#tour of medical university

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PETROZAVODSK STATE UNIVERSITY

[16woodsequ]

100 Asexual Books Rec List

For this list the goal is fiction books with a main character or significant secondary character that is on the Asexual spectrum, or non-fiction books about being Aspec.

Junior Novels

1. Rick by Alex Gino An eleven year old boy starting middle school begins discovering his asexuality admist the school's rainbow spectrum club. Also features transgender and crossdressing side characters, as well as a LGBTQIAP+ supporting cast.

2. Sal & Gabi Break the Universe by Carlos Alberto Pablo Hernandez In order to heal after his mother's death, Sal learned how to meditate. But no one expected him to be able to take it further and 'relax' things into existence. Turns out he can reach into time and space to retrieve things from other universes. Asexual Sal.

3. Hazel's Theory of Evolution by Lisa Jenn Bigelow Hazel knows a lot about the world. But even Hazel doesn't have answers for the questions awaiting her as she enters eighth grade. What if no one at her new school gets her, and she doesn't make any friends? What's going to happen to one of her moms, who's pregnant again after having two miscarriages? Why does everything have to change when life was already perfectly fine? Hazel (main character) is asexual and aromantic (it isn't said in the book, but it is specified in the author's note at the back of the book).

4. The Trouble with Robots by Michelle Mohrweis Evelyn strives for excellence. Allie couldn't care less. Together, these polar opposites must work together if they have any hope of saving their school's robotics program. Allie is asexual and/or aromantic. Junior graphic novel.

5. This is Our Rainbow by Editors Katherine Locke and Nicole Melleby Featuring contributions from Eric Bell, Katherine Locke and A.J. Sass, this first LGBTQA+ anthology for middle-grade readers presents stories of queer fantasy, historical and contemporary stories for every letter of the acronym.

6. Every Bird a Prince by Jenn Reese After she saves the life of a bird prince and becomes their champion, seventh grader Eren Evers must defend a forest kingdom, save her mom, and keep the friendships she holds dear--if she is brave enough to embrace her inner truths. Eren is aromantic (and I'm guessing asexual, though that isn't discussed).

YA Fiction

7. When Villains Rise by Rebecca Schaeffer With her best friend, Kovit's, life in danger, Nita is determined to take down the black market once and for all. Latina asexual and aromantic main character (Nita).

8. The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee Henry "Monty" Montague was bred to be a gentleman. His passions for gambling halls, late nights spent with a bottle of spirits, or waking up in the arms of women or men, have earned the disapproval of his father. His quest for pleasures and vices have led to one last hedonistic hurrah as Monty, his best friend and crush Percy, and Monty's sister Felicity begin a Grand Tour of Europe. When a reckless decision turns their trip abroad into a harrowing manhunt, it calls into question everything Monty knows, including his relationship with the boy he adores. Aro/ace secondary character (prequel to a Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy).

9. The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee A year after an accidentally whirlwind grand tour with her brother Monty, Felicity Montague has returned to England with two goals in mind—avoid the marriage proposal of a lovestruck suitor from Edinburgh and enroll in medical school. A highly loved book in regards to asexual portrayal, Felicity’s journey does a fantastic job of exploring the struggle of navigating a world where marriage is expected of women in order to function in society. Even more refreshing is Felicity isn’t just avoiding getting married out of a sole rebellion against the patriarchy (though those themes are also present), but simply because she doesn’t have an interest in sexual or romantic relationships at all.

10. Silver in the Mist by Emily Victoria Asexual Devlin has grown up in the shadow of her mother’s impressive spy network—and the shadow of the kingdom, too. A magical mist is eating away at their borders, weakening their magic and making them vulnerable to attacks. Devlin is tasked with infiltrating the royal court of the wealthier neighboring kingdom, but when she befriends their most powerful magic wielder, she discovers an ancient mystery that may hold the key to defeating the mists for good. Victoria prioritizes strong friendships between queer characters and an examination of wealth disparity in this fantasy full of twists and turns.

11. Not Good for Maidens by Tori Bovalino Beneath the streets of York, the goblin market calls to the Wickett women-the family of witches that tends to its victims. For generations, they have defended the old cobblestone streets with their magic. Knowing the dangers, they never entered the market-until May Wickett fell for a goblin girl, accepted her invitation, and became inextricably tied to the world her family tried to protect her from. Told through dual narratives in different timelines, the book essentially has two protagonists: Lou and May. Between these two characters, we have some great queer representation for both asexuality and bisexuality.

12. A Snake Falls to Earth by Darcie Little Badger Themes of magic, family, asexuality, and traditional storytelling dominate in Lipan Apache author Darcie Little Badger's delightful and uplifting second YA novel. A Lipan girl named Nina collides with Oli who is from the land of spirits and monsters. But some people will do anything to keep them apart. This is a wholesome, elegantly written read guaranteed to warm your heart! 

13. Arden Grey by Ray Stoeve Arden Grey is a novel about different kinds of abusive relationships, as well as the strength of family and friendships. Following her parents' separation, Arden is depressed and coming to accept herself as being on the asexual spectrum.

14. It Sounds Like This by Anna Meriano Yasm Trevi didn't have much of a freshman year thanks to Hurricane Humphrey, but she's ready to take sophomore year by storm. That means mastering the marching side of marching band--fast!--so she can outshine her BFF Sofia as top of the flute section, earn first chair, and impress both her future college admission boards and her comfortably unattainable drum major crush Gilberto Reyes. But Yasm steps off on the wrong foot when she reports an anonymous gossip Instagram account harassing new band members and accidentally gets the entire low brass section suspended from extracurriculars. Rep: Biracial Latina fat asexual-questioning cis female MC, Jewish gray-aromantic gray-asexual male side character with ADHD and APD.

15. One for All by Lillie Lainoff In 1655 sixteen-year-old Tania is the daughter of a retired musketeer, but she is afflicted with extreme vertigo and subject to frequent falls; when her father is murdered she finds that he has arranged for her to attend Madame de Treville's newly formed Acadaemie des Mariées in Paris, which, it turns out, is less a school for would-be wives, than a fencing academy for girls--and so Tania begins her training to be a new kind of musketeer, and to get revenge for her father. Rep: disability, asexuality, sapphic side characters, POTS and PTSD.

16. The State of Us by Shaun David Hutchinson When Dean Arnault’s mother decided to run for president, it wasn’t a surprise to anyone, least of all her son. But still that doesn’t mean Dean wants to be part of the public spectacle that is the race for the White House—at least not until he meets Dre. The only problem is that Dre Rosario’s on the opposition; he’s the son of the Democratic nominee. In a moment of solidarity and high emotions, Dean tells Dre that he has been questioning his sexual orientation. He isn’t sure if he’s asexual or demisexual. Dre puts a messaging app on Dean’s phone so they can stay in touch.

17. Scavenge the Stars by Tara Sim When Amaya rescues a mysterious stranger from drowning, she fears her rash actions have earned her a longer sentence on the debtor ship where she’s been held captive for years. Instead, the man she saved offers her unimaginable riches and a new identity, setting Amaya on a perilous course through the coastal city-state of Moray, where old-world opulence and desperate gamblers collide. Amaya wants one thing: revenge against the man who ruined her family and stole the life she once had. Desi, demisexual female protagonist. 

18. Camp by Lev AC Rosen It’s Randy’s fifth year at Camp Outland, a camp where queer teens get a chance to be themselves. Hoping to win over Hudson’s heart—who’s masc and straight passing and only seems to date other guys like himself—Randy has spent the past year reinventing himself: workout regimen, new haircut, new carefully curated wardrobe. His friends and camp counsellor all think it’s a terrible idea, but what can they do but support him anyways?

19. Little Thieves by Margaret Owen Once upon a time, the daughter of death and fortune was a teenage girl and she was the worst. Little Thieves is, as the dedication says, for the gremlin girls, never has there been a more gremlin girl than Vanja Schmidt. A brilliant and brazen swindler, Vanja could give Kaz Brekker a run for his money. But Vanja has bigger fish to fry. As her body rapidly turns into the gemstones she craves, Vanja must put things right and face her greed head on all while juggling her engagement to a terrible margrave, an investigator with his own magic, and the princess whose face she stole. Vanja’s relationship with junior prefect Emeric could not be more demisexual if it tried, with both sides of the romance experiencing asexual spectrum existence in different and complimentary ways. One part Germanic fairytale, one part ensemble heist, Little Thieves is an unhinged romp of a book.

20. Everyone Hates Kelsie Miller by Meredith Ireland Rom-coms and the asexuality spectrum...two great things that go great together. Kelsie and Eric have been competing against each other their whole lives. But desperation forces them to work together. Kelsie’s best friend stopped talking to her and Eric wants to rekindle his relationship with his ex-girlfriend, and since both will be at UPenn at the same time, Eric and Kelsie decide to go on a road trip together. Sparks fly.

21. You Don't Have a Shot by Racquel Marie Valentina "Vale" Castillo-Green's life revolves around soccer. Her friends, her future, and her father's intense expectations are all wrapped up in the beautiful game. But after she incites a fight during playoffs with her long-time rival, Leticia Ortiz, everything she's been working toward seems to disappear. Queer asexual biracial (Colombian, Irish) protagonist.

22. Foul Lady Fortune by Chloe Gong In 1931 Shanghai, two Nationalist spies pose as a married couple to investigate a series of brutal murders causing unrest in the city. Rep: demisexual Chinese protagonist, bisexual Chinese protagonist, bisexual Chinese main character, Chinese trans woman main character, aromantic asexual side character; (Chinese-Kiwi author).

23. The Spy with the Red Ballon by Katherine Locke Siblings Ilse and Wolf hide a deep secret in their blood: with it, they can work magic. And the government just found out. Blackmailed into service during World War II, Ilse lends her magic to America’s newest weapon, the atom bomb, while Wolf goes behind enemy lines to sabotage Germany’s nuclear program. It’s a dangerous mission, but if Hitler were to create the bomb first, the results would be catastrophic. Gay demisexual Jewish protagonist.

24. Beneath the Citadel by Destiny Soria Cassa, the orphaned daughter of rebels, and friends Alys, Evander, and Newt, fight back against the high council of Eldra, which has ruled for centuries based solely on ancient prophesies. Alys, an apothecary-in-training and the level-headed one of the crew. She identifies as asexual.

25. Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia Eighteen-year-old Eliza Mirk is the anonymous creator of the wildly popular webcomic Monstrous Sea, but when a new boy at school tempts her to live a life offline, everything she's worked for begins to crumble. Asexual main character, not explicitly stated in the book.

26. Technically, You Started It by Lana Wood Johnson When a guy named Martin Nathaniel Munroe II texts you, it should be obvious who you're talking to. Except there's two of them (it's a long story), and Haley thinks she's talking to the one she doesn't hate. Demisexual main character.

27. Now Entering Addamsville by Francesca Zappia Zora Novak is framed for a crime she didn't commit--in a town obsessed with ghosts, will she be able to find the culprit and clear her name before it's too late? It's a brief mention, but Zora is ace.

28. Fully Disclosure by Camryn Garrett In a community that isn’t always understanding, an HIV-positive teen must navigate fear, disclosure, and radical self-acceptance when she falls in love–and lust–for the first time. One of Simone’s best friends in the book, Claudia, is an asexual lesbian. The unwavering support she gives to Simone is heartwarming, and she is also openly sex-positive—which flips the script on its head regarding what most people would assume of asexual people.

30. The Art of Saving the World by Corinne Duyvis When Hazel Stanczak was born, an interdimensional rift tore open near her family’s home, which prompted immediate government attention. They soon learned that if Hazel strayed too far, the rift would become volatile and fling things from other dimensions onto their front lawn—or it could swallow up their whole town. Hazel Stanczak identifies as asexual, though she spends time in the book questioning it. The book presents a unique way to show that there is not one single way to be asexual—that it exists on a spectrum and can look different for each person.

31. Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann Alice had her whole summer planned. Non-stop all-you-can-eat buffets while marathoning her favorite TV shows (best friends totally included) with the smallest dash of adulting–working at the library to pay her share of the rent. The only thing missing from her perfect plan? Her girlfriend (who ended things when Alice confessed she’s asexual). Alice is done with dating–no thank you, do not pass go, stick a fork in her, done. Alice is a biromantic and asexual black woman who starts off very confident in her identity as asexual, yet has experiences that have her questioning her orientation and how to talk about it.

32. In the Ravenous Dark by AdriAnne Strickland A pansexual blood mage reluctantly teams up with an undead spirit to start a rebellion among the living and the dead. This book features Japha, an asexual nonbinary character who serves as the best friend to the MC.

33. Seven Ways We Lie by Riley Redgate Life at Paloma High School is much like any other high school, with petty drama, judgmental assholes, and mind-numbing schoolwork. Until it isn’t. A scandal emerges: a student and teacher had an illicit affair. At the center of the scandal are seven teenagers, each with their own secrets, whose lives are transformed as a result of this scandal. One of the characters can be read as asexual (and possibly neurodiverse). He never explicitly labels himself as such, but the way he describes his experiences of [non-]attraction strongly point to him being on the ace spectrum.

34. Quicksilver by R. J. Anderson Tori thought she had left her past behind when she and her family started a new life in a new city. But then Sebastian Faraday reappears in her life to tell her that she’s not quite as safe as she thinks: the relay is still operating and a genetics lab is trying to track her down to figure out the secret behind her unusual biology. Tori is going to have to use all of her considerable technical expertise to escape her past and live the normal human life she’s always wanted to have. Asexual main character.

35. Hullmetal Girls by Emily Skrutskie Aisha Un-Haad, seventeen, and Key Tanaka, eighteen, have risked everything for new lives as mechanically enhanced soldiers, and when an insurrection forces dark secrets to surface, the fate of humanity is in their hands. In Hullmetal Girls, Aisha is not only ace/aro but she is also happy with her identity. Crucially, so is everyone else.

36. Not Even Bones by Rebecca Schaeffer Nita's mother hunts monsters and, after Nita dissects and packages them, sells them online, but when Nita follows her conscience to help a live monster escape, she is sold on the black market in his place. Aro/Ace main character

37. Before I Let Go by Marieke Nijkamp When Corey moves away from Lost Creek, Alaska, she makes her friend Kyra promise to stay strong during the long, dark winter, and wait for her return. Just days before Corey is to return home to visit, Kyra dies. The entire Lost community speaks in hushed tones, saying her death was meant to be. And they push Corey away like she's a stranger. With every hour, Corey's suspicion grows. Lost is keeping secrets-- but piecing together the truth about what happened to her best friend may prove as difficult as lighting the sky in an Alaskan winter. Aro/Ace main character.

38. If It Makes You Happy by Claire Kann Winnie is living her best fat girl life and is on her way to the best place on earth. No, not Disneyland–her Granny’s diner, Goldeen’s, in the small town of Misty Haven. While there, she works in her fabulous 50’s inspired uniform, twirling around the diner floor and earning an obscene amount of tips. With her family and ungirlfriend at her side, she has everything she needs for one last perfect summer before starting college in the fall. …until she becomes Misty Haven’s Summer Queen in a highly anticipated matchmaking tradition that she wants absolutely nothing to do with. Aro/ace secondary character.

39. Dread Nation by Justina Ireland An alternate history where the Civil War was put on hold when zombies started to rise. Almost finished with her education at Miss Preston's School of Combat in Baltimore, Jane is set on returning to her Kentucky home and doesn't pay much mind to the politics of the eastern cities, with their talk of returning America to the glory of its days before the dead rose.But when families around Baltimore County begin to go missing, Jane is caught in the middle of a conspiracy, one that finds her in a desperate fight for her life against some powerful enemies. And the restless dead, it would seem, are the least of her problems. The word asexual is not used, but that fits with the setting, and the explanation goes into a fair amount of detail, also ruling out that she likes women instead.

40. Vespertine by Margaret Rogerson When her convent is attacked by possessed soldiers, Artemisia defends the Gray Sisters by awakening the revenant bound to a saint's relic, even though she runs the risk of being possessed permanently by the powerful ancient spirit. Non-explicit romantic asexual main character. Fantasy.

41. Archivist Wasp by Nicole Kornher-Stace A postapocalyptic ghosthunter escapes her dire fate by joining the ghost of a supersoldier on his quest to the underworld Aromantic asexual main character. Dark fantasy/dystopian.

42. Summer of Salt by Katrina Leno While anyone would love to have a bit of magic, what happens when magic turns dark? Georgina Fernweh will come into her magic someday soon. Before she does, Georgina faces a tragedy that tests the islanders' trust. In this book, Georgina’s best friend Vira is aroace, and it’s addressed somewhat in the story at different points. There is a sweet strength between Georgina and Vira, full of loyalty and support that is lovely to see.

43. The Summer of Bitter and Sweet by Jen Ferguson In this moving and complex narrative, Lou learns to draw boundaries, stand up for herself, all while coming to terms with her demisexuality.

44. The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow One-third of the human population has died and now the world is about to end. Ellie, a fat, Black, disabled, demisexual girl with access to an illegal library teams up with a music-loving alien to risk their lives to save the world.

45. The Grimrose Girls by Laura Pohl Pohl serves up a veritable smorgasbord of queer fairytale goodies in Grimrose Girls. This tale as old as time follows four students at the prestigious boarding school Grimrose Academy—Ella, Yuki, Rory, and newcomer Nani. When the former three’s best friend dies, all four girls are swept up in a dark and twisted mystery full of old fairytale magic. They must work together to unravel the secrets between them and break an ancient curse that dooms them to a fairytale ending (and not the fun kind). Yuki’s aromantic asexual identity is explored in her relationship to expectations, beauty, and friendship throughout the novel.

46. Radio Silence by Alice Oseman Frances has been a study machine with one goal. Nothing will stand in her way; not friends, not a guilty secret – not even the person she is on the inside. Then Frances meets Aled, and for the first time, she’s unafraid to be herself. So when the fragile trust between them is broken, Frances is caught between who she was and who she longs to be. In this book, Aled identifies as demisexual while Frances identifies as bisexual. The story really pays homage to the importance of friendship, and romantic storylines move to the background in a way we don’t often get in YA literature.

47. This Golden Flame by Emily Victoria Forced to serve her country’s ruling group, Karis wants nothing more than to find her brother. But family bonds don’t matter to the sole focus of unlocking the magic of an ancient automaton army. Karis is ace and other LGBTQ+ characters are introduced throughout.

48. Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand A horror novel centered around three girls facing off against an unseen monster that preys upon the young women of the island of Sawkill Rock. Features a black asexual girl fresh out of a romantic relationship, as well as a f/f relationship.

49. Love Letters for Joy by Melissa See Less than a year away from graduation, seventeen-year-old Joy is too busy overachieving to be worried about relationships. She’s determined to be Caldwell Prep’s first disabled valedictorian. And she only has one person to beat, her academic rival Nathaniel. But it’s senior year and everyone seems to be obsessed with pairing up. One of her best friends may be developing feelings for her and the other uses Caldwell’s anonymous love-letter writer to snag the girl of her dreams. Joy starts to wonder if she has missed out on a quintessential high school experience. She is asexual, but that’s no reason she can’t experience first love, right?

