#BYHTD

[specialgradefckr]

Hey, Can I get a breakdown of satoru and suguru in the break your heart series. What’s their view points and how do they cope with everything in details? Thank you!

jkfghlsdhfg on one hand i love you all and it's so encouraging that you want to hear more about it. on the other hand,,,

i actually DO have the draft for part 2 guys!! i have everything all planned out, even potential ideas for part 3,,, like absolutely keep the encouragement coming bc i am a bit of an attention whore and i am LIVING for all of this but i can't go super in depth with the answers on part 1 anymore 'cause i'm sure you'd all rather have part 2 anyways!

in any case. here u go. spark notes.

suguru: he knows you have a crush on him. he's liked you for years. he wants you to make the first move, to act on your attraction, and because he's a little fucked up he wants you to do it in a BIG way,,, a way that leaves no doubt that you're as obsessed with him as he is with you.

with satoru he just considers him like... not exactly a dog bc he sees them as equals but sort of like a dog. satoru is upfront and feral with his feelings so suguru is very confident in his devotion if not his loyalty. they're close enough to see one another as an additional limb or something like that.

satoru: he knows you're super attracted to him but so would anyone with eyes. he's probably wanted to fuck you for a while but suguru got to him first. that did NOT stop him from wanting you.

probably feels some kind of way about your childhood friendship with suguru but he's not insecure about it. not because he's confident (to be fair, he IS), but because he is willing to kidnap/threaten/imprison/baby trap who knows what the fuck else if he feels is necessary to keep you guys.

[specialgradefckr]

Beat Your Heart to Death

tw: explicit content, extremely toxic dynamics. gojo/geto, gojo/reader, geto/reader, and yes, stsg/reader. female!reader. mutual pining, requited unrequited feelings, the yearning, good god, the YEARNING. relatively unwilling voyeurism. EXTREMELY manipulative dynamics – boundary pushing, gaslighting, etc.

satoru and suguru are completely fucking deranged. their brains are operating on a level where human consciousness and emotion just hits different. they say INSANE shit at the end of this fic. you have been warned.

This must be what dying feels like.

You watch them, together. Leaning against one another, sleeping, vulnerable. Curled up in each other's embrace.

This must be what dying feels like. Seeing the man you love and the man you lust for, so painfully, peacefully, blissfully in love with each other.

If this is dying, you're surely going to hell for thinking something so awful about a feeling so beautiful.

It’s the sort of thing you think to yourself, bury deep – deep – inside the recesses of your mind. Dredging it out in the late hours of the night when you can’t sleep. Wallowing in your unrequited love, feeling sorry for yourself, while also comforting yourself with the thought that at least now you didn’t have to do anything.

You would never have to approach your longtime crush, Suguru Geto, and potentially ruin your friendship with him. It was something you’d struggled with for years, and after Gojo showed up – you didn’t have to struggle anymore. It was already lost.

And the insane twists your fantasies would play out for you, in those lonely nights in bed – you could be free of those, too. You could completely dismiss the insane idea of propositioning the man-whore menace of a human being who made your heart race, Satoru Gojo.

Satoru and Suguru loved each other, and it would be wrong to get in the way of that. At this point, even saying anything to either of them would be a trespass on your friendship, with both of them.

That was all there was to it. Nothing more to be done. You were mourning your feelings. Strangling your dreamy sighs at Suguru’s kind gestures, stomping the flutter in your chest when you caught Satoru smiling. Killing your heart and leaving it to rot, stepping around it like it’s not there.  

Unfortunately, you couldn’t escape the fact that all three of you lived together.

It doesn’t help that Satoru is just as prone to PDA with Suguru as he was with all his numerous hookups. More, even, because he doesn’t keep it to just his bedroom, doesn’t make the token efforts to stay quiet at night and shoo them out in the morning.

You do your best. Look away. Try to ignore how your heart jumps, twists, does all sorts of funny things at the sight of them kissing.

Satoru’s pretty white lashes flutter closed, Suguru’s warm gaze softens, cheeks flushed as Satoru’s hands jump up to cling to him. He cups Satoru’s face like it’s a treasure, tilting his head and leaning into the kiss like he can’t get enough of it –

You’re staring, fuck. You’re looking too closely. The scene burns itself into your eyes and you want to rip them out, never see it again. But you struggle to avert your gaze, greedy mind committing every detail to memory with a racing heart, dry mouth.

Thirsty, you’re so thirsty, in every sense of the word. They lean into each other, so in sync and so affectionate in a way that tugs on your every heart string. Fuck!

You start to just leave the room when it happens. You’d rather die than get caught staring, you’d rather go without water than thirst for droplets.

And you’d really, really, rather cut your fucking eyes out than face the feelings the sight awakens in you. Longing, yearning, how you want to tear them both off each other at once, how you want to see more, more, more, you want to touch, you want to taste –

God, fuck. You’re like one of those shitty girls who fetishizes male relationships. Aren’t you? You feel like this might be that. But you’re attracted to both of them individually, so it can’t be that, right? You’re not a creep, you’re just greedy. You leave the room when they kiss! You’re respecting their privacy!

They notice, though, is the thing. Not your staring (god you fucking hope they’ve never noticed the staring) but how you leave the room when they get affectionate with each other. It’s Suguru who pulls you aside to ask.

“…and listen, I know you’re not like that, I totally know, so does Satoru. It just… makes him feel a little weird, you know? He was raised by a traditional family, so they either think this is a phase, or call him disgusting to his face.”

Fuck your life. Actually fuck your ENTIRE life. “Of course not – I never – ”

“No no no, I know, I told you, he does too, it’s just – it’s a little disconcerting for him. But I can talk to him, make him understand. This is your house, too, you have the right not to see that sort of stuff.”

That just makes you feel a bit worse, actually. Satoru and Suguru shouldn’t have to hide away in their room whenever they want to kiss. It’s their own home.

“I’m sorry, Suguru, I – I don’t have any problem with you guys doing it around the house. I just…” You shift uncomfortably. “I’m not super comfortable with… PDA sort of stuff. It has nothing to do with you both being guys.”

Suguru nods, “No, I understand completely. Satoru will be disappointed, but you’re setting boundaries, and I respect that – ”

“It’s not that,” You say, “I – you can do whatever you like, really, I’ll just leave – ”

“No,” Suguru interrupts with a sigh, “That’s what’s bothering him. I think deep down he’s a little worried that you find it… disturbing.”

