halfte-dice

[sporadically-writing]

Diego: You fuckers don't know about my knife stick. It's a knife taped to a stick and it's the ultimate weapon.

Ripley, not looking up from her gadgets: Spear.

Diego: BLOCKED.

The rest of the Brellas: *wheezing in the background*

[momokodaisy]

Extremely Late Umbrella Academy Textposts That Have Definitely-- Actually No More Self Depreciation, These Are Super Original (17/?) prev

+ Bonus

[radiumjuice]

I AM AN AROACE FIVE HARGREEVES TRUTHER!!!!

source: me

aroace and full of love 💥💥💥💥 thanks for repping the community king

[avnasace]

i do find it incredibly funny that in season 4 ben noticeably eyes the marigold bottle, takes the marigold bottle, disappears with said marigold bottle and then reappears with a round of glowing(!!!) drinks, yet the writers still decided that it wasnt obvious enough to us as the audience, and then made sure to verbally tell us that ben spiked the drinks with marigold. then they turn to klaus wondering why he is still normal, and then feel like they have to again verbally explain to us "ohhh you're sober!! thats why!!" when it was so clearly obvious.

but then they rushed everything else and left fifty thousand plotholes behind...

[emlynphoenix]

We now understand why Rob told us to go in with no expectations...

WTF was season 4??? (if you like it, I'm not hating on you-just my opinion)

Both Aidan and Ritu thought they were joking about the kiss until it was time to shoot and realized they weren't.

Ritu has known Aidan since he was 14/15 and they had to have a make out scene and implied sex. It's messed up on so many levels. This was planned and Steve was just waiting for Aidan to be legal. I'm honestly disgusted. He wanted to sexualize someone he's known since he was 13!!!! I just want to emphasize it. Every cast member tried to protest it, especially David.

David hated that they wanted to ruin the characters, which they did successfully.

Five stated he did anything to get back to his family (not direct quote). He and Diego had a tight bond, and suddenly his family didn't matter. Lila may have said she needed a break and something for herself doesn't mean she was going to cheat with her brother.

The writers must have forgotten about the show, forgotten about the bracelet Diego made was important to Lila. "I choose you"

Lila and Diego had 3 kids together, married, and she thought it was a great idea to cheat with HIS BROTHER!!!!! I understand they were stuck together for 7 years-needing comfort they looked to each other. That does not excuse their behavior.

I do not claim season 4 Five and Lila.

Season 4 was a disappointment to me. At least we still had Klaus being Klaus and Viktor. (I will always love Viktor)

[brionysea]

number five, an asexual with teleportation powers and a habit of disappearing off the face of the earth without warning: i don't fuck, i just fuck off.

[stargazingbitch]

"five had to have a love story" is an insane thing to say when you're talking about a character who sacrificed everything and the world to save his family (the people he loved the most).

Like idk if u noticed man but that's the whole plot of your show, that's five's great love story but i guess it's never enough to have platonic love as the center of a story is it?

[surfthestardust]

Umbrella Academy characters as “bury your gays” style tropes except they’re not tropes, I made them up

Luther: apeify your straights

Diego (and Lila): institutionalize your bisexuals

Allison: deprive your straights of their loved ones

Klaus: resurrect your gays

Five: torture your aces with yet another apocalypse

Ben: bury your straights

Viktor: give your trans people unfathomable power

[bbqhooligan]

ngl im GIDDY about the way Five cant be shipped. HES FOR THE ACEAROS. not only is there no canon possibility with the only characters being his siblings and their romantic interests, HES IMPOSSIBLE TO SELF INSERT TO LMAO. is he in love with a teenager? CANT. is he in love with a wonderful mature woman? cool, THAT WOMAN CANT BE ETHICALLY INTERESTED IN HIM BACK. there IS an unethically interested woman who DID know him as an adult man briefly but sadly shes a dommy mommy authority figure and Five is barely holding himself from biting her entire head off at any given moment. lovely. its just him and his insanity and his imaginary wife. literally me

[highlyincorrect]

Luther: Let me get this straight-

Diego: More like let me run this bi you

Klaus: Let’s just see how this pans out

Five: We should ace-cess the situation

Dave: I’m gay

[trash-panda-writes-stuff]

Five hargreeves is asexual and that is the hill I will die on.

Fight me (ง'̀-'́)ง

[elder-sister]

UPDATED ART REQUEST SHEET!

Updates come when needed

Reblogged biweekly as a reminder (Will also say whether requests are open or not during the next 2 weeks/until the next reblogs)

Requests go in the ask box and the ask box ONLY.

Fandoms I will do are as follows:

EarthBound/MOTHER Series

Papa Louie

Columbo

The Umbrella Academy

Pokemon

Dungeon Meshi/Delicious in Dungeon

Ace Attorney

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Vocaloid

Project Sekai

Trapped in an Epic Tale/TiaET

That's Not My Neighbor

Puyo Puyo/Madou Monogatari

A Tale of Two Gay Attorneys/ATA

Translated For Your Convenience/ATA Prequel(?)

Blackadder

The Princess Bride

I will do OCs and AUs with refs, same with fandoms not on my list

I WILL NOT do:

NSFW

Proship stuff

Anything hateful

Anything related to real world problems to avoid discourse. ABSOLUTELY ZERO exceptions to this.

Exceptions to all but the last one are when they're satirical or a joke.

Don't like what I drew? Either constructive criticism or, idk, don't fucking interact? Scroll and move on.

Don't be afraid to comment, and don't take anything personally!

Examples under the cut!

[momokodaisy]

Extremely Late Umbrella Academy Textposts That Have Definitely Been Done Before (11/?) prev | next

Bonus:

[person25]

I have to pretend like i don’t headcanon 70% of characters as aro/ace😔

[avnasace]

season 1: klaus says something along the lines of "i know you didnt want to die such a violent death"

season 3: (ep7) klaus: "ben died during the jennifer incident"

so we can assume that klaus really did know how ben died then?

[elnotwoods]

After years of starving they truly served us a plate of hot turd.