#tw motherhood

[novasintheroom]

A nighttime snuggle

♡ Pairing - Dad!Vash x Reader

♡ Word count - 0.8k

♡ Warnings - none

♡ Description: You find your husband spending time with your newborn son.

Heavily inspired by this piece of art!

Waking in the dark isn’t anything new to you. An aching body isn’t either. What is new, though, is the blank spot next to you in bed.

Your hand reaches out and feels the diminishing warmth from Vash’s bed side. He left a little bit ago, then. You’re tempted to fall back asleep, only…your eyes adjust to the dark, and you see the lamplight on through the bedroom doorway, down the hall.

Bleary, you look at the watch at your bedside table, using moonlight through the window to see. Three-o-two A.M. You sigh, sitting up. You’re still tired, but love and duty calls, even if Cooper isn’t crying right now.

Carefully, you get out of bed, minding the creaking floorboards beneath the rug and down the hallway. Your nightgown brushes your ankles. As you get closer to the pillar of light coming from the other room, you slow and listen.

“Cooper…little Coop…” A pause. “My Cooper-boy…”

You peak in.

Vash is turned from you, but you see your son laying on his shoulder. His little face is slack with sleep. Your husband sways back and forth slowly, rubbing a hand up and down the baby’s back. A small hiccup escapes your son.

“Oh yeah?” Vash murmurs, gently patting Cooper’s back. A big burp escapes next, followed by a newborn grunt. “Oh wow. Holdin’ that one in, huh?”

You bite your lip to keep your giggle in. Part of you wants to go in, but another part tells you that this is Vash-and-Cooper time. You watch from the sidelines.

Vash readjusts the blanket Cooper’s swaddled in. Holds him closer, nuzzles the babe’s cheek with his nose. “Love you,” he says quietly, pressing a gentle kiss to soft cheek, “Love you Coop. Yeah. You’re my boy, huh?”

The look on Vash’s face, even from the side, is one of pure peace and tired bliss. Ever since Cooper’s birth two weeks ago, Vash has been nothing but a doting husband and father. His eyes close slowly, pressing his nose into Cooper’s hair and inhaling. He’s mentioned several times now how he loves the “new baby” smell he has.

Cooper lets out another low grunt, tiny fist escaping the blanket to rest on Vash’s shoulder. Vash reaches up with a hand and holds Cooper’s hand with two fingers, wiggling it. “You’re a bubba, a bubba-boy,” Vash sings a little tune, swaying his hips as he walks around the room, “A bubba-boy, a bubs.” Cooper lets out a little coo. Vash presses another kiss to his cheek. “My bubs.”

It’s then he turns and sees you in the shadows. Vash jumps, holding Cooper closer for a moment, before relaxing and sighing. Knowing you’re caught, you come into the lamp light and smile. “I didn’t hear him this time,” you greet.

Vash smiles and bounces the baby a little. “He wasn’t crying. I just…” he shrugs, “Just wanted to hold him.”

Your heart swells. “Hm.” You come forward and gently scratch the back of your son’s head. He has a full head of hair, just like his dad. “Did you sleep at all?”

Vash shakes his head. “Nah. I kept feeling like I was gonna jump out of bed at every little noise. Just wanted to check on him.” Such is the life of a new parent. Everything makes you on-edge and tired at the same time. He eyes you. “What about you? Did you sleep?”

You pause a moment. “I had some weird dreams, so yes.”

He lays a cheek on Cooper’s head. “What were they about?”

You shake your head. “I’ll tell you later. This is your time with him.”

Vash looks a bit guilty. “It’s okay if you want to see him too, you know.”

“I know. But it’s good to have one-on-one time with him too.” You yawn. “Besides, I know he needs a bottle soon. I’ll go make it.”

“No, mayfly, you go back to bed – “

“I’m already up, hon. You snuggle him, I’ll go get him a bottle.” You lean forward and press a kiss to the corner of Vash’s mouth, then to Cooper’s head. Vash gives in easily – much more easily than he would have five years ago – and goes to sit in the armchair in the corner of the room.

As you leave the room, you smile, hearing Vash start up his little tune again. “You’re my bubs, my bubba-boy, my Cooper-boy, my Cooper-bubs~” That nickname is going to stick for a lifetime, you can already tell.

