#trust me I am full of shame over Being This Way

[datamodel-of-disaster]

Sometimes I’m like, “Nah, I’m not like Those People (TM), I don’t really have sensory issues or anything like that.”

And then I realise that wearing heavily filtering ear plugs on my morning commute reduces my body aches and joint pains by like a factor 10 because normally my body tenses up so much from the unrelenting sharpness of all the ambient noise.

I do have pretty bad sensory issues. I just normalised being in low-level pain all the time.

…

So yeah. If you at any point notice a thread of derisiveness within yourself towards certain nitpicky, cringe, Obviously Neurodivergent types of accommodation…

Chances are you would benefit from that accommodation. Possibly immensely.

[xylomane]

𝙎𝙤... 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙨𝙠 𝙝𝙞𝙢 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖 𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚...

Ft. Diluc Ragnvindr Context: You're bored after he left for work and he called you somewhere at night to ask if you want anything from the malls since he just so happened to stop by one. Teasingly and craving for naught, you ask him to buy you a lingerie. You wonder just what kind he'll pick. Does he even know those...?

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Ｄｉｌｕｃ

"Huh? what's wrong? It's just a lingerie, you're the one with a problem not me." You say nonchalantly through the phone. "B-but listen, okay? I'm not good at this and even if I am-" You dropped the call, not even motivated to listen to anymore of his stammers. He's cute but still. It's been fifteen minutes since you requested him for a lingerie and he's still not convinced to agree? How will you know his favorites now?You can't wait another day. You needed to know his preferences.

Diluc knew to himself that he really didn't mean to disappoint. He just... never saw himself suitable for these kinds of things. He is a gentleman of course, with a name and a status to protect. He can't just show up in a lingerie store and attract some attention, his sex life would be questioned if somebody were to recognize him. (Diluc is famously known as the son of the founder of the most successful wine company in the entire world)

Diluc, knowing himself as a pleaser, didn't want to disappoint you any further so he sends you a text to assure you that he'll make it happen: "I'm sorry darling, I promise I'll get you one. I hope it is to your liking." The moment he hits the 'send' button, he rubs his face and sighs.

Diluc goes straight back inside his black car to drive to one of his most trusted tailors. He has given them many commisions regarding clothing before, and they always come out stunning. He let himself relax over the cushioned seat of his car, picturing whatever kind of reaction you'll have on your face until he arrived at the pavement before the tailor's building.

Diluc tried. He really did. He declined the offer for a designer because he wanted the lingerie designed only by him. If he were to still get a designer for it, it might take a day or two before it gets finished. Plus... it's a little... embarrassing. Diluc gets uneasy just by thinking about it.

Diluc needed it done by midnight and it's currently 10:00pm. He knew he needed to hurry but now that he himself, being known to always have a phrase ready on any occasion, had been explaining for about half an hour to a tailor that felt like he was suddenly speaking gibberish, there's no doubt that the chances of making the lingerie might be delayed.

Finally, the tailor sighed at him, exasperated with all the mind work to understand his stammers. She simply told him, "Paper and pencil. Show me when ready." And she hands him two objects that made Diluc's confidence stutter.

Diluc stares at the paper and he feels his cheeks burn with shame. It felt like his confidence just depleted. He knows full well she's just as stressed as he is because, hearing himself, the conversation did not make any sense. But was it really that bad...? Where the tailor even needed visual aid FROM HIM because he sucked at explaining what he wanted? Diluc isn't one to drown himself in shame anymore, so to save face for himself, he actually got to work.

The tailor had been observing the young man behind the rims of her eyeglasses and goodness- she can tell this man is holding back. At some point, as she stuck different pins on a gown of her own design, she contemplated whether she'd rather ask him what he would like to see on a woman in bed or why he wants to see that on a woman in bed. In the end, she waves the thoughts way. None of her business.

Diluc started drawing, straps and laces here and there... rose patterns? Not bad. Is the crotch area too thin? He asks himself then resorts to erasing the entire sketch of the bottom garment away. Is the fabric transparent? Diluc's eyebrows point down. But... that's a little too... he felt his hands reach to cuddle his length, goodness how is he supposed to-

Diluc really wanted something, but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable so he kept holding himself back and doubting each design. Even when Diluc's head spiraled with ideas, he didn't know which one of these ideas intrigue you the most.

At this point, Diluc doesn't really know where to begin with anymore, his tried everything and it's almost been an hour. He didn't want to delay the lingerie any longer so he just followed his heart in the process. Ok... ribbons. Ribbons? Is that too weird on a lingerie? Surely not. Red lace ribbons? There? Yes, his mind liked those. Attached on what color though? Maybe something baby pink or peach. He needed them in two pieces of course.

Finally, he folded the paper unequally to four, stuffed it in his pocket, and then reached for the tailor to whom he finally said the design to. He didn't hold himself back this time and openly told her of how he wanted the lingerie to look. He wasn't planning to show it, but ended up showing it anyway.

"Good thing you got it done..." The tailor told him, letting out a sigh of relief as she placed measurements on a mannequin. "You sure have grown Master Diluc."

Diluc froze at that phrase. She's not lying nor is she wrong. All Diluc really wanted to feel was the lust in the look of you... breedable and inexperienced before him but of course he can't say that so he realized that after all these thoughts, he cannot talk back. He can't. Like, really. It made him feel so awkward that he had to think of an excuse to get out of the establishment. "I'll wait by the car." He excuses, "Just call me when it's ready. Make sure it's done before midnight." And they assure him that it is to be done quickly for the fabrics have already been chosen for the lingerie.

The tailor throws him one last curious stare behind her eyeglasses and then brings her hand to sew and get back to work while musing the unexpected request. (Last Christmas, Diluc asked the tailor to make a dress for you so she already knows your size)

When Diluc got into his car, he brought both his gloved hands to his face. What. A. Night. He didn't know it was THAT hard to think of a lingerie for you. All those thinking of how you would look on those or how it might terrify you really took a toll on him. He can't disappoint you. He mustn't.

Five minutes of breathing exercises and he would soon realize how less embarassing it actually is. Now that he thinks about it, you probably asked him to buy you a lingerie to see what he wants... if that's the case... then he didn't regret his final design. So long as the lingerie compliments your body and keeps you confident in bed he can just-

Diluc felt himself slightly aroused on his seat. He needed to get home. He opened his phone screen and it greets him with the current time: 11:17pm. Suddenly, there was a knock on his car window. Fortunately, it was the tailor's assistant, telling him to go see the finished product inside. He follows the man towards the establishment and when he does see it, he calmly accepts it.

Diluc got home at around 11:40pm and you were already laying asleep on the bed. Laughingly though, your fingers are way too close to your undergarments and Diluc can't help but muster a chuckle upon seeing you so innocently sleeping after maybe, pleasuring yourself. When he wakes you up, you realize you had accidentally fallen asleep after-

You tried to explain to him, throwing lies upon another lie, until Diluc shows you the custom-made lingerie he prepared for you. Your face burned red as he threw them on your hands. "Wear it." He tells you, "See for yourself." His voice is slightly gruff and yet it is calm and soft. You put it on inside the bathroom and... it had you speechless. The theme is cute but so... revealing. Is Diluc really... into this? The good boy, easily flustered, reserved Diluc you know? Shyly and awkwardly, you walk out of the bathroom.

"Everything is see through..." You mumble and Diluc trails his lips just on your neck to whisper, "You asked for my preferences, didn't you?" His voice was rough with warm heavy breaths tickling your skin. His hands reach to touch the back of your waist and pull you closer.

That night, Diluc was rough but aftercare was still done on both of you. (am legit blushing like a slut here lmfaooo)

Kazuha ver. here

[lavenderbexlatte]

day 13: threesome

nct 2.1k words female reader insert Reader x Johnny Suh x Mark Lee NSFW

🖤 warnings: caught in the act, various mutual crushes, a hint of oral sex, markspeak, i am a johnmark enthusiast and you all must enter hell with me🖤

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He wasn't supposed to be home.

That was the whole point of waiting until this weekend to finally, finally make a move on Mark. You'd been trying it for ages, and he was always interested right back, but there were things standing in your way, not least of which being his roommate.

But this weekend, his roommate is supposed to be out of town. His very hot roommate. His roommate who definitely didn't kindly but firmly turn you down your freshman (his junior) year at uni, and who definitely hasn't been spotted getting cozy with Mark himself at not one, not two, but three parties this quarter. No way, no how.

He's not supposed to be home, this weekend, see.

And yet, here you are, down to your bra and your jeans in Mark's room, Mark standing frozen with his t-shirt pulled halfway over his head, both just staring at the vision in the doorway.

You hadn't closed the door because why would you? Home alone and all.

Johnny wears insufferable so terribly well, as he smiles at you and Mark in your compromising positions.

"What's this?"

"Hyung!" Mark laughs, overly loud and uncomfortable but not quite fake. "Hey! What's...wassup?"

"I asked you first."

You feel like you should say something, but then again, you can't think of anything to say that would make things better. Only worse. You compromise by saying nothing.

"Oh, haha," Mark, in a moment of spectacularly poor judgement, takes the shirt all the way off rather than putting it back on. "Well. Like."

"Nice to see you," Johnny says, glancing at you like it's an afterthought.

You nod in kind, still not trusting your mouth.

"Whaaaaaat are you doing home so early?" Mark asks.

The answer is casual, shrugged. "Water main burst."

"Whoa," Mark frowns. "And, like, flooded? The..."

"Cabin," Johnny supplies. "I should be drinking a nice smoky red with Ten and Jaehyun in the mountains right now, but instead..."

He waves his hand at the two of you.

"Ha. Free show, at least?" Mark says weakly.

You're suddenly very, very aware that you're not wearing a shirt.

"Free show," Johnny agrees slowly.

Finally, you find your tongue, and your filter. It's like the spell on you is broken, and you glance around, half-crazed. Your shirt can't have gone far-

"I'm sorry," you say, leaning down to retrieve your shirt from under Mark's desk (did he really throw it full-force?). "Sorry, I'll - let me get dressed and-"

"What's the hurry?" Johnny asks.

You're clutching your shirt over your chest, but you do pause to just kind of stare at him. "I mean, I'm kind of not wearing..."

"I noticed."

"Me either," Mark says, meditatively, like he's just noticed it.

Johnny looks at him with that expression he usually wears, when things relate to Mark. Exasperation, and just the softest, most half-melted affection.

"Noticed that, too," Johnny says.

"Sorry 'bout this," Mark says, this time. "You were supposed to be gone all weekend, didn't think there'd be any problem."

"There's no problem," Johnny replies.

Mark shrugs. "We were kinda gonna hook up and you kinda walked right into it, dude, it's a problem on some level."

That's true, but him saying it so plainly has your face absolutely burning in shame.

"Nah," Johnny insists.

"We could have closed the door," Mark considers.

"Are you guys going to...continue?"

Excuse you?

Mark shrugs again, limp shoulders. "Dude."

"I was thinking I could stick around," says Johnny lightly.

There's no way.

There's no way he means what it sounds like he means. You've entered another dimension. You actually died sometime back and this is your personal purgatory, sentenced to die of embarrassment over and over in front of the hottest uncoolest people you've ever met.

You're too honest. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"You don't like me," you say.

It's overly simple to say it that way, sure, but that was always kind of the vibe you got. Especially after he turned you down at that party three years ago. Even as you got closer to Mark and some of their other friends, Johnny was always just...there. Never making an effort. But always around.

Johnny gives you an audaciously over-offended look. "Who said that?"

"You shot me down," you point out.

His expression doesn't waver. "I turned you down like ten years ago the literal week after I got dumped by that one girl from Taiwan. That doesn't mean I don't like you."

"Three, three years ago," Mark corrects.

You turn to stare at him. "Why do you know that?"

He shrugs. "I pay attention."

"Do you?"

"I like you," Johnny interrupts. "Don't leave."

"Isn't - this ain't even a little bit weird, to you?" Mark asks.

Johnny bites his tongue, grinning. "I like you, too."

"I know," Mark says, not even blinking, even as your jaw is hanging somewhere around your knees. "But still, like, jeez, dude. Man. Fuck."

You're not entirely sure what's going on, but Johnny nods like Mark's speaking only the truth.

"You're right," Johnny turns to you, still standing with your t-shirt pressed over your chest like a shield, like a lifeline against whatever this is. "If you actually wanna leave, please, be my guest."

"Hold on, yo," Mark sputters, "Wait, you're not - seriously, you're not tryna hijack this, bro, because that's legit kind of-"

"How is it hijacking if she wants to leave?" Johnny argues.

"Because-"

"If she leaves, you're gonna have to take care of that by yourself. I might as well help."

That is the moment you realize Mark is still hard. Because of course he is.

And really, that clarifies things for you.

If you walk out, like you were going to, if you haul your ass back across the district to your own apartment in the world's saddest walk of shame, you're not just leaving a blueballed Mark behind. He and Johnny are gonna do...something, without you.

You'd rather they do something with you.

So your drop your t-shirt.

"Oh," Mark says mildly.

"Love it," Johnny says.

He's so weird.

You can't believe how thirsty your freshman self was for upperclassman fuckboy Johnny.

Or, well...no, you can believe it, because your current self is feeling some type of way about this current Johnny. This tattooed Johnny, tall and stupid as ever, handsome in his backwards hat, still dressed in the outfit he picked to get cabin-drunk with his besties.

But you're here for Mark.

You came over for Mark, and you intended to have Mark. That's still what you want.

So you turn your back on Johnny, somehow still standing in the doorway, leaning on the wooden frame, and you slot yourself right back into Mark's arms.

He must really be unperturbed by Johnny's presence, here, because Mark just lets you sidle right up close, holding you loosely by the waist, like he had been before.

"Imma be real," he says. "I always thought you were only into hyung."

