuroo didn’t hear it. There was a quiet white static in the back of his mind that was dragging him in and out of reality. “The Road To El Dorado” was playing on TV. Who’s executive decision was this, again? 

Kuroo sat down next to __, and Tendou and two of Yukie’s friends sat down too. The couch was definitely too small for six people, but somehow they were making it work. Tendou was pretty much half a person, anyway. But what Tendou didn’t have, Bokuto definitely made up for.  Kuroo then noticed that he was right up against __’s body, and it took a lot of power in him to keep his cool. She had really nice thighs, really nice thighs that were touching his. He wondered if she knew that, that she had nice thighs. It was definitely a terrible day to be wearing gray joggers. 

Kuroo then quickly assessed the situation in his head. On one side of him, there was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. She was dressed in this cute little oversized sweater and she smelled like a mix of pretty girl and coffee shop. On the other side of him, was Tendou, who didn’t nearly have half the sex appeal as __, so it was a conflicting situation for Kuroo for sure. 

“To pop a boner, or to not pop a boner, that is the question.” Kuroo thought to himself, then immediately made a face at his own thought. “Tetsurou, you’re so weird. You’re acting so weird right now.” 

Kuroo then looked over at __, who was now watching the movie with what seemed like half interest, half confusion. 

She really did look like an angel. 

“Tetsurou, do you hear yourself? Do you even hear yourself?” 

She then leaned her head against his arm, and he heard Bokuto snicker quietly, and shoot him a look. He could see his face out of the corner of his eyes, but refused to look over at him. 

“Oh my god, Tetsurou, you’re gonna pop a boner. You’re gonna pop a boner because she’s touching you and she’s so pretty- Do I go to the bathroom? Should we go to the bathroom?” 

Kuroo noticed her look up at him, and he was quick to catch her eye. 

“Is this bothering you?” She muttered. 

“Nah.” He smiled. “I get it, chicks dig these volleyball arms.” 

__ giggled quietly, and her attention was directed back to the movie. 

“Chicks dig these volleyball arms? Are you KIDDING me right now?” 

A couple more minutes passed in silence. There was a quiet mumbled conversation between Tendou and Yukie about those brownies, but Kuroo toned it out quickly. Suddenly, __ announced. 

“Y’all know what? Honestly? Tulio could get it.” 

Kuroo watched as Bokuto quickly shifted, and cleared his throat to reply, 

“Don’t you think Tulio kinda looks like Kuroo?” 

__ lifted her head up from Kuroo’s shoulder and looked at him, to which he tried to hold back a smile. Bokuto might not have been the smoothest wingman, but he made it work. 

“Oh shit, you’re right. I can see it.” 

Kuroo then sat there, saying absolutely nothing. He knew if he said something his voice would probably crack. There was nothing sexy at all about being related to a cartoon character, but it was kind of sexy that she said that he looked like a cartoon character that could get it. In some fragment of his mind, he started thinking about how she could totally get it. One of his arms slowly and inconspicuously fell between his legs. With the other, he flashed a quick peace sign and made a kissy face. 

Oh my god, he was gonna die tonight.

“__, do you think Kuroo could get it too?”

“I, for one, definitely think Kuroo could get it.” Tendou announced. Well, there goes his pants issue. 

“Thank you, bro.” Kuroo managed to spit out. 

“Kuroo could get it.” Ushijima muttered from the ground, which was the most anyone had gotten out of him all night. 

“I dunno, he’s not my type. But in the perfect world he could get it.” Yukie laughed.

“I mean shit.” __ shrugged. He wasn’t sure if it was from the lighting, or what, but Kuroo noticed her face flush red. “Yeah Kuroo could get it.” 

And pants. 

There was a wavering silence for another half hour. He was still hyper aware of her leg touching his, and every other minute detail about his setting, despite the movie. What was the movie even about, anyway?  It was about halfway through, then __ announced, 

“I have to go pee.” 

