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I've mentioned I usually play characters that don't have the greatest relationship with Alistair (not in a haterism way I just like playing jackasses) but I kind of want to know how a dynamic between him and an Aeducan who takes him under their wing when he reveals his parentage would end up looking like. ESPECIALLY if they go about it in all the wrong ways (aka as an Orzammar noble) like. Alistair, my friend, listen to me. Duncan didn't steal you away from a life serving under the Templars out of pity. He saw something in you. He saw a man who was willing to put his well-being aside for the greater good. And perhaps this will include taking your place on the throne, like your father before you. But I swear to you, you won't have to do this alone. And, hey, all things considered Loghain did you a solid back at Ostagar if you've ever felt squeamish about killing your own bro- oh, uhm. Wyn- WYNNE. HE'S BAWLING AGAIN

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The Inquisitor: Lace?

Harding: Yes, my friend?

The Inquisitor: did Varric tell anyone about my crush on you?

Harding: I'm so sorry but he told the story of your flirting attempts in Crestwood to just about anyone who was willing to listen. Why?

Rook, looking at them from right behind her:

The Inquisitor: No reason.

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They made Harding being at the Winter Palace canon ten years after the fact BUT also made the Inquisitor leaving her knee-deep in HORSE SHIT all night canon. Bioware is so mean to me 💔

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Mardy's Brat!Rook: honestly I still blame my idiot father. A single HINT of common sense either from him or that Saelac buffoon was all he really needed to be King of Orzammar by now! And I would have been far too important to, ugh, work as my petty uncle's eyes on the Surface during this fucking apocalypse. But nooooooo they just had to fall for it. No wonder they were good friends.

The companions still trying to fully pull their ass out of the Fade: can this PLEASE wait a minute

Bellara (about to become Thedas' first fujoshi): hey how good

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we have no proof that the song Bartrand was hearing from the idol WASN'T the it's me boy i'm the ps5 one. on repeat.

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Astronomer, the beloved vampire companion from Baldur's Gate 3: I really should have killed you when I had the chance

ME, walking my ass into an incredibly oblivious trap just to see miss Korilla strut in & kill people: Arthritis, please. I'm kind of in the middle of something here.

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Someone on youtube did the entire Bull romance with a dwarf. Sera's "how are you still walking" comment never applied harder than there

LMAOOOO I forgot about that banter! The dwarven spirit is just that unbreakable I guess 😂

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Inquisition's Fake Calling and Veilguard's Turbo Blight be damned do you know who IS still alive and kicking? Sigrun. My cockroach-coded queen.

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Wait, why do you hate elves?

Because of what they have done to Skyrim and Her people.

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so-called "free thinkers" when the "this is where you lean over me and slap the wall" scene comes up

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and why is the specific flavor of Cassandra/Cadash where she DOES become Divine and Cadash doesn't disband the Inquisition but hands her its leash and falls back into their old (bloody) ways for her benefit while she turns a blind eye to it, perhaps each time less reluctantly than the last, NOT more popular On Here??? The WWW (Women's Wrongs Website)??

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do NOT take this as me wishing that Cadash had gotten even less content because, dear god, no, but how can I not be a little bit curious of what Bull opting out of a romance with a dwarven character because he's, you know, would have looked. How could that conversation been anything other than golden. IIRC he was even a pretty late addition to the roster of characters Cadash could romance so do we think they already had voiced lines of him rejecting them. BioWare. BioWare is there a recording somewhere of the Iron Bull telling Cadash that his dick would kill them. BioWare. Open the vault.

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cadashwall's impact on my mental health through my twenties. NEVER let ur depression win king 😎👍 the morally bankrupt mafia boss who's mean to everyone but you IS coming your way

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Josephine: mmmmh... if we play our cards right we could turn public opinion against the noble who has been slandering us in a matter of days

Leliana: threatening him and his family would yield more immediate results

Cullen: this is so dumb we have an army just march into his home and arrest the mf

Cadash: you know the last time I was in orzammar this guy tried to start shit with me and I just threw him into the lava pools, like out in the open. I miss that sometimes

Cullen: the what now

Leliana: oh yeah lol I remember those

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Morrigan when she's about to sic the person with two decades worth of pent-up rage directed at shitty parental figures on Flemeth

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I mean, yeah, it's tragic for us but can you imagine how wild Aeducan's return to Orzammar is for, like, regular people? Honey you will NOT believe who I just saw running after a nug down the street