[babybluebex]

yes i know i'm extremely late on the mother's day front, seeing as i've got 10 minutes left in the day, but don't think about being dom's wife and having your first mother's day with him

like i think the first one would be while you're still pregnant, and you go to his house and have lunch with miss jennifer and bella and dom, and he's sorta being protective the whole time even though he doesn't need to be, just helping you stand up and sit down, getting up to get you stuff so you don't have to get up, stuff like that and he gets up to get you more water while at lunch, and his mom waits until he's fully out of the room before leaning forward and going "i've never seen him like this before" and you're like "aha yeah he's acting a little neurotic today... more than usual" and miss jennifer is like "no, i mean... he's good around his cousins and their kids, but i've never seen him... attentive like this. this is a first for him" and bella chimes in "yeah, he's bending over backwards for you. i mean, as he should, you're literally carrying his child, but he's never been like this" and you're like "huh. weird." but he comes back before any of you can say more and lands a kiss on your head as he sits down and when you go to leave, miss jennifer hands you a little gift bag "don't open this until you're back home" and winks at you, and she hugs you "happy mother's day, momma" and you do as your mother-in-law asked, you wait until you're back in your nyc apartment and your husband goes to futz around in the nursery as per usual (he always has some sort of project that he's doing, adjusting the furniture or rearranging the books on the shelf; you think he's making up excuses just to spend time in there) and you sit on your bed as you go into the bag and extract a little striped onesie, an old baby clothes brand that you're not sure exists anymore, snaps on the front and little mitts over the hands, and the tag inside says "newborn", but then you notice a little red stitching on the back of the collar: DAS. dominic a sessa. and your eyes water and your heart explodes as you hold your husband's baby onesie, and you tug out the card from the bag and read jen's handwriting "we brought dominic home from the hospital in this onesie. hopefully you can do the same with your own. you know who to call if you need anything. xo, grandma jen" and you go to dom in the nursery and sniffle as you show him the onesie and he chuckles "oh wow... this old thing..." and he rests his hands on your little belly as he kisses your shoulder "this time next year, they'll be with us"

and he's right, fast forward 365 days, and you wake up to a light knock on the door to the bedroom, you squint and grunt, and the door winges open to show your husband, a shadow on his jaw, your six month old son in his arms as he balances a plate in one hand, and little frankie squeals when he sees you, and it puts an instant smile on your face "well, hi, boys" you rasp sleepily, and you reach out for your son, taking him in your arms and dom sits on the edge of the bed and smiles as he watches you land a kiss on his son's nose, and he says "do you know what today is?" and you wrinkle your eyebrows "sunday?" and dom laughs "well, yes, but what else?" and you shrug, bouncing fussy frankie a little "it's mother's day" and you're like "oh. i forgot. i have to call my mom" and dom's like "right, but eat some breakfast first" and the plate he brought in has pancakes and cut-up strawberries on it, and dom says "frankester helped me cook. didn't you, stink?" and frankie claps a little in excitement "and by 'helped you cook', you certainly mean he ate some mashed-up strawberries while you burnt a few pancakes?" you ask, grabbing a strawberry with your fingers "the only way he knows how to help" dom nods, and he falls silent while you start to eat, but you notice his unusual silence, and you're like "what's wrong, dommy?" "nothing" he says easily "just enjoying our first mother's day as a family" and you can't help but smile, and you tug dom by his arm into a kiss, and frankie reaches up to touch his father's chin and he does a tiny baby giggle that makes dom laugh "alright, mister, what's so funny?" he asks, and frankie just looks at him with the same almond dark eyes that dom has and a smile on his gummy mouth

[hauntedhowlett]

girl dinner this and girl dinner that but no one mentions mom dinner where you end up eating five cold dinosaur nuggets with their heads bitten off, half a banana, and apple skins

[jechristine]

Your baby is so sweet. 😍 I’m glad I got to glimpse him before you take it down. As a woman in her late 20s/early 30s, do you have any advice for those of us who are on the fence about children and motherhood? When I think about having and supporting a child, I just don’t know how to wrap my head around it. My partner and I both work and make enough to get by, but we don’t have generational wealth and don’t live close to family. We’d be amazing parents but there’s so many obstacles. We both deal with chronic but manageable health issues. How would we afford childcare and healthcare and student loan debt and safe housing (we rent, probably forever with the housing market like it is)? Or when considering having kids, do you just hope for the best and not think about all of the scary things?

You and I are a lot alike. My husband and I doing pretty well and are happy in our jobs, but we both went to school for a long time (some would say too long!) and we didn’t get any money from our parents to buy property so we, too, rent and we have seemingly interminable student loans. And our parents live far away, but they will come visit if, say, my husband is going to be away for a week on a work trip. To be honest, we would have more kids if we felt that we could afford more daycare and aftercare and college savings, etc.

Yes, we basically just hoped/are hoping for the best lol. We had my daughter before I was employed, when I was still finishing my degree. And it was really rough for a while, financially! Still we can’t afford everything that my daughter wants (like, ballet OR gymnastics? Favorite restaurant on Friday but not on Tuesday, too, etc.) We’d probably travel more or live in a bigger house or fancier neighborhood if we had more money and fewer expenses, too. So there are compromises.

