#fariha róisín

[feral-ballad]

I thought I had been surviving, and yet, what I was really doing was hanging by a string, loosely holding myself from collapsing. I was always on the verge, and I could feel that friction in my soul.

Fariha Róisín, from Who Is Wellness For?: An Examination of Wellness Culture and Who It Leaves Behind

[deviika]

Fariha Róisín // Franz Kafka

[funeral]

Fariha Róisín, "ammu, after the smoke"

[cataclysmictide]

Can You Help Me Find Her? I'm Not Sure Where She's Gone.

Chloe of Sam or Sophia or Marcus - Taylor Swift/Unknown/Unknown/The Memory of Memory - Katie Maria/Sarah - Alex G/Half Return - Adrianne Lenker/Unknown/Unknown/Unknown/Half Return - Adrianne Lenker/The Milk Train Doesn't Stop Here Anymore - Tennessee Williams/@nobodysflower/Unknown/Funeral - Pheobe Bridgers/@calamitoustide/Sarah - Alex G/How to Cure a Ghost - Fariha Róisín/Linger - The Cranberries/Scott Street - Pheobe Bridgers/Unknown/Unknown/And the Mountains Echoed - Khaled Hosseini

[guulabii]

who is wellness for? by fariha róisín

[sinligh]

As the year is ending,

The residual of all the life I’ve forbidden myself out of habit

is barely drawing a new beginning line

So where do i start ? today ?

By the time I woke up today i was already late, not in the sense that i had somewhere to be. No, but the urge to up and leave was almost hysterical

The only thing contradicting it

Was the hesitancy I chained my feet to before I went to sleep last night.

One foot in December, the other in January.

I thought i could still put an effort in trying, but then i started counting all the steps that i took away from reality

I’m so full of life that i don’t know how to put any of it to use; bits and pieces are falling behind because i have my hands so full of myself.

I rationalize the amount of love i absorb into my body, but.. it’s never wasted on me.

If it’s too much for me today, I’ll save it in, store it in a dark corner in my brain that resembles a personal pandora box

my prefrontal cortex

and when everything gets overwhelmingly dark I’ll open it then, let all the leftover love roam my world, and if it ruins me then so be it and if it fixes me…

Well, i don’t see it.

I strive for depth but the more i dig the deeper I’m buried

Naïve enough to expect that someone on the surface will surely notice, and walk back on my steps.

But it’s nothing to worry about now, is it ?

I’m young and I’m invincible and I’m on top of the world

I’m hesitant and I’m rotten. and I can’t stop thinking about throwing myself into this world

The way i was thrown in a pool as a child, expecting that contact will trigger an instinctive response and I’ll swim.. I’ll live.

So.. if I start spinning around myself in my kitchen like a dervish would do in sufi whirling..

it’s only because I’m overflowing with all that I want to be.. but i can’t.

•••

•Quotes: Nelly Sachs, tr. by Eric Plattner/ Anne Sexton/ Fariha Róisín/ Sylvia Plath/ Mayclair/ Taylor Swift

•Original context: Sinligh

•Art reference:

1. Mother and Children by William-Adolphe Bouguereau (Details) 2. Jean-Augustin Franquelin (detail). 3. Ettore Tito - Con la rosa tra le labbra. 4. Louis Janmot, Fleur des champs (details) 5. Art by Salvatore Postiglione (detail)

[mesutbahtiyarolacak]

“Hayatta kaldığımı sanıyordum ve gerçekten yaptığım tek şey bir ipe tutunarak, kendimi bir bataklığa çökmekten gevşek bir şekilde tutmaya çalışmaktı. Her zaman batmanın eşiğindeydim ve bu mücadeleyi ruhumda hissedebiliyordum.

[readingsquotes]

A few weeks ago, Mondoweiss (the Israeli newspaper!) reported that the IOF killed Israeli civilians and military personnel on and after October 7th. The Israeli hostages are another perfect example of people who are willing to call Netanyahu out and have even asked for what most Palestinians have been asking for as well: free Palestinian land, free all political prisoners, permanent ceasefire and end the occupation now. Yet, all we are ever told, or hear from Isaac Herzog or whatever puppet wants to be the genocidal mouthpiece for the Israeli government, is that the Palestinians always break their promises, while the Israelis speak of peace talks and build new settlements. I am thinking of the infamous Ghassan Kanafani quote: “You don’t exactly mean “peace talks,” you mean capitulation, surrendering.” We have always been told that the Palestinians resort to violence… but as Kanafani also said once, in the same interview, “People usually fight for something.” Through all the lies the Israeli government has been propagating, for decades now, while completely evading international law or critique, this is the story we’ve been told again and again: that Palestinians bring it on themselves. That they’re so violent, uncivilized savages who can’t even work toward peace! They can’t even stop fighting! This is while the IOF destroys hospital after school after hospital after school after hospital after refugee camp, again. They release prisoners, many of whom were literal children and teenagers (or what The Guardian calls them, “people under 18”) while they take even more children as prisoners in the West Bank. Interestingly enough, Human Rights Watch published this in August, so months before October 7th, that there was an uptick of arrests among children in the West Bank. According to Defense for Children of Palestine, “Each year approximately 500-700 Palestinian children, some as young as 12 years old, are detained and prosecuted in the Israeli military court system. The most common charge is stone throwing.” It’s interesting how Israel always disputes these numbers, especially anything that comes out of Palestine. If all of this sounds familiar, it’s because the IOF has strong ties to police departments in America. This Times of Israel piece about the ADL funding such trips is a great start! Much like how primarily Black (and Latinx) communities are targeted in America, with higher arrest rates for petty crimes, like drug or marijuana use or possession, all of these discretionary measures we are told are “law.” We also know that this is a way you keep a community small, you criminalize them, and you keep their necks under a very large and powerful shoe, justifying it by saying the people you oppress and repress are savages.

