#two stories that are really appealing to me in this au:

[summerhighlandfalls]

Uzushio Iruka in an AU where the village never fell

[sneverussape]

walpurgis

another one that's been in my drafts for a while. it's just a lil ficlet so don't expect much hehe

@greens-your-color prompt # 25: DEATH EATER (scenario 1)

summary: a group is taking over the Wizarding World's news by storm and severus is naturally curious

--

“Lily?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you heard of these? These Knights of Walpurgis?”

Lily turned to look at Severus only to give him a disdainful eyeroll. “What do you want to know about them for?”

“Well, who are they even?” Severus was more than a little curious, but he was also apprehensive.

“Nobody special. They’re just a bunch of people who believe in a load of malarkey.”

Severus frowned. That certainly wasn’t the description he expected. “Malarkey? Like what?”

This time, Lily granted him a heavy sigh from behind the heavy tome she was reading. “Honestly, Severus, you shouldn’t believe everything you read on the Prophet. They’re just a group acting grand. Rich tossers who have too much time on their hands.”

“But is it true though, that they have access to hidden magics and things?” Severus felt his fingers itch at the notion. He was already taking advanced lessons in both Potions and Transfiguration, with both Lucius and Andi’s support and none of McGonagall’s and Dumbledore’s knowledge, and he was eager to learn beyond what books held, although he was careful to never share the reason. The few people who mattered would figure it out soon enough, but he avoided voicing it out loud to avoid any pretenses of hope. He was convinced mixing modern medicine and magic was the key to managing or even completely curing his condition altogether. Very few wizards in the past had already done so but they were all at least a century old. He had vowed to himself that he would engage in the same practice to figure out a cure, or at the very least die in the attempt. But he wasn’t going to tell Lily that, of course.

He asked her instead, “Do they know things beyond the books and the stuff they teach us? Like deeper magics? Blood magic?”

“Who told you that?” Lily looked at him this time, a frown twisting her features.

“Lucius,” Severus said before he could even stop himself. When he saw Lily’s expression darken, he caught himself and backtracked. “Not that it means anything, he was just talking shop…keeping me interested throughout lessons. Oh, don't make that face, Lily!”

“You’re fourteen and not living in the Wizarding World, he shouldn’t be telling you that.” Lily had snapped her book shut and was already making her way out of the plush armchair she had settled in. “I’m telling Mum and Dad—”

“No—!” Severus blocked his sister before she could make her way out of their father’s study. This conversation certainly wasn’t going the way he wanted. He had thought it was a simple enough question. “You don’t have to tell them, Lils, c’mon, I was just curious…”

Lily had grown an odd shade of red, as though she was angry. But why? Severus didn’t understand.

“The Knights of Walpurgis,” she spat the name as though it left a bad taste on her tongue, and her voice had dropped down to a hiss, “is a dangerous group, Severus, and you shouldn’t discuss them so casually.”

This time, it was Severus’ turn to frown. He could feel his dreams crumbling to dust before his very eyes. “I thought you said they were just a bunch of tossers. Why are you making it sound like they’re more than that?”

Lily shook her head vehemently. “Forget I said it. Don’t talk about them, Sev. I mean it. Lucius should not be talking about them to you.”

“Why shouldn’t he?” Defiance surged within him; Severus had never really liked being told what to do, especially by his sisters. It just wasn’t in his nature. “He’s my tutor, it’s his job to tell me things.”

“Not about this he isn’t! You wouldn’t understand…”

He caught her insinuation immediately and felt his face grow hot. “Because I’m not at Hogwarts, you mean? Or in the Wizarding World? I’m as much a wizard as any of you lot!”

Lily looked as though she had been struck. Her eyes widened comically wide. “That’s not what I meant!” she said, although her expression said otherwise. Lily had always been a terrible liar.

“That’s what you wanted to say,” Severus said, unable to control the bitterness in his tone. “Out with it then, Lils. You probably don’t even see me as one of you, because I don’t go to school in a magical castle and learn amongst giants and goblins and pixies. I probably don't even hold a wand right in your eyes.”

This time, tears welled in Lily’s eyes, crystal against vibrant green. “That’s not true, stop it, Severus! I have never thought that, and I never will!”

His chest had grown tight and Severus felt like crying himself. He knew Lily wasn’t trying to be mean, but somehow he also couldn’t help but feel the stab of self-pity that came at his own accusation. If his own sister thought he was beneath knowing something that was apparently commonplace news in the Wizarding World, what did the other kids think? Did they think he was some sort of…some sort of second-rate freak? Did Lily?

Severus tilted his chin up as he sniffed. He looked down at Lily with what he hoped was an imperious glare as he said, “Forget I asked. I shan’t bother you about it again.”

He stood and turned to stomp out of the room, tuning out Lily calling out to him. He shouldn’t have asked her. He shouldn’t have asked any of them. He should have just asked Lucius. Lucius would know. Lucius always answered his questions. Lucius wouldn’t think he was a freak.

As he walked away, Severus unconsciously scrubbed at the tears that were gathering at the corners of his eyes with his sleeve.

[gallusrostromegalus]

I did not care at all for Aizen Sosuke when I first read bleach. I found him boring, and worst, unthreatening.

So it's pretty jarring for me that I have been OBSESSED with him in your AU. I'm rotating him at great speed

Walt Disney was a jackass who was flat-out wrong about a lot of very important things, but he employed a great many geniuses of storytelling, and there's a piece in Disney Animation: The Illusion of Life by Frank Thomas and Ollie Johnson that discusses a key feature of Disney Studios Character Design:

"Of all characters, villains are the most fun to develop because they make everything else happen. They are the instigators, and always more colorful than the Hero. They may be dramatic, awesome, insidious or semi-comic, but they MUST be appealing. Almost any story becomes innocuous if all the evil is eliminated, but we do not necessarily gain strength by being frightening. we want a character that will hold the audience and entertain them, even if it's a Chilling Type of Entertainment."

And I've found that to be an important principle of character design, especially the kind of canon restructuring I do.

Aizen had a LOT going for him in canon- for all of Bleach's other faults, Aizen's conspiracy and THE REVEAL are spectacularly constructed and executed. I legit screamed and threw my mug across my dorm room when I read it in the manga the first time. He's also conventionally attractive and the translations I was reading gave him the speech patterns of Every Douchebag In Your 101 Political Theory Who Thinks He's The Smartest Man In The Room, which made him a terrific combination of Unfortunately Charming, Menacingly Competent and Engagingly Obnoxious.

...But he falls flat in a few key places.

Aizen's reasoning could be MUCH more sympathetic- After all, he is RIGHT. Soul Sciety does suck ass and all the options kind of suck. Who designs a universe like that? An asshole who needs killing, that's who. The best kind of Unhinged Madmen are the kind who spell out their reasoning and you realize that there but for the grace of Not Having Super Powers Go I. Canon!Aizen makes a few Good Rhetorical Points, but seems to lack any personal connection to his all-consuming plan.

Another issue is that nearly every villain with A Plan has a clear end goal AND a lot of the menace is drawn from the fact that the plan *could* work. Aizen's plan for betraying the court guard and then killing them off before proceeding into the Royal Realm to Kill God sorta falls apart when it's clear he planned to use pretty much all his accumulated forces dealing with the court guard and doesn't seem to have a plan for the Even More Powerful Royal Guard, let alone God. For how meticulously planned the rest of the plot is, the last two VERY IMPORTANT steps are just handwaved.

So I sat down and started with the plot beats Aizen MUST hit, and tried to imagine what kind of guy would he have to be to get there? And I came up with this:

Sosuke Aizen is a fundamentally good man with genuinely good intentions who is really trying his best for the whole world.

Think about it- what lengths would you NOT go to if you think you found a genuine shot at Fixing Everything Wrong With The World Forever? We all talk about killing Hitler if we found an actual Time Machine- would you do it if your only chance was when he was a baby? Would you kill an infant if it meant you could stop World War II before it starts? Of course you would! One small life for over 75 million? You'd be insane not to! What if you found out that you could prevent the future extinction of Humanity by killing your best friend today? Ten Billion lives? For theirs? It's simple, really- Hell, it's your Moral Obligation to do that if you were SURE!

-And Aizen IS sure. He is absolutely, totally, completely sure that He Can Save Everyone if he just gets rid of that idiot sitting on the throne of heaven. He's seen the plans! He knows where the gate of heaven is! It's So SIMPLE he just has to get inside, and he knows EXACTLY how to do it, yes it'll be hard and there will be... unpleasant parts but. IT. WILL. WORK.

He is of course, insane.

Aizen didn't have One Bad Day that set him irrevocably on the path of madness. It was a succession of catastrophic disappointments and realizations that he was living in a fundamentally irrational world that made irrational thinking look sane. The Catastrophe that befell his family, working for the central 46 and later the court guard and seeing how the organizations were inept to the point of abuse or corrupt to the core, learning that The Actual House Of God is a place he can just? Go to? Anyone would start thinking you were just a handful of white lies and homicides away from Fixing Everything, Forever.

Not only is Aizen insane, he is nowhere near as smart as he thinks. He is smart- He does have a knack for being able to guess just what will spur someone to action or make them recoil in fear. But mostly he gets extremely lucky Many, Many, MANY times. On some level I think it gives him Confirmation Bias that this is what he's supposed to be doing. Aizen is also nowhere near as smart as (nearly) everyone else thinks he is. His bizarrely good luck makes him look like a hyper-competent genius when really it was really the catastrophic failure of Soul Society as a Society that let a merely mediocre conspirator to evade detection for so long.

Being that he is at most, mediocre, he had to have Outside Help, specifically Gin's emotional support and Tousen's Competence- and if there's a part of the fic that stays true to canon, it's this.

Gin is Aizen's emotional rock in Canon. He's the ONE guy that Aizen genuinely trusts, and considers his 'my only real partner' in his scheme. There's more than one occasion in the manga where Aizen more or less asks Gin "Is this actually a good idea?" and Gin backs him up every time.

...Which is more than a bit at odds with Gin's later stated goal of "I did all this to kill you at your most vulnerable to protect rangiku" . It never rang true to me. So I started thinking why on EARTH Gin would be backing Aizen up like that, and realized there was a hole in my world building that he slotted into nicely :)

On the other hand, the entire fic was started because I didn't like how Tousen's character arc ended, so you can imagine how much he's changed.

But in canon, TOUSEN DOES ALL THE FUCKING WORK.

Lab work? Tousen.

Supervising the arrancar directly? Tousen

Actually getting victims for the Hogyoku experiments? Tousen.

Altering all the archives to keep Aizen's plot hidden? Tousen.

Sending all the Orders allegedly from the central 46? Tousen.

Making sure Unohana believes Aizen's fake body is real? Tousen.

Managing all the day-to-day operations at Las Noches? Tousen.

There's even this little exchange, which is Tousen's first appearance in the Manga:

Aizen establishes this entire meeting is a little fake-out a few pages later with "now isn't that a convenieint time for the alarm to go off?"

which makes him look like he's investigating, but he's also going "Good job on disrupting everyone with the alarm Gin!" It's ballsy of Aizen to do a check-in on his plan with his main nemesis in the room, but also his style.

I think the same thing is happening here with Tousen. To make sure Ukitake wouldn't raise a huge fit about the proposed execution of his beloved lieutenant, which might fuck everything up for Aizen because Ukitake is one of like, three people Yamamoto will listen to (sort of).

...So he had Tousen poison Ukitake to keep him out of the way.

ALL. THE. FUCKING. WORK. It's even in his name! The characters for "Tousen" Refer to a legendary scholar the emperor of China sent out to discover the secret of immortality- only to kill the scholar when he returned with that secret. The character for "Kaname" means "Necessary/Vital/keystone" or "to organize/take account of". His name LITERALLY means "Scholar who is essential for the plan (that we're going to kill later)"

Another thing Kubo did well in Bleach: his name game is Off The Fucking Charts.

-but I digress.

In AEIWAM, it's much the same only this time Aizen sees this very dangerous witness who is immune to his illusions but also extremely snart and capable young man and instead of risking being caught out by the one damn guy who can see right through him, opts to Curse Kaname into doing as Aizen says, and doing all the fucking work of this conspiracy against his will.

It's Not Nice, but Aizen genuinely thinks he's doing Kaname a favor by subjecting him to this degrading and incredibly painful servitude- I mean, Aizen's only other option was to Kill him to keep his silence, and isn't it wonderful that you get to help fix the universe? You're the one always going on about Justice, I don't understand why you didn't jump at the chance to mete out some Divine Justice.

An Excerpt from the captain's meeting in between the Massacre that made the visored and Zaraki's arrival, when Kaname realizes Yamamoto is 100% serious about his promotion to captain of the 9th and goes to throw up in the garden. Aizen offers to go check on him while Unohana very politely reads the general the riot act:

---

"You broke your toy Aizen." Kaname coughs.

"…I really am sorry for running you ragged like this. I really shouldn't have gotten so mad about you hiding the the hogyoku- it was very petty of me." The bastard sighs, taking off his glasses and rubbing his face, entirely genuine.

Kaname stayed on his hands and knees, weaving slightly as another wave of nausea flowed through him, powered by disgust and rage.

"How about this- I've got a lot coming up with the new job, training Gin and disposing of Kiganjo- So how about I promise to not give you any orders for a while? You will have to keep our arrangement a secret and not interfere, of course, but other than that, you're free to do as you please for- a year and a day is traditional isn't it? No, that's not going to heal by then- Oh, would you look at that!"

Kaname didn't have the strength to offer his usual rebuttal that he won't look at anything, ever. The sides of his head tingle like his skul was being pressed between two enormous hands made of static electricity.

"It's 11:11! Alright, I won't give you any Orders until 11:11 am on November 11th, 1911. That's easy to remember! What do you think?" Aizen continued cheerfully, patting his back and the Curse nails.

"…I can't." Kaname groaned. He could scream if he had the energy, but due to Aizen's Illusions, nobody would hear him. "I actually physically can't think. Please…"

"Of course! You really are such a help to me, it would be a shame to lose you. I'll even amend our contract, so you don't get paranoid-" There was a sizzling sound and a new stroke of hot pain up Kaname's spine as Aizen did something to the wretched Bakudo. "There. No compulsions for eleven years and a day. What do you say?"

Kaname grimaced, but dropped his head. Save the energy to fight another day. "…thank you, Aizen-sama."

"Good man! Let's get you on your feet." Aizen beamed, putting his glasses back on and offering him an arm.

---

He genuinely thinks that he's doing everyone a huge favor and if they don't get it it's because they're just not smart enough, but it's alright, He's a Benevolent God and they'll appreciate all his hard work the next time around :)

Aizen is a man who is FULL of joy. He loves what he does! He actively takes pleasure in it! And I think that's something that REALLY delivers in terms of sympathy AND horror for him. Who *Wouldn't* have a great time actually fixing the universe? He's a good man who enjoys doing good works, and this is the greatest work of all!

It also Delivers on the Horror when I get to write the deliciously fun scenes where Aizen is Elbows-deep in a novel War Crime and waxing poetic about how GREAT this is, or being confused why the people around him are reacting with fear. Don't you want to make everything better too?

[bunny-jpeg]

hi bunny! May I request a swiss roll, honey cruller and creme caramel with a side of frozen latte for danny ric? Sorry it’s a little long🫶🏼

bakery menu

welcome to the bakery! i hope you have a good time here! feel free to submit your own orders! i love receiving them and have been working hard to get through all of them! enjoy! for this anon, thank you for the danny prompt! i've sort of fallen in love with him so, these are fun! thank you!

swiss roll ("everything you own, everything you wear i paid for. so i guess that means i own you.") + honey cruller ("i forget how small you are sometimes.") + creme caramel ("oh. you thought you were getting away from me?") + frozen latte (dumbification) served by daniel ricciardo (formula one)!!

cw: smut/pwp, dumification, slight sugar daddy au, size kink, power dynamic, dom/sub

daniel liked his hands on your hips. he remembered the first time he ever placed them on you. the slight softness on the skin was appealing as you looked over your shoulder. daniel knew right then and there that he had to have you.

you were a simple university student, and being man-handled by a formula one driver was shocking. you knew you were taking long in the produce aisle but, there was no need for that.

"i'm so sorry. i don't know what happened there.. let me make it up to you!" which came in the form of paying for your entire grocery order for the week. which included some more expensive cuts of meat. when daniel heard of your poor sob story, he offered to pay. and in exchange you could accompany him to events. he said, "not to be vain, but you have a face the cameras would love!"

that was how you met daniel ricciardo, and that how you became the most special girl in his life. it was summer break for you, which meant you were staying at daniel's home. which meant barely any clothes and the constant ache in your lower back.

he had his arms wrapped around you as he held you close to his chest. you were cutting peppers for dinner and occasionally his lips would graze your neck, "i forget how small you are sometimes. if i tried really hard i could crack you in half." he chuckled.

you squirmed a little bit and put the knife down, "i'm not that small." and you turned to look at him in the eyes.

he looked at you, "look small to me. i know you're small because i can barely fit in your pussy." he chuckled before he took you in for a kiss. you'd only fall for his seduction tactics after your meal together. he tried to lay it on thick as he fed you pieces of his own food for you to indulge in. it was painfully cute and you couldn't help yourself.

"you're mine." he said as got you onto the bed, you looked up at him. he held you by the chin. you looked perfect, so innocent and small. he liked when you looked small. even if you weren't model thing, there was still a size difference between you two.

and he liked when you looked like someone who needed someone so much bigger and stronger to protect you. you brought softness into the world, and daniel needed to protect that innocence. even if that meant keeping his cock in your pretty throat. he said, "everything you own, everything you wear i paid for. so i guess that means i own you." he did pay for everything. you were lucky to not have to think about price tags for some time now.

you nodded cutely, "yes, sir." before he patted you on your soft cheek. you started to undress from the sundress that he picked out for you that morning. even going as far to zip up the back for you. now he was slowly taking it off you.

"see, this is why you're perfect. always use your manners." he said as he got the dress off of you, which was then followed by your socks, bra and panties. everything ended up on the floor for later.

then you watched your handsome sugar daddy take off his clothes. you saw the shape of his body and it made you feel warm and fuzzy. made you core throb with a want for him.

once he was naked, you tried to get further up to bed to give him room. but he grabbed and pulled you down to the foot of the bed once more, "oh. you thought you were getting away from me?" he loomed over top of you with your legs hanging off the edge of the bed. you looked at him and felt hot all over.

you were naked and daniel took your legs. he propped them over his shoulders and rubbed his hard cock against your achy slit. he looked down at you and you leaned into his touch when he carefully caressed your cheek.

"so small."

"not that small." you giggled in response as you felt yourself closer to him. when he slipped his cock inside of you. you arched your back a little and felt a leap in your chest. you held onto the soft covers and let him get himself inside of you.

"not small, huh?" he said, "I can barely fit in you, baby girl." he chuckled as he moved against you. you felt amazing under him, even though there was a little too much distance for his liking. he took you by the hips and continued to move against you.

you felt heat in your cheeks as he moved against you. you laid out on the bed for him and held on for dear life as he basically folded you in half and pushed his cock as deep as it could go inside of you. his length battering your poor slit as he remained hunched over you.

"you look so good, angel." he said softly, "you're beautiful. all laid out for me like a good girl. you know exactly how to get me going. shit, that's it baby girl." he continued to move against you. he could feel the heat down his neck as he thrusted up against you.

he knew you were well behaved but, still, it felt nice to say it out loud. praise his baby girl. he leaned into your further and pressed a kiss against your lips. you moaned against the kiss and wrapped your arms around him.

you wished you could grab a hold of him closer and press him against you onto the bed. but, it would end in disaster more than anything. your kisses continued and you moaned into them.

you were pressed between the bed and your lover. he said when he pulled away, "someone is enjoying this, huh? you enjoy when i fuck you like the good girl you are." he could feel his racing heartbeat as he moved against you.

he continued to fuck you and you moaned a little louder with each thrust. he eyed you with heat in his gaze. you looked amazing, you were truly beautiful under him.

you felt dumber with every thrust of his hips. the angle he had you in had you pinned and eventually your cheek touched the covers and you panted heavily like a bitch in heat. letting your love fuck your exhausted body. when you came, your expression shifted and you held onto the covers for a moment.

daniel eyed you as he continued to move against you. his cock buried deep inside of you. you panted heavily as he moved up against you. he pressed further into you as he gave it a few more thrusts of his hips before he finished inside of you. a move that made you squeak, but your lips couldn't form words. you felt so dumb in the brain at that moment.

"oh... poor baby. someone feels a little too good right now."

he dropped your legs carefully back over the edge of the bed and he slipped out of your pussy. then helped you further up the bed. you clung to him like a little koala. and daniel was more than happy to hold you once he got into bed with you. your naked bodies curled together.

daniel kissed you on the face, "how do you feel? tap twice is you feel good." but no words were getting through your head. instead you gave him a shaky thumbs up before you buried your face into his hairy chest.

he just laughed then kissed you on the top of the head. he'd get you whatever you needed when you could communicate with him once more. for now he'd just hold his baby girl. you felt soft in his arms and he loved it. <3

[jnnul]

ric flair drip

a/n: oh my god. it's finished. i've finally written all of her. i genuinely don't know how to explain the relief i feel right now. it feels strange writing this after writing and healing myself through writing this. i hope that anyone in college who's feeling the way y/n or jaehyun did knows that you can and will grow from it. heartbreak is inevitable and so is growth. quick note: feedback, comments, etc. GREATLY encourage writers! if you felt any sort of way (in a good or bad way!) about this fic, pls leave feedback!

word count: 20k

tags: college au!, frat boy!jaehyun x girlboss!y/n, honestly it just a dissertation about modern love and how people nowadays love each other, there's a lot of soul searching in this one, i poured my heart and soul into this please love her the way i do warnings: mentions of sex, underage drinking, and general college shenanigans! also explicit mentions of oral sex, uhhh foreplay and sex

HONESTLY, NOTHING ABOUT JUNG JAEHYUN IS REMOTELY APPEALING TO YOU. you hate the perfect boy act he puts on, you hate his need to impress everyone and everything, and you really fucking hated his dick.

because if it wasn't for his dick, which you were sure is just as perfect as the rest of his stupid self, you wouldn't be awake at inhumane hours, listening to your friend recount their sexcapades.

"oh my god, and then he did this thing with his tongue and i swear, i'm literally never going to be able to have oral again. he's fucking ruined me. i'm genuinely going to just make every guy i fuck put a jaehyun mask on from now onwards just to recreate it," sia yoo, unfortunately one of your best friends, quips dreamily. she yelps when roseanne park, your roommate and singular other voice of reason, throws a pillow at her.

"you sound like a fucking psycho. as in needs to be checked to a mental facility psycho. as in if i hadn't heard worse when you got with johnny suh, i'd be calling the cops right now psycho," roseanne says and easily ducks when sia winds up to throw the pillow back at her. fatima khan, sia's roommate and mother friend extraordinaire, pouts sympathetically with sia as the two of them turn to you as if you would fall on their side.

"sia, baby, honey, love and light of my life - i'm really sorry but i'm with rosie on this one," you say and sia puts on the most theatrical frown you she possibly could before she cocks her head curiously.

"rosie's got a reason for judging jaehyun since she doesn't even like men all that much. what's your excuse, y/n? you like men, judging by the way you were getting railed to next week by that freshie park seonghwa. you've never gotten dicked down by jaehyun."

you're half-tempted so tell sia that it's not fucking weird that you got with seonghwa, considering the fact that you're only a sophomore yourself but you're even more tempted to remind her that even though you were no stranger to a good time, you never recount your stories.

in fact, the only reason why the other three (well, you suppose rosie would know regardless given that you literally live with her) know about your sex life is because you choose to tell them whenever you felt like it. and usually, it was more than three days after the encounter.

you loved your friends, you really did - and sia was notorious for getting into one night stand rehash sessions at ungodly hours, so this was nothing new - but for some reason, every time jaehyun's name came up in the conversation, your skin would prickle with irritation.

maybe it was the fact that every single person around you seemed to be infatuated with him. or the fact that he was just so effortlessly good at capturing the attention of everyone in the room, no matter where he was.

or maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that you knew that if you looked too closely into the deep end, you'd fall right in with no life jacket. and jaehyun was an endless ocean.

+++

maybe you had given jaehyun too much credit, you lament. maybe jung jaehyun's as deep as a fucking kiddie pool. you know you're wrong because you were in the same english literature class and the man had been published because the professor liked his prose so much, she had submitted it to a literary journal.

and they had accepted it.

but as you stare at him across the lecture hall, burning holes into the poor guy's skull, you sure think he's stupid. because there was no way in fresh hell that jung jaehyun was in an introduction to east asia class. as a south korean.

people begin settling into their seats as you mull over the possibility that jaehyun had fucked so much, his brain had fallen out through his dick. from the stories of his more than above average size, it was definitely not out of the realm of possibility.

just as you're send a very judgmental text to fatima, who was supposed to be taking the class with you but had had to switch last minute when one of her major required classes opened up, jaehyun gets out of his seat to stand at the front of the room, next to the professor.

you realize belatedly that the people jaehyun had been so animatedly speaking to were none other than bambam and ten - two people who most definitely were in this class. and of course, they had chosen this class over all the others because oh my god, jung jaehyun is the uta for this class.

in hindsight, it makes sense, given that jaehyun is a east asian studies minor and a stellar fucking student. but it doesn't make the text you were about to send fatima any less humiliating as you realize your attempts to undermine his character were desperately failing. you try to backtrack on your phone, deleting the winding paragraph you were about to send her when your thumb slips, accidentally sending a half written message.

you: jaehyun is fucking

you're sure the statement will be true within the next couple hours (the jung bed at the nct frat never seemed to stay empty for too long - and that was just from orientation week last week) but it felt almost blasphemous that you would send a text so crude to your friend when you insisted that you couldn't stand his guts.

or what lay between them, really.

three gray dots appear on your screen as you half-heartedly listen to your professor drone on about how he went to china, became a changed man, and now taught about the wonders of east asia and its exoticism. his name was paul but the class could refer to him by his 'enlightened name' - lao ma. even jaehyun rolls his eyes behind the professor's back as all of the asian kids in the classroom begin to eye each other warily.

if this class wasn't so easy, you're sure the population would've shrunk to a quarter its size based on the weirdness of the professor on its own. or maybe not, if it meant that people got to stare at jaehyun's gorgeous face for an hour and a half every monday morning.

mommy tima 🤍: honey, i think whatever sia's got going is contagious. mommy tima 🤍: aren't you the one who hates him? mommy tima 🤍: he really lives in your mind rent free, huh.

you scoff under your breath as you type furiously, vaguely registering that you definitely need to check the syllabus for this class later because you have not been listening to a word the professor has said this whole time.

you: first sia's got cooties or a raging std that's what she's got going you: second he's my fucking uta you: as in i am going to be forced to see his face for an entire semester mommy tima 🤍: drop the class then, babe. you: can't this is too good for my gpa & the prof's a freak you: it's a gpa cushion and a circus in one go

you tuck your phone away when you see that jaehyun is coming up the aisle on your side with a packet while the professor is on the other aisle on the other side with the same packet to hand out. jaehyun probably wouldn't care that you had your phone out during lecture (syllabus week was just an excuse for college kids to get drunk during school days anyway) but it was the principle of the thing.

