#treated myself to a snack and drink with lunch

[shoshiwrites]

Doing it (getting through the second half of the day) for her (unwatched episode of MotA)

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Making Him my Houseboy

This is Rod, my boyfriend. I was head over heels for the bodybuilder when we started going out...but that all changed when he moved in. Now, it's painfully obvious that he's just using me for a free room and beer.

Rod refuses to get a job. He insists that he needs the time to work out, but I've only ever seen him lounge around the house while I pay the bills. He barely even bothers to thank me for all the cooking or cleaning I do for him. It's like I'm his goddamn maid or something!

The first thing he says to me when I walk through the door is "Grab me a beer?" before holding out his palm expectantly.

He's a selfish partner, but Rod has no clue who he's dating. If he knew he was in a relationship with a warlock, I'm sure he'd treat me with more respect. I've got a lot of power, and I can easily fix his faults. I'm determined to turn him into real husband material.

Rod is going to have to change, a lot.

After reviewing some ancient manuscripts, I notice a spell that will supposedly make him into the "ideal household partner." The text seems a little vague, but it's worth a shot.

During my lunch break, I lock my office door and begin the ritual as the book describes. It doesn't take long to complete, but I have to wait until the workday is over before I can go home and see if Rod changed.

Stepping through the door after a long day at work, I immediately check the couch, but Rod isn't there. Looking into the home gym, I notice it's empty too. Those are the only two places I've ever found him.

"Babe, I'm home!" I call warily into the house, "Where are you at?"

"In the kitchen, babe!" his deep voice announces.

The joy in his voice throws me off. Nothing about the way he speaks sounds like my boyfriend. Rod hates using pet names, and he never set foot in that kitchen.

I nervously step towards the voice, and what I see in there almost gives me a heart attack!

Rod, my hyper-muscular and annoyingly masculine boyfriend has my frilly cooking apron on his built frame. I've never seen him smile with his teeth and yet his face beams with joy when I come in.

"Welcome home, honey. How was your day?"

This is already the most conversation we've had in a week. He's not the talkative type at all. He's not really the type to do anything other than pump iron, drink beer, and occasionally mess around in bed.

"It was good," I manage to say, "What have you been up to?"

"Well," my boyfriend chuckles, "This pie is for you, honey. I know how much you like it, and it's fresh from the oven. I just finished cleaning up the kitchen. It was a huge mess."

"Oh, so, you clean now too?" I gasp.

"What are you saying?" he playfully chides me, "Of course I do, babe. You deserve to come home to a clean house after a long day. Now, give me a kiss."

"Ok," I breath before stumbling his way.

Rod pulls off his rubber gloves and catches me before I fall into him, pulling me into a sweet peck on the lips. I sink into his arms, feeling his hard pecs beneath the apron.

The old Rod never kissed me unless he wanted something, but This Rod is clearly different. That spell was very effective.

"You must be tired, babe," he purrs into my ear, "Get comfortable. There's snacks in the living room, and I'll make you a drink."

I stumble to the couch and sink into the spot where I normally find Rod. This transformation has been hot, but I still have whiplash from all the sudden changes in him.

"Tell me about your day, honey!" he insists as he pours out my favorite wine.

"It was the usual 9 to 5: nothing special," I explain, "But it was payday, so that was nice."

I have no idea how to talk about myself, let alone my work. It's not like Rod ever used to ask me about either of those two things.

"I'm sure it was exhausting," Rod smiles as he delivers my drink, "You know, I'm so lucky to have you. You're going to be a big-shot one day, and I'll be right behind you like always."

The comforting words are so unlike him, but it's s turning me on to see him leaning into a new role as my submissive housewife. I'm really starting to like this house-broken Rod.

"Enough about me," I say, "Tell me about your day, sugar tits."

Rod's normally stoic face actually blushes at my comment. He'd never been this bashful.

"Let me grab the laundry while I do," he sings back in baritone, "I need to finish ironing your clothes for work tomorrow."

Rod swiftly lumbers off to the washer and dryer in the back of the house. I doubt he even knew where those things were this morning, let alone how to use them, but he returns with a basket of my shirts and underwear, setting up the ironing board like he'd done it a thousand times.

"It's a little embarrassing but I was pretty lazy this morning. I mostly laid on the couch and drank some beers, but around lunch time I had this insane boost in energy," he explains as he presses my shirt.

"Really?" I feign cluelessness.

"Yeah, it was the craziest thing," he adds with a bright smile, "I just had so much motivation all of the sudden, so I tossed the beer out, got dressed and did some grocery shopping."

"You went grocery shopping?" I snicker.

"Yeah, I had no idea where anything was, but I got the stuff on the list plus some extra for the pie."

"I didn't know you could make a pie."

"Me neither!" he threw his hands up in surprise.

"That's a productive afternoon, babe," I praise.

"It was, babe," he smiles back lovingly, "I'll get started on dinner in an hour or two, if that's ok. I'd like to hit the gym still tonight. I've got to push myself to keep this body looking good for you."

Rod flexes an already massive arm. He had never been one to show off, but I liked the idea of him wanting to look his best for me, like a good trophy husband should.

"That's alright, babe," I reply, sinking further into the couch, "But I am getting hungry over here."

"I'll speed up," he promises, quietly focusing on folding the rest of my dress shirts, "All the housework is just about done so after dinner, I'll be all yours."

"That's how I like it," I chuckle.

Rod is the perfect house-husband now, and we are finally equally devoted to each other. I can't wait to get him out of that apron after we eat. He's never let me top before, but I have a feeling I'll be doing a lot more of that from now on.

[coqxettee]

Coquette Summer

Bucket List: ☀️🧺🌸

Some ideas for your summer 2023 bucket list. Coquette activities, trips, days out and things you can do with friends or alone. Write these ideas in your journal and make your own bucket list if you like! <3

Go on a picnic ~ You can do this with friends or on your own! Take an aesthetic picnic blanket and basket, pack fruit, sandwiches, salad, cookies, cupcakes (whatever you like!) and have a Coquette picnic. Dress cute for the occasion and make sure to take lots of pictures <3

Host a Tea Party ~ Invite friends over and decorate your dining table with a pretty tablecloth. Grab fancy cups and saucers (you can find these in antique stores, or better yet a whole tea set complete with a tea pot!) and have a tea party. Drink rose or jasmine tea, have scones, bread & jam, miniature sandwiches, cookies/biscuits, cake. You could even do it Marie Antoinette, high-tea inspired. Dress all regency and cute and make it the fanciest, coquette, tea party ever! <3

Beach day ~ Grab your heart shaped sunnies and have a beach day! Bring a pink towel with you, a large pretty sun-hat, and make sure you pack all the pretty-girl beach essentials. Tanning lotion, a romance novel, fresh fruit, a blanket to sit on (if you don’t have a deck chair) sun cream (spf) lipgloss, a hair brush, and your camera to snap some cute beach shots! Walk down the boardwalk, listen to Lana and grab an ice cream, wear pink flip flops and a cute pink and white gingham bikini <3

Berry picking ~ Wear the most dreamy, float cottage-core, princess dress, a large sun hat and take a wicker basket with you to go berry picking. You can book a slot online and go into a local field. Take pictures and pick ripe berries to take home with you, ready to use for baking later on in the week <3

Baking day ~ Wear a cute little apron, put Lana on your record player in the kitchen and have a baking day! Bake cherry pie, heart-shaped cookies, jam cookies, chocolate-chip cookies, scones, cupcakes, an actual cake… anything and everything! Take cute photos when you bake, it can be great to make memories with friends. Once you’ve baked all your sweet treats, package them up and choose some to give to friends and family, some for later occasions (picnics & tea-parties) and most importantly… some for you! <3

Go to a market ~ If you live in the country there are loads of cute farmers markets on in summer. Keep some money back with you, wear a long, flowing style skirt and a bow in your hair and take a cute tote-bag to keep everything you buy in. Look for small Coquette trinkets on some of the handmade stalls, buy fresh fruit and lemonade for lunch and have a slow, relaxing day at the market <3

Antique shopping ~ Go antique shipping. For your room or house. You can find so many beautiful, Coquette homeware items, clothes, trinkets, jewelry and much more in antique shops. Google the best ones in your area, set aside a day, and go <3

Try out new café’s in your area - Google fancy café’s or even café’s that do afternoon tea. You could go with friends or have a solo cafe trip. Bring a book with you if you go on your own, to read. Or a sketchbook to sketch the world around you. Try something new on the menu! <3

Coquette movie day ~ Plump out your bedroom or living room with pink pillows, fairy lights, candles and lavender room spray. Put on the comfiest pair of pajamas you have Grab snacks, popcorn, anything you baked earlier in the week, fresh fruit (anything you like!) And have a whole day of watching JUST coquette movies. Disney princess films, any period drama’s, any mystical and magical movies, romance movies. Movies that are super light-hearted and make you feel like the princess you are inside. This is really fun to do with friends too! <3

