#trans thoughts today folks

[captain-k8kat]

God....I want to be a boy...

[cosmic-muses]

God I love being visibly gayer. I've got my new cute haircut, painted nails, pride pins and patches, cute clothes, and just... aaaaa :3

It's nice to feel like me, y'know?

[poems-of-a-lover]

want a guy whos interested in learning about me as a person. i want a boyfriend whos my best friend.

[transbookoftheday]

Trans Horror Podcasts

My post about trans horror books last year was much more popular than I expected, and since I've recently fallen in love with fiction podcasts and audio dramas, I thought I'd make a post about trans horror podcasts as well.

If you like trans horror, please give these a try - especially if you enjoy listening to audiobooks!

Hello From The Hallowoods:

Come walk between the black pines! In this award-winning queer fiction podcast, an eldritch narrator follows the increasingly connected residents of the forest at the end of the world. It's a bittersweet story that explores queer identity, horror genre tropes, and finding hope in humanity's last moments.

Hello From The Hallowoods is my absolute favorite podcast! If you only listen to one podcast from this list, please make it this one - it's so beautifully written and super queer! Also: season 4 starts today!

Trans main characters include:

our nonbinary eye-affiliated podcast host

a nonbinary "Frankenstein's creature"

a transmasc ghost

a genderfluid storm witch

a trans woman who can visit other people's dreams

multiple characters using neopronouns

Camp Here & There:

Good morning, campers! Camp Here & There is a weekly horror comedy podcast tuned in to the loudspeakers of a small midwestern sleepaway camp plagued by supernatural terrors and natural disasters. Sydney Sargent, resident camp nurse, cheerfully reports on all the terror we must face with a big smile. Let’s hope there’s nothing weird about that!

Sydney is a trans man.

Dos: After You:

Things have changed. Deck has fallen in love with someone who isn't human, and leaves a hungry house behind to see him again. Will he be waiting for you? The world has changed… but what about him? Dos: After You is a queer urban fantasy/horror audiodrama available in both English & Spanish

Deck is a trans man.

Jar of Rebuke:

Follow Dr. Jared Hel's journey as he works to re-discover his forgotten past and finds his place within the small Indiana farm town of Wichton and the cryptozoological organization he works for called 'The Enclosure'. These audio journals, and other recordings, dive deep into Midwestern US cryptids and folklore while also telling a mystery about identity, queerness, neurodivergence, and community.

Jared is nonbinary.

Spirit Box Radio:

Spirit Box Radio is an award winning, horror audio drama podcast about a radio show for enthusiasts of all things arcane. Follow Sam Enfield a former postboy with no experience in the arcane arts, who finds themselves forced to take over running the show, following the disappearance of the previous host. Sam soon discovers there are more than ghosts haunting the show, and finds himself amidst a mystery which threatens everything he knows about the world beyond his tiny basement broadcast studio, and maybe even himself.

Sam is a trans man.

The Silt Verses:

Carpenter and Faulkner, two worshippers of an outlawed god, travel up the length of their deity’s great black river, searching for holy revelations amongst the reeds and the wetlands. As their pilgrimage lengthens and the river’s mysteries deepen, the two acolytes find themselves under threat from a police manhunt, but also come into conflict with the weirder gods that have flourished in these forgotten rural territories. This is a world where divine intervention takes place through prayer-markings scratched into stumping-posts, and offerings are left squirming to die in the flats of the delta. This is a world of ritual, and hidden language, and sacrifice. This is folk horror, and fantasy, and a dark road trip into the depths of unusual faith.

Faulkner is a trans man and Paige is a trans woman.

The Magnus Protocol:

The Magnus Archives 2: The Magnus Protocol is the prequel/sequel/”sidequel” to the internationally renowned Magnus Archives podcast. The Magnus Institute was an organisation dedicated to academic research into the esoteric and the paranormal, based out of Manchester, England. It burned to the ground in 1999. There were no survivors. Now, almost 25 years later, Alice and Sam, a pair of low-level civil service workers at the underfunded Office of Incident Assessment and Response, have stumbled across its legacy. A legacy that will put them in grave danger. If this intrigues you then it is our pleasure to welcome you to the Office of Incident, Assessment and Response. Make sure you pick up your badge at desk and report to your line manager before sitting down. Oh and stay away from I.T., seriously.

Alice is a trans woman.

[nothorses]

https://www.tumblr.com/rq-lif3styl3s/752949689078431744/bahhahahagaggag

Yeah okay, I've got juice in the tank for this one.

So, for anyone who doesn't wanna click links from anons, this is a link to a post about "transracial" and "trans-abled" people. Specifically, this post is arguig that transracial and transabled people Are Valid.

I mostly see people dismiss these ideas as obviously wrong and shitty rather than actually engaging with them, and like, fair. But I have the energy right now, so fuck it. Let's learn!

The thesis of this post is "gender, race, and ability are all basically the same, so being trans-gender/racial/abled is all the same." I think this demonstrates a fundamental lack of understanding of all of these concepts, and frankly, I think this is a deeply incurious way of thinking.

This person clearly has at least a surface-level understanding of transgender theory, and they've gone ahead and applied that understanding to everything else without doing any deeper thinking or learning. That sucks. Gender, race, and dis/ability status are all very much social constructs on which systems of oppression are based, but these are social constructs with very different histories and frameworks.

For example: pretty much every culture has had some concept of "gender"- most of them resembling the "male/female" binary we're familiar with today- since time immemorial. Gender roles are fluid with time and culture, and trans identities (and even culturally-sanctioned gender roles/terms) have also been present as long as gender itself has. Gender in various cultures has not always been a construct on which systems of oppression are based, nor is that system of oppression always a patriarchy.

