#truama nightmares

[thatguyrobin]

Sick sick SICK of my health getting worse. I’m so fucking fed up with finding out new stuff wrong with me that I just have to learn to live with.

Went for an emergency eye appointment today cause I’ve been getting new weird visual disturbances, most distressingly a bright white flash that covers most of my vision when it occurs. Immediately worried it was another possible retinal tear/detachment I made this appointment. Good news is, it’s not that. Bad news is, it’s just another part of the retinal/ocular migraines I seem to be getting pretty fucking consistently right now. Which is obviously way less bad that the alternative and I’m grateful BUT there’s nothing I can do about this sort from just learn to live with it, and any future fucked up visuals. Retinal migraine along with hemiplegic migraines cause so much anxiety cause they can replicate other very serious problems, and where I don’t actually get the headache part of the migraine, how am I ever going to know??? Again, glad I don’t get the headache part cause that sounds awful but it would also be a very obvious way to know it was ‘just’ a migraine. Instead of stressing whenever my arms go weak or my vision goes weird or I feel like I’m gonna fall over even when I’m literally just sitting down.

ALSO had a heart appointment (with an accompanying panic attack on the walk through the corridor - yay trauma ��) only for it to be a complete waste of time cause they only did an ECG and not an echo like always, cause all the slots were taken up. Now have to go back in a few weeks for that too, and I’m soooo jazzed cause the hospital is my absolute FAV place to be /s

To top it off this last week has been full of nonstop nightmares and trauma-related nightmares and the amount of sleep I’m getting is shockingly bad because of it. Shit makes me scared to go to bed cause I don’t wanna wake up 2 hours later scared shitless and unable to get back to sleep. Get though the day with the inevitable (again, interrupted) nap and repeat.

ON A GOOD NOTE, however. I’ve been using my exercise bike which was SUCH a good investment because 1) I can’t really go out and 2) my bones hurt, but where this is low impact and literally in my flat I can do it whenever I want to, so I’m finally getting consistent exercise which is helping my weight loss alongside my calorie deficit (plus I’m actually cooking real food - granted, the most basic stuff, but gotta start somewhere!). Lost 6lb since I started 4 weeks ago and I’m so happy it’s actually working. There’s also the bonus of getting to do maths every day which is fun, and I can see the progress written down which helps keep me at it.

Life has its ups and downs and I’m so appreciative of all the good things that have been happening lately, but sometimes I get bummed out by the bad bits too, and that’s allowed.

[shortkinglogan]

Comparing Wade and Logan's healing factors

I keep reading fics that seem unsure about how their individual healing factors work and differ so I'm making this post to help clear it up for anyone who cares (if you just wanna make stuff up for fun more power to ya)

Let's start with

Logan

As far as what he can heal from, it seems as long as there is a small amount of his genetic code, and as long as it gets enough energy, he can regenerated from just about anything.

He needs tons of calories to maintain the healing factor normally.

He can even regenerated from just a skeleton and it only takes a few minutes to happen.

He isn't seen reattaching limbs but I'd assume this is possible under the right conditions, for the same reasons Wade can do it.

There's also the rest of his abilities that are directly effected by his healing factor.

Without the admantium on his bones, his healing factor isn't constantly working, and his senses and instincts become more powerful, making him more likely to go feral. He also cannot regenerated the admantium because it wasn't a natural part of him to begin with.

Feral Logan is like a mental state he regresses into, he has been without the admantium and still not fully feral, seemingly because he has some people to anchor him, though he is still more animalistic like this. He can even be pulled back out of that mental state by just the scent of someone he cares about.

Wade

His healing is very similar to Logan's, yet also very different.

Wade also can regenerated from just a drop of blood if it can get energy to do so, for Wade, instead of an energy crystal thing, it's Logan's energy, growing off him like an ear on a mouse.

His healing factor works about as fast as Logan's as well able to regenerated quickly when needed. Unlike Logan though, Wade has been seen reattaching limbs instead of just growing them back, but it makes sense both could do it, Logan just keeps getting those dismembered limbs thrown miles away or destroyed so he didn't get a chance as far as I know to do the same as Wade.

Now this i see being weirdly interpreted and I feel like I know what's going on.

Its not a "dying factor" it's still a healing factor, it's just weird because of how CANCER works. Cancer is not dead cells, it's mutated constantly growing cells, so a healing factor would not pick that up as something to kill off or heal from, so wades cancer just spread until his entire body, skin bones and all, are nothing but cancerous cells, and stopping the cancer stops the healing because it stops the cells from regrowing, this, stopping his healing (of he wasn't made of cancer he may still be able to heal even if the cancer was stopped)

What his healing factor is constantly working on however is the effects of all this cancer on his body, he probably experiences a different organ failing on him and regrowing almost every day. So what would happen if he had no cancer to make his healing factor constantly work? Could he go feral too?

Short answer no, in fact, Logan's feral state is more because of his other abilities than the healing factor, I feel like a Wade without the cancer would be like Nicepool, not in constant pain and trying to cover it up, not mentally unstable due to many brain tumors, and doesn't really have a reality hole in his brain.

Also in the comics at least, not MCU Wade, he is cursed with immortality by Thanos cause he was jealous Wade was with death romantically, so he literally cannot die, and the healing factor is no longer even a real player in his inability to die.

So in conclusion

Their healing factors work basically in the exact same way, just has a different effect on each of them due to their respective personal traits (cancer brain vs animal brain)

Neither is better than the other, they are equals, at least until Wade starts mackin on death and becomes immortal.

You just can't kill them without starving them first, and even then we know Logan will eat himself (and feed his flesh to Wade) before allowing either to starve.

Side note, they definitely can age (or at least, Logan does, Wade being immortal and all can't now) even with the healing factor, it doesn't stop aging, but it does make him able to live WAY longer than any normal human. Gotta give some love to old man Logan.

If anyone thinks I've missed something or has theories for things that aren't solid confirmed that differ from my own please lmk! 💙💛

[bubblesandducky]

Arcane season 2 act 1 just casually ended on the most chilling scene in the whole show for me.

