#tumblr am i the asshole—

[helpful-writing-tips]

if you're trying to get into the head of your story's antagonist, try writing an "Am I the Asshole" reddit post from their perspective, explaining their problems and their plans for solving them. Let the voice and logic come through.

[crimeronan]

all right let's do this again. like this post to receive a boop :)

[eddyckeane]

Don't mind me, I'm just getting fucking wrecked by acerbic friends being ride or die for each other, super normal stuff

(Go read System Collapse of the Murderbot Diaries Series)

[burnyourtrains]

Stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art Stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art Stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art Stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art Stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art Stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art Stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art Stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art Stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art Stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art Stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art Stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art Stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art stop stealing art

This means reposting without permission. Feeding into ai. Taking as your own. Not giving credit to the artist. Posting things that aren't yours in the first place. Etc.

This goes for fanart, original pieces from the artist, writing, gifsets - anything someone took the time to make.

Stop stealing art

[the-ineffable-wanderer]

DBH fic writers and readers on AO3 be like.

DON'T KILL ME.... I love love love good Connor fics too. I am very self-aware. His story is excellent and, well, he arguably "becomes" human the most. Give me that sweet, sweet fanfic where he tries to have emotions. It's just kind of funny, isn't it?

Alternative version under the cut.

Looking at you, Reed900 enjoyers (including me). Haha

[probablyintensemuses]

I need advice asap!

Im 21 years old and im a student in college. I work a coffee shop job. My boyfriend is 23 years old and works a full time job as a computer engineer for a company and makes 70k a year if not more. I’m considering breaking up with him, but before why, I’ll elaborate.

Me and my boyfriend live together.

His apartment burned down in late 2022, early 2023. Until he found a place he stayed with me and my family. When he got his place he asked me to move in on a few conditions: id cook and clean.

We have a dog. I handle most of everything for the dog except for maybe walking and play.

My boyfriend and I had a huge fight months ago, nearly a year ago, because when I wasn’t there, I was hanging with friends, he broke into my laptop and searched my messages and found old sexual messages between me and this girl and accused me of cheating. Yet he never broke up with me.

He hardly ever speaks to me and makes it seem like I’m an annoyance.

He doesn’t respect my boundaries and always pushes me

Now he wants me to quit my job and get a serving job so I can pay half the rent as well as my other expenses.

He wanted to visit his parent in Florida and drive using my car. Dealership said my wheels weren’t good and I needed them all replaced. He paid for it and told me I had to pay him back even thought I never asked. He drove my car down there and doesn’t pay shit on it! And is trying to do it again, but I said no this time.

He hardly interacts with my family.

He doesn’t help me financially but expects me to help him. The most she’s bought me is a few books and stuff. When I bought him a 1.2k dollar amp for his college graduation and I was broke, that came out my savings and it burnt in the fire.

I constantly bend over backwards for him and get hardly anything in return. I think our relationship has run its course I just have no idea what to do.

I just need advice I feel so stuck and stupid. Can anyone help me? Mg parents keep telling Me to come back home and finish school, save my money. But idk I’m afraid he’ll expose my sexuality to them cuz he said he would.

Two last things, this is more recent, my boyfriend is supposed to be going to Florida in a few days and I can’t afford to come —context it’s his brothers engagement party—I already expressed this. Not I mention it would be out 3rd anniversary while he is down there and he hasn’t said shit about it. Also instead of helping me he just sends me screenshots of flight costs and shit.

Another thing happened the other night. I got kind of drunk and was sitting on the couch. I wanted to talk to him and was begging for him to come talk to me and sit with me. And he got so annoyed and said he was tired and walked away and kept ignoring me even though I was calling for him. But had energy to play on the video game and laugh with friends and play with our dog not even an hour earlier. His response when i called him on that?

“I worked ten hours today. You didnt.”

Am I the asshole, what should I do?

[stinkrascal]

i have no problem answering wcifs but if you're gonna send me mean msgs in my ask box bc im taking too long to answer your wcif wherein you ask for the links of 18 separate outfits, thats not gonna make me "work faster" or whatever. i will simply not answer your wcif at all <3 i hope this helps!!

[royaltrashkin]

AITA for asking my friend for a melon daiquiri after he asked me over to hang out with him and his wife??? TL;DR at end.