Jewelry making ~ Learn how to make prettt, coquette jewelry. I always see such cute jewelry online and want to know if I can make it myself. The kits might be a bit pricy to buy, but once you’ve built up a jewelry making collection your all set! Make some summer earrings, necklaces, and bracelets <3

Learn to Crochet ~ Something I have wanted to learn for ages! There are tons of tutorials on YouTube and you can pick up pretty colored yarn from the market. If you are really good you can crochet things for the summer like tank tops, bikini sets and headbands! <3

Start a summer journal ~ Or just start journaling in general. I’m making a summer journal full of scrapbook pages I can add all of my coquette summer pictures too when summer is over. Decorate it with coquette stickers and really make it your own. Get creative <3

Have a self care day ~ It’s not sunny everyday in Summer (usually) so set aside one of the cloudier or cooler days for a movie day, or self care day! Wake up early and have an everything shower, and take care of YOU! Do a face mask, manicure, pedicure, do every step to your skincare routine, wash and remake your bed, tidy your room. By the end of the day you will feel like a new person and trust me it’S WORTH IT! <3

Have a sleepover ~ You kinda need friends for this one. I’m sure everyone knows how to have one but do really coquette activities! Paint each others nails, style each others hair, Watch coquette movies, talk about boys. All the classic things you see in the girly movies that you feel never actually get done at sleepovers… do them! Order pizza, do face masks, bake things, and stay up as late as possible for a… midnight feast! <3

-HERE ARE SOME MORE IDEAS! <3 -

Re-decorate your room for summer <3

Go on vacation <3

Go bowling <3

Cute cinema trip (watch a romantic movie) <3

Go to a fancy restaurant <3

Make a summer scrapbook <3

Plan cute summer outfits for the weeks ahead <3

Try out new summer hairstyles <3

Go to a milkshake-bar/diner <3

Go roller-skating <3

Go to the arcade

Find some pretty summer walks in your area, take pictures of wildlife you spot etc <3

Go to a farm (farmers daughter vibes iykyk) <3

Go to the theatre and watch the ballet <3

Have a signature, coquette summer scent <3

Write in your daily summer diary every night and seal it with a lipstick kiss <3

I hope you found these ideas helpful, aesthetic and fun! Have the best summer ever darling’s ~

🌸☀️🧺🍦🎀

[the---hermit]

I have not kept it a secret that this semester commuting has been really rough on me. By the time I get home in the middle of the afternoon even if I only had to sit in a hour and a half lecture I feel like an overcooked noodle. And the mornings aren't any easier, my anxiety has been spiking a lot lately, and that messes me up completly, and it's particularly hard on my stomach. Let's just say it's a very demanding period of my life both physically and emotionally and I have been doing my best to get through it with ups and downs, but most importantly by trying to properly take care of myself. I decided to compile a list of small things that have been helping me, both for future reference as well as for people who might be dealing with similar issues.

Prep everything I can the night before. I don't leave the house until more or less mid morning since my class is on lunch time more or less (and this will come up again), so I do have time to do stuff in the morning, but if I have already put everything I need in my backpack, picked an outfit for the day and checked that I have my bus ticket the night before I can have a much calmer morning. Having a calm morning is fundamental for me on any day, so especially when I have a stressful and energy demanding day ahead I want to make sure I don't have to rush, and here is my second point.

Try to have a morning as calm as possible before I have to leave. I am a morning person so I wake up quite early which means I have plenty of time to take it easy. And this means drink my tea as I read my book, prep the last few things I need, like my waterbottle, eat (on which I'll have a later point). Overall my morning before leaving needs to be slow and mostly made of things for myself so again my precious reading time, listening tocmusic as I get ready to get in a better mood and so on.

Taking my meds regularly. It's the logical thing to do, if I am in a period in which my anxiety is worse than usual the number one goal is to be consistent with meds, they are there to help me even if sometimes I forget that.

Finding ways to enjoy food when anxiety fucks up my stomach. What happens is that as soon as I have an anxiety spike for some reason I get very nauseous, which is terribly by itself and it gets worse when it makes me struggle to enjoy my food. But I found a couple of ways to work around that in the past few weeks. Eating when I am away from home is much worse so what I do is embrace the little hobbit in me and have more meals when I am at home, and just bring some snacks on the road if I need them. That means I have two breakfasts before I have to leave the house, the last being a bit more filling. And then when I get home no matter how tired I am or what time it is I cook something for myself, something simple, but I take the time to make something good that fills me up and makes me happy. Because having a full stomach does improve your mood belove me. When I am on the road I bring some lighter snacks that can help me if I feel like I need to have something but that will also work well if I have a spike in anxiety and correlated nausea. I usually eat some homemade bread while I walk from the bus stop to my uni, and then snack on some nuts while I wait for the lecture. And I always have an emergency sweet treat in my backpack because that is something that I actually do on a regular basis. This thing has been working very well, I have had less problems with my stomach acting up, and I am definitely getting all the nutrients I need during the day, just at times that are a bit different from my normal routine.

Bring tea with me. It's something I never did before but it's becoming the one thing I won't give up. I either make a green tea or an herbal tea that I drink before the lecture, and it's been so good for me both physically and mentally. It's been super cold so the warm treat is really needed, but most importantly it's been very comforting and calming, so shutout to my dad for suggesting that.

Having little things to look out for during the commute. This mostly consists of me listing to podcasts, and re:dracula has been of great company in my commutes last year so it's nice it's become a bit of a tradition. It's just good for me not to associate commuting with negative things, so now I just percieve it as poscast time which makes it much much better. This also includes texing friends when I feel like I can look at the screen of my phone without getting car sick (again when anxiety messes me up I can get random car sickness), that's good to keep my mind off things and make the commute feel lighter.

Total relax when I get home. Which sometimes means lying in bed with a cup of tea and nothing more. If I have enough brain power I might read a comic, or play stupid midless games on my tablet for a bit. Honestly just things that need as little energy and brainpower as possible because by that time I do not have much energy or brainpower left, and it's okay. I normally use up a lot of energy when going out and it this period of time all tasks require I use even more energy. I can't do much about it other than accept it and do my best to tke care of myself.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

Ok, ok... I have one request with ror! I have been waiting for this. Also, really loves your writings, it made my day

This is basically my most recent experience. Child reader have severe allergic to peanuts and her family (the entire ror team) know this and warned her school prior, to avoid her getting allergic reaction during school times. One day, there was an event at school, where all the ror attend it since reader is performing with her class and want them to come and parents/family members were invited.

After child reader performance, she immediately went to enjoy lunch with her family and she suddenly got the urge to eat something sweet. This led her to go by the food stall, which was run by a few parents and teachers, who sells baked goods, drinks, etc to the students and parent. Child reader bought some cookies after the mother that sells it confirmed there was not peanuts, only for the reader to get instant allergic reaction!

Thankfully, her family reacted fast and inject her with her epipen. When the mother was confront, she responded with "Allergic doesn't exist. Children uses it as an excuse to be picky!"

How will the ror react to this, especially when reader is crying because she is terrified since it has been long since she got a horrible allergic reaction?

When I first read this request, I got so pissed off! I hate people who have this mentality, those who are willing to put the lives of others at stake to prove an asinine point that usually ends up with someone getting hurt, sick, even killed, which ends with them getting arrested. As someone who has a food sensitivity myself (not really a food allergy, but I have to watch how much gluten I eat in one sitting or risk messing up my stomach for a few days) I hate it when others think that we’re just being picky, or we use that as an excuse for who knows what!

-Your family learned young that you were severely allergic to peanuts, hives and throat swelling with a risk of death if you were even come into contact with peanuts.

-You learned a lot about this too, learning what questions to ask so you wouldn’t risk the chance of having a reaction, as you had a few times in your life where you had been rushed to the hospital, and hospitals scared you as it scared your family seeing you in one.

-For the most part, it was pretty easy to avoid peanuts or things with peanuts, as you all got to know what things have and don’t have them, it was just outside of home where you had to be careful, like at sleepovers or at school.

-It was Parent’s Day at school, and you were so excited to be performing with your second-grade class, as you would all be singing, and your class had been practicing so hard!

-There were so many things happening at your school, pony rides, a huge bake sale, a bounce house, and you got the chance to show your massive family around your school.

-Your class preformed, and you couldn’t help but grin, seeing your whole cheering section cheering loudly for your class, but mainly for you, as your family was a staple around school, everyone knew about them because nobody else had such a huge family.

