#trigger warning: death of a pet

[megpricephotography]

Apparently, today (2nd Tuesday in June) is World Pet Memorial Day, so I thought I'd share some pictures... My dear old Barney, who passed away in May of 2023 aged 16.5 years. Truly, the best of friends, who accompanied me on so many adventures & helped me through the worst time of my life. I cannot imagine any of my 20s without this dog at my side.

Barney's 1st dog-pal, Delilah (mostly known as Dilly) the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. She was born in 2002 & passed in 2013. She belonged to dad's family & Barney lived with her for the first few years I had him. What a fantastic little dog she was - the sort of pup who could go anywhere & was always so sweet & just happy. Those little paws of hers covered many miles over the years, although she was also entirely happy curled up on "her" chair all day.

Lyra & Hovis were border collies who belonged to my dad's SO. Lyra the little blue merle was very good friends with Barney, they loved running about together. Hovis wasn't the biggest fan of Barney, bless him but he was an absolutely sweet lad.

Tessa the German Shepherd Dog belonged to my best friend. She had been trained as a working dog for the military but seemed very happy to retire & spend her last few years as a pet! Excellent, 10/10 at scary barky faces but a lovely dog!

Not a dog... my little Elsie-cat, who we adopted in 2007 as an unnamed stray from a local rescue centre. She was such a great kitty & even came to live with me & my friends for my last year at uni. She helped us all write our final dissertations. She & Barney were good pals (she was The Boss of course!) for years. I was devastated to lose her aged 12.

And finally... Bertie, the border collie. He belonged to my beloved granddad (who sadly passed in 2011). Bertie was the unwanted "runt" of a litter born on a farm in the early '90s & he really should've been out working sheep but instead, he lived as a much loved but not much trained pet. He was wild! I was a small child at the time & I thought Bertie was the most fun animal in the entire world. By the age of 5 I knew I wanted my own border collie one day - because of Bertie. He's why I had Barney & have Flynn. Character wise, my Flynn reminds me a lot of old Bert, it makes me smile.

[certainwizardlady]

We wish we had more time with you. We wish you didn’t feel any pain. We wish we could go back and be with you all over again. We have a thousand wishes for you to be at peace.

This morning we lost our fur baby. I’m going to be gone for a bit. I’ll see you all when I see you.

[rh-leon]

I wrote an essay about how I relate to Cloud Strife from FFVII, here's the finished product.

Trigger warnings for mentions of dysphoria, suicidal ideation, and pet death. Spoilers for FFVII and Advent Children.

[wendelin-utt]

So... about those cat pictures.

Some of you might be confused why I have suddenly posted 5 full post that just was titled 'Part ____ / 5'. There is a reason. You can view each post from this one. It's because I have a lot to talk about.

As there's a lot to talk about, and it's talking about something in particular. If this were in a fic on ao3, there will be the archive warning of major character death.

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

Sadly, my grey cat, Libra, had been put down recently. As in today recently. The pictures I posted were of her and her sister. I've had these cats in my life for a long time. I remember them when I was 11, and I'm pretty sure they've been with us for even longer. After all, my younger sibling remembers the cats we having these cats a year earlier, as I would have been 10.

It was expected, especially for her age... but still. Don't worry, I'm fine. At least, I think I am? I don't know anymore as I'm tearing up while writing this. It's only been about an hour since she was put down. I didn't want her to suffer longer than she already had.

Actually, no I ain't completely fine. My heart still hurts, the wound is still fresh. However, I should be fine in some amount of time. It makes sense though, as Libra has been with me for about half of my life.

What devastates me even more is how I'm learning with how I grieve. I've only really experience this type of pain... once? Twice, if I'm stretching it. I'll explain the 'first' time... IE the one that is stretching because it happened first.

My sister-in-law passed away in... 2017? 2018? Well, all you need it know is her death was a few years before the one that I actually felt as I currently feel right now towards my own cat. I felt pain for her death, but not in the way one might expect. My thought process of grief was more for my older sister, my sister-in-law's wife.

I felt as though I could have prevented that death, as they both were living in the same place as I was. Not once does her death bring me to tears to think about, unlike the other example... unlike how I feel towards Libra as well. However, the thing I felt most was guilt. As I said, thought if I did something, that my sister-in-law would still be around.

Don't worry, I don't blame myself anymore. I know there's likely nothing I could have done different that would have brought my sister-in-law back. However... there are still those doubtful thoughts lingering. Not loud enough for me to pick up on them unless I want to bring up how I felt about it in the past.

The next death that felt much closer to home, at least for my heart... was actually one that many people felt. A legend for the Minecraft Community. Yeah, you all know who I'm talking about. It was like a gut punch when I found out that he didn't beat his fight against cancer.

The thing about it that made his death worse for me, made it more raw... was the fact I was crying. Unlike my own sister-in-law, who I didn't even cry for, for being just fine... Technoblade's death just sliced me to fine pieces. It made my heart just squeeze in pain. Knowing that, effectively, I was grieving some stranger over someone I knew personally.

I was able to gather myself quickly, long enough that his death doesn't feel raw... until I didn't have to avoid his content or anything that covered him. Yeah. I still feel bad that his death affected me more over my own sister-in-law. I still have a piece of jewelry that used to be hers, by the way. A ring, in particular.

Now my cat passed... I was in a call with friends to help me get my mind away from the topic. I just didn't want to be alone with my thoughts. I was trying to avoid thinking all together. I listened to music, softly singing it to myself to keep myself from thinking.

In a way, I'm using this post to help... vent my emotions? Is that the word? I don't know, I don't typically make these types of posts. For the whole post, what I've been trying to say is that someone very close to me kicked the bucket.

