#trying not to count chickens before they hatch etc

[cheadarchesse]

So I talked to the financial aid people at my new school and things are better than expected

Friends, I will be getting $3k OVER the cost of tuition and that's just in grants. If I'm careful and strategic, I can cut down how many days I'm at my soul sucking job!

I'm over the moon rn. Thought I would need to pay them or scramble for every scholarship posted just to make ends meet

[ageless-aislynn]

Dear ones, I don't want to jinx myself, count my chickens before they hatch or whatever saying might strike your fancy at the moment but... After a week plus a few days of over 30 blue screens of death (8 of them in one hour), my computer has made it a day without one.

I had to finally wipe everything and start over and I finally, after sooooo many hours of research, I can't EVEN, am pretty sure I've discovered the source of the problem that linked my old computer, my dad's computer and this computer to all having nearly identical bsod issues: some absolute DOORKNOB of a person was putting the exact same third-party firewall back on all of them. Who was that doorknob?

🤷‍♀️

In my, I mean, in HER defense, that firewall has served very well for the almost 20 years I've used it. It says it's compatible with Windows 10 and 11 and all of my troubleshooting was blaming the various video/network/etc drivers. However, I discovered that ZoneAlarm took an update at almost exactly the time my other computer started having trouble 3 months ago. But ZA updates "silently" so I didn't know that until I went looking just now for the date of the last build, realized it corresponded almost exactly, and then I went

That said, I'm a little worried that it took me THIS LONG to realize that that was the single program all 3 had in common. I was just so used to using and relying on it that it didn't occur to me that it could be at the heart of all of the problems.

So, as I said before, it all boils down to

Right now, I've got almost nothing on the computer besides the browser and a new set of security programs. It's been an interesting way to see what my priorities are because I want to install one thing, wait a couple of days to verify everything's working fine, then install then next, wait again and so on, putting things back on slowly and deliberately.

BUT I WANT STEAM BACK ON NOWNOWNOW SO I CAN PLAY MY GAMES ZOMGGGGGG.

Apparently, I get actual buckets of serotonin and overall feel-good vibes from playing games because I'm absolutely frothing at the mouth at not being able to play anything at all.

Next will be Word so I can stop trying to read my utterly, drastically terrible handwriting from where I've been working on "15 Minutes" ch7 by hand (I might possibly be writing in Sangheili, I can't even tell anymore 🤷‍♀️😉).

Then eventually, Vegas. I'm worried about that one in particular because my research did uncover a potential Vegas Pro 15 - Win 11 conflict. Some people couldn't get it to work, others have no problem. I've seriously got my fingers crossed that it'll be okay so I can get back to GIF-making and vid editing, in whatever order. 🤞😣🤞

I've spent SO much time seeing blue screens that I find myself staring at the place on the monitor where the error info flashes, my notebook at the ready to scribble down the pertinent messages, just expecting another to pop at any second.

The last couple of times it popped, I was trying to read the debugging info from the LAST crash. And then it would crash again.

However, I can now report that, if you're ever using WinDbg to read your .dmp files and it tells you "symbols are WRONG" (and yes, it all-capped it just like that), I can actually tell you how to fix the dang symbols. It's a weird flex to take but hey, I'm taking it. It wasn't easy to find the answer to that one! 😠😕😉

If all continues on without any further crashes, then I'll hopefully be back catching up on things ASAP. If it resumes crashing while I have nothing more on the computer than a browser and the security programs the pc came with, then I'm just going to

Let's hope for the best, m'kay? Good thoughts, prayers, hopes, well wishes or whatever you've got are appreciated at this point. Love you, friends. I've really missed you all. 🤗💖

[diasporatheblog]

Congrats on getting the final chapter out y'all!!! I adore this IF like crazy istg, everything about it is phenomenal, from the story, the characters, the politics etc etc This is easily in the top 3 greatest IF to ever IF, not hyperbole but straight truth. How does it feel to be so close to the finish line after 6(?) years of labour getting this done?

Thank you, anon. I, personally, am trying not to count my chickens before they've fully hatched, and just focus on swatting the bugs and getting the epilogue going. I suspect that after the epilogue is done I'll be saying the same thing about the edits, and then, uh... I honestly have no idea what it's going to be like after that.

[etlu-yume]

hey im just trying to figure out something are there days during the luteal phase where your pmdd mood symptoms are like minimal even non existent for like a day myb even if the day before symptoms were there and the day after symptoms are present again? esp if the day with no symptoms is like a day without much stressors like for example you're working during the week but then on the weekend you're home you have healthy on time meals enough water enough sleep etc?

This is a good question and I'm gonna have to go hunting for my trackers. Because it sounds like a logical thing and I think to an extent that yeah, there are some days when they are minimal or non existent compared to the previous day? But it seems to be heavily reliant on what external stressors there are, and what/if anything has been set off prior because a BAD bad pmdd day can then bleed (.. har har funny Etlu) into the next day and the next.

I think I've lost count of the number of times I've felt awful and told myself "don't do anything rash give it 24hrs it might just be that you need some sleep" and the next morning I'm still feeling it deep in my bones, and the day after that.

Definitely does happen on the odd occasion, and it's like "??? freedom??" until something happens that night, or the next day, and suddenly you're back at the bottom of the traphole again.

(I was concerned at one stage that maybe it was job!stress that was a problem factor but then I had some irritability/rage turns over christmas and there was no day job in sight so hahahahahahaha no it's not work it's just me.)

I found yesterday morning for example though, as much of a placebo as it may have been, that I was feeling *much* better after confirming cramps were Actual Period Cramps and not phantom ones. I reacted to things better. I had ACTUAL PATIENCE at work. Instead of cursing bitterly at the computer for being slow, I was reasoning out why it was being slow. Of course I counted my chickens before they hatched, and something set me off that afternoon and now we're all the way back at the bottom of the well again cursing that little glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel. So whether it was just placebo effect from the period starting, or idk the green tea I'd had the night before (it was DIVINE I hadn't had some in ages and I forgot how much I liked this one). There are moments. Glimpses.

I just wish they were more than the tiny snatches that they are right now.

[headspace-hotel]

The accumulated body of knowledge about the game mechanics of Minecraft counts as folklore

but like okay, off the top of my head:

water mechanics. Difference between a source block and flowing water block, how to create a source block, the fact that you can use water to break falls, etc. Kelp converts water blocks it grows through into source blocks apparently. I didn't even know this until a few weeks ago.

Literally everything about potion brewing, particularly the fact that you can brew multiple potions that literally do nothing and cannot be used to brew anything else

putting bookshelves around an enchanting table. No other functional block is affected by its surroundings like that, at least not that I can think of

Compasses. There's a loading screen text now that clarifies that they point to the world spawn, so this one is forgivable, but when I first started playing I gave up on them forever because I assumed they would point north (because there IS a north in minecraft) and was like "this shit has a bug or something"

Rules around mob spawning are particularly heinous because they fucking change all the time, but there's rules about what surfaces can spawn mobs, how many mobs can be spawned in an area at once, light levels, mob despawning, distance from the player where mobs can spawn, asdhfsdghj

Special dishonorable mention to slime chunks because how am I supposed to Know that "chunks" are themselves a thing

Honestly I'm still not sure how you fire a crossbow

milk removing status effects

Eggs—I played the game for months before I learned that throwing an egg can hatch a baby chicken. WHY WOULD THIS BE THE CASE

Crouching on magma blocks to avoid taking damage. I still forget you can do this because it makes no sense at all.

It took like a year for me to learn that you could add signs, hoppers etc. directly to chests by crouching

It also took like a year for me to learn how to use a composter (and believe me I did try)

had no idea that ender chests' contents were unique to every player until a long time after joining a multiplayer server

putting a saddle on a horse. you can only saddle a horse in Bedrock WHILE SITTING ON IT which is the least intuitive possible way to do this

using boats to trap mobs—this is on me since I definitely accidentally trapped mobs a few times in boats, but I think I just didn't know you could place a boat on land

SAPLING GROWTH RULES AUUUUGHGHHH

[also dark oak saplings—you need to plant 4 saplings in a square to grow a tree]

whatever arcane madness governs the orientation of glazed terracotta

crafting flower pots out of bricks. why

Using Eyes of Ender to find strongholds??? I found my first stronghold by accident and for ages I had no idea there was a way to locate them aside from just randomly looking.

On top of this, the mechanics differ slightly between Java and Bedrock Edition in a million ways that makes learning them incredibly confusing

Minecraft 1.20 thoughts:

The highlight is, of course, the cherry blossom grove biome and cherry trees. The cherry wood just looks SO GOOD with everything. I've made so many builds incorporating it already and it's so easy to work into a color scheme. Cherry wood. Hhhhhnnnnghh. Such a delicious shade of pink. I want to eat it.

Also really excited about the bamboo wood set, it looks amazing and adds a lot of functionality to bamboo.

Feeling pretty positively about the armor trims, though I wish there were more where the decorative material was more dominant in the color scheme.

Trail ruins and archaeology: Mixed feelings. I think archaeology is a fun mechanic, I like exploring the trail ruins, but they really, really turn inventory management into an absolute nightmare.

There are many different varieties of pottery sherds, I think at least 20. Sherds of different types do not stack. There are 4 armor trims that can be dropped by suspicious gravel in trail ruins. Trims of different types do not stack. The trail ruin structures themselves include many different varieties of terracotta and glazed terracotta, (at least 6 different colors of each) and—you guessed it!—each type stacks separately.

Additionally, suspicious gravel in trail ruins may drop any of several colors of candle (I have found red, purple, green, brown, and blue candles) and any of several colors of glass pane. The process of digging the ruin out will fill your inventory with at least 6 stacks of gravel as well as a lot of dirt, coarse dirt, cobblestone, and flint.

To top it all off, unless you want to enchant your brush with Unbreaking, you will need to carry multiple brushes because the brush breaks before the ruin is fully cleared.

Even with multiple shulker boxes clearing a ruin fully in one trip is impossible. What were the devs even thinking??? Are we expected to throw away the candles and other "junk" drops and ignore the glazed terracotta, mud bricks, and other tedious-to-obtain blocks in the structure itself?

This update shares with 1.19 the bizarre attribute of the devs supposedly being very focused on the player experience, while seemingly not noticing key parts of the player experience. The new mechanics and features in both have some incredibly fun and engaging elements to them but also some glaring problems.

I'm pretty much just indifferent to the clay pots? They would be more fun if they incorporated some basic colored patterns and/or actually could be used for something.

Changes to sign editing, and hanging signs are both fantastic.

The "Netherite Upgrade" is shit and I'm not sorry to say it.

Like...netherite is already so incredibly tedious and difficult to obtain that it's almost not worth bothering with. 4 ancient debris is needed to craft a single netherite ingot. You need 16 ancient debris to upgrade a full diamond armor set to netherite, and 8 more if you want to upgrade a sword and one pickaxe. If you don't have Mending on all of them, basically go fuck yourself, because from that point you will need multiple netherite ingots to repair a piece of equipment in the same way you would need multiple diamonds to repair diamond equipment. All of this for a set of equipment that will be fucking gone if you die and can't recover it.

