#trying to optimize my posting time
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Selling my art as a teenager really killed my passion for it. I don't want to draw anymore because it feels like work.
#worrying about metrics and exposure also ruined my love of it#i cant draw anymore without thinking about posting it to tumblr and then worrying about if people will even see it#trying to optimize my posting time#i have tried.. for 4 years.#nothing has brought my passion or love for drawing back.#if youre a teenager#do NOT try to monotize ur hobbies#it kills them almost every time#you cant live off commission money it is so much work especially for someone with such little experience#you have to manage EVERYTHING#its not just drawing you have to do customer service you have to advertise you have to manage multiple projects#all while trying not to burn out#dude it sucks..#i will never get that passion back.#i will never love drawing as much as i did when i was 16
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... I have a lot of thoughts about Draxum.
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#art#my art#tmnt#my post#alt text#baron draxum#draxum#comic#my comic#does this count as a comic?#it's really more of a monologue with drawings#half of which are scenes from the show#idk#I had this little monologue or whatever you'd call it written up in the notes app of my phone for like six months now#figured I might as well try and do something with it#is this a bad time to post this given that the new comic just came out today?#maybe#oh well#I never post things at the optimal time anyways
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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Spirit animal SQH
#svsss#shang qinghua#but mainly I'm just here to vague post LMAO I don't like to vague post its not very effective in terms of venting but#but basically I guess I'm becoming hyperaware of my like... cognitive dissonance codependency and derealization ee#also my general laziness ig and where it overlaps into executive dysfunction or whatever like I may genuinely have some issues but#I am also a lazy son of a bitch jfjfkgkg and i need to figure out how to figure it out so I can work on both in more effective ways hhggg#oh yeah but basically the thing to remember for later is the silence in the call and the immediate unmute and chat activity once I left#I should remember this and stop interacting I think? I should try to give em space I think I'm being too clingy or something#or maybe my own silence is too awkward and dampens the call? I was kinda just spacing out and not doing anything so I get its kinda weird#LMAO so I should just like try not to be in call for those times mm#I just like being in call with my friends jdhfkg but I suppose its not very good either#I overindulge I suppose another friend pointed it out to me before too haha but fjfjjt its just easier than facing bouts of dread by myself#eehh and that's why I gotta do something about my Metnal Ailneses hfjfj but ngl I don't really know how to go about it...#I get embarrassed looking stuff up djfnfkg and half the time I don't even know what to look up I just draw ?s and I give up#I suppose I also have commitment issues too but that ones not new which is an issue of itself aaaaaaaa#man idk idk I just don't really get it I guess djdjfjf and I've got existential dreads and think maybe it doesn't really matter whats wrong#cause there's no point to fixing them because ultimately I'm gonna die alone and a failure anyways? so like ehfjgkg idk#its depressing and I know its like sabotage cause my brain is being a little silly a little goofy and its not a shared sentiment#with the better half of me and the entirety of my friends but yknow its just ee harder sometimes to believe in the optimism ig#and i can talk about it somewhat normally and without like having a ✨️break down#but yknow djfjgkg I'm very emotional a person ya? I think sqh is relatable for gods sake 💀#irrationality sentimentality nihilism and existential dreads... wanting to die because living is too hard despite all my hopes for living...#just the ol regulars yknow?#and another thing... do I talk to my friends about these things? I vent them out here a lot but what do I really want?#I'm not strong enough to keep it to myself clearly but I'm also too proud to share these thoughts? I dump them out in the open and for what?#whenever someone reaches out with concern and care I don't respond in kind and refuse to elaborate?#so like what do I want with this? I guess I want someone to know I'm going insane half the time I'm awake? but not do anything about it?#that's pretty unfair I guess... and stupid I think I do want to share my thoughts with someone but I'm too scared of the ramifications#and that my pride can't stand the fact I might be looked differently by my friends even tho the image they have of me is already quite silly#man.... idk.... I'll come to conclusions myself and do nothing about them so I guess that'll happen again aah idk idk idk
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I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been born a frog. I should have been