After her passing, I'm starting to realize how... well, strong I am? I don't like how I feel, that it's not effecting me more than it has been. As though I could handle the type of deaths one must experience in places like hospice care.

For those who want a summary of what all I typed there, it's simple. Reread that first sentence in this whole ramble. Libra, my grey cat... she's no longer with us. I was there, for the whole process.

Doing this... actually helped me a lot more than I thought it would. It felt good, getting all of that off my chest.

[bataddictedloony]

Today I had to bring my cat to the pet cremation centre. Leaving her there was one of the hardest things ive ever done. And thats saying smthn since i climbed up and down a mountain yesterday with 0 training.

it feels wrong for her to be there, with people she doesnt know, in a place shes never been. Its awful to think about what theyre gonna do to her. The fact that i’ll get her back tomorrow doesnt really feel like a comfort, cus she wont be herself, she’ll be ashes. But then i think “she’s never gonna be herself again, cus she’s gone.” And i have this pain in my chest all the time, that started the second i got the phonecall and hasn;t gone away yet.

they put her on a lil pillow and put some flowers next to her, and i pet her and held her lil paws and told her i miss her and i love her and tht she was the best cat and it just ripped me to fuckin shreds

I feel guilty that i wasn’t there. I was on holiday, my first relax holiday in ages, and i thought it’d be alright to go just a few days and have my parents check on her and by day 2 of vacation, she was gone. And she was mewing before i left, like she was telling me not to go, it’s almost time, pls stay with me. She had been more clingy than usual the past few weeks, and i just feel like i should’ve known and should;ve canceled my vacation. Like intellectually, i know it’s fine. My parents spent the evening with her, she cuddled with my dad, and then the next day they found her in her favourite sleeping position so we know she went painlessly and comfortable. And i still feel guilty that i wasn’t there to hold her.

i just feel sad. This overwhelming sadness that takes over the body. My back aches and i’ve been throwing up everything i’ve been eating. Though the muscle aches might be the consequences of climbing that damn mountain. Mom says the heat and the stress from pretty much grieving my best friend for 18 years prolly isn’t helping so there’s that.

i have to live with the reality that she’s gone and no longer in pain and that her living up to age 18 meant she had a fantastic life and all that is true. Mostly i just want her back with me, alive and annoying and cuddly.

[tap1rs]

.

[honeycombhank]

Well, I have sad news

⚠️ Pet death trigger warning ⚠️

3/14/24

I was holding my rats how I always do, sometimes one or many at once until everyone has had some good quality time and if I don’t get to everyone then I start the next day with who ever was up next.

Today I had been holding TipToe and Apple pie and then went to feed everyone because it was far past bedtime and I needed to start bedtime routine, this means I make sure I at least look at every rat making sure they are doing well and ensures I never miss something like a new health issue or injury that could have popped up that particular night, I saw everyone, everyone except mama moony, she had not come out for dinner, and even in her old age she always came out to eat dinner and say goodnight, tonight she did not, I knew what this most likely meant and moved boxes and bedding very carefully to try and find her, she was in their fizzy water box house and had passed away sometime this evening. My love helped me move her.. the ants had come to try and salvage her body and I couldn’t handle seeing it.

I won’t describe it but I will say it was really frightening and made me feel so uncomfortable and sad. I couldn’t have kept that from happening because even though I am taking steps everyday to keep the ants at bay they still are coming out immediately at even a thought of something worth it to them. I’m doing my absolute best at keeping things clean..

We quickly found something to put her in and removed her three daughters as well and placed them into a small cage with fresh bedding and water. I will clean their big cage tomorrow.

I have more to say but I just wanted to share what happened with you guys, I hope what I did share wasn’t too scary for anyone.

I am missing our sweet Mama Moony, she was so good at caring for all her babies and really showed such emotion and empathy towards other living creatures, she was always so kind and gave me one of the best experiences getting to watch her give birth and become a mother and seeing her navigate the way of the world.

Rest in peace Mama Moony Pooh. Don’t forget about us up in ratty heaven.

[kael-writ]

sometimes I wish cops were as kindly and benign as white boomer ladies think.

This dog has been barking outside my window at 1am for like a half hour and I fantasize about calling some friendly governmental helper to go over there and knock on the door and tell them to take their dog in.

Now, if I did call the real cops, the barking would also stop.

[atomic52]

RIP Gozer 3/12/2023 to 11/2/2023

"i loved you, i lost you. i didn't know you for as long as we should have but i know you loved me and i loved you. fly high my little limp noddle." 

Gozer was a very special cat, i had been keeping tabs on him since before he was born and i got him from and longtime friend so losing him so soon just makes it hurt that much more. 

[alttheloco]

I’m gonna be bitchy.

I fuckin hate it when people post things about cute little animals dying without any sort of cw. Like catch me crying over cats that I’ve never seen before just bc I was caught off guard by a sudden rlly sad death

[butleroftoast]

Trigger warning: pet death.

And I mean, actual. Not a stupid headcanon.

Flight was delayed by an hour. When we finally got onto the runway, I opened my messages quickly to let my family know I was on the move.

Which is how I learned, thirty seconds before leaving the ground, that my cat escaped the house and was hit by a car.

I don't know what to do. I feel cold and hollow. All the excitement for this trip has turned to ash, leaving me standing in my layover airport having a mental breakdown. I can't even get a hug for two weeks. I want to go home. I want my little buddy.

I'm sorry for posting something so depressing but I just feel utterly, utterly lost, with no one to turn to.

[sarahlancashire]

my dearest darling dog polly has died this evening & i don't know how to live without her

[importantsandwichgalaxy]

Its a sharp stone inside me cutting and ripping as i move.

It will eventually smooth down, wearing down, taking some of me with it.

i will carry this stone with me always.

It was the cost i agreed to pay so that i could love you