#topic: neurodivergence

[krikeymate]

Different anon than before.

But what if, instead of Tara freaking out and begging Sam to stay she just. Stops. Goes catatonic. Sam leaves without realizing the state she just left Tara in.

Tara just sits on the couch staring into the distance, completely unresponsive when Quinn comes in. She calls Mindy and Chad cause she doesn't know what to do. They rush over and can't get any response either. They try to call Sam multiple times but she doesn't answer so they start fearing something happened to her. They still occasionally try to get a response from Tara but still can't. Then finally after several hours Sam comes back and just sees everyone gathered around Tara with lost looks on their faces.

Love a little catatonia disassociative episode.

First up, I want to point out how fucking perfect a time that would be for Ghostface!Quinn to decide to make a play lmao. Imagine Sam coming home to a Ghostface holding a knife to her sister's throat, except Tara isn't even reacting, she's just sitting there, and she doesn't respond when Sam calls out to her.

Anyway.

Quinn comes home and Tara's just sitting there, face vacant, she's not responding when she talks to her. Quinn tries to call Sam first, she's not in the apartment and her phone sits on the table. She has the twins' numbers for emergencies, and this seems like an emergency. (She thinks about taking Tara out now, about leaving a scene for Sam to come home to. But her father isn't ready yet, he's still planning, he wouldn't forgive her if she jumped the gun). She calls the twins and acts the concerned roommate.

They can't get through to Tara. Sometimes she speaks when spoken to - Tara, honey, you need to wake up now, please / I'm already awake - voice monotone, face blank and unchanging.

It's nearing 3am by the time they hear the front door and Sam steps - stumbles - through. She's been drinking. Chad grabs her by the jacket and shoves her against the wall. Despite her inebriation, she still reacts fast, grabbing at his wrists and digging his fingers in. The pressure forces him to let go, but he shoves at her shoulders again. "Where the hell have you been?!" he yells. "Chad," Mindy warns from her place beside Tara. "Getting mad isn't going to help."

"What the hell, Chad," Sam demands, pushing him back. She sees her sister. Mindy places a hand on Tara's, and speaks to her, hoping to get a response: "Hey, look, Sam's back!" Tara tilts her head slightly, eyes as focused on the floor as they have been since the moment they arrived. "Sam left. She hates me... gone."

Sam rushes forward and drops to her knees in front of her sister, fear sobers her up fairly quickly. She cups her face and moves her to face her. "Hey, hey, I'm here, what's going on? Tara?" The girl blinks, eyes unseeing. Oh, Sam thinks. This again. It's happened a couple of times when Tara was younger, she would just... shut down. It has only happened the once, after... what happened. But they always had such obvious triggers, she doesn't know why this wo- oh, she said...

Sam closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, guilt and shame flooding her system. She tells the twins she's got it from here, voice stern and leaving no argument. She offers them no explanation.

Sam stands and takes the time to prepare herself. She removes her shoes and her jacket, she gets changed into her pajamas, and sets out some for her sister as well. She goes to the kitchen and prepares some sandwiches, sealing them up in a food container, and fetching a couple bottles of water. She deposits this all on her bedside table and goes back to her sister.

She reaches out for her hands and says: "Ok babygirl, I need you to stand up for me, ok?" "Ok," she replies, complying. "Great, good job, come with me." Sam holds Tara's hand and turns, pausing to make sure Tara's able to follow. She does.

She directs her sister through getting changed, pushing the clothing into her hands and helping where required. Tara's always been able to follow simple commands when she shuts down like this. It makes it a little easier to care for her through it, it doesn't make it any less frightening. She thinks of this happening when Tara is with one of those strangers, of it happening alone, surrounded by people who don't care about her. She wishes she could turn her brain off.

She tucks them both into bed, and holds her sister close. "I'm here Tara, and I'm not leaving, ever. I'm sorry I scared you, I just needed some air. But I'm here, ok? I'm here, and I'm not mad, and it's going to be ok. I love you. I've got you."

[fastbrain]

I couldn't resist creating some dad content for Fathers' Day here in Aus yesterday.

