#tw murder suicide mention

[wickjump]

horror and killer but they’re underweight due to horror starving for 7 years and coming out of that with an eating disorder, and killer being incapable of figuring out when his body needs to eat and just Not doing that when he needs to

and then there’s dust who eats more than he did as sans because as long as it makes him forget he wants to kill himself he will eat whatever the hell he’s given as a distraction. everything is a distraction to him. and i think that’s fun

it’s okay killer and horror gain weight eventually once horror figures out how to not throw it all up and killer is pressured into a normal eating cycle don’t worry

[signanothername]

Reading your head canon, I am surprised that each Murder agreed to work with Nightmare instead of a duel to death and be passively aggressive instead of fully aggressive and non-compliant, and use any knowledge of Nightmare and Killer to hit them where it hurts. Since Nightmare cannot destroy AUs like Error, Murder's only fear would be his own death, not due to the pain, but because of his own self-penance to haunt Dusttale alone and stop the human. Like when he is "recruited" by Nightmare or as you mention in your head canon, brought back by Killer, I would still think Murder would make sure the fights either end with his win or his death. After all, Murder values his autonomy and freedom. Because even if Murder is an adaptive, intelligent tactician, he is still a mortal compared to Nightmare, he would realize he has reached a dead end, so death is the only option, compared to working with two people that remind of the human that he hates. Well, the only reason I see Murder pretending to be compliant is to probably plan a betrayal and join Dream, as Dream is the only weapon against Nightmare, maybe even try to train him, because he doesn't care about Dream, but Nightmare is as bad or worse than the human, so by Murder's logic, he should be put down. Otherwise he has no ability to travel home or power to harm Nightmare, so as mentioned above death is the only other option. Over all, it could be argued that every Murder!Sans has a lot of reasons to defy or fight Nightmare, even if it causes his death. Plus I still think Murder vs Killer wouldn't be so one sided for Killer, since Murder, as Sans spent more time improving his skills during the resets compared to the loads Killer, as Sans spent fighting Chara over and over. So beside loading, I still think Murder might have an edge in battle experience and intelligence.

The ask Anon is referring to for context <33

Oh Murder was not compliant, not at all Anon, in fact, that’s exactly why I think Murder gets replaced the most, it’s because of how non-compliant he is, I don’t think Murder would ever agree to join the gang, I never said he would

You’ll notice I only talked about his passive aggressiveness with Killer specifically in the Murder Time Trio ask, and in fact, do talk about how Murder would pry into Killer’s private matters all just to piss him off, I never went on about Murder’s relationship with Nightmare in depth

And I didn’t go in depth cause the previous ask was for the Murder Time Trio as a whole, and their relationship with each other, so I couldn’t just talk about Murder in depth or in much detail as I wanted cause otherwise I would’ve absolutely diverted from the main point of that ask

But now that I have this beautiful ask I can actually go in depth as much as I want >:)

And you’re absolutely right that Nightmare can’t destroy AUs, the most Nightmare could do is lay waste to the Au, but Dusttale is already a wasteland so nothing much Nightmare could do there, that’s exactly why I say that Murder would try his luck and run back to his Au (and continue on doing it over and over), and it’s exactly why I say that Nightmare struggles with controlling Murder the most, cause Nightmare has no true power over him mentally, Murder doesn’t care about dying by Nightmare’s hand and he knows he could try his luck as much as Nightmare’s patience allows

Murder would definitely perfer death over being under Nightmare, cause if he can’t be useful enough to save his Au from the human what’s the point?

In fact allow me to be bold and say that I wholeheartedly believe Murder is also the hardest to “recruit” by Nightmare, cause I genuinely believe that in some timelines, the Murder that was supposed to be recruited by Nightmare just offed himself before Nightmare could get ahold of him, cause again, better death than be taken away from his Au, something that Nightmare has grown wise to and usually tries to knock Murder out before he tries such extreme measures, then later Nightmare controls Murder in certain ways once he’s got Murder under him

But here’s the thing, when we talk about Murder and Nightmare’s relationship, only looking at one side of the coin (in this context Murder) is missing the point in my humble opinion, cause yes, Murder does prefer death, and yes Murder would be aggressive and noncompliant, but how does Nightmare deal with that? Cause in every relationship there are multiple sides to look at, not just one

Cause while Murder prefers death, wouldn’t it make sense to also believe that Murder would want to preserve his life to be able to get back to his Au and stop the human? I mean Murder cares this much about his Au doesn’t he?

And that’s exactly why I previously mentioned Nightmare’s emotional/mental manipulation tactics, Nightmare knows Murder would try to preserve his life IF he has hope he can get back to his Au, so Nightmare LETS Murder get back to his Au from time to time, all to give Murder the false hope that he can get away, that false hope contributes to Murder thinking that death isn’t the only way out, further lengthening Murder’s stay under Nightmare, all while Nightmare uses the “you can go back to your Aus” card as some sort of reward for “good work”, to condition Murder to (very reluctantly) work for Nightmare to get this “reward”, all while “bad behavior” aka Murder trying to run back to his Au on his own (which literally doesn’t work cause Murder doesn’t have the ability to hop between Aus) means Nightmare punishes Murder by forbidding him from going to his Au, which usually ends with Murder clawing at Nightmare, which only further worsens his punishment

So as time goes on you can imagine Nightmare understanding Murder enough to be able to get to a point in which he can condition Murder enough so he becomes a bit less hostile just to get his chances to get back to his Au, only to be dragged back by Killer when Nightmare deems Murder has had enough “home time”

And here’s an interesting question, why won’t Nightmare go himself to get Murder back from his Au? It’ll be a lot easier and less time and source consuming wouldn’t it?