"here you go - oh, it's stuck together," jaehyun says as he stops at where you're sitting. his tongue slips out as he thumbs at the packet to give you one instead of three and suddenly, your treacherous brain takes you back to sia's rambling the night before.

and then he did this thing with his tongue...

you're shaken back to reality when you realize that you're staring at a blank wall, with a pink packet in front of you, and jaehyun has already reached the back of the classroom.

fuck. shit. bitch.

jaehyun had seen you stare at his stupidly handsome face and then some. he was your ta. oh my god, what if he docked points on some test because he thought you were the creepy stalker type.

damn you, sia yoo, you curse in your head.

+++

"damn you, sia yoo!" you yell over the blaring music that's so loud, you can feel the vibrations in your skull. there absolutely no reason you should be caught dead in a frat on the friday of syllabus week but sia had made it her mission to make sure you had a going out rate of at least 80% this school year, given that you were prone to trying to skip out on weekends out last year.

not that you didn't like going out - you actually really liked going out with your friends. you just took a little more inertia to get to the energy levels of actually going on.

sia just nods at you lazily as she bounces to the beat of another shitty remix of 'what you came for' by calvin harris and rihanna. you never understood why frats always found the worst remixes of classic party bangers but anything flew after you had enough alcohol in your system so the music would recede to the depths of your mind in a couple cups of whatever the fuck this drink was.

especially since you were a full sunshine drunk; whenever you were drunk, you became the life of the party and would always be found in the center of the room, regardless of the music. sia was a flirty drunk and you really couldn't remember the last time sia actually spent the entire weekend in her own bed. props to her stamina, honestly.

rosie was a mix of you and sia in that she would become so much more bubbly but the second she found someone she wanted to spend the night with, she went after them with no hesitation.

fatima usually played the role of sober mommy when you all went out. although she was never one to miss out on a good time, when she did get drunk, she much preferred it to be within the confines of the four walls that she shared with her roommate and the people she trusted the most - you, rosie, and sia.

which is why when rosie abandons you for her on again, off again fuck buddy (miyeon cho) and her fuck buddy (yugyeom kim), you're not surprised at all.

"that's going to be an interesting story in the morning," you say, nodding to where rosie, miyeon, and yugyeom are all heading upstairs together. fatima nudges you to look at sia, where she's pressed up against none other than johnny suh (or the love of her life, prior to jaehyun, apparently).

"that's going to be an interesting story in the afternoon," fatima counters. you turn to her with furrowed eyebrows, as if to question the timing. "i don't think i've ever heard of a girl leaving johnny's bed before 3 o'clock the next afternoon."

your jaw hangs in shock as you watch your friend wrap her arms around the tall man's neck, whispering something into his ear when he bends down to kiss her collarbone.

"are all of the nct boys secretly porn stars or something? how can they all be that good in bed?" you gape, waving at sia when she turns around to wink at you and fatima as her and johnny are bustling out of the door, undoubtedly to the nct frat house.

"they test us as part of rushing," says a low, velvety voice behind you. a hot rush of shame runs up your spine for two reasons: a) you were able to recognize jung jaehyun just from his voice and b) he heard you gossiping about his frat brothers' sexual prowess.

you exchange a look with fatima before whipping around to meet jaehyun eye to eye. he's wearing a plain black t-shirt and lightwash distressed jeans but he might as well be wearing designer trash bags for all you care. what you do care about, unfortunately, is the almost slutty way his v-neck dips to show off the beginnings of the planes of his chest.

you feel no better than a victorian man and it takes fatima a poorly concealed cough to break you out of your thoughts. fuck, you'd done it again. you really needed to stop getting caught up in jung jaehyun's pretty face. and body. and that stupid smile.

"haha. very funny. sounds like something straight out of a cheesy porno sponsored by viagra or something," you say, rolling your eyes. smooth. very smooth. normally, you like to think that you're proficient in the witty banter department but something about this boy made you almost feel dumb about your comebacks.

jaehyun cocks an eyebrow, and you're distinctly made aware that even with platform sneakers on, jaehyun is a good head taller than you when you have to look upwards to notice the motion. "you seem to be well versed, y/n. you make it a habit to stay up to date?"

you flush at the thinly veiled euphemism at your x-rated movie watching habits before clearing your throat. "i'm more of a fan of practical study, really. i am a scientist, after all."

you're aware that fatima has slipped away from you to talk to another friend, park jeonghwa, and also the fact that you are slowly beginning your descent into drunkenness but you can't seem to bring yourself to find the caution in it all. it's just jaehyun, after all.

jaehyun hums, bringing the solo cup in his hand to his lips to take a swig. "you're a biomedical engineering major, aren't you?"

you balk at that. "wait, wait. you know my name and my major?"

jaehyun nods slowly, seemingly stumbling for a moment before he gains his self-confidence once more. "you don't know mine?"

"you're literally my ta. i know you're an east asian studies minor and your name because you told the class," you say, recovering quickly. it was a really good thing you were a quick thinker because you were lying through your teeth.

you knew jaehyun's name, minor, and even major (computer science) because of his notorious reputation, not because he was your ta. but the last thing you wanted was to give him the satisfaction of asserting his popularity on campus.

"anyway. what was that you were saying about 'practical study'?" jaehyun's eyes twinkle in the dim lighting of the cramped basement you were in and you had a feeling that if you were any more inebriated, you'd be diving headfirst into jung jaehyun's bed as long as he looked at you like that.

but fortunately (unfortunately?) you're sober enough to make mostly intelligent decisions - which just means that you're not going to jump headfirst. maybe feet first but not headfirst.

"wouldn't you like to know," you sing-song, leaning into jaehyun's body enough to smell the mix of woody pine, fresh water, and vodka that seems to emanate from him. jaehyun watches you as you lean over him to grab another solo cup from the assortment that some lower ranked frat brother had been forced into bartending.

you down the entire drink in two swigs, patting away the stray stream of alcohol that had dripped down onto your chest. you don't notice the way jaehyun's eyes follow your hand down its descent to your chest. but you finally feel like your element, and in a moment of sheer idiocy and liquid courage, you enter the growing throng of bodies behind you, beckoning jaehyun to follow you.

you're not 100% sure what you want from him, honestly. you want to have a good time, and you're sure you'll have one with or without him. but something about the way jaehyun follows you like a puppy into the mess of people makes you feel like a zap of electricity has hit your body.

and if you're being completely honest with yourself (as you usually only are with ethanol in your system), you really didn't hate jaehyun. you had no qualms with him as a person, even if you hated the consequences that came with a night with him.

it's when you're in the middle of the crowd, with jaehyun looking at you with those hooded eyes and hands tucked into his pockets when you realize what you want from jaehyun jung.

you want him to desire you the way that his mere presence makes people desire him.

so you do what you do best and just let go. it's ric flair drip by metro boomin that's playing - a song that's definitely not the one to get down to. but the bass fills you up in a way that never hits the same outside of a sweaty frat basement so you can't even bring yourself to care.

"i'm tryna fuck you and your bestie," you sing along with the near hundred people surrounding you. jaehyun is still looking at you with an eyebrow sitting higher and an appraising expression; something that somehow manages to get under your skin.

in a moment of passion, you manage to hook your fingers into one of jaehyun's belt loops, pulling him closer to you. you're aware that you've painted yourself to be jaehyun's next conquest if the way that the girls next to you look upset means anything, but you couldn't care less.

especially when you're this close to the bane of your existence. the song switches to something a little more what you need (under the influence by chris brown) and you look up at jaehyun through your lashes and in that moment, jaehyun knows what you're offering him through your gaze.

a challenge.

+++

jaehyun never really meant to take on the role of nct's resident whore. in fact, jaehyun had been planning on doing the exact opposite when he came to college.

although it was unbelievable now, jaehyun jung had originally just been a very strange, nerdy, and sweet boy. he never got up to much trouble, kept to himself most of the time, and was known for...nothing, really. he was sweet and bubbly but he wasn't exactly running with the popular crowd.

in fact, jaehyun was kinda forgotten all throughout his schooling. it was easy to forget about jaehyun, as though he were some visage in a dream that everyone shared.

it hurt.

so when jaehyun finally hit his growth spurt in senior year, started going to the gym, and his voice no longer cracked every other sentence, he felt like a whole new person. like he was finally the main character in his own life.

it felt so fucking good to look at the same girls who had smiled at him pitifully and have them melting under a single wink. the summer between high school and college had been wild, with more stories than jaehyun could really even care to keep track of.

but when college began, jaehyun was fully intending to return to flying under the radar with his new upgrade in personality, appearance, and wardrobe. with a face like his, however, doing so was about as easy as trying to pass professor yoon's intro to bio class - nearly impossible.

slowly but surely, jaehyun morphed back into the personality he had adopted that summer and surprisingly, it wasn't as foreign as he thought. he was still a good student and wasn't a stranger to having to skip out on hanging out with his friends to study.

but having a new girl in his bed every other day? that was definitely new. a new revelation, but a welcome one nonetheless.

and in that, jaehyun was used to people using all sorts of tactics to get with him. playing hard to get, with coy smiles and flirtatious winks. or the bold ones, who told him straight up that they wanted to spend the night with him. even the downright horrifying ones who tried to pretend like they were blackout drunk in hopes that that would 'attract' him. spoiler alert? it didn't.

jaehyun originally thought you were of the 'hard to get' caliber. the type of girl to say that she wasn't like other girls and that's why he should get with her instead. so initially, when he approached you at the party after seeing you in his class, he was mentally preparing himself for the whole pick me speech.

but it was something about the way you looked at him.

it was like two halves of your mind were battling against each other. on one hand, you looked like you wanted to fax jaehyun straight into the fiery pits of hell with high speed shipping. on the other, it also seemed like you wanted nothing more than to ride him until the sun came up. mixed with a little bit of curiosity, confusion, and downright anger with yourself for all the emotions, you looked like the perfect cocktail of firebrand that jaehyun couldn't help but become intrigued by.

so when you were laughingly talking to your best friend (jaehyun's frat brother kun was half in love with fatima, which meant that jaehyun was more than well acquainted with her) about him and frat brothers, he took it to be the opportunity he needed.

and when you're looking at him like this, daring him to make a move, almost as if to make your mind fall one way or another about drawing a conclusion on him, what is jaehyun to do but to make good on the challenge you've offered?

he watches you for a moment more, trying to commit the memory of what you look like when you're this carefree and happy, before taking the micro-step it takes to get so close he can smell the citrus and apple cider that you seem to always smell like.

"i promise you i can fuck you better than johnny," jaehyun says, a corner of his lips tilted up as your eyes flutter the closer he draws.

"johnny's your 'bestie'?" you say, and jaehyun can tell that the last threads of your resolve are starting to snap by the way that your hand is now pressed against his chest.

"that's what you're curious about right now? the dynamics of the nct frat brothers?" jaehyun asks but he knows that this back and forth is exactly you need right now; the time to decide if you can take the plunge. or if jaehyun's worth your time tonight.

"as i mentioned, i'm a scientist," you say, and even as your voice stays stable, your fingers seem to leave burning trails against jaehyun's skin as they dip and feed into crevices of jaehyun's body that he didn't even know existed.

"hmm," jaehyun manages to eke out when your fingers lace into his hair. he's not sure how you manage to find every single sensitive spot he has but he's fairly impressed by the way you catch his breath hitching as you work your other hand up as well.

"hmm? cat got your tongue, jaehyun?" you say, making sure that jaehyun looks straight into your eyes as you lean impossibly closer. "you know that sia's with johnny right now, right? girls talk - especially with your best friends. which means that if you can't make good on your promise, i will find out."

jaehyun feels like he's sweating like a pig but thankfully, you don't notice, too busy making him sweat. he clears his throat once, and then twice to make sure that his voice doesn't give out.

"that right?" he says, and you roll your eyes, letting go of him and stepping back. you seem to appraise him for a moment (and jaehyun is unnaturally nervous about what you will decide) before grabbing his hand and leading him to the door. you only pause to flag down fatima, who takes one look at your intertwined hands, and waves the two of you away.

jaehyun blushes like a schoolgirl at the way fatima flashes him a catty smile.

"i swear to god, jaehyun, if you're all talk and no game - or if you're gonna sit still and look pretty the whole time - i will literally blue ball you. i don't do pillow princes," you throw over your shoulder as the two of you make your way to the nct frat. jaehyun knows for a fact that the nct frat will not be a quiet place tonight by the number of dresses and pants he sees in the foyer and leading the way up the stairs.

he says nothing, even as you're quite nearly storming up the stairs with a certain level of urgency, almost as though if you were to slow down and think about just exactly what you're doing, you'd turn around and leave right now.

jaehyun definitely can't let that happen.

so the second that he gets you into his bedroom (he had to rock, paper, scissors with doyoung to get the room tonight), he shuts the door and locks it behind him. he turns around to see you looking between the two beds, as if trying to guess which one was jaehyun's.

he mentally pats himself on the back when he sees the fresh sheets on the bed. reaching where you stand in less than a stride, jaehyun turns you so that you're facing his bed, and you squirm to turn to meet his eyes even as his hands are on your waist.

"what is with your hands?" you ask harshly and jaehyun blinks as he looks down.

"what do you mean? they're on your waist," jaehyun says softly, and once again, he's hit with a wave of citrus and apple cider. you simper at him, grabbing his wrist and moving it incriminatingly downwards.

"what am i? a virgin? put them somewhere useful." you whisper the last part and it's as though jaehyun has just woken up.

"you know," jaehyun begins, sliding his other hand downwards to sit comfortably on the curve of your ass. "if i didn't know any better, i'd think you were trying to rile me up. i wonder..."

he doesn't finish his thought, instead pulling you close so that your hips are pressed against his. he can hear the gasp that you're desperately trying to conceal, coughing uselessly to the side. a devilish smirk grows on jaehyun's lips and for the first time in a long time, you're sure you're going to be up all night.

+++

you were, in fact, trying to rile him up. you had heard all the rumors about jaehyun and johnny, about how one night with them was like one night in heaven. hell, you'd had first hand accounts from sia yoo about exactly what it's like to be in bed with either of them - multiple times.

so when jaehyun had fronted with such a cautious attitude when he realized what you wanted, you were almost offended. if you wanted to take control and fuck a man's brains out, you could do that with anyone. why would you fight against your own mind this much to get with him?

but seonghwa park. changkyun im. even kun qian, before you discovered he was head over heels for fatima. jung jaehyun.

these were all people who put you in your place. the way you wanted to be. it just seemed as though jaehyun might've needed a little more persuasion to get there.

so yes, you were riling him up. was that such a crime?

by the way jaehyun's looking at you right now, his breath hot and heavy on your neck and his eyes dark with a feeling that you can't describe but resonates with you on a deeper, more primal level.

"you know, after you got with kun, he wouldn't shut up about it for a week," jaehyun says, pressing kisses down your neck, pausing when he reaches your breastbone. he eyes your corset top with a discerning eye before reaching behind you to pull the lace strings that were precariously holding your top for a week.

"yeah?" you ask, threading your fingers through jaehyun's thick hair as he makes quick work of your top, leaving it pooled on the floor as his lips find your chest as though he couldn't be physically parted from it.

"yeah. even after he met fatima, he said that you were the best he's ever had - that's a big reputation to live up to when you're in nct," jaehyun says, his voice breathy and deep as he walks you backwards so that the back of your knees hit the frame of his bed.

"hmm. what can i say? i know what i want and what i want is usually lots of fun," you say, letting jaehyun unzip your jeans, pulling them down and kicking them off when jaehyun moves too slowly.

"i know. god, after knowing that you and kun were going at it, i swear everyone was jerking off in their room for an hour. even winwin wanted to go for you today. you're an unpredictable woman; no one knows where and when you're going to show up to one of the parties so everyone has to take their chances when they get them," jaehyun says, tugging his shirt off and throwing it somewhere behind him carelessly.

you nearly melt when you see jaehyun's uncovered top, eyeing each and every hard ridge of his body, reaching out to touch him. his chest is almost soothingly warm as your fingers memorize each and every aspect of the planes of his chest, almost worried that they might disappear if you let go.

jaehyun looks at you amusingly as he lets your fingers dance across his body, focusing on tugging your panties off to discard them where he's sure he's going to have to search for them later on.

you pout when you see the difference in clothing but jaehyun just gently pushes you backwards so that your back is against his bed, leaving your pussy exposed in away that makes you feel absolutely mortified. you move to gain some level of privacy back but jaehyun is too fast, gripping onto your thighs incriminatingly as he raises an eyebrow.

"don't think that i'm soft just because i'm being nice to you now, pretty girl. i know you don't like to listen but don't hide from me. i will not let you have any fun if you try to hide from me," jaehyun says, his voice dropping a full octave. you suppress the shiver that runs through your body (and that simultaneously delights jaehyun) as you nod softly.

he seems satisfied by the way your body melts and rewards you for your submission by licking a wet strip up your pussy, one hand snaking up to touch your nipple while the other one keeps your thighs open.

jaehyun is slow at first, exploring each and every hidden crevice of your body but as he feels you get wetter and wetter, he can't seem to stay soft for too long. he continues to press his lips against yours but the moment you try to grind your hips against his lips, he pulls away, his tongue darting out to taste your essence on him.

you almost whine at the loss of his hot mouth on your pussy, and you're embarrassed to realize that in front of jaehyun jung, you are no better than your best friend in falling in love with the way he moves.

"you're not going to cum from my tongue, baby," jaehyun says, practically ripping the belt out from where it was caging his jeans. "especially when i know that your pussy is magic."

"you say that, jaehyun, but you're being so fucking soft. if i didn't know any better, i'd think you're in love with me," you snort, trying to catch your breath. jaehyun freezes from where his boxers are hanging so low on his hips, you can see the muscles in his pelvis tense angrily as he looks at you dangerously.

"my fucking bad for making sure you're wet enough to take me," jaehyun whispers, pulling close to you. his eyes turn even darker than usual and a small spark of excitement ignites in your chest when you realize that you've finally reached it - jaehyun's breaking point.

"sounds like you're scared, jaehyun. you know what? you know why kun was so good? because he wasn't scared. he wasn't scared to fuck me like he was trying to break the bed," you retort, and saying kun's name is when jaehyun finally snaps. he tears his boxers off as he pushes you so that you're further up on his bed.

"y/n, i'm not fucking joking around. if you want me to stop, say it now. just say the word, and i'll pretend like this never happened. because i swear to every god in existence, if you let me, i'll ruin every other man for you," jaehyun says and his knuckles turn white from how hard his clenching his fingers to keep himself from pouncing. the thought is almost cute if you weren't desperate to be fucked into next week.

"if i wanted you to stop, i wouldn't have said kun's name, would i?"

that's all it takes. no sooner do the words leave your mouth, jaehyun's on top of you, every inch of his body fighting to claim yours. he's not sure what it is about being with a bratty girl but every time a girl tries to challenge him, jaehyun can feel his excitement grow as his mind runs wild with ways to prove you wrong.

and with a girl as beautiful and sexy as you? he was going to have the time of his life.

time of his life he does.

+++

when jaehyun wakes up, he's almost happy. almost because he has bruises on his hips from how hard he had pounded into you, a litter of hickeys across his chest, and freshly washed hair from when you had enticed him into taking a shower with you.

inevitably, it led to another hour in the shower that jaehyun had spent having his soul sucked out from his dick, eating you out under the shower, and seeing you cum twice just from his tongue.

if only he had woken up with you still in his bed, jaehyun would've actually been happy.

realistically, jaehyun had no clue what he was expecting. after taking a shower, it had taken you a total of five minutes to fall asleep in his arms, wearing nothing but jaehyun's oversized t-shirt and your panties.

there was no pillowtalk, no heart to hearts, nothing. no discussions of having whatever happened last night happening again. no trying to get to know each other better.

not that you had ever been obligated to do so. if anything, jaehyun was far more obligated to do so, after practically declaring that he had wanted to get with you since last semester - which he had been completely serious about.

but with his reputation, regardless of what he had said last night, jaehyun's almost 100% sure that you would've disappeared by the morning.

he's so caught up in his thoughts that he almost misses the bright pink post-it note on his neatly folded shirt on his desk in the corner of the room.

9.5/10. if you see sia, tell her she was right about your tongue. see you in intro to east asia on monday.

jaehyun's half disappointed and half happy. disappointed because you'd never left your number or anything and happy because at least he knew that you weren't going to completely avoid him whenever you ran into each other next.

he shakes his head as he folds the post-it note and throws it in the trash can next to his desk.

jaehyun jung may not have started college with the intention of becoming the resident fuckboy but he still had a reputation to maintain. he had fucked countless women over his time at sm university and he had no intention of falling for any of them.

he was not about to get soft-hearted or soft-dicked by a girl he was with once.

even if she was really good in bed. like really really good. like good enough to make him think about the other boys she's been with and if they'd made you feel as good as he did.

fuck. her. which jaehyun had already done. which meant that he needed to move onto the next step of the day before his head exploded with all of the implications flying around in his mind about their relation to each other (nonexistent) and if you were thinking about him like he was thinking of you (you weren't).

he pads out of his room, passing doyoung on the way out, who claps him on the back and says, "you finally got with y/n?" jaehyun doesn't know how doyoung knows but it strikes him that neither of you are very subtle people and you had caused quite the scene leaving with him last night.

similar reactions are offered to him by everyone he passes. he's not really sure how many of the boys you've been with but jaehyun can feel his street cred go up by at least a decameter with the way some of these pledges are looking at him.

in fact, everyone is looking at him with a new look of respect in their eyes until he reaches the kitchen, where yoo sia and johnny are sitting, practically eye-fucking.

jaehyun was very used to seeing johnny's friends in the kitchen the next day, neither of them ready to really say goodbye each other yet but for some reason, knowing that sia was your best friend and seeing her with johnny sets jaehyun's stomach into a series of knots that he was sure he was going to have to unravel when he had his head on straight.

"she already left?" sia says, finally breaking her stare from johnny's. jaehyun shrugs, digging around the fridge to see if they had any coffee. they didn't (none that wasn't expired anyway) so he has to settle for a caprisun.

"she had somewhere to be," jaehyun says. he wants to ask sia if it's normal for you to leave that early. it can't be if sia seems surprised that you'd left before the clock struck ten. what did that mean? what does that say about jaehyun? oh god. what if you hated it. what if you hated it so much that you didn't want to spend a second longer with jaehyun.

he cringes as he locks eyes with another shiny eyed pledge (jaehyun thinks his name is jungwoo) and tries to shake his head to clear any and all thoughts of you. he was pussydrunk. that was the only explanation. he just needed to dick down someone else and then he would get over whatever little infatuation thing he had going on.

"really? hmm..." sia says finally. jaehyun turns to see her looking right at him and suddenly, he's transported back to the previous weekend, when sia had been wrapped up in his sheets.

+++

"why did you start fucking around like this?" sia had asked, her chest still heaving from their previous illicit activities as she wraps herself tighter in jaehyun's sheets. jaehyun pauses for a moment as he catches his breath, pulling on his boxers as he thinks. he throws the shirt that sia's grabbing at, still not sure how to piece together his thoughts.

or why he wants to tell sia the truth. maybe it's because no one's ever asked about it before, but jaehyun feels strangely vulnerable as sia watches as he clambers back into his bed, her expression pensive and uncharacteristically wise.

"i don't know," jaehyun says honestly, laying over the covers as he feels his face grow hotter under sia's unrelenting stare. "i think it's because i wanted to know what it felt like. to know what it felt like to be wanted for a night instead of just being in the sidelines as the guy with the potential. just the guy that people brought along as the friend of the hot guys that kept him around."

sia doesn't say anything, instead turning so that she was lying on her back. jaehyun turns to look at her, to see if he could decipher some level of understanding from her silence. really, he knows that he should feel embarrassed about confessing his insecurities to a girl that he's hooked up with two or three times but he can't bring himself to for some reason.

maybe it's because he knows that she wouldn't say anything about it to anyone. or because he knows that she's head over heels for johnny, whether she'd admit it or not. or maybe it's just because for the first time, someone had asked something about jaehyun just to get to know him as a person, rather than trying to get him in their bed.

not that he really minded that - it just made him feel like it was all a lot more transactional than he was used to. he had been a romantic once upon a time. when you grew up with the nickname of 'valentine boy', it would have been stranger if he didn't have some sense of romance.

but jaehyun's penchant for romance disappeared almost just as soon as he realized that no one else was yearning for a pure type of love like he was.

and yet, it didn't bother him as much as he thought it would. turns out that jaehyun's a very adaptable man. if he wouldn't find love in this decade, then perhaps it would be lust that he would have to settle for.