#us elections#us politics#election 2024#i talked to an older friend today and he helped a lot#being with people helps#reminding myself that people care helps#47.5% of people in the usa care#which is a minority but at least it's close enough of a minority to a coin flip that i can always find good people#i am trying to be positive and not live out these last two months of peace in despair#being alone hurts more and i spent too much time today doomscrolling but i need some time to prepare for what i might see in the future#i do not want to make plans i do not want to make plans i should not NEED TO HAVE PLANS FOR A PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION#when i was 15 i had a whole plan for a novel i wanted to write. it was a whole carpe diem/memento mori about living life before it's over#it was going to be a good book. but now i'm not sure i believe in what i am saying enough to write it.#and i am not sure if it would be what the world needs.#but it would have been a good book. it would have been an amazing book and i didn't want to start because i didn't know how#and i wanted to wait until i had more writing and life experience to do it justice#and now i just don't have the OPTIMISM to do it justice and now it may never be written#moral of the story is write the thing NOW edit later make the thing now while you are still passionate about it existing#contrary to the contents of this post i am actually doing much better than i was this morning.#today an irl friend held my hand as i cried under a couch and an online friend reached out to make sure i am okay and i am not alone.#a lot of it is cold comfort. but at least i am regaining some faith in humanity. not all of it. i will never again have all of it.#but i will have enough.#i am a little more afraid of dying young than i was this morning and that is good. that is good.#i am not the only one who has lived through a historical event.#i will do a lot more tiredposting in the near future#especially as inauguration day comes up#but for now in the tags i feel at least a little better.#seraph rambles#seraph originals#side note: the content of the actual post is reminding me of otherkin back in like the 2010s lol remember when that was a thing on tumblr
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my revamped au for achille has become canon and I must apologize in advance for the suffering he must go through
#his smile and optimism. Gone#not even he can escape my trauma beam#i'm still working out some things wrt his new lore & timeline jumping shenanigans but oughghh#tfw you fail your duty of being hydaelyn's champion and caused the deaths of millions#only to try and go back in time to change the outcome at least 6 times#also i changed the reason for him dyeing his hair. he did it in HW to hide his identity#ngl this is awkward now because of my dt benchmark post earlier this morning. i'm undecided on changing his face#on one hand he looks great in the current engine. on the other hand he looks off in the upcoming one (at least under the cc lighting)#*head in my hands*#mygposes.#ffxivsnaps#gposers#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv oc#hyur
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#an entire week feels a bit too much but i have to confess: i don't understand time zones enough to try and find an optimal posting time#dragging the dwarven protagonists kicking and screaming into caring about something so deeply they'll put it over their own survival#dragon age#dragon age origins#dragon age inquisition#aeducan#dwarf noble origin#brosca#dwarf commoner origin#cadash#inquisitor cadash#my posts#polls
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i find very cool how you're dating the writer of the comic you were (still are) swooning over
it's literally so fucking funny. you guys cannot even comprehend all the reasons why this is the funniest shit ever
#mail#Anonymous#we only started actually talking to one another outside of tagging each other's posts#after i sent some example work in to the paradox space^2 server#and vicki was so excited to see me there and i was like. shocked#and then we were just insane about homestuck at each other for like 8 months#the whole time trying to avoid admitting how much we thought about each other like it was some fucking game to us#i blinked first when i subtweeted her by comparing sending a project file to gay sex in terms of raw intimacy involved#right after sending her a .fla so she could check to see how to optimize it better. which was maybe not my most tactical stroke yet#but apparently she found it extremely endearing of me. i did not sleep that entire night we were talking so long#i had a plane to catch in the morning and i did not give a shit. we were fucking living#a single barrier came down and that's all it took for us to realize. oh fuck. hey. we're both in love with each other huh#that was like over a month ago now. it is so truly special to me#you guys haven't even seen the most of it we could literally be making a spectacle of this shit were we not so merciful
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I've got too many games I want to play and not enough free time 😭 I still need to finish my BG3 playthrough but since Endless Ocean: Luminous came out I've been playing a lot of that instead. Also just got back into Wizard101 last night. Started playing House Flipper again last weekend. Still need to finish BOTW so I can start a TOTK playthrough and finish Pokemon Shield so I can start on Pokemon Violet. I've been fighting off the urge to start up a new Skyrim playthrough for weeks. My brother just told me that Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door is getting ported to the Switch. And now I'm suddenly feeling inspired to replay DAI... And throughout all of this I'm also playing the hell out of DragonVale on my phone. Someone just pay me to play video games all day please
