#turns out maybe it’s not the gifted kid burnout

[blizardstar]

I may be having an Autism Realization

Like. Patterns are cool right??? Human pattern recognition is astounding and beautiful and part of what makes us unique? Shapes and Numbers and Words?

Seeing shapes and faces in the clouds and in shadows and in the bits of dirt and debris littering the world? How root woods connect and allow you to know the meanings of words you’ve never heard before? How the 9s times table goes 09 18 27 36 45 54 63 72 81 90???? How people an animals behave? The way speech and slang and dialect differs and yet can be so similar?

[towriteloveontheirarms]

Alicent has got it going on (modern!Alicent x younger!Reader)

synopsis: You go out for a night of fun with your friends, but while you are at the bar, the object of your desire is somewhere entirely else.

warnings: age gap (reader is of age), flirting, dirty talk & smut adjacent, afab reader

word count: 2.1k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall @urmomsgirlfriend1

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Even after countless years of being friends with Helaena, to a point where the two of you would call each other sisters, it still feels weird to just walk into the house that your mom had to drive you to almost every day for years when you were a kid. Times had changed. You grew up and so you could make your own way to the villa and enter through the front door with a key that Helaena had gifted you some years back when the two of you entered college.

Upon entering you hear a voice in the living room which, when further investigating, you find out to be Alicent´s. Currently arguing with someone on the phone. Once she sees you, she holds the phone away from her ear and hangs up.

“Oh, I didn´t see you there.” She greets you with a rare, genuine smile.

"Sorry. I didn't realise you were on a call. I just wanted to say hi." You greet your best friend's mother. You have always found Alicent to be absolutely stunning and so you can´t hide a small blush heating up your cheeks as you give her a small wave.

Alicent turns her full attention towards you at the sound of your voice. She knew you had grown up but hadn’t seen you in quite a while. “Hello, dear. How are you?” Her eyebrows raise, awaiting your answer, not even mentioning the call.

“I've been holding up just fine. How about you? Helaena has told me you're working a lot these days." You give the older woman a small smile in return.

"Yes, dear. It's been non-stop, but that´s business." At her words you remember that she had taken over leading the firm in her husband´s stead only a short while ago when Helaena´s father became too sick to continue to do so indefinitely.

Throughout all this time, she doesn´t take her eyes off you for a single second. Those beautiful, big, brown eyes that seemed to shimmer every time you saw her in spite of or maybe because of the stress she was put under. In the end she wasn´t that much older than you. That thought gets your cheeks to burn a little brighter.

“I hope you remember to take breaks too. The company can be glad to finally be led by someone competent, but it would be a shame to see you work yourself into a burnout or something.” You shuffle your feet on the ground, making her even more aware of your painfully awkward attraction towards her.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. I've become quite used to it. Thank you for your concerns though, dear. That is very sweet.” Alicent says confidently, her tone is filled with pride and she takes your hand to let you feel her gratitude for your expression of concern.

The second the older woman´s skin touches yours, has your brain screaming so loud that you are scared anyone would be able to hear. "You know, if you ever do want a break, you should come out to our bar or something. If you don't think going out with your daughter's friend is weird or something. You would be surprised what an evening out can bring about."

The words let not only her eyes widen and eyebrows shoot up for a second, but your own as well.

Suddenly the air in the room is noticeably thicker. You feel like you don´t get enough of it into your lungs, making your head spin like a carousel and the way the older woman’s hand squeezes yours only throws you off the rails even more.

Before you know it, her hand lets go of yours, not giving any time for disappointment to settle, as they instantly settle on your waist, with her thumbs brushing over your ribs just below the swell of your breasts. In response to her pulling you closer, your hands go to tightly hold her by the waste rubbing tight circles into the soft, by lavish silk covered flesh.

Hesitantly your faces moved closer bit by bit. It felt right to be so close to her, to feel her auburn curls brush against your cheeks and make almost a curtain to shut out the rest of the world. Your noses rub against each other from the proximity and little fireworks tingle over your lips. The moment feels so magical.

The horn of Baela´s car being pressed down continuously, to alert approximately the entire neighbourhood and the muffled screams of the young woman to go along with it pull the two of you back to reality against your will.

“I have to go…” You whisper, basking in the energy of the moment a bit longer. Wishing you could stay there with Alicent for even just one more moment. A wish that is reciprocated by her. You are hyper aware of your hands that rest against her waist to keep her perfect body close when Alicent pulls away from you. And though they have never touched to begin with, your lips chase hers for a second and a whimper leaves your lungs.

"You are perfect." You whisper breathlessly when your eyes flutter back open.

Those moments with Alicent stay in your mind's forefront the entire time you sit beside your friends in the cinema. Thinking about the almost kiss rather than paying attention to whatever movie Helaena and Baela had decided on.

The three of you head to a bar afterwards to meet up with a few more friends. Each of you getting enough drinks to ensure everyone was a good bit more than just lightly buzzed. In your inebriated state you remember you still had Alicent´s number saved from something or another a few months ago. So without thinking you reach into your purse to pull out your phone to send the woman a short message. "I can't get you out of my mind. Your hands felt like pure heaven."

Normally you would have spent the time until the device pinged with a response biting at your nails to relief the nervous energy that would course through your system, but it doesn´t happen. The earlier interaction had made you feel quite confident in the attraction being requited. At the same time, back at the Targaryen-Hightower home Alicent smirked at the message as her body began tingling anew. "I miss touching you. Your body is just so irresistible." She replied, leaning back in her chair as she waited for her phone to vibrate again. If anyone would see her right now, they would probably say she looks like a giddy schoolgirl. And you didn´t look much better. Biting your lip to keep yourself from kicking your feet at the warm giddiness that spread through your body with every answer you received from her.

"Gods, I wish I could be with you right this second so I could taste your skin and worship you just the way you deserve." One of your friends that keeps you company while the others go to get more drinks eyes you suspiciously, but luckily says nothing. Counting myself lucky in that I put my phone away and try to concentrate on the conversation at hand, but feeling it vibrate once more pulls your thoughts right back to Alicent. "And what exactly would this worship entail?" Reads the message, making your mind reel and run wild with everything you wanted to do to her.

"It would entail me kissing all over your body and feeling you all over. Tracing your skin with my tongue up your thighs to your most sensitive spot and then I would spend my time between your thighs until your throat would be sore from screaming my name." You can feel your breath become shallow already even though there was no ending to the evening in sight yet and there was no chance to leave early either, but no matter how much you told yourself to calm down it is to no use. The arousal that pools between your legs and sticks your panties to your core at the thought of the older woman won´t let up. It takes longer for another answer to roll in this time, due to Alicent willing her reddened cheeks and racing heart to calm down in order to think clearly again. Only then she finds an appropriate response to type out and send with lightly trembling fingers. “You sure know how to make me feel things, don’t you?”

Despite willing herself to calm down, Alicent's body became flushed. Her breath hitched at the vivid description, and her body became flooded with a rush of pure heat. She couldn’t believe someone could speak so filthy. Her jaw hung open with a dumb expression as she read the message over and over again.

“It´s only what you deserve. You work so hard; you deserve to feel good every once in a while.” You respond almost instantly. Barely making it in time to hide the screen again as Helaena looks over your shoulder.

“The youth and their phones….” She clicks her tongue but breaks out in a giggle not even a few seconds after. “Who has you smiling like this?”

Judging by the redness spread over all over her face she is far more affected by the alcohol than the rest of you. Then again, she always was the one worst at handling her booze. Conveniently this gave you the perfect topic change.

“Maybe you should drink some water before you get another round.” You snicker at her antics.

“I´m fine, mom.” She chanted exaggeratedly, though even the sentiment can´t ruin her mood.

So, you shrug it of and decide that keeping an eye on her would be all you can do. A smart choice, as the night soon gets cut short, by her getting a little too hyper. Leading to Baela dropping you off at the house, before getting herself back to Driftmark. Bless the seven that the Velaryon stayed sober and thus could help you to basically carry her all the way from the car to her room as to not make a major commotion and wake everyone else up. Unfortunately, it is a whole different story to get her to sleep. A seemingly impossible task throughout which you have to remind yourself how much you loved your best friend repeatedly.

Once Helaena is sound asleep naturally you are wide awake. Tossing, turning and scrolling through your phone in a now much more sober state. Then you remember the texts you had sent to Alicent earlier and with your friend fast asleep, you sneak out of her room and down the hall to Alicent's. Opening and closing the door as quietly as possible, you find the woman splayed out in her bed. Clad in a short, dark green satin nightdress and illuminated by the moonlight streaming through the window. The cool light makes her look even more gorgeous than the sunlight earlier, though you thought that wasn't possible. Her breasts rise and fall in deep, even breaths. It´s a sight for the gods. On your tiptoes you make your way over to the bed. Feeling the soft mattress dip underneath your weight, as you lean over her unsuspecting form. For a second you doubt what you are about to do, but when the Hightower woman shifts in her unconscious state to expose her neck more and her soft lips part for a sigh to escape, you´re done for.

