#troll jesus

[xeshtrangh]

Day 16. Oral

Jesus if he ate 🙏 (sorry)

[axolinaaxolotl]

doodles in school :p

[zivazivc]

started going wall climbing with my brother recently and it's so much fun! i used to do it as a kid but stopped because i was super short, dunno why i never picked it up again...

anyway i kind of imagine these two would do that too, like a fun date, especially in a human au scenario, although i drew them as trolls because i've realized i haven't drawn them much at all

[tinkerbullisreal]

[velichorus-k]

Click for better quality <3

Based on The Light of the World by William Holman Hunt; Absolutely adore all the designs of the brotherhood AU by @0ketlyn-s @tea0w0stache and @elijah-doodle :)

[clock0fmeantime]

burps

[karkkle]

THE LAST BRUPPER THE PASSION OF FLRIST

anyone wanna analyze this and tell me what it means

[bazookaboi]

Yo I just found a load of old random art I forgot about and never posted, so uh, here-

First off, pissed Sonic. Probably to show my brother or something, idk.

Next, some Invader Zim stuff because JHONEN VAZQUEZ SUPREMACY and I developed a slight obsession with his creations… various times.

And then some Camp Camp my beloved. Early sketches of Max my beloved.

Wow, I really do like drawing characters crying, don’t I?

Aaaand even a little thing I drew of Trollhunters Troll Jim because I can’t take my eyes off of that goddamn glorious LITERAL MANE that they gave him. CRYING TOO, OF COURSE!!! Bro got angst potential through the roof. Seriously.

And finally, did I mention that I have a RotTMNT OC? (The art’s really old though, as in… a year or so old, I think?)

Keo is a brown (or) striped basilisk mutant. He likes blowing shit up.

ME CAGO EN LA HOSTIA WHY CAN’T I STAY IN THE SAME FANDOM FOR MORE THAN 3.5 GODDAMN SECONDS

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

I've been reading some of your homestuck essays, I think they're really good! I would like to know what you think about post-retcon homestuck and the interactions between reader and author throughout homestucks publishing. I was not in the fandom at the time of it being published, but I find this to be a very interesting aspect of the comic!

I was only on the fringes of the fandom at the time, but even that was enough to recognize that the fandom was absolutely awful. Every bad story you've heard about the Steven Universe, Voltron, and Undertale fandoms has its roots in the Homestuck fandom.

Pretty much as soon as the webcomic got popular on Tumblr, Hussie was put under intense scrutiny for basically every decision they ever made ever. I'm not going to say that Hussie was a perfect individual who never did anything wrong, because Hussie is a human being and that's how it works, but it's basically impossible to overstate how much the fandom tried to make an enemy out of Hussie.

The fandom was convinced that Hussie was their personal LE, and that attitude continues to this day - like, for an easy example of the fandom harassing Hussie for Literally Anything, when he stated that all trolls were bi/pan, to the point where they didn't have specific words for single-gender attraction, comparing it to a "more exacting preference" like somebody who only dates fat people - but that even within that framework, Kanaya was undoubtedly a lesbian character - people insisted Hussie was being homophobic. Fucking homophobic! For confirming all trolls are bi/pan, except Kanaya, who's a lesbian!

Other examples include: calling Hussie homophobic for John saying he wasn't a homosexual and Karkat literally not knowing what a homosexual was, because again, all trolls are bi/pan. Calling Hussie racist for making the kids aracial but accidentally leaving references to Dave having pale/pink skin in (because Hussie is a biased human person who can't be perfect and who did try to be more inclusive as the comic went on). Deciding that the dancestors served no purpose except for Hussie to be mean to their audience. Like there are valid criticisms to be made of Homestuck, but anything that was valid, nuanced, or thoughtful was drowned under a deluge of incoherent accusations of every -ism and -phobia that the fandom could possibly muster, the fandom as a whole racing to see who could paint Hussie as the biggest monster, even as they were harassing them to make more Homestuck.