#and before anyone suggests it: no i cant try to get into streaming#the way i play video games is extremely frustrating for other people to watch ahdjsksl#no one is going to give me money for producing a video where i spend two hours checking every barrel in the map while juggling my inventory#and then immediately give up on a puzzle and just sit in silence for 30 minutes while i look up a walkthrough instead#i need a situation that pays me $200 a day just to be autistic at the screen alone in the comfort of my own home#rambling#a few years ago i made it a mission to play all of the dragon age games and dlcs in order and i did not complete it#i got all the way to inquisition before i quit#i had already played it on ps3 but i wanted to replay on my new gaming laptop and unfortunately my computer decided it was too complicated#and also i just wanted to play as an elf again and i was resisting that urge bc i played as an elf the first time and wanted something new#so i didnt connect to my character as much#BUT ive learned a lot about optimizing my games from getting bg3 to run on my computer#so i think i could get it to handle dai now. especially if i upgrade to ssd like ive been wanting#and i just saw a dai post on my dash that made me daydream about possible characters and i was struck with inspiration#when i first played through on ps3 i didnt know anything about da lore. it was my first dragon age game#i was just doing whatever i thought seemed coolest#so i basically modeled my inquisitor after my dnd oc and then just picked a vallaslin i thought was pretty#and then when it came time to pick a specialization i was just like 'i mean my hand has rift magic right? seems obvious enough'#but now i know the LORE. and the dalish really interest me. and i want to make an inquisitor thats their own character#i didnt want to replay another elf mage bc i thought it would be too similar#but at the same time i wanted to re-experience dai (and experience trespasser for the first time) now that i knew more about the dalish#(with mods that fix the annoying bits where your character seems to not know about their own religion of course lol...)#i was thinking about that and i just got hit with some inspiration#instead of 'my dnd character but with a cool tattoo and rift magic and they kinda roll with the inquisitor stuff bc idk whats going on'#what if i made a more intentional character with a much different personality and their own backstory#theyre still the first of their clan but i know what that means now so theyre not really into the herald of andraste stuff#theyre a devotee of falon'din with his vallaslin and fittingly choose necromancy specialization (tho theyre annoyed by all the maker talk)#they can look cool and goth and maybe they even make some different choices about the well of sorrows 👀#i could keep rambling but im running out of tags gah#anyways ive got lots of ideas now and i think the playthrough would be unique enough to be worth it
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hey guys, i just wanted to thank everyone so so so much for all the support i received yesterday. waking up this morning was literally overwhelming with how many kind people chose to help me out and i'm eternally grateful. having two more weeks of security in the place i'm staying is literally. a lifesaver and i can't thank you all enough <3
in some hopefully cool news we are fast approaching 2000 followers! i mentioned it a little in the tags of my last post but i've been making tentative plans for ideas on what to do as a celebration... i Had been thinking about doing a side game and submitting it to the orifice game jam (the theme is. very appropriate for this game after all XD) but apparently game jam entries get uploaded by other people to a kind of database where despite it being an unranked jam everyone is pretty critical with their ratings and that's not really my vibe for a silly side-game that assumes some familiarity with the characters already for a follower celebration i guess.
so i suppose i'll just have to make an orifice-themed side game outside of the jam LMAO 😏
i have a decent idea of what i want to do with it... now that i'm not doing the game jam i might expand it just a Leetol cos i'd like to finally use polls on here and maybe give you guys some things to vote on about it lmfao. but we'll see how it goes! thank you all again <3
#posts from the mortal world#also i have to say the idea of my game. being uploaded to a database without my knowledge/permission is uh. Scary?#please don't database my games sir...#also i'm not entirely sure why the site even accepts submissions that aren't from the owners of the works?? that feels Odd??? but anyway#i don't know exactly how Many orifices will be involved i haven't decided that yet LMAO. but certainly. An Amount...#which is to say i don't know how Raunchy it will be. time concerns and so forth. but we'll see!!#i am trying this optimism thing out to see how it goes
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tagged by my girl alice @transfemininomenon!