Your own lips part and your head lowers to press a wet kiss to her neck. Then another and another as Alicent shifts and writhes beneath, before finally waking up with a gasp of your name.

“Shhh, yes it´s me.” You whisper to her to signal to stay quiet.

She blinks the sleep from her eyes with rapid movements and threads her fingers into your hair. “Don´t stop, please…”

She begs in a breathy, irresistible voice and who were you to deny her. With a brush of the fingers, you put a strand of auburn curls behind her ear, triggering a full body shiver when your nails scrape along the sensitive skin.

“I won´t. I promise.” You vow in return and seal it by sealing her lips with your in the kiss that should have happened hours ago. Followed by so much more that, if titled the best night of your life, would still be an understatement. Having her thighs tremble on the sides of your head as she tried to keep her body away from resting fully on your head, no matter how often you tried to nudge her down by the hips. Satisfied couldn´t even begin to capture the air around you as you lay beside each other, tightly entangled, bathed in the light of the rising sun and on the brink of sleep.

[sunnpii]

Haii it's @yourreality-mp3 's main blog‼️ do u have any Yuri hcs?:3😈

USHOUKD NTO HAVE ASKED ME THIS NOW I HAVE AN EXCUSE TO YAP /silly

this is jus a doodle + a few hcs to have something next 2 the doodel.........ihave many more under the cut :3c ..........

- first off . autistic. hits her withmy fucked up autism beam (shes actually so autistic coded its absurd i cluld go on all day about it but we're not heree for that🤔🤔🤔🤔maybe ill save that for another post if u guys r interested) undiagnosed specifically liek she has no idea

- was definitely a weird kid when she was younger (probably creepypasta style weird kid specifically)

- as a kid was also the type to read/watch horror stuff without a care in the world during the day and then as soon as it turns midnight shes shitting herself playing fnaf 4 irl (she probably developed more horror tolerance as she got older tho)

- constantly stays up WAY past the night and into the morning, both accidentally and not accidentally (she has insomnia liek i put in the pic so a lot of the time she cant fall asleep at a reasonable time even if she tries. shes just given up atp)

- sometimes has difficulty wording stuff in a more casual way when she speaks, which makes her sound liek way too formal when she doesnt need to be. in social situations she has to like actively run what she wants to say over in her head to figure out a more "normal" way to say it

- not TERRIBLE at drawing but its not like her number 1 hobby or anything; drew a lot in middle school but doesnt as much anymore (i think natsuki would be pretty good at drawing but we'll savee that for a natsuki hcs post)

- witch perchance guyss do we fw witch yuri

- DEF was a """"gifted kid"""" (specifically in reading) back in elementary school and then got slapped in the face with gifted kid burnout in middle-highschool .noo im not projecting haha what are u talking about what a preposterous suggestion guards take him away

- the type to have an online persona thats like a millionbillion times different than how she acts irl

- dislikes april fools day

- favorite season is fall with winter in close second, then spring, and lastly summer (she cant stand the heat)

- owns Many candles. perhaps Too Many (im not sure if this is canon or not but i think it IS canon she enjoys aromatherapy so i think itd be pretty par for the course)

- and finally........ her fav color is maroon ^.^

[sunshine-zenith]

Is Peri even a godparent anymore?!

If he still is, I can't imagine him being assigned to some random kid after everything with Dev.

Maybe he went back to dental school.

(Sorry I took so long to get to this one. I died)

You know… I’m actually really not sure. I think this is one of the biggest questions left from the end of season one, and part of why so many people are hoping for a second season — Dev and Peri’s stories are still so unresolved. We didn’t even get to see Peri’s reaction to losing Dev as a godkid, something that stands out so much because literally just a few minutes earlier, Peri confesses that he cared about Dev and tried so hard to do right by him

A headcanon of mine is that becoming a fairy godparent in the first place was a big deal for Peri — he calls it the family business, he was partially raised alongside a godkid who he adored as a baby, and he literally would not exist if it weren’t for a godkid’s wish. The fact that he turned down what was clearly a prestigious and respected position to become one must mean a lot.

(Something I think about a lot is that Peri was lowkey OP as a baby, especially when compared to someone like Irep. He was well liked, smart, good in school, and powerful. There’s a reason why adult Peri comes off as having Gifted Kid Burnout — he basically went from being good at everything to struggling hard and not managing it well)

Him losing his godparent position entirely would hurt, even if he has other options

On the other hand… it also kinda hurts to think of him with anyone but Dev right now. Dev’s situation still sucks, and if anything it’s just been reinforced that how much it sucks. We don’t know if he retains the realization that his father will never put him first, but that doesn’t matter because we the audience know Dale won’t. This kid still has every reason to be miserable, and he desperately needs an adult in his corner. Again, Peri and Dev’s stories are unresolved and could go anywhere. It would suck if we don’t get some kind of conclusion, an actual sense of finality, for them

…Anyway, if you’re a fan of the show and have netflix, please stream it tomorrow. It’s been said that the show likely won’t be renewed (and therefore these plot lines left unresolved) if it doesn’t immediately do well when it dropped. I’ve been burned too many times to get my hopes up for a second season, but it can’t hurt to try

[theblasianwitch]

Strap in folks this one is a biggie

✨️Doodle Focus Tarot Reading✨️

How it works: look at the image and let your eyes relax and wonder. Find out where your eyes focus the most on. Once you've determined what your personal focal point is, scroll down and find it for a reading on what you need to focus on currently in your life.

I will list the images/symbols in alphabetical order to make it easier on you.

Ready?

Go!

🐝 BEE: Your main focus in life is success, and from your cards it looks as if you are suffering because of it. You have a great potential inside of you but your focus is on where you want to be and what the world can, or in your mind should give you. Your mind wanders on all you could do and want to do, if only if only, while your very world around you seems to fall apart. You feel trapped and that's the opposite of how you are. Around you are multiple possibilities to enjoy and live if you just focus on the now and the world around you. Do what you can with what you have and in it you will find the growth you're looking for.

🐦 BIRD(S): You must know everything, or perhaps you already think you do. Knowledge is power and it helps us on our path to freedom... but knowing things can also be a burdened. You may know too much or feel as though as you learn more you actually know less. Your knowledge isolates you from others but what you need really is to learn to trust. Trust yourself. Trust what you know. And trust others. Humanity is unpredictable and uncontrollable and no amount of knowledge truly helps you to navigate this unpredictable world. The knowledge you need or truly seek is higher, spiritual knowledge. Learn to conserve and focus your energy on the things that truly matter to you. Dive into yourself and learn who you truly are is your first step. Find out what lies you may be holding onto that have settled into you and become a part of you. Shape shifting into what others expected of you. This causes great confusion within you which drives your search for knowledge. Shift your perspective and forget everything you know and start within. This won't be easy but the main thing to know, is focus your energy so you don't burn yourself out. "Gifted kid burnout"

BUBBLE(S): Your current focus is on yourself, but not the way some deem as self centered. You are in a period of life where you are developing/regaining your confidence and finding your passion. You are taking life by the horns and quite literally turning it into itself. Anything life currently throws at you will be taken and weighed in your mind and promptly be rejected, accepted, or used for your personal gain. You are quite literally in control of your life and no one can tell you otherwise.

🦋 BUTTERFLY: ("This Mountain" by Faouzia played in my mind as your cards came out). You have sheer determination to enjoy life. You take in multiple perspectives and don't let things get to you easily. However you also seem more focused on false happiness and you don't seem to know what true genuine happiness is. In a way, your focus is on finding what makes you happy. You turn a negative situation into a positive one easily and light the path for others but as you do that the same light you carry is burning you and you have yet to notice. It is time to focus on what brings you joy and happiness, and not what others want. Stop people pleasing and learn to please yourself.

🍀☘️ CLOVER(S): Self love is your current focus, or it very well should be. The energies surrounding you are that of comfort and rest. Life is saying you can take it easy as of now as you have reached the end of a cycle and enjoying the rewards earned. New energy is now to be focused on creativity, passions and love. You're in a state of recovery and need to take this time dedicated to yourself. Within you are ideas waiting to burst forth, but for the ideas to come through you need to recharge and relax. Your energy will be needed again soon. Rest, and maybe enjoy your favorite sweets and comfort foods

CURVED LINES/SOUND WAVES: Your current focus is on that of achieving peace. Avoiding conflict and taking the passively easy way out may be your style, but really you need to focus on how you are affecting yourself and your life for the sake of peace. You rely heavily on some unknown (or soon to be known) guide while you look at life through blind eyes. You're so focused on the calm and serenity you try to achieve or think you have, when you don't realize that you yourself are about to sink and fall into darkness that lingers just below the surface of that peace. There are those around you who lean on you and rely on you for the peace, but if you ever were to stand up for yourself and your needs those same people would prosecute and energetically destroy you. Put up your barriers and start putting in the hard work needed. Peace doesn't last long.