One thing I’ll say about kids is that before they show up, they can feel like strangers who are coming to ruin your life. You don’t know them, let alone love them, and so it’s not really rational to invite this massive responsibility and financial burden into your life. BUT when they arrive, and IME increasingly over the first year, they become the most lovable, magical little people, and also IME there’s no love like the love for a child. Speaking for myself, I never truly imagined what that love would feel like before it was there. It’s life altering. I would give up every other experience I’ve ever had to keep motherhood.

Back down to earth, I’d say look into state and local benefits around childcare and food. We have so far to go as a country (I’m assuming you’re American), but depending where you live and your income, there may be supports that you haven’t considered.

And last thing—I’m speaking for my experience only, and part of that is that I have a wonderful partner who gladly does 50% or more of domestic labor and at-home childcare. I’m not saying it can’t be done otherwise. One of my very good friends on her own adopted a child 6 years ago and is making it work. But that’s another thing to consider.

[dreams-of-fate]

"Somewhere between those beginnings and now, Rebecca traded her disinterest in motherhood for an obsession she can't articulate. She was wary, until she wasn't. She didn't want a baby, until it became the only thing she needed.

And yet most of the time, she's angry at herself for being a hostage to the longing. The desperation feels like her greatest weakness. She can't find the discipline to escape it, despite how tightly she can focus every other part of herself. Every other thought she has."

~ the whispers, pg. 96.

[sleepingsun501]

HDJWIDHWVDSO NAY OMG IM SOBBING 😭😭💙 This is so sweet and perfect and I love it!! Fives deserves a loving family and Echo would’ve loved baby Ekko so much!!

a little echo - dad!fives x mom!f!reader (republic victory au)

main masterlist

⭒ summary: mischievous, giggly, and absolutely adorable. what else could you expect from a miniature version of fives? ⭒ word count: 1.8k ⭒ pairing: dad!fives x f!reader ⭒ cw/tw: tooth-rotting fluff, parenting, motherhood, republic victory au where echo died at the citadel ⭒ a/n: i had baby fever and when @stcrmhond came into my inbox with dad!fives, my mind went into OVERLOAD. baby i see u and ur dad!wolffe mention and LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING... that's probably on its way too cause i have no self-control hehe

-

The first thing that you noticed when you walked through the door of your apartment was the silence. 

   It was quiet.

Too quiet. 

   Normally, a pair of big black boots and a two-year-old’s light-up shoes would be scattered by the door. The air would smell of burnt food from Fives’ attempt to cook dinner after your shift or Ekko would come sprinting up to you with his thick little hands making grabbing motions, eyes full of happy tears as he would beg to be picked up. 

   But, your apartment remained silent. 

   There were no boots or tiny blue shoes by the door. The box of toys was closed tightly and everything stayed clean, including the air that smells like… something sweet? You couldn’t name it and you didn’t have the time to sit and think about it. 

   Hooking your keys on the wall, you slipped off your shoes and shut the door, calling out, “Fives? Ekko? Baby, are you home?” 

   Silence. 

   You frowned, unable to hide the touch of worry as you called out their names once more. Steady footsteps walked to the kitchen, dejected to see that everything was cleaned and put away. You’d rather it be messy and chaotic than so dull and dreary. The nervous pit in your stomach only grew when you ventured down the hall toward your bedroom. 

   As the door opened with a hiss, you cringed, half expecting Fives and Ekko to come jumping out with some sort of prank. Instead, you saw Fives’ armor hanging neatly in its corner, right alongside his blaster and helmet. Straightened sheets showed no sign of Fives’ daily nap and Ekko’s blue blanket, crocheted by Cody but gifted through Rex, sat in its spot between your pillows, folded and untouched since the morning. 

   It was unnerving to know that your home was silent when both of your boys should have been here. 

   Biting your lip, you realized that there was one more room left to check before you were going to call Fives’ comm. With a deep breath, you walked to the door just outside the bedroom — the door painted blue and covered in stickers of GAR ships and various troopers. 

   Much to the 501st’s dismay (but the 212th’s delight), many of the trooper stickers happened to be men in yellow rather than blue. 

   You reach your hand towards the panel when you suddenly paused and pressed your ear against the door. 

   Even though the layers of metal, you caught the trace of a deep and heavy snore, followed by a soft yet undoubtedly mischievous giggle. 

   Chewing on your cheek, you opened the door and peeked your head into Ekko’s room. 

   Clad in grey sweatpants and a tight black tank top, Fives lay sprawled and asleep on the carpeted floor, snoring like an angry bantha in spring. While the faint hiss of the door opening didn’t exactly wake him from his coma nap, the little brown-haired toddler sitting on his chest glanced up with wide eyes of shock, frozen from being caught red-handed with a blue marker in his hand. 

   You slapped your hand over your mouth, clenching your eyes shut as you struggled to hold in a series of loud laughter.