The declaration for war, and rhythmic thumping of men and women in uniform.

All eyes turned to the most broken, lost and vulnerable young woman in the room. Shes shocked and horrified, but more than anything she’s desperate. Staring at her is the woman who called on her. The woman who sees how big the hole in her heart is, and is completely aware of what she’s doing.

The thumping starts to drown out Caitlyn’s reservations, it’s loud and overwhelming. Weather she knows it consciously or not, she has no choice. Shes completely frozen, but then she sees hope in her friend’s eyes and it’s enough for her to accept. She might even start to consider that this is how to fill the hole inside her.

She is the perfect puppet.

[waywardsou2]

This was inspired/made for @mrcorkus. You've got the right idea mate.

Summary: A past so dark, and stained with blood will always come back to haunt them. One way or another.

Word Count: 2.2k+

Tags: Nightmares, past trauma, past abuse, death, canon typical violence

Logan was sitting by the window, taking large puffs of his cigar. Wade was sitting in the bathroom. Staring at himself in the mirror, pulling his mask off and shoving it back on his face at random intervals.

Tonight was not a good night. For either of them.

They kept their distances, knowing they weren't good company when things got like this.

And by this, they meant when the two of them were suffering from the effects of their pasts. A time when Logan couldn't stuff down all he remembered he'd done, and Wade couldn't crack a joke to hide the fact that he couldn't stand the thought of someone actually loving him.

He still didn't believe that Logan loved him. Even though he had saved Wade's universe when he didn't have to. Stayed when he could have been anywhere else. Agreed to be Wade's boyfriend even though there were plenty of fish in the sea. He didn't believe a face and a mind like his was worthy of being loved. He looked into the mirror, trying to see even the smallest glimpse of what Logan saw in him. But he couldn't.

There was nothing there except his horribly scarred face and his even worse past as a mercenary. It lurked behind his eyes, like a constant, haunting reminder.

And Logan, couldn't understand why Wade saw him as anything more than a monster. That's what he was after all. A wild killing machine, a feral animal. A dog that at any moment might snap its leash and run wild.

He didn't know why Wade cared for him. Why Wade tried to make him smile, and how he even succeeded. He didn't understand why Wade accommodated for him in his life.

Eventually Wade came out of the bathroom with the biggest fake smile he could muster, having left his mask on the sink.

He turned to Logan saying "I'm off to bed kitten, join me soon?"

He said it in a sing song voice as he slipped over to give Logan a peck on the cheek.

"Yeah yeah, see you soon bub"

Wade smushed Logan's face in his hand, pressing his cheeks together. "I love you Wolvie"

And without another word he skipped back to their room. Passing Al who was sitting passed out on the couch.

"You're really gonna leave an old woman sleeping on the couch? For shame" he said to the writer who wanted to mention Al but couldn't be bothered working out the logistics of their living situation.

Wade changed into his favourite shirt and PJ pants. His bright pink Hello Kitty pants and his white custom made shirt that said "Two seater" with an arrow pointing to his mouth and his crotch.

He climbed into bed, grabbing his unicorn stuffie and passing out almost instantly. No one said it was easy being a hyperactive, traumatised fourth wall breaker.

After an hour, and four more cigars, Logan stumbled his way to bed. Hoping sleep would steal his thoughts away from his last moments with X-Men. How...angry they had been. How much he wished he could take back all that had led to them being taken from him. Wishing he hadn't taken for granted how much of a loving family they were to him.

He stripped himself of his pants and his shirt, crawling into bed in only his boxers before he too passed out.

The night dwindled on as Logan and Wade were sleeping. Wade was curled over on his side. His fist clutching at the blanket. Whilst Logan was on his back the blanket kicked away from him roughly.

Neither of them had found the peace they were hoping for through sleep.

Logan was tossing and turning in the bed, his face twisted into a pained scowl. Logan was getting terrible flashes of his past mingled with his not-so-recent present. He remembers his time with Stryker. Feeling the pain course through his body as he took Logan's body and twisted it into a weapon. Logan was taken advantage of, convinced and manipulated. His mind becoming a mess of thoughts and orders that he didn't want to follow but was compelled to.

He saw his family, his real one and the one he found. He saw his father, his true father. Dead by his own hands, 6 little puncture marks in his chest. He had been a villain all his life. A murderer. A killer.

He saw Scott and Jean, laying bloody and torn apart in the foyer. Their faces pale.

He saw Storm strung up from the chandelier, her cape caught in the ornate bronze. Her hair knotted and twisted.

He saw Jubilee and Nightcrawler. His tail severed lying next to his body. He looked as if he had been shielding Jubilee. Small burn marks in the shape of sparkles littered his skin.

Beast had been in his lab, shards of glass sticking out from his body where the hunters had used his own lab against him.

And Xavier, a look a terror on his face as he sat limply in his chair. His body didn't match his face.

He remembered seeing red. Seeing it everywhere he looked. The blood of his family, strewn across the place he had reluctantly called home.

He saw red in his hands. As he tore any remaining hunters to shreds. Watching his claws take the lives of the humans who had mercilessly taken the life of his family.

And he continued to see red. For days as he chased down anyone who held fear or hate for mutants in their eyes. And he kept going. After a while he stopped looking for that glint in their eyes. Only wishing to see it fade as many times as possible. Because all humans were the same. They always were.

Wade lying next to him curled the sheets and the blanket, clutching at them desperately until his knuckles were white. He saw Francis. Watching him walk in and out of view, every time he walked into view a new method of torture would begin. And Wade could hear his own voice making quippy remarks. Remarks he remembered. But all he could feel was horrible, unbridled fear. All he could hear was the rapid beating of his own heart. The strained rasps that were supposedly his breathing.

All he could feel was the searing pain in every part of his body as it was placed under heavier loads of stress. He remembered how desperately he wanted his body to give up on him. He was dying anyways right? So it wouldn't matter.

But it didn't and for hours and hours it all became worse.

He remembers when it was over. When he was able to break out and free himself.

Only for the pain to return. He remembered the metal poll being shoved through his chest. And hearing it creek as Francis bent it over trapping him on it.