And to me? No it’s not cause he’s an all mighty King and he just sits on his ass doing nothing and lets his underlings do the dirty work for him (cause while i believe Nightmare deems some things as “beneath him” I despise the idea that Nightmare is an absolute lazy bitch that doesn’t do anything but monologue, which is why I interpret Nightmare my own way) in fact, I like to think Nightmare is so fucking obsessed with being in control, that in fact he’s sure to keep everything under his watchful eye, he knows every little thing about his prey (in this instance it’s the Murder Time Trio) he knows what they do, how, and when, he knows every little weakness and every little strength they hold, he understands them to the littlest detail in order to keep control over them

And in my interpretation of Nightmare, sending Killer instead of going himself is just another manipulation tactic, Nightmare knows Murder would be a bit confident in his ability to fight (and even win) against Killer, something that he won’t believe if it was Nightmare himself that came to get him, it further engraves that false hope that Murder can get away one day, if (or “when” in Murder’s view) he wins against Killer

Which brings me to the question, is Killer vs Murder one sided for Killer? No I don’t believe it is, in fact I agree that Murder has spent his time refining his skills and experience, however, let’s not forget Killer also is just as intelligent as Murder is, I for one think Killer and Murder are almost on bar with each other in terms of who wins or loses

I’m not going to sit here and pretend I’m not biased towards Killer, cause I definitely am, it’s very obvious that he’s my favorite, so please don’t take my interpretation as an objective correct analysis of their fight, i’ll be simply talking from my humble (very biased) opinion

However if we think logically, Killer has a few things Murder doesn’t, and these would be 1-inability to recognize his body’s limit, 2-his soul’s stages, and 3-a much higher LV than Murder’s

Murder is at LV 19 mostly, Killer, while Rahafwabas has stated they��ll leave it up to interpretation, has been shown in a comic to have a glitched LV of 99999, which in my opinion makes sense considering the Determination Killer’s soul holds, and it automatically means that Killer’s stronger than Murder (if we wanted to get technical at least)

But I don’t like technicalities in analysis of fights so that brings me to the points I’m actually interested in

Something to keep in mind, is that Killer is also just as intelligent as Murder is, Killer’s mind moves just as quick as his body moves, he improvises mid battle and is generally very unpredictable, and to top it all off, Killer fights dirty, he uses any means necessary, and he doesn’t rely on raw power, but on his mind to win

Killer is also extremely observant and has a tendency to study people under a microscope, all while pretending he’s the stupidest most idiotic bitch you ever met, so Killer probably has Murder’s weaknesses memorized and probably already studied Murder enough to know how to deal with him during a battle

Not to mention, if we talk about how much experience each of them holds, then it’s really up for interpretation, cause listen, in my interpretation, I believe Murder has amazing experience, but you’re also talking about Killer, who worked under Nightmare before any of the others, meaning Killer not only has just as much experience, but Killer’s experience is vast and varied, as he fights a variety of people from completely different Aus, with different levels of powers/ intelligence, all while Murder only fights the same people under the same circumstances over and over (then again, this is really up for interpretation, your interpretation of whether Killer worked under Nightmare first or not could be different, i’m only talking from my own point of view, it’s not a hard fast truth or a correct objective interpretation, so please feel free to disagree <333)

Killer (at stage 2) doesn’t recognize his body’s limits, he in fact, thrives on pain, Killer could literally reach the point where his body would collapse at any second and yet still fight like it’s nothing, he’ll go beyond that point, Murder won’t, once Murder’s body reaches its limit it’ll immediately mean he lost, cause Killer won’t stop until A-his mission is complete and he dragged Murder back, or B-he’s dead, there’s no in between for stage 2 Killer

Which brings me to the point you mentioned which is the loading, whether Killer can save and load is really up for interpretation, cause as far as I know, there’s no canonical info on whether he can save and load, but I for one, believe he can, and how long can Murder hold his own against Killer before Murder reaches his limit? When Killer holds the same power the human (who Murder keeps losing to) holds?

Another thing to keep in mind is Killer’s stages, they provide a great advantage in terms of fighting, cause while I believe Murder can absolutely hold his own against stage 2 Killer, I don’t believe he’ll have much advantage against stage 3 Killer, and he sure as hell will not ba able to keep up against a stage 4 Killer, now whether Murder would trigger Killer enough to reach stage 3 and 4 is really up to you and what you like to think, I for one think if Murder knew about Killer’s stages, he’d be smart enough not to trigger Killer to reach those stages cause he would know he won’t win if Killer did reach them, however if Murder doesn’t know about his stages, then the possibility of Murder triggering Killer into stage 3 or 4 on accident is possible, which will not end on a good note for Murder

All that aside, do I believe that Killer always wins against Murder? No not at all, I actually like to believe that sometimes Killer wins, other times Murder wins, and other times? Killer had taken his sweet time trying to get Murder who was holding his own pretty well, that Nightmare shows up himself to take care of it (usually Nightmare would be very pissed at both of them, resulting in Killer and Murder paying grave consequences)

As for Murder working with Dream, I honestly can’t see Murder having the patience to actually work with him, cause each second he spends with Dream is another second away from his Au, and I believe Murder is smart enough to know Nightmare isn’t very easy to take down, other than the raw power and intelligence Nightmare holds, if Dream was truly able to take him down Murder would think Dream would’ve already done it, Murder is intelligent enough to recognize working with Dream would be a waste of time and effort that could’ve been used on much more important matters (such as getting back to his Au)