50. Not Your Backup by C. B. Lee Part 3 in the Sidekick Squad series by C.B. Lee. Follows a questioning aromantic asexual latinx superhero sidekick fighting to prove her worth on the team despite her lack of superpowers, all admist the team's battle against the corrupt League of Heroes.

51. Belle Révolte by Linsey Miller Noble-born Emilie des Marais, 16, wants to become a physician, a role usually forbidden women of her class because of the corruptive toll the magical "noonday arts" exact. Common-born Annette Boucher wants to escape her domineering parents and master the less physically costly "midnight arts" of illusions, divination, and scrying, normally reserved for those who can afford the expensive education. At Emilie's urging, each girl takes the other's place. Miller (Ruin of Stars) writes in lush, dense prose that can require a careful read, but her protagonists' awareness of privilege and desire to challenge the status quo shines through. LGBTQ representation--including gay, trans, and nonbinary characters (Annette identifies as asexual biromantic)--further widens this tale's appeal.

52. Tarnished Are the Stars by Rosiee Thor A secret beats inside Anna Thatcher's chest: an illegal clockwork heart. Anna works cog by cog -- donning the moniker Technician -- to supply black market medical technology to the sick and injured, against the Commissioner's tyrannical laws. Determined to earn his father's respect, Nathaniel sets out to capture the Technician. But the more he learns about the outlaw, the more he questions whether his father's elusive affection is worth chasing at all. This YA novel features an aroace character gradually coming to accept his orientation in the midst of everything else that is happening in his life. Perfect for older teens who also enjoy WLW representation and dark themes.

53. Aces Wild: A Heist by Amanda DeWitt An all-asexual online friend group attempts to break into a high-stakes gambling club and commit a heist together. Includes a male asexual character navigating what love looks like for him, an aromantic asexual Latinx gender-nonconforming boy, a Vietnamese American and German asexual nonbinary teen, and a black asexual girl.

54. Planning Perfect by Haley Neil Summer vacation quickly becomes complicated for Felicity Becker as she tries to plan a perfect wedding for her mom, figure out her feelings for her friend Nancy, and wonder what dating will look like for her as an asexual person.

55. Ace of Hearts by Myriad Augustine Everyone around Alvin seems to be obsessed with one thing-- sex. Alvin finds it uncomfortable to think and talk about it and he knows he isn't ready and may never be. His friends, however, think that all Alvin needs is to hook up with the right guy. But the closer Alvin gets to being physical with someone, the more he's uncertain that this is for him and he begins to wonder if he's asexual. Can Alvin find the love that's right for him?

56. Beyond the Black Door by AdriAnne Strickland Everyone has a soul. Some are beautiful gardens, others are frightening dungeons. Kamia comes to know more about her identity as she decides to battle the forces of evil, no matter the cost... Asexual and demi-romantic main characters. Dark fantasy. Kamai is asexual, but isn’t aromantic—she has an interest in relationships that isn’t always depicted for those who are ace.

57. Loveless by Alice Oseman A queer coming of age story featuring a romance obsessed aromantic asexual main character discovering her sexuality and coming to terms with what that means, and a variety of other queer characters that support her on her journey.

58. Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman Rumi Seto spends a lot of time worrying she doesn’t have the answers to everything. What to eat, where to go, whom to love. But there is one thing she is absolutely sure of—she wants to spend the rest of her life writing music with her younger sister, Lea. Then Lea dies in a car accident, and her mother sends her away to live with her aunt in Hawaii while she deals with her own grief. While not the main focal point of the book, Rumi does grapple throughout the story about where exactly she lands on the ace and aro spectrum—and whether she has to label herself at all.

59. Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee In this queer rom-com, a transgender teen must decide if he's dedicated to romantic formulas or open to unpredictable love after an internet troll attack on his blog compels him and a fan to start fake-dating. Through an unlikely friendship with sweet, grounded Devin, who is Cuban American, asexual, and experimenting with pronouns, Noah--initially self-centered and standoffish--learns to value communication and empathy.

60. The Reckless Kind by Carly Heath In 1904 Norway, Asta runs away from her horrible fiancé to live with her two best friends. The three misfits set out to win the annual Christmas sleigh race to prove that they belong together. Queer asexual hard of hearing protagonist with heterochromia of Norwegian descent.

61. Forward March by Skye Quinlan How can band geek Harper have the chance of becoming the First Daughter with a fake dating profile? However, Harper does know that the drumline leader swiped right. Come along with Harper as she explores her truth during her last year of high school. Asexual-questioning cis female MC with anxiety and asthma.

62. Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger What if America had monsters, magic, and interdimensional beings? For Elatsoe, this is real, and she has to uncover her cousin's murder! She can do this with the help of her ghost dog, Kirby, but has to remember not to wake human ghosts. Aromantic ace main character. Paranormal mystery. Casual representation which extends to Ellie’s identity as Lipan Apache. This identity is asserted more often and firmly than her asexuality, and Little Badger drops in nuggets of education for us settlers about what Indigenous people, and the Lipan Apache in particular, suffered at the hands of settlers.

63. All Out: The No-Longer-Secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages by Editor Robin Talley A collection of short fantasy stories, featuring a variety of queer characters across multiple sexualities and genders. Features an asexual roller-skating girl from the 70s struggling to explain her identity to her crush.

64. Black Wings Beating by Alex London Twins Brysen and Kylee live in a world that revers the power of the falconers, but in a world where war approaches, they aren’t safe. Hunted for their power, they work together to trap the Ghost Eagle. Kylee is an ace character, focused on protecting her brother.

Graphic Novels

65. A-okay by Jarad Greene Eight grade can be tough, especially if you have acne and bullies, and lose friends. But our relatable asexual and aromantic protagonist, Jay, pulls through. This is a relatable memoir with colorful artwork.

66. How to Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing up Asexual by Rebecca Burgess A comic memoir detailing the author Rebecca Burgess's experience with growing up asexual in a world obsessed with sex. Also talks about her experiences with her own mental health and OCD.

67. Jughead, Volume 1 by Chip Zdarsky A comic book reboot of the Archie comics centered around Jughead Jones. Follows an aromantic asexual main character in typical Archie-style shenanigans. Part 1 of a 3 part series.

68. A Quick & Easy Guide to Asexuality by Molly Muldoon A charming introduction to asexuality, created to shed light on the misconceptions surrounding sex and being asexual. Told by writer Molly Muldoon and cartoonist Will Hernandez, both on the asexual spectrum.

69. Is Love the Answer? by Isaki Uta A poignant coming-of-age story about a young woman coming into her own as she discovers her identity as aromantic asexual. A complete story in a single volume, from the creator of "Mine-kun is Asexual."

Domestic Fiction

70. Have You Seen Luis Velez by Catherine Ryan Hyde Raymond Jaffe feels like he doesn't belong. Not with his mother's new family. Not as a weekend guest with his father and his father's wife. Not at school, where he's an outcast. After his best friend moves away, Raymond has only two real connections: to the feral cat he's tamed and to a blind ninety-two-year-old woman in his building who's introduced herself with a curious question: Have you seen Luis Velez? Mildred Gutermann, a German Jew who narrowly escaped the Holocaust, has been alone since her caretaker disappeared. She turns to Raymond for help, and as he tries to track Luis down, a deep and unexpected friendship blossoms between the two. Raymond is asexual (to be precise, he is aroace) And he is depicted as kind, loving, sensitive and realistic.

Fantasy

71. In the Lives of the Puppets by TJ Klune In a strange little home built into the branches of a grove of trees, live three robots--fatherly inventor android Giovanni Lawson, a pleasantly sadistic nurse machine, and a small vacuum desperate for love and attention. Victor Lawson, a human, lives there too. They're a family, hidden and safe. Protagonist: Vic, A curious, loving, & asexual human.

72. The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon In the mid-21st century major world cities are controlled by a formidable security force and clairvoyant underworld cell member Paige commits acts of psychic treason before being captured by an otherworldly race that would make her a part of their supernatural army. Demisexual main character.

73. The Perfect Assassin by K.A. Doore Divine justice is written in blood. Or so Amastan has been taught. As a new assassin in the Basbowen family, he's already having second thoughts about taking a life. A scarcity of contracts ends up being just what he needs. Until, unexpectedly, Amastan finds the body of a very important drum chief. Until, inevitably, Amastan is ordered to solve these murders, before the family gets blamed. Amastan is asexual and, as it turns out, homoromantic.

74. The Bruising of Quilwa by Naseem Jamnia Firuz-e Jafari was able to escape the slaughter of traditional blood magic practitioners by immigrating to the city-state of Qilwa. But now a terrible disease is spreading through the city, and Firuz believes it comes from ineptly performed blood magic. Now they must find a way to break a cycle of prejudice in order to survive. From the author: it's about an aroace nonbinary refugee healer who is trying to cure a magical plague in their new home while hiding their blood magic.

75. The Midnight Bargain by C. L. Polk The Midnight Bargain is a story "set in a world reminiscent of Regency England, where women's magic is taken from them when they marry. A sorceress must balance her desire to become the first great female magician against her duty to her family. Ysbeta has a clear goal for her life: to discover and share magic. Besides loving learning for its own sake, Ysbeta is asexual, and wealthy in her own right, so the bargaining season offers her literally nothing.

76. Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire Set in a world where a group of children have the ability to find and enter doorways into magical worlds, and now must find who's targetting them for this ability. Lead by an female asexual main character, with a trans love interest. First book in a series of novellas.

Science Fiction

77. The First Sister by Linden A. Lewis She's a priestess of the Sisterhood, traveling the stars alongside the soldiers of Earth who own the rights to her body and soul. When her former captain abandons her, First Sister's hopes for freedom are dashed and she is forced to stay on her ship with no friends, no status, and a new captain she knows nothing about. When the Mother, leader of her order, asks her to spy on Captain Saito Ren, First Sister discovers that sacrificing for the war effort is so much harder to do when your loyalties are split. He climbed his way out of the slums to become an elite soldier of Venus, but now he's haunted by his failures and the loss of his partner Hiro. But when Lito learns that Hiro is alive, but a traitor, and he's assigned to hunt Hiro down, and kill them, Lito must decide what he is actually fighting for - the society that raised him, or himself. As the battle to control Ceres reaches a head, Lito and First Sister must decide what - and whom - they are willing to sacrifice in the name of duty, or for love. Hispanic panromantic asexual protagonist (Lito).

78. Firebreak by Nicole Kornher-Stace Mal is one of many war survivors in the old town working multiple jobs to scrimp by, one of which is her team's streaming video game play. The team lives with several other roommates in a converted hotel room run by Stellaxis, the company that owns half of town, and is the only legal provider of drinkable water. When Mal catches sight of an elusive SecOps character, special non-player characters (NPCs) modeled after Stellaxis' twelve bioengineered operatives, the team pursues her inside the game to catch her on video for two seconds before their power curfew kicks in. By the time Mal heads down for her daily ration of water, they've secured a lucrative contract, involving an in-person meeting and a conspiracy theory, paying them to capture images of the three living SecOps characters. When Mal returns to find out why the next payment failed, she becomes involved in a fracas that will endanger everyone she knows. Aroace main character.

79. To be Taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers Four astronauts set out to explore the galaxy. This journey spans centuries and many worlds. A thought provoking read that explores the themes of loneliness and sense of purpose. Excellent cast of diverse characters and vivid world building. Chikondi is asexual and the text is careful to note that his relationship to the protagonist is no less emotional or vital than those she shares with people she is sexually involved with.

80. The Circus Infinite by Khan Wong What better person to take down a crime boss than a mixed-species fugitive! Join Jes on this exciting tale of espionage, torture, demolition. Sex-averse panromantic asexual lead character

Historical Fiction

81. Kaikeyi by Vasihnavi Patel The only daughter of the kingdom of Kekaya, she is raised on grand stories about the might and benevolence of the gods. Yet she watches as her father unceremoniously banishes her mother, her own worth measured by how great a marriage alliance she can secure. And when she calls upon the gods for help, they never seem to hear. Desperate for some measure of independence, she turns to the ancient texts she once read with her mother and discovers a magic that is hers alone. Kaikeyi is asexual and aromantic. Although the words "asexual" and "aromantic" aren't used in the book.

Western

82. The Complete Lady Ruth Constance Chapelstone Chronicles by L. C. Mawson If you’re looking for steampunk magic, the Lady Ruth Constance Chapelstone novellas are the place for you. Read them individually or all together in this compendium. Chapelstone is interested in her inventions, not love and romance.

Paranormal

83. The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Homes by Joseph Fink Told in a series of eerie flashbacks, the story of The Faceless Old Woman goes back centuries to reveal an initially blissful and then tragic childhood on a Mediterranean Estate in the early nineteenth century, her rise in the criminal underworld of Europe, a nautical adventure with a mysterious organization of smugglers, her plot for revenge on the ones who betrayed her, and ultimately her death and its aftermath, as her spirit travels the world for decades until settling in modern-day Night Vale. Asexual secondary character.

Romance  

84. All the Wrong Places by Ann Gallagher After his three ex-girlfriends in a row leave Brennan because he's not fulfilling their sexual needs, he seeks out advice from Zafir, the owner of a sex shop. Zafir introduces Brennan to the concept of asexuality and slowly something more blossoms between them.

85. That Kind of Guy by Talia Hibbert Rae needs a fake date to take to her ex's wedding and convinces Zach, a close friend who has recently discovered that he is demisexual, to play along.

86. The Love Hypothesis by Ali Hazelwood In an attempt to convince her best friend that she really is over her ex-boyfriend, grad-student Olive panic kisses stern associate professor Adam in the hallway. (Olive is coded as demisexual/graysexual, but that label is never used in the book).

87. Far From Home by Lorelie Brown The oddest of odd couples finds unexpected joy in Brown’s warm, sweet contemporary romance. American citizen Rachel, a not-quite-asexual assistant film producer struggling to make a living in L.A., is drowning in student debt; Indian immigrant Pari Sadashiv, a lesbian logistics manager, needs a U.S. green card to advance her career. When Rachel offers to marry Pari in exchange for funds, it’s just party banter at first—but what’s to stop them from crafting a friendship with legal and financial benefits? Their platonic plans quickly go awry as Pari’s mother moves in to help plan the wedding, forcing them to live their lie. As Rachel feels herself awakening to an attraction she didn’t even know was possible, Pari has to decide whether she can live with the possible fallout of Rachel’s tentative first foray into same-sex love.

88. Kiss Her Once for Me by Alison Cochrun Last Christmas, Ellie met Jack in Powell’s when they both went for a copy of Alison Bechdel’s Fun Home, and over a cute argument over “shared custody”, and Jack poking gentle fun at Ellie (who had been crying alone and talking to a footstool as if it were her friend) they start to bond. Jack asks Ellie for coffee, and then they end up spending the whole day together. This is a big deal for Ellie, who is demisexual, and rarely develops attractions to anyone. And then Jack breaks her heart. Fast-forward to this Christmas when Andrew, the landlord who owns the building she works in, asks her to fake-marry him so he can access his inheritance, and shenanigans lead to her agreeing to this and to going home with him for Christmas, and surprise! Jack is Andrew’s sister.

89. The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun Tech wunderkind Charlie has never really been interested in dating, but agrees to join the cast of reality show 'Ever After.' While there he finds himself charmed by his producer, Dev, and questioning his sexuality. The Charm Offensive includes a conversation discussing asexuality and its spectrum.

90. Never Been Kissed by Timothy Janovsky Wren Roland has never been kissed, but he wants that movie-perfect ending more than anything. Thanks to Mateo’s boyfriend, he learns about demisexuality and realizes that when he came out as gay, he had not finished realizing truths about himself and intimate relationships.

91. How to be a Normal Person by TJ Klune Before The House on the Cerulean Sea blew up, Klune wrote this quirky and delightful story of two asexual people finding each other and their happily ever after.

92. Soft on Soft by Mina Waheed This super sweet, low-angst romance centers on two fat, queer women of colour (one Black and one Persian-Arab) who fall in love and find their happy ending with hardly any drama. There’s also anxiety representation. It’s just pure fluffy romance goodness. Demisexual protagonist.

Non-Fiction

93. Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing your Asexual or Aromantic Identity by The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project What does it mean to be ace or aro? How should I approach the challenges that come with being ace or aro? How can I best support the ace and aro people in my life? Join the The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP) for a deep dive into the process of discovering and embracing your ace and aro identities. Empower yourself to explore the nuances of your identity, find and develop support networks, explore different kinds of partnership, come out to your communities and find real joy within. Combining a rigorous exploration of identity and sexuality models with hundreds of candid and poignant testimonials -- this companion vouches for your personal truth, wherever you lie on the aspec spectrum. You are not invisible! You are among friends.

94. Being Ace: An Anthology of Queer, Trans, Femme, and Disabled Stories of Asexual Love and Connection by Editor Madeline Dyer Discover the infinite realms of asexual love across sci-fi, fantasy, and contemporary stories From a wheelchair user racing to save her kidnapped girlfriend and a little mermaid who loves her sisters more than suitors, to a slayer whose virgin blood keeps attracting monsters, the stories of this anthology are anything but conventional. Whether adventuring through space, outsmarting a vengeful water spirit, or surviving haunted cemeteries, no two aces are the same in these 14 unique works that highlight asexual romance, aromantic love, and identities across the asexual spectrum

95. Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen A non-fiction research book about the asexual perspective on society's facinations with love and sex, and the misconceptions about what being asexual really is and what it means to a person.

96. The Invisible Orientation: an Introduction to Asexuality by Julia Sondra Decker An introduction to what asexuality is, both for people who don't know what that means and for people that may be questioning their own sexuality. It aims to puts asexual people's experiences in context, as they move through a very sexualized world.

97. Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe A graphic memoir about author Kobabe's growing from adolescence to adulthood, as e explores eir gender identity and sexuality. Features a gender queer and asexual main character that uses e/eir pronouns.

98. Ace Voices What it Means to Be Asexual, Aromantic, Demi or Grey-Ace by Eris Young This is the ace community in their own words. Drawing upon interviews with a wide range of people across the asexual spectrum, Eris Young is here to take you on an empowering, enriching journey through the rich multitudes of asexual life.

99. I Am Ace: Adice on Living Your Best Asexual Life by Cody Daigle-Orians Tackling everything from what asexuality is, the asexual spectrum and tips on coming out, to intimacy, relationships, acephobia and finding joy, this guide will help you better understand your asexual identity alongside deeply relatable anecdotes drawn from Cody's personal experience.

100. Sounds Fake But Okay: An Asexual and Aromantic Perspective on Love, Relationships, Sex, and Pretty Much Anything Else by Sarah Costello and Kayla Kaszyca Drawing on their personal stories, and those of aspec friends all over the world, prepare to explore your microlabels, investigate different models of partnership, delve into the intersection of gender norms and compulsory sexuality and reconsider the meaning of sex - when allosexual attraction is out of the equation.

