biancadavri

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if I disappear until mid-summer: I haven't died, I'm doing fine and getting paid lol

[biancadavri]

sorry to say this on the women and gays website but a m!aeducan who romances morrigan is so hysterical to me. i'm obsessed with him, what do you mean you go from being the golden child of Orzammar to all but beg a woman who's not afraid to call you a pathetic bitch to your face to tell you you're good in bed. what do you mean you conceive a child for all the wrong reasons with her and you still end up a better parent than YOUR father. guy of the century i'm afraid. that kid speaks in tongues where the fuck is the bar at.

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It's called Absolution because Lacklon is Absolutely my type ❤️

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I'm replaying Origins without a dwarf warden for the first time in years and I completely forgot how insane the first impression of Orzammar is if you haven't started the game there "Hello player please enjoy this small cutscene of two angry mobs shouting at each other in the town's square. It seems everyone is carrying weapons" what. "Uh oh looks like it ended with one man butchered in the streets" What. "Two of those thugs were the current candidates to the throne" WHAT.

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Oghren's Nugget!Rook: I've met someone but I'm not sure how to tell dad

The Hero of Ferelden: I know your father has many flaws but there's nothing he wants more than you living a good life. And if you've found someone that makes you happy, he'll be overjoyed

Oghren's Nugget!Rook: he's an Antivan Crow

The Hero of Ferelden: do not fucking talk to your father about this until I've done some damage control. Holy shit, what were you thinking? Hasn't his liver gone through enough already?! Is he into leather? PLEASE tell me he isn't into leather

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Duncan seeing a young dwarf walking towards him while their buddy dares them to ask to drink his bath water

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Florianne: It cannot have escaped your notice that certain parties are engaged in dangerous machinations tonight... 😉

Cadash: But I thought dangerous machinations were the national sport in Orlais 😘

Cadash (internally): me little legs...

[biancadavri]

The beloved vampire companion from Baldur's Gate 3!

You know him!

Astronomer, the beloved vampire companion from Baldur's Gate 3: I really should have killed you when I had the chance

ME, walking my ass into an incredibly oblivious trap just to see miss Korilla strut in & kill people: Arthritis, please. I'm kind of in the middle of something here.

[biancadavri]

The Crows watching you to tell you to get some self respect and go for a dwarven blacksmith who bathes at least FOUR times a year

[biancadavri]

this is embarassing but I always forget that Corypheus is supposed to be tall. I know the scene where he lifts the Inquisitor to look them in the eyes is framed to show just how inhumanly tall he is but I'm, like, playing as a dwarf man. I could do that and I'm 165 cm on a good day.

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[biancadavri]

The Crows watching me unknowningly dodge another murder attempt by completely ignoring the drop-dead gorgeous assassin they sent to seduce me in favor of trying to get dicked down by a dwarven blacksmith who showers twice a year:

[biancadavri]

did you find the Last Court preservation drive?

I didn't even know it existed 😅 so thank you for the heads up!

[biancadavri]

The Last Court vexes me. What do you mean you've got the people behind the Evil and Fucked Up Underground City of Unspeakable Horrors (Class Disparity Among Them) Game working on something fun for you. And you DON'T have it set in Orzammar. Did a pack of dwarves push a dragon age dev's mom off a cliff or something.

[biancadavri]

No man "dying in a desperate last stand against impossible odds" is not an Universal Man Urge I just think you need more vitamin D *gets a single glimpse of Dragon Age dwarves* Ok nevermind I get it now

[biancadavri]

any other discourse on veilguard aside, they really introduced THE romanceable shortstack redhead tomboy gamerbros have been begging for since time immemorial in the same game where this two meters tall white hair and pronouns wall of muscle can waltz in and steal her from under their fucking noses... like you have to admit it's a little funny. maybe the woke agenda is real

[biancadavri]

Do you think a "Sera approves" message pops up the first time Rook goes down on Harding