#tw transmisandry

[agender-wolfie]

The queer community hates masculinity. They only like you if you only present a little bit masc but are mostly feminine and flamboyant and it’s disgusting. I’m not even safe in my own community. Y’all are no better than the conservatives.

[snookpal]

Rant about that “Slugass” user

> Casually check my notifications at 6am

> “Slugass liked your post.”

> Realizing i said “Bezerk” in said post

> Block her ass to prevent her reblogging me

> …Relief!

But in all fairness, Slugass (the user i mentioned) wouldn’t be in my blocklist if she weren’t calling the word ‘Crazy’ an “ableist slur” when she literally has a comic about Usop making TransMisandrist (or transphobic idk) Jokes towards Tubee and calling him a “trans vest-tight” (yk what i mean.)

TW: TRANSMISANDRY + A CENSORED ANTI-TRANS SLUR.

Idk if this was to make fun of the word or if it’s a genuine anti-trans slur

Here’s what it reads:

“Now that you’ve come out as trans, Can i make trans jokes at you?”

“Go ahead!”

“B-But i don’t wanna make you feel bad…”

“Go for it! I won’t cry!”

“But you might”

“I Promise i won’t cry!”

“*Ahem.* LMFAO TR__NSV____TE!”

Idfk if she even is Transmasc or not, But it did kinda set off a few red flags in my head.

Plus i remember her posting an image of tubee with the caption “He’s a 10 but uses the r-slur ironically” Which would be *to her* internalized ableism.

oh and btw This is the word he said

|

V

And a message to Slugass IF i wanna unblock her

Stop making words “ableist” bc they aren’t !!!!

And probably LEAVE OTHER USERS ALONE? just because they said something that you think is bad DOESNT MEAN YOU GET TO REBLOG THEM AND JUST CALL THEM OUT. /SRS

We BETTER not forget the time you used RACISM TOWARDS ASIAN PEOPLE as an excuse for someone saying the word “insane”.

I’m not asian so i’m not saying much on the topic

But her posts are enough to piss me off to the point where i just wanna barrage her with insults but THANK GOD i’m holding myself back because she would post shit like THIS.

okay mrs. slugass, WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME HOW THE WORD CRAZY IS ABLEIST?! “oh but it’s ableist!!” I UNDERSTAND TEMU IS A SHITE COMPANY BUT HOLY SHIT YOUR GOING MENTAL OVER A WORD, A FUCKING WORD.

sorry bout that i got angry

…

So erm yeah Stay safe !!!! :PPP

[hero-of-the-depths]

Like... I've been hyper aware of the layers of oppression that have shaped my experience as an intersex transmasc raised "AFAB" lately and it makes me want to k*ll. I don't get taken seriously by people who think I'm female, I don't get taken seriously for being out, I don't get taken seriously discussing my body; it's even a bit of a struggle communicating my physical experience to others in my support system. Not to mention the fact I feel daily like I'm not welcome in my chosen field of work OR in kink/hobby spaces even when I'm with people who treat me kindly, because of the shit society puts in my head. It's so goddamn isolating. Like, the only thing I've got going for me is being white and having help from a few more privileged folks I love. I seriously can't imagine how other folks in even less privileged conditions must feel, and thinking of that breaks my fucking heart. I really gotta get into local activism when I'm done with the bullshit Re: my spinal injuries. Ugh.

[sharkys-serious-stuff]

Why can't I be accepted.

I came out to my friend as trans earlier. I asked them to call me Charlie and use he/they pronouns. You wanna know what they did afterwards? They ranted to another friend. Still using my deadname after I asked them to stop using them. Verbatim, they said "Since when was she trans?" I'm glad that friend told me because I have a different lunch period than them both but still.

I'm so fucking done. I just want to be seen as a boy. Why the fuck did I have to be born a girl. It feels so fucking awful to have somebody you thought would accept you end up ranting about you behind your back.

[one-hell-of-a-showtime]

Hey, a blog I used to follow (nonbinary support) reblogged a post talking about how “trans men are the men of trans people” and I really advise all of y’all to stay away from them. It scared me, because I’ve been following them for some time, and they’re supposed to be for nonbinary support. You cannot support nonbinary people while also being transandrophobic. You can’t. I unfollowed them, and will probably block them like I did with another blog, a popular sex ed blog, and I’d really advise y’all to do the same. Trans men are men, but they are NOT privileged over other groups because of them being TRANS MEN. Nobody is privileged for being trans!

