#tw loss of free will

[poeteunoia]

"grief is just love with no place to go"

(jamie anderson)

"i this hope grief stays with me because it's all the unexpressed love that i never got to tell her..."

(andrew garfield)

Credits: Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Notes on Grief / C.S Lewis: A Grief Observed / Shannon Barry quote via @academia-aesthetics / Fleabag 2016 / Jamie Anderson quote / One Day 2024 / Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Half of a Yellow Sun / Little Women 2019 / Amanda Gorman, Call Us What We Carry / WandaVision 2021 / Andrew Garfield quote / Ocean Vuong quote, source / Up 2009 / Lang Leav: September Love via @academia-aesthetics / "the grief is never ending but so is the love" monkey meme / commemorative bench plaque in Central Park, New York, photo:© Neva Micheva / Valarie Kaur, See No Stranger: A Memoir and Manifesto of Revolutionary Love / Glennon Doyle Leyton: Love warrior / Hotel Del Luna 2019 / Heidi Priebe: As Long As There Is Love, There Will Be Grief

[amiablesummer]

iv. but where did you go?

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

The Difficult Parts of Being Autistic That I Don’t Talk About Enough…

Neurodivergent_lou

[coffeexxcigarettes]

x

We want to believe that love is enough,

But it just isn't, is it?

I can feel you slipping like sand between my fingers,

Yet there is not a single fiber within you unloved by me;

Not a single unknown.

x

[azeroth]

We must do what it takes to survive We are the same, you and I, I

[llewellyn-baxter]

"Huh.."

Llewellyn's hand braced on a tree trunk and he stood with his head bowed for several moments, trying to shake off the strange sense of fogginess and light-headedness. And his stomach churned... It was the type of sensation that occurred with a sudden unexpected drop. A mist eased throughout the surrounding area and there was a certain smell that couldn't be placed- earthy, for sure, but also weirdly enough, something more pungent. Why did his limbs all feel so heavy and achy? Why was he so tired? The man couldn't really recall what he'd been doing moments before, or where he was even at...

And he certainly had no clue that a faerie portal had just shaved ten years off his life. Ten years taken away with family and friends.

At some point, the tall gentleman began to walk. He wasn't sure how long or what direction, but somehow, Llew managed to wander within the town limits. "Welcome to Greywood.." he murmured to himself with a faintly bemused expression across features newly aged a decade. There was something familiar about this place, too, but that brain fog persisted. He couldn't shake that something was off and yet, there didn't seem to be anything out of place, either. It all looked normal enough. "Excuse me," Llewellyn politely reached for a passerby to stop them, "do you have any water?" He offered an apologetic and uncertain smile. "I'm sorry, I just- I could really use some water.." Boy, could he! Felt like he hadn't had anything to drink in days.

[shitswiftiessay]

This swiftie is such a vile, vile piece of shit.

They’re trying to spread a rumor that Joe either forced Taylor to have an abortion or caused her to have a miscarriage.

What the fuck.

[coldagain]

disintegration (TW: ed, abuse, suicide)

Yesterday, you called at two a.m.,

And said you were sorry for disturbing me,

but it's been a rough day,

and you needed a friend.

I said, yes, I would listen,

but could you hear the exhaustion in my voice? The slight irritation?

I wonder.

Because the next moment, you'd changed your mind,

And asked me to rest.

Put off everything until tomorrow,

It's not that big of a deal, you'd laughed.

Last Wednesday, after school, you had asked me to stay,

broke down in the washroom, hands gripping the sink till they turned white,

You said they have been harsher lately,

That you've gone without food for a week.

I asked, why, and you didn't answer.

but could you hear the terror in my voice? The raw fear?

I wonder.

because the next moment, you were smiling in that heartbreaking way.

I'm here, I said, as I held onto you. I'm here.

I could barely speak over the lump forming in my throat.

Last month, before class, I asked why you loved all the people who could never love you back,

Why you give so much of yourself to them.

You looked startled for a while, and then said,

It's better than being lonely.

I asked if that actually was true, and you kept quiet.

but could you sense the regret in my words? The tension that followed in the silence?

I wonder.

because the next moment, you'd smiled too widely,

And told me that they were better than those pretending to care,

At least, you're prepared.

At least, you know.

Last year, after your swim meet, I asked if you were ill,

You'd grown thinner, and you'd refused your favorite burger,

You promptly said that it was nothing.

That you just didn't feel like eating anymore.

I asked, why, and you simply shrugged.

but could you hear the surprise in my voice? The shock?

I wonder.

because the next moment, you'd shoved a spoonful of salad in your mouth,

and had to rush to the washroom in the next.

I pretended not to hear you throw up as I searched the stalls,

When you came out, I said only then, “you're beautiful just the way you are.”

You smiled helplessly. “Must I be?”