"Race", by contrast, is a concept that sprung up in the 17th century as a justification for colonization and slavery.

Another example: "Disability" is a more modern term, mostly referring to a system of power and one's position in it. There have always been disabled people, but they haven't always been thought of as disabled, and a lot of things we consider "disabilities" in our present culture weren't always thought of as disabling (i.e. pathologized). A lot of things that are disabling are also not thought of as "real disabilities", and a lot of people who are disabled don't think of themselves- and thus are not thought of- as "disabled". It's fluid in a very different way than gender is fluid.

Racial identity is also fluid for very different reasons than the others: a lot of the reasons someone might experience fluidity in their racial identity have to do with their context, and their individual relationship to white supremacist power and oppression.

I don't think there's anything wrong with acknowledging or exploring the overlap between these things; I personally am super interested in the overlap between cissexism and ableism, and I've explored it a lot in the last couple of years of schooling! Medicalization and pathologization, medical needs and gatekeeping, the understanding of bodies as "natural" and "pure" vs. "unnatural" and "disfigured"- it's all fascinating.

But learning more reveals a lot of differences between gender and transgender folks- things that are entangled with power, but do and have existed separate of power- versus race and disability, which describe relationships to systems of power on a very fundamental level.

It's a mistake to ignore the differences like this, and it reveals more ignorance than anything. Learn about the histories, complexities, studied frameworks, and lived experiences of trans people, disabled people, and people of color! Learn about what makes us similar, and what makes us different! Learn about the issues unique to each of us, and the conversations we're having about theory and systems of oppression!

I'm here for the inclusive mindset, and also, like, there's a reason people treat these things differently. Please learn.

[amongussexgif]

Howdy folks. I’ve said I’d make a rant about this for a while. It’s time.

Let’s start with the basics. Mesopomatia is the earliest known human civilization. Humans existed before them, but this was the first “city”. They also made the first writing. This rant also kinda covers Sumerian tuff, because the two groups had a bit of a merging.

You know what transgenderism is. You’re on tumblr dot com. Chances are you are a transgenderist yourself

Transphobes often say that transgenderism is a “new concept” and that “nobody was trans 20 years ago”. For the record, you don’t have to go as far back as Mesopotamia. There’s Greece, Egypt, Hawaii, and tons of others I fail to remember. But yeah, we date back to The First City.

The First People believed in many gods, one of which you’ve likely heard of. Today’s subject: Inanna/Ishtar, The Queen of Heaven (I’ll be calling her Inanna, as it’s her original name). She was the goddess of Sex, War, and Justice. The most notable things she was believed to do were changing people’s genders and being an absolute queen. Like fr she slayed-

Anyways, the “transgender power” as I’m gonna call it because it's funny, is well documented in poetry fragments, with the direct quote “To turn a man into a woman and a woman into a man are yours, Inanna.” This was written by Enheduanna, Inanna’s High Priestess from Ur (Ur is a city).

Speaking of Inanna’s Priests and Priestesses, they were actually known for their androgyny. Poems and Dedications to Inanna often included them, with the direct depiction of the goddess transfer-ify-ing them. It’s unknown if these and the Gala are the same priests, so I’ll add a little space and talk about them for a bit.

The Gala were priestesses for Inanna created by the god Enki (who is really fuckign cool for non-trans reasons (might talk about him sometime)) to sing for her. Mourning Rites previously sung by women got taken over by the Gala, and as men joined, they adopted ALL societal roles and expectations of women, switching to female names and singing in the Sumerian eme-sal dialect, which was reserved for women trying to render the speech of female gods. The Gala looked after the sick and poor, and were highly respected by the rest of the Mesopotamian peoples.

Time to talk about the Pilipili! They were a group of cultic performers who worshiped Inanna, with the name coming from a person named Pilipili. They were raised as a woman (according to Mesopotamia’s gender roles), and were blessed by Inanna and given the name Pilipili. Inanna gave them a spear, an item associated very heavily with masculinity “as if she were a man” and they are only referred to as “The Transformed Pilipili” from that point on. “Spear'' is also thought to have phallic meaning here, which is even more directly saying that Inanna trans’ed Pilipili’s gender.

How about we move beyond the cult on Inanna now? A statue (or technically statuette but honestly whatever) found in the city of Mari depicts a singing woman. But wait! The name of the depicted person is “Ur-Nanshe”, a masculine name! This might mean nothing, but honestly, you’d assume transgenderism too if you met a woman named Steven. The statue has a soft face with traces of makeup, and it’s got tiddies!

A statue in the British museum (which for the record should not be in there. give it back) has a label translated as “Hermaphrodite of Inanna”. Hermaphrodite has a different meaning now, which a different translator, Cheryl Morgan, recognized, stating that “person-man-woman” would be more accurate. We don’t know specifics about their gender, but clearly this was a person outside of the gender binary who was not only significant enough to have a statue of them made, but also assumedly well-liked!

So, to summarize, Ancient Mesopotamia viewed genderqueer individuals as:

often blessed by the Queen of Heaven

transgender-ify-ed by said Queen of Heaven

well respected enough to be priests

said cult of trans priests was also said to be made by another god in devotion to Inanna

significant and well-liked enough to have statues of them

sounds like we should take some notes from our ancestors, huh?

[trans-androgyne]

TERFism & Transandrophobia

Hi folks, the radfems are on their shit again. They are trying to insert themselves into our conversations and spaces. They flatten transandrophobia to “just misogyny” and attribute it to transfems and other people they consider “male.” They are trying to use the backlash and transandrophobia we’ve received from some transfems as proof that “afab people” are specially oppressed by all “amab people.” They claim that trans women oppress cis women and promote “afab solidarity” against transfems. I’ve seen the radfem @/detransraichu (block them and @/vaelystrasia) talking about trying to get trans people—especially transmascs who acknowledge transandrophobia—to swallow their points better by using “afab” and “amab” instead of “female” and “male.”