And yet the devs have decided to??? fucking...add a generic, painfully uncharismatic new item to provide another barrier to obtaining netherite gear? because it's too easy or something???

I haven't broken into the other new additions very much, but I will try to obtain a sniffer egg soon...

[hmslusitania]

Hey, you don’t need to answer this if you’re not up for more discourse, but i just wanted to complain a bit about how this Ana-storyline is now probably getting even more non-sensical. Because it very much seems like we are going to skip right ahead to Eddie being back at work, right? And i know, timelines on tv are…weird, to say the least, especially when it comes to medical leaves etc. But Eddie’s physical recovery must have at least taken a few weeks. Now, assuming that we are going to see Ana again, that means he kept her around for that long, with her probably helping him through all of it, and now he’s going to break it off pretty much out of the blue?

Hey Anon!

I...would not be too worried about the timeline. Season 4 retconned when May's graduation party was because of covid, so instead of taking place in May/June it took place in March (apparently) and when 4x01 started, it gave us a full title card saying it was September (despite the episode airing in January). So we know 4x01 and 4x02 took place in September 2020, and after that, we don't really have a timeline. There's a timeskip somewhere in Season 4, but I don't actually think it was during the mid-season break because they were doing vaccine doses in 4x08 and as we're all painfully aware, the vaccine wasn't developed until the beginning of 2021. Somewhere in between 4x02 and 4x08, we skipped a few months. My personal suggestion would be between 4x02 and 4x03, since I don't remember getting any indication that Lone Star was taking place at any other time than the present as it was airing so the timelines (in this version) would've aligned at the crossover.

Of course, I would take any and all timeline aspects with the utmost salt because basically anything you do to it to try and make it make sense results in Maddie being pregnant for like 13 months. Which is suboptimal.

As for Ana's return, I want to emphasise that this is not officially confirmed anywhere, to my knowledge. It's put together through analysis of Instagram stories, which is methodologically sound as far as a research analysis method, but also not infallible.

We did also get a bit of a filming schedule yesterday that someone dug up on Twitter, and so it looks like what they were filming yesterday with all the entire circus is actually part of 5x02 in the depths of the blackout, rather than part of the first episode, Panic. It makes me wonder/hope that perhaps if we do get Ana back, and we do have that opening extraneous episode, perhaps it will include flashbacks and that's the reason for her presence, and we will get to see A) some Eddie recovery stuff and B) the breakup we all so crave. As far as anyone knows (last I checked, but I haven't caught up with the dash yet this morning) Albert has not been spotted anywhere in turnouts, and that could be because Timothy wasn't kidding when he suggested that perhaps Albert would be at a different station, or it's because 5x02 takes place before that closing scene and we're going to backtrack a bit. Which, of course, would only muddle the timeline just a bit more, but whatever.

Or, it could be that they have been together the entire time, and we're going to get indications that Eddie just hasn't found a time to break up with her yet because how do you break up with someone you don't love when they've been helping you through a recovery? It would be the return of the reason Tatiana broke up with Chimney in 1x03 except at a reverse: Ana did stay and we would get to see the fallout of that particular relationship choice. In my ideal, here, we'd have Eddie constantly checking his phone during the blackout and Buck ask, "Chris?" because of course that's who Eddie's checking in on, and Eddie would reply,

E: Yeah, I'm just worried.

B: Why? Isn't he with Abuela/Pepa/Carla?

E: No, he's with Ana.

B: And you're...not okay with that?

[long, long, telling silence]

E: ...that's not good is it.

B: Not if you want the relationship to work out.

Basically, Anon, my advice here is to not count your chickens before they've hatched and to not start diagnosing them with relationship perils/nonsensically continued relationships until after they've hatched. I would not worry about it yet.

[anime-lover-forever-1127]

The Sadist’s Nurse {Okita Sougo} - 1.This Is Only The First Chapter And I Can't Think Of A Title. How Am I Gonna Survive The Entire Fanfiction?!  Well Good Thing This Is A Gintama Fanfiction,  So I Can Do This

This Is Only The First Chapter And I Can't Think Of A Title. How Am I Gonna Survive The Entire Fanfiction?!

Well Good Thing This Is A Gintama Fanfiction,

So I Can Do This ^

Disclaimer - (Cause fanfiction is tricky ground and I hope not to offend the creator of the original story and get sued)

I do not own "Gintama", it belongs to its original creator Hideaki Sorachi - or as we may know him, the Gorilla (If you did not get that reference, then I'd like you to stop, and ask yourself - Are You A Real Gintama Fan?) . This is only a fanfiction that I was inspired to write by the original work. Please support the official release. Most of the media - such as the art and illustrations, gifs, video's, etc. used in this fanfiction - are from the web. Thus, most of them aren't mine (because I really, really can't draw) unless mentioned. To fit the story, images are also edited by various apps and websites. So they aren't mine, just edited.

Also if you own a picture or Video that I found online, and you either want your name added, or me to take it down. Please contact me and we can talk it out. P.s. I also ask that you do not copy my work and publish it onto any other website.

If you're gonna use my idea, please ask me (If you ask nicely, I for sure, will agree). If I don't contact you within a week, then just assume I'm giving you the all clear and go for it. Just remember to credit me.

I will be writing out scenes even if my Oc isn't in them. As long as she's mentioned, or influencing the characters in some way. Or maybe because it influences the story. This may seem a bit annoying. But that's just how I write. I like to embed my characters into the story line. Because of this, most of the dialogue/scenes will come from the original work.

I may not get all the references in the story - because I haven't watched all those anime - so sorry if I butchere those those ones. (It goes without saying that I don't own any of those as well)

*****

Warnings: Spoilers for episode 5

Today's Special

Never let your best friends get lonely...

Keep disturbing them

~ Unknown

*****

Akira watched her brother mutter to himself as he spied out the window.

"Okita wake up." Hijita said, balling up Katsura's wanted poster up and hitting the sleeping man on the head with it. The main reason he did that being that he didn't like how at home he looked sleeping on his precious baby sisters lap.

Akira stopped running her hands through the man's soft locks as he got up.

"I'm surprised that you could sleep through that explosion." Hijikata said.

"Explosion?" Sougo questioned. "Did you let the terrorists attack again?" He asked, pulling down his sleeping mask. "What's your problem, Hijikata? You need to apply yourself. Take a page out of Akira's book."

"Me! You're the one who needs to take a page out of her book and stop sleeping on the job." Hijikata shouts, grabbing his sword's hilt. "They can blow up all the Amanto for all I care. I'll let those fishes swim for a bit before I'll reel 'em up… and cut their necks." He drew his sword, pushing his palm against the flat side of the blade. "It'll be a proud moment for the shinsengumi. I'm looking forward to this fight."

"If that's settled. Then let's head back to the base and we can decide what action to take there." Akira suggests.

*****

"Oh? So we finally found them?" Kondo asks.

Hijikata nods, "Yes. Yamazaki is following them right now. It's only a matter of time before we discover their base, Kondo-san."

"Yeah. But it wouldn't be the first time we've thought that. We gotta be careful or they'll slip right through our fingers again." says Akira, as she leans against the door frame.

"That's fine. We'll just have to be careful. Goodwork, Toshi."

"It's too soon to thank me." The vice-chief says, he turns around to look at their boss. "Save it for after we've killed them!"

"That is smart. You know it's just like the saying goes. It's never a good idea to count your chickens before they hatch." Akira nods.

"That's right." Konod agrees, "The Shinsengumi only give credit after distinguished military service. We, the Shinsengumi, belong in battle. " Kondo nods.

Hijikata smirks, "You're the chief. I'm only following orders."

"I'm counting on you, Toshi." Says the older man.

"We'll in that case. I better go check the medical stock and get the room ready." Akira says. "Someone around here, and by that I mean me, has to make sure you idiots don't bleed out and kill yourselves."

*****

Akira watches from the sidelines as a Shinsengumi unit charges forward, her brother and childhood friend at the helm. Leading the attack.

"You're under arrest!" yells Hijikata, kicking the door down. "Come quietly, you terrorist scum!"

"It's the Shinsengumi!"

"Oh no! Run away!"

And other similar shouts were heard from the room.

"Kill them all!" Hijikata shouted, pointing his sword forward.

"Actually Aniki. We should take some of them alive. I highly doubt that this is the entire army." says Akira, coming up to stand beside the two commanding officers.

"She's right you know Hijikata-san." Sougo says, and never one to miss out on an opportunity to annoy the older man, he adds, "I feel bad for Akira-chan. Always having to pick up her oniisan's slack."

"Why you-" Hijikata starts to growl, only to be cut off with a slap to the head.

"Hey. Why did you do that?" He asked, rubbing his head.

"Because well you two are here, bickering like children. The enemy is getting away." Akira answers, her hands on her hips. "Now go, before I decide to hit you with something a lot harder."

"Fine. Let's go Sougo."

*****

Within minutes there were injured Shinsengumi members coming to Akira to get their injuries looked at.

"You can continue to fight." She says to a member of the 2and squad. "Oh, and well you're out there. Can you please try to capture one of the Jouishishi members alive. We could use a bit more intel on their future operations. oK."

"Of course Akira-san." The man nodded, picking his sword up and running off into the battle again.

Seeing no more people, Akira poked her head around the corner to see all the members standing outside a barricaded door.

Seeing that the fight was practically over, she walked over to the group of men.

"This again? Where do they think they're gonna go?" Akira wonders, as one of her fingers tap against her cheek.

"Who knows what's ever going on inside those terrorists' heads." A Shinsengumi member answered.

"Hey, come out. We're really going to fire this time." Sougo shouted at the door. His thumb and pointer finger holds his chin, as his arm rests on the palm of his other hand. "Hijikata-san, our evening soap rerun is going to start soon."

"Did you remember to set our VCR?" Akira asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Geez. I forgot." He answers.

"Great. Note to self. Don't give you that job again." pouts Akira. She then turns around to the men and shouts, "Come on people. Let's wrap this up. We have 45 minutes to get back to the base. So let's finish this up today ladies."

"Dam. I didn't know she could be so mean." One of the newer members mumbles.

"Yeah. I thought she was known for being nice."

"She usually is. But since you two are new here, you don't really know her and you haven't seen anything yet either. Wait till her favorite store is selling strawberry cake. Then you realise how mean she can truly be. She'll tear you the shreds and then sew you back up together again. There are a couple of unwritten rules in the Shinsengumi. Ones that you'll have to learn if you intend to survive here." Another one answers.

Getting sick of the mutters, Hijikata shouted, "You heard the women. Let's get this over with. Prepare to fire!"

Just as the explosive was about to be launched, the barricade broke open from the other side as three people jumped out.

"Wh-what are you doing?! Stop them!" shouted Akira, surprised.

A puffy silver haired man continued to charge forward, holding something round in his hand. "If you want to stop something, then stop this bomb, please!" He said.