Ekko dropped the marker down in his lap and flashed you a shy smile, dimples creasing his cheeks. His small hand nervously slapped over Fives’ face like he could cover the evidence of his boredom, but all it did was simply wake up his father. 

   With a curt snort, Fives’ eyes snapped open. He blinked, glancing at Ekko with furrowed brows as he reached up to move the small hand from his cheeks. 

   “What the he-e-e-y-y, mesh’la!” He gave you a happy smile, oblivious to the shit-faced grin that you hid underneath your palm. “You’re home late! I didn't make dinner so I figured we'd order somethin' and maybe watch a holofilm tonight-” 

   Clearing your throat, you finally lowered your hand and gestured to your face. “Uh, baby, you got a little something there.” 

   He arched his brows, glancing back and forth between you and Ekko before steadily standing up. Hiking the toddler onto his hip, he walked up to the window and lifted the blinds. The moment he was greeted with a tattooed reflection, his eyes bulged and his mouth fell open in surprise — a look that made Ekko burst with laughter, consequently making you fall into giggles as well. 

   Fives scooped the baby up into the air, holding him right above his face as he accused with a grin, “You did this? You pranked me? You’re barely two!” 

   “He’s obviously a quick learner,” you snickered, turning to grab a wet towel from the bathroom.

   When you returned, Fives was back on the floor with Ekko on his chest, grinning as the toddler continued scribbling happily on his face. Ekko was now kicking his feet, speaking in his toddler language to an intently-listening Fives. With a sigh, you settled the towel on the dresser and laid down beside Fives. He reached over your hip, resting his hand comfortably on your thigh as you settled your cheek on his shoulder. 

   Ekko paused drawing on Fives’ face to raise his marker and happily say, “Blue. Daddy blue.” 

   “That’s right,” Fives beamed proudly, giving you a pointed look. “Look at him, already representing 501st blue. Cody's gonna hate this but Rex? Ah, he's going to piss himself crying when I tell him.” 

   “That man needs his own child,” you mumbled as you pressed your lips to Fives’ shoulder. “Or else he’s going to end up stealing ours.” 

   Fives snorted and rolled his eyes. Ekko giggled and quickly mimicked him, echoing the same snort and a half-attempted eye roll. 

   You smiled, playfully running your fingers up his leg to his chest before tickling him, earning a series of happy giggles. Fives kissed your forehead and looked back at Ekko with glistening eyes. 

   Even though two years had passed, it seemed as if he’d never get used to the marvelous fact that he had his own little replica of himself. Not a clone, but a blend of you both, created properly with parents who loved him in a world that was finally safe. 

   But, as much as Fives loved his son, he would always see a piece of someone else in Ekko. The face that had left him far too soon. The man whose chosen name was passed onto his nephew; a perfect decision now that Ekko had truly grown into his personality. Each day that passed, Fives saw more and more of his twin in his son’s eyes. They shared the same laughter; the same shy inclination towards mischief; the same knack to mimic others either intentionally or unintentionally. 

   It was heartwarming and Fives wouldn’t have it any other way… but it was a reminder of what he had lost in order to gain. 

   He talked to you about this, voicing a worry that he would one day come to turn Ekko away for looking and acting too much like Echo. He was afraid that Echo would become too much of a painful memory, preventing him from looking at his son without a gaze of loss. 

   I don’t know how to be a dad, he had said. I…I didn’t have one. The biggest father figure in my life was Rex but even that’s a stretch. What if I can’t do it? What if I’m going to miss something or do something that makes him hate me? You know how they get when they’re older… what if I mess up?

   What if…What if… What if…

   By now, it was instinct to know when he would fall into this train of thought. The silence was the first tip-off, and the subconscious way he’d seek your touch and hold you was the second. When his arm moved to loop around your shoulder, pulling you against the side of his torso, you knew that he was struggling and turned your head to look up. 

   “Fives,” you said softly, causing his eyes to open and flicker towards you. Ekko stood from his chest to seek out more markers, giving you a moment to prop yourself up on your elbow and press a kiss to Fives’ cheek. “You are a good father. He’s too young to tell you this, but what you’re doing? It’s enough. Just being here and doing this?” You playfully pinched his marker-covered cheeks. He softly smiled and swatted at your hand. “It means more than you know. You don’t need to have a father in order to be a good one. And he obviously loves you more than me.” 

   Ekko walked over just in time to hear the last part, causing him to furrow his brows and shake his head. 

   “No?” Fives dramatically gasped, splaying his hand over his chest. “No? So you’re telling me that mom’s better?” 

   Ekko hid his hands behind his back, shyly dipping his chin when he looked at you. You arched a brow, waiting for him to say yes, only for Ekko to suddenly shake his head and point at Fives. Slapping a hand over his mouth, he giggled into his palm when Fives let out a happy holler. You grinned and nodded, patting Fives’ chest for Ekko to sit back down. 