Mark tilts his head toward Johnny, indicating unnecessarily, as if you would think he meant any other hyung in this moment.

"Y'know. And not me," he adds, also unnecessarily.

"Then you're stupid," Johnny says brightly.

"Hey!" Mark squawks.

"You're very obvious," Johnny tells you.

Mark is looking down at you with doe eyes and a pout so priceless, you'd bet he practices it in the mirror.

"I'm not stupid," he grumbles.

"You're not," you placate, because goddamn is he cute, even if he is kind of stupid sometimes.

Johnny's moving around, behind you, but for the moment your attention is on Mark. He so rarely takes his shirt off, even to swim and stuff, so you're really enjoying the feeling of his thin chest beneath your palms. It's like being let in on an especially good secret, being able to bypass his usual modesty.

"Are we really gonna...y'know," Mark reaches down, bolder than you expected from him, and pinches your ass. "Keep things goin'?"

"As long as you don't mind Johnny being here," you reply.

Johnny answers that one for him. "He doesn't mind."

You would turn around to tell Johnny to stop it, if he didn't choose that moment to sneak around behind Mark. But there he is, looming, putting his considerable height to work as he presses himself to Mark's back and snakes his hand down to Mark's waistband. His hand is trapped awkwardly between your torso and Mark's, but he doesn't seem to care in the slightest, as he pops the button and zip on Mark's jeans.

"Yo, you didn't even ask," Mark complains, leaning against Johnny's shoulder to tilt his head up and meet his eye.

Johnny gives him a simpering grin. "Can I take your pants off?"

"Yeah, sure."

The jeans are pooled on the floor in a matter of seconds, and then Johnny's fingers are tugging at your beltloops, too.

"You?" he asks.

"If you want to," you answer.

Johnny laughs. "I want to."

You did not think, when you came over to Mark's house with the explicit purpose of turning a movie night into a very messy hookup, that you would end up standing alone next to his bed while he gets pressed bodily to the mattress and kissed into next week by a very enthusiastic and fully-clothed Johnny Suh, but you know, there's a first time for everything.

Might as well join in.

You take the opportunity to finally slip your bra off, figuring that the time to be self-conscious has long since passed, and you climb onto the mattress to sit up on your knees and take in the scene before you.

They're just kissing, Johnny playfully pinning Mark to the bed with his much greater wingspan, but it's comfortable. Too comfortable. You've heard the stories about them getting caught being too cozy at those kickbacks, but you hadn't seen the proof for yourself.

Yeah. They've done this before.

The only variable this time is you, and you're not about to let them forget that you're here.

Johnny's wearing a button-down shirt, which makes things very easy. Well. Easier than they could be. You've got that straining third-highest button (the first two are already undone, that harlot) in your hand in an instant, and it's only a few tugs and a little bit of creative reaching (he refuses to stop kissing Mark to let you do this) before you have the shirt in your hands.

The sharp sensation of teeth - hard, but not hard enough that it actually hurts - on the underside of your breast makes you yelp. "Hey!"

You look down to see Mark grinning. Your leaning into Johnny had put your chest right in his face.

"Couldn't help it," he says.

"He bites," Johnny warns you, too late.

You decide not to grace that with an answer, just sitting back on your heels. You're going to toss Johnny's shirt away, to join your pants and Mark's on the floor, but after a second, you slip it on. The linen is warm from Johnny's skin, and it smells like his strong perfume.

"Oh shit."

That's Mark, and it's practically a moan.

He's looking at you upside-down, taking in the new combination of just your underwear and Johnny's shirt. Johnny is looking too, but he just looks amused, approving. Mark looks ravenous.

The next sentence out of Mark's mouth is one of those sentences that bypasses his already-scant filter entirely.

"Sit on my face."

You blink down at him. "What?"

He reaches for your thigh, firm. "Sit."

Johnny backs off, at that, climbing off Mark and off the bed entirely. "You should do that. He's very good."

It would be a health risk, you think, to consider why Johnny knows that. Your heart is already beating too fast as it is, pounding in your ears.

"Where are you going?" you ask, instead.

"Getting a better view."

True to form, Johnny moves to lean on the opposite edge of the bed. Mark's fingers dig harder into your thigh.

Aw, what the hell.

Johnny helps you out of your panties, careful and gentlemanly. He keeps his shirt on you, though, pulling it back up when you try to shrug it off.

Johnny helps you balance as you turn, and plant a knee on either side of Mark's head.

His breath tickles your inner thigh. "Fuck yes."

"I'm not gonna hurt you, am I?" you ask, uncertain.

"Nah."

"Can you...breathe?"

"Don't care."

Johnny grins, evil. "He's a pro."

"I got one more request, y'know, if you don't mind," Mark says.

He bites your leg, this time, and you jump.

"It's gonna be hard, but, like. I want you to keep lookin' at hyung."

"Looking..." You're already embarrassed, already shy. Keep eye contact with Johnny while Mark...while Mark...

Mark's laugh is just a breath. "Don't be gettin' shy on us, now."

[bunnyreaper]

why am I thinking about soap begging you to indulge him in his step-sister fantasy?

like he pleads with those puppy eyes and you just can't say no when he's staring like that so the next thing you know you're making plans on how you're going to roleplay with him.

he has so many things he wants to try, and he has no shame about how filthy or taboo or perverted or cliche they are. like, can't find it in him to feel bad about it when it gets his dick so hard and you're so eager to please him and make his fantasies come true.

the first thing he asks for is a scenario where he takes your virginity, because who can you trust more than your big bro to take care of you for your first time? he takes it so slow for you, relishing in the trust you placed in him. he kisses you softly at first, before it turns into something dirty and hungry, stuffing his tongue into your mouth. fingers you so sweetly, making sure you cum over and over before he even thinks about fucking you. making you all wet and gooey and stretched as he eases his long, thick cock inside. fucks away your innocence, shapes you to him, plans on making you completely fucking addicted straight from your first time. nothing is allowed in your brain besides thoughts of him.

"this sweet little kitty belongs to me now, aye bonnie?"

or you pretend you're going through a shitty breakup with a guy your age and he comforts you, he's your older step bro, he knows those guys don't deserve you. holds you as you cry, tries to hide that he's hard from the way your body presses and writhes against his, or how fucking cute your little pout is or the tears that stain your cheeks.

promises he'll make it all better if you let him eat your cunt just right, and let him fuck your thoughts away like he does so well. you melt into him as he makes your toes curl, his dick buried so deep as he looks down upon you with adoring eyes, ones your boyfriend never gave you. he makes you cum like no one else can either.

"don't think about him lass, 'll make you feel good, promise baby."

but of course he has some even darker fantasies too. he's been away, deployed, and he comes back to you being all fucking bratty. you won't stop loudly talking about this guy who's been entertaining you in johnny's absence, but he assumes it's all just talk--talk he's going to have to punish you for, because you're his.

he catches you at night, trying to sneak out of the window, and oh no, of course, you're stuck. and johnny, of course, doesn't rush to help you, just flipping up your skirt and pulling down your panties. teasing slick out of you and making you moan into the darkness until you wouldn't dream of leaving, because you know that boy can't take care of you like your big bro can, doesn't fill you full of sticky cum like johnny does.

"stay still, stop yer squirmin'. i'll free you once am done."

or maybe you, with your dumb little girl brain, think you'd be better off without your step-bro. you tell johnny it has to stop, and that you don't want him anymore. he respects it for a while, but when he sees you doing something you shouldn't, something you wouldn't want your parents to find out about, he definitely takes full advantage. he'll keep your secret if you just give him your pretty little throat one more time, let him past those cute little lips again, swallow everything he gives you.

so you give in, dropping to your knees, pulling his hard dick out of his jeans and taking as much of his meat down your throat as he can.

he takes ahold of your hair, fucking deeper and deeper and making you gag, making your eye close. when they flutter open, you see his phone camera fixed on you, and you know it's going to be even more blackmail material so you can't escape. you were so silly for thinking you could go without johnny using you like this.

"do as you're told bonnie, look at the camera like a good little slut, yeah?"

[obae-me]

Omg Hi!!! It has been so long since I have seen you on my dash! How are you doing love? I hope you are doing super well ^.^ I recently saw your Mc with trauma post. I loved it so much, and it has also given me a lot to mull over the past few days lol.

Honestly I love the idea of a traumatized Mc and the brothers feeling like absolute shit for the way they treated them in the beginning... but yk another part of me wonders when I imagine my own traumas in that scenario... that for people (the bros- literal demons) who have faced so many things and traumas in their own lives, whether my feelings or pain is even comparable to that. Ik you can't compare things like that and the brothers would probably even be mad if I think of my feelings this way since it's the "Ohhhh someone always has it worse. It's not even that bad so just suck it up" self-deprecating part of me. Despite knowing ALL THAT I can't help but think that I am not traumatized enough to deserve empathy lmao (I realize how stupid it sounds saying it out loud).

So that is what REALLY got me thinking. What about an Mc that is genuinely terrified of scrutiny, being a nuisance and just basically inconveniencing anyone for things that are just basic needs. Idk if I am explaining it well enough oof and a mc like that (like me lmao) certainly won't bode well with Lucifer. Atleast not in the beginning. I could hate him (I could never but if I did) but still be terrified of disappointing him. This is what I mean when I say I love him but he reminds me too much of my father habits wise 🤢.

I am thinking a Mc who is afraid of asking even their basic needs at the beginning once Lucifer mumbled about them being too much trouble. Mc who feels so extremely guilty when the brothers get anything for them, cuz they feel like they have to work for it or they don't deserve it. Mc whose blood freezes over when they break something and try to replace it as quick as possible so no one blames them. Mc who never expresses their concerns so as to not add to the brothers' already full plates or worry them. It hurts to bottle it all up but seeing the brothers' concerned faces with so much PITY is a thousand times worse. Mc who never complains and adjusts to even unfair situations so as to not be a bother. Mc who just takes, takes and takes everything bad and doesn't say a word cuz they feel like they deserve it. Mc who tells little white lies to hide their flaws and be the perfect exchange student and avoid scoldings and criticisms ; only to stew in shame, disgust, self-loathing when someone eventually catches up on one of the lies (the person probably didn't even make a big deal of it/ was only mildly disappointed but Mc feels their heart breaking in two as they think they have broken their trust forever and would never be trusted again)

Gosh this got way longer than I was expecting >.< and a lot of signs like these aren't really obvious until you are close to that person. I think so many of us are so hard and rutheless to ourselves when sometimes the thing we need the most is a little compassion and understanding ;-;

Hi! I love seeing you in my inbox and thank you! I've been in recovery mode for the last few months but am finally coming back out of that cave and working on my hobbies again (seriously going too long without writing almost feels like going without food for me)! I hope you've been doing well too!

And oof, yes, I understand what you're saying completely. I'm like that too in a lot of ways, keeping certain details or complaints to myself because "Oh surely what I've been to is really nothing". And sometimes I let something slip and people get very concerned. Which is validating in a way, not that I need to be validated for it, everyone goes through their own pain and awful things SUCK no matter to what extent it is and I've had to learn that through my life.

(Wow that MC really is just me, huh? Calling me out are you? /j)

Honestly this type of MC is just canon to me. (I mean, the more pithy responses the MC has in original OM might just be due to writing but to me it just seems like the calm and general response of someone throwing out NPC answers as a survival tactic.)

They suck things up and soak up everything that's been said to them and work hard to remain a normal functioning being.

And of course Lucifer is an interesting character to think about with this MC because on one hand the human could absolutely despise him for the way he treats them. Or on the other hand (if you're like me I guess, which I realize is hella unhealthy, oops) the MC could look up to him and work extra hard to try to gain his validation, because getting praise from someone like that means you must not be a failure, right?

And just...the dynamic of that is so appealing to me, because Lucifer loves when people work hard and do what they're told, but then if he finally comes to the realization that they're burning out and actually almost putting themselves in more danger and harm because of HIM? And at the end of the day he's doing more damage than any of his chaotic brothers? (I like to have him spiral and be humbled just a bit)

Just all of the brothers doing some deep introspection once they come to care for MC and needing to sit down and realize that probably made their human feel so much worse and then spending the rest of eternity trying to fix that. And then the "I can fix him" mentality from MC turns into the "I can fix them" from every other character. A special Uno Reverse, if you will.

Oops, this turned into a fairly long ramble of my own...

Thanks for popping into my inbox with your thoughts! Traumatized MC deserves some extreme love

[respectthepetty]

A public apology to Never Let Me Go's Chopper:

Sir, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry that I mistook you for every other side character in a BL series who is jealous of the lead, manipulative to get what he wants, controlled by his father, and disingenuous to everyone. That's not you! You could NEVER! You're in a league with To Sir, With Love's Yang, and both of you will go into the BL Hall of Fame.

Just so you know how sincere I am about this apology, let me recount the ways I wrongly accused you of being an undercover red flag when you are actually the biggest green flag in these BL streets. Full disclosure - I misjudged you a lot.

You looked at Nueng at the conference and hesitated to follow your father when he left. 1a) You're always worried about your cousin and 1b) from the beginning have shown you don't align with your father's beliefs.

1a. When you found out Ben, who you knew couldn't reciprocate Nueng's feelings due to his homophobic father, was speaking to Nueng, you directly asked Ben what he wanted from your cousin.

Because you care about your cousin, and you want to actually spend time with him.

You let him know that even though your parents are beefing, you still love him.

You are genuinely happy to see him.

And when he asked you about Ben and why you are no longer friends (since the 10th grade *sob*), you warned him that Ben is distant, but encouraged both him and Ben to pursue their attraction AND asked follow-up questions on separate occasions because YOU CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE even if it kills you.

And that is why Nueng trusts only you unlike your father.