"then again," he begins, gaze darting over to where sia had slipped on his t-shirt as she tiredly begins to settle down in his bed once more. "isn't that what everyone is doing nowadays? looking for a warm body for the night, instead of a genuine connection?"

sia snorts at that, turning so that she was facing jaehyun now. "don't tell me that you're one of the boomer types. the ones who always go around peacocking about how they were born in the wrong generation and that they're one of the 'good guys'. i might actually leave right now if you are."

"no, no i'm not. well. maybe a little bit. but i don't know why that's so bad to be honest," jaehyun acquiesces finally. sia rolls her eyes, but even she goes quiet for a moment. once again, jaehyun's reminded that this is sia yoo - a girl who routinely wakes up in someone else's sheets every saturday (although it was johnny's more often than not) and as sexist as it was, someone who carried a reputation for it. even jaehyun was surprised to find that she was such a deep conversationalist.

of course, he mentally berates himself soon after but he can't help the thought. for him, sia was just the girl he would get with a couple times. a good time. the fact that that's the only role she fulfilled in his mind made him feel disgusting inside out as he waits for her response, vowing that he would work to change his mindset. or maybe just change personalities altogether. ick.

"you know one of my best friends? y/n? the one who got with kun before he decided to go clean for fatima?" sia says with a careful tone. jaehyun nods, not trusting that he wouldn't say something dumb after his sudden realization of his flawed thinking.

"this is something she always says but it's honestly pretty simple: love is however you want to define it. humans spend so much trying to find labels and definitions for things that just might not have or need them. for such an advanced species, we spend so much time concerned about how to put a feeling into a box or how to classify a thought instead of rejoicing in the fact that we had such a beautiful feeling in the first place."

"for people in this generation, the old school love is hard to find because they've got so many other types of love that weren't allowed back when old school love was big. it's a different type of freedom to love someone on the weekends but never to fall in love with them. maybe we're just romanticizing hookup culture but who's to say that we can't? maybe we're all more romantic than we want to admit. maybe when we fall into the sheets with someone we barely know, we're looking for a fragment of love to satiate our heart in ways we didn't know it needed."

jaehyun doesn't know what to say to that so he just pulls her closer to him and she lets him, throwing her leg over his as they fall asleep, closer to each other than they had ever been.

+++

you're not sure what had compelled you to leave so quickly that morning. you usually like to get the boys who sleep with to at least cook you breakfast before you left (for compensation of being terrible in bed, if the situation so called for it) but for some reason, every instinct in your body had pulled you to leave.

you had waken up at nearly 5 in the morning, a mere two and a half hours after the two of you had fallen asleep, gathered your clothes, and were about to leave when you turn to look at jaehyun, still snoring away peacefully, his arm crossing his body to rest on the empty space next to him that you had occupied previously.

you had a feeling that you're going to lament leaving this early after psychoanalyzing why you were leaving so early later in the day but for now, if your gut was telling you to leave, you were going to heed the precautions.

but even as you're about to leave, you find yourself turning to jaehyun's desk, sparse but somehow still a little messy as you rummage for a post-it note and a pen to write with. you grin to yourself when you find yourself successful (and endearing somehow that jaehyun has bright pink post-it notes).

you pass a brother on the way out (undoubtedly a freshman who had received the short stick of the duties tonight) but you wave him off when he offers to walk you home. dangerous? most definitely. but you really needed the time and space to yourself and the short, almost ten minute walk back to your apartment would offer some enlightenment.

spoiler alert: it didn't. no matter how hard you wracked your brain to come up with some version of a logical explanation, you realized that there was just simply no way to do so.

and something about that frustrated you. you knew it wasn't a big deal. jaehyun was just a hook-up. a one night stand. and yet...something wasn't fitting right in your mind. so you start to think in the only way you know how, collecting all of the pieces of information you did have.

a) you just had sex - mind-blowing sex with jaehyun. he was everything you expected and more when it came to a sexual partner. b) you didn't develop feelings for him. sex comes fifth on the list of things you subconsciously (or now consciously, since you've spoken it into existence) have when looking for a potential boyfriend. first comes personality, then intelligence, then ambition, then looks, and then sex. you didn't even have a conversation long enough to figure out if jaehyun had more than three brain cells to piece together. c) jaehyun jung had confessed that he had wanted to get with you since last semester. did he mean with you-r body or with you?

you shake your head as if to physically shake the irrational thoughts in your mind out and press your id against the scanner at the entrance of your apartment building, rubbing your fingers against your temples as you get into the elevator to reach your apartment.

unlocking the door to your (empty) apartment, you decide to shelf the thoughts for some time when your head wasn't pounding and collapse on your bed, thanking the lords you'd had the sense to take a shower at jaehyun's.

and the last thing you remember is the smell of jaehyun's shampoo in your hair as you drift into blissful, dreamless sleep.

+++

you're not surprised to feel a weight on your bed when you wake up the next morning. you blearily open your eyes to make out sia's general figure, rosie and fatima undoubtedly chatting quietly in the kitchen.

you vaguely piece together something about fatima having kun over but him sleeping on the couch and you try to push down the guilt that creeps up into your brain as you realize that you had left fatima alone at the party. a party where all of you knew a lot of people (and the outcome was just as everyone had thought it would be) but the principle of the matter stung nonetheless.

you push aside the thought - along with the idea that you should probably apologize to fatima when the cottony feeling in your mouth started to subside - in favor of looking at sia, who is strangely quiet as she watches you gather yourself. for her boisterous personality, sia yoo could see through anyone to the extent of theorized telepathy so you don't even bother trying to hide anything from her.

although, it really is hard to take her seriously when she's got hickey's littered across her neck. well. you suppose you don't look much better at the moment.

"you left before 10 o'clock," sia says simply. you don't pretend to not understand what she means as you nod, pushing yourself up on your bed as fatima and rosie also enter, rosie handing you a glass of water.

"i know," you say softly. "but i want to hear about everyone else's nights right now. i just don't know that i'm in the right headspace to think about why i left so early - i'm not even sure i know why i left so early."

sia says nothing for a moment, watching your face, almost as if she were trying to read your very essence. but she relents, reaching out to hold your hand briefly before completely switching up, speaking animatedly about her very adventurous night, leaving you to simmer in your thoughts.

had sia always been this smart? probably. who's to say that she wasn't, after all?

turns out that sia and johnny were actually going to go on a date on wednesday, after realizing that their chemistry extended further out of the bedroom than either of them had expected. sia was through the roof, obviously, given that she had been thirsting over johnny (although more in a sexual sense than anything else) for so long.

rosie, miyeon, and yugyeom also worked a lot better than any of them had thought so you were sure that you were going to lose your roommate to the other '97 liners more often for the foreseeable future.

fatima was the only one who had a pg night, with kun coming over to her apartment and just chilling together the whole night, eventually having him sleep over since he was too tired to walk back to the apartment that he lived out (it was on the other side of campus, given that he moved out of the nct house pretty late into the semester last year).

"speaking of kun, when are you guys gonna make it official? i mean after this year, you guys are going to only have one year together before you guys graduate," you say, bunching your comforter before letting go. it felt weird saying that. especially in regards to your friends. theoretically, you had all the time in the world together.

but all the time in the world wasn't enough when it came to these girls.

fatima sighs before getting up, wringing her hands together as she thinks. "i don't know. i mean kun's graduating a year early so i really only have this year left. i - i know how much he likes me. i know that he wants to do this right way. go the whole nine yards."

"but...?" rosie says, elongating the syllables as you and sia look at her patiently. fatima shakes her head, getting up to walk around the room, six paces enough to take her from one side of your room to the other.

"i just don't know. kun's great and honestly, i really think that's the one. or at least one of the ones for me. but i just don't know if my parents would be okay with it. i mean my parents are great! they give me so much freedom and honestly, i'm really thankful that my parents allowed me to find religious and spiritual freedom on my own, without ever trying to shove it down my throat."

"but at the same time...how can i betray their trust in me by dating someone who is so far from my religion? like. kun is a great guy but he's not muslim. and sure, i don't follow a lot of the stricter things in islam but i - i have god in my heart. and i don't know that god would want me to start a family that doesn't follow islam. especially since i can see that in my future with kun and kun - i don't know that i could ask kun to convert to another religion for me."

the room is silent for a little bit after fatima finishes, with her collapsing in your bed next to you. rosie and sia exchange a look with each other, and then you, as they both decide to leave the room, leaving you to console fatima.

you were always the most philosophical one out of the bunch anyway.

"look, fatima, i can't pretend to know what it's like to have that kind of mental burden and i really can't understand what it's like to think about the future and be concerned about the impact on the world you might create. i read about something the other day though - did you know that kun means 'manifesting' or 'believing' in arabic?" fatima looks at you with disbelief written all over her face, shaking her head.

"how did you know that?" she asks and you just shrug, nodding at the 'islam for dummies' book you had bought in hopes of understanding a little bit more about one of your closest friend's religion.

"that's not the point. but fatima, you are the single kindest, most beautiful person i know. and i have faith that you will choose what's right for you, not what's right for the people around you because you know better than everyone that the only person who can judge you is god. and no one - no one - on this earth has the right to take that peace away from you."

fatima is silent before wrapping you in her arms, the soft material of her hoodie comforting you and lulling you back into a sleep that's dreamless and calm.

+++

jaehyun doesn't know what to expect when he walks into intro to east asia on monday. should he say hi? wave? start a conversation? should he acknowledge that he spent the better part of his weekend wondering if he would lose his fuckboy status if someone realized just how down bad he was for you?

probably anything but the last one was a good idea.

jaehyun was not in a good state of mind. he was a hot 19 year old man with a near perfect gpa (a whopping 3.98 only because he got a singular a-), a not so terrible set of dimples, and a killer body. and yet he was walking around like how he had been prior to his enlightening summer.

it's almost freeing but also humiliating to think that one night in bed was enough to make him start an entire philosophy but that was where jaehyun was at so who was he to question anything, really?

in fact, jaehyun is so caught up in what he would name his new branch of philosophy (loserism, with a lot of inspiration from zeno) that he doesn't even realize that you've already walked past him and taken your seat.

third row, first seat. you're putting your bag down next to your chair, pulling out your laptop, tossing your hair over your shoulder when it falls in your face. jaehyun tears his eyes away, knowing that this was not a good look for him.

if jaehyun really wanted to pursue you, which he was sure was where all of his jumbled emotions were eventually going to lead him anyway, he knew for a fact that you weren't going to be interested in having to take the lead. especially if jaehyun wasn't even sure that you were interested in the possibility.

but that's a struggle for another day. what was it that stephanie laurens said? that all women want sometimes is a little old-fashioned loving?

that was, in fact, the opposite of what sia had said you were really into but jaehyun had a sneaking suspicion that you wouldn't mind handing the reigns over in the decision making process portion of a relationship, or the courtship, if your time together this weekend alluded to anything.

jaehyun almost misses the beginning of the lecture, where professor ma (no one actually calls him that besides himself) was going into some of his favorite places to stay during his time in china. and while missing any portion of professor ma's lecture was of no crime, he also almost misses the way that you're looking straight at him, faking a yawn when jaehyun finally locks eyes with you.

professor ma was known for giving stellar recommendation letters (which was why johnny had coerced jaehyun into ta'ing for his class in the first place) but he was such a pain in the ass.

jaehyun has to keep from laughing out loud when he sees your exaggerated gestures to show how boring you were finding the professor's lecture to be, pulling himself together in time for him to finally be able to take a seat in the back of the classroom, professor ma having asked him to take attendance for the some two hundred students in the classroom. by hand.

he almost drops the piece of paper that you slide into his hand, subtly slipping it into the pocket of his basketball shorts as makes his way up the flight of stairs to the tenth row, dropping his backpack on the floor next to him, in a rush to open the delicate piece of paper in his hands.

there's only three words on the piece of paper and a series of dashes and yet jaehyun knows that this is all he needs. this is all the signal he needs to know that he wasn't imagining the chemistry or the tension between the two of you. and fuck what anyone said about his 'reputation'; it was jaehyun's turn - the old jaehyun's turn - to get the chance to experience the relationship he had always been dreaming of.

he rereads the little piece of paper before smiling and tucking it into his pocket again.

earn the rest. 9__-___-____.

+++

johnny suh is getting whiplash from his best friend's actions.

one day, he's asking sia yoo if her best friend usually leaves her one night stands by the time they wake up. then he's throwing said one night stand's notes into the trash can before leaving for some frat meeting or another.

the next day, he's carrying another note from the same one night stand he can't seem to get out of his head.

jaehyun doesn't tell johnny anything. he really doesn't need to at this point. johnny suh is a senior in college and he's pretty much seen it all. he's also the vice president of a frat - which means that even if he didn't have all the experience that he did just because of his seniority, he definitely seen it because of the sheer number of stupid decisions frat brothers will find themselves making when they think they're going to either a) get drunk b) get high c) get their dick wet.

johnny knows it's all in good fun (fun that he's definitely not opposed to) but jaehyun's always been a little bit of an enigma when it came to all of it. he was good at the drinking and alright at the getting high and absolutely fan-fucking-tastic at the getting his dick wet.

it was the goddamn dimples. everyone always fell for the dimples.

and sure, while jaehyun had had crushes before (johnny could read his little like no other), they'd always been fueled by the hormonal rush of adrenaline and testosterone pumping through his veins. in fact, johnny's not sure that jaehyun had had a proper crush on anyone at college after getting fucked over in high school, where johnny had also gone to with jaehyun.

not that johnny had really known jaehyun. he was quieter and kept to himself more then. didn't really hang out in the same crowd as johnny.

he knows that's not necessarily true. johnny had, truthfully, just completely overlooked jaehyun. like a lot of girls had until jaehyun had finally started to grow into his features.

but johnny knows jaehyun now and he also knows that if jaehyun had never met gianna lee, jaehyun wouldn't have ever dove headfirst into the deep end of shitfuckery and sleeping around with every breathing body in sight.

cliché story of course. college boy becomes a fuckboy after having his heart broken by a girl in high school. johnny's almost 100% positive that sia's shoved at least two or three novels like those in johnny's face, with the same exact plot.

but what is life but a series of clichés after all. and honestly, did it even matter? it was real. it happened to jaehyun. that was all. end of story.

so johnny doesn't even say a word when he sees the post-it note in jaehyun's trash can. he's silent as he watches sia and jaehyun talk and jaehyun fall into a period of overthinking (and jaehyun knows he's overthinking too because johnny can see him shake his head even as he continues to stare at the 'people' tab of intro to east asia).

and johnny finally decides to break his silence when he sees jaehyun with a new post-it note, although this time it was a much more tame blue post-it, and a pensive look.

jaehyun slips it to johnny to read as they're sitting at the local starbucks, with johnny filling out some paperwork for the job he was signed on for as soon as the school year ended and jaehyun studying for the organic chemistry exam he had coming up the next week.

he doesn't say anything when he passes the note but johnny can see him sideye-ing him to catch his reaction and it's all he can do to keep from letting a little smile slip through.

he hands the piece of paper back, watching as jaehyun immediately stuffs it into his backpack, and for some reason, he's really not sure what to say. if sia were here, she would know exactly what to say, and how to say it. she had a way of saying things that were a little too straightforward to feel good but also obviously coming from a generally good place.

it was one of the reasons why johnny had thought it would be a good idea to make it official with her. sia yoo was nothing like what johnny had thought - and the thought simultaneously frightens him and comforts him.

"you plan on asking her out on a date?" johnny says lightly, sliding his laptop over to pretend to look at his phone casually. in actuality, he's typing furiously to sia (one of the few people that johnny trusted or consulted when it came to advice giving) about what was happening.

johnny is not very surprised when sia's gray bubble appears, disappears, and then appears again only to say, "yeah, i know."

he waits for a more elaborate response. or even a more sia-like response but the more that he talks to her, the more johnny is learning that sia is more unpredictable than she really seems to be.

and sia yoo seems to be completely out of the box.

johnny shakes his head, as if to physically get rid of the thoughts of her from his head, unsure why he was thinking of her when he was supposed to be helping out one of his boys.

"yeah. i think so? i don't know. i mean we had a good time and we definitely have chemistry. but we literally just had one night in bed and that's it." jaehyun furrows his eyebrows as he realizes that's not just it. "well, there is the fact that kun was walking around singing her praises. and i know that fatima wouldn't be friends with kun or y/n if she wasn't sure they're both good people. not to mention the fact that i've always thought she's kinda hot. but it's always been superficial. even us spending the night together was really nothing more than finding each other hot or trying to figure out if the talk around town was real or not."

johnny takes a sip of his americano as he lets jaehyun's words sink into his own mind. jaehyun rests his heads on his arms crossed in front of him and johnny knows exactly the set of thoughts that's running through jaehyun's mind because they were the same as johnny's when he had decided to ask sia out on a date.

is it worth it? is it worth possibly getting my heart strung up on someone again just to face the possibility of breaking it again?

so johnny offers the only advice that he really has.

"talk to roseanne. girls' fiercest protectors are their friends and something tells me that talking to her will make you fall on one side or the other."

+++

the next time that jaehyun sees roseanne is a complete coincidence. he really only meant to say hi to one of his homies, yugyeom, on the way out of the library and hadn't expected to run into roseanne or miyeon at all. especially not a singular day after johnny had suggested that he seek her out in the first place.

he watches as yugyeom thumbs the rip in miyeon's jeans as he continues to talk to jaehyun about something jeongguk had done the previous weekend. and then he sees miyeon press a kiss to roseanne's cheek as she gets up to fill up her water bottle.

jaehyun didn't think he would understand that dynamic at all but whatever floated their boat. who was he to judge? he had watched the barbie movie and was still having a crisis about his masculinity and was actively searching out his one night stand's (were you still just his one night stand?) roommate and best friend to fix it. to be fair, he didn't really fully understand the barbie movie, to the chagrin of doyoung's girlfriend nairobi but that was besides the point.

yeah. jaehyun was really in no position to speak. wow he had a lot of things to work on internally. the more he talked to the women in his life, the more he was realizing this. again. not the point.

roseanne takes one look at his face and then exchanges a look with miyeon and then yugyeom before standing up and walking towards the exit, looking at jaehyun questioningly when she realizes that jaehyun hasn't moved an inch. jaehyun hurriedly bids yugyeom and miyeon goodbye as he rushes after her.

the two of them linger outside of the library and roseanne just raises an eyebrow as she appraises jaehyun. and for some reason, jaehyun stands up straighter, and she just sighs, a small smile playing on her lips.

"let me guess. 'who makes people work for their number? what is this? sprinkle sprinkle type of stuff?' or maybe 'this is kinda cringey, isn't it?' or just a sweet and simple 'what the actual fuck?'" roseanne says nonchalantly, listing out each possible question jaehyun could have come to ask.

"would it make me a bad man if i said yes to all of the above?" jaehyun asks, shoving his hands into his pockets. roseanne shrugs, crossing her arms across her chest.

"not really. i don't think so at least. it's a fair set of questions that even i asked her the first time a guy came up to me asking who the fuck my roommate thought she was," roseanne says. she takes sees the look of confusion on jaehyun's face as she continues, "you're definitely not the first person to ask me that but you are of a selective few. y/n usually doesn't let people get this far in the first place. and secondly, she doesn't really tell us much about people she's interested in until much later."

"she's a strange person, if i'm being honest with you. there's just something about her that makes her so captivating and invisible at the same time. she'll capture the attention of everyone in the room but if you talk to her, she'll make you feel like her best friend. she seems like an open book, and an even more open friend. and you feel so close to her within a conversation and then you end the conversation, you realize that even as she spoke, she revealed nothing about herself."

"i'm her best friend and i could tell you very confidently that i didn't know a single thing about her truly until recently. it made me frustrated at first. like i was a shitty friend or something. but the closer to her i got, the more i realized that she's always been a great friend but no one's been a great friend to her. she's very selective with the people she associates with - not just people she lets herself be seen with but people she confides in."

"this whole thing is a defense mechanism. she'd be caught dead before she'd ever admit it but she just hasn't been loved in the way that she's loved and now she's more guarded for it. i'll tell you this jaehyun, but if you want to give up, do it now. she says she's just going to give you her number if you earn it but once you get all 10 digits, know that she's gonna give you her heart."

"it seems like i'm violating girl code by telling you all this but like i said, even if you were to ask y/n, she would say the same thing. not in so many words but still. like i said. she's an open book and a closed heart. she knows you're gonna ask me and so she only tells me something that she would be okay with you hearing."

jaehyun, who had been listening quietly and patiently the whole time, cuts in with a quiet voice. "isn't it exhausting to live like that?"

roseanne looks at him strangely, as though she was truly seeing him for the first time. jaehyun doesn't know if he's offended or relieved that she'd done what he'd done to sia - made assumptions based on his appearance. he lands on neutral. it's human nature, to try and make proper guesses about who's gonna act like what.

the ancient art of preventing heartbreak, jaehyun supposes.

"maybe. i don't think so though. it's gotta be a different level of relief knowing that no one's gonna talk shit about you because a) no one knows you well enough to do that or b) because you're so careful with who you trust that you know they'd never betray you or even c) they can only talk about what you put out into the world. it's why censorship is so effective. people can only talk about what they know. there's few people who will ignore what they see to find what they can't see tangibly."

"are all of y/n's friends secretly poets or something? why the hell are you guys all speaking cryptically like you're all freemasons or some shit like that. i can't tell if i find it cringey or cool," jaehyun says, cocking his head.

roseanne lets out a real, full bellied laugh at that, clutching her stomach as chuckles escape her. jaehyun's not sure what he's said that's so funny but he knows for a fact that she's not laughing with him, but at him.

"why is it cringey, jaehyun? why would it be cool? it's just what it is. we're just girls. you'll see us at the party next weekend, drinking our weight in alcohol. we'll have the conversations about makeup and dresses and having fun and our future and our past. there's nothing like freemasonry, i promise. it's just so amusing to see men get alarmed by the thoughts that girls have been wrestling with since they've been twelve. the duality of man, i guess," roseanne says finally, once she's caught her breath.

jaehyun doesn't know how to respond to that so he elects to save the remaining tatters of his dignity by just not responding at all. if there's one thing he's learned about you, it's that you surround yourself by women who are not hesitant about putting him in his place. and he's oddly thankful for it.

"i have one last question. well, two last questions, actually," jaehyun says when he sees roseanne turning around to head back inside, still wiping the tears from her eyes from laughing too hard.

roseanne turns, a knowing glint in her eyes even before jaehyun asks his question.

"how many guys have talked to you? and what's the highest number anyone's ever gotten to?"

roseanne is silent and just as the silence begins to turn awkward, she promptly turns on her heel and begins to walk away. she opens the door to the library before she seemingly changes her mind and looks back at jaehyun.

"two guys have talked to me. you're gonna have to ask fatima about the second question though. and jaehyun? the next number is 6."

96_-___-____.

+++

jaehyun finds fatima not soon after his conversation with roseanne. he's sitting in the nct house, watching johnny pace back and forth in his room, trying to figure out if what he was wearing was too casual for a date to a bowling alley.

it was way too formal, in jaehyun's opinion. but he was just going to wait for johnny to finish panicking (even if he would never admit that he was, in fact, panicking) to figure that out on his own. seriously though, who wore a button down and slacks to a bowling alley?

then again, he was going on a date with sia yoo so really, anything was fairplay when it came to that girl. she was a whirlwind of literally everything that could possibly go into a human being. she was a maximalist to the fullest, seizing every opportunity she could to make good memories, pressing forward with a sense of perfect clarity and sobriety that most people would be scared of.

the type of girl who was the main character of any story that she would feature in. sia was the type of person that people who trip and fall over themselves trying to have a good time with that she practically promised. she walked around with fairy dust in her fingers and a strange sense of wisdom that felt like she could read you like a book within a singular meeting with her.

jaehyun knows that she's the most intimidating out of all of the girls. out of you, roseanne, fatima, and sia, she was hands down the most frightening because even though she could read everyone else, no one could really read her.

then there was roseanne. she was the wet dream of every girl alive - the reason why straight girls lamented that they were straight and still falling a little bit in love with her. she was hot, flirtatious to the extent of making everyone wonder what they were when she gave them even a split second of attention, and so incredibly full of life. it doesn't surprise jaehyun that she had become exclusive with miyeon and yugyeom. for some reason, he feels like she just wouldn't have been able to settle for liking one person at once.

she was a little too much for just one person to be able to handle. she was like the human personification of a leather jacket wearing, motorcycle driving, woody cologne smelling wattpad trope. jaehyun understands her appeal all too well.

and then there was fatima. she was kind, sweet, kept to herself, and always offered a helping hand to those around her. jaehyun understood why kun had fallen so hard for her within two minutes of meeting her. she had an air about her that made you feel like she was someone who truly cared about you, even if you didn't know her and she didn't know you all that well. she was the type of girl who was always forgotten in the novels about warriors and princesses. the girl who was often reduced to nothing more than the main character's best friend.

until you met a girl like her in real life. fatima was still a little forgotten, and jaehyun knew that. guys often overlooked her in favor of her 'hotter' or 'wilder' friends, which is admittedly what jaehyun had thought at first. but she was just so genuine and clearheaded. she protected her peace in a way that was so unusual for young, college-going students. not to say that sia, roseanne, or you weren't genuine or anything like that. but fatima was the type of girl that jaehyun knew was perfect for kun. the girl that he could go home and know that no matter what he had done in his past, she would love him all the same.

and there was you. smart, strangely private, and a series of contradictions housed within one heart. jaehyun wracks his brain, trying to gather everything that he knew about you and yet, he comes up empty.

frustratingly empty.

jaehyun vaguely registers the fact that johnny has finally changed and is getting ready to go. he knows that he should say something about how johnny should just be himself and that sia liking him is completely up to her, regardless of what johnny were to do. but when he locks eyes with johnny, he realizes that johnny already knows.

so jaehyun just claps him on the back as he heads back to his room, his mind spinning as he tries to think of everything that he knows about you. and he draws a blank every fucking time.

he knows superficial things about you. maybe it's because he doesn't know you like he knows your friends. he hasn't talked to you as much as he's talked to them. but how does he not know you? he's been wanting to get with you for so long. he wanted more than just your body. he wanted your charm and your appeal.

was it just your body? is that all it was? is that all jaehyun wanted? somehow, jaehyun doesn't want to believe that. he doesn't want that for himself. logically, he knows that gianna's impact on his life shouldn't be extending this far. he knows that he shouldn't want or have to fight himself this hard but you're not making it much easier for him.

when was the last time jaehyun wanted to get to know such an enigma of a girl? gianna lee. and he wants nothing to do with a girl like that ever again.

and yet, here he is. falling into the same trap all over again.

jaehyun's so caught up in his own thoughts, feeling himself starting to spiral when he bumps in fatima and kun, who are equally caught up in a conversation with each other.

