#fariha róisín

[feral-ballad]

I thought I had been surviving, and yet, what I was really doing was hanging by a string, loosely holding myself from collapsing. I was always on the verge, and I could feel that friction in my soul.

Fariha Róisín, from Who Is Wellness For?: An Examination of Wellness Culture and Who It Leaves Behind

[deviika]

Fariha Róisín // Franz Kafka

[funeral]

Fariha Róisín, "ammu, after the smoke"

[cataclysmictide]

Can You Help Me Find Her? I'm Not Sure Where She's Gone.

Chloe of Sam or Sophia or Marcus - Taylor Swift/Unknown/Unknown/The Memory of Memory - Katie Maria/Sarah - Alex G/Half Return - Adrianne Lenker/Unknown/Unknown/Unknown/Half Return - Adrianne Lenker/The Milk Train Doesn't Stop Here Anymore - Tennessee Williams/@nobodysflower/Unknown/Funeral - Pheobe Bridgers/@calamitoustide/Sarah - Alex G/How to Cure a Ghost - Fariha Róisín/Linger - The Cranberries/Scott Street - Pheobe Bridgers/Unknown/Unknown/And the Mountains Echoed - Khaled Hosseini

[guulabii]

who is wellness for? by fariha róisín

[sinligh]

I’m my mother’s favorite child; I’m full of sacrifices.

Hers and mine, and so many women before us Substituting security and affection with systematized delusions.

I'm falling down the rabbit hole, not because of curiosity, nor distraction. But because of something akin to reality call.

All the rage that belonged to my ancestors before me, spilt ink that I spend my days crying over

And i wonder if I’m the one dragging it along with me, or is it the emotion that keeps weighing me down.

I was raised to be paranoid mother said that will protect me when she’s not around..

Now, I’m just my mother’s child and I only know how to define versions of myself through her.

Always free, never enough.

A mother lullaby can blend into her child's bones, my mother used to lull me to sleep by humming

"I love you madly, enough to embrace you in my eyes and see the world through you as I cover you with my eyelids"

I’m my mother’s daughter, a wound that refuses to heal.

I poke at it every time I question how can i convince someone who spends days and nights writing and rewriting my future that i grew up to be blind to all that is prewritten ?

That l'm building a pathway for a little life In the shadows of dreams that are out of my reach

That silk sutures hold my organs in place and lies dressed in white sew me dreams that my brain didn't dare to conjure.

That i learned to dilute the amount of love I have for everyone in my life. I don't understand the whys and hows of it but I know that I'm at the stage of life where I don't love without guarding myself.

And I refuse to be punished for feeling anymore, even if it meant I'II only ever know rage.

Meaningless and absolute.

I lose my details as i go. Leaving tracks of my soul behind me.

I shed pieces that i don't know how to define, like a snake does its skin. The only difference is that a lot of my potential lay there underneath it.

I think i overlooked discipline in my journey to search for wildness and inspiration,

and it seems like the only consistent in my life is my desire to change.

I know empathy the way I know my father. Should be present; but isn't. And I'll never be my mother, doesn't matter how much of herself she sees in me.

•••

•Quotes:Elana Dykewomon/ Chelsea g. summers/Azra.T/Robert Goolrick/hayan charara/Hannah Green/Sylvia Plath/ Fariha Róisín

•original context: Sinligh

•Art reference:

1. Winged Goddesses. Psyche II - Nudes & Butterflies By Carsten Witte. 2.Winged Goddesses. Psyche Il - Nudes & Butterflies By Carsten Witte. 3.Winged Goddesses. Psyche Il - Nudes & Butterflies By Carsten Witte. 4. 2. Metamorphosis 2 by Giovanni Gestel. 5. My Crisis are Blessing by Andrea Galad. 6. Papillon |I" or "Woman in Wings", by Louis Icart. 7.Art by Will Kim. 8. Art by James Jean.

[petrichor-moss-and-lightning]

Mitski, "Class of 2013" // Annie Ernaux, I Remain in Darkness // Everything Everywhere All At Once // unknown // Fariha Róisín, How to Cure a Ghost // Salma Deera, Letters from Medea // Tumblr user @komonatin

[lillyli-74]

Sometimes I forget how I got here.

Sometimes I forget how much I didn’t want to survive.

~Fariha Róisin

[mesutbahtiyarolacak]

“Hayatta kaldığımı sanıyordum ve gerçekten yaptığım tek şey bir ipe tutunarak, kendimi bir bataklığa çökmekten gevşek bir şekilde tutmaya çalışmaktı. Her zaman batmanın eşiğindeydim ve bu mücadeleyi ruhumda hissedebiliyordum.