Not to mention this was the era of rampant, unchecked ship wars and fandom misogyny. Not that fandom misogyny has gone away, mind you, but it's slightly more in check now. This was the era of fandom where it was normal to be sent death threats for shipping the "wrong" ship, and fandom ship wars were often encouraged by media of the time (love triangles were HOT - think zutara vs. kataang, team jacob/team edward, danny fenton/sam manson vs. danny fenton/valerie grey) because it drove up engagement. Homestuck was not really interested in shipping wars and love triangles - while many characters had circuitous routes and false starts, many were also pretty clearly set up to have specific endgame ships. But the fandom wasn't trained to behave that way, and the troll quadrants + canonical bi/pan trolls + active role of romance in the story meant that the ship wars were brutal - and also, Hussie was getting harassed every step of the way for not making peoples' favorite ships canon, a major part of a larger trend of people constantly ragging on Hussie for things not going the way they wanted plot-wise, to the point where Hussie had to comment on it constantly on his Formspring.

And don't think I forgot about the fandom misogyny! Here's a hot take for the class: Vriska is literally just Girl Zuko. She's ostensibly a noble from an imperialistic, warmongering, fascist society with an abusive parent who raised her with strict expectations, who thinks she has to act much more evil and more tough than she feels in order to earn the approval of her parent/society, and who secretly has misgivings and feels really bad about it and was set up for a redemption arc.

And people HATED Vriska. Vriscourse was so bad that many Homestuck fan spaces banned talking about Vriska at ALL, because just the mere mention of her name would spark massive, endless flame wars as people argued whether or not she deserved her little redemption arc (spoilers: yes, it turns out death is cheap in Homestuck and characters changing, growing, and becoming better is a huge part of the story) or whether or not she was justified in doing the things she did. Genuinely, I think a huge part of this intense hatred and anger was just misogyny. God forbid women have Zuko's character arc.

It was also part of two other large trends in the fandom - the first was that, despite finding every possible reason to call Hussie -ist and -phobic they could, the fandom itself was, ummm... "of its time." For example, the original March Eridan stuff was pretty clearly meant to be funny because, look, man in a dress! Isn't it sooo funny when Eridan wears a dress? (No hate to the artist, this was a long time ago and I'm sure they're a different person now.) The fandom was also constantly goading Hussie on WRT which characters were fat, and while we can argue about whether Hussie is fatphobic because none of the characters are canonically drawn to be fat, I'm going to go to bat for them on this: people treat the Fat Vriska jokes as though Hussie is the creepy weirdo exclusively, but the fandom was goading them on and thought that shit was hilarious, because that was what early internet fandom was like a lot of the time - at the same time as it harassed and decried creators for being problematic, it would turn around and delight in shitting on women, neurodivergent people, POC, and fat people, and Homestuck was rampant with it.

The second trend the Vriscourse was a part of was one that also hasn't fully gone away, but it's better now - wilful ignorance of the actual comic's contents. I'm not talking about the usual fandom fare of noncanon ships or "x character is trans/autistic/etc. even though I know there's no canon basis," which is all pretty damn harmless, but I mean like, memes and fanon would override canon and you would be outright harassed for not playing along. There are STILL places to this day that will call you an actual fascist, genocide liker, evil and irredeemable, etc. if you try to stick up for Eridan, even though Eridan is actually the LEAST casteist highblood and his entire character arc is about how his shitty fascist society makes him deeply anxious and unhappy. Similarly, you can/definitely would be be harassed for saying you don't like March Eridan and/or think it's OOC (it is), and I have nothing but sympathy for Gamzee and Equius fans, who also get it really bad.

The most vocal parts of the fandom, if not the majority, were people who were generally uninterested in engaging with Homestuck on Homestuck's terms, instead dead set on making up a version of it in their head and harassing people who disagreed, including Hussie. Echoes of that persist to this day - Equius, Gamzee, and Eridan get it bad, but practically none of the trolls have fandom interpretations that actually line up with who they are - Kanaya is actually just Eridan's bully (and did nothing to help Tavros after she caught Vriska kissing him), but people portray her as Nice Team Mom. Feferi is a casteist hypocrite who loves classism and calling people the r-slur, but people portray her as bubbly equality lady. So on and so forth. Like, damn, I barely participate in fandom and I'm out here meeting people who think Karkat ACTUALLY hates his friends like he says he does.

And then, of course, these people went and harassed Hussie because actual Homestuck did not match up with the Homestuck that existed only in their own heads.

On top of all the fandom harassment, Hussie was also facing ballooning scope. Most of Homestuck was a single dude drawing, writing, and animating it, and they would update every two or three days, sometimes less. So from the get-go, Homestuck was an INSANE project that demanded an insane amount of work and time from Hussie, and as it went on, it only got worse - and fandom expectations only got bigger. Suddenly, Hussie had to be in charge of merchandise, in charge of vetting, hiring, directing, and paying third-party artists, planning animations months if not years in advance, creating entire sections of the comic that had GAMEPLAY, directing ACTUAL GAMES, etc. ... there's an argument to be made that Hussie should not have taken on a workload they couldn't manage, but at the same time, the fandom certainly wasn't telling them to slow down. If anything, they harassed Hussie for every update, and were furious when hiatuses needed to happen to plan and execute some of the bigger moments later in the comic.