The only reason I’d see Murder making contact with Dream at all is to only request that Dream open a portal to his Au, only to realize whoops!! Dream can’t open a portal to a place filled with negativity, which only would frustrate the shit outta Murder

Murder’s circumstance really makes me sad ngl, the guy just wants to be back home dammit 😔

[inkshine]

The Terror is wild because a guy attempts mass murder-suicide and he's not even close to being the main antagonist

[vinylattes]

#love is stored in the hypothetical murdercide

[madness-and-folly]

and then they lived happily ever after <3

[lenny-zesty]

wow this sucks I’m going to [remembers that suicide jokes only worsen your mental health] willingly offer myself to be the host of the absolute solver

[bunshr00m]

i'm quite sad that people stopped talking about nex benedict. just because his case wasn't technically murder it still speaks volumes about the effects of bullying and how schools need to work harder to protect marginalized youth.

do you all remember leelah alcorn? we won't forget her. please don't forget nex benedict either

[furiousgoldfish]

personal post (tw: suicidal ideation, detailed descriptions of psychological and emotional abuse, osdd, alters, theories about alters splitting)

I have a child alter who is wildly suicidal, to the point where they'll push me to commit suicide with every opportunity, and try to do psychological damage to me as an attempt to make me suicidal. I've been trying to figure out for years what was it that made them so determined to die, with no luck because this alter does not give any information away, and seems to hate me and my attempts.

Recently I've had a flashback where I remembered what it was like to be their age. It felt like I had to die. There was constant pressure, almost like a duty, that I have to be thinking about ending my life at all times. I needed to make sure I wasn't alive for long. And I felt this at all times, that continuing to be alive is a failure and I need to do whats right. It was bizarre to remember. But there had to be a reason I felt this.

I attempted again to probe at the alter, to try and figure out whats the reason for all this, what was done to us to make us so determined to die? And this time I managed to get a little bit of information – the the alter lashed out at me saying 'well there's no other way! remember this!' and I got some interesting flashbacks of psychological abuse. I knew vaguely this was going on, but forgot for the most part, that it had any effect on me. (tw for the next part)

When I was about 8 or 9, I got my own room, and one of my caretakers, my grandmother, had an issue with that. Until then, she was able to lock me in her own room and beat me, because I slept in there, but now it was a bit more difficult to catch me. So, she would often stand in my doorway, and scream at me, for hours, in bouts of intense rage. I thought this was normal at the time, just because it was so common, and nobody did anything to stop it.

She would start by calling me animal names, and demonic names, telling me that I'm the most selfish brat to ever exist who only ever thinks of themselves, and I will burn in hell for it – she would describe it in detail how I would be boiled eternally, there was no escape from it. Then she would go on to tell me how everything that is wrong in the world is directly my fault – my parents fighting, other people being upset, her entire life and misery, that was all on me, I was the direct cause of it. And then, she would go on to describe in detail, how she was going to kill me, usually suffocating me with her bare hands. And she would swear and promise that she would do it, she'd challenge me to not even think that it wouldn't happen. And then she'd go on to describe how much I deserved that, how everything I do in life is done directly to ruin her life, to cause her misery, how I'm a demon who is only happy when she suffers, how I satisfy myself by torturing her, how I am the most twisted, cruel, despicable, demonic, monstrous, unforgivable, horrendous ugly creature that ever existed, worst person in the entire world, and how I should be deeply ashamed of myself and everything I've ever done. She would state very clearly how everything in the entire world would be better if I didn't exist.

Now, me being age 9 or something like that, I thought, well, maybe she's right, maybe I am a bad person, maybe I am selfish by not forfeiting every second of my life to others, maybe I really am the reason everyone is fighting all the time, maybe I could have stopped it. Maybe I need to think about others more often, maybe I need to be more critical of myself. But, no matter how much I changed my behaviour, her rage wouldn't stop, until I was faced with the inescapable feeling of just being so intrinsically wrong and defected that I shouldn't exist. I remember wanting to disappear, wanting to fall trough the floor and into the earth and cease and desist. I would have to spend hours and hours listening to her scream, telling me I should have been murdered the second I was born.

And at this point my father had tried to/almost killed me a few times so death felt like a very inevitable and natural thing to happen to me. I wasn't even scared of upset about it because it just seemed like one of the normal things you know? If you're small and you see things are bad you easily accept your fate. If everyone around you thinks you should die, then you will die soon and thats that.

So by the age of 13 I was full on suicidal, I saw no value in myself, I felt violence and pain was all I deserved because everyone agreed upon it, and it was what I was experiencing at all times. I couldn't stop listening to the screaming and at the end of it, I just agreed with it, it felt true, why would anyone say it so many times, with such intense rage, if it was made up? And by the person who knew me since I was born? I had no arguments against it.

And then one day I was like, wait, this will kill me. Her screaming at me will force me into suicide. I can't have that. I need to cut her off if I want to live. This person doesn't love me, she's trying to kill me. I can't keep listening to her or I'll die. And then I did the funniest thing – I stopped talking to her even though we lived at the same house. And she did even funnier thing and DIDN'T NOTICE for a FULL YEAR. Which sounds wild on the surface, but here's how it played out: She would say something to me, I would stay quiet. She would assume my answer, and say what she wanted me to say, and add 'right?' at the end. I would stay quiet. She would continue the conversation as if I had said what she imagined. And this went on for a year.