[gor3sigil]

One day, I'll talk in depth about how it felt to be the only trans drag king in my local scene surrounded by radfem cis kings who only wanted to make fun of masculinity and how it led to me giving up because I faced more transphobia and misgendering in the few nights I performed, by cis queers, than ever in my life.

It was AWFUL. I just never wanted to perform anymore because the TOXICITY of it all was disgusting.

And I love drag with all my heart, but when you get she/her'd IN DRAG KING, spend your time being belittled because you're a drag king (because let's face it drag kings don't get the credit they deserve) by other performers or because you're transmasc by cis drag kings and you can't find any place in the scene if you do anything else than mocking masculinity, fuck it. I hope I can perform in the future but it won't be in this scene.

[satyrradio]

sigh.

[hero-of-the-depths]

God I fucking hate transphobes, but most especially transmisandrists who pretend they're "protecting" the community. No honey, you're just a fake gay*. Yes, people can have a genital preference. No, that doesn't make us "fake" guys. What you stick your dick in has nothing to do with my body, even tangentially LMAO

*Edit to elaborate: Queer people who are divisive to the community and refuse to learn don't deserve the support of the rest of us. Sorry, once you start infighting you're on your own.

[luxiomahariel]

review posted on shinigami eyes

[a-polite-melody]

“It isn’t a slur when we say it because, well, you see, hit dogs holler! You hollering when we hit you means you don’t have as thick of skin as us, which means that you don’t have it as bad as we do to develop a thick skin, and so we deserve to hit you, as evidenced by that you holler when we do!”

Someone kill me please.

Just fucking shoot me.

I don’t want to be alive in a world where a trans person can use this kind of reasoning to defend harming other trans people.

[lycandrophile]

i absolutely cannot believe people are trying to start discourse about whether nex benedict was actually nonbinary / whether it was okay for him to describe himself as nonbinary to some people if he didn’t actually identify that way as if he isn’t literally DEAD because he was KILLED. this is a MURDERED CHILD and these monsters are so busy getting mad at the possibility that he might have been a trans boy who described himself as nonbinary to his family because that was easier for them to take that they’re turning a CHILD who was MURDERED into fucking discourse. even when we die at the hands of cis people’s violence, our own community finds a way to make us the villains of the story.

and all of this bullshit on top of the ways that cis people are already trying to say our grief over his death is unjustified. all of this on top of people claiming he wasn’t murdered and speculating on other causes of death (i literally saw someone say he “clearly went home and took the coward’s way out” and i have never been more disgusted) or claiming that he started the fight as if any action on his part could’ve been enough to justify his death. i am haunted by the sound of his father screaming that his child was not filth because that is what people have been saying about this poor kid, that’s how cruelly his memory is being treated, and even the trans community can’t get it’s shit together enough to look past the stupid discourse and see the tragedy in front of us. did you all forget that it was supposed to be up to us to grieve him in the way he deserves when the rest of the world fails to care if people like him live or die? did you all forget that this child was our sibling, the future of our community, a life that we should have had the chance to know and treasure while he was still here but that we now have a responsibility to hold close to our hearts in his absence? nex’s life was precious and it was ended far too soon and if you truly believe that anything is more important than mourning his life and fighting for a world where no more trans people have to meet such an awful fate, you’re a traitor to this community and you do not deserve the place you occupy within it.

i’m so tired. i can’t even imagine how tired his family must be, to see the public treat the child they’re grieving so horribly, to see the world fail their baby again. leave him alone. he was already robbed of peace in life; the least you can do is let him finally have it in death.