1b. You told your father from the beginning that you didn't want what he was offering nor did you cave to his expectations.

You also told him you weren't competing with your cousin because, once again, you actually love Nueng and don't resent him .

You looked away when your father wanted you to watch him punish someone.

You picked up the photo of Tanya and Nueng when your father threw it, and you directly asked him AND scolded him for ordering the hits.

I know you know how to use a gun, and I know you can aim very well. If you kill your father, I will light every candle and pray that you only know good sex for the rest of your life, that your bed is always the perfect temperature, and that your earrings never snag your clothing. Amen.

2. You have always been kind especially to Palm and Ben. You immediately went to Palm and made friends with him, speaking casually, and told him if he needed help, to ask you.

When you saw Palm at Nueng's house, you were happy to see him, and spoke to him. When you realized you offended him by telling him he didn't have to act like a servant in front of you, you quickly apologized.

You were also quick to apologize to Ben when you knew your words hurt him.

When you found out about the incident at school, you went to Ben and comforted him. You even grabbed his hands in public, looked him in the eyes, and told him he wasn't to blame (for being the victim of a public outing).

I truly thought YOU were behind this, but once again, you are the BEST BOY and put Kimlock Holmes to shame by solving the case. However, you stopped Ben from hurting Aun, and I think you even felt bad for Aun when you found out his reasoning for doing it.

You have shown that you don't condone violence but are willing to do what is necessary for the people you love (*whispers* please kill your dad) and will literally kick someone's ass.

4. You are aware you are gay.

I know this seems wild that I misjudged you for this mostly since this is a BL series, so everyone is queer until proven otherwise, but Chopper, you KNOW who you are. You aren't holding on to a secret. You aren't pining over Ben from a distance. No! You told him in the 10th GRADE that you liked him.

And when he rejected you, you kept your distance, but still encouraged him to find happiness with someone else because you want the people you love to be happy even if it was with each other.

You also complimented Palm on his body because, baby, YOU ARE A GAY MAN WITH EYES!

I can't apologize enough for not believing in you even when you showed me exactly who you were time and time again. You may be okay that Ben rejected you, but know that Ben now realizes the sun and the moon reside in your eyes.

The way he looked at you while you took the time to carefully go through your skincare routine when you said you weren't his type told everyone that this boy wants Nueng to come home safe, but he wants YOU to come to his home and make him feel safe.

Chopper, I love you. I don't even care that you are into cryptocurrency. Baby, your game is so fire, that you could tell me to shut up, and I do it. That's how much I love you.

If you pull a switcheroo in the final act, I'll forgive you. If you die in the final act, I will never speak of this show again. If you kill your father, I will never stop speaking about this show.

Stay kind. Stay sincere. Stay a confident gay.

And kill your father.

[starstruckwillows]

♡ try again - f.w ♡

requested by @reasontobebeautiful <3

fred weasley x slytherin!reader, pureblood!reader, platonic!sirius black x reader, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, swearing

sirius black ensuring fred weasley doesn't make the same mistakes he saw many war-stricken kids make

there’d been a cruel edge to his words that he hadn’t quite meant.

fred’s scathing indictment of your family wasn’t any different to the things you usually said about your kin, and it didn’t bother you for others to agree. but to be part of that perception was probably your worst fear.

you’d been so excited turning up at the doorstep of grimmauld place, suitcase in hand, bright beam gracing your face.

fred had frowned. he’d been ignoring the way your smile made him feel for a long time.

“why are we having death-eaters round for christmas dinner?”

molly had scolded her son then, “george! i mean, fred!”

he’d rolled his eyes, mumbling, “might as well get her whole family out and kill some muggles for the christmas spirit.”

it was the association. your family were one way, you must be too.

maybe that’s how it was for the weasleys, at least four generations of ginger gryffindors shooting for the stars in their respective fields. ministry, dragons, pranks, quidditch.

maybe that’s how it looked for you, at least four generations of slytherins serving whichever tyrannical supremacist reigned at the time.

you found a lot of your time was spent trying to convince people that wasn’t you. but gina lomotey, whose dad had once punched professor snape, didn’t have to walk around assuring people she didn’t attack teachers. and kosi berry, whose parents had a short lived music career, never had to explain she had no interest in singing.

reene west’s mum hijacked a broom race, ford green’s dad did a stint in muggle prison, carson denny’s eldest brother lived full time in st mungos due to an unhealthy obsession with lions.

none of them faced half the crap you did for their bloodlines.

sirius had come to see you, heard you vent about this once again.

“and it’s almost like... i mean i’m not saying you had it easier, you didn’t, it was worse for you in different ways. but, it’s like i have to work so hard to prove i don’t have my families prejudice, because i am a slytherin. you had the argument of a different house to help your case, in school anyway. but i wear the same colour robes my family did, so people never believe me.”

somehow your feelings for fred were brought to the surface of the conversation. maybe that’s what made it harder.

“i’m so tired of having to make them believe me. i’m not a bad person.”

so you didn’t grovel, and try to prove your innocence, because you were well and truly tired of being pre-judged. it wasn’t as if the two of you met on a battlefield. sirius had invited you here. dumbledore approved, he trusted you. you’d never given fred a reason to dislike you.

the boy in question, banished to the other side of the house by his own anger (and shame), was glowering at a wall.

his mum told him his response had been impolite. george told him he was smack out of line.

he knew they were right.

especially when sirius, a man fred had got on with well, had knocked on the door, greeting him with a slight scowl.

“i want you to apologize.”

no beating around the bush.

“i’m not sorry.” lie. you sound like a petulant child.

“yes you are.”

fred blinked.

“i am old enough to recognize the feelings of teenagers. i spent seven years watching my friends fall in and out and in again with love. i watched james pine for lily, i watched them fight. i watched marlene and dorcas take five years to get over their differences.”

fred jested, "sounds creepy.”

sirius smiled, but continued his story, “do you know what marlene and dorcas’ main difference was?"

he shrugged.

“marlene was a gryffindor, dorcas a slytherin, and it took them a good fraction of their lives to move past that. they died young. they spent more time denying their feelings for a school, house rivarly, than the time they got to spend loving each other. we’re approaching a war again, kid. don’t repeat their mistakes. take it from me.”

fred remained uncharacteristically silent for a few minutes, and although it was unsettling, sirius stayed. it was clear the boy had questions.

“your family were death-eaters.”

sirius nodded.

“but they rejected you, for being in the wrong house.”

“correct.”

“if... you’d been a slytherin, and they accepted you... would you have rebelled? or would you have become a death-eater.”

sirius shrugged, “i know why you’re asking, but i have no answer for you. if i was in a different house, i would have a different character, and any alternate character would mean very different decisions. all i can tell you is i know her. you don’t, yet. she is not her bloodline. she's cunning, and ambitious, but her ambition is not to participate in genocide. talk to her. you might be surprised at what you find.”

fred had made up his mind. sirius was right, and he wanted to know you. he wanted to see your stupidly pretty smile, he wanted to cause it, and he wanted to know your favourite things. he wanted to know what made you feel, what made you sleep. he wanted to talk to you.

which proved incessantly difficult, because you were avoiding him like dragonpox. every once in a while, he would catch your eye and you'd blink rapidly before looking away, fiddling with your sleeves.

christmas day rolled around a few days on, and fred still had yet to successfully get you alone. as everyone begun unwrapping their presents, he was only staring at you, waiting for a reaction, hoping you'd know the unlabelled gift was from him.

you did, eyes widening and shooting up to find him in the room, visibly taken aback.

“do you like it?” he mouthed, tilting his head as the firm grip of insecurity tightened his chest.

with your lips slightly parted in surprise, you nodded your head. the same feeling lay at the base of your heart, wondering if it was going to turn out to be a prank.

he jerked his chin towards the kitchen, question in his eyes, and tried to not take your hesitation to heart. especially as you stood up and walked his line of sight. when he was sure nobody else was paying attention, he followed you.

“hey...” he rubbed the back of his neck, the awkwardness between you heavy in the air.

but fred was fred and he still kept eye contact, a steady voice, an easy stance.

“i’m sorry.”

you shrug, “okay.”

the word is uttered so nonchalantly, as though your stomach wasn’t erupting with unruly butterflies.

“do you... could you forgive me?”

“maybe. if you mean it.”

he nodded, “i do. i’d like to know you, actually know you, not think i do.”

“i’d like that.”

—

taglist:

@anordinarymuse @ell0ra-br3kk3r @kingshitonly

[bisexual-horror-fan]

*lizzo voice* I’ve been waiting for this one! Turn it up! Anyway it took all the power in me not to turn on anon 😩. Honestly these are gonna be pretty broad so you have creative freedom!! I was wondering if I could have a Poly!Ghostface with breeding being a main focal point 👀. If not main I’ll take minor point! Whatever’s easiest! Also it’s amralice I changed my username LOL

Man you requested this thing foreverrr ago, but I finally was in the mood and got to it. I am gonna thank the new Scream movie on the horizon and also the Ghostface call I got. Breeding kink ain’t my kink but damn if it isn’t fun to write! Especially since I shockingly never have with these two! I hope it was worth the wait and that you all enjoy! 

—

Rating. Explicit. Length. 3.1K. Billy Loomis And Stu Macher X AFAB! Reader. Poly!Ghostface. She/Her Pronouns. Warnings: Biting. Vaginal Fingering. Vaginal Sex. Raw Sex. Creampie. Sloppy Seconds. Threat Of Denial. Dub-Con. Breeding Kink. Dirty Talk. Degradation. Praise. Pet Names. Coercion. Gaslighting. Billy And Stu Being Toxic. Riding. Slut Shaming. Reader Blaming. Restrained Reader. Dumbification. Overstimulation. Begging. Crying. Decryphilla. 

—

Throwing Caution To The Wind.

—

You were smart, cautious and careful. 

Normally.

But ever since two particular boys entered your life you find it harder and harder still to keep your head on straight. They could make a suggestion and from anybody else it would be totally outlandish, something you would never even consider entertaining, but when it came from their mouths, well, it just had a funny little habit of making sense. 

So when you were fooling around one night, stretched out underneath Stu, him kissing your neck, teeth grazing. Billy was by your side, hands everywhere when he said your name softly, you hummed in question and he responded, “Feelin’ good?”

A light and breathy laugh, “To say the least.” but you wanted more, so you asked, as nicely as you usually did, sweetness and heat tying the two words in a bow, opting for simplicity, “Fuck me?” 

Billy didn’t sound disappointed or anything, he said it in a very matter of fact way, “Would love to but we’re outta condoms.”

Shit.

You however were disappointed, you totally meant to pick up more but you spaced on it, and true you could get off in other ways. And while hands and mouths and the rest have their very well loved place, that isn’t what you wanted tonight. You thought, turned it over in your mind, they weren’t letting up, still touching you all over, the teasing was too much and you think, “Fuck it.”

You speak, “We…We could still-” That got their attention, Stu’s head rising from your chest, the nipple he had just had between his lips released with a wet pop, “Still?”

Billy leaned in closer, “Yeah, still?”

A nervous look between them both, a bite of your lip before the pulsing need pushing you forward and the words tumbled out, “We still could if you promise to pull out.” 

The look passed between the pair over your form was quick before they looked back to you, “Are you sure?”

You think for a moment maybe you shouldn’t, maybe this was a bad fucking idea, but then Billy’s hand was between your thighs, deft fingers circling your clit through barely there and soaked lace, pleasure sparks inside of you, makes your legs twitch and your breath stutter in response. Stu was as unhelpful as ever as he returned his mouth to giving attention to your chest and before you truly know what you are saying, those two words slip out on an exhale, “I’m sure.” 

“Well if you’re really sure.” Billy hummed.

You were. You could trust them. 

Soon enough you were deep into it with them, all clothes were forgotten as you got on top of Billy, the feel of him warm, his eyes giving away that he was as full of want as you were. One hand on your hip and the other holding himself at the base of his shaft as he lined up, the hot and hard velvety head of his cock poised at your slick hole and in one smooth move of your hips downwards you took him inside. His reaction was amazing, about the same as yours honestly, first there was a sharp inhale at the sudden rush of sensation, a small tense, and a quiet but definitely vocal moan. It felt fantastic, you from the stretch of him and him from the feeling of you, so warm and so wet, and you both from feeling the other raw for the very first time. 

You started to move, began to ride, tentative, easy, bouncing up and down and holy shit, you didn’t know it could feel this good with him bare, if you did, you might have done this sooner. The build of it was quick, Stu was helping, one hand rubbing your clit, sloppy kisses placed on your neck as you reached back behind yourself, your own hand on him, stroking him as you rode Billy. “How’s she feel?”

A breathless laugh, his head thrown back as he confessed, “In-credible.” 

“Oh I bet, M’ already dying for my turn.” The smile on his face was evident from his tone.

You got very, very distracted after that, trying to keep a good rhythm both for yourself and for Stu, a task that got harder and harder as you got closer and closer to your end, the fingers helping you along, refusing to let up. Your head was swimming, ample moans and panting breaths you feel yourself draw close and warn them as such, a broken and weak, “Gon-gonna cum-”

Stu’s fingers stay consistent, your hips are faltering but Billy’s hands are locked on your waist, he helps you move, keep it up, rocking up into you, fucking up as you are slammed down and you know your orgasm is going to be spectacular. It builds and rises and finally peaks, you tip over and cum, eyes slip closed and the moan that breaks out is loud and blissful. 

You are thoroughly pleased and totally distracted, so overcome with feeling that you didn’t, more than that, you couldn’t gather enough mental awareness to notice Billy’s own end that had also crept up. If you weren’t so consumed with getting yourself off you would have noticed the change in his breathing, the pitch of his own moans, and all those little tells you had gotten to know so intimately that would have clued you into him getting so dangerously close. You cumming pushes him over too, plush walls hugging and squeezing him rhythmically, as if your body were silently begging him to do it, to unload inside you and he complies. Your eyes slide back open, brows furrowed in confusion as you are panting, as your own pleasure subsides you feel the flex of him inside and with a few more gentle moves of your hips, directed by him, still gripping you, a rush of warmth and wetness. 