(The Reddit post with more Palia-related puns)

[melancholyghoul]

I mentioned writing my paper on crime reduction about hate crimes against trans people to my lecturer because I obviously think about it all the time and he said none of his students have ever written a paper focused on trans people and that he'd be excited to read it

Great and all but finding enough references is going to be a nightmare, it's so niche and so under researched that my usual ~10 for a 1500 word report is going to be a stretch

Proves that it's even more necessary though

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I love my church family but there is an unfortunate tendency in Christians to not believe in mental illness/neurodivergency

[schizouse]

Why minors can indeed have ASPD

[PT] Why minors can indeed have ASPD [END PT]

Written by, and yours truly, a minor professionally dxed with ASPD.

It's an very popular misconception that minors cannot have ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder) and instead must have CD (Conduct Disorder) because the diagnosis criteria states an individual must be 18 or older. But here is why that is wrong;

'Adult diagnosis' isn't really a thing as mental disorders can't just appear in adulthood. The causes of ASPD include genetics and childhood trauma and symptoms of ASPD can start at as young as 2-5 years old and in order to be diagnosed you must've showed symptoms before the age of 15.

Conduct Disorder is not an minor equivalent to ASPD, they're two different disorders. Adults can have CD just as well as minors can have ASPD. Conduct Disorder refers to unlawful conduct/behavior and CD itself doesn't typically affect the entire personality since it's not a personality disorder while ASPD does and is more severe than CD.

Although few, there have been multiple cases of minors being diagnosed with ASPD because their symptoms were too severe to be CD, and the symptoms weren't the result of puberty or from another disorder. One of, and maybe the only, reason why minors aren't typically diagnosed is because differentiating antisocial behavior and just normal teenage behavior can be difficult.

Of course still most minors won't be professionally diagnosed, a lot of them are self-diagnosed and there is no problem with that either as long as they've done their research and they know it's not CD nor puberty or another disorder. "What if they're wrong?" "What if it is CD?" It's okay to be wrong about self-diagnosis, they're no professional and you probably aren't either.

You don't know what another person has and, unless they blatantly say they're faking, you cannot know they're faking. Tired of some of y'all talking about a disorder you don't have or know nothing about.

[aroaceleovaldez]

in your most recent tyson post, you said something about leo being distinctly autistic-coded and I was wondering if you could elaborate on that? it sounds really interesting (sorry if you've already posted something on this, I couldn't find anything though)

Of course! I do have a specific tag for talking about Leo's autistic-coding/traits - [here], and [one for Nico as well].

The main aspects with Leo being autistic-coded actually have a lot to do with Nico being autistic-coded, because it's the comparisons between the two that most clearly indicate Leo is autistic-coded rather than it just being his ADHD or etc.

So with Nico being autistic-coded, it's very clear in the Titan's Curse that he's intended to be autistic. First, the first series has a repeating pattern of secondary characters being very distinctly neurodivergent-coded in different ways (Annabeth's adhd/dyslexia, Tyson's down syndrome-coding, Nico's autism-coding). With Nico's introduction, he's pretty stereotypically autistic and we're given a lot of descriptors about him that are notably not attributed to him being ADHD, like it would be for other demigod characters. He doesn't register social cues such as people getting annoyed at him, he's asking/making inappropriate or impolite questions/comments, he gets particularly upset about change (such as Bianca joining the Hunt) and generally gets emotional, and one of his most notable traits he's introduced with is the fact that he has a special interest (MythoMagic) - and we're shown that this special interest particularly colors how Nico navigates the world. While ADHD has hyperfixations, we don't really get much acknowledgement of hyperfixations with demigods usually - Annabeth gets a little, but most others don't and it's not nearly as focused-in on as Nico's is.

Then as the series continues we see these traits stick with him and him start to show or voice more traits that similarly indicate he's autistic: He regularly mentions how he doesn't understand living people and prefers the company of the dead (social issues). He has more notable stims than other demigods (twisting his ring, fiddling with bones, etc). He's indicated to have strong sensory preferences (usually wearing mostly black/aversion to bright colors, usually wearing layers/his coat, multiple times he's described as wearing loose/baggy clothing or clothes too big for him). He has specific comfort items (his ring, likely his jacket(s) as well). We later get even more information about his special interests (Mythomagic/mythology/history and an older interest in pirates - the latter he specifically notes likely heavily influenced his feelings towards Percy). He struggles with emotions and facial expressions and tone. He struggles particularly with ostracism and feeling like he doesn't fit in and has something distinctly different about him from the people around him (who notably, all have ADHD, which indicates it isn't the ADHD that's making him feel that way), and other characters regularly describe him as being off-putting because of his strange behaviors - again, different from specific ADHD traits they recognize. And that last point is kind of notable because we have Hazel and Bianca for comparison - we know people are off-put by both Nico and Hazel because of being children of Hades/Pluto and their powers/aura, but other characters get past that general feeling of discomfort way faster with Hazel. And even after characters get past the death stuff with Nico, there's a second thing that they aren't moving past that isn't a factor with Hazel (Nico's autism).