I haven't read all of these books, so I can't guarantee all of them. But I did my best researching all of them. I was making this list on my own and I was amazed that I could find over 100 books with asexual characters and I wanted to share it!

The Aromantic Book List is now out!

Tagging some people who were excited about this list: @sweetspiderstew @majorgenerally @shayberri789 @53rdcenturyhero @knightoflodis @neonghost39 @rosaazulina

[itsrlymine]

idk if you’ve answered this before or if it’s something you may not want to answer but i was wondering how your journey from the early stages of finding out about manifesting up until knowing you’re the operant power and your full potential was like

my manifesting journey so far

Hello my love! I think I just haven't seen the question yet but I would love to answer!

As far as I'm concerned, I knew manifesting as manifesting around the time I was 18 and in my first year of university. But ofc, I was manifesting the whole time before. The university I went to had the lowest acceptance percentage ever but I still managed to get in even with my grades that didn't meet their requirements and i didn't even do the college essay that everyone else had to do. I remember just deciding over and over that I would go there no matter what anybody said. I was told it was expensive and I didn't care, I was gonna go anyways. It was $40k/yr at the time and I got $36k worth of scholarship....... I just thought that was just luck.

Before then, I was obsessed with One Direction and 5 Seconds Of Summer like y'all it was bad! I wanted to see them in concert so freakin bad, it was like my life depended on it. I literally manifested them coming to my state and to a city that people don't really tour all the time and yall!!!!! I was like right in front of them and I def passed out hearing Zayn sing live. I saw both bands live together, it was incredible. I used subliminals to clear my skin in high school as well but eventually forgot about them.

I think having my dad tell me I could do anything I wanted is what lead me to believe that if I wanted something, it was automatically mine.

In college, I would always have s*x with the guys i wanted just by visualizing or saying they wanted me sooo bad (still works now!). I would make up friend groups in my head and then find that i would be in them not even two weeks later. I watched "The Secret" in my first year and that was really transformational for me bc I always felt like I was failing God and my family bc I didn't want to go the medical route/even finish college.

The summer of 2021, I was 22 and at home with my parents and broke asf and i said no more! I started consciously manifesting again even though I didn't know that's what it was called. I decided I would get a job in marketing that would pay me over $70k/yr even though I had one month of experience and only certifications in the field. Did that matter??? Of course not!!!!! It was remote and had unlimited pto and i could go on as many vacations a year as I wanted. I found out about the law a month after I started my job but for some reason, it felt so complicated and I found myself trying so damn hard rather than just reminding myself how I got what I wanted before. literally inner conversations, visualizing and talking out loud about my desires.

What made me realize I could manifest anything was when I changed my menstrual cycle and went to Dubai for free twice. What the 3d looks like never matters especially when it came to my cycle, I deadass couldn't see how my internal organs would change according to what I wanted but ofc they changed anyways. it was shortened and I haven't had cramps in months. Going to Dubai for free by imagining Abdullah slamming the door in my face and telling me I was in Dubai. I literally made a pinterest board of where I'd go in Dubai and I went to every single place. I would tell myself over and over that I'm gonna leave my wallet at home because everyone was gonna pay for me bc we are rich asf duh!. When I tell y'all that's exactly what happened!!!!

I've manifested so other "crazy" stuff but yea these ones definitely altered my brain chemistry.

[starrrcane]

The Underworld Beneath Piltover chapter one:The surface

Summery: Sevika x nurse!reader who has graduated from a university in Piltover and has been stationed in the Undercity to provide services to those who cannot afford it, where she meets sevika.

Warning: none for this chapter. But eventual smut

Notes: this is my first multiple chapter fanfiction, if this does well I might actually write multiple parts. This takes place pre-act one season 1

Piltover had always been a city of stark contrasts—gleaming towers of progress, their glass facades reflecting an unyielding sun, while the Underbelly beneath it writhed in shadow. The bustle of innovation and intellect existed above, while violence, desperation, and survival ruled the depths below. But for you, freshly graduated from the prestigious medical university of Piltover, there was only one truth: the city was a place of opportunity. It was a chance to prove your worth, to be a part of something larger, something that would make your parents proud. That is, until your advisors handed you a peculiar assignment.

"Go to the Undercity," they had said, with a sort of dismissive finality. "We have an agreement with a businessman named Silco. He runs some operations down there, and you’ll be helping with whatever injuries his people get into."

Silco. A name you had heard whispered in huddled corners, spoken with a reverence that both intrigued and unsettled you. You had expected it to be just another simple job—work with the injured, make your rounds, keep the peace.

You were wrong.

---

The hum of the city above was a distant murmur as you stepped off the rickety elevator that took you into the depths of Zaun, the Underworld where little sunlight reached, and the air was thick with the smell of chemicals and oil. The people here lived in constant struggle—fighting for their survival, for any scrap of hope in a city that seemed to ignore them.

At first glance, the place was dark, chaotic, and a little terrifying, but the further you ventured, the more you realized it was a world of its own—raw, dangerous, but oddly familiar. A place where only the strongest survived, and in your case, the most skilled healer.

"Welcome to your new home," said a voice from behind you, cool and composed.

You turned to see a woman—tall, with dark hair, and an aura that radiated control and authority. Her eyes, however, were sharp, like knives. Sevika.

She was Silco’s right hand women. You had heard of her, of course, the enforcer, the one who kept things running smoothly in the shadows of Zaun. Her reputation preceded her: cold, efficient, and—at least from what you had gathered—somehow untouchable.

"Silco has assigned me to show you around," Sevika continued, her tone as neutral as ever, though there was a slight edge to it that suggested she wasn’t exactly thrilled by the task. "Don’t expect any luxury here. This isn’t Piltover."

Her eyes narrowed as she glanced at you, though there was no clear sign of animosity. Just... wariness. A wariness that somehow felt more personal than professional.

"I don’t need a tour," you said, trying to meet her gaze with equal intensity. You could handle this. You had been trained for this. "Just point me to where I’ll be staying."

"Right down the hall." Sevika gestured toward a door that was far less polished than what you were accustomed to, but you would make do. You had no choice.

"And I assume you’ll be living nearby," you added, though it was more of a statement than a question. You had heard about her proximity to Silco’s operations, and the way people spoke of her hinted at a strange, almost familial bond.

She paused, just for a second, before nodding. "Right next door."

The words hung between you, their meaning ambiguous, like a challenge in disguise.

Sevika turned on her heel and walked away, her heavy boots clicking against the steel floor. You followed her down the hallway, your mind racing. There was something about her—the way she carried herself, the way her eyes lingered for just a fraction of a second too long on your face—that made you uneasy. But there was more to it than that. There was an unspoken tension, a magnetic pull between you that you couldn't quite define.

---

Later that evening, in the solitude of your apartment, you began to unpack your things. The room was sparse, though functional—a bed, a small desk, a few shelves for supplies. You could almost hear the hum of the city outside, the pulse of it echoing in the walls. But it was quieter here than it had been in Piltover. The silence felt almost oppressive.

The window overlooking the dim streets of Zaun cast a pale light over your work, and for the first time, you allowed yourself to think about what you had gotten into. This was no ordinary assignment. Silco wasn’t just a businessman, as your advisors had suggested. He was a kingpin, a figure in the underworld of Zaun who controlled everything from crime to the very air they breathed. And you were here to heal his people—his *henchmen*, as some called them.

A knock at your door interrupted your thoughts.

You opened it to find Sevika standing in the hallway, her arms crossed over her chest, as if she were weighing whether or not to speak.

"I’ll be going on a supply run tonight," she said, her voice low. "We’re going to need you to patch up some of the boys once we get back. Nothing too severe, but... be ready."

You nodded, still uncertain about the woman who stood before you. She was cold, distant, and appeared to have no interest in making friends with you. But there was something about the way she stood, the way her gaze flicked over you with a strange intensity.

She was trying not to care.

"Sure. I’ll be ready," you replied, though you couldn’t help but notice the way her eyes lingered on you for a moment longer than necessary before she turned away.

"Good," Sevika said, her voice just a little softer than before. "Don’t get too comfortable. The Undercity has a way of breaking people."

And with that, she walked off down the hall, disappearing into the darkness of the night.

---

In the silence that followed, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted. Sevika was difficult to read, but you could feel the tension between you—subtle, unspoken, yet undeniable. She was trying her best not to like you, to keep her distance, to remain indifferent. But that was fine, you thought. You didn’t need her approval. You had your own mission.

Still, the more time you spent in the Underworld, the more you realized that there were some things—some people—that couldn’t be ignored.

And Sevika... Sevika was definitely one of them.

[hcsiqs]

| ALLIE’S MASTERLIST ! 🖇️

200 CELLY MASTERLIST

| WNBA

: ̗̀➛ # 20 KATE MARTIN, las vegas aces

˚ෆ rockin around the christmas tree

summary: after a long night of being at sofia’s parents’ christmas party, kate can’t wait to be back in their own home celebrating the holiday together.

˚ෆ bad idea, right?

summary: upcoming singer!reader is on live and kate appears in the background, causing all fans to go crazy

˚ෆ we really were timeless

summary: part two to bad idea, right? singer!reader and kate move to vegas together after kate is drafted by the aces. reader is on live giving a house tour with kate.

˚ෆ life’s better on saturn

summary: kate and reader travel together to go to an away game for the aces in minnesota.

˚ෆ we both still young

summary: kate martin with a girlfriend whose a dancer for university of iowa

˚ෆ wanna listen to the sound of you breathing

summary: kate cuddles with girlfriend!reader after an aces practice and practically crushes reader

˚ෆ i could be a good mother

summary: picking baby names with kate

˚ෆ my girl

summary: kate is super drunk and is shy around girlfriend!reader, because she forgets you two are together. but when it’s time to go home she realizes that reader is her girlfriend and gets starstruck.

˚ෆ i see kismet sinking in

summary: kate martin head cannons with a volleyball girlfriend

˚ෆ love me like a sailor

summary: kate unexpectedly shows up to andi’s house to see if there’s a future with her

˚ෆ the love club

summary: you take your daughter to a las vegas aces game, but before it can even start she runs to her favorite player, kate martin

: ̗̀➛ # 22 CAITLIN CLARK, indiana fever

ᥫ᭡ the right side of my neck

summary: you and caitlin babysit your older sisters twin boys

ᥫ᭡like a fever, like i’m burning alive

summary: you and caitlin dated in high school but after decided to go to a college hours away you break up. you two don’t see each other during college at all until and then she’s drafted by the indiana fever, which just happens to be where you’re a medical intern.

: ̗̀➛ # 1 NIKA MÜHL, seattle storm

☾ coming soon

| WCBB

: ̗̀➛ # 5 PAIGE BUECKERS, university of connecticut

✩ slut!

summary: influencer!reader who gets called a bop and is slut shammed for no reason. paige comes to her side to comfort her and reassure her.

✩ i love you, i’m sorry

summary: inspired by gracie abrams song: i love you, i’m sorry

✩ she hold me down like gravity

summary: paige bueckers with uconn dancer girlfriend

✩ you could be my silver spring

summary: the first time paige sees you is when you sing the national anthem for opening night her sophomore year. then after getting a record deal and moving away she sees you performing for the wnba all star half time.

: ̗̀➛ # 2 KK ARNOLD, university of connecticut

𖦹 pretty girl

summary: doing skin care with kk

𖦹 hit me hard and soft series masterlist

summary: aurelia’s team decides that due to her love of women sports and how much attention she had brought to it last year during march madness, they want her to fake date KK arnold in order to keep the same momentum for this upcoming season.

𖦹 begin again

summary: based on taylor swift’s begin again

: ̗̀➛ # 35 AZZI FUDD, university of connecticut

𐙚 coming soon

: ̗̀➛ # 25 ICE BRADY, university of connecticut

𖤓 coming soon

: ̗̀➛ # 23 MORGAN CHELI, university of connecticut

𓆸 now that you know me so well

summary: morgan has a crush on you but doesn’t know how to tell you, so every time she’s around you she’s internally freaking out

: ̗̀➛ # 3 GEORGIA AMOORE, university of kentucky

❉ coming soon

: ̗̀➛ # 8 JANA EL ALFY, university of connecticut

❀ coming soon

| MOOD BOARDS

: ̗̀➛ kate martin x cheerleader

[nasa]

HBCU Students Make Moves with NASA Tech

In September 2023, students at HBCUs participated in a hackathon at the National HBCU Week Conference, where they used NASA’s technologies to create solutions to problems that affect Black communities. The winning team, Team Airtek, proposed a nano-sensor array for medical diagnoses that would give students on HBCU campuses a non-invasive, non-intensive way to test themselves for precursors for diseases and illnesses like diabetes and COVID.

The hackathon they participated in is a modified version of the full NASA Minority University Research and Education Project Innovation and Tech Transfer Idea Competition (MITTIC) that takes place each fall and spring semester at NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston.

No matter what you’re studying, you can join the MITTIC competition and come up with new and innovative tech to help your community and the world.

MITTIC could be the beginning of your career pathway: Teams can go on exclusive NASA tours and network with industry experts. Show off your entrepreneurial skills and your team could earn money—and bragging rights.

Don’t wait too long to apply or to share with someone who should apply! The deadline for proposals is Oct. 16, 2023. Apply here: https://microgravityuniversity.jsc.nasa.gov/nasamittic.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

Who was Paracelsus?

Paracelsus was the screen name of Philippus Bombastus Romastus Fantastus Supercalafragalisticexpialadastus von South-Stuttgart-Next-To-The-University-Cafeteria-With-The-Zig-Zag-Roof. His name Paracelsus literally means "Better than Celsus." We do not know who Celsus may have been, but the name is likely a reference to St. Jerome Para-Ezra of Baton Rouge, who was known in his time to have been far better than Ezra.

Paracelsus invented many of the medical techniques used from medieval times to the modern medical revolution, including bleeding, leeching, exsanguination, draining blood from the patient, and ultra-hemorrhagic-cleansing. He also coined the phrase "Only the dose determines the poison," as well as its corollary, "You can eat anything, just some things you can only eat once," and the less impressive but better known, "He who smelt it, dealt it." This was all considered an advancement over the old theory of bodily humors, which is why Paracelsus's friends all said he was a humorless bastard, or so he kept claiming.

Paracelsus was married in a Rosicrucian ceremony based on the Chemical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz, which was of course preceded by Chemical Engagement and a Chemical Romance involving a black parade, the theatrical faking of several deaths, and a great deal of sodium (a mass scientifically abbreviated as Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na). To whom he was married is a matter of much debate, with potential spouses speculated to include Shakespeare, Queen Elizabeth I, Queen Elizabeth II, Martin Luther, Galileo, Ivan the Terrible, Thomas Hobbes, John Calvin, Catherine Di Medici, the Popes Alexander V-VIII, or possibly all at once.

Paracelsus died in the 1540s after suffering a minor splinter which he treated with his own experimental technique known as "setting the patient on fire and stabbing him with a fork in his balls until he barfs then laughing at him." He was then cremated with his urn displayed at the University of Hohenheim for several centuries, until he was accidentally misplaced during an American tour and is presumed to have been used as ash in some Humboldt Fog Cheese, which was considered an affront to his Swiss heritage.

Also he apparently invented Zinc. Good job.

[guttergirlcore]

You've got me hooked with that Cregan fic! Could you continue it with him returning to his Lady after the fortnight? Maybe he's injured and she takes care of him pls?

Love this idea! How'd u know I have a thing for vulnerable war-torn men??

A Den of Lions & Wolves: Part II

Cregan Stark x Lannister! Reader

SERIES MASTERLIST

SYNOPSIS // It has been well over a week since your wedding night to the Wolf of Winterfell, Lord Cregan Stark. While he's away negotiating an alliance with a far-away dynasty, you are left to take in your strange surroundings. When Cregan returns to your bed wounded, you find there's much more to heal than just his broken skin.

WARNINGS // HotD universe, fluff, bit of smut, Lannister!reader, AFAB she/her reader, mentions of familial trauma, angst, injured!Cregan, light mentions of gore, low-key modern medical practices but give me a break--idk what maesters were doing back in 2 BC

>>READ RESPONSIBLY<<

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Word count: 1.4k

The sunlight streamed in from the northern window, bathing you in its warm morning embrace.

It had been nearly two weeks since you'd last seen your husband, Lord Cregan Stark of Winterfell. Though you didn't know the man past the one heady night the two of you shared, you couldn't deny the pang in your heart that resembled longing.

Still, you allowed yourself to bask in the familiar comfort of solitude, however unusual your surroundings.

The days in Lord Stark's absence allowed you to tour your new home, and you found that Northerners could be rather kind, in a plain and uncalculated way. You often found yourself marveling at how different this all was from the place you grew up in. In House Lannister, kindness wasn't encouraged. People were but pawns to maneuver and discard when necessary in a greater game.

You shook yourself from these bleak thoughts of home. This was home now.

Dressed in the clothing your handmaidens left out for you, you eyed your reflection in the mirrored surface. The North was much colder than you had anticipated, so the heavy furs were a new and necessary part of your wardrobe.

You left the room you and Cregan were to share as a wedded couple and traced the short path to the Stark library. Pushing open the heavy wooden door, you were greeted by the warm glow of oil lamps and the scent of parchment and ink.

You could spend many hours losing yourself in literature. It had always been as such, as you were often forgotten of in your ancestral home. With books, you always belonged.

As you pulled a dust-coated, leather-bound book from the shelves, you settled into your favorite chair at the corner of the room for another long day of reading.

Perhaps Lord Stark would not be around much after all. Before your wedding day, you would have been pleased at the thought. Now, it left you with a lingering feeling of disappointment.

The night hummed with the howl of blistering wind and snow. It was nearly deafening. You pulled the soft fur of your bed closer to your face for warmth against the cold.

Just as you shifted, the bed dipped low, indicating the presence of another. Startled, you jumped into an upright position, pulling the blankets over your scantily-clad body.

"Rest now, it's only me." Lord Stark hummed.

In the dim glow of the night, you could just make out his large, imposing figure at the foot of the bed.

"Husband! I hadn't known you'd return tonight." You stumbled out anxiously. He'd told you he would have you again when he returned, and now, here he was. You'd have liked a raven's notice of his return ahead of time so that you might have mentally and physically prepared yourself for the night ahead, but you sensed that Lord Stark's return was quite unplanned.

Lord Stark walked to the side table and pulled a match from the drawer, lighting a couple of candles. In the flare of the match, his rugged face was illuminated, the light catching on a deep, weeping gash above his right eyebrow. The skin below his brow and alongside his eye was bruising shades of purple and hazy yellow at the edges.

"Lord Stark, you are hurt." You startled out.

"Negotiations haven't gone as planned. It's but a flesh wound, really. The Maesters can mend me in the morn," he grumbled back.