   “See?” You craned your neck to kiss Fives’ cheek. “Told you.” 

   Fives simply nodded, shifting his attention to Ekko as he roughly sat down. An oof slipped past Fives’ lips, twitching into a frown when Ekko raised a red and orange marker instead of blue. “What? Ad’ika, Daddy hates every color except blue.” 

   “Mommy doesn’t,” you smirked, tapping your cheek. “Tat me up, baby.” 

   Fives gave you a deadpanned stare, repeating, “Tat me up?” 

   You paused and sighed. “I’ve been spending too much time with the Corries.” 

   He nodded in agreement, smirking as Ekko uncapped the red marker with a sharp pop. He leaned over, drawing a squiggle up your cheekbone. As you giggled at the ticklish sensation, you caught Fives’ loving gaze and raised a hand, cupping his cheek and swiping your thumb across his goatee. 

   “I love you,” you said firmly, shifting your gaze to Ekko as he drew a circle in your cheek. “And I love you, baby boy. So, so, so much.” 

   Ekko sat back, pressed his lips into his palm, and blew you a kiss. You pretended to catch it and place it against Fives’ heart. 

   Fives chuckled and cupped the back of Ekko’s head, pulling him close to smack a brief kiss onto his forehead. Ekko smiled and continued writing along the side of your face, flashing you cheeky little grins whenever he caught your eyes. 

   “I don’t know what I did to deserve this,” Fives said softly so that only you could hear.

   “You don’t have to do anything to deserve something good in life. No one does.” 

   He chuckled. “Sure you’re not a Jedi? I swear, I think I heard Master Plo say something similar-” 

   You playfully pinched his nose, forcing him to breathe through his mouth. “Smartass.” 

   “Osik, baby,” Fives muttered nasally, reaching for your fingers. “You’re pinching hard-”

   Ekko immediately perked up, causing you to pale and Fives to break out in a big grin right before the toddler could scream out, “OSIK!”

   Fives howled out in laughter while you let out a deep, lamenting groan. 

   “THAT’S MY BOY!”

-

taglist ( + friends who might like this!)

@a-c-lee @eloquentmoon @frietiemeloen @misogirl828 @twistedstitcher27 @twinkofthedink @jedipoodoo @literallydontlook @corona-one @littlemousedroid @fett-djarin @rexxdjarin @pinkiemme

[elusive---ivory]

Yandere!Husband x Mother!Reader

I figured since it is Mother's Day (where I am anyways). I would make another piece about your Yandere husband and your life with him <3. TW: afab, pregnancy mention, nsfw mentions, children, possessive behavior, manipulation.

From the moment he laid his eyes on you, he knew he had to have you. You were everything he could think about. Your eyes, hair, and smile captivated him so much. He was practically dying to be in your arms.

There was one thing in his way, though. It was that you only saw him as a mere friend. Nothing more, nothing less. He had gone through the same experience time and time again. He determined to make you see that he was the one for you.

Whether it be tiny little white lies that shake your self-esteem so that you only come to him for guidance. Or he might sabotage your relationships with your friends to show you that he's the only one you can trust. He would go as far as to create doubt that your current partner could be cheating on you, so that you would dump that partner, just to favor him.

How he would stalk your social media page for hours, searching keywords to get the best photos of you. When you finally let your barriers down, you asked him on a date. At first, he didn't know how to react. He maintained a very cool and calculated persona but bursts into an excited squeal whenever he's around you. He's so grateful to be in your presence. He's like a lovesick puppy!

He would definitely show up with flowers every day because he absolutely adores you. He dresses to impress so you also wonder how many tuxes he owns because he wears so many. He enjoys it when he kisses you. he can't help but stare in your eyes, completely in love.

He had prepared to propose to you the moment he meet you. He wanted you to become his completely. He was patient and he was kind, but only for so long. When you took it upon yourself to ask for his hand in marriage, he was over the moon. He was finally going to get the happy ending he so desperately longed for. He had a ring your size and was already planning wedding preparations.

The day he got married to you would be the best moment of his life. He adores you in your wedding gown and tears up at the sight of you walking down the aisle. He's so happy to share this day with you. You're his only one.

When your children were born, your husband couldn't be more joyous. You had twins, which was double the diapers and tasks. But, he was more than happy to help out with them as toddlers or infants. He loves his children because they are a reflection of his endless love for you. Because you are apart of their creation, he can see your eyes in the twins.

He will die, kill, or even throw a bomb for his beautiful family, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

[bitchesgetriches]

To be clear... this didn't all happen ON the girls' trip...