DRAGONFLY: Your entire focus is on looking and becoming successful. You stand proud and work hard to make it to the top, but the success is only on the surface. Inside you are betraying the very essence of yourself. You've sacrificed and put on a mask to make it where you are today and may even be planning to continue the charade until what you think is your dream (that may just have been imposed on you by others) is achieved. While moving forward you further tie yourself to your hopes and reliance on how others see you, knowing that if you were ever to go against their wishes it would bring them disappointment and in turn make yourself sad. When you fail, you hurt yourself, not because you wanted this, but because you want others to be happy and proud of you. Remember, every choice you make in life leads to another. Are you going to live your life regretting those choices, or make some along the way that you truly want?

👁👁 EYE(S): You my dear, are consumed by your past. This could be something you've done, happened to you, or you lived through. You are not acknowledging something within you that needs resolution. It causes repressed feelings and in turn makes you more sensitive and more likely to be triggered by little things that may relate to the event. You are on guard almost all the time and tend to have low confidence because of this as well. Harness your emotions, learn to access it, begin to question why until you no longer have an answer (look into some shadow work, specifically getting energies to do inner child work). Your mind is open to you in every sense to the point that things from all aspects of your life seep in and affect your present, learn to navigate your mind and control those emotions that keep coming up, but most importantly, learn why they are happening and acknowledge them. Everything in life is connected and makes its way back to you somehow. Learn your mind and inner self in order to rise above your current circumstances.

👨‍👩‍👦 FAMILY/PEOPLE: Growth and comfort are your focus. You are in no rush for anything in particular, and instead focus on the regular progression of your life. You are relaxed and know the meaning of prosperity, which is living life the way you want comfortably without too much trouble. A life filled with happiness and good memories is a life well lived. Your perspective of life is not common and in turn causes you some inner backlash as you question your focus due to the way society is conditioned and attempting to condition you. However, this focus is perfect and will create a life well lived for you, do not give into the pressure of having to need more.

🔥 FIRE: Despite the blaze and passion a fire may indicate, this is not your focus in life dear little light. Your focus is on creating happiness and stability, not necessarily for yourself though. You want to make sure you have nothing to worry about and to do that you try to keep everyone else comfortable and happy with nothing to complain about in order to ruin your own inner peace. This form of happiness is very fickle and sensitive however. The minute you neglect, forget or turn down someone else for the sake of yourself is the moment you realize that everything you planted to create happiness for others will go up in flames. Like a forest fire, once the damage passes everything will regrow, but the new seeds you plant should be for yourself, not for others. This in turn will create a stronger, more stable surrounding for you and those important to you.

🌸 FLOWER: "If lingering heartache has been pulling you down, make the effort to take extra good care of yourself so that you can renew your well-being." You my dear are currently lost and have no real focus, instead the cards are advising what your focus should be. Take the time to slow down and look within yourself. Your inner conscious has messages for you, waiting for you to be able to hear them. You have a responsibility to yourself and to aim your energy at things that your future self will reap the rewards of. Horses may be an important animal to you as their energies were all over your reading. Horses symbolize strength, courage and freedom. They carry us to where we need to go and are the basis of the power used for all our current methods of travel (horsepower). A journey is taking place and they are calling you to it. Don't be afraid and enjoy the ride.

🐟 FLYING FISH: Your focus is an inner journey. One where you are addressing things from your past, making sense of them and clearing away what no longer serves you. GOOD JOB!! This journey takes a lot of strength and resilience. We learn things we don't like about ourselves and then learn why, and sometimes instead we learn to embrace it. Expressing yourself is the next step for your journey. Take time to create, write, draw, paint, sing, anything that lets your inner spirit take over and guide you to release what needs to be released. Blessings are coming. Keep up the good work and stay strong.

🐞 LADYBUG: Despite the luckiness and unluckiness of a ladybug, you seem to be the type to keep any form of fortune you gain and at times become overconsumed and suffocated by it. Anger is the primary emotion that currently rules your life. When things are going good for you, you are peaceful, when things are going wrong you are quick to distribute blame and "attack" leading you to separate yourself from others who may actually be of benefit to you. You need to learn to harness and control your emotions and not let it rule your every thought process. By doing this your journey will not only go smoothly, but you'll find it becomes more abundant as well.

🍃 LEAF/LEAVES (LARGE): Your focus, or what it needs to be, is on release. Stong emotions are at play in your life causing you to see the world through tinted glasses. A moment of creation may be helpful to you in order to release and/or find out what emotions are in play. Doodle, draw, or paint freely with no direction. Try auto writing by releasing control of your mind and let whatever words come to you flow through. Give yourself time and space to process these emotions and from it you will find a strength you never knew existed and your mind will work clearer than it ever has before.

🌿 LEAF/LEAVES (SMALL/TINY): You want peace, but to achieve peace you need to be alone with yourself for a while before making any necessary actions to achieve true peace. Animals shown for your reading are of both the land and sea. To be more specific, a seal/sea lion and a walrus, both of which are similar to the manatee which commonly got mistaken in history as mermaids. Life at sea symbolizes diving into our deep subconscious and addressing what lies underneath. Where the water meets the shore is where the blur between reality and our imagination created by our subconscious and unaddressed feelings meet. Which can be hectic and turbulent, or restful and peaceful. It all depends on how you handle what's inside, and where you choose to put your perspective. These creatures commonly live on the shoreline or rocks found near the shore. The sea is what happens inside you. The shore, where it is shaky sand or solid rock is what is happening in your life. Focus on how those are interacting with each other

LIGHTHOUSE: You my darlings are surrounded by the fear of being alone. Isolation has been a frequent visitor and companion, rejection it's twin. This fear holds you back and leads you into making some rash decisions and trusting in the wrong emotion. Fear not however, for you are destined for more. It may not be what you want to hear, but don't focus on finding companionship. Your inner world is saying to listen. It calls to you and wants to guide you towards the life you're meant to have and be happy in. Once you connect with it, you will find a confidence within yourself you've forgotten of before. A confidence that is backed by a family of kindred spirits. I'm getting more of a chosen family rather than blood family. They fight for you and will die for you as you would for them. Connect to your inner world, find that confidence, and with that new confidence listen to your intuition and you family to embark on something new together

LONER/PERSON SITTING: There's honestly not much I can tell you my friend. Life has great success planned for you and only asks for you to surrender to its natural flow. You lack faith or something to believe in and it seems to cause you to take a lot of matters into your own hands, when all you need is to stop, breath, let go, and listen. Life has a way to guide you and already determined you are destined for great things. Trying to force actions at this point is like putting a giant rock in a small stream. You may still get there, or it may ruin the path entirely. Stop putting rocks and surrender to the stream

🌙 MOON/CRESCENT MOON: You're in the dark when it comes to your mind, shrouded by fear. What you're afraid of at this point is unknown, it's just a general anxiety. At this point you need to remember to take moments to breath. A form of cleansing may be necessary to clear away some of the build up in your mind and spirit. While clouds may still be there, at least it'll help to see where you're going and be able to take charge of your life again.

🎶 MUSIC/MUSIC NOTES: Your focus is on growth. Growth being how you have change or how you will change. Who you are last year, yesterday, today, tomorrow, and in the future. You are working on finding your inner strength in order to reverse the sorrow and sadness you're grown use to over the years. The universe is on your side. Keep going. The sadness may still be there, but it will no longer hold you back

🌊 OCEAN/WAVES: The waves are swallowing you aren't they? Your life, or the perspective you have of it, is filled with sadness. Whether it's your own or you somehow absorbed other's is uncertain, but a deep dive may be necessary to figure it out, as within your sadness there is a seed for growth. It's been planted so deep it's having a hard time to grow, but with time and the waves of sadness receding, that seed has the ability to find light once again. You need to determine what emotions are true and your own, and what emotions you may have absorbed from others as an unknowing empath. This overwhelm of emotions is making it hard for you to think clearly, and needs to be dealt with before you drown

➕️❌️ PLUS SIGNS/Xs: You're comfortable with the way things are, almost too comfortable. You are being prompted to take action and change up your life in creative ways. You have a gift of insight that just needs time to harness your focus on it. Avoid any form of confrontation during this time, as you are vulnerable to having whatever energy stirring within you to be easily taken from you.

🌧 RAIN/DIAGONAL LINES: There's something currently unknown to you and others around you and you are determined to find out, to solve it, to uncover what is unknown. You are blind to the situation if you are trusting logic and what your eyes see, instead you are asked to trust your instincts and follow the drive inside you. Listen to your guides and intuition, stay positive, and you will find clarity for this mystery.

🕸 SPIDER WEB: You may dear, are in dire need of a vacation. This isn't so much what you are focused so much as, you're focused on way too much and you've become numb to life. You force yourself to keep moving forward and just barely dodge anything that could possibly go wrong. Now you are being asked to rest. In a way, you're being asked to sit back and watch what happens to those who rely on you without you. This rest will also help you to reconnect with yourself that has become lost or combined with the masses you assist on a regular basis.