There's a Sarah Z video out there on the creation of the Homestuck game, which I think is OK if you take into account that Sarah kind of has fandom brain and is a little biased against Hussie (and I guess Hussie did send a spurious legal threat which is pretty funny but, y'know, understandable that Sarah would be peeved), where it's really clear that Hussie was not ready for the kind of responsibility, time, and effort needed to manage a whole-ass video game.

So by the time Game Over and the Retcon roll around, you basically have to imagine that Hussie has so many irons in the fire that the furnace is about to pop like a balloon, and the people they were making the damn things for in the first place have been relentlessly harassing them for YEARS, and weren't even that interested in engaging with the actual story in the first place. I'd say the majority of the fandom to this day STILL does not understand Eridan - how do you think they would've taken his redemption arc, and especially the fact that he was set up to date Karkat and Roxy? Given the pattern of their behavior up to that point... they'd probably harass Hussie and call them homophobic.

This is why I genuinely cannot blame Hussie for turning on the fandom and truncating their story. Vriska got upgraded to main character and had her character development reset because fuck you, fandom, you couldn't understand her redemption arc in the first place so now you don't get one. DaveKat got (kind of) made canon but as a weird throuple with the Mayor because fuck you, fandom, you didn't appreciate any of the actual gay ships that were set up so now you're stuck with brutally OOC DaveKatMayor. Karkat and Jake have their plot threads left hanging because fuck you, fandom, you never even noticed all the prophecies and symbolism and character arcs because you were all too obsessed with screaming at women and took the dancestors as a personal insult, so now the guy who's supposed to defeat LE and the guy who's supposed to bring equality and forgiveness to all bloodlines don't even get to participate in any of the important boss battles.

People call Hussie a troll, and they really aren't. If you read their old Formspring, they're clearly deeply fucking passionate about the art of storytelling, and switch between bafflement, mild indignation, and playing along when people ask them stupid questions. But back then, they were always very serious and genuine when they answered questions asked in good faith, and I'm being 100% genuine when I say that I've learned about how to tell stories better by reading Hussie's Formspring. Over time, however, those stupid questions became more common, and often morphed into outright harassment, and in response to that, Hussie's answers became more humorous and facetious, and the fandom - who was already trying to find ANY reason to hate Hussie - started to paint Hussie as an unreliable trickster and liar who got their jollies by shitting on the fandom.

Honestly, in doing so, the fandom was what turned Hussie into exactly that. Again, I'm not saying Hussie was a perfect baby who did nothing wrong - there's a lot of stuff to critique and scrutinize about their writing, their biases, and what topics they found appropriate to joke about. However, I AM saying that they were also just a human fucking being who was trying to write a good story, who was harassed at every turn, mostly for things that actually weren't problematic at all, whose words and actions were always taken in the absolute worst possible faith, and that the fandom is not fucking faultless, and if there's anyone that I'm mad at for how bad Homestuck ended, it's the fans.

That's my hottest Homestuck take.

[cringefail-clown]

ive finished reading hivebent

[peachdues]

If you don't want to be asked constantly, maybe you should stop posting ads about publishing on weekends. Unfortunately, your followers only care about the updates, not your life. They suck

I published one (1) post about trying to get an update in which I usually don’t do — in fact, I’ve been very clear about not putting deadlines on myself in the event I can’t meet them.

My followers aren’t shallow like you, fuckwad.

Also lmaoooo for thinking you speak on behalf of all of my followers. That’s cute of you.

[dino--draws]

TL-5956 Survival Headcanons

Involving: Some bending of the rules to make it more likely for these guys to have survived for 12+ years and counting, the likelihood I misread at least one part of how this all works so please don’t kill me, various overthinking shenanigans, me being a lil mean to characters, and my unabashed mental illness

and a sizable amount of text under the read more (not even kidding it’s like 1,500+ words LMAO)

THE PARADOX

Exclusively red monochromacy. This is not a visual filter sort of effect, everything has turned red. This actually isn’t a head canon it’s something Harry told me and it fucks me up. Actually a lot of this specific section is shit from the article itself that I’m emphasizing for fun.