With this new situation unfolding, I became certain that she didn't love me, even though she would cry and swear how she sacrificed everything for me and was the only person who loved me and so on – I literally caught her not noticing that she's cut off for a whole year. That was some heavy evidence and I had it.

The screaming however, continued, but now I decided, hey, I don't need to listen to this shit. I would put my hands on my ears (didn't have earphones in that era) and make whatever noises to shut her out. And it worked, I became unaffected by the screaming because I was no longer listening, she eventually stopped because it became obvious that I was oblivious to it and had no reaction, and I guess that was just not fun for her. I went on to not be severely affected by whatever she said because I understood by then that she's a liar and after my life and didn't care for her antics anymore.

Now you might be noticing a lack of consistency here – just how would a child who is completely broken and suicial just snap out of it, decide to cut off the cause of suicidality and then live on to be unaffected by the same abuse that almost cost them their life until then? I originally thought it was some survival instinct kicking in, letting me know that I'm too close to death and need to be putting some boundaries in my life, but that wasn't the case. I went on to think that I was no longer affected by the years of this abuse, I never thought about it, never felt like I needed to process that, I was convinced I dealt with this as a child.

What actually happened is that I became too close to suicide and I split. My osdd figured I was  close to death and something needed to be done. An alter formed who was able to contain all of that trauma inside themselves, the memories of how it felt to listen to that screaming for hours and hours until all hope was lost, until I could no longer see myself as anything but deserving of death and eternal hell. That was wrapped up and put inside a child version of myself who couldn't grow, couldn't see trough any of it, and had to stay trapped in that world, where they're always a minute away from being psychologically tortured and having their integrity assaulted in every way possible, and forced to listen how much their family members wanted to brutally murder them.

Once this alter split off, I was left in control of the body. I was able to evaluate the situation without the emotional effects of being brainwashed or tortured and decided to cut of grandmother immediately and to live my life without listening to her nonsense.

What is interesting to me is that this was the third time an alter split off in order for our life to be saved, one before was split due to my father, and another due to my grandmother, because of other nasty stuff she was doing to me. I'm trying to figure out just how neglected a child needs to be that a complete overhaul of attitude, sudden non-reactiveness to brainwashing and sudden complete apathy to screaming interactions, is just not noticed. Like this kid was close to death seconds before and now they're just fine and going on about their day ignoring everyone, and nobody noticed.

And this is not me being strong or resilient or anything like that. It was my brain tearing my memories and emotions in pieces and containing them into alters so that I would be able to live on without comitting suicide. If this hadn't happened I'd be dead. This also meant that all of that trauma would come back and make me sick for the rest of my life, or until I resolve it. That was me sacrificing my future in order to be able to survive the present. Developing trauma disorders that meant I would have to live while the pressure to commit suicide is always present in my brain, but I can resist it because I don't remember how it came to be there.

*

So, back to the main plot, after I finally extracted this information from my trapped, tortured alter, who just wanted to end it all, I said 'okay, well give the trauma to me, I'm older so it makes sense for me to handle it.'

I didn't handle it well. It was instant pain, dread, horror, I wanted to be dead. I was bedridden for days, kept re-experiencing the screaming, remembered  how many times I listened to descriptions of myself getting murdered, felt very horrified about it, and couldn't see how I thought this wouldn't affect me. What even needs to be wrong with a person to go tell a child in detail how they're going to murder them, how is this giving anyone pleasure. Feeling very icky about that. How hard would it be not to speak out loud your children-murdering fantasies. Get a secret diary or something for heavens sake.

It's a few days later and I am feeling, kinda weak, kinda close to passing out at all times, a bit shaken, bit scared. Very betrayed. Thankfully my sense of self is enough well established that I never doubt if anything that was said to me back then was true, because I'm so disgusted with the person who said it, I'm just feeling grossed out with it. I don't think I've managed to take in all of the trauma from the child alter, it wouldn't be something I could experience in a few days, it's been years of that stuff. But I'm glad to make progress, I'm pleased that something originally nonsensical makes sense, I'm glad I can make connections to why this alter is so suicidal, and I can at least try to make it easier on them. I'm hopeful that one day this part of me won't need to be trapped in an eternal state of a child being told to die.

[qin-qin16]

obligatory dustyscarf request sorry

[DustyScarf, mermaid!Geno, butcher!Dust, horror, angst, thoughts about suicide, cannibalism mentioned, mermaid sushi??]

note: first piece of horror for october! Happy october guys :D

Geno no longer felt his gills; they lay numb beneath the cold water. Perhaps, if his body kept sinking in the bathtub, they would even start to rot — but there was no way to tell, especially since Geno refused to look under the blocks of ice that meticulously encased him, waiting for the end he so desperately desired.

The tips of his phalanges had lost all feeling, just like the end of his long red tail — what had once been shiny fins were now reduced to retracted, lifeless tissue, losing the beautiful luster they once possessed. 

His vertebrae shook, fragile against the icy air of the room — even the simplest tasks felt like an immense effort. Surviving had turned into a burdensome struggle, and Geno felt drawn to forsake it.

The door — possibly the only spot not covered in white, marked by a dry crimson stain — creaked open slowly, producing a drawn-out groan that sent a slight shiver through Geno's skull. 

A figure emerged in the doorway, and Geno’s blurred gaze quickly dropped to the grotesque apron it wore: splattered with a dried red substance, clinging to the old, faded fabric that had decayed from use.

"Why the sad face?" Dust's voice is low and raspy, as if he hasn't spoken in ages. 