Your chest tightens with anxiety as you rush to reassure him, “Of course I don’t!”  

“No, I know, I know, we both do,” Suguru says in that warm, comforting voice of his, “It’s just how he feels – you know he can’t control that.”

And then your stupid mouth rushes ahead of you. Writes a check your heart can’t afford to cash.

“It’s fine! You don’t have to stop, I. Just… tell him I felt like I was intruding. I didn’t think he saw it as me being disgusted.”

And your heart will pay willingly, because Suguru gives you that smile. Warm and affectionate. The smile you’d fallen in love with.

“You’re not intruding at all. I’ll tell him you said so, it’ll be a great weight off his mind.”

So now the love of your life makes out with his boyfriend and you can’t even leave the room. Hahah. God. Maybe you should start thinking of a way to move out?

Problem: When Satoru moved in, he’d basically started paying all the bills. He didn’t have to worry about being cut off from the family money – even at his young age, he had his own financial success. Even if it started out with a few trust funds and an appointed position at one of his parent’s companies.

Every rent listing looked expensive when your current rate was “free”. And fuck, rent was expensive. You’d have to deal with other roommates, people you didn’t know (and love) as long as Suguru (and Satoru, at this point, you’d known him for years), and you’d be paying for the privilege.

You try, oh, do you ever try to get over it. Sexuality is fluid, after all, so it’s perfectly possible that Satoru and Suguru just ended up being gay. Being with either of them may never have been an option, except maybe as one of Satoru’s flings.

And wouldn’t that just suck? To have one night with Satoru only to watch him realize he’s gay and mutually in love with your longtime crush? Better to never sleep with him at all. You can’t miss something you’ve never had. And you wouldn’t want to be a fling anyways.

The thought stings more than it should, because deep down –

(You’d take it. You know you’d take it. That’s why you’re still here, really, under all the excuses. You’re fucking pathetic, pining for both of them. You’d take anything you could get.)

It doesn’t help that they get freer with their affections after your talk with Suguru. Looser. So unrestrained. You walk in on them fucking in the living room, having come back early from class, face burning up as you stand there stock still for a moment.

They don’t stop, or freak out, or cover themselves or anything. You see Suguru’s naked chest above the couch, Satoru’s hands pinned over the armrest of it, their bare legs and feet entwined and sticking over the other side of the couch. They’re both so fucking tall.

So beautiful. Satoru moans so pretty, and you hear Suguru purr, low and filthy, “Like that, you little whore?” and you feel yourself clenching all the way to your core.

You make a wild dash across the living room, staying on the other side of the couch so they can’t see you. Closing the door to your bedroom as quickly and quietly as you can, panting to yourself, feeling the heat rising on your face and the warm pulse between your legs.

(Pathetic, fucking pathetic. It’s like you’re actually some horny teenage boy with a crush on a pretty girl out of his league, rubbing one out every time you see her with her equally hot girlfriend.)

You’ve got to get ahold of yourself.

Your routine has changed, with the both of them being together, so openly. There were little things you’d shared, now gone, lost to the unfathomable whirlpool that was their relationship.

Used to be you’d buy sweets on grocery trips to share with Satoru. It was an old habit of yours, and when he’d first moved in, he’d caught you with them. Reaching for some with a grin before you smacked him away.

The look he gave you, a slow smirk before he went all wide-eyed and pleading, staggering to his knees like a proper starving drama queen – god, he had to know how he’d made your heart flutter. He probably pulled that on so many people.

Still, he would eat the candies right out of your hand, lips just teasing on your fingertips, eyes lingering on you while he licked his lips. It made you feel weird, at first, but you eventually realized that Satoru was just a weird guy.

He’d yawn and stretch and if he caught you or Suguru watching he’d flash his whole chest, like a girl flashing her tits. He slept naked and left the bathroom door open when he was using it, and he’d often knock when on your bathroom when you were in there, even if he had his own.

He had about ten different game consoles and games for them, plus a huge collection of movies, which he likes to watch with the room completely dark. He sleeps with a nightlight on, and his social media picture is an ugly picture of him from high school with these weird round sunglasses.

Not at all what you expected from a pretty boy like him. But Satoru’s eccentric charm, and the unstoppable allure of his perfect face and body, it rewired your brain somehow. You feel like you’ve wanted him for as long as you’ve known him.

You try to find other people. But the problem with living with Satoru and Suguru is that no one is up to your standards. You’ll never meet anyone as handsome or beautiful as either of them, so why bother?

In your defense, Suguru is hard to fall out of love with.

It’s not uncommon to wake up to the sound of your favorite breakfast being cooked while Suguru hums away in the kitchen, his pretty hair all tied back. If you sneak in quietly enough you can catch a tender smile on his face, the smell of freshly ground and brewed coffee he makes for Satoru in some expensive machine.

If you are unlucky, he’ll catch you, and that smile will grow as soon as his eyes are on you and you’ll fall in love all over again. If you’re lucky, you can sneak back away, but Suguru will eventually come and wake you up with a knock so gentle you suspect he already knows you’re up.

He shares his hair care routine, and it leaves your hair shiny and lovely. But your hair isn’t exactly like his, so he must have adjusted it.

He offers to help you brush or style it, himself, and asks you if you wouldn’t mind repaying the favor. Like you wouldn’t kill or die for the honor of running your hands through his silken locks.

Suguru is the type of guy who remembers when you get your period and asks if you need anything for it. You magically find your favorite fruits in the fridge, cut up, dipped in chocolate or caramel or yoghurt, however you like them best.

He does your laundry without being asked because he says it’s easier, and cleans dishes before you can get to them.

Every birthday he throws you a party, bakes a cake and he’ll spend hours to perfect a meal from scratch to go along with it. He’s perfect at finding a thoughtful present – Satoru just gives you cash, or some expensive luxury purchase you find fashionable but would never buy for yourself (Suguru definitely went shopping with him).

You get why Satoru likes him. Satoru’s sort of a slob, always leaving clothes on the floor – walking around shirtless like he knows exactly what it does to anyone watching “Just providing a public service, babe~” – and Suguru is so perfectly domestic.