So that brings us to Leo - Leo is paralleled to Nico a lot. And there's some very specific traits about him that we know are autistic-coding because of how they're used with Nico: He similarly struggles with social cues/etc, and in a very similar parallel to Nico describes how he prefers the company of machines to people because machines make more sense to him. He has similar types of clothing/sensory preferences (again some stuff with layers but also - pockets! He likes having pockets and things to put stuff in! He's even introduced as having a jacket with lots of pockets), and he has a distinct special interest (machinery) that we specifically know heavily influences how he views and navigates the world (constantly comparing things to machinery, describing things with machinery metaphors/terminology, etc etc). He even describes his entire general worldview to Hazel and it's a machine metaphor. He also similarly struggles with ostracization like Nico does, the only difference being that Leo specifically puts on a persona to compensate for areas he knows he's lacking in and very explicitly describes it as a means to make people like him, because without it he normally struggles to fit in (He's masking!). We also see notes of characters describing that similar discomfort with Leo's behaviors that they do with Nico, except without the aura of death this time. And when we're in Leo's POVs we see a very stark difference between his masking and his actual personality/behaviors such as his internal dialogues or how he behaves when he's alone. Also, like Nico, he stims more than other demigods, though for Leo it's more attributed to his ADHD. Leo also, more often than most, similarly struggles with tone and reading the room, such as making misplaced jokes/comments or etc.

But yeah! It's really interesting. Also it's just a fun thing that ADHD/dyslexia and autism have comorbidity, so it makes sense that we see demigods who are also autistic. It's also really fun to look at how other characters are coded in the series, what coding looks like in the riordanverse specifically (usually it's tied into the mythological stuff - like Chiron being in a wheelchair but he's actually a centaur, Grover being introduced as having a muscular disease but he's actually a satyr, demigods having adhd/dyslexia, Tyson being coded as having down syndrome but he's a cyclops, etc etc - it's a lot of specific metaphor stuff that I've talked about a bit before), and to look at how characters are compared to one another.

[the-deef]

no one wants to talk about how back to the future is a genius movie about how if you go back in time to meet your parents, especially if they were around in the 50s, you might find out that your dad is autistic and your mum is incredibly horny all the time

[schizopositivity]

It's so refreshing to see a big news network, covering the story of a famous musician opening up about his experience with psychosis in a respectful way. They let Matt tell his story without judgment, even the comment section is respectful. I hope more people see this, and see that psychosis is a topic that can be covered without stigma, without sensationalism, and without shaming or speaking over the person who experienced it.

[intergalaactic]

i love the insane juxtaposition between how we talk about autism on tumblr vs on tiktok. on tiktok all everyone ever really discusses are the “easier” parts of autism, the “cute” ones like stimming, special interests and SOMETIMES, and HEAVY on the sometimes, they talk about the lack of tonal understanding and missing jokes and it’s like… dude that’s maybe 1/4 of what the Autism Experience™️ is… like i love tumblr bc we really talk about all the ugly parts on here like what is ACTUALLY means to go mute/nonverbal, or the daily struggles with hygiene and independence, the horrible feeling of knowing that you are fundamentally different from everyone around you and trying to mask but knowing they see through it and being compared to non human creatures to the point where you actually start feeling nonhuman!!! like okay missing the joke sometimes is annoying but yknow what’s worse? not being able to look after myself and knowing there’s a decently high chance that i’ll never be able to live alone. like i need tiktok autistic people to understand that in order for you to have autism, which is a disability, it does have to actually disable you first. i’m not saying that because they only post the “cuter” parts that they don’t have autism!! but like it’s an app full of teenagers and i feel the need to remind them that we all miss jokes sometimes, and we do all have interests and shows that we may really enjoy!! and that’s okay!!

but idk maybe i’m being bitter or smth i always get paranoid that i’m just being a hater but there’s not a single autistic person i know that hasn’t genuinely suffered bc of it in their lives whether it be in their social or personal or academic life. just a thought!!

