#tw: neglectful parents
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SUPERNATURAL 4.04 ⼠Metamorphosis 9.07 ⼠Bad Boys
#m*#dean winchester#john winchester's a+ parenting#spn#supernatural#spnedit#horrortvfilmsource#horror#horroredit#tvedit#dailyflicks#cinemapix#cinematv#userlgbtq#userrlaura#deanncastiel#ughmerlin#jennmish#usersavana#userange#mialook#spn e: metamorphosis#spn s4#spn e: bad boys#spn s9#tw child neglect
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Parents really do traumatize you and then force you to reparent yourself instead of being a capable human being who can contribute to society like a normal person. Sorry I can't get a well paying job right now I'm trying to learn coping mechanisms.
#i will never care if you reblog#vent#tw vent#cw vent#parentification#toxic parents#emotional trauma#trauma#childhood trauma#trauma coping#childhood emotional neglect#eldest daughter syndrome#eldest daughter#parentified child#childhood neglect#thoughts to throw into the void
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Does Mr. Turner like rubbing his âsonâsâ successful career in Dinklebergâs face??
He does! He brags about Timmy's success to every person within the neighborhood's vicinity. Mr. Turner loves how successful his son is! It really secures his reputation at the neighborhood HOA meetings they host at their house.
Timmy's worked very hard to gain more successes than failures. The more successful he is, the greater his family's social standing!! And the less he gets to overhear his dad ranting to the neighborhood about his failures.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#timmy turner#chimmy changa#asks#raven with a pocketwatch#itty bitties fop au#tw parental neglect#<- ask to tag#using the neighborhood gossip is a very good way to reign in your son when he gets too cocky or proud for your liking.#but its also a good way to boost your social standing!! wow!! the joys of reaping the rewards from someone else's hard work!#by contrast mrs. turner doesnt mention his successes to her friends#which timmy does appreciate somewhat but she also doesnt really. give him much of anything.#so.#cant really tell whats worse. the oversharing or the ignoring.#timmy's parents hosts a LOT of events at their house#so he's usually juggling like. hundreds of tasks at once.#he has to get the drinks the plates the food the clean up watch the kids get more drinks respond to his dad's calls handle 3 conversations#prevent his mom from offering him to clean her friends yards stop that kid from spilling ketchup over the grass catch the loose dog#get more drinks for his dad watch the grill avoid the aunt's mlm scheme pitches reject the neighbor's pitch for a potential girlfriend-#all while picking up work calls and scheduling office hours and fixing his coworkers' mistakes and emailing clients and and-#....which is all to say that timmy does most of the hosting. while his parents partake in the celebrating and partying.#man. you'd think doing this for 20 years you'd be able to handle stress
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Finally Getting Help (pt 14)
 Masterpost
âDo you want to go back to the manor, or do you want to go somewhere else?â Jason asked Danny after a few quiet minutes driving.Â
âCan we go out of Gotham? Somewhere quiet,â Jason hummed and nodded before switching the com on. âHey Bruce, will you kill me if I take Danny camping for tonight?â He asked, he knew Danny loved the stars, being away from Gothamâs pollution for a night and getting to properly see the stars would probably help.Â
There was a pause and then Bruceâs soft response. âNo, I know youâll take care of him, Jaylad. Will you stop by the manor so Alfred can make sure you have everything you need?â
âYa Iâll do that, will you call him to make sure he has stuff ready for us? Probably a car too since I donât think I can fit a tent and provisions on the back of my bike,â Jason chuckled.Â
âDonât you worry Master Jason, we have a motorcycle trailer I shall pack for you,â Alfred said over the coms.
Jason had forgotten that Alfred was on the coms as Agent A. âThanks A,â Jason said and then turned off the radio again. âDoes that sound good Danny? Weâll probably have to wait a bit for Alfred to pack up some food for us and stuff but getting out of Gotham overnight, being able to see the skyâŚ?â
âYa, ya Jason that sounds perfect. Thank you,â Danny said, squeezing Jason gently and snuggled against his back.
They pulled up outside the manor and Jason kicked down his bike stand so they could both get off. âDo you want to go in and pack some clothes or stay out here?â Jason asked as he got off and leaned against his bike still.