"oh, my bad," jaehyun mumbles, ready for fatima to brush past him but she doesn't, looking at jaehyun and then kun.

"hey man, we're headed back to my place. why don't you come back with us?" kun offers, and jaehyun just nods blankly, as he starts to follow them out of the nct house. kun stops at the entrance where he picks up a textbook from yuta, who had been borrowing it for the last week, before the three of them make their way out.

"how are you, jaehyun?" fatima asks with a sweet smile as they pile into kun's car. somehow, jaehyun doesn't want to give her a generic, insincere answer.

"i'm...okay. i'm just okay. confused but okay," jaehyun says and fatima seems alright with this answer. kun pulls out of the 'driveway' of the frat house, exchanging in a quiet conversation with fatima about what they were planning on eating for the night, leaving jaehyun to simmer in his thoughts.

gianna lee. there was a name that he thought about almost every day and never all at the same time. the girl who had made him and broke him. the girl that jaehyun had trusted with his heart and made him regret ever doing that.

the girl who had been the first love of his life.

+++

gianna was a year younger than him. smart, so incredibly sweet, and yet someone that no one could confidently say that they knew. she was the type of girl who could slip under the radar as easily as her friends seemed to always stay on top of.

she ran in the same circle as jaehyun had in senior year, right when jaehyun was beginning to blossom into the man that he was today. she had always been kind to him, if not a little withdrawn, even when he was a skinny boy with proportions that absolutely did not seem to match each other.

jaehyun didn't even know her well enough for her to break his heart, honestly. jaehyun had liked her even before having a proper conversation with her. he knew how left out she felt in her own body. even though he couldn't imagine a more gorgeous girl, he knew that she didn't feel that way about herself.

he knew that she always compared herself to her friends. her well-accomplished, 'main character' best friends who were the talk of the school. and her. no matter how intelligent or kind or put together she was, no one really looked at her the way that jaehyun did. she knew it.

even jaehyun couldn't place why he liked her so much. maybe it was the fact that he was somehow comforted that a girl with so much beauty could feel the same way as him. maybe it was the fact that she had always held the same smile for him, regardless of what he looked like. or maybe it was even the fact that one time, she had held his hand as she pulled him across the street, running to catch up with their friends who had already crossed.

jaehyun just remembers looking at her dyed cherry red hair falling into her eyes as she laughs, pulling him forward to where the rest of their friends were standing. and as he breathes in the smoke in the air and the raspberry scent of her perfume, he just knows that he really, truly likes gianna lee.

gianna lee doesn't like him the way that he likes her. he knows that. logically, jaehyun knows that his feelings are truly unfounded. he really has no reason to like gianna the way that he does. and yet, there's a part of him that holds onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, she'll turn around with those big eyes and upturned lips and say that she likes him the way that he likes her.

so he continues to look at her first when he makes the friend group laugh. he always slips her a napkin when he's getting one for himself when they're out getting milkshakes. he offers to help her with apush when she's stressing about a test the next week.

the closer he gets to her, the more jaehyun realizes that really, she was nothing like the image of her he had conjured in his head. she was every bit sweet as he had thought but she was argumentative, competitive, and all too obsessed with perfection. she always needed to be right in an argument, always had to win, and always had to make sure that she looked flawless doing so.

jaehyun doesn't realize it, of course. he's so obsessed with his glazed over façade of her that he just continues to let her win the arguments even when he knows that she's wrong. and she lets him wrap his arms around her when she gets an 89% on her test.

he lets her walk all over him and she lets him act on his feelings.

it was a toxic, parasitic relationship that neither of them were truly happy in. when gianna asked him out, jaehyun hadn't felt like fireworks were going off in his stomach. he felt like he had won a prize at a marathon. like he'd won a medal.

gianna wasn't a medal. she was a flawed, beautiful human being - every bit gorgeous and horrible as jaehyun and every other human being was. but jaehyun had won, hadn't he?

he hadn't. and it took so long for him to realize that by the time he'd realized that gianna had really only taken to him out of pity, he was so far in his own head that he didn't know how to leave her.

eventually, the summer before college rolled around and gianna had taken it upon herself to do the nasty deed of breaking up with him. it had been an amicable split, as far as their friends were concerned.

but none of them had ever truly either of their friends. so what did they know?

what did they know about gianna finding comfort in her ex's arms? what did they know about her grades slipping at the end of the school year? what did they know about her having to excuse herself at a meeting for her internship to sob in the bathroom as she realized the true fallacy in the way she had acted? what did they know about the way she had to reconstruct herself bottom up? nothing.

what did they know about jaehyun spending every other night with a different girl, trying to ease the ache in his heart? what did they know about the obscene number of hours at the gym, not sure how to combat the sudden numbness after girl after girl? what did they know about the fact that jaehyun could not physically stand the smell of raspberries anymore? absolutely nothing.

no one knew anything until jaehyun had finally come to college. it was once he joined the frat and met guys who were so alike and different from him at the same time that he finally opened up about gianna.

only to doyoung, kun, and johnny but people nonetheless. everyone had gone through something similar - while for some it happened at college or back home, they all knew the pain. some of them were more in the fault than others but pain is pain and a paper cut bleeds the same red as a gunshot wound.

which is why when kun sits him down on the couch and fatima hands him a cup of iced tea to save them all from the sweltering heat as august makes a last stand against september's winds, jaehyun spills everything.

gianna. his past. his insecurities. everything. he knows he shouldn't. logically, fatima had nothing stopping her from going and telling everything that jaehyun had told her to you, but for some reason, jaehyun thinks that she won't.

she doesn't.

+++

fatima knows that jaehyun was going to talk to her about something like this. it seemed that all of the nct boys came with some level of trauma like this. she wasn't sure what it was about every single boy she had met in college (although, granted, they were either her friends' conquests or kun's friends - a very interesting group of very intertwined boys) having their hearts getting ripped to shreds. sometimes it was of their own volition but they all seemed to be some level of hurt either way.

so when jaehyun spills his heart out on kun's carpeted floors, she's ready with a well-rehearsed speech. he's one of six boys she'd already had this same exact conversation with (kun has a bad habit of picking up strays) but when he looks at her with such raw anguish in his eyes, she falters.

she looks to kun, who's looking at her with the same question that she knows jaehyun is asking.

"how do you know when to choose between your head and your heart? because my heart is so fucking scared of getting attached to someone again. but my head knows that i can't push everyone away because i'm scared."

fatima is quiet, searching for the right words. she's about to say something when kun speaks up, looking determinedly at fatima.

"you learn to choose you. instead of choosing between your head and your heart, just choose yourself. at the end of the day, you and y/n are good people who aren't trying to hurt each other. you're both trying not to get hurt. and honestly, maybe you'll realize that you both are better off as friends along the way. maybe you just realize that you don't want to be with someone right now. or maybe you find someone who makes you feel like you're safe and loved when you're around them, whether you're in love with them or not." fatima looks at kun with a soft smile, reaching out to hold his hand gently.

"you have to choose yourself, jaehyun. trust me. the more you start thinking about what is best for the people around you instead of thinking for yourself, you'll look back fifteen, twenty years down the road and see everyone but yourself in your life. don't do something because gianna and how she made you feel. don't let your past define your future," fatima says, and jaehyun can feel the tears prick his eyes. he blinks determinedly, trying to make them disappear but when kun sits on one side of him and fatima on the other, he starts losing his battle against his emotions, finally letting himself mourn the innocence he had once had.

he buries his head into fatima's shoulder and for some reason, he feels as though kun and fatima would be amazing parents. because jaehyun doesn't remember the last time that he had felt this safe in an embrace.

"and jaehyun? the furthest anyone has ever gotten is five numbers. you're at three. it's your call from here. do what you want, not what you think you need to do." fatima taps his shoulder gently and lets him cry for as long as he needs to.

963-___-____.

+++

jaehyun gets the next number from you. after his conversation with fatima, he's sure that if he wants to go any further than this, he needed to talk to you first.

it's strange. he's earning your number but it feels like jaehyun's somehow earning himself back. and when he finds you again, he knows that you can tell.

even johnny could tell. when he had come back from his (successful) date with sia, the first thing he had said was, "wow. you look so...light."

jaehyun hadn't said anything but 'thank you' but it was enough.

johnny had just smiled at him and recounted the date, stating that he was going to ask her to go on another date this saturday night. jaehyun doesn't mention the fact that nct is throwing that night because johnny already knows.

and honestly, sia is a junior and johnny is a senior. they've been to their fair share of parties. one party being missed wouldn't be life changing for them. but skipping a party as the vice president of a frat and a girl who was sought after as a sweetheart for six frats meant something nonetheless.

he hadn't expected that they were to get that serious that quickly but it was a refreshing change. even fatima and kun were starting about talking about talking to fatima's parents to get their blessing for their relationship. her dilemma was no secret and it seemed that the conversation between the three of them had served to help them through their own issues as well.

there was just something in the air, jaehyun had supposed. august turned to september in the week that jaehyun had wrestled with himself, eventually leading to seeking you out.

it had been at the nct party, actually. you were standing with some of your acquaintances, all of your friends having dispersed to do what they were going to do. jaehyun had been on the other side of the room, convincing bambam that it was most definitely not a good idea to try and pursue soyeon jeon if he wanted to make sure that he woke up with all his limbs intact the next morning.

you had met his eye, raising an eyebrow before continuing your conversation, all thoughts of him seemingly out of your mind. jaehyun looks between bambam (who has gone from trying to get with soyeon to jumping into the pool) (that pool had not been cleaned in a full six months) and you. he just finds jungwoo, one of the pledges, and hands him a very drunk bambam.

"do not let him do anything dumb. i'm counting on you pledge," jaehyun called out over his shoulder as he weaves through people to get to you.

"jaehyun! hey! long time no see," hailey whitfield says, throwing herself in jaehyun's arms. jaehyun looks at you, where you're staring straight at where hailey's body ends and his arms begin. jaehyun tries to push her off of him. once upon a time, jaehyun would've been behind happy about getting with her again - she was so good with her mouth. but now, he has no intentions of giving you the wrong impression.

at least until he has a proper conversation with you so that you knew where he stood with you. and where you stood with him.

"hey hailey, sorry i've gotta get to my friend," he says, not even looking at her as he pushes off of her, resuming his threading through the crowd to where you're standing. you look at him, unimpressed, but jaehyun knows you well enough to know that three numbers are enough to make you feel a certain way if jaehyun was fooling around with other girls.

which he hasn't been. not a single night. jaehyun jung's bed has been empty for an entire two weeks, something that doyoung and nairobi have been taking full advantage of.

even some of jaehyun's friends had started asking if he was having problems or something but he had brushed them off. he definitely wasn't having problems, if hailey whitfield was any indication. but he felt like it would be doing you dirty if he had someone in his bed while he was talking to your friends about you.

so he hadn't.

he knows you know. he knows that you know he's talked to sia, roseanne, and fatima. he'd figured that you'd find out either through them or just by him. he can tell by the look in your eyes that you've read him thoroughly.

so he really doesn't feel bad about pulling you away from your friends, taking you upstairs to his room. finally, doyoung had promised that they would go back to nairobi's place on the condition that jaehyun made sure that no one would try to fuck on his bed. he promised, knowing that the only person who'd be coming up here would be him. he needed to talk to you tonight. if he knew anything it was that.

but once you're sitting on his bed, watching him pace back and forward, he's lost everything he's been wanting to say. where does he even start? with gianna? with the questions he has for you? with the number? where does he begin?

jaehyun looks at you, where you're watching him with a small smile on your face and suddenly, it doesn't matter where he begins. you'll listen to it all. he knows that much.

"why do you want me to work for your number?" jaehyun asks. you look at him curiously, tilting your head as you piece together an answer.

"are you sure you don't know the answer to that question?" you say, folding your legs so that you're sitting criss cross on the navy covers.

"i do. but i want to hear it from you, y/n. you know what all your friends say about you? that they didn't properly know you until a full year of friendship with you. but they said that you never lie. so i want you to tell me," jaehyun says, chest heaving by the end of his ramble. his eyes turn soft as he watches you become more and more solemn and he steps forward, sitting down on his desk chair and swiveling it over so that he was sitting directly across from you.

you pause for a moment, searching for the words before saying anything. "i've never been in a relationship before. so i don't have the trauma that could come from something like that. but i know what it's like to lose your heart to someone. and i know that it hurts. i want to be loved in the way that i never thought i could be. so the number thing is just an excuse for me to get to the point where i won't feel guilty about liking someone."

you shrug, smiling but not allowing the smile to reach your eyes. "it's a good way to make sure that the guy knows what he's getting into either way."

jaehyun nods at that. he knew that much. it feels different hearing it from you though. when you're the one saying it, jaehyun knows that it's real. raw. not coming from people trying to protect you because they know that you're far too soft to truly come at him guns blazing.

somehow, he likes it. he likes that you're much softer than you seem. that you're a lot more vulnerable than you come off as. and for some reason, jaehyun hopes that you never perfect the art of becoming standoffish.

"hmm. you've never been in a relationship before?" jaehyun says finally and you nod, shrugging once more. a shadow of bittersweet nostalgia crosses your face before you're back to your soft smile and guarded yet curious eyes.

"nope. part of it was on me; i've got high standards, if you can't tell. and the other part was that i've always wanted someone who fascinates me. of course, i wasn't all that appealing to men because i spent so much time trying to beat them at the only thing they were good at - ego-boosting themselves but they weren't interesting. none of them were people i really wanted to get to know," you say, unfolding your legs.

jaehyun likes the fact that the tips of your toes are the only part of your feet that touch the ground from how far back you're sitting on the bed. in an act of boldness, jaehyun moves forward to sit next to you, right where you're sitting. his feet are flat on the floor, he realizes.

he doesn't know why he's noticing things like this but he is and something about that frustrates him, frightens him, and tugs at his heartstrings altogether.

"you're heartbroken, aren't you? boys like you always seem to be a little hurt," you say, tossing the words into the air like rose petals. they're recklessly thrown but they're somehow beautiful in the way that blackened roses are always beautiful.

"yeah. i was. i think i will always mourn who i was before that. i was so naïve. but i'm not him anymore. and i think i'm realizing that i'm actually okay with that." jaehyun says the words just as carelessly as you do but once they're out in the open, he realizes that he's being completely honest. he turns to you with a strange look though.

"boys like me?"

you smile and nod at him. "boys like you."

you stand up, walking to where jaehyun has a corkboard with a shitload of scraps and photos from the past two years. you don't mention the fact that none of the memories that he has on the board date from before senior year. you don't need to.

"boys like you who've never been loved completely. boys who think that they need to listen to what the world says about how they should be acting or thinking. boys who are hopeless romantics but what would the world say if they knew that these boys just wanted a little bit of love? what would they say if they were looking for warmth in an empty and cold bed?"

jaehyun hates that you're right. it's the college boy tragedy. condemned to never be able to completely heal from one bad experience and then always breaking hearts to collect enough pieces to build themselves a new one.

he didn't want to end like that. even if it wasn't with you, he was ready to grow past it. he didn't want to end as a heartbreaker.

"boys like me...and you like a boy like me?" jaehyun asks. he doesn't know why he does. this is the first proper conversation you've had with him when both of you are decidedly sober. you want to deflect the question but if he's being honest, that's a sign for you to be just as honest.

"i don't know. from what my friends say, and what i know about you as a person in class, i know you mean well. and honestly, i've always just been the type of person to like someone past things like the books they read or the way they dress," you say, still looking at the memories jaehyun's pieced together over the years on this board. "i feel something around you. and i don't know you well enough to know that i like you as someone more than a friend but i'd like to at least have the chance to get that far."

that's all jaehyun needs. he gets another number that night.

+++

jaehyun waits for you outside of intro to east asia, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as he waits for you to make it out of the classroom. you're the last one to leave, knowing that technically, you and jaehyun weren't allowed to see each other while he was your ta.

jaehyun had never really pegged you as someone with so much respect for the rules but you had argued that it was mostly about the principle.

he'd learned a lot about you that last weekend. you and him had stayed up all night, talking about nothing and everything under the sun until the sun itself rose, eventually falling asleep in a tangled mess of limbs and conversations.

he learned that while you didn't like the rules, you often followed them as long as they followed your own moral code. that you would die for your friends and that had landed you in many bad friendships when people would use that to their advantage before you'd met your friends in college. he learned that you were super close with your family, and that they were quite literally the best friends that you could always rely on.

and he learned that you wanted to see him again. on a date. sometime soon. so with no real way of communicating with you outside of social media (and he somehow felt like sliding into your dm's was corny and somewhat of a copout), here he was. waiting outside of the classroom like he was ripped straight from a 1950's romance movie. he even had the letterman jacket on to boot.

"oh my god, you scared me," you say, pressing a hand to your chest as you quite nearly bump into jaehyun. he smiles, readjusting his backpack on his shoulders as the two of you start walking.

"you knew i was waiting for you outside, didn't you?" he says, pushing the side door open to walk towards the parking lot, where he's convinced kun to let him borrow his car for the day.

"yeah but i didn't think you would be literally outside the door," you murmur, checking your phone to see the rest of your day's schedule. you had purposefully blocked off three hours of your schedule to hang out with jaehyun, which you were sure to regret later on when your organic chemistry class kicked your ass. but that was a later issue.

"well, i couldn't text you where i was so i figured i'd wait in plain sight," jaehyun retorts, opening the passenger door for you without a word. huh. that was the first time a man has ever done that for you. and jaehyun did it as though it were second nature - like it was a given.

you don't know why something so small means so much to you but you're alright with it. you're alright with just appreciating it.

"that's fair," you say. another number's on the tip of your tongue as you watch him get into the driver's seat but jaehyun beats you to the punch.

"don't give me a number. not yet," jaehyun says. "not that i don't want one. but i just...me waiting outside your classroom or opening your door isn't enough for a number. even if i don't get all ten, you've got to up your standards."

you don't know what to say to that so you don't say anything, turning on the music and letting the melody of chemtrails under the country club by lana del ray fill the rainy september afternoon sky.

+++

when jaehyun pulls up to a run down diner, you're pleasantly surprised. although you're not much of a sucker for romantic places, the fact that jaehyun is somehow makes you happy. it makes you happy that he still sees the beauty in places like these. and when you look over at him, dimples threatening to show as he breathes in the air of misty fog and the smell of milkshakes and burgers, you're so tempted to kiss him.

so you lean over, looking at him with a twinkle in your eyes once jaehyun has parked.

"can i kiss you?" you ask, mere inches from his lips. jaehyun just looks at you, and from this close, you realize just how beautiful his eyes are. they're dark, darker than anyone else's that you know. and yet, it feels like you could fall in and never regret it.

"please."

it's all you need. and it's all he needs because as soon as word slips from his lips, he's pressing forward, his lips against yours. he's soft, you register vaguely. nothing like last time. nothing like how he'd kissed you like he could think of nothing but absolutely ruining you.

jaehyun is soft. like the feeling of slipping a cold hand into someone's warm jacket pocket. he kisses you like he's scared of ruining you. ruining this. and you're absolutely addicted to the feeling.

the feeling of knowing that he could just claim you instead of trying his best to claim your heart. no matter how fucked up it was that you were even thinking that someone could 'claim' you. he wasn't like that and you could work with that.

he pulls away from you, eyes still closed as he sits against the drivers seat, his head against the headrest. you watch him, a silly and childish smile on your face - although you're not really sure why it's there in the first place. but who are you to knock anything?

there aren't many words to exchange as the two of you make your way into the diner. jaehyun had opened your car door again. this time, you just offer him your hand and you're strangely alright with just how safe you feel with his hand locked in yours.

the diner seems as though time has frozen still here.

and everything about the date seems the same. it feels as though time has frozen still - almost as though the two of you are in a little bubble with no one but each other. it's a feeling you haven't experienced in a while. a feeling you don't think you've ever had because of a boy.

it feels...almost scarily comfortable. it doesn't feel as though there are fireworks exploding for every word that jaehyun says. but it does feel as though that there's a hot mug of cocoa that's been handed to you on a cold winter night. and that feeling, the feeling of warmth spreading through every corner of your body, is the feeling that you know is good for you.

so you listen to him, watch him speak animatedly about basketball or a book he read, chin resting in your palm as you find yourself falling deeper and deeper.

jaehyun gets two numbers that day.

+++

it doesn't take much longer for jaehyun to get the rest of the numbers. soon enough, you're more than happy just to spend time with him the way that you spend time with your friends. you feel as though you've made a good friend out of someone you'd thought that you wouldn't even be able to get along with.

"you know, when i first met you, even before i knew you, i really didn't like you," you say, taking a sip out of your latte. the seasons have changed, fall giving way to winter. the november air bites your skin every time someone opens the door to the tiny café the two of you were sitting in.

jaehyun smiles, nodding as he leans back in his chair. "i know. i could tell by the look in your eyes."

"the look in my eyes?"

"yeah. the one that said that you wanted to get to know me. to figure out my deal even if you didn't necessarily want to find out for sure. kind of like you wanted to be the one that said 'aha!' at the end of a movie, even though you weren't sure of the ending at all."

you look at jaehyun for a moment before laughing, shaking your head as you laugh. "you're even starting to talk like me now."

jaehyun pauses before he nods, smiling with you. "yeah, i know. you've rubbed off on me in a lot of ways."

"i've improved your music taste, that's for sure," you snort, taking another sip out of your latte. "i still can't believe you didn't like ric flair drip when we met."

"it's not that i didn't like it and it's still not that i like it now. but i guess i just have a good memory associated with it now so it's growing on me," jaehyun says. your eyebrows furrow as you try to recollect what good memory he could possibly be referring to.

"oh my god. the night that we met! i was trying to get in your pants with ric flair drip," you say incredulously, shivering when someone opens and closes the door once more. jaehyun hands you his hoodie, leaving his arm extended silently when you protest.

you don't know why you still bother trying to protest with him when you knew you were going to lose. you put the sweater on as jaehyun starts talking, letting the scent of clean water and pine trees swaddle you softly.

"honestly, i think i was more than you that night," jaehyun says, as he looks at you with an incriminating twinkle in his eyes. "that was around the time that even taeyong said that he wanted to see if kun's vivid descriptions were true or not. and i wasn't about to let him get the opportunity to get to you before i did. i don't know why. i felt almost protective over you. but not in a good way. in the type of way where i wanted to show you how good i could make you feel - more than anyone could even begin to think of making you feel."

the previously cold café begins to become a lot hotter than you were feeling before, clearing your throat as you try to let the moment pass.

"how did we even get here?" you say, fanning yourself delicately. the move only serves to work against you when you fan yourself so that the scent of his cologne on his hoodie only gets stronger in your mind.

jaehyun leans back, letting you switch the conversation. he'd bring it up to you later in the night, anyway. besides, for someone who puts on such a strong front, it's honestly a little fun to see you squirm at the slightest implications from jaehyun.

"but, uh, jaehyun. i've been meaning to ask you something for a while," you begin, fidgeting with the wrapper of the straw in front of you. jaehyun tilts his head as if to question what you have to say as he waits patiently.

"what are we?"

now jaehyun is truly confused. was the past month of going on dates not clear enough? jaehyun wasn't going on dates with anyone else. oh my god. were you going on dates with other men? is that why you're asking.

"i thought we were dating?" jaehyun says, phrasing his sentence more like a question than a statement. "i mean i'm not talking to anyone else and i kinda assumed that since i'd gotten all ten numbers, neither were you."

you hum, unable to stop the silly smile on your face.

"good. that's just what i was thinking too."

+++

honestly, everything about jaehyun jung is appealing to you. from the way that he engulfs you in a hug when you're up late studying. or the way that he convinces you that you have a virus on your laptop just so that he could spend more time with you 'fixing' your laptop for you. or the way that he sits with you and your friends, patiently listening and offering advice wherever he can (or honestly, is just allowed to speak).

you're so glad to see him like this. as your boyfriend of four and a half months (you hadn't let him make it official until he was no longer your ta), you've seen him grow in ways that you'd never thought. jaehyun was every inch the stupid, naïve fuckboy you'd thought him to be in the beginning. and he was also every inch the hopeless romantic with a little too much love to give for a scarred heart.

so you heal together. you help each other when you quite literally can't handle the pain and together, you grow. he's more confident. not just in the way that he looks - but the way that he speaks around people. the way that he educates himself. the way that he communicates how he feels.

and he helps you everyday. he shows you what it feels like to be loved the way you love others. he shows you that you are worth the princess treatment. and most importantly for you, he loves the people around you the way you love the people around you.

kun and fatima find their happy ending. fatima had spoken to her parents and while they took some time to warm up to kun, his soft demeanor and the way that he loved fatima so completely and sincerely eventually won them over. fatima even met kun's parents with equal success, although kun's mother kept asking when fatima and kun would get married.