The taste of blood in his mouth as he spat up tattered pieces of his internal organs.

He remembered the hours he had taken to pry himself off the thing. Silently begging that he would just die in the process. But he didn't. And then he spent more hours in the rubble as the hole in his chest closed up. Only for the building to collapse on him and him to pass out. Or die. He didn't know which. Either way, it wasn't permanent enough.

Francis stupid face was all he could see. His voice all he could hear.

"What's my name?" He called, but Wade refused to give him that satisfaction. Refused to allow his face fucker to hear the way his voice might tremble if he said it.

And then in a flash, he was gone and instead he watched as the mercenary pulled the trigger. And Vanessa dropped to the floor.

Wade instinctively reached for Baby Knife who was under his pillow and thrust it into her killer.

Just a Logan protracted his claws and shoved them into the cold dead eyes of Stryker who had taunted him about the monster he had become.

But Wade wasn't killing the masked Merc and Logan wasn't face to face with Stryker.

Instead when they opened their eyes they saw each other.

Wade was hovering over Logan his blade in Logan's neck. Right between his shoulder and his nape. And Logan's claws were in Wade's chest. Blood oozing out of the puncture and dripping onto his bare chest.

The two of them scrambled away from each other freighted. Wade yelped as Logan pulled his claws out of him and he proceeded to fall of the bed. The fall adding to the throbbing, burning pain in his chest.

Logan desperately clutched at the knife in neck feeling blood pool in his mouth. He yanked it out and dropped into on the bed as he spluttered. Coughing blood all over the sheets.

Wade had tears streaming down his face and Logan's eyes were wide with horror.

Logan spat out the blood as his wound began to close and he scrambled out of bed over to Wade. Wade was sitting curled into his chest. The blood staining his t-shirt and pants as he held his knees as close to his chest as he could.

Logan wrapped his arms around Wade and sat with him on the floor. His whole body was shaking as his hair stood on end.

The two of them were breathing heavily. Wade's groaning was punctured with sobs as his organs and ribs repaired themselves.

When Logan's neck had healed enough to allow him to talk again he pulled away from Wade but didn't let go.

"Wade it's not your fault. And I- fuck. I didn't know it was you. I didn't see you"

Wade looked up at Logan from where he was crouching in front of him. His hands still gripping Wade's shoulders.

Logan half expected him to make a joke about penetration but all Wade could muster was a weak pathetic "He wouldn't stop"

Logan knew he was talking about Francis. He had told him all about what happened to him years ago.

Wade had probably just relived it all like he did countless times every night.

"M'sorry Lo"

"You're fine. Healed see?" He touched his neck to prove the wound had almost closed up.

Wade simply put his head into his knees and continued to cry.

It wasn't often Logan saw Wade like this, it had scared the shit out of him the first time it had happen. When one of these nightmares had consumed Wade in his sleep.

But I guess everything isn't like what you always see on screen, is it?

Logan sighed and picked him up, no strain at all, and sat down on the bed. His back rested against the headboard as Wade curled up on his lap. His legs less tightly pulled to his chest as he half laid on the bed and half laid on Logan

Logan ran his hand over Wade's head and back. Stroking him softly to try and ground and calm him. Not to let him slip away again into that horrible place.

It helped him not to slip away too

"I'm sorry Logan. I didn't mean it"

"I know you didn't, bub"

Wade couldn't stand the thought of hurting Logan. He never wanted to hurt the ones he loved. But he always managed to get them hurt. He got Vanessa killed, he watched as Colossus got beat to a pulp and Negasonic almost got crushed to death. He watched as the entire X-Force was slaughtered. And he remembered all the nights he had woken up like this. Having hurt Logan, again

Logan was frustrated. His actions were always violent. He always attacked first and asked questions later. He kept fucking hurting Wade. He was ashamed and frustrated and afraid. He was worried one to many nightmares would lead Wade to kicking him out. Sending him packing because Wade realised that Logan was too much of an unstable monster to be kept around.

"I'm sorry too"

"You don't need to say sorry. You just watched you whole family get killed"

Logan laughed humorlessly at the blunt but accurate statement. Wade also knew what went on in Logan's dreams. Wade knew how badly Logan had lost people.

The two of them stay curled up like that in silence for ages. The moon beginning to set over the horizon.

"You could never hurt me. Not where it matters. You know that right" Logan said it. It wasn't really a question. It was more of a reassurance, a statement that Wade couldn't do it. But he wanted to make sure Wade knew that as well

Wade hesitated but Logan felt him nod his head softly against Logan's chest.

"And I've had worse. You stabbed me in the balls remember?"

Logan grunted "Yeah. I remember"

The two of them didn't say anything else. Having said their apologies they couldn't think of more to bring up. They just needed to sleep.

And so Logan sunk down in the bed and Wade shuffled over. This time the two of them fell asleep. Wade's back pressed to Logan's chest and they slept until the mid afternoon.

Their presence was the only thing that brought the other peace.

I hope you enjoyed this! It was really have and maybe a little ooc on my part but I tried my best. I hope I did it justice.

[saltyfryz]

[dont-blame-it-on-the-kids]

When are we getting more amazing Lin tortured by Equalists fanfiction?

Lmao y’all ain’t sick of me yet???? 😅

You see my username and you’ve got a 99% chance of knowing what you’re about to see lmao 🤣

ALSO Welllllll I Might be working on a Big Torture Fic with @angrywarrior69 focusing on Lin and Tenzin starting in the cells with Amon and following the seasons with some lovely Whump 👀👀👀 ((most Major TW will apply be warned!))

We’re jumping around a bit but we’ve discovered ‘Pemeer’ and it’s my new favorite HC/Au. If you can guess what that means I’ll release the deets 😈

TW for under the Cut

Assault, nightmares, trauma, depictions of children in distress

Without further delay! The premier teaser of!

Through the Bending and Pain

(title subject to change)

// Hands found her in the dark, Lin cried out and struggled against them. Trying in vain to push them away from her body. Tenzin’s face before her angry silver eyes filled with tears.