"You have a bomb squad, don't you?"

"He's got a bomb." Someone shouted.

As the group of men in black ran away from the trio, Akira simply grabbed the vice-chief and first division captain and pulled them to the side and let the group run right past them.

"Normally i'd say that we should stick around and help them out. But I'm dying to see who killed Gyuki. If we go now, we can make it right before the opening credits finish." Akira smirked.

"Don't we need to stick around?" Toshi asks.

Raising an eyebrow, Akira fires back, "Do you wanna stick around?"

"Hell no" The two men answer in unison.

*****

Legend/translation:

Aniki - Your own older brother, not to be confused with oniisan, which means someone else's older brother.

I also feel like I need to clear up the topic of her hair colour. It's mostly black, but under certain lighting, it looks brown.

I also understand the difference between a doctor and a nurse. And, yes, she really is a doctor. But let's all be honest, 'The Sadist's Nurse' has a much better ring to it then, 'The Sadist's Doctor'. It honestly just rolls off the tongue better.

You can read the other chapters of this story (in order) on Wattpad, Quotev, Fanfiction.Net, Ao3, or Webnovel - Under the username Animeloverforever1127 (Under the same title of course). Or you could shuffle around my tumbler, (I’ll try to keep my tags constant) but I’d go with the first - just seems like a lot less work.

[purplesurveys]

987

survey by shamegmeg

Have you ever cut your own hair? I’ve trimmed my own bangs but that’s it. I feel like doing anything to my hair altogether on my own is too big a move and would have bigger consequences if I fuck it up (which I definitely will end up doing).

What do you eat most frequently? Meat - chicken, beef, and pork. It’s in nearly every dish we eat, if not all of them.

Are you a fan of video games? I will always find the topic interesting and I played a fair share of video games growing up, but I’m not an ultra fan of any of the most popular games right now. I do like staying updated with my favorite series like Grand Theft Auto, The Sims, Mario Kart, etc. but it’s rare that I get my hands on the console itself to play. 

What's your favorite color combination? I don’t really think of any specific two colors, but I’m generally a fan of combinations of muted or pastel colors. Anything that doesn’t hurt my eyes too much.

Did you share a locker at school? We didn’t do that; we each had our own.

What's one sport you could never play? Basketball. Never understood the rules and I just never had the stamina for it. I’m also pretty competitive so I feel like I’d be pissed off and take it personally whenever somebody blocks me hahaha.

Blue or black ink? Black. I have nothing against blue though - I just like keeping pens with black ink around more.

Have you ever sang karaoke? Just once or twice. I’m not extroverted enough for it, not even when drunk. I just really hate the sound of my own singing voice, so it doesn’t help if I’m suddenly singing into a microphone.

What was the last concert you attended? Answer’s gonna be unchanged for the meantime, man...Paramore. No complaints naming them every time I’m asked this, though. Let’s hope they’ll also be the next concert I attend, as they like coming back to Manila anyway :))

Have you held anyone's hand in the past week? No.

What's your favorite perfume/body spray/cologne? I’ve used Beyoncé’s Heat Rush since high school. I’ve never gotten tired of the scent and pretty much everyone knows me by that perfume now.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Before Covid, it depended on how late I’d get out of bed. If I had the energy to get up earlier, I’d devote 20-30 minutes to getting ready; but if it was a harder morning to face, I’d just take a quick 3-minute shower and wear the first things I see in my closet. These days since I just work from home, all I need to do is shower which takes no more than a few minutes.

What is the oldest age you think should wear makeup? I think anyone of any gender of any age (except babies and younger kids) of any background from any walk of life should be allowed to wear makeup...

How old were you when you went on your first date? I was 16.

What's your nationality(ies)? Filipino.

Are you an open book? I can be for the most part since there’s no harm in sharing, but there are a few things that I’m extremely protective and secretive about.

Do you think you're a good secret keeper? Yeah. I used to share secrets with Gab but that’s because she tends to forget easily, but otherwise I have no problem taking secrets with me to my grave.

Name one fashion trend you could never follow. I have never been into wedges. Too chunky-looking.

Do you prefer long hair or short hair? On me? Short. It’s easier to maintain and take care of.

When do you plan to go to sleep tonight? Depends on how tired I am by the end of the day. I did make a cup of coffee today though so the caffeine might also choose to hang out into the evening.

Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yes.

If so, who? Gabie.

What exotic animal would you love to have as a pet? That’s a pass for me. I don’t know their temperament and what they need on a normal day, so I’m really not well-equipped to keep an exotic animal as a pet and I don’t want to end up accidentally killing them or something.

Do you want kids when you're older? At this point in my life I can go with or without them.

Did your parents sign you up for anything you hated as a child? I’m definitely grateful for it now, but when I was going through ballet classes as a five year old I absolutely hated it and had no idea what I was doing there. I wish I could tell my five year old self to appreciate it more because now I think it’s pretty cute that my parents wanted me to take up ballet and enrolled me in classes.

Where's your cell phone? It’s just right beside me. It’s always right beside me, haha.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I’ve always been a firm supporter of the egg lol because it had to be an earlier version of the chicken that laid the egg that would ultimately hatch the chicken as we know them today. Idk though, I hate questions like this hahahaha

What are your feelings about Octomom? I don’t know anything more than the fact that she had octuplets, which is awesome and badass in itself.

Do you know of Smosh? I used to LOVE Smosh, like holy shit. I probably talked about them in my earliest surveys a decade ago; simply put I was hooked. Watched every new episode and every new Lunchtime with Smosh/Ian Is Bored video from around maybe 2010-2013 until they started adding more crew members and until their videos started to stray from the content that made them blow up in the first place. I still remember when it was Smosh and Pewdiepie vying for the highest subscriber count on YouTube, haha. Was also sad when Anthony left. Suffice it to say I’ll always hold a fondness for Smosh - Anthony and Ian were my first favorite YouTubers along with Pewdiepie.

Do you drink enough water daily? Some days I do, some days I don’t.

Is your diet healthy? When I do eat my dishes are always a good balance of meat and veggies, but I feel like me skipping most of my meals overshadows that fact and makes my overall diet not-so-healthy.

What's your favorite fruit? The only one I’ve had and not feel like gagging whenever I consume it is avocado. To an extent, tomato too.

What was your favorite Halloween costume? Going as my former best friend, Sofie.

Have you purchased any cool objects from a foreign country? I bought a few trinkets from Japan when I was there, but they were all for my loved ones and I don’t exactly remember what I bought anymore.

Are you on a laptop or a desktop computer right now? Laptop. 

Where do you plan to post this survey? Tumblr, as I’ve always done in the last near-decade or so.

Do you remember anyone's number by heart? My mom’s, sister’s, and Gabie’s.

Are you a morning person or a late night owl? I’m more of a morning person lately because of work and because of the need to be chirpy by 9 AM. Being awake these days makes me sad now, so I avoid staying up late as much as I can; which means my days of being a night owl are over.

Name something you will never try in your lifetime. Coprophagia.

What do you think is your biggest flaw? I’m super competitive, which makes me the suckiest person to have friendly games with. I avoid them altogether so that I don’t end up killing the vibe of whatever crowd I’m with. I’ll own this lol.

First physical trait you notice in the sex you're attracted to? Wouldn’t say I’m automatically attracted to any sex. With everyone though, I tend to notice body language first which kiiinda counts as a physical trait.

How about personality wise? Whether they look approachable/easy to talk to or not.

Are you sick often? Almost never.

Would you rather have strep throat or an ear infection? Uh I’d rather not be sick at all hahaha.

When did you last shower? This morning, before work. We have online meetings every Monday morning, and I wanted to look fresh and clean for it.

Do you have neat handwriting? I’d say so. I get a lot of compliments about my penmanship and my friends usually call on me when they need someone with consistent and clean handwriting, so I guess must be holding my pens right.

Are you a messy or organized person? I’d say my workspaces are always organized but my personal space (car, backpack, etc) is messy.

At what age do you hope to get married? By the end of my 20s or early 30s.

Is being thin really all that great? Idk, I feel like the experience differs per person. I don’t have complaints about it for the most part, but it can get annoying when there are certain tops I’d like to wear but will never be able to pull off and thus have to leave on the rack just because my chest is flat or my overall figure is rather tiny.

Which of the seven deadly sins do you think you're most guilty of? Pride.

How much time have you spent on the computer today? 9 hours and counting. WFH is basically being on the computer all day, so that’s a big reason why I’ve racked up so many hours.

What size shoe are you? 6–7.5.

How was the weather today? The sun was out but fortunately it wasn’t all that hot for me to feel uncomfortable. I hate that it was bright all day, though. My disposition is more likely to improve if it’s cloudy and a little gloomy, haha.

Do you live above, below, or on the Equator? Above.

Do you know how to use Photoshop? I tried to play and experiment with it as a teen, but it just never made sense to me. I hate touching any kind of Adobe program.

Admit it, you're thinking about someone right now. Eh, false. I’m thinking of how much longer this survey will still be.

Where is he/she?

Where was your first job? My first internship was also at a PR agency, if that counts.

Favorite year in high school? Junior year.

East or West? As in parts of the world? East all the way, of course.

Where did your first kiss take place? On my bed.

What color do you wear most often? Probably maroon because of how many UP shirts I have.

Who was the last person you talked on the phone to? That would be my dad.

Have you ever done your own laundry? Kinda. I’ve had to wash my blanket a few times because Cooper peed on them.

Have you ever been to a night club? Yes.

Are you allergic to anything? Nope.

What's the best place you have ever eaten? Mendokoro Ramenba by a freaking mile.

Do you own a hair straightener? No. My mom does; if I ever need a straightener I just borrow hers.

Are you barefoot right now? Yep, always am when I’m at home except for the rare times I put socks on.

Are you subscribed to any magazine? No. Even when magazine subscriptions were popular I was never subscribed to any; I didn’t see the point when I could just get the new issue every month at the mall myself lol.

Puppies or kittens? Puppies.

If you had a billion dollars, where would your first investment be made? First I would probably read up on investment so that I don’t end up making decisions I’ll regret. My first agenda is to help my parents settle whatever payments they’re making at the moment, so that they don’t have to worry about any of that crap anymore.

Who is the best artist you've seen live? PARAMORE. I mean they’re artists, as in plural, but still.

Any major plans coming up this week? Keep myself alive.

Did you know they never told you Arnold's last name in Hey, Arnold? Never realized that but I don’t really care too much, considering I was never into the show.

Would you rather watch a romantic comedy or watch a thrilling horror movie? Romantic comedy, as long as it’s one I’ve already seen and enjoyed, like Love Actually or The Proposal. Most other romcoms are too cheesy and suck.

How is your hair styled right now? It’s in a ponytail that’s been unchanged all day, so it’s a bit messy at this point.

Favorite person that you've talked to today? Angela.

Do you need AC right now? I’m good. It’s a little chilly tonight, so yay.

Do more people call you by a nickname or your first name? My first name is already my nickname - most people just call me Robyn. At home, though, I’m usually called a shortened version of my name.