-After a few more performances, there was a break, and a large snack table was set up, filled with baked treats, extra stuff not a part of the bake sale, and all students were allowed to go up and get a treat.

-You saw one of your friend’s mom manning the treats and she beamed at you as you ran up, “You all did so well Y/N! Tammy said you were all working so hard and I can see that it was hard work paid off! What can I get for you?”

-You looked at the treats, eyeing the different things available before you paused, remembering the rule, “What doesn’t have peanuts in it? I have an allergy.”

-She just smiled, directing you to some cookies, giving you a napkin and you headed back towards your family who was watching you come over.

-You bit into the cookie and as soon as you swallowed the first bite you knew it had peanuts in it, your throat swelling as you instantly paled.

-Loki screamed out your name as attention quickly went to you, seeing your having an allergic reaction, a severe one as Brunnhilde grabbed your Epi-Pen from Eve, jamming it into your thigh.

-A teacher was on the phone, calling for an ambulance and instantly several of your family members stomped over to Tammy’s mom, demanding to know what she was thinking giving you peanuts.

-Hades spoke, his rage barely contained, “Why did you give her something with peanuts? She told you she has an allergy!”

-Her mom didn’t look bothered in the slightest, rolling her eyes, “Allergies are just something kids use now to be picky!” Hades leaned in close, seeing the school nursing guiding in the paramedics, who had been nearby, waiting for an injury on the bounce house, “She could die because of you- you deliberately poisoned her!”

-A couple of police officers, seeing the group, were quick to approach, hearing this, “Is this true? Did that child tell you about an allergy and you knowingly gave that to her?”

-She was in hysterics, “She’s lying- you’re all lying! There’s no such thing as allergies!!” she was quickly placed in cuffs and taken away as you were being taken away, Tammy and her father watching nearby, Tammy in tears to see you being taken away while her dad was furious, seeing what his wife had done.

-You had to spend three days in the hospital, in a coma after you nearly died, as you weren’t getting oxygen into your body. Tammy and her parents visited you, with her mom being watched, seeing the state you were in.

-Tammy couldn’t help but tear up, “Mommy- why did you hurt my friend?” Seeing all the judging and angry eyes on her quickly had her mother embarrassed, wanting to run and hide, but her husband made sure she knew the severity of what she had done, keeping her there, making her look at your little body in the hospital bed.

-Her mother had to attend classes, to show her that allergies were a real thing, showing the signs and symptoms, including death, to educate her, and she had to pay your hospital bill, something she wasn’t pleased with, and she was banned from baking at any school function again. Her reputation also took a hard hit, losing most of her friends and Tammy was upset because none of her friends wanted to play at her house anymore.

-You were well cared for, healing and soon you were back on your feet, playing with Tammy who came to visit with you.

-It became a thing at school to regularly educate not only the kids but parents and families as well about allergies, especially food related allergies, because so many had been scared for you, seeing how badly you reacted.

-Good education and knowledge is what kept not only you but others safe and it was up to everyone to make sure everyone was safe.

[training4hogwarts]

365 Days to Healthy

TW: Eating Disorders Mentioned

First, this idea came from @mystoryfortheaudienceoftheworld. She's inspired me to really start caring about my health again. Ever since my break-up two years ago, I haven't cared in the slightest. I've gained and lost the same 15 pounds. Tomorrow starts 365 days of focusing on my health.

I want to focus more in intuitive eating and non-scale victories. My binge eating has been astronomical lately and it's not even due to stress or emotionally. I'm just eating because I can, I'm bored, etc.

When I do try to "get back on the wagon," I am going all the way to the other side of things and restricting, fasting, and almost purging. I don't want to lose weight that way. I want to heal my relationship with food more than anything.

I am going to limit tracking things, being so hard on myself, etc. I've made some "rules" I want to follow that are going to help heal my relationship with food and to stop toxic behaviors.

*I also want to post a disclaimer, I am posting these as if I'm talking to myself... haha.

It is important I eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. No more skipping meals. These meals will be well-rounded with a protein source, a serving of simple carbs, and veggies or fruit.

If I'm hungry between meals, I can have a snack of fruit, veggies, or protein. It's important to limit snacking on carbohydrates because of my diabetes. This does not mean I can't have them with a meal!

At the end of the day, I can have a sweet treat as long as I check-in with myself and evaluate how I'm feeling emotionally. I know myself, and if I'm not emotionally okay, I will binge the sweets.

I know my current weight is 340 pounds. I will not step on the scale until December 31, 2024. I'm currently obsessed with weighing multiple times a day. No more. In the new year, I will weigh myself once a month, on the last day. NSVs will be acknowledged more than the scaled.

I will NOT track calories, macros, water in take, steps, or miles. I will use logical thinking to make my decisions, not anything else. I will prioritize water, walking, and healthy choices but there will be no guilt associated with picking a burger over a salad or drinking a diet coke with dinner instead of water.

I WILL track days Binge Free and my monthly weigh ins. I will celebrate every achievement.

Every single diet app on my phone will be deleted. I don't need them.

I want to start moving my body more. Right now, I'm focusing on getting my eating under control but I will do small things to increase my activity. Examples: walking to student's classrooms to pick them up instead of calling, parking in the back of the parking lot to walk to the door, take the stairs vs elevator, etc.

That's it. I know what it takes to lose weight. It's not going to happen overnight. It's going to take time. I'm going to do this for 365 days. I'm no longer dieting, I'm changing my life.

[mooodyblue]

take my pressure to the moon, astronaut | austin x plussized!reader

summary: it's valentine's day and austin wants to treat you right, only for it to backfire due to the anxious thoughts in your head.

warnings: nsfw mdni p in v, mentions of body image issues, mentions of not wanting to eat, read at ur own discretion 🙏🏼 probably missing some warnings idk

wc: 2.2k

a/n: i had nothing planned for today but alas. had a breakdown last night, got an idea at midnight and stayed up till 3 am just to finish this in one sitting. i told myself how i wished there were more plus sized!reader fics that weren't just smut and here i go writing more smut. but it's valentine's day! please be mindful of the tags. stay safe and happy valentine's day my friends <3 title is from 1/6 by sunmi 💗

masterlist

you always hated valentine's day. but it was different this year considering you were with austin now.

previous years, you'd find yourself in the clearance isles the day after, stocking up on your favorite snacks and then have your own late celebration. however, you'd never admit that to austin. you'll still be checking out that clearance isle though.

you didn't think you'd actually get to spend the day with him considering his busy schedule. he'd specifically asked for the day off just to treat you today. you were pleasantly surprised when you woke up to breakfast in bed, made by austin. it was nothing fancy. the tray had a plate of waffles, fruit, toast, eggs and of course, your beloved iced coffee that had mostly milk and creamer in it because you hated the taste of coffee. it's the little things that austin remembers and it's one of the main reasons he won you over.

he set the tray next to you, smiling proudly. "just call me gordon ramsay!"

you looked at the tray, a surpised expression on your face. "oh, austin! this is so-"

"but wait, there's more! hold on." austin left to the room only to return shortly, a small bouquet of roses in hand. "happy valentine's day, baby." he handed you the roses and placed a kiss on your cheek before sitting next to you, moving the tray to your lap.

oh, you could have just cried right then and there. "i didn't even get to do anything for you." you frowned.

"don't worry about it, trust me." he chuckled. he took a piece of fruit from your bowl, "now eat! i have a fun day planned for us." he said, feeding it to you.

after breakfast, you washed up and sat down at your vanity to do your make up. austin joined you in the bedroom, propping himself up on the bed and scrolling through his phone as he waited patiently for you to finish.

"what do you have planned? should i be scared?" you joked, working on your eyes.

he looked over at you, "scared? maybe a little." you widened your eyes, snapping your neck at him. "i'm just kidding! don't worry about it. 'm gonna take you to go buy a new dress for dinner tonight, then i was thinking we could....."austin continued to list off your plans for the day, but all you could do was focus on him mentioning dinner. knowing him, he most likely booked a table for the two of you at a restaurant. a public restaurant.

"...ashley told me about this amazing place in beverly hills......" you weren't even paying attention anymore. the thing is, your weight never really bothered you. it didn't bother austin either, he loved you no matter what size you were. but for some reason, you suddenly felt self conscious at the idea of eating at a public restaurant where you could easily be photographed mid bite, just to end up on the cover of some headline about someone at your weight dating austin butler.

crazy enough, you'd never eaten in public with austin. no fancy dinner or lunch dates, maybe an occasional date at a cafe, but you'd usually just get a drink and nothing else. you refused to eat in public, it was a genuine fear that you had.