(their wedding was already in the works by both fatima's mother and kun's mother. you were beyond elated to go to both the traditional muslim ceremony and the traditional chinese ceremonies.)

johnny and sia ended up going out on a couple more dates before realizing that they probably just weren't meant to be a couple. they loved each other as friends and were probably always going to hold a special place in each other's lives but it just wouldn't be as each other's significant others. johnny was already starting to retreat from the frat boy lifestyle after meeting a girl at the library one day. and sia had finally met someone who could handle her crazy personality with a sweet smile, bringing her back down to reality whenever she went a little...too lively. you're looking forward to meeting him over summer, where the four of you and your friends were going on a vacation together.

roseanne, yugyeom, and miyeon still haven't put a label on their relationship. but you've caught roseanne falling asleep in yugyeom's arms more than once (one too many times than rosie cares to admit) so you figure that it's a good thing that they've all found each other. as unconventional as their relationship might be, they all mesh together so well that you can't even find it in yourself to question it. all's fair in love and war.

jaehyun and you frequent the diner as a favorite date night spot to visit, although you're upset to hear that they're remodeling the entire establishment for favor of a new, more 'modern' atmosphere. although how modern a diner could get was a little bit of a strange notion. but as people change, so do the winds.

and when you walk into the diner the next semester, hand in hand with jaehyun, you're a little comforted to see that diner is now a speakeasy (in true 1970s fashion) with three words written in blinding rhinestones against the velvet background. of course.

ric flair drip.

[wonustars]

𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖶𝖺𝗒 𝗈𝖿 𝖳𝗁𝖾 𝖧𝗈𝗎𝗌𝖾 𝖧𝗎𝗌𝖻𝖺𝗇𝖽 (Teaser)

𖥔 pairing: kim mingyu x reader 𖥔 wordcount: ~15k+ (this teaser: 599) 𖥔 genre: fake marriage au!, fluff, angst, smut (18+ mdni)

𖥔 reblogs, likes and comments are always appreciated ♡! tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, and they help writers like me to get better reach. thank you!

𖥔 summary: you and mingyu (a former mafia member and also your ex-fiancè's former best friend) are forced into witness protection. All you’ve been told is that you’re meant to act like a happily married couple. Pushed into a cookie cutter house, and a suburban neighbourhood far from the city, where people bring you baked goods on your first day and partake in small talk, it’s all foreign and new. There’s so many things you don’t know about him, but for a man who’s only known violence and all things illegal, he’s somehow the perfect house husband.

𖥔 tags: fake relationship/marriage!au, non-idol!au, mafia!au, afab!reader, norbert is readers cat (more tags when the fic is posted) 𖥔 release date: may 14 or 15, 2024 𖥔 author's note: if i end up posting after the predicted dates plz do not crucify me 🙏 ik a lot of people have been waiting for this one so i'd thought i post a teaser since i have 2-3 chapters left till its finally finished. thank you to all of those who sent in their ideas and to those who've shown so much interest in this story :") i really hope it lives up to your expectations!! see u soonest - anna ♡ !!!!

𖥔 keep reading

The first few days at the new house were uneventful and awkward to say the least.

Mingyu spent the majority of his time doing random housework, he thought that if he had to live here for a year, then he should at least try and make it as “homely" as possible. 

Many of the women in the neighbourhood had deemed Mingyu as their new eye-candy. Despite the fact that he wore his pink shibu inu apron while tending to the garden at the front of the house. They would especially make sure to take multiple laps around the block during their group walks, drooling over his toned muscles as he began to plant an array of flowers on the lawn. 

Mingyu isn’t very observant when it comes to people finding him attractive, believe it or not. He automatically assumes that the wives of Bridgewater just wanted to get to know the new couple that just moved in. 

“What a beautiful garden you have!” one of the wives called out from the sidewalk, her eyes glinting with appeal. 

“Thank you, It’s not done just yet, but I think we’re finally getting somewhere,” Mingyu smiles bashfully. 

“Of course dear. You know if you’re ever free you should come and take a look at my garden,” another lady giggles, her innuendo flying right over Mingyu’s head.

The group of fourty plus year old women all giggle like school girls as they watch his face turn red with flattery. Mingyu scratches the back of his head awkwardly as they bid him good-bye, curious as to what they group of women thought was so funny about him taking a look at their gardens. It’s all just a bunch of flowers isn’t it? 

The sound of your car’s engine brings Mingyu out of his thoughts, his gardening tools forgotten by the piles of dirt he left. You lug Nortbert’s carrier as you walk into the house, acknowledging his presence with a small nod. His pink aprons raises a few questions in your head, but you decide not to comment on it. 

“Oh hey you’re back, is he ok?” Mingyu asks, motioning to the carrier you hold in your hand. 

Halting your steps, your eyes widen as you realize that he’s talking to you, there wasn’t much conversation between the two of you since you’ve moved in. so you found it a little surprising that he’s asking about Norbert, the cat who tends to show lots of aggression towards him. 

“Morning. He’s ok, I just took him for his check up at the vet,” you shrug before entering the house. 

You leave the conversation there. There wasn’t much else to say anyways, and you had a lot of work to get to before the end of the day. If Mingyu feels a little bit ignored by your actions, he doesn’t make it noticeable, going back to working on his garden. 

From across the yard, neither you of Mingyu notice Seungkwan’s looming figure as he and Vernon enjoy the Friday morning sun. He watches the two of you from his porch with a quirked eyebrow. They’re awfully awkward for newly weds, he thinks to himself. 

“Nonie, don’t you think they’re a little weird?” Seungkwan nudges his boyfriend, who’s mumbling to himself while Vernon reads his book. 

Vernon quirks up, moving his headphones a little to hear what his boyfriend has to say, “huh? Sorry I was reading, what’d you say?” 

“Nothing, go back to your book love,” Seungkwan mumbles, his eyes still darting back and forth from your descending figure and Mingyu, his suspicions spiking once more.

[2i1han]

Slowly, Then All at Once

1 : before it all began , slowly

𖹭 pairing: classmate!leehan x fem!reader

𖹭 word count: 8k 𖹭 genre: fluff, a bit angsty, slow-burn (so bear with it), young adult, coming-of-age 𖹭 tags: boynextdoor , non-idol au, high school/college au , first love , neighbor!leehan , extrovert!leehan , cold!leehan , extrovert!reader

𖹭 characters mentioned : kim leehan , kim woonhak , sakai moka , kim minji , han taesan , park minju , jung wooyoung , ham jinsik

𖹭 warnings: no warnings! sfw

𖹭 synopsis : you and leehan have always known each other—classmates since ninth grade, always familiar but never really close due to leehan's indifference. but when his brother enters the picture, and you ending up in the same building as him, everything starts to change. unresolved situation that were once buried begin to surface, and leehan must decide: let go or finally take a chance.

𖹭 important note : i'm using the korean age and education system. here’s a quick guide for those unfamiliar :

korean age system: adds one year at the start of each new year (ex : if your international age is 20, your korean age is 21.)

korean education system: elementary (1st–6th grade) - middle school (7th–9th grade) high school (10th–12th grade) - uni follows after high school.

𖹭 a/n : hi, everyone! this is my first fanfic on tumblr, and i’m still getting used to the platform. this story will be divided into five full parts, so if you enjoy it, i’d really appreciate your support! i’ll be updating regularly, usually every 2 days. enjoy!

♪ playlist : midnight fiction/illit , so let's go see the stars/boynextdoor , serenade/boynextdoor , but i like you/boynextdoor , so tender/say sue me , bad/wte , light/wte , chocolate/bol4 , some/soyou , would you love me/stella jang , everyday/haebin , star drawing/yuziii , apple cider/beabadoobee

middle school

the morning was still young, and the sun had barely risen. the classroom remained dim, the fluorescent bulbs providing the only source of light while the first rays of sunlight had yet to seep in. the room was silent, occupied only by two students minding their own business-and a brunette boy sitting by the window, lost in thought.

"hey! kim leehan!"

a loud, enthusiastic voice called from the doorway, instantly breaking the quiet.

before leehan could even turn to see who it was, a familiar presence loomed over him. his friend was already there, grinning and scratching his head.

"stop it!" leehan chuckled, standing up to pull his friend in for a quick dap.

"it's the first day of your last year as a middle schooler. how does that feel, hyung?"

woonhak, ever the energetic one, nudged leehan's arm before plopping down in the seat beside him, a wide grin on his face.

leehan smirked, leaning back in his chair. "nothing out of the ordinary. school is still school," he said, voice hinting with indifference as he shifted slightly to face woonhak more comfortably.

woonhak let out an exaggerated sigh. "nothing to say about missing me? you'll leave again for high school next year." he rolled his eyes, sulking. "it's just like when i was in fifth grade, and you moved here for middle school."

leehan huffed out a small laugh at his friend's dramatic antics.

they had been best friends since their early years in elementary school. leehan, ten at the time, and woonhak, eight. being two years apart, but that never stood in the way of their friendship. if anything, their differences made them an even better match, with leehan's matured, and calm-extroverted appeal balancing out woonhak's childish and loud aura.

school didn't excite leehan much, not that it did for his friend either. but while kim why would i even need algebra in a performing arts university woonhak, treated school like a never-ending chore, leehan simply went through the flow, doing what was necessary without getting too caught up in it. outside of class, his world was split between two passions: music, and nature.

he spent hours in his room, practicing vocals and perfecting dance moves in front of his mirror, losing himself in the rhythm of the music. whether it was a slow ballad or an intense choreography, he found an escape in the way his body moved to the beat, in the way his voice carried emotion that words alone couldn't. performing gave him a sense of control, a rush of energy that school never did. but when he wasn't singing or dancing, he sought quiet comfort in his other hobbies, raising fish and tending to his plants.

his aquariums, filled with different species, were his personal oasis. he could watch them for hours, mesmerized by the way they glided through the water, unbothered by anything beyond their glass world. his room smelled of greenery, lined with potted plants he carefully nurtured. he liked the balance of it all. music filled him with energy, while his fish and plants gave him peace.

occasionally, he'd swing by woonhak's place to make music together, testing out harmonies or working on choreography late into the night. woonhak, ever the extrovert, always had something new planned, dragging leehan into whatever wild idea he had. not that leehan is the biggest introvert, nor minded, he loved performing just as much. he just didn't show it as openly as woonhak did.

despite his mixed feelings about school, his grades weren't bad. he was smart enough to keep up without trying too hard, unlike woonhak, who barely scraped by with last-minute cramming and a whole lot of luck.

"of course, i'll miss you." leehan sighed, shaking his head. "but the high school I'm going to is just near hongik. i'll visit you after classes. it's not like i'm moving overseas." he rolled his eyes before chuckling. "you're so dramatic."

woonhak let out a whine, slumping onto his desk. "well, can you blame me? this is my first year finally being in the same middle school as you, and it'll also be our last. i barely survived sixth grade without your help in elementary." he pressed his palms against his forehead, as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. "i have to lock in, hyung."

leehan chuckled "yeah, you should. you'll be on your own again next year." he leaned back, arms crossed. "let's just enjoy this one while it lasts, woon. save the worrying for later."

his friend peeked up from his hands, lips tugging into a small smile. "fine. but you better not forget about me when you're off being a cool high schooler."

leehan rolled his eyes again, but there was also brotherly warmth in his eyes. "as if i ever could. also, call me leehan-sunbaenim from now on," he said, completely straight-faced while pretending to look at his phone

woonhak just dramatically turned his head to leehan and let out an aish, throwing him an unimpressed look. leehan, however, burst into laughter, clearly enjoying his friend's reaction.

"that was cringe," woonhak muttered.

"how is calling your senior by a proper title cringe? hey, kim woonhak, where are your manners?" leehan teased in an exaggeratedly authoritative tone, crossing his arms like a disappointed teacher.

woonhak rolled his eyes but is chuckling. "you're still a year away from being a highschooler. i will not obey you."

leehan just rolled his eyes barely able to finish a sentence between chuckles.

they spent the rest of their free time chatting, catching up on summer, mostly woonhak complaining about how fast it ended and leehan roasting him for his questionable choices.

as time ticked on, leehan glanced at the clock and raised a brow. "woonhak, are you seriously still here? your class is in the other building."

his friend just waved off his concern like he was swatting away a fly. "oh, no, it's still early. it's not like the bell's gonna ring any sec-"

ring

the school bell blared through the hallways, as if it heard woonhak talking.

"you've got to be kidding me," he groaned, lazily scrambling to grab his bag.

leehan who's already gasping for air, tapped him on the back. "kim woonhak, good luck today," he teased.

woonhak shot him a glare as he rushed toward the door, waving over his shoulder. "catch you later, peace!"

the minute slipped away like a gust of wind, and before leehan knew it, their teacher was already standing at the front of the classroom.

"good morning, teacher," the students greeted in unison, rising briefly before settling back into their seats.

"good morning, everyone. settle down," the teacher instructed, adjusting his glasses as he placed a stack of papers on his desk. "now, before we begin, i'd like to introduce a new student who will be joining us for the school year."

then, the classroom stirred. students exchanged whispers, some craning their necks to get a better view of the doorway. the air buzzed with curiosity and the murmurs resembled a beehive.

with a subtle glance from the teacher, the new student, you, stepped in. you had a short hair that barely reached your neck, neatly parted to the side, wispy bangs, and pair of round glasses sat comfortably on your tall nose, framing your soft and slightly chubby cheeks. unlike most new students who fidgeted or hesitated, you walked in with an effortless calm.

"hello, everyone! my name is y/n. i'm 15 years old and just moved into the neighborhood down the street. i hope we can all be friends!" you bowed lightly with a voice that's bright and confident. you had a natural ease, as if introducing yourself to a room full of strangers was something you did every day.

a few students nodded approvingly, while others leaned in to whisper among themselves. you can see other students already smiling at you, while others just talked to each other.

meanwhile, the teacher scanned the room for a vacant seat. his eyes landed on leehan and the empty chair beside him. as if you're also following your teacher's vision, you see the quiet boy who seems lost in his own little world.

"you can sit there, next to that boy by the window," he said, gesturing toward leehan's row.

you nodded, and just as you're about to move, a student behind leehan raised a hand.

"sir, han taesan sits there. he's just absent today." and you're stopped to your track, standing there. though, you admit that it felt awkward, at least for yourself.

the teacher paused, nodding in acknowledgment, then began eyeing around the class again. after a brief scan, his gaze landed on a seat in the second row.

"alright, you can take that seat instead."

you nodded again, and made your way to your new spot, and within moments, you had already struck up a conversation with your seatmate, you always had this welcoming demeanor that contrasts the usual stiffness of first-day introductions. even as a kid, your parents would already describe you as a social charmer and a people person. extroverted, but balanced.

the first few periods blurred together in a haze of just few introductions for the start of the school year. the morning sun had crept higher, casting beams of light through the windows, and shining dust particles that swirled in the air. you sat comfortably listening to each hellos and my name is your classmates presented. even though the entire class you're new at already knew each other since the beginning of middle school, the new teachers are still yet to know them, and so do you.

when the bell finally rang for break, students wasted no time swarming out the door, dying to stretch their legs and escape the classroom, and you are no exception.

you had no trouble blending in. you'd already found a group to sit with, chatting easily as they made their way toward the school café.

and just as you're about to leave, your eyes caught sight of leehan, who unlike the rest of the class that had scattered in pairs or groups, remained at his desk. his left elbow rested against the desk supporting his chin, while his right hand moved lazily over a notebook, jotting something like it's straight out of an ancient manuscript with his illegible handwriting.

you admit. leehan's expression was unreadable. as a person who's good with people, scanning through people's thoughts or emotion by their body language is a piece of cake to you, but leehan? he's neither focused nor completely absent, as if his mind is hovered somewhere between a coherent thought or nothingness.

curious, and being the social butterfly ever, you adjusted your glasses and approached him.

"hello, i'm y/n. what's your name?" you said with a wave.

leehan didn't react immediately, and for a second, you thought he'll ignore you. instead, he finished the last stroke of his writing before slowly lifting his gaze. his eyes flickered towards you, scanning your face with little to no recognition, as if you're someone he sees daily.

"leehan. kim leehan," he replied flatly. his voice was low and unamused, giving the smallest head nod. his lips curved into an almost nonexistent smile, one that didn't quite reach his eyes.

the contrast between you and him was almost like seeing black and pastel colors from the point of view of a third person. you, with your bright, welcoming energy, stood opposite leehan, whose presence seemed more like muted, but not completely colorless either.

still, you were unfazed. but you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel a tinge of awkwardness, or maybe even concern.

not everyone you met responded positively to your friendly nature, and that was fine. but something about leehan felt strange. he didn't seem uncomfortable around you, nor did he try to avoid the conversation. yet, at the same time, there wasn't even a hint of enthusiasm in his words and actions. it was as if he existed in a space between acknowledgment and indifference.

"are you not going to grab a snack with a friend? you can sit with us!" you offered in a warm and inviting tone.

leehan barely hesitated before pressing his lips together. "no, i'll be out. thank you," he said in the same monotone, standing up, and nodding his head subtly as he slung his jacket over his shoulders.

without waiting for a response, he walked past you heading toward the door, most likely in search of woonhak.

you just tilted your head slightly looking back at the door watching him go. if you're bothered by his lack of interest, you didn't show it. instead, you just shrugged it off deciding that leehan was probably just the reserved, introverted type.

that thought lingered in your mind for a moment before you went off with a quiet sigh. whatever it was, you figured you'd understand him better with time. with that, you turned away and made your way toward the café, where your new friends were waiting.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

"class dismissed."

and just like that, the first day of classes in your new school comes to an end. the ring of the bell echoes through the hallways, and the classroom instantly bursts into motion. students scrambling to shove books into their bags, some reapplying makeup, others fixing their hair, and chatting away about everything and nothing.

you stand from your seat, adjusting the strap of your bag as you turn to face minji, your newly made friend. "where are you headed after class?" you ask, casually stuffing your things inside your bag.

minji, in the middle of combing her sleek black hair, tilts her head in thought. "hmm, i don't know. ask moka. i'll just tag along wherever you guys go."

moka, seated beside you, stops fussing with her hair long enough to glance up. "it's only 4:40 pm. how about karaoke?" she suggests.

you nod in agreement, and minji hums in approval. "okay, well then, hurry your butts up," moka adds, snapping her compact mirror shut.

you lean toward the small mirror in her hand giving yourself a quick once-over. with just a simple tuck of your hair behind your ears, a few pats to settle your bangs into place, and a slight nudge to adjust your thick-framed glasses, you're good to go.

"alright, done. let's go?" moka asks, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

you and minji nod in sync, stepping out into the busy hallway. but just as you're about to walk away, your gaze drifts back into the classroom, landing on the seat across the room.

leehan is still there, quietly packing up. alone.

there's something about him that makes you hesitate. it's not pity, not exactly. you've always had this habit of noticing people who seem isolated, of wanting to make them feel included. but over time, you hated it. you've realized that not everyone who sits alone is lonely. and not everyone who is quiet is sad.

still, the thought didn't stop you as you take a step forward, considering approaching him-

"kim leehan, work your slowass up, we got a gig to waaaaatch!"

a voice booms through the doorway like a bomb being dropped, so loud it cuts through the noise of the corridor crowd. you nearly jump at the volume. turning your head, you see a boy bolting into the classroom, all energy and mischief.

leehan looks up at the source of the noise. he saw you standing on the doorframe, and woonhak approaching him. but his whole attention seemed to be only towards his friend. and that's when you see it— his entire demeanor shifts. his lips curve into a genuine smile, his eyes scrunching up with amusement as he watches woonhak walk towards his desk.

the sight catches you off guard.

that smile, it's real, and bright, almost like there's a light shining behind him.

you realize then that leehan isn't some tragic, brooding loner. he's not an outcast, not sad, not lost. he has a friend. a good one, by the looks of it.

a quiet chuckle escapes you as you shake your head, cringing at your own assumptions.

i misinterpreted people again, you think, making a mental note to quit assuming stories to strangers before actually knowing them.

with that, you turn back to moka and minji, linking arms with them as the three of you make your way down the hallway.

as leehan and woonhak followed towards the door and to the hallway, the latter nudged him with a mischievous grin. "so, how was your day?"

leehan exhaled through his nose. "it was fine. there's a new student."

"ooooh." woonhak's eyes lit up. "is it a girl?"

leehan gave him a look and chuckled. "why is your first instinct always to ask if it's a girl?"

"because that's the important part, duh," woonhak shot back. "so? spill."

leehan sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "yeah, it's a girl. she's... nice, but weird."

woonhak practically bounced in excitement. "weird how? like, quirky weird or talks-to-ghosts weird?"

leehan squinted in thought. "more like... i'm the weird one. i kind of left her hanging when she tried to talk to me. i felt bad but, i just can't."

"oh? that's not a classic kim leehan behavior. you're pretty friendly."

"and my hands went cold. it was like i was getting an illness." he flexed his fingers in mild concern.

woonhak stopped in his tracks. "hyung," he pointed an accusing finger. "are you sure you don't like her?"

leehan let out a dry laugh. "nonsense, that's ridiculous. i just don't wanna talk to her kinda."

"right, right," woonhak smirked, but his mischievous grin stayed.

"enough of that," leehan grumbled, picking up his pace. "let's just go."

woonhak, of course, didn't let it go. he kept teasing, making dramatic heart gestures and batting his eyelashes.

"shut up before i leave you behind."

"say it with feeling, hyung. your voice is shaking~"

leehan rolled his eyes but couldn't hide the amused grin tugging at his lips. woonhak was insufferable, but at least he made the day less dull.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝

now walking down the busy streets of hongdae, just a few minutes from your school, the scent of street food and the buzz of students unwinding after classes fill the air. the neon lights flicker even though the sun hasn't fully set yet, giving the streets that signature youthful energy.

as you walk, you turn to moka, who's sandwiched between you and minji, and ask, "moka, is leehan really that introverted?"

both of your friends glance at you at the same time, puzzled.

"kim leehan? the leehan from our class?" moka asks, raising an eyebrow.

you nod. "yeah, he barely spoke. he just seemed cold."

moka and minji exchange a knowing look before minji giggles. "cold? leehan? are we talking about the same guy? he's pretty social, y'know."

moka nods in agreement. "yeah, i mean, he's not the most talkative person ever, but he interacts well. he's fairly outgoing. everyone likes and knows him."

"not to mention he's good-looking and talented too," minji adds with a cheeky grin.

moka gasps dramatically, shoving minji's shoulder. "oh? not as handsome as taesan though, right?" she said with a teasing smirk on her face.

minji's ears turn bright red, and she immediately hissed in annoyance "ah, this is about leehan! can you stop?"

the two of them burst into laughter, teasing each other while you zone out, lost in thought.

good-looking? you never really thought about it. leehan just seemed strange. but what's even stranger is hearing that he's supposedly social.

"but he barely interacted with anyone," you point out. "aside from his friend earlier."

"oh yeah, that loud guy. what was his name again?" moka snaps her fingers, trying to recall.

"woonhak, seventh grader." minji supplies. "they're close, huh?"

"how do you even know that? well, anyways" moka shrugs. "i noticed that too. maybe leehan just wasn't in the mood today. it happens. you know, some days you just wanna shut the world out and listen to sad music while staring dramatically out the window."

you scoff. "that's... oddly specific."

minji laughs. "she's speaking from experience."

"ya!" moka glares playfully. "i'm just saying, don't take it personally. give him time. he's nice."

their words settle in your mind, giving you a bit more confidence. they knew leehan longer than you do. maybe he didn't dislike you for no reason. maybe it really was just a bad day.

as you reach the karaoke bar, the bright led lights reflect off your glasses, and moka swings open the door. the entire evening had been fun with your new friends. although, you miss your old friends back in busan, you're still keeping in touch with them all while establishing new relationships.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝

as soon as you got back to your brother's apartment where you're living. the familiar aroma of spicy ramyeon fills the air, instantly making your stomach grumble. your brother, wooyoung, is at the stove, stirring the noodles in the bubbling pot.

"you're finally home," he says, not even turning around. "it's already 7 pm. how was the first day?"

tossing your bag onto the sofa across the room, you plop down onto a dining chair and immediately reach for the cookie jar, popping one into your mouth. "it was great me and my friends went to karaoke after classes, so i got home a bit late."

wooyoung lets out an amused "ohh," lifting the pot to pour the steaming noodles into a large bowl at the center of the table. "karaoke, huh? and you didn't bother to tell me you'd be late?"

you roll your eyes, still munching. "i messaged you. you didn't answer."

wooyoung pauses, then shrugs. "oh, yeah. i was at the studio all day. just got home like, thirty minutes before you." he grabs his phone from the counter, flips it over, and sees the unread notification. "ah, whoops. my bad. haven't checked my phone."

"figured," you say, watching as he sets the table, placing down the kimchi and chopsticks before settling into the chair across from you.

then, suddenly, his face shifts into amusement. "wait, friends?"

you sigh, already regretting bringing it up. "mhm, friends from my new school," you say, trying to sound as casual as possible.

wooyoung leans forward, resting his chin on his hand like he's about to hear the most exciting gossip of his life. "and here i thought you'd spend the first month brooding in the corner."

you groan. "why do you act like i'm some kind of hermit? i do talk to people, you know."

"mhm, am i surprised, though? you've always been good at making friends. mom used to brag about how easygoing you are," wooyoung says, setting his bowl of ramyeon in front of you.

you smirk at the mention of your mom. "you're louder than me. why would she even brag about that?"

"mhm, and not just louder. i'm also cooler," he says, smoldering.

you rolled your eyes, and scoffed "right. 'cooler.'"

"glad we agree." he grins, then leans forward slightly, sneering "so... any special friends?"

you swerved a chopstick at him. "stop."

he laughs, dodging it. you sigh, knowing full well he won't let it go. "alright, alright," he says, finally getting serious. "so, what's the deal? someone already giving you a hard time?"

you hesitate. if you tell him, he's not going to leave you alone for the next thirty minutes straight. but the thought is already out in the open, and now he's just waiting for a word, watching you expectantly.

you twirl your noodles around your chopsticks, avoiding eye contact. "not really. it's just, there's this guy in my class. i tried talking to him today, and he was just, i don't know. cold? kinda distant."

wooyoung pauses mid-bite, then slowly sets his chopsticks down, his grin creeping back. "oh, he likes you."

you nearly choke on your food hearing that. "that's stupid."