[x-brik-x]

I'm trying to post about this kind of thing less because it's just asking to get dogpiled at this point, but this is. this just described the past 6 years of my life verbatim. and this is the kind of thing that goes under the radar. no one sees it. people actively deny it: people who aren't even transmasc themselves, acting as if they're somehow telepathic and know that none of this happens. but it does. ALL. THE. TIME. it is CONSTANT and NEVER ENDING. it is UNAVOIDABLE. it never DOESN'T happen. and that's why the ignorance is so painful.

there really is a cultural pressure for transmascs & men to detransition, and it comes from all sides. it comes from the queer community too, not just terfs and cishet transphobes.

it took me a while to realize why transphobic people and transandrophobic queers utterly despise trans guys & mascs who are over the age of like 25- it's because it pisses them right off that we've resisted their attempts to make us detransition. it makes them so angry to see they were unable to groom that person into a life of self-shame and repression. it really seems like MOST people believe that trans men will just detransition eventually in life? people NEVER think about older trans men, only teenage trans boys and trans men in their very early twenties.

when i was involved with my local punk scene i was addressed with condescension, almost everyone around me didn't accept transmasculinity as a legitimate identity and thought that we would've transitioned by now in life. i encountered folks who would talk about transmasculinity with subtle disgust that made me feel like i was doing something wrong, and people who expressed overt disgust, saying in plain english that they were disgusted by breasts and vaginas because they were gay men. all along the way i was literally mocked for not having a penis, and one of my roommates started treating me differently once they found out i didn't have one (because they were attracted to me)

i've been on T for 9 years, and been out as a trans man for a bit longer than that, and i noticed as i've aged i've also attracted a lot of folks who have tried to deter me from identifying as a trans man, either through directly telling me that trans men are inherently dangerous, or by implying that women or another gender are safer, quieter, calmer, "less traumatizing to be around," etc. one of my exes told me they were terrified to date me (despite literally going out of their way to do so for over half a year) because they were scared i would be transphobic to them because i'm a transmasculine lesbian.

i received pressure from online friends to either detransition and become an intersex butch woman, or to something feminine adjacent or nonbinary. for years i dealt with a few friends who kept subtly hinting that i should stop identifying as a trans man or trans masc because of how awful transmascs are- going as far as to sending me screenshots of transmascs speaking, complaining about them and calling them whiny, annoying. talking about how all transmascs are entitled, how all transmascs take things too personally, how we complain too much, and so on.

people make no effort to make space for transmascs and men. i met 0 transmascs in my local punk community that i was able to stay in contact with. none. i met a few in passing but none that actually were introduced to me in a capacity where i could actually try to befriend them. it really felt like other punks in the scene were desperately trying to keep the transmascs apart at times. excuses were made as to why i couldn't hang out with other transmascs i liked, but i was constantly being forced to befriend transphobic cis gay men and transandrophobic transfemmes who outwardly expressed hatred and disgust of us. it really felt like it was on purpose... almost as if other members of this community wanted our attention, but never wanted us to give each other attention or a sense of community. like we were objects, not people to be included in the community for real. satellite friends, if you will.

i'll be honest with you. i was at my lowest at this point. i realized i wasn't just a trans man and that i'm a genderqueer person who experiences multiple genders, including womanhood and an "other" gender, which was great. however now i was being forced to completely stuff down being a man for the sake of other people. instead of folks telling me they'd rather not hang out with transmascs, folks rather just attempted to guilt me for identifying as such in the hopes i'd stop identifying that way. i was being told daily that trans men and mascs are inherently violent and terrible to be around. i was in discord servers where transmascs were being kicked constantly for getting even slightly upset about transandrophobia, or being unfairly targeted by staff.

it's violence, but nobody wants to call it that. i pulled myself out of there and am now able to contact other transmascs and trans men who are proud of who they are and have elevated me back into a headspace where it's okay to truly be myself. just keep in mind that if you feel like you're in that situation, you're not alone. people who attempt to groom others are often very subtle it's not always up front. they will start slipping in hateful sentiments very slowly and make you feel like maybe they're the ones who are actually right.

it feels good to be an almost 32 year old trans guy. there's nothing to be ashamed about there. people project their feelings on to my gender and that has nothing to do with me. it has nothing to do with you, either. people will just project on to you for whatever reason- hatred is usually the motivator there. if you encounter folks who keep trying to badger you out of identifying as your gender, no matter who you are, transmasc, transfemme, transneutral, trans anything- they are not good for you. they are not your friends. they do not accept you as you are and you deserve so much better.