âI donât want to go in,â Danny said quickly. Jason knew the feeling, where being surrounded by walls felt like a trap.Â
âAlright, do you mind Alfie grabbing some clothes for you then?â He asked.
âNo, I donât mind,â Danny assured. âIâm looking forward to getting away from people. Iâm glad not to have to be a hero anymore honestly, but I havenât used my ghost form in a couple weeks and I want to Fly,â He said. âNothing clears my head like flying as fast as I can.â
âYa I can imagine. Bruce should introduce you to some of the supers, it would be good for you to spar with someone you can go all out with,â Jason said crossing his arms, not missing the way Dannyâs eyes lingered on his biceps, smirking a little at Dannyâs moment of distraction.
âYa, it would probably be good for me to get some training with my powers too. Mom taught both me and Jazz martial arts when we were kids, before things got bad, but that was a while ago and before I got my powers.â Danny said a little vaguely.Â
Jason nodded and was about to respond when he heard a soft motor, looking up to see Alfred driving a cart over to them, towing a small trailer towards them that no doubt had everything they needed for their camping trip. Maybe even enough from a weekend away in case Danny needed more time.Â
âIâm sure you have a relatively secure location in mind, Master Jason?â Alfred asked once he came to a halt.
âYa I do, Gonna get as far away from civilization as I can within a dayâs drive,â He told Alfred who gave a thin smile and nodded.
âVery good, be safe you too,â Alfred said, stepping back again.
âWe will, thank you Alfred,â Danny said with a little smile, going to stand by the bike, letting Jason get on first again before sitting down behind him again and hugged him.
âYa, donât worry about us,â Jason assured as he put his helmet back on and kicked off, speeding back out of the manor drive before anyone else got home. They were probably dawdling to give Jason and Danny time to get out again, he appreciated it, he didnât think Dick in particular would be able to stop himself from questioning Danny. Even though he would only have the best intentions and all that but now wasnât the time.
It was a decently long drive to the nearest national park, where Jason went off-roading and in the back. He would make a donation later, he just didnât want anyone to be able to track that this was where they were. Taking Danny this far away from Gotham and the other Bats was already a bit of a risk with Vlad still at large but Jason had the specter-deflector and blaster Danny gave him with them and he hadnât told anyone where they were going, theyâd be fine. He was good at off-roading and judging from the giggling from Danny he was enjoying the off-road motorbike ride.Â
When they were far enough away from the road no one was likely to see them there was a bright flash behind Jason and the weight of his bike shifted. He almost panicked Danny had fallen off before he caught movement to his side and glanced over to see Danny, now with white hair and green eyes, grinning at him impishly and racing along at his side flying fast.
âRace you!â Danny said, his voice had an odd echoing chime to it in this form but it was still recognizably his. There was plausible deniability about his identity though, sure as hell more than there was for superman but maybe they should still find him a mask.
âYouâre on! But no just going through the trees! If I have to dodge, so do you!â Jason laughed.
âYou got it!â Danny cheered.
Jason knew he was going to lose, but it was good to see Danny smiling, pinging between trees like a fucking ping-pong ball with pent up energy from not having used his powers at all for more then a week. Working out all the nerves and jitters as Jason raced along behind him trying to keep up.
Jason thought it was probably an hour of flying/driving before they came to a bank of a lake, he had to turn his bike sideways and skid to not slip into the water as Danny laughed at him.Â
âThis seems like a good place to set up camp huh?â Danny said, his feet finally touching the ground again. Another bright flash made Jason blink and Danny was his black haired, blue eyes self again. âDo you think Alfred packed us swim suits?âÂ
-------
They unpacked everything Alfred had sent them, set up the tent far enough back from the lake they couldnât be seen across it, and laughed about the amount of food heâd sent them. It was enough to feed an entire team for a week! Still it was good food, and Danny was particularly excited about a chicken soup heâd sent in a metal container that could be heated up over a fire.Â
Once they were unpacked Jason went to grab firewood, leaving Danny alone in the camp to take his binder off and change his shirt since that one still had jelly on it from the ultrasound. By the time he came back Danny had changed into a hoodie so his chest was barely visible, only when Danny absently rubbed it. When Danny caught Jason staring he gave the other man a shy smile and darted over to steal a kiss, taking half the wood to help Jason carry it to the fire-pit.Â
Jason set about making a fire while Danny went back to the lake, wading in the shallows since they didnât have their swimsuits. It was too cool out for an ordinary human to swim anyway, though Danny would probably be fine.