The sky has become pitch black, and the horizon is rimmed by red like a macabre sunset. There is no difference between night and day. The sun will never rise here again.

Site-43 remains the single most stable area in the wake of the K-Class Paradox, and is considered the last bastion of human civilization. The rest of the world is left a nonsensical, contradictory wasteland due to spatial and temporal damages. Any entity you find roaming those reddened wastes are no longer what they once were. Do not engage, for those who wander are lost.

Randomized increases and decreases in the number of perceivable temporal dimensions results in visual distortion of surroundings. Added extrasensory perceptions may increase this disorientation in survivors. It takes a lot of getting used to, that constant bombardment.

Due to condensation of vaporous substances, there has been a sharp global temperature increase. Everything is humid.

Site-43 Condition

The following parts of the Site are lost/heavily damaged: 

Euclid and Keter Class Wings of the Security and Containment Sections [Detonated, First Sublevel is functionally abandoned due to instability]

Applied Occultism [Second Sublevel, damaged by detonation and other breach occurances]

Archives and Revisions Section [Burned]

All underwater site facilities and utilities. [Completely destroyed] 

With each instance of the breach, all areas that were previously destroyed become reverted to their 2002 states, then re-destroyed. This results in these locations being able to be scrapped and harvested for functionally renewable supplies after each amelioration of the breach. These salvaged supplies only vanish with the causal loop’s reset if they are left within their original area. 

Due to the heavy damage done to the First Sublevel of the site, the Second Sublevel is left similarly unstable structurally and partially collapsed. Both Sublevels are abandoned sans annual gathering of supplies. 

The Third Sublevel of the Site remains the most structurally stable and safest part of Site-43, the surviving personnel remain here. 

The Inner-Sectional Subway System is no longer in operation due to sustained damages during the breach, but its tunnels are still utilized for transportation to different areas of the Site by foot. 

Site’s power remains in operation, requires vigorous upkeep.

Food/Water

Meal, Ready-to-Eat (MRE) rations were the primary food source for several years as research was directed towards the creation of a renewable food supply. They have a metric fuck ton of rations to work with, but it's always smart to look for alternatives Just In Case, y'know?

Due to the fact that everything is red, and there is a notable lack of a sun, growing traditional plants is out of the equation because I don’t think we’re photosynthesizing in these conditions. However, what they can grow and cultivate is things such as mushrooms and algaes! Utilizing waste from the site as fertilizer, gathering soil, and perhaps a bit of GE to make sure they’re not eating anything toxic and getting the right vitamins — they can grow food. It’ll take work, but can be done with enough care. Keeping out mold will be a nightmare but god love 'em they're trying.

A handful of stray storage closets and part of the Hiring and Regulation Section have been converted into spaces for food growing

There is probably a whole bunch of shit they could science their way through when it comes to synthesizing food that isnt just mushroom farming tbh. Like turning petroleum and CO2 into food

Bottled water stores ran out swiftly. Water is primarily gathered through the usage of moisture traps (see: increased humidity). Due to SCP-001-A the harvesting of these traps are risky endeavors, and require a pre-setup of dilution equipment to ensure a lack of reflectivity. This harvested liquid is then abated to reduce risk of anomalous effects, and stored/distributed to personnel. Prior to his death in 2023, Dougall Deering would accompany those harvesting to ensure 001-A’s pacification. 

Any and all site wastewater is subjected to purification processes to acquire as much drinkable water as possible. Nothing goes to waste.  

Lake Huron itself and any groundwater adjacent to the site is unreachable and unusable due to SCP-001-B and SCP-001-C. 

There’s probably a vending machine or two that’s caught up in the 2002 causal loop reset that they can loot each year. They can have some treats, as a treat. 

For all I know this is one of those weird space-time situations where no one actually needs to eat or drink but sshhhhh it's fun to think about

Supplies

After each causal loop, the areas of the Site that are restored and re-destroyed are functionally “refreshed”. Though still heavily damaged and destroyed, these areas can be looted each year for materials -- copper wiring, plating, materials to repair other parts of the site, possible acquisition of rations and water.

Clothing from transmogrified personnel annually slain in the Archives and Revision and Applied Occultism can sometimes be recovered for use in repairing existing clothing, or as medical bandaging. 

Sections and faculties of the Site that go unused in the wake of the Paradox have been stripped; materials moved elsewhere for post-breach repairs and general maintenance of vital site functions.