If you have a moment to read below the cut, I wanted to briefly remind us all of some more crypto-TERF/radfem/gender critical rhetoric to look out for in these conversations.

1) Using amab/afab as nouns or adjectives instead of verbs — It isn’t always a radfem, but they basically find&replace “male/female” to amab/afab for the optics, so it’s something to look out for.

2) The idea of “male/amab supremacy” or “sex-based oppression” — belief everyone amab oppresses everyone afab. They use this to say trans women oppress cis women.

3) “Afab solidarity” — asking trans people afab to side with cis women over trans women. Erases the power cis women can have over transmascs. Think “trans men are my sisters.”

4) Male/female socialization — insists people are destined to become a specific way based on their agab. What they use to consider everyone amab dangerous and everyone afab safe. Always, always be extremely suspicious of anyone saying “women/afabs are safe, men/amabs are unsafe” for any reason. However, not everyone talking about their agab affecting how they were raised is a radfem. It’s acceptable to say that growing up when amab/afab affects how you were treated or how you act today. It is not okay to assume how others’ perceived socialization affects them, ever.

5) Bio women/bio vaginas/bio breasts — transphobic ways to exclude trans women or refer to their body parts in a way that implies they are cosmetic rather than biological.

6) “Afabmisogyny” — used to describe misogyny presumed to only affect people afab. Positions any misogyny experienced by transfems as less important.

7) “Kink critical” — radfem rhetoric is often very anti-kink, anti-porn, and anti-sex work(ers) as they believe all three are used to oppress females.

These are the points I thought were most relevant to transandrophobia conversations, but feel free to add on if you’re able!

[kalamity-jayne]

Sorry for asking but I am a cis male teenager (well, I thought I was.) but lately I have realized I think I might be a trans girl? I am very scared to drop my masculinity. How did you find out you were trans if that’s okay to ask?

Of course it's ok! I am always happy to help someone who is questioning their gender. However, this is actually a pretty loaded question, because while there is a lot of talk about "when my egg cracked" in trans circles, figuring out you're trans isn't always attributable to any one singular event. Some folks might crack through and emerge from their egg in one swift motion but that is not true for everyone, it certainly wasn't true for me. Sure I could tell about the moment the first crack in my shell appeared, but a single crack in the egg is a far cry from actually breaking out. For many it's a process that can involve a series of revelations and tends to require lots of self reflection and learning how to love yourself. So, there is no quick and easy answer for this. However, I think my story will have a number of different lessons relevant to your question.

Before getting into all that though, I feel I must point out that cisgender folks rarely ask themselves these kinds of questions and when they do entertain these thoughts it's brief and comes with very little agony. The fact you have gone so far as to reach out to trans woman for advice, the fact the you are clearly worried by the prospect of being trans, is a pretty clear indicator that you probably are trans. Regardless of whether you actually are transgender or not, I want you to know that either way, it's ok. You will be ok, no matter what conclusions you come to.

Now, the story of how I figured out I was trans. Bear in mind, the first “aha moment” was 20 yrs ago and things were very different back then. I was about 17yrs old at the time and the term transgender didn't have the currency then that it does now, there wasn't the robust set of terminology that we have today, there were far fewer resources to turn to, no social media, and the overall public opinion was significantly more hostile towards anything LGBT. Anyway, more below the cut.

I didn't follow the typical trans narrative of the time in the sense that, as a child I didn't really care about my clothes so long as my favorite cartoon characters were on 'em, I liked toys typically marketed towards boys, I looked like a boy and everyone referred to me as a boy. So I thought I was a boy. However, I do have a vague memory from early childhood, somewhere between the ages of 4-6, of sneaking into my mother’s room and stealing a pair of her satin underwear and trying it on (it surely would have been too big on me but I remember liking the texture of the fabric) and hiding it under my bed. This memory has since been confirmed during my adulthood by my brother who shared a room with me at the time and had apparently found the hidden stash.

From an early age I was explicitly shunted towards masculinity. I was regularly told to “stop acting like a girl,” and “quit crying like a girl,” and even at one point to “stop walking like a girl,” by my peers and one of my brothers. By the time I was a teenager I was doing my best to be as masculine as possible going so far as joining the highschool wrestling team, a sport that is as homophobic as it is homoerotic, and I hated every minute of it because being manly didn't feel natural to me (and it definitely didn't stop the bullying). It felt like I was trying to ice skate uphill. I fit in but only imperfectly for I was merely acting.

I was also very confused about my sexuality. I thought maybe I was gay or bisexual (turns out the latter) but that didn’t really explain what I was feeling. Around 17yrs old I got curious about transsexuals, thinking maybe the answers would be found there and hoped on to the early and oh so clunky internet. Now I knew of transsexuals conceptually but I didn't know anything about them. Sadly, pornography was really the only reliable way to actually see what a trans body looked like back then. I was stunned because the women I saw did not look at all the way I expected. I was blown away by how so many of them, genitalia aside, looked indistinguishable from cisgender women. And they were all absurdly beautiful. I felt an immediate attraction but there was something else I felt too, envy. And that realization was the first crack in my eggshell.

After that I couldn't get the thought of crossdressing out of my head. So, I dug through a box of my mother's old clothes and took a few items she no longer wore, an old white tennis skirt and a very very 70s sleeveless orange blouse. I was so comfortable in those clothes and when I looked at myself in the mirror I felt good, really good. So, I continued exploring, shaved off all of of my body hair, went to department stores that were open late at night to buy girl clothes (deathly afraid someone would recognize me), I would stay up late at night to watch HBO because at midnight they would occasionally air stuff about trans people, (I remember two documentary shorts in particular and the movie Soldier’s Girl) and I scoured the internet for more information. The internet search brought me to a website called TG list (at least I think that’s what it was called, this was 20yrs ago after all) which was a directory of resources ranging from The Breast Form Store (which still exists!), a myriad of gender identity quizzes (I took nearly every single one), and Susan’s Place.