For reference, we are all in our early 30s and I introduced them to each other. I get a message from my old college friend I haven't seen in years, asking if I can come catch up with him and his wife for their tenth anniversary.

So I show up when I was asked, and I can hear them arguing about me being there through the door. I didn't hear the whole conversation obviously but it sounded like his wife thought I was going to be there later. Even after I knock and get invited in, when my friend goes to get his wife from down the hall I can hear them whisper arguing all the way to the living room. So maybe I was just there at a bad time and this is a big misunderstanding because honestly I'm very confused about this whole situation. I could feel the tension between them immediately, I felt so awkward greeting both of them because I'm not sure if they know I overheard them arguing specifically about me being there. I think they must've felt super awkward too because about thirty seconds in, I have literally just asked how they're doing and they didn't even really answer just kinda avoided the question, he suggests that he make us all fancy drinks. And I'm like yeah sure and he's way too excited to go make us something, and his wife is kinda annoyed about this, like she rolls her eyes and tells me that no, I want something simple like a chardonnay. (I as in me. As in, she is telling me what I, not her, want.) She sounds really angry about him wanting to make something cool and insistent that I want something simple. So I feel like this is where I screwed up. I have literally said nothing except "how are you doing" and "yeah sure" at this point so again I genuinely feel like I can't have done anything wrong beyond simply being there because it's just so awkward and tension filled. I cannot stress enough how intense the vibe in there was, so maybe they do know I overheard them argue? I only overheard about ten seconds really, but maybe they think I heard more. I don't know. Anyway so because he seems so excited to make something fancy, I told him "I'd like a melon daiquiri." And he just. Immediately. I mean IMMEDIATELY kicked me out of his house. He literally flipped like a switch from excited and eager to snapping at me that he's had enough and I need to leave. I thought he was joking so I just kinda stood there staring at him but he physically grabbed my arm and led me to the door. I didn't fight him or try to stay put or anything, i allowed him to lead me out his door, but that's just how fast it happened. He immediately told me to leave and grabbed me and led me away, i mean i stood in shock maybe one full second. I was eight feet from his door at the time. I was in their apartment two minutes tops? Seriously. Two minutes. I said maybe fifteen words. I don't know if the polite thing to do was to just leave and not bother knocking once I heard them arguing, or maybe should have told them? Maybe showing up exactly on time was too clingy? Should I have taken his wife's advice and had the chardonnay? Was my choice too fancy? Should I have asked what he had available? Should I have turned down his offer entirely? People don't just kick people out for no reason, so I must have screwed up somewhere. It's been a few hours since then and I'm still baffled.

TL;DR: I got kicked out of my friends' apartment after he offered to make a fancy drink and I asked for a melon daiquiri.

[aita-polls]

AITAH for telling my ex's mom I didn't marry her son because they were 'trashy' and 'poor'?

I (25f) come from an upper-middle-class Indian family. In our community, class and status matter a lot, and not marrying into your class or up often means you get disowned. I know it's regressive, but I have never dated anyone without telling them first hand and I have always known what background they came from so that I wouldn't get shamed in our community and neither would my parents. It's a norm, and one of the few I follow, because I can't put any more stress into my elderly parent's lives.

My ex and I broke up last year. We both studied in the same Uni abroad for our Master's and both of us stayed behind in the country. Being from the same community, we bonded over both of us speaking our mother tongue. I told him, the moment he asked me out, that I date to marry, and I would never marry someone my parents wouldn't approve of. I don't care if I sound conservative, I won't. They work very hard to give me a life of privilege and I won't make it hard for them. He reassured me of his family background and the idiot I was trusted him and didn't check. We lived separately anyway, and he was on scholarships and jobs like many of our friends, so I never bothered thinking otherwise. A year into dating he proposes marriage. I told him I wouldn't marry without travelling first. Plus I was thinking of going back to school for a second degree. Then he gaslights me on how I can live my life being married and doing all these things. My friends back home, to whom I told all this, ran a background check, and because we were from the same city, his lies came out.