Jason glanced over now and then, watching Dannyâs figure as he strolled along the shore, pants rolled up and ankles swishing through the green water without a sound. He piled kindling and lit it easily, stoking the fire and adding bigger logs, sitting back and waiting for some coals to develop while he set up their little camping grill. Once he could pull out some coals he did, put the grill over them and set the food on that to heat.Â
When the food started to smell good Danny came wandering back over and sat down cross legged next to Jason, leaning against his shoulder. âAlfredâs the best cook in the family,â Jason said as he stirred the food, the soup which was just for Danny, and a chili and rice. âBut Iâm a pretty damn good cook too, if I do say so myself, you should come over to my place for dinner some time. Iâd like to cook for you,â He admitted, it was always a way he showed affection.
âIâd like that,â Danny said, his eyes fixed on the fire and a small smile on his lips. His presence at Jasonâs side was comforting and cool. He still seemed like he was a little bit out of it, bouncing back and forth between energy and lethargy, denial and grief probably. Jason had resolved not to say anything until after food, things tended to seem less dire with a stomach full of good food.
Once the food was steaming he used his gloves to pull the grill off the fire, nudging Danny to shuffle away so he could put it down between them. With the spoons heâd used to stir still in them.Â
âDo you want to share?â Danny asked, trying to hide his reluctance, which was sweet.
âIf you want to, but if not the soup is all yours,â Jason assured.
âThanks. I guess I am eating for three now,â Danny chuckled a little bitterly before he grabbed the spoon and started to eat, blowing carefully on each bite so it wouldnât be too hot.Â
They ate in silence, Danny quickly finished off all the soup, which would have been enough for two people but Danny ate a lot. Heâd need to eat more before bed no doubt. Alfred had still packed them why too much food but maybe there was a method to his madness anyway. Jason finished most of the Chili and then pushed the rest towards Danny who gave him a sheepish smile but finished that off too.Â
Jason moved the grill out from between them and Danny scooted closer to Jason again. When he lifted his arm Danny ducked under it so Jason could drape his arm over Dannyâs shoulders, keeping the shorter man tucked against his side. âSo, do you feel up to talking now?â Jason asked softly and Danny sighed, turning his head to hide his face against Jasonâs shoulder for a moment.Â
âYa,â He muttered resignedly when he came out of hiding. âItâs not really the babies this time. I mean ya I was still sort of in denial about actually being pregnant and seeing it made it real so that was a lot, but I had already mostly processed it. I want the babies, weâll set up a nursery at the manor, Iâll have support, hell Bruce would probably even hire a nanny if we need. Iâll be able to finish school, itâs justâŚâ He trailed off for a moment.
âYou know, when I was born my dad was a little disappointed, they loved me but theyâd wanted a daughter and a son. When I was assigned female at birth and they didnât want any more kids, he was a little disappointed. When I came out as trans they were So Excited. My dad kept talking about how he knew Iâd taken after him! I was going to be a âbig manâ after all. He couldnât seem to understand that even though I was a man it hadnât changed my biology. They were so supportive, my mom Screamed at a teacher who made me cry misgendering me, got them fired.Â
âThey werenât always bad parents, there were always good days. Ya theyâd retreat into their lab for days at a time and weâd have to fend for ourselves, they left guns and chemicals all over the place. I Know they werenât good parents, but they still loved us, and I loved them. And despite everything half of me really wants them to know their grandkids, wanted my mom to be there holding his hands and have my dad come bursting through the wall because heâs so excited to be a grandpa,â Danny sniffled a little.Â
âIâll be a better parent then they were by miles, but itâs sort of scary to know that love isnât always enough. People who love you⌠still hurt you. Itâs not fair that the good parts are all tangled up in the bad parts, and the bad parts are to bad to let anywhere near me or the babies, especially with the whole, half ghost thing.âÂ
âYa, itâs not,â Jason sighed, biting his lip for a moment before clearing his throat. âBefore Bruce took me in, before I was an orphan, my mom was an addict. Dad was in prison, it was just the two of us. On her good days she taught me to cook, she sang me lullabies, taught me Spanish.â He trailed off and sighed. âOn her bad days she was too high to move, or unconscious. Sheâs be that way for days until the drugs ran out, Iâd make sure she ate, try and keep the place clean, hell I had to help her go to the washroom. And I did it, because I was holding on to that last good day, and hoping for the next one. Even when the good days came less and less often near the end.