Susan’s place was one of the few reliable places to hear from actual transgender adults. Unfortunately, while Susan's Place had a lot of useful information the forums there were full of horror stories, a never-ending supply of all the things those women had suffered. So needless to say, there was little to no positivity around transness to give me hope. I was afraid to call myself trans as a result, afraid of what it meant for my life, my future, and my physical safety (you have to remember that back then Mathew Shepard wasn’t old news, his tragedy was practically current events). So I called myself a crossdresser but for reasons I didn't understand at the time I deeply resented that label. I think deep down, no matter how much I tried to deny it and bury it, a part of knew I wanted to be a girl. So when I came out to my parents as a crossdresser and explicitly told them I wasn't trans, that I didn’t have any desire to transition to female, there was that lil voice at the back of my mind calling me a liar. That voice would follow me until my late 20s.

Coming out was a real struggle for me because not only did I think my life would literally be in jeopardy, I thought everyone would think I was making it up, having not followed the stereotypical models of transsexuality. When I came out to my parents they didn't disown me or anything but they were noticeably uncomfortable around me when I was in girl mode. At a certain point I needed their help (credit card) to buy a gaff for tucking and that was when my parents, out of a misguided desire to protect me, pushed me back into the egg. Because of their rejection I spent the rest of highschool and most of my college years trying to hold the egg together with even more denial and by doubling down on masculinity. While I did have some fun during my college years, on balance I was miserable and depressed. I chafed at my male costume and I knew I was lying to myself the entire time, and I hurt myself a great deal.

During my senior year of college I started privately dabbling with crossdressing again, the desire had been nagging at me incessantly. A short time after graduating I met my wife who accepted that side of me and she introduced me to the BDSM/kink community, and the overall culture of nonjudgmental acceptance there cracked the egg for good, because is provided spaces besides my own room where I felt safe being a girl. From that point on I slowly but surely came out of the egg, first calling myself a crossdresser, then genderfluid for awhile, then GENDA passed in NY making me an explicitly protected class and for the next 2 yrs I presented as a they/them genderqueer woman 100% full time without HRT (I was still reluctant to call myself a woman).

I wrestled a long time with the choice to go on HRT. Ultimately that was always a big stumbling block for me. Therapy had gotten me pretty far but I was still afraid of so much and was unsure I would be happy with the changes because my parents had initially rejected me as their daughter in very paternalistic fashion I struggled to trust my own instincts. I still struggle with that sometimes. Eventually, I befriended a trans woman in my neighborhood who pointed out HRT works very slowly and that it takes a long time for any permanent changes to take root. So, she suggested I give it a try and if it didn't feel right I could stop.

I was also taking gender identity quizzes again. Now most of these claim to be diagnostic and those ones a generally misogynistic garbage (they ask stupid questions like, “are you good at math?” and assign a gendered value to the answer) but I happened upon one that started with the disclaimer that it wasn't diagnostic and instead only offered questions that are good to think with. Two questions in particular were very helpful. The first asked, "If you could take a pill that would allow you to wake up tomorrow as a girl, would you take it?" My answer was a hesitant yes, but that yes was bolstered by the next question, "If you could take a pill that would allow you to wake up as a man, in your current body, but without any dysphoria or desires to be feminine, would you take it?" My answer was an emphatic no because that would have felt like killing an important part of myself off. I then at the age of 33yrs old started HRT and 4yrs in I am incredibly happy. That was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Now, I know that was a lot of fucking text to read but I wrote all of that because I know the prospect of maybe being a trans girl feels scary to you right now but I want to assure you that as daunting as it may seem there is so much about being a trans woman that is full of beauty and joy. I love my trans womanhood and despite the hardships, I wouldn’t give it up for anything. In fact the opposite is true. Knowing what I know now, I would give up almost everything in order to be a woman. So if you feel like you want to give girlhood a try, do it! You can take small incremental steps and you can always stop if it doesn’t feel right, either way you will gain a degree of self knowledge most cisgender people lack completely and that is absolutely priceless! Plus, unlike me when I was a teen, there’s all kinds of resources and information available to you now and an entire community of people ready to help you, and unlike the women in the forums from my past, we aren’t all gloom and doom.

As for your fear of giving up masculinity, don’t let that fear lure you into the denial trap like it did me. Denial is like quicksand, once you’re in it becomes hard to get out, the more you struggle the deeper in you go and it is so very suffocating. And the thing is, you actually don’t have to give it all up. Back when I was presenting full time as woman without HRT, I felt like I had to be ultra feminine all the time, full face of make-up, dress, heels, the whole nine yards. Now that I’m 4 yrs in with HRT I don’t feel that pressure anymore and have since reclaimed certain aspects of masculinity I actually liked. I sill like presenting high femme from time to time but these days I mostly rock a soft butch aesthetic, flannel/t-shirt, jeans and the only makeup I wear daily is just a lil bit of blush. At certain point you become comfortable and realize that gender is just a sandbox to play in and experiment. Masculine and Feminine are just concepts, they aren’t real! so regardless of being cis or trans, don’t let those mere concepts box you in! Just do what feels natural and right to you!

I hope all of that was helpful to you anon, and that at the very least you walk away from this knowing you don’t have to have all of the answers about yourself right now. Now, I don't no the particulars of your situation, so I’m happy to speak with you further if you have follow up questions, just send another anon.