Name something you're proud of. I confided in Angela today that I’m finally starting to think of seeing a therapist. Which I think is such a big realization to have and a big choice to have made. So yay me. Let’s hope I actually push through with it, and let’s hope I’m able to land a job soon so I can finally fucking afford to see one.

Are you a hopeless romantic? I never knew what this meant and I don’t feel like learning tonight.

How do you feel about couples who say 'I love you' too soon? No judgment. I don’t comment on how other couples navigate their relationship; it’s their thing.

What's the most recent favor you've done for somebody? Can’t remember.

Are you at home right now? Yep.

What did you last spend money on? Gas.

Does any accent annoy you? Stereotypical ones, like how Filipino-American stand-up comedians always try to cash in on Filipino quirks and make fun of thick Filipino accents, which makes all Filipinos look like we can’t speak English ‘properly,’ whatever properly means. Full-blooded Filipinos are so sick of that shit. We get it, the cellpown is ober der -___-

How about turn you on? None actively turn me on.

Are you wearing any jewelry? No.

Do you get along better with your mom or your dad? Dad. Easier to talk to and we share more interests.

Are you craving anything right now? Sushi.

What's worse: Crocs or Uggs? I’d go with Uggs, because Crocs actually look cute on kids so at least it suits one market lol

Do you knock before you open doors? Yep, always. I learned the habit because my mom never knocks and I quickly realized I don’t want to be that kind of person.

Do you know what a sock on the doorknob means? I think so.

Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate.

What's your zodiac sign? Taurus.

Does Fred from Youtube annoy you? I don’t think he ever did.

[gaiahypothesims]

50 Questions

THANKS! I was tagged by @bloody-personalblog-mary I’m going to pick Evelyn this time! 

How old is your sim? 30 something (early 30′s)

When is your sim’s birthday? (Did not think this far….)

What is your sim’s zodiac sign? I’ll get back to you.

What is your sim’s ethnicity? Mixed, very mixed. Mom is Asian, Dad is mixed race.

Does your sim have any nicknames? Ev, evie.

Do they have a job? If so what is it? She’s trying to get her old job back, with little success at the moment. Graphic design is a bit over saturated at the moment. 

Where does your sim live? Sunlit Tides

Who does your sim live with? No one. Though Ashley stays when he can. I guess there’s Eugene... but he’s a dog. 

What environment did your sims grow up in? (strict, loving, cold etc.) Overbearing and overprotective. But still very much smothered in love. 

What are your sim’s favorite foods? Right now? She’ll eat anything. Especially if it has cheese on it, or chocolate.. or a baked potato. 

What is your sim’s favorite drink? She used to love her some vodka, but that’s not an option. Cranberry juice... you know, to ward off the UTI’s.

If they have one what is your sim’s favorite color? Yellow, emerald green, coral. She likes bright spring colours. 

Does your sim believe in any clichés? (love at first sight) Not anymore.

What is your sim’s sexuality? Straight

What is your sim’s gender identity? Cisgender

Is your sim blood type a or type b? A+

Is your sim introverted or extroverted? She’s more introverted, but can be social when she chooses to be.

What is your sims favorite woohoo position? At the moment with all the sloshy hormones anything. Just anything. Though in the past she likes being on top, hits all the right spots. 

Is your sim a pet person? If so what is their favorite animal? None. She doesn’t really like animals, but Eugene is growing on her.

Does your sim have a best friend? Ashley and Rosie.

What is/was your sim’s favorite school subject? Art.

Is/was your sim a high, mid or low achiever in school? High. Her parents demanded it, and she was mostly willing to deliver.

Are they planning to go or have they already been to college? If so, what would be or what was their major? She did. Bachelor in Graphic Design and Interactive Media. 

What are your sims political beliefs? (if they have them) Extremely liberal... leaning anarchist. ;)

What is one thing your sims wants to do before they die? She wants to have this damn baby. 

Does your sim have a favorite tv show (cable) and/or movie? She secretly likes Rom-Com’s, but always blamed having to watch them on Jonah and how mushy he was. Nothing specific.

Is your sim a Netflix viewer? If so what are their top 3 shows. She hasn’t had much time lately for TV, but her top 3 shows would be: Imposters, Grace and Frankie (she thinks one day it will be her and Rosie), Sneaky Pete (not Netflix but whatever). Apparently she has a thing for con-men ;) ;) 

Does your sim like books? If so what’s their favorite one? She does, and right now she’s been reading ALLL about babies and giving birth and she’s 1000% terrified and feels like she made a horrible mistake.

Does your sim enjoy video games, if so what is their favorite one and do they play on pc or console? Not really. 

What is your sim’s personal style? Bright, patterned... 

Does your sim have a lucky charm? Noooo.

Is your sim religious? Never. She’s a bit anti-religion. 

What kind of music does your sim listen to and who is their favorite artist? Evelyn has eclectic tastes. 

Is your sim a festive person? If so what’s their favorite holiday? Not so much anymore, though she looks forward to holidays when the baby comes (bittersweet for her really). 

What is your sim’s favorite type of weather? HOT. Sunlit Tides is her jam. 

Does your sim prefer to start fights or finish them? She loves to run away from a fight. LOL

Does your sim have a dream job? No. She’d rather not ever work and be a woman of leisure. (THAT at least Laken had right)

Does your sim have any siblings? <snort> Canon- NO! But in game her parents snuck in a new baby SISTER for her! 

Does your sim get along with their family? She does and she doesn’t. She loves her parents but they get on her every last nerve. They want to be TOO involved, and even as a grown woman they treat her like a child.

What is your sims favorite hobby? She used to like digital painting.

What does your sim look for in a romantic partner? She would say someone that is responsible, and mature. At the same time I think we alllll know that she is apparently ALL about the ridiculous and high drama males. 

What is a secret about your sim? She’s jealous. 

What is a wish your sim has? She wishes that they never started the whole fertility thing. That Jonah might still be HERS if they had never pursued any of this. 

What is a flaw your sim has? Likes to run away from her problems.

How do others generally perceive your sim? At the moment people see her as being very capable. Handling everything that life has thrown at her with grace and ease. She cries herself to sleep every night....

Does your sim have a greatest achievement? If so what is it? No. Not so far. She’s not counting her chickens before they hatch. But she’s secretly optimistic that this baby will make it, and its all she has left. 

If they have one, what is your sim’s greatest regret? Not going with Jonah to the clinic before he was in the accident. 

Does your sim have a favorite emoji? Crying face. 

Does your sim use simstagram? If so what’s their @?  She has an account, but she doesn’t look at it often because it causes her to stalk Ruby’s. (Fictitious, I’m not making ANYONE a simsta)

What is the last text your sim sent (and who did they text)? She ALMOST sent a text to Jonah saying “I miss you.” but she deleted it, and sent this one to Arthur instead: “I’m coming over.” He never texts back, but he’s always waiting with the door open. 

Not tagging more people because I tagged in the last one. I have ONE more to go. 

[thebigreylotheory]

Belated TROS trailer reaction and thoughts

Painting.

Been doing lots of painting.  Rewatching TFA, TLJ, and Solo and painting.

Ok, wow, originally intended to have this up by May the 4th….but like I mentioned some posts ago, bantha poodoo happens. (Caps is the same :( )

It’s finally, finally time for my TROS trailer reaction, thoughts, and a few theories! (I don’t know about you, but I’m still not over how good it is. Say what you will, Star Wars has the best trailers.)

Breathing is very important to the sequel trilogy. (I would say that Rey that is totally going to be ahead of the game for Lamaze class if we get a sequel-sequel trilogy/book/comic baby some galaxy far far away day.)

I’ve wondered if the movie will take the time to explain how the Skywalker lightsaber has been repaired? My feeling is, sorta like ROTJ, it’ll just be there like Luke’s green lightsaber. So, you’ll either have to make up your own head canon OR we’ll eventually get books and comics for the time gap between TLJ and TROS that will explain exactly what Rey did. Since she’s a scavenger, and mechanically inclined around junk, my feeling right now is, it’s possible she might have gone on a journey for a new kyber crystal and she’s repurposed the hilt. Which I think could be symbolically interesting….almost saying she’s “her own person (crystal)” on the inside now, but externally carrying on the outward mantle of her teacher/master Luke.

Which leads me to: by now, you’ve probably heard the theory that the last name “Skywalker” might transform to a term for the henceforth new Jedi. Personally, I am a fan of this theory. I think it would be useful for keeping the Star Wars eras straight when referencing any potential future Star Wars films/books/comics. For example, instead of saying “post-Skywalker trilogies,” one could say this-or-that takes place during the Jedi era or the new Skywalker era, etc (as well as, hopefully, the Knights of the Old Republic era someday soon).

AND, if Rey dubs herself (and perhaps any future students she has) a Skywalker….then, well, oddly enough, it would fulfill the whole Rey is a Skywalker discussion in the most interesting way possible. (While also keeping the plot open for her to choose whomever *coughcough* Ben Solo *coughcough* she would like to romantically be with someday.) It could potentially mean anyone could be a Skywalker. I’m a Skywalker. You’re a Skywalker. We’re Skywalker. Sign me up.

Luke is everybody’s spiritual father. (And I guess Vader is everybody’s grandfather??)

And, on a kinda odd note, being a Caravan-of-Courage-baby and a long-time SW fan, thinking of the name Skywalker, does anyone else think it sounds like a talent? Or is my brain just connecting Moonwalking with Skywalking? I guess, technically, Rey isn’t Skywalking here, right? It’s more like Skyjumping? Skyflipping? Maybe she’s really a Skyflipper. Part dolphin.

But I slightly digress, back to the trailer.

When this scene hit, I initially thought, from a distance, the TIE was a TIE bomber. Haha, silly me. 

I have fond memories of the TIE bomber toys Revan/Devan had as a kid.

Yay, Lawrence of Arabia will be returning to theaters Sept. 1st and 4th, presented by TCM! I did a middle school history report over Lawrence. Mostly because I wanted to learn about desert warfare so I could write better Star Wars fan fiction. It’s all about Star Wars, people. It always has been.

Now, that’s what I call TIE racing!

Sweet butter tacos, by now I have paused these scenes over and over trying to decide if this is Kylo Ren and/or if the scenes match or they’ve been sliced much like the TLJ trailer. 

HAHA. You trailer editor people are so good. You did it just enough to make me crazy until December. THANKS.

But, I guess it’s safe to say, in this sequel trilogy, when the camera zooms to black gloves, it’s probably Kylo.

Gee, these two just can’t flirt normally. It’s like they thought, “Oh what can we do on our date that hasn’t been done before?” “Oh, I know, let’s play chicken with the TIE Fighter!”

No, in all seriousness, as it’s been said before many times now, this would be a really strange way to try to take Rey out…

Wouldn’t Kylo be a man and just face her? He hasn’t been afraid to face people before.