Almost motherly. Whenever you misplace something, the fastest way to find it is invariably to ask Suguru, if he doesn’t approach you first with a concerned smile after watching you look.

After enough times catching Suguru sternly chide him for not putting away his clothes, leaving wrappers on the table, forgetting to put his shoes away; you’re relatively sure Satoru’s called him mom or mommy at some point. Possibly during sex.

And god, you get it. Those gentle tones of “Is everything all right?”, and “I tweaked the recipe, how do you like it?” and “I’m just really happy you enjoyed it.”, it’s enough to make your heart ache.

How, exactly, are you supposed to fall out of love with Suguru Geto?

How are you supposed to leave, how are you supposed to want to, especially when you swear you hear him call himself Daddy, and you find your face getting hotter than it should be.

Whispering to Satoru how “I’ve got you, baby,” and “Let Daddy take care of you, mhhm?”

And god, the high-pitched whimpers Satoru makes in response. He’s a tall guy, mewling, melting beneath Suguru’s hands, his words, his cock – and you could so easily imagine yourself in his place –

How are you supposed to be platonic about this?

 How are you supposed to stop touching yourself when they’re practically putting on personalized porn shows for you?

It's after the third time that you start to think they're doing this on purpose.

Whatever’s between them is something you just couldn’t understand. You get that, you do.

The way they look into each other’s eyes – there’s no way Suguru has ever looked at you like that, no way Satoru would ever want you that badly.

It’s something magnetic that makes them slot together at all times, draws their gazes to one another, leaves no room for anyone else –

But you stumble on them… a lot.

Never mind making out on the couch. You turn into the laundry room to see Satoru backed against the washer machine, his cock so far Suguru’s throat you can see it bulge.

His face is flushed, eyes teary, one hand loosely in Suguru’s hair while he whimpers. Dark eyes gazing up at him, fierce, Adam’s apple bobbing and another noise escaping him.

Or Satoru’s sitting rather innocently in Suguru’s lap, at a certain angle, but the sounds he’s making are less than innocent. Vile, even. Suguru’s broad hand wrapped around Satoru’s cock, pumping up and down, Satoru’s body shifting as you can tell he’s grinding down against something below.

And sometimes it’s really just the noises. You’ve heard them so often now it feels like you can put expressions to every moan and grunt and whimper and whine. Satoru makes a certain sort of gasp and your imagination jumps to think of how deep Suguru must be inside him, how his face must

They come back sometimes, from parties, drunk together. Leaning on one another like they could never lean on you – you’re not tall, not built like either of them are. Cheeks flushed as they whisper words into one another’s ears, Satoru giggling, kissing his cheek, Suguru laughing and squeezing his waist as they stumble into their room.

Like they’re in their own little world that you could never intrude on. You just catch glimpses every now and then. They don’t even look at you, it’s like you’re not even there – their eyes are locked on one another.

But that isn’t the worst of it.

Satoru and Suguru start bringing other people in.

No - they start bringing other girls into it. Like it's a punishment for catching them, only, you're fairly certain they wanted to be caught.

Satoru’s never been shy when he had a girl over, about walking around shirtless – maybe it’s an exhibitionism thing. And you’re someone they know well, someone tolerant (pathetic) enough to not say anything.

Either that or they’re both just that good at pretending you aren’t there. But they talk to you, all the time. You eat meals together, have movie nights (if you ignore how Satoru will not-so-discreetly put his hand on the inside of Suguru’s thigh while you’re all sitting together), grocery shop together, smile and laugh and share things about your day.

It’s just that they’re also dating each other. And in love, so in love, it’s painfully obvious that there’s no room for anyone else between them. Which makes the girls they bring over turn your stomach even more.

Sure, they’re one night stands. But they don’t even try to keep it quiet. You hear unfamiliar, high-pitched moans and whimpers, a wet smacking sound that has to be Satoru overdramatically eating pussy.

You wonder what his face looks like. What his eyes look like. Is he staring up at her when she does it? Does she have a hand in the feather-down softness of his hair? Or maybe Suguru’s hand, shoving him forward, that sly smirk that creeps over his lips when you’ve seen his eyes grow dark with want.

Is she whimpering because she’s close? Do they tease her, edging her, enjoying the expressions on her face, the way her body trembles? When she begs, is it for them to stop, or keep going? Whose dick is it inside her? Satoru’s, Suguru’s? What does it feel like? Satoru’s stupid enough to do it without a condom but Suguru isn’t.

What are they doing when she cums? You hear Suguru groan (you know how his groans sound, you know how both of them sound), so he must be cumming too. What’s Satoru doing? He’s too needy to be left alone for long.

Is he watching while he jerks himself? Has Suguru forced him to sit back? Or maybe he’s down where the action is, right where Suguru’s cock is buried inside her, laving over her clit and his cock like the slut he is until they both cum all over his face.

Why can’t that be you? Why don’t they want you?

Your fists clench harder than they should be One night you stumble onto them in the middle of the living room, all at it in plain view.

Satoru is in Suguru’s lap, tall enough to tower over him. Suguru’s hand wrapped around his throat, choking him, head tilted back in bliss as his lashes flutter. There’s a woman on her knees, between their spread legs, sucking Satoru off.

And you can tell, by the way Satoru shudders, how he’s loose like putty in Suguru’s arms, that Suguru’s dick is buried deep inside him.

Satoru and Suguru don’t even try to pretend it was an accident. Some fucking roommates they are.

Suguru will smile and blush when you ask him about it, apologizing in soothing, kind tones, offering to never bring another girl home again if it bothered you – you’ve been through the goddamn song and dance so many times already.

He has this way of just. Making you feel guilty for even asking in the first place. Like you were presumptuous to say anything at all, unless it was something he wanted to hear.

It’s turned you into this. So eager to please but desperate to keep them at arm’s length. Wanting, longing, and starving for it. Watching because you quite literally can’t do anything else, sights burned into your eyes. Unable to look away. Unable to keep watching.

You don't know what they want from you.

You don’t think you want to, anymore.

Satoru and Suguru are getting impatient.

No, Suguru is getting impatient. Satoru is getting desperate. It was his idea to start going out and finding girls to bring back and fuck.

It wasn’t particularly difficult between the two of them. And promising, at first – after all, what was more likely to get you to snap than watching – hearing – the two of them give some other girl everything you’ve ever wanted on a silver platter?