“Thank you.” Bokuto muttered in reply. 

As she stood up, Kuroo found himself grabbing her hand. 

“Hey, lemme go with you.”

“To… to pee?”

“No this, this is a guys dorm. You don’t wanna get lost going down to the general bathrooms and get caught by somebody.” Kuroo stammered slightly, but followed her out of the room. “You never know what kind of guys there are out there.”

“Awh, are you protecting me?” She cooed, bumping into his side lightly.

“Yeah. I am.” He shot her a quick smile, then looked away. His heart was pounding in his chest. This was the perfect opportunity to back her up against the wall and just kiss her, or something, but he couldn't find it in him to do it. 

People always liked to say he was the sexy friend. The attractive friend. The lady killer. The sex god. He had absolutely none of that, and it showed. 

“Hey, uhm, I hope you didn’t think it was weird when I said you could get it.” 

“Hey, hey, no offense taken.” He chuckled. “I’m just offended you weren’t serious.” 

The moment he said that, he quickly regretted it. She started laughing, but was quick to stop. 

“Wait, are you serious?” 

Kuroo then stopped walking and sighed, almost dramatically. 

“Listen.” 

“Listening.” 

He noticed her clasp her hands together underneath her baggy sweater sleeves. He inhaled sharply, then exhaled. 

“You’re really important to me. As a friend and as a human being.” Kuroo watched her sniffle, and her face go red. “I would use a stupid pickup line on you right now but I’m way too nervous. I really like you, __.” 

He watched a goofy smile spread across her cheeks. Her face only got redder as she looked down at her feet, then back up at him. 

“I never knew if you liked me or not cause you jokingly hit on everyone.” She smiled. “I like you too. I thought I made it pretty obvious.” 

“Oh my god, come here.” Kuroo then scooped her up in a hug, and placed a soft, tentative kiss on her lips. She stumbled a little bit, and he backed her up against the wall. He pulled away for a brief second to chuckle, then kissed her again, his heart slamming against his rib cage. He couldn't believe he actually did it, after all this time of pinning and waiting over her texts- 

__ then pulled away, but not before planting a soft kiss on his nose. 

“I like this a lot, Kuroo, but I still have to pee.” 

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

lucifer s5 thoughts pt1

behind a cut so i can be as spoilery as i want:

5x01 - i’m so glad they brought back Mr. Said Out Bitch i kinda love his recurring arc

everybody is unspooling hard this season already which is interesting cuz s4 was one long bad spiral. linda’s doing it through helicopter parenting, amenadiel’s trying to superhero the world, dan’s a walking positivity meme, ella’s in heat for bad guys for unknown reasons, lucifer’s in a totally different timeline in hell, maze redirected all her feelings at chloe and chloe used maze to ignore her own

speaking of which, OUCH. chloe seems genuinely surprised that 1) maze could misread her signals and 2) that maze doesn’t take rejection well... chloe you’re a detective neither of these things should be a surprise

when lucifer whistled and chloe heard him i pressed both my hands to my heart because i am a sucker for love and this show gets me

lesley ann brandt raging out is a sight to behold but also maze is so alone my hearts breaks for her

this show still has the best soundtrack

damn i was really hoping that one reunion could be genuine and the Evil Twin wouldn’t show up until later :(

5x02 - also i wonder who else noticed the tiny viewer warnings for this season and had the word ‘suicide’ jump out at them like it was neon? i don’t like the foreshadowing of that one bit

this fuckin show really looks at its plot and goes ‘you know what we can’t forget this season? to use the evil twin’s arrival as a pretext for filming tom’s ass. just, the longest slow pan shot ever at his backside without a stitch of clothing. let’s see if we can hold it for a full thirty seconds. live your dreams everyone.’