"No need. I picked up some small medical knowledge during my schooling. I am no Maester, but allow me to stitch your wound." You were shocked by your own admission. Usually, you wouldn't be so bold, but something about seeing this great, infallible man wounded struck a cord within you.

He eyed you warily for a few moments more. "Alright then, but be quick about it."

You nodded curtly and stood from the bed to cross to the cabinet at the far corner of the room. Within it, you found the necessary supplies.

As you turned, supplies in hand, you were met with Lord Stark pulling off his furs, leather pelts, and undershirt. A dark bruise bloomed in shades of purple, violet, and indigo along his toned side, just above his britches. You winced at the image.

"Got that during negotiations as well?" You asked.

Cregan made a grunt of acknowledgment and sat heavily at the side of the bed. The frame bowed and creaked with his weight.

You approached cautiously, as you could see just how reluctant Lord Stark was to even let you witness him wounded. It genuinely seemed that the greatest thing to harm the Wolf of Winterfell was another seeing his softness.

"I can tend to that, also," you nodded to the wound at his side. Cregan said nothing, but watched you warily, as always.

You dragged a chair to sit in front of your husband, beginning your ministrations on his face first. As you brought the disinfectant to his cut, his slate grey eyes met yours and you had to quickly look away before his gaze made you entirely lose focus.

"The handmaidens tell me you enjoy reading," Cregan said, unexpectantly.

"Yes. Yes, I do, very much." You nodded your head as you threaded the thin needle.

"They also tell me you've visited the library several times in my absence."

You nod once more, unsure of the direction this conversation is going.

"The Stark library is vast, but I must admit, I haven't much patience for reading. I'm afraid I am not as well-versed in the selection as I'd like to be."

There's a moment of hesitation before he continues.

"My obligations have kept me away from my home for quite some time now, even before our union. I know this is far from ideal for a wedded Lady, and you must find things to occupy your time..."

"What I mean to say is...If you have need for a greater selection, all you need do is ask and I will make sure you are provided for." Cregan's expression, though obviously uncomfortable, is earnest.

"You haven't known me long, but you must know I will always provide for you, my Lady Wife."

You nod your head in understanding, taken by this sudden display of tenderness from the usually burly Lord Stark.

"I am quite satisfied with the selection, Lord Stark, I assure you." You smile reassuringly.

"Cregan, please." He insists and you nod once.

Your arm raises to place the first stitch above his brow. As the needle pierces his flesh, Cregan lets out a sharp hiss of pain, grabbing your wrist in his large hand.

"I'm sorry, my Lord. My stitching is straight, but the process isn't pleasant. Perhaps I can call for milk of the poppy? It is late, but I may be able to--"

"I have other ideas for ways to ease the pain." Cregan cuts you off with his husky voice, still holding tightly to your enclosed wrist.

He pulls you towards him and you have no choice but to stand above him. Eyes never leaving yours, his hands release you only to reach below the hem of your nightgown, pushing the thin fabric up until his rough fingers hook around the sides of your undergarment, pulling them down your legs in one swift motion. You shivered at the sensation.

You stepped out of them and watched as Cregan reached for the laces at the front of his pants, barely containing his hardening length. He loosened the laces just enough to free his cock, and it sprang forth, inviting you closer.

"I want you to sit on me," Cregan replied simply, taking your hands once more to draw you closer.

Nervously, you straddled your husband, waiting for further instruction. His rough hands found the tops of your thighs, splaying his fingers across them and slowly applying pressure until you bowed under their weight.

You slowly sank down on him, his cock first spreading you, then impaling until your hips were flush against his. The stretch was tight, but pleasurable after many nights apart.

"That's a good girl," Cregan moaned. "Now stay still for me, and I will for you."

You nodded silently, shakily raising the threaded needle to his brow again as he gripped your thighs painfully.

As the needle threaded flesh, you could feel Cregan throb within you, as did you around him.

Cregan's eyes closed and he tipped his head back slightly, enjoying the sensation of you squeezing around him.

It wasn't long before the cut was closed and you tied off the knot before snipping the rest off.

Cregan lifted his face to yours and smiled an almost devilish grin.

"You're not done, little wolf."

[shmaptainwrites]

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 [𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐍]

PAIRINGS — James Wilson x fem!Reader

SUMMARY — James has a huge crush on his labmate, the only question is how long will it take him to ask her out? (Answer: it's longer than you think)

WARNINGS — cancer mentions, patient death from cancer, drugs, alcohol (don't be mistaken this fic is tooth-rotting fluff)

NOTE — Okay this fic has come up from my compulsory need to elaborate on anything Canadian so if you ever wanted to see James at McGill, this fic is most definitely for you! Also I guess it's indirectly mentioned that reader was raised in Quebec, but obviously doesn't have to be "Quebecois" for this to work

Pronounciation — Jian = Chyehn

James chewed on the inside of his cheek as he walked up to the Stewart Biological Sciences Building on McGill campus. For some reason, it was so much more intimidating now that he was actually a student. During the tour he had his mother’s reassuring hand on his back, his father’s words of comfort that he would most definitely be accepted when he applied. 

Now that he had made it, he had to prove he belonged, but it could have been worse. His friends at Harvard and the University of Toronto had told him so. He was getting the best of both worlds, a prestigious school and, hopefully, not as much pressure as the rest of them. 

Without loitering any longer, he made his way inside and looked around to find the right lecture hall. It couldn’t possibly be that hard, could it?

After his first semester James had realized he’d made a few mistakes. One was living in a French speaking part of town without knowing a lick of the language, but that one was the easiest to deal with. The others were more in the realm of the amount of sleep he was getting and underestimating how much content the professors could shove down their throats in 14 weeks. 

He was more than happy to return to New Jersey for the holiday break to rest and recuperate before going back to the winter wonderland hell that was Montreal, but this time he was confident he would be more prepared. 

And for the most part, he was. He got enough sleep, partied responsibly (except Fridays, he partied hard then), always submitted his work on time and maintained his good GPA, making up for his poor fall semester. What he didn’t expect, however, was a distraction. 

When you walked into the room James watched you curiously, he thought maybe he’d seen you somewhere before, but he couldn’t quite place it. Besides, you were much more interesting than watching his sample boil for another five minutes. 

You came and took a seat next to him, taking out your safety goggles and lab notebook from your bag before shoving it under the table. 

“You’re sample’s boiling over,” you said, but James didn’t register you were talking to him at first, still looking at you in a slightly dazed manner before you physically pointed to the beaker, making his eyes go wide as he frantically turned down the heat and removed it. 

“It’s a wonder you passed the lab safely quiz,” you teased and James blushed. 

“Good thing I don’t want to be a chemist.” 

“Oh, and what do you want to be then?” you asked, preparing your own sample for boiling. 

“A doctor,” he shared with a little more confidence. 

“Any specialty in mind or just a doctor,” you said, doing air quotes over the word. 

“I’ve been shadowing some of the researchers in the Life Sciences Research Complex and I think oncology might be a good fit for me.” 

“Yeah, as long as you don’t have to boil cancer cells you should be fine,” you assured him. 

“What about you?” he rolled on the balls of his feet as he continued his experiment. “Or are you all talk?” 

“Pfft, you think I’d be here if I was all talk?” you asked. “No, I want to be a medical researcher.” 

“Maybe you should do some shadowing in the LSRC then.” 

“No thanks, I think I’ll stick to my job there.” 

“Your job?” James looked at your wish surprise. “Aren’t you like 18?” 

“Almost,” you smiled. 

“How did you manage to get a job there? They barely let undergraduates in the labs, let alone be responsible for anything.” 

“It’s nothing fancy,” you assured him. “I just do cataloguing for now, but it's a good experience.” 

“Still,” he raised his brows, “you must be like a prodigy or something.” 

“Again, no,” you shook your head. “Just someone who goes after what she wants.” 

There was a comfortable pause where you both took down your distillation set ups and began working on the filtration portion of the experiment. 

“So what’s your name, anyways?” you asked, looking over at him. “Hey, look, clamp it this way,” you demonstrated and he followed your lead, seeing how much more stable the glassware was afterwards. 

“Thanks,” he smiled. “I’m James.” 

You told him your name and continued your work again in silence.

Chemistry labs quickly became the favourite part of James’ week. 

Ever since that lab, James began to see you in all his classes. On more than a few occasions, he’d had to steal notes from his friends on account of forgetting to pay attention. It became an easy thing to tease him about, so his friends began calling him heart-eyes, because who was he kidding, he had a crush. 

“Get your head out of your ass, heart-eyes, I am not giving you my notes again,” his friend, Carlo, shoved his arm and whispered harshly as he could see him getting distracted. 

“Sorry,” James shook his head and began scribbling down what he had missed, his eyes darting back and forth from the board and back to you. 

“Why don’t you just ask her out?” Pierre asked him after class. “Don’t you talk all the time in the lab?” 

“More like I stare at her and she says stuff to make it not awkward,” he cringed at his own actions. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Every time I’m with her I can’t string together a sentence, and– Jesus Christ you should have seen my face last week! Full on red, like I can’t even be subtle about it!” 

“Yikes,” Jian grimaced. 

“It’s bad, I know,” James assured. 

“And this is why we call you heart-eyes,” Carlo patted James on the back. 

“Yeah, say it a little louder, maybe she’ll hear you,” James said sarcastically. 

“Who’ll hear you?” the group of boys heard a voice behind them and all their eyes went wide as they spun around and saw you. 

“No one!” Jian was quick to answer in the least nonchalant way possible, making the rest of the group, especially James, stare daggers at him. 

“It’s not no one,” Carlo attempted to save face. “Just… this girl back in uh New Jersey that James’ got the hots for,” he gained confidence with every word of the sentence before adorning a smug smile on his face and patting James yet again on the back. 

“You’re afraid a girl in New Jersey will hear you?” you looked curiously at James but he just stared blankly at you. “So you call him heart-eyes?” you instead turned your attention to his friends and they nodded. “That’s cute, maybe I’ll call you that too.” 

“Sure,” was all a red faced James could get out before you excused yourself to head over to work. 

Pierre was trying very hard to keep a straight face while you walked away and James slapped both Carlo and Jian upside the head. 

“What the hell was that! Could you not have been more obvious, Jian? And Carlo, a girl back in New Jersey? Now she thinks I’m pining for someone else!” 

“On the plus side, maybe she’ll think all your blushing around her is a circulation issue,” Pierre shrugged. 

“You guys are the worst,” James shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets, continuing to walk along the path to one of the libraries. 

“No, we just saved your ass,” Carlo caught up with him. “However terribly, but if we didn’t say anything you would have stared at her with your mouth open like a trout.” 

“Carlo does have a point,” Jian agreed, “At least we bought you a little time to get your act together.” 

James sighed, “You guys have too much faith in me.”

“You said that when I started to teach you French and you’ve come a long way with that,” Pierre said. 

“Yeah, sure I went from saying nothing to being able to say Je m'appelle James et je ne parle pas français.” 

“And what a handy sentence that is when you don’t speak French!” Pierre grinned and James couldn’t help but chuckle and shake his head. 

“Okay, I’ll try and get my act together and ask her out…and learn more French.” 

“That’s the spirit!” Carlo patted his back. “Now let’s go get a drink and relax.” 

“Maybe after we study for our physics midterm?” James nudged his friend and Jian nodded his head in agreement. 

“Fine, I guess if we have to,” Carlo sighed. 

“Not everyone is naturally good at kinematics, Carlo. Take pity on us mere mortals who have to study,” Pierre responded, eliciting a chuckle from his buddies. 

James was quiet as he thought to himself. If he could get a B on this physics test, maybe there was hope for him getting his act together after all.

—

Summer break rolled around faster than James had expected. While Jian went back to Richmond, Pierre over to Quebec City, and Carlo to Chicago, James was left alone in Montreal, working to help pay his tuition for the next year. Being an international student was no joke. 

He would have gone back to New Jersey, but the positions he applied to in Montreal paid more so it wasn’t a hard decision to make. 

His parents would come visit him for some time in July, but for the most part he was alone. 

On late nights, he’d make his way to the McDonald’s in the neighbourhood, not knowing enough French to go anywhere else nearby. At least there, most of them spoke enough English to take his order, and if not it was really easy to point to the menu. 

“It’s already done?” he asked. 

“Give us some credit, hein. We knew you were coming, we had it ready.” 

James chuckled and handed him the money for the order, exchanging it for the bag which he took to a table and sat down. 

As he was pulling out his fries from his bag he heard the chime of the door and looked up curiously to see who was coming at this time of night. 

He stopped what he was doing when he recognized you, watching as you dug through your purse and spoke to the cashier in French. You both laughed about something James couldn’t quite catch and a little while later, after you had paid they handed you a bag and an ice cream cone when James heard you say something about ‘deux cuillères’ taking the utensils they gave you and turing straight towards James’ table, pulling out the chair across from him and sitting down. 

“I thought you lived in New Jersey,” you said. 

James was still stunned that you had noticed him and couldn’t find the words to speak. 

“Hey, heart-eyes?” you waved your hand in front of his face. “You okay?” 

“Y-Yeah,” he nodded, distracting himself by pulling out his burger from his bag. 

“So why aren’t you in Jersey?” you asked. 

“Work. I got a job here, it paid better.” 

“Hmm,” you hummed thoughtfully while eating some of your fries. “And all your friends?” 

“Back with their families, unfortunately for me,” he nodded. “W-What about you?” 

“Oh, I live here,” you shrugged. “In this neighbourhood actually.” 

“You live here?” he asked. 

“That’s what I said,” you nodded. 

“And so that’s how you know French?” 

“Every kid in Quebec learns French, it’s kind of a non-negotiable,” you shared. “I gather that’s why you’re eating here.” 

“Yeah, Pierre didn’t manage to teach me enough before he left,” he sighed and started to eat his meal. 

“I could teach you if you want. I’m taking a little break this summer so I have some spare time,” you offered. 

“Oh, I don’t want to-,” 

“James, you’re gonna have a shitty summer if you don’t say yes.”

He couldn’t argue with that, it would be nice to communicate more with the people who lived around him. 

“Okay, sure, but I’m warning you, I’m a terrible student.” 

“I used to tutor one of my siblings, trust me it can’t be worse than that,” you laughed. 

You chatted a little more, finishing your meals but not before you handed James a spoon. 

“So this is cuillère then?” he asked. “I-I overheard you talking to Jean.” 

“Yeah, your pronunciation isn’t bad either,” you nodded. “Here.” 

You pushed the ice cream cone between you and began to eat it with the spoon. James had a bit of a sweet tooth and wouldn’t be one to refuse dessert so he began to share the ice cream cone with you. 

“So, are you missing your girl in New Jersey?” you asked and James cursed internally, trying to come up with a lie to tell you. 

“Um, no not really,” he shook his head. “I don’t think we would have worked out anyways.” 

“Oh, so are your friends still calling you heart-eyes?” 

He nodded his head, thinking it was better not to say anything in case he gave himself away. 

“It’s good that you recognized you wouldn’t work out before you asked her out,” you said, “Couple guys wanted to go on dates with me this year, but just didn’t seem like the right fit. Plus, I don’t really think I’m looking for anything like that right now.”

James nodded his head again, silently eating the ice cream. 

“Ever been in love, James?” you asked. 

“That’s a really loaded question to ask someone you cornered in a McDonald’s at 11 P.M.” 

You ignored his response and continued, 

“I haven’t, it seems like such a big thing, how would you even know if it was love?” 

James looked up at the ceiling, silently asking God to not let him say something stupid, 

“I think most of the time it comes on gradually, maybe you won’t even know it at first.” 

“So you have been in love,” you confirmed and he shrugged his shoulders. 

“I…I don’t know. Maybe I have.” 

“That’s not a very straightforward answer.” 

“Then maybe I haven’t. I feel like if it was love, you’d figure it out, eventually.” 

You pursed your lips and nodded your head. 

“I hope I get to fall in love,” you smiled softly to yourself. “Seems nice.” 

“Yeah,” James agreed. “It does.” 

—

A few years later… 

“So how did it go?” Jian asked, as they sat around James’ small living room. 

“It…could have been better,” James sucked in some air through his teeth, recalling a recent memory from earlier that afternoon. 

“What the fuck James! You scared the shit out of me! I could have broken the hemocytometer, do you know how much that shit costs?!” 

“Sorry!” James quickly apologized and dropped his books down on the nearest surface to help you clean up, making you look up again at him with disdain. 

“In the BSC? Really? Now we have to resterilize and all the specimens I have in there are as good as compromised.” 

“Shit,” James muttered under his breath, he was usually so much better in the lab, but the second he was with you he became a bumbling mess. “I-I’ll take care of the BSC, I’m so sorry.” 

You sighed and removed your gloves, pinching the bridge of your nose. 

“It’s not just boiling water we’re dealing with anymore, James,” you said a little more calmly than before. “You’ve gotta be more careful, okay? I’m not losing my job over this.” 

James nodded his head and went to grab the things to sterilize the biological safety cabinet and grab the new specimen from the fridge. So much for trying to get a job at LSRC to impress you. 

“I was not built to be a researcher,” James shook his head. 

“I mean, it’s not that big of a screw up, you fixed it eventually, didn’t you?” Pierre asked.

“Yeah, but not until after a thorough amount of embarrassment.” 

“I thought girls found clumsy guys endearing,” Carlo commented. 

“Not when the girl is determined to become the leading medical researcher on the continent,” James sighed. “Maybe taking this job was a bad idea. From what I can see she hasn’t even changed her opinion on dating, she hasn’t been with anyone these past three years.” 

“Do you hear that?” Carlo removed his feet from the coffee table and placed them on the ground. “You’ve been in love with her for three years and haven’t done anything about it.” 

“Who said I was in love with her? And sure, maybe I haven’t made a move, but I learnt French!” James tried to defend himself, pointing to Pierre. 

“That’s not as good of a comeback as you think it is,” Pierre shook his head. 

“I know,” James hung his head low and sat on the couch between Pierre and Jian. “We’re gonna graduate in a year and she’s not gonna know I’m in love with her.” 

“So you are in love with her?” Jian looked over at his friend sympathetically. 

James leaned back and used the heels of his palms to cover his eyes. 

“He’s gonna have a meltdown, don’t ask him that,” Pierre shook his head. 

“God, I do love her!” he exclaimed like he was just finding it out for the first time himself. 

“What did I say,” Pierre sighed. 

“Can I make it stop?” James looked over at his friends who all shrugged. “I am so screwed.” 

“This time, I think we agree with you,” Carlo took a sip of his drink. “Good luck, man.” 

James squeezed his eyes shut, he would definitely need it. 

—

The year passed to graduation and James was still sitting on his feelings. It was much too late now to say anything. You’d already been accepted to a graduate program through your work with the LSRC and James had passed his MCAT with flying colours and was on his way to medical school at Columbia. 