âKids love their parents, even when they donât deserve it. When the parent loves them too a kid can forgive just about any failing and dismiss all the hurt the parents cause because âpeople who love you wouldnât hurt youâ. Truth is the people who love you can often hurt you the worst, because you let them into your head, and rationalize everything they do. So if they hurt you, that must be what love feels like.â
âWhat do you think love feels like?â Danny asked, voice soft and vulnerable.Â
âWell, for me I guess I learned what love really felt like when I moved in with Bruce,â though he was loathed to admit it. âWhen heâd carry me up to bed even though he knew I was only pretending to be asleep, heâd go slow so he could hold me a bit longer because he knew thatâs what I really wanted. When he stayed home from patrol with me because I was sick and I wanted comfort, or remembered where my favourite gargoyle was so he could come find me when I was upset. And Alfred, teaching me to cook his family recipes and making me tea when I woke up in the middle of the night with nightmares, never seeming put out he was losing sleep.
âLove is⌠warm, and forgiving, willing to give you what you need without resenting it. Of course Bruce wasnât perfect, stubborn, moralistic, self important bastard.â Danny let out an amused snort as Jason continued. âBut⌠I know he did his best, and he never abandoned me. Even when I was dying I knew he was on his way, it sucked that he didnât get there in time, but I never believed he abandoned me because I knew he never would.â
âI guess thatâs Jazz for me. Sheâs only two years older than me, but she was always there, she showed me how to do just about everything. I thought it was annoying that she was always after me about doing my homework and stuff, but it means she really cared. Not just when she remembered to, or didnât have anything better to do.Â
âI guess Iâm a little scared of that too. Now that I have a safe home, and sheâs 18, sheâs going to go to university and make new friends. She knows Iâm safe now, so what if she doesnât⌠care as much anymore?â Danny asked.
âThatâs not going to happen,â Jason said immediately. âShe might be around a bit less, but she wonât care any less. Thatâs what siblings are like. I should know, I have enough of them,â he joked and Danny gave a wet laugh.Â
âYa, she deserves to have her own life anyway,â Danny said, but he seemed calmer. They sat in a comfortable silence, watching the sunset across the lake, it was beautiful.
âSooo, how do you think you want to decorate the nursery?â Jason asked and saw Danny smile.
âIâll tell you in a minute, now that itâs dark thereâs one more thing I have to do to feel better,â He said sardonically, ducking out from under Jasonâs arm and standing. âCover your ears,â he directed as he walked over to the lake.
Jason was confused, but he did as Danny asked as the other transformed into his ghost form. At the edge of the lake he took a deep breath and Wailed, the water exploded up around him forced back by the sound. Jason clamped his hands over his ears more firmly as the sound ricocheted around his skull, it was such a pure rage, fear, and sorrow he could Feel it bubbling in him as well, like it was more feeling than sound. Jason didnât know how long it was before Danny stopped, collapsing to his knees and changing back into human form, breathing hard.Â
Hesitantly Jason uncovered his ears and after a moment Danny took a deep breath and came back over to him, collapsing next to him by the fire. âOkay for the nursery I was thinking of a celestial theme.âÂ
They talked for a long time about what Danny wanted for the nursery at the manor. When Jason worked up the courage to suggest if they were still going strong in a few months they should set up a second nursery in his apartment. So Danny could come visit with the babies more easily once they were born, they moved on to plans for that hypothetical. They decided on a forest theme for that one, Jason was looking forward to it. He loved kids, and ya he and Danny were new but he had a really good feeling about this.
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#dc x dp#danny phantom#jason todd#batman#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#trans!Danny#danny is pregnant#tw dysphoria#discussion of parental neglect#tw neglect#character study#dead on main#fanfiction
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Friendly reminder that "I bought you nice things", "I gave you food and a roof over your head" and "I've never hit/physically hurt you" does not justify emotional abuse, neglect or parentification.