Best of luck to you anon, I am rooting for you!

Big hugs,

Mother Calamity

[sirfrogsworth]

So, I guess I learned something here today.

If there is 0 romance or sex during a moment of love, it can't be gay.

I don't make the rules, as I am not trans and gay af.

I mean, I always thought love was multifaceted and could be expressed in myriad ways. But I suppose that all non-sexual displays of love are not accessible to queer folks.

I can think of countless examples where people have had a romantic interest for each other, but for whatever reason, acting on those feelings through romance or sex was not possible. But they still loved each other and expressed that love in other ways. And it was very much *not* platonic.

[nagashtheundying]

the corpse formerly known as trazynstolemygender

ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS OR AGELESS/BLANK BLOGS ALLOWED, YES THAT MEANS YOU. NO, ADULT IS NOT AN AGE AND NEITHER IS 18+

KEEP YOUR FUCKING COMMENTS IN THE TAGS

TW for untagged hard kinks not limited to but including cnc, intox, fauxcest, sadism, terato, breeding, piss, and more

like what i do? you can help me out here!

- nobody likes you when you're 23

- bile by name, bile by nature (aka you can call me bile)

- it/its pronouns (yeah i know i rbed a post with he/him for the pov but shhhhh)

- poly (not with you, that is say not looking on tumblr)

- pervy butch wolfdog older littermate

- can i call myself t4t? aaaah who cares, hot trans folks to the front of the line

- dms are mutals only, feel free to flirt or tell me what you want to do me or vice versa or talk movies and ttrpgs, though i do ask that you at least say hi before starting sexual talk

- asks are wide open for everyone and anyone! any topics allowed, any ask games i reblog no matter how old, thoughts, questions, comments, whatever is on your mind. though if you're submitting an old ask game please add the questions not justnumbers so i know what im answering.

tags what i use

- #wolf posting- dommy thoughts, breeding, sadism, primal play, werewolf stuff, anything that makes me feel particularly wolfish

- #awooo..., #awooo- feeling subby, petplay when im subbing, really just whenever i feel like a dumb little ouppy

- #necrodermis- oh hey its me!

- #makin noise- if you so desire to hear my voice

- #cute mutual !- you know what this one is.....

- #gorgeous people- non mutuals picture tag

- #ama (ask me anytime)- when im feeling like a pimp and a philosopher, ask tag

- #me n bun- thinking about my lovely partner

-#spewing bile- my writing

- #the hound- knight posting

[alexaloraetheris]

Lookie what I got in the Tumblr classifieds today:

I was sceptical, but it's a real article. You can find the full thing here. It's by Igor Goldkind, Neil's publicist at one point (for Violent Causes), so even if the bias wasn't immediately obvious, it's also clearly stated.

And it literally starts off like this:

Off to a great start, we are.

This bit made me question the legitimacy immediately:

I'll summarize the rest: he talks about knowing Gaiman since the 80s, how charismatic he is, how he introduced him to a lot of big names, how he was 'ahead of the curve when it came to gender sexuality' (the article is also full of typos and general grammatical errors) in making Sandman. He goes on and on about how much of a positive impact Gaiman has made across many demographics, emphasizing trans people.

Once he's done singing Gaiman's praises (80% of the article), you get this:

Ah. Calling the women attention seeking whores and saying rape isn't real if you're in a relationship, couched in very nice terms. Classic.

Then he does something I should have seen coming:

'It was all a misunderstanding, folks, can we just apologize to each other and move on?'

He acknowledges he made mistakes, and that he tries to fix them and move past them, and yet refuses to entertain the idea that Gaiman might have done anything out of malice, and anything he did do, couldn't warrant being dragged through the public like this (I agree with him on that for different reasons).

He ends with this:

(I have admittedly cherry picked the parts that stood out to me, read the full article for context)

Thoughts:

So, start to finish, this has the air of damage control. I did get the feeling Goldkind was sincere, though maybe he's just a better writer than I give him credit for. Maybe this is his honest to god oppinion. If he's really that close to Gaiman, I can believe he simply doesn't WANT to believe his friend capable of something like that. To be scrupulously fair, when I first heard the accusations (and about the Tortoise Media that published it) I at first assumed it was an antisemitic attack against an openly Jewish author, because come on, accusing THE Neil Gaiman of SA?

Nobody wanted to believe it.

The denial stage didn't last past the second publication. This guy is still there, I think, and is hoping it will blow over if everyone apologises and shakes hands on stage.

Too late for that buddy.

[featureenvyproductions]

here’s a bird’s eye view of my comic Eyan Eternal

For people who don't know what it is. Bc I think some of you might find it's right up your alley. Well this is an updated one anyway. I do actually have a volume of this out in print right now, but the low def, basic version is online and complete, and tbh, I just want people to read it. I took almost two years to complete this and quite literally poured every waking moment (after work and when I wasn’t fixing stuff in my house) into this to try and finish it.

Ahem

Here is one of these at a glance things! 

If that’s enough to intrigue you, take a look at my chapter masterpost which has convenient links to every chapter post so you don’t have to go figuring out where they are and what order they go in!: https://www.tumblr.com/featureenvyproductions/717516139934154752/eyan-eternal-tumblr-chapter-masterpost?source=share

If you like it and want to support me you can also buy a copy of the first print volume, which collects chapters 1-5 and has a smidge of bonus content (only available in the US right now, but that’s not going to be forever, and I’m working on an e-book as well): https://www.etsy.com/FeatureEnvy/listing/1447399615/eyan-eternal?utm_source=Copy&utm_medium=ListingManager&utm_campaign=Share&utm_term=so.lmsm&share_time=1683565699335

And now here is a more detailed break down if you need more info than that...