Even though Geno sometimes hears him murmuring to the walls, laughing with them about his suffering. 

Approaching the bathtub, Dust crouches down beside it, directing his two red dots toward Geno’s face before resting both elbows on the edge — fresh blood trickling from his arms into the water, tainting the mermaid’s false sanctuary.

Ignoring the lack of response — perhaps used to Geno’s silence — Dust returns to speak, "You know, I’ve been wondering: should I freeze you and wait for the perfect moment to serve your tail on a plate, or should I display you in a lovely aquarium at home?" He purrs, appearing fascinated by both ideas. 

Even though a shiver ran down Geno's spine, his expression stayed cold. The small white dot, faint and nearly blending into the void of his eye socket, remained focused on Dust, captivated by his one bicolored eye — perhaps, in a way, startled by the blend of blue in the red sea of the other’s gaze.

Dust resumes murmuring to himself, dipping one hand into the bathtub — the blood gradually spreading through the water, staining even the ice cubes. 

A rough laugh escapes him, rasping against his vertebrae. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of this sooner? I’m so fortunate to have such a helpful brother!” His voice carries an almost ironic tone, if not for the manic smile that creeps across his face, reaching his eyes, which are so enchanted on Geno. “Why not both?”

Dust lifts his hand, which had just been in the bathtub moments before, to Geno's indifferent face, smearing it not only with blood but also with a playful, mocking tenderness.

He emits a soft purr at the sight of Geno — his so silent, frozen Geno — flinching at his touch. 

“I’ll bring you home, and when I get tired of your sick state, I will prepare a grand feast with your flesh; maybe I’ll even hang your bones on the wall as a beautiful memorial of your existence.” He promises, and Geno can't help but wish he had chosen to devour him instead, putting an end to his extended and eternal suffering.

[princesssarisa]

In Heidi Anne Heiner's Cinderella Tales From Around The World, I've now read the variants from Germany, Belgium, and France.

*Of course the most famous German Cinderella story is Aschenputtel by the Brothers Grimm. If you don't know it from reading it, you probably know it from Into the Woods, and if you don't know it from there, you've probably heard of it in pop culture. Too many people mistakenly think it's the "original" version of Cinderella. But there are other German Cinderella stories too – all similar to the Grimms' version, but with differences here and there.

*In nearly every German version, and in both of the two Belgian versions the book features, the heroine gets her elegant gowns and shoes from a tree. It throws them down to her, or opens up to reveal them, after she either recites a rhyme underneath it or knocks on it.

**Some variants, like the Grimms', have the archetypal "father goes on a journey and asks for gift requests" plot line, and the heroine gets a hazel twig, which she plants on her mother's grave and which grows into a tree. But in other versions, the tree is seemingly a random one, which either a dove, a dwarf, or a mysterious old man or woman advises her to ask for finery.

**That said, there's one exception: a German version called Aschengrittel, where the heroine meets a dwarf who, like the fairies in some Italian versions, gives her a magic wand to grant her wishes.

*As in the Egyptian, Greek, and Italian versions, it varies whether the German versions have the heroine abused by a stepmother and stepsister(s) or by her own mother and sister(s), whether her father is alive or not, and whether the special event she attends is a royal ball/festival or a church service. In both of the two Belgian versions, the heroine's abusers are her own mother and sister(s).

*While in the Mediterranean versions, the heroine's future husband is always either a prince or (more rarely) a king, in the German versions he's occasionally a knight or a rich merchant instead.

*Other typical German and Belgian details are (a) the (step)mother forcing the heroine to sort lentils, seeds, or grain, usually by picking them out of the ashes, which is usually resolved by birds doing the job for her, (b) the prince (or king, or merchant) having the palace or church steps smeared with pitch so that the heroine loses her shoe, and (c) the notorious detail of the (step)sisters cutting off parts of their feet to make the shoe fit, which is revealed when either birds or a dog call out that there's blood in the shoe.

**One Greek version has the prince catch the heroine's shoe by having the church steps smeared with honey, but the Mediterranean Cinderellas usually lose their shoes either by accident or by choice, while in Germany and Belgium it's usually the prince's doing.

**The foot-cutting episode is clearly typical of German and Belgian versions, but the Grimms' other notorious detail, where the stepsisters' eyes are pecked out by doves at the end, isn't typical. The Grimms themselves added that grisly detail to give the story a more "moral" ending with the stepsisters appropriately punished.

*The Grimms' footnotes for their version are included in this book. They mention several other German variants, including two that continue after the heroine's marriage and have the stepmother and stepsister try to murder her, and one where the stepmother starts out as the heroine's childhood nurse and murders the girl's mother by pushing her out a window, then claims she committed suicide.

*The German, Belgian, and French Cinderellas aren't quite so cunning and unfazed as the Greek and Italian Cinderellas. Now we see more heroines who cry over their hardships, and/or who beg to be allowed to go to the ball/festival or church, and whose magical help is more given to them and less in their own control. One notable French exception to this pattern, though, is Madame d'Aulnoy's cunning and self-reliant Finette Cendron.

*France doesn't seem to have the same pattern of culturally-distinct oral versions of this tale that other countries do. Instead, the French examples in this book are nearly all literary versions, and each one is almost completely different from the others.

**Of course the most wildly famous and important French Cinderella is Charles Perrault's Cendrillon. This is the Cinderella we all know best, with the fairy godmother, the pumpkin coach, the magic only lasting until midnight, and the glass slipper.