SPIRALS (SMALL, LONG LOOPS): You are a light for many, and have a desire to continue being that light. Your entire focus is on finding ways to help enlighten, move, heal, and assist others. The one advice the cards have for you is to not forget to take time to cleanse and renew your energy every now and then to avoid burnout. Each time you help someone you help create another aspect of yourself that now must grow without you. The animal starfish comes to mind. They are real life hydras as when they get cut off in anyway, the pieces grow into replicas of themselves. Actually... I'm not even sure there are ways to kill a starfish and they just die natural once they've reached the end of their cycle. *goes to look it up* Aside from being removed from it's natural habitat, the only other ways to kill a starfish is by injecting forms of acids like vinegar and salt or ox bile... Symbolically you can take that as not being comfortable and people who are just salty to the max are your weakness.

SPIRALS/WHORLS (FINGERPRINT LIKE): Your focus is on spiritual growth. Your intuition development has been the primary focus for you for quite some time in order to develop confidence in your abilities so that the natural world become easier for you to handle. When it comes to the natural world in terms of materials, health, wealth, and anything in the world, you are a lot more in control than you think, the only thing holding you back is your own thoughts, but some of these thoughts did not stem from you but were seeds planted by others in order to hold you back. Stay strong and uproot these seeds to succeed.

✨️ STAR(S): You're confident, almost too confident as you are not seeing any perspective beside your own. Certain ideals and people are lost to you when they are necessary for balance. What people say to you or anything that just isn't what you want easily frustrates you but it's exactly these things that you need to hear. You feel above everyone around you, but you are still in the same world together and show no care for that. All intuition and guidance is lost to you as you're stubbornly stuck in your ways fighting with yourself and those around you. Learn to accept the highs and the lows, that is what it truly means to love yourself. Acknowledge where you are wrong or at fault and make progress to change if you ever want to not be alone in the world

☀️🌅 SUNSET/SUN: Your entire focus is on remaining or appearing strong to those around you, despite being wounded by life, those around you and even self inflicted wounds are left unaddressed in you. A call to surrender to these injuries is necessary and calls for some creative insight in order to express them. Leaving them unattended will only cause the wounds to grow or get deeper. Acts of self love may be necessary. It takes true strength to face your emotions and conflicts head on. Once you have a grasp and understanding of them, great healing and power will come to you, only then will you truly be strong as you now hold your emotions gracefully. Those who truly love you will accept this change and aid in your nurturing, not push the dagger deeper.

🌳 TREE: You've surrendered to the universe and left everything to chance a long time ago. You stay strong when things go wrong and grow from it and continue moving, but life isn't all about movement and staying strong. Sometimes life calls for us to rest and this is where you struggle to find a balance. You've surrendered, now listen. When it's time to move, move. When it's time to rest, rest.

If you found any of this helpful, useful, or just liked it, please interact. Also. Let me know if you guys want more of these. I doodle a lot and find that people do tend to focus on different things so I thought it could be a cool alternative to a pick a card reading as an art witch.

✨️The Blasian Witch✨️

[rustycopper4use]

My grease fire life comic story idea~

It’s basically the group get isakaied(?) into a fantasy world (original I know right)

Where creatures of all shapes come to life

The royal monarchs reigns over all

And child labour laws, human/creature exploitation and experimentation laws are non existent.

Except the group don’t start off as they should. 

  Turns out they have life’s in this world. How you might ask, doesn’t matter anyways!

  They replaced their fantasy counterparts.

Clementine 

She formally was very close with the royal household, and even worked closely with their eldest child. But after a disastrous argument and learning family secrets, bridges were burnt. And now clementine is accused of witchcraft, living on the edge of the town to avoid law enforcement.

Denise (deez nuts- I’m sorry)

Came from a line of incredible swordsmen, passed down techniques not dared to be heard outside the family.

 What’s this technique? Well! Denise doesn’t know, to her luck somewhere down the line her father vowed to never learn the family trade and estranged himself from his family to pursue cooking.

   And now Denise wants to relearn the family trade. And start her own traveling hitmen- I mean hero’s for hire!

Sarah

A thief, whose heart is in creating, inventions were their specialty as a kid. Won a competition, and showed great promise a true gifted kid.

  After a while their creations were less interesting and more standard. Everyone else caught up. And now they run this old tavern/store in town, stealing on the sidelines.

Burnout gifted kid at its finest.

Ash(ly)

New to the town and lives in a rundown part of it. With no remarkable abilities or background, this fresh start might be what he needed! (It’s the fourth time he moved)

 Working small jobs to stay afloat, tired and regretful of his choices he wishes for more than this.

  Maybe he can find someone to help him

@piffany666 @lunaritychuwolf

[multiimistakes]

southeast hick redneck core. dead sibling he probably had a weird codependent but also competitive relationship with. rocky home life in a secluded backwoods. witness to typical southern nature horrors. probably an oddly gifted kid who hit burnout super quick. went from being interested in people and :)!!! to turning super super bitter and cynical when he realized rules and morals and the like were just optional for some people if they had enough money. very questionable morals but oddly still good aligned?

A Fuck Around and Find out sort of southern vibe, a Please Give Me a Reason sort of dude. Noble and good aligned in the sense that he go a mile if given an inch in the sense that like if you kick a dog or beat on a woman or whatever, he's going to beat you within an inch of your life with no warning. was actually a super squeaky clean student, this all kind of just started snowballing around his senior year.

grungy. always has hat hair. probably cuts the sleeves off every tshirt that comes into his possession. smokes, doesn't drink often and doesn't like being around people that do. likes to carve wood and shoplift. has the mentality that if he doesn't get caught, did he really do anything wrong? the sort of dude who is kind of that sleeper agent main character like he just needs to smallest reason to get dragged into some chaotic nonsense and become some ride or die. all animal dude but specifically looks like a dog person but leans more cat.

mid to late twenties? maybe early 30s? dunno haven't decided. idk about names but for some reason I feel like he'd dump his birth name and go with something like Thistle or some shit kdfjbgdfg

[oddlittlestories]

i know you’ve said you like hearing and considering different reads/ interpretations of the house characters before, but are there any hcs/ interpretations that just. have you in a deathgrip/ that you find yourself turning back to often?

Ooh. I love this question. I'm going to give the short version of a list, because otherwise this would be way too long.

So the true deathgrip ones that just hit so personally…

Gay Wilson, filled w comphet & how that connects to the way he engages in social roles

Bi House, especially out!House

Bonus points if he has a long and storied history with the community. I'm not 100% sure this is supported by canon, but it has a strong grip on me nonetheless.

Hilson

Chase and Thirteen as House's adoptive / proxy children

Lesbian Cameron

Gifted kids burnout read. I think you saw that one go by but I can link it if people want.

Anything about Kutner that doesn't limit the discussion to his finale. Idk, he's not my top character to latch onto, but I still crave more meta, content, etc. with him, and since I mostly have to create it myself, I've gotten more and more attached.

Uhh something about how you can read the world as punishing / seeing the characters as evil for their non-conformity and could potentially read that as the trigger for some of the downward slides they do. I'm not being super clear here but it goes back a bit to gifted kids burnout and probably deserves its own independent meta too

The ones that I love and am attached to, but not to deathgrip levels:

Just about any LGBT read of the characters that involves comphet, repression, and/or (though I don't really have the life experiences to write it) religious trauma

Chase and Thirteen as siblings, plus maybe throw Kutner and Martha M. Masters in there as family members, too. It's an equally valid read to see it as a fight-to-the-death etc etc dynamic but I'm a sucker for found family.

ADHD Kutner.

AuDHD Lucas.

Autistic House.

Just about any neurodivergent read.

Look, these characters are just so LGBT/neurodivergent coded, and I can't get enough of it.

[cr33pypaper]

Random collection of headcanons (that are kinda basic) for the HoA cast:

Nick

Nick grew up in a family that went to church almost every week, but since enlisting, he hasn't been. He starts going again after they survive.