[weird colours included bc huge chunks of text like this are gross to read otherwise lmfao]

[trans-axolotl]

Image description: [Black text on lined paper. Text reads: Share your story with the Psych Survivor Archive. Hold the psychiatric system accountable for the violence and coercion we've survived. Make space for our anger. Grieve together. Celebrate our resistance. The Psych Survivor Archive is a forum for psych survivors to share about their experiences and be believed. You can share as much or as little as you want. Your story will be anonymously published on the website with writing from other psych survivors. The archive is open to anyone who identifies as a psych survivor, including people who survived inpatient hospitalization, rehab, troubled teen industry, partial hospitalization, outpatient programs, ABA, and any other form of coercion psych treatment. Check out the prompts, participant rights, and content guidelines. Share your story now: www.psychsurvivorarchive.com/submit-your-story]

Hey everyone. I wanted to share this here as well. The Psych Survivor Archive is looking for anyone who wants to share their story and have it anonymously published on the website, in order to create a collection of our experiences navigating the psych system. Your responses will be anonymous and can be as detailed or vague as you want. On the website, there are prompts, but you can feel free to share in whatever format makes sense to you.

This is a more informal way to participate in the Psych Survivor Archive if you are not interested in creating art for the zine, but still want your story to be heard and validated.

For me, it has felt very cathartic to write out my story, on my terms, in the way that I want to be known. I hope that the archive can offer that space to other psych survivors as well, and I can't wait to keep developing this project and offering even more. In the next couple weeks, submissions will open up for the second edition of the zine, so if you're interested in submitting creative art or writing keep an eye out!

love and solidarity always <3

[idksjdhshdhd]

I wish they had an emoji to show my excitement about some things rather than just having to do a keyboard smash to show genuine excitement

[krikeymate]

Foster AU: what if as Tara approaches her 18th birthday, she has this fear in the back of her mind that Sam will kick her out/want her to leave because that’s what “normal” people are “supposed” to do when they turn 18. Cue her pulling away a bit because she’s so anxious about it and Sam being confused and a little hurt until it finally just comes out that Tara is scared that she won’t want her around anymore.

And Sam subsequently saying something along the lines of “you can stay with me as long as you want but I don’t want you to leave ever.”

Tara usually joins Sam at work. Sam trusts Tara to stay home alone, and more importantly, she trusts in the rigid security system, thick doors, reinforced windows, and numerous locks, their new home - recently moved into - has had installed. But Tara doesn't like being left alone in the house, and her tutor - Sidney - has the week off for Thanksgiving. (She had actually invited them both over to stay for the holiday, but Sam had recently been promoted to manager because she works the holidays, and didn't feel right then dumping the responsibility on the others and disappearing).

So, Tara sits in the staff room on her Nintendo Switch playing Pokemon, exploring Kanto with Sam the Pikachu, when Jill, 19 years old and only several months into the job, takes her break.

Tara doesn't like Jill (she doesn't like anyone). The way she speaks to her makes her uncomfortable, but she can't quite figure out how to explain why, so she doesn't say anything about it at all. Sam says she needs to think about her words more. Sam was laughing when she said it, but Sam doesn't say things she doesn't mean, so Tara tries to think about her words more before she says them. Dr Martin says she should think about the why behind the words, and that if she can't really explain why she wants to say what she does, then maybe she shouldn't say them. Sam told her that was stupid and she could ignore what Dr Martin said, but Tara still thinks about it sometimes.

"Hey, so I hear it's your birthday soon," Jill pipes up, pulling out a chair at the table. Tara wishes she wouldn't speak, and just nods her head, eyes never leaving the game.

"Soooo... what're you gonna do when you turn 18?" she continues. The question confuses Tara and she flicks her eyes to the girl for a moment. "What do you mean?" she asks, frowning. She continues to stare at the screen, but her hands still on the controls, battle screen flashing.

"Well," Jill says, chewing obnoxiously on her gum, "are you gonna, like, go to college or get a job, or what?"