And if when being confronted they make you feel guilty and get defensive and passive aggressive saying some variant of "Oh well I must've been such a terrible parent!" and tell you how they bought you nice things for your birthdays and how your basic needs were met, that does not make your feelings and trauma invalid. You're not a bad person or ungrateful for feeling hurt.
#tw mentions of abuse#c ptsd#parental abuse#neglect#emotional neglect#parentification#tw parental abuse
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DP x DC: Loser Baby
So the thing is, tonally John Constantine is probably not a great match for Danny in lighter funnier fics
Donât get me wrong, John can have his lighter moments, especially in crossovers, and heâs got a sense of humor
But
Hellblazer lore is dense and weird, but more importantly itâs DARK
Like, extremely
John is a deeply traumatized man, people around him get hurt, he spent three years inpatient at a psychiatric facility. Thereâs a story line where heâs a homeless alcoholic who makes friends with a rent-boy and shows a grim reality of life on the street, substance abuse, addiction, and sex work. It also ends with Johnâs demon blood eating the face off of the King of Vampires who happens to look like James Dean
Thatâs not even getting into the serial killer plot or the multiple trips to hell
Sins of the Father involves John being forced to confront the soul of his father in hell, a man who was terribly abusive and blamed John for the death of his mother who died while giving birth to him, which given information revealed during this comic turns out to be very misplaced.
However, makes him a good fit for a âJack and Maddie are Bad Parentsâ fic, and/or a dissection fic
And it would basically play out like âLoser Babyâ from Hazbin Hotel
youtube
Because it is a shitty situation. Coming to terms with neglect, the trauma of them rejecting him for an aspect of himself he canât change Phantom Planet does not exist and the emotional and physical trauma of a dissection, and then being homeless and having to find a way to survive on his own
But John can empathize and understand
His own trauma may be different but he gets it, can relate to it, and can say âmate, situation is fucked to all hell but you donât need to be alone because of thatâ
And thatâs not even getting into the trauma of dealing with supernatural weirdness, which frankly they would both understand pretty well
Just two traumatized people bonding and saying âyes, we may be damaged goods, but weâre not broken and we arenât aloneâ
#danny phantom#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#dpxdc#danny fenton#writing#writing prompt#bad parents jack and maddie#tw abuse#tw neglect#but do you see my vision??#two traumatized people bonding#they may be damaged but they arenât broken#Youtube
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#abuse survivor#toxic family#emotional abuse#dysfunctional family#toxic mom#toxic parents#ptsdlife#ptsd awareness#ptsd recovery#childhood ptsd#actually ptsd#ptsd vent#complex ptsd#ptsd#tw abuse#childhood neglect#cw neglect#neglectful parents#child neglect#emotional neglect#parental neglect#tw neglect#abandoment issues#abandoned#mommy issues
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If youâre threatened by the concept of children distancing themselves from their abusive parents, maybe you need to take a look at what type of parent you are. If you truly were raising your kids well, youâd have nothing to worry about.
DNI if you believe in cluster B abuse.
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having parents that are nothing more than unfriendly strangers wearing familiar voices that say familiar things makes you wonder if there was ever any such thing as home.
it makes you wonder what it might be like to have a bad day and have someone you can call or talk to. what it might be like to have someone you can to for advice or comfort. what it might be like to have a shoulder or lap you can finally rest your head on. what it might be like to have a bowl of cut fruit that spells out unconditional love.
some days i find myself looking for home even when i donât know what to look for.
#heartbreak#i'm just so tired#orphan#angst#journal#my thoughts#my writing#letters i will never send#abusive parents#tw: abuse#abusive household#distant parents#emotionally exhausted#emotional neglect#where is home and is it mine#whatâs that one quote thatâs like#i need a mother a father some older wiser being to talk to
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"People ignore that Turo/Sada neglected Arven just because they loved him in the end" No. I revel in it. I live for the tragic beauty of love not lost to the void but lost on its path. I adore stories of a child who felt unloved realizing that they were adored so much that their parent tried to give them the world and in doing so forgot to give them themselves. The graceful pain of a well-intended heart, golden at its core yet covered in muck and grime and too far out of reach to ever be polished clean again. I find joy in stories of closure, of a character finding out that they can let go of their past pains and find something else, something to clothe their broken heart in that is not made of the barbed wire of grief and loneliness. Turo/Sada's love for Arven was true and warm like the sun, but only ever visible to him as a cold and distant star.