“Why did you let him get her!” He was angry and shouting. Hurting her wrists as he pinned her down.

“I- I didn’t !” Lin begged.

“I’ll show you! I’ll show you exactly what he did to her!” Tenzin’s hands found her pants and suddenly she was naked under him, his movements hurting her, tearing her body apart once again. His face morphing into that damned ivory painted mask, the heat of heavy breaths met her lips through the slit for the mask's mouth.

Once he was done Lin gasped as she fell through the floor, falling and falling until she landed with a sickening crack on the metal haul of the airship. She trembled as she stood and looked back. She saw the sky bison growing further away, the air family in the saddle. Lin reached out to bend the metal but the element was cold and unmoving under her hands.

“No! No!” Wires wrapped around her and she woke again lying broken in a dark room. An infant cried from the corner and the lights turned on bright to reveal Amon standing before her holding Ikki by the scruff of her neck. “No! Let her go!”

“You made your choice Lin. It was you or her.” Amons voice echoed around the room Lin sobbed as she tried to stand only for Mako to hold her back, his hot hands burning against her skin. Lin struggled against him and sobbed.

“No! I’ll do it! I’ll do it please! I’ll do anything!” She screamed. //

Lin woke with a start sitting up in the small bed covered in sweat crying out in agony.

“Don’t hurt her!” She begged. Lin reached her hand out her gauntlet came to her forearm knife ready as she gasped and sobbed and searched the dark for any sign of Amon and Ikki. She fumbled as she opened the drawers and stalked around convinced he was here, that he had her.

——

😇

[triglycercule]

who made the mtt. and no i dont mean like who made the CONCEPT of the murder time trio (because i know who that is. touken kamui i thank you for the fangame every day :3) but like,,,, who decided to just randomly pair these 3 together?? like whaaaat.......

part of me wants to believe it was rahafwabas with the whole bad sanses group thingy being made with those 3 in there and then like. the fangame just gave them specifically a seperate group name. but STILL,,,,, where did this trio come from

[serizawashugenaturals]

[ID:

how is it 2023 and nobody’s come up with a satisfying explanation as to why cell phones never show up in our dreams if we’re using them for 12 hours a day?

@zephyr_on_call (Zephyr On Call) 5/14/23

End ID.]

everyone agreeing with this tweet is so lucky because cell phones have absolutely been in my dreams, specifically DREAMS ABOUT TUMBLR DISCOURSE. I literally had a dream my mutuals made a callout for me i'm not fucking joking helppp

[flowers-for-hobi]

I've had the worst nightmare i had in a while. Very long rant

Trigger warning emotional/physical abuse

In the dream I'm trying to convince my family to stop going down this path of delusion flat earth and other religious hotep stuff connected to us being black people and having Jewish ancestry (I'll save the stupid details)

(which is happening in real life and has been a slow progression into madness for years now) my sister just told me about the flat earth stuff that just got added into the mix recently which just sent me over the edge emotionally. And I guess I've been grappling with that not really knowing it. And also I started listening to a therapy podcast called second hand therapy which has been making me think. Which is a good thing in the grand scheme of things. But i also haven't seen my therapist in a couple months due to the debt I've been trying to pay off with her and just the nature of how my therapy relationship has evolved I don't need go see her every week. I've just been doing every couple months and doing ok with that.

The past couple months I've just been trying to cope and kinda push everything to the side with my work routine. But they podcast just opened a can of worms I wasn't trying to feel. Ouchy!!

In the dream I'm begging trying to tell my mom to stop this saying all the things that have been in my heart for years since a falling out happened 2/3 years ago. It's not working. after I while I remember crying in the dream walking away from my mother saying I'm so sorry I forgot you're like a dog loyal to my father and you would let him hurt me.

I go out from the room and my dad's asking what's going on. I tell him what I feel and start questioning his beliefs and proving his delusions wrong. Everytime he paused or has a shook on his facing trying to prove me wrong I yell *buzzer sound* wrong answer and explain why he's wrong. After the third time he charges at me cornering me trying to choke me (which he did to my sister during the Big falling out in real life)

I'm saying is it worth it hurting your family and please stop and then I Wake up.

It shook me so much I couldn't cry for a while. I ended up googling how to deal with nightmares. And kinda checking in with myself remembering what my therapist explained to me about anxiety and where I feel it in my body (which i usually feel it in my neck like choking)

For some reason while I was reading the article the quote from the article

"Our bodies are much more resilient than we think, so trust yourself that you’re going to be okay even if you didn’t sleep well last night"

After reading that I just start bawling. Just allowing myself to feel everything the fear the sadness.

My dreams/nightmares most of the time are very cathartic and try to tell me something. And I've had dreams/nightmares similar to this but it's been a long time i forgot how much they shake me. I think it"s reality setting in that I don't think me and my dad's relationship is salvageable cause he's not willing to listen to me or apologize to me (something he's been able to do with my sister) since the Big falling out) cause I know I won't ever bring it up. I'm tired of always being the one to try and fix it and have the big convos. So I'm leaving it up to him. And he keeps insisting my sister tell him how I feel about him and my sister like the freaking boss she is tells him that's between (me) and him. But i know he'll never ask me cause I already told him years ago how I feel. And I've been finally able to go over to their house and have moments of family again hug my dad and hang out again. But i also don't trust them anymore and I know it won't be the same. Cause without true communication there can't be any peace. And I won't be the one to reach out and have that conversation and i know my father won't so i just pretend like everything is ok just like he wants. But i know he feels the distance and it not being the same I lowkey enjoy knowing he's internally wiggling with that feeling. I'm just doing what we've always done in that house. Not talking about it just like he wants it.

[theenemyod]

book obsession is great when the characters are in my fucking dreams.

[carbonfiction]

Could you do some angst Logan x mutant!reader comfort. Like maybe she has a similar origin to Logan where she was tested on for her powers and escaped. She ends up at the mansion and that’s how her and Logan end up together.