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he was going to miss Montreal, the city had grown on him during his time there and a part of him wished he could stay. 

His friends were also ready for the next stages in their studies, all going to different places across the continent to get their other degrees, with, of course, the promise to stay in touch. 

James didn’t know what the next little bit of his life had in store for him, but he hoped regardless of where he ended up, maybe he’d be able to make up for his missed opportunities. 

The years of medical school, once started, passed faster than James expected them to, and by the end of it, much to his own surprise, he’d also gotten married. 

You were almost all but forgotten in the back of his mind, but time continued to play its games. 

Medical school turned into a specialization in oncology, and a divorce. Then residency and a marriage. Then a second divorce. Then another marriage and more recently a position at a hospital in his hometown, on the board and a well respected oncologist and a few new friends…and a third divorce. 

“House, I’m not asking you to let them all sleep in your apartment, it’s just a dinner for one night, we’ll be out and about for the rest of the time that they’re here,” James sighed. 

“Can’t you just cancel?” House asked. “Divorce seems like a pretty good reason to get out of a reunion.” 

“See, the thing is, I’d rather not be miserable and see my friends instead, and they bought their tickets months ago. Please, House, I’ll do the dishes for a week.” 

“A month,” House said. 

“Two weeks,” James negotiated and House nodded, so they shook on it. 

“Good, now that I’ve done you a favour, you can do me one,” House smiled, but the kind of smile that was conniving, like he had something up his sleeve all along. 

“I paid you in chores for my favour, who says I owe you anything?” 

“Unless you want me to call your friends and cancel for you, you’ll do it,” House continued to walk the hospital’s hallways hobbling with his cane. 

“What is it?” James sighed, catching up with him. 

“We have a patient and he doesn’t speak very good English, but he does speak French. You went to McGill didn’t you? Must have picked up some of the love language.” 

“Unfortunately for me in this case, I did,” he nodded. 

“Perfect, come with me now,” House motioned with his head to the patient’s room and James trailed behind him. 

When he entered the room, House motioned for him to begin speaking. James hadn’t spoken a lot of French since his undergrad so he was definitely rusty, but he supposed it was better than nothing and began to explain that he would be helping with the translation.

“Erm, Bonjour, je suis Dr. Wilson, je vais aider Dr. House avec la traduction.” 

The man looked at James strangely before saying. 

“You’re an anglophone, but you speak French like you’re Quebecois.” 

“I um did my undergraduate in Montreal, I learnt how to speak there,” James responded back in French. 

“Hmm.” 

James could tell this wasn’t going to be fun. Some of the French held quite a bit of hate towards Quebec, who knew why, but his accent definitely wasn’t going to help him in this situation. 

House got James to ask some routine medical history questions and a few things about his symptoms all the while James had to filter out all the insults that were coming his way with regards to his “poor use of language” and “unintelligible accent”. 

When he could finally leave the room, James let out a string of French curses under his breath, still thinking in the other language. 

“House, why can’t you just get a proper translator?” he asked. “I’m terrible at this.” 

“Cuddy said something about making a big purchase recently and being currently unable to do so, especially since you put that you speak French in your resume. Bet you’re regretting that one now.” 

“Yeah,” James nodded his head. “Big time.” 

They began to walk towards the elevator to go to the cafeteria for lunch, when James decided to inquire more about Cuddy’s big purchase. 

“Oh, she said something about money this, medical research that,” House shook his head, “You know I stopped listening the second she wouldn’t give me what I wanted.” 

“She hired a medical researcher,” James said aloud, chewing on the words, “I wonder who she-,” 

His train of thought was cut off when he saw, near the elevator, a face he hadn’t seen since graduation day at McGill. 

Quickly, unable to think of anything else to do, he ran into the administrative area and hid crouched down behind a photocopier. 

House watched his friend curiously before walking over towards him and leaning against the copier asked him if he’d gone insane. 

“No, I just, um, remembered I needed to copy some patient files,” he lied. 

“You don’t have any with you,” House said. 

“I faxed them from my office,” he lied again. 

“I think I need to go get Foreman, clearly you’re having a neurological breakdown,” House said. 

“Can you just stop making it obvious I’m here?!” James exclaimed in a whisper. 

Unfortunately for him, as you were walking past, his harsh whisper made his location obvious, causing you to look down and see his familiar face. 

“Oh my God, heart-eyes, is that you?” you asked with a smile and James pressed his lips in a thin line and nodded. “What are you doing down there?” 

James became speechless and suddenly he was an eighteen-year-old back in his chemistry lab. 

“He’s checking to see if we need more toner,” House said, lying for his friend, but James knew that was all he would get out of him. “Well, that’s my cue to leave, you guys have fun.” 

You reached down and offered James a hand, helping him back into a standing position. 

“I haven’t seen you in so long,” you commented. “Like since we were-,” 

“22,” James filled in and you nodded. 

“Yeah,” you bit your lip before asking him how he had been. 

“Oh, you know,” he shrugged his shoulders. “I-I’m assuming you’re the medical researcher Cuddy hired?” 

“That would be correct,” you smiled. 

“Why did you choose to work here? I thought you were some big hotshot in Canada?” 

“I am a big hotshot, which is why I wanted to come to a teaching hospital. I thought maybe it would give more opportunities to teach other people what I know. It’s a win-win. I get to do what I want to and the hospital gets grant money from my research,” you explained. “It looks like you got where you wanted to be too, Mr. Oncologist.” 

“Actually it’s Dr. Oncologist,” he joked and you laughed, making his cheeks go red after hearing the sound.

“I missed having you around, James. We should catch up sometime,” you suggested. 

“Yeah sure,” he nodded. “I-I’d love that.” 

You excused yourself, needing to go introduce yourself to a class of medical students, waving goodbye to James, leaving him stuck in his tracks for a few moments before he could gather his senses again and head downstairs for lunch. 

—

“We could have rescheduled if this was too much, man,” Carlo watched James as he brought a large roast to the table for them to eat. 

“See? What did I tell you,” House rolled his eyes and James gave him a disapproving stare. 

“No, I wanted you guys to come, we’ve been planning this for months. I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of it,” he assured his friends. “Plus, we know how hard it is to nail down Pierre, I swear you are always travelling. Every time we talk you’re in a different country.” 

“That’s the life of a parasitologist,” he shrugged and helped James by beginning to cut the roast. 

“And Jian, how’s the wife and kids?” 

“They’re good,” Jian smiled. “Mei started first grade in September. Becky and I are both up for promotions at the hospital, so I can’t really complain. Although I think Carlo can.” 

“Seriously it’s not that big of a deal,” Carlo groaned, “Sure yeah, pharmaceuticals are more flashy than biophysics, but that doesn’t mean that my research wasn’t better.” 

“Well if it was better why did William get the award?” James asked and Carlo just flipped him the bird. 

“Didn’t we go to school with him?” Pierre asked. 

“We did?” James raised a brow. 

“Yeah, for a year, from Toronto, huge stoner. Hated being there and did literally no work, but still managed to get honours,” Jian explained. 

“Sounds like my kinda guy,” House commented and James rolled his eyes. 

Just as they continued to dish out dinner, House’s pager went off and he sighed, excusing himself from the table while practically threatening James to leave him some food. 

When House left, James’ friends saw their opening and began their personal line of questioning. 

“Hey, James, are you really okay?” Jian asked. 

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” James asked in return. 

“You’re getting a divorce,” Pierre said. “Seems like a pretty good reason to not be okay.” 

James shook his head, 

“Yeah sure, it’s a shitty situation,” he admitted. “Did I imagine myself at this point in my life with three failed marriages? No, definitely not. Can I do anything to change it? Also no, and right now I really wouldn’t want to change it.” 

“Can we ask what happened?” Carlo queried. 

“She cheated on me, then left me,” James said simply. 

“Forgive me,” Pierre said. “But you seemed a lot more upset when we talked over the phone last week. What changed?” 

James looked down at his plate and cut into his roast, thinking about what Pierre had said. It was true, even earlier today he was sulking about, that was until he ran into you. 

“I swear,” James started, “if you guys make a big deal about this I will murder you all,” he used his knife to point at all of them and they nodded, swearing their silence. “I’ve got heart-eyes again.” 

“You met someone new?” Jian asked and Carlo shook his head. 

“No, he re-met someone old. Tell me, did your hospital recently hire a medical researcher?” 

James nodded his head and the table was about to erupt into a loud chorus of comments when James gave them a look and they all restrained themselves. 

“James, I’m being dead serious when I say this, but you should have married her,” Pierre insisted. “I never saw you look at anyone else the way you looked at her.” 

“Probably explains the three divorces then, doesn’t it? I was still in love with her the whole time,” James sighed. “It’s going to come up eventually, seems like a pretty big indicator that I’m not good at relationships.” 

“Who knows, maybe she won’t care,” Jian offered. 

“What was it like when you saw her again?” Carlo asked, looking for any opportunity to tease his friend. 

“How do you think it was? I could barely talk, I was a nervous wreck, and blushing like crazy,” he shook his head at the thought of it. “I could literally feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. I feel like a middle school girl every time I’m near her.”

“Who knows, maybe she still thinks you have circulation issues,” Jian shrugged and the table laughed. 

“What I would give to stay here and watch this play out,” Carlo sighed and leaned back in his seat. 

“Knowing James, you’d have to be here for ten years before he made a move on her,” Pierre raised a brow and James threw a piece of potato at him. 

“If you ever do get the guts to ask her out, call us. We’ve made bets on this,” Carlo added. 

“Real comforting, guys,” James ate a bite of the roast. “I thought this was supposed to be my pity party.” 

“Not anymore,” Jian shook his head. “You’ve got heart-eyes.” 

This time around, James thought maybe he didn’t mind the nickname as much as he used to. 

—

“I would think they’d get you your own office at this point,” James commented as he entered his office, seeing you sitting at his desk, eating a pre-packed lunch. 

“Beats me,” you shrugged and continued to eat. 

“So you’ve decided that invading my office is your next best bet?” 

“Oh hush,” you waved him off with your fork. 

“Well, excuse me for wanting to come to a safe place after being verbally assaulted by House’s patient,” he sat on the opposite side of the desk and leaned back in the chair. 

“Verbally assaulted?” you asked. “By a patient who isn’t even your own?” 

“He doesn’t like the way I speak French,” James rolled his eyes. “I’m translating while they’re treating him since the department used all its money hiring you.” 

“What can I say, hotshots cost a lot of money.” 

“You know, you could do the translation, probably much better than I can,” he noted. 

“I could, but you probably need the practice more than I do, chèri,” you scrunched your nose in a cute mocking way and James could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks yet again. “You still keeping up with that posse of yours?” you asked, changing the subject. 

“Yeah, they all flew in to visit a few days ago, we’re gonna go out tonight,” he said. “Do you…maybe want to join us?” he suggested. 

“I don’t have plans, as long as they’re okay with it I’d love to come,” you smiled. 

“Oh trust me, they will definitely be okay with it.” 

—

Later that night, James was drinking deeply from his glass while he watched his friends stare blankly ahead at you. If he looked anything like they did all those times his words were caught in his throat, then he hoped to spontaneously combust right then and there. 

“Heart-eyes, I thought you said they were okay with me coming?” you leaned over and whispered to him. 

James put down his glass and nodded his head. 

“They are okay with it, right?” 

Snapping out of their daze, the three men nodded their heads and finally began professing assurances that everything was fine. 

“It’s just… you said James invited you?” Jian asked with furrowed bows. 

“Yeah,” you nodded. “He mentioned you guys were in town and getting together tonight and asked me if I wanted to join.” 

James bit down on his tongue trying not to say anything, but also gave his friends a look to shut up before they gave anything away. He knew what was running through their minds, they were wondering how the hell he’d gotten the guts to ask you to come, but there was one fundamental difference between tonight and any other time he could have possibly asked you. This wasn’t a date, therefore, there was no pressure. 

“Maybe you could tell them what you’ve been up to since they last saw you?” James suggested. 

“Oh, um, well, I got my master’s degree and doctorate at McGill, both for research in cancer biology-,” 

“Cancer biology?” Pierre interrupted. “I don’t remember you mentioning you were interested in that.” 

“I-I wasn’t initially,” you admitted. “Just after spending more time in the LSRC and a few other irrelevant things I decided it was the best fit for me to focus on.” 

“You and heart-eyes make a pretty good pair then,” Carlo raised his eyebrows suggestively and took a sip of his drink. 

“I guess we do,” you chuckled. “As long as he leaves the research to me. We all know what he’s like in the lab.” 

“I resent that,” James protested only before saying, “but I do deserve it.” 

“It’s a miracle he hasn’t had a medical malpractice suit,” Pierre added. 

You asked the boys about where their various careers had taken them and how they were each doing. The conversation stayed pretty normal until the topic changed to relationships, starting with Jian’s wife and family back in Vancouver and Pierre’s husband who was currently in Australia doing research on some massive insect. 

“What about you Carlo?” you asked. “Anyone special in your life?” 

“Nah,” he waved his hand. 

“What about the mom of the kid who pet sits for you?” Jian asked. 

“That kid charges me per animal, per size. If I were to date his mom he’d probably charge me for dating her too, and I don’t think I can afford his price,” he shook his head and the table laughed. 

“James, you’ve been quiet,” you said. “Nothing to share?” 

James nervously took a sip of his drink and looked over at his friends for help. 

“James hasn’t had the best luck in love,” Pierre settled on. 

“Oh, haven’t found anybody, that’s not a big deal,” you assured him. “I haven’t either.” 

“Well,” Carlo said in a high-pitched voice. “It’s not exactly that he hasn’t found anybody.” 

“So there’s someone-?” 

“I’m divorced,” James blurted. “Three times. Or soon to be three anyway.” 

“Oh,” you paused and tried to think of the right thing to say, but for the moment settled on nothing while Pierre changed the subject. 

After the visit was over, James offered to walk you to your car and you accepted. The walk started off in silence, but you decided to break it. 

“You know, I hope you find the right person eventually,” you said. “It’s unfortunate things didn’t work out three times.” 

“Yeah,” James nodded in agreement. “I-um, do you ever think about that conversation we had, in the McDonald’s by my apartment?” 

“Sometimes I do,” you admitted. 

“Looking back on that, I wonder if we ever really loved each other. If we did this probably wouldn’t have happened. We would have fixed things, worked on ourselves instead of just…giving up.” 

“So I guess you still haven’t fallen in love yet?” you asked, but he stayed silent. “Whoever it is, I’m sure things will find a way to work out for you.”

“The moment may have passed on that,” he said with his hands shoved in his pockets and looking down at the ground. 

“You never know, James. Sometimes life has a funny way of surprising you.” 

—

James watched as his colleagues and a few of the students from the university left the lecture hall while he continued to sit in his seat, watching you walk up towards him. 

“Don’t you have patients or something?” you asked. “You’re at all of my lectures.” 

“Doesn’t it seem appropriate for an oncologist to attend a cancer biology lecture?” he asked as you sat down next to him. 

“I suppose so,” you sighed. “Doesn’t explain why you weren’t taking notes though.” 

James looked down at his empty hands and cursed a little internally. 

“It’s okay,” you assured him. “I don’t mind the staring, it reminds me of school.” 

“You noticed?” he asked. 

“You weren’t very subtle,” you chuckled. 

“Yeah, not one of my strong suits,” he blushed, embarrassed. 

“Do you wanna go grab lunch before your break is over?” you asked and James nodded, standing up and offering you a hand to get out of your seat. 

You went to the cafeteria, running into his friend House who managed to get his food paid for by James, yet again, before leaving to go back up to his office and work on another differential diagnosis with his employees. 

“Did all the guys get back home safe after their trip?” you asked, digging into your food. 

“Carlo and Jian are back home, Pierre went to go be with Ollie in Australia.”

“It must be hard not living near them.” 

James sighed and nodded his head. “It’s a balance. When they’re being annoying, it’s great that they don’t live here and when they’re not, it sucks.” 

“Spoken like a true friend,” you chuckled. 

“What about you? Do you still keep in touch with people from school? During any of your degrees?” 

“Not really,” you shook your head. “After my undergrad I became so laser focused on my school I didn’t pay attention to relationships that much outside of my family. Starting to regret it a bit now.” 

“Kind of hard to have a good conversation with cancer cells,” James said sarcastically and you shook your head. “Do you like it in New Jersey so far?” 

“Not as much as back home,” you admitted, “but it is nice to have a friend here.”

“Yeah, Jersey is…an acquired taste,” he settled on, making you laugh, but your laughter was cut off by the sound of his pager, and he looked down to see what the message was before quickly standing up. “Sorry, I have to-,” 

“Don’t worry,” you assured him. “I’ll pack up your food and bring it to your office.” 

“Thanks,” he nodded and you waved goodbye as he ran off out of the cafeteria and to the oncology floor to go help one of his patients. 

—

James didn’t find himself walking around the campus often, but when he did it was usually because he had to clear his head. With everything that was going on in his life, in addition to the circumstances of this case, he was taking it harder than normal. 

He had left his coat in his office as the hot New Jersey sun was already beating down, his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes following his feet as he took his steps forward. 

He didn’t notice you sitting on a bench as he was passing by. Curious as to his state, you stood up and went to meet up with him. 

“Hey James, are you okay?” 

Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts almost instantly. He stopped to look up at you, seeing the concern reflecting in your eyes. 

He took his hands out of his pockets and motioned for you to walk with him. 

“I lost a patient today,” he explained. “He was 11.” 

“Oh, James, I’m so sorry,” you said softly. 

“In med school you learn pretty quickly if you don’t find a way to deal with what you face every day the result is never good,” he said and you noticed him chewing on the inside of his cheek, “but it was just too sunny outside. How could it be sunny on a day like this?” 

You didn’t say anything initially, only intertwining your hand with his and giving it a light squeeze which he returned. 

“You know, I think it’s probably okay, every once in a while, to let yourself mourn your patients. Just like everyone else. You have a uniquely difficult job, James, and no one would hold it against you if you need a minute to adjust.” 

James stopped walking and you followed his lead, only to have him let go of your hand and pull you into a tight hug. You easily wrapped your arms around his neck while his arms were around your waist. 

“You’re a good doctor, James,” you mumbled. “I know, even if you don’t quite believe it right now, you did everything you could to help that young boy and make him more comfortable.” 

You could feel him nod his head, clearly not trusting himself to say anything at the moment. 

Neither of you wanted to let go, but you knew that you both had work to get back to. James had other patients he was responsible for and you had some work to do in one of the hospital labs. 

So silently, hand in hand, you accompanied each other back to the hospital, grateful for each other’s company. 

—

“I swear, if I stay there any longer I’m going to go mad,” James whispered to you under his breath as you walked along the halls of the hospital with him to help him run some tests for a few patients. 

“What was it this time?” you asked, huddling in closer, waiting for him to spill the beans on why living with his best friend was becoming unbearable. 