#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon scarlet and violet spoilers#professor turo#professor sada#arven#tw neglectful parent
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Generally speaking, your parents often owe you a lot more than you're taught to believe. A lot of people are raised to believe that parents do not really owe you that much beyond food and shelter and that's not true. In fact, you can have parents who give you food, shelter, patience and kindness and STILL deserve more from them.
By being your parents, they've accepted a very special relationship and amount of responsibility for you. Do you know how many people I know whose parents have never genuinely apologized to them? How many peopleâs parents physically hurt them, how many peopleâs parents mock their insecurities, how many peopleâs parents donât care for their childrenâs health, how many parents make their children (intentionally or otherwise) want to die?Â
And so many people donât give a fuck. Weâre raised in cultures that more often than not treat us to respect our parents in spite of most anything while also teaching everyone that children donât deserve shit. Weâre raised in cultures that more often than not teach us to ârespect our parentsâ in spite of most anything while also teaching everyone that children donât really deserve shit. It varies but its so common that lots of people donât even think twice about it.Â
But children DO deserve more than theyâre generally given. So much more! And so many things that are literally just abusive are considered normal parenting all around the world and thatâs vile, especially considering children are the most severely affected by this and have no âsocietal powerâ to wield to put a stop to it beyond what they can scramble together through a combination of sheer determination, shock value, strength and fucking luck.Â
Not to sound radical, but I think we owe children a fuck ton more than theyâre being given now and I think people need to learn so much more about abuse and how that ties into the common underplaying of what weâre owed in parent/child relationships.Â
#parenting#Abuse#Tw abuse#child abuse tw#tw verbal abuse#tw suicide mention#Depression#Neglect tw#Parental Neglect#punkstyle#physical abuse tw#childcare??#dunno what else to tag this#whatever
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I'm going to sit down and try to explain this with patience, to everyone who still thinks calling out narcissistic abuse is 'ableist' or 'dehumanizing to the narcissists', and that abuse is something we're all equally capable of.
I don't think you understand what narcissistic abuse is, or how it differs from the other kinds of abuse. We can agree that all and any abuse is damaging, traumatic and scarring, but narcissistic abuse is so extremely pervasive, hidden, strategic and unbelievable, to the point where I can't honestly tell it's something any regular human would be capable of. And even more than this, the survivors of this particular type of abuse have found it extremely, extremely difficult to figure out they've been abused, even when they've been put through extreme, devastating, and absolutely dehumanizing scenarios. Realizing that your loved one is a narcissist requires your entire world to break down, and every piece of your heart shatters in the realization, and it takes months, even years to accept it.
The only way we can possibly figure it out is to connect the patterns. And patterns of the narcissistic abuse are focused on erasing one's own sense of self, one's perspective and ultimately, complete control over someone's emotions and behaviours. This is often done from early on, the grooming process starts at age zero, your value, worth and usefulness is determined by them, and you cannot wrangle yourself free from it on your own, not without someone confirming to you that you've been held captive, that your free will has been taken a long time ago.
Unfortunately, I have to give some examples, because I don't think it can be explained otherwise. When I was 2 years old, a narcissistic person found it a nuisance to watch over me, and they beat me up every time I disobeyed. I was a toddler. Then they proceeded to convince me that I was a demon, and would burn in hell regardless of what I do for the rest of my life. I've been brainwashed by this person to believe I was not a human being, had no human rights, that it was correct and regular for me to be locked up, beaten, and that it was my fault every single time, even when I did all that was asked of me. This person then had me comfort them after they would beat me, because it was a stressful experience for them. I wasn't allowed to cry. I would be beaten for making a face expression they didn't like. It was random and unexplainable.