You shouldn’t be this wet, it felt way more slick so suddenly and as you look down at Billy, his own eyes closed in pleasure, bottom lip caught between his teeth, a harsh exhale out of his nose and red flush on his chest it hits you like a ton of fucking bricks. 

In the haze of you cumming you had let go of Stu and he allowed it to happen, you got up, raising up on your knees and sliding him out, a small hiss from him as you do so, followed right after by the now clearly obvious mix of his cum and your wetness pouring out of you and back onto his slowly softening shaft. You reached down, feel your well fucked hole that was steadily leaking, moving back to see all the mess and you look at Billy accusingly, “You said you were gonna pull out!”

There was this much too comfortable smile on his face, a small shrug, glancing at Stu as he said, “Oops. Sorry.”

Stu laughed and you wanted to smack him, “It’s not funny!”

“It’s a little funny.” Stu defended and you ignored him as you asked Billy, “Why did you do that?!”

“Couldn’t help it. I tried to hold it while you were getting yours but it felt way too good.” He said it in a way that was clearly trying to sway you, when you seemed unmoved he spoke again, “C’mon, don’t be mad at me babe. Didn’t it feel good?”

It did. It totally fucking did but- “That’s not the point!”

“So you admit it did feel good.” He said with a wider grin and you pouted arms cross over your chest, “I didn’t say that!”

“Implied it plenty.” Stu said easily, his hands on you, locking onto your waist and you tried to wiggle away, “Stop it! I want you to take this seriously, I told you not to and you totally violated me-”

That got a laugh from them both, Stu saying with a roll of his eyes, “Yeah you seem really violated when you were cumming like that. The sounds you were making? Sounded like you were really being forced.”

“Totally man, sure felt like you hated every second of it when your cunt was fucking milking me.” Billy continued mockingly as he started to sit up, a hand running through his hair and you wanted to protest, make them apologise but Stu was touching you. He hadn’t let you get away, he was laying more affection of your neck and shoulders, one hand sliding between your legs and you tried to fight him of, “Knock it off Stu-”

“Nope.” You felt him, pressed hot and hard to your hip and he said, “I still gotta get off.” 

You wanted to tell him to fuck off, that no way after this would you but Billy was touching you too again, he’d knocked your arms out of the way and he was playing with your nipples, tugging gently as he says, “He was real patient, let him have a turn.”

“N-no, I don’t want to-” You protested weakly, totally unconvincingly, especially as Stu buried his fingers inside you and felt how your body responded, clenching around his fingers. He was murmuring in your ear sarcastically, “Yeah again, feels like you really don’t want this.”

You give in, an attempt at compromise, “Okay, let me blow you-”

A laugh from the pair, a shake of Stu’s head, and Billy pulling more painfully, “Nope, you’re gonna let him fuck you and you’re gonna love it.”

You wanted to whine, sob, beg, but you felt so needy, you did want to feel him, did want him to fuck you and get off again and again but the risk, the danger of it, you shouldn’t-

Billy’s voice cuts through your whirring and worried spiral in your mind, “We’ll buy you a plan B if it makes you feel better.”

It did. It really did. If they did that then there was no point in denying Stu, you could let him use you too, let him cum inside without further worry so you rush out, “Yes, okay, fuck-”

“Awe there you go, good girl.” His fingers are pulled out and you are pushed down, Stu repositions you, forces you into face down ass up and without any more preamble you feel him against your hole and he slips inside. 

He moans long and low, his body covering yours, you feel his chest to your back, his hands on your wrists, holding you down as he bottoms out. He held deep inside for a moment, feeling you with nothing in between, how loose and lubed you were from the previous load dumped into you, he ground his hips against your ass, another groan leaves him as his head pitches forward, resting on the back of your shoulder. He sounded wrecked already but he always was a massive slut for Billy’s sloppy seconds.

You moan too when he fills you, your eyes sliding closed as he starts to move, slowly, begins to fuck you, deep and hard, barely sliding out halfway before shoving back inside. After a few more moans he pulled out of you with no effort he said, “God, you’re so fucking funny, you know that?”

“Hu-huh?” You moaned out and Stu continued, “Thinkin’ that you could let us fuck you raw and we wouldn’t take the chance to cum in you-” A breathless laugh, a shake of his head, then punctuated by the hardest thrust yet and a moan before he continues to verbally degrade you, “-stupid, stupid whore, only thinking with the gash between your legs.”

Instead of angering you, instead of making you feel everything it should, instead it makes you moan, makes you clench down on him again, makes you feel even more heat spark inside of you and arousal wash over your brain. Maybe you were naive and idiotic to think that they would just pull out, maybe this was- “Your fault. This is all your fuckin’ fault.” Stu whispered harsh into your ear as his hips picked up the pace. 

It was, you were warm and wet, sweet and inviting, you really thought that they could feel you, all of you, bare and alive against them and thought what? That they’d be able to resist not finishing in your abused hole that was gripping onto them for dear life? That same hole that was practically beseeching them to do it? 

It was biology you were fighting against too, your mouth said one thing but your body another totally different. Who were you to fault them for listening to millennia of evolution directing them, telling every sense and fiber of their beings, compelling them to cum exactly the place they were supposed to? In your fertile and ready hole, the one you had for this very purpose. 

This was on you and you alone for asking for too much of them. They were only human. 

This was fucked, totally fucked, you were into this, all of it. The danger, the risk, the moral ambiguity and more still. It fuels you.

You moaned incoherently, started to rock back to meet Stu’s thrusts, Billy sitting up in front of you watching as the blonde fucked you harder and harder. “Oh, seems she really does love it.”

“Yeah she does, you do, don’tcha?” He asked and you nodded, panting as you felt the pleasure building again, a furious nod, his hands released your wrists and a hard smack that landed on your ass made you yelp as he demanded, “Say it!”

“I-I do, I lo-o-ove it, fuck, pl-please! Don’t stop Stu!” You begged pathetically, desperate to ease the ache and to cum again. 

“Oh I won’t.” Stu assured around a laugh and Billy hummed, the sound of skin on skin filling the space of the bedroom around him he spoke, “How bad do you think she wants it?”

“I dunno man, shit, feels like she does pretty bad.” He mused in between his own panting breaths, another groan breaking out and Billy let that hang for a moment before posing, “Bad enough that if we told her we wouldn’t get her that little pill she’d still beg you to cum in her raw?”

“Love the way you think.” Stu confessed and with another brutal and unrelenting thrust he asked, “Well?”

Your mind was so hazy, you could barely keep up but you felt some fear curl in your gut as your clit throbbed and your cunt wept, you didn’t want that, did you? Moreover you didn’t think that they did either, a questioning and wavering moan, a stretched out, pitched up, whiney, “Whaaaat?”

A laugh, Stu mocking what you said, stretching out your “what” in the same way and your head falls forward, resting on your forearms as he uses your body. Billy chimed in then again, recovered from his own small laughing fit, “You heard us. If you wanna cum, if you wanna get off, beg for him to breed you.”

You move your head up, slightly, able to look at Billy, he was staring down at you and you could see he was hard again and was jerking off to the view of you and Stu.

When did this happen? Since when did they get into this kink? You had no time nor the higher faculties to think or question, pleasure was rising quickly, you were so fucking close when Stu’s hips stopped with him buried inside of you. His cock pressed to that sweet spot but un-moving, a sob, you can begin to feel the orgasm slip through your fingers and you didn’t think, just let it pour out of your mouth thoughtlessly, “Please, please, please, fill me, God! I nee-need it, fuck-” 

A broken moan into the sheets, again followed by a breathless but still definitely loud enough for them to hear as Stu resumed his previous pace, “Breed me.”

It only took about five more perfectly placed thrusts for you to cum.

Something else was said, something surely degrading and filthy but you couldn’t hear it, your mind went blank as you shuddered under him, sensation radiating out and making your legs almost give out with a wrecked moan. 

This time the come down took longer, especially since Stu didn’t let up, still ruining your hole, only when you were just beginning to come back to yourself and catch your breath did you feel it. Stu holding deep with a groan and now more aware of it, knowing it was going to happen, you focus a tad better, feel him cum inside and it leaks out of you around him, too full to hold the remnants of Billy’s load and Stu’s with him still stuffed inside. 

When he pulls out a moment later, even more of them spills out, down the backs of your thighs and you finally get to lie down, a deep inhale, your limbs feel sore but you feel very relaxed. You could fall asleep right here and you thought you just might until Billy rolls you over, you feel him settle on top of you, between your legs and when he slides in your eyes fly open with a gasp, he didn’t waste time, fucked into you and Stu said, “Told you we could make her beg for it, you owe me five bucks.” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll pay you later-” You tried to find your voice to speak up, protest over this new information, that they made some petty bet over this but he changed the angle, ground on your oversensitive clit and it stole all your fight, your argument, along with your breath. Another squeeze of your walls around Billy that he commented on and you had to admit, if only to yourself, this is some of the best sex you had ever had, not just with them but period, and maybe, you should let this go and be thankful for them leveling up your sex life in this way. 

Regardless, something for future you to worry about and deal with, for now, your legs wrap around Billy’s hips, ankles lock behind his lower back, you reach up, pull him tighter by your fingers tangling in his hair and you beg into his sweat slick neck, “Don’t stop.” 

“There you go, what a good slut.” Stu praised and you were rewarded by a strong press of Billy’s lips against yours.

You finish that afternoon with tears down your cheeks, a cunt full of cum and a head full of confusing thoughts, a new kink unlocked thanks to their inability to listen and their overconfidence that they knew your body better than you could ever hope to. 

[kwanisms]

Kinkuary 06 Jongho — dry humping // corruption kink

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➥ bff!Jongho × bff!Reader summary: Y/N decides to take a break from studying when she learns her sweet and innocent best friend is still a virgin. wc: 2.9k warnings: afab reader, adult dialogue, sexual content (minors dni!): virgin!Jongho, experienced reader, dry humping, Jongho is a whiny mess and his hands are everywhere, Jongho is very vocal, reader has a corruption kink, Jongho cums in his pants and reader cums in her pants, use of pet names (baby, good boy, etc), reader likes to praise Jongho and see him blush Permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @candidupped @dejavernon Kinkuary full taglist: @baldi-2 @wonderfulshinee @lacie220900 @sup-dallyboy @drunk-on-dk @violagoth @mixling-blog Ateez taglist: @2hodefender @babyhailey819 @foxylilbitch @rdiamond2727 @indigo35 @sanjoongie MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. Join the taglist!

a/n: SORRY. IM AN IDIOT AND DIDNT POST THIS CORRECTLY. IM SO SORRY. Thank you to sky for telling me so i could fix it. My bad. this was so much fun to write and I'm tempted to turn this into a mini series where the reader further corrupts her best friend turned boytoy turned boyfriend at the end of it all. Let me know what you all think about that. If there's a good response to this part, I'll do it. As always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner made by me. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms.

════════════════════════════════

When the words left your best friend, you had to do a double take.

“You?” You asked, raising an eyebrow at him over your textbook. Jongho looked up to meet your gaze, his cheeks reddening softly. “Don’t look at me like that,” he half whined, half hissed.

There were several shushes around you. After all, it was a library.

What was supposed to be a study session to prepare for your finals turned into a conversation with your best friend of 20 years about why you didn’t get any sleep the previous night.

“I refuse to believe my best friend is a virgin,” you hissed back, causing Jongho to look up at you with wide eyes, jaw dropped. “Shut the fuck up!” He hissed, earning several more shushes.

You dropped your eyes to your textbook momentarily before glancing up quickly at Jongho who was now flipping through his notes.

You pulled out your phone and sent a text his way.

You: but really??? You’re a virgin?

You heard his phone vibrate in his pocket and glanced up as he pulled it out and glanced at the screen before looking up at you as you looked back down at your book.

Your phone screen lit up with a reply.

Baby Bear🧸: there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin!

Your fingers tapped across the screen quickly.

You: I never said there was. I’m just shocked you haven’t had sex yet Baby Bear🧸: why? You know how I am. I can barely talk to girls, let alone have sex with them. I’m not like you

‘I’m not like you.’ What was he trying to say? Was he… slut shaming you??

You: and what’s that supposed to mean? 🤨 Baby Bear🧸: you’re so… outgoing You: is that your code for slut?

You looked up upon hearing Jongho choke on his own air.

Baby Bear🧸: no! God no. I would never call you that. You’re just so much more confident. Sexually I mean. And you’re comfortable around practically anyone. Baby Bear🧸: i could never. I don’t trust anyone like that. Baby Bear🧸: well, except maybe you

Your eyes glanced up as Jongho continued to tap away on his screen, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

Baby Bear🧸: i trust you more than anyone tbh You: then let me do it Baby Bear🧸: do what? You: let me be your first.

The sound that came out of Jongho upon receiving your text sounded like a cross between a gasp and a sputtering engine. He started coughing, covering his mouth with his fist as he looked up at you, meeting your gaze.

Trying to control his coughing, Jongho quickly gathered his things, with you one step behind as he exited the library. He was fast but not too fast that you couldn’t catch up to him.

You grabbed him by the arm. “Jongie,” you said, pulling him to a halt.

“Why would you say that?!” He hissed, looking around to make sure no one was around.

“Say what?” You asked, confusion masking your face.

“‘Let me be your first,’” Jongho hissed, his face screwing up in either embarrassment or disgust. You weren’t sure which it was.

“If the idea disgusts you that much,” you said softly, pulling the strap of your bag higher on your shoulder. “Forget I said anything.”