*Jonathan Frakes asks you things meme voice* have you ever wondered what you’d find if you REALLY lived forever?

Well, meet Eyan, an immortal vampire.

He’s slowly finding out the answer to that question...

...And it appears to be unbearable isolation.

Eons into the distant future, when most stars have faded in the night sky and the cosmic event horizon has confined any remaining beings to an isolated pocket of the universe, Eyan roams interstellar space in a repurposed generation ship in search of anything that could be considered alive/sentient in the way he is.

So far, he’s out of luck.

That is until he runs into an unexpected former rival on a remote planet - Zero, a sentient android he never expected to be the only other person left alive.

Well. That is, if either of them can really be considered “alive”. What does that mean anyway, when the humans who defined what it means to be alive are all gone?

This is something they’ll have to explore and define for themselves as they attempt to set aside their myriad of differences and try to work together on one of the few ways left to escape the dark fate of ultimate isolation - The Grand Encoder, a machine that can upload minds to a special medium - if it even works for them anyway. In the process, they slowly come to accept that maybe they’d had each other all wrong and weren’t seeing the bigger picture.

You may not find any action-packed Star Wars like escapades here in this sci fi drama. You also won’t find ponderings about the origins of vampires or what gave rise to robot sentience - It’s integral to the plot that these things just ARE. But you will find a thoughtful exploration of identity and how it can cause us to define ourselves and relate to (or abandon) each other depending on the framework within which we are doing that exploration and within which we are compelled to exist. It asks the question, what if the frameworks within which we defined our existence and purpose no LONGER existed...Where would we go from there?

And as two immortal guys who are the only folks left in the universe (as far as they know), Eyan and Zero are just the right people to mull over that.

There is both textual and allegorical queerness in this story - both main characters should be considered gay men, even if it’s The Future TM and terms/exact scopes of identities may not be EXACTLY 1-1 with today’s...But I want to be perfectly clear that it was my intent to make them gay because I wanted to see more gay guys in sci fi and I don’t want anyone erasing that. As for the allegorical stuff - I myself am a trans gay man in my late 30s, so this act of re-exploring and re-framing myself and evaluating how and why queer folks interact with each other the way we do is something I’m very familiar with, and I feel like other folks might relate. (I also peppered in some neurodivergent-person-in-a-neurotypical-world moods tbh.)

Of course it’s not all serious. I do have a bit of fun with some old school vampire tropes, tossing Eyan around and putting him in Situations.

Anyway if this all sounds interesting to you, take a look at my tag and site (above)! I’d appreciate it! I also like to hear from people and see if there’s anything about it you related to! :)

I also do everything. Every last monotonous step (well, aside from literally loading up a printing press to churn out volumes lol - BUT REST ASSURED IF I HAD $10K TO PISS INTO THE WIND I WOULD DO THAT TOO). So if there’s ANYTHING you want to know about my process, I’m happy to tell you so please ask, especially if you’re like trying to get started on your own comic or trying to go to print :) 

Edit before I go ahead and blaze this: I want to say, to be honest, the creation of comic was initially motivated almost entirely by the isolation/loneliness I’ve felt in my life. It’s not as bad as some folks’ and I know that, but it is a really prevalent thread throughout my life and sometimes is almost unbearable, and my comic began as an exploration of that loneliness, as well as a narrative exercise to try and express the depth of it at its worst point. I’m putting this out here because ultimately I don’t know...maybe someone will catch my drift and understand the feeling I’m trying to illustrate, and maybe they’ll want to see the plot that came of those feelings. I am not above the need to feel seen lol, especially if other people out there feel like they can resonate with this experience as well.

[emotional-moss]

okay half thought out post time ! i struggle with words sometimes so i hope this makes sense

okay look. i know what you guys are trying to do when you say “if you’re not trans, you’re cis.” you’re referring to all those shitty people who think cis is a slur for some reason or “i’m not cis, i’m a REAL WOMAN” and that shit. and the intent is right obviously ! there’s nothing wrong with the word cisgender, and the only reason assholes say that it’s a slur is because they use the word trans as a slur.

but here’s the thing: you’re wrong.

“if you’re not trans, you’re cis” does nothing but reinvent a binary: the binary of trans/cis. and that’s not helpful. there are gender-fluid folks who might say “well, i’m a girl today so i’m trans, but yesterday i was a boy, so cis.” i’ve met multiple people who say things like “yeah i’m cis-ish, but still funky in the gender” or “technically my identity falls under the trans umbrella, but i don’t use the label trans. i’m not cis though.”

like, binaries are good for no one. and there’s a VAST difference between someone saying “i’m multigender and don’t feel like either of those labels define me accurately” and someone else saying “i’m not CIS! how dare you call me a CISGENDER ! i am a NATURAL REAL MALE !” it’s all about whether it’s in good faith or not.

so just like, be aware that when you say that stuff, it can be weird or isolating or uncomfortable who folks who don’t think either of those labels work for them, or don’t use labels at all, or who exist somewhere in between cis and trans, or whose genders fluctuate from day to know. rambling thoughts over - have a good day!

this is not a discourse post. TERFS and transphobes are not allowed to debate me about the validity of trans identity, you will be blocked.