On Making Art During Genocide how are you doing? Fariha Róisín Dec 2, 2023

[soundlessl-y]

[ID: sometimes i forget how i got here. / sometimes i forget how much i didn't want to survive. /end ID]

Fariha Róisín, How to Cure a Ghost

[feral-ballad]

Fariha Róisín, from Who Is Wellness For?: An Examination of Wellness Culture and Who It Leaves Behind

[Text ID: “I never fought back, I learned how to cry silently, I bore my sins.”]

[soleilinfini]

fariha róisín, reminder for self

[funeral]

and told you i’d miss you so much / on my return // that my body would ache / in the absence of you // an S-shaped lacuna. / it was a foretelling // of this love, that we share / the intensity of y(our) memories // but also a knowing / of what we have, split screen. // the spiraling sensation / you give me, resplendently. // that i am so alive with you / so risen, my skin etched like braille, with // stars that read / our history, in astonishing color. // i do not know / what lies in the lilting / blue windows of our abstract future // but i revere you with a meticulous longing, // with an open, radiating / heart, i’ve let you in.”

Fariha Róisín, "responsibility is not a burden", How to Cure a Ghost

[cataclysmictide]

Pain's Like Cold Water Your Brain Just Gets Used To It

No Complaints - Noah Kahan/That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham/Ask Polly: Help I'm The Loneliest Person In The World - Heather Havrilesky/Ladybird (2017)/Tennessee Williams/unknown/No Complaints - Noah Kahan/Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)/Ask Polly: Help I'm The Loneliest Person In The World - Heather Havrilesky/That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham/No Complaints - Noah Kahan/That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham/Unknown/Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)/'Ectesy' - Georges Bataille/Warsan Shire/Ladybird (2017)/How to Cure a Ghost - Fariha Róisín/That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham/No Complaints - Noah Kahan

[sinligh]

I’m my mother’s favorite child; I’m full of sacrifices.

Hers and mine, and so many women before us Substituting security and affection with systematized delusions.

I'm falling down the rabbit hole, not because of curiosity, nor distraction. But because of something akin to reality call.

All the rage that belonged to my ancestors before me, spilt ink that I spend my days crying over

And i wonder if I’m the one dragging it along with me, or is it the emotion that keeps weighing me down.

I was raised to be paranoid mother said that will protect me when she’s not around..

Now, I’m just my mother’s child and I only know how to define versions of myself through her.

Always free, never enough.

A mother lullaby can blend into her child's bones, my mother used to lull me to sleep by humming

"I love you madly, enough to embrace you in my eyes and see the world through you as I cover you with my eyelids"

I’m my mother’s daughter, a wound that refuses to heal.

I poke at it every time I question how can i convince someone who spends days and nights writing and rewriting my future that i grew up to be blind to all that is prewritten ?

That l'm building a pathway for a little life In the shadows of dreams that are out of my reach

That silk sutures hold my organs in place and lies dressed in white sew me dreams that my brain didn't dare to conjure.

That i learned to dilute the amount of love I have for everyone in my life. I don't understand the whys and hows of it but I know that I'm at the stage of life where I don't love without guarding myself.

And I refuse to be punished for feeling anymore, even if it meant I'II only ever know rage.

Meaningless and absolute.

I lose my details as i go. Leaving tracks of my soul behind me.

I shed pieces that i don't know how to define, like a snake does its skin. The only difference is that a lot of my potential lay there underneath it.

I think i overlooked discipline in my journey to search for wildness and inspiration,

and it seems like the only consistent in my life is my desire to change.

I know empathy the way I know my father. Should be present; but isn't. And I'll never be my mother, doesn't matter how much of herself she sees in me.

•••

•Quotes:Elana Dykewomon/ Chelsea g. summers/Azra.T/Robert Goolrick/hayan charara/Hannah Green/Sylvia Plath/ Fariha Róisín

•original context: Sinligh

•Art reference:

1. Winged Goddesses. Psyche II - Nudes & Butterflies By Carsten Witte. 2.Winged Goddesses. Psyche Il - Nudes & Butterflies By Carsten Witte. 3.Winged Goddesses. Psyche Il - Nudes & Butterflies By Carsten Witte. 4. 2. Metamorphosis 2 by Giovanni Gestel. 5. My Crisis are Blessing by Andrea Galad. 6. Papillon |I" or "Woman in Wings", by Louis Icart. 7.Art by Will Kim. 8. Art by James Jean.