I’ve been wanting to write this myself for a while but haven’t had time. I need to see some truama bonding and comfort for that man with someone who really understands what it’s like. I would give anything to be that person. 😭

Hi anon!! Im so sorry this has taken me so long to get to- despite some little changes on the request, and my unsureness on writing angst, i hope you enjoy this drabble!

One step at a time

Summary: sleep can be a fickle thing, a struggle more personal than most.. But it just so happens theres another person in the mansion that understands. Written with X1 logan in mind!

Warnings?: angst, mentions of nightmares and troubled sleep, self doubt, slight depression? Comfort and fluff at the end? Idk how to tag this really.. Words: 1.5k Masterlist

People were scared of things they didn’t understand, of people that didn’t fit in to a societal box. And being a mutant? Well, you became the scariest thing of all. An unknown, a secret unshared in a room full of people.

To some, that fear, that little nagging doubt about what you are, what you could do.. fuelled somthing else entirely. Not fear, not quite, more an evil kind of curiosity. A fixation to poke and prod, bend and snap, push the limits of their fear regardless of yours in the name of science. Regardless that you too, we’re a person, different now yes, but still born of the same matter once.

Careless to the person you were, only the thing you could become. And even then, if you weren’t useful.. you were useless. Another mistake in a pile of scraped idea's, a caged creature begging for a way out.

You never wanted it, never asked to sit in a room and wonder why. Why you, why this. There was never a good enough answer, never a reason, not really. Some People were just cruel, vile and nasty, out for their own gain.. to test the limits of humanity.

But then it begged the question, what was humanity? Because it wasn’t this. It wasn’t the sleepless nights afraid to close your eyes. The sanctity of sleep a luxury. Peace a rationed thing.

Therefore It had become normal to find you in the dead of night, curled up the couch in front of the fireplace; whilst everyone else slumbered. Sometimes a book in hand, other times just your thoughts. Embered flames burning bright and warm, the crackle of wood often the only sound. It was how your relationship with Logan had bloomed.

From wordless nods walking down corridors to conversations and nights shared infront of the fire; he had become pleasant company, a friend you regarded higher- one who understood better- than most. He'd seen the same horrors behind his eyes, the years a tiresome thing.

So it's here you sit, like always, in your spot on the couch peering between pages of a book and the old grandfather clock, waiting for Logan.

It was late and he'd usually show up around now, your meetings held in a trusted pact- an agreement that if sleep held pain, this is where you'd find one another. It was up to choice then, if you'd relocate to one of your room's; if you felt the embrace of the others arms would quiet the horror, just for a while.

Because while it's true that you both may no longer be broken here in the mansion.. you'd always be bruised bone deep.

"Hey" Logan murmers softly, breaking you from your thoughts as you crane your neck toward him. Hes stood tall in the doorway, clad in sweats and a white vest, two steaming mugs in hand as he pads closer, handing you one over the back of the couch. "Figured you'd want a drink, tried to make it how you like"

You nod, taking a tentative sip with a greatful smile. Your eyes fluttering shut a moment as you swallow, relishing the warmth. Logan had indeed made it the exact way he knew you loved, and it swells your heart; the fondness you feel for the action- for him. "'S perfect, thank you.."

"Was nothin.." he shrugs, sighing into his own cup, back hitting the couch besides you. the cushions are a soft embrace for his aching body, the days seeming longer. He'd confessed one night, that the winter had never helped his affliction. That the cold air made his adamantium bones ache in a way that seemed impossible to describe. The sting of his knuckles that bit sharper with each snikt of his claws.

You shift quietly, book page marked and now placed on the coffee table. Logan watches silently as you reach for the soft blanket that lays dormant on the back. Your fingers adjusting the fabric carefully, unfolding and draping it until it rests over his knees too.

Logan smiles, a look reserved for these nights- for you- in his eyes. Its a soft, greatful, little thing; Unreminicent of his usual gruff demeanor. he lifts a large arm bringing it to rest snug behind your shoulders, tugging you closer.

Theres a comfortable silence that follows then, sat side by side. Logan simply watches as you pick the book back up, resuming your page. A warm feeling in his chest that he hasn't felt for a while as your eyes flit across the words.

He still cant understand how anyone could- would- hurt you. Would even dare harm a delicate hair on your head. It boils a possessive type of anger inside of him, that people, the very same that had hurt him, had dared. That they had ruined your trust, made you into something of their design, just like him.

And Its then that Logan cant help how his mouth moves, how it burts the words before he can even think to stop them, make them sound less jumbled. "You uh.. didn't deserve it you know?.. What they did"

The words feel foreign on his tongue but they hold meaning- one that you can feel as you cast your gaze to him.

Theres a look in your eyes he cant quite read as you hum honestly. "Neither did you. you know that right?"

And Logan knows. Hell its deep down but he knows. Yet hearing the words still bring an ache to his chest. Its beyond hard for him to even think about- admit really- even after all this time. He hadn't deserved it and neither had you. But that was certain weather perceived or not.

"Im.. Tired, logan" you trail quietly, casting your book aside as your head falls to rest on his shoulder. "Just.. So tired of being tired."

A shattering feeling stabs at Logan's chest from your admission, a sigh falling against your hair. "I know you are. Hell so am i but.." he pauses, trying to find the correct sentiment.

"We- you- can do this"

You can't help the exhaled sound that slips from you, not a laugh, not not a breath either. "Logan-" you try to protest, try to shift back inside your non vulnerable shell ready to shut down, but he has you locked next to him, fingers coming to rest on your jaw.

"No, look at me, Cmon" he murmurs, cupping and turning your cheek gently until your gaze meet his. "like you told me that once. Its one step at a time alright?"

You recall saying it, remember the context, and yet the idea of saying it to yourself feels foreign- as foreign as the words blurted from logans tongue.

He'd had a nightmare that night, had woken with a hoarse scream and his claws embedded in the plush mattress; pillows ruined with feathers everywhere, soaked in sweat. You'd come barreling in from downstairs having heard his sounds of distress, knowing the situation.