last song: Black Betty, but the caravan palace cover
currently reading: :( I haven't done much non-academic reading in a hot minute unfortunately which means my answer is thoroughly meh: Forensic Accounting and Fraud Examination, 2nd ed.
currently watching: oh man tagging me in this post is just a trap to expose me for being boring, clearly. as some of you already know I hardly ever watch shows, so the closest thing I have to an answer is that I've been watching NBA summer league games because I have no better basketball to watch right now. OR my parents have been binging Monk lately and I occasionally catch bits of episodes if I happen to be eating when they start watching
currently craving: actually just had some chocolate covered raisins like five minutes ago so not craving anything all that much rn! also if I think too hard about this I WILL start craving something else which would be bad so I'll leave it there
coffee or tea: oh my god this one really was designed to make me specifically have the most boring possible answers.. I don't drink either of them, mostly on account of my adhd but also I don't feel particularly drawn to them even putting that aside. my mom has a coffee problem though so I will say coffee as a show of solidarity, but really it's neither
standard disclaimer that you are free to completely ignore this if you don't feel like briefly reliving the mid-2010s via this post, but I'll tag @raeii @loz @fieldlands @firedell @hungwy @poguniversity @legofrans @ingleaisle @romcommunist and @captoring! and also any friends and mutuals bored on a tuesday morning (timezones do not interact) that want to do this, just assume I tagged you too
#i think tagging 10 people is already taking up a decent amt of space so i stopped there to not just tag like. everyone ykwim#but MENTALLY i tagged all of you. if you wanted to be tagged. im not the boss of you#anyway thank you alice my friend alice ily#also this wasnt in the post already but i would have added currently playing: unicorn overlord (still)#i'm pretty much at endgame but uh. clocking in at a little under 200 hours for my first playthrough.#dont look at me like that i indecisively fiddle around in menus for hours at a time trying to pick who gets what gear and optimizing tactics#i will probably take a break and play something else before i come back to do a True Zenoiran playthrough though
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#vent post#ok to rb without screenshotting the tags but idk why you'd do that anyways#I'm once again wishing every fellow adult living with their parents a very 'I'm sorry o7'#mom's getting on my case about 'not wanting to be part of the family'#but if dinners are always silent and uncomfortable with all of us not talking then I think it's normal for me to leave the table#when I'm done eating. it's not 'not wanting to be part of the family' it's just not wanting to be somewhere awkward as hell lmfao#like oh okay sorry let me sit here for another fifteen minutes silently bc y'all ignore every conversation I try to start. jesus christ.#goddddddddddddddddddd fuck the housing market lmao#I love my family but I'd like them a hell of a lot more if I didn't live here#a little distance does wonders#anywaysssss sending love to everyone else who is perpetually stuck at home. esp oldest siblings and ill folk 🤝#we'll get out eventually#no more silent dinners and people who find your optimism and attempts to lighten the mood to be juvenile#stay miserable and pragmatic and 'realist'. no joy or whimsy. fucking whatever. I'm not sinking down to cynicism.#what's the opposite of being the moody black sheep of the family lmao. I'm the only one who seems to enjoy being unserious#ok. vent over but fr anyone else stuck at home when they don't want to be: i love you and we'll figure it out in time. things WILL work out#delete later???
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Chapter 14: What's to Come
Alone in their bed, Cullen and Theresa speak of things to come.
“You’re not broken,” he says, gazing up at her with unbridled adoration and conviction.�� She gives a bitter laugh. “Aren’t I? I dissolved the Inquisition, but can’t fully let it die. This upcoming coalition is proof of that. No matter how I try, I can’t seem to let go.” “It’s the red lyrium that’s refusing to let go. I think the coalition is more than warranted, and a brilliant response.” “You’re flattering.” “Come now, we both know I’m far too earnest for believable flattery. You’re changing the subject again.” A smirk pulls at her mouth. “You’re right – you are far too earnest for your own good. It’s a family trait.” He grins and rolls onto his back, pillowing his hands behind his head. “I don’t know if I should hope or dread that as something our child could inherit.” “Better that than my duplicity.” There’s a hint of bitterness to her tone, though her smirk hasn’t fallen a jot. He frowns. Where’s this coming from? “You’re clever – far cleverer than me. You’ve seen ways around problems I couldn’t imagine if I tried.” “Most of that’s through reckless experimentation. You’re far more careful.” Maker, she’s stubborn . “I think you mean paranoid. I can’t even enter a building without analysing it for escape routes.” “I approach every conversation as if it’s a negotiation or a recruitment opportunity.” “Are we competing?” He gently admonishes her with a raised eyebrow. “If we are, I’m winning.” He laughs, a full-throated cackle that starts in his belly. Hearing her follow suit sends his heart soaring, and he rolls over to kiss her still-smiling lips. Then he rests his forehead against hers with a soft sigh. “Let’s face it, we’ve never been good at normal , you and I.”