[drusill-a]

What if one happens to be possessed of a heart that can’t be trusted? What if the heart, for its own unfathomable reasons, leads one willfully and in a cloud of unspeakable radiance away from health, domesticity, civic responsibility and strong social connections and all the blandly-held common virtues and instead straight toward a beautiful flare of ruin, self-immolation, disaster? If your deepest self is singing and coaxing you straight toward the bonfire, is it better to turn away? Stop your ears with wax? Ignore all the perverse glory your heart is screaming at you? Set yourself on the course that will lead you dutifully towards the norm, reasonable hours and regular medical check-ups, stable relationships and steady career advancement the New York Times and brunch on Sunday, all with the promise of being somehow a better person? Or… is it better to throw yourself head first and laughing into the holy rage calling your name?

june gehringer, I get so jealous of euthanized dogs / joan tierney, dear 4am / caluco, maggots / margaret atwood, [you fit into me] / cameron barnett, murmur / lindsey drager, the archive of alternative endings / @mobydyke / donna tartt, goldfinch / trista mateer, honeybee / michelle zauner, crying in h mart / sylvie baumgartel, pink / joan didion, blue nights / john irving, a prayer for owen meany / brian eno / patrick james errington, after all this small talk, you’d think there’d be no weather left / madeline miller, circe / richard siken, a primer for the small weird loves / the lumineers, ophelia / jeanette winterson, written on the body / fariha róisín, how to cure a ghost / hayley williams, watch me while I bloom / lori gottlieb, maybe you should talk to someone / margaret atwood, cat’s eye / @preschooldr0pout / natalie díaz, postcolonial love poem / donna tartt, goldfinch

[ARMAND] [CLAUDIA]

[readingsquotes]

"I didn’t know much about Suzanne Nossel, the CEO of PEN, but in the last few weeks, I have learned a lot about her. Her Wikipedia says she “is a human rights advocate, former government official, author, and CEO of PEN America.” She is also the former Executive Director of Amnesty International USA and COO at Human Rights Watch. It also says in her Wikipedia, “She has frequently visited relatives in Israel, saying “It's a place where I feel very comfortable and at home.”

I mean you can’t make this shit up.

I guess this is why this work is so hard for so many; in essence, what it requires is unlearning entitlement and privilege - it’s unlearning whiteness.

It’s so blatant, how far-reaching Zionism is and how embedded it is in the liberal imagination of the Western world. I guess then, it makes sense how many people in power have been ingratiated in Zionist ideology without ever challenging it, and how they then espouse these beliefs whilst also maintaining that they care about human rights alongside believing that occupation is important, and thus Palestinians just have to either go or die… how they don’t see the incongruence in those two ideologies, I’ll never know. How does the Upper West Side white woman feel this sadness for herself, but can’t comprehend how a Palestinian person must feel, having no other home? The logical conclusion one comes to is this: they must not think Palestinians are people. And if this is true in 2024 - for an organization that declares otherwise, where does that leave us as societies that pretend to be civil, moral, and upright? How do we accept and negotiate this blind spot? Do we also just allow people like Nossel to live within such bypass? It should be noted, her book title is named, fittingly, “Dare to Speak.”

According to former employees, she would in private refer to the “Palestine thing,” always avoiding accountable conversations about Zionism and complicity w/r/t Israel. It’s always interesting when people who write about free speech only mean it for themselves… and, maybe, sometimes, also the perfect victim they deem worthy of rights. The perfect victim that doesn’t contradict their own geopolitical goals, I mean it’s so blatant it’s depressing.

What they won’t tell you is not everyone gets free speech. Not because we can’t give it to them, but because people with power don’t want that. They don’t want everyone to speak, but they do want to tell you that they care about free speech. And that free speech (for them) is very important. They don’t see this as domination or even one sided, they demand you accept their half truths as total truth.

“At the top of our list is our defense of Israel,” Nossel writes in an email written to the State Department in 2011. This is the Western world. It’s a creation made to uplift whiteness and white structures, only. How is a human rights council supposed to prop up Israel’s defense? Call me crazy, but that sounds like the opposite of human rights? Also, do we do that for anyone else? Does any other nation on Earth get this pledge of defense… What about regions where actual genocide has also taken place in the last few decades, like Rwanda, Bosnia, Congo, Sudan… Palestine? What about those places, do they also get our defense, as well? What about the Rohingyas who were mass exterminated from Myanmar a few years ago… resulting in one of the largest refugee crises in the world… do they get this same defense? The answer to all these questions is no. No one else get this. Just Israel. "And, according to Nossel, this is a US State Department issue."