And, I don’t know…some people I know are hoping that they are working together somehow, which I hope they are, don’t get me wrong,…but at the moment, I just can’t think of why Rey would need to jump on a TIE Fighter/Kylo’s TIE. (Mind out of the gutter!) I mean, if they are working together, practicing even, for some Force trick/feat that needs doing to destroy or infiltrate something, it looks like she could have climbed on the TIE before it took off?

I mean the Interwebs might tell you that she needs to practice her jumping so she can have the high ground later, but I still don’t know.

It could be a dream/vision. Simple enough.

It could be that ForceTime is acting really weird?

Did we really understand or have all the rules of ForceTime in TLJ? Could it be if ForceTime connects and Rey and Kylo hold-on to another they can pull each other to a different location? So for instance, if Rey jumps on the TIE she could be transported to where Kylo is?

That would mean there was a reason Luke told them to stop. Did he know either Kylo would be pulled to Ahch-To in the flesh or Rey would end up at the First Order (before she totally left in the Falcon for the First Order)?

Dunno. That could be getting too “beam-me-up-Scotty” or too “magical” for SW. We’ll see. I’m open to most things so long as they’re done well.

Alternatively, because Caps and I have also been reading SW comics for a few years now, I think it’s also possible that Kylo could be possessed here. 

As in, someone:

Like monkey-hands here, or whomever monkey-hands works for (Palps, Hux, The Resistance, KOR), took Kylo’s helmet and added Sith-y stuff to it.

I want to lean towards the idea of an enemy/frenemy of Kylo’s changing his helmet. I thought it was a little unusual that Kylo would go back to wearing the helmet after smashing it. I mean, character-wise, I figured it would remind him of Snoke’s taunts. It seemed like a step backward. Like going back to a security blanket after you’ve gotten over needing it. Dunno, are they going to capture him and force him to wear it? Making him Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs to get him out of the way?

BUT, there again, I guess, I could stretch my imagination and believe that Kylo, might, might, go back to wearing his helmet on his own, if he thought there was some power or knowledge to be gained. And, either, earnestly, he did it to himself or it was a TRAP!

And possibly, in this scene, possessed Kylo is about to crash wherever Rey is, but she saves him by cutting open the hatch, etc? 

(She’s learned to lift rocks, but could she stop a TIE via the Force and climb in and save someone? Maybe, but it, arguably, wouldn’t look as cool or dramatic). And if that were the case, Kylo would be in some serious debt to Rey for saving his life. Girl already spared him once. Twice, if you count she didn’t run him through on Starkiller Base.

Anyways, back to reviewing the trailer chronologically.

Somehow this reminds me of the Lost City of Atlantis. Was there a city on Bespin below Cloud City? According to Wookiepedia Bespin is a cloudy place. Sooo, could be Lando’s entrance in the movie, possibly.

Did I read somewhere that Kylo is tackling a Knight of Ren here? (Double checked and yes.) That’s interesting. I could come up lots of out-of-the-hat-theories as to why. KOR turns against him. Kylo turns against KOR. KOR Civil War? KOR Battle Royale where the survivor of the Hunger Games gets to be Master?

But what’s really interesting, is the fact that Kylo doesn’t slice the guy in two pieces with the lightsaber.

And that, to me, also spawns some theories. Is the tackle just a cinematic scene to show Kylo’s strength? Maybe Disney doesn’t want to go “Darth Maul-ing” people in two pieces? Kylo, for some reason, isn’t killing people on this particular day or any more at all? Or Kylo’s in a super rush and is more focused on getting a certain location in a hurry and whatever, guy was in the way? It made me concerned, mmm, can’t Kylo use the Force in this scene? He isn’t Force Pushing or Freezing the guy?

This week on “This Old Helmet,” Norm and guys add detailing to a once dilapidated helmet. Yup, it was a real fixer-upper. If Mr. Monkey doesn’t work for some VIP, he’s a really strange janitor.

Ok, Finn and Poe are going to, canon, start a boy band in TROS, right? This is a scene from their KPOP-ish music video, right? “‘Cause I want it that way…” If they don’t dance, so help me Star Wars...I’ll make them in a fanvid.

To be honest, I’m not sure if I like D/O yet. The jury is still out for me. Mostly because I thought some of the other concept designs were much cuter. Although, I can’t wait to see the Droid Builders tackle this one. I’m still stuck on a mouse droid.

Aww, yeah, welcome back Lando! Mr. Smoothie! (I wish he’d been apart of TFA and TLJ, but better late than never.) I know, I know the ship should be Chewie’s now, but I secretly hope that Lando is able to donate money to restore the Falcon, like an old classic car. *coughcough* Reylo Wedding Gift *coughcough*

Hmm, moisture farm or temple? Guess we’ll see. I’m loving that the troops possibly have jetpacks and/or sand-speeders?

Dunno, after the whole Rambo C3P0 poster, I’m wondering if someone’s after C3P0 here? BB and R2 have had their “find-that-droid” day, maybe it’s C3P0’s turn?

Aww, the medal. Sweet medal. 

I can give you some out-of-the-hat ideas about this, too. Maybe this is Han’s. Maybe it’s in Leia’s collection of memories and she takes it out for nostalgia, to feel close to Han in spirit, or for the anniversary of his death. Maybe she’s decided to give it to someone else? Or, worst-case scenario, the Resistance needs gold and this is all they got left?

Or, this is Luke’s? And ditto on everything. Maybe Luke left it behind before he left for Ahch-To? Maybe he gave it back to Leia? Or maybe Leia and company find more of Luke’s belongings elsewhere? Maybe Luke was using it as a bookmark in one of the Jedi Texts?

Goodness. When the trailer hit Celebration, this scene filled my heart with the greatest bittersweet joy. 

I’m really glad that the extra/reworked footage of Carrie as Leia looks good. That it will uphold her legacy. It’s been on my mind ever since her passing.

In fact, I was so caught up in being happy that the footage looks great, at first, I didn’t stop to think why Leia and Rey are hugging?

And, at first, I was so vicariously being Rey while watching the trailer, hugging Leia with my own emotional fan tear, that I didn’t consider why is Rey crying?

Well, theory-wise it could be a number of things. Rey and Leia have really bonded, and maybe Rey’s about to go on a dangerous mission? Or the Resistance has had a major setback?

But, I think one of the biggest, most emotional, thing both Rey and Leia have in common is:

Yup. Benny Boy.

And, this thought/feeling opens up a whole new can.

Um, have they heard something about Kylo/Ben that’s upsetting? And, if so, would this scene take place early or late in the film? I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors that Kylo/Ben might not be making it out of this one entirely. Dunno, to me, it almost feels like Rey’s upset that she’s failed at something. I guess, especially, because it’s extra/reworked footage of the reaction to Han’s death.

Again, with the band! It’s like a 90s Alternation Rock cover!

My question is: What is in Rey’s hand? Is it a bag? What’s in the bag? Is she carrying the Jedi text or some other special item? Is it a device? What sort of device?

Have they all been camping? ‘Cause Finn and Poe have bags, too. Do they got thermal detonators in there?

I’m assuming, since they look more angry/focused than shocked, that their on some sort of mission to find this broken piece of Death Star II? That their purpose is to go inside? Or destroy the rest of it? Either way, if I learned anything from Wind Waker, it doesn’t look like a good day for sailing towards it.

Now, in the split second when Luke says “no one’s ever really gone” again…I wanted to believe we were going to get a Force Ghost reveal. Or that possibly, the-Force-killed-Luke was just social media red herring.

I never dreamed that laugh….

Chilled me to the bone.

The biggest “oh Sh*$” moment of my movie trailer watching life.

 Ooo the possibilities. More thoughts on Emperor Palps’ return later.

Until then my Reylos and Star Wars friends, May The Force Be With You!

[animezinglife]

It saves a ton of money. I’m glad I started to enjoy it in college and had fully found my rhythm by the time I got to grad school. Also, don’t let anyone tell you keeping frozen or canned options don’t count. They absolutely do. I always have canned vegetables on hand, canned beans, and frozen vegetables. There’s a lot you can do with them and they absolutely do keep, and I always opt for the Great Value or store brands. 

There’s also no shame in frozen or even canned meats. I always keep some canned chicken breast on hand (again, because it keeps and I’m also finicky in terms of my mood on what I’ll want to eat on the day-to-day basis). I prepped a healthy spin on chicken taco casserole today (perks of working remotely once a week) using canned chicken and it turned out phenomenal. I seasoned the absolute daylights out of it of course, and it was cooked with also-canned hatch green chiles but with everything else (chopped onions, cilantro, tomatoes, rice, lettuce, etc.) all being fresh. I cook for one so I always have enough to make two meals out of my dishes.

There’s no shame in sheet pan dinners, one-skillet options, or the good, old-fashioned crockpot. Especially as it gets colder, I’m a big believer in crockpot cooking. I’ve got this new recipe my Czech friend gave me with pork that I absolutely can’t wait to try (she’s made it for us at work before and it knocked my socks off...and it’s literally a “dump it all into the crockpot and wait” recipe).

The biggest mental hurdle I had to overcome when I started cooking was that it had to be complicated or that everything had to be from scratch. I’d get frustrated if I didn’t use up ingredients in time, and I got far more efficient at choosing things I could use for a wide variety of meals instead of limited options.

I work with a couple of dietitians and not a single one of them is above dumping frozen Walmart shrimp and some veggies on a sheet pan and throwing it into the oven. 

This week was an “out of everything” week from coffee to condiments, and in total ended up spending $150 (with $45 of that being for my expensive allergy medication I have to have to function). That’s still significantly less than I’d be spending going through drive-thrus or dining out. That $105 towards food gets me about about 12 days of meals (three per day), coffee, and keeps me well-fed in all healthy food groups. Now personally, I never buy only frozen veggies or fruits, but they’re absolutely a great option to have on hand.

I also want to add this caveat, though: take into account the things it might actually be cheaper to buy from a restaurant or store already made. For me, that might be a couple of donuts or cookies. I keep a nutrient-dense, lean, and low-sugar diet throughout the work week and don’t care to buy any dishes just to make items I might have once a month or once on the weekends. I’ll just cough up the $3.00 for a few donuts from the local shop on those rare days I crave them instead of buying ingredients and dishes to make them in.

Broke college student tip:

Learn to love cooking. Like get into it. Enjoy it. Get excited to cook. Why? When you learn to cook and enjoy it you'll save money. Lots of money. And you'll be eating better, healthier food too.

For example. I'm eating seafood and veggie pasta right now with a white wine cream sauce. In a restaurant, this would be a fancy meal, costing $20 or so for a small portion. Literally cost me like $5 or so in ingredients to make. And like 20 minutes to cook. And I made enough for lunch AND dinner. When you know how to cook you can make cheap foods taste amazing.

Here's some advice how to make this easier:

Buy frozen things. Frozen veggies, frozen fruits, frozen meats, etc. Frozen lasts longer and saves you money and stress.

Have basic herbs and spices on hand. Salt, pepper (red, black, and white), thyme, rosemary, basil, garlic powder, onion powder, turmeric, bay leaf (chopped is best), cinnamon, paprika, cumin, and sage are my most commonly used ones!