Tara puts the Switch down to stare at Jill. She thinks carefully about her words. Don't be stupid is probably the wrong thing to say. "Why would I do that?" she eventually settles on.

Jill stares at her in bafflement, a weird smile on her face. "Well, you can't just stay with your sister forever." There's a laugh in her voice, like the idea is ridiculous. "You're an adult, not a little kid. 18 is when you leave the nest and make your own way in the world!" Jill looks at her, waiting for Tara to speak, then frowns, as if remembering who she's talking to. "Well, I mean, for normal people anyway. I guess it's not the same for people like you, what with your..." she waves her hand around in place of finishing her sentence.

The door opens and Sam appears over the threshold. "Jill, your break was over 3 minutes ago and there's a line of customers waiting to be served," she chastises, not unkindly. Sam catches sight of Tara's face, tight and upset, and lingers, moving out of the way for Jill to pass. Once she's gone, she moves into the room, shutting the door behind her.

Kneeling down at Tara's side, she puts a hand in her lap and the other brushes against her cheek. "Hey, you ok, what happened?"

Tara squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head. "Fine," she mumbles out, taking a deep breath. Sam frowns. "Did she say something to you?" Tara shakes her head again. "It's fine," she says, more solidly this time. Sam goes to push the subject, when they hear muffled yelling in the distance. Sam sighs, getting back to her feet, hand lingering on her cheek. She pulls Tara's head up to leave a kiss on her forehead and gives her a smile, "just a couple more hours," she says wistfully. "What do you want for dinner?" "...Mac 'n cheese?" "As my girl requests, mac and cheese it is."

~

Tara's quiet over dinner that night, and retires to her own room for once. Sam struggles to fall asleep without her. She's not used to sleeping alone anymore.

The following week is weird. Tara chooses to stay home, even though Sam knows she doesn't like to be alone. She sleeps in her own bed, and hides away, and picks at her food. She shies away from Sam's touch.

Sam thinks back, trying to determine when it started, what caused it. She thinks back to that day in the breakroom, and corners Jill, demanding to know what she said.

"I just asked her what her plans were," Jill exclaims, hands up and a little nervous at Sam's expression. Sam's face scrunches in confusion, "plans? What plans, what are you talking about?" "Y'know, for being 18, the future or whatever." Sam shakes her head, she doesn't understand, and voices so, frustrated.

"Wow, you two really are sisters," Jill mutters, rolling her eyes. "Look, normal people turn 18, they move out, they go to college, th-" Sam storms off before she's even finished speaking.

Normal. Sam hates that word.

~

Sam crawls into Tara's bed that night. She curls around her and pulls her back into her and whispers "you're not gonna leave, right? When you turn 18?" She watches Tara's fingers tighten around her wolf. "Cause," Sam continues, "I would really like you to stay, for like, the rest of your life, but I understand if you want to leave, if that's what you want."

Tara twists in her grip, shoving her face in Sam's neck. "Don't want to leave," she mumbles, voice barely audible. "Oh," Sam replies, "that's good, because I don't want you to leave."

[ominous-faechild]

MODERN EXISTENCE

CHAPTER 1: MORE OF THE SAME

CHARACTERS: ✦ Beck Molleur ✦ Dahlia Molleur

story intro moodboard table of contents < last chapter next chapter >

(if it's possible for you to read and listen to lyrical music at the same time, please listen to the music provided ❤️)

NOTE: this story is centered on two characters in a codependent, toxic marriage. Exact content warnings about the relationship will not be given for plot reasons, so if you have ANY possible worries about that subject matter, I beg of you to be cautious before reading this story. Thank you.

Most topics are implied—haunting the narrative rather than being displayed openly—and this story depicts how one can be trapped in that sort of relationship. It has portrayals of depression, self-hatred, and implied abuse... although I would still like and encourage you to read it.

Countless images flashed through Beck's mind.

Flooded streets, loose wreckage of destroyed buildings, and rows and rows of suffering people.

It was always like this. Beck was constantly tormented by these kinds of visions. Visions of pain, destruction, and death. Anything and everything going wrong around the world was stuck in his mind, constantly playing again and again and again.

Whether he closed his eyes or had them open, tried going about his day normally or not, he was tormented by visions of misery.

