#trying not to sneeze

[shironezuninja]

I wonder if early DC Comics were more silly than vintage Marvel comics.

[littlecrittereli]

Please please please, may I request a doodle of Martin taking care of a delirious/feverish Chris 🥺

(He asked nicely 234293847 times already, violence is the only solution)

[babykittenteach]

Day 9

Day 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

[ratatatastic]

oh ellie his fiancée made banana bread before every home game and thats what made him play well....huh well isnt that an interesting tidbit that doesn't remind me of anything at all...

Matthew Cup Day | 7.18.24 (x)

yeah this reminds me of nothing absolutely nothing at all (x)

absolutely nothing at all...

nothing really comes to mind actually...

[squidflavoredsoup]

evil demon baby n lil baby fords costume

i’m too tired to put too much effort into fords rn

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Emily: “I’m really sorry Vaggie didn’t feel comfortable coming back here. If there’s anything I can do to change that-”

Charlie: “Probably not! It was kinda a sign of her endless love for me that she visited haven again at all!”

Emily: “Oh! Oh that’s nice!!”

Charlie: “Which I NEVER would have asked her to do anyway, if I’d KNOWN the truth about her history up here!”

Emily: “Right. I’m so sorry about that too, by the-”

Charlie: “I mean, I’m not the kind of girl who askes her girlfriend to go spend an afternoon sitting across from the people who ripped off her wings! And her eye! And left her slumped against a dumpster looking half dead!”

Emily: “A… dumpster?”

Charlie: “Making the woman you love relive all that without even rEALIZING it would be pretty fucked up, wouldn’t it??”

Emily: “V- very.”

Charlie: “IT HYPOTHETICALLY COULD MAKE SOMEONE FEEL KINDA TERRIBLE AFTERWARDS, DON’T YOU THINK?”

Emily: “I’m sure it did!”

Charlie: “H Y P O T H E T I C A L L Y”

Emily: “Could! I could see that, yes, if it HAD happened, that would’ve been…”

Emily: “…”

Emily: “Are you- um, is she, errr.. doing better now?”

Charlie: “SO much better she’s doing SO great these days!!!!”

IN HELL

Vaggie: (lying face down on the hotel lobby floor) “I promise I won’t stop helping you morons when she dumps me. I won’t let her dream die just because I was dumb enough to think I could be part of it.”

Angel Dust: “That’s nice toots.”

Vaggie: “Thanks.”

Angel Dust: “Not sad or stupidly gay or anythin’.”

Vaggie: “Thanks.”

Cherri Bomb: “Sad? Angie, it’s perfect!” (takes picture) “I’ve been thinking this place could use a new rug…”

Niffty: (stepping on vaggie) “Squishy!”

Husk: “Get the fuck off her.” (at vaggie) “You, get the fuck UP.”

Vaggie: “Why.”

Alastor: “Hmmm, because this is PAINFULLY pathetic to watch, even for me?”

Vaggie: “Guess I’ll be here forever then.”

Angel Dust: “Vag-GAY c’mon, ya girlfirend’s not gonna dump ya. What’s the competition even!?”

Vaggie: “There’s an angel up in heaven who's helping Charlie work towards her life long dreams as we speak, and she's taller than me, got more wings than me, not as stabby as me, and also not a mass murderer or a liar or missing an eye.”

Cherri Bomb: "Hey!"

Vaggie: "No offence to the other one-eyed ladies here, but it's different when you've got a fucked up empty eye socket."

Niffty: (sighs dreamily) "I bet losing it hurt soooo baaaaad..."

Vaggie: "Never telling my girlfriend why I'd actually lost it or how it made me look like the deranged murder angel I was, even while she tried kissing it better for me, ended up hurting way worse."

Angel Dust: “That's a point….”

Angel Dust: “...alright, so Charlie’s PROBABLY not gonna dump ya-”

Niffty: “Oh that’s a weird sound!” (giggling) (bounces on vaggie) “I think she’s dying~”

Husk: “If you fucks kill her, I’m telling her demon princess girlfriend and pouring myself a drink to go with your fucking tormented howls.”

Vaggie: (muffled) “what if she’s my ex-girlfriend”

Husk: “…I’ll pour you a fucking drink and listen to your tormented howls.”

Niffty: “ME TOO I’LL LISTEN TOO!”

Alastor: “Dear one, perhaps if you were NOT standing on her skull and compressing her WRETCHED cries into the floor, we could be hearing them already.”

Niffty: “Whoops~ Heheheeh~”

Cherri Bomb: (recording it) “Damn, that groan’s been going on for ages… Bitch has some lung capacity on her.”

Angel Dust: “Point one for Vag-gay! Probs as good eating out as ya are at HOLDING out on ya girl!!!”

Vaggie: “uuuughhh…uaauuugghhaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaahhhhrrrgh..” (whimpers)

Niffty: “Okay.” (GIGGLES) “NOW she’s dying~” (bounces)

IN HEAVEN

Charlie: “Everything’s totally fine I have NO idea why you’d even ASK!”

Emily: “You’ve spent the entire time up here staring at pictures of Vaggie on your phone?”

Charlie: “I’m allowed to look at my girlfriend!”

Emily: “While crying and sniffling into your sleeve?”

Charlie: (sobbing) (desperately patting down her jacket) “SHE’S THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS WHICH OF MY POCKETS HAS THE HANDKERCHIEF IN IT, OKAY??”

Emily: (smiling) “I think you two are going to be just fine.”

Charlie: (BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY INTO JACKET SLEEVE, which catches on FIRE)

Emily: “…..not your clothes, though. You might need a new set of those.”