"you still with me?"

you looked at him through the mirror, going back to applying your eyeliner. "yeah, sorry."

dress shopping was rough on you, especially knowing someone could easily photograph you trying on unflattering dresses and dresses that were a bit too small on you. you'd gone through five dresses already and you ended up hating them all, it was frustrating. you wished he didn't have plans on taking you out to dinner tonight cause it definitely would have made shopping a little easier.

"austin, i don't like any of these." you said through the dressing room door. "and the last one you gave me didn't even fit, it's embarrassing."

"hold on, i'm still lookin'" he went through another rack, lips perking up at a red dress that was just your size, perfect for valentine's day. "try this one on." he tossed it over the door and stood by the wall, waiting for you to come out.

the dress did fit and you were surpised at how good it looked on you, smiling softly at your appearance in the mirror. you walked out of the stall, showing it off to austin. "what do you think?"

"oh baby," he whistled and motioned for you to turn around, giving him a show. "i'd have you right here in this store if i could." your cheeks warmed up at his words, feeling your self esteem get a nice boost. "you're buyin' that one. can't wait to show you off tonight."

those words kept lingering in your brain, how he was going to show you off. it scared you slightly. you had no issue being photographed with austin, although annoying at times cause y'know...privacy. but why were you suddenly so bothered by it? you refused to bring it up to austin. you know he worked hard to get these reservations and you didn't want to ruin his plans for you.

on the way to the restaurant, you felt yourself get even more nervous, anxiety bubbling up in your chest. you really didn't want to do this. austin would understand completely, but maybe you'll push through just for him.

unfortunately, you were seated directly across from a window, perfect for someone to snap photos of the two of you. the restaurant was also filled, which didn't help at all. "i told 'em to put us in the corner." he sighed, looking over at the window. "i think we'll be alright though."

he'll be alright, but you? who knows. you just smiled and nodded, looking down at the menu and looking for something not messy, something that wouldn't have people questioning your eating habits the next day.

everything on the menu worried you, there was no safe option and you were definitely going to be laughed at on social media no matter what you ordered. you gave up and went with a pasta.

you weren't giving much to the conversation, just nodding along and taking sips from your wine. austin could tell something was off and you knew. "you alright?" before you could answer, the food was brought out and you looked down at it, questioning whether or not you should eat it or take it to go. "y/n?" he knew the moment you looked up at him.

you really tried not to cry or even tear up, it was all just frustrating for you. you wanted to eat the pasta in front of you, but your brain wouldn't stop giving you all these scenarios of what people would think of you.

austin pushed plate over to your side and stood up. "scoot over."

"what are you doing?" you asked, looking up at him.

"just-" he gestured with his hands for you to move. you moved your plate to the side along with your body as he sat beside you, shielding you away from the people there. it was a little awkward having you two sit on the same side, but it was kind of sweet. "will you eat a little bit? just for me?"

you looked at him then back down at your food, picking up the fork and taking a bite from it, covering your mouth with your hand anytime you chewed just out of habit. you could tell it made austin slightly sad, but he was just happy to see you eat.

he decided against dessert which made you feel slightly bad. "are you sure you don't want dessert?" you frowned.

he placed a hand on your lap. "i have something at home."

you only ate half of your food, too anxious to eat but well enough to eat enough to make austin happy. you'll eat the rest for breakfast tomorrow, anyway.

his hand didn't leave your thigh on the whole ride home, occasionally squeezing it and caressing your soft, delicate skin.

"i'm sorry." you muttered.

"for what?"

you looked down at your lap, watching how austin's hand gripped at your thigh. "ruining dinner."

"you didn't ruin dinner." he sighed. "i'm just happy you ate. i'm proud of you, baby."

you gave him a warm smile, but there was still that slight feeling of dread for ruining dinner.

the moment you got home, you put your leftovers in the fridge. as you turned around, you were met with austin leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed as his arms darted up and down your body. "austin i-"

"don't." he walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "i wish you could see yourself the way i see you."

"oh, austin...." you rolled your eyes.

"listen to me." he moved his arms to cup your face, "you're gorgeous. you're the most beautiful human being i've ever laid eyes on. you have no idea how bad i wanted to rip that dress off of you and take you right there in front of everyone to see."

your cheeks got hot, a familiar sense of warmth running through your body.

"gonna fuck all of those nasty, little thoughts out of that head of yours. i promise you." he growled, crashing his lips onto yours. he caught you off guard, stumbling and having your back meet the fridge. your hands cupped at his jaw, letting his tongue slip through your mouth. his hands traveled all over your body, stopping at your breasts as he squeezed them through your dress. "love your tits so much." he muttered in between kisses.

you felt him hard against your thigh, only making you crave him even more. "fuck, austin-" you gasped.

you moved your hand to give him some pressure, only for him to slap your wrist away. "don't worry about me baby, let's focus on you." he pulled away from you slightly to bend down and hook his hands under your thick thighs. you let out a slight yelp as he lifted you up and brought you to the other side of the kitchen, slamming your back against the wall as he continued to explore your mouth, tasting the sweet, wine still on your lips from dinner.

you tried to pull yourself down, pulling away from his lips. "i'm too-"

"shut up." he met your lips again, coaxing you out of your thoughts once again. he began hiking up your dress to just above your dripping, wet cunt, tsking at the lack of underwear. he pulled the zip down of his dress pants, pulling himself out of his underwear and finally freeing his hard cock, glistening with precum as he wrapped his hand around himself, moving his fist up and down a few times. "see what you to do me? fuck."

you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist as your arms went to neck. "oh my god, fuck me. please." you begged.

he wasted no time and eagerly inserted himself into you, throwing his head back at the warm, right feeling around him. "feelin' so good around my cock, baby. keep those legs around me." he slammed in and out of you, watching as your breasts bounced along with his thrusts, the straps of your dress slipping with every move of his hips. "love this body of yours baby, takes me so fucking well. can never stop thinkin' about you."

there was something about knowing how you made austin feel, all of your insecurities from before suddenly feeling pointless. you wanted to appreciate your body more, after all, austin loved it therefore you should love it too. you were always so amazed at how much he loved your body, how he explored every part of it during sex, squeezing and kissing in all the right places. and now being fucked against the wall, his strong arms holding you tightly against it as he groaned into your neck, praises leaving his mouth left and right, you couldn't have asked for anyone better.

"oh my god, austin. austin, austin, austin." you moaned, throwing your head back as he hit your sweet spot.

"yeah, say my name baby." he slammed a hand against the wall as he moved his hips faster, nipping and kissing at your neck. "god, you were made just for me."

the sounds coming from the both of you were pornograpic, the sounds of your moans and juices filling the entire kitchen. you felt yourself getting closer, your orgasm bubbling inside you quickly. he knows it as he feels you flutter around his cock, earning a grunt from him as his own climax was approaching. "oh my pretty baby, love you so fuckin' much."

"aus, i'm gonna-" you whimpered.

"me too, c'mon. gonna fill you right up." his thrusts began to stutter, slowing down as his orgasm hit, moaning as he felt your walls clench right around him. "that's right, so perfect for me, good lord." he panted.

he kissed you again, pulling away and touching your forehead with his as the two of you caught your breaths. "marry me." he said breathlessly.

your eyes widened. "what?"

he let out a breathy laugh. "you heard me."

you didn't know what to say. there was so much to take in. he still had you pinned up against the wall, his cock was still inside you and he just came inside of you, now suddenly you're being proposed to. you let out a laugh, "i can't believe you just proposed to me with your dick still inside of me."

"still waiting for that answer."

you hummed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. "let's do it."

taglist: @flwrs4aust @father-of-2cats @ellie-24 @dilfelvis @shantellescrivener @orngdrv @pennyroyalcreep @18lkpeters @purejasmine @ranaissinglw

[lizzie-gains]

I've been struggling with my goals, so I'm breaking them down into weekly goals for the moment, to be more attainable. That said,

Weekly goals, 13th-19th November

Food and drink goals:

Take time to make a good breakfast in the morning - successful 6/7 days

Prepare lunch in the evening - eh... I had frozen meals for 2 work lunches, takeaway burritos for 2, and my meal delivery service meal for 1. Technically I prepared by having frozen meals?