Excursions outside of the Site are risky and dangerous -- though as successful containments of the breach have occurred, stability around Site-43 has begun to increase and grow safer. Nearby areas are occasionally scouted for any usable materials that remain, or were brought about by spatial/temporal distortions. 

The building of the REISNO Cannon was a nightmare to build in spite of its small size -- due to the amount of brute-forcing they had to do with its construction. When PHMD build the PXE alone, it took far more supplies to build.

Medical Care

To aid individuals wounded by SCP-001-A, able bodied personnel are encouraged to donate blood. 

These guys are working overtime due to the inherent dangers of the Paradox, doing the best they can to ration out their supplies and create what they can to help others.

Some members of personnel need to undergo treatment for sialorrhea, as the excessive production of saliva can put them at risk of both SCP-001-A and dehydration.

Medical personnel worked with the Memetics and Countermemetics Section to create Solution 001-A.

SCP-001-A

All reflective surfaces have either been destroyed, scuffed and scratched so that they are no longer reflective, or treated with Solution 001-A.

Application of Solution 001-A results in a clouding of the eyes and an impairment of vision. In light of added perceptions due to SCP-001, this is considered a blessing in disguise. 

Any personnel who had glasses has either had them destroyed, or took out the lenses from the frames.

Individuals wounded by -A are often given two options — needing to rigorously clean their wounds and be given bi-monthly blood transfusion to counteract the inability of the wound to heal and the risk of infection; or undergo amputation to completely rid themselves of the injury. For individuals whose injuries are not localized to their limbs, amputation cannot be done and the wounds simply must be taken care of. Seeing personnel with always bloody bandages, amputated limbs and prosthesis are not uncommon sights.

Bandages for -A wounds must be prior soaked in Solution 001-A, and wrapped tight, as to avoid the risk of the blood’s reflection. This is preferably done by medical staff, who have recordkeeping of all individuals wounded by -A.

SCP-001-B

Keepers of 001-B cannot communicate and over time grow conceptually vague, but the cycling of -B occurs while individuals are still recognizable. The Memetics and Countermemetics Section is in charge of the recordkeeping of Keepers.

Keepers can still interact with others and show their presence through physical touch and facial expressions. 

I don’t know if they are capable of writing, but it’d be cool if they devised a non-verbal and non-words series of drawn symbols and gestures for Keepers to utilize as a way to quasi-get around the anomaly. However “cannot communicate” could extend to “writing and sign language”

SCP-001-C

Lake Huron is to be avoided at all costs. Any individual attempting an excursion outside of Site-43 (typically for the gathering of biological materials from dead trees/foliage/etc) is not to approach due to the risk of the water rising again.

SCP-001-D

Respiration from the anomaly sometimes results in structural damage to the Site, or tremors, which requires repair.

The Survivors

The Site’s original population has been cleaved -- both by the initial breach’s heavy losses, and subsequent accidents. Only a little over 100 people remain come the 2030s, and Site-43 functions on a stretched-thin skeleton crew. 

Agent Radcliffe -- A bit torn up here and there from encounters with spectral and temporal entities, but is mostly okay. 

Agent Gwilhem -- Has a bad shoulder due a shrapnel injury. She has taken charge of the remaining members of MTFs Alpha-43, Beta-43 and Delta-43.

Technician Markey -- One of many individuals issuing repairs and maintenance to Site-43, he has sustained various small injuries to his hands due to his work. Lost a finger when it was crushed in a collapsing pipe. 

Dr. Wirth -- Has become pockmarked by various burn scars across his face and hands over the breaches. He received deep wounds across his stomach from SCP-001-A in 2027. Will never forgive himself. 

Chief Mukami -- Has taken major charge within the Site, primary maintainer of reports and processing of incidents. She has a few sparse injuries from an instance in which the bulkhead jammed during one of the loops, and she was injured by shrapnel. 

Technician Ambrogi -- Another individual who aids in site repairs, he would lose his leg in the aftermath of the initial breach due to structural damage caused by the detonation of the Keter and Euclid Wings, resulting in a small collapse of a hallway. Now utilizes a ramshackle leg prosthesis. 

Dr. Del Olmo -- Has sustained two injuries from SCP-001-A, a clawmark to the upper thigh, and one to the shoulder. Initially had turned down the offer of amputation due to their locations, but would have his leg amputated after severe infection years later. 