Common recipe ingredients to keep on hand: pasta, rice, lemon/lime juice, garlic, onion, white wine, frozen veggies, potatoes, frozen meats, sugar, butter, pasta sauces, tomatoes, eggs, soda/pineapple juice/beer (great for marinades or cooking meat).

Frozen things when stored properly can be stored for a couple months and portioned out making quick meals easy!

Learn flavor profiles. Citrus, basil, rosemary, butter, salt, garlic, and onion are all fairly universal in their uses while things like cumin and turmeric have a stronger, earlier flavor and are great for stews, curries, pastas, soups, and sauces!

Learn to shop. If it's non-perishable and bogo, get it! Bogo (buy one get one) is basically half off and now you have two things for when you need it! Walmart brand pasta is like $0.98 a box. You can also get a bag of frozen extra small shrimp at Walmart for like $5 and there's about 50 in a bag. Shop non-perishable items by weight (price per ounce) and perishables by size.

Pasta sauce can be put in the freezer and if stored well can keep for like 3 months!

Sauté your veggies! They taste so good that way!!! A little butter, garlic, rosemary, and onion. Sprinkle with salt after and viola!

It's easy to fall into a food rut, so treat yourself every now and then with something different or challenge yourself by limiting yourself to 5 ingredients or something to make you exercise your skills.

Make your own barbecue sauce. It's so fun! All you need is molasses, ketchup, brown sugar, and whatever you want to customize it. I usually put honey and bourbon in mine.

Go on pinterest and find easy recipes! The great thing about a recipe is every single one you see is customizable and was made to the cooker's preference. You don't like mushrooms? Don't put them in and add something earthy and unami like turmeric or sumac in its place.

Tofu is easier than you think.

Rice is very filling and goes with most everything.

Keep fresh herbs fresh by putting them in water. You might even root and grow your own!

Frozen fruits are amazing for marinades or more "tropical" tasting recipes. Frozen citrus and pineapple are great for making a citrus chicken and rice! Just defrost in a bowl and then add the chicken to the bowl.

Tortillas are amazing and keep for a while in the fridge.

Print out recipes and keep them in a binder so you make notes and changes directly on the paper!

[mcjour]

Sooo 

I never heard back Friday

a bunch of people were like well maybe they’re taking their time, maybe it’s slow getting paperwork, etc but I’m like nah I know I didn’t get it, you don’t need to prepare that much for a verbal offer lmao

But as I was waiting, I actually got 2 different emails inviting me to interview! So that helped soften the blow lol

I still haven’t heard from the first place and it’s now been over a week. Like I said, was okay but not my best interview, school seemed nice, but pay awful. So I’m definitely not up at night wondering about it... whatever lol

The principal at the other school, the one I really wanted, replied to my “thanks for interviewing me” email on monday. confirming that i was in fact rejected LOL. but it was honestly the kindest rejection i’ve ever received/ seen ever. basically being like i was great, she wished she could hire me, but went with someone with a little more experience. and that she passed my resume on to the district and someone from the district would be in touch. !!!! like... she really didn’t have to do that! she could’ve ghosted me (rude lol) or just been like sorry we chose someone else bye. but she actually took the time to be kind and help me?

which also kinda was a gut punch solidifying she would’ve been great to work with LOL. also she looked a lot like my favorite high school teacher which was a weird.... sign?

anyway i wonder if that lady was just being nice to me or if she did this to everyone or what LOL. 

like i don’t think she will ever realize how much that means to me. not even so much about trying to secure another job (although... yes obviously that is important). but just that this stranger would put in that effort to help me get out of the rut i am in (NOT that she knows about that obviously did not give my traumatic life story in an interview lol). or that my last job treated me like trash, but even though this woman has never actually worked with me, she is still advocating for me and my abilities? just such a big difference

anyway this district lady emailed me on friday (before the rejection lol) and i was like huh?????????? who is this and why is she wanting to interview me ???? (i mean i had a gut feeling it was somehow related to the other job, but didn’t quite put the puzzle together). she wanted to do a virtual interview on monday but monday came and went and ?????????????? LOL so i was like uhhhhhh? i was going to email her to follow up but i kinda procrastinated because i hate writing professional emails and i have no idea how i would word a “uhhhh are you still interested??” email. anyway she replied today and apparently we will interview tomorrow... we will see.....

i’m just a bit confused about this whole thing though. like ok, there are other similar positions at other schools in the district. so... what’s this lady gonna do about it!!!! (hypothetically) is she going to place me in a random ass school????  like idk what if she wants me in a school that nobody else wants to work in lol. i have standards too. so will she take my preferences since i guess i am in a district pool? but am i the only person in the pool? and what about the principals? interviews are great for talking about experience and why you’re qualified and all that, but it’s also kinda a fit thing. so idk how she would place me? or if i would have to do MORE interviews with the prinicpals??? please no ,more interviews lol

does my resume have an edge now that a principal has vouched for me (again, without actually working with me lol)

the other interview will be in the district i grew up in!! i feel very confident about it actually. it’s not at the school i went to, totally the other side of town, so it’s fresh to me, but still somewhat familiar. (and literally fresh in that the whole building was completely redone, like built a brand new building and tore down the old one kind of redone). 

i feel confident because a) my confidence is growing with each interview (i mean didn’t i just say a random lady was vouching for me LOL). b) just numbers lol. the email i got made it seem like they are trying to fit interviews into a single afternoon. well you can’t fit very many interviews in a single afternoon (especially if they go by school working hours- like ending at 3:30pm not going to 5pm!) (and i think i’m the first interview of the afternoon lol) and it looks as though there are 3 open positions. now obviously that doesn’t guarantee anything but uhhh those are some good #s. c) i keep people in my life updated on my job search and one of those people is my old 4th grade teacher. i mentioned the interview and she was like oh i know the AP bla bla bla you can tell her i say hi. So namedropping haha. d) same teacher has told me they have trouble filling these positions/ keeping them filled (which i know isn’t GREAT but right now i am just looking to secure a job... i can always leave if it sucks. i’ve heard it’s more a problem with the pay than the job itself... i think they are negotiating a contract right now so fingers crossed) and like here i am ready to fill one! 

so i kinda was like ok very high chance they hire me, very high chance i end up working there (just want a job at this point!). i feel mixed about that possibility. well first don’t count chickens before they hatch..... but really reflecting on what i want isn’t bad. i think it will be weird to return to a town i wanted for so long to leave (though that was NOT necessarily the town itself... but it is true i didn’t ever really fit in). idk it’ll be nice to work in a school with resources and broaden my experiences I guess. but idk how different it will be from my old job. like i don’t wanna be prejudiced but like are these kids gonna be mean, entilted, etc? i don’t remember that far back (lol also... the kids i worked with before WERE plenty rude themselves)

but my mom today was like i know you are ~blinded by nostalgia~ but you should take the other job since it pays more money. first of all, i haven’t gotten any offers at all so there isn’t even any choice to make yet. second of all, huh?????????? when did i say i wanted this job? i mean, yes i want it in the sense that i want any of the jobs i applied for. but like do i want it more than the other job? meh. i’m very excited for the interview but that is because i think it might finally be an offer, but the way it came out it sounded like she thought i was like horny for the district like no i just want a job. if it happens to be near where i grew up, cool i guess. like i didn’t even go to this school! it’s a cool school, would be happy to work there, but ?????????????????? i just want employment

once again i don’t want to get my hopes up. i really loved that one school and thought the interview was good and that the numbers game was good too, but that didn’’t work out. i don’t wanna get my hopes up for any of these jobs. don’t need to crush myself anymore than usual lol

[fraddit]

I know I’ve already posted like 47 times today about trying to write fic, BUT I installed Scrivener to try it out.  And, I hope I’m not counting all the chickens before they hatch or jumping the gun or whatever other idiom you like, but this feels like a fucking game changer.   So, I’m posting a little about here, in case anyone has been considering it or didn’t know about it.

For anyone unfamiliar with the program, it’s basically a word processor but with a shitload of extra features geared toward anyone writing something with any sort of complexity, a novel, short story, non-fiction book, really big essays, etc.  Pictured above are the two features that I, so far, think are “game changing” for me personally: the cork board view and the outliner view.  The first view, which I haven’t shown, is the document view where you actually type shit like in Microsoft Word.

Anyway, take this fic I’ve been vaguely laboring on for over a year now.  I just finished putting everything I’ve had so far into the program, and this is the result.  I started on the cork board and made a note card for each scene I knew I would need.  Each card automatically creates a separate document for each scene and you can move them around and shit.  It was great, and a super wonderful way to get me thinking about all the parts I’d need to include.  You can color code them and stuff (I’ve got black cards and lavender cards) and lots of other handy organizational things.

The outliner view makes it really easy to see your progress.  You can customize all those columns.  I took the time to set a very rough word count for each scene, and now it shows me how close to completion each scene is.  Also, I learned that apparently this fic is likely to be in the ballpark of 10-15k, and that is fucking bonkers.

The reason this all feels so game changing to me is that suddenly this stupid thing that’s been just looming at all times in the back of my mind has been broken up into all these little chunks.  I know, you can do all this same stuff without Scrivener’s help, but clearly I needed the extra assistance, since I never did it on my own.  I’m seriously hopeful that now I’ll be able to tell myself, “self, you just type some shit for THIS scene and then you’re done for the day” and that maybe that will make things actually happen.  Time will tell, fingers crossed, all that jazz.

The program also has all sorts of extra tabs and shit for organizing research and leaving notes and junk.  If you’re interested in learning more, I found this video overview pretty helpful in getting the gist of what Scrivener has to offer.

[yourjughead]

Legacy Part.6

Jugheadxreader

Warnings: Long, Swearing, mentions of violence and blood (essentially just the initiation scene) and sin...so much sin (it's been awhile)

A/N: please enjoy and send your feedback! I'm in the process of writing another Sweet Pea fic since you all seem to like that so much! I'm very unceratain about making a part 7, very tempted to be cruel and leave it on a cliffhanger hahaha

-----------------------------

Jugheads POV

“Nope, no Jughead,no, you're not allowed, nope, no” she was still telling me no when we met up the following day at the Southside’ answer to Pop’, Mamas. I just laugh in return, her face still serious.

“Ah come on yn, how bad can it be?”

“Well its not what i would like to spend my Saturday doing”

“Well i have to do it, I’m done being known as Legacy”

“You should be proud of that title, it means your family worked hard enough for the Serpents that you and your kids are set for life”

“Hah don't think my kids will be in the Serpents”

“Why not?” her tone was testing. Oh god.

“Umm”

“See this is another reason why you shouldn't do the Initiation. You can’t be half a Serpent, you can't be a serpent when it suits you. You're either with us or against us and I’m not sure how long the gang will tolerate you sitting on the fence before they push you off it”

I looked up at her sincere, beautiful eyes, eyes I find myself falling for more every time i see them.

“Jug, I don't know how long I can tolerate it, the Serpents are my blood and my bond” her eyes saddened then.