Prepare some healthy/easy snack options for work, also some snacks/treats to nourish my emotions - successful, had fruits, granola bars, etc, plus some treats on hard days

Enjoy some of my variety of herbal teas, maybe in place of or alongside some of my coffees - successful, I've been enjoying my range of herbals, particularly turmeric and cinnamon tea each morning

Aim for 2L water/day, and consider playing around with fun additions to make it more interesting, like fruit or floral waters - only achieved this on a few days, wasn't tracking but I know I was dehydrated more days than I'd like

Movement goals:

Try to go for a walk 2x (treadmill or outside, depending on how I'm feeling + the weather) - not successful, 0/2 walks

Try to do some gentle movement like yoga 2x - 1/2 only

Utilise opportunities for incidental movement or adding movement to static activities - have been adding in extra movement when possible

Do my physio exercises 3x - also did not achieve this, 0/3

Self care goals:

Add meditation into my days; use short meditations to make this more attainable - successful, meditated at least 5 days this week

Practice mindfulness - sometimes, this is a work in progress

Allow myself time to complete my skin care routine - successful, have been reasonably consistent

Start reading a book on my to-read list - did not start reading anything yet

Practice journalling, or try writing therapy - have been journalling

Partake in a spiritual practice at least once this week - successful

Remember to listen to my body and be respectful of my needs, treating myself with kindness and love - I experienced fatigue and headaches for most of this week, which is why my movement goals in particular weren't achieved, so I'd say I listened to my body

This feels flexible and attainable for my current state (which is not great, but getting better).

[arctic-hands]

My milk journey has been

First meal: rice porridge with breast milk

Start dropping weight and can't stay out of the bathroom by age seven, get told to avoid dairy so mom buys Lactaid milk for a year. Whole family despises it and Mac and cheese in particular is now terrible and avoided. I'm still very sick anyway

Be diagnosed with Crohn's at age nine. Resume consuming regular dairy

Twelve-ish: begin to feel a little distress at eating ice cream. Does not stop me from accepting a Dairy Queen cheesequake blizzard reward for single handedly winning a science class quiz game that was supposed to be played in teams but no one wanted me. By sheer force of will and remarkable sphincter control for an IBD patient, mange to wait it out get home that day before having a violent reaction.

Thirteen: throw up violently at school after having cheese sticks for my free lunch. Convince myself it was just the greasiness of the meal that set me off

Fourteen: go into high school conceding the point that I'm lactose intolerant. Unsuccessful at lobbying the head principal to provide lactose free strawberry milk. Start paying more money than a lunch would have even cost if I didn't qualify for free lunch at the snack bar for juice or V8 in order to not go thirsty at lunch. Repeatedly throw up when the only option for lunch other than the very popular spicy chicken every Wednesday that I couldn't tolerate mouth-wise or gut-wise was the same cheesesticks that I had in middle school

Sometime later in high school: discover the Meijer's house brand of lactose free milk actually tastes decent.

Seventeen-ish. Find a hair in the carton of Meijer's lactose free milk and swear off it forever. Try rice milk

(Also an aside at seventeen: develop celiac disease and I thanked my lucky stars that it was polite enough to have waited until I was done with wildly ableist school and too old to trick or treat)

I forget which age but I was a fresh and new adult: discover rice milk ice cream. Desperately pretend it tastes and feels like real ice cream.

Shortly after: try coconut milk. It's tasty, but hardly a neutral milk-like taste and doesn't go well when mixed with other ingredients. Coconut milk ice cream is likewise lackluster

Nineteen? Discover the boxed and shelf stable almond milk. Begin to have hope.

Twenty: find out they started making a cartoned and refrigerated almond milk that tastes brilliant

Twenty three? Realize I have forgotten the taste of dairy milk. Almond milk reigns Supreme

Twenty-six: find out what an environmental menace the non-native aimond trees used in American almond milk is to drought-stricken California. Feel guilty but also feel like there's no real way to avoid drinking almond milk

Twenty-eight: Oat milk explodes in the plant milk scene. I ignore this because there's a high likelihood of cross contamination with wheat in both the field crop and in the processing of oats in the same facilities of wheat. No major and common oat milk brands have any gluten free signage

Twenty nine: Oatly converts its American version to gluten free oats brown in dedicated fields and processing facilities. Try it and it's decent. (CAUTION: some celiacs have a reaction to oats themselves regardless of any cross-contamination. I, however, am not one of them.) Become mostly fully converted to oat milk but still keep ordering almond milk when I get an iced coffee because Dunkin and the anarchist coffee shop/bookstore never label which brand of oat milk they use and you're a millennial and despise phone calls

Thirty: Planet Oats is a bit cheaper so I try it on a lark and like it better. Be bummed that it comes in a smaller carton that Oatly and thus is more expensive in the long run. Start putting oat milk in my oatmeal and have a religious crisis because it seems like a decadent and cardinal sin. Remember I'm an atheist and it's okay to be a lil hedonistic and perverse esp where food is concerned

Nearly thirty-one: realize halfway in making this post that it's entirely boring and pointless and is too long for such an uninteresting subject but goddammit I've sunk the cost and will finish this stupid post.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello there! Might I have a genshin matchup, if it’s not too much trouble?

My name is Emily (she/her) and I’m a lesbian, though if you think about platonically matching me with a male character, I would not mind. My Zodiac sign is Capricorn and last I checked, my MBTI is INFP, the mediator.

Appearance wise, I’m roughly 5’6 and have a pudgy baby face, wavy dark blonde hair (that’s quite soft!), almond shaped brown eyes with shadows underneath that I can never seem to get rid of, thick thighs, pale skin, and moles scattered all over my body. I do not wear makeup and the most I will put on if I feel like it is some mascara. I typically clothing shop in the men’s section and tend to wear comfy, casual stuff like jeans/sweatpants and flannels/hoodies.

Personality: the first word most people use to describe me is quiet. I’ve been told that I’m sweet, funny, easygoing, loyal, idealistic, loving, and warm. I’m quite laidback and it takes a lot to rile me, but I am passionate about certain things. I do suffer from depression and social anxiety, though I do try to hide present symptoms to avoid worrying those close to me.

I love having time to myself to read a good book, research things that interest me (mainly history related), play video games with a good story or pretty art, or catch up on sleep. I do enjoy a good beer as well. I also love learning about history and law. I recently graduated with a degree in English and creative writing, and a minor in archaeology! If I like someone, romantic or not, my giving love language is acts of service, which manifests in cooking/baking meals and treats. My receiving love language is physical touch (I am extremely touch starved and love hugs/massages/having my hair played with)

I heavily dislike people being pushy (I work in customer service🙃), loud noises, guns, bigotry, hypocrisy, and ignorance. I do have a bit of androphobia (fear of men), so even though I will strike up friendships with some, I despise being touched by men.

Were I to be a character in Genshin with a Vision, I’d like to be a Hydro swordswoman from Fontaine😊

Hi Emily! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I decided to give you a romantic and platonic matchup. I hope you like your matchups!

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

You and Jean are a good match for each other. You're quite different but you balance each other out well, striking a good mix of easygoingness and organisation.

Loves it when you make lunch or snacks for her to have at work. She enjoys your cooking and it's something she can look forward to when she's having a particularly tough day.

Jean's reasonably good with physical touch as well. She's not overly into PDA but behind closed doors she's happy to give you as much affection as you want, whether that's hand holding, hugs, head pats, or anything else.

There's nothing quite like a relaxing drink at the Angel's Share after a long day of work. I see Jean as someone who enjoys a good beer as well so when you go out together, you can take turns shouting the other their drink.

She does have her moment where she can be pushy but that's more a side effect of her position in the Knights of Favonius. She always doe she best to leave that role at work and just be Jean when she's with you.

In Genshin Impact, I platonically match you with...

I know you mentioned disliking men but I felt like Alhaitham would be a good platonic matchup for you. He's pretty quiet and okay with his own company so he's more than willing to spend as much or as little time with you as you want.

He does enjoy reading with you though. Usually he likes solitude while reading but if you're a quiet reader, he's happy to sit near you while you enjoy your own books.

I think he would like talking about what you've been reading as well. Swapping and comparing books is a good way to pass the time and gain an understanding of books you haven't got around to reading as well.

Alhaitham doesn't strike me as some who's a huge foodie but he does enjoy your cooking if you share it with him. He thinks you're quite skilled at combining flavours into something both you and he will enjoy.

He's quite observant so I think he would see through you and notice your anxiety and depression soon after meeting you. He'll do his best to subtly check in on you and make sure you're doing okay.