But you just keep going. Gritting your teeth and bearing with it. Suguru spent a whole week dislodging your vibrator slightly from its charging port, slowly squeezing your lube bottle empty, doing everything he could to drive you to the brink.

Satoru’s starting to remark how much it’s a waste of time. He gets snippy when he’s needy, and lately, Suguru’s cock just isn’t enough for him. He has to go through your laundry, plant a camera in your bedroom on one of those few nights they stay out late enough to give you some private time.

Satoru makes him wear your clothes when Suguru fucks him, lets Suguru gag him with your panties when it’s the other way around.

They play dress-up together and watch you touch yourself at awkward angles with muddied sound quality. It’s not enough, not nearly enough.

Privately, Suguru is a little worried. Satoru’s getting weird – not that he hasn’t always been. But weirder.

He goes right into the bathroom after every time you use it. He’s always quick to reach your drinks for a “taste test” after you’ve had a sip. And Suguru knows for a fact Satoru isn’t using his own toothbrush at night.

He keeps talking about you. Looking at you. Whispering dirty suggestions in his ears, asking impatiently if you look like you’re going to snap.

Satoru is needy like that, demanding, and you’d always balanced him out while helping Suguru relax.

But there’s a distance now that wasn’t there before. The tension builds and builds, needs unmet for so long that desperation is clawing at both of them.

And that’s to say nothing of his own desires. Satoru, for all his faults, still has self-control.

Suguru passes your door every night and stops for a moment. He serves you dinner with a smile, domestic as he is, and thinks how easy it would be to slip something in there. To make sure you’d sleep through the night.

Would it even matter if you didn’t? You let him get away with so much. You love him, you must love him, don’t you? There’s no other reason you would put up with all of this. If he did slip, you’d forgive him, wouldn’t you? You’d drink up all his honeyed words with the same smile you always gave him.

But if he gave you such a convenient excuse, then he would always doubt. Whether you really loved him or if he just made it convenient to love him.

More importantly, you’re looking at them different. It was good, at first; your pretty eyes darting in a different direction, the way you try to hide your face, keep your words especially cool.

 They want you to TAKE what you want. Want you yelling and screaming and scratching them up like the hellcat they know you are, deep down.

“How long,” He whines between groans as Geto works between his legs, fingering him as he sucks his cock, “Is she gonna make us wait – fuck!”

Suguru pulls away with a pop. Saliva and precum dripping from his lips. Satoru pulls him in for a kiss, by the hair.

“You know she’s liked me a while,” Suguru murmurs, swallowing a moan or two as he works another finger into his hole. “She’s scared of pushing me away. And now that you’re my boyfriend, she probably wouldn’t want to break us up.”

“Fuck, but imagine if she did.” Satoru bucks into him, “She wants us, I know she does.”

He’s always so needy, like a puppy. Suguru likes it, but he can admit that he wants you, too. Misses the energy you’d provide. You’re not demanding like Satoru is. Too prideful. Satoru’s shameless. But you want, oh, do you ever want, and they both do know it.

Once he’s stretched Satoru out enough, he wastes no time shoving him onto his belly, burying himself in his hole from behind – “Fuck! Suguru!”

“On it right now,” He purrs, close to Satoru’s back, reaching lazily for his cock.

Satoru doesn’t like to cum too soon anyways. He likes to cum from getting fucked, to be edged into oblivion – or he likes going hard and fast and overstimulated to no end. Not much in between, unless he was the one in charge.

“Imagine it,” He pants like a dog beneath him. He’s pretty, so pretty, and the only thing Suguru could imagine that would be better is to see your face looking up at him from underneath Satoru, “Suguru!”

He grunts, thrusting his hips harder, “Imagining. What am I imagining?” God, Satoru’s a slut and a nuisance, but it’s always been worth it to indulge him.

“Her,” Satoru breathes after a particularly hard thrust, “Trying to break us up.”

Suguru grabs his hips for better leverage. Satoru dirty talks best when he’s getting fucked hard, after all.

“Fuck, imagine if she got me drunk or something, hngh, finally followed through on those fuck-me eyes she’s always giving me, ghhgh, fuck yes like that, and. Just fucked me in our room, waiting for you to walk in on us together.”

And he can see it, picture it so well.

A drunk night with the most beautiful man alive, because that’s what Satoru is; pretty even now, beneath him, all sweat and lean body trembling as he gets utterly railed.

You’ve always had the attraction, and Satoru couldn’t handle his liquor, and all the sudden, you’d slept together.

“Would you – ah, ahHhh, would you get mad, Suguru?” His voice is teasing now, even through the groans and utterances, “Would you cry~?”

“Ha!” He half-chokes out the laugh, because Satoru clenches around him and it’s hard not to cum right away. He’s going to leave bruises from how hard he’s holding those narrow, lovely hips.

“No," Suguru grinds out, "But I’m sure you both would. She’s the type, and you’re so fucking – gah, so fucking needy. What would you want me to do? Forgive you?”

His pace slows down, and he reaches to squeeze his cock in return, just for a taste.

“Nah – fuck! Yes, keep doing that, fuck.” Satoru bucks into his touch, always, always chasing after him, “She’s too fucking nice all the time. If she did it, it would be – hnng – like. A revenge thing. She should be fucking mad already, pissed off. She should make me cum inside her, say she’s pregnant. Make me dump you and marry her, so if she can’t have you, nobody can.”

Suguru barks out a laugh at the concept, and then a moan, choked off as he feels the heat shooting through him at the idea.

You’re too nice, like Satoru says, it’s a laughable concept, you acting like this –

But what had he seen in your eyes that day after you caught them both with that girl?

“Fuck, I swear I feel you twitching inside me – ”

“What would you do, then?” Suguru purrs hotly into his ear, “You want to win her heart while you’re married?”

“Well, we’d fuck all the time,” Satoru wheezes out a giggle, trembling as Suguru’s hand slides along his cock, “Fuck you – haaaahhh. But I’d be making nice with her, being a good husband, and then you could come and have an affair – ”

Fuck, fuck, that’s too much, “Close,” He grunts, driving himself deep and hard, chasing the edge, “Fuck, I could tell her I love her, blackmail her, even – threaten to tell you.”