Was in the choir and very shy about it as a kid

He also grew up in a close knit, large family that has a military history

Picked up his smoking habit in High School and hasn't been able to quit. His family gives him shit for it, but it helps him calm down

For some reason, I feel like he's the 2nd oldest in his family and his older sibling went into the miltary? And he followed in their footsteps, wanting to make them proud. But he also gives off oldest brother vibes :)

His parents and siblings keep in close contact when he's away and sends him gifts and letters even though they call frequently. Jason sometimes gets gifts from them when Nick mentions him

Jason

Has a sister, what is my reasoning? Don't know, gives off those vibes

Former Art Kid turned Burnout

Had long/shaggy hair before joining the military

Cheap as fuck because he grew up poor and can't handle spending money

Used to smoke cigarettes on top of everything else, but quit cold turkey after he enlisted

Had his ears pierced, but came to the conclusion that they looked stupid and stopped wearing them when he joined the Marines

Almost flunked out of High School, but barely scraped by and got his GED

Rachel

Used to play some sort of sport in her school years, maybe Softball or she ran Track

Her and Jason go out for drinks together monthly and sit in silence or bitch about their subordinates

Her and Eric didn't have a big wedding, they got married at the courthouse and had a small party afterwards. She keeps the dress she wore pristine in the back of her closet

Was the bossiest kid ever and the teachers always chose her to be the representative. She was the best line leader known to man

Would drive a jeep or a pick-up

Paints her nails a light pink or glossy clear, but would get french tips when she wasn't following dress code

Got a fuck ass bob once as a teenager and regretted it so bad she refused to try a new hairstyle for years and years

A BEAST at card games. Beat the whole squad's ass at Blackjack, many of them still have flashbacks and refuse to play any game with her

Her career is her livelihood, has vacation time stacked up and rarely uses it

Black coffee drinker

Eric

Jumped at the opportunity to have Clarise as his assistant, handpicked her when he saw her resume

Wanted to have kids/a kid before him and Rachel's marriage went downhill

Only child vibes

Radiohead fan vibes

Always adored science and was one of those kids who wanted to be an astronaut

Guilty pleasure is those stupid ass sitcoms that runs late

Threw himself into work after the accident, trying to distract himself and Clarise would find him passed out working

Hates the taste of coffee, but drinks it for the energy. He's a tea man at heart

Salim

Used to be the worst cook known to man, but learned when he had Zain and grew to be really good at it

Tried to keep up a good relationship with his neighbors and bring them food when he made extra, but they never grew into the friendships he hoped they would

Has a record player and collects records of any genre, but enjoys slow music

Zain helps him cut his hair

Sweet tooth for desserts, especially chocolates

Dances like a dad to his records and drinks tea in the mornings to classical music while tending to his garden

Never got a chance to go to university, but always wanted to. Loved school

[knowlessman]

"shigaraki has become too powerful. we need to bring in the one person we know who can disable him from a distance." "you can't mean -" "I do. Contact Mr Smiley." (bnha s6e7-10)

I forgot Aquaman or wever his name is was keeping Eraser Head's eyes wet so he could stare at Tomura 'XD that's just, a thing. that's how this show works. that's just a thing in this show

"he even has all might's power and toughness" blinks in Magic player I wonder what those might be. Maybe like 7/7? or he's a 1/1 that can pump?

"'little brother?' I didn't say that. I don't want to be like you, teacher, I want to surpass you. my will is my own" yeah, I don't think you read all the fine print back when Super-Satan took you in. gifted powers from vague-talking benefactors have a tendency to not care what you want in the end

"Vanishing Fist" is a cool name for an attack. wonder what they cribbed it from (turns out they didn't, it sounded like something that coulda been from something else tho imo)

(midnight got got by mr compress and is telling momo to use a forbidden technique or something to stop bigfoot) hmmm. so midnight had yaoyorozu analyze her sedative stuff so she can make it? yaoyorozu's quirk may be a strict upgrade over some of the pros', then.

ngl, mt lady hasn't seemed to be slowing bigfoot down worth a damn so far. dint even try to get him off his feet, he was just pushing her ahead of him like a plow for the longest time

figures, acid girl remembered bigfoot from her origin story or something and it made her fumble the shot. or he just reminded her of it? not sure, I don't remember the details that well (could swear her origin story was literally about a "monster" looking guy just asking for directions but idk). anyway, kirishima to the rescue? like they do have that shared backstory bit kinda thing so like sure

…what the.

-- fucker just. …fuck is that called? gurning? yeah. mfer just won the universe gurning championship of all time out of nowhere. swallered his nose. and ears. and eyes.

(tomura got eraser head with the dart) I don't guess our guy's wearing dartproof shinguards under them trousers or summat? -- BRO.

-- BRO. when is this that kind of show

(OP starts up again) okay, get this upbeat… get this lewis carroll denver jam band shit outta my face, a man just cut his fucking leg off with a knife with one swipe, my man has a vorpal fucking sword specifically for chopping entire legs off and you are playing stuff that would sound too tame and mild and childish for fucking burnout 3. "lazy generation" wouldn't come close to cutting it for this shit, get outta here -- hell, what was he gonna do if it hit him in the gut? chop his entire fucking self in half? -- sweet from atlantis: "the catalog says this little beauty can cut through a femur in twenty-eight seconds. I'm betting I could cut that time in half"

"the giant villain is expected to pass through eleventy different cities on his way to wherever he's going" see, now they got sad twangy strings in the background, it sounds like "In the Woods Somewhere." this is appropriate music for the context -- also the kids really did go through all that for fuckall. : | apparently he can Tarrasque in his sleep or something

robotnik: "that one mistake will bring about your demise!" fucking cyclops with his stupid dinky eye lasers. and writers not knowing what defibrillators are for.

oh yeah, this episode's named after bakugo for some reason. writer really does act like he's fucking enkidu when he's just extremely simply a bad person, it's never gonna make sense to me

flashbacks of bakugo "helping" deku figure out the black whip ig -- wait shit, so deku now also has an ability called Float that just lets him Peter Pan. …or just levitate ig, apparently he needs the other stuff to actually move -- all might: "you're helping him learn his powers to atone for your past actions. but he probably never thought about it" these two make no goddamn sense. bakugo is still every bit as abusive, not only towards deku, but towards every person he interacts with, as he was when we first met him. he's never shown any trace of regretting being that way. hell, he also just got done spelling out that he can't understand that deku values and cares about other people, that that quality of deku's is repulsive to him. -- bakugo is just… is just wired in such a way, whether by nature or nurture or both, that he needs help becoming anything but several kinds of danger to other people. and he'll never get it, and he'll somehow continue to be portrayed as some kind of, for lack of a better word, "quirky" hero.

cyclops's cape is completely gone now, dang. is tomura gonna get a new one after this fight, or what? that thing was his whole wardrobe, now he's just Ben Swolo with wrong hair and chapped lips.

welp, here comes Super-Satan, Tomura, here comes your benefactor to take over the reins. toldja. -- (bakugo took the hit) there'll be no living with him after this. not that there was any before

"I finally got you" ah ah ah. if I didn't know any better, I'd think the Avatar Spirits might have something to say about that. I know you gave this power away, all that time ago, but it might not want to go back. it's got several minds of its own now

the villain team's hacker guy has visual on the fight? while riding on bigfoot's back? how shit is the good guys' tech if this nobody with a laptop can see shit and nobody else knew anything until bigfoot started moving?

"I need to ask sakuraraka why hawks killed twice" yeah because she'll definitely have any damned idea what you're talking about (did he die? I mean they kinda played it like he did but they do that a lot and it very rarely seems to take) -- "you're not the only one who's mad about twice" …what IS spinner doing here? what is his whole deal? does he have one? why is his sword twenty swords taped together in a pile, and why haven't we seen him do anything since like season two? at least, I could swear he hasn't done anything, for having such a distinctive design he's such a nothingburger of a character

"what are you going to do to me?" 'XD fucking nothing, the best her power can do is levitate you and you know it

oh goddammit, the next one's title is literally That Bit with the Gifs and the Hall & Oats Memes, the bit I been waiting for this entire time, but I just watched four in a row (four HEAVY ones) and I wanna stop. I'm just gonna have to save it and open on it (and Knife Girl's BS) next time

[cross-my-heartt]

Sabine vs Thrawn or the gifted character problem

I’m going to be honest here, I did not enjoy Sabine in Rebels. More than that, I actually found her arc pretty subpar.

For the longest time the only intrigue around her were the alluded hang ups with her family only for it to turn out that her family does in fact love her very much and was quickly and easily persuaded to support her.

Sabine’s only flaw was a mistake she made when she was too young to be held accountable for it - she succeeded too hard, realized she was wrong early on and simply needed to succeed even harder to fix that mistake and move on.

As a ‘gifted kid’ with burnout syndrome all of this felt… really hollow.

But then I thought that maybe I was being unfair to Sabine. Because I really like Thrawn and Thrawn and Sabine are two characters who essentially have the same problem: they’re just too good at what they do.

Except that when you look at how they were handled, they couldn’t be more different. Because while Sabine only suffered the consequences of her competence once, Zahn took every single way Thrawn’s talents could affect his life and literally pummeled him with that.

(as usual, spoilers ahead)

For starters Thrawn’s skills make him as many enemies as they give him allies. He’s ridiculed, hated, envied, alienated and even villainized for them. People are ferociously determined to take him down, either because they believe he’s a threat or because he sows jealousy and contempt everywhere he goes, upstaging people left and right without even meaning to.

The connections he has that work to protect him sometimes paint him as unfairly privileged. All of this has real consequences when you see characters become irrational for how antagonistic they are towards him (I’m looking at you Roscu). 

Even the people close to him aren’t immune from it. Thrass, for all the wholesomeness of their relationship, was himself once brought to a point where he ground his teeth every time Thrawn opened his mouth.

People’s attitudes aside, Thrawn has weaknesses that balance out his skills. Even more so, they are weaknesses he can never compensate for with his brilliance.