[bunniis-w0rld]

things that have helped me lose 4kg in 2 weeks<3

every day im seeing the scale drop slightly, and changes in my body by doing these things. im no good with discipline or motivation so i try to keep it simple!

no food until 1-3pm (depends on if im at work or not) i also dont eat past 10pm (usually earlier) so im fasting for 15-17+ hours a day, without even really thinking about it because i keep myself busy during the day

3L of water a day! can not stress this enough. the only other drinks im allowed are black americano or espresso, herbal tea, or diet coke as a treat a few times a week (it makes me bloated so i try to avoid)

eat sauerkraut every day, with my first meal. this can apply to any fermented dish, but sauerkraut is my favourite. it is full of probiotics that can help with digestion and is yummy for 15cals/100g

on work days i omad (300-400cals) and a small snack of whatever im craving if i am still hungry (100-200cals). when i am home i eat lunch and dinner, (200cals each) and a small snack of whatever i am craving (100-200cals). i do not count properly, i like to overestimate everything so even if i reach my limit of 800cals i am often closer to 600

i don't properly work out, but i do 25 squats whenever i go to the bathroom, 200 arm circles in the shower and 100 sit ups any time im alone. this is easy to stick to for me because im terrible with consistency

i try to walk a lot. i have terrible joints but i aim to go on a walk every day, normally between 8k-12k steps

stay out of the kitchen. when im not around food im not thinking about food.

steamed/boiled veg with every meal. i like my meals to be mostly warm, and low cal veg like bok choi, spinach, daikon radish etc. are my favs, also high in fibre makes it more filling

liquid fast 24hrs 1-3 days a week

don't over complicate your meals. i eat a variation of the same meal basically every day, giving yourself too many options can be overwhelming and lead to a binge. i will have an egg with sauerkraut and steamed veg for breakfast, and for dinner i have an egg or tofu, with some kind of steamed veg or salad, and 1/3 boiled sweet potato (if im really hungry) for dinner. this also saves me a lot of money as a little bonus.

i do the same with my snack options. i will have berries, with or without 0% fat greek yogurt. some kind of veg like bell pepper or cucumber, with cream cheese. a small portion of chocolate if i want something sweet. that's about it.

chew your food properly, and eat slowly. im talking 45-60mins to eat a single meal. helps with digestion

if you feel like giving up give yourself a number of days to stick to your plan, and maybe set a realistic goal within that time, such as losing 2-4kg in 15 days. tell yourself that after this time, you are free to give up and binge or whatever, but you must stick to the plan 100%. by the time it is over, you will be satisfied with the results and want to continue.

most importantly, just dont give up. you will have good days and bad days but overall if you continue you will make progress. i have slipped up and binged 1500~ calories twice, and am still seeing progress. the bad days do not define your journey and you will reach your goals if you do your best

[cottoncandysecretlair]

I remember when I was a kid, this is around when I was 8-10 years old, my parents would ban me from eating the things I liked because they thought that would make me eat less, and ultimately make me skinny.

But that kept backfiring. I was a kid that, with a few exceptions, just really liked food. Green veggies weren't an issue, asparagus and green beans were outright treats for me. I adored fruit and would reach for it before candy and sweets.

So like, they just kept paring down my "permitted" meals to be less and less appealing. "You can't have bread on your sandwiches anymore, use these healthy wraps with veggies" and I would fall in love with the spinach and sundried tomato flavored wraps.

"No mayo or mustard, you can use oil and vinegar" and I proceeded to do that happily because I liked the sour taste of vinegar.

"You can only use one thin sliced piece of meat, the rest has to be veggies" and I had no problem making my wrap essentially a salad wrap with a little vinegar and the meat permitted to me.

"No more meat. No more oil and vinegar. You can only put beansprouts and a spoon of hummus in your wraps." I think they were sure I would hate hummus, but I actually ended up loving it. I wasn't huge on the beansprouts, but I still had hummus and the wrap I liked, and I didn't dislike them any more than cabbage.

After that didn't work, they made the size of wrap I was allowed to bring smaller and smaller and smaller. I remember looking at other kids during lunch, with my quarter of a beansprout wrap and little bottle of water, while my peers ate full lunches. I wasn't allowed to bring a piece of fruit, too much sugar.

Just the way it weighs on you sitting there, eating barely anything, knowing I wouldn't get a snack after school like my peers did, that this is all I had to eat til dinner, when my parents would serve me a plate that matches the amount of food I gave preschoolers for lunch when I worked with kids... And being able to see that I'm the fat kid, I'm bigger than anyone else here... But I'm also the kid that had never had a little Debbie cake, that never had snacks, never allowed to drink anything but water. And I felt like my parents must be right. I mean, I was always hungry! Clearly that means I was a fat pig and this was for my own good!

It wasn't long after that they told me that eating lunch at all was bad for me, that I'm already too big so I should just skip it.

I couldn't get away from how different I was from everyone else. I remember getting to hang out at a friend's house and the ordered food, and they asked my (8 y/o) friend what they'd like to get from the restaurant. That was shocking enough, but then they asked *me.* My father didn't start allowing me to pick my own meals til I was 16 years old, and even then if I didn't pick something he approved of he would still pick for me anyway.

They never took me to the doctor over this. To find out why I was the fat kid despite obediently under eating. They waited until I was 14 and started yelling at me to get it checked out. They would never tell me insurance info so I could find someone to go to though. I was clearly "adult enough" by then so I guess I was supposed to just know what to do and who to call by then.

I guess that's a lie, that I obediently underate. I did but mostly because that's the only option I had. I felt like it was my fault I hadn't made any progress? Why? Because when the church they sent me to had a pizza party, I ate so much so fast that I vomited. And then I went back out to eat more because these chances were rare. I didn't know that this was normal behavior for a kid being treated like I was, once again I thought it justified my parents, that I was a fat uncontrollable cow unless they intervened.

Every time I was in an environment where I was offered food, I overate to the point of making myself sick. Of course, no one worried or thought it was weird. I mean. I was the fat kid right? Of course I had no self control.

If I'm honest, I believed them totally and completely until an experience I had when I was 15. I got into a free academic summer program where I got to stay on a local college campus during the summer with other kids my age.

The meals were all buffet style, all you can eat, and I wouldn't even see my parents for weeks. On top of that, it was very active with a lot of walking, so I'd be using more energy too.

So I ate a lot. I made myself sick the first night, like I usually do. But despite that, there was just as much breakfast the next morning. And just as much lunch. And just as much dinner.

I still had to fight off my shame. Even when I calmed down and stopped making myself sick, and ate only til I was full, it was double if not 3x what my parents would permit me to eat. I felt disgusting every meal, but that primal part of my brain that knew it wouldn't last still pushed me to eat my fill.

At the end of that summer, for the first time in my life, despite being left fully to my own devices with no guidance on my eating habits, I'd lost weight.

And that's when it dawned on me. Years and years of feeling constantly hungry. Constantly exhausted. Using the energy I had to get good grades at school then crashing afterwards. Wondering why I never felt good. And then all of that going away within a week of being away from them and eating what I wanted.

That started to open my eyes to the fact that they'd been wrong. That what they'd been telling me to do wasn't good for my body.

It feels terrible to say, but after that I started stealing money from my father. He kept a lot of cash on him, would just have 800 bucks in his pocket. So I'd slip a 10 or 20 here and there. I'd skip class and walk down to the dollar store, stock up on shelf stable foods, then hide them in my room at home.

I'm not pretending that saltines, peanut butter, and canned ravioli were good things to be so prominent in my diet, but I did feel so much better once I started doing that.

It's silly to make this post. I saw something on twitter where people were being weird about kids asking for food, and I kinda went on a journey.

I've never really met anyone who's upbringing around food was like mine. That's a good thing, it's an awful thing to do to a kid.

But it does feel very lonely.

[past-j]

And finally I will say that even after eating out multiple meals and drinking a metric ton of alcohol this weekend, I somehow still stayed below the weight loss goal that I met last week, and was actually at a lower weight than before the weekend. I was expecting to be above the goal weight after this weekend. Also i say "somehow" but tbh I know exactly how I did it.

- i bought a bunch of fruit to share with friends in the car on the way to party. Felt healthy but idk if it contributed directly to these goals

- when we were in a hurry and my bf got mcdonalds, i went to the cafe next door and got a healthier sandwich and some fruit

- i got full at a restaurant and took leftovers home to eat for dinner the next day instead of trying to keep eating

- i didnt get the munchies and binge on snacks

- i got a 6 inch sandwich instead of a footlong for lunch yesterday

- and i stayed active and busy by having fun!

My point is that its so fun to fully live my life and continue to lose weight through consistently listening to my body, staying active, and making the healthiER choice (when I want to 🤪)

I'm getting back to scheduled programming today though. I just got groceries to prep stew for the week + some healthy frozen options + my fav protein drinks as a treat (chai protein from Trader Joes). Going for a nice long walk after work, cooking the stew, then doing stretching & strengthening exercises while watching something on my tv. Its a very chill soft life approach but still, i'm disciplined about taking care of myself.

I'm actually having a very enjoyable weight loss journey now that my relationship with food is solid. I truly believe that this is the time it sticks. I can have fun and enjoy life WHILE being intentional about food and losing weight! And that might just be the key to all of this.