A groan as Satoru gets closer, and Suguru continues, “I could fuck her, leave her coming home to you full of my cum – ”

“I’d eat it out of her,” Satoru laughs, near deranged as he jerks between fucking back into Suguru and rutting into his hand, “Jerk me off already – ah, fuck, what if you got her pregnant – ”

White-hot, like the idea of your face beneath him, both of them, accepting them with an open heart full of rage and bitterness and lust, Suguru cums.

He’s just aware enough to fist Satoru’s cock, sliding harshly along it until he hears the lovely whore beneath him gasping, twitching, spilling in his hand.

“Fuck, fuck, fuuuuuck,” Satoru whimpers. “Hnghh… god, just the idea of her coming home from the hospital with a black-haired baby.”

“Fuck you,” Suguru barks, because now he wants to cum inside you. He wants, so, so fucking bad to cum inside you.

But god, do you even want them?

You sit there, all day, looking away, running away. That’s not love, is it?

And he’s a romantic, at heart. Satoru is, too. They don’t want anything less than your whole heart. Your entire life, your mind, body, and soul, dedicated to them the way they are to each other. Mad with jealousy and rage and possession.

Satoru had left him with bruises, the day he found out Suguru was crushing on you. When Suguru told him, in no uncertain terms, that he’s been wanted you for over a decade now and he wasn’t leaving before he got you. Blue fury in his eyes, heart twisting in his chest.

He’d looked him in the eye, grin wild and wide. Staring down as he has him pinned. Suguru had raised his knee up between his legs to find his cock desperately hard and throbbing.

“I want to fuck her first,” had been his wicked demand. Pain and pleasure traded like currency in return for love, each of them furious at the other for wanting you. They reaped the cost of their love on each other, settled their scores deep in their souls.

Because even if Suguru had seen you first, could he really say he’d wanted you first? Did he really want to fuck you before Satoru moved in, before he saw you flustered from your attraction and playfully trading banter with Satoru?

Had he wanted Satoru because you wanted Satoru? Had Satoru wanted him because he could see that you did?

Lines cross and uncross between you and the two of them, too tangled to ever unravel.

Time to tighten the knot.

[specialgradefckr]

I'm curious about your last fic, if reader asked Suguru to break up with Satoru and never talk to him again, would he do it?. My other question is how would they react if reader just moved out one day without telling them anything?

(the fic in question: yandere!satosugu/reader)

hehehe what a fun question! i don't have any super concrete plans right now but asks like this really get me thinking!

would suguru dump satoru and go no contact?

nope. suguru is a MASTER manipulator. he would never let his relationship with you get to that point.

he would, in fact, send satoru to straight-up seduce you if he thought you were ready to make such a demand.

in the fic, you're crushing on suguru but you're still deeply attracted to satoru.

other than that, suguru and satoru would definitely find it hot if you tried to drive a wedge between them or limit their time together. they're both enchanted that you're so jealous, but i think satoru would also really like the "forbidden love" angle.

he's having secret little rendez-vous with suguru, who's trying to manage your feelings so he pushes him away and that absolutely tickles satoru. he might get a cnc kink out of it.

or just dubcon suguru outright, the way a man in a mutual relationship might dubcon a fully willing victorian lady who feels great social pressure to put on an air of reluctance.

they'll spend some time cozying up to you. mostly satoru, if you've come to want to push him away so much. you should remember you like him, too!

what if you just rage quit?

stalking time! but also once again, i think suguru is very in tune with your emotional state, and he'd likely take some kind of action before it got to that point.

you'd also have to be VERY quick. maybe arrange it at a time when they're both out.

suguru would find you almost instantly, and absolutely turn on the waterworks... pressure your many mutual friends and family (childhood friend, remember?)...

asking what he did wrong in so many mournful tones. why didn't you say something if it was so bad, just acting completely innocent when you call him out on his manipulative behavior.

gaslight gatekeep girlboss. you go suguru.

satoru's taking a more practical approach though. he shows up at your house, (skimpy) clothes disheveled, covered in bruises and scrapes, lip bleeding, tears in his eyes.

he'd spin some story about he and suguru had a fight/broke up and he went out, got drunk, got in a fight at a bar and now he can't go back to suguru looking like this, please...

he's in some kind of super slutty outfit too. crop tops, boob windows, shorts short enough for you to ride his thigh in.

and yeah he'll basically do whatever he can to get you to sleep with him. act all pitiful and pathetic. literally anything to get you tangled up back in their relationship again. he'd be sooooo smug about it to suguru, too XD

[specialgradefckr]

Hiiii, I’m liking the stalking idea and satoru gaslighting the reader into sleeping with him out of pity and yearning then ending up pregnant. Suguru would find out and manipulate then gaslight reader into coming back because he still wants to be with satoru, but satoru has reader and the baby now so it’s like a package deal kind of thing. But on the low they’re both giggling cause now she’s stuck with them cause of the baby. Idk if this makes sense, but I tried 😭😭😭

no no it makes sense ,i get u,,, this is in reference to ANOTHER ask i answered a while ago: https://www.tumblr.com/specialgradefckr/769289621280636928/im-curious-about-your-last-fic-if-reader-asked?source=share

you have the vibes though. they are giggling. baby trapping is absolutely on the table, these freaks do not think for one single second "gosh maybe we shouldn't bring a child into this" dksjhglhdfg they're so awful.

in the first place, they'd do everything in their power to prevent you from leaving to begin with. sabotaging your move-out plans, guilting you into staying longer, hell, even trying to convince you to come on a "vacation" to one of satoru's secluded villas and then "run out of gas" so you're "stuck" there,,, that's all more likely than you just moving out.

i do think that if satoru comes to manipulate you, it's actually a concerted effort on the part of him and suguru. they are a team and they are playing this together.

but baby trapping is definitely on the table. suguru would even tell satoru to do it, and tell him when to approach you because he knows exactly what point of your cycle you are on <3

he gives satoru tips on how to win your pity and affection (although they're like. 40% wasted on satoru bc of his personality) but it's definitely going to be enough. especially if satoru looks beaten up enough.

it's not like suguru has to get you back in order to get satoru back. getting you back for both of them was the plan from the beginning.

if anything, suguru would plan for satoru to go "missing" and leave you alone during your vulnerable time, pregnant and stressed out, only for him to step in and demonstrate what a doting and caring partner and potential parent he would be.

by the time satoru is back in the picture (and he is an impatient little shit), suguru has absolutely convinced you that you need him if you're going to parent successfully. satoru isn't going to be there on his own. but satoru's the father, so you can't just push him out, either...

how conveniently this all lines up into you three being together. they're still not satisfied, though, not convinced you've truly fallen for them the way they've fallen for you, so you are unfortunately destined for more yandere antics in the future, but hey! two husbands :)

[specialgradefckr]

How would stsg react if reader started a fwb relationship with Toji or Sukuna? It would be funny if they realized how Suguru and Satoru felt about reader and did things to push her away from them, just for fun.

