#twrestriction

[ve-ro-nica]

my mom just asked how many calories i’ve been eating bc she knows i’m “dieting”

[wlweatingdisorders]

people are always talking about recovery,, but like no one mentions "how"?? like, am I meant to slowly eat more and more until its normal portions or just jump straight into normal portions after eating like > one meal a day for months?? also is it normal to feel guilty about recovery??? idk anymore.

recovery is a personal journey for everyone and it isn’t linear as your body and your mental state are two different things.

depending on a factor of things, you could develop refeeding syndrome where it could be dangerous if you start eating loads again as your body won’t be used to it. here is some history behind it however depending on a number of factor of things(like how long you’ve restricted for and so forth); 

below is a link should help you;

Guidelines for Prevention and Management of Refeeding Syndrome in Adults

but please seek medical advice when you’re going though refeeding as im not a doctor!!

tdlr; basically i can’t tell you how much to eat but slowly build up your food and your intake depending how safe it is for you at the moment x

your mindset, will be behind however you shouldn’t feel guilty that you want to recover and its normal to question recovery. i think “how” people recover is that they find the motivation to do it. the fact you want to recover shows to me that you can do it. and we all believe in you! 

[dietdrpepperily]

my goal is just to keep triggering myself. like if i was able to get that thin once, i can do it again. 

[ve-ro-nica]

some events at school have left me feeling so worthless and inadequate, i really want to stop eating again. also the really dark thoughts are coming back again and i’m not sure i can cope with them this time around. I’m really starting to realise i can’t do this on my own and it’s just going to get out of hand again but i’m too afraid to seek help.

[ve-ro-nica]

after a month or so of reverse dieting, I have gotten up to 1600kcals from 700kcals. My weight has come back down to around 63.4kg from the fluctuations of first starting. My body has already begun to repair itself. My digestion is way better, and I’m actually feeling physically hungry again while eating the number of calories which is so great. If you are considering recovery - please do it.

[ve-ro-nica]

I’ve got a break off school for the next two weeks and i’m going to attempt to recover or increase my food intake - every 10 days increasing by 50cals starting from 1200 wish me luck lol

i do this because the other night i had bad pains in my chest and back not being able to breath properly and i went to sleep geniuinely scared as to if i was going to wake in the morning. That was a breaking point i think

i also just can’t do it anymore. it’s finally hit me that i’m going to die far too soon if i continue, i’ve already had some pretty concerning symptoms so i need to try and fix this before it’s too late

i urge you to do the same. you deserve a better life than this.

[ve-ro-nica]

I feel so guilty everyday eating more than 1000 calories, and i don’t even have a desire to eat i just have to force things like protein shakes down to get the calories in... but i’m trying to hold in there... gained 4kg in 3 days and i was so upset and cried... but do i want to have chest pains? do i want to die at 16? no... so i keep going.... i’ve heard that once your body is back to its normal state out of starvation mode it come back down eventually... i hope that’s the case.

also sorry for not responding to the last post it uses my main account and it’s a fan account lol and i don’t really want to show that but thank you to that person who left a kind message... you all deserve happiness and nourishment.

[ve-ro-nica]

I ate 1,200kcals a day this weekend again and i weighed myself to convince myself to not do that again but then i lost 0.4kg

what.

....maybe i can get better

[ve-ro-nica]

Food Diary for tomorrow~~

starting to do intermittent fasting...

Breakfast:

Black coffee w/ cinnamon

Lunch:

Collagen protein bar

protein shake

(i’ll probably consume these separately bc i hear bodies can only absorb 35g of protein at a time??)

Dinner:

salad with x2 chicken tenders & lite honey mustard dressing

Dessert?

sugar free chocolate and hot chocolate

Total cals: 747

protein: 67g

carbs: 38g

fat: 27

I’m only really concerned about protein and carbs, try to stay around 50g carbs (max is like 80g during the week but not often) and over 50g of protein

[ve-ro-nica]

u know what would be nice being able to eat 1200 calories without wanting to kms??????