You turned to walk away but Jongho’s grip on your arm stopped you. “It’s not that I think it’s disgusting,” he said softly. “It’s just… you’re my best friend, Y/N. It’s weird, isn’t it?”

You turned to face him. “It’s really not. Friends do this kind of stuff all the time, Jong,” you replied. “We don’t have to if you really don’t want to.”

You turned to leave again. "It was just an idea. It's fine," you said, glancing over your shoulder at your best friend.

"No big deal."

No big deal was wrong.

The moment the suggestion left your mouth, it was all Jongho could think about for the rest of the day.

It wasn't that the thought of having sex with you was weird or gross or anything of the like. Jongho was actually intimidated by the idea.

You were much more open in your sexuality and your sexual prowess. He, on the other hand, was much less experienced. The furthest he'd ever gone was kissing and some light touches.

That's not to say he's completely pure. He's had his fantasies before and they may or may not have involved you in the past. He was a horny teenager at one point after all.

But while most of his classmates had given into their desires, Jongho found himself unable to do so. He was far too shy to approach any girl who wasn't you. Even when you set him up on group dates, which thankfully only happened twice, he just couldn't seem to get his words out or say the right things.

But with you? He could talk to you for hours. He felt comfortable around you. He trusted you and he cared about you and he knew you cared about him too.

Which is why he fished his phone out of his pocket mid lecture to send you a text, hoping this little plan of his might work.

Baby Bear🧸: we didn't finish studying You: did you want to meet back at the library after classes? Baby Bear🧸: nah. Just come over to my dorm. My roommate is out so we won't have any distractions You: okay. See you after class!

╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴╶╴

You tried to focus on your worksheet but the way Jongho was glaring at you was making you lose focus.

"Stop glaring at me," you said with a heavy sigh.

"I'm not glaring."

When Jongho had texted you, asking you to come over to finish studying, you couldn't contain your excitement. Maybe it was because you were secretly hoping your best friend was inviting you over with ulterior motives or maybe it was because you'd had a crush on the guy since the end of middle school.

Jongho didn't seem to notice how things changed around him in the transition from middle to high school. By the end of middle school, while he focused more on his studies, you saw how girls started to act around him. They were noticing him more as he grew out of his awkward childhood and started maturing.

And of course, you noticed, too.

By the time you were in your final year of high school, your tiny crush had turned into full blown infatuation yet Jongho seemed none the wiser. He never seemed to notice your subtle attempts at flirting. Perhaps he was as clueless as he claimed to be.

"You are too and it's distracting," you answered, setting down your pencil and beginning to stretch.

Since Jongho had invited you over to his dorm to continue your study session after the library one had ended so abruptly, you were currently sitting at his desk while he sat on his bed.

His eyed followed your movements, watching the way your shirt lifted ever so slightly when you stretched your arms above your head, exposing a small flash of skin that had him imagining things, heat rising to his cheeks.

Jongho cleared his throat and returned his eyes to his workbook but couldn't focus. Not when you continued to stretch.

He watched as you stood up and twisted your body, stretching your back before bending over to touch the floor. Had he not been fantasizing about you all day, he might have ignored the way your ass was on display as you stretched, bent over.

Had he been a little more focused, he would have noticed the way you glanced back at him, a devilish little smirk spreading across your lips.

You stood upright slowly before turning around and crossing to his bed. Jongho watched as you plopped down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and letting out a sigh.

Jongho, who pretended to not have been staring at you ass moments ago gave you a quizzical look.

"I'm bored," you whined, making him scoff.

"Studying isn't supposed to be fun," he replied, scribbling away in his workbook.

You looked up at him, admiring the way the soft lighting from his lamp casted a golden glow over his tanned skin, his dark brown eyes moving slightly as he read the text on the papers before him, the way his lips moved subtly as he mouthed the words his eyes were reading, looking more kissable now than ever.

Jongho wasn't a fool, he knew you were now staring at him, probably expecting him to entertain you somehow.

His eyes widened as you sat up, grabbing his workbook and tossing it aside.

"Yah! I was reading something!" He pouted as you took his pencil and tossed that, too.

"Then let's do something fun," you said, eyes shining with excitement. Jongho rolled his eyes. "We're supposed to be studying, Y/N," he reminded you. "That's why I invited you over," he added.

"Then let's take a short break," you suggested.

Jongho glanced at his poor workbook, laying in a heap on the floor, his pencil abandoned near it.

"I guess a break couldn't hurt," he mumbled, wondering what you had in mind.

Your smile widened and in a flash, you had moved, straddling his lap as he tried not to fall backwards onto the bed.

"W-what are you-?!" Jongho started to protest, his cheeks turning red at your sudden boldness.

"Shh," you said softly, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I saw you earlier," you added quietly, fingers grazing his scalp as you combed through his dark brown hair.

"S-saw what?" Jongho stammered, looking up at you with wide eyes.

"When I was stretching," you answered. You leaned in closer, your face inches from his. "I saw the way you were watching me. You aren't subtle, you know," you continued, your hot breath fanning over him, sending heat rushing to his head and not the one with the brain.

"Is that why you invited me over?" you asked, moving your head to whisper in his ear. "You can tell me, Jong. I won't judge."

Your words had a profound effect on your best friend, sending a shiver down his spine. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears.

"If you wanted to watch me stretch," you whispered, nuzzling his jaw, tugging lightly on his hair to expose more of his neck to you.

"All you had to do was ask."

Jongho let out a sigh as your lips met the skin of his neck, leaving light kisses as you moved down to where his neck met his shoulder, pushing the collar of his sweatshirt aside to tease the skin.

Your lips trailed back up, stopping briefly to graze your teeth against the spot just under his ear. Jongho let out a whine and you pulled back to gaze into his eyes. "You make such pretty sounds," you whispered, leaning in until your lips were inches from his.

"S-stop it," he muttered. You cocked an eyebrow.

"You want me to stop?" you asked, resisting the urge when he vigorously shook his head no. "Then what do you want me to stop?"

"Stop teasing me." His voice was so soft, almost helpless and you couldn't stop the smirk that appeared. "Are you sure that's what you want?" you asked, shifting on his lap and unintentionally grinding against him. "Hng, fuck," you heard him groan.

You pulled back to look down at him in shock.

"Did you just say 'fuck'?" You asked, looking impressed.

"Just shut up and kiss me already," Jongho snapped, looking flustered and like he was going to come undone any second.

You sighed out a "finally," before crashing your lips against his. Grabbing his hands, you placed them on your hips before tangling your fingers back in his hair.

The kiss was rushed, messy, but most importantly it was Jongho.

You'd wanted to kiss him for years and now you were finally getting that chance. There was no way you were gonna fuck this up.

Pulling back, your heart skipped a beat when Jongho tried to follow your lips, pouting when he couldn't. "What did you stop for?" he asked in a whiny voice. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," you said softly, fingers dragging through his hair.

Your best friend's eyes widened. "You've wanted to kiss…me?" he asked, a hint of surprise in his voice.

"Of course I have, you idiot," you laughed.

Jongho's brow furrowed. "So then why did you stop?" he asked again, almost as if he was challenging you.

You leaned back in, connecting your lips in a much slower, more intimate kiss, lips parting his slowly and your tongues meeting.

With your hands in his hair and his mouth preoccupied by yours, you tested the waters by rolling your hips, grinding against him slowly.

Jongho let out a moan, the sound muffled by your mouth. You felt his hands tighten around your waist, nails digging into the exposed skin under your cropped shirt.

"You've never done this, have you?" you asked after pulling away, resting your forehead against his. Jongho shook his head. "N-no," he mumbled. "N-never."

You continued to move, grinding against him, feeling him harden under your clothed heat. For once, you were grateful that women's clothing was so thin, allowing you to feel more.

"So innocent," you whispered, ducking your head to press wet kisses to his neck, trailing down the side, leaving little marks as you kissed, nipped and sucked at his skin.

"You're so good at this," Jongho whined, tilting his head to the side, silently begging for more.

He was fully hard under you now, hands gripping your ass as you grinded against his erection, earning desperate whimpers and moans from him.

"This is all so new for you, isn't it?" you asked, lips brushing against his ear. He nodded frantically, trying to guide your movements. You let out a soft chuckle, grinding harder against him.

"Are you gonna cum?" you whispered, enjoying the way he moaned under your touch. "Y-yes," he whined. "Gonna cum in your pants like a good boy?" Jongho let out a particularly low moan at that.

"You're getting so worked up and I've barely even touched you."

"Please," Jongho breathed, fingers digging into your skin, grabbing your ass tightly. "I need more."

You slowed your movements, pulling your hands from his hair to cup his face. "More? You need more?" you asked, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. "I guess I could give you more.'

You placed your hands on his shoulders and leaned over, pushing him back, his back hitting the mattress. You started to move, continuing your motions from before, rolling your hips and grinding against him again. "Oh shit," Jongho breathed.

"Does it feel good?" you asked, watching his face as it contorted in pleasure. "S-so good," he answered, tongue peeking out to lick his lips. "I wanna feel more," he added. "Wanna feel you."

You smirked, moving faster, letting out your own moans. "You haven't even cum and you already wanna be inside me?"

"Yeah," Jongho answered, his hands moving to squeeze your thighs. "Wanna feel all of you. I need it," he added, his hips bucking up to meet yours. "I need you."

You moaned again. It was so tempting to remove your pants and take his cock inside you but you didn't want to push him too far.

"Mmm, next time, baby, okay?" you cooed. Jongho whined, wanting to feel his cock inside you now.

"Please?" he whimpered. "Please baby. I need you. I need you so fucking bad." The way he spoke breathlessly made you want to give in, push your shorts and panties aside and sink down on him.

Be a good boy and cum for me first," you replied, grinding harder and faster against him. "Cum for me and I'll fuck you later. Only good boys deserve to get their cocks wet.

Your words had the intended effect on him and his pleas for you to fuck him turned into desperate whines as his orgasm approached.

"'M gonna cum," he moaned, eyes fluttering shut. "That's it baby," you purred, coaxing him into it. "Cum in these tight jeans for me."

Your best friend let out a whine, hands moving to your hips and guiding you over his erection as he came in his underwear. Your hips continued, chasing your own orgasm and helping him ride his out. You didn't last much longer, coming undone on top of him.

You both stayed still, panting heavily as you each tried to come down from your respective highs. Jongho moved one hand up to the back of your neck and pulled you down into a heated kiss.

"How long have you wanted to do that?" he asked, referring to what you just did when he finally found his voice.

"When you told me you were a virgin," you admitted, pulling back enough to look into his eyes. "But I've wanted you longer than that."

"Why didn't you say something?" he whined. "I've only been flirting with you since we were like 16," you replied, smiling as he pulled you in for another kiss. "You know I'm an idiot," he answered, lips against yours still. You pressed several short kisses to his lips.

"Yeah but you're my idiot now," you said, sitting back up, hands resting on his chest. Jongho looked up at you through half closed eyes. "I am?" he asked. "Yours, I mean."

You nodded, leaning over to kiss him again. "You are now." You felt him smile against your mouth. "Then that means you're mine, too?" he asked softly, to which you nodded, sitting back up to give him a mischievous grin.

"Yes, and now that you're mine, I can't wait to show you what you've been missing."

[notsopersonalcharlie]

Ride Home

Snowboarder!Bucky x fem!skiier!reader

Note: I was watching my friend being taught to snowboard and thought of this. Gif is not mine

Warnings: none?

Bucky plopped down into a snowbank unceremoniously and started to undo the strap attaching his back foot to his snowboard. Steve and Sam had gone off to run some black diamonds, but he never had quite felt confident on his other side after the incident that left him with a prosthetic arm. Not that he didn’t trust it, but he had swapped sides for everything, writing, punching, even shooting. He was snapped out of his own shame spiral by a man, wearing a set of rather expensive and new looking gear, swearing at the woman who appeared to be trying to teach him. 

“When you said skiing I didn’t think you meant full fucking mountain day. I thought we’d get some drinks, hang out. This is fucking rediculous and these skis and fucking trash.” 

“You said you knew how! I thought this was-“

“I said I had been before, I thought at least you’d fucking be nice about it. May-“

“Just go get a drink then!” You sounded exasperated and Bucky took a closer look, noting the well loved outfit and skis. Clearly they had been used and were being cared for as such. 

“Aren’t you at least going to come?” It sounded more like a command to Bucky than a suggestion. 

“No, I’m going to ski, which is what I paid for a pass to do. I’ll come meet you later.” 

“Yeah well… don’t drink. You’re going to have to drive us back to the city.” The man stumbled away and you sighed, rubbing your forehead before kicking into your own skis and heading for the lift. Bucky cursed to himself after you had started moving and pushed his way up right behind you in the singles line. There weren’t a whole load of people waiting for the lift, it was getting towards lunch time, and he managed to get up beside just you on the lift. 

You glanced over at the snowboarder who decided he had to get on that chair with you, despite the mostly empty line behind you. He had all black gear with a crisp white jacket that had clearly been mended and bleached a few places. He rode goofy and his board knocked up against the edge of your skis when the chair rejoined the cable. 

“I heard that guy being an asshole back there. Sorry you had to deal with the shitty part of the male species.” The somberness with which he said it made you laugh a little. 

“Thanks he was, uh, a set up kinda. I’m new to town, and my parents decided the best way for me to make friends was to go out with one of their college friends’ sons. This is technically our third date and… wow I am spilling info on a stranger. Sorry.”

“No no, he sounds like he sucks. I heard you say he said he knew how.” 

“Yeah! He did! And I even asked before we came out here. Clearly he bought that whole… whole getup to impress me. It was so stupid.” You were waving your hands emphatically and Bucky couldn’t help but smile.