"classic," he says, shaking his head. "a guy being cold to you? that's just a poorly disguised crush."

you scrunched your nose and cringed, squinting at him. "that's the worst logic i've ever heard. is that how you're supposed to act around the person you like? sounds pretty dumb to me."

wooyoung waggles his finger. "ah, you still have much to learn. sometimes, guys get all awkward when they like someone. you know, trying to play it cool and mysterious."

you make a face, just proceeding to slurp on the ramen. "right, and that's why you're single."

wooyoung gasps dramatically, clutching his pearls. "wow, that hurts."

you roll your eyes, and he finally drops the teasing, getting serious. "but honestly, maybe he's just not in the mood. or maybe he's not a super social guy. it's literally the first day. give it at least a week. or a month, even."

you think back to what moka and minji said, and now your brother too. maybe you really were just overthinking it.

"yeah... you're probably right," you admit, taking another bite.

"of course i am," he says, smug. "older sibling wisdom."

"you literally just told me some fake dating psychology."

"hey, it works for some people," he says, laughing.

you shake your head, but you're smiling now, too.

as you finish up dinner, the conversation drifts to other things— his work at the studio, how living in seoul is going so far, and what ridiculous thing he plans to waste money on next. (apparently, it's a limited-edition plushie he claims is an investment.)

you're now in your bed, freshly showered, hair still slightly damp against your pillow. staring at the ceiling, you replay the day in your head- you having fun with your new friends, the laughter at karaoke, and the small, nagging thought of leehan's. you just don't know why you wanted to be friends with him so bad. the day had felt both so long and short. sighing, you turn onto your side, reaching for the lamp beside you, and clicking it off.

the next few weeks and months follow the same routine. you've settled into your new school, growing comfortable with your routine. minji and moka have become your closest friends, the kind you can joke around with, text random topics to in ungodly hours, and count on to save you a seat during lunch. you've even managed to branch out a bit, making casual friends in other classes, effortlessly slipping into conversations and forming easy connections.

but the case with leehan? still the same. frozen.

you're still stuck in the same frustrating loop of forced interactions, half-hearted conversations, and long silences. you've been paired up with him for projects multiple times, and each time, it's a painfully dull experience. he never speaks unless spoken to, and even then, his responses are as dry as toast-short, flat, and uninteresting. if he ever does talk, it's out of necessity, like asking how to blend a color for an art project (since, unlike you, he's not exactly gifted in that league). and that's it. no banter, no effort to make things less awkward. it's not like you expect him to be a chatterbox, but come on, a little effort wouldn't kill him.

"hey, what do you think about adding some shadows here?" you ask during one of your art projects, pointing at a part of the sketch.

he shrugs. "looks fine."

you stare at him, waiting for more. anything more. but he just keeps painting, completely unbothered.

"okay, well... do you think we should use blue or purple for the background?"

"blue," he says simply, not even looking up.

he isn't rude, but not nice either. you sigh, dragging your brush across the palette. working with leehan is like texting someone who only replies with k. It's frustrating, and more than that, awkward.

it's not just during projects, either. whenever it's just the two of you left in the classroom, the silence is so heavy it feels like an actual thing, pressing against you, urging you to break it. and when you do, when you attempt small talk, ask about his hobbies, his music taste, just anything to spark a conversation, you always get the same dead responses.

"you know, i have a brother, and we liked watching basketball together. do you like any sports?"

"no."

"mhm, i see. well, do you have any pets? i have a pet goldfish in our house."

"yes."

"really? what is it?"

"the same. fish."

"what type of fish?"

"corydoras,"

at least he's honest, you cope.

that's how every conversation goes. it's like he's allergic to words longer than three syllables. and at first, you think, okay, maybe he's just like this with everyone. maybe he's one of those people who just doesn't like talking.

but you see stuffs, like how he laughs when he's with other people. how he's actually talking, laughing, contributing more than just a robotic "okay." he's not this indifferent with them. just with you.

and that's when it really starts to sink in.

it's not that leehan is quiet, or shy, or socially awkward.

he just does NOT want to talk to you.

that realization hits harder than you'd like to admit. you try to brush it off, tell yourself that not everyone has to like you, that it's fine, really. but the more you see him laughing with others, joking around, talking normally, the harder it becomes to ignore.

it's not that he struggles to make friends. he's just choosing not to be friends with you. and that affected you. not because it's leehan. it's because you had thing about being left hanging.

still, over time, you learn to accept it. some people just don't click, and leehan is clearly one of them. it's not like you need his approval. you have minji, moka, and a handful of other friends.

so you stop trying. stop initiating conversations. stop going out of your way to talk to him. and for a while, that worked.

then, something shifts

it's subtle at first, so subtle that you don't even notice it. but then minji nudges you during lunch, her voice dropping to a whisper

"hey," she says, leaning in. "i think leehan's staring at you."

you snort, not even bothering to look up. "yeah, right."

"no, really. he's been looking over here for, like, a solid minute."

you roll your eyes, but curiosity gets the better of you. when you glance up, leehan's gaze flicks away so fast it's almost unnoticeable.

you think about it for a second but ultimately shrug it off. it's not like it changes anything. he still doesn't talk to you. ye still keeps his distance. and you certainly aren't going to waste energy trying to break through his icy exterior again.

but you start to notice things, like how he stiffens whenever you walk past, his posture going unnaturally rigid. how he deliberately avoids eye contact, like meeting seeing your eyes might physically kill him. how, no matter what, he always seems aware of where you are in the room, never too close, but never completely out of reach.

it's weird. and, honestly, you're starting to think that maybe he just really hates you that much.

minji and moka notice it too.

"i swear, leehan is straight-up ignoring you," moka mutters one afternoon, barely paying attention to the notes she's supposed to be copying. "it's like you don't even exist to him."

you sigh, tapping your pen against your notebook. "whatever. it's not like it matters. as long as he cooperates when we have to work together, i couldn't care less."

minji hums thoughtfully. "or maybe... he likes you?"

you blink. "what?"

minji nods, looking more convinced by the second. "think about it, he's only like this with you. everyone else gets normal responses, but with you, it's like he forgets that he's a human being."

you stare at her, then at moka, waiting for her to back you up. but instead, she tilts her head, considering.

"actually... i don't think so." she suddenly snaps her fingers. "ah! remember park minju? that pretty girl from the next class?"

you frown. "what about her?"

"well, leehan had the biggest crush on her back in eighth grade. and when I say biggest, i mean biggest. he was, like, ridiculously obvious about it. everyone knew."

minji's eyes widen. "oh my god, you're right. he was so dramatic about it."

the two of them burst into laughter while you sit there, entirely unimpressed.

"wow," you deadpan. "so, basically, leehan just really, really doesn't like me."

moka smirks. "yeah, to the point where it's almost impressive. like, what did you do to him in a past life? he avoids you like a virus."

minji swats her playfully, but you just shake your head. "but yeah, if he likes you he'll be obvious about it."

confirmed. leehan hates your guts, for god knows what reason.

and with that, you decide you're done thinking about him. if he wants to pretend you don't exist, then fine.

the next few months, you ignored leehan completely. and, of course, he noticed.

at first, he didn't seem to mind, or at least, he pretended not to. but it didn't take long for moka and minji to catch on. from across the room, they could see it, the way leehan would glance at you when he thought no one was looking, his expression unreadable.

and then there were the times when you two ended up in the same group for another never-ending project. you would talk to everyone except him. it wasn't that you were mean about it, you were perfectly civil, but you just didn't acknowledge his presence. no eye contact. no small talk. nothing.

but leehan wasn't stupid. he could tell the difference between indifference and avoidance.

at some point, it must've started bothering him too, because moka and minji began whispering to each other every time they caught him hesitating, fidgeting like he was debating whether or not to approach you.

and, he almost did.

it was homeroom, and the teacher hadn't shown up. the class was in full chaos-desks rearranged, chairs turned backwards, students perched on tables, chatting and laughing. you sat comfortably in your usual spot with moka, sipping on jelly, while minji sat comfortably on moka's desk, the three of you bantering about something completely ridiculous.

you felt a presence behind you.

moka stopped mid-sentence, her eyes flickering up. minji did the same. then, she discreetly nudged your knee under the desk, her silent way of saying look behind you.

you turned your head slightly, just enough to catch a glimpse of leehan standing there.

your posture straightened instinctively, but you kept your expression neutral as you turned fully to face him.

his hands fidgeted at his sides, his lips parted slightly like he was rehearsing his words in his head. swallowing hard before speaking

"y/n, i just wanted to say tha-"

"HELLO, Y/N!"

a voice suddenly interrupted, cutting straight through the moment.

you blinked, turning your attention to the source, ham jinsik.

jinsik was, by all definitions, the classic popular guy. tall for his age, charming, effortlessly good-looking. he was the type of guy who never seemed to take anything too seriously, which was probably why he was grinning at you like he'd just won the lottery.

as leehan shifted, glancing over his shoulder, your eyes flicked from jinsik back to him, just in time to catch the way his expression dropped, just for a split second before he quickly looked away. retreating before he could even finish his sentence.

but before you could say anything, jinsik was already speaking.

"jinsik, hi! what's up?" you smiled, brushing aside the awkwardness of the moment.

behind you, moka and minji were losing their minds. they weren't even trying to be subtle, nudging each other aggressively while failing to hold back their giggles.

jinsik flashed you a sheepish grin. "i was wondering if you're free later? i mean..." he rubbed the back of his neck. "we're in the same group, right? and, uh, i could really use some help with the topic we're working on."

moka and minji's snickering worsened "sure, help".

you shot them a quick glare, swatting their knees in warning before nodding at the boy in front of you "of course, i'm down."

jinsik visibly relaxed, a small little yes slipping past his lips before he cleared his throat and tried to play it cool. "great! we can walk together after class. don't worry, i won't keep you out too late."

you laughed lightly. "alright."

as jinsik walked back to his group, who immediately started hyping him up, you finally turned back toward your own friends, rolling your eyes at moka and minji's exaggerated expressions.

but then you remembered.

leehan

you glanced back at him, half-expecting him to be looking in your direction, but he wasn't. he was sitting at his desk, chatting with the student in front of him like nothing had happened.

you exhaled, excused yourself, and walked toward his desk. "hey." you stopped beside him. "sorry about earlier. you were saying?"

leehan turned to you, blankly

whatever light that had been on his face while talking to his classmate disappeared, replaced by something colder. his lips pressed into a thin line, his shoulders tensing slightly.

"i forgot," he said flatly.

you blinked. "oh, okay then."

you didn't want to waste energy overthinking it, so you just hummed, nodded, and walked back to your seat.

what you didn't see, however, was leehan's gaze following you. nor did you notice the way his eyes flickered toward jinsik, his jaw tightening slightly, fingers clenching into a fist on his desk.

just like that, the days blurred together, and everything fell back into the usual routine.

middle school came to an end faster than you expected.

one moment, you were stressing over exams, avoiding unnecessary drama, and pretending not to notice the way leehan had stopped trying to talk to you. and the next? you were standing in a packed auditorium, surrounded by classmates who were buzzing with excitement and nerves.

the school hall was chaotic, students darting between friends, taking photos, and exchanging yearbooks filled with scribbled messages they'd probably cringe at in a few years. the air smelled like fresh paper, perfume, and faint traces of cafeteria food.

you were standing with moka and minji near the entrance, your neat uniform geeling slightly too tight but strangely comforting.

"so... where are you guys going for high school?" minji suddenly asked, fiddling with the hem of her blazer that she only wore properly today.

"seoul high school," you answered, adjusting your ribbon. "it's nearer to my place."

moka gasped dramatically, clutching your arm. "no way! that's where i'm going too!"

minji's eyes widened before she broke into a grin. "me too! do you think we'll end up in the same classes again?"

"i don't know,"you chuckled, feeling lighter than you had in months. "but at least we'll be at the same school. that's what matters."

moka sighed in relief. "good. i don't think i can handle high school alone."

"you? alone?" minji snorted. "you'd make friends in five minutes."

"that's not the point! you guys are my friends."

your heart warmed at that. as much as you teased each other, you knew moka meant it. and truthfully, so did you.

before you could respond, the speakers crackled to on, signaling the start of the ceremony. the noise in the hall gradually died down as students shuffled toward their assigned seats.

you exhaled, turning back to moka and minji with a smile. "i'll catch you guys around there."

and as you took your seat, listening to the opening speech, everything suddenly felt light. you glanced around the room, taking it all in.

you caught glimpses of familiar faces, some you'd just known this year, and some you barely spoke to but still felt a sense of connection with.

and then there was leehan.

he was a few rows ahead, sitting with his group of friends. he laughed at something one of them said, his usual easygoing smile in place. you preferred him like that, a human.

he didn't look in your direction.

you weren't sure if that was a good thing or not. but you pushed the thought aside. today wasn't about old tensions or unanswered what-ifs. it was about new beginnings. and, you'll leave hongik to a new school, a fresh start, and the comfort of knowing moka and minji would be there with you without leehan's heavy and contagious aura creeping around the corner.

because really, what were the odds that he would end up at the same high school as you?

at least, that's what you thought when 10th grade began.

seoul high school

you arrived at your new classroom earlier than most students, enjoying the quiet hum of the morning. the sun and streamed through the windows, reflecting soft lights against the wooden desks. the wind gusted from the open pane and slightly blew your now slightly longer hair that reached your shoulder. everything felt light and promising. as usual, you struck up conversations with a few early classmates, effortlessly easing into small talk. it was a good day. nothing could ruin it.

or so you thought.

because then, out of the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of someone standing at the doorway. and with how the room temperature suddenly dropped, you already knew.

kim leehan.

no way.

yes, kim leehan.

his hair was a lighter shade of brown now, and he'd grown taller, noticeably so. a lot can change in a year, but somehow, he hadn't. you found yourself staring at him, completely unaware that your gaze was practically burning a hole through his forehead already.

and yet, leehan barely reacted.

he met your eyes in a blink, nodding slightly before walking past you. bot a single change in expression. no surprise. no recognition beyond what seemed like just common courtesy.

and, of course, he settled into a seat at the very back of the classroom. a mile away from you. predictable.

your shoulders tensed as you quickly looked away, patting your hair into place as if that would somehow steady your thoughts.

"what the hell is he doing here?" you hissed under your breath.

a million possibilities ran through your mind. had he always planned to come to seoul high? did he know you'd be here? or was this some dumb fate?

it didn't matter.

you hesitated for a second. maybe this time would be different? maybe he'd actually talk to you? but the way he acted, or rather, his complete lack of one was all too familiar. it's still the same stern leehan from middle school, at least when it came to you.

you swallowed back whatever words had formed in your throat, pushing away the disappointment, and turned back to your desk.

you don't know what it is with you desperately wanting to figure leehan out, maybe because you're still left hanging without knowing why.

the classroom had started filling up, students pouring in with laughter and chatter, and you forced yourself to join in.

the girl sitting next to you introduced herself, and you made an effort to be friendly, though it didn't come as naturally as it did with moka and minji. speaking of them, they were five classrooms away down the hall, which meant you'd be sitting through long, exhausting classes alone, at least for now.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟  𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

"WHAT?!"

moka's shriek echoed through the cafeteria, loud enough to make half the students turn in your direction.

panicked, you lunged forward, clamping a hand over her mouth. "shut up," you hissed, glancing around as a few nosy students tried to eavesdrop.

moka peeled your hand off, her eyes still wide with pure disbelief. she leaned in, this time whispering harshly. "what?!"

you sighed, rubbing your temple. "yeah, he's in my class."

moka blinked at you, then at the ceiling, as if trying to process some kind of divine punishment. "no freaking way. out of all the high schools in seoul, and out of all the students... kim leehan?!" she shook her head. "that's terrifying."

"i know." you exhaled dramatically, slumping onto the table. "i didn't expect him to be here either."

moka crossed her arms. "and you're telling me we got separated, but you got stuck with him? this is the worst trade deal in history."

before you could respond, minji arrived, setting her tray of food down. "what are you guys talking about?"

moka wasted no time. "leehan is in y/n's class."

minji blinked. then-

"WHAT?!"

you and moka immediately reached over, swatting at her arms. "hey, shut up!" you whispered aggressively.

minji lowered her voice, but her eyes were just as wide. "wait, deadass? is this real?"

you sighed and nodded.

she hummed in thought. "ah, that explains it. i thought i saw a familiar back earlier, but i figured i was just hallucinating." she stabbed her food with a fork. "turns out, my nightmares are real."

moka shook her head in disbelief. "i mean, him being in the same high school? fine. but in the same class as y/n? that's like a match made in hell."

"a horror movie in the making," minji added.

"that time severus snape reincarnated as my classmate." moka laughed, as minji was enjoying it too. you rolled your eyes, reaching over to steal a chip from your friend's tray. "ha ha funny. let's not talk about it." but you admit, that was actually funny.

"we are talking about it," minji said, smacking your hand away from her chips. "how is he?"

you made a face. "what do you mean, how is he? he's the same leehan. acts like i carry the plague."

minji let out a long, unimpressed sigh. "figures."

"ugh, boooring." moka leaned back in her chair.

they both waved off the topic like it was a failed drama plot twist, swiftly moving on to minji's latest tragic news: taesan transferring to another school. minji whined about it for ten minutes straight while moka wordlessly devoured half her tray of food.

for a moment, you let yourself relax. laughing at their gossips, listening to minji's endless whining, watching moka inhale her meal like it was her last. everything felt normal.

then the bell rang, and just like that, it was back to reality.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

the days blurred into a familiar cycle: class, break time, dismissal, repeat. you sat through lectures, quietly counting the minutes until you could meet up with minji and moka.

and leehan still existed like some kind of background npc with an unskippable quest. he sat at the farthest corner of the room, never spoke to you, never looked at you, never acknowledged you unless absolutely necessary. his coldness was almost unreal at this point. good ol' days

it was still bothering you at first. the way he moved through the world like you were invisible. the way he nodded politely to everyone else but barely glanced in your direction.

then, you just stopped caring, like, for real this time.

you weren't enemies. you weren't friends. just civil. yet, you made little to no efforts to ask leehan what's wrong. maybe that was your mistake.

somewhere along the way, the irritation faded into indifference. the tension between you two solidified into an invisible wall neither of you had any intention of breaking.

this went on until the end of 12th grade.

to be continued ..

[opiopal]

yall wanna know something I think abt a lot? teenage/ little sibling mc au's. Mc gets brought down to the devildom at like 15-16 yr, obviously there is zero romance and instead they just get kinned as the 8th sibling in the HOL.

you guys wanna know what else I think of a lot? little sibling Mc being an agent of chaos when their found family trope isnt paying attention.

I can't help but imagine that once mc is kinned they get crazy spoiled. not spoiled rotten but they know they can get away with a LOT because they're now seen as the cute youngest that doesnt know any better. but obviously they do since they are a teenager who knows how the world works.

and I mention the agent of chaos thing is because they were already attending highschool before hand, so they quickly notice how highschoolish RAD feels, so they were able to jump into the social ring a lot faster then regular Mc. and thus have the ability to get information from people who trust them/like them. so it ends up being useful to them. and now to my leading point: imagine a sort of friendship with Mephisto. its really more like, a symbiotic relationship. they are around each other for a reason. and that reason is RADs newpaper club.

it first started out with Mc staying after at RAD with lucifer to help with a few things, eventually Mc was put in a random room to hang out in after they did all that they could. which turned out to be the room for the newspaper club. after a while they get bored because their D.D.D died and they snagged a paper that was meant for the next day. eventually Mephisto enters the room, goes to tell them to leave which quickly they say "Dia told me I can be in here, if you have a problem with what the lord wants you could always go tell him that!" which shut him up fast. a good couple of minutes go by before the silence is broken by Mc speaking up and going, "You know, this is kinda boring." offended, he whips around, "excuse me?"

"theres nothing interesting here. interviews.. talking about things that everyone already knows about.. like, I could google half this junk." "I- well what would you know!?" "a lot actually. you dont appeal to any of the students here."

he glares for second before inhaling slowly, remembering that diavolo might be nearby.

"oh yeah? as if you could do better." "I could actually," "well i would love to hear it then."

he says sarcastically. though Mc speaks anyways.

mc adjusts how they were sitting and scans over the paper for a second.

"a gossip section would do it good." "what?" "come on dude, its non-sports club 101, if you want people to pay attention to you, you need to appeal to them. I was in theater for a while and we'd bribe people with free food if they sat through the whole show. this place loves drama. and lucifer being drawn riding on a unicorn isn't funny enough to get more then one person to buy it."

slowly they start talking a bit more casually and stop being so hostile. eventually Mc says that they could tell him the gossip they hear if he wants to make a part in the paper for said gossip. so, from then on they slip notes to him about student drama. which does indeed get more papers told!

though one day, someone pisses Mc off. not really that they were the one insulted, but they heard a few demons talking shit about their older brothers. so for the next week Mc takes a good amount of notes on those demons. which eventually they go to Mephisto with their notes and gave them to him. when he questions why these particular demons, he's met with a very angry "if those cunts want to talk shit and not mind their business then why shouldn't their own business get talked about." for a moment he wants to press further... but unfortunately for him he found himself actually caring about this human very much so he couldn't help but just want to make them feel better... and this much of a consititant story would draw people in so its totally not that he kinned this kid as well, totally!! so for about two weeks the gossip section has an ongoing story that causes nearly the whole school to get a paper to stay updated.

of course every bit of gossip uses code names to keep people from being outed on anything. and honestly some of the gossip might end up being people bringing it to the newspaper club themselves, so maybe a small confessions page ends up being opened.

obviously this is something a little cracked, and just a not very thought out thing that exists bc it makes me giggle when I'm daydreaming before I fall asleep<3 and honestly I wouldn't be surprised if there was already a gossip section in the school papers, but unfortunately I was never ever able to make it past the first few lessons of session 2 of obey me, which sucks:/

[candycandy00]

Character:Hawks

AU setting:Gothic Mansion

Spice Level:NSFW

Mood:Light

Kinks:Breeding, Bondage, Choking

~🦄

The Chase - A Hawks x Reader Fanfic

Smut. 18+. AU. Hawks as a vampire. Fem Reader. Bondage. Choking. Creampie. Vampire-related blood/biting. 

My first time writing Hawks! I hope it turned out okay! Any feedback would be adored! Divider by @benkeibear.

When you first met Keigo at the cafe, the location you both agreed upon after talking on a dating app for almost a week, you were surprised. He certainly didn’t look 5’11. But height was never really important to you, so you didn’t mind. He was hotter than his pictures led you to believe, with a bright smile and an easy going attitude that appealed to you. 

When you asked him what he did for a living, he’d only said, “A little bit of everything over the years.”

He was only what, twenty-five? How many different jobs could he have had? But you dismissed it as a joke. You noticed he didn’t eat much, mostly just poking at his food or sliding it around on his plate. It almost felt like he was trying to make it look like he was eating. But his laugh was infectious, and he had plenty of funny stories to tell about traveling to different countries. You wondered how he found the time for all of that. 

At the end of the date, he took you home. You stood in front of your door, hoping he would kiss you, but he didn’t so much as pat you on the back. 

You went on a couple more dates after that, always at night. You joked that you were worried you’d never get to see him in daylight, and he’d laughed heartily. “What? You think I’m a vampire or something?”

“Maybe you are,” you said, giggling. 

He tilted his head, strands of dark blonde hair sliding over one eye as he said, “Maybe I am.”

There was a heat to his gaze as he said it, making goosebumps appear along your arms. And for the briefest of moments, you felt the most powerful urge to flee. You ignored such an irrational feeling. Keigo had been nothing but a gentleman, and in all honesty you were looking forward to him not being one anymore. 

On the fourth date, he asked if you’d like to come to his place for drinks. When you agreed, he said, “I’ll warn you, my house is pretty big. Been in my family for generations. Just don’t be freaked out.”

Now, as you sit in the passenger side of his cherry red convertible on your way to his place for the first time, you wonder how you could possibly be freaked out over a house. 

Until he pulls into the driveway. 

“Is that a fucking castle?!” you blurt out. 

The paved driveway, leading past an ornate, open gate, heads straight to a beautiful looming castle. It looks like something from a movie, probably about Dracula. The stone structure is huge, with literal towers! And though it looks like it was built in the Middle Ages, there are modern flourishes.

All the doors and windows appear to be new, and a lavish standalone garage sits nearby. The lighting is extraordinary, with beautiful colors being beamed at the castle from all directions. Without that, pulling up to this place at night would have been terrifying. 

Keigo laughs beside you. “Yep, it’s a castle.”

You turn to look at him. “Do you live here all by yourself?”

“I have a staff of people helping me run the place, but they all went home for the weekend.”

“Oh,” you say, realizing the two of you will be alone in this enormous building. A weird little thought crosses your mind, that you could get lost in this place, or that he could easily trap you here. You dismiss it, because so far Keigo has been really sweet. You don’t understand why you keep subconsciously thinking of him as a predator. 

And besides, you’re insanely attracted to him. You don’t think you’d mind him chasing you through this castle and fucking you against a wall. In fact you’re a little disappointed that he hasn’t made any moves on you. He hasn’t even touched you yet. 

“I didn’t realize you were rich,” you tell him as the two of you walk up to the door. He hasn’t even put his arm around you. Is he shy? Or just trying to be respectful? 

“I don’t like to advertise it on dating sites. I don’t need a bunch of young girls looking for a sugar daddy,” he replies, an easy smile on his face. 

That makes sense, though with his good looks, you doubt any women who approach him would be interested only in his money. 