Still, Beck now had his eyes closed, cheek pressed up against the back of a couch, and noise-cancelling headphones over his ears playing soft, calming music.

With his senses stifled, it was easier to focus on the visions. It was easier to see what he shouldn’t be able to see, hear what he shouldn’t be able to hear, and move what he shouldn’t be able to reach.

The soft music coming from his headphones calmed Beck. He’d seen so much suffering in his life that he’d long-since grown almost numb to it, but… that didn’t mean he was okay with it.

He still wanted to help.

So, when he could, when things were “a little too bad”, Beck made an effort to use his powers for good. He’d make small changes where he could—fill in a pothole that’d been untouched for years, trip up someone on the attack, make a stray noise to draw someone’s attention near danger, or manipulate information that could otherwise destroy people’s lives—and try to help people.

… for once in his life.

“Sometimes I for-get… the world doesn’t want me…”

A whole roof had been torn off its building by the vicious winds of a hurricane. It tore through the air, flying toward another home—and suddenly steered away, crashing into the street instead.

“And I won-der where… all of my friends are…”

Hundreds of miles away, cars were bottlenecked at an aging bridge… one that had long-since been shut down for repairs. Not that it’d ever been repaired—but still. It was supposed to be closed.

People were desperate to escape the hurricane, though.

They risked the bridge, and if it hadn’t been for Beck watching over it? It would’ve cracked under the weight of their cars, plunging them all into the hungry waters below.

“But then I remember… I’d pushed them all a-way…”

So much destruction, so much panic, so much chaos—and Beck did his best to help everyone he could in small ways.

To avoid detection.

For plausible deniability.

Few people believed in magic, so what else were they going to believe? That a god walking among them—one they’d otherwise blame for their misfortune—was looking out for them? Or that the wind moved just in time? That the bridge was just a little sturdier than the architects and scientists believed? That Their God, whichever one or ones they believed in, was looking out for them?

Yes. Far better for people to assume those than the truth.

They’d all agreed on that thousands of years ago.

“So where am I? Who am I?” the song continued, melancholic.

“And what will I do… when I don’t ev-en have me?”

The couch shifted under Beck, tilting him to the side, as something landed on his shoulder.

Beck flinched, mind abruptly returning to his body.

Snapping his eyes open, Beck quickly turned to look at what had disturbed him—

A pair of bright green eyes—on the most beautiful face he’d ever seen—met his.

Despite her soft smile, Dahlia's eyebrows were furrowed slightly in concern as she stared at him expectantly.

“Who will I be?” the song continued.

Dahlia was a woman Beck knew well, though her face had changed countless times over the years. Now, she wore one of a brown woman with angular features and a mane of long, curly brown hair. She sat against the couch with one knee, her hand still on his shoulder, and the scent of her lilac perfume washing over him.

Beck swallowed, then cleared his throat awkwardly as he looked away to stare down at the cushion creased under Dahlia's knee. Every fabric of his being screamed against it, but Beck hesitantly grabbed the earpads of his headphones to slowly take them off.

“Where will I g—?” the song lamented, before getting cut off for overpowering silence.

“Beck?” Dahlia's voice interrupted, warm and gentle. “Everything okay?”

A wave of relief flooded over him.

Relaxing and smiling weakly, Beck hesitantly looked back up to meet her eyes.

“Yeah,” he said awkwardly, “just… was working on some stuff.”

Dahlia's soft smile grew faintly teasing. Then, she shifted to sit in his lap, her knees propped up against the cushions outside of his legs. Her hand moved from Beck's shoulder to his cheek as the other went to the backrest over his shoulder.

“Oh, yeah?” Dahlia asked, her tease leaking into her voice. “Like what?”

Beck felt his face flush as he pressed his cheek into her hand.

Letting out a slow, shaky breath, he turned his face away as he placed his headphones to the side and awkwardly wrapped his arm around her. It pulled her close as he stared hard at the headphones, still faintly emitting sound.

“Just… helping out around the hurricane,” Beck said, his voice subtly thick. “You know… without making it too obvious.”

He let out a small, pained laugh, then closed his eyes as he sank his cheek completely into her hand.

Beck's exhaustion leaked into his voice as he added: “not that anyone would question it, anyways. They just thank whatever god they believe in… or consider it ‘miraculous’ and move on…”

The entire couch shifted as Dahlia moved.