In Toji's case I think he would just start spending a lot of time with reader, he would fuck her in her room knowing that stsg are listening, and if things between them get more serious maybe he would use Megumi to manipulate her. Sukuna, for his part, would hire reader as his secretary and take her on business trips with him. At first, it would only be a few trips, but then reader would spend months with Sukuna on his "business trips."

okay so while toji does have HUUUUGE FWB vibes, and i really do love the canon undertone to a toji-satosugu rivalry... i don't think toji's an emotional enough character to even come close to eclipsing satosugu's freak.

which wouldn't be necessary normally but for this particular fic the appeal is the freakiness. the nonstop emotional roller coaster. toji's just not bringing enough spice to the party. involving megumi as a kiddo would just not fit the vibe of the series, but i absolutely stan toji as a scumbag who WOULD use megumi to manipulate women's feelings skjhfglhsdfg.

sukuna though... sukuna... first of all i will correct you. unless it's a mafia au (which i'm not very into) i wouldn't put sukuna as a businessman... he just doesn't have the patience for it. that man is a cook, 100%. his powers are cooking themed in the OG japanese sdfhglkdhfg.

which adds an additional element: instead of eating suguru's home cooking, you have carefully prepared bento boxes from the king of curses (he still won't tell you how he got that nickname).

instead of staring at shirtless satoru you are staring at the surprisingly tasteful thirst pics sukuna sends you (uruame is helping him take them).

and yes... much like with toji... if you even so much as offhandedly complain about the satosugu pda, sukuna will instantly invite himself over, and fuck you in front of them just to assert dominance.

he is literally ready to start a fight, he doesn't care. man loves knives and is built like an absolute fucking UNIT.

satoru matched with him on tinder once years ago. he will not talk about it to this day.

i also think sukuna has that feral energy that stsg are bringing to the table. he is just batshit crazy enough to talk about knocking you up and leaving the baby with suguru and satoru to raise while he fucks you full of another one.

calls suguru's cooking shitty and says you swallow his down. implies he cums in your food. implies he drugs your food and fucks you while you're asleep (without protection). does literally anything and everything to piss them the fuck off.

he's not actually homophobic (he fucks men and sees nothing wrong with it) but he totally calls satoru and suguru fags and makes off-color jokes about how they had to find each other bc no woman would take them. probably couldn't even find the clit.

are any of his claims based in reality? does he mean any of his threats? who knows. satoru and suguru are going insane and that's what matters.

[specialgradefckr]

Hello, I loved reading your last fic. I'm just curious about what would happen if the reader just decided to go clubing just for hookups and an excuse not to be in the same house as geto and gojo. Ooo, what if reader brings the hookups back to their place? What would the guys think of it?

I'm very normal about your fic if you couldn't tell lol. Anyway, have a good day/night♤

awwhhh heheh i'm glad you liked it!!! it was definitely a bit of a passion project for me. i had SO MUCH FUN writing that dialogue between gojo and geto. a little spice to cut through all the yearning.

it warms my heart to see other people being Super Normal about how absolutely insane those guys are sdjkhflhdgf

the more i contemplate it, i do think gojo and geto especially would be upset if you went out, even just to find a hookup.

deeply hypocritical? yes. completely irrational? also yes. but they are delusional and that is their charm point in this context <3

if you go out to a club they're absolutely going to follow you. coincidentally end up at the same club. they're both bi and they are not REMOTELY above seducing anyone who approaches you, which is an especially tragic and sexy and fucked up concept i like.

you find a cute boy there? satoru is going to try his luck first, and then suguru. they're just hanging out, you know. they love spending time with you, and they happened to run across your little ~crush~

you can ask them to back off but suguru's such a smooth psychological criminal.

do you really want this dude who'd rather fuck satoru or suguru? are you really going to be happy sleeping with him, knowing what he really wanted was satoru's dick? what if he sneaks out of the room after he fucks you to try and fuck satoru or suguru? how would you feel then? they're just looking out for you.

would definitely pull the same thing on your hookups. they would also absolutely fuck directly in front of you to make things awkward. moan loud enough to drown things out and hopefully turn your hookup off.

if that doesn't work? satoru or suguru is going to sneak in and seduce them in the morning. they're not above roofies/noncon or even pretending that your "hookup" assaulted one of them if your chosen partner isn't attracted to men.

they are. MONSTERS. DISGUSTING. VILE. AWFUL PEOPLE. they will do anything to keep you in this hell until you go just as crazy as they are <3

[specialgradefckr]

omg your new satosugu fic is sooooo good it’s breaks my heart in such a beautiful way you wrote it so well I couldn’t help but wanna be petty and get them back. Like reader is obviously oblivious to their feelings so I wonder what would happen if they suddenly went to a therapist because they just couldn’t take all the hurt and confusion they’re going through and they just feel so pathetic for liking the satosugu couple and then through therapy they get better and instead of moving out like that last ask you answered what if they’re just gone more often not wanting to interrupt Gojo and Geto’s fun time and eventually finds a guy who’s a walking green flag and one day when they invite him over they feel super bad and embarrassed because gojo and geto are in the middle of a session in their room but readers date being the green flag he is changes the subject by offering to play video games and reader just forgets about everything and has a bunch of fun with the guy. Sorry for this ramble it’s just an idea I’ve had for a while and it’d be so ironic and funny to see Gojo and geto jealous instead of reader like their plan totally backfired. Anyways love your work I send you all my love and support ❤️❤️❤️❤️

see i love you SO MUCH and it's incredibly encouraging to hear other people See The Vision,, The Beauty,,, just how good the yearning and desire hurts,,

however this is NOT the place for therapy. beat your heart to death is a fic about crazy people driving each other even more crazy. NO GREEN FLAGS NO HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ALLOWED!