Once inside, you find the interior is just as fancy as the exterior. It looks like the sort of house you would imagine royalty living in. High ceilings, plush carpets in some rooms with delicate tile work in others, rich furnishings in mahogany and gold, expensive paintings on the walls, a roaring fireplace big enough for at least three Santa’s to comfortably stand in. And again the mixture of antique and modern, ancient looking vases and art pieces beside a state of the art entertainment system. 

You look around in awe as he leads you down a hallway, through two different short corridors, and across a huge dining room to reach a kitchen. It’s the most modern room you’ve seen so far, brightly lit with beautiful marble countertops and all the best in appliances. 

The thought you had earlier returns to you as Keigo pops open a bottle of champagne - that you could get lost in this massive castle. You try to remember the exact turns the two of you took to reach this room, what the halls looked like as you walked through them. Could you quickly run back to the front entrance if you need to? 

Wait, why would you need to? Why do you keep imagining scenarios like that? 

Keigo is chatty and friendly as usual as he pours champagne into two crystal glasses and sits them both on the counter near you, subtly allowing you to choose the glass you want. He’s telling you about his great great great grandfather, also named Keigo, who lived here so long ago. 

“He was a weird old hermit, or so I’ve been told,” he says. “Spent years hiding out in this castle, letting the neighbors think whatever they wanted. It caused a lot of crazy rumors to spread about him.”

You sip your drink as you nod along. “What kind of rumors?” you ask. 

Keigo gives you that look again, the one that seems to be full of desire, and something else you can’t quite identify. The one that simultaneously makes you want to mount him and run away from him in terror. “That he was a vampire.”

You laugh. “People were so superstitious back then!” But in truth, you just felt an inexplicable chill run down your spine. 

Just then you notice that, while Keigo is holding the other glass in his hand, he’s never taken a sip. It’s a little suspicious, but maybe he’s just a light drinker, or he’s being careful since he has to drive you home later. Nothing to worry about, right? So why are alarm bells ringing in your mind?

And why does that excite you?

He sits the glass on the counter and steps a bit closer to you. There’s nothing explicitly threatening about the motion, but you find yourself drawing in a sharp breath. He stops when he’s close enough to touch you if he wants. Why won’t he touch you? His hands are so close. His body is so close! You imagine him bending you over his fancy countertops and fucking you right here in his pristine kitchen. 

“What about you?” he asks, snapping you back to reality. “Are you superstitious?”

You take another sip and try to project nonchalance. “Not at all. I don’t believe in monsters.”

He tilts his head again in that way that drives you mad. “You should. We’re definitely real.”

Huh? ‘We’? You laugh, almost touching his arm playfully but stopping yourself. “You’re really funny, Keigo.”

He smiles at you, that same easy going smile that charmed you from the beginning. “You’re funny too,” he says, “the way you keep pretending you don’t realize what I am.”

There they are again, the alarm bells, singing loudly in your brain, urging you to flee. The smile fades from your lips “What are you talking about?” 

“I don’t know what it is, some kind of gene or something, but some people just instinctively know,” he says, his tone casual. Friendly. “And usually, those same people send out their own signals, whether they know it or not. Just like you can sense that I’m a predator, I can sense that you’re wired to be the perfect prey.”

You back away a few inches, leaving your glass on the counter. Your heart is pounding wildly. “I don’t understand.”

He grins. “See? There it is again. You’re scared, naturally, but you’re excited too. You’re enjoying this. I can sense your pulse getting quicker, hear your heartbeat getting faster, and…” his eyes shift down your body, “can smell how wet you’re getting.”

You flush with embarrassment. He’s never said anything remotely sexual to you before, so it’s a bit of a shock to hear it now. But the worst part is that it’s true. 

“I knew it the moment I met you. It’s like you were designed to be my ideal prey,” he tells you. And suddenly you notice his warm golden eyes are glowing with a supernatural light, looking eerie even in this well lit room. He grins again, and you can see two prominent fangs, large and razor sharp, inside his mouth. 

You edge further away from him, still in disbelief. “W-what are you?” 

“Isn’t it obvious, sweetheart? Haven’t I been givin’ you hints this whole time? I’m a vampire.”

Your eyes sweep around the kitchen. There’s a knife block, but it’s closer to him than you. Is there anything else you could use?

You hear his laugh, still infectious even now. “Looking for a weapon? Not like you could kill me even if you had a gun. No, we’re gonna have a little chase. If you can make it back to the front door before I catch you, you can go home. Hell, I’ll even call you an Uber!”

You stare at him, trying to process what he’s saying through your shock. “What happens if you catch me?”

There’s that smoldering look again, and you reflexively squeeze your thighs together as he says, “I’ll fuck your pretty little brains out and drink your blood.” 

Your breath hitches, your chest is heaving as you breathe harder, preparing to run. He smiles and says, “I’ll give you a one minute head start. Now go!”

There’s no hesitation as you rush out of the kitchen, sprint through the dining room, and down a corridor. When you get to the end of the first corridor, however, you can’t remember which direction to go. You take a chance on running left when you hear the dining room door open. He’s already coming! 

You stop around a corner and pull off your high heeled shoes. They’re too hard to run in, and they make a lot of noise on the tile. You backtrack and leave the shoes at an intersection where two halls meet, leaving it unclear which direction you went, then take a right down a corridor that looks vaguely familiar. 

As you run toward what you hope is the exit, you can’t help asking yourself if you actually want to find it. You’ve been drawn to Keigo since you first met him, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want him to absolutely rail you. He even acknowledged that fact out loud. If that was all he wanted to do, you’d be running toward him. But drinking your blood? Would that kill you? Or would he just take a little? 

You hear footsteps, and panic makes you dart into a room along the hall. It looks like a bedroom, as lavishly decorated as the rest of the castle but with less modern touches. In fact it could be a king’s bedroom from some medieval drama. 

On one wall is a large portrait of a man you mistake to be Keigo at first. Then you notice his clothes are from a different era and his hair is styled differently. Maybe it’s the ancestor he was telling you about. Or wait… if he really is a vampire, he could be hundreds of years old! Maybe he actually was the ancestor all along. 

You feel a warm breeze and look over to find an open doorway leading to a balcony. Red curtains are swaying in the air, and as you watch, they occasionally part to reveal a lovely view of the city at night. 

Just then, the door to the room starts to open. How does he already know which room you’re in?! Maybe it’s his enhanced senses, but you have to hide. You head out to the balcony and wait, listening as he comes into the room. You’re running out of options! 

You back up until you hit the barrier of the balcony. You look down. This side of the castle overlooks a yard that seems way too far down. Jumping would be a big risk! But you don’t have any choice!

As Keigo appears between the curtains, stepping onto the balcony, you quickly climb over and let yourself drop. You hear his voice calling for you to wait, but then you’re falling through the summer night air. You squeeze your eyes shut and brace for the impact. You hear a strange sound, like wind whooshing over fabric, and suddenly your fall stops. 

You open your eyes, wondering why nothing hurts, only to find yourself in Keigo’s arms. Behind him, you can see two enormous red bat wings that have sprouted from his back. His golden eyes now glow red, and his sharp fangs are much bigger. Is this his true form?

“Gonna give me a fuckin’ heart attack!” he says as he flies back up to the balcony and lands, still holding you. 

You squirm in his arms. “Let go!”

“Hey, I already caught you! Game’s over!” 

You go still as you realize he’s touching you. Your body is curled against his surprisingly hard chest. His hands are warm on your shoulder and under your thighs, holding you up like a bride. You look up at his face, and he looks so gorgeous, all resistance melts away. 

Without a word, you lean up and kiss him. You didn’t plan it or even think about it. There’s a magnetism that draws you to him, and you can no longer fight it. 

He carries you back inside and sits you down on the bed, leaning over you and kissing your mouth as he unbuttons his shirt. He’s way more muscular than you expected, and your hands move to his chest, slipping beneath his open shirt. His own hands are working your dress up your thighs, to your waist, then up and over your head. 

His fingers deftly unhook your bra and pull it off you, and when you’re left in nothing but lace panties and thigh high stockings, he pushes you back onto the mattress. He lifts your legs and turns them until you’re lying perfectly straight in the middle of the bed. That’s when you notice the blood red silk scarves tied to each post of the headboard. 

Keigo takes each of your wrists in turn and kisses the inside, right where you feel your pulse most strongly, then ties a silk scarf around it, effectively tying your arms to the bed. You give an experimental tug, but the silk is strong. 

When finished, he looms over you, his shirt still on but open, his eyes glowing, his blonde hair being slightly tussled by the breeze, his crimson wings spread out behind him. You’ve never seen a more mesmerizing sight in your life. 

He grins. “Nothing hotter than captured prey.”

And as he begins kissing you again, first your mouth, then moving down your neck, you feel that familiar prey instinct of wanting to escape. You jerk at your bonds, even as you revel in the sensation of his lips on your skin, his tongue running over one hard nipple before taking it into his mouth. You feel a fang ghost over the tender flesh, and shiver. 

You feel instinctive fear, but you also feel an indescribable thrill ripple through your body. You’re trapped beneath a bloodthirsty vampire, but you’ve never been more aroused in your entire life. 

That’s why you don’t struggle or protest when he slides your panties down your hips and off your ankles, then spreads you open. You’ve been waiting for this, aching for this, since you first met him. You’ve been desperate for him to touch you, to feel his hands and mouth on your heated, quivering flesh. To have his cock inside you. 

“Do you know how hard it was to control myself?” he says, planting a few more quick kisses along your stomach as he moves down. “If I’d touched you on that first date, I would’ve ended up fucking you on a table at the cafe.”

You look down at him as he rubs your dripping slit with his thumb, and ask, “Why didn’t you?” 

He glances up, looking mildly surprised, then he grins as his fingers spread your folds and he gives the first lick, right up to your swollen clit. “I didn’t think that would make a good first impression,” he answers before drawing circles around your clit with his tongue, never quite touching it but teasing it mercilessly. 

You moan, arching your back, lifting your hips from the bed in an attempt to get his tongue in the right spot. “Ahh… please…!”

He pushes one finger inside you, curling it in a way that has you gasping. “Hmm? Please what? Is this little clit feeling neglected?” 

Again he licks a path around it but never on it, making you whine. Finally, he shows mercy and wraps his lips around the tiny nub, suckling it as his finger pumps in and out of you. Your hips buck at the sudden intense pleasure, feeling his tongue run over the tip of your clit, even feeling a hint of teeth grazing over it. 

You cum within seconds, moaning and shaking, your hands balled into fists. He draws back, slowly licking his lips as he unbuttons his pants. You watch with anticipation, eager to see the cock you’ve been hungry for all this time. 

It does not disappoint. 

It’s beautifully shaped, much bigger than you would have guessed considering his height, and glistening with tasty looking precum. He pushes your legs up, hooking them over his shoulders and folding you in half, then looks you in the eyes as he pushes himself in. 

It feels incredible, his cock filling you up perfectly, rubbing you in exactly the right spots. When he begins thrusting, impossibly deep and hard, you can only let out little whimpers and cries, your mind going blank to everything but the pleasure of feeling him inside you. 

He leans forward, kissing you again as one of his hands slips around your throat. God, he’s beautiful. His glowing eyes stare into yours as his hand tightens, constricting your airflow, making your pussy clench around him in response. As you struggle to gasp in air, he runs his tongue along your parted lips and fucks into you even deeper. 

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” he murmurs, his other hand maintaining a bruising grip on your waist for leverage. Just as you feel like you might black out, despite the hard fucking he’s giving you, his hand releases your throat. You take in gulps of air, the sudden rush of oxygen making you slightly lightheaded. 

And before you can fully catch your breath, his mouth opens wide, displaying the terrifyingly sharp fangs before biting down on your neck. 

You cry out in shock and pain, feeling his teeth tear into your skin as warm blood is sucked into his mouth. His tongue prods at the wound as his cock continues to ram into your drenched pussy. 

Well, there are certainly worse ways to go. 

As he repeatedly hits your most sensitive spots, a feeling of euphoria washes over you. The pain of his bite dulls, even as his teeth clamp down harder, and as he drinks your blood, you cum once again, trembling in his grasp. 

He pulls his face back, and his mouth is red all over, your life fluids dripping down his chin. His thrusts grow in intensity, an almost animalistic grunt escaping his bloody mouth as he fucks into you. A few seconds later, his mouth seals over the wound again, sucking out more blood as he shoves in even deeper, shooting his entire load into your womb. 

He finally pulls out of you, taking a moment to drink in the sight of your bound, bloody, fucked out form in his bed. Then he unties the silk scarves. 

“You okay?” he asks, his tone as casual and friendly as before. 

You wince as you sit up. You’re going to be sore for a few days, in a lot of places. Wait, is he not going to kill you? Drain you completely? Make sure you don’t tell his secret?

He seems to read your mind, because he laughs at your confused expression. “Don’t worry! I haven’t killed anyone since the 1500’s!”

You look at him incredulously. “Then what was the deal with that whole chase?!”

He tilts his head slightly. “It was fun, right? You really do have strong prey instincts. I don’t see that very often in the modern age. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Especially when I saw how excited you were getting.”

You blush at that remark. “So what now?” you ask, sliding out of bed and looking for your underwear. 

“Hmm? I guess we plan our next date?” he says, his eyes returning to their normal golden color while his wings seem to retract into his back. He hands you your bra with a smile. “Unless you wanna dump me after this.”

“No, I definitely don’t want that,” you say, putting the bra on. You lightly touch your neck, feeling the sticky blood and torn skin, then hiss at the throb of pain. “But could you go a little easier with the bites?”

An apologetic look flashes over his face. “Sorry, it’s hard to control myself sometimes. I hadn’t fed in a long time, and arousal makes the bloodlust stronger. It should heal up really fast though. Something in vampire saliva makes their bites heal quickly.”

“Good to know,” you say, pulling on your dress. 

He’s smiling at you in that easy going way you find so charming. “Start coming over more often. If you get used to this place, our chases might last longer.”

You stop and stare at him. “Wait, you’re gonna keep chasing me?!”

He grins. “Only if you keep running, sweetheart.”

[flightfoot]

Top Ten Completed Miraculous Fics Of 2024

So here it is, my top ten list for the year. I'm gonna be adding this as a bookmark subcollection inside of the full collection. That way, people will still be able to see which fics I recommend most highly for the year, even if they can't find this particular tumblr post.

I've got a real range in popularity here. The most popular fic has over 2000 kudos, while the least popular hasn't even hit 20 yet, at the time of my writing this. Just goes to show that popularity doesn't necessarily track with quality, especially for fics that have more niche appeal to begin with.

All of these are over 40K this time. Longer fics just have more going on, so they dominate lists like this. Which is one reason I have the regular lists that are separated by wordcount, to let fics of every length have a chance to shine.

A lot of the lower entries here bounced around in placement. The top five remained pretty stable though, once entered.

Here's the subcollection I set up for them!

10.

Each Hum And Click by @echo-has-queries

Kagami thought her understandably high standards for a match in marriage would mean she could avoid being paired with a man by her mother. That she could keep perfecting her flying-machine skills and eventually take over her mother’s place in leading the Tsurugi steam engine manufacturing company without having to defer to a man. She would have thought that when her mother told her to test the Agreste boy as a marriage match she had been kidding - if her mother ever kid. But she was serious and there truly was no fault to be found with Gabriel Agreste's son - except for the small detail of course, that he was not human. So Kagami must turn to the only fine mechanic she knows in Paris to find a solution to this new dilemma. But perhaps the dilemma could turn out to be the solution itself. Written for the AU Roulette Challenge 2024 with the prompt: Steampunk AU

So this fic is entirely from Kagami's POV, and it is a treat! It's an Adrigaminette fic, which you slowly figure out from reading the fic, if you didn't check the tags - Kagami may have tried not to like Adrien, but he grew on her regardless, and then a few chapters in you find out about hers and Marinette's failed relationship. I loved slowly finding out why the two of them broke up, when there are clearly still strong feelings between them, and how it ties into Kagami's character arc and the overall themes of the story: standing up for yourself, breaking free from those who would control you, and forging your own path.

---

9.

Do You Read Me? by @19thsentry-blog

The problem with being a Couffaine was the hereditary bits. The stubbornness. The weird need to pick a fight with authority for no reason besides the principle of it. The way being a Couffaine meant falling in love, fast as a car crash, and just as deadly. It ruined you forever.

So basically, this takes place a few years after Season 5, in the post-Wish world. Luka takes over as the Ladybug Holder, battling Chrysalis in Marinette's place. It's causing him some strain, since it's hard to hold down a job when you need to vanish randomly for long periods of time while on the clock, and it doesn't help that Chrysalis is a lot sneakier than Monarch was.

That's not the core of the story though. No, the real story starts up at chapter 3, when Luka suddenly wakes up in 19th century London, supposedly having always been there, and talking to a 19th century version of Max. From there, he soon gets escorted to Felix, who is a detective around those parts and agrees to host him for awhile.

This is a Sherlock Holmes inspired story, with the setting ripped straight out of those old stories, and I think it does a great job of that! Felix feels natural as Sherlock, with his deductive abilities, and the mystery really does read a lot like a Sherlock story. Though of course, the ultimate cause is more magical in nature.

I love Luka's perspective in this story and his and Felix's dynamic, it just feels very natural and well done!

I was satisfied with how the mystery wrapped up, 19thsentry did a good job of making things make sense at the end, and it felt satisfying. If you want a story with some great characterization for Luka or Felix, or just feel like a mystery, this is the story for you!

8.

A Breach In The Brooch by @piromina

Ladybug and Chat Noir are the heroes of Paris. Hawkmoth is Chat Noir's father. Chat Noir is aware of this. Hawkmoth is not.

So this is an interesting spin on the classic "Gabriel recruits Adrien early on to help him" plotline. Mostly because Adrien is still Chat Noir in this AND still helping Ladybug as a superhero - Gabriel has no clue about his secret identity.

Plagg, unsurprisingly, isn't thrilled about Adrien refusing to tell Ladybug what he knows about Hawkmoth's identity, and that Adrien keeps following Gabriel's orders, even when he knows they're wrong. Though he figures out before Adrien does that Adrien's compulsion to follow his father's orders isn't just a psychological thing...

I really love Plagg in this especially, he's the MVP. He knows what it's like to be compelled to do or not to do certain things, so he's good at comforting Adrien over it and at finding loopholes for him.

---

7.

Phantom Pains (and other hints of you) by @buggachat

She couldn't remember anything. Not where she was going, where she'd been, why she was in this stairwell, or even her own name. But as she watched the blood pool at the base of the steps, she at least knew one thing for certain: the corpse was hers. Getting used to being dead was going to have its growing pains. — “Well, unlucky lady,” Chat Noir greeted with a bow, “Can I get your name?” “Didn’t we just talk about this? I told you, I don’t remember it.” “And I told you,” he reminded, “that you can just pick whatever fits you best.” — Ladybug and Chat Noir may not remember who they once were, but at least the two lost souls can find comfort in each other's company. But as Ladybug starts uncovering more and more memories of her life, letting the past go doesn't seem as easy as Chat Noir claims it to be.

So this is a beautiful, sweet, tragic love story of two lost souls wandering around with each other, yet with Ladybug still desperately wanting to be found, to remember who she was - and wanting to know why Chat so adamantly wanted to stay amnesiac. It's got some neat worldbuilding, and some fantastic prose. It's just a really nice little story!

---

6.

A Small but Stubborn Fire by @cardiac-agreste

What if you were the parent of a teenage superhero, but didn't know they were? All you know is the nightmares, the panic attacks, and the bruises. She's missing school, she's disappearing on you, and she's not telling you anything. So you assume the worst: Assault. Depression. A permanent rift in the family. And what do you do when you realize you weren't thinking dark enough? Because your fourteen-year old daughter is the hero who flirts with death on the nightly news. -- Come inside and read about one mother's struggles to raise her daughter in a dangerous world while avoiding the mistakes her own mother made with her.

This is a more serious take on the consequences of Hawk Moth's war on Paris, with actual bloody, painful deaths as a consequence of many akumas, and Parisians developing PTSD because of what they've gone through. Ladybug can fix all the physical scars, but not the mental ones, including her own.

I love the focus on Sabine here. She's not just presented as being a mom - though of course that IS an important role she has. But she's explored as a character in her own right, one with a lot of emotional baggage as a result of her abusive mother, and trying to not fall into her mistakes, but sometimes doing so anyway out of fear for Marinette's safety. She's a really fleshed out, humanly flawed character, sometimes admitting that she would do something selfish if it means protecting the people she cares most about, like her daughter, even if its at others expense. She grows and changes a lot throughout the course of the story, her perspective on many matters changing multiple times as a result of getting new information or seeing the consequences of her previous approaches, and adjusting as a result.

If you want a fic that more realistically explores the dark consequences of Miraculous's setting, that fleshes out Sabine, or just develops a character in a complex way, then I highly recommend you check "A Small but Stubborn Fire" out!

---

5.

Finding A Way by @uptoolateart

Collège is nearly over! And what better way to celebrate than a class trip to Costa Rica? But with only a month left to tell Adrien she loves him, Marinette is feeling the pressure. Then – an accident at sea leaves them stranded together on a tropical island…alone. Or are they? Because those footprints in the sand don’t resemble any bird they’ve seen before. And what’s that roaring sound coming from the jungle? ‘Adrien…where ARE we??’ ***** A Jurassic Park / Camp Cretaceous AU that’s been kicking around in my head for over a year

I love the sense of danger permeating this fic, it really feels like Adrien and Marinette are stranded on Jurassic Park (well it's called something else in order to integrate it better into the ML universe, but it operates like Jurassic Park). They're making the best of it though, doing their best to survive - and along the way, getting closer together.

I like that it's not JUST them though, Gabriel and Nathalie find out where they ended up pretty early on and go to rescue them, with Alya and Nino stowing away. It was cool to see that side of things as well.

Oh yeah, this fic is rated M for violence and gore. It's because dinosaurs eat people alive and leave their body parts everywhere. If you can handle the Jurassic Park movie (or presumably the book the movie was based on, but I haven't read that), then you should be just fine.

---

4.

Boulangerella by @aidanchaser

Once upon a time, magic was wild. The two princes of the kingdom have been tasked with choosing their brides by the end of their 21st birthday celebrations. Crown Prince Adrien Agreste will have to choose between a woman who can protect his kingdom, a woman offering the power to wake his sleeping mother, and the woman he has loved and admired for the past year. Then there's also the seamstress that he is suddenly falling for. By the time he realizes he doesn't have the power to choose at all, it may be too late.

I love a good fairy tale AU, and this is no exception. Aidanchaser started writing it before Season 5 came out, so it's wrong about some things. Most notably, Felix's posthumous father was a good and decent person here, and one of the twin rings is Felix's Amok while the other one is Adrien's Amok, instead of both of them being Adrien's Amok.

This was a well-crafted tale, with kwamis operating as Fae: they can give power, but only if the wielder gives something up to pay for it. For temporary usage of their power, it can be something small and innocuous, such as giving Plagg cheese in exchange for his help. More expansive uses of their power requires greater sacrifices however, even sacrificing more nebulous things such as memories or hope.

The kingdom's currently being terrorized by this unknown villain, Hawk Moth, as in the show. Ladybug and Chat Noir emerge to battle him, but for some reason (*cough, cough*), King Gabriel isn't fond of the superheroes and wants them captured.

Gabriel isn't the only threat out there, Lila's skulking around, hinting that she knows how to wake up Emilie from her mysterious illness, if only Adrien marries her. And she's not about to take no for an answer.

If you've been wanting a fairy tale/fantasy Miraculous AU, I recommend giving Boulangerella a shot!

---

3.

He Couldn't Remember (Falling For Her) by @purpleautumnvision

"If I was given a choice in who Chat Noir would be, I would've chosen you." "And there's nobody else in the whole world I'd rather have as my little bug." Without secret identities in the way, Marinette and Adrien get to live out their love story and put their heads together to discover the identity of Hawk Moth... but an unforeseen twist puts the Miraculouses in Gabriel's hands. When he makes his wish for a world where his wife never became sick from using the broken Peacock Miraculous, the universe requires someone else to become sick in order to maintain balance. Who better than his greatest enemy, Ladybug herself? Adrien, with his memories rewritten by the wish, wakes up in a world without superheroes, without Hawk Moth, without Marinette, without friends, and without a clue as to why everything feels so wrong. Something's missing, but he's gonna find out what. Then he'll put his world back into place.

So this was a fascinating scenario, with Adrien waking up in a world where Marinette was dead while his mother was alive, a world that as far as he knew had always been the case... but having weird feelings he can't explain. And not just him, I love how much focus Alya gets here as well! Turns out that the memories are kind of hidden, but still present, and since Adrien and Alya never got to meet Marinette in this universe (she died just before the new school year began, at the same time that Emilie did in the normal universe) AND Adrien and Alya were her closest friends in the previous universe, their feelings towards her are closest to the surface and least impacted by the memories from this universe.

The other people in this universe... well, the class isn't taking Marinette's death well. It's fascinating to see just how much her death effects them, to see how it haunts them, and I loved seeing their reactions to Adrien's weird behavior about their dead classmate who he never got a chance to meet, it shows how strange some of this can look to the outside, and it doesn't help that these are grieving kids.

Just... this is a great fic, I highly recommend checking it out!

---

2.

Symbiotic Whiskers by B1ackout

Adrien Agreste aka Cat Noir was given the cat ring miraculous to help Ladybug in protecting Paris. But something had found him first, a silent companion that granted him strength and power he never knew existed. Bonded with a symbiote, Cat Noir faces Paris alongside Ladybug without even knowing that someone left a magical ring in his room. (Canon Divergence)

This is a phenomenal fic that deserves more attention. It's kind of funny how he just goes "hey I've got superpowers, she says that the thing we have that gives superpowers is called the Black Cat Miraculous and that the being that gives them is called a kwami, obviously that must be what I have!" though that gets stretched more and more as Adrien's experiences with the symbiote contradict what he's heard about how kwamis work, and Tikki gets increasingly worried about "Plagg's" weird behavior. It's a dark, somewhat brutal fic (people die permanently, and they're not always villains), and it's absolutely worth a read, this is an excellent crossover!