[six-of-ravens]

im procrastinating dishes so time to make a cheeseballs self improvement post:

in September I made progress on unfucking my sleeping schedule, started doing hobbies more regularly including writing, and developed a basic skincare routine that's actually working. excellent progress!

goals for October/the rest of winter are to continue with those and also add some new things (not sure if I'll stick with all of them, but I want to see how much I can do and some of them are as simple as "don't buy that thing" so):

start waking up at 7:15 instead of 7:30 on office days (goal is eventually to wake up at 7, which will give me plenty of extra time during the winter when traffic is shitty) and 8 instead of as close to 9 as I can get on WFH days. don't need to get out of bed at 8, just be awake, bc stumbling to the computer bleary-eyed is a horrible way to start the day, shockingly. also start going to bed by 12 on WFH/weekend nights.

go on an Unnecessary/Impulse Spending Ban, with a few caveats: i can spend money on ✨ experiences✨ like tickets to a show or park or whatever, i can buy ✨fancy✨ food from the farmers market or cocktail supplies as long as I have a recipe planned for it, I can treat myself to lunch/coffee on Fridays (that's my motivation to go for a walk lol) and my Thursday Final Office Day PSL Treat, I can buy gifts/make donations, annnnd I can buy up to 3 "hobby items" per month, ie. a book, DVD, puzzle/miniature kit, wool, etc. but ONLY 3 items, not 3 trips to the store *glares at my inner child*. If I REALLY REALLY want an Unnecessary Item I need to come up with a good, real reason why I need it, and none of them can be "because I want it" or "I'm sad and need a pick-me-up." or "I need to kill time so I'll go into the bookstore whoops now I have an armful of new releases!"

start meal planning for once in my life. I've never really done it, aside from that time a couple years ago when I was making 1 recipe a week to replace my takeout habit lol. I need to reduce my grocery bill and food waste though so if I have a list of staples I always keep in stock and then plan what recipes I want to make on what days it'll be easier to only buy what I need. currently I just like, write "veg x3" on my grocery list and then buy 5 random vegetables bc I have no plan and think I need more, and eat maybe half of them.....

in addition to that: make a list of recipes I want to make this fall/winter (both old favourites and new ones) and plan to make one special cooking and one baking thing per week, in addition to a simpler recipe Tuesday night so I can eat leftovers Weds/Thurs and something I can freeze for lunches. currently trying to map out a schedule for this since sadly I think I am a Schedule Girlie and if I don't have one I simply Won't do the thing. Also while my freezer is not very big, I think I can make/freeze 2-3 weeks of lunches (about 9 tupperwares) so I might start doing what my aunt does and batch-cooking those instead of scrambling to make lunch every week

annnnd also to reduce my grocery bill, stop buying random vitamin water/iced tea/sparkling water/whatever. the silly little drink culture in this household is getting out of control and the cost is adding up even if I do buy sale stuff. Instead I'm gonna try and make more coffee/hot chocolate/tea....and drink more water. I am badly dehydrated. The one caveat is alcohol, since I don't buy a whole lot of it and it's a weekend treat rather than a daily indulgence. Also my Princess Bride cookbook has a bunch of cocktail recipes I want to try so I'm going to make some of those for fun.

another food based one, but I want to also stop buying so much junk food, particularly chips, and try making my own snacks/desserts more often. Basically my Silly Little Treats recently have been junk food-based and it's starting to just become a habit and not a treat I'm actually excited about, so it's time to try something new (and healthier bc hooo boy between the all the butter pasta, sweet drinks, and chips, I'm going to die of heart disease at 35)

on that note: try and develop an exercise habit. much like my writing one, my goal is 5 days a week, and I can take up to 2 days off but not in a row. any exercise is good (walk, exercise bike, yoga, whatever) right now, but I'm hoping to refine my goals in the future when I find what makes me feel the best. I would like to start forcing myself to go for a walk on at least one office day as long as the weather is good. maybe I'll do that Thursday at lunch and then I can buy my Reward PSL.....

actually *finish* a craft before starting a new one, especially when it comes to knitting. visiting my grandma reminded me that knitting and crochet can be super basic and still rewarding! she's knitted a whole garbage bag of baby hats/blankets/swaddlers, toques, and scarves to donate to charity (baby stuff to the hospital and the rest to a shelter) and like. yeah it's all basic with no fancy patterns or colorwork or whatever but it's *done*. i need to step back with that hobby and just focus on finishing things while learning the basics instead of lusting after everyone's gorgeous sweaters lol.

not really a goal but a change: going to try alternating 1 new book/series with 1 reread going forward, so I stop feeling FOMO for whatever I'm not reading at the moment lol

Lock the amount of time I'm allowed to use my social apps/news app at 3 hours (which I think I can do with the StayFree app). that should be plenty of time to keep up with things and prevent me from doing what I'm doing now which is spending almost a full hour blathering.

Anyway, yeah. Trying to use the delicious fall season as a springboard into better eating habits, spend less specifically on impulse buys I'm making bc I'm bored/depressed/anxious, and continue to do more hobbies and Self Care better.

[bundracky]

Summer Recap: July 2024 ♡

Hello my dear Vampunnies!

Here is the next part of my summer recap blogs. This time I'll be covering my visit to Los Angeles for Anime Expo 2024!

This post includes my experience with working at AX for the first time, my favorite parts of the con this year, visiting WeHo and Little Tokyo, & more!

Read all about it under the cut, and maybe grab a snack or a beverage because this one's a long one...

July 2024

AX 2024 - Day 0 (July 3)

I decided to attend AX totally last minute, so on Day 0 I had to pick up my badge from the venue-- the Los Angeles Convention Center. It was actually a pretty quick and easy process, and I liked being able to snap a couple pics of the outside of the venue before all the crowds arrived the next day. As a huge Dragon Ball fan, I personally loved seeing Sparking! ZERO having a giant ad this year! Zenless Zone Zero ads were also present around the area, and really fit the LA vibe.

Since I wanted to make the most of the day, I decided to visit WeHo with a friend! We went to Bottega Louie for lunch, which is honestly one of my favorite restaurants in LA. Their Italian cream soda is so good, especially when dealing with the summer heat! This time I got the vanilla one~

Lunch for the day was the carbonara with chicken, and I shared a pepperoni pizza and a side of portobello fries with my friend! It was so delicious! (I'm getting hungry while reminiscing about this...) For dessert we shared a Celebration cake, which is a vanilla cake with cotton candy mousse, strawberry marmalade, and topped with vanilla macarons! I also purchased a box of macarons to eat at home later, because of course I did. Truly a decadent meal, but I really wanted to treat myself since I was in the area for AX and knew I'd be busy with other things soon!

Before heading back for the day, I also visited the Glossier store which is always a must when I'm in the area. If you haven't been to a Glossier store before, it's a very cute and aesthetic experience, because well, it's Glossier. I ended up getting a Lavender Balm Dot Com, since I haven't bought one in so long. (Thank god they finally reverted back to the OG formula... if you know, you know.) Unfortunately we got there a little too late to get a drink at Alfred's, but there's always next time~

AX 2024 - Day 1 (July 4)

This year, I was hired by Sekai Project to work at their booth in the Exhibit Hall! Sekai Project works on the English localization for a lot of visual novels, such as Nekopara and Amairo Chocolate! They were selling a lot of cute goods this year, including the Chocola and Vanilla Hangers, and Amairo Chocolate tapestries and acrylic stands!

I arrived at the venue around 6:30 am to help set up their booth, and seeing exhibition hall quiet and chill before the crowds was pretty neat! My boss was really nice and let me roam around after for a bit to check out some of the booths I wanted freebies from before the crowds rolled in ^^ Also, as my "tutorial" sale on the POS, I was able to buy a Chocola hanger ahead of time as I knew those would be a hot commodity~

It was honestly a really fun experience, I really enjoyed interacting with customers and talking about the games! Actually, the first customer of the entire con was a father who ran to our booth and had a long shopping list from their daughter! It was really sweet and I'm glad I was able to make sure he got everything for her~ Another customer that made an impression on me was someone who bought one of each Amairo Chocolate acrylic stand, and while I was ringing them up, we also chatted about Shiratama's art and Jewelry Hearts Academia, which was pretty awesome.

After my shift was over, I visited the ATLUS booth because I wanted to get the giant Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance totebag! The booth activity was taking a picture with their Qaditsu cosplayers, who looked absolutely amazing! I've attached a photo of the cosplayers from the official Twitter since I don't want to post my personal one, but it was a really great experience!! I also picked up a Jack Frost mobile accessory set from the ATLUS shop as it was part of their Japan imports for the ATLUS 35th anniversary~

Before going home, I passed by Philz Coffee and got a Mint Mojito iced coffee which was a great pick me up after a long day!