Tomorrow, after your funeral, I'll ask if that was absolutely necessary.

If you're truly happy now, wherever you are.

You'd say that you are, no doubt,

I know you well enough to have learnt your lies by heart.

I'd ask if you would miss me, and you'd keep quiet.

but would you hear the pain in my voice? The remnants of regret and salty grief?

I wonder.

because the next moment, the time would be up.

They'd put you six feet under earth, and away from all that has hurt over the years.

Away from me.

Away from you.

I still love this person, present tense. please take care of yourselves.

[aropride]

okkkkk who wants to help me with my awesome #classwork. Basically we have to pick a health related research question abt media messaging around whatever health topic,and then we have to do a mini study and collect data and analyze it . for mine im thinking of doing fitness and weight loss and how advertisements vary based on whether theyre directed towards men or women but idk how to collect that kind of data? At first i was thinking making an instagram account and looking up stuff abt fitness and weight loss adn then writing down what ads i get but that doesnt guarantee i’ll get re;levant ads- then i thought of finding the sketchiest most ad ridden sites possible and writing THOSE down but that just seems like a bad idea- most recent idea is googling like, “how to lose weight men” or “how to lose weight women” and analyzing the first results but that’s not really Advertisements-which i guess it doesnt Have to be but that means changing my research question a bit. Im also not sure what my variables would be? Also i only have like . 12 days? To do it . im gonna lose my marbles. But my specifc question is Are there better ways to go about collecting data on this that im just not thinking about? other than like, rotting away on proana instagram reels or giving myself viruses

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

"yes im so fine"

*researches whether i can get my hands on ipecac*

[doralovesgames]

BlueSky has a trend going where you post 20 games that influenced you, for 20 days, with no comment or context, and I wanted to drag that over here. However, I wanted to focus specifically on indie games only. I got my start in games as a journalist in the Flash era, and there was such an incredible array of creativity and passion on display. Many of the games I played and reviewed have stuck with me well over a decade later. So I wanted to celebrate some of my favorites. So here's Day 1: The Fabulous Screech, by Jonas and Verena Kyratzes Free to download, or play in your browser on Newgrounds or Kongregate! http://landsofdream.net/games/the-fabulous-screech/

[withinkandquill-aa]

Surprise starter for @conduitandconjurer!

———

Heart thundering in her chest, accentuating the ever present ache that had settled there days before, Roxane hurries forward towards the tall, lithe figure moving through the crowded street. With a boldness that is somehow both characteristic of her and yet, simultaneously not, she reaches out, grasping the man’s thin wrist before the crowd can swallow even his unique likeness.

“Klaus? Klaus Hargreeves?” Her voice - lilting with a heavy Italian accent - wavers with hope and desperation, the two shining in pitch-dark eyes already close to tears. “I don’t mean to bother you, I’m sure your time is very important, I just…can you really see and speak to the dead?”

The young woman almost chokes on the last word, the pain of her loss so new and raw. A phantom of a weight still seems to linger on her hip where she carried her daughter.

“Please, I know you probably do not do favors for the public but…I am prepared to pay anything in return. Anything. I don’t know how yet, but I will make it work. Whatever you ask. Any price. I swear it to you. I just…”

“Please, I know you probably don’t do favors for the public but…I’m prepared to pay anything in return. Anything. I don’t know how yet, but I will make it work. I swear it to you. I just…”

The words die on her tongue, silenced by the threat of any other heartbroken cry tearing from her throat.

I need to see her.

[amiablesummer]

v. what is gone is not quite gone

[no-tengo-ojos]

TW: death, grief, loss, car crash

Going to be completely honest with you all for a minute. I have had a terrible few months in my personal life.

In early September one of my closest friends died in a car crash when he was hit by one of our other friends and as you can imagine, it affected me quite badly. The friend that survived was arrested and none of us have been able to get in contact with him. This happened two days before I started University and I didn't know all of the details of the incident but some of you have noticed that I've been more absent than usual from the blog.

I've avoided talking about it because I hate the fact that it's happened and it's taken me awhile to come to terms with the events. But I can genuinely say that without my wonderful mutuals being the nicest people alive, without even knowing what had happened, I wouldn't be in the place that I am currently.

It's been horrendous but every time I open this hellsite and see your silly posts about spikey blorbos I remember that there are people I still care for and I want to let them know how much they mean to me.

So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all existing, I wouldn't know what to do without you. And never let anybody make you think that you aren't worthy of the love and attention you deserve. xxx

-Lotte

[reecipehaveen]

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[flowerakatsuka]

it's so funny that the sextuplets die and go to hell in s2 season finale hahaha... anyways, i've been thinking a lot of how mortality is a underlying theme with kuroba's character and how they're constantly forced to think about it with the work that they do and the losses they've experienced themself.