“He keeps pranking me,” he began to explain and you could see how frustrated he was just by his hand movements. “Last night he thought of the genius idea to put my hand in warm water while I was sleeping and-,” James stopped himself, realizing he’d divulged too much, just as your eyes went wide. 

“Oh my God you didn’t wet the bed did you?” you asked in a chuckle and James quickly covered your mouth saying, 

“Shh! The whole hospital doesn’t need to hear you!” 

You couldn’t hold in your laugh, muffled by James’ hand over your mouth and his cheeks were a bright cherry red. 

Eventually you pulled his hand away and said, 

“You definitely need to get out of there. That’s criminal.” 

“Exactly what I’m saying,” James agreed. 

“Hey, why don’t you come over to my place tonight?” you suggested. “We can watch a movie or something together.” 

“That sounds like exactly what I need right now,” he nodded his head. “What time?” 

“Come over at eight, it’ll give me some time to get snacks and get ready.” 

“You’ve got yourself a deal,” he held out his hand and you took it shaking it firmly. 

Later that evening while James was getting ready, House watched him curiously. 

“I still don’t believe that you blowdry your hair,” he said loudly over the sound of the appliance. 

“Believe it or not, I do,” James responded. 

“It just seems so pointless, your hair is messy anyways,” he crossed his arms and James gave him a look. 

“My hair looks fine, yours on the other hand could use a trim and about a billion other things,” James retorted.

“So, is this a date?” House asked, changing the topic. 

“No, it’s not a date,” James shook his head. “It’s an opportunity for me to get away from your insanity.” 

“Are you sure it’s not a date?” he asked. 

“What makes you think it's a date?” he finally gave in and turned around to face his friend, turning off the blow dryer. 

“Well if you asked her if you could come over, probably not a date, but if she offered…” he shrugged his shoulders. 

James shook his head, he didn’t want to allow himself to believe it was true, because if it was, he’d probably overthink things and make a fool of himself. 

“It’s not a date,” he reiterated and House stopped pressing, seeing as his friend would not be reasoned with. 

James finished fixing his hair and grabbed his keys and a coat before stepping out of the door. 

It didn’t take him long to drive to your house and when he knocked at the door he heard shuffling inside before the lock clicked and you opened it. 

“Hey! You got the dress code memo,” you joked, pointing to his McGill sweater and then back at yours. 

“I thought you might like a blast from the past,” he smiled and you invited him inside. 

As he entered he noticed the array of pillows on the couch, blankets draped over arm chairs, and books piled on every surface possible. To top it off, the house was currently only lit by lamps allowing a warm orange hue to fall over the space. It made James’ shoulders relax and he could even feel his nervous heart rate slow. 

“Do you like it?” you asked. “I am by no means an interior decorator, but I tried to make it feel cozy so it’s nice to come back to after long days at work.” 

“I do like it,” James nodded. “A lot. It feels like a home.” 

“Perfect, that’s exactly what I was going for,” you smiled. “You’re the first guest I’ve had here, you know?” 

“Really? No fancy dinner parties with the hospital board?” 

“No, not yet,” you chuckled. “Unfortunately, this guy in the oncology department keeps taking up all my time.”

You grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the couch. 

“But don’t worry, I don’t mind.” 

After he took off his coat, you both sat down next to each other, James extending his hand along the back of the couch and you naturally sat right up next to him, leaning forward to grab the remote and turn on the movie. 

“What did you pick?” James asked. 

“Just some random horror movie,” you said. “I heard it’s really cheesy.” 

“We’ll see about that,” James raised his brows and grabbed the popcorn from the table, putting it in between you both. 

You pressed play once you were both settled and tossed the remote to the side of the couch, curling your legs up and waiting in anticipation for the movie to begin.

It didn’t take long for the horror plot to begin, jumping right into the satanic murders and supernatural deaths. Just as you had predicted, it was cheesy, but that didn’t stop you from being startled whenever something popped up unexpectedly on the screen. 

Both of you were lulled into a false sense of security during what seemed like a quiet part of the movie, then, all of a sudden, the killer jumped into the frame with a loud change in the soundtrack, causing you to shriek and move towards James, also feeling him jump slightly from being startled. 

You both looked up at each other and laughed at the ridiculousness of your collective fright. 

“You’re supposed to be the calm one,” you elbowed him. 

“I know it just-Jesus!” James found himself inadvertently closing his eyes and wrapping his arm around you as if it would give him some protection from what was on the screen. 

You laughed again and leaned closer into his side, patting his leg to assure him it was safe to open his eyes again. 

“You must enjoy torturing me, that’s the only explanation for this,” James looked over at you and you shook your head. 

“Come on, heart-eyes, you think that lowly of me?” 

James couldn’t stop the smile that creeped past his lips, “No, of course not.” 

“Good, that means I still have the upper hand,” you moved your head to look back at the TV, but not before James tickled you in retaliation for your words. 

It took a moment, but you eventually surrendered and moved your focus back to the movie, still feeling a little warm from your laughter. 

You grabbed some of the other candies and snacks from the table, holding a gummy bear up for James to try and he did without so much as a second thought. 

“Still have a sweet tooth I see,” you offered him a different candy which he ate again and nodded. 

“You don’t want to know how many cavities I’ve had.” 

“Here,” you handed him a wrapped treat. “This one’s special from home.” 

“Maple candies,” he smiled. “They don’t make ‘em like they do in Montreal.” 

“They were your favourite, right?” you asked. 

James looked over at you again curiously, “You remembered that?” 

“Of course I did,” you shrugged. “Oh wait, look,” you pointed to the TV before grimacing and covering your eyes, but still peeking through your fingers. “Ew!” 

James just smiled at you, finding it harder and harder to resist the urge to kiss you, the thought bringing a warm sensation to his stomach. 

He settled instead on doing what he’d been doing forever: staring at you with heart-eyes. 

—

James tried to fight a yawn as he grabbed one of the many books on the shelves in his office, taking it to his couch and sitting down next to you. 

“You don’t have to do this, James,” you told him. “You probably have to be back tomorrow morning, you should go home and rest.” 

“No, no, it’s fine,” he insisted. “You look in here for that article I was telling you about and I’ll start proofreading.” 

There were many papers and files strewn around the couch, you couldn’t remember when you first came in, but James never seemed to mind when you worked in his office instead of your own. 

“Are you sure?” you asked. “I feel like I brought a tornado in here.” 

James looked up from your paper and nodded his head. 

“Now hush and let me read.” 

“Sorry, sorry,” you chuckled, opening the medical journal he had handed you, flipping through the contents until you found the article title he had mentioned. 

James had a pen in his hand, scribbling down annotations on the side, correcting a few typos and grammatical errors. 

For the most part, he was able to follow along, but at one point, the words became so incoherent he tapped you to make sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. 

“What does this say here?” he asked. “I-I don’t know if my eyes just stopped working, but what does stirring in sugar and eggs have to do with this trial treatment?” 

“Oh my God,” you grabbed the paper and looked at it closer. “I must have accidentally copied some of my mom’s cookie recipe on here before changing documents. What in the world is going on with me?” 

Maybe it was the exhaustion settling in or some other things James couldn’t quite pinpoint, but he felt himself letting out a chuckle that grew a little longer, and longer until it was a full blown laugh. 

It was an honest mistake, and arguably not that funny, but you’d be hard pressed to convince him of that in that moment, and instead, seeing the silliness of the situation, you joined in.

Eventually, when the laughter died down, you and James both leaning far back against the couch, he turned to you and apologized. 

“I’m sorry, I should probably read this when I have a bit more sanity.” 

“Don’t be,” you patted his leg. “I can always use a good laugh.” 

With your heads still turned to face each other, you suggested to pause the work and resume it another time, to which James agreed. 

You both continued to sit there in silence, looking over at each other and James caught a glimmer of something in your eyes and had to blink a few times to make sure it was still there. It was a soft look, a little dazed, like you were happily daydreaming about something far off. It took him a moment to realize it, since he had been the one giving that look, he’d never really had a chance to see it for himself. 

You had heart-eyes. 

And more importantly, you had them while you were looking at James. 

With a sudden boost of courage, fuelled by lowered inhibitions, he started by asking, 

“Have I ever told you why my friends call me heart-eyes?” 

You tilted your head a little, following his lead and sitting up straight. 

“Wasn’t it because of that girl you had a crush on that was from here?” 

James opened his mouth and then shut it, shaking his head. 

“There was never a girl from Jersey,” he admitted. 

“Why would they say it was a girl from Jersey if there was…” as you said the sentence you slowed down, the realization dawning on you. 

“All the staring makes a bit more sense now?” he asked. 

You blinked a few times, “I just thought you were really awkward,” you said. 

“I was, but if the staring didn’t give it away the blushing really should have done it,” he chuckled. 

“I thought you had a circulation issue!” you exclaimed and James burst out laughing, of course you did. “God, James, why didn’t you say anything?” 

James shook his head, “I could barely string out a coherent sentence when I was around you. Makes it a little hard to say anything.” 

“Makes me wish I had said something,” you said, feeling your own cheeks heat up at the admission. 

“Y-You would’ve said something?” 

Now it was James’ turn to be surprised. 

“I think most of the time it comes on gradually, maybe you won’t even know it at first. That’s what you said to me, but that eventually, if it was love, I’d know it.” 

You reached out and held James’ hands in your own. 

“I should have said something. I could have said something. We could have had so much more-,” 

“James,” you whispered, interrupting him and he stopped. “Shut up and kiss me.” 

James wasn’t going to waste another second, removing his hands from your to instead gently hold your face, bringing you closer to him so he could finally do what he had been dreaming about since he was 18 years old. 

The dim light of his desk lamp, the papers crumpled beneath and around you, the way you moved closer and slid into his lap, his hands now on your hips and your fingers snaking through his hair, it all melted into one and if you let yourselves imagine, just a bit, the lamp became a light in the library; the papers became unfinished homework assignments and lab write-ups, and you hadn’t missed a second of the time you could have spent together. 

Your kisses soon turned slow and repetitive and neither of you wanted to pull away, living in the moment like it was your last. 

“When…did you realize…you loved me?” you asked between kisses, moving away from his mouth, instead letting your lips find their way across his jaw and up to his temple. 

“Our last year of school,” he paused your kisses so he could kiss you properly again. “Carlo said something and-,” he shook his head and sighed. “I realized I was going to leave without you ever knowing how I felt and even though eventually I thought maybe I’d stopped loving you and started to love other people…I just kept trying to fill that space that only you fit in.” 

“First year of my master’s for me,” you rested your forehead against his. “Suddenly you weren’t there anymore and I really wished that wasn’t the case.” 

He tilted his head up to meet you in another kiss that was far too easy to melt into. Neither of you had any complaints and you knew you’d never get tired looking into his heart-eyes.

@cuntyvicodin

[desswright29]

Contains: Petty Argument, Overreacting reader, Overprotective Shuri, Bratty reader, Angry Shuri/reader, Reader testing the fuck out of Shuri’s patience, apologetic reader. Smut (18+), Sub Shuri 🫦, (I was inspired lol) Reader has PTSD from her past abusive relationship. A/N: This is in the “Shame” universe. I just felt like writting. So this is a side quest as I write PTV. I hope y’all enjoy! Also this shit is not edited. Read at your own risk lmao.

“Mholo ngalentsasa, umfazi wam.” Your wife’s voice was soft, slightly raspy with sleep this morning. You sensed an aggitated apprehensiveness in her tone, even in your groggy state. Her back was to you as she sat in the lounge area of the bedroom, eating a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch while watching the news. Your vision was still blurry, eyes sensitive to the amount of sun shining into the room, as you stare at the back Shuri’s head from the bed.

“Good Morning baby, are you eating cereal? I was going to cook breakfast for us.” You stretch, becoming more aware of your surroundings, and most importantly of your body, you recognize the pounding headache at your temples and the aching in your bones.

“It is just after noon, 12:02 to be exact, and you sweet girl, are sick.” Your eyes bulge at her revelation of the time.

“Afternoon!” You shot up fast, and was  immediately hit with an overwhelming dizzyness that forced you to lay back against the headboard. You were in denial about the final part of her statement, even though your body ached from head to toe, you had the sweats, and your head was pounding. But, you were on tour and had no intention of canceling tonight’s show.

She glanced at you over her shoulder. “Take it slow, my love. You tossed and turned all night, running a fever. I had Griot check your vitals and your fever got dangerously high. I was up all night making sure you were alright. You’ve been sweating a lot so you need to hydrate.” Hesitance laced her tone as she stared ahead at the television. Your face was plastered all over the news. Fans already lined up outside of the arena waiting to see you perform. “I think that it would be best if you cancelled tonight’s show, no?” Shuri knew that her advice would not be well received, and braced herself.

“Uh no! Shuri you should’ve woke me up. I’m not canceling my show! Now I’m gonna be rushing.” You try standing only for your body to reject it. Landing right back onto the bed. Shuri’s chin dropped to her chest, pinching her nose trying not to allow her frustration to over power her rationale.

“Sthandwa, it’s been weeks. You’re over due a break. I told you this was going to happen and that you need to slow down.” Shuri spoke with her usual calm demeanor. Trying to keep you from going into a panic.

“I have!” Your voice went up an octave as you lied to no one except for yourself. Shuri threw her arm over the back of the couch, finally turning to look at you fully “No. You have not.” She rebutted. You roll your eyes sitting on the side of the bed. You notice the lounge wear you wore to bed had been changed. You were sure that was courtesy of your thoughtful wife.

“Uuuuugghhh Shuri. Please. I don’t have the energy for this.”

“Right. That is exactly my point. How do you plan to do a show in your condition ubusi?” Shuri cocked her head to the side as she waited for an answer that would make sense.

“I’ll take something for the pain and fever, go back to sleep for a couple of hours, and I’ll be ok when I wake up.” Shuri placed her half eaten bowl onto the table, getting up to walk over to the bed. She got on one knee in front of you. Grabbing one of your hands and lifting your chin with her other.

“No you won’t. Baby, your body is exhausted, it can only take so much more.  I’ve been medicating you all night. It keeps coming back. You need rest. You have to know when to take a break, or this lifestyle is going to break you.” You groan in defiance.

“I understand you mean well Shuri but I have an obligation to my fans. If I cancel tonight it’s going to complicate everything. We’ll have to refund everyone. Pay a fine to the venue…and damnit I just want to perform! It’s Madison Square Garden for Bast sake!” You whined. You leaned forward catching your head in your hands in frustration. Shuri rubbed your arm comfortingly. 

“Don’t stress yourself. I understand. I know you love what you do. You put a lot of hard work into it, and I admire that. But, Thando you’re taking your body through a lot of physical strain. Training with the Dora, learning your duties as consort, and actively on tour. It’s physically impossible for any human.” 

“You have more on your plate than I do. And you’re doing just fine!” Shuri, being true to the patient woman that you married, continued being calm during your temper tantrum.

“Bambo’lawami, while I am human, I have a bit of an advantage here. I should hardly be the determining factor for your work ethic. You need to let something go.” If Shuri only knew where her statement would take this, she would immediately swallow those words. Your head jerks back as you look down at Shuri, chuckling though very unamused.

“OOOOh, ok… I’m getting it now. Is the career I built getting in the way of my duties for Wakanda?” You raised a brow as Shuri mimicked your prior movement, her head jerking back in confusion.

“What? That has nothing to do with what I said.” 

“No. But, it has everything to do with what you implied.” You say, your words laced with spite. 

The creases in her forhead increased with each word that came from your mouth.

“Sthand-“

“Don’t fucking SthANdwa me. I already know what you’re gonna say. ‘You are being unreasonable Entle, I only want what’s best for you.’ When we both know that this your way of introducing the idea of me giving up my career, so that I can play the submissive Queens consort? Walk to the right and two steps behind you!?” Shuri sat back on her haunches, completely taken aback. She snickered.

“Are you for real? I-“ Your hand comes up, placing it directly into your wife’s face. She bit into the corner of her bottom lip. A sneer appearing on her upper, as her nostrils flared.

“I don’t want to hear shit you have to say. I’m doing this and every other show I have scheduled for MY tour. I’m not giving up who I am and what I’VE built to play small and be your little wife.” You go to mush Shuri’s face but her hand quickly grasped your wrist placing your hand gently back onto the bed. 

“Whoa. You’re loosing it Nkosazana. Dont put your hand in my face. Don’t ever disrespect me like that.” Her pointer finger came up, centered between your eyes. 

“And what are you gonna do?” You say swatting her hand away. She removed her hand before you could make contact. You place your hand back into her face and she swats it. The two of you go through this back in forth for a moment until frustration takes over and you catch Shuri off guard pushing her away from you making her land on her butt. 

“Y/n what the fuck are you doing!?” Shuri’s voice became high pitched as confusion took over her. She remained seated on the floor.

“My intent is not to start an arguement with you. You’re stressed and not feeling well. Apparently, you have some other unrelated issue with me, that we should discuss at a better time. Because, no way you’re taking my concern for your health as some sort of power play.” The statement came out as a question.

“Yup.” You say crossing your arms and rolling your neck. 

“Y/n.”

“Yuuup.” You say more aggressive. Shuri squinted her eyes a smirk turning up one of her cheeks.

“Yea?”

“Yup” You repeat.

“Childish.” You shrug staring at her waiting impatiently for whatever it was she had to say. Quietly, her eyes scan over your body. Had it been any other time, or had you felt better the look on her face would’ve folded you like origami. However, now you had an unwarranted point to prove. Just because Shuri was a sexy, domineering goddess didn’t mean you were going to drop everything for her. You built your image without her and planned to maintain it. You were a Queen in your own right before marrying Shuri, this was your shit!

“It seems as though we’re past not arguing.” You cock your head to the side with all the attitude you can muster, as Shuri stands to her feet, clenching her jaw. 

 “Llisten, Your health at the moment is what matters to me. That is all this is about.”

“Puh’ lease, you been on this shit. Does my success make you insecure Shuri?” You continued pushing your invalid point. Shuri closed her eyes.

“Bast, I’m trying to keep my composure.”

“And if you loose it?” You raise a brow continuing to challenge Shuri. She stepped forward Jaw clenched. 

“You want to act like a child, y/n? Fine, I’ll treat you like one. If you so much as think about going to that show tonight, I’m going to hunt you down and drag your little ass back into this house and chain you to the bed. Do you understand me?”

Your mouth dropped, a sudden burst of energy hit you as you lept to your feet standing on the bed in an attempt to over power Shuri. 

“Who the fuck you think you talking to?!!” Shuri snorted turning to walk away. 

“The only person confused in here is you. I guess the 103 degree fever you were running was boiling your brain cells. I’ll be happy to remind you who YOU are speaking with. We maybe consorts but I rule over you. Calm yourself.” She punctuated her sentence jabbing her finger in your direction. “You’ve gotten beside yourself. I’ll shut the fucking city down before I let you leave this house thinking it’s ok to distrespect me the way you are. The only point I’m making is that you’re running that beautiful body of yours into the ground. And it’s going to give way mama.” At this point you were relentless. 