“Well, all I will say is that guys like that don’t actually know how to do anything.” Silence lapsed as you started getting closer to the end of the lift. 

“Uh, how would you want to ride with me and my friends today? Or ski I guess. I’m getting my footing back after an accident, but they’re pretty good and I’m sure they would love to have more friends.” You shrugged, hoping the cold air disguised the blush on your cheeks. Bucky had pulled up his goggles and pushed down his mask on the ride under the pretense of speaking more clearly, but you could tell he was handsome and right now was not the time to blow it. 

“I’d love to ride with you for a while. It’s my first time out this season and I could use an easy day.” He smiled and you both made your way off the lift. Your first run down you could tell that he was good, but kept holding back when he turned to his toe side. It was strange to watch since he seemed to favor it otherwise when he moved before. You told him as much at the end of the run. 

“Yeah, I…” Your conversation was halted as you got back on the lift. 

“I, uh, lost my arm kind of recently and I have a fantastic prosthetic, but still just… cautious.” You couldn’t help but let the shock show on your face. His motions seemed entirely unbothered aside from his anxiety about falling. 

“You look like you’re doing great. I don’t know you all that well but based on that run I feel like you shouldn’t be doing the easiest trail on the hill.” He laughed and you began an amazing afternoon riding, and convincing him to go up to some blue slopes where you spotted some of his friends, who waved but quickly surpassed the slow loping runs you were taking.

“Fuck, I do not want to ruin this amazing day with a car ride home with Dan.” 

“Dan?” Bucky asked. It was getting late in the day and his legs were sore, but he was having too good of a time. During a short break at one of the stops on the mountain he’d finally gotten a look at your face aside from your nose and the strands that were collecting snow beside your goggles. He hadn’t been able to stop picturing your face at every other event in his life since then. 

“The guy I was with this morning. The asshole.” He’d basically forgotten about the existence of the other man after spending the day with you. 

“Well, if you’re not totally opposed to riding a few more hours with a no longer stranger, I would be okay driving you back.” He watched your gears turning, deciding. 

“It would kinda be a massive fuck you to him if he had to sober up and drive home down this mountain alone.” 

“Oh shit, do you think he woul-“

“No, I have the keys. He doesn’t seem bright enough to check the car for keys himself though. You sure you don’t mind?” Mind? Bucky thought to himself, he wanted nothing more than to spend more time with you. 

“Not at all.” You finished the next run, a harder one which Bucky took flawlessly, and dropped the keys off at a nice looking car, grabbing your bag, before you followed Bucky back to a slightly beat looking older SUV. 

“I told Steve and Sam I would drop them down at Sam’s car. They’ll be here in a few minutes. What’s your address?” You dictated it to him, omitting the exact number or unit so you weren’t completely risking yourself. To be totally fair he didn’t have your full name or know all that much about you, yet. 

“And maybe my phone number…in case I forget something? Or in case you want a riding buddy again?” A sweet smile crossed Bucky’s face, blue eyes shining. 

“Sure.” You exchanged numbers and by the time you’d taken a goofy picture of him as a contact photo, his friends arrived. They didn’t comment on your position in the passenger seat. 

“So, where do you live?” You told them where about in the city and Sam opened his mouth to commend, but received an icy blue look from Bucky. You couldn’t help but wonder what else that icy blue stare could be for, but tucked the thought away for another time by yourself. 

“That’s mine. Thanks Buck, have a good drive…” Steve cuffed him on the shoulder on the way out.

“What was that about?” 

“Nothing.” You ended up talking for nearly the entire ride, and it was easy conversation. He told you about the snowboarding accident that had resulted in his lost arm, his job, his dog, Alpine. You told him about your roommate, your hometown, and how excited you were to have a fresh start after the absolute shitshow of your old job and friends.

“Where do you live?” The question was entirely for your own benefit, so you could find out how realistic ‘accidentally’ running into him at a store could be.

“I uh…” Bucky’s cheeks turned red when he told you. 

“WHAT? Bucky, that’s like an hour and a half the other way! Are you insane?” You were near your place already, and there was no use arguing with him that you getting out now to try to get another ride made no sense. 

“I just wanted to spend some more time with you. It was such a great day.” You smiled, blushing as you gave him the final directions to your building. 

“It really was a great day.” He stopped in front of your place, idling as you sat in a few more moments of silence. 

“Maybe we could have another great day? Skiing or maybe dinner?” You felt a little forward asking. 

“Well given there’s no natural way for me to accidentally run into you at the corner store, I guess that sounds like a great plan.”

[crooked-wasteland]

Hazbin Hotel LiveBlog: Scrambled Eggs

So I’m watching Hazbin with my partner who has already seen the entire series. It took us 5 minutes just to get this episode to play from the beginning because it would just skip to episode 4 while the credits where playing before i could pause or rewind. That has nothing to do with the show, it just made me unbelievably enraged, so we ain’t going into this episode happy.

What is with the cat?

It’s been a week since the last episode and every ounce of progress Sir Pentious made last episode is just thrown out as an excuse to introduce yet another character in Carmella. Was there not another way to do this? Like I get Sir Pentious wouldn’t be reformed, but just having him be suddenly paranoid with no reason isn’t founded. Even just a background detail of Angel Dust watching him from a doorway would have been enough to found that suspicion. Especially when Pentious wasn’t shown to be paranoid as a trait. I get this is narrative utilitarianism, but it’s just weak and changing one character’s personality to establish a new one is poor writing.

Sir Pentious to his eggs just feels like fandom

“That’s a lot less hot” That feels out of character

So Trust exercises to tone down the sudden change in Sir Pentious’ character and also to give Vaggie a leading role. Got it. Very utilitarian, very disjointed from the previous episode.

Sidebar, I googled who wrote this episode and it wasn’t Vivienne, however I never would have known because the last episode was equally full of contradictions that it also felt like someone else wrote it. Now maybe that was because Adam had a hand in thing, but The fact I have to google this stuff to know for sure is a joke kin its own right.

I am so conflicted about Niffty. She feels less childlike here and I like find her demented fun, but last episode she was literally written as being child-like so the pain fetish going on is repulsive, despite it not being this writer’s fault. If I want to enjoy anything about this show, I really have to just see every episode as one singular complete entity without calling back on previous ones, however this is a series and thus needs to expand itself through subsequent episodes. To not do so is a failure of concept because this series is very serialized. So in a bubble I really enjoy Niffty. In the series she is a very uncomfortable character to give violent fetishes to and make them so overt. Vivienne ruined that for you all, don’t blame me. Someone should have said how this should have been scrapped before we got this far.

Zestial is suggesting that Alastor may have died at Heaven’s hand. Alastor looks away while laughing. So there is a connection between Heaven and Alastor.

Egg Bois are cute.

Carmella has a bad case of Character Design does not match vocal performance.

Velvette, please never speak again.

Velvette is now 5 inches tall

The yellow blood looks like piss

Can someone tell Lilli Cooper that a lot of British singers don’t have such strong accents when singing. Just please, it’s a great time top drop that bad accent.

James, hi, your singing voice lost the character

The kink shaming be real.

Even Charlie infantalizes Niffty. Geez

This scene in the Turf war was peak Angel Dust. I laughed.

I have to ask, was the music written before or after the singing, because for one, Carmella sounds like she is trying to be heard over it, and second the beat of the music is either lacking or there was an issue with the audio mixing because it just sounds wrong. Like there are melodies and harmonies to a score and one of those is missing. OR, the music is just out of sync entirely with the performer.

Again, just don’t have Vaggie sing. You directed the actor to perform out of her vocal range for her modal voice. Don’t do this to her.

They are not at all harmonized, this is the worst duet I ever heard. Don’t you usually have singers record duets together so they can harmonize their voices? Why didn’t that happen here.

So this big conflict for Vaggie was never a conflict. Best resolution ever.

I like Carmella’s concept. Her character design is kinda trash and the songs were terrible. There was a good idea somewhere in this episode, but from beginning to end every aspect was contrived to just make the story work for the greater plot, the dynamics between the characters be damned. There is a sense of someone wanting to have fun with it while Medrano’s stood behind them with a chokehold on the narrative. It’s disappointing and I feel the writing suffers from Medrano’s obsessive and frantic need for control. This writing feels so insecure and I can only imagine that comes from having a very narrow box to fill.

2/10

I’m taking a break.

[monostardust]

I have so many feelings about iwtv s2 e7 like... Wtf. This whole thing is so fucked up. Lestat looks like he's being tortured while he's on that stage it's like he just wants this to be over and wants to be put to death so he can be with his family. And then there's Louis, Claudia and Madeleine. They're not permitted to speak up for themselves they were already treated like they were guilty (they are but still) and all the justifications they had for doing what they did to Lestat was all just nonsense not something important to even mention. It's maddening you're on trial and you can't even defend yourself tell people why you killed the love of your life. Why they had to do it. Why it was the only way. Imagine going through that, I'd go insane and Madeleine oh poor woman. She's been dragged, shamed and her hair shaven for sleeping with a nazi soldier and now it's like it was happening to her all over again. People are laughing at her imminent demise, at her humiliation, and this time for something she wasn't even a part of. And Armand. He's just full of bullshit. I look at him in that box and I laugh at how ridiculous it was. Someone as old as him couldn't overpower vampires he's ruled over for many years? Please spare me the lies I'm sick of it all. "I could not prevent it." babe, honey, sweetheart, shut the fuck up. I'm so sick of how unreliable all these cunty bitches are. Louis' mind is fucked so ain't no way I'm trusting everything he's said, Lestat is seriously unwell on that stage and I'm pretty sure he's gone half mad so I ain't trusting him as well and obviously not Armand. What am I supposed to believe!?? I am very unwell with how Lestat looks like he wants to impale himself when he was on that stage.

[watanabes-cum-dump]

Kou's AO3 ffxiv fic rec list

I am so insane and I literally have only been reading FFXIV fanfics for like the past four or so months so here r some of my favorites

I will split it up into three categories: reader inserts, WoL OCs, and then yk fics with only the characters.

WARNING: I read lots of unsavory shit so please heed the tags in the links as I will not be going over those in this list.

*length of fics will be rounded to nearest thousand

Reader insert's

The Rise of Emperor Solus zos Galvus by amandaterasu

(Emet Selch x reader) Length: 25k Status: Complete (one shot) Review: You don't understand I think about this fic at least once a day oh my fucking LORD. 25k words just GONE in an instant I read this in like under an hour. Actually gigging and kicking my feet this shit bro liiiiiike the way this author writes Emet Selch... ouuuuughhh. I love it when a man is just so insane for his woman that he finds her in another life and immediately starts courting her. Honestly, this shit is just so good it reads almost like a historical drama in the best ways possible. Yeah it's romance (and smut) but it's also politics (kinda) and idk about you but those are my two favorite things. I now need a full length novel about Emet Selch's rise to emperor of Garlemald but yk what this shit is just as good. Bonus points for this author for introducing me to fanfic reading extensions to replace certain terms I will be using this from now on.

Tremble, Duck, & Weave by OwlEspresso

(Estinien, Aymeric, Haurchefant, Urianger x reader) Length: 31k Status: Incomplete Review: This inspired my current big project, Hellbound and yeah idk something about Ishgardian politics man. I'm gonna warn you right now a lot of these reader insert recs WILL be yandere/yandere-adjacent with a lot of unhealthy themes, general debauchery, and doves ranging from beaten to dead so uh... yeah. That aside, this is just a really fun time. Seeing everyone interact with the reader insert and all the different ways they show (or think about) their twisted affections... hnnnng it makes me a little insane okay. Also, shout out to pervert Haurchefant you will always be near and dear to my heart. We were ROBBED in the English translation

Captivate by samsaur

(Aymeric and Estinien x reader) Length: 41k Status: Incomplete Review: Remember what I said about doves ranging from being beaten up to dead? Well, the dove is definitely dead here, but it's rlly juicy because this shit really does feel like a horror story. I am not qualified to speak on it, but I think this is a great portrayal of Stockholm syndrome and the way it's written really puts you into the shoes of the reader insert and you kind of feel that hot and silent shame of being held captive like this. Also, one of my favorite niches of FFXIV fanfics is apparently villain Aymeric. Idk why but he is so good as a villain probably because he had every single reason to turn out one, and he would be a far more terrifying villain than Thordan. If Aymeric wasn't our ally during Heavensward, he would undoubtedly be a huge threat to us and this fic kinda takes that and dangles it over your head. Because, yes, Aymeric is holding the reader captive but he is also helping Alphinaud and Tataru out. It's this balancing act where we know Aymeric is capable of really fucked up things but he is still playing at the perfect image of our noble ally. You find yourself yelling at everyone else not to trust him because you, the reader and his captive, know that he is a piece of shit in this AU and I think it's glorious. Uhhh Estinien is there too ig. It's no fault on the author's part but I just don't really vibe with Estinien as a love interest. Though, his dynamic with Aymeric and the reader is extremely interesting to me. I can't say too much without spoiling all the fun, but I think in a way Aymeric has him trapped under this thumb too.

I'd Ask For Your Soul, But It's Already Mine by Dotharl

(Zenos x reader) Length: 29k Status: Incomplete Review: Guys it's fucking Zenos PLEASE read the tags on this one. Anyways I love my porn kjakjfjkjakhshjfjhk. Okay but genuinely I always say this, but Zenos is surprisingly genuine as a love interest because he doesn't put WoL up on a pedestal and just loves them for all of their worst bits and THAT is the appeal of enemies to lovers. This fic plays with that, especially with the reader insert being a Dark Knight WoL where Fray talks some sense into them and helps them recognize their self worth. I won't lie to you, this fic starts out with VERY fucked up Yandere fuckboy Zenos energy with all of the dubcon included, but I kinda don't care + it's just genuinely well written at times. The dynamic between WoL and Zenos is very nice here, bc yeah it starts out... like that and then it evolves into mutual respect when the reader realizes that Zenos would treat them well and not yk use them as a weapon. Albeit, it does go kind of quick but eh, it's like 4 chapters so I can't fault the author THAT much. Besides, not to diminish the fic, but it IS pretty clearly just kind of a pornfest and that is A-Okay with me! This shit was also last updated in like 2022 so I'm pretty sure it's abandoned.