[kitkinnie]

something about weird little girls and weird old women and raising kids and changelings

[samanthamulder]

TVARCHIVE'S TV APPRECIATION WEEK 2023 | DAY 7: the show you wish everyone would watch

EVIL (2019- ) — The church has a backlog of about 500,000 requests for exorcisms and miracle appraisals. And [we] are hired by the church to investigate unexplained phenomenon and to recommend whether there should be an exorcism or further research. -I didn't know that was a job. -It is.

[feral-ballad]

I was a sick child in so many ways, always bent with allergies, forever frozen, bloated, out of my body. Because there was no refuge anywhere, I believed that I had to adapt to my shitty life, so every year I tried to accept it, accept the turmoil, the suicidal ideation my mother’s presence left me in. The way her groping fingers left my body forever in a state of distress. I didn’t know peace or reprieve. I only felt an anger I couldn’t express, and the more I wanted to, the more I grew fearful of doing so, inevitably shutting down.

Fariha Róisín, from Who Is Wellness For?: An Examination of Wellness Culture and Who It Leaves Behind

[somenerdfromwhatever]

Dear Parents who think disowning their kids are cool

Hi. Apparently I still have this. It’s cool, I’m going to use it for my long thought pieces anyway. Regarding recent events in the LGBT community scene, namely Vivian, a trans-girl going against her dad, Elon Musk himself, I reflected a lot on a question I asked onto Reddit recently (I know I know Reddit sucks but it got me thinking):

Why are some parents so okay with disowning trans kids when they gave birth to them?

This is a pretty tough question with some pretty rough answers, but after seeing the shit I saw last week and now, something has to be said on the matter. Content warning because we're dealing with heavy hitting topics like abandonment, and family drama. Also content warning for what I am about to present because, well, I'm pissed.

It is no secret why I bought the Vivian and Elon Musk thing up to tackle this question as having a billionaire shit talk their own kin that they gave birth to is sickening and inhumane. Heck even before his venture into buying Twitter, he was constantly berating her for just being her own genuine self. Heck in her thread on Threads, her father was a massive deadbeat to her. Unsupportive and hostile who wasn’t there in her life all because her crime was being herself. It’s sad isn’t it? This is one of the most wealthiest humans on the planet mind you, the guy that can end world hunger, have massive funds to pool into medical care to accelerate a cure to cancers, but instead he chooses to defame, harass, and downright abuse his own child for being their true self. And given the recent lights of Elon being a dead beat, I also say in my opinion, he just left her to die. He bought Twitter under the guise of fighting censorship, but yet only to impose his own narrow worldview on others to fuel his slander to his own kin. This hypocrisy is disturbing given recent events as he was fighting for the very thing he fought against.

It’s not just the LGBT community, does anyone else remember that mom from an Autism Speaks documentary about how she wanted to commit a murder-suicide on her daughter just for being autistic? Her name was Alison Singer. A name all too well in the community when discussing neurodiversity and programs that don’t speak for us. You also have the case of Kelli Stapleton who ACTUALLY DID IT.

You also have parents like the ones from Toddlers and Tiaras, where Carly developed a spilt personality disorder thanks to their own MOM because Carly loathed being forced into competitions. Heck I even grew up with the whole DaddyOFive situation where Mike abused Cody. So now the question becomes this:

Why are parents willing to disown their children for being who they are? And regardless of their differences, why would they do that when they are the ones who gave them the life to live on this planet?

And with the rise of LGBT hate, disability hate, it seems like every difference a human makes can make a parents cut ties with them in a heartbeat. With no answer in sight, I might as well make one.

Now, look. What I’m going to address next is harsh, but it’s a reality that every parent needs to accept.

If you are pregnant, and you gave birth to a kid, as newfound parents, that child you are holding in your hand is not your property. They are their own soul, and you better let them be their own soul. They have one life to live on this planet, make their moments count. If you toss them aside, berate them, and even disown because you can't handle differing ideologies, interests, etc. don't call yourself a parent. A parent by definition is being there for your children. A parent who tosses them aside over them being different no matter how or what isn’t a parent at all. And parents who disown them, and kick them out... well. I consider them brain-dead murderers, as they are tossing their kin out to die in society. Yep, I'm going there. Parents who disown and kick their kids out to fend for themselves in society (which they all die too sadly) are murderers.

So what if they express their identity?! So what if they have disabilities they grew up with?! So what?! You still gave birth to them! You lead and support them! And YOU need to give your next of kin independency and not turn them into a slave you can mold in YOUR IMAGE.

This is the TRUE PRO-LIFE STANCE. The actual truth to being PRO-LIFE. To be PRO-LIFE, you have to be PRO-CHOICE as the truth about PRO-CHOICE is letting a human appreciate how they want to live their life and appreciating their own say on the matter. To put it in words that are easier to understand, I inputted this mombo jumbo into GPT to explain it in Caveman:

To support life, you must let people choose how they live. Respect their choice and let them decide. That is true PRO-LIFE.