Another narcissistic person created a game where they would give me wrong instructions for a task, then torture me when I did exactly as they instructed me to. It got to a point where I would beg them to tell me what to do correctly, and they would respond with a laughing 'you should be old enough to know this' and they would be even happier to beat me up and scream at me for getting it wrong. This person not only threatened to kill me regularly, but often made me believe I was in my last few seconds of life, putting me in position where I believed I was about to die. They forced me to work for them in unsafe conditions, heavy physical jobs, where I was not allowed to say I'm tired, not allowed to cry, and even after I'd do everything, they would still tell me I didn't deserve to eat. I was a child. I didn't think for a second I was being abused. I was already brainwashed to believe that everyone else had it worse, and that I was lucky.
I had no identity besides existing for them, I had no free will except to try and make myself into something they could use, and if I didn't do a good enough job, I'd be ostracized. They loved beating me, screaming at me and making me cry, and then they'd leave me in a room crying without being allowed to make any noise, while they laughed in the room next to me, as a family, loudly so I could hear what a great time they were having. They would treat other children gently in front of me in order to try and make me jealous. They would revise every part of what they did to me if I ever tried to bring it up. I wasn't allowed my own perspective, opinion, or complaint. I wasn't even allowed to remember the abuse correctly. I would be locked in a room and questioned and punished if my opinions weren't to their liking.
I don't believe this is something anyone is capable of doing. I don't believe anyone of us is capable of torturing a kid until the kid begs to be killed. I don't believe most of us are capable of erasing a child's point of view, their reality, their humanity to the point where the child is forced to live a life where they will either comply or be killed, and they will be tortured no matter what. This isn't a regular thing that a person can easily do.
Luckily, us who have been through this, have noticed that there is a specific pattern to their behaviour. That they use almost identical phrases with which their invoke guilt, fear and hopelessness. That they can go frighteningly fast from rage to laughter to acting hurt. That they enforce their will over ours with a specific type of terror that triggers both our survival instincts and our compassion and shame. That we've been groomed by them in an almost identical way - to not believe that we're allowed our own feelings, memories, opinions, point of view, or freedom. That we have learned to exist only to be an extension of them.
We also all noticed that we're all absolutely, beyond terrified of them, and that we don't feel we're allowed to say it, or think it. That we're taught by terror to keep believing that they're good people, that they do none of it on purpose, not even the most extreme, insane, egregious abuse. That they will go to any length, even committing more atrocities, to escape accountability. That they use tactics of darvo, gaslighting, double-bind, planting insecurities, triangulating, future faking, discarding, love bombing, mirroring, smear campaigns, projection, scapegoating, silencing, throwing tantrums, victim playing, like it's in their second nature. That they're genuinely, absolutely terrifying and almost unreal in how far they're capable of going. And most of all, that they are dangerous, and capable of completely turning another human being into their puppet, and never think for a second that it might be wrong. To them, we are nothing more but toys to manipulate, control, and discard. We are disposable. There is no limit to what they can do to us, because to them, we are not alive. They would do to us what normal people wouldn't do to a corpse. And they feel superior for it.
People abused by narcissists from early age are likely to develop the most complex and extreme disorders, complex ptsd and dissociative identity disorder being some of them, because that's what it takes to survive being a child and existing next to a narcissist. This means that small children need to be shattered in pieces in order to please the narcissist. Others that are very common are eating disorders, anxiety, depression, paranoia, avoidant personality disorder, panic disorder, and compulsions to cater to everyone's needs, to the point of our own destruction. This is what they make of us, on purpose, in order for us to be of use to them. And they will forever insist it's their right.
When I'm saying the word 'narcissist', I am not referring to 'anyone diagnosed with npd', I am referring to a person who will do this to a child, and insist on doing it for the rest of the child's life. I am writing it because I don't want children to have to live like this forever. I am not aiming to dehumanize the narcissist, their actions show who they are, I am saying, be careful and aware that this person will dehumanize you. That you are disposable to them. That making you feel good in order for you to like them, is a game to them, and one they're very good at. That playing the victim at you and demanding justice, will easily manipulate you into standing against the victims of abuse and talking down to them for 'dehumanizing their abusers', and being 'ableist to the npd', after being tortured past the point of return by those people.