Not a Champion, Just a Knight by Kei_Cordelle

(Haurchefant x reader)

Length: 23k Status: Incomplete Review: This one is in kind of a weird position because this is an AU where WoL dies at the Vault instead of Haurchefant, so there isn't exactly any HaurcheWoL action to speak of. But, WoL definitely haunts the characters' actions. Bro, when I tell you, the worst part of this fic is actually Alphinaud being very NOT OKAY bc WoL is dead. He is just a baby what the fuck do you mean he watched his friend, confidant, and hero die in front of him???? Yeah sorry I love Alphinaud a normal amount. (that is my SON) Anyways, this is written in first person which is weirdly a turn off for some people? I don't get the hate tbh, because first person just opens up so many fun opportunities! You can break the fourth wall much easier and directly address the reader, and you can also have the vibe that this is a retrospective of what the character saw. The later is definitely the vibe this fic gives. It's like, if the Heavensward memoir was written from Haurche's perspective in this AU. To me, I like to think that this fic is Haurchefant telling the tale of his greatest love and regret in writing. I feel like the action scenes could use some work but they're not terrible. It's just that they're literally one to one recounting of the Heavensward trials and it's just not the best. I think there's also the issue of the cast becoming slightly bloated so it is a bit rough to account for everyone's actions during fight sequences. I really do love this fic though because I think it's really interesting to see how everyone is unraveling. Obviously, we as the WoL take on a lot of things that are almost impossible for everyone else so to see them take on the monumental burden of the hero is very interesting. How would our companions react to certain things? Since during most trials in canon we take it on alone, how does everyone else fit in? Are they all doing the mechanics correctly? All in all, solid fic and I am holding out hope for that fated final fifth chapter since the last time it was updated was back in January and it was started back in 2022 so one day I hope that this will be complete and I get to see the final mental breakdown as the squad completes Heavensward with the legacy of WoL looming over them ✨

WoL OC Inserts

Coerthan Traitor by Cascanora (@cascanora here on Tumblr)

(Zenos x OC, a bit of typical Emet Selch and Azem reincarnation messiness) Length: 190k (GOD DAMN-) Status: Ongoing Review: The author of this fic is highkey like a celebrity to me bc I gobble up their art like it's fucking Christmas morning. Imagine being God's favorite and being blessed with the ability to draw AND WRITE??? Fucking insanity bro. Also, their OC, Crow is fine as hell like one chance ma'am pleeeeeeaaaaaseeee goddddddd- Anyways onto the actual fic, I am admittedly only on the first arc which is kind of like the childhood arc ig. But I really love it so far because I've just never seen anyone really write Zenos being kind of young and vulnerable and playful? That's a lie, I think I've read like one Zenos fluff that I'll have to dig through my AO3 history to find again (bc you'd best believe none of my bookmarks are fluffly...) so I just really like the change of pace. Zenos is obviously always put in more enemies to lovers type scenarios so I kinda like this different angle because yeah maybe he was something resembling normal at one point. Obviously he's very fucked up for a reason, but he was a kid too. He didn't always go off about biting jugulars and drinking blood or something, he got fucked up. I am so far absolutely living for a lot of the political stuff bc as I've said before, romance with a side of politics (or vice versa) is my cup of tea and nobody pulls this shit off better than fanfic authors. I'm really interested to see where the political stuff goes but it's like 2am (sheesh) as I'm writing this so I will have to delve further into this fic later. Anyways can I take a moment to talk about Crow and Zenos? Because they're so fucking cute I love themmmmm. I feel like I'm coming at this as someone who has seen a lot of Cascanora's art so I see when Crow and Zenos' relationship develop into when they're adults, so seeing the early stages of it is really cool to me. I don't quite know how to explain it? But anyways I am raving about this fic bc I think it just builds them both up so well and again, I don't see Zenos written to be playful and yk act his age the way he does around Crow. They just work together so well and while at the point of the story I'm at they're definitely just friends, I think that's the beautiful thing about friends to lovers. Regardless if it's romantic or platonic love, Zenos and Crow are a package deal. Also, Emet Selch/Solus in this fic is perfect. I LOVE my geriatric old man telling stories about his past. I would go off about how I am very captivated by the whole Galvus family dynamic but I will save that for the other fics bc this review section is already super fucking long and you had BEST BELIEVE I'm scouring the internet for Galvus family fics. I lied I will talk about this a little more because this strikes an odd chord with me as someone who wrote a lot of my own longform OC x Canon growing up. I kinda shamed myself off doing that kinda stuff as I got older, but diving into FFXIV where everyone becomes fucking Shakespear with their WoLs has made me let go of my fears of being a cringefailure and embrace the OC x Canon. To see really well written and thought out OC insert stuff is very comforting to me bc I often worry abt my own OCs being shitty and not really fitting in but fics like this assure me that hey, maybe I can make cool shit and that really is the most beautiful part of fanfiction and fandom in general. Fandom is this incredible loop of finding amazing shit and thinking "wow, I wanna do that too" and it's just really rewarding.

Save the Last Dance For Me by lalahganaja

(Alphinaud x WoL OC) Length: 11k Status: Complete (yatta!!!!) Review: ALPHINAUD MY BEAUTIFUL SONNNNN AAAAAAAARRRGGHHHSJGFKJGSGKHJHJF. This fic is so delightful bc it feels like I'm cheering on my children to kiss. A'tahja is so fucking precious and her and Alphinaud just bounce off each other so well. This fic also has the other Scions making an appearance and I fucking love it so much. Found family will never NOT make me absolutely batshit insane. Like yes, Y'shtola mamma cat <3 anyways *chews on Alphinaud and A'tahja* This is just so insanely fluffy and it made me slam my desk every few minutes bc cute teenage love story!!!! How can I not!!!! Alphinaud just acts like an adult a lot of the time and gets put in a lot of adult situations, but in this fic he just gets to be a little guy. A'tahja too, obviously as the WoL she's often off doing insane shit that no teenager should ever have to do and bearing burdens that are too much for a little skrunkly such as herself. But here they just get to be silly little kiddies who are very down bad for each other and it's adorable. I think another thing I really liked was A'tahja getting more in touch with her femininity? Idk how to put. But basically she had really short hair for most of her life bc she pretended to be a boy while in poverty, so to see her be A) pampered and B) learn to take care of herself and be more girly was super cute to see. Also, I am just always really surprised whenever I remember that Alphinaud can drink lmao. Like no, you are a baby (I was the same age as Alphinaud when I started playing this game) put the beer down and go sip on a capri sun or smth. God. Kids these days...

Canon character fics (?)

and i'm your clone, your strange creation by egg(strwpup)

(Fortemps familial angst from Artoirel's pov) Length: 6k Status: Complete (oneshot) Listen to me, I love this fic beyond words, but for the sake of my mental health I will NEVER read this shit again. My daddy issues go fucking DEEP like this is utter insanity. Don't get me wrong it is beautifully written and I love complicated family dynamics- but by god this fucked me up so bad. See, I like to personally believe that Edmont was a good, albeit flawed father but his sons know that he loves them and they love him in turn. But I know deep down in my heart of hearts that it is so much more complicated than that because you know, we can't have nice things here at Square Enix. It just personally fucks me up because I too, like Artoirel in this fic, am a momma's boy at heart and I... kinda hate my dad lmao. Basically, I kin Artoirel in this fic. Oldest child who has it out for my father + hates that I'm kinda like him. He loves his mother but holds contempt for his father, perhaps unfairly but can you blame him? (yeah I'm not only describing Artoirel here...) Edmont is a less than stellar father in this fic but you can tell he loves his kids and aaaaaaaaa I'm tearing up again. The complicated family dynamics + the drama of what happened in Heavensward is just so fucking delicious bro. 10/10 this fic destroyed me in every sense of the word and I do not want to go through that emotional reckoning again. However, I will be writing Edmont as a shitty dad in my fics now. Sorry but I am always just so insane for that sweet sweet eldest child and father dynamic because it's always so disastrous. Having parents is just so strange.

mon corps, le mien; mon coeur, le tien by steelthighsvoideyes

(Aymeric x Haurchefant x Estinien with a side of angst + Haurchefant survives the Vault AU) Length: 43k Status: Incomplete Review: I also started tearing up while writing this review because Haurchefant just does that to me okay? I feel like with a lot of Ishgard trio ship fics Haurche is always kind of left out? Or, he feels a bit tacked on to the Estimeric dynamic. That, or he's just sitting there with unrequited love bc clearly this man has not suffered enough. With this fic however, it definitely feels a lot more balanced. Like yeah a majority of the fic is just Haurchefant and Estinien bonding in the hospital, but Aymeric still feels present because of their shared past and how it's constantly being brought up. (in a good way) All three of them get the spotlight so you don't really lean towards one pairing. Romance aside, I really like the Ishgard trio's established dynamic in this fic because they're just guys being dudes. Besties who were in the military together. Like, Aymeric balances the trio out, Haurchefant is the sort of boisterous youngest member and Estinien is gruff and sarcastic and the banter between the three of them just flows so naturally. It's an actual friendship dynamic that serves as a solid foundation for what will hopefully be a romantic dynamic later on. Once again, friends to lovers is so good for this reason because the foundation is already there. You appreciate them as a person and you are aware of their flaws from the get-go, so when it turns romantic you skip a lot of the awkward exploration phase and can just be comfortable with each other. Anyways as for the crying part- the Fortemps familial drama follows Haurche throughout this fic and it does make me a little, tiny bit crazy. Not gonna spoil it, but the way Haurchefant feels about his family in this fic is just so real and visceral because of course it's super complicated. Once again, I like Edmont being a good dad, but realistically, it's shades of gray. Another thing about Haurchefant that not only this fic does but a lot of other people also head canon, is that his selflessness and willing to give can be self destructive at times. Once again, not gonna spoil, but it's just super heartbreaking to read Haurchefant be almost hypocritical, telling his friends to take care of themselves only for him to almost completely disregard himself. That's kind of what he does at the Vault in the first place, like that man died knowing that he did the right thing and protected his friend and oh god I'm gonna cry again I should stop talking... (I am not even kidding when I say that I will eventually write a Haurchefant character essay...)

Unicorn's Favor by Neyasochi

(Aymeric x Haurchefant x Estinien, yet another Haurche survives the Vault AU) Length: 34k Status: Complete Review: So, this is one of those fics where I feel Haurchefant is kinda just taped onto the Estimeric dynamic, and that's fine, it's whatever, I'm here for the porn and the banter. The premise of this fic is that Haurche helps get Estinien and Aymeric together and then smutty gay things happen. And that's all well and good BUT I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE FORTEMPS BROTHERS IN THIS FIC!!! *holds them gentle* For me, the best part of this fic was Haurchefant's relationship with his family which for a change, is NOT super angsty and complicated. It's all very heartwarming to see how in this fic the brothers get along very well (contrary to canon where unfortunately we know they were never very close) and to see Haurchefant really appreciate that he's still alive and gets to be around the people he loves more. It's just super cute and fluffy and now I just need fics like this in general. Yeah whatever it's not canon that the Fortemps bros actually like each other this much BUT IDC!!!! YOU NEVER SEPERATE TRIOS!!!! Speaking of trios, the Ishgard trio dynamic in this is yk it's fine it's whatever. In this particular fic, I find it quite cute that Haurche had a crush on Aymeric as a kid, so even if they aren't all buddy buddy in this fic there's still that lingering admiration and it's cute. I also completely swear by pansexual Haurchefant bc that man does NOT discriminate. Okay enough abt the French I will talk about the Italians (Romans) now.

Far colder on the earth than in the heavens by Altimas_Bane

(Galvus family things) Length: 7k Status: Complete Review: I told you I love my familial angst. No, I'm NOT okay. It DOES make me absolutely rabid that Emet Selch as Solus couldn't help but have some hope for the sundered because of Lucius because can you fucking imagine that??? Your son who gave you a little bit of hope for the broken, shattered people who replaced your brethren dies and that is the nail in the coffin. That is what makes you fully believe that they are unworthy. It was briefly mentioned in the short story "Through his Eyes", but Emet Selch had a little bit of hope for Lucius, and he was probably distraught when his son died. This fic goes over that agonizing feeling of watching someone slowly waste away from sickness. It is slow, it is painful, and it is gut wrenching. Idk man, just read it.