**Published in the same year as Perrault's version was Madame d'Aulnoy's Finette Cendron. This is an interesting, much longer variation that starts out as a Hop o'My Thumb/Hansel and Gretel story, where three sisters are abandoned in the woods and nearly eaten by an ogre, only for the clever youngest, Finette, to outwit him, but then turns into a Cinderella story when the older sisters abuse Finette after they make the dead ogre's castle their home, but Finette follows them to a ball in finery she finds in a chest.

**Another French literary variant is The Black Cat, which starts out as a Cinderella tale, but then has the heroine be stranded on an island and give birth to a black cat son (long story), then turns into a Puss in Boots tale as the cat helps his mother. Yet another is The Blue Bull, where the heroine runs away from her stepmother with her only friend, a magical bull, only for the bull to be killed protecting her from lions, and which then becomes a Donkeyskin/All Kinds of Fur-type of story, where she becomes a servant at the prince's palace and gets her ballroom finery from the bull's grave.

*Perrault and d'Aulnoy's versions are the only two Cinderellas so far where the heroine has a fairy godmother. Yes, in some others there are fairies or mysterious old women who help her, but the concept of a fairy godmother seems to have French literary origins.

*These same two versions, Perrault's and d'Aulnoys are also where we first see strong emphasis on the heroine's virtue and kindness, even to her cruel (step)family. While some oral versions do have her forgive them in the end, these literary versions not only have her do that, but have her constantly be gracious and kind to them (Perrault) or save their lives even at great personal sacrifice (d'Aulnoy).

*Now that I've read Finette Cendron, I can see its slight influence on Massanet's opera Cendrillon. In Finette Cendron, instead of Perrault's choice to have the slipper taken from house to house, all the ladies are invited to the palace to try it on, and Finette's fairy godmother sends her a horse to ride there – just like Cinderella's fairy godmother transports her to the slipper-fitting at the palace in the opera. Finette Cendron's Prince Cherí also falls deathly ill with love for the mystery girl, but is cured when he finds her. (A recurring theme in many different variants, which I forgot to mention when I covered the Mediterranean versions.) In the opera, this has its parallel when Prince Charming faints in despair over the seeming failure of the slipper-fitting, and before that when Cinderella herself becomes gravely ill because she thinks she'll never see her prince again.

@adarkrainbow, @ariel-seagull-wings, @themousefromfantasyland

[e-vasong]

pretty sure no other scene in the world could live rent free in my head the way the loumand argument does. its not even about quality its the fucking rhythm of it. like.

🤷 You're boring. You're boring. YOU are so boring. Colorless. Flaaaaaavorless. Dull. Dull. Dull nights. Dull weeks. Dull months. Dull as FUCK. 🥱 Suffocation by the world's softest, BEIGE-est pillow....The ten hours I spent with that boy were more exciting, more fascinating than DECAAAADES with you. Oh! 🫢 There it is. That half blank, half apocalyptic look.... but what does it mean tonight? 🧍 Does he want to lick my boots or chop my ears off? Is it the gremlin or the good nurse tonight, huh? 🤨 Okay. Okay. Perhaps. But am I as boring....as the BLATHER committed onto the ferric tapes of your fascinating boy? 'Oh! Oh, it's so...so hard to be me! 😂' Picking lint off the sofa!?!? 'It's so hard to kill humans...😩 Everyone I know WRONGS me!' Okay...let's wake the boy up, and let's try you 🫵. 'I'm the vampire Armand, and my dADdy vampire groomed me into a little bitch.' Oh, 'My brother tossed himself off a roof!' 'The vampires who murdered my daddy made me pretend I didn't have a dick for 240 years!' 'My sister buried me aliiiiive! 🥰 My daughter was my sister was my throw pillow when heee wouldn't look at me kindly. Lestat Lestat Lestat LestatLestatLestat LESTATLESTATLESTAT.'

^^ thats ASMR to me. btw. if you even care.

[gaymurdersalad]

David, why do you let him treat you like that?! He’s horrible!

>…

>… You— You all…

>… You all… Don’t know what the FUCK you’re talking about.

>What in your deluded, goddamned minds thinks ANY of this is okay to say to me— you superficial, you fake plastic bloodsuckers— I thought you cared about me! I thought you were fucking different, I thought you fucking liked me! I thought— Stupid fucking me, right? Thinking with my fuck-rotting brain like I have the goddamn right, yeah, serves me— I thought you would be nice to me!

>Nothing fucking nice lasts, does it? Henry tosses me out like garbage, like I fuckin’ meant nothing to him— and I bet I didn’t, I bet I shoulda blown my motherfuckin’ brains out for him, fuck, maybe then he’d actually like my sorry ass— Now you! You stupid lot, with your stupid fucking glasses and your self righteousness?! Comin’ into MY house and telling me who I should fuckin’ trust, meanwhile you hide behind those shitty shades and chastise ME for being a coward! Fuck you! Fuck the lot of you! Do me one favor— oh, if I may ask, given my obvious un-superiority!— and go fuck off to whatever world you came from and make whoever the hell is miserable enough to have you deal with this bullshit.

>Fuck, you all know I’m grown, right? You know I’m an adult who makes his own goddamn choices? Do you— no, of course you do! You think I’m some shit-for-brains autistic kid who can’t make a goddamn decision for himself, you think— think that Jack here is taking advantage of the slow kid, huh? You think I didn’t make this choice? You think if I actually knew he hated me, I wouldn’t fuck off and paint my brains all over the walls of whatever fucking alleyway I’d find myself in, boozin’ and bingin’, because really, what would be the fucking point of life anymore— no! No! I know what the fuck I’m doing! You think you know better than me?! You’re fucking pathetic! You are a goddamn disease on me!