[readingsquotes]

A few weeks ago, Mondoweiss (the Israeli newspaper!) reported that the IOF killed Israeli civilians and military personnel on and after October 7th. The Israeli hostages are another perfect example of people who are willing to call Netanyahu out and have even asked for what most Palestinians have been asking for as well: free Palestinian land, free all political prisoners, permanent ceasefire and end the occupation now. Yet, all we are ever told, or hear from Isaac Herzog or whatever puppet wants to be the genocidal mouthpiece for the Israeli government, is that the Palestinians always break their promises, while the Israelis speak of peace talks and build new settlements. I am thinking of the infamous Ghassan Kanafani quote: “You don’t exactly mean “peace talks,” you mean capitulation, surrendering.” We have always been told that the Palestinians resort to violence… but as Kanafani also said once, in the same interview, “People usually fight for something.” Through all the lies the Israeli government has been propagating, for decades now, while completely evading international law or critique, this is the story we’ve been told again and again: that Palestinians bring it on themselves. That they’re so violent, uncivilized savages who can’t even work toward peace! They can’t even stop fighting! This is while the IOF destroys hospital after school after hospital after school after hospital after refugee camp, again. They release prisoners, many of whom were literal children and teenagers (or what The Guardian calls them, “people under 18”) while they take even more children as prisoners in the West Bank. Interestingly enough, Human Rights Watch published this in August, so months before October 7th, that there was an uptick of arrests among children in the West Bank. According to Defense for Children of Palestine, “Each year approximately 500-700 Palestinian children, some as young as 12 years old, are detained and prosecuted in the Israeli military court system. The most common charge is stone throwing.” It’s interesting how Israel always disputes these numbers, especially anything that comes out of Palestine. If all of this sounds familiar, it’s because the IOF has strong ties to police departments in America. This Times of Israel piece about the ADL funding such trips is a great start! Much like how primarily Black (and Latinx) communities are targeted in America, with higher arrest rates for petty crimes, like drug or marijuana use or possession, all of these discretionary measures we are told are “law.” We also know that this is a way you keep a community small, you criminalize them, and you keep their necks under a very large and powerful shoe, justifying it by saying the people you oppress and repress are savages.

On Making Art During Genocide how are you doing? Fariha Róisín Dec 2, 2023

[misserinmarie]

I see God in everything. In nature, in love, and in loss. The writing that came forward for this book … was all channeled in service to the promise I made to God. This is the purpose I’m trying to fulfill during my short time on this earth.

Fariha Róisín

[feral-ballad]

Fariha Róisín, from Who Is Wellness For?: An Examination of Wellness Culture and Who It Leaves Behind

[Text ID: “I never fought back, I learned how to cry silently, I bore my sins.”]

[soundlessl-y]

[ID: sometimes i forget how i got here. / sometimes i forget how much i didn't want to survive. /end ID]

Fariha Róisín, How to Cure a Ghost

[funeral]

and told you i’d miss you so much / on my return // that my body would ache / in the absence of you // an S-shaped lacuna. / it was a foretelling // of this love, that we share / the intensity of y(our) memories // but also a knowing / of what we have, split screen. // the spiraling sensation / you give me, resplendently. // that i am so alive with you / so risen, my skin etched like braille, with // stars that read / our history, in astonishing color. // i do not know / what lies in the lilting / blue windows of our abstract future // but i revere you with a meticulous longing, // with an open, radiating / heart, i’ve let you in.”

Fariha Róisín, "responsibility is not a burden", How to Cure a Ghost

[protectyouropacities]

“sometimes I’m so lonely i want to disappear, into the abyss that haunts my mother, but I don’t— i hope for love.”

— Fariha Róisín, How to Cure a Ghost

[sinligh]

As the year is ending,

The residual of all the life I’ve forbidden myself out of habit

is barely drawing a new beginning line

So where do i start ? today ?

By the time I woke up today i was already late, not in the sense that i had somewhere to be. No, but the urge to up and leave was almost hysterical

The only thing contradicting it

Was the hesitancy I chained my feet to before I went to sleep last night.

One foot in December, the other in January.

I thought i could still put an effort in trying, but then i started counting all the steps that i took away from reality

I’m so full of life that i don’t know how to put any of it to use; bits and pieces are falling behind because i have my hands so full of myself.

I rationalize the amount of love i absorb into my body, but.. it’s never wasted on me.

If it’s too much for me today, I’ll save it in, store it in a dark corner in my brain that resembles a personal pandora box

my prefrontal cortex

and when everything gets overwhelmingly dark I’ll open it then, let all the leftover love roam my world, and if it ruins me then so be it and if it fixes me…

Well, i don’t see it.

I strive for depth but the more i dig the deeper I’m buried

Naïve enough to expect that someone on the surface will surely notice, and walk back on my steps.

But it’s nothing to worry about now, is it ?

I’m young and I’m invincible and I’m on top of the world

I’m hesitant and I’m rotten. and I can’t stop thinking about throwing myself into this world

The way i was thrown in a pool as a child, expecting that contact will trigger an instinctive response and I’ll swim.. I’ll live.

So.. if I start spinning around myself in my kitchen like a dervish would do in sufi whirling..

it’s only because I’m overflowing with all that I want to be.. but i can’t.

•••

•Quotes: Nelly Sachs, tr. by Eric Plattner/ Anne Sexton/ Fariha Róisín/ Sylvia Plath/ Mayclair/ Taylor Swift

•Original context: Sinligh

•Art reference:

1. Mother and Children by William-Adolphe Bouguereau (Details) 2. Jean-Augustin Franquelin (detail). 3. Ettore Tito - Con la rosa tra le labbra. 4. Louis Janmot, Fleur des champs (details) 5. Art by Salvatore Postiglione (detail)