But.. You hadn't laughed, despite him being so surrounded by pillow feathers that he's sure he looked like big bird. You hadn't been cruel or judgemental, pitty in your eyes. You'd just been.. Well, you. Kind and understanding, reassuring him that it was okay, that he was safe. To take a shower and you'd sort the rest. It was from then that the fondness he felt for you had bloomed to something a little more inside of him.

You nod gently, a small, barely there smile on your lips now as you repeat. The light of the fire a soft glow in your eyes, tone a fraction more hopeful. "One step at a time"

"Yeah, thats it sweetheart" he smiles gently, a proud look in his own eye's, before his throat clears. A bashful look taking over his features as he continues, thumb absentmindedly stroking over your cheekbone. A distraction to the honesty he was going to drop "Besides.. you got this knucklehead who'd really like to keep this.. Us.. up"

You swallow, breath stuttering as your cheeks heat."You.. You would?" you sound a little surprised, yet a little hopeful, and It makes Logan smile, hearing your heart pounding in your chest.

"Yeah sweetheart" he breathes, voice a low gravel as he anxiously nods, before rushing to add. "if- if thats something you'd want?"

"Yes!" you exclaim, so excitedly it makes logan chuckle, the deep rumble joining the crackling fire. "I, uh, i mean.. ofcourse i do Logan"

Logans fingers tilt your face higher, his forehead coming to rest on yours as your fingers trace over his scruff coated jaw. "Things are better with you.." you murmer, breath puffing over his lips. "Lighter. You get it, get me.. This.."

He hardly lets you finish before his lips are pressed to yours, breaking the miniscule gap between them. His kiss so uncharacteristically gentle, like he was afraid one taste and you'd break.

"Things are better with you too.." he says quietly, forehead on yours, a smile against your mouth as his nose rubs your cheek.

And so Its that night you both agree, while wrapped up in one another, that things are better together. Better with each others shoulder to lean on. And despite the darkness that would still linger sometimes, that's all that mattered. You and him. Him and you.

[justa-smalltown-gargoyle]

MY CHILDHOOD

I literally had Dinosaurs by Design. I recognized that drawing INSTANTLY

which…now thinking back it’s been so long since my Deep Dive Dino Phase (still love dinos, I forget a lot of details) I really need to learn some accurate Dino shit cuz damn

I just realized that homeschooled evangelical christian kids aren't allowed to have a dinosaur phase and made myself sad

[tokeposts]

⁀➷ FALLEN | BAKUGOU

pairing. Bakugou Katsuki x GN!Reader

warnings. character death, violence, blood, greif, survivor's guilt, truama, hurt/no comfort

genre. angst, soulmates au, canon compliant

notes. ouchie this one kinda hurt 👎🏽

1K | Amid the chaos of war, your unspoken bond with Dynamight has always been enough— until the moment you see him fall.

next | masterlist | back

The battlefield stretches all around you while smoke twists in the air, thick and suffocating, coiling itself around your throat like a noose. The stench of burning flesh and debris settles into your skin, an imprint of death you’ll never trully be able wash away. Your body is screaming, muscles torn and bones grinding against each other with every move, but it’s nothing compared to the pain that’s carving its way into your chest.

The heroes, your friends (what’s left of them at least) are scattered across the ground battered and bruised too. If you listened closely you could hear the ragged breaths of those still clinging to life, their bodies curled up like paper crumpled under a careless hand. You are not any different— torn open, limbs heavy, every breath a jagged knife in your lungs, but none of that matters.

Not when you can’t tear your eyes away from him.

Bakugou stands amidst the chaos, a force of nature even now, even as the world collapses around him. His explosions light up the gray sky, a desperate blaze of light against the dreary rain. You've always admired that about him— the way he moves, as if he’s made of steel and pure determination, every blast a declaration of his existence.

But something’s wrong. Something horrible, gnawing at the edges of your mind.

He's still fighting, still charging forward like he can tear the war apart with his bare hands. But his moves—they're frantic, faster, too fast. He's pushing himself too hard, beyond his limits, like he's racing against the clock, against the inevitable. His explosions are growing stronger, more desperate— sparklingly devastating— but it comes with a cost, one you can feel in the hollows of your bones.

You scream his name, but your voice is swallowed by the storm of battle. It rips from your throat, raw and shredded, but he does not turn around.

He does not stop.

Despite the gaping wound in your side, the blood seeping through your clothes, painting the ground in your wake. Despite the universe screaming at you to rest, to lie down, to simply pause.

You can't. You won’t. You’re running— legs moving dragging in the dirt faster than your mind can keep up with. It’s like being caught in a dream where time moves too slowly. You can’t reach him, and every step makes you feel that much further away.

You’ve been tethered to him for as long as you can remember— an invisible red string stretching between you both, tangled in childish arguments when you were five, in unsaid words when you were 13, in the fire that intertwines your souls.

Soulmates.

You both knew it long before the words could be spoken, though you never dared to voice it. Maybe from fear? Pride? Who knows. But you’ve felt it deep in your core since the day you met, a pull so strong it made the world tilt around him.

And now, with each step you take, that string feels like it’s fraying.

Shigaraki's monstrous form surges from the smoke like a nightmare come to life, his limbs distorted and twisted, swinging toward Bakugou like a scythe cementing his fate. Time stretches thin, your breath freezing in your throat.

Your scream rips through the silence in your head, but it’s too late. You watch it happen— frame by frame, the universe mocking you with its cruelty. Shigaraki’s blow lands— dead center— and Bakugou’s body flies, the sound of impact thunders, tearing the sky apart.

Everything stops. He lands in the dirt, his eyes wide, the fierce determination flickering out like a candle’s flame.

The world crumbles around you, but it doesn't matter anymore. The war, the heroes, the villains— they all disappear, fading into white noise as you collapse beside him. You are too late, a mantra that replays in your head over and over and over. You hit your knees, pain shooting through your bones, but you don’t care. You’re shaking, hands trembling as they reach for his face, his chest— anything solid, anything real to anchor yourself to this moment, to make this stop.

"Katsuki," you whisper, your voice thorns against your throat.