AX 2024 - Day 2 (July 5)

One of the highly sought after freebies this year was definitely this Firefly/SAM giant totebag. Of course, Honkai: Star Rail being the hit game that it is, plus Firefly being a fan favorite, a lot of people wanted it. I really wanted to get one for my friend, who is a Firefly oshi, and wanted to do the stamp rally for the other freebies for myself. So, I lined up super, super early just to be in front of the line into the Entertainment Hall where the Hoyoverse booth was located.

Now, for reference, the hall opened at 9 AM. The line for the Hoyoverse booth capped at 9:03 AM. Unfortunately, the staff did not respect the line, and gave away all their bags to the blob of a crowd that was pooling around their booth that were absolutely feral over this thing. Despite not being able to get the bag, I figured I might as well stick around for the booth activities anyway since I was practically at the front of the line.

The first activity was writing a sticky note of your "dream" related to Penacony or something, and I think I just wrote E6 Acheron LOL. The next activity was taking pictures with the March 7th and Stelle cosplayers who were super cute! And the next one was voting in some sort of character popularity contest with the "Stellar Jade" they would give you. Acheron had the most Stellar Jades in her jar. (slay)

After the booth activities, I wanted to purchase some Honkai Impact 3rd goods after, but I guess this year it was also being sold with the Star Rail stuff... which the line for merch also capped.... soooo I was like, okay, I'm just going to go around for a bit instead and try my luck around noon.

One of my other friends requested I buy them a few things from the Cygames booth, so I got that shopping done, and stuck around to play the Granblue Fantasy: Relink demo (Lancelot my beloved <3) as well as the Uma Musume: Pretty Derby - Party Dash demo with one of my friends who found me! Cygames had a lot of cute freebies, and I swear to god, I know nothing of the horse girls, but the freebies are so dang cute it actually makes me want to get into it LOL.

Some other highlights for me was seeing the NIS America booth and saw a very early build of the new Phantom Brave game and Reynatis! I also loved the Kotobukiya Bishoujo exhibit with all their different figures throughout the years. (Which by the way, I have the new Sadako one preordered~) I think I also visited the Blue Archive and Arknights booths to pick up things for friends around this time too.

Around noon, I was back at the merch line for Hoyoverse, and thankfully, I was able to get in! Now this is where I feel rather lucky. I ended up getting an adorable badge set of the Herrscher trio, which I feel like was dead stock in some Mihoyo warehouse. I also got the very last set of Mei's Stigmata badges, which may be out of print? I'm not sure.

As I was in line to check out, the person in front of me asked the cashier for a Firefly/SAM bag. And he was able to get one?! So I also asked when I was up front and she was super nice and also gave me one. So, it all worked out! I'm glad I decided to spend money that day lmao.

With a skip in my step, I spent the rest of the day pretty leisurely with my bestie who I met up with after. We did the Persona 3, Project Sekai, and some other random booth activities to pass the time for an exciting panel I was looking forward to~ Oh yeah, I also came across Nerissa Ravencroft's acrylic stand at a Hololive booth, and decided to pick it up since it has been on my wish list for some time, and it was there, so might as well.

So, what was the panel that I was looking forward to? Well, seeing Aniplex's Twisted Wonderland talk show with Silver's seiyuu, AKA MY FAVE TWST CHARACTER AND MY #1 FAVORITE MALE SEIYUU, Nobunaga Shimazaki!! He was so cute and sweet in person, I'm really glad I was able to make it!! ^w^

After that, I briefly went on a mission to Artist Alley to pick up something for another friend, as well as visit one of my favorite artists, BOMHAT, to purchase some stickers for myself! I have a few of their goods from a previous AX, and really liked them so I had to buy more! And with that, Day 2 complete!

... Or so I thought. I had plans with my bestie to cry about how stressful AX was over dinner. We were both exhausted after Day 2 and were really looking forward to getting food together. One of my other friends who was driving my car for the day went to Little Tokyo early, and was going to pick us up when we were ready to go meet up for dinner. Well, come to find out, my car battery died in the Little Tokyo parking garage... thankfully, my bestie's mom is super nice and picked us both up and dropped me off in Little Tokyo to figure out the situation.

I am so very lucky to have such sweet friends, as a different friend of mine offered to swing by after work to help jump start my car. While waiting for them to arrive, I got dinner to soothe my weary soul after such a crazy day.

While my friends were jump starting my car, a kind stranger also came by to help make sure they were doing it correctly, and all was well afterwards! I was able to drive home safe and sound!

AX 2024 - Day 4 (July 7)

For the final day of AX, there was only one more thing I really wanted to do: visit the NIKKE booth! I haven't mentioned it yet for a reason-- it was also a very crowded booth. It was managed a little better by having a virtual queue... However, to get into that virtual queue, you had to be there at the very beginning of the day to check in. It was pretty hectic with everyone shoving each other, trying to scan the QR code from one of the staff's clipboards, but I successfully got in!

While waiting for my turn, I went back to the Project Sekai booth because I really wanted to do more freebie card pulls trying to get Ena and Toya. I ended up being super lucky and getting both of them!! Afterwards, I also played the demo for Dragon Ball: Sparking! ZERO, which is a game I am so hyped for!

I returned shortly after to finally do the NIKKE booth activities. The booth was themed after the in-game summer event Beauty Full Shot! The first activity was of course, making sure you followed the game on social media. Next was a bean bag toss themed around fighting against the Raptures, which was pretty cute. Then you could take a photo with the cosplayers, which I opted to have this really cute Viper cosplayer (LoveHimeKing) pose with my little Alice acrylic block I had with me.

Sadly, since I got there Day 4, they sold out of the bigger freebie prizes. But, I still got the commemorative giant gift bag featuring Crown and Modernia! I love those two, so I'm not mad at all~ I also got a little blind bag magnet with Dorothy, which is super cute, and I actually have her displayed on my magnet board on my desk right now!

And as my personal tradition, I got celebratory In-N-Out for surviving another anime convention. This is like the most unaesthetic photo I'll ever post, but it's the proof of my victory!!

Post-AX Shenanigans

Later in July, once all the tourists have gone home, and I was rested from the hectic Anime Expo season, I went back to LA to properly visit Little Tokyo!

Before my activities for the day, I passed by one of my favorite bakeries, Okayama Kobo, for brunch~ I got a yakisoba-pan and my favorite drink from them, the banana creme matcha latte!

After brunch, I visited Sora Gumi's Little Tokyo store, as they had a NIKKE pop-up with a summer themed photo booth. You got to shoot a photo with your summer event Nikke of choice, so I picked my favorite of them, Sakura! I also brought my silly Alice plushie with me to take photos with. It was a really cute experience!

And lastly, I had a reservation with a friend for the Akiba Maid War pop-up Maid Cafe! I remember watching the anime when it first came out, and really enjoyed it with how ridiculous it was (in a good way). I totally had to come to this pop-up!

The Oinky Doink Cafe theme was well implemented-- instead of the usual 'moe moe kyun' fare we did some incantations with the syllables of 'tontokoton' to remove the poison that rival maid cafes put in our sodas or something. Just another day at the Oinky Doink Cafe, really.

We also got ice cream topped with a cookie with Ranko on it. I couldn't bear to eat her face so I tried to just eat around her! >.< Overall I had a great experience (shoutout to Maid Aki) and am happy we're getting more fun pop-ups out here.

And that was my Anime Expo experience in July! If you've never been to an Anime Expo before, I hope my war story gave you a glimpse of some of the craziness of that anime convention. When it comes to AX, you just learn to love to hate it, and hate to love it.

Anyway, thank you for reading if you got this far! Next post will be the last part of my summer recap series! Until next time~

[dykeskeleton]

todays #zzzz

i ate a little bit more at dinner bc i knew i was going to be working out a second time and i honestly had no idea what to make besides something higher in cals. breakfast was overnight oats (335) and protein coffee (151) which is higher than i usually go for breakfast but i worked out pretty hard this morning and the oats were SO yummy and kept me full for most of the day; lunch was a tuna wrap (126) string cheese (50) grapes (48) and a coke zero; a snack was a piece of dark chocolate (42) and i added a splash of 0 sugar creamer to the last bit of my coke (15) which i’d seen people do and say it was ok and it wasn’t too bad!! it was a little too sweet for me but tbh i could’ve used less creamer since i didn’t have that much coke left, it was a nice dessert kind of treat and i will probably have it again; dinner was a protein white cheddar mac with barbecue chicken (362) and it was soooo hard to not go back for seconds but i managed 💙

overall i’m not entirely thrilled with my total count today even though the net is a pretty nice number…. if i hadn’t been so indecisive i probably could’ve stopped myself from having dinner and had a net of less than 100 but i guess it’s better than going over. i still haven’t weighed myself yet, i’m waiting until monday, but i’m kind of scared tbh. if i’m more than 180 i’m going to have a panic attack i think lmao

good night everyone 💙 stay safe and drink water !