Truthfully, he came from a family I could never marry into. Not only that, even though my family's conditions were to marry within our economic class, no matter what race or caste, his family came from a place where the veil for women (purdah), not working, and horrible living conditions were prevalent. He lied about his parents being government workers, only one of them had a high school diploma, and in India, it is considered a very bad thing. I confronted him, and we had a massive fight. He told me he would never even look in his family's direction again if I married him, and I was disgusted. I broke up with him, and he harassed me for months. He only stopped when my cousin went to his flat to talk to him, and I don't know what they talked about, but he stopped calling and texting me.

Only, yesterday I got a call from his mother (I'm back in India to celebrate festivals with my family), and she started to cry and tell me that her son blames them for me leaving him. I asked her where she got my number from and she said that he gave it to her. I was pissed, so I asked her to leave me alone, and she started to scream at me and call me names and asked me why wasn't her son enough, and why was marrying into a poor family so bad. So I told her that both she and her son were trashy and I wasn't going to suffer them, that them being poor was not my fault, and to never contact me again. She cried and cursed me.

I don't know, I feel bad, because maybe my ex hurt his mother and she was just mad and took it out on me. AITAH?

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

never fails to baffle me when people reblog a post about something they don’t like simply to add a snarky comment, rather than just…..not reblogging the thing they don’t like ????

[s0ckh3adstudios]

Can I just say the reception to episode 2 of The Amazing Digital Circus has been absurd and NOT in a good way.

[jrwi-aita]

Hi, is this mic on? Okay. So. I have a confession to make. I may or may not have created a "sex cult" and. Well. How do I put this. Okay, so I know this will sound bad but I promise that in context this will make sense.

So there is this beautiful absolutely amazing man (let's just call him S) and he has been tormented by an unwelcome visitor (E) for a while now. E is incredibly rude, selfish, and hurts everyone around it at any opportunity it gets. I want you to picture, honestly, just the worst person you've ever met but then imagine they're a literal celestial blight on top of that. Awful! He makes my blood boil, and it hurts S the most out of everyone for no reason! S is kind and loving and I would do anything for S, ANYTHING, which leads me to my confession.

So. Maybe. After S and I had a night of passion together, let's say, I was confronting E. And maybe, MAYBE I had the thought that I could convince E to have a change of faith? So I may or may not have maybe also had sex, hypothetically, with E. Maybe. Technically. It could be described that way. Not really, but for the sake of the story I'm sure you can picture a scenario in which I just wanted to look after my beloved S and doing it with E was just my way of trying to protect him! By changing E for the better, in my own way, by converting him.

Does that make me an asshole? I do feel really bad about it but I also think that now we've settled our differences, everything is going to be smooth sailing from here. S doesn't know about this and I don't think I plan on telling him what happened, or even really talking about it ever again. At the least, it's not so bad if nobody finds out about it, right?

I just want to put it on the record that it sucked by the way. Not to be a hater but, E, if you're reading this, get it together man.

[maysblogg]

[sunflowersandroses-blog]

If you and your partner had a pet that was previously owned by one of your exes, but there's lots of drama surrounding that past. Would you reach out to that person when the pet passes to inform or offer paw prints? Or is that no longer something to inform them on. (See below for more info)

For further context, the ex grew up with the pet and left him when they moved. The pet is declining, and I don't believe he will be around for more than a year. My heart feels bad if I don't reach out as i would want to know. But there's so much drama in the past I don't want to open the door for more again. I feel like there's no right answer either way. I'm somehow going to get bit in the ass 🙃

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for asking for a DNA test when my wife's baby was born?

I was married to my wife for 3 years, and she was pregnant with a baby. The thing is, I didn't know if the baby was mine because she would go and meet with her ex every few weeks. So when the baby was born, I asked for a DNA test. I didn't want to put my name on the birth certificate if the baby wasn't mine.

My wife started sobbing and saying I didn't trust her if I was asking for a DNA test. She refused to let it happen, but I insisted on it. So she said she was filing for a divorce because it was clear I did not trust her. She told all our friends, her parents, and my parents about what happened. And now every is angry at me and insisting that I pay at least $2000 in child support and give her at least $100k in divorce settlements. I refuse to do that. I got the DNA test done and the baby turns out not to be mine. Luckily, I had not put my name on the birth certificate, so I don't have to pay her child support.

However, friends and family are insisting that I should do it and that I am obligated to help her. They say if I don't, I would be an asshole who is leaving a woman and her newborn child to starve.

AITA?

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.