He’s politically inept, making him a target to both his allies and enemies. His ignorance is exploited by others, not just in his home world but in the Empire by people like Tarkin and Pryce who call on him to do their dirty work – requests he essentially can’t deny because these people are his political buffers.

He’s socially challenged. Emotionally constipated. Confused and uncomfortable in social situations, insecure about it despite the overwhelming confidence he shows in his career (a career that ironically drags him deeper and deeper into the politics he’s so poor at handling).

There are only two people he’s ever had a decent emotional connection to and one of them died in an accident Thrawn was involved in (something that if he doesn’t blame himself for, others already do) while the other is far away, cut off from him because his own actions cornered him into being exiled from his home, regardless of what control he had in determining the circumstances of that exile.

And no I’m not talking about Eli. Thrawn and Eli aren’t friends, Eli says so himself. Why? Because at the end of the day Thrawn’s relationships are hindered by his skills. His oddities make it hard for him to connect with people and his talents act as a barrier because Thrawn was Eli’s superior first, his mentor second and his friend, if at all, third.

His quirks affect not just his relationships but the way he sees people as well – he confesses once to seeing others as assets first and people second. And that puts every single noble goal he’s had into question. Is Thrawn really concerned about loss of life or is he just concerned with results? We can’t be sure and probably neither can he.

So what does that say about his relationship with Eli? With Faro? With Thalias?

And what does that say about their relationships to him? Because for all that those around him admire and value him it often feels like they themselves see him more as an asset than a person. And oh the irony of that.

Sure he inspires respect and loyalty but do the people around him care about him or about what he can do. The things he could achieve; the people he can save.

What about his morals then? What happens to a character who’s so consistently successful? Well, maybe they become dangerous. Overconfident. Self-righteous.

Thrawn’s morals have been spiraling for a while, they spiral so far that they dig him into a hole it’s doubtful he’ll ever dig himself out of. Because of his moral views he ends up as Palpatine’s tool, making up more and more convoluted excuses for why he does the things he does.

His plans are as solid as sand castles – one piece out of place and the whole thing falls down (cough Atollon cough) and yet he consistently puts people close to him in danger, believing against all odds that he’ll once again be successful. Only that isn’t always the case.

But I’ll stop this ramble here and get to the actual point I’m trying to make.

Which is that all of this, literally all of this, somehow connects to Thrawn’s ‘gifts’. Zahn gave Thrawn extraordinary abilities but to balance that out he made those gifts a bump, a curse if you will, in every other aspect of Thrawn’s life: emotional, interpersonal, moral, political.

TLDR, there are implications to being a gifted kid/adult/character. And where Sabine’s arc fails, I think, is limiting those implications to a onetime event or some inconsequential insecurity. If you’re going to make a character who’s so outstandingly competent in one area, that should affect at least one other aspect of their life (if not all as we see with Thrawn which makes sense given the sheer scale of his talent).

None of this is helped by the fact that this is yet another female character who’s only held back by her self-doubt and just has to realize how amazing she is to keep being amazing.

And I get it, impostor syndrome is a thing. When people’s expectations outweigh your belief in yourself it can really suck. But even then I have to ask myself, where did Sabine’s insecurities come from?

What aspect of her life was affected by her being so good at what she does? What did she sacrifice for the sake of meeting expectations? How did that affect her relationships?

The answer is, it didn’t. Sabine is good at everything she does, likes everything she does and is loved by everyone around her. Aside from some minor trust issues and teenage temper tantrums, her social life is hunky dory. Her moral compass is flawless and all she needed to do was believe in herself.

All of this is really disappointing because I’m tired of female characters being denied actual meaningful flaws.

So all the more kudos to Zahn for giving us not just tons of female characters but also female characters you want to hit with a chair (again, looking at you Roscu. Bonus points for Roscu actually because her flaw was being way too idiotically confident and petty as opposed to insecure).

Sabine is a virtuous, charismatic, multi-talented child prodigy. Which makes her pretty hard to relate to even if you know what being a gifted kid means. She has the skills but none of the drawbacks.

Thrawn is an emotionally constipated, insecure yet disastrously overconfident character with honorable goals and a morally corrupt resolve. Who both dehumanizes others and is dehumanized himself, lonely yet surrounded by people that gravitate towards him because of his gifts, both ruthless and kind, praised and loathed, practical and cold yet passionate, brilliant yet naïve, invincible and vulnerable, thorough and reckless. All contradictions that somehow make perfect sense. And there’s so much to relate to in that convoluted mess.

And I get it, Zahn had six huge books to develop (canon) Thrawn’s character but I think that even the tiniest fraction of that could have been implemented for Sabine and her character would have been all the better for it.

Anyway, this is just how I see things. I know people may disagree with me on this.

[paradoxical-catastrophe]

It’s probably just the Frontal Lobe developing combined with dissociation but… anything even 6 months ago just feels like… not me, though I can recognize it as me. But anything like… 2-3 years ago, I could easily be convinced that was not me.

Vent ig? More just complaining. TW mentions vague of sui. This is all just random jumping back and foward about shit on my mind

Even just comparing highschool to now…

I did so many clubs and extracurriculars in ms/hs, and wanted to do more. I did a military program, band, a team creativity program thing, martial arts… I even wanted to do stuff like chess club, math competitions, orchestra, etc.

I drew constantly, I did my homework, I attended everything, I generally felt productive.

And now like… the last time I drew was over a month ago. I had to drop most things due to lack of time and loss of motivation, I only do band now. And… I don’t practice my instrument. I constantly forget homework, I never study. I was a gifted kid, and I thought the burnout would plateau in college. But it’s only gotten worse. I haven’t made any friends here. I don’t know my roommates names or anything about them. I haven’t made a proper meal (aka actual cooking, not just box stuff) in weeks.

I want to indulge my hobbies more. And I know the biggest reason I couldn’t is because of Friend Issues™️, deteriorating mental health, and school. And like yeah I’m finally getting out of ‘need constant distraction or the Harmful Thoughts will come back, but now it’s just… I feel empty without it.

I miss the kid I was. She couldn’t have ever imagined life would be like what it is now…

She has no idea we’re trans, we’re disabled, we broke up with that one guy who actually turned out to have cheated on us, lost that one friend who meant everything to us, learned how actually disgusting this stupid state is to the point I’m scared and tempted to take down any visible pride things I have because of elections, not even the fact we’re a system.

But like we got cool ass dyed hair and piercings and tattoos that’s sick at least. I want more.

It’s hard to think about what my life would have been like if I hadn’t done this one thing. If I hadn’t spoken to this person, if I hadn’t watched this show, if I hadn’t gotten an account on this website…

Yet, I really don’t think there’s a universe where life is any better than this. There’s a lot of shit, but there’s some wonderful things too.

Yeah I was cheated on, injured my leg, traumatized, constantly sick as a kid, made absolutely terrible mistakes, but. Now I’m in an apartment studying something I love, I’m playing fantastic music and I’m a lovely musician, I’m making fashion choices that I like, I’m doing what I want with my body. I’ve even got a fantastic boyfriend and group of friends that I don’t feel like I have to pretend around. I never realized how much I was masking and pretending and hiding until I met these people.

Idk whether I’m happy or sad. Something something cancelled out I guess. Now that Friend Issues™️ is over after being stuck with them for over a year, things finally feel like they’re (somewhat) going up. Just gotta stay alive until then. And I think working on fixing my sleep schedule is helping. No more staying up till 5-6 am!! Need a Morgana to bitch at me to sleep smh

I should pick up a new hobby. I still kinda feel like I’m distracting myself with my interests instead of enjoying my hobbies. I’d like to do something artistic, but I don’t have the motivation to really draw.

Maybe I’ll have some motivation tomorrow between classes. I do wanna draw my new oc and give him a solid outfit instead of just ‘inspo’…

[skzcoffeemachine]

Waited for this

genre : Chan, fluff

song : here always by seungmin

Chan felt like he had the answers to everything when he looked in her eyes.

They have known each other for 6 months now. their first encounter was nothing short of a movie scene. she was the cute volunteer dancing to 𝓘'𝓶 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼 with the elderly in the old age shelter, he was the burnout boy who came to the countryside to get a change of scenery and ended up entranced by her.

Her radiant smile lit up her face with warmth and joy and her big beautiful eyes gleaming under the lights made him all the more intrigued , to find out about her.

they became friends - or maybe more - he knew he wanted to be more than just friends from the start.

the gentle beach breeze caressed her tan skin, blowing her shiny black locks from her face. he cannot help but stare at her, who was staring out into the horizon,enjoying the sunset.

"y/n"

she hummed in response, turning towards him, her eyes glowing with different shades of brown in the sunset.

he let out a small gasp and she noticed it, making him blush a bright coral.