this dress code is enforced by suguru and satoru. let me tell you. although they would be very pleased that you want to get them back, they are not about to let you live your life peacefully.

if satoru has to bankrupt your therapist, so be it. if they have to break in, read your therapists' notes, and use that knowledge in pointed conversations about what you're doing with your life, are you really being a good friend to them, are you a good person at all... so be it.

whatever green flag you find is getting stained red, one way or another. like i mentioned in another answered ask, satoru and suguru will lie, cheat, steal, kill, fuck, noncon, incriminate... pretty much whatever fucked up thing you can think of, to keep someone else out of your life.

the only way to stop them would be to find an equally red flag like toji or sukuna sjdhfghgfdg but that doesn't end with you being in a happy relationship.

i do feel you though on the energy of like... "the best revenge is living well". and that would work, but only if you were capable of living well without them - i just don't think they'd allow it.

but if you found a legitimate scumbag.... someone like naoya with zenin connections who they couldn't fuck with as easily - and you married him JUST to get back at the two of them, that could really fuck them up.

and naoya is shit. of course he's shit. you fucking hate him. maybe you don't even let him fuck you. but you let him hurt you. let him yell at you. treat you like shit.

and how is suguru supposed to watch that? how is satoru supposed to overhear you talk about how naoya doesn't think women can (should?) cum during sex. how he makes you "put out", how he's hoping you'll get pregnant as soon as possible, even though you're afraid.

you can't live well without them, but you could live miserably. and that would torment them in a way your happiness never could.

sure it would drive them insane to see you happy with someone else - so insane they'd be sure to ruin it.

but to see you miserable with someone else... you don't have any happiness for them to ruin. you're already in hell. and you'd choose that over them?

that would shake them to the core. and they love you. for all their faults. they don't want you to suffer, at least not unless it's for the sake of love. they don't want you to hurt in any way they can't fix. the end goal is always for you to end up together, obsessed with one another, like you should be.

[specialgradefckr]

ohhhh gojo using reading toothbrush is nasty....

do it again

*whispers lowly* he could be... even NASTIER... what if i told you this wasn't even 50% of satoru's full depravity -

sfghlsdhsdg god. the conversations i have with my friend about that man and piss. i'm not even into piss, and somehow you could be excused for thinking that's the case because i did actually write a pretty good piece for it skjhfglsdhghg. wild.

but yeah. satoru believes in indirect kisses and he wants to indirect french you. with tongue. with teeth. disgusting, vile, gorgeous freak of a man.

[specialgradefckr]

oh my god…part two to beating ur heart to death PLEASE

it's definitely planned! i just have to settle on an idea. the way it works is i sit around avoiding writing all day while i'm at the computer, and then when i'm out grocery shopping i get some Truly Bespoke idea about gojo and geto jerking each other off at the thought of you baby trapping one of them.

it is an unreliable and time-consuming process but it brings about the best results shjdflghsdg

the reason the fic ends where it does is because i wanted to... you know. actually finish it and have something posted. i wrote a lot of it several months ago, and i realized if i waited even longer the idea could feel stale, and i might not ever get anything out.

in seriousness, i do spend time thinking about it, and also consuming other dark fics to. stimulate the psycho neurons idk sdfkhsldfghd XD

[specialgradefckr]

Guys guys guys GUYS

Would you hate me if I posted a crack follow up/spin off to BYHTD... be honest... I want to do it anyways asdfghjkl it's such a wacky funny idea.

It would be a hilarious crack fic spin off thing. The actual sequel/accompaniment is a ways off still but I'm really happy anyways because I've been writing a lot hehe

[specialgradefckr]

Hello, I love you work, it makes me wanna take a deep dive into how you develop your characters and you writing process. I also wanted to ask What would happen if reader were to get pregnant by a hookup and satoru and suguru found out?

thank you, i'm glad you enjoy! honestly i go back and forth on if my characterization really feels right sometimes so it makes me happy to hear that <3

unfortunately like. guys you all know this story is DARK. satoru and suguru would probably go to any lengths to get rid of the pregnancy. including drugging you without your knowing.

its funny because i would NOT put it past them to sabotage your birth control in an attempt to baby trap you. so like they find out you're pregnant and suguru is like "oh satoru you DOG so you DID get into her pants" and satoru is like "?? i thought you finally fucked her"

and they're both like... well... if it wasn't YOU... sdghflshdfg

[specialgradefckr]

It would be rlly depressing if one day reader just goes ‘yknow what I don’t think I can do this anymore’ and just ends themselves and Gojo and geto just wonder ‘what did we do wrong????’

okay so i know this comes up a lot with people reading yandere fics. and i will tell you. i love u. i love all my anons. i love everyone who takes the time to ramble me in my inbox bc they're interested in something i wrote.

however. you and i, we are not the same. i'm just built different and so is the reader in my fics. that's some cowardly ass shit right there. reader is not imprisoned (yet) or being drugged or financially abused or anything.

you dont have to sit there and take it. put hot sauce in their lube. start yelling advice while you watch them fuck. put on porn and turn the volume up when they're with a girl next door.

like. it IS very rare for reader to have agency in yandere fics - and a lot of yandere fics are about the reader not having agency. but particularly for something with multiple parts, and particularly with the message that satoru and suguru are thinking - that they want you to be as crazy for them as they are for you - this is a fic with reader agency.

this is probably also due to my propensity to like. turn things into longfics. so many ideas of mine turn into multichapter affairs - that's how i end up almost never writing any of them skdfjhgshdg.

i love a good back and forth. i love yanderes being insane and kidnapping you and doing crazy shit, but i also want to do crazy shit back to them. it feels so engaging to me, so fun, and it really is the sort of cycle that i can see going on and on forever, in new and fun ways!

[specialgradefckr]

Hey there, I love 💜 your most recent work Beat Your Heart to Death and I wanted to know if there will be a part 2 in the making 🤭

i've got a couple asks about this (to say nothing of the replies) dfhklhfgsg it's nice that people like it so much!

originally i did plan to have a further portion where the reader... "snaps" you could say >.> but i actually haven't settled on how i want the reader to snap and what i want them to do.

some anons in my askbox have asked some very interesting things though! it might take a while but i am also committed to posting at least once a week. hopefully i'll find the inspiration for it soon!