“Ha! Oh that’s cute kitten.” Shuri shook her head chewing on the insides of her cheeks. Confused at how you even got to this point. She’d made her way back to the sitting area plopping down onto the couch. You followed. “Be serious, your intimidated because I’m not one of these thirsty bitches that need you. I’m good on my own and I could have just as much without you and your trying to ta-“ Shuri shot back to her feet. Making her way to you in a few long strides.

“I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR LITT-.” Shuri tried stopping herself before playing into this foolish argument, but it was too late. You had shook her calm front, and cut her off.

“There it is!! There the fuck it is! Show yourself!” 

“EVERYDAY! Y/n EVERY FUCKING DAY I go out of my way making sure you’re happy and ok. And you think I would wait until you were ill to push some dumb ass agenda I’ve been hiding onto you.” You stare at her unyielding in your point. Shuri stepped back chuckling, She threw her hands up in surrender.

“You know what. Fuck it. Do as you please! Fuck me for giving a shit about my wife. Go risk your LIFE to dress in a strip of fabric and clap your ass in front of an a arena full of strangers. I’m done!” You smirk.

“Proved my point.” 

“Discussion over.”

“I bet it is.”

“OVER!” Your eyes connected with Shuri’s. Though you may not have been very connected with your own limits. You knew Shuri’s. So you chose to heed her warning. You stomped around the room collecting your things while Shuri sat slumped on the couch attending to business on her Kimoyo beads. 

“I’m going to wait for the car at Bruno’s and I’ll stay with my sister after my show.”

“Do what you gotta do.” Her voice had gone down an octave, raspy and tired. Your aching body wanted so bad to go over, fall into her lap, and let her nurse you back to health. But, the stubbornness in you, the part that was afraid to rely fully on Shuri or anyone because of your checkered past relationships, pressed on. 

“Eat a dick.” You say calmly before snatching open the door, and slamming it as hard as you could behind you. 

“Tuh.” And a snicker was Shuri’s only reaction. Her nonchalance only a weak bandage for the wound you’d just caused her.

Shuri was in a bad mood. It was apparent in her stifling demeanor as she swaggered backstage. Her lack of sleep, the heated argument between the two of you, and pure worry for her wife drove her to an astute level of unapproachable. Her shades hid her frustrated eyes, but her demeanor was not to be misunderstood.

She’d tried getting some rest, tried staying away and letting you do your thing. But, even when she was pissed at you her love and protective instincts for you would always over power any anger. So, after stubbornly tossing and turning on the couch, and stomping through the house mumbling angrily to herself, after her failed attempt at sleeping. She decided to take a shower, and then she found herself getting dressed, grabbing keys, and heading in the direction of Madison Square Garden in the Royal Talon. 

You were halfway through your set, as she walked over to the wings. Your tour Manager Wayne stood watching intently, until he felt the presence of the Queen approaching. Shuri saw his shoulders visibly tense as she walked up beside him.

“Why do you look nervous Wayne? Is there a reason you would need to be cautious around me?” She never made eye contact. Just leaned  her shoulder onto a pillar, crossing her legs at the ankle, staring out onto the stage.

“N-no I-“ She cut him off, not having the patience to beat around the bush.

“Tell me, have you seen my wife today?”

“Uh, Well yes.” Shuri’s jaw tensed as she nodded, somehow the shades covering her eyes made this moment even more frightening for the man. The lights from the stage casting a red glow over her. 

“Really? Because if you had. You would know that she is in no condition to be on that stage tonight.” Her head turned slightly to the right of her where Wayne stood shifting on his feet.

“She said she’d be good by show time. E-everyone was already here I-I couldn’t cancel. I was just doing as she sa-“ 

“Isn’t apart of your job to make sure that my wife is in good health. Does it not matter if the artist is well? Or are you just worried about your check? Because, I can get you your check, and  it’ll be the last. Was this one show worth your job Wayne?” Shuri raised a brow, and a sarcastic smile spread across Shuri’s face. 

“I’m so-“ The shivering teary eyed man began. 

“Shuri!” Dani marched up standing in between the two of them. Interrupting the tense moment.

“Wayne, go gather yourself. I hear the Queen is on a little power trip because she can’t control my sister. She’ll get over it.” Shuri scoffed as Wayne rushed off. 

“I heard you were here terrorizing the staff because y/n went through with her show. Lay off it Shuri! This is a sold out show at Madison Square Garden! You’re not about to mess this night up for her.”

“Me! Mess it up! Dani have you even seen your sister up close for the past couple of weeks!? She’s fucking exhausted. She’s pushing herself entirely too hard.”

“So, she has to give up her career?!”

“WHO THE FUCK IS SAYING THAT! Demethi! You two are definietly related. She JUST NEEDS A BREEAAAAAK! From EVERYTHING! GAHDAMN!” 

“I think she knows her limitations. She’s putting on a flawless show. You can’t control-“

“I don’t -…. You know what Dani, It’s best if  nobody says shit to me tonight. I’m here to ensure my wife’s safety. Keep the rest.” Dani rolled her eyes.

“Whatever.” She said as her and Shuri stood silently watching the show. 

She watched your body move, as you sang effortlessly. The truth was, Shuri loved watching you in your element. The joy in your face, the sound of your voice. How you lost yourself becoming an entirely different being on stage. She loved even more the private shows she got after a show was over, the both of you all riled up. You, from trying to turn your wife on while onstage. Her, from you succeeding. Yea. After show sex was Shuris favorite. A smirk found it’s way to Shuri’s lips as she thought about your escapades. She didn’t want to argue. She just wanted you to be ok, and she couldn’t rest until she felt that you were. Taking something that you loved and excelled at would have never crossed Shuri’s mind, and it hurt her that you believed it would.

The show was coming to an end, and per usual it had been effortless. You did your final song. thanking your fans as the band continued to play you off stage. Shuri felt silly. Maybe she had overreacted. But, was she wrong? All she’d wanted was for you to be safe and healthy. You couldn’t be too mad at her for that. Could you?

The crowd roared as you did your signature strut off of the stage. The walk Shuri loved so much. Her eyes trailed over your body, starting at your feet, up to those thick thighs, your non existent waist, your beautiful bouncing breast, and then that gorge-. That’s when Shuri saw it,  your face was pale, washed out. There was fear in your eyes as you approached the wings as fast possible. Shuri’s face dropped as you got out of view of the crowd. She stepped forward.

“Y/n, babe.” Your eyes met her shaded ones, and you made it to your wife just in time to wrap your arms around her neck and faint. 

“Sis! Y/n!” Dani yelled, running to Shuri’s side. Jumping into action Shuri swooped the rest of your limp body up into her arms. 

“Move!” She yelled as she made her way through the crowded back stage. Chaos, ensued as everyone realized what was happening. Shuri tried making it to the Talon fighter, everything she needed to nurse you conscious was there, but suddenly she felt you stiffening in her arms. She stopped in her tracks looking down at you.

“EVERYBODY GIVE HER SOME SPACE SHES SEIZING! Someone get me something to cushion her head!” She barked orders as people ran around trying to find ways to help, or just stood staring. She gently placed you on your side as your sister took off her jacket placing it under your head, as your body began jerking. 

“It’s ok baby I’m here. I’m going to make sure you’re ok.” Medics rushed in with a gurney, directing everyone not to hover. Shuri lie on the floor above your head. Whispering words of encouragement. 

“I got you baby. Hang in there. It’ll be over soon.” Once you stopped seizing, They moved into action. Hurrying to get you onto the gurney before you went into another seizure. 

“Take her to the roof. I’m taking her home. We have whatever medical assistance she needs.” Shuri ordered as her and your sister ran beside the gurney. The Dora and your team followed close behind. 

Once safely on the aircraft Shuri had you placed you in a bed. Her first goal to hydrate you. She’d noticed weeks ago that in your attempt to juggle everything you weren’t eating enough, or staying hydrated. Your body had been running on fumes. Not getting nearly enough of anything it needed. Food, water, or sleep. Not to mention all of the sweating you did in your sleep last night. She’d spoken on it several times, and she continuously went ignored. Now your body had finally caved. She worked on you silently. Cutting off the restricting clothes. Giving you fluids through an IV and placing a cooling pad over your body. A tear fell from her eye and she quickly wiped it away. She’d never forgive herself for not being more insistent on you canceling if something happened to you. 

“Griot. Does she show any signs of injury?”

“Assessing damage Panther.” She waited patiently as Griot scanned your body. “Ikumkani wam shows no signs of injury.”

“Thank Bast.” Shuri breathed a sigh of relief. 

You began to stir and Shuri stood to her feet walking over to your side. She held your hand as you opened your eyes. 

“Hey there, pretty girl.” She says leaning in, gently caressing the side of your face. 

“W-what happened?”

“You fainted, and had a seizure.” Your eyes widened before you averted your eyes. 

“I’m not here for I told you so baby. I’m just happy you’re ok.”

A soft knock at the door interrupted the moment. 

“Did I hear her talking?” Your sister walked in with Wayne trailing behind. “Girl thank God you’re up. You scared the shit out of me!” Your sister came over kissing your forehead.

“Yes we’re all happy to see you up. You gave us all quite a scare.” Wayne said. Your team stood outside of the door not wanting to overwhelm you. Shuri spoke up. 

“I’m glad you all are here. I think this is a perfect time for me to voice how I don’t appreciate the complete disregard for my wife’s health. If it was my say all of you would be fired.”

“Shuri.” You say about to chastise her when she threw a look over her shoulder that let you know now was not the time.

“I’m being as nice as I have the patience to be right now….It’s been a long day. You all will postpone the tour for two weeks.” You gasp.

“Shuri that’s excessive! I alrea-” Shuri turned all the way around looking down at you from her seated position. 

“I’m sorry sthandwa..Did that sound like a request? I should’ve went with my first mind and shut it down last night. However, this is your thing. So I deemed it necessary to run it by you first. But, since you don’t seem to know your limits I’ll be taking things into my own hands until you prove to me you can. And it’s not up for discussion.” She spoke firm staring directly into your eyes, and there was no room for argument. She directed her attention back to your team. 

“Call the venues, get a price point on the fines and the date changes. Let me know. I’ll take care of it. Staff will also be compensated. Just get it done. All business is to go through me and me only for the next two weeks. Got it.” Everyone acknowledged her with a firm yes and she dismissed everyone to allow you to rest. With the exception of Dani, who decided to stay with the two of you to help out.

Shuri pulled up a document on her Kimoyo beads and began typing.

“What are you doing?” You ask

“Requesting that M’Baku take my place for the next two weeks. So I don’t overwhelm myself.”

She side eyed you and you looked away. She turned around to you grabbing your chin, turning your head back toward her. 

“Ubusi, when I met you…It’s like….like I grew another limb. You became apart of me. Apart of my body, and If you’re not ok neither am I. I need you to take care of my body baby. There is no strength without rest.” You bite into your lip. Your wife always had a beautiful way with words. 

“I understand. I’m sorry about earlier I-“

“Let’s not talk about that now. You need to get some rest. I’m not dismissing it. Just saving it for another time. Ok?” You nod and she softly kissed your lips.

For the next week you watched your wife take care of your business. You noticed how much attention to detail she had to have been paying to the way you ran things, before you got sick. She didn’t miss a beat. She made sure you ate, hydrated, and rested. Took meetings with venues and made sure your staff was paid, suggesting that they rest as well. You also noticed, that with all the care and love she was giving you, she was still a bit stand off-ish. 

“Baby what’s wrong?” You’d find yourself asking constantly. She’d always rebut with, “Nothing my love, just a lot on my plate.” However, you knew better.

Her kisses were light and didn’t linger, she’d bring your meals, but, wouldn’t snuggle up, and eat them with you. And when you two went to bed she’d kiss your forehead and turn over away from you. You hated it! 

The two of you still hadn’t talked about the argument. The more you thought about it, the more guilty you felt for overreacting. You’d gone entirely too far. You knew that you had really hurt her with some of your harsh opinions about how she felt about you and your career. Regret was as simple as you could put it, as you watched her handle the the career you built with all the love, just as you would. You had been wrong, and hurtful. And It was your turn to apologize.

Shuri pulled into the driveway. Taking a deep breath as she turned off the car. To be honest, home had been hard for her lately. She struggled with when to bring up the fact that you had hurt her. How did this part of your relationship go? Was she even allowed to be hurt? The two of you had never made it to this point. Shuri had always been the one ruining everything, and apologizing profusely. But, she’d fixed it. She was putting her best foot forward in this marriage. Being the best wife she knew how to be. She thought you’d known that. What was she doing wrong where you didn’t see?

She had been sitting in the car for 15 minutes. Meetings with your team, updates with the council, and checking in on her lab filled her day and she was ready to get some rest. Finally she decided to get out. Her energy was heavy as she walked to the front door placing her key in the lock. Stepping inside of her home she was immediately met with red and gold rose petals. Large glass vases filled with long stem roses, and candles led a path to a table beautifully set for two. You sat on the table, legs crossed in your sheer black floor length dress, breast on display with an edible arrangement settled on your lap, with the words sorry carved out in pineapple. A huge teddy bear that read “I love you” sat in the corner and balloons with apologies written all over them,  littered every corner of the room. But over top of your head were huge balloons that individually spelled. IM SORRY. In case she wasn’t getting the message.

Shuri was stuck, speechless at the door. The last time you’d done something this beautiful for her was when you proposed. The thought brought tears to her eyes, as she took it all in.

“I know grand gestures and elaborate apologies are usually your thing. But, I thought I’d take a jab at it this time.” Shuri chuckled as a tear fell down her cheek. You looked at your beautiful wife. Today she was apparently feeling her femininity. A jean dress that hugged her silhouette so perfectly graced her beautiful body. Her braids were adorned with golden string, and her makeup was perfection. You couldn’t help but think that you were a lucky women. 

“You look beautiful, Sweet Lady.” She look down slightly and you could tell she was trying to hide her blush. It brought a smile to your face.

“I promise I didn’t over exert myself. Dani helped with dinner, and I had a few other hands with helping me get all of this set up, before I kicked everyone out.” You stood from the table placing the edible arrangement onto it. You reach out your hand to her. “Come here.” Shuri made her way to you, heels clicking against the marble floors. When she was close enough you grabbed her hands.

“Baby I’m sorry. For a lot of things. But, first of all for putting my hands on you. I was delirious. I am fully aware we don’t operate that way. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, and that I made things more difficult than they had to be. And most importantly, I’m sorry for the things I said. I know I have a habit of putting my guard back up in certain areas of my life out of protection for myself. I recognize I don’t have to do that with you. I recognize how ungrateful and entitle I’ve been. Overlooking your effort. I do see you. And I’m very appreciative of the work you put in for us.” Shuri sniffles looking down at her feet. You lift her chin slightly so that her eyes can meet your own again. She bit into her lip, her low eyes connecting with yours. 

“I can see that I hurt you, and I hate it. I wish I could take everything I said back because I didn’t mean it in the slightest. Those weren’t words meant for you, and who you’ve shown yourself to be to me. I let the past infiltrate what we have now, and for that I truly apologize Shuri. So, if you give me the chance, I can be better at showing you how much I appreciate you. I know you know I love you. I’ll forever be in love with you. I don’t want to mess us up either. Your love is wonderful, and I don’t want to loose you.”

Shuri had tears streaming down both of her cheeks now. You use the pad of your thumb to wipe away the tears. Finally, the two of you step into eachothers arms. “I love you sthandwa, I’m giving this all I got.” She finally says. The softness in her tone almost broke you.

“I know baby. And you’re perfect.” you say wrapping your arms around her neck as she buries her face into yours. She picks her head up, placing her forhead to yours staring into your eyes.

“I miss you.” She says. You nod. Knowing exactly what she means. 

“I miss you too. Can I kiss you?” You ask. She nods.

You close the distance and give your wife a long lingering kiss for the first time in days. Your lips slide against eachothers longingly. Passionately. This woman would forever be your heart. Your everything.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper against her lips.

“I forgive you, baby.” She responds.

“I need to touch you Shuri. Can I touch you please mama?” Another request came from you against her lips. She moaned her reply into your mouth. One of your arms slipped from around her neck. Gliding down her clothed chest to her abs, to the hem of her form fitting dress. You hike up her dress, your fingers brushing against her silk lined clit, her body shivered against your touch as she stepped further into you. Her mouth gapped open at the sensation, as you rubbed up and down against her. 

“It feels like you need me to touch you. But, you won’t tell me what you need beautiful.” Shuri’s knees buckled a bit as she backed you against the table. 

“Uh uh, calm down panther. I want to take care of you. Tell me you need me.”  She panted against your mouth as you stroke her bud. “Uhn. I-I need y-you please baby.” You smirk against her lips. “Good girl.” 

Shuri moaned, as the two of you switch positions Shuri now pressed into the table.

Your kissing became more intense. Pressing her up against the table, she lifts your dress as you firmly plant your thigh between her muscular legs. Shuri whimpers quietly, grabbing the back of your head and kissing you voraciously. Your bodies heave together, squirming, and writhing. Your thighs intertwined as you hungrily rub her vulva over her panties.

 She pulls you as close to her as possible, her nails unconsciously digging into your back. You pull away from her mouth, and begin kissing her neck. Sighing as she tugs on your hair. 

“I need you Shuri.” You say as you find the zipper at the back of her dress. Slowly unzipping her dress, pulling it down her shoulders. “I need you in my life. To be loved by you. To touch you. To taste you. I love you so much.”

Your hand finds her breast under a sheer, silky bra. You feel her nipple poking through the soft fabric, and take it between your two fingers, massaging it slowly.

“Fuck y/n.” She whispers, her hips continued to rotate on your thigh, her head thrown back eyes closed in concentration.

Wanting to feel her skin, you unhook her bra and let it fall off of her shoulders. Taking her small perky breast in your hand, you caress it softly, tracing circles around her nipple. Giving each one equal attention. 

“You’re so perfect. Beautiful and perfect. All of you.”

You take a nipple into your mouth and suck lightly, encircling, and kissing each one. Shuri begans frantically moaning  trying to rub her self against you harder. You lightly run your fingers up and down her bare back. 

“Tell me what you need pretty girl.” You whisper in her ear. “Tell me what I gotta do?” Shuri whimpers.

“Bast, I love it when you talk to me like that.”

“Mmm Daddy Panther wants to be my pretty girl tonight?” Shuri grabs the front of your dress. As her hips continue to grind against you. 

“Ewe! Let me be your good girl.” Your core throbs at the pretty sound of her voice. 

She sits eye level with you. You stare intently into her eyes taking her lower lip into your mouth, sucking as your hands slide gently down her sides, onto her thighs, and inside her panties. 

She lets out sweet a little moan and buries her head in your neck. She breathes heavily on your skin as you gently rub her mound, pressing hard against her clit. Your finger slides between her lips to find her slick and wet, her clit rock-hard. 