Dr. Deering -- Unscathed until the day he died. While everyone around him was hurt and bleeding and dying, he was always fine. It’s unclear if this is out of luck, or punishment. He thinks the latter. 

PHMD -- Injured by SCP-001-A shortly upon retrieval, receiving claw marks to the face and lower arm. Turned down amputation of the arm, claiming he needed both hands for his work. Wounds had become severely infected by the time he went missing due to neglect. 

Dr. Ngo --  Had a tendency to throw herself into danger to help others, was never wounded by SCP-001-A, but was a bit scuffed up due to other small scale accidents. Was practically the backbone of the Site for some people, as the only remaining psychologist, a lodestar of hope against this nightmare. Her death is still mourned. 

Dr. Reynders -- Mostly unscathed, aside from a few injuries -- notably one to her cheek from a temporal entity. Has gone missing.

Chronological reversions seem to have odd effects on those still alive. The running theory is that SCP-001 has severely slowed their aging to preserve their lives.

The See You In Hell PTF members are all friend-adjacent in my heart of hearts. Breach containment solidarity. Maybe a bit rough against the edges but we gotta tough it out together. All we’ve got is each other now, yknow?

jesus christ ok I think that's it I think that's all the thoughts in my brain if anyone actually reads this whole thing i heart you forever ok? i fffffucking love TL-5956-X 'n how fucked up it is I hope we get to see it again at sometime. regardless i will be thinking about it forever

[flodaya]

You lot talking about a wedding is funny when she just soft launched their break up 🤭

oh yeah right sorry totally on me, tom was clearly just crashing at her LA house because he couldnt afford a hotel for the last few months, and she is clearly only staying with tom in london to spend christmas with his family because they had an amicable breakup, and now she's walking around london hand in hand with tom so she doesn't get lost in the crowd, going on theater dates every other day because why not, and she even took noony all the way across the pond becuase yes clearly she and tom were going to break up, totally logical, silly silly me

[fangirlforeversthings]

Luna and obi wan

Having to raise, train and parent an (ok just sometimes) irresponsible, reckless, unreasonable and mentally unstable teen that just wants to have a normal life but has to be a brave skilled warrior and save the World*

A thrilling saga

[ratatatastic]

"Aaron, when you almost fell on the ice with the Stanley Cup—" "Oh, Jesus..." "It's s—o stupid..." "—I mean. Yo, and it would've been okay, man! Like, you know what? You'd be like, 'Oh! He's one of us!' you know? Did you catch yourself? Did you feel yourself slipping a little bit? I think it's kind-of heavy, right?" "My theory is: that I stepped on, like—one of those confettis, maybe? That fall from the sky. That's my theory. 'Cuz it was just a little slide then I turn and I was fine. Did you see Barky almost fell on the TV camera cord as well? Did you see that?" "Oh, shit." "Yeah, there's so much stuff on the ice..." "It was right after he took it from Gary [Bettman] and he put it up and he—Well, I mean he didn't fall. He didn't come anywhere close to falling 'cuz he's Jesus on the ice... on those edges he's incredible..."

The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)

nothing delights me more than ekky getting ribbed for being clumsy and instead of just taking it he has to drag sasha down with him XD like oh? i almost fell WELL DID YOU SEE BARKY—girl PIPE DOWN THIS IS ABOUT YOU BABY. BARKY AINT GOT NOTHIN TO DO WITH THIS.

every angle (x)(x) of the almost ekky spill is so funny man and i love to embarrass this man SO FOR THE FOLKS AT HOME ROLL THE CLIP

i think its soooo funny when he says my theory is the confetti sabotaged me 🤓👌 because if you look at the footage

GIRL WHERE. just admit your ankle got weirdly bendy and screeched in after a hard game it happens to the best of us man

also him throwing sasha under the bus especially because i was like huh? sasha almost tripped over a cord? i definitely wouldve noticed that TRUST ME so i looked at the footage to see what he was talking about....

"did you see barky almost fell on the tv camera cord?" (x)

"did you see that?" yeah. did you. did you see the way he didnt not even move at all when he went past it yeah YEAH (x)

me when i lie and want an excuse to not be the only guy thrown under the bus so i bring up a completely nonconsequential annecdote so i can change the narrative of being the only clumsy guy on the ice despite the fact i very much am, and other such things

"hes jesus on the ice" and other normal things to say about your captain while you smile sweetly and reminisce upon him and his amazing skating abilities