‘a little white lie could be quite beneficial’ *grins creepily* ...does he think that’s charm? is that what he thinks he is, charming? cuz he’s quite visibly evil rn

listen watching chloe fall apart last season and not be able to trust lucifer or look at him was horrible but the flip side of that is suspicious chloe now. i know it won’t last but please, show, let me have this, i’ve never respected her and her trust issues more

‘you two are perfect for each other’ the only thing more fun than watching lucifer egregiously misunderstand everything linda says is watching chloe do it. linda i missed you, you try so hard and fail so much

lol this show is really leaning into the bryan cranston janitor rule. i wonder who the killer could possibly be, the four random people they’ve interrogated or sharon freaking osbourne

BITE THE HEAD OFF A BAT the sass in the writer’s room my gosh

oh okay i found this a lot funnier before i realized that she’s playing herself. meh, my headache has ruined my ability to do things like read nametags i guess

oh, maze. :( don’t get played by this asshole when your vulnerabilities already got preyed on by cain in s3. you deserve better than that

i’m waiting for the show to serve up a chloe decker Look™ this season but she’s wearing the bullet necklace :D and that delights me endlessly

this is SO gross and he’s SUCH a creep get your fucking hands off her

i love tom a lot i really do but i might hate michael even more than cain, the lying and the manipulation is so much crueler already

AMENADIEL REMAINS THE MVP OF THE WHOLE DAMN SHOW i’m not even a little bit surprised that he’s the first one to figure it out himself i was expecting nothing less 

‘deeply desperate, obviously, if he was reaching out to you’ DAMN chloe i’m so torn between feeling bad for maze that you’re kinda dense and mean as her friend lately and feeling ready to be pissed at maze if she lets you sleep with michael thinking he’s lucifer when maze knows just how wrong it would be to say nothing, you can see it cross her face

ohhhhh dude you have now messed with chloe, maze AND linda. if you come within ten feet of trixie i’m going to be wishing death upon you i s2g

I AM LITERALLY TEARING UP 

I AM SO PROUD OF CHLOE JANE DECKER

thank you, show, for letting her not be stupid this season she should never be the level of stupid she would have to be to believe this creep

‘you know that won’t kill me’ ‘yeah but it makes me feel better’ where is lauren german’s action movie? i want to watch it she’s got such a vibe 

5x03 - lucifer: my descriptions have made the perfect show...chloe: *trying to decide between punching him or throwing up*

‘i dunno, 30?’ MAZE AND LINDA all they do is bring me joy

okay happy!dan teasing lucifer reminds me how much i loved the actor on true blood and even thought that reminds me of nelsan ellis which makes me sad it also makes me really happy--dan was so painful to watch in s4 and i used to be such a fan of the actor playing him that it’s nice to remember why

5x04 - the year was 1946 YAY IT’S HAPPENING

i asked them to give me a chloe Look™ and they stuck her in 1940s menswear i couldn’t approve more

this episode is so incredibly silly i lost it at ella’s swagger down the alley...but i don’t care how silly it gets they gave me charlotte married to a very surly chloe and that + maze in a nightclub is well worth it

kevin alejandro is here in his suit of armor to remind everyone that playing Relatively Normal Guy Dan Espinoza is the very least he and his genius acting range are capable of, i love it

as soon as i realized amenadiel was the only one we hadn’t seen yet, i was waiting for this moment...hi melvin your 1940s accent is the best thing i have ever heard right alongside your car monologue

i honestly cannot decide what my favorite thing is about this absolutely insane episode but it might be the fact that it looks so noir but cannot be even a little noir at all because this is lucifer which is not a dismal show so instead it is just fucking hilarious and reminds me of clue 

this show MY GOD shirl & jack i can’t i’m incoherent at this point also i miss eve she brought so much girlkissing to lucifer please come back eve

‘not if they are going to be unbreakable.’ my heart just broke for maze all over again but even harder this time

goddamn i already identified with maze but that really hurt and also i’m really glad this season is letting her dig deeper, they laid such groundwork for her abandonment issues with her mom and i didn’t expect them to follow through on it so well