"chan", she said as she reached up to sweep a strand of hair away from his face, " you did really good today".

she was referring to the gifts he and the kids brought for the hospice home. he always wanted to help the community in some way and that happened sooner because of her.

they would sit outside at night, talking about some of the deepest stuff ,he had never felt someone get him like she did.

moreover, she calms his mind, with just one smile, a pat on the head or on the shoulder, a fist bump. he was too scared to go over that and hug her, like he usually does with his members and friends. what if she thought it was weird? what if she distanced herself?

so, her unexpected touch made him feel ways he never thought he could feel.

before they both could understand what was going on, he leaned in and kissed her, this time for real and not just in his thoughts.

her lips were soft and warm. contrary to his worries that she would push him off, her lips parted slightly, deepening the kiss.

he pulled her in by her waist as her breath deepened.

it was the kind of kiss that made them realise how much they needed each other, the kind of kiss that halts every thought in one's mind.

as their lips part, she whispered in a hoarse voice, "you have no idea how long I've waited, Chan".

"tell me more", he giggled under his breath as their foreheads rest against each other.

A/N : this is like my first try at writing for people to see. Please be kindddd!!!

I was listening to..

And this whole scene started playing in my head, I tried to put it in words. Sadly, i could have written the kiss scene better, if i actually knew how. Hehe.

[toonqueen]

Duckvember Day 1: Dead Duck (Part 1)

lololol Part 2 coming SOON hopefully.

Okay this story has OCs that are the adult kids of Mighty Ducks the Animated Series. HERE IS A CHEAT SHEET SINCE NOT MANY READ MY STORIES BACK IN HIGHSCHOOL. (Only One Many Here Has. lol) This story is very

Luke-  Duke’s son that pretty much looks exactly like him but has both eyes. Super smart but does not apply himself because of gifted child burnout. @fluxchix is responsible for him.

Maestro - Son of Canard and Luceria Decoy that fell out of a portal one day, like you do. Super sweet guy even though he has seen some shit. Also he's deaf so I'm writing SIGNED instead of SAID a lot.

Tayshia - Tanya and Wildwing daughter that someone while having loving parents turned out to be kinda a jerk man. Wtf is up with that?

Karma - Grin’s son, I really don’t have  much to explain here. 

Mercedes - Nosedive’s daughter. Everything you find annoying about Nosedive but then doubled. 

Molissa - Duke's daughter and Luke's younger sister.

Castor and Blaster - Mallory’s twins.  Funny story I can’t remember these two’s real names. These were their nicknames. I actually rarely ever wrote them so LOLOLOL. 

Rex - Dragaunus’ son that is good and working with the ducks because he’s the bad bitch Mercedes was able to pull by being autistic 

Tyrant - not related to Dragaunus in any way, just a new saurian from limbo that is the new bad guy or something.

THIS STORY IS LUKE AND MAESTRO CENTERED. 

Betaed by @cataradical but the next part may be unbetaed because I am unsupervised.

—-----------------------

 “Thank you for the ride. You do not have to stick around,” signed Maestro as he sat in the passenger seat. He had been excited all day to go to the bookstore. The book he wanted the author to sign was sitting in his lap.

“Ah, I’ll be in the area. There’s stuff on the other side of the street I’m going to check out,” replied Luke, signing as he spoke aloud.

“Cool. I will text you when I am done,” Maestro signed as he smiled, “I do not know how long the line is going to be. He is famous enough to draw a crowd.”

“Take your time. There’s no rush. Maybe we can have dinner afterwards,” Luke said and signed. Maestro put on the device that helped him hear. It was something Tanya had created a short while ago that easily wrapped around the back of his head and ended at a circular shape on each end. It wasn’t 100% helpful with hearing speech, but it was what he normally wore in battle mode so he could not be surprised and attacked from behind. 

“A quick dinner. I wanted to finish packing tonight,” Maestro signed, smile widening. He opened  the truck door to get out. He closed the door, tucked the book under his arm, and waved his friend off.. Luke snickered and waved in return before the other duck disappeared into the store.

Luke headed to the strip mall across the street. He was sure he could find something to waste his time on for a few hours. He didn’t want to go back to his empty apartment and for sure did not want to go back to the Pond and be forced to practice. 

Luke barely had a chance to park when he already received a text message from Maestro. He expected it to be a long paragraph explaining something that happened at the signing. Instead it was a short message: “Pick me up now. Please.”

Luke hopped back into the pickup, returned to the bookstore. Maestro was waiting outside with a very neutral expression. His copy of the book was no longer in his arms.

Luke parked the truck and Maestro got in without saying a word. Angrily buckled himself up.

“Uh, that was quick... How did it go?” Luke said as he signed, a little bit unsure about asking because it clearly did not go well. 

“Not good. Can we go to your apartment?” Maestro signed back as he dropped his messenger back onto his lap. The book didn’t appear to be inside, either.

“Okay…” Luke trailed off, replying with a simple “okay” in sign.

The drive was awkwardly quiet. Maestro stared out the window, hugging his bag. When they pulled off at an exit and stopped at a red light, he finally broke the silence. Without looking at Luke, he spoke aloud, “He didn’t even give me the chance to explain. He just said I was mocking his work.” Most of his enunciation and tone was clear but when it came to longer words they were more mumbled. Before Luke could say anything, he continued, “I mean. I knew better than to mention Limbo. I just said there is warring on our home planet and he just– just shot me down. I mean. It’s the elephant in the room that no one talks about, but it’s kinda common knowledge that alien ducks are here because our planet sucks right now. So wouldn’t it make sense there would be someone in my situation?” 

Luke nodded, not sure of what to say at that moment. He then realized Maestro wouldn’t see his nod so he reached over to give the upset duck a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. 

Maestro looked over at Luke; he wasn’t crying but his eyes were misty. 

Luke went to speak but was interrupted by an angry honk from the car behind him. The light had turned green. The gray duck grumbled to himself, annoyed, and resumed driving.

Maestro looked a little amused at Luke’s frustrated reaction to being honked at. He wiped a tear from his eye, chuckling, “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Luke added verbally. He then signed his response, forgetting a moment Maestro wouldn’t understand him. It was frustrating for him that he couldn’t communicate with his friend while driving. 

Maestro could tell Luke thought that he had missed the words. “Do not worry. I am watching your beak now,” he reassured softly with a light smile despite his watery eyes. 

“Did you still want to go out to eat?” asked Luke. 

“No,” Maestro replied verbally. He spoke softly because Luke had to keep his eyes on the road, but still signed a bit out of habit. “I am going to take a nap. I was up until 4 AM, so excited to meet this guy. I do not want to go back to the pond right now because Tanya would see I was upset and mom all up on me.”

Luke took a moment to process what Maestro said. “Yeah, it's fine,” he replied. “You can crash at my place. I have a few things to do so I’ll drop you off first.” 

----------- 

A Short Time Later

—---------

“What kind of dump did you send me to?” the gentleman spoke into his cellphone as he got off the elevator. He angrily dug into his pocket for the hotel room key. “I’m on the third floor. THIRD FLOOR.”

There was a pause as the man stopped in front of the door, finally retrieving the key card. “I don’t care if it's a five star hotel. I don’t care what actors stay here. This place is as bad as that so-called bookstore you sent me to. I’ll call you in the morning.”

The author shoved open the door, tossing the key and phone on the dresser. He took off his jacket, dumped it on the couch as he entered the small office space in the large, fancy hotel room. Before he could switch on the light, he heard an abrupt <i>click</i> from the desk. It was followed by the flicker of fire from a lighter. 

The author, confused, turned on the light.

Luke sat on the desk, lighting his cigarette clamped in his beak. He took a drag, held it between his fingers. In his other hand was a copy of the author’s book, opened about a third way through. “So here’s the shit I don’t get,” he said coldly. “Your book is like, 10% about this former child soldier in Uganda, and then the other 90% about telling others how to cope. You, a guy who has never experienced the horrors of war. Where’s this child soldier you spoke about? The boy who actually had to endure all this pain and misery?”

“How did you get in here! The security in this place is… how!” the human seemed rather stunned. 

The duck ignored his outburst, flipping through the book. “Not a word from the guy in here… It's like you’re making money off his trauma. Wow. Does he get any of the residuals off your book sales, because I mean, come on. Or is this some sorta ‘Memories of a Geisha’ bullshit?”

“What is this? I’m calling the police!” the man went back to the table he had left his phone. The grey feathered duck stayed on the desk as he flipped through to read the next page of the book. When the human picked up the phone he saw he had no signal. He tried calling out but just got a defunct noise in the return. He then picked up the hotel phone but it had no ring tone

“Don’t worry man. I’m her to just talk,” Luke called from the other room. The sound of him getting off the desk could be heard, “Comon, we just need to discuss a little situation.”

The author went to leave the hotel room, but the doorknob didn’t work. 

“You know, EMP shit isn’t just stuff for sci fi movies,” the grey duck added as he came to the office doorway, “Man, everything is fucking automated nowadays. Even that silly hotel room lock.” 

“What do you want?” The man glared at the gray duck. The human didn’t seem scared but knew he was in possible danger. 