[theangryman]

kink as religion/spirituality

it’s a little gauche to say something is “like a cult” - it’s overused as an expression

but a large problem i have with kink/bdsm subculture is the commonalities with religion, the spiritual aspects

when you think of precedents for “consensual” ritualized harm and self harm, they are religious (several groups have traditions of undergoing full on crucifixions for Easter, there’s similar rites for some Shia Muslims for Ashura - which is today I believe)

the desire for progression as some sort of internal challenge - there’s always a desire and encouragement to expand one’s limits

it’s driven by the same desire for a transcendent experience

the communities’ members have strange persecution complexes, gaslighting victims of abuse, especially when by higher ranking members

the focus on hierarchy (leather culture had formalized rules - serve in a house, train as submissive - tortured gay men wanting to punish themselves - maybe can read a form a Catholicism into this; modern kink culture is like modern Protestantism in that any sufficiently well groomed upper middle class man can claim to have the unique skills to be a good pastor/“dom” and open up a church/dungeon)

the repulsion towards former members/critiques of systemic issues present (expression anti kink opinions has gotten me the same kind of hateful response from other trans men that being a trans man did in the 2010s online - to the point where gendering people correctly appears to be optional for folks who are anti kink? the double whammy of being accused of being a TERF and than insulted with “girl” is always a fucking whiplash - can you not use the term “TERF” to mean “anyone i don’t like,” y’all look like fucking morons)

maybe many of these things can be applied to things like multi level marketing or any other extremely large organizational idea that people subsume their identity into, but the aspect of seeking “ecstasy” adds a hellish intensity to the mix

and like losing one’s religion, it’s difficult to leave. it’s difficult to part with the thought parties the beliefs. it’s difficult to justify to outsiders. (i agreed to let him do X but he did Y - the specifics don’t matter but it’s going to happen to you)

it creates mind bending cognitive dissonance - only puritanical criticisms of kink can be addressed. no matter what critique of kink you make, the response is

men are submissive too! (go actually look at femdom porn/hentai lol and see what they want or make a troll fet dom-F account if you don’t believe me + most submissive men are trans men with self esteem issues - the type who have boyfriends that refer to them as their girlfriend to their family; the religious analog would be something about complementary gender roles perhaps)

it’s all about consent! (what do we say about consent in power dynamics? now this is a subtle point, which is made impossible to address because it is such a fundamental threat to heterosexuality itself, that Dworkin tried to make and was glossed into “all sex is rape” because it is such a threat - what do we say to the idea of consent when we are fundamentally unequal human beings by nature of assigned sex of birth? who makes more money? who can overpower? i think most have gotten the picture that what Thomas Jefferson did to Sally Hemings was unambiguously rape, but what about all of the women throughout history when marital rape was considered the norm? it requires acknowledging that your great grandpa probably raped your great grandma, or up and down that line for thousands of generations - maybe if you acknowledge up front that gooners are going to want you to agree to humiliating and disgusting sex acts up front - that agreeing to have mutual fun with a stranger means rolling the dice on physical assault - maybe if you agree up front and pretend you can set some kinds of rules it’ll work out; similarly, religion is the comfort that life isn’t pointless suffering and maybe we’ll get to see our dog and grandma again if you follow these rules)

you can’t project your trauma onto the community/bad people aren’t doing really kink (i have a fairly large sampling size of kink partners and experiences personally. i genuinely don’t believe my arguments can be dialed down to “i had personal trauma in kink thus all kink is bad” unless one is taking my words at bad faith. this very much reeks of accusing atheists of hating god because of trauma or not getting what they want.)

you don’t actually believe that/you’re lying/you want it (these are obvious comparisons to religion)

these feel like the same kinds of responses i see to ex Mormons/Jehovah’s Witnesses/etc online

modern kink is similar to modern Protestantism in that it facilitates the creation of micro cults. institutionalization of kink is structured such that critique can be deflected onto individual actors. i’d argue Reddit is a major source of kink “education” - and no one can deny that subreddits can have concerning moderators. You have Fetlife, which is primarily heterosexual, male dom/female sub pornography. You have a couple of Booktok tier pop psych books which encourage Bronze Age marriage models. This maps to the diffuse ways in which American Protestantism propagates its ideas - it’s a nebulous mess of ideas that can evaporate when asked to take responsibility. We can’t hold all Christians accountable for Mark Driscoll’s ideas; we can’t hold all kinksters responsible for the actions of [insert the creeps who message you if you take up my suggestion of a troll fetlife account]. But can we not ask what it says about American Protestantism that Mark Driscoll exists and says what he says? And can we not look askew when what he said could be happily echoed by a kinkster as long as it was prefixed with “it’s kinky and consensual btw <3” and had been posted on fetlife anonymously - instead of his own church forum?

Kink is reactionary ideology which has parasitized societal acceptance of queer folks to justify the abusive dynamics of heterosexual relationships and sex, which has replaced religion as the justification for that dynamic.

[zoro-chwaan]

So this was something I started last year, but never finished (cause I forgor) buy here ya go.

Ooc Hobie probably, but boo hoo, I don’t care

» [ Hobie (Spider-Punk) x trans!reader ] «

─── ☾

You and Hobie always had a weird friendship. Where whenever one of you saw the other, you would scream at each other about how great the other is. The other spider-folks would either find it adorable or annoying. Miguel thought of it as annoying since the both of you are ‘too loud’ for his taste. But why does it matter to him? Maybe he’s still sour due to the fact that he lost his daughter, personal issue if you ask me.

Though Hobie and you are close friends. You still neglected to mention to him some things about you, but you didn’t have the need to tell him anything any time soon. You’d know he’d be fine with the fact of who you are.

Oddly enough, today you decided to install Pokémon Go. Just for the heck of it (and because you really wanted a specific Pokémon). You spent roughly a couple minutes on it, starting to question if it was the right choice. You opened the portal to where all the spider-folks are at and walked in. You looked around to see if you can spot a certain punk.

“You looking for someone?”

Startled and turned to see it was just Lyla with a smirk on her face. You chuckled and nodded, “Do you know if Hobie is in here or if he’s in his dimension?” Lyla just laughed and told you that he was here. “He’s on top of one of the buildings” She said as she disappeared. You smiled and went on your way. After a while you found him where Lyla said he would be. He seemed to just be relaxing, you smiled and looked at him for a bit before you decided to ruin his day. “HOBIE!!” Hobie turned around and saw you and smiled. “Yeah Y/N, it’s me. What’s up?”