[darci-tbh]

crazy when people are just so blissfully and self righteously unaware of how much it is not sunshine and roses being a trans man. absolutely insane when people say "when has a trans man ever been shunned from a space" "when has a trans man ever had to walk on eggshells for fear of being made an example of" "when has a trans man ever been/had to fear being raped/abused/abandoned/belittled/denied personhood for their transness" ME! me RIGHT HERE in my fucking real life. many many many others too. just because we're constantly silenced and infantalized and erased from the public eye doesn't mean we're not out here suffering. I'm sure it's not the same as the transfem experience. I know for a fact there's a unique kind of suffering in being in the bigots' spotlight. but you can talk loudly and angrily and righteously and exclusively about the mtf experience without slipping in a sly disgusted comment at other trans people or implying that the abuse we go through completely undetected and unacknowledged cannot exist. genuinely. stop fucking generalizing us as all little uwu discord teens with no problems in sight

[pokemon-radical-red]

I got this comment on a post that I made about being a trans man and noticing how we’re perceived by others. This person is blocked now because I don’t want some transphobe on my blog, but I want to talk a little bit about this.

I like how this person’s trying to convince me that I’m wrong while saying that the only people who would be attracted to us are lesbians who are into butch women. But they can’t use those exact words or else we’ll all KNOW that they’re misgendering us. It’s interesting. Let’s play a game! TERF or transandrophobe. (I’m not scrolling through their blog long enough to find out.)

Okay. Let’s pretend that we live in their world, where trans men are not also a porn category (as someone pointed out in a response comment), and get to the deep cuts!

Now maybe this person defines oversexualization in a different way, and frequently commenting on our bodies—especially our chests—is totally cool and normal to them, because I literally have a post talking about the Tik Tok trend of “oh trans man wants me to respect his pronouns but he has HUGE BOOBS!!! haha this is so funny, guys!” You may notice that in this example here, she claims to feel bad, but then immediately turns around and makes a joke about it. Is describing transmascs essentially as our chests not sexualization? Not to mention dehumanizing considering they refer to this person as “a he/they,” instead of a transmasc or a nonbinary person or anything else.

But if that’s not enough sexualization for you, or you think that it isn’t valid to be upset over that, you can look under the cuts for the disgusting descriptions of our bodies from some transphobes. From some of those “ladies who just like butch,” since they’re innocent and aren’t oversexualizing us because “nobody oversexualizes ftm trans folks,” as the person in the screenshot said confidently.

I wanna say trigger warning for disgusting oversexualization of trans men (including trans men who are in their teens!) under the cut, but huh… the commenter said that nobody oversexualizes trans men, so this can’t be right. (On a serious note, please do heed the trigger warning before deciding to open the rest of the post.)

[gor3sigil]

I really need y'all to understand that answering to transmascs who complain about being invisible "yeah but see, transfems are being actively murdered so you have it easier" is batshit. Because one of the hardest part of being invisible is that transmascs are, too, being actively murdered, but we don't know who the victims are, if we even know it happens at all.

One time I got told that transmascs don't deal with homelessness and involuntary sex work and when I said that every transmascs I know have dealt with both in one way or another, myself included, I got told "that's just your surroundings, in a grander scheme that's false". How fucking cruel can you be ?

You think I don't see trans men and transmasc people scattering newspapers and the web every year during TDOR because the ones we lose are almost never on the fucking lists ? And we should be happy and glad we don't know about them ? It isn't bliss to live knowing that if some of my friends die they'll most likely be misgendered and you can't do shit about it. It's not peaceful to see how trans men and transmascs' deaths are always downplayed, treated like it's not the Real Brutal Deaths that deserve to be adressed (and don't tell me nobody says that, I've been in queer spaces long enough).

We shouldn't be asking for basic fucking decency from our peers. Don't treat us as disposables.

[satyrradio]

anyone else think it's weird and cope-y that TERFs strip everyone that disagrees with them of their personal autonomy? like,

trans men couldn't possibly willingly choose to transition to men, no, clearly it's their stupid autistic girl brains making them do it

trans women couldn't possibly willingly choose to transition to women, no, clearly it's their evil male sex urges making them do it

(feel free to mix-n-match depending on the sexuality of the trans person in question)

trans allies couldn't possibly willingly choose to support trans people, no, clearly they have some sort of mental illness or brainwashing

people couldn't possibly disagree with my weird and creepy transphobia, no, clearly they're all just pretending to support trans ppl and are actually TERFs like me

it's actual copium lmao