“Heh, can’t you at least guess? Maybe?” He stood. “I mean, it's not that often you see two alien ducks in one day,” Luke said as he leaned against the office doorway. He took another puff from his cigarette.

“You’re threatening me because I called out that other duck’s publicity stunt?” the author snapped. 

“Alright, first of all, there was no one from ‘our media’ with him,” Luke gave finger quotations as he spoke, cigarette bouncing between a pair, “he came alone and stood in line with all the others. Why couldn’t you just sign his fucking book and let it go?”

“What kind of PTSD trauma do you ducks have? You play hockey, right? You’re celebrities. I don’t see anything about your experiences related to the contents in my book,” the human ranted, more annoyed than anything else.

“Look, you could &lt;;i>technically</i> say that about any of the other ducks around my age born on Earth.,” Luke explained irritably. “But Maestro wasn’t, okay? He came to this planet when he was fourteen. I think he’s only told me about half of the shit he went through before he got to Earth. He really, <i>really</i> liked your book.” He didn’t expect the author to understand, however. “And even though you’re an asshole, obviously, the book helped him a lot. I could tell.”

Luke stood up right, moving closer to the author. The human stood his ground. Completely unempathetic, just as the duck guessed. 

“And what, praytell, did you want me to do about your friend’s problem?” the author demanded, crossing his arms. 

Luke rubbed his own forehead. God, this man was dense. “You wrote a book to help people, and your attitude is like… <i>this</i>?” he sighed. “Look, how about this. Wait a few days, and then send him a signed copy of your book with a nice short note apologizing.”

“And what if I don’t?” the human replied, unfazed. 

“How bad would it look if the advocate against child soldiers was taking blood diamond money this whole time?” Luke threatened, biting down on the cigarette. He took out his phone and opened up a search.

“I’ve done no such thing,” the author grumbled as he loosened the tie from his collar a bit.

“Oh, I can probably find connections in half an hour. If not, I can make a few up, all 100% believable,” Luke stated as he typed on his smartphone, “I might even have it done in fifteen minutes.”

“Impossible. Get out of here now,” the human said sternly, but it also had a slight tone of worry.

“You really want to try me? I’ve already shown that our advanced alien technology just blocked all the electronics in your room. Don’t you think that I could do more?” Luke asked rhetorically.   The other paused and let out a defeated sigh.

“All this because I hurt your friend’s feelings?” the human replied.

“Yep!” Luke could only reply as he gave what could only be described as  a sarcastic ‘buddy buddy’ patting on the back to the author, “I’ll check up on you and make sure you do as I said. Alright?”

“I will,” the author grumbled, reluctantly taking Luke’s threat seriously. Luke was heading away from the author and to the nearby window.

“Then, I’ll catch you later,” Luke replied before opening the window, “and if you breathe a word of this to the cops, I’ll know.”

“Uh.... alright,” the author said unsure as he saw the duck disappear out the window and probably take the fire escape down. Before the human could say anything else he was gone. 

As Luke was walking to the maroon truck he was borrowing he received a text. 

Mae: Where are you at? I just woke up. 

Mae: Not asking because I expect you to come back. 

Mae: Just asking. No rush. 

Luke saw the messages as he got into the maroon pickup. He replied back.

Luke:  I was just picking up your favorite donuts, from that little place across town. 

Mae: Oh geez. You didn’t have to!

Mae: Thank you! <3

Mae: I’m actually hungry for real food now but I’ll eat one on the way to real food or something. Ha.

Luke: Alright. I’ll come pick you up. :)

After he replied he put the phone in the passenger's seat with the box of donuts he really did get before his meeting with the author.

[irkimatsu]

“Slightly mediocre at best” excuse me what now

None of that now! Irk I actively seek out your account for good writing don’t self deprecate

Hey, I said "slightly above mediocre"! I gave myself some credit!

...really am sorry about that little outburst. Not trying to turn this post into a therapy session, but good lord, Gifted Kid Burnout is real. You spend your 20's in a depressed rut, wasting your mind and ruining your body instead of developing marketable skills, and before you know it you're in your 30's and you have bills to pay but no one will hire you because of the giant gap in your resume. It's been... fun. It's so hard for me to be proud of anything I feel I'm good at when the bug in my brain reminds me that I can't use that skill to make a living wage so what's the fucking point. God, fuck capitalism. I'm stressed out, I'm underpaid, I'm afraid that if I do get a better paying job the payoff will be that I'll be even more stressed, and... mmm. Bad!

Thank you so much for reading my stuff, even if I don't write as much as I'd like. Maybe someday my life will be in a stable enough place that I can finally enjoy myself. Maybe someday.

[ikatako38]

Hi

It’s… been a while. It’s long past time for (another) candid update about the future of TPWCH.

TL;DR: While I am grateful for everyone’s patience and understanding, I am very frustrated with myself about my upload schedule. On top of everything else, a recent, very difficult breakup is making it hard for me to find motivation for anything. That being said, I am still slowly working on Chapter #22.5 - 3, and the 2nd Anniversary Art.

Since this time last year, I’ve only uploaded 2/3 of a chapter of the main story. While my readers have been nothing but patient and understanding, for me personally that’s… soul-crushing.

I could speculate on and on about why that is. More irl friendships and relationships to juggle. Classes getting harder. Spending the entire school year giving my all into a relationship I rarely got anything back from. Worsening ADHD symptoms. An awkward class schedule.

I think in some ways, I had less need for the fic, too. I had friends to talk to about my feelings. I felt less lonely. I didn’t need the escape so desperately as I did last year. Or maybe the better reason is that the dark turn of the fic after the end of Part 2 meant that it was no longer a comforting place to escape to. I think that’s a big reason why I leaned so much into happier stories like the End-of-Part-2 Specials and Squidmas Special. While I genuinely consider Part 3 the most interesting part of the fic, the one which from the very beginning I was most excited to write, it’s hard to actively choose to spend so much time in such a dreary place. Especially when I could just mindlessly scroll through TikTok for a few hours instead.

Perhaps I’m being too hard on myself. Realistically, I wrote all of Part 1 and half of Part 2 while I was still a high-school senior with a half day. While of course I knew that college is hard, I just never expected it to be so time-consuming (hashtag gifted-kid burnout lol). Anniversary special and end-of-part-two special took about two months each. Squidmas special was another month. I spent a month on an art trade that was supposed to provide some content I was really excited to share with you all, but the trade never got returned. Those things add up. I can at least take solace in the fact that those who are most invested in the fic can reach me at any time through Tumblr asks and the Discord server (which, by the way, you should join if you haven’t already! Thing is, I haven’t really been receiving anything expressing interest in the fic or upload schedule, so I guess I can only assume I’m not really letting anyone down.

So�� what now?

As if that wasn’t enough fun news, I just went through an extremely difficult breakup. We were very close, but it this person was and is extremely manipulative, so while I certainly feel betrayed, I mostly feel intense guilt and regret. I’m experiencing insomnia like I’ve never experienced before, and although I’m past the crying phase it’s very hard to find the motivation to do anything, especially something like writing that requires concentration without constant stimulation. On the bright side, I can tentatively say I’ve found some new meds that might actually help

I’m still working on the 2nd Anniversary art. I’m still working on Chapter #22 - 3. Just… slowly. On the other hand, I’m indefinitely pausing all crossposting so I can better focus on moving the story forward. I’ve taken down the content schedule; I kind of doubt that anyone is looking at it anyway.

I am eternally grateful for the community that’s built around the fic, and everything that the community has done to support the fic, especially near the beginning. That being said, it’s hard to overstate how discouraging it is to grapple with myself for months to finally get a new piece of the story out, only to be met with… pure silence. I know it’s my own fault for being inconsistent, but it also just kinda makes me wonder whether people are even reading what I write and seeing what I draw. That’s what motivates me, and the reason I post online is in the hopes that I’ll be able to find more motivation to work on my hobbies! Unfortunately right now, I’m stuck in a cycle of less content → less feedback → less content. I was hoping reposting on FFN and Wattpad would help break that cycle, but it just ended up adding more stress and distractions from what I really wanted to work on.

I’m also starting up a secret personal project, which will take up some of my time. I’m not sure it’ll ever be published, but it’ll hopefully help me work through some things that have been going on in my life.

Current Progress

I’ve known since the beginning that the majority of Chapter #22 wasn’t going to be exactly fun for reasons that are probably obvious, but I’m genuinely really excited to share Chapter #22 - 3 with everyone! I think you’ll really like it! It basically becomes a montage of the first few weeks in the Metro, flipping between Eight completing tests, and the memories he recovers. Those memories are going to drop a ton of lore about the Octarian Domes and Eight’s life before the Metro. That also means a couple new side characters will be introduced!

The chapter is currently sitting at around 2100 words, and it’ll likely end up somewhere around 5000. I’ll release another sneak peek next Monday! Beyond that, I can’t guarantee much. It took me almost a whole week just to write this… 🥲

But I’m not giving up hope, and hopefully I can have some more content out to you all soon! Thank you all for being the best reader community I could ask for!