>Get out— Get the FUCK out of our house, you goddamned pests, you blood-sucking leeches! Don’t you EVER show those fuckin’ mugs around here again, you hear me? Next time you ever dare LOOK at me or Jack, I will reach down into yer gullet and peel your supposed-organs out one by one, every rip and tear being slow and worth it. I’ll make you and all your shitty friends WATCH, GOD-DAMMIT!

>NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!

>…

>…

>… Leave the way you came in…

>… Askers.

[ THE GAYMURDERDAVID EVENT CONCLUDES.

DAVID IS NO LONGER OPEN FOR ASKS. ]

[signanothername]

Which one of the UTMV's do you think is most likely to end their life?

Damn we getting dark today dhxhgxgxg

Error, he’s very much about destroying and erasing anomalies, and he sees himself as the #1 anomaly, I don’t think he would hesitate to actually kill himself if he succeeds in erasing all Aus

Killer, he’s already very self destructive, he has little to no self perseverance, he’d absolutely throw his life away, not to mention, he already canonically tried erasing himself out of existence

Murder, he absolutely would kill himself as a way out from under Nightmare, as his Au is his first priority and purpose and if he feels it’s completely helpless to break free he’d resort to suicide

Epic, his eye has caused him nothing but misery ever since he got it, I feel that had his eye not regenerated him, he would’ve absolutely committed suicide, he absolutely deals with suicidal thoughts

[blo0d1er]

𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ There's Something Wrong with Shin Doa

 ๋࣭ ⭑ characters ; shin doa, mentions of song seoyi, sasha flores, and lalita suwannathat !  ๋࣭ ⭑ warnings ; violence, murder, brief mentions of csa and suicide !  ๋࣭ ⭑ word count ; 2k !

Doa’s mother’s only dream in life was to have a little girl. A perfect little girl she could dote on and dress in frills and bows, buy her dolls, and take videos at her dance recitals. She settled down with the first man who was willing to get her pregnant, but it took years of enduring a loveless relationship before she finally conceived. When she found out she was having a baby girl, she was absolutely overjoyed. Everything she had suffered through in life was finally worth it. She would have her baby girl and life would be perfect. 

But the universe has a knack for not giving you quite what you want in life. Doa’s mother, Seoyi, who had only ever wished and prayed for her, knew from very early on that there was something wrong with her little girl. Something off.

Doa spent the first few years of her life screaming and crying in what felt like a never-ending cycle. She’d lie and throw things and scribble all over the walls just to watch her mother scrub it off and do it all over again. She’d yell and thrash and bite when she didn’t get her way. As much as she wanted to slap that little girl around, Seoyi pretended, pretended, pretended. She had to pretend everything was perfect, but she was sure she was cursed. Her prayers were heard by a malevolent god who knew that everything came with a twisted price. They always say be careful what you wish for, right? Yet, she still dressed her up when she could, when Doa was calm enough to let her put those frills and bows on her. She still bought her dolls she would later break, ripping them limb from limb, and still signed her up for ballet lessons, attending every recital with video camera in hand.

She took well to dance lessons. Doa loved the attention she got when she performed, drinking in the awed stares and the look of her body contorting so beautifully in the mirror. Not to mention her mother was so relieved she had found somewhere to dump her for hours at a time, even if she had to find new studios for her every year or so. Every time another little girl would mysteriously get hurt or refuse to come to class out of fear.

Doa knew she was born wrong. Her mother told her as much in grade school when she pushed a girl in her dance class down the stairs in the hopes that she would get her role as a little snowflake in The Nutcracker. And again in high school when she got caught sleeping with a teacher. I mean, he was clearly the pervert there, right? She was just taking the advantage of getting better grades, what made her so bad for that? She knew there was something different about her when she laughed through a broken nose as her hands locked around the throat of the girl who snitched on them in the school stairwell. The metallic taste of blood flooding her mouth, staining her teeth red didn’t deter her. She didn’t feel anything besides exhilarated as the girl’s nails scratched at her arms and face, ripping into her flesh in her desperation. Doa was torn off her before the other girl had passed out, but she had wondered what it would have been like. What it would have been like to feel the fight leave her, the life strangled out of those loose fucking lips.

She was scouted by SM Entertainment when she 14. The man had chased her down an empty street to give her the card, breathlessly claiming her visuals were stunning. Any other girl being followed by a strange man would have been afraid. The way she clutched the pocket knife she stole in her jacket pocket may have given an outsider the impression that she was. But her heart didn’t hammer as his footsteps quickly caught up to hers in the dim lighting. She didn’t run, she didn’t change her pace of walking a single fraction. In fact, she was hoping he would lay his hands on her so she could have an excuse to ram that little blade right between his ribs. She wanted to see what that white button-up would look like as the vivid, sticky red soaked through.

She always knew how to hide it well enough. She knew how you were supposed to react in any given scenario. Laugh when a boy tells a joke he thinks is funny, even if it’s terrible. Smile when someone helps you with something, even if they’re just trying to get something out of you for it. Cry when the dog on the tv dies, that is not the time to laugh or judge the idiot main character. But that sadistic streak remained. She liked to get a rise out of the other girls in the practice rooms. Made snide, hidden comments about their appearances in the mirror. Snickered in the back of the room when they messed up. Flirted with the boys they liked. She liked to see their faces turn bright red as the tears welled up in their eyes. It made her feel powerful, not sorry. She liked the ones who would join in. Well, tolerated may be the better word. But those who laughed with her, who pinched soft flesh and stole boyfriends, they were safer from her torment. Doa liked being feared. But she liked being followed even more. She loved being loved, being revered like an uncaring god, a twisted Madonna. The feeling gave her a rush of power like nothing else, and she knew that it was all she wanted to pursue in life.