How is that a hard concept to understand? Like seriously? My parents support my career path to becoming involved heavily in post-production! Heck I'm still on that goal and still dreaming on working on my favorite show on Netflix, Wednesday! They were surprised back when I was a pre-teen about to be heading to high school for this to happen! I was a kid who loves to hold camcorders, a kid who edited a YouTube Poop which landed me into a one-day suspension from school, and a kid who loved making these every day. My parents accepted me for who I was especially since I grew up with autism and it was a new thing TO THEM. Heck even with my Wednesday video gaining traction, my Mom accepted me for being non-binary! So you tell me then, answer me the following: Do you think for just a second that you're doing the right thing by throwing kids like us out? Do you think you're justified in abandoning your own flesh and blood just because they don't fit into your narrow-minded ideals? Newsflash: you're not. You're failing at the most basic level of parenthood. You brought a life into this world; you don't get to just walk away when things get tough or when your child's identity challenges your beliefs. I never watched the Saw movies, but I do seen the complexities of the character John Kramer, the infamous Jigsaw killer. Say what you want, but is he wrong about how we should appreciate life?

To appreciate life, it's means to value all life. All HUMAN life, including the individuality and identity of the next generation. Whether it's your kid you birthed, or a kid passing by, the fact is they are their own soul. You don't control other people's souls, you have to appreciate their own life by their own choices. It's this freedom to be themselves. Letting children grow into their true selves.

Parents, your role if you birth a kid is so straightforward it is astounding how you ignore this.

This isn't about you. I've been on this planet for 25 years now. 25 years. We get it, parenting is hard. My parents had to adapt with my autistic video making non-binary self. They supported everything that I do. You chose to bring a child into this world. You owe them love, support, and acceptance UNCONDITIONALLY. Anything less is a failure on your part, not theirs, YOURS. Disowning your child is the ultimate act that makes you no different then a murderer who kills people just for being different. It's choosing your comfort over their happiness. I would never leave any next generation of mine out to die, and I will accept who they are no matter what they are regardless of interest, disabilities, and identity. I also find it hilarious when this happens, they happened to label them as groomers. Last I checked, the definition of it on every dictionary is "to make (someone) ready for a specific objective". (Verb Definition 3a on Webster's Dictionary for example) Sure it has been co-opted with the abusive nature, but the original definition set is stone is forcing someone onto a specific act. So if you disown a kid for not conforming to your standards on the basis of identity or something else, remember that you, in fact, are the one trying to "groom" them into your image. And if your kid is LGBT, well, that is telling on yourself at this rate, because under this logic and definition that's been there since the dawn of time... you, the parent who disowned them, are the real groomers here and the kids you raised are doing as you said, protecting themselves from groomers like you. You excuse and shift blame onto other people when you are the living definition of it raising your kid in your own image instead of living their own lives. And yes. I fucking said it. It deserves to be said. I stand by this notion.

In this current climate, where LGBT hate is on the rise and intolerance is being amplified by those in power, it's more crucial than ever for parents to stand up and protect their children. And if you are a kid and your parents are like this, abusing you, grooming you into their own perfect image, call them out, because this toxic generational trauma has to end. The world is already a harsh and dangerous place for anyone who doesn't fit into the so-called 'norm.' Take it from me, a neurodivergent who has to mask just to get through. Imagine how much worse it becomes when the very people who are supposed to love and protect you turn their backs on you. Oh to all those deadbeat parents I mentioned, Mike Martin (DaddyOFive), Elon Musk, Kelli Stapleton, Alison Singer, and others. Yeah they are hitmakers, advocates, and superstars in their minds, but to end it with a familiar Kendrick Lamar lyric, they are "fucking deadbeat that should never say more life."

I hope you read that Kendrick Lamar lyric well, because if you disown your kids just for being who they are, you shouldn’t say you’re “for the kids”.

I beg you parents of old and new, please take these words seriously. No kid would ever want a parent like that.

Good night.

[tinyhandsonmyapron]

05.19.2024

I found out yesterday that I'm finally pregnant! 💛

We had actually just had our consultation with a fertility specialist Friday, the day before. I feel like that timing is so funny, like I had to scare my body into behaving: "if you don't work, you're gonna end up poked and prodded and all kinds of shots and medications, so get it together!" Idk maybe that's just my sense of humor.

Now to call my OBGYN tomorrow, get on the waitlist at my son's daycare, and decide when to tell people!

We're going to Disney World in two weeks. I had wanted to wait to tell my family until 12 weeks because honestly my mom stressed me out last time haha, but I don't know if I'll be able to keep it a secret when I'm turning down going on rides I love so much.

I'm just so relieved and grateful and maybe now more anxious? What if after all this time and heartbreak month after month I lose it?