He doesn’t move. His body lies still, too still, and there’s blood— so much fucking blood— pouring from his wounds, painting the ground in crimson. Your hands press against his chest, trying to hold it back like you can turn back time with your will alone, but he's slipping through your fingers like sand, like the life draining out of him.

“Katsuki, please,” you sob, weary and desperate.

His eyelids flutter, just for a moment, his crimson gaze locking with yours. And in that fleeting second, he’s still there. Your Bakugou, the one who burned too brightly, the one who never stopped fighting, never stopped living like he was invincible. His lips part, like he wants to say something, but no sound comes out. His hand twitches, just barely, and you grab it, holding on like it’s the only thing keeping you tethered to this world.

There was supposed to be more time. More moments. More chances to say the things you were both too scared to admit. To yell, to scream, to love him, to tell him you were soulmates in every damn sense of the word.

His eyes shake, and his grip weakens.

"Fuck, Katsuki, no," you plead with him, leaning down until your forehead presses against his, your breath ragged and hot against his cooling skin. "Don’t you fucking dare."

The words fall into the void, swallowed by the silence of the dying. There’s no answer, no spark left in him.

The weight of it crashes down, crushing your chest, your heart shattering into barbed pieces you’ll never be able to put back together.

He’s gone.

Your everything— ripped from you, stolen by this war.

And the world, the entire universe, your red string feels like it’s collapsing around you. The battle still rages on, distant explosions and screams filling the air, but it all feels so far away. All you can do is hold him, cradling his broken body in your arms, feeling the warmth slip away with every passing second. Everything has stopped, everything is ending, and all you’re left with is the hollow, unbearable ache in your chest where he used to be.

Just like that, the war takes more than it ever should have.

It takes him.

taglist: @beckixwsm @jkovlr

apply to be on the taglist here!

[baguette8765]

ATTENTION HUSKERDUST/ANGELHUSK SHIPPERS! Do I have your attention? Awesome.

Okay, hear me out:

We all understand Angel is going through a lot with his horrible boss, truama, constantly being exploited and such, and the comfort and reassurance and safety and love Husk gives him in the fanart and fics is great, I love that for him, don't get me wrong,..

BUT!

What about Husk's suffering? He's an ex overlord, hates his demon form, owned by Alastor, probably a war vet, and is pretty mentally fucked up too. So I ask:Where is Husk's suffering? When is it his turn to be the walking tragedy, the one needing saving, comfort, protection, and reassurance? When does he get to be huddled in a corner, all vulnerable? I'm not saying I WANT him to constantly go through pain, but maybe a moment where Angel and Husk fall asleep together and Husk has a nightmare? Angel comforting Husk after Alastor gets mad at him? Angel helping Husk with PTSD/shellshock? Angel helping Husk take care of himself? Angel taking care of Husk? THE OLD MAN NEEDS SOME LOVE TOO! All I ask is thay we let Husk be broken too. Pretty please?

EDIT:Turns out he's not a war vet. Removed that part. Whoopsies.

EDIT 2:I'm pretty sure he's a war vet, with how he stands straight when Vaggie uses a military voice in ep 5 and spills coffee on himself, so I'm adding that part back :P

[ponyosmom35]

nightmares

Simon Ghost Riley x reader

Synopsis: reader and Simon are in a relationship, and he has a nightmare. He accidentally hurts her. Read part one if you haven't yet for more context!

warnings: choking, angst, self hatred

part one: fight

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/733404809671098368/fight?source=share

there will be a third part soon!

"stop!"

Her dreamless sleep is interrupted by the sound of Simons voice. She open her eyes, squinting as they adjust to the darkness. His back was facing her and his body was rigid as sweat clung to his skin. Instantly she recogizes one of his horrible nightmares that plagued him occasionally. It was tough to snap him out of it. 

“No no no stop” he mumers 

She reaches out, placing a hand on his back, rubbing it gently. Despite the anger and sadness she still felt from their horrible fight, she knew she needed to be there for him. Trying to slowly wake him up from whatever horrors he was experiencing. He continues to mumble in his sleep and she allows tiredly reaches her arm across his body, clinging onto him. 

Simon snaps his eyes open, his body in a fight or flight state. He feels an arm around him and instantly grips it and twists it to the side. He flips over pinning the person, his forearm shoved into their neck as his thighs trap theirs to protect himself. 

She screams in pain and shock as in a flash she’s laying on her back, staring up at Simon’s blank cold gaze. He was looking right through her. His grip on her neck tightens and she cries out “si” 

“Its me baby” she nearly whispers 

His eyes glaze over as he realizes what he’d done. He launches himself off of her, falling onto the floor in shock. His eyes were wide as his body shook. She sits up, holding her throbbing wrist against her chest as tears stream down her cheeks. 

“Fuck” he breathes out in horror 

“I’m okay Si” she reassures, wiping her tears as she stares at him. 

“Fuck I- I” his breath falls short again as his gaze finds the marks on her neck beginning to form. “I’m gonna be sick” he says running ot the bathroom. 

She quickly gets up and follows him, but he’s too fast and shuts the door behind himself, locking her out. She hears the sound of him throwing up and cringes. She waits for several minutes, and fixes herself up. She ignores the pain in her wrist. She fixes her hair and puts a new shirt on as her thin tank top had been ripped in the struggle. She was attempting to calm herself as she waited. She needed him to know that it wasn’t his fault, that she was okay. She knew that he was beating himself up right now, and wished to show him that he hadn't hurt her. 

After several minutes Simon unlocks the door, facing her instantly. Tears instantly fill her eyes as she sees the sweat and tears tracks on his face. His eyes were red and puffy. She moves closer to him, wanting nothing more than to be wrapped into his arms. He moves back, dodging her body. She stares at him, hurt that he would avoid her touch. 

“Si it wasn’t your fault” she says gently. She earns no response from him. “You didn’t hurt me. Just come back to bed please” she says reaching to grab his hand.

“No” he says roughly 

“Si-”

“I can’t be here right now, I need to go” he responds

“No you can’t leave right now!” she says, her voice shaking. She follows him as he puts on a coat and shoes. “Simon please don’t leave me right now” she begs. Silence. 