1.

Withered Wings by @11jj11

Nino wasn’t sure if anyone had ever willingly took the akuma butterfly before him, but with his mind completely open to this apparent son of Hawk Moth he knew that he couldn’t turn him away. Not someone that was so afraid, not someone who would be left at the mercy of Hawk Moth.

This fic is amazing! Just... some absolutely stellar Adrino, with some nice Alyanette on the side, AND it's one of the best Enemies AU (well, sort of. Adrien's on Hawkmoth's side, but Nino isn't, exactly), in the fandom! I love how much we get of Nino's perspective, his determination to save this boy who's been thrown into these battles, who clearly doesn't want to hurt people but is compelled to do so, while balancing it with trying to prevent damage to anyone else as well. He has to be the one to look after Adrien, because no one else will do so.

I also love the focus Alya gets here, as Marinette's partner. She does an amazing job in the role, with every Miraculous she gets, even though she isn't a perfect wielder.

That's something else, I like the bits of worldbuilding this adds in, with people who fully embody the aspect a kwami represents being able to transform more fully. That does not mean, however, that an imperfect match is a bad thing, the kwami and wielder can still be very strong together and get along well, even if they don't perfectly align.

I adore how Nino had to balance his roles in this, helping Adrien without hurting others, even fighting back against the heroes as needed, as much as he didn't want to. And how understanding people were when they found out the full story of what was going on. It's a truly fantastic story that anyone who likes Enemies AU, Adrino, or just want to read a good Miraculous fic should check out.

I do want to warn that Gabriel and Nathalie are significantly OOC in this. Gabriel's even more abusive and colder than he is in canon, and Nathalie is WAY worse. This fic started before season 5, so it wasn't known what Nathalie's red line would be. As a result, Adrien's more downtrodden than he is in canon, since the consequences of disobedience are worse than being cut off from friends, or even being made to sit in a blank white room indefinitely.

[bellamioneotp]

Most Famous Bellamione Fics

This fic list got voted on my poll, so here it is! The fics that the Bellamione nation was built on.

All fics are on Fanfiction.net as it was the OG site for our Bellamione foundations.

Those Gilded Chains we Wear- This fanfic was published around 2012 and basically launched the Bellamione fandom into the stratosphere. The popularity of the ship began to pick up and more long form fics began to be published. It's considered a cornerstone of Bellamione culture and has inspired countless fics no doubt.

Impossible- This fic predates Those Gilded Chains and is very well written as well. It leans a bit more heavily on Hermione and Bellatrix not getting along at the start but still presents growth in their relationship. I feel this fic does not get as much recognition in the community despite it being one of the rare long fics in 2011 for the ship.

The Dark Corners of the Earth and Murder Most Horrid- Both written by the same author, this writer is still present in the Bellamione community today and writing more. The first fic presents eldritch horror in it and the second one is detective story. Both stories are long and include much worldbuilding. They kept the Bellamione community fed for long stretches of time.

Fractures, Fractures The Last Champion, and Turn Time Series,- All written by the same author, the first and second one feature the OG professor Bellatrix and student Hermione relationship that was fully fleshed out. Their back and forth was always a treat a read, as was the competition and the plot around it. The Turn Time series is also a fun read and though it can be confusing at times trying to figure out what is going on with the plot in connection to all three fics, that is part of the appeal.

Our Mercurial Selves- No longer up, RIP.

No Good Deed- No longer up on any site, this story was intense and very well written. There was always a lot of interaction between the characters and the story unfortunately cut off at a really good climax point.

Lotus Flower- A soulmate AU that sadly is not finished. But it had a good amount of tension in it that would made seeing it unfold fun to read.

Metamorphosis- A fic that has similar vibes and shares story beats to Those Gilded Chains in a good way. It is completed. Not as super popular as the other ones but still worth a read because the reveal of Hermione dating Bellatrix is satisfying.

Future Shocks- Very action based and not much Bellamione until the end, but it still packs quite a punch when reading it. A good example of how to write the horrors of war.

Reign Down- I consider this the dark au fic of all dark au fics. The world building is fantastic and reading the story unnerves me which means it's doing a great job with how it's unfolding. It has not been updated in a while but if you're looking for how a dark au should be structured for Bellamione, this is it.

Time Heals All Wounds- This fic utilized Time Travel in a way not seen in Bellamione fics before and popularized time travel fics as a way to help redeem the relationship between the two of them.

[xoxoxkisses]

An an idea hear me out

It's about tokito twins tho mui and yui

If you might.

What if they just switch on dates with you like one day mui another yui they don't tell you about it and it did take some time for the reader to find out.

oooh this is a great request! info: story is told in a modern au! And characters are 18+. warnings: not proofread, sorry!

————————————————————————

Caught

————————————————————————

You were dating Muichiro for a while now. It didn’t take long for you to find out he had a twin brother until he came into Muichiro’s room not knowing you were there. After that, the three of up became inseparable.

Muichiro took you on a date at least twice a week. Or so you thought. Little did you know, the twins were playing a common twin game. When Muichiro couldn’t make it to a date, he always had his twin brother, Yuichiro, go on it. You never knew about it of course, you couldn’t tell them apart, except for one thing: Muichiro had a freckle on the top of his index finger.

Today was one of the date nights that Yuichiro had to go on. You had planned with Muichiro to go to the movies. While the two of you were watching the movie, you leaned over and kissed Yuichiro on the cheek. His face went bright red but you couldn’t tell. Yuichiro excused himself to the bathroom, you didn’t think anything of it and smiled at him.

In the bathroom Yuichiro pulled out his phone and texted Muichiro.

Yuichiro

“Muichiro, Y/N just kissed me on my cheek, what do I do?”

Muichiro

“It’s okay, just go along with it. If she tries to do anything you aren’t comfortable with politely shut her down.”

Yuichiro put his phone away and walked back into the theater room. He went to sit down and that’s when you noticed him. “You’re back!” You gave him a sweet smile. “Yeah.” He smiled back at you. This movie seemed to carry on forever he thought.

Once you two got into the car, you tried to kiss him. He turned away which shocked you. “Why don’t you want to kiss me Mui..?” You were getting really upset, Yuichiro was getting flustered and didn’t know what to do anymore. “I..um well it’s just we ate all of that popcorn, it’s not really appealing.” He said fidgeting with his hands. “Hmm, well I guess that makes sense.” You turned away and he couldn’t help but feel bad. ————————————————————————

This time it was Muichiro who took you on the date. He decided to take you to a tulip farm as tulips were your favorite flower. The two of you had a lot of fun.

As the sun was setting, he took you into his arms and kissed you passionately. This was a completely different demeanor than last week at the movies. Well of course it was. It was getting late so the two of you left and went back to his house.

At his house Yuichiro was in the family room watching a movie. “Hey Y/N.” He said glancing over at you. There was a reason he agreed to taking you on dates when Muichiro couldn’t. He liked you too. ————————————————————————

It’s been a few months since the twins started their date switch-a-roo. This time Yuchiro was with you. The two of you went to a spot in a field the watch the sunset. As the two of you sat there in pleasurable silence, you grabbed Yuichiro’s hand. You started playing with his fingers, finally holding his hand. You turned in his direction, staring at him. He was staring at you too, getting nervous. You slowly closed the gap between you two and kissed him. He felt his head spinning. No way that just happened, he thought. When you pulled back you looked down to play with his fingers again.

That’s when you noticed. The freckle wasn’t there. A confused look overcame your face. He noticed and looked down at what you were looking at. That’s when he also noticed it. His blood ran cold. You looked at him and pulled your phone out. You texted Muichiro.

You

“The sunset is really pretty from this field you know?”

Muichiro

“yeah, it is.”

The boy’s phone beside you didn’t buzz. You caught them. Yuichiro accepted defeat. He knew. “Take me to your house Yuichiro.” You looked at him blankly. “Y/N, look im so-.” you cut him off. “Yuichiro, take me to your house.” You stood up walking to the car, he followed not far behind.

Once you got there, the two of you waited for Muichiro to come home. Once he did, he greeted you two. “Hey Y/N and Mui-.” You stared at him, your blood boiling. “Cut the shit Muichiro. I found out your little secret.” His face flushed. How could you find out? “Where have you been when you couldn’t take me on dates hm?” He fidgeted with his hands. “Y/N, I’ve had to go into work on our date night and I didn’t want to tell you.” “So you sent me out with your BROTHER? Muichiro I kissed him, thinking it was you.” He felt as if his heart broke into a million pieces. “Y/N im sorry. I really am.” You just ignored him, you walked out and went home.

Your phone kept getting spammed with texts and calls from the twins. How could they do this to you? You decided in a few days you would go grab your belongings from their house.

You knocked on their door. Muichiro opened it, he looked horrible you had noticed. He had eye bags and his hair looked like he just neglected it. You felt bad, but you were still mad at him. When you went to his room to grab your things he asked to talk. “What is there to talk about Muichiro?” You crossed your arms. “Y/N just let me explain.”

You allowed him to explain, and at the end you were still mad, but you also decided to forgive him. You stayed the night at his house, talking about everything that happened. You had also talked to Yuichiro a little, he had also apologized. You and Muichiro were a little rocky the next few days, but you finally decided you could start to trust him again, and decided to limit your dates to just once a week.

[marq-lynch]

#Strickpage Strikeout is Here!

It's a Connect 4 Bingo Challenge!

Pick one or more of the four themed StrickPage Bingo cards, and try to create four pieces that connect in any direction. Each card has sixteen spaces, with fifteen prompts and one free space for a wild card.

The WrestleDream card offers softer, more tentative new relationship prompts for a fluffier side or AUs.

The Full Gear card is your classic StrickPage horny violence with lots of vampire undertones.

The Revolution card pulls a lot of weight and no punches, shouldering the angst burden through the All In era.

The All Out card brings us full circle to our modern standing, with a complicated combo of fiery passion and threads ended but untied.

Of course if you get that competitive itch you can always try your hand at a second card. Or even combine prompts from multiple. The truly wild might try for a full card strikeout...

This is not just a fic challenge, and this is a great reminder that AO3 does work as repository both to embed media AND to link out to other sites on third parties.

Mix it and match it up if you want: do a fic drabble one day, a sketch the next, a video edit the third, and round out the last day with a lovely set of memes.

Expanded Cards with Posting Information & Links to TV Tropes Pages Below Read More.

You can add your works, anonymously or not, to the StrickPage StrikeOut AO3 collection beginning Midnight on March 3rd, Pacific Time, remaining open through the end of the month for inevitable 'life happens' straggling.

Please tag your works #StrickPage StrikeOut on social media with a space, and avoid tagging alternative ship name spellings.

We recommend imgbox.com for third party image hosting with ease of embedding and galleries and no sign up required, and Vimeo for the same with videos edits.

There are no real rules to this challenge other than to create StrickPage or Hangman & Swerve relationship fanworks in the spirit of the challenge. Take the cards and make your own challenges.

Please don't hesitate to reach out to me by DM on Tumblr, Discord, or Bsky if you have questions, but really the point of this is just to have fun and create as a fandom! Don't put too much pressure on it.

Card #1 - Wrestledream - (Softer/New Relationship)

Love is a Weakness - Love is regarded as a negative influence.

Cupid's Arrow - Falling in love personified by the love god, Cupid.

Rivalry as Courtship - A romance that stems from two characters' rivalry.

I Didn't Mean to Turn You On - Unintentionally making someone fall in love with you.

Laugh of Love - The tendency to laugh when in the presence of your love interest.

Unresolved Sexual Tension - Two characters are obviously attracted to each other, but they never act on their feelings.

Inconvenient Attraction - A character falls in love when they'd rather not.

No Challenge = No Satisfaction - I'm only happy when there's a challenge!

How Dad Met Mom - Come around, kids, this is the story of how your father and I fell in love.

Puppy Love - Romance between pre-pubescent children. [Note: This is on the list because of Swerve's famous playlist choice to include 'Awaken, My Love' for the Deathmatch, which includes the line 'So This isn't just Puppy Love'. Like all prompts on these cards, interpret as you see fit.]

Love at First Punch - Falling in love with somebody who beat you up.

Forgotten First Meeting - Forgetting that you first met your love interest long ago.

Best Her to Bed Her - A man must defeat a strong woman in combat if he wishes to romance her.

Crazy in the Head, Crazy in the Bed - A character is eccentric or outright insane, which makes them more appealing in the romantic and sexual sense.

Card #2 - Full Gear - (Violently Horny Vampire Vibes)

Stalker with a Crush - A character who follows the person they're in love with everywhere.

Stalker without a Crush - Whose obsession is unrelated to romantic or sexual feelings.

Too Much Alike - When applied to romantic relationships (or, less commonly, friendships). Two people break apart because they're too similar to each other; their shared traits clash and/or they have the same traits they don't like in themselves.

It's Personal - It sure is. You hurt someone dear to me. Now I'm gonna fucking kill you!

In Love with Your Carnage - A villainous or morally ambiguous character falls for someone because of their violent tendencies.

Breaking and Bloodsucking - Vampires break into bedrooms to attack women.

Hemo Erotic - A fetish for biting and drinking blood.

Must Be Invited - A supernatural creature cannot enter a dwelling without permission from the homeowners.

Yandere - They're so in love with somebody that they'll murder anybody who stands in their way.

Yandere Couple - Two people driven murderous with love end up together.

Combat Sadomasochist - Someone who enjoys both inflicting harm on (and also receiving harm from) other people.

I Hate You, Vampire Dad - Hating someone who turned you into a monster.

It's Not You, It's My Enemies - Being with your lover puts them in harm's way.

Consuming Passion - Cannibalism with sexy undertones.

Red String of Fate - Two characters are bound by fate to be together.

Arch-Enemy - The main villain of the story is usually (though not necessarily always) the primary nemesis of the main hero.

Interplay of Sex and Violence - Violence and sex happening around the same time as each other, or even using violence as foreplay.

Card #3 - Revolution Through All In - (Angst Vibes)

Came Back with a Vengeance - You ruined my life and sent me away to rot in exile, but I'm back with new skills, a new identity, and a meticulous plan to destroy everything you love.

The Mistress - A woman whom a married man cheats on his wife with.

I Gave My Word - May indicate Honor Before Reason.

Wanting Is Better Than Having - Once you've gotten all that you've wanted, life becomes boring and unrewarding.

Career Versus Man - A woman must give up her career if she gets married.

Awful Wedded Life - An unhappy and dreary marriage.

Reformed, but Rejected - A villain seeking redemption finds that no one trusts them.

Daddy Had a Good Reason for Abandoning You - A parent gives an excuse for why they left their child.

Descent into Addiction - A character's story arc involves them becoming dependent on a substance.

Am I Just a Toy to You? - A character confronts the other about how serious they think their relationship is.

Motive Decay - A villain gradually discards the reasons why they became evil in the first place, either losing their sympathy if they keep at it or give up their villainy after no longer caring about their Freudian Excuse

The Perils of Being the Best - Being The Ace has many prices to pay.

Success As Revenge - The best way to repay you for what you've done to me is by living a good life while you end up being miserable.

Accomplice by Inaction - You did nothing to save me from injustice even though you could. Therefore, I'm gonna end you!

Off the Wagon - A recovering alcoholic starts drinking again.

Card #4 - All Out - (Burning Romance)

Rationalizing the Overkill - My revenge ended up going too far/causing collateral damage, but it was well worth it!

Devoted to You - A character who inspires obsessive devotion in those around them.

Victory Is Boring - A character succeeds, but doesn't know what to do afterwards.

Destructive Romance - A deeply unhappy and dysfunctional romantic relationship (sometimes to the point of being abusive).

Fate Drives Us Together - If two people keep encountering each other, it means they're meant to be together.

Ignored Epiphany - A villain considers redeeming themselves, then decides not to.

Loving a Shadow - Falling in love with the ideal of someone rather than the actual person.

Vengeance Feels Empty - I've successfully gotten my revenge... now I have no idea what to do.

Fully-Embraced Fiend - Someone turned into a vampire decides to embrace their transformation rather than fight it.

Grand Romantic Gesture - A big, elaborate event done for someone to show your love for them.

Conducting the Carnage - So what if the world is ending? I'm just going to stand here and move my hands like a conductor. Whatever.

He Who Fights Monsters - Because of my goal for revenge, I've become just like the bastard who harassed me. Good.

Fanatical Fire - YOU SHALL BURN!!!!

Flames of Love - Fire represents the passion in a relationship.

Burn Baby Burn - Destroying something with fire for a dramatic disposal.

[halfhoursonearth-writes]

Can you recommend fanfiction that you personally really like?

Yes! Love this ask. I’ve never made a Zutara fic rec list partially because I’ve read so many wonderful stories over time that I find the prospect daunting! 

But there are absolutely certain stories that I have a personal soft spot for, that I return to again and again. And that’s my criteria for what’s included below. This is a sampling of fics that I find myself coming back to, in no particular order. I may come back and add more, because this list is so far from exhaustive. A mix of ratings (marked), so keep that in mind.

Wish I Was the Moon by Like a Dove (T), post-canon: There’s so much that I love about the way this one-shot explores Katara’s character and what she faces post-canon, how she frees herself, strikes out in the world and finds her way home. Her feelings for Zuko, and her inner-conflict around them, are rendered tangibly, both through scene and subtext. A really good example of how an author can show a character’s lack of/journey to self-knowledge without breaking voice.

Refraction by caroes3725 (E), post-canon: When I started reading Zutara fanfic (for me this was in 2020), this was the fic I was looking for—a deep, realistic-to-canon, in-character exploration of how Zutara could unfold after the events of ATLA in a way that gives Katara in particular the arc she deserves. Really well-done development of the Fire Nation court world, well-developed characters, shining dialogue. An amazingly well-worth-it slow burn.

Wildfire by rainstormdragon (E), post-canon: To me this story is kind of a steamy Zutara thesis. The characters are so spot on and alive, their flaws are on full display in a way that feels realistic, and their chemistry is powered by their compatibility—matched in passion and stubbornness, and also in what they want from life. And I think it really gets Aang, too, which is something that can be hard to find in ZK fic. Also really hot, but that's only part of what makes it really shine.

Partners in Learning by evergreenonthehorizon (T), Modern AU: One of the things I love in modern AUs is watching an author weave that invisible string between these characters. Sometimes, it’s by writing narrative arcs that parallel the series, and sometimes it’s by drawing out the personality traits that make the characters both lovable to readers and such a compelling match and watching that spark bloom into flame. This beautifully written story does that so, so well in a really compelling Modern AU setting. Zuko and Katara here are so wonderfully lovable, and it’s a joy to watch them fall for one another, too.

Journeys by Smediterranea (E), Modern AU: In real life, I want to see my friends in relationships with people who can recognize why they’re so particularly amazing. That potential, I think, part of the appeal of ZK as a ship, and that’s part of the special magic of this fic. Watching these two characters get to know one another—really see one another—and fall in love deliciously sweeps the reader up. Plus, really fun, in character cameos from the rest of the Gaang along the way.

Spark, set fire by marijayne (T), Modern AU: literary fanfic, and I mean that in the best way. This story is beautiful and bittersweet, the latter is not often something I seek out in fanfic (where I hide from life), but here it’s gorgeous and worth it. The world building here is really cool—allows the author to explore some of a set of cultural issues/interactions that both echo the ATLA world and ours. The characters are so tenderly drawn (dadko especially)—and the connection between them builds beautifully and tangibly—and the longing is…chef’s kiss. 

Wrong when it's right by nire (T), Book 1 Canon Divergence: Before I read this, I couldn't imagine wanting to read a Book 1 Zutara. After, I wanted more. Bickering, bed-roll sharing, shared heat, tenderness and common ground. A delight from start to finish.

Anyway, thanks for asking and happy reading! <3 And if you want more recs, let me know.

[terresdebrume]

I think I want to point at the elephant in the room today

The problem when we have the ever more frequent conversation of how to keep a fandom alive after the show it's based on stops airing is that we tend talk about it in a way that ignores the very real differences between the juggernauts of old fandoms like Star Trek and newer shows like Dead Boy Detectives, namely:

1. The difference in amount of material

2. The accessibility of said material

Part of the reason why Star Trek or The X-Files still have active fans so long after they aired is because those shows had multiple seasons with an average of 20 episodes each. For the X-Files' 11 seasons that's about 200 episodes each with their own storylines, themes, interesting ideas and frustrating mistakes right there to inspire Fanart, fic, meta, and any number of fanwork. I'm not even going to do the math on Star Trek: this show got about a bazillion shows

Dead Boy Detectives, and a lot of genre shows nowadays have like... Eight episodes. Ten, if we're lucky. Fandoms for procedurals or more broadly appealing shows fare better (Lone Star comes to mind, or sitcoms for example) because networks tend to keep them online longer, but genre series get ever shorter with ever fewer opportunities to really grow an audience... Think of all the shows that got popular on Tumblr in the past few years and tell me how many got a proper season? Shadow and Bones was cancelled. My Lady Jane: one season. Gentleman Jack, two (three?). Good Omens: maybe 3, depending on how the network handle the Gaiman situation. The Umbrella Academy got four seasons. Stranger Things, with 5 seasons and 42 episodes managed to equate roughly 2 seasons of the X-Files (probably not even that if you account for episode length). The Witcher currently has 3 seasons for 24 episodes.

Contrast this to shows like Dead Boy Detectives with, again, eight episodes. Maybe 16 if we get really lucky, but I'm not holding my breath. This is just materially WAY LESS soil for a fandom to grow in. It's not that people aren't motivated, it's that as much as you want to keep it going, there's only so much to say about 8 episodes! George Rexstrew, who plays one of the leads, even recently admitted that he's running out of things to say about his performance, and who can blame him? So after a while, you gotta turn to AU which by definition are always going to be potential hits and misses, since they diverge from what brought people to the show in the first place.

I know we're all real good at spinning yarn but sometimes it gets really hard not to run out of fiber.

As for accessibility: the Big Olds benefitted from two things. One, they were broadcast on much wider-reaching channels, if not from the start, then when they eventually made it on public networks. They had a regular play time, and you could stumble onto them by accident, this getting interested and picking it up. And two: the popular shows had a decent chance of getting tape or DVD sets, which made them easier to own and show to your friends so they could binge the story and join you in the fandom

By comparison, look at the barrier of access for Dead Boy Detectives:

Need to have a Netflix account

Need to see it somewhere in your recommendation (good luck if you come in more than a month after it released)

Need to see people talk about it as they binge (need to be in the right place at the right time, and by that I mean where fandom happens since Netflix has a habit of doing zero advertising for new shows)

Need to keep paying for a Netflix account if you wanna rewatch, or figure out how to do a piracy, which is getting more difficult and riskier every year

Need to be willing to get invested in a forever unfinished story

And when on top of that the writing in the first episode is, let's say it frankly, far from the best, that is a LOT of obstacle to overcome for a pretty small sandbox

So like, yeah, sure, we should be willing to keep making a fandom happen after a show ends, but at some point we can't ignore that the effort it takes to keep fandoms alive is getting way more intense than it used to be

[animsid]

I hope you don't mind, but now that I've finally found someone who's listening to Magnus Protocol but hasn't listened to Magnus Archives I will be studying you like a bug under a magnifying glass. I've been dying to know how the show hits from a non archives perspective. So in that vein, if you don't mind me questioning you, what are your overall thoughts on the show so far? Also what's it like seeing the fandom response from people who have listened to archives? Have you been successful in avoiding spoilers?

Honestly I’ve been loving Protocol.

I’m not 100% sure what to translate since I don’t know what Archives context I’m missing, but I can try to tell you what I really like about Protocol.

I really do love the format of Protocol. It’s mostly an office drama story, which on its own is appealing, but the statements from FR3-D1 put in each episode gives the story this underlying horror aspect to it. So when I listen to an episode, often times if the statement portion feels lacking, the office drama really brings up the episode and the vice versa.

Then things start to get a lot more creepier when the two intersect (The Magnus Institute, Mr. Bonzo, Lady Mowbray, the Drowning Victim, the Archivist, etc.) and by this point in the story, we’re so close to having a full merge.

Since this is my first real dive into horror podcasts, I do want to engage with the fan community, but it’s hard to balance being spoiler-free at the same time. I do know some general spoilers that I haven’t updated in a while, but is mostly still accurate. I don’t know what an Archivist is, but I am aware that AU versions of Archives characters have made their debut here.

I am aware that Protocol is going a lot faster than Archives. From what I understand of Archives, it has a lot more slow build up rather than Protocol which I has a pretty good pace. Might be because Protocol has less than half the episodes as Archives.

It’s really interesting how the fandom keeps losing their minds over stuff that I’m just like “yeah cool let’s see where that goes”. Like E26 where the Archivist was named, I felt like I took on the perspective of Alice/Gwen/Sam where I’m like “okay… and this means what?” while the rest of the fandom is taking the Celia perspective of “OH NO”.

Or even this recent episode where this Minister Trevor Herbert dude was. Like I have no idea what this dude is and why everyone is absolutely screaming, crying, throwing up that he’s here, and that is fascinating.

It’s been pretty interesting when I bring up something that felt weird or off that just went nowhere, and my friends revealing some info. I’m like “WHAT” and they’re just like “oh thats not common knowledge?” And I’m just there like “huh?!?” Which turns out, the Hilltop Centre was actually important.

I mostly wish the fandom would tag archives spoilers with #tma /#the Magnus archives / #tma vague just so that spoilers could be tagged a little bit better, but to be fair I am one of the rare people that doesn’t intersect the Venn diagram between archives and protocol.

But overall, I really am loving Protocol. I don’t know when I’ll listen to Archives (probably after Protocol’s three seasons are over) but I will listen to it eventually. Feel free to send more asks my way.