Also I have a strong gut feeling it's a girl. I didn't have that with my son, at least, not until I started feeling his flutters around 16 weeks. Then I knew he was a boy, even if I somewhat preferred a girl. I also had a different girl name in mind, but it's the strangest thing. If it's a girl after all, I know her name, and I was actually not my first choice.

I just love this baby so much already 💛🥹

[blatantlynotokay]

Being An @na Mom

I feel like having Anna has not changed me much as a mom. Many a therapist and mutuals have always been worried about how my @na affects my children.

Yes I keep snacks in the house (see photo) my children have their own access to the snacks and are able to get snacks at anytime with the day they wish to. Majority of the snacks are organic or relatively healthy such as chips, organic fruit bars, and organic applesauce pouches. As for their meals, I typically hand make all of their meals. Breakfast can look like pancakes and eggs or maybe turkey bacon and oatmeal. Lunch can be a homemade non-processed peanut butter and homemade jelly sandwich. And typically for dinner we have some sort of chicken and veggies or fish and veggies. Dinner is usually the only meal that I eat the food with, but I don’t think they’ve ever thought that was strange that mommy doesn’t eat exactly what they eat because they never really eat the same thing anyways. I know this can seem like a lot that I make three different dishes for every meal But I never really find it tedious and everything’s quite easy to make.

I tried to make sure that my children have a very healthy relationship with food. I never try to restrict in anyway, shape or form. Some days they want fast food or pizza for dinner and I never really tell them no unless we’ve had that the day before. I still let them. Typically, I do not eat what they eat for dinner. I will just make something else and I don’t think that they’ve ever thought that it was weird or strange that mommy doesn’t eat pizza or McDonald with them. They’ve always just accepted that that’s how things are. And my oldest knows that I have various health concerns and can’t eat typical foods. I have a gluten intolerance and pcos. Which, even if I wasn’t, Anna would stop me from eating certain foods.

I tried to create a different environment then what I grew up. My entire life my parents had always been obese. Not just slightly overweight, but medically considered obese. it was always so interesting though because my parents would never let me eat snacks or sugary cereal and essentially we had an ingredient household. my parents were never home once I started elementary school. They would often tell me to feed myself, but in an ingredient household as a five-year-old I would typically just end up eating a slice of bread. They wouldn’t come home for dinner often so I would end up eating very little throughout the day. They never packed my lunch or gave me money for lunch so I typically never ate at school (this was a time before school had free lunch). Not eating was just a normal thing for me in my childhood so I always try to make sure that my children always have access to food and are well cared for.

Another angle that people often attack me from is if I would become like Mrs. Hadid and her handful of almond. And personally, I don’t think that I ever would. I know that children will eat exactly how much they need to eat in order to fuel their body. I try to teach them healthy eating habits, such as if they’re bored to lean towards fruit or vegetable over processed food. While they are still very young 6 & 3 I don’t see myself changing this mindset. I grew up starving I know what it’s like to starve. I know what it’s like to cry yourself to sleep because your stomach hurts so bad. I never want that for my children. I honestly never want that for any of you reading this. But here we are.

I’m always pro recovery. Block don’t report

[a-j-s-the-only]

but I wonder, did your neglect shield me from something far worse?

or were you the worst in yourself

[alethianightsong]

BELOVED: A ghost story

To this day, I still have no idea what Beloved truly is (even though that's the whole point of her character). Most people write her off as just the ghost of Sethe's daughter, but in actuality, it's way, way more complicated than that. Morrison said once that Beloved represented every beloved person lost during the middle passage or due to the violence of slavery. This shows very well in Beloved's characterization. Yes, her core person is Sethe's daughter but there's also a lot of vindictiveness in her being. At first, she's mentally just a little girl wanting the warmth of her mother but then she turns mean and cruel, upset at being mercy-killed. Beloved's obsession with sugar kinda baffled me, but I guess many of the spirits within her used to work sugar plantations in the West Indies and since they weren't allowed to partake in the crop they grew, they're demanding it now through Beloved.

For the sake of discussion, let's settle on Beloved being the manifestation of every person forced to endure the trauma of slavery. Beloved craves. They crave the life denied them and crave some kind of compensation. They're angry, upset, restless, vengeful. Ghosts are theorized to be imprints left by the living and Beloved is all the imprints of African slaves rolled into one. She demands love from Sethe, sex from Paul D, companionship from Denver. In the end, she becomes a void sucking away at Sethe, a reminder that the past is easy to get trapped in and haunted by.

My personal theory on Beloved is that when Paul D drove her spirit out the house, she went to the afterlife and came back with the thoughts and memories of the other black people she interacted with down there. This is why her personality shifts dramatically as the book progresses. She's a revenant, poltergeist, wraith, dybbuk. She doesn't haunt the white people who perpetuated slavery, but those affected by it on a personal level. She is the past & trauma incarnate.