“I THINK I MADE A MISTAKE!”

He looked at you with a confused expression “WHAT kind of mistake?!” You paused for a moment and muttered, “So I decided to reinstall Pokémon Go..”

“Y/N, DON’T PLAY THAT GAME FOR YOUR OWN SAKE!!”

“BUT I NEED (Favorite Pokémon)!!”

“THEY ARE FICTIONAL CREATURES! YOU DON’T NEED THEM!” You gasped at his statement and gave him a look of betrayal. “YES I DO!!” You responded. “WHY ON EARTH DO YOU NEED THEM?!”

“BECAUSE I RELATE TO (Favorite Pokémon)!!” You yelled back.

“WHY DO YOU RELATE TO (Favorite Pokémon)?!”

“NO COMMENT”

“DON’T YOU HAVE FRIENDS?!” He blurted out. You paused once again giving him a look that said ‘Ayo chill’ He saw that and chuckled awkwardly, “I was just asking..” He scratched the back of his neck.

“This is why I need (Favorite Pokémon)”

“YOU DON’T NEED (Favorite Pokémon)!!”

“YOU DON’T KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR ME!!”

“I ACTUALLY DO KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR YOU!!”

“NUH UH!!”

“YUH HUH!!” He retorted

“SAYS WHO??” You fought back

“SAYS ME” He countered

“WHY?!”

“BECAUSE I KNOW YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE DOES” He stood up and walked towards you. He’s not wrong, he really does know you better than anyone else in here does. You two were close, and it shows. “I KNOW” you screamed.

“YOU DON’T KNOW!! IF YOU KNEW, YOU WOULDN’T BE PLAYING POKÉMON GO!!” Damnit he’s got a point.

“BUT I NEED IT”

“YOU DON’T NEED IT!!”

“WHY?!”

“BECAUSE ITS BAD FOR YOU!” (NUH uh)

“Damn..” you said, acting a bit dramatic for the affect. He sighed and shook his head, “What am I going to do with you?” He questioned, mostly to himself while smiling. “Honestly, I don’t even know myself” you replied. You both stayed silent for a bit, till he thought of something. “Hey Y/N… I think I know why you relate to (Favorite Pokémon) now..” You gave him a puzzled look and quirked up an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”

“You just need a friend”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Okay we’re done with this conversation” you said as you facepalmed. No need to call you out like that.. geez..

“BUT I WANNA HELP!”

“NO!!”

“I’M GONNA HELP YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!”

“WHY?!”

“BECAUSE I’M YOUR FRIEND AND YOU NEED ME TO HELP!!”

“DO YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED??”

“A FRIEND??!” “Damn I get it… no need to remind me that I’m lonely..” You mentally said to yourself

“NO!! A CHEST BINDER” You replied without thinking. Shit.. did you just really put yourself?

“A CHEST BINDER??!!” Now it was his turn to look puzzled.. Fuck

“YEAH!”

“WHY???!!!” “Well it’s now or never..”

“CAUSE I’M TRANS!!”

“YOUR TRANS?!”

“YEAH!! WHAT OF IT?!!” You would be lying to yourself if you said that your kinda scared shitless

“I’M JUST SURPRISED!!”

“REALLY?” “Dumb reply”

“YEAH, I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE TRANS!!!” Even if you never told him, he still would’ve called you a guy since you passed really well. You were happy.

“WELL SURPRISE!!” You were scared shitless, yet you knew he would still be supportive of you. That’s just how he is, but it was your turn to be surprised by what came out his mouth.

“I HAVE TO GET YOU A CHEST BINDER NOW!!”

“THAT’S SO SWEET OF YOU!!” Your heart beat a happy tune.. man he made you feel such love and happiness

“ANYTHING FOR YOU!!” Yeah.. he really made your heart skip a beat

“WHY ARE WE STILL YELLING?!”

“BECAUSE WE’RE LOUD PEOPLE!!” You paused once again and nodded. “Fair enough”, again silence came over you two again.

“…So, about the chest binder..” Hobie started up. You turned to him, “What about it?”

“I REALLY NEED TO GET YOU ONE!!” Man, he really is sweet. But sometimes, you just want to buy something’s for yourself. As a reward.

“I CAN GET IT MYSELF, BUCKO”

“NO YOU CAN’T!! IT’S MY JOB TO GET YOU ONE!!” He’s more than aware that you are more than capable of getting yourself one, but he really cares about you and wants to give you one as a gift. How sweet

“WHY?!”

“BECAUSE YOU NEED IT!!”

“YEAH I DO!! I CAN GET ONE MYSELF!!”

“I’LL BUY YOU ONE!!!!” And when you thought he couldn’t get any sweeter..

“YOU DON’T NEED TO”

“I’LL BUY IT AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME!!” Times like these, you’re really thankful that you’re on top of a building. Sure, if some folks are close enough, they would hear your guy’s scream fight. But would they understand what the two do you are talking about.. probably not.

“LET ME BUY IT FOR MYSELF!!”

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ————

Will I finish this? Probably not, but hey, you just gotta do what you gotta do

[nothorses]

I was speaking to a white trans man earlier today and I found out something I thought was maybe because of melanin and I'm just asking other people who've been on T if it's the same with them because I think it's under reported: Did you get more freckles/moles around your body?

Huh! For data, I'm a white trans man with lots of freckles/moles, and I haven't noticed more on T. I do also get more with exposure to sun, though.

I'll let other folks answer too! Can't post asks about it, though, so it'll have to be added in the notes of this post.