“So you do want me to do the Initiation?”

“I want you to get off the fence...take that however you want” she slid out of the booth and headed out. Always one for the dramatics, still her words struck me. It's time to get off the fence, it's time to become a Serpent.

I decided I’d try to keep it from yn for as long as possible, it’d be a nice surprise. I asked Toni to tutor me for the week leading up to my tests, it involved a lot of shouting and a very serious Toni. She had agreed to keep my decision to herself and from yn, which I knew she hated deeply.  

-

With the addition of a new family dog, rules learned and screamed and a new snake bite decorating my hand, I was almost there and had just the last bit to go. It was grueling but as everyone liked to remind me, not a grueling as the next part.

Rain hit me along with a number of Juniors. Blow after blow was dealt to me as I walked through the trench of Serpents. Pain aching throughout was nothing compared to the pain of the one single, brass knuckled, punch gifted to me by Sweet Pea. Just when I thought we could be friends.

Knocked clean to the floor, I was ready to give up. Then i saw YNs dad, the reigning leader, look at me on the ground from the sidelines. This is not how he's going to see me, this is not how I want yn to hear how this went. I pushed myself off the ground, my blood swirling with the dirt, already injured shoulder throbbing. I came shoulder to shoulder with Sweet Pea. He simply held out a hand that I took and I knew it was over. Toni smiled at me, holding out the infamous leather jacket.  I took it from her gingerly and put it on over my blood tainted vest.

“Hmm, FP Jr. lives up to his father's reputation” i hear the familiar sound of YNs dads brash tone. I nod in his direction, afraid to speak incase I say the wrong thing and get shot...again. Wow I’m having a great year.

“Welcome to the Serpents kid” he said before turning and heading off in the direction of the Whyte Wyrm, followed closely by a gaggle of gang members.

“Wow YDN never comes to initiations...then again it's not often we initiate a Legacy, especially one belonging to the infamous FP Jones” Fangs looks me up and down.

“Welcome to the family Leag-Jughead” Sweet Pea smirks. He definitely loved punching me but I think I've gained more of his respect.

-

3rd Person

“Hey YN” Yn dropped the bat she held as she answered her trailer door, a hand going to her mouth and the other gently to my swollen eye.

“Oh my god, who do we need to kill?” her eyes were wide, matching my grin.

“Sweet Pea”

“Sweet Pea?!” she leaned down and caught her bat again, ready to bury it in Sweet Peas head I assume. I chuckled lightly, finding the action adorable. I think it showed me how much she cared, she was willing to bludgeon her second.

“Woah steady on there Joe DiMaggio” ((I don't know baseball, it's not a thing in Ireland soo sorry diehards)) I laughed, taking the bat from her hand and stepping inside.

Her trailer was not what I had expected, and I think my intense inspection made her nervous. Felt nice not to be the nervous one for once.

“Your dad doesn't live here?” I looked around the trailer with the same layout as my own.

“No, I live by myself, the trailer was a present for my birthday two years ago. Every leader needs an office after all” she teased before going into the kitchen to get a bag of frozen peas and a first aid kit destined for me while I sat on the couch.

“So emm what happened? Why’d Sweet Pea hit you...and why can’t I hit him?” she sat cross legged next to me, taking a close look at my injuries.

“Because I got off the fence”

“What” she laughed in confusion, touching my swollen eye delicately again. I flinched slightly but didn’t completely pull from her. I want to be this close, if not closer, to her always.

“Well, I have a new pet dog and a snake kissed my wrist” I smirked.

“What” she laughed while cleaning a cut on my cheek. It stung like a bitch but I wasn't about to let her see that.

“I know it stings like a bitch Jug no need to hide it” i chuckle lightly at her.

“Trying to come off as tough as possible now that I’m a full Serpent” her hand dropped from my face and she looked at me confused.

“You didn't…” she raised a brow

“I did”  “Jug...”  “I thought you'd be happy? I got off the fence like you wanted!”

“Jug..”

“Is that not what you wanted?!”

“Jug stop talking” I was about to disobey when she reached and connect her lips to mine.

3rd Person

You pushed Jughead back further on the couch until you were straddling him, both meeting in hungry, lustful kisses. Jugheads hands gripped your hips as you ran your fingers through  his hair. He groaned slightly under you at the sensation of you tilting your head to deepen the kiss.

“Jug, Bed. Now” you could just about manage between kisses, he nodded quickly before pulling you back in again, desperate for the electricity you supplied to him. You stood up, Jughead still connected to you as you pulled him into your room after stopping along the way to be pressed against the door frame.

Taking charge of the situation, as leaders should, you pushed him backwards onto the bed. You climbed on top of him again, pushing down on him slightly to feel the sweet friction again. The feeling of his hardness against you was driving you both crazy. Jughead pushed your head up to get more access to your neck, biting and sucking, littering your skin with dark purple marks. You pulled your shirt over your head and let jughead nip at your chest.

“Careful Jug, I’ll help you” you carefully pulled jugheads jacket off and then his shirt came over his head to reveal a white medical plaster ((band-aid etc)) covering his war wound.

“You got shot for me”

“Yeah”

“You joined the Serpents for me”

“Yeah”

“Ive done nothing for you”

“You let me get to know you....you noticed me and that is worth much more than a bullet” he pulled you down again before unclipping your bra and throwing it in any which direction. You pulled his jeans down and ran your hand along his member causing him to groan.

“My turn to be leader yn, take a break” he flipped you quickly but carefully as to not hurt his shoulder. He pulled your jeans from you and you dug your nails into his back.

“Are you sure yn?” you handed him a condom

“Yes Jug, please” he slipped it on with your encouragement and he shifted inside of you then and you both let out a whimper. He began to move slowly at first before picking up the pace, causing your back to arch. Jugheads breath hitches as your hips begin to snap together. He returns to your neck as your nails dig deep into his shoulders, your hips now bucking involuntarily. You moan his name as he guides your hips again, you enjoying his control.

“Fuck me yn” he groaned at the feeling of your walls tightening around him. You wrapped your legs around his waist encouraging him to go deeper, faster. He happily obeys as you both are breathless, only moans and one another's names leaving your lips. The band in your stomach began stretching to breaking point.

“Jug I’m so close” “Please come for me yn” the band snapped instantly at the sound of your name on his breathless lips. His hand reached to rub your clit harshly sending you into overdrive, screaming his name. This pushed him over his own edge. His movements became sloppy but still managing to force you into overstimulation, you still riding out your high. He grunted finally, staying in you for a moment longer, riding out his high with you around him.

In a completely breathless state he dropped to your side while you pulled the covers up around you, legs shaking and highs still being enjoyed. You both laid flat on your backs staring at the tin roof.

“Oh my god” you finally sighed before laughing lightly.

“I only had to go through two ambushes, get shot once, adopt a slobbering beast, get shouted at... practically always, get bitten by a snake and then beaten up my multiple guys and have you annoyed with me countless times but finally I got the girl” Jughead laughed

“Wouldn't count your chickens before they hatch”

“Trust me yn, they're fucking hatched” you both started laughing before curling into each other. “So like are you my girlfriend now orrrrrr?” it was a risky enough question.

“I don't know Jughead, I don't really do the relationship thing…”

“Oh” you glance up at his extremely disappointed face as he does his best not to show it.

“I guess there's a first time for everything though…” you smirk hard but it could never match his beaming grin.

“But you have to realise I’m still your leader and what I say goes with regards to the gang and if i feel even slightly confined or smothered, I’m gone.”

“Okay that's fair I guess….girlfriend” you chuckled lightly. Curling into each other again

Jugheads phone buzzed livelily in his discarded jacket pocket alongside the bed. Your red alarm clock shined 1am. The sound of the vibration woke you both. You nodded to reassure him it was okay but when the name Betty glowed into view your stomach turned.

-------------------------------------------

Much love Xx

Tag: @sunshine51879 @deanilostmyshoe

@goshdarnitthatsalongname

@svenjafangirlt

@bradfordsgreekgod

[copperbadge]

If you don't want to open this jar of annelids, I won't blame you at all, but... As a professional fundraiser, do you have any opinions about Jane Sanders' legal troubles? Particularly, I'm thinking about the concerns about how donor funds and bequests were handled. That was a big deal in the local media around the time that she originally resigned, but got swallowed up later in squabbles about personality clashes and the relative value of real estate.

Well, just a reminder, I am not technically a professional fundraiser – I don’t meet donors or deal directly with solicitations, so I’m less knowledgeable about this kind of thing than, say, a gift officer (who meets with high-net-worth prospective donors and helps structure large gifts). I work with gift officers to target and triage possible new donors. 

That said, I do know a few things about large structured gifts and how they are stored as data, so I have, if not opinions, then at the very least information.

And some opinions, I guess. I’m only human. :D 

(There is a readmore below, read more!)

It’s tough to know without seeing the school’s actual facts financials – which normally might not be that difficult, schools do make that kind of thing public in a limited way. But with Burlington closed and the records in the hands of law enforcement and financial institutions, that’s a no go. From following the story, without being a local or actually involved, it certainly looks like at the very least Jane Sanders mismanaged the school’s existing finances and made some poor decisions. Criminally negligently poor? Harder to say. 

I will say that the poor decisions she made are extremely common poor decisions in higher education. A lot of schools turn to what’s called a “capital campaign” when they want to raise a lot of money fast: they start building on campus, or buying new land for campus extensions, either during the fundraising for the buildings using a line of credit or shortly after raising the funds. In the case of Burlington this was a hugely risky step to take because Burlington had no endowment (basically a savings account earning interest, with the interest as spendable income) on which to rely if things went south, as they obviously did. At a guess I’d say she wanted to start attracting a much wealthier class of student, and the way she went about it was by trying to make Burlington seem much more Ivy League and much less Hippie Haven. 

If I had been in her place, my number one priority would have been an aggressive campaign to build an endowment – though possibly Burlington was the sort of place that aggressively did not want an endowment, it was a very unusual school and endowments come with a lot of issues. A lot of schools currently are under pressure from students, in my opinion rightly so, to divest their endowments from funds that support companies involved or implicated in genocide, ecologically unfriendly activities, weapons manufacture, etc. School administration tends to push back hard because unfortunately those are often the most lucrative investments.

Capitalism. Yum. 

Despite knowing that Burlington’s kind of weird, I would be willing to bet that the board that brought her on hoped she would create an endowment; with her connections and an aggressive team and a little luck, she probably could have built a $100M endowment (respectable for a small college) within ten years. Though, reading some of the articles, they were talking in the $6M range for a campaign, which even for a small university with a minimal fundraising shop seems like a very low bar to set themselves. So it looks like she may have sought the easier road there. I think the board’s hopes for an endowment and her refusal to work on creating one is borne out by the fact that the board claims she wasn’t “attending to fundraising”, but that’s just speculation.  