“Ndive kamnandi (make me feel good)” Her body shivered against yours. 

“Whatever you want baby girl. Whatever you want.”

You continue, rubbing on her clit, with calculated strokes soft, slow, up, down. 

“Please baby I need more. Uhn I want to cum for you sthandwa.”

She grips the back of your neck tighter as she lets out a breathy shudder. You move your  fingers in and out of her pussy. You felt her ridges squeezing against your fingers as her hips meet your thrust. Your thumb rubbed delicate circles on her clit as tears began to run down her cheeks.

"Yes baby right there!” She says. You start pressing hard against the upper wall of her pussy. She nearly collapses from this intense sensation. Her thighs shaking beneath you. 

“Ooohh fuck me y/n. You make me feel so fucking sexy.” Your mouth was agape as you watched Shuri bounce against your fingers. She looked more erotic than you’d ever seen her before dress bunched at her waist. Sweat begining to glisten over her beautiful breast, and one of her toned legs thrown over your shoulder, her pretty feet still adorned in her heels. 

“I could cum just looking at you right now Shuri. I can’t believe you’re mine. Fuuuck.”

Your arm supported her back so she wouldn’t  fall as you brought her closer to the edge of the table.  She tenses up against you now, squeezing you with both arms. A steady stream of the most beautiful sounds to ever exit Shuri’s mouth flowing into your ears.

“You’re close baby I can feel you. Give it all to me.”

The web of your hand pressed hard against her clit as your fingers pump in and out of her. You grab her clit between your middle and index fingers, pulling the foreskin up and down. A gasp escapes her mouth. 

“Ahhhh fuckgiveitgiveittomegiveittome!”

Her words ran together as you continued to work her pussy. Teasing bringing her to the edge and slowing down because you didn’t want this to end. You loved seeing your powerful wife like this. Putty at the tips of your fingers.

By now your fingers are drenched and pruning. Beads of sweat appeared on her forehead, as she fell back against the table gripping the cloth. She's whispering under her breath for you to fuck her, growing more and more insistent. You were mesmerized. She began to stifle screams and you reach forward pulling a pineapple from the stick. Placing the S in sorry into your wife’s mouth. 

“Here baby. That should keep that pretty mouth quiet.”

She bites into the fruit hard. It’s juices running down the sides of her face. “Uuuuuuhhhnnn.” She lets out a long moan muffled by the the fruit. You fuck her harder, as she drools, her back begining to arch off of the table. "I'm gonna come," she says breathlessly, her mouth still full. Her body begans twitching and convulsing uncontrollably.

"It's okay, l've got you baby. Give me that shit." You lean over whispering in her ear and kissing it lightly. A few more strokes to her G-Spot, your thumb circling her clit, and you finally let her release. She lets out a long, tremulous sigh, her eyes rolling back into her head before her whole body goes limp in your arms. She comes hard, her pussy clamping down on your fingers. Her warm cream coating your hand as  you take out your dripping wet fingers. You suck her juices from your fingers and lean over her grabbing the bottom of the s of her pineapple with your teeth. Tearing it from her mouth and pecking her lips as she lay catching her breath.

You squat in front of her. Coming face to face with your work. Her panties soaking wet and rolled to the side of her fat pussy her clit jutting out between the lips. Quivering. Calling out to you. You place her heeled foot onto your shoulder and answered the call. Cleaning her up, sucking all the cum from her lower lips. And spitting it back into her clit before taking it into your mouth. Her hips buck upwards as she reached down holding your head in place. 

“Too sensitive.” She says. You reach up moving her hand from your head holding it in your hand. “You can do it.” You kiss the tip of her clit and once again engulf it. 

“Uuughhh!!” She lets out, as you suck up and down on her engorged clit. “Baby it’s too much.”

“She’s calling me Shuri.” 

“Umphhh Fuuuck!” She says as you continue sucking her. You rub your face in it. Getting your face full of her juices. You felt Shuri tensing underneath you. Holding her breath. 

“Breathe, baby. Deep breaths.” She tried following your instructions, and you felt the exact moment the pleasure took over body.

Her heels painfully dug into your shoulders, egging you on. 

“Damnit! Y/n!” She yelled, as she let out huffs of breath. Breathing through the intense pleasure. 

“Tell me you like it baby.” Your fingers reentered her sweet pussy as you ate her like your final meal.

“FUUUUUCCCCK! I love it. You drive t-this pussy crazy! Uuhhhnnn Bast! Get up! I gotta pee! I-I’m gonna e-explode!” You dive in fucking her harder sucking her faster. “Y/n, MOOVVVEE!” Her body writhed violently on top of the table anything that had been on top of it now long gone. 

“EH!” A high pitched scream left her mouth as her body almost levitated into a seated position. Her eyes and mouth wide. She grabbed the back of your neck pressing you up into her pussy, as her hips began to thrust hard against your face. You felt a gush of liquid hit the back of your throat. Unattatching yourself from her you began to cough, only to go back in and suck some more of her. Letting Shuri cover your face in her essence. She slid from the table. Both of you falling to the floor. She landed on all fours. Pussy still hovering over top of your face. You lift up kissing it. 

“Stop! Stop, stop.” She said shivering. She lowered her body between your legs laying on top of your chest, and you let out a hiss. She looked up seeing small holes left by her heels on your shoulders. 

“Did I do that!? I’m so sorry babe.” You laugh. 

“Trust me baby, I enjoyed it.” She leaned forward kissing, licking and sucking your sex injuries as you carressed the small of her back moaning from the feel of her mouth on you. 

A wrapped gift caught the corner of your eye amidst all of the broken dishes and fruit on the floor. “Oh. I almost forgot!” Shuri hummed as she continued to tend to your wounds. You reach over grabbing the box. Tapping her back, signaling her to get up. She looks down at the box as she sits all the way up straddling your waist.

“What’s this?”

“Open it. You’ll see.” You giggle as she rolls her eyes. She removes the ribbon and wrapping paper. Opening the box to two diamond Catier bracelets. 

“Apology diamonds” you say. “ They’re engraved.”She picked them up looking inside. 

One read ‘For better’ the other read ‘For worse’. 

Shuri looked looked into your eyes tears brimming. You smile.

“Forever baby.”

[edurizon-mbbsabroad]

PETROZAVODSK STATE UNIVERSITY IN RUSSIA ..

[writethrough]

Hello! I just finished reading your Morpheus fics and I absolutely love them! So I thought about requesting something, too. Morpheus x reader where reader is feeling well and calls for him. They spend all evening togheter after a long time. reading togheter, watching some movies, talking and sharing their thoughts... until Morpheus notice it’s really late, almost midnight, and it’s time for reader to sleep, but she doesn't want to ‘cause Morpheus is always busy and she misses spending time with him, even whe she's asleep lately he was never there. Morpheus feels guilty and promises her he’ll be more present, especially in her dreams. A nice ending where he stays with her until she falls asleep, and him appearing in her dreams as he promised? Thank you 💖

A Homemade Remedy

(Morpheus x Female Reader)

Synopsis: After days of dealing with your sickness by yourself, you give in and call your boyfriend, hoping he'll come.

Warnings: Minor language

Word Count: 815

A/N: Stop two on the apology tour. I'm so sorry this has taken so long! And I want to thank you profusely for your patience. And for sending the request in. I really hope you enjoy this fluffy little fic!

Normally, you wouldn’t bother Morpheus with this. He had more important things to deal with instead. But you felt as if Death would appear at any moment, and all you wanted was some comfort from your boyfriend. 

You pressed the ruby pendant he gifted you to your heart, croaking his name. 

“Beloved?” 

You blinked, seemingly slower than usual. 

“Hi,” you whispered, covers pulled to your chin. 

He took you in for a few moments, brows pinched slightly. You could only tell he was worried because of how long you’d known him. 

“You are unwell.” 

“S’just a—” A coughing fit started, only ceasing when he handed you your glass of water. “Just a cold.” 

Between the tissues piled in the trash beside your bed, the bottle of medication without its lid, and the two additional blankets on top of you, he knew that wasn’t the case. You’d been here much longer than a few hours. 

“Why did you not call for me when your ailment began?” 

And there it was, the look you were dreading the more you prolonged summoning him. You’re not even sure he’s aware of his “kicked puppy” look. 

You shrugged, pulling the covers just below your nose.  

Morpheus made no sound—as graceful and Endless as ever. The only indication he had moved was the lifting of your blankets as he slid in behind you. 

“Turn around, my love.” 

You were far too weak and needy to refuse. 

Settling with your head on his thigh, he rested a hand on your hair. 

“I am here now, and I will take care of you,” he said. “Whatever you may need, I will gather.” 

“Just this.” Your voice barely carried on a whisper. 

“Then here I shall remain.” 

Morpheus always spoke softer than you would expect while still containing all the authority in the universe, but it sounded even softer. It held gentleness—kindness—a quality that said, “You are precious to me.” 

“What about the Dreaming?” you asked, eyes closed. 

“In Lucienne’s capable hands,” he replied without hesitation. You were so considerate of him and his duties, for once, he wished you’d be selfish.  

“What if she needs you?” Even as you said this, your arm settled over his lap. 

“She has looked after my realm much longer than you will be ill.” 

You squeezed him as best you could at the reminder. You didn’t like to think about what had happened to him. Though you met long after that, it hurt to know someone could do that to another being—human or not. 

Morpheus had reassured you he had healed. Much of that having to do with you. 

“Could you read to me, then?” you asked. 

A book appeared in seconds, his voice matching perfectly to the cadence of the lines. It didn’t matter what he was saying, hearing him speak in that hypnotic rumble was enough. Even the flipping of the page didn’t distract you. He was captivating from the first word. 

He’d read two chapters when your stomach growled. 

“When did you last eat?” His smile was soft, thumb grazing your arm. 

You shrugged, not wanting to be scolded. 

“Can you eat?” 

You weren’t sure if it was how shitty you were feeling, how tired you were, or how helpless you felt, but his words went straight to your heart. 

He considered how you might feel. He wasn’t pushing you to eat, but asking if you thought you could stomach anything. He wanted to help, but not at the risk of causing you more discomfort. 

You nodded, keeping your eyes closed so he wouldn’t see them watering. 

“Here.” He helped you sit up before picking up the bowl of broth that had manifested on the nightstand. 

You went to grab it, but he tutted, picking the spoon up himself and bringing it to your mouth. 

“I can feed myself,” you said after swallowing. 

“I know,” he said. “Please. Let me help you.” 

You ate the next spoonful without complaint, and soon, the bowl was empty. 

“Thank you,” you mummered, head nestled into the crook of his shoulder. 

“It’s late, you must rest,” he whispered into your hair. 

You shook your head, and tried to snuggle yourself closer to him, like if you planted yourself firmly enough, he wouldn’t be able to leave. 

“Haven’t seen you in forever,” you mumbled. “Don’t wanna waste it.” 

Guilt flooded Morpheus. He knew he had been neglectful of you, but you had been so patient with him. You were the embodiment of understanding—and he had taken advantage of that. 

“Go to sleep, dear one. I will meet you in the Dreaming.” His lips pressed to your crown. 

You hummed, head growing heavy. 

And when your eyes opened, there he was, holding you as you laid in his chambers. 

He smiled fondly, brushing your chin with his knuckles. 

“What shall we do now, my love?” 

Taglist: @sayumiht, @hatterripper31, @snowsatsu, @1950schick, @navs-bhat, @bookshelf-dust, @sapphireonline, @fictional-hooman, @steph-speaks, @ladyredstar1991, @secretdreamlandmentality, @ababycake, @morpheuss1mp, @boofy1998, @alice-the-nerd, @herfantasyworldd, @poemfreak306, @tronnily, @commanderfreethatdust

If you’d like to be added to any taglists, please comment or message me with the character you’d like updates on. 

[lulublack90]

Prompt 2 - Doctor

@jegulus-microfic July 2, Word count 1000

Regulus had always dreamed about being a doctor. His parents had mostly approved. They would have preferred he’d chosen to be a solicitor or an accountant, but they decided that doctor was also a respectable profession as long as he went into the correct area. Such as plastics, where all the money was. They had a friend who ran the plastics department at St Thomas’s in London and they arranged for him to train under him once Regulus finished medical school. 

But Regulus had other plans. He secretly sent out feelers to other hospitals and got offered a job in York. It was the one that he’d secretly hoped for. Sirius had moved up to York after he’d fled their family home. He’d gone to university there and fallen in love with the kindest man Regulus had ever met. Of course, his parents didn’t know that he knew any of this. 

He’d had all his correspondence sent to Sirius’s house and he’d go out on daily walks to phone his brother on a separate phone Sirius had sent him and paid for so they could talk without their parents finding out. 

Graduation day came. He was top of his class and a highly sought-after new doctor. He had his picture taken, said goodbye to his classmates and made a run for it. He left his parents complaining about the pitiful excuse for food that had been laid out for them and ran to Sirius’s waiting car. 

“Hey, Reggie!” Sirius’s smile was full of love and Regulus couldn’t help himself. He flung himself across the gear stick and hugged his brother as tightly as he could. “I’ve missed you too,” Sirius spoke quietly into his ear. 

They rushed back to his parent’s house and hurriedly carted the few boxes of his belongings down the three flights of stairs and out to Sirius’s car. Soon they were on the M1 and on their way north. 

He hadn’t just left his parents with no idea where he’d gone. He’d told them he had found another job and was sorry he left like he did, but he had no interest in learning how to pull back wrinkly old skin, so people could kid themselves that they looked younger than they were. He thanked them for everything they’d done for him and hoped that they would still want him in their lives. 

Remus was waiting for them at the front door. He flung his arms open and gave Regulus a firm, warm hug. 

“I’m so glad you made it, Reggie,” He said as he ruffled Regulus’s hair. They’d become good friends over the years since he and Sirius had met, even before they’d started dating. Sirius would drunk dial him and Regulus would spend most of the night chatting with Remus while Sirius did keg stands and made a show of himself. 

“Can we take you on a tour tomorrow? You can get to know the city before you start your first shift.” Sirius asked over dinner. Sirius had braved the locals to go to the chippy round the corner. It was excellent, the best fish and chips he’d ever had. 

Regulus went to sleep that night, finally feeling free for the first time in his life. He took Sirius up on his offer to see the small city. They ate breakfast and hopped on a bus into the city centre. Sirius took him to see the giant cathedral towering over the other buildings. Then through the Shambles, an ancient medieval street. The narrow street was jam-packed with shops and shoppers. The top levels of the buildings overhanging the street below. They took a walk along the bar walls that wrapped around the entire city, protecting it from enemy armies. Sirius took him on a river cruise down the Ouse and then into the Dungeons to learn about Dick Turpin. 

“Stand and deliver, your money or your life!” Sirius had yelled at him as he jabbed him in the back with a fake sword he’d gotten from the gift shop. 

“Turpin would have used pistols, not a sword,” Regulus pointed out. Sirius shrugged and poked him again. They walked down by the river to get home. His feet hurt but it had been worth it. The city was beautiful and he’d spent more time with his brother than he had for years. Tomorrow he’d start at the hospital and he needed to be wide awake to be on his game. 

Sirius dropped him off at the door, kissed his cheek and handed him a packed lunch. 

“Look at our boy Remus, all grown up and off to be a doctor.” Sirius pretended to wipe a tear from his eyes. 

“There, there dear. He’s a big boy now, we have to let him go,” Remus made his voice deep but struggled by the end, as he couldn’t help laughing. 

“Yeah, yeah, love you too. C'ya later.” He blew them a kiss anyway and walked through the doors. 

The resident in charge of them was the most handsome man Regulus had ever seen. He had to take a few deep breaths to calm his speeding heart. He felt suddenly very warm and could feel himself beginning to sweat. 

“Dr Black?” Dr James Potter looked up from his list. “You wouldn’t happen to be related to Sirius Black would you?” 

“Yes, he’s my brother, Dr Potter,” Regulus replied in as even a voice as he could. 

“He’s one of my best friends, I’ll be sure to let him know how you’re getting on,” Dr Potter winked at him. Regulus felt lightheaded. Oh, great, now he not only fancied his mentor but the guy just happened to be Sirius’s friend. He should have known better than to move in with his brother. Well, he was going to prove he deserved to be here. 

Dr Potter looked at him, his eyes glimmering with something.

“Well, this is going to be fun,” James grinned widely before they began the morning rounds. 

[zackstriker]

Their recent inability to shut up about sex is making me craaazy because it’s giving “we’re not having sex right now so we’re incredibly sexually frustrated and will not shut up about it!”. It’s a more recent thing too, not their typical sporadic comment but literally every video and occasional tweet and reply has had sex and positions and top and bottom since June. Idk maybe it was Dan’s birthday maybe it’s the summer weather but they cannot shut up about Phil being a bottom and their love of sex.

ohhhh that’s an interesting take… with phil’s medical stuff that definitely could be the case. I firmly believe there’s truth in every joke (universally, not just w dnp) so i could see that.

i assumed its more of the boiling frogs theory. i think they’re purposely including lots of romantic/sexual moments within videos a) because they know we will eat it up (and we do), but also b) because they have the freedom to do so and there’s a sense of reclamation (kinda like when baby gays only talk about being gay because they actually can for the first time) and c) to either let us know they’re together without explicitly saying it or to prepare us for a hard launch post tour (dan did similar stuff to soft launch the gay before hard launching it after II).

They’ve been doing so much subliminal couple-y stuff lately like the bride+groom look in dnp dress each other and the matching shirts in todays video. i used to not think there would ever be a hard launch (i think they’re together but i thought they would want to keep something to themselves bc of how much the internet took from them) but they keep pulling more and more shenanigans that makes me think they might just be boiling us for the hard launch after all.

It’s interesting though because you can see moments when they still limit what they say bc of how it could be perceived, like in the video today when Phil changed the lyrics of paparazzi into a joke bc he didn’t wanna say the “i’ll follow you until you love me” part out loud. Similarly there’s been a few jump cuts in recent videos where they have been laughing at a joke that was seemingly cut.

I also must admit i did not participate in top/bottom discourse or anything back before the hiatus, so my lore knowledge in that particular regard is somewhat lacking in historical context.

All that being said, I do love a good bottom phil joke tho.

[follow-up-news]

President Joe Biden is zeroing in on the policy goals closest to his heart now that he’s no longer seeking a second term, visiting New Orleans on Tuesday to promote his administration’s “moonshot” initiative aiming to dramatically reduce cancer deaths. The president and first lady Jill Biden toured medical facilities that receive federal funding to investigate cancer treatments at Tulane University, where researchers demonstrated using a piece of raw meat how they are working to improve scanning technology to quickly distinguish between healthy and cancerous cells during surgeries. The pair then championed the announcement of $150 million in awards from the Advanced Research Projects Agency for Health. Those will support eight teams of researchers around the country working on ways to help surgeons more successfully remove tumors from people with cancer. It brings the total amount awarded by the agency to develop breakthrough treatments for cancers to $400 million.