Son, Father, Emperor by January Blue

(Varis reflecting on his life and especially his relationship with Zenos)

Length: 12k Status: Complete Review: Heyyyyyy do you bitches remember when I said that Varis probably loved Zenos when he was younger but eventually held contempt for the monster he created? You all probably thought I was crazy for reading them like this BUT I'M NOT!!!!! Anyways fatherly angst strikes again (I am in shambles and this fic goes onto the list of fics that I will never read again for the sake of my mental health) LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN WELL; Varis and Zenos' relationship isn't so black and white. No I'm not defending Varis- but come on the entire Galvus family is fucking crazy man. Anyways, to quote the comment I left on this fic because I do not want to repeat and retype it myself: "Varis, in a lineage of men that are strong, born into the arena that is politics, is WEAK because he is EMOTIONAL. Solus/Emet Selch calls him emotional in the cutscene he was introduced in (unless I'm hallucinating) and that SENT me because I was forced to rethink all of the information we had been shown of Varis until then. I wrote him off as a shallow villain but I did some digging and Varis is surprisingly the most empathetic in the Galvus household and it SHOWS whenever Solus berated him in cutscenes." Varis had emotions, he had morals he had a line that he would not cross. He has been shown to be merciful (when we parlayed with him in the Ghimlyt Dark) and it's known that he at least cared for his late wife, Zenos' mother. Obviously, he would extend that to his son at one point, right? Perhaps when he was still young and unmarked by the world- right???? See, I really like this fic because it frames Varis' absence from Zenos' life as unintentional, but at the same time, it does not absolve him of the fact that he is a terrible father. I don't want to say too much because I would very much like it if YOU, my dearest reader, took as much emotional damage reading this as I did- but I digress. Varis and Zenos' relationship is not as simple as "Varis hates Zenos" there's obviously some shades of gray here. I personally believed that there's no way Varis hated Zenos because Zenos' mother died in childbirth, and clearly, other people think the same. Listen, you don't just hate your own flesh and blood, at least, not from the very beginning. It's a slow process, and I know it in my heart of hearts that Varis regretted what he let happen to Zenos This fic is just so wonderfully written and I was actually kinda bouncing around my room reading this. Once again, major daddy issues, so maybe that's why I like believing that Varis loved Zenos once upon a time. Something, something, father's love their kids until they grow a mind of their own.

And that's my list! In the future as I make my way through fanfics I have marked for later due to spoilers, I might make another one of these because I think people need to read this shit!!!!

If one of your fics is on here please send me an ask so that I might go back and edit this to tag you!

[alexa-nowak]

One of my old texts from YouTube arguments about Astarion endings

I am not that invested in this discourse nowadays because I lost hope to change anyone's opinion and also, I am simply tired from dealing with toxic bs that I am getting as a response to some of my old comments on YT to this day. My favourites are those who will reply to my every comment to say how delulu I am and I probably just dreaming about being in a toxic relationships myself, while being unable to understand that people have their own ways to heal through art and that throwing poison on people like that is not helpful at all.

I will leave it there and funny enough, I am not even so much of AA fan, I just don't like people being ignorant and rude.

And I like writing essays, so here it is.

So, what this dark romance fantasy is about for me personally,(even though i prefer spawn romance, i absolutely understand the appeal of A!Astarion because honestly, i was all about this kind of romance during my childhood and teenage years, hardocore the Phantom of the Opera girl is here, inside your head 💀), and why it's also healing route for some players,and no, it's not about kinky vampiric banging.

1)A lot of people feel extremely worthless and insecure, lonely, like no one really cares for them at all. It's a very deep wound that hurts and it's difficult to overcome even in perfectly loving, healthy and supportive relationship with a good partner,and even with therapy. So fantasy about a vampire, being obsessed with you so much that he is ready to do absolutely anything just to be with you for forever is really comforting. Also,you don't have to think too much about your imperfections, because for him you like a center of his vampire heart.

Besides, you sympathise with him - it's like a selfcomfort mirror, i love this monster despite everything, so in a way, i accept myself despite any flaws i see in me.

2) Safety. When the world around you feel like a wilderness, full of monsters, it feels like only the most terrifying loving monster can protect you from it. He is powerful and protective, and i am so precious to him, that he will set the world on fire just so i would be safe.

3) Responsibility. As you may see, this kind of relationship have daddy issues vibes and codependency, and in real life, you can't just fully submit safely to anyone, I don't think i have to explain why it's a dangerous idea to seek this kind of relationships in real life. You have to stay a grown up independent person and seek safety for yourself without expecting someone to come and heal all your wounds. But this is fantasy, so finally you can use this as a comfort fantasy with no fear about being taking advantage of, without shame to be called childish and etc.

4) Independence. Spawn ending is very terrifying for anyone who has issues with feeling safe and independent, because some of us prefer violent power fantasies over "we have each other and that's all that matters", second of all, this ending also has some shady co-dependency undertone to it that can be triggering for some people. I love Spawn Astarion a little bit more more than Asc and yet my heart stayed absolutely broken after running away from the sun scene, and i hate that he is so dependent on Tav. Larian owes me some emotional refund after this.

5)SA trauma: it wasn't even seen as a possibility for healing way by writer, but it is for some.Asc Astarion feels like he is the most powerful creature in the world,and he is fully controlling everything that happens between him and Tav,so finally, it's a kind of situation where there is no chance of him being abused again. It's one of the reasons why some people become Doms in BDSM dynamic relationships: finally, full control of the process and a partner, who trusts then enough to fully submit, trust issues is also big deal in Astarion story of healing. I find idea that that only Subs can enjoy Asc Astarion a little bit naive. Because,well, some news for you: Doms like it too because they understand why he is so eager to be a top

Unrealistic, not the healthiest way? Probably! But this man and this love is not real anyway.

Yes, i think many of us, especially folks who went through therapy and a lot of self reflecting are already aware that it's basically romanticized version of narcissistic obsession and in real life this is creepy, but it's not real, it's a fantasy. People use BDSM to heal, romance books and all other forms of art to deal with their inner demons and it's absolutely normal. Even if someone is blind to see what is wrong with Asc Astarion, I highly doubt that toxic bucket of shame and aggression are able to help see anyone problematic side of things. Do you know who is usually up to romanticize toxic dynamic in romance? Victims of abuse. In real life, if you just scream and yell at any poor girl/boy/whatever about how stupid they are for believing that their abusive partner really loves them, people will either break down and cry or tell you to f#ck off and they will have every right to do so, but they won't see what's wrong with their partner,in whom quite often victims of abuse see their only source of love and safety in life.

Hells, I am so sick and tired from this "white cloak knight saviour from cycle of abuse" toxic flood in this fandom. If you really want to educate people - do it with extreme care and compassion. Real life healing is not working like it's with Astarion in the game,few right dialogs and boom, dude is on the right path.

It takes enormous amount of patience and love, be kind to one another, and stay safe, darlings. Being toxic on Asc fans you are not helping anyone, you just hitting your superiority complex button in your ass.

[zzencat]

Some of my own Tarot observations + interpretations so far (outside their universal meanings):

Note: NOT IN ORDER and more of my outside-of-the-box interpretations. Some 18+ mentions. Mostly made as a list for me to keep in mind — Will be updated sometimes

Last updated: sept 19, 2024

Queen of Swords: sharp tongue, head over heart (naturally unbiased, yet still neutral and self-defensive); will come to your defense if she trusts you and what your argument is; very logical; feminine energy/figure mentor

Queen of Cups: expects reciprocation; very emotionally in tune and intuitive

The Star: inspiration, young at heart, unforgettable impression; status of celebrity/public recognition

3 of cups: cheating (in romantic relationship); a feeling or person that doesn’t belong; “3 is a crowd”

The Hermit: urging to taking a “step” in an unknown direction (there’s only so much you could light up with the lamp), either a step into the inner depths of your character, mind, and soul, or a step forward in a life/daily choice

4 of wands: can symbolize moving somewhere else

4 (in general) - stability, contemplation, stagnation, defensive/defending (a person/situation/establishment/achievement/foundation), conservation

Numbers 5 and 7 - “pit stops” in my definition ,, 5 being big blockage #1 and 7 being extra doubt when things are going too good

4 of pentacles: doing too much/too little; selfish; frugal/strict with money

2 of cups: dating stage (not necessarily love)

The Devil: can escape from situation but mentally/emotionally blinded; feeling full-on horny

The Sun rx: not getting enough sun/not going outside enough, introversion; loss of youth; vulnerable — too vulnerable that you’re stripped dry and will disintegrate (lowkey pitiful)

The hanged man: seeing things from a different/uncomfortable perspective; boredom; laziness; masochism

2 of swords: you alr know what the answer is/what to do so stop contemplating; taking a shot in the dark; challenging yourself or not really trying

The Tower: self sabotage, erections, orgasms

Ace of swords: erections, forming an idea (good or bad)

Page of swords: “I have an idea!” - but it’s from a kid so it comes off as cute and immature (underdeveloped idea/not to be taken seriously yet)

Page of Wands: “I guess this is where we split, huh? It’s a shame, but I’ll see you at some point!”

10 of swords (aside from backstabs and cutting things off, end of a cycle): sooooo done n tired with life and everything; sadder but stronger; eyebags; a clearly depressed person

9 of swords: “this shit keeps me awake at night…”

Hanged man, 8 of swords, the devil: pretty much the same when talking abt stagnant energy [you have completely power to leave and improve your situation, but ya ain’t bc of your own self (mentally/emotionally)]; purposely trapping yourself in that state and playing victim; masochistic tendencies (in sex as well)

5 of wands: instigator, paying attention to the lesser of two evils, someone who easily gets into fights/argumentative but can’t see the bigger picture

Wheel of fortune, 2 of wands, the chariot: make a decision even if you think it’s the wrong path or direction; the worst thing you can do is stop/be in stagnancy

Judgment: playing by your own tune, reflection, needing to change up old ways

Justice: good or bad karma, not getting what you deserve, being too harsh on oneself/strict; working in the justice system

High priestess + the chariot + temperance (+ maybe the moon): when in the same reading, it can signify movement between realms (I just observed this in recent readings so I’d need to get more info); being at an interface or point of equilibrium

High Priestess: seeing things you can’t see; a state between the 3D and 5D

7 of cups (I’ve officially defined this one a while ago and am 99% sure it represents at least one of these whenever it shows up): frustration; impatience; idleness; procrastination; confusion; many things offered to you; not knowing what to do next (HOWEVER a big nuance between 7 of cups and 4 of cups, is that 7oC is more…“active” energy, like more…emotionally charged in frustration than 4oC. 4oC is more bordering indifference when waiting for things to play out or waiting for more to come in before you make a decision…waiting for the “right” moment. 7oC is like you’re gonna choose one of the options while you have them—you just don’t know what to do/choose or which way to go)

King of cups: being emotionally receptive and kindhearted but also naive—not as emotionally intelligent or intuitive as the Queen of cups tho

4 of cups: shit waiting on the back burner but querent/subject is purposely tuning them out (slightly more in depth under the 7oC bullet point); stalling bc you keep trying to have hope a better outcome will surface

Queen of wands: willing to get hands dirty to get what you want, spontaneous/moving without plan

7 of swords: perceived deception/sneakiness/lies; reevaluation/recalibration (but the recalibration aspect relies on the independent variable- like having to trick yourself into thinking you’re happy when you’re not)

Queen of pentacles: smart, practical, organized (more so than the other queens)

The Lovers: primal desire for the other (romantic or platonic); seeking validation (presumably one feels less/“more naked” in the face of the other); taking you “out of yourself”; deliberately putting yourself in a vulnerable position even if you lose yourself in the process; quality you desire to have within yourself (may cause unhealthy behaviors/thinking patterns); connection with your counterpart (meaning also your relationship with yourself); mind, body, and soul connection (own personal holy self trinity)

Blindfolds: easily cut/removed -> answer/preferred direction or method is right in front of you, but you’re choosing not to see it or do it

8 of swords: (in a courtroom example) the defendant is the person trapped in the swords — the swords in this case would be the people’s opinions of the person or their own thoughts (any of which are in the form of ideas that are projected and trap the defendant inside that “cage”)

7 of wands: too much responsibility on querent/subject

9 of pentacles: having time to relax and do what you want like hobbies or hitting people up; spoiled (rich background); living in luxury so you don’t have to worry about other things

5 of pentacles: mental illness or declining mental health (when you could get help right around the corner); being physically sick

3 of swords: depression; deep sorrow; unfulfilled emotional desires; being on your period(?)

TBA

Extras:

From what I’ve observed and tested out, Tarot reading picks up on energies at the current millisecond — energies are more fluid than time and change every single second — cards will pick up on the overwhelming majority of where the energy is (assuming the tarot reader is at a balanced and unbiased state of mind). You could be happy one minute, sad the next (maybe moodiness problems)

Cards will pick up on future spouse qualities that you dream of yours having (or fantasize about) and not necessarily always your real future spouse

Sometimes the cards “don’t answer” your question. The cards that come out are what you’re supposed to be focusing on

TBA

[dreamer-after-dark]

No one else asked so

What are his kinks? Top bottom or switch? Would he enjoy having y/n as a full time Dom or sub?

Scandalous! He would love for Y/N to be his darling submissive, he does roleplay/imagine his flings as Y/N. Whatever he would to do them is what he desperately wants from them.

Wally is a switch, but he prefers being the dominant one. He likes to talk his partners through foreplay, penetration, and orgasm. His pleasure is derived from seeing his partner struggle with his length only to soften at his praise. He likes to asks questions and have them respond without shame. Wally himself doesn't enjoy extreme bondage as it makes him uncomfortable, and that's going either way. The most he will do is pin their partners wrists with one hand of cage them in with his body.

Most times he's sweet, encouraging, and controlling. Talking them through allows him a sense of control over his partner. He won't force eye contact, but it's his favorite thing to watch someones control slip away when he whispers his sweet words. He can be aggressive.

This is usually when he is feeling his most selfish. He is burnt out, failing to tamper the forming heat within his gut. When he returns home and he finds his partner there smiling away so trusting and loving, he feels the frustration grow. The rousing twitch signaling the rush of blood.

His lips are a thin line. His eyes are blackened. His beautifully made up pompadour grows frizzy. He steps forward his bag plopping to the ground beside them. He takes their hands in his as his eyes captivate them. He leans on close his forehead bumping gently against theirs. His lips are rough and his kiss barely contained.

His partner is on the couch with their wrists held roughly in his grasp while his other hand works a bit quickly between their legs. His hair has come undone. His pants are pulled down and he's removing their underwear soon after. He doesn't smile. He doesn't encourage. He does spit and he does prod. All he wants is for you to keep your eyes on his. And if you're lucky his belt may become your collar.

"Tell me how good I am, Y/N."