[ve-ro-nica]

Food Diary: 11/04/2020

breakfast:

30g oats

1/2 cup almond milk

tsp cinnamon

35g banana

151kcal

lunch:

mini pita bread

28g banana

130kcal

dinner:

250g lamb soup

1/2 serving wheatmeal toast

162kcal

evening meal??

no sugar hot chocolate

1/2 cup almond milk

fibre one fudge bar

141kcal

other snacks:

1/2 serving no sugar chocolate

1 serving homemade banana bread

178kcal

total kcal: 761

[wlweatingdisorders]

I dont know if i have an eating disorder or im just faking it. I go through periods of time where im fine but then i get triggered and stop eating for a few weeks. Sometimes it lasts longer. I feel like a fake because its never consistent. I want to tell someone and get help but im afraid if i relapse that people will try to stop me.

You don’t sound like a fraud at all, it sounds like you have an eating disorder and you should seek help! 

Just because you don’t think you fit the view of an eating disorder, doesn’t mean to say you don’t have one. 

Eating Disorders don’t have a look at all! i wish you the best for your recovery~

[wlweatingdisorders]

I've been doing amazing in my recovery for the past year but I just got a girlfriend and she's much thinner than me.. im starting to fall back into old patterns because i can't stop comparing myself.. im counting calories again and i didn't eat at all yesterday. i don't know what to do because im trying so hard but I still feel disgusting.

im so happy 4 u that ur doing well in recovery!!!

im so sorry that she’s triggering u :(( maybe speak to her how you feel?? im sure she wouldn’t want u to restrict, u just have to try and remember that everyone are different sizes and everyone is different and beautiful in their own way. i hope you start seeing food as something to enjoy and not calories n numbers. 

besides im sure u are beautiful and you don’t need to restrict. they’re lil blips in recovery however its picking yourself up is the main thing💖

[wlweatingdisorders]

so i’m currently not diagnosed with anything but my girlfriend thinks i’m showing signs of developing an ed. sometimes i see her point and other times i get angry with her (or anyone else) for suggesting it. yesterday i didn’t eat because i had a photo session and when i got the photos back today i was excited because my hip and collar bones were prominent, but i find myself thinking that i’m still not small enough. i’m sorry for unloading, it’s just idk what to do or who to talk to about this

sorry i didn’t get back to you, i’ve been super busy in treatment! anyhow, from what it sounds like you do have possibly have bdd and an eating disorder. 

“sometimes i see her point and other times i get angry with her (or anyone else) for suggesting it”

it’s normal for people with disordered eating or eating disorders to get angry, the voice in your head says she’s wrong right? it’s better to talk to her at why you’re angry. even if you can’t say it allowed - maybe in a text or a letter 

its fine you’re venting! i’d rather you do that tbh

[wlweatingdisorders]

So if I don't identify completely with some of the common symptoms of most eating disorders, but I know that I have disordered eating? I usually skip a lot of meals and eat very little when I do tend to eat, but I'm not sure why. I enjoy food, but I just never feel like eating and it upsets my girlfriend (I've gotten really thin). It's been a problem for a little more than a year and I'm not sure what to do about it. My parents aren't accepting of it at all and force me to eat, even if I can't.

it sounds like u do have an eating disorder tho :( 

i know it must be so hard to eat, but your girlfriend and your parents love you thats why they want you to eat. they probally don’t understand and just want you to survive, thats why they’re making you eat. have you told them how you feel? writing down or sending them a text may help if you can’t say it in person. 

is it possible to get help at all though a doctor or someone if you don’t mind me asking?

[wlweatingdisorders]

How do I start eating normally again? I only know how to binge or starve/restrict. There is not in between. I have physically sat in front of food and didn’t know what to do with it. I didn’t know how to eat. I really desperately want to look sick-skinny but I know it will wreck my life in the future. When I binge, I just eat & eat and can’t physically stop. I’m so scared.

Could you create a meal plan to try and follow and help you? Message me I could try and help you? Xx