[specialgradefckr]

I am over 18 and I am making content for people 18 and up. I will also write about dark things and kink content. You have been warned!

Pronouns are they/them. You can call me Speg!

Currently writing for JJK special grade sorcerers! If you do happen to have a request for one of those, give it a shot!

I love angst, smut, banter, and yanderes/darkfics hold a very special place in my heart <3 You will also find fluff and relatively wholesome stuff in my fics every now and then, too!

I write almost exclusively reader inserts in second person (that’s fics with “you/your” in them), with a reader insert who is AFAB.

And also porn. Like, explicit porn. Again, 18 and up. I'll do my best to tag any specific kinks or trigger warnings that apply.

I will write a LOT of different kinds of things, including some that may be triggering, so watch out for tags! NSFW is tagged #lemon. 

Masterlist

Heatwave fics

Day 1 (Sukuna/Reader)

Betas serving as royal sex concubines without fear of pregnancy.

Day 2 (Yuuta/Reader)

An Alpha finds themselves exhibiting omega traits in front of a stronger alpha.

Day 3 (Kenjaku/Reader)

An omega goes for a regular health checkup that leaves them weeping from all holes.

Day 4 (Satoru/Reader)

A beta develops the ability to smell scents and finds themselves losing their mind.

Day 5 (Satoru/Reader/Suguru)

An omega is made to regularly piss themselves to show submission to the alpha(s) around them.

Day 6 (Satoru/Reader)

Mating cycles are as violent as they are horny, intent to kill is high.

Day 7 (Toji/Reader)

Not everyone has secondary genders, but those who do are considered less than human.

Day 8 (Geto/Reader)

Omegas kept in chastity cages so their pleasure belongs only to others.

Day 9 (Yuki/Reader) - In Progress

An alpha during a rut isn’t allowed to fuck anything, being made to find their pleasure through their holes.

Day 10 (Satoru/Reader) - In Progress

An omega who is not attracted to alphas learns that they are actually attracted to other omegas.

Fics

Married men (Satoru/Reader/Suguru)

Beat Your Heart to Death (SatoSugu/Reader)

(Asks are tagged #BYHTD)

Gojo Twincest

Codependent Siblings (Satoru/Twin!Reader)

Fucking the Other Gojo (Suguru/Gojo!Reader)

[specialgradefckr]

I really love your work. I've read all of them, more than once, and you've inspired me to make my own! I really like your profile, and if I'm not mistaken, you're the only one I know with a "search keywords" feature. I also think it's very clean to look at, easy to navigate for new users. I really hate the idea of bothering you, but I'd really appreciate it if you could give tips and advice for new users like me. I'm still new to tumblr, sorry and thank you in advance.

asdflkhjldfgh that's so sweet of you to say!!! i'm really glad you love my stuff, bc looking back, i'm super proud of almost all of it. like, i think i had a lot of bangers, and it's so validating to hear that you think so, too <3

and don't worry about bothering me. i won't lie, i've been getting a BUNCH of asks, but it's so, so encouraging to have all this engagement. it really motivates me to write bc i'm like,,, look,, all these friends in my inbox who want to read my work 🥺

i hope your inspiration goes well! i haven't been great about reblogging other people's work lately, but i do actually read a lot of stuff, particularly in the gojo/yandere gojo tags.

that's my number one piece of advice btw - tag the shit out of all your stuff. tumblr tags can be forgiving or a bit stiff depending on how a person is searching for fics.

literally search for an example of the kind of fic you're writing. take a top example with a whole bunch of notes. look at the tags on it. often it'll be something like:

fandom, fandom x reader, fandom x yn, fandom x you, char, character full name, char x reader, char x you, char smut, char x reader smut

and just go. slap on all the tags. make sure you don't include anything inaccurate though! i do also know some writers, particularly yandere ones, who write fics and then tag all the applicable characters, which is a great way to show up in a log of searches.

basically the fic won't contain a character's name - if it's for a male character, the character will just be "he/him" in the story. and then in the tags (or in the body of the fic) the writer will list character who they think fits the archetype.

@yanderenightmare does these really well (they also write fics with specific characters in them), and as fate would have it, they've also given out writing on tumblr advice:

https://www.tumblr.com/yanderenightmare/762144865228357632/heya-do-you-have-any-more-writing-tips-for?source=share

on search keywords - i've always found searching on tumblr to be spotty, so those tags are kind of my attempt to have some organization.

there are other blogs that do it (tumblr's huge, there's always someone doing something) but it's not necessarily common. #lemon as a smut tag and #answered asks and #BYHTD as filtering tags are kind of things that just came up when i was thinking "how will i find this if i want to look back on it later?".

i will also mention, i am by no means some particularly great tumblr power user or anything. i just started writing my silly little fics way back in june sjkfglhsg honestly i'm surprised by some of the attention i've been getting! i figured a lot of my stuff was kinda niche!

more advice. make a masterlist pretty early on and update it like... every few weeks or so. try to make a schedule to post and keep to it - for this blog i try to post a fic/content every wednesday, although i'm thinking about doing twice a week or an odd middle update every now and then.

do not be scared of other tumblrs. make friends. reblog their stuff! people really like it when you do that! if you see a fic you like, reblog it, and leave a comment in the tags or the reblog, even if it's just "my favorite part was X". they may never interact with you (such is the nature of online socialization), but you gotta be the change you wish to see in the world.

writer friends are a super valuable resource. they can help you come up with ideas, cheer you on, workshop stuff with you, and just generally make you feel good about writing when your juice is failing you.

i know MANY writers who go through periods of just thinking they're bad writers and all their work is bad, etc. it's a struggle and having other writers to tell you "i don't think it's bad" does a LOT.

in any case, from one writer to another writer (hopeful), good luck!

[specialgradefckr]

....guys would you forgive me if i made the crack fic the actual sequel. i promise there would be like. meaning and stuff. it would still be unthinkably funny but like i swear i think i can do it -

Guys guys guys GUYS

Would you hate me if I posted a crack follow up/spin off to BYHTD... be honest... I want to do it anyways asdfghjkl it's such a wacky funny idea.

It would be a hilarious crack fic spin off thing. The actual sequel/accompaniment is a ways off still but I'm really happy anyways because I've been writing a lot hehe