There’s a lot of talk of how she may have misrepresented pledges made by donors who did give. I don’t know what to make of those, because the wording surrounding those misrepresentations in the news is pretty vague. The problem is that fundraising bodies keep their books in such a way that it often looks to outsiders like they’re misrepresenting income or saying they raised more than they did. This is both for tax purposes on the part of the donor and also for certain methods of tracking that the organization employs. 

For example, a donor pledges $1M, structured to pay out over five years, with perhaps twice-yearly payments of $100K. So the school is, in fact, only getting $100K every January and July. But the pledge was put into a contract and notarized, so it’s a legally binding document (technically, we don’t generally sue people who don’t pay, we just revoke their gift and wish them luck). So the donor can claim the $1M all at once, can get credit in the news by us for the $1M, and we say in our records that they gave $1M “with X outstanding” (X being a number that drops every time they give us $100K). We also get to claim we have that $1M even when we don’t. 

This does occasionally lead to “ghost gifts” – I found one the other day where a guy pledged $10M and then never gave us a dime. In 1982. It even had a note attached to it from 1992, “We think this may be a ghost gift. The paperwork has gone missing sometime in the last ten years.” Presumably that $10M has been wiped off our books. I certainly hope so, anyway.  

We also have what’s called “gift expectations” where we can record what we expect to get from the donor the next time we solicit. That’s not legally our money, naturally, but it is a field in the database, and at a small school like Burlington it’s entirely possible that a gift expectation just…went into the wrong data field. So they said “we expect this person will give us a million dollars next time we ask” and somehow that million got put in the “definitely they said they’d give us this” field instead. I mean it looks like the damn thing was kept on a spreadsheet, so it’s not like it would even be hard for that screwup to happen – our databases generally have failsafes that prevent this kind of error. 

It is entirely possible that Sanders falsified information about giving, or that the information was mistaken, but it’s also possible that what we see as falsification of pledges is really just counting chickens before they’re hatched, and that may have been how the bank read it (and that may also have been how Sanders intended the bank to read it, which circles back around to whether this was intentional). Donors say that they didn’t pledge the amounts that Sanders says they pledged, but donors have been known to abandon sinking ships before now, especially since if a donor said they’d give the school a million and then never gave it, they could be on the hook with the bank for that $700K the bank says Burlington still owes, I’m not sure of the legal situation there. That also depends on whether or not they signed the paperwork and, if so, for what amount (which again, all this is either in the hands of the feds or the bank at this point). 

To be clear, I’m not defending her. I’m just saying, for context, that fundraising book-keeping is fucking weird.

It doesn’t seem as though the land deal itself benefited Sanders personally (I may not have all the info) so while obviously she was well paid in her time at Burlington, I don’t think she threw the college to the wolves to get hers. So it doesn’t appear to be malicious. 

I think in the end it’s evident that Burlington College was in trouble before Sanders got there. She was hired in the hopes it could get out of trouble. It failed because Sanders made spectacularly poor decisions and was backed by a board that was either too weak to protest, too inexperienced to understand what was happening, or too uninvested to care – these things don’t happen in a vacuum and the board should also have put a stop to what she was doing long before it did. 

But I think, most of all, this highlights the plight of small, weird schools like Burlington. With no endowment, with a lowered ability to fundraise because of it, without an elite reputation to attract wealthy students and with a weird student body who probably aren’t making the kind of bank a big school with a business school attached to it is, Burlington was primed for failure in this century. And with universities becoming more monolithic as college degrees become more and more requisite, we will probably see more small schools fail – especially small schools with no endowments or small endowments. It’s like trying to climb out of poverty in a minimum wage job. There’s just no way to get a foothold, and one bad move can close it down for good. 

So I guess uh the moral of the story is, everyone needs an endowment, and if someone tells you they have a Catholic orphanage to sell you, make sure you can cover your debts before you buy it. 

[forcedapotheosis-blog]

Servant of Fate (Part 3)

Hey, so much for uploading one part every day. Well, the best laid plans of mice and men, not counting chickens before they hatch .. etc. But here it is, the third part. This is getting a little more complicated than I actually expected.

The feeling of her touch faded, as did the darkness. When Sanji finally opened his eyes again, a surprising amount of things had changed. So much indeed, that he was overcome by nausea.

He closed his eyes again and began rubbing his temples to get rid of it, and to cope with the fact that he had solid ground beneath his body, no longer the shaking deck of the Thousand Sunny. The rustling the ground made when he moved indicated that he was lying on something rather soft.

Straw?, he slowly thought while regaining his senses. Yes, it was straw, the smell was rather distinct, as was the one of burning tobacco that hit his nostrils only moments after.

“Already awake?”, this time, it was a strangely familiar male voice. It took him a few seconds to realise that the stranger had taken on his male form again, forcing him to open his eyes and come to his feet. Even though he was still feeling slightly confused, his stance was solid again, readying himself for any ambush that might happen.

“At ease, friend. Take a few more seconds to come to your senses, you might need them. Hope you don’t mind that I borrowed one of your cigarettes to pass the time.”, the long-haired man was standing right next to a wooden door. Little by little, more impressions reached his sight. They must have been standing within some kind of a barn or a shack.

Still rubbing his temples, Sanji raised his voice a little. “Careful with that .. don’t wan’t to burn to death in here .. where are we?”

“Well, at least you’re asking half the amount of right questions by now. Please, allow me to welcome you to Cocoyashi Village, ten years ago.”

Cocoyashi .. isn’t that .. Nami-san’s home!

His eyes were open wide and with sheer force of will, he pushed the nausea out of his system, becoming alert.

“That’s not possible! Stop playing your shitty tricks on me.”, his hands balled into fists. Whoever this person was, he or she went too far.

“I told you that you will be given the chance to prove your word’s worth. Now listen to what I have to say, because time is short.”, he was looking at him with the slightest hint of annoyance that also resounded in his words.

“Good. As I already said, this is Cocoyashi Village, on the exact day that the fates lay claim on the life of an innocent. In this particular case, it is a woman.”

To any other person, these words could have meant anything. To Sanji though, Nami’s past was a tragic story that he never, not even for a second, dared to forget.

“Bell-mère? Nami’s mother?”, he still did not fully believe to be here, but just for the off-chance of it, he went with it.

“That is indeed her name. And as I have promised, I will grant you permission to defy fate.. somewhat.”, initially, the implications he made weren’t exactly clear to Sanji, but he got at least some of it.

“Do you mean that I can act within this village?! Is there a chance to save Nami’s mother?”, even though he was still injured from the clash with the Big Mom Pirates, Sanji was fairly certain that he had become strong enough to take on Arlong and his crew. I should spare Hatchan, though., he remembered when recalling the fishmen.

“To somewhat defy fate, my friend. Within reasonable boundaries. There’s a catch to all of it. And if you’d hold your tongue for just a minute, I’d fill you in on those.”, again, slight annoyance was found within his voice while Sanji feared for the worst.

“First off, what do you think will happen if you ease the pain of your navigator’s tragic past? Not to her, I mean, but to you.”, the gears of Sanji’s mind began to work as fast they ever had. Was there so much to take into account? After a few more seconds, it began to dawn on him.

“If .. if I take away her pain by defeating Arlong before he could murder Bell-mère, would I still have a reason to do it in the present?”, the stranger’s smile was enough an answer to confirm his apprehension.

“No, you wouldn’t. Actually, you couldn’t have one, for it would cause a paradox. It’s not the only reason, though. As I have already told you, the fates will claim the life of an innocent today, in this village, within the very minute that the fishman will shoot the mother. No matter what you do, the fates will have their due.”, he sighed and Sanji’s head began to hurt.

“But .. isn’t me being here a paradox in its own right?”, he closed his eyes and began massaging his temples again, this stuff was complicated.

“You’re a bright one, aren’t you? Indeed, it could be. That’s kind of the whole point of bending the rules. When I took you here, I altered your existence .. a bit more than a little, to be perfectly frank. To the point of your crew having another cook and you never having met them. Yes, don’t give me that bland look, you know your captain. Remember his charisma and his will to become the Pirate King, of course they would’ve found another cook, one that your navigator might or might not fall in love with. Not that it matters, though.”

“Altered my existence? What exactly does that mean? Have I ever existed in my own time? Will I have a reason at all to come here? If they have another cook, is it even necessary to do anything here?”, time travel sure was a different beast, even getting a grasp on something connected to it brought back the terribly nauseating feeling.

“You tell me, Pariah. No father, not even a surrogate father, no family, no crew. You’re of the Void now. With all your adventures and feelings being but the passing of an ethereal dream, is there still a reason?”, there it was again, slight interest within the ageless face of the stranger. For a long moment, Sanji was unable to answer. The situation was more complicated than he or the author of this story could have dreamed of. Breathing out slowly, he tried to grasp some of these memories that the stranger called ethereal.

“I .. I remember everything.”, he slowly began, continueing the massage of his temples. “My .. mother, the iron mask .. Zeff and the terrible hunger .. Nami .. my nakama ..”, the headache got stronger, but Sanji’s grasp on his old life did not waver, not even for a moment.

“Impressive. Very impressive. There’s your answer, then. May these memories be your beacon within the Void, Pariah. As long as you remember them, things might not have been fully erased from existence. That is what the something is that is making humanity special! This universe is vast and uncaring, even a lifetime of a hundred years, whatever impact on that might be changing the world is worth nothing on a cosmic scale, but still, through heart and dreams, you manage to cling on to something. Your life, Pariah, is but the blink of an eye. Still, you manage to give yourself purpose. The only way to survive, to be someone, is to provide your own torch in a universe that is indifferent about your very existence.”, the stranger nodded solemnly and took another deep draw from the cigarette.

“I WISH THAT I WAS ADOPTED BY A RICH FAMILY!”, the sudden shout, followed by a door smashed shut, startled Sanji, especially since the voice seemed somewhat familiar.

“Was that Nami-san?!”, he went for the barn’s door to check on her, only to be stopped by the stranger’s grip on his shoulder.

“Yes, it was. Time is marching on, hold out a minute longer because I feel that you’re still not able to see the whole picture. The fates will have their due, my friend. Either they will claim an innocent life today or the consequences .. would be dire.”, he finally let loose of his shoulder and smoked the last bit of the cigarette.

“If I kill Arlong, the fates will have what they want: A dead body!”, Sanji finally shouted at the stranger, but only gained the shaking of his head as an answer.

“Someone innocent. Yes, Arlong would be dead, but he’s not exactly what I’d call an innocent. Even I cannot foresee what would happen, but it ranges from a storm or a cataclysm to destroy Cocoyashi to just about anything. War might sweep over the village, another, even worse pirate might come to pillage and plunder and kill. If you try to deny the fates what is rightfully theirs, you will be paid back in kind.”, the stranger crushed the cigarette under his heels, still staring at Sanji.

“Nami-san and the others will be happy and able to reach their dreams within the time you’ve taken me from if I stay here, right?”, finally, he was able to grasp the whole picture, along with what seemed to be the stranger’s plan since the start of their conversation. He nodded in approval.

“Then the fates will have their due.”, Sanji nearly spat out these words when the stranger finally allowed him to open the door.