Beck tensed slightly, his breath catching in his throat. He quickly opened his eyes and turned his head to once again look at Dahlia.

His wife shifted to fully sit in his lap, leaning her forearms into his chest, cupping her hands around his cheeks, and meeting his eyes with a warm, loving smile.

“Awe, that’s sweet of you, Beck,” she said, voice slightly teasing still.

Then her eyes closed, and she leaned forward.

Beck took a deep breath before following her example.

Dahlia's hands dropped from his cheeks to rub against his chest as she kissed him gently, then slowly deepened it.

Beck struggled to breathe, but carefully kissed her back. Wrapping his arms around her lower back, he lifted her just enough to cross his legs under her and pull her close.

Dahlia paused the kiss—and Beck opened his eyes, though hers remained shut—to speak lightly against his lips.

“Did you know that?” she asked.

He swallowed awkwardly, looking down, not knowing how to answer.

She didn’t give him the time to figure it out. Instead, she quickly went back to kissing him, moving her hands up his chest and to his cheeks, where she rubbed his jaw with her thumbs.

Taking a slow, unsteady breath through his nose, Beck pulled her even closer and tried to just enjoy the kiss.

I love you, Ver, he wanted to say.

But he bit it back, giving her the moment to do whatever she wanted.

Instead, Dahlia pulled away after kissing him for a few more seconds. Her hands moved from his cheeks to his chest again as he met his eyes with another warm smile.

Beck was too caught up in watching every subtle shift in her expression to recognize his own relief.

“I reserved a restaurant for us to eat at tonight,” Dahlia said, a slight, sly smile on her lips. “Bistro Minuit is your favorite, right?”

Face flushing again—hotter this time—Beck hesitantly tore his eyes from hers to stare at the floor, past her hip. At the same time, he moved a hand from her lower back to place it over one of hers on his chest.

“Yeah,” Beck said awkwardly, his voice thick.

Then he gave a weak, dry chuckle, closing his eyes.

“It’s still open?” he asked, his voice weakly amused. “With how fast time goes by—”

“Uxi,” Dahlia interrupted gently. One of her hands—the one not trapped under his—moved to cup itself around his cheek again.

Beck froze, his breath catching in his throat as he quickly returned his eyes to hers.

But Dahlia still had her warm, slightly-teasing smile on her lips.

Her tease leaked into her voice as she answered: “of course it’s still open. I just told you I made reservations, didn’t I?”

Beck's heart twisted, but Dahlia's face was still soft, easygoing.

“—And, besides, I make sure of these things, you know that,” she finished warmly.

She seems fine. Nothing to worry about.

Beck forced a weak smile in return, but then sighed heavily as he closed his eyes and sank his cheek into her hand again. At the same time, he moved his hand from the one on his chest to cup it over hers on his cheek, lovingly sandwiching it between his cheek and hand.

“Yeah,” he answered, voice thick, but level. “You’re right. Sorry, I’d… I’d like that.”

Feel free to share your thoughts below, regardless of what they are.

Unless, yknow, they're "wtf are you writing; stfu". Or "men can't be abused." Keep that kinda shit out.

This is a very heavy story, and will touch on heavy topics... even if only through implication.

(Also to those of you who recognize their names... 🙂)

story intro moodboard table of contents < last chapter next chapter >

taglist

@honeybewrites @the-golden-comet @illarian-rambling @ashirisu @urnumber1star

@the-letterbox-archives @48lexr @aalinaaaaaa @thecomfywriter @an-indecisive-nerd

@seastarblue @rae-butter @mythicalmagical-monkeyman @corinneglass @friedmiu

@caffeinated-starsailor @overwhelmedfernfrond @write-with-will @theink-stainedfolk @industrialideafactory

@waflof @apenasumlug4r @thebookishkiwi @casualtriumphinfluencer @pluppsauthor

@homeforinsomniacs

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divider by @cafekitsune

[cyber-therian]

they should invent cuddles/hugs that don’t involve any forms of physical touch including implications of touch

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

I don't supposed anyone has recommendations on like. good or classic types of non-fiction books on queerness and such? especially asexuality and aromanticism, but anything queer and adjacent is good too

I am very out of touch with what sorts of books people read and consider good resources or cornerstones of discussion, but want to get more into actually reading that kind of thing