DAFF tag list: @rakshadow, @rosella-writes, @effelants, @bluewren, @breninarthur, @ar-lath-ma-cully, @dreadfutures, @ir0n-angel, @inquisimer, @crackinglamb, @theluckywizard, @nirikeehan, @oxygenforthewicked, @exalted-dawn-drabbles, @melisusthewee, @blarrghe, @agentkatie, @delicatefade, @leggywillow, @about2dance
#my writing#the black city#while time remains#theresa trevelyan#cullen rutherford#theresa x cullen#dreams of the future#and also fears#these two are terrible at optimism#but they try#post-trespasser#cullen x trevelyan
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regularly wonder if it's worth posting on weekends in this fandom or not and at what hours
#li.txt#like when are u people online#when I share my art I want my 2.5 followers to see it#and Im used to like. wednesday midnight as good posting time because my other blog has lotsa westerners following#trying to optimize my posting time like I did back when I had a comic coming out twice a week lmao
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Big buncha Mario Characters in my style + Headcanons
#Emile's Arts#Mario Fanart#PLEASE click for better quality the Koopaling line up I'm insane about it#I had to put all my Koopaling thoughts down somewhere for me personally#This started as I should have an easier way to access Mario and Luigi's color pallet#And then I just. Kept putting off coloring fdgjfdkg#I HATE coloring HATE IT I'm SO BAD will color pallets fkgjkdfjkg#I tried I TRIED I gave a very genuine try to Bowser at first#My boyfriend has the only record of that attempt because I deleted it yesterday out of frustration#I will forever draw him just a Box of a guy I'm sorry#I WANTED to give him thick thighs and the tumby but it wasn't working out he's not made to have a knee#I'm really struggling with legs again recently I'm just not doing them#I still feel like Peach is too mono color with the pastel pink but idk how to fix it so#We live like this I suppose#It's almost 4am#There's an optimal time to post your art to get engagement and this is not it chief#but I don't CARE this was a three day endeavor#I kept trying to think of more characters to add#but it always circled back around to Paper Mario characters#So I decided to call it quits with Vivian and Peasley#HOT TAKE#Peasley and Vivian are the Same Character Type#And I think they'd get along#This is unrelated to anything I was just thinking that as I struggled to draw Vivian for 40 minutes#Anyway#I dunno how much more Mario I'll post on the main I am still thinking about Gooigi my baby girl#We'll see#Now then off to bed to comatose till next Monday#Seeyas
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crazy to think at the beginning of this year i had 0 idea what a productive writing process should look like, and every time i tried to write it felt insanely hard. like writing 200 words in a day felt like a major accomplishment, and i had never even managed to complete One full scene before.
but now!! i actually have some of my writing posted! and i have a bunch of wips that feel like theyre actually possible for me to complete 100%! idk, its just that, even tho i dont have much to show for it rn, im feeling proud of myself and i got the urge to share.
lets gooo 💪!! hopefully ill have more to show you guys soon!!
#also want to say that I NEVER EVEN READ 🌽 ON AO3. I RARELY TRY TO WRITE IT. IM JUST NOT THAT INTERESTED.#and yet. 🌽 is THE ONLY THING i have posted on my page 😭#Bona Fides was my breakthrough work cause it was the first time i was writing something that didnt feel like it needed to be Perfect#so.... anyway all im saying is im really excited about getting more writing done. for Two(2) reasons#cause loid forger getting railed cant be the only thing i have to show for all my effort forever 😭 cmon#writing#ao3#fanfic#writers on tumblr#writer problems#optimism#progress post
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