A lot of us are permanently damaged by what's been done to us. We are not asking for justice. We're not asking for revenge. We are asking to be safe. We're asking for this to stop. We're asking for children not to be left alone with people who are dangerous to this level. We're asking you to understand that a narcissist left alone with a child means a child in danger.
It's common to not be aware just how bad it can go, because we think that most humans know not to torture a child. We believe that nobody would do things to children that narcissists do. If you read the stories of the survivors, you'll find out what actually happens behind closed doors. The themes of torture, dehumanization, sexual abuse, brainwashing, violence, and extreme cruelty are common, even towards toddlers.
I need you to not attack those children when they grow up and say they no longer want to be around narcissists. I need you to understand that they know what they're talking about when they say it's not safe, that they want to be protected. The society already failed to protect them at their most vulnerable, and they had to make it alive by their wits alone. And now you won't even let them speak without attacking them? It's inexcusable.
If you want to know about the narcissists, read what their victims have gone through. Then make a judgment on whether we're allowed to speak, and whether it's worth warning others to hold caution. I've heard and read stories of narcissistic parents sex-trafficking their own child, holding them captive and locked up and convincing them it's right to do this, using brutal punishments to 'train' them into inhumane slave-like behaviour, keeping the children in state so terrified the children wished they were dead. And in all those cases, they still convinced the children to love their parents, and to never blame them for any kind of abuse. Yes, even in the sex-trafficking cases.
Fighting for those children to realize that they didn't deserve that, is the only correct thing to do. Fighting to help them realize they're in danger, and that they deserve safely, it's not only right but extremely necessary, it's what we all should be putting all of our energy into.
Wanting to keep others safe will never be wrong. Wanting to protect those who still have their identity, their sense of self, their undamaged humanity, their free will and their point of view, that's worth fighting for! And above all, those who already lost it all, need to be protected. We cannot allow for already badly wounded people to be dehumanized over and over again. Nobody deserves that.
#narcissistic abuse#tw child abuse#tw child trafficking mention#narcissistic parents#toxic parents#psychological abuse#taking children's identity and self perception#to train them into personal toys and disposable puppets#while neglecting the children to the point where children don't realize they have the right to feelings#or even to exist without the parent's approval#devastating abuse#abuse
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One of the worst realizations that I have ever made is realizing that all I ever wanted was to be loved by my parents. I never would've turned out like this if they just loved me unconditionally.
#i will never care if you reblog#vent#tw vent#cw vent#eldest daughter syndrome#eldest daughter#parentified child#parentification#toxic mom#cw toxic relationship#toxic parents#toxic mothers#toxic mother#toxic family#toxic father#toxic relationship#childhood neglect#childhood trauma#childhood emotional neglect#emotional trauma#trauma coping#trauma#wanting to be loved#i wanna be loved#sad thoughts#eldest sibling syndrome#eldest sibling#eldest sister#toxic thoughts#thoughts to throw into the void
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how do you expect me to get better in the environment that made me sick in the first place?
#childhood trauma#abuse survivor#emotional abuse#trauma#trauma survivor#verbal abuse#complex ptsd#abusive mothers#emotionally abusive mothers#verbally abusive mothers#childhood neglect#neglectful parents#emotionally neglectful parents#emotionally neglectful fathers#abusive parents#toxic parents#emotional neglect#enabler parents#enabler fathers#tw vent#vent post#vent#venting
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An eldest child whumpee who is always forced to be the 'role model' of their younger siblings while bearing the brunt of their parents' anger and expectations.
#anyone who's an eldest child raise your hand *raises mine*#eldest child#eldest daughter syndrome#eldest daughter#eldest child whump#eldest child whumpee#parental whump#parental whumper#parent whumper#familial whump#dysfunctional family whump#tw emotional abuse#tw emotional neglect#cw emotional abuse#whump#tw whump#whump prompts#whump scenario#whump writing#whump inspiration#ides of whump
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Im not projecting on timmy. What are you talking about?
#i am. i totally and honestly am projecting on the boy.#note that i did actually write that about my dad#fop timmy#timmy turner#timmy fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents timmy#fairly odd parents timmy#tw angst#tw neglect#trying to keep this really out of the main tags for some reason#tw vent#vent art#sorry this week has just been bad and i felt like drawing angst#vent post#vent
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