She received a warning from SM when the whole expulsion from school for physical fighting happened, but they finally kicked her out when she was 17 after another trainee attempted suicide and listed her name at the top of her letter. Even though Doa was on track to debut with aespa, the girl’s parents were threatening legal action against the company and they decided she was much more expendable than the legal fees and bad press. 

Doa seriously considered finishing the job the bitch failed so miserably at. Spent nights dreaming about the different ways she could snuff that idiot girl from the Earth for ruining her shot. But when a recruiter from Prismatic reached out to her, she decided that if she was going to one day become so widely loved and revered that she was utterly untouchable... she needed to clean her act up. Or at least put on a good show of doing so. 

The training rooms at Prismatic were much different than the ones at SM. Far fewer trainees crammed into one room, less competition but fewer victims. It was much harder to hide her proclivity under those circumstances. Sure, she was still snide, still cunning, but she learned to be much sneakier about it. The average instructor saw a hardworking and talented girl who had a serious ambition but a minor attitude problem from time to time. She still had her annoyances and her allies, but there was no one she hated more than Lalita. She was too nice, too humble, and far too talented. All the instructors and other trainees fawned over her, a prodigy at dance and song, and just so so sweet. She was their very own Madonna, a pure little virgin chosen by God to bear his fruit of raw talent.

It was obvious that she was supposed to be the star of their soon-to-be group. Before Doa even made the cut Sasha knew it, and she was not one to keep that kind of thing to herself. That bubbling, boiling hatred in her blood only got worse and worse over time, as Lali got special time in the recording studio, private lessons, and even her own room in the dorm as their debut date got nearer and nearer.

No one can prove that Doa placed her foot there on purpose. Lali should’ve landed better on that jump instead of right onto the arch of her sneaker. It hurt her too, you know. Just because she didn’t tear her ACL like Lali did doesn’t mean a stomped-on-foot wasn’t painful. But something Doa didn’t consider in the placement of her foot that fateful day at practice was just how much the company favored Lali. In any other group, a debilitating injury a week before debut just meant they were out of the lineup altogether. Can’t dance, can’t debut. Doa never possibly imagined that Prismatic would delay their debut entirely after pouring so much money into it for one girl. And then to dangle debut right in front of their faces after two years just to snatch it away again for a group of nobodies? If Doa wasn’t positive that Prismatic was her one shot to the top, she would’ve run for the hills. Sending them to America to distract them could only work for so long, but Doa saw a window of opportunity far away from the rest of the watchful eyes of the company.

They all blame her for what happened. Of course, she couldn’t give two shits what they thought of her. Her members, the ones she was stuck sharing the spotlight with for as long as it took. She didn’t care about a single one of them, even Sasha who was so sure that she was her closest confidant. They were just a means to an end. And so was that measly little shove. I mean, it really wasn’t that hard, but the prow of the boat hit a wave at just the right time and well… that debut was going to be theirs with or without her this time. She did them all a favor really, they should be thanking her. Without Lali in the way, they’d all shine even brighter. And it’s not at all her fault that the bitch couldn’t swim. 

These days Doa sometimes wakes up feeling like she’s drowning, like she’s choking on salty waves as a hand drags her into the darkness by her ankle. Sasha says it’s probably PTSD or something, but Sasha is an idiot. Her mother always told her growing up that actions have consequences. She never cared before, never heeded one word her mother said to her besides just how beautiful and perfect her miracle baby girl was. But now, she feared she was being haunted, chased down in her subconscious by the spirit of a girl she always knew was a waste of space under those sweet little smiles and perfectly executed combinations. The dreams were tormenting her, having to layer on more and more concealer under her eyes to hide those dark circles for each stage. At least she was on the stage, she told herself. She was on the stage, she had made her debut, and Lali didn’t. She won. Yet she doesn’t feel quite so victorious when she lays down to sleep every night. God, perfect little Lali just had to ruin everything. Doa wanted to scream into every measly puddle of water she laid eyes on to just leave her the fuck alone. 

You hear that, Lalita Suwannathat? Leave her alone! 

There's got to be something seriously wrong with her.

[fungus-no69]

I title this one the weird ass clown guy i found under my shoe

They a bit (a lot) unhinged

[anti-ao3]

I remember hearing someone say that bullying and racism - and hate crimes in general - are not the same, and I could not disagree more.

While I don't recall explicit racism at my school, I distinctly remember the fact that the majority of bullying victims were POC. This also has to do with the school being a private, conservative christian environment, and there were very little black students and black teachers. This also applies to disabled/neurodivergent kids, and I suppose LGBTQ+ kids though I don't remember anyone openly coming out at the time (not that it would be a safe space to do so, honestly).

And bullying can be fatal, actually - and I don't mean only suicide (which is still unfortunately common, and should be taken seriously). Misogyny kills. Racism kills. LGBTphobia kills - which is what happened to Nex Benedict, for instance.

I'm really sick of people assuming that bullying is just a dumb little thing that happens at school. No, it isn't. It ruins lives. It already ruined my life even if my experience wasn't as severe as other cases. But kids of all marginalized groups die because of bullying.