He walks to the door and she grips his hand, pulling him back, he stares down at her. The pain was so evident on his face. “Do not walk out that door, I need you here with me” she says softly 

Simon clenches his jaw and pulls away from her, before rushing out of the door. She collapses to the ground as sobs wrack through her body uncontrollably. She wished nothing more than to go back to bed and act as though nothing happened. But she knew he could never do that. 

Simon struggled with his mental health, the horror and truama he experinced haunted him. He fought everyday for himself and their relationship. Emotions were incredibly tough for him, but he wanted to work through it for her, so he could be what she needed. Yet no matter how much progress he’d made, he always fucked it up. 

He walks through the empty streets, making his way to the beach. He sits on the shore and stares down at his hands. He could’ve killed her. One move and her neck would be broken. He was supposed to protect her, he promise he always would, but today the only threat in her life was him. He loved her so much, she was his home. She was the reason he was still breathing to this day. She saved simon from himself, just as he’d saved her back in Germany. Knowing that he’d hurt her made him sick. He was disgusted with himself and his actions. He wondered how she would ever forgive him, how could she trust him? 

-

She had been crying all night, she stayed up waiting for him to come back. Promising herself that if he hadn’t shown up by 8 am she would go out and look for him. If he wasn’t back by noon she would call the police. 

At ten till she puts on a pair of leggings and a hoodie, brushing her teeth as she prepped to leave. She goes to put on her shoes when the door opens quietly. She whips around staring at him as he enters their home. He instantly spots her and his body deflates. 

“Where were you?” she asks angrily 

“The beach” 

“Do you have any idea how fucking scared I was?” she yells arms crossed as she stares at him. He moves past her sitting on the edge of the couch running his hand through his tousled blonde hair. She sighs, seeing how much he was struggling. He refuses to meet her gaze as she moves closer to him, She places a hand on his thigh, stepping between his legs. 

“You can’t blame yourself, this was an accident. You were asleep, I shouldn’t have woken you up” she says softly 

“I could’ve killed you” he responds staring her dead in the eyes. “Do you have any idea how easy it would’ve been for me to break your neck? How can I trust myself around you? How can you trust me after I hurt you?” 

“There is no one in this world that I trust more than you” she responds “this doesn't change anything. I love you more than you could ever even imagine, you are such a dream to me Simon. Something happened, and now we work through it together, I won’t let you shut me out Si. There is nothing in this world that could change the way I love you, so please don’t give up on me, on us” 

Simon drops his head as tears fall down his cheeks once more. He grips onto her smaller body and pulls her into him. Holding her tightly against his built chest. Her arms go around his neck, finding comfort in his scent. “I love you so much, I can never express to you how sorry I am” 

“Don’t be sorry Si, just hold me”

ghost master list:

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/733401347573088256/simon-ghost-riley?source=share

a/n:

hey y'all, this is my first Simon Riley fic! It's a small chapter from a book I'm working on. Let me know if you want more!!

[shrowded-eng1ma]

What happens after your death?

Fandom; SAGAU

Plot; People believe you to be a imposter and kill you, this explains what happens after you die.

CW:Death, Impostor Au, Nightmares, Isolation, Trauma.

——

After your public execution Teyvat celebrates your death and create a holiday to celebrate the death of the imposter.

A few days go by with nothing strange happening, until it does.

Everytime when people sleep, they hear the quite tears from you, and feel your sadness and pain.

Archons who don’t need sleep, are now fainting at midnight and reliving their trauma again, and again, and again. Only that it gets worse.

Hillichruls and The Abyss Order seem to attack and kill any human in sight, as they wail out in anger and sadness.

Teyvat itself begins to rip itself apart, disgusted at the actions committed by your worshipers. Not wishing to house ‘Monsters’ who killed the being whom created them and just wished to walk among them and be loved.

Everyone is confused and scared, when humans sleep, they hear your cry’s, beings that don’t usually need to sleep are now forced to sleep and relive their trauma but it gets worse everytime. When it’s daytime they need to protect themselves from never ending attacks from Nature and Hilichruls/Abyss Order. Along with that they FEEL your eternal sadness and bear your eternal wrath.

Even those who believed you ARE the creator can’t escape your blind wrath and sadness, but they don’t blame you, the people have brought this upon themselves.

They all then learn that you truly WERE the creator. Fearful, Desperate, and Saddened by their actions and the discovered truth, they pray to your statue harder, begging for forgiveness. But the statues are destroyed, either by Lighting, Earthquakes, Meteors, Falling Buildings, or any other natural disasters.

They lost hope, you cant EVER forgive them, once all the statues are destroyed they hear your voice “I just wanted to be among you. Why… why did you hate me!!!? I LOVED YOU ALL, FOR ALL YOUR TROUBLES, FOR ALL YOUR TRUMA I LOVED YOU!!!! and you repay me… by KILLING ME!!!!!”

The ones who believed you and helped you got a different message “You… you were one of the few who helped me.. thank you, but I still died. I will reward you with a painless death”

They all then fall to the ground, Teyvat roars by releasing a massive earthquake, The Hilichruls roar like a tiger and begin mutilating humans, The Abyss Order are angered and begin to destroy the world.

And your followers? Their distraught, they don’t even fight back at whatever happens. They now forever FEEL your sadness, pain, isolation, after feeling the joy and excitement you felt when you descended, they now just cry forever, they can’t do anything but accept it.

They chant apologies to you, but it falls on deaf ears, they slam their hands together and make a fist, pleading to you as blood drips from their hands and it turns pale, but YOU refuse to accept these.

No one is spared, in your blind anger everyone is to blame, Men, Women, Children. They ALL won’t die, oh no, they’ll LIVE forever and they will only feel YOUR pain YOUR sadness and relive any Truama they may have, or any insecurities they have will be exploited.

This is not the wrath of the creator. This is simply the creators, Sadness and Pain, that was brought upon him by the followers who devoted their entire existence to him, THIS IS THEIR DESTINY.

——

No I’m not back yet, I’m still somewhere with weak internet so don’t except another post anytime soon