[fleshgerm]

He's adequate enough of a caretaker

[immaculatesnz]

Someone who's normally very thorough about covering their sneezes being too exhausted and/or feverish to even turn away from their partner during a fit

When it's over, all they can do is groan and mutter a weak apology, expecting to be met with disgust but seeing only concern on their lover's face.

"You're really not feeling well, aren't you?"

[diushek]

The heavenly demon Luo Binghe in the modern world feels cruelly attacked by a seasonal allergy. Because of course, he had to be allergic to pollen which has no kind of sexual poison. And he is irritable, with a red nose, swollen eyes, a lot of sneezing and a headache.

Shen Yuan doesn't know whether to laugh or cry or find it adorable. No matter how many anti-allergy pills he gives him, Binghe keeps sneezing and his body... cancels them out! Nothing is useful! Not even papapa! So there's a very grumpy and quite sick Binghe for the first time in his whole life, the change of weather, the seasonal flowering, and Shen Yuan not knowing whether to google "What do I give my heavenly demon for allergies" or insult Airplane, because that can only be his fault.

(The cure? Eventually Binghe will get immunity. But, well, in the meantime... Poor boy.)

[sneezarify]

People who can’t/won’t stifle. There’s a special place in heaven waiting for u istg <3

[snzluv3r]

dying for that wav so I shall be the messenger 🫡rubbing ur nose makes u sneeze ❤️

somebody else sent me an anon for nose rubbing leading to sneezes, as my unmedicated allergies have left my nose so sensitive that i can’t even touch it without sneezing, but i posted the wrong audio so “make a wav about it” anon, this is for you <3

contains so much hitching, RAPID sneeze, nose rubbing sounds leading immediately to sneezing

[nametakensff]

Your poor new coworker is the sneeziest person you have ever encountered. Whether it's allergies, a cold or even a random tickle, her sneezing has become a normal part of your work day. The rest of your team seem to have tuned it out entirely, but you couldn't if you tried.

She very rarely covers - about a third of the time, you would venture to guess. Even then, she sneezes at, not into, her hands - hastily raised, sometimes after several sneezes have already occurred. She wipes them off on her stocking-clad thighs, seemingly oblivious of the wet streaks she leaves that glitter on the nylon, before she returns to her keyboard and mouse.

Her sneezes aren't exceptionally loud, but they are numerous, vocal, toe-curlingly desperate - and above all else, wet. Sometimes she gasps through a build-up, teasing you and priming you for what is to come. You try not to stare as she fans at her face, tongue curling in her mouth and squinting into the distance to encourage the oncoming explosions.

As your desk is right next to hers, you are regularly doused with the copious clouds of spray that blast out of her. If she notices the moisture twinkling on the skin of your hand or the dappled marks of dampness all over your sleeve, she doesn't apologise. More often than not, she'll mutter a cheery 'bless me!' and get on with her work. You bless her and use all your willpower to carry on with your own work, biting your lip as you see scattered droplets of her sneezes all over your papers.

You recently started bringing tissues to work especially for her. You love handing them to her after a long suffering fit, for which you are rewarded with a lengthy conversation about her tickly nose, and how she's been to every doctor and tried every medication to keep it under control. Nothing has worked, but she's incredibly easy-going about it. You blush as she mentions she actually quite enjoys a rigorous sneeze. You notice she uses the tissues to wipe her computer screen and keyboard down after an uncovered fit.

Ever since she moved to your department 4 months earlier, you've been sexually insatiable. You replay her sneezes in your head, and your thoughts are filled with increasingly more sexual scenarios and fantasies. You never dreamed of masturbating at work before you met her, but her gorgeous fits send you skulking towards the bathroom at least once a day. When you can fully indulge yourself at home, you cannot believe how good it feels to orgasm as she sneezes over and over in your mind.

Safe to say, she's driving you insane and seriously impacting your productivity. You don't care, though. Never before have you ever been so keen to get to work.

[mochindayo]

🧧新年快乐🧧！

!!!Qiuniu and Guilin!!!

MY DAY ISNT OVER SO ITS STILL LNY AND NOW IM POSTING IT YAY - today was just coloring it, drawing was done over the weekend for the most part :’)

Other art obligations required attention first~ and also y’know, my 8-4/9-5 😔 (just writing my silly little code that I don’t actually know how to write on my own or test on my own yet because I don’t know how all of our microservices work …yet… I swear I’m learning, it just takes me awhile to process and learn)

​oH also the last panel!!!! Guilin is short compared to Qiuniu. He has to stand on a chair to be tall enough to reach like that hahahaha. Qiuniu is 7ft. Guilin is 5’6ft.

But anyways, Happy Lunar New Years Everyone~

새해 복 많이 받으십시오~

新年快乐～

[cattewife]

thinking about,,, drunk sneezes

not only the possibility of sensitivity to wine/etc itself but just. the alcohol fuzziness meaning maybe they let a sneeze creep up on them without noticing, and the lack of inhibitions meaning they let it out without any shame they may usually have..... maybe even being more dramatic than usual, louder, bending at the waist, dazed after.... accepting care they may usually deny because they are drunk and happy and vulnerable

[immaculatesnz]

something something enemies/rivals-to-lovers snzfic where one of them has the kink and has to deal with the fact that their enemy/rival has a very attractive sneeze that happens to be the exact kind they're into

[clowningaroundmars]

hobie genuinely making miles snort-laugh with such a stupid lame joke but miles just cant help it!

its like miles' lame "am i late or are you all just early?" joke that gwen giggled at in itsv. every spiderperson is super lame and corny

for example, hobie taking miles to his boat for the first time

miles: you live on a BOAT??! how?!! :O

hobie: i mean i gotta, dont i? i'm an anarchist. all i ever do is… "pirate" ;)

miles:

hobie:

miles:

hobie:

